affection

by Mackenzie_EV

Summary:

Luz eyes her roommate with a blend of suspicion and confusion. In a way, she really should’ve seen this coming; the flash of green she thought she saw in the café was the first clue that one of her many failed friendships was attending Hexside too, but the pricey room conveniently given to Luz of all people should’ve slapped her in the face immediately.

It takes her a moment to speak, and when she does, her voice is cold and distant.

“Still she/her, yeah?”

Amity mumbles “… yeah.” as a response in an uncharacteristically-small voice.

“Well, who am I to stop you?” Luz mutters as she holds the door open for the other girl.

~~~~

Or, a TOH College AU fic about broken relationships, communication, and college life. Updates every weekend.

Chapter 1: moving out

Summary:

Luz travels to her dorm at Hexside College, uncertain about her future.

Notes:

hey fuckos welcome to hell; chapter betaread by isabellechiming and nanodrivelive

i like to listen to music while i read/write fic, so below is a playlist with all the songs used for this fic. each one is also linked to at the beginning of each chapter, and there's notes in the text on when to play them, if you wanna be a little more immersed in the reading like i do. hope you enjoy if you do listen!

Track 01: Moving Out by Vacations
Full Playlist

*No track playing*

Luz stands on the street outside her quaint white house, holding a duffel bag of clothes behind her tiny blue car. She’s barely been up half an hour. It’s too early, if you ask her, to be doing this kind of work. Every time she thinks she’s finished, more junk appears on the porch. It looks like it could rain at any moment, but her mother and maybe-parent don’t seem to be scrambling. Said maybe-parent drops yet another  duffel bag on the porch and smirks when she hears Luz groan.

“The sooner we load up the clown car, the sooner we can be on the road.” Eda snorts.

“We?  You’re not the one doing the loading!” Luz snaps back, though her tone is anything but rude.

“Oh? No one informed me  that I was capable of such awesome feats!” The middle-aged woman places her hands on her back and juts her midsection forward, faking back pain. “My poor old back doesn’t seem too happy about it though, go on without me!” She laughs as Luz rolls her eyes.

“I’ve known you long enough to know when your ‘poor old back’ is actually  giving you trouble, Edalyn.”

“Going for the full name, eh kid? Am I in trouble?” Eda says with a tone as artificially sweet as the Splenda she puts in her coffee before letting out a small sigh. Luz isn’t as excited for this as she and Camila are. “We’re almost done. Just a few more bags and your computer. Surely you can make it without dropping the damn lead weight?”

“It’s early and I’m tired, so forgive me if I end up damaging my thousand-dollar gaming and music producing machine.” Luz replies, only loud enough for Eda to hear her. Nevertheless, Camila steps out of the house as if on cue, grinning at two of her favorite people in the world.

“Come now mija, we’ll be done in no time! Vámanos!”  she follows with, prompting another small grumble from Luz. Camila remains unfazed.

Luz drops the bag of clothes into her car’s trunk and walks back for the third (and thankfully last) one. She could easily carry more than one at a time, but the bags are so overloaded with clothes (that she’ll definitely  end up wearing during her time away) that handling them by the straps would result in at least one breaking apart mid-journey. It was just safer to move them one-by-one, as annoying as it was to Luz.

Camila ducks back into the house one more time for her car keys as Eda continues to watch Luz. When she comes out again, Eda quickly bumps Camila’s arm with her elbow and raises an eyebrow.

“How long ya givin’ her there?”

Camila also raises an eyebrow, feigning ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“How long before she ducks out like I did?” Eda’s expression drops a bit; Camila takes notice.

“I think she’ll enjoy it. She wouldn’t have spent most of the summer studying for all those basic classes if she didn’t intend on doing well.” Camila looks down at the wood that makes up the porch and quietly states “Es una chica inteligente, le irá bien mientras se mantenga motivada.”

Eda’s typical smirk adorns her face as she shakes her head. “Ya know one of these days you’ll have to start teaching me how to speak that Spanish of yours. Sometimes I think you’re deliberately trying to keep me from learning too much about you weirdos.” she jokes. Camila laughs as Luz returns to the porch.

“Are you almost finished loading the car cariño?  It’s almost eight, we should be getting on the road soon!” Camila asks gently.

Luz doesn’t respond, instead motioning to the remaining items on the porch. The only thing left was her computer, tower and monitors all going in the backseat to (hopefully) remain undamaged during the ride. She could only hope Camila wouldn’t drive too fast. As she slowly and carefully moves the lead brick of a tower to the car, she wonders if there are even enough outlets in her dorm to power all her stuff.

“Uh, Eda, did we pack surge protectors?”

Eda raises her hands placatingly. “Don’t look at me kid, electronics was your department.”

Luz puts on an unamused expression and decides against looking for any now. If anything she can just buy one at a supply store near campus, provided there is one.

With the tower and monitors safely “secure” in the backseat, Luz closes the doors and looks back at Eda and Camila. The two of them are engaged in a quiet conversation about…something  that Luz can’t make out. She waves her hand and softly shouts “Yo, we’re all set!” to get their attention. The two women stop talking and turn to Luz. A few seconds of silence passes before Camila speaks up.

“Mija, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I told you Mami, every possible toiletry is accounted for. Including toothpaste.”

Camila shakes her head. “No, no, su bajo?”  Luz looks puzzled, then turns her head away.

“I… wasn’t planning on bringing it. Wouldn’t it be too loud? For all I know the minute I plug the thing in it’ll wake someone up.” Her voice sounds smaller than it did a few moments ago.

“I didn’t say you were bringing the amplifier with you.” Camila laughs softly, brightening the mood. The stunt seems to work at first.

“What’s the point of playing if it’s not loud and distorted?” Luz replies, trying to keep the mood light, but the look on her face after she says it muddles the attempt. She purposefully avoids Camila’s gaze as she quietly says “It’s not like I’d be playing it for anyone.”

Camila takes a second to read the situation before responding. “You don’t need to play for other people to enjoy playing.” She nudges Eda to continue where she left off.

“Oh uh, yeah, Cami’s right kid. Y’always used to tell me that if you’re not playing for yourself first, you’re not really havin’ fun with it.” She shoots a finger gun at Luz, who takes a moment before responding with the same gesture.

“Yeah I suppose you’re right Eda. Couldn’t hurt to take it with me, I guess.” She steps away from the car and onto the porch. Before she can get through the door, however, both Camila and Eda are pulling her into a hug.

“Kinda killing your entire ‘we gotta go now’ vibe by stopping me like this.” Though she doesn’t show it, the hug is appreciated, if slightly disorienting. Eda ruffles her hair.

“Look kiddo, your stay at college being enjoyable is more important than being early to some stupid initiation ceremony.” Camila responds to this with a slight bump of Eda’s arm again, which the taller woman chuckles at, and speaks softly to Luz.

“Not that orientation isn’t  important, of course… but we can afford another few minutes.” She kisses Luz on the forehead and both her and Eda let go. Luz simply nods and walks inside to grab the bass guitar she left in her room. She quietly strides past the girl sleeping in an adjacent room. Upon seeing the instrument resting on its stand in the far corner of her room, she hesitates.

“They’re gonna end up thinking I’m trying too hard.”

It’s an unpleasant thought, but one she’s used to by now. Realistically, she knows she shouldn’t care, but whoever her roommate ends up being needs  to get a good first impression of her. What if they see the bass and think she’s just trying to look cool? She doesn’t play bass to look cool, she plays it because she’s good at it. Well, that and she actually enjoys it. That too.

Deciding that going back now would elicit questioning from her mother and maybe-parent, she picks up the black and red bass guitar and its stand before walking back downstairs.

“Maybe the dresser will be tall enough for me to put these inside of it.”

As she steps out onto the porch, meeting Eda and Camila once again, she pauses. “Wait, this isn’t gonna fit in my car at this point.

Camila laughs. “Mija, it’ll fit in the backseat of my  car. We’ll just have to move the boxes from there to your front seat.” Luz raises an eyebrow.

“Where am I gonna put my backpack full of notebooks then?”

“…do you have any room in your trunk?” Camila asks after a second. She knows what Luz is about to say to that idea.

“There’s approximately 500 articles of clothing and 100 bottles of cleaning products currently occupying that space. Don’t think much else is gonna fit in there.”

Camila’s prediction is correct, but Luz stops her before she can offer another dead-end suggestion. “I’ll put it in my front seat, rest it against my backpack. It’s better than wasting more time rearranging this Tetris puzzle of a mess.”

Camila barely has any idea what her daughter means by this, but Eda seems to get it and responds with a snort. Luz opens the front passenger door of her car and slowly maneuvers the bass into place. It’s a tight fit and she isn’t entirely sure placing an expensive bass guitar that Camila must've spent years saving for into such a tiny car is something she’s alright with, but seeing as her options are limited, she pushes those worries aside for now.

With everything packed up and ready to go, Luz motions to the others to get in their own car. They lock the door, step off the porch, and once again wrap Luz in a hug before getting into Camila’s decently-sized hatchback. Luz follows suit, situating herself inside the dark interior of her much older blue Civic. It’s a two-hour drive to Bonesborough, and thankfully the car’s CD tray is well-stocked with Luz’ favorite music. Anything to make the trip go down smoother.

She looks back over at the house she grew up in. It’s cozy, like all the houses in Gravesfield appear to be, at least from Luz’ assessment. It’s been with Luz through every school she’s gone to and left, through all the elementary and middle school friendships she tried to make work, through every fight she had with her mother that ended in half-hearted apologies between people who didn’t understand each other well enough. It’s always been here for her when she had nowhere else to go. It’s her escape, her safe space. And now she’s leaving it so soon?

To anyone but Luz, it makes absolutely no sense.

It’s not that she necessarily wants  to leave; she made the decision to attend Hexside with her friends what feels like ages ago, and she isn’t going to go back on that now. This matters far too much for her to turn away from the opportunity.

Luz flashes her lights to Camila, indicating she’s ready to go. As she turns up her music, Luz ignores the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty welling up inside her. She just has to make it through the first week or so. After that, everything will be fine.

As a few drops of rain begin to fall, both cars drive away from the quaint white house.

~~~~

*Begin Track 01: Moving Out*

The ride is smooth. The music Luz has blasting through her speakers calms her nerves a bit, though her mind is still racing. It’s probably for the best that she hasn’t brought much of her noisier, rougher music, instead settling on a bunch of calmer EPs from smaller bands Luz found only though late-night YouTube ventures. She doesn’t really feel like rocking out like she’s in the front row of a heavy metal concert, she just wants to keep herself calm and collected as she follows Camila down the exceedingly-curvy highway.

Eventually they stop for breakfast at a diner some miles outside Gravesfield. It’s sort of tradition at this point for them to stop here when heading in this direction. Today, though, it’s tough for Luz to work up the appetite to eat the food she’s reluctantly decided to order. She doesn’t eat breakfast on a good day; stomaching food is definitely not on her list of hidden talents right now.

Camila goes to speak at some point. Eda silently nudges her elbow, and she restrains herself.

The entire time, Luz wishes time would both speed up and stop completely at the same time. Having to move through what feels like the temporal equivalent of molasses really isn’t helping her nonexistent appetite. She feels like she could vomit, despite not having anything in her system.

The food arrives. It’s standard diner fare: bacon, sunny-side-up eggs, homefries, and wheat toast, all cooked to varying degrees of “done”. Something about it today feels really comfy though. The smell almost instantly inspires her appetite to return. Before she knows it, she’s not thinking of the future, save for deciding what to take a bite of next. Small potatoes.

~~~~

Soon enough they’re back on the road. The two-car caravan hits traffic a few times, but Luz doesn’t mind. It’s delaying the inevitable, sure, but that extra time to herself is almost  pleasant.

The traffic breaks, and after some more time they stop at a rest area for drinks and to use the restroom. The drizzle has stopped, so Luz takes the opportunity to get some fresh air; refrigerant from a car’s vents is only a substitute for a real late-summer breeze. It’s pretty chilly all things considered, odd even for Connecticut in late August. Her dark green bomber jacket does more than enough to counteract the chill the wind occasionally leaves on her face. Eda and Camila return with water bottles and candy bars. Luz unwraps the chocolate they picked out for her and slowly eats it as she looks around the rest area.

Save for the small clearing next to the sidewalk, the small restroom and vending machine building, and the highway, there’s nothing but trees as far as the eye can see. They’re tall and green, occasionally swaying when the wind hits them. If she wasn’t on her way to college, Luz could easily spend an entire afternoon here doodling or listening to music. It’s got that perfect “park in the middle of nowhere” vibe that’s perfect for just taking in the scenery.

Her meandering is cut short when Camila and Eda remind Luz of their “strict” schedule. After a swig of water, they clamber back into the cars and without missing a beat, they’re back on the highway again.

~~~~

Another hour or so in, they hit another traffic jam, this one reducing their pace to a crawl. Luz pops open the water bottle and takes a short drink while tapping her finger to the rhythm of the song that’s playing.

She finds herself thinking about her family. Her relationship with Camila has never been perfect since her father passed, but after the summer camp incident, they were at the least trying to patch things up with one another. They’d mostly succeeded, no doubt thanks to the friends Luz met at summer camp and Camila’s new colleague. And said colleague’s foxy sister.

Even then, Luz finds it hard to fully trust her mother. Camila sent her away, seemingly without a second thought, after defending her so many times up to that point. Things had gotten better between them, sure, but earning Luz’ trust back took a lot  of time and effort.

So when Luz hastily announced she wanted to study at Hexside, a college three hours away from Gravesfield, the last reaction she expected to get from Camila was excitement. She put so much into trying to regain Luz’ trust after the camp incident, but now she was content to let Luz go off on her own, just like that? The idea that her mother was so willing to let her leave their house after all the time they spent reconnecting nearly shattered Luz’ trust in her again.

Feeling a tinge resentful, Luz quickly pushes these thoughts away.

Instead, her thoughts fall on to her father. She doesn’t really think about him much anymore. He’s been gone for so long that to Luz, he’s really just the man who stuck her with this hyperfixation on all things magical and witchy and demonic. Any time she’s feeling depressed or dejected, she can fall back into that mystical fantasy world and escape whatever’s eating at her. She has her father to thank for that, but feels she also has him to blame for her lack of friends.

That obsession stopped her from forming meaningful friendships when any candidates inevitably grew tired of hearing about Azura lore and theories and ships. In that way, her father had unintentionally doomed her to school years spent sitting alone at lunch and wordlessly doodling in her sketchbook. Something about that hurt worse than the fact he wasn’t around to see it.

Realizing that had greatly changed how Luz viewed her father. In a way, he kept her safe and happy when she needed it, but it also meant she needed to hide that part of herself for the sake of being included. Nothing hurt worse than having to play pretend like that.

But now she has friends by her side and a future ahead of her at Hexside. She spent so long studying for the entrance exam and only barely passed. Her friends helped her study, keeping her going whenever she felt like giving up. She never really knew how to repay them for that, but they seemed content just helping out. She wouldn’t trade them for the world.

She also hopes college will be a fresh start for her. It’s the perfect chance to make good first impressions and find more cool people to hang around with. Sure, there’s also an education to keep in check, but there’s so much else to do and see and experience  on top of that. It’s scary, but being (mostly) on her own is invigorating in its own way.

Maybe, just maybe, she’ll find other weirdos who are just as invested in Azura lore and theories and ships as she is. She may have been the outcast in elementary and middle and high school for her obsession, but everyone keeps telling her college is “different”, so who knows?

There’s the chance she could get burned again as well. It’s happened numerous times before, but dealing with the aftermath never gets any easier. Trust is such a valuable commodity anymore, and Luz knows that her supply gets lower with each failed friendship.

What would she do if, god forbid, her roommate ends up hating her? She needs  to make a good first impression, for the sake of her own self-worth. There’s no room for failure this time, the person she’s going to be living with needs to at least tolerate her. If that means pushing her hyperfixation aside for a few more years, then so be it.

The traffic begins to break. Once again swiftly pushing her anxieties down, Luz continues tapping along with the music as she drives towards her new home.

Notes:

hi!!! im mackenzie and this is my first time writing something like this. it's also my first time uploading anything that i've written to the internet for people to hopefully read so bear with me if there's any weirdness or anything yknow. anyway i hope you like it and want to see more! because i have 20 chapters of this shit planned lmao

addendum: so WOW uh ok this ended up being a LOT longer than i anticipated. i wanted to end this chapter with luz moving into the dorm and meeting her roommate (wonder who it could be lmao) but we’re sitting at just over 3K words right now and uh. that’s a lot i think. so! chapter two will be that! eventually. ch2 is plotted out and rough-drafted but it sucks and i need to rewrite it. should be up in the next week or so!!! <3

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Chapter 2: home

Summary:

Luz drifts through orientation and finally moves into her dorm.

Notes:

drinking a cup of hot tea to soothe your throat while writing owlshow fanfic is self-care; chapter betaread by nanodrivelive

Track 02: Home by Vacations

*Begin Track 02: Home (set to loop)*

Time passes quickly once they’re back up to speed. The highway eventually drops them off on a smaller state road that winds through small towns every few miles or so, with large industries sporadically pumping pollutants into the crisp Connecticut countryside. It’s a pleasant drive, bookended with the sight of a moderately-sized commercial hub coming into focus. She can see a department store in the distance, and elevated signs for fast food places above them.

Luz takes note of a gas station just over the hill they’re travelling up as the caravan stops in front of a light. A bright hand-painted sign denotes the next right turn as the one they want to take. The light changes, steering wheels turn, and they make their way up another hill. Luz silently thanks herself for buying new tires before they left Gravesfield.

They crest this second hill and make their way down the other side, past an elevated parking lot and an abandoned church. Just after this sits the student dorm buildings, neatly arranged one after the other with small parking lots sitting between them, and a flower-laden courtyard out front. Luz smiles, knowing at least one of her friends will be right at home among the colorful flora.

They reach the bottom of the hill, and Luz spots a much larger parking lot sitting beneath them. It’s totally empty, however, so something tells Luz this isn’t where they’re supposed to park. Sure enough, another bunch of signs direct them to make two right turns in quick succession, leading the party up a steep road parallel to the one they just came down.

Before Luz has time to question the asinine design of this place, she’s attempting to get her tiny, way-overloaded car up the incline. She breathes a sigh of relief when they somehow make it up in one piece. The elevated lot from before is packed with cars, no doubt those of other families, but a few more signs direct them to the adjacent lot which has more than enough space for them.

They find a few spots towards the middle of the lot and carefully slot their cars into place. As to be expected by now, a large sign directs them down the steps towards the center of campus. The current string of thoughts bounding through Luz’ head range from comments about the efficacy of building a school on the side of a hill to why the parking lots are at either the top or bottom of said hill instead of some point in-between.

They pass by a large brick building neatly labelled with a French-sounding name Luz can’t pronounce. She remembers that it houses some lecture halls, science labs, and most of the professors’ offices. She smirks a bit, silently elated that she remembered this amongst all the other things she’d memorized. This high quickly fades when she sees a girl waving at them, holding bundles of yellow and blue folders.

“Hi, welcome to Hexside’s in-person orientation event! You’ll want to head into the Learning Center behind me, the first meeting is in the cafeteria. Oh, take a folder too!”

The pleasant voice sounds familiar. She steps out from behind her mother and not-yet-parent to see who it is; she’s greeted by a taller girl wearing a garish yellow-and-blue sweater with the school’s name proudly printed on the chest. She’s at least a year older than Luz by the looks of it, since it’s unlikely a freshman would be part of the welcome wagon.

Luz walks up to her and grabs a folder, also splattered with yellow and blue. She raises an eyebrow at the choice of colors but nods and mutters “Thank you.” as she walks away. She can’t quite place the girl’s name but nevertheless feels like she knows her.

Camila and Eda also thank the girl for the folder before they catch up to Luz, who’s almost inside the “Learning Center” already. The two older women exchange a look when they see Luz pull out her phone, tapping it a few times before visibly deflating and putting it back in one of her jeans’ pockets. Luz waits for them to reach her before holding the door for them.

Immediately once they step inside, the smell of freshly-pressed paninis and warm chocolate chip cookies hits Luz in the face, and she’s suddenly hungry again. “Hopefully that food is for us…” she thinks, as the trio walks into the cafeteria. It’s been outfitted as a miniature auditorium, with a pull-down projector backdrop situated in front of numerous round tables lined with plastic chairs. Towards the back, there’s a few plush couches, with a huge window overlooking the lower portion of the campus standing tall behind them.

To her dismay, her chaperones motion towards one of the tables towards the middle of the cafeteria. Groaning silently, Luz spots the source of the delicious smells: a small café sitting to their left, stocked with what Luz recognizes as a convenience-store-style drink cooler and what looks like a full salad bar. At least the food looks good; that’s the least she could ask for if she’s gonna be living here for the foreseeable future.

Luz bounces her right leg under the table as she waits for the presentation to start. More families fill in the space around them, though to her relief none of them make a beeline for the few open seats left at the Noceda table. Unfortunately, Luz recognizes a few of them: a girl with pink hair being led by two other middle-aged women, a shorter kid who looks a few years too young to be in college walking behind someone a few years too young to be his father, and…

“… wait a second, was that…“

A slightly-hunched-over man with long, dark hair and a bowtie under his collar steps up to the podium in front of the projector backdrop while Luz questions what she saw. A few minutes pass before the man, supposedly the campus’ chancellor, starts speaking, families still on their way to the adjacent tables. Yawning for a good five seconds, Luz slowly gets lost in her own random thoughts as the man repeats information she already knows.

She’s always had trouble paying attention during monologues like these. Most of the time she’d just ask her friends to re-cap everything that was said in a much simpler, less wordy summary. They’re always happy to indulge her, but they’re not here right now.

The chancellor finishes up the first part of the speech by dismissing them to lunch. No one wastes any time taking some paninis and chips and cookies from the café before thoroughly enjoying them. Luz wonders if the food will always be this good, or if today is just a one-off special occasion. While they’re eating, the chancellor talks some more; Luz refuses to pay attention.

She does hear one part of the ending of the chancellor’s speech, though. Something about not “riding in the carts”, spoken in a tone that tells Luz that the chancellor doesn’t believe he has to clarify that. Luz giggles quietly to herself, wondering what kind of person could be responsible for such a rule being introduced.

She soon finishes her lunch and swiftly pulls out her phone again. Unlocking it reveals a photo of her and her two best friends standing in front of the black backdrop of a stage. The concert the three of them saw together over the summer is another of Luz’ cherished memories of her time with them. The lack of any messages from them yet leads her to put her phone away again.

Luz looks over at her mother and not-yet-parent and motions towards the door at the far end of the cafeteria. Her guardians both nod, almost in unison, and gather their trash before standing up. Luz does the same, stretching her long arms and legs as best she can manage. She offers to take Camila and Eda’s garbage, and promptly drops them in the trashcan before following them out of the cafeteria. She doesn’t look at any of the other families, hoping they’re not looking at her either.

The walk back up to the car is quiet. A few other families have followed them out, but Luz doesn’t pay attention to their conversations like she normally would. The next few hours will be much like her morning, consisting of transferring a load of “necessities” from one spot to another. Fun.

The three make it back up the steps to the lot and swiftly locate their cars. Luz silently worries about the logistics of having to move two cars down to the housing lot, but it’s too late to go back on that now, unless she wants to somehow bring a cart up and down that hill they drove up.

They drive back down the hill and park next to each other in the student lot. They’re not the first ones there, but they’re early enough that they’re at least parked near the building Luz is in. Luz takes the key out of the ignition and takes a second to breathe before stepping out of the car again. Camila gives her a thumbs-up, and Luz notices Eda running straight to the line of carts standing on the sidewalk near the door.

When Eda returns with one, Luz takes note of the duct tape that’s no-doubt keeping a few holes in the fabric patched-up and frowns. Questioning why a school as renowned as Hexside would have such dingy carts for its students to use on move-in day, Luz slowly lifts her computer tower out of the backseat. She follows by opening the trunk and dumping the duffel bags of clothes around it to keep the tower “secure”.

It takes a good ten minutes for Luz to position everything properly for transport. Unfortunately, the size of the cart combined with the amount of stuff  still left in Camila’s car means they have to make a second trip after they unload the cart in Luz’ room. She wonders if the room itself will even be big enough to store all the boxes most of her stuff is still in.

Luz lock’s up her car and attempts to push the cart to the building’s entrance. It’s almost  too heavy for her to move on her own, so Camila and Eda flank it on either side. Luz ignores any looks she’s not actually receiving from the other people moving in as they make it inside.

To her surprise, the elevator is right there at the entrance. Nothing could be a grander sight, considering her room is on the third floor for whatever reason. Her friends are both on the second floor, and though she obviously doesn’t know where anyone else is living, something tells her not many others are sharing her floor with her.

Maybe it’ll be quiet enough for her to blast music without anyone getting upset… well, at least no one on her floor. “Anyone below her would have to actually travel up a floor to yell at me!”  she reasons. The chances they’d either be in their dorm at all for most of the day unlike her, or even awake enough to do it, are low enough that the prospect perks her up a bit.

Upon cramming herself, Camila, Eda, and the cart into the elevator that’s barely big enough for the cart alone, they travel up to the third floor and down the hall to Luz’ room. It’s at the very end of the hall, something Luz finds odd until they open the door with the key safely attached to her key ring.

The sight of what could generously be called a small apartment greets them.

“What the… it’s got a full counter? And cupboards? And  an oven? Are we sure this is the right room???” Luz asks in astonishment as they slowly walk inside.

Camila pulls out her phone and takes a minute to open the school’s own personal information app to find out. “According to this, we’re in the right place. Room 319, just like it says.” Camila hands the phone to Luz so she can see for herself. She rushes back to the door and switches between glaring at the phone and the metal numbers nailed above a whiteboard on the door.

How in the hell did she score a deluxe room like this??? She didn’t pay for one, at least she’s 99% sure she didn’t. Camila definitely  would have called someone if she had; they can’t afford half of what this room is apparently offering them.

Eda’s snort-laugh breaks the silence. “Well kiddo, looks like you’ll be living the good life here. Makes me kinda jealous that I don’t have all this at Cami’s place.” Camila offers a friendly glare in return.

“No, I mean… this is great and all, but… I don’t know, maybe we should call the housing office and ask them if there was a mix up, w-we didn’t pay for this and it wouldn’t be right if we moved in and left all my stuff here and the-“

Her anxious rambling is cut short when Camila and Eda both place a hand on her back. Camila’s voice is gentle and soothing enough to calm Luz down a bit. “Don’t worry cariño, I’ll call them and confirm for real. We have enough time.”

Luz hesitates before nodding without another word. Camila does good on her word and quickly dials the housing office. The voice of a person clearly too tired to be dealing with something like this states that, yes, this is Luz’ room, and no, it’s not a mistake. Apparently her roommate paid for their share of this room without someone else picking up the other half, so Luz was “upgraded” to make sure the room wasn’t being occupied by just one person. How… lucky?

The entire situations feels off now. Something about this is suspicious, but Luz doesn’t know what. Camila’s reminder that they only have so much time to unpack everything snaps Luz out of her spiraling again, and all three work together to unload the cart before travelling back for the rest.

When they return, the three of them get to work actually unpacking all the boxes from Camila’s car. There’s a desk lamp, a small radio with a connection for her phone, a full set of bed sheets with a comforter, a weighted blanket, another desk lamp that Luz swears is broken, a box fan in case the AC isn’t doing enough work, multiple surge protectors (much to Luz’ relief), a small wooden dresser barely big enough for her textbooks, and even a small set of tools in case something needs to be tightened or repaired.

*bzzt bzzt*

Luz stops when she feels her phone vibrate. Not missing a beat, she pulls it out and reads the notification plastered on her screen. Just another “deal offer” from a coffee shop chain she only visits once a month or so, hardly the first thing she wanted to see. Without really realizing it, she ends up sitting down on the undecorated bed, mindlessly scrolling through chat logs as she waits for something to happen.

She soon realizes it’s been about fifteen minutes since she’s moved from the bed. Her mother and not-parent have been placing items throughout the room without her, and haven’t asked her to help. “Why would they just let me sit here and do nothing?”  she asks herself as they continue to work. Another notification, this time from one of her social media apps, distracts her again.

It feels like the barely any time has passed as her guardians unpack the last few items for the dorm: a small hamper for dirty clothes, and a random assortment of silverware and metal straws. They fit neatly in one of the drawers under the counter, and Luz once again attempts to take in the fact she has practically everything she needs to actually cook  here. Maybe she can run to the store across the way and grab some plates and knives later this weekend.

She puts her phone away and gets up just in time to see Camila and Eda high-five each other once everything  is out of the carts.

The two of them look over at Luz and smile. Both give her a thumbs-up, this time in perfect  unison with one another. They chuckle upon realizing this, and Luz walks over to them before quietly saying “Thank you. I should’ve been helping you though, I-I got distracted…”

Camila’s smile grows as she pulls Luz into a tight hug. “Don’t worry about it, bebe. And you don’t have to thank us, we’re here to help you, and that includes unpacking your things.”

Eda lets out another snort-laugh. “You’re so mushy  Cami, don’t you think Luz deserves to breathe in the oxygen she’s gonna be draining for the next few ye-“ she stumbles and stops when Camila effortlessly drags her into the hug as well. Relenting, she embraces them both.

It’s nice. “This is nice.”  Luz thinks. When it ends, though, she feels another tinge of resent.

Camila kisses her forehead and checks her phone. “Oh dear! It’s nearly 2, Eda and I should get going. I know you’ll probably want to be with your friends for dinner, but we’ll meet you for lunch tomorrow, okay? Text or call either of us if you need anything.”

Luz nods with a blank expression plastered on her face. This is it, she’s officially on her own now.

Eda shoots a finger gun at Luz. “Perk up kiddo, I hear there’s an amazing  buffet just down the road. They have a salad bar and everything! I, for one, can’t wait to be silently judged for having more toppings than lettuce.”

Luz lets out a small chuckle in response. “Right, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I wanna start moving the furniture before my rich roommate gets here.”

Both her mother and probably-parent nod and wave as they leave Luz to her devices. It’s up to Luz to move the furniture, including a pretty nice wooden desk for her computer and the barren bed strangely placed in the middle of the room, into place as she sees fit. They’re careful not to disturb the other pieces of furniture that her room-

… her roommate. It’s a bit past 2pm now and she still hasn’t so much as seen  her roommate. Maybe they got caught up talking to another family at lunch? Either way, she’s willing to bet she doesn’t have much time left to make the room look presentable before they get here.

She doesn’t waste any time moving the dresser next to the door before looking at the bed and computer desk. “Who puts a bed in the middle of the room like this?”  she ponders as she shoves it into the corner. She places the hamper at the foot of it, then shuffles the computer desk against the wall where the bed was. It’s…well it’s as close to perfect as she’s gonna get, and that’s okay.

She looks up at the clock. All that took her half an hour. Most of it was just planning where everything was going to go before actually doing  it, and… wait.

“Where’s the heck is my roommate…?”

Luz walks over to the door and peeks out into the hall. There’s a few people moving in on the other side of the central elevator, but no one else on her side. No sign of her roommate at all.

Despite how weird she thinks it is, she once again goes back to unpacking. She places the lamp and radio neatly on the tiny textbook dresser next to her bed, turning it into a nightstand of sorts. Less graceful is how she throws all her toiletries and the toolkit onto the top shelf of the large dresser. It’s not like it really matters how neat it is, ‘cause no one’s gonna see it but her.

By 3pm, she’s finished unpacking. Everything from each of the boxes and her backpack of video game systems has at the very least been situated somewhere that’s not their original containers. She’ll worry about getting rid of the cardboard boxes later; despite feeling like she hasn’t done much, she can tell she’s getting tired all of a sudden. Maybe she’s earned a little nap…

----

She wakes up sometime around 5pm to her phone buzzing on her chest. Her friends have been messaging her for the past hour or so asking where she is and how she’s doing. Despite having waited all day to hear from them, she unceremoniously types out a response that could be best summed up as “sorry i was distracted” and gets up. She grabs her keys from the desk before-

*knock, knock, knock*

… she hears something at the door. Taking a moment to collect herself, she slowly walks towards it. She moves some stray hairs out of her face, wanting to look at least somewhat  presentable for the person who has to put up with her for at least eight months.

She takes a deep breath before cracking the door open. What greets her is the image of a girl a few inches shorter than her, with mint-green hair draped over an auburn undercut. She’s wearing a dark maroon hoodie and black leggings with tears on the knees. The only thing she has with her is a cardboard box covered in tape. It takes Luz a second to process what she’s seeing, but before she can respond, the image solemnly mumbles something.

“Hey, Noceda. It’s…been a while, huh?”

…

“Of course.”

Notes:

so this was gonna be part of chapter 1 but before I knew it that chapter was over 3K words and idk that felt like a lot! so here’s the rest of chapter one but its chapter two now! and now I CAN FINALLY GET TO THE SHIT I ACTUALLY WANT TO WRITE AUGH. fr though i am so sorry these first two chapters are so goddamn exposition-y and boring, i tried my best to shorten them but i wanted to get luz' characterization down pat before going a lot further. anyway! see you for chapter 3 coming sometime before next week (provided this cold doesnt kill me blegh)

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Chapter 3: one-sided love

Summary:

The roommate moves in, so Luz decides to spend the majority of the evening elsewhere.

Notes:

hi I cought the bovid right before I started this chapter so I apologize if the writings a bit off but hopefully its still pretty good. also this one wasn’t betaread. double whammy haha

Track 03: One Sided Love by my fellow chiptuner weeppiko

*Begin Track 03: One Sided Love (set to loop)*

Luz eyes her roommate with a blend of suspicion and confusion. In a way, she really  should’ve seen this coming; the flash of green she thought she saw in the café was the first clue that one of her many failed friendships was attending Hexside too, but the pricey room conveniently  given to Luz of all people should’ve slapped her in the face immediately.

It takes her a moment to speak, and when she does, her voice is cold and distant.

“Still she/her, yeah?”

Amity mumbles “… yeah.” as a response in an uncharacteristically-small voice.

“Well, who am I to stop you?” Luz mutters as she holds the door open for the other girl. Amity nods silently and steps inside, barely looking up from the floor as she gently places the box on the unoccupied bed. Luz lets the door close by itself and walks back towards her own bed. She grabs her phone that she definitely didn’t forget to pick up a few moments ago, and turns to Amity.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Then we’ll talk about… this.” She doesn’t stop herself from sounding annoyed, but unlike in times previous, Amity seems to… refuse  to fight back?

“… alright. I’ll get settled in.” Amity’s voice is entirely flat and neutral when she responds to Luz, who doesn’t so much as grunt in acknowledgement as she leaves the dorm.

----

Luz tugs at her unzipped jacket as she walks towards the cafeteria. “Just what the heck is going on here?”  she ponders to herself. Either this is some extremely  bad luck or Amity planned this from the start.

But the housing office wouldn’t lie to her, would they? As much as she doesn’t want to believe it, it’s probably just a total coincidence. Yeah.

She reaches the cafeteria and forgets all about her roommate when she sees her best friends sitting at one of the tables. Usually it’d be a bit early for Luz to be eating dinner, but she’s certainly not going to tell them  to wait another two hours for her schedule to be met.

They wave excitedly when they see her. Luz walks over to them, occasionally eyeing the other people inhabiting the cafeteria. It feels weird not being absolutely ecstatic when they both pull her into a hug, but to be fair she did  just have her entire mood stepped on a few minutes ago.

Willow and Gus let go of her and take a step back, clearly having picked up on Luz’ sour mood.

“You doin’ alright Luz?” Gus asks in his typical sweet voice.

“Yeah, you look a bit upset… who do I have to beat up?” Willow follows with, smiling devilishly.

This forces a small laugh from Luz. “No one, no one. At least not yet. We’ll talk about it after we eat, ok?”

Her friends nod and the three waltz over to the café. The smell of pressed sandwiches left over from lunch raises Luz’ mood a little, and soon the group is talking and joking as always.

Willow and Gus talk about their adventures over the last summer. Luz is content to simply listen to her friends explain how Gus managed to get stuck in a row of monkey bars, or how Willow nearly electrocuted herself while trying to build a gaming computer. She doesn’t have any interesting stories to add to their stockpile, so she just wordlessly pays attention to her friends.

“So, Luz! Did you meet your roommate yet?” Gus asks innocently.

“Aw crud. Of all the questions…”

Luz avoids the waiting looks of her companions and takes a few seconds to formulate an answer that doesn’t sound too biting.

“Yeah… I did. She’s, uh… not what I expected…”

Gus tilts his head slightly. Luz can tell her friend is searching for the real meaning behind those vague words, but she trails off regardless.

Willow would be the first to break the silence. “You don’t like her, huh?”

The reply snaps Luz back to the conversation with a barely-noticeable jump. “You could say that.” The tone in her voice betrays her attempt to remain civil. She backpedals upon realizing this.

“Look, it’s… complicated.”

“That  is the sentence of all time.” Gus jokes, attempting to brighten the mood. It works, at first, and Luz lets out a small laugh.

“Not my fault your guys’ native language is so stupidly complicated.” Luz throws back. The small gesture really does a lot to improve her mood, but the overarching story lingers.

“Everything happened all at once.” Luz continues. “I fell asleep after unpacking, then I woke up to all your guys’ texts. Just when I was getting up to leave, she  arrived, and I sorta panicked. We barely spoke ten words to one another, then I left, and I didn’t even have time to process it, and-“

“Luz.” Willow interrupts, placing her hand on top of her friend’s. “You’re overwhelmed. It sounds like a lot  happened today. If it’s too much right now, we can talk about it later, provided that’s alright with you.”

Luz breaks out of her anxious ramble when she hears Willow’s soothing voice and feels their hands connect. It helps ground her as she takes a minute to regain her composure.

“… yeah, yeah, that’d be good. I have a lot on my plate right now. I’ll tell you both about it after we finish eating.” Luz agrees. Her friends always know just what to say to calm her down.

Dinner continues with a decrease in conversation as the early evening sun envelops the cafeteria in a dazzling orange light. Other students shuffle in and out, some staying to eat while others grab an item or two and leave. Willow and Gus share a glance with each other when they get close to finishing their meals.

“How about you come back to our dorm with us for a game night?” Gus proposes merrily.

Luz is confused more than anything. “Don’t you guys live, like, ten minutes from this place?”

Willow and Gus both nod in response. Luz remains in the dark.

“And despite that, you both shelled out the cash for a dorm? Instead of just living at home?”

Her friends nod again. Luz waits for either of them to speak up.

Willow lets out a giggle. “Gustopher and I,” she says gleefully as she ruffles his hair, “figured that it’d be cool to live on campus now rather than waiting, so we scooped up a co-ed dorm as soon as applications opened!”

“That and we both figured you might want somewhere to go in case you ended up hating your roommate.” Gus adds, revealing their true hand.

“I don’t hate  her-“ Luz cuts herself off, feeling herself getting defensive. She pauses for a sec to catch up and belatedly realizes what her friends did for her. “… wait, don’t tell me I  was your main reason for getting a dorm here. You didn’t have to do that for me.”

Gus shakes his head, rejecting Luz’ notion. “We agreed we wanted to live on campus for multiple reasons, Luz. It’s a more expensive, sure, but aside from just getting the full college experience, which we believe includes living on campus if you can, we also wanted to be able to spend more time with you. It’s a win for all of us, right?”

Luz stares at her friends, half in disbelief and half in admiration. It’s definitely not unlike them to just be there  for her, but living closer to her being one of their reasons for spending the money on a dorm is on a whole different level than listening to her vent about school or indulging her in a game of Uno online. The realization hits her like a truck, and if she wasn’t currently sitting across from them at a table, she’d be wrangling them into a tight hug.

“That’s… you don’t know how much I appreciate you doing that for me. Thank you…” she manages to mumble out. Her friends smile back as warmly as the sunlight outside.

The three finish off their meals in due time and head out of the cafeteria. Despite not having given a solid answer, Luz instinctively follows her friends back to their dorm on the floor below hers, feeling a wave of excitement for the night to come. Her talk  with Amity can wait. For now, hanging out with her best friends takes precedent on her internal schedule.

As soon as they crowd into the much-smaller-than-Luz’-apartment-equivalent-thing  dorm, the sight of framed Broadway show posters and freshly-potted herbs serve as an interesting contrast to the few spots of uncovered off-white walls. Though she’s never seen either of their bedrooms, this amalgamation of their main interests gives her a pretty good idea of what they must be like.

The sight for sore eyes is accompanied by the smell of lavender wafting throughout the space. It’s a bit… strong for her liking, but with each passing moment it becomes less prominent.

Gus nearly bounces over to the farther of the two beds, which is covered in various lengths of cables and wires. The blue blankets signify that it’s his.

“I’m almost done untangling this mess. After I finish, we’ll set up the TV and get our game on!” he exclaims as he plops down next to the nest of synthetic rubber.

Willow gives Luz a few more minutes to acclimate to the dorm. They both end up sitting on the short couch that Willow explains took quite the “magic trick” to get up here. Luz absorbs the surroundings, taking controlled, semi-deep breaths in a steady rhythm.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about my roommate yet.” She tosses the statement into the open, not exactly knowing how else to describe her current headspace to her friend.

“That’s alright.” Willow reassures her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know if I’ll be ready, or if I even can  be. She’s…” words escape her again as Willow places a hand on her shoulder. “… she’s someone I know. Someone I used to know, at least. I talked about her a few times to you guys before we…”

Willow raises an eyebrow. Luz has only had a few friends outside of their group, she knows that much, and Luz rarely talked about most of that small roster. One or two stuck out though, and it doesn’t exactly take Willow long to recognize who Luz is talking about.

“Is… is Amity Blight your roommate? Of all the possible candidates??”

Luz almost laughs. “Damn Willow, you picked up on that quick. But… yeah, it’s her.”

Gus makes his way back over, evidently having heard the conversation and deciding now is a good time to jump in. “You never told us what happened between you guys. Actually you never talked about her much at all. Just that you really didn’t like her.”

The innocence sitting in front of Gus’ voice is almost charming to Luz. It makes him come off a bit blunt, but Luz ends up appreciating his straight-forwardness more than anything. It helps her talk things through instead of keeping herself quiet, something she’s always working on.

“Yeah, never got around to that, huh?” Luz says as she switches from looking at her friends to looking at the floor. “It’s a really long story. Short of it is that we had a bit of a falling out halfway through junior year. We’d been friends since sophomore year, and if I wasn’t talking to you guys, I was probably off talking with her about Azura and whatnot.”

Luz doesn’t often mention Azura to her friends. All three of them have really  different primary interests, and while discussions about music or movies or games could last well into the night, ramblings about their specific hobbies usually garnered nods and “yeahs” rather than continued conversation.

Most of the time, just being listened to is enough for Luz, though. When she realizes she’s being listened to right then and there, she goes to bookend the story.

“Anyway some things were said and we ended up going our separate ways. We’d see each other in the halls or in class but we never spoke again after that. When senior year began, she must’ve switched to homeschooling or something, because I didn’t see her at all  that year.”

She’s intentionally keeping the plot vague. There’s a lot more detail to the story than she’s letting on, but reliving the actual memories of the fallout has put a dam in her brain that blocks her from getting too  specific. The dam is weakening, though, the more she thinks about her roommate.

Willow slowly runs her hand across Luz’ shoulder and upper back when she notices Luz start to close in on herself.

“I’m sorry Luz. If Gus and I had known, we cou-“

“Don’t sweat it.” Luz interrupts. “I wasn’t gonna dump all that on you guys.” This isn’t exactly true, considering the first thing she did after her then-final interaction with Amity was open up the groupchat her and her two then-online friends shared to ask for support. They were quick to oblige, but Luz gave them no specifics, and for now, it’s going to stay that way.

“It’s in the past. Or at least, it was  in the past. All of a sudden she’s just back  in my life, and I have literally no idea how we’re supposed to act going forward.”

“Have you talked to her at all yet?” Gus asks, his voice softer than before.

“Outside of that brief interaction we had when I woke up, no. I told her we’d talk when I got back, but now I’m here with you guys.” Luz looks up, switching between her two friends, hoping they pick up on the allusion of a request.

"If I’m being honest with myself… I really don’t feel like going back there tonight.”

Willow and Gus exchange glances. “Guess it’s a good thing we hauled this couch up here, huh Gus?" Willow asks knowingly.

Gus pumps his fist in the air. “Sleepover, aw yeah!!!”

Luz’ anxiety begins to slip away again. She removes her now-steady arms from her lap and motions for her friends to join in a hug. They oblige, and the three nearly melt into each other’s arms.

When the hug breaks, Gus quickly returns to his mess of cables. Willow offers to make Luz a cup of hot tea, which she accepts only after a generous portion of honey is stirred into it. Willow makes another cup for herself, adding a small spoonful of sugar and a small drip of bottled lemon juice from the mini-fridge under the microwave. Gus declines the offer in favor of a bottle of iced tea with a generous portion of lemon, once he’s done removing an AV cable from a bundle of power cords.

The three of them work together to get the television set up on Willow’s desk. They shift the couch so it faces the TV, the set the boxy purple console next to it. Gus takes on the role of cable management after Willow decides the amount of open ports on the back of the TV is better left to her more experienced friend.

A generous game of rock-paper-scissors follows, giving Gus the first pick of the evening. Willow and Luz jokingly roll their eyes when they see Gus holding up the latest Cosmic Frontier  tie-in game.

“This better not have any trivia in it, you and Luz always leave me for the wolves!” Willow complains. Gus remains unfazed, while Luz chuckles under her beath, knowing Willow is right.

“Lucky for you, there’s no trivia in this one! That won’t save you from an early grave though, just like Captain Avery in that one episode where the Blingons attempt to-“

Luz can’t help but vividly remember exactly which episode Gus is now summarizing. She spent so much time indulging her mom in reruns of that sci-fi show that she could practically recite some of the plots herself.

Gus gives them both their controllers, and quickly  runs through the tutorials. Willow and Luz attempt to get him to slow down, but Gus only goes faster, saying something about how it’s more fun if you learn the game on your own.

Despite their objections, he cheerfully loads up the first of a few open save files, and they select their characters. Gus naturally chooses Captain Avery, with Luz opting for Security Chief Quando, them being the closest to whom she’d call her favorite character. Willow takes a bit longer to make her mind up, settling on a tall woman in a green suit that Gus refers to as Serena Mardis.

The tutorials turn out to be sorely missed by the two players less familiar with the previous games in the series. Before they know it, a swarm of aliens is crowding around them, chipping away at their meager health bars and ill-timed dodge rolls. Gus takes everything in stride, confidently shooting the large insectoid creatures with his phaser pistol before they can rush him.

Luz eventually figures out she can toss an endless supply of “artificiahol” bottles at anything within a few feet of her.

“Luz, you know you can shapeshift too, right? Gus asks her.

“Oh, I can? Eh, throwing bottles is more fun. Y me está dando resultados.” she replies, a smile growing on her face as she takes on more of the insectoids.

Willow takes a bit longer to get her bearings. Luz and Gus gratefully take care of most of the enemies as she presses every button once, figuring out what they do before experimenting further. As the first few screens clear out, she finds it easier and easier to keep things from turning her into what she could swear looks like an ordinary lizard.

“There’s so many actions and moves, how do you keep track of it all Gus?” she wonders out-loud.

“You’ll get the hang of it. They really nailed down the actions and made them flow really nicely in this one, you’ll be pulling off combos in no time!” he answers.

More screens blur by as the three settle into their roles. Willow stays towards the back, shooting harmful mind-rays at a distance to counteract Serena’s total lack of melee options. Luz alternates between playing defense and offense, sometimes swooping in to keep Willow from getting hurt, and sometimes going toe-to-toe with the bugs like Gus. The proclaimed Captain of the team remains hard at work punching the insectoid scum, the opposing side’s wiry limbs unable to match the fury of a buff action hero like Avery.

With much of their hit points and a few lives each to spare (Willow only having lost one on the journey), the boss of the stage crashes down from the ceiling. Gus nearly falls off the couch.

“That’s Lieutenant Klayber!!” he exclaims, clearly surprised to see this character in this situation. “He’s been transformed into a… spider monster? Okay that’s a bit weird but also kinda sad, he was just  getting interesting in the show!”

Luz and Willow let out a few giggles. Despite the young fan’s unchanging expression of shock, the three fell the beast and each receives a level-up for their troubles.

They fall into a comfortable routine as the game continues. Gus is having the time of his life, constantly being taken aback by things he claims the show never portrayed. At one point, the characters accidentally contact a normally-hostile Maxulan from their home quadrant and end up working with him to create a portal back to Earth.

Luz seems unconvinced. “Wait, remind me again why this alien is helping us? I thought these guys were our enemies back home.” she asks, thoroughly lost.

“He’s not really  on our side, he’s just helping us because we remind him of his own family that he hasn’t seen in years. It’d make more sense if you’d watched the fifth movie.” Gus explains.

“You’ve invested way too much time into this series, Gustronomer.” Luz jokingly rebukes, fully aware that the same could be applied to her own hyperfixation.

Their portal works, only for the Maxulan to casually reveal his current date as being 100 years before the crew even departed Earth. Going back would undoubtedly destroy the timeline, and the gang can’t tell if the Maxulan knew this the entire time or not. The revelation threatens to kill Gus’ good mood, but Luz and Willow reassure him that they’ll keep going. It's an oddly deep plotline for the game Gus had mentioned was marketed as a spinoff.

Hours pass, and the three find themselves approaching the end of the game. They’re all decked out in snazzy yet sturdy gear, with Willow of all people having found a secret room loaded with silver-pressed luminum (cash, as Gus had simplified it to).

“How did you even spot that fake wall? It looks just like all the others!” Gus complains.

“I don’t know, perhaps it was instinct. Or the fact I’m the only person here with glasses.” Willow surmises.

Luz shakes her fist. “I always knew you were at an unfair advantage, Willow. I just haven’t been able to prove it until now.” The cheeky shrug Willow gives her in response causes Luz to ruffle her hair.

“Guys, guys, you can flirt later! We’re only two rooms of away from the final boss!” pleads Gus. Luz gently punches his arm and Willow reaches over her to pat Gus’ head in response.

Gus gently shoos them both off of him as runs through a quick summary of the later chapters of the show, including mentions of a super powerful alien called “The Guardian”. The three check their loadouts in preparation for the final battle.

Sure enough, as Luz and Willow had predicted, this final battle ends up being against the Guardian. When attempting to persuade it to help them instead of kill them fails, they resort to the next best option: beating the hell out of it. After what feels like ten minutes, the three reign triumphant, though the death of the Guardian means the crew has lost another potential shortcut home, at the cost of a crewmate too! It’s a surprisingly emotional story that even managed to get Willow invested by the time the somber credits rolled.

“That was… actually really fun?” Willow almost doesn’t sound convinced that she just spent five hours playing the same video game, enjoying it nearly the entire time.

“Of course it was, it’s Cosmic Frontier!!!”  responds an enthusiastic Gus. “How could you not  be totally in love with it?!”

“To be fair, if Willow had fun with it, then anyone could.” The slight smirk adorning Luz’ face elicits a playful scowl from Willow. Luz’ next attack, a stuck-out tongue, erodes Willow’s composure until the two are quietly laughing with one another.

With their mugs and bottle emptied some time ago, the three sit up on the couch, suddenly tuckered out as the caffeine and adrenaline wear off. Though none of them feel like actually moving at this point, Willow regretfully states that sleeping on the couch “won’t end well for any of us”. With the matter settled out of court, all three of them gingerly leave the couch’s warm cushions behind. Luz hesitates regardless.

“Listen, you guys, I really don’t want to intrude, but-”

“Don’t sweat it Luz!” Gus happily cuts her off. “I have some extra blankets in my bag, if you wanna take the couch for the night. We don’t mind, right Willow?”

The shortest of the three places her hands on her hips and cocks her head back in faux thought. A moment passes before she lowers her head and smiles. “No, of course we don’t mind. So long as the RA doesn’t find out we have an extra person living  here.”

Luz makes a face at her friend’s choice of wording. “I promise I won’t overstay my welcome. I just… don’t feel like facing Amity til tomorrow, that’s all.”

Willow waves her hand placatingly. “It’s totally fine Luz, I wasn’t being serious. We love having you here.”

Luz smiles genuinely and nods. “Thank you guys. Tonight was really fun.”

“Hell yeah it was!” Gus almost yells, as Willow motions for him to keep his voice down. Luz only now looks at the clock, noticing it’s just now passed 1am. Most of the other residents are probably asleep by now.

Luz yawns and grabs the extra blankets Gus offers to her. Willow, in turn, graciously offers Luz a second pillow to match the hideous  throw pillow Willow’s fathers insisted she bring with the couch. The combination of two distinctly different denominations of pillows won’t be the most  comfortable, but it’s good enough for Luz right now.

Willow and Gus change into their pajamas and settle into their respective beds. Luz, not having brought any with her, keeps her shirt and leggings on, but discards the bomber jacket on the floor next to the couch. She drapes one blanket over the couch cushions before dropping onto them and snuggling into the second blanket she pulls over her.

She silently curses herself for not bringing earbuds so she can listen to music. By the time she decides to bother Willow about whether she can play music from her phone itself, she notices both her friends are fast asleep ahead of her. Slightly upset but too comfortable to do anything about it, Luz slowly fades into the first restful sleep she’s had in a decent while.

Notes:

DAMN THIS CHAP IS 4.5K LOL REMEMBER WHEN I THOUGHT 3.5K WAS A LOT

but finally, actual fun stuff with the hexolios!!! I had SO MUCH FUN writing this chapter, I think it’s the best one so far and should be more indicative of what the balance of exposition and actual slice-of-life stuff should be more like this from now on. im still recovering from covid but im really hoping to have the next chapter out soon, like within another week. wonder what luz is gonna say to amity... eh im sure itll be fine

see ya soon for chapter four!

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Chapter 4: medieval

Summary:

Luz returns to the dorm, and she and Amity finally have their talk.

Notes:

nine days in and im still suffering from covid symptoms, anyway here’s some angst

Track 04: Medieval by Her’s

EDIT: over 600 views and 50 kudos in under two weeks??? that's insane!!! thank you all so much for reading my silly lil fanfic shenanigans <3

*No track playing*

She wakes up sometime mid-morning. There’s no sound or sunlight behind this, just a horridly-uneven sleep schedule that sometimes wakes her up at 6am and other times after noon. It’s a rude awakening, one accompanied by a sore throat and eyes that refuse to open.

Unable to will herself back to sleep, she opens her eyes to view the room surrounding her. At some point throughout the night, she ended up in a bed, something she’s grateful for but also thoroughly confused about. She definitely didn’t fall asleep here, as far as she remembers.

The blanket she covered herself with has ended up on half on the floor, no longer covering the upper portion of her body. This appears to be a blessing rather than a curse though, because it’s unnaturally warm in the room. Someone else must’ve fiddled with the AC controls. Fixing this requires that she leave the comfort of the bed, though.

With a groan and a vain attempt to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes, she kicks the remaining portion of the blanket off of her and gets to her feet. She’s not wearing pajamas, just the comfy leggings she put on after she unpacked yesterday. Her jacket rests in the middle of the room, having been messily discarded the night before. It remains too warm to wear it.

She trundles over to the thermostat on the wall. To her surprise, it reads a typical, comfortable 68^oF. Why in the world is she so warm then? She shuffles around for a second, only now realizing that her neck and underarms are slick with sweat.

In that moment, it all comes back to her. The nightmare, some small sips of cold water from one of the bottles in the fridge, and being gently placed into a bed by… someone else. She can’t remember who. It leaves an even worse taste in her mouth than the soreness can muster.

She grabs a towel from on top of the dresser and wipes her neck down, then tosses the towel in the hamper. The details of the nightmare are fuzzy, as dreams tend to be when you wake up unexpectedly, but certain images flash through her mind. Another girl, flashing multi-colored lights, a crowd of people…

Wanting to forget anything about that, she focuses on finding new clothes to wear. Her final choice ends up being a long-sleeve tee shirt with a pair of older pajama pants she didn’t think she’d be wearing this early into the school year (it’s still summer, after all). She’s not planning on going anywhere today, so there’s no reason to put on “real” clothes.

Her next stop is the instant coffee machine. Popping a single-serve cup of tea into the top and a pretty hefty mug under the drip, she collects her prescribed dose of caffeine and swirls a few drops of honey into it. Without lemon, it doesn’t taste the greatest, unfortunately, but in spite of her disappointment, she takes a few more sips, waiting for the energy to kick in.

It’s then that she realizes that she’s alone in the room.

The revelation upsets her. She almost feels like an intruder without any other inhabitants of the room present.

Once again, she pushes these thoughts aside. On one hand, the silence is uncomfortable, but it also means she has time to herself to think about what’s going to inevitably happen later today.

They haven’t spoken in years at this point. Their only interaction so far has been calloused and unpleasant. What could she possibly say to her now? They’re going to be living together, at least in some capacity based on the last night, so they’ll have to at least act civil. Something about “civil” sounding like the most positive outcome wrecks her heart in a way she can’t put into words.

Things weren’t meant to end up like this. It was so much simpler when they were friends, complaining about boring and unfeeling teachers on weeknights and rambling about Azura ‘til the sun came up on weekends. Those memories will always be pleasant, at least. It’d have been a good way to leave things, remembering the good instead of the bad.

The hot tea doesn’t do much to cool her off, but it does send a nice warm feeling throughout her midsection. Begrudgingly, she lowers the thermostat to 64^oF, vowing to change it back before anyone else notices.

Mug soon empty, she places it next to the coffee machine. She sits back down on the bed, taking note of the dreary grey sky outside the window. Normally she’d enjoy the prospect of raindrops lightly tapping against the windows, but right now it feels like the noise is making it harder to think.

What is she gonna say to the other girl when she gets back? She could apologize… for everything, really. For the fact they haven’t talked in so long, for not making an effort to reach out years ago. The chances of the other girl accepting this supposed apology are slim to none though, of course.

Does she really have to do this? Maybe she could run to the housing office and ask for a room transfer. It’s the easy way out, sure, but the idea of facing what happened between them right here and right now is almost enough to force the coffee up out of her system.

She slowly attempts to steady her breathing. Maybe they can just coexist without talking to one another? Although the silent treatment isn’t ideal, it would be easy. At least, it’d be easier than most other options.

With that thought, though, she finds herself running in circles, repeating these alternative options to herself in the hopes that one of them will make the decision for her.

Her breathing gets erratic again. She knows the best thing to do is talk the entire thing out, settle their differences and move on. They both know how they feel about each other, right? If anything, they know exactly  how they feel about one another, since they’ve had so much time to reflect. That’s the one good thing about being apart for so long: her thoughts are seasoned and familiar.

She shuffles towards the headboard of the bed, adjusting herself until the correct horizontal position is achieved. She steadies her head against the board with her upper back on the pillows, her body somewhere between sitting upright and laying down. It’s an oddly comfortable position for all but her neck, which has to bend at an almost right angle to keep her head level while it’s pressed forwards by the board.

There are some nights where she has  to sit like this to get to sleep. It’s an unfortunate habit she picked up some time after the split. She’d spend nights propped up like this, finding it easier to think and reflect on her words and actions in this position than if she were to lay down. It allows her to stay focused on her thoughts instead of sleeping, and she spends a lot of time in this position running through past and possible future scenarios in her head.

Eventually she always ends up falling asleep like this, even if she doesn’t mean to. She knows it’s bad for her to mangle her upper body like this, but much like any other bad habit, the cost of breaking it is too high at the moment.

So she relents, and takes up the position as she has so many times. She stares at the window in front of her, watching the raindrops slowly leave streaks of water on the panes. It’s enough to slowly put her breathing back in check, but she still finds herself unsure of what’s next.

When they talk, what’s she going to say? What can she say to make up for all the time they spent apart from each other? It might not even be possible to make up, the thought making her shudder as it crosses her mind. Realistically, the chances of that are low, but…

Really the only thing in the world she wants right now is to be friends again.

It’s a selfish thought, she tells herself. It feels so wrong to want to be friends with someone you hurt and never comforted. The idea of the other girl wanting the same is ludicrous. Then again, they were so close before… maybe they can be close again?

Then the thoughts slip into feelings, ones she’s continually told herself that she’s a terrible person for having. Feelings that make absolutely no sense and can’t be reasoned with to disappear without a trace. Feelings that make her face heat up again as she scrambles to clear her head. Feelings that can’t be acted on anymore.

The rain begins to pick up, the light tap, tap, tap  of the drops turning into what sounds like rocks being lobbed towards the window. It’s enough to derail her thoughts, thankfully. Now would be a good time to get up, in case any more stray feelings decide to make themselves known once again.

~~~~

Luz stands near the glass doors of a local coffee shop chain, waiting for the barista to put her order on the take-out counter. She had decided to make a breakfast run for herself… and begrudgingly, her roommate too.

One of the workers puts a white paper bag and a tall paper cup on the counter, which Luz quickly snatches up, thanking the people huddled around the drive-through window for their troubles. As she walks back to the dorm, one of the two bagels safely in her backpack while the other remains in her hand receiving intermittent bites, she wonders what the best way to start the discussion is.

It begins to rain harder, prompting Luz to stop and pull her maroon beanie out of her bag. It’s not ideal for keeping her dry, but it’ll at least stop her hair from getting soaked. Of all the things she managed to pack in her car, an umbrella somehow wasn’t one of them. She’ll buy one eventually.

She gets back to the commons just as a rumble of thunder echoes through the valley. She already texted Willow and Gus about her plans for the day, so there’s no need to stop back at their place. Forgoing the elevator for once, she trundles up to the third floor, coffee and bagel still in hand.

Once she reaches her room, she somehow manages to transfer the half-eaten bagel to the same hand that’s holding her coffee. Upon opening the door with her now-free hand, she spots the other girl rushing towards her, clearly in distress. She stops in the doorway as Amity just barely avoids bumping into Luz’ breakfast.

“Oh, good you’re awake again.” Luz mutters.

“Not now Noceda, I need to use the bathroom!” Amity snaps back. Luz rolls her eyes, but obliges and moves back into the hallway. The other girl maneuvers past her and disappears into the commons’ ladies room.

Luz steps into the dorm, placing her coffee and backpack on the counter as the door closes on its own. She takes the paper bag out and drops it onto the counter as well, next to the instant coffee machine. With nothing to do until the other girl gets back, Luz leans against the counter and returns to her breakfast.

Eventually, Amity slinks in. “Welcome back.” Luz says coldly.

“Hi… I’m sorry for yelling at you, I was in a hurry and-“

“Don’t worry about it.” Luz waves her hand before grabbing at the paper bag and tossing it lightly onto the island in front of her. “Bought this for ya. Figured ya might wanna eat while we chat.”

Amity looks skeptical, but pulls the bagel out of the bag anyway and unwraps it.

“Hope you like everything with cream cheese, cuz that’s all they had. I… don’t know how you take your coffee, so I didn’t get you one.” Luz explains.

Amity nods slightly. “That’s fine. Thanks.” She takes a small bite of it as Luz watches, occasionally sipping her coffee.

“I’m gonna be honest Blight,” Luz speaks up again after a few moments, “I don’t really wanna have this talk right now. But we’re both here, and I feel like waiting even less than I feel like talking.”

“Yeah, I know. I want to be here just as much as you do, Noceda.” Amity replies. The bite in her tone throws Luz for a loop, though it’s more familiar than it is off-putting. It’s just unexpected after Amity hasn’t so much as muttered anything rude under her breath so far.

Luz hesitates before responding. “Look… I don’t know if you like, planned  this, or whatever, but if you wanted to talk to me, you cou-“

“I didn’t plan this.” Amity interrupts, putting the bagel down. “At least… I didn’t, uh… ensure that this  would happen.” She seems to struggle to put the words together.

“What’s that supposed to mean? This wasn’t  a coincidence, there’s no way.”

“I left the second name on my dorm application blank on purpose.” she quickly admits. Luz understands what she’s really saying just as quickly.

“In the hopes that I’d end up as your roommate.” She finishes Amity’s thought for her. Amity nods after a moment of silence. Luz scoffs, and Amity’s expression twists.

“So… instead of just talking  to me again, you correctly assumed I wouldn’t have anyone on my application either, and left the second name on yours blank in the hope that we’d end up as roommates.” Luz shakes her head, almost amazed that everything worked according to Amity’s “plan”.

“How else was I supposed to get to you?” Amity questions, somewhat loudly. “You have me blocked on every social media and I lost your Wizcord tag after…” her voices fades as quickly as it rose.

Luz, knowing she didn’t exactly give Amity any way to contact her, switches course. “Well, we’re both here now. So let’s talk.”

“About what? The fact that we’re roommates now? We both know exactly how we feel about each other, right? So what’s left to say?” Amity spits back.

Luz points a finger directly at Amity’s chest. “Gee, I don’t know Blight, after all you’re  the one who set this whole thing up. Clearly you’ve got something on your mind that you wanna spill to me.”

Amity bats Luz’ accusatory hand gesture away and crosses her arms. “You…”

“I what?”

“You’re right, okay?” she admits. Her voice gets quieter again. “I do want to talk to you. About us. About what happened between us.”

*Begin Track 04: Medieval*

Luz takes a long sip of her coffee before she responds. “Again, what’s there to talk about?” She puts the coffee down on the counter and crosses her arms in much the same way as the other girl. “If you’re gonna try and apologize-“

“Do you want me to apologize? Something tells me it wouldn’t really make any difference now.” Amity grumbles. Luz falters, once again knowing Amity’s assessment is correct. Before she can offer a retort, Amity speaks up again.

“I can’t make up for what I did to you. You didn’t deserve to be… left alone like that. I should’ve talked to y-“

“You’re damn  right about that.” Luz cuts her off, too agitated at this point to stop herself. “Literally anything  would’ve been better than just never talking to me again.”

“Luz…” Amity mumbles, refusing to look at her former friend. Luz continues.

“You were the first real friend I had during high school. We were so close, close enough that I thought…” Her voice fades, and a melancholy look passes over her face just  long enough for Amity to notice it, but she doesn’t interrupt. “… and then I guess you decided it wasn’t worth continuing. So you left me, without another word. You can’t  ‘make up’ for that.”

“… I know that. I’m not gonna try.” Amity says, quiet enough that Luz almost doesn’t catch it. Her next words are a tinge louder. “But maybe if you knew my side of the story, you’d at least understand  why I couldn’t talk to you at the time.”

Luz picks up her coffee and swirls it around, pondering whether she actually wants to hear this or not. Right now, she doesn’t think it’s going to change much about Amity in her head, but Amity’s right when she says that Luz doesn’t know her side. Hearing her out won’t fix anything, but it’d at least help her figure out why Amity never did come back to her despite all the time they spent as friends.

With a begrudging look and unconvinced tone, “Go ahead, Blight.” is her only response. Amity takes a deep breath, and begins.

“My parents… I never talked about them much to you. I kept our friendship as much of a secret as I could, because I didn’t know how they’d respond to us… my mother was always uncomfortable with how I presented myself. She only gave me free reign to dress as I wanted after she realized it would score her brownie points with other rich mothers. ‘Supporting you makes me  look better!’ she would spout, as if I was supposed to be grateful to her for simply letting me be myself.”

She stops, the look on her face morphing switching between anger and sadness almost constantly. Luz waits patiently for her to continue, no longer sipping any coffee.

“Right before the dance, my mother found out about us. About our friendship. My mother was furious  that I’d associate with someone of your ‘class’, as she put it.”

“So in response, you… stopped talking to me altogether.” Luz states dryly, just barely managing to hide how much that sentence hurts to say now.

“I didn’t want to.” Amity goes on. “I wanted to keep being your friend, but my mother kept threatening to pull me out of school if I didn’t comply. So… I stopped talking to you, yeah.” Luz notices tears forming in the corners of Amity’s eyes. As much as she wants to, she doesn’t move any closer.

“I fought back, though. I didn’t just stop talking to you, I stopped talking to all the ‘friends’ that my parents assigned to me, and purposefully let my grades slip. By this point my mother and I were always at each other’s throat. She’d try and get me to go with her to fancy dinners to socialize with her rich friends so I’d still end up in a good college, but I wouldn’t. I figured maybe I could get her off my back and we could be friends again.”

Luz raises an eyebrow. The entire time they weren’t speaking, she had been fighting tooth and nail with her mother, just to be friends with Luz again?

Amity continues. “Towards the end of the school year, she started fighting with my father over me… but he finally  realized she was making me miserable and they got divorced. My plan worked. I was free of her.”

“… why didn’t you talk to me again after that?” Luz asks quietly.

Amity wipes her face with her sleeve. She looks uncomfortable, but doesn’t shy away from talking.

“While they were fighting over custody of me and the twins, my mother made an ultimatum. She said that my father could have everything, including us, if he promised to send me to an online school instead of our school. She said something about public school ‘poisoning my head’, so she figured if I went to an online school, my grades would pick back up and I’d end up in a good college anyway. My father went along with it, so by the time I was able to talk to you without her hanging over me… it was too late.” Amity laughs in such a way that it sends a chill down Luz’ spine.

“I wanted to reach out to you again, but if I wasn’t going to the same school, I didn’t have a way to get to you. I didn’t want to freak you out by showing up to your house or anything, and… I just didn’t know how to talk to you again. Then I found out we were both going here, and that’s when I put my ‘plan’ into action.”

Luz finds herself struggling to understand everything Amity’s laying out. She had always known something was off with Amity’s parents, but seeing as she never talked about them, Luz couldn’t be sure what exactly was off. Even though she hadn’t wanted to let Amity’s story change her feelings, this paints everything in an entirely new light.

“I-I still want to be friends with you… I’ve always  wanted to be friends, Luz, a-and I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner, but my mother… sh-she was going to…”

As her voice loses steam, she ends her speech by looking down at the floor, tears in her eyes, quietly mumbling “… I’m sorry, please s-stop being mean to me…”

Luz doesn’t move. From her perspective, she is  still mad. Amity could’ve  kept talking to her, just in secret, but she didn’t. Surely they could’ve figured something out, if Amity had just talked  to her. She knows Amity was going through a lot; hell, she still is  going through a lot, but she can’t stop herself from being upset at the other girl, even if it’s harder to justify those feelings now.

In the moment, however, Luz’ façade crumbles. She’s been way  too hard on Amity over the short time they’ve been back together. She makes her way around the island to be closer to her former friend; she doesn’t touch her, instead waiting for Amity to notice that she’s next to her now. When she does, Luz’ next words are quiet but blunt.

“I’m sorry your mother was so much of an ass to you. I wish you had talked to me sooner, though. I understand why you didn’t, but… it really hurt to see you avoiding me. Even if you had valid reasons, it would’ve been nice to know  what you were going through. Maybe I could’ve helped. Anything would’ve been better than… cutting me off like that.”

Amity wipes her eyes again, desperately trying to conceal her face. She doesn’t respond, and Luz immediately worries that she was too hard on Amity. When she picks her head up again, there’s tear streaks on her cheeks that make Luz want to wipe them away as soon as they’re visible, but she doesn’t want to freak Amity out even more with sudden contact right now.

“… I know… I should’ve talked to you sooner… I-I was scared. I hope you can forgive me for that, and… maybe we can be friends again…”

Luz remains silent for a moment. Amity’s asking her to simply move past almost two years of emotional turmoil, a tall ask for anyone, not just them. She isn’t sure it’s something that can just happen, so she tells Amity exactly what she’s thinking.

“I don’t know, to be honest with you. I’ve spent so long thinking you wanted nothing to do with me, and all of a sudden I find out that’s not the case. I’m still hurt… and I don’t know how long it’s going to take for me to heal from that.”

Amity sniffles, again making Luz want to stop and tell Amity what she wants to hear. The other girl regains a bit of her composure and simply says “I understand.”

Luz does end up backtracking a bit though. “I’m sorry for being so cold to you. And hey, who knows… look, if I’m being honest, I don’t not  want to be friends again. It’ll just… take me more time to figure out how I feel. For now, we can at least be… civil, I think.”

In that moment, Luz thinks back to the last time they spoke to each other. There’s another, much bigger reason that she’s mad at Amity, but she pushes the memory away as soon as it resurfaces. It’s in the past, no sense in harping on it.

Amity nods, then slowly looks up at Luz, breaking the taller girl out of her thoughts. Luz notices her shaking slightly, then sees the temperature reading on the thermometer. She looks back, and calmly opens her arms to her former friend, who practically falls into them.

They’re not friends again, not yet, but maybe they can be.

Notes:

hi yes this is still my first time writing something like this and even if its based on my own experiences that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily well-written so like, im sorry if some of this stuff is bad or whatever but a lot of this fic is me trying to get better at writing all sorts of stuff, angst included. lmk if im doing ok!!! or if im doing badly!!! fr I really enjoy criticism and want to get better so if you have thoughts then let me know!!!

where do we go from here? will luz and amity become friends again? what exactly happened to make them fall out? idk yall prolly know by now but what the hell I like leaving stuff unsaid for later :)
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Chapter 5: away

Summary:

Luz accompanies Willow and Gus to the student lounge the day after her talk with Amity.

Notes:

hi i didn’t read through this chapter in its entirety before uploading it but im tired and its prolly fine, im not being graded on this so ya know its fine its cool hell yea

Track 05: Away by Vacations

*Begin Track 05: Away (set to loop)*

Things would smooth out somewhat over the next couple days.

They’re still not friends, but their relations are a lot less hostile, and neither one feels the need to spend entire nights in other dorms. For the most part, they stay as separate as they’ve been for the last couple of years, but it’s not out of misunderstandings and malice, just… civility.

Luz sets up her computer the same day she and Amity talk, and almost immediately gives herself an anxiety attack when she sees all the syllabi laid out on the school’s proprietary student site.

If it weren’t for her roommate asking what was wrong, she might’ve spent the entire afternoon staring at her screen in shock.

“I know it looks like a lot, but after a few weeks you’ll start to flow through it.” Amity tells her.

“You sound awfully confident for someone who’s in the same level of classes as me.” she replies. Her tone is much friendlier than the one she would’ve used a few hours ago.

Amity lets out a tiny laugh. Luz has missed that sound.

~~~~

Around noon that day, Luz leaves for lunch with her mother and definitely-soon-to-be-parent. It's more pleasant than breakfast was a few days ago, but the air of strained relations hangs over the entire meal, no matter how many toppings Eda puts on her “salad”.

Luz doesn’t eat much, once again. She excuses it by mentioning her late breakfast run, and though the reasoning isn’t air-tight, her guardians seem to buy it. When they go their separate ways once again, Luz hums quietly to herself as she drives back to the dorms, silently switching between wishing they could have lunch like this every day, and never wanting to do it again.

~~~~

When she trudges up to her dorm once again, she finds Amity sprawled out on the floor.

“… what are you doing?” asks Luz.

Amity doesn’t notice her until she speaks up. “Oh, uh… just… hangin’ out. Y’know. As one does.” she replies as she sits up.

“You’re such a weirdo.” Luz states as she shakes her head, a slight smile on her face. Amity rolls her eyes.

They actually sleep in the same dorm that night, only after Luz checks to see if her clock radio blasting “all the hits of the 70s, 80s, and 90s” is acceptable to her roommate (the answer ends up being yes).

When she wakes up the next morning, Luz arranges some time to take a shower in the commons’ bathroom. The stall is incredibly small, causing problems for Luz and her long arms and legs. As she curses out whoever designed the bathroom to be so archaic and cramped, the water alternates between being room temperature and close to its boiling point.

“Damaged carts, showers with their own ideas of proper water temp… how much did we pay for this again???”  she muses as she washes her thick hair. She should probably get it cut soon, but the beanie will cover it well enough until that day comes.

She returns to the dorm once drying off to the best of her ability, and thankfully, Amity is still snoozing. Luz thanks her lucky stars for allowing her to get changed without having to feel awkward. Amity wouldn’t make her uncomfortable, of course, but getting used to changing when someone else lives in the same room as you is a lot harder when you’ve had your own room most of your life.

Deciding that stopping at the coffee chain again would lead into a routine that would then drain her wallet faster than another round of Azura merch purchases, she settles for a cup of coffee from the machine instead. This requires that she refill the machine with water, something easier said than done as the counter’s sink, while graciously existing as part of this apartment-adjacent “dorm”, lacks an extendable hose.

She could be upset at Amity for not refilling the machine after using it like five times yesterday, but since it’s possible the other girl didn’t even bring the machine, she instead silently curses out the housing office for giving them an apartment but not a simple sink hose.

As it brews, she rolls her eyes at the lack of creamer on the counter (“Geez, Amity must’ve made like, three cups of coffee yesterday!”) and takes it black instead, once it cools down a bit. She makes a mental note to run to the store sometime this week; the bitter taste isn’t pleasant.

Luz spends the bulk of the morning scrolling through social media on her computer (rather than her phone), and occasionally checking MewTube for new videos from the various video game review, music cover artist, and Azura fan channels she’s subscribed to.

It’s approaching noon when Amity finally wakes up. A barely-audible groan emanates from her as Luz looks over.

“Still not a morning person Blight?”

“Bluh…” she grumbles, causing Luz to wonder if the other girl has forgotten her own name.

“I’ll take that as a ‘please leave me alone until I’ve had my caffeine injection, then.”

Amity rolls over to face the wall instead of Luz. Luz turns back to her computer when she hears a notification from Wizcord.

hello_willow (11:47): @luzura Gus and I are going to grab lunch from the café and then go to the lounge for a few hours! Do you want to come with us?

gustopher (11:47): yeah!!! it’s gonna be super fun and u should def join us so i can wreck you at pool >:)

Luz thinks for a moment. The lounge is right near the cafeteria, and it has some sort of array of games for students to play free of charge, but it’s also a pretty popular place to be. Any potential fun she could have has a chance of being superseded by an unwelcome amount of other people.

luzura~ (11:48): ill be there, wait at the cafe for me lmao

She gets up and looks over at Amity again. There’s a few faint snores rising up from the blankets.

“Eh, she’d prolly appreciate some alone time again.”  Luz decides as she grabs her phone, her keys, and one of her handhelds.

~~~~

She finds her friends once again sitting at a table in the cafeteria, the grey skies from yesterday having been supplanted by a sunny sky that makes all the puddles outside sparkle when viewed from certain angles. Luz grabs lunch from the café and joins the group.

“So how’d your talk with Amity go? Assuming it happened, I mean.” Willow asks in between bites of her visibly-overcooked burger.

“It went… surprisingly well. Started off pretty bad, but we agreed to put some past stuff behind us and try and be nice to each other. Seems to be working so far.” Luz answers.

She catches a weird look on Willow’s face, but before she can question it, Gus pipes up. “So, you ready to be absolutely demolished  in pool, witch?”

“Do these look like the arms of a loser to you Augustus?” Luz quips as she flexes one of her weak nerd arms. “Keep talkin’ smack and I’ll use ‘em wipe that grin right off your face, ya gremlin.”

Gus pretends to look scared and the two share another laugh. There’s very few people that can rile Luz up like that and get away with it with their limbs still undamaged.

Soon enough, the three finish their lunches. Gus checks the time on his watch. “Looks like it’s ‘Beat Luz At Pool’-o’clock! Last one in the lounge is a common swamp frog!” he announces before making a beeline to the hallway outside the café.

Willow shares a playfully-unamused glance with Luz. The two wage a battle over who gets to take Gus’ garbage to the trash for him; it ends up being Willow after a well-fought game of rock-paper-scissors.

~~~~

The first things Luz notices about the lounge are the crowds gathered around a few points of interest. Directly ahead and slightly to the left is an entertainment center supporting a large flatscreen TV alongside an older CRT one. There appears to be some kind of fighting game tournament going on, with some kids sitting on the couch and others standing around them.

A row of computers and charging stations sit somewhat scattered on a desk in front of the adjacent wall. Three of the four are occupied, though only one student is using their computer.

To the right rests a pair of ping-pong tables occupied by a small flock of older students. A sofa sits behind them, against the wall, presently inhabited by people assumedly waiting for their turn at the tables.

The one person Luz doesn’t see is Gus. As she looks around, Willow taps her shoulder gently.

“There’s more people than we were expecting, I think. Maybe we should come back later if it’s too much-“

“I’ll be fine Willow. I’ve dealt with large numbers of unknown people before.” she replies quietly. She isn’t sure if Willow is buying her refusal to leave, but she’s going  to beat Gus at pool today.

“Alright… but please let me know if you want to leave, and we’ll go with you.” Willow adds. Luz nods, and the two step into the room proper.

Her new vantage point allows Luz to analyze the room closer. It’s an off U shape; the door from the hall protrudes into the lounge a slight bit, creating two “pockets” for lack of a better word on either side of it. There’s another door towards the back of the left pocket,

She sees a wooden desk behind her, to the right of the door. Some students have a spread of notebooks and textbooks laid across it. On the other side of the door, crammed into the inside corner, lies the majestic pool table that Gus is so excited to lose on.

Only now does Luz notice the faint music hanging in the air of the room. It’s a song she recognizes, and it helps her focus on the task at hand. She finally sees Gus standing behind the table, writing his name on a small whiteboard with a dry-erase marker. There’s two other names above him, neither of which Luz recognizes.

Gus finishes signing the board and sneaks out of the corner to meet the other two. Before either of them can say anything, he’s bouncing while explaining the rules of the road to them.

“So the way it works is that we write our names on the board, and as the games go on, the winner stays at the table while the loser has to write their name on the board again if they want to keep going. The winner plays the next person whose name is at the top of the board!”

Luz and Willow follow along, and once Gus is done rambling, Luz writes her name under his. Willow waves them off as she goes to see what fighting game is grabbing everyone’s attention on the other side of the room.

Luz takes a seat at the empty sofa near the pool tables. It’s right next to the door that leads outside, right across from the one leading out of the cafeteria. Every so often when someone comes in or goes out, she gets hit with a blast of warm air.

She watches as Gus analyzes the current match. It’s not long before he’s socializing with the other spectators, and Luz listens in when he starts pretending to be a sports broadcaster, to the delight of (the majority of) the crowd.

Then Luz notices just how many people she can see in front of her. The sofa basically allows her to view the entire room and everyone in it, and the number of people just seems to increase as the clock on the wall approaches 1pm. She doesn’t realize it immediately, but she starts getting a bit fidgety. To counteract it when she does notice it, she pulls out her handheld and turns it on.

Focusing on the game grounds her and keeps her from acknowledging how many people might have their eyes on her at any given moment. She occasionally hears bits and bobs from Gus as he continues to commentate on the games, but for the most part, she stays absorbed in her action-platformer.

It’s times like this that she envies how naturally socializing comes to her friends. Gus isn’t surprising; he’s always been really sociable and easy to talk to. It’s no wonder he’s already made good graces with a number of random students he probably won’t talk to outside of this room.

Meanwhile, Willow stands as part of the gang watching the fighting game rounds go down. Once in a while Luz notices her friend look over at her, and Luz usually responds to this with a thumbs-up. She knows Willow probably isn’t talking much, but the fact she simply blends in with the rest of the shouting audience is an accomplishment in spite of all the times she explained her social anxieties to Luz.

Meanwhile, she remains planted on her couch, half-oblivious to the rest of the world but always paying enough attention to it to notices when things are off. Nothing is, at least not yet, but the fear of something happening is always present, even when she doesn’t realize it.

At some point, Willow walks over to her. A round has just ended and there’s some time until the next one starts. She crouches down next to the arm of the couch and slowly rests her hand on Luz’ arm.

“You doing okay, Luz?” she asks softly.

Luz, having put her handheld down, sighs. “It’s a bit noisy… it’s not too bad though. I’m new to this kind of thing, y’know? Just need some time to adjust.”

“I understand. You’re free to come and watch the tournament with me if you get bored. And don’t forget what I told you, we can leave whenever you want.”

“I’m fine, Willow. But… thank you."

Gus’ name is next on the whiteboard. Only then does Luz close her handheld and get up to watch. She remains at a comfortable distance, making sure not to accidentally bump into anyone and garner attention thrown her way. She takes note of the current opponents: the young-looking kid she spotted at orientation, and a taller guy with blonde hair. The younger one is clearly winning.

She doesn’t often go silent, but much like before, this is her first impression on everyone in the lounge. She could be as eccentric as Gus, nonchalantly reacting with hoots and hollers every time something cool happens, but she risks sticking out and alienating the others. Walking the line is the most challenging part of social interaction for her.

This collectedness is shattered when Gus shouts her name after sinking a few balls.

“Consider this a prelude to our game, Luz! You’re goin’ down!”

Suddenly, all eyes are on her, the one thing  she’s been trying to avoid by just blending in with the crowd. Gus isn’t calling her out to be mean or anything, he’s just a little… unaware sometimes.

She looks around without saying anything at all. Her fight or flight kicks in, her brain telling her to run, to get away as fast as possible and avoid anything that might hurt her.

“Oh, my bad. Everyone, that’s Luz, my friend! I’m gonna win the next match so I can totally  destroy her! It’s gonna be awesome!”

Luz freezes, not really knowing what to say in response. She’s the center of attention, but she doesn’t have anything meaningful to add. She’s just there. But she’s also now just Gus’ friend to them, and maybe that’s the best outcome. They only need to know that much about her.

The younger kid sinks another ball, ending the current game and saving Luz from having to speak up. He pipes up as the blonde kid somewhat-angrily rests his cue on the table before walking out the corner door.

“Oh yeah Gus? Unfortunately for you, I’ve just won, and you’ll have to go through me  first.” The cocky smile plastered on his face elicits a raised eyebrow from Luz.

“Fine by me Matty. I’m ready for anything!” Gus exclaims as he picks up the discarded cue.

Some of the people that were watching the previous game head out after the blonde kid leaves. Coincidentally, the large group of upperclassmen huddling around the ping-pong tables make their way into the hallway just a second later. The room feels a lot lighter for Luz without so many people.

Feeling a small wave of confidence, Luz finally reveals her voice to the unassuming few left around the pool table. It’s not much, but they’re the only first words they’ll hear out of Luz, so they have to be good. Nothing too weird, nothing too out-there.

“Good luck Gus. Knock ‘em dead, witch!”

“… why did I call him that. Why did I call him that.”  she groans to herself. There’s absolutely no way in hell that anyone hearing her call Gus a witch would clue them into the fact that she’s actually a magical fantasy nerd that loves one specific book series aimed at people less than half her current age, but that doesn’t stop the heat from rushing to her face.

As many others would expect, none of them acknowledge this term of endearment coming from Luz. She figured at least one of them would look at her funny, but they don’t. Maybe they misheard her and thought she called him a bitch? If that was the case they’d immediately assume she’s a pretty rude person, unless they also assume she only talks to her friends this way, which would mean they’re assuming she’s actually a nice person. That’s a lot of assumptions for her to be making of other people, though…

“…huh.”

Right then and there, something clicks, and she realizes that the chances of any of them thinking she’s weird are pretty low.

She watches Gus and “Matty” go at it from against the wall behind the table, having moved there to be a little closer to the action and to be out of the open “center” of the room. The two circle each other rapidly, each inconsistently leaving the other without any clear shot upon their next turn. It’s almost like the two are dancing with each other, but that dance is also a competition to see who will tap out first.

Eventually, disaster strikes as Gus misses the final shot on the 8-ball. Matty finishes off the last of the stripes and lines up to finish Gus off too. Looks like they won’t be playing their match together after all that. As Matty does indeed sink the 8-ball with a pretty wild bank shot that’s also wholly unnecessary, Gus lets out a defeated sigh.

“You played well, Gus. Just not well enough to beat me. I guess I’ll have to play your friend for you!” Matty taunts, that same smirky smile never leaving his mug. Unfortunately for him, Gus is too much of a chipper dude to let that get to him.

“Hey, you won fair and square Matty. Once Luz takes you down, we’ll have our rematch.” Gus chimes back. The other kid gives a sarcastic nod as Gus hands his cue to Luz, writing his name on the whiteboard as soon as the wooden stick leaves his grasp.

Luz takes stock of the situation. This Matty kid is really good, and cocky too. She’s not the best at pool, but she’s good enough to beat Gus a little more than half the time they play online. This is an entirely different beast though: there’s no little white line showing where the balls will end up after being hit.

Matty “graciously” sets the balls back up and offers Luz the break shot. It’s underwhelming, no doubt thanks to her weak nerd arms, but well enough to get the started. Having potted nothing on break, Matty eyes the table for his first shot of the match. As Luz watches him plan a course of attack, she hears the corner door open again, and instinctively turns to see who it is.

Big mistake.

In walks a taller person with hot pink hair and glasses, the same one Luz spotted from orientation (she’s two for two today when it comes to that). They’re holding a wooden baseball bat at their side, decorated with names drizzled in black marker. Behind them, a shorter girl with dark grey hair follows, idly staring at her phone screen and not paying attention to the person in front of her. The tall one stops; the other girl bumps into them, prompting a glare back from the former.

Then the third of the group shuffles in quietly. To Luz’ horror and bewilderment, the girl’s light purple shirt and black leggings are instantly recognizable, as is her long mint hair.

“What the hell…?”  Luz thinks as the sound of clattering billiard balls echoes behind her.

The group of three shoot glances around the room silently before making their way further in, none of them looking over at the pool table. Instead, they traipse over to the sofa behind the ping-pong tables and take their seats. While the first two stare at their phones, the third awkwardly scopes out the room, until her eyes meet Luz’.

They remain that way until Matty decides to remind Luz that it’s her turn. She takes a moment, then turns around and doesn’t look back. For right now, her focus is on the game, not her roommate sitting twenty feet away with people she claimed she wasn’t talking to anymore.

Unfortunately, this brief acknowledgement that they both indeed know the other is there affects Luz’ game to a great degree. She immediately scratches against one of the solids, giving Matty total control over the cue ball’s next location. Though it only gives him the chance to sink two more balls, he’s suddenly up three over Luz.

It takes a lot of willpower to forget about the room around her as the game continues. She knows  the other two have to have noticed her, but what they could possibly be thinking or saying right now is entirely out of her range. As she pots two balls in a row, giving Matty a visible scare for just a sliver of a second, she hears someone come up behind her.

“So… Amity’s not the only one going here, huh?”

The voice is like nails on a chalkboard for Luz. She doesn’t look at the person who asked that stupid question as she gives a despondent “Guess not.” as a reply.

“Still not much of a talker, then. At least Amity’s taken a liking to you again, that’s nice.” the person spouts with a biting edge that frustrates Luz to no end.

She doesn’t respond at all this time. She simply focuses on the table, and on the shot she’s about to make. With a flurry of emotions building up in her head, she totally butchers the shot, scratching again and drawing a small laugh out of Matty. All this does is frustrate her more, and the next words out of the leering demon’s mouth sends her over the top.

“It’s too bad she’ll have to split her time between the both of us again, don’t you think, Noceda?”

Luz stops herself from throwing the cue at the wall and finally turns around to face the other person. They’re standing with their arms crossed, face stuck somewhere between annoyance and disappointment. The fact they’re somehow taller than Luz now, which forces them to have to look down at her, only heightens the aggression they both feel towards each other.

“I’m in the middle of something, Boscha. If you’re done spewing bullshit from your mouth, I’d like to return to that something, if you don’t mind.” Luz spits back at them.

“By all means, run off again.” Boscha chides. Then they turn to look at the girls on the couch, the mint-haired one specifically, before dropping the worst line that could possibly follow the last one. “It’s what she’s best at, right Amity?”

The amount of sheer unbridled irony in Boscha calling her  the best at running away between the two former friends stokes Luz’ urge to punch them right then and there. Right when her mental guard drops and she takes a step forward, gearing up to follow through on that urge, Amity puts her phone down and gets up.

“Boscha, cut it out.” she murmurs as she walks up to the situation. Before Luz can do anything, Amity is pulling Boscha off to the side.

Amity keeps her voice low, but it’s just barely loud enough for Luz to hear.

“That wasn’t called for at all. You said you’d be civil!”

“Yeah, and then she  decided to be here. That’s not my fault.” Boscha retorts.

“What does it matter! I already told you what happened, don’t make it worse!”

“You’re such a coward, Blight. Spending a year in homeschool killed your vibes.”

“Who cares? Just stop trying to start stuff here  of all places.”

“Ugh… whatever. We’re not staying here, though.”

“Fine.” Amity mutters, visibly defeated.

Luz watches as Boscha instantly motions for the third girl to join them, and the group of three silently makes its way out of the lounge and into the hallway. She stands there, taking in everything that’s happened in barely the last five minutes.

Things were just  smoothed out between her and Amity, and now the rest of the clown posse from high school is here too? And Amity is still  talking to them?? Was what she said yesterday a complete lie??? Her hands crumple into fists as the questions threaten to break her down, but she internally decides it’s not worth falling apart over that right now.

Gus and Matty stare on as she returns to the table. She doesn’t say anything, and simply lines up her next shot, assuming that it’s her turn. If it isn’t, neither of them stop her.

The music still emanating throughout the room once again helps Luz focus on the game. For now, it’s the only thing she wants to think about.

She’ll deal with Amity later.

Notes:

welcome to phase 2 of affection!!! i noticed while i was outlining this that i subconsciously “split” this fic into five 4-chapter “arcs”, so this is the beginning of the second arc. and wow, look at all those side characters! and they’re all going to the same college, fancy that! lmao

also oh man these chapters are getting long. over 4.6k words this time round, wow. it's probably because i felt the need to describe, like, the layout of the lounge for no real reason other than i feel it makes it easier to keep track of things in my head, but i'm also really bad at explaining the positions and layouts of things so!!!!!

from now on my “schedule” is gonna be one chapter a week so I don’t burn myself out, but depending on how my mental health is ill prolly end up posting two some weeks. regardless of anything, chapters will always be up by sunday night at the latest. I work a full-time job 4-5 days a week so I don’t get a lot of time to write

lmk what you think of the fic!! hope to see you for chapter 6!!

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Chapter 6: friends

Summary:

Luz, Willow, and Gus attempt to work on a lab report; they don't get very far, though.

Notes:

this was going to be chapter 7 but i felt the idea I had for chapter 6 would work better if it had a little more buildup so enjoy more hexolio therapy content in the meantime

Track 06: Friends by Vacations

*No track playing*

Luz lays on her bed in the dorm, somewhere between conscious and unconscious. She keeps drifting in and out of sleep, no thanks in part to the sunlight still wafting through the windows.

It’s barely 6pm, but after the lounge incident led to an early dinner with her Willow and Gus, she decided to turn in for the day. She didn’t plan on sleeping this early, but the moment she got back to the dorm, all she wanted to do was collapse onto her bed and forget the last few hours had ever happened.

The room is dead silent.

After much intermittent trying, she finds herself slipping into some sort of stable sleep. Much to her annoyance, however, this stability is soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

She doesn’t look up, but knows who it is. The other girl shuffles into the room and drops her backpack on the island. Then, without hesitation, she walks over to Luz with her fists clenched.

She stops, takes a deep breath, and speaks in an oddly calm, collected voice.

“I’m sorry for what they said to you. It was way out of line and they had no ri-“

“I don’t care. Leave me alone.” Luz snaps, interrupting Amity’s apology without a second thought.

Amity pauses. Her train of thought has been totally derailed, and Luz silently hopes it stays that way for tonight. Much to her surprise, though, Amity recollects herself and continues.

“I don’t care if you don’t care. I’m going to apologize and you’re going to listen.”

Luz sits up. Amity’s voice didn’t waver or crack. After their talk two days ago, Luz would’ve expected Amity to instantly crumble at her rejection of an apology. But now, it doesn’t look like Amity is going to back down like that this time.

“No, I’m not going to listen. You told me you stopped talking to all  your ‘friends’. How am I supposed to believe anything you say to me after a lie so blatant?” Luz chides.

Amity looks frustrated. “I didn’t lie about anything! I could explain if you’d just-“

“No!” Luz shouts back. “You told me you were done being friends with them, just like…” she pauses as her face falls. Her voice grows quieter. “… just like me.”

Luz won’t make eye contact, but she can tell Amity is shaking. At the present moment, though, she doesn’t find herself concerned or upset, just… ambivalent.

“… fine.” Amity mutters after a few seconds of silence. Without another word, she slinks over to her own bed and falls onto it. Luz stares down at the bedsheets, split between wanting to say something else and not wanting to ever talk to her former friend again.

~~~~

*Begin Track 06: Friends (set to loop)*

Two weeks pass. Neither one speaks to the other if they can help it. Any chances of a comfortable friendship are drowned under a chorus of unspoken grievances and slights.

Luz focuses hard  on her classes to keep herself distracted, alongside occasionally visiting the lounge with her friends. Thankfully, the “Grudgby Team” (as Luz had coined them back in high school) seems to have decided the lounge is too low-class for them, and pool games are no longer interrupted by shouting matches, unless Gus happens to beat Matty one too many times.

The first two weeks of classes pass without much issue. Not having chosen a major means Luz’ only classes are gen-eds, some of which she luckily shares with her friends. She and Willow often go over English assignments together, while she and Gus pass notes to each other and barely pay attention in Algebra. Twice times a week, however, all three of them come together for 45 minutes of pure Chemistry.

Much to her surprise, most of the course is a review of the stuff Luz learned in her one high school chemistry class. Willow and Gus, however, are both new to the subject, with the former only having taken biology and the latter only having experience in physics.

Being the one doing the best out of her friends in one of their shared classes is a new experience for Luz, but she enjoys the opportunity to be the one giving her friends help for a change.

The only caveat is the once-weekly lab period, where the professor seems hell-bent on giving as little help as possible to any of them. The first one isn’t difficult at all, but the second one is.

“I don’t understand why he expects us to do stuff we haven’t learned about yet!” Gus complains as the three sit at one of the high tables in the chem lab. They’re all staring at the same sheet of paper with somewhat-detailed instructions on six tests for distinguishing certain types of substances from one another.

“Don’t worry Gus, we can figure it out.” Willow reassures him before looking at Luz. “Right, Luz?”

Luz hears her but doesn’t respond immediately. When whatever pathways in her brain finally connect and register that an answer is required, she quickly mutters “Sure, sure.” without looking back at her friends.

Willow’s expression drops further. “You alright, Luz? You look distracted…”

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Let’s get started on the lab.” Luz responds quietly. Willow takes this at face value and nods, with Gus doing the same.

The next two hours put in a bid for the most stressful the three have experienced since periods spent waiting to read essays aloud in high school English class. There’s twelve different samples to identify, and six different possible tests to run on all of them. Luz’ rudimentary knowledge of chemistry procedures speeds the process along, but not enough to make it a comfortable one.

At one point, Gus almost drops a sample of aluminum metal into a diluted acid bath, before Luz stops him at the last second. Willow confuses the adipic acid and dodecyl alcohol beakers, forcing them to run tests on them again which wastes valuable time. Luz trips and nearly brushes her hand on an active Bunsen burner, narrowly missing when Willow quickly moves it out of the way.

All in all, it could’ve gone worse.

~~~~

Later on, the three are sitting at a big table towards the back of college library with their laptops seated in front of them. An open Doogle Docs document sits blank on all their screens.

“So… which one of us wants to start?” Willow asks hesitantly.

“Do you want to do the formatting Luz? You always had an eye for that sort of thing.” Gus suggests.

Luz looks over at him and thinks for a second before nodding. Gus seems distraught at the lack of a verbal response, but doesn’t question it as far as she can hear.

Luz gets to work setting up the base look of the document, adding section headers and filling in some areas with text copied from the lab’s outline. Everything is spaced and positioned to perfection, just as she likes it, before any of them even think about writing the actual report.

“Done.” Luz announces with barely any volume at all as her friends look up at her.

“Ooh, this is really clean Luz!” Gus says as loudly as he can in a library without getting scolded. “Professor man ain’t gonna care how bad this report is if it looks this nice!”

Willow chuckles. “Well, we should at least give it the ol’ college try. What should we start with?”

Gus scans the outline for the thirtieth time and points to the questions on the back. “Maybe we should do the questions first, get the hard stuff outta the way now, y’know?”

“Good idea. That alright with you Luz?” Willow asks, without getting a response. “… Luz?”

Luz perks up but her face remains stuck in a sullen expression. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. Let’s get started.”

Willow hesitates. “Are you sure  you’re okay, Luz? We can hold off for a bit if you want to talk about anything.”

“I…” Luz hesitates as well. She avoided it earlier, but she really doesn’t want to have this conversation right now, especially not in a public space, but her friends have already inadvertently made it clear that this would go a lot smoother if Luz was in the right mindset.

“… it’s just the usual roommate stuff. You guys know how it is.” she lets out.

“Hmm… no, I don’t think we do know.” Gus replies, smiling slightly. He’s trying, and Luz gives a tiny smile back in appreciation.

“Alright, you win.” Her smile fades as she begins. "Back when Amity and I had our big talk two days into this, she told me she stopped talking to all  her friends when she stopped talking to me. But, as you saw in the lounge, her other friends  are still hanging around with her. She lied to me, and I don’t know how to get over it.”

Willow listens intently, and Gus nods along.

“Did she try to apologize to you or anything?” Gus asks.

Luz looks around the room before meekly admitting “… yeah, she tried. I blew her off and didn’t listen, though.”

Willow rubs her chin with her hand, a visual indicator that she’s thinking of what to ask Luz next. “So why didn’t you want to hear her out?” she asks after a moment.

Luz thinks it’s an odd question but answers anyway. “I dunno, I was super angry at her for lying. I don’t want an explanation or an apology from her, I just wish the whole thing hadn’t happened. At least then I wouldn’t know  she was lying.”

“But since you know  she lied, you got to make the decision to hear her out or not.” Willow adds, her voice a bit lower.

Luz raises an eyebrow. “You say that as if you have some experience with that kinda thing, Willow.” she presses.

“Well… let’s just say that you’re not the only one who’s been burned by a friend like this.” Willow adds, barely audible as a dark expression colors her face.

Gus looks over at her, and speaks in a voice softer than any Luz has ever heard from him. “It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about this, Willow.”

Willow shakes her head. “It’s been years, Augustus. I’m fine talking about it.” She reassures and chuckles softly. “Besides, my past experiences with friend drama might help Luz with her’s, right?”

Gus nods. Luz watches the two silently. They’ve been friends since long before Luz met them, and that connection is much stronger than the one she feels she has to either of them. They know things about each other that no one else does. There’s an understanding that’s been built up over years of shared experiences and friendship. Luz feels like a stranger to them in comparison.

That spiral of thinking is broken when Willow speaks up again. “Gus knows what I’m referring to, but I never told you, Luz. I relate because I had the same experience as a kid. I can tell you about it, if you want.”

Luz listens with interest. Hearing Willow offer to explain what was, up until now, seemingly a closely-guarded secret between her and Gus, reminds Luz that she’s just as much a friend to them as they are to each other.

“Go ahead.” she replies. Willow takes a deep breath.

“Back in elementary school, I had a friend. We did almost everything together, from studying to sports, even if I wasn’t very good at either. When we were moving up to middle school, my friend told me she was moving away and that we couldn’t be friends anymore.” Her expression drops a little again, but she continues. “When I got to middle school, however, there she was, surrounded by other friends she’d made. I confronted her, but before I gave her the chance to try  and explain, I stormed off. We were bitter enemies from that point on, until she actually did move away before high school. By that point it was too late for either of us to make amends.”

She shares a look with Gus. “That was the summer we met you.” Gus adds and waves at Luz with a smile.

Luz smiles and takes in what Willow is telling her. She probably became friends with Gus shortly after her other friend abandoned her, which makes sense… but then why was she so quick to befriend Luz at camp? Surely it should’ve taken more after Willow was hurt so badly by another person, but she was never anything but trusting with Luz.

It must’ve taken a lot to get to that point. The thought of Willow taking such a big gamble on someone that she’d never met, especially someone like Luz, really hits her in a way she can’t describe. Luz never would’ve taken the same chance after Amity left her.

Willow continues. “Here’s the thing, Luz. Amity offered you the choice to forgive her after she played her hand. It’s your move now. You can either hear her out or try and come to an understanding, or you can leave things as they are now and never talk to her again. If I were you… I’d take the former.”

Luz plays that sentence over and over in her head for a minute. Willow regrets what happened between her and her friend, clearly, and she doesn’t want Luz to make that same mistake with Amity.

“I… I still want  to be friends with her, I guess.” Luz concludes. “But forgiving her after what happened on top of the whole not speaking for two years thing is…” she trails off.

“It’s hard. And things won’t ever be perfect again, which is something you just have to accept. But if you still truly want to be friends with her, you  have to take the first step this time.” Willow states in no uncertain terms.

Luz thinks again. She’s not lying when she says she wants to be friends with Amity again, but it’s so much easier said than done. She spent a two years thinking Amity wanted nothing to do with her, and when things finally looked up again, they came crashing back down.

“… what if what happened in the lounge happens again?” Luz asks as softly as she can.

To her surprise, Gus pipes up. “Then you try again, if you want to. Sometimes friends fight, but if you’re really friends, you’ll find a way to be on each other’s side in the end.”

Luz has to wonder if Gus is speaking from his own experiences. Maybe he’s more mature than he lets on, no doubt thanks to Willow’s influence.

“You never talked about Amity much, Luz. How close were you?” Willow asks.

“Funny you should ask.” Luz snickers quietly. “We did everything together the first year of high school. I told you guys that if I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to her, and I wasn’t really exaggerating. Occasionally she’d be off with other friends I think her parents forced her to hang out with, but every other time it was just her and I rambling about Azura or torturing ourselves with homework.”

Her friends stay silent. “You guys are great and I love you, I want you to know that. You’ve always been here for me, but up until now, I could only talk to you online. Though that’s not anyone’s fault, of course.” She silently hopes Willow and Gus understand that she loves them just as much as they seem to love her. They can’t ever be replaced or even superseded.

“Amity was my friend too, but I could see or talk to her even more often. We liked all the same fanfics, all the same movies, even some of the same video games. Whenever I was sad, she’d cheer me up with a funny story about her siblings pissing off her parents.” Luz sighs softly, remembering the simpler times.

“I didn’t have anyone else like her ‘in real life’; she was my fa-” she cuts herself off, half intentionally, upon realizing where her thoughts are going again. She searches for the right words to steer her thoughts away from that pit again.

“… she was my best friend. For a time, until we fell apart.” She stops again, waiting for her friends to say something, anything instead of leaving that sentence to dangle there. When no answer comes, she hastily squeaks out “But you guys already know that part, haha.”

Willow and Gus both nod silently. Then Willow single-handedly derails Luz’ entire thought process with a single sentence.

“You don’t hide it very well, Luz.” she smiles, playfully raising an eyebrow.

Losing focus, cover blown. Her cheeks go red as her thoughts turn to mush, so she lowers her head to hide it all.

“… is it that obvious?” Luz asks without looking up at her friends.

“I know what you are.” Gus teases, making Luz’ face heat up even more. Willow shoots him a jokingly-annoyed look, to which he responds with a shrug. She sighs and turns back to Luz.

“If I had to guess, I’d say you still want to be friends with Amity at the very least. It doesn’t have to be right now, but I wouldn’t put off talking to her again. She didn’t talk to you for almost two years, and it devastated you. It wouldn’t be fair to make her wait just as long to hear from you.”

Luz sighs. “You’re right… as always, Willow. I’m gonna talk to her, I… I just don’t know when. It was already hard enough to talk to her pre-lounge, and now we’re back to square zero again. How do I know she even wants to talk to me now? For all I know she could want nothing to do with me, just like I thought she did wh-“

“Breathe, Luz.” Willow stops her latest spiral with a small reminder and a wave of the hand. “Remember the trick we showed you.”

Luz pauses, nods, and takes in a deep breath, counting to four with her fingers. Then she counts back to one, breathing out and lowering each finger in sequence. She does it once again, and slowly feels her thought process slow down and return to normal.

“Thanks, Willow. I’ll… take some time first. I know I shouldn’t make her wait, but I think I still need to cool off. If I go to her now I’ll just end up throwing my anger at her.”

“Sounds like a solid plan. Call me crazy but I have a feeling you’ll end up with a better outcome than I did.” Willow chuckles softly. Luz frowns, though, recognizing that there’s probably a fair bit of sadness behind that sentence.

“We should probably get back to this stupid lab report, you guys. It’s almost six and we haven’t eaten dinner yet. Why did we come here so close to dinner again?” Gus questions.

Luz laughs. “Why don’t we go eat then? We can come back and finish the report after that.”

Willow and Gus agree, and the three begin packing up to leave. Once all their laptops are safely in their bags and the outlines less gracefully crumpled and packed away in mocking defiance, the three get up and head back to the front of the library.

On their way, Luz notices a streak of silver dash behind one of the shelves of books. Internally explaining it away as one of those things people just see  out of the corner of their eye sometimes, she continues on silently.

~~~~

After a decent dinner spent absentmindedly coming up with answers for some of the report questions, the three head back down the hill to the library. It’s warm out, but Luz insists on wearing her jacket while Willow and Gus bombard her with theories to explain how she isn’t overheating constantly.

Gus enthusiastically opens the door for the others and the three head back towards their previous table. What greets them, though, is the sight of three people inhabiting said table, scrolling through their phones without a care in the world.

Luz stops her friends as soon as she gets a glimpse of the one’s hair color.

“Boscha.” she says quietly. Unfortunately, the other person seems to notice them nonetheless.

“Noceda! Welcome to the library!” they say with a callous smirk. The façade drops nearly as soon as it’s put on. “Didn’t think you spent much time here in favor of sitting in your dorm all day.”

Luz doesn’t respond. That same familiar anger from the lounge is bubbling up again, but there’s too many people here compared to that small sectioned-off space. The best option is to ju-

“What’s she  doing here?” Willow whispers to Luz, and Luz notices that she’s become locked in a staring contest with the pink-haired demon.

Confused, Luz decides it’s best to just get away from this. “We’re leaving. Now.” she grumbles, as she pushes her friends back with extended arms. She catches a small glimpse of Amity, and notices the dejected, weary look on her face. If anything, it looks like she really didn’t plan this meeting, or even want to be a part of it.

“Sorry for taking your table!~” Boscha hollers with a playful tone that makes Luz want to wring their neck. She doesn’t pay them any attention, hoping one of the librarians scolds them for yelling. Chances of that sound slim, though.

As Luz leads her friends away from the situation, she notices the looks plastered on their faces as well. Something doesn’t seem right. Willow is noticeably tense, and Gus seems hesitant to even look at her. Risking the entire rest of the evening for an answer, she slowly decides to ask Willow something.

“Are you okay, Willow? Was it something they said? I could go back and-”

“Not right now, Luz.” Willow breathes out. Her tone isn’t angry, just… upset?

Luz doesn’t press the issue further. They could finish the report sometime tomorrow; the next chem class is the day after that. Plenty of time for everyone to cool down.

She forgets all about Amity as she walks her friends back to their dorm. She doesn’t know if that’s where they want to go, but none of them say anything as they walk. When they reach the co-ed dorms, Luz speaks up again.

“I’m sorry about that. I don’t want my problems with them bleeding into our time together, but they keep showing up  wherever we are. It’s like they’re-” Luz stops cold.

Had they been followed? Maybe one of the others knew the three of them were in the library. Are they intentionally trying to cause problems with her and her friends? Maybe they knew they were in the lounge as well! Something’s up here.

Willow sighs as Luz runs through more questions in her head. “Don’t worry about it, Luz. We’ll handle them if they cause more trouble. Right now, I just want to take a shower and cool off. Gus and I will text you tomorrow morning to see how you are, okay?”

Luz nods after a moment and waves her friends off as they escape into their dorm. As she walks upstairs to her own dorm, she thinks back on how Amity looked at the library. If Amity was still hanging around Boscha and the other one willingly, why did she look so miserable? Unlike the lounge incident, though, she didn’t even try and step into the fight this time.

Amity always ended up playing mediator to Luz and Boscha when they fought. Being friends with two people who hated every fiber of each other’s being definitely wasn’t easy; trying to balance hanging out with her and Boscha must’ve been absolute hell. Amity never once complained though, no matter how much Luz and Boscha sparred.

She thinks back to what Willow said. She doesn’t exactly have the full story, that much is true, but it doesn’t mean she magically feels no animosity towards her former friend anymore. There’s so much more to this than Willow knows, but she does  seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff. Luz wasn’t lying: she’ll talk to Amity whenever she feels ready. Just not right now.

~~~~

Luz steps up to door of her dorm and begins fumbling with her keys. However, she’s interrupted by a buzz from her phone, and opens it to a text from her mother.

Mamí (7:03): Hola cariño!  How’s school going? Did you find a job yet? I know we said we wouldn’t rush it but all the good jobs might be gone if you wait much longer. Text me back, cuídate mucho, mija, te quiero!  <3

A job. Right, she did  promise her mother that sometime before she left. The fact her mother remembered draws a slight bit of annoyance from Luz (“School feels like enough of a job on its own.”), but considering her mother paid a lot  to let her live on campus at all, it’s only right that she try and return the favor somehow.

Tomorrow morning, she’ll start finding places to apply to.

Notes:

hi! we finally hit 20K words!!!! and only six chapters in, wow. is that a lot for six chapters???

I was gonna have a Christmas-themed gustholomule fic out by christmas eve but I ended up falling asleep at my desk friday afternoon so that uh. that didn’t happen. will it still happen? maybe! idk. if that one-shot doesn’t come to fruition, the next chapter of affection will be up by new years day, and we’ll keep going weekly from then on! hope to see you there!

if you have thoughts or criticisms, let me know!!! i love seeing what people think about my work <3

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 7: the coffee zone

Summary:

Luz gets a job at a small coffee shop near the campus.

Notes:

mackenzie write a coffee shop AU ep without making a coffee shop AU challenge

Track 07: The Coffee Zone by fearofdark

*No track playing*

Luz wakes up the next morning to an empty dorm. Her roommate apparently found somewhere else to spend the night after the library incident, no shock there.

The anger from earlier has flickered out again like a candle choked with its own smoke. At best, she feels content to lie there, sprawled out half under the covers, and think.

They’ve done this song and dance once before, and it only ended when Luz decided to end it. She finds herself in the same situation, having the power to end this squabbling but not knowing exactly when or even how  to do it. Last time was a total improvisation, and though it went well enough at first, she needs a plan this time, lest she end up having to do this a third  time.

Any thoughts of that variety peter out when she remembers the text from her mother. Her first priority should be to scroll through the campus’ job listings and apply to a few as a start. Her mother’s advice of “apply to as many as possible and one is sure to say yes” clashes with her not-yet-parent’s “working sucks and having a job is overrated” mantra, but she promised her mother she’d do this.

Eventually, she sees a listing for a barista at a small coffee shop just off the campus grounds. It doesn’t pay the best but it looks like slightly less of a hassle compared to being a student librarian or waiting tables at some chain restaurant that must be paying the school a decent sum for the numerous server ads Luz sees on her scroll.

She ends up applying to all three. Mission accomplished! Now to wait for a response.

She gets out of bed and tidies up the room a bit, arranging the clothes in her dresser and finally throwing out the empty stick of deodorant she’d left in the wardrobe. Her reward is a homemade iced coffee, complete with enough chocolate syrup to drown out most of the coffee taste.

As she returns to her bed, sugary caffeine concoction in hand, she opens her e-mail to a resounding three messages. The shock and awe of having answers so soon fades when they turn out to be automated replies from the school website thanking her for her applications. Lovely.

The door opens, and her roommate returns, the ice from her own coffee rattling away as Amity seems to make a conscious effort to not  look at Luz.

For whatever reason, this upsets Luz, and she immediately discards any notion of a plan in favor of action.

“… hi.” is all she manages to say.

Amity, who’s since hunched over her bed and is in the process of rummaging through the clothes strewn across it while Luz was working up the energy to say one word, looks over her shoulder at the other girl. Luz can’t see her face, but assumes Amity must be making some kind of surprised-slash-confused expression.

“… hi.” is the only response Luz receives.

Just like that, she’s out of ideas for what to say. Their impersonal, imperfect greetings remain the only words spoken between them for the rest of the day.

~~~~

Luz wakes up the next day to a request for an interview from the coffee shop and the campus library. She wonders if the honest answer about how many pounds she can carry at once turned the restaurant off from her.

She hastily writes out two replies, setting up two different interviews this upcoming Friday. That gives her approximately one full day (today) to find an outfit worthy of a first impression to a hiring manager that likely doesn’t take that kind of thing into stock for jobs like these.

Gus, being the natural-born fashionista of the friend group, offers as much help as he can via Wizcord as Luz strolls the corridors of a clothing shop in a mall a few miles away from the campus. She settles on a really nice purple button-down shirt with dark blue jeans. As she passes a shoe store on the way back to her car, she silently decides she’s done enough public existing for one day, and makes a note to clean her nice pair of combat boots before the interviews.

~~~~

She returns to the commons after the second interview, ready for a quiet dinner alone in the dorm. The library said they’d call her back, but the coffee shop offered to hire her immediately. “Safer to take the job that actually wants me now”, she thinks, and promptly accepts… right before they turn around and ask her to work tomorrow. Just her luck; Saturday is her weekly game night with the Hexolios, so they’ll have to start late to account for Luz’ new schedule. She curses under her breath, but agrees to work that shift.

As she approaches the oh-so familiar entrance to the apartment-dorm, she hastily types out a message to Willow and Gus explaining the situation. She knows they’ll be fine with starting late, but asking them to work around her  schedule is still uncomfortable, even after so many years of poorly-planned online gaming sessions.

When she opens the door, her roommate is once-again sprawled out on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling. The sound of the door doesn’t startle her, but Luz speaking up does.

“Hey… I figured I should let you know that I got a job. So, if you want the dorm to yourself, I can post a copy of my schedule on the fridge for ya. Sound good to you?”

The words are effortlessly casual, as if there isn’t a huge pile of unsolved problems between them at all times. After the initial shock sets in, Amity returns to staring at the ceiling before responding with an unenthusiastic “Yeah, that sounds okay.”

Luz gives a slight nod and situates herself at her computer. Not content to print out a pixelated, oddly-low-quality scan of the schedule her boss arranged for her, she recreates it from scratch (with her own additions and color palette) and prints out that imitation instead, before tacking it onto the fridge with a snake magnet.

~~~~

She walks over to the shop the next evening, having been put on the late schedule. Apparently the shop is quieter towards the end of the day, making it ideal for training. At least, that’s what the boss said.

The one upside to being hired by a small business is that she knows her boss by name. Heck, she was interviewed by the boss himself. He was stern but seemed willing to accommodate Luz’ class schedule, putting her on the evening shift three days a week, and the morning shift on the one day she doesn’t have any classes until the afternoon.

Luz checks her phone as she walks up to the shop. It’s 3:29pm, meaning she’s perfectly on-time for her first day. Good first impressions are everything, after all.

*Begin Track 07: The Coffee Zone (set to loop)*

The boss greets her with a small, polite smile and a handshake reminiscent of the one exchanged during the interview. He speaks with a low, calm voice that does a lot to soothe Luz’ natural nerves. The man’s vividly-purple hair does end up serving as a bit of a distraction, though.

“Like I said yesterday, the shop isn’t usually as busy after the lunch rush, so it’s the perfect time to get you trained and ready to go. Hopefully  you find it pleasant enough to stay for more than two weeks.” he muses. Something about that last line worries Luz, but it’s way too early to be passing judgement like that. It’s only been two minutes!

The two walk over to the serving counter. Her boss casually knocks on the sleek marble-like surface, and a girl only an inch or two taller than Luz pops up from below, making the latter jump back a little in surprise.

“New recruit, eh? Guess that means I have to do  something this shift, damn. Anyway, you can call me Viney. Nice to meet ya.” The girl smiles and holds a hand out to Luz, who takes it despite the fact her head is still spinning from the quick pace of the girl’s speaking voice.

No sooner than pleasantries are exchanged does another employee come rushing into the shop, a purple apron slung over his shoulder instead of tied around his clothes. “Sorry I’m late Darius,” he pants, “I almost got caught up in a traffic accident down the street. People barely know how to drive anymore, it sucks.” His lanky features stick out to Luz, as does his voice.

Darius sighs audibly and rolls his eyes. “No worries Jerbo, just… please  try and be on time tomorrow.” Jerbo nods and ties the apron around his waist. As Luz watches him, Darius silently slips away and returns with an apron of her own.

“Standard dress code applies to you too, of course. Not that you would’ve known-” he looks up at the ceiling and mutters “-because I forgot to tell you.” This gets a small chuckle out of Luz.

“Lose the combat boots Monday, though. Too rough on the floors.” he adds sternly.

Luz responds with a hearty “Yes, sir.” and a salute. Darius offers a smile in return. It distracts Luz just long enough for her to forget to question how her boots could hurt the floor in any way.

Before long, Viney is showing her the different machines strewn around the counter somewhat haphazardly. Jerbo interjects occasionally, offering small tips and tricks to get the machines to do what they’re told when they “misbehave”. Sometimes Luz thinks she hears clattering in the back store room, but before she can ask about it, Viney is already explaining the next machine.

They start her off at the counter, taking orders from a few random people as they come in over the first hour or so of her shift. Viney or Jerbo steps in when a machine decides to try and screw her over, but thankfully none of the orders are too complicated. She thinks back to some of the nightmare orders Willow told her about during her own stint at a coffee shop in high school.

As hour two passes, the number of orders she’s fulfilled rounds out to an unimpressive… five. “Darius sure wasn’t kidding when he said it’s slower in the afternoon.”  Luz thinks at various points.

The mundanity of the afternoon is (thankfully?) broken when the three of them hear a crashing sound from the store room. Luz, fueled with curiosity after two hours of the small noises has nearly driven her to insanity, is the first to enter.

What she finds is a tall boy with blonde hair sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes of what looks like bags of coffee beans, with some having breached containment and ended up in a pile near his feet.

Luz takes stock of the situation and walks over, avoiding any stray beans. “Need a hand?” she asks politely. To her surprise, the boy scoffs and waves her off.

“No, miss, I can handle this myself. Just a slight hiccup. Return to the order counter.” he demands.

Luz’s expression twists. “Who does this kid think he is, talking to me like he’s my boss?”  she wonders, but before she can protest, Darius walks in behind her.

“Hunter?! What happened here?!”

As soon as the boy sees Darius, his entire demeanor changes. His head drops, and his voice is barely half as audible as it was when Luz offered to help him.

“I-I’m sorry Darius, I was trying to move these boxes of coffee beans a-and I-“

Darius pinches the bridge of his nose as he interrupts Hunter. “Don’t.” After a few seconds of silence, the annoyance in his voice slips off as he looks at the kid on the floor, and he sighs. “It’s alright, Hunter. Just… clean this up. Log the unusable bags in the inventory listing, I’ll have to order more tonight.”

“Right.” Hunter mumbles. As Darius leaves, he taps Luz on the shoulder and signals for her to follow. Before she does, she looks back at the boy, who hasn’t moved since Darius scolded him. When he notices, the spark instantly returns to his mood, and he shoots Luz a biting glare. She raises an eyebrow back at him before leaving the kid to his self-inflicted mess.

Darius stops her as she leaves the store room. “I see you’ve met your third coworker. His name’s Hunter, as you heard. He doesn’t really like interacting with people, so he usually works in the store room keeping things in check.”

Something in his voice changes as he continues. “I try to give him a… wide berth. He’s not the easiest to deal with… but as long as he needs somewhere to go, I’ll have a place for him here.”

Luz doesn’t respond immediately. Darius doesn’t look at her, but she searches his expression for what he’s actually  saying. He talks about Hunter as if they’re family, but their only interaction that she’s witnessed doesn’t give the same impression. Clearly it’s a complicated situation for both of them, so she resolves to not question it. She offers Darius a slight nod and returns to the counter.

She and Viney get along fairly well, and they end up spending most of the shift working together, even if Luz doesn’t talk much.

“Y’know Luz, you’ve got a really good memory.” Viney says in between some orders. “I usually look at the order slip two or three times just to make sure I’m not forgetting something, but you haven’t done that once. All your orders have been correct though! How do you do it?”

Luz goes a little red in the face and awkwardly fidgets with her hands. “Well, I mean, I-I don’t really think too much about it.” she sputters. When she realizes the implications of that sentence, she waves her hands in front of her and course-corrects. “N-Not that I don’t think much, I do! I’m always thinking about something!”

Viney laughs when Luz decides to stop rambling. “Chill out Luz, I was only complimenting you. You’re doing really well for your first day! Better than Jerbo did on his first, at least.”

Jerbo raises an eyebrow. “I resent that.” he huffs. Viney raises two thumbs up and offers a sly smile in response, to which Jerbo waves his hand and returns to reorganizing the sandwiches in the case under the counter.

Towards the early evening, business picks up a little. A few students from Hexside come in and order late dinners, presumably after their last class of the afternoon or before their late evening lecture. It’s nowhere near a rush, but it’s more engaging than the end of the afternoon had been. Luz puts her “good memory” to use, fulfilling orders almost as soon as they’re placed.

Around 7pm, Darius steps out of the closet he calls his office and addresses Luz. “Normally, Viney and Jerbo take their breaks one after the other. Since it’s slow, you can take your break now with Viney or wait ‘til 7:30 and take it with Jerbo. Your choice.”

Luz pauses in the middle of making a latte thingy for the current customer. She doesn’t know either of them very well, Jerbo even less so than Viney, and immediately fears the awkwardness of her and someone else silently eating dinner together while the third, whoever it ends up being, stands watch over the counter alone.

Luckily, Viney ends up making the decision for her. “C’mon Luz, we’ll go on break together. Jerbo can handle the traffic for now, probably.” she says in a confident tone of voice. Once again, she looks over at her lanky coworker, and the two share a wordless glance. Luz runs through fifty or so different analyses of their relationship as she follows Viney to the small break room.

There’s a garden variety plastic table with some metal folding chairs situated around it, accompanied by an old, boxy CRT television and a microwave sitting on another plastic table of the same design. Luz doesn’t recognize the show that Viney puts on, but she surely won’t be asking for control of the remote on her first day, so she doesn’t object.

Luz pulls the tiny frozen dinner she packed for herself out of her Azura lunchbox and tosses it into the microwave. Normally she’d be mortified to even bring the box out in public, but she didn’t really have much of a choice. The entire time she and Viney eat dinner, she fears being questioned about her odd taste in lunchbox craftsmanship, but the question never comes up.

Instead, Viney occasionally asks Luz about herself. The easy stuff, really: where she’s from, what she’s going to school for, what she thinks of college life. Each answer is long enough to avoid any follow-ups from her coworker, but short and concise enough to end the awkwardness faster.

Luz notices how calm Viney is during dinner. While she’s sitting there wracked with nerves over interacting with another person in an isolated room, Viney is totally chill and pleasant. There’s not a hint of nervousness in her voice, nor does she ever question Luz’ own frayed demeanor.

As 7:30pm approaches, the two throw away their trash, and Viney shuts off the TV. “Darius hates it when I leave it on all shift.” she explains, Luz refusing to ask her to elaborate on that history. As Luz goes to leave, though, Viney stops her.

“Hey, you seemed a bit nervous the entire time we were eating. If my questions were, like, intrusive or anything, I want to know so I can apologize.” she says softly.

Luz is taken aback. If Viney was worried about putting her off, it sure didn’t stop her from asking those questions in the first place. Nevertheless, Luz thinks on it for another second and realizes Viney was probably just trying to make her more comfortable.

“Nah, you didn’t bother me or anything. I just get kinda awkward sometimes.” Luz chuckles a little. “Well, most of the time, really.”

Viney nods. “I feel that hard. It’s not easy interacting with people. Hell, it took me a long time before I was comfortable talking to Jerbo about anything besides work stuff. It’s actually why I got a job here, to get better at talking to people.”

“Huh.” Luz says. “Did it work?”

“What do you think?” Viney asks, flipping the question back on her. The entire shift so far, Viney’s been nothing but friendly and helpful, always willing to tell her exactly what each machine does.

“Well, I never would’ve figured you used to be quiet and awkward like me.” Luz says, the words being a little more blunt than she envisioned in her head. Viney doesn’t take it poorly.

“It took a while. I’ve been working here for two years now, and sometimes I still don’t think I’m doing it right. But there really isn’t a right or wrong way to learn to talk to people; you just gotta learn to do it, I think. For all I know, maybe you took this job for the same reason! I didn’t ask you that yet, huh?”

Luz laughs for real this time. “Nah, I took it for the money. And ‘cuz I promised my mamí  I would.”

“Both valid reasons, definitely.” Viney replies with a smile. “We should go see how Jerbo’s doing now, huh?”

“Yeah, we should.” Luz answers with a genuine smile of her own.

~~~~

The two return to the counter just in time to see someone exiting the store. Luz notices their silvery hair just as they disappear from view. Something about that fires up her suspicion and her nerves at the same time.

Jerbo turns around to see them, and then takes a look at Luz’ face. She switches her attention from her thoughts to the guy staring her down and naturally raises an eyebrow, but before she can question him, he nods and mutters something.

“What was that about?” Luz asks him, eyebrow still firmly raised in confusion.

“Oh, nothing. That last customer asked if we had someone working here that looks like you.” he responds in a monotone voice.

“… and what exactly did you tell them?”

“That someone matching that description began their first shift today. It’s not like we work in a mental hospital or something.” he says dryly. Luz inhales and then exhales loudly.

“Of course.” she