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Why is everyone so hesitant? Sure, even Ryuji sees that things seem weird, but they’re supposed to take down the bad guys. What’s supposed to happen if they simply steal Okumura's treasure? Even if the fixation of the public feels a bit weird…
“Yeah…The excitement levels don’t feel normal. We might want to let things calm down a bit at first.” He feels surprised at Ann’s words. Normally, she is the one who is as willing to take down the bad guys as Ryuji is, but apparently not right now. He can’t say that he doesn't feel a bit disappointed and almost betrayed by Ann’s stance.
“You too, Ann!? You’re just gonna go against what people want!?” He knows he shouldn’t try to argue – he’s been told by almost everyone here that he’s too stupid for it and things tend to escalate more often than not – yet he can’t help but voice his complains.
“Huh? No, but…” Great, he’s made an ass of himself again. Of course, he has. It's what he always does, after all. It doesn't seem like he'll be convincing anyone tonight.
“For real…?” He should just leave it be. The decision needs to be unanimous, and there is no way the others will agree with him. Makoto and Yusuke are actively avoiding this conversation, Futaba looks with slight pity in Ryuji’s direction – which opens a whole new can of beans that he can not deal with right now – and Akira… well, he does what he does best. He quietly stands still and observes, probably waiting for a good moment to tell Ryuji to drop it…
“L-looks like we’re not gonna agree today then…” He could feel his frustration bubbling up again at Futaba’s words. He can’t snap at his friends, of course, but he doesn’t need to be the bad guy since he is already the idiot… and the loudmouth… and the… is he anything good according to his friends? No, he really shouldn’t think about this right now. It will only make things harder.
“Sheesh… Some team you are. What’s with all the hesitation? I can’t stand this!” Ryuji almost finds himself partially agreeing with the cat when Morgana suddenly added something to his statement.
“Even you, Ryuji! You just back down the second someone disagrees with you!” The hell? Why is he being singled out?! If anything, Morgana should be on his side, but of course, the stupid cat has to put him down whenever possible, no matter whether or not they are technically on the same page.
“What…?” It’s becoming harder and harder to remain calm. He can’t yell. He should be better than his old man, but why does his team always have to talk down to him? Why is it always fine to dunk on him, but whenever he snaps back, he is told to back off or shut up? He typically backs down sooner or later, but he finds it increasingly difficult to not fully snap, to not let something reach the surface that has been trying to for what feels like – and probably has been – months.
“I guess all you’ve been talking about is using the Phantom Thieves to pick up girls anyway.” That effing hypocrite did not just go there, did he?
“Being hyped up because of the popularity is fine, but getting conceited over it is unacceptable.” He could feel his anger turning white-hot, only a little bit left before he won’t be able to hold back any longer, yet he can’t let this stand like that. He is supposed to reply, everyone seems to be expecting it of him, even if they don’t bother to take his side – like always; if he’s such a big disappointment to his team already, then he might as well point out the obvious hypocrisy of the former navigator.
“Hey, aren’t you actin’ for your own benefit here too?” Nobody could disagree with that, right? At least, nobody seemed willing to disagree, which should count for something.
“My appearance might have changed but I’m still an admirable human! At the very least, I’m more admirable than some carnal monkey!” That’s it. He has had it and he can’t hold back any longer. By now, his knuckles have turned white from how hard he is pressing his hand into fists, and he has to actively stop gritting his teeth.
“Bullshit! Ya ain’t admirable! Ya’re just like a snarky, arrogant child!” He couldn’t control his volume any longer, but what is he supposed to do? Take it all like he always does? He’s had enough of Morgana’s bullshit, and he’ll tell him so right now. At least, that was his original intention.
“Ryuji, stop!” It only took Ann two words to make Ryuji realize one thing: No matter how often Morgana starts insulting him, no matter how long he endures it before snapping back, no matter how much in the right or wrong he is, his team – his supposed friends – will always side against him. He can see it in their faces even now… well, in every face but Akira’s who somehow is still just neutrally looking at this situation as if this is even remotely acceptable, even if he looks slightly uncomfortable about it. In that moment, he realizes something else and makes a decision. This is the final straw.
“No, you stop! I’ve had it with this asshole’s insults and snarky comments! Why can he insult me as much as he wants, but I ain’t allowed to snap back?!” His outburst clearly surprised the team, used to his hot-headed nature, but no one has ever seen this pure anger directed at anyone who wasn’t a shadow or Kamoshida.
“Maybe I’m as dumb as ya’ll make me out to be, but I notice this bullshit. Somebody misses an attack? It’s ‘No! What happened?’ but when I miss, suddenly it’s ‘You’re pathetic, Skull’. If I dodge an attack, suddenly I’m useful for something, but apparently, I ain't otherwise. And it’s been like that since day one. I’m sick of it!”
“That’s no way to talk to a lady, you brainless, reckless monkey!”
“Right there! That’s the other thing. Ya’ll are callin’ me reckless, but I’m the only one who does shit because nobody else does. I pushed Akira to go back to the Metaverse, I suggested we continue as Phantom Thieves to help others, I jumped in front of a fucking Taxi cause Makoto was in danger! I ain’t asking for a thank you, but I’m done bein’ put down for actually doin’ stuff.” He could feel a hand on his shoulder belonging to Ann who harshly looked at him.
“You should calm d-“ He quickly pulled away from her harsh grab.
“No, I don't! Ya don’t get it! If you don’t get shit about the Metaverse, then it’s fine, but if I don’t, then I’m a stupid monkey. It’s beyond messed up how all of you think that ya can use me like some kinda verbal punchin’ bag!” As he can feel angry tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, his eyes happen to meet their glorious leader’s and the dam finally breaks.
“And you…” the anger was so immense that his own voice began to fail him now that all his pent-up anger finally reached the surface and reared its ugly head. Akira seemed genuinely surprised to be called out in particular. He’s probably wondering what he could have possibly done wrong, which is the exact problem and the realization Ryuji just had.
“I call ya my best friend, but how come ya never bother to stand up for me? Ya didn’t help me when the track team beat me up in front of your eyes!”
“They what?!” Ann’s question met deaf ears.
“Ya did nothing when those two creeps groped and harassed me in Shinjuku. They fucking dragged me away and could have done who knows what to me! What did ya do? Enjoy your fucking train ride home!! Hell, ya never even bothered to check in on me afterwards…” The tears have officially started to flow and created two visible lines on his cheeks the moment his voice completely broke as he was finally saying what he should have the day after it happened.
“I…” It’s too late for an apology or explanation. Since Akira didn’t bother to say anything before, why give him the spotlight now?
“Ya've never even bothered standin’ up for me once when any of our ‘friends’ dogpile on me! From day one on, I was willing to lay down my life for ya – I fucking did in Kamoshida’s weird ass castle – but ya can’t even bother to stand up for me once, to come to my defence once, to do what a best friend should do once.” His anger and voice died down as he finished his rant thrown in his ‘best friend’s’ face.
He can still feel the tears rolling down his cheeks, but he can’t bother to be embarrassed about it. Now that the white-hot anger has died down, it’s been replaced by a sharp, cold feeling spreading throughout his entire body. In a way, he is thankful for the lack of wild emotions because he sure as hell can’t handle anything right now.
Everyone is just looking at him in shock, unsure of what to say to… that. It doesn’t matter. They haven’t cared about him before, so he might as well do them and himself the favour of putting an end to this. Without bothering any one in the room – not even Akira – with a final glance, Ryuji turns around and states as coldly as he feels: “’m out. Good thing ya won’t have to deal with me anymore now.”
Before anyone could register or react to Ryuji’s words, the former athlete already dashed down the stairs and out the café in mere seconds. He doesn’t know why he only snapped at them now when this has been going on for months, but it doesn’t matter. He can’t say he much regrets what he did, but he can say that he needs to bash in some shadows’ heads before any of the complex emotions related to everything that just happened – especially regarding a certain ex-leader of his – could possibly catch up to him. He knows he’ll break down if they do; if he can’t channel them into something else like fighting some shadows. His vision is still a bit blurry thanks to the tears that just won’t stop spilling, which is why he finds himself crashing into someone a few seconds later.
He is way too panicked and upset right now to register that he ran into Haru, even though she is actively talking to him. “Ryuji-kun? A-are you okay? You look rather upset. What happened?!” None of her concern and worry got through to him. Ryuji simply got back up and continued running because he was getting closer and closer to rolling in on himself and completely breaking down. The station isn’t far away; he’ll just go to Mementos there and let all his emotions out by fighting some shadows. It should calm him down. He doesn’t have any healing skills, but if he gets hurt then at least he will have another distraction from the mess that his emotional state is in right now.
In his complete absence from the presence, Ryuji doesn’t notice that Haru began running behind him, calling out to him. He doesn’t notice the voice until he is tipped on his shoulder the moment he begins the navigation to Mementos. The only thing left for him to do is look at Haru with shock and surprise when he turns around the second before the world around them morphs. Great, he isn’t really prepared nor in a state to explain the effing Metaverse to his friend – the only one left after what happened not even ten minutes ago. He won’t be able to fight some shadows immediately, and it’s that realization that finally sends him over the edge. The moment the world stopped morphing around them is the moment that Ryuji falls into Haru’s arms because he can’t deal with any of this shit right now. He needs someone who is there for him, and she is the only one who was ever nice to him – besides Akira when they were hanging out alone or the group didn’t start dogpiling on him yet. Hopefully, she can find it in herself to forgive him for this pathetic display.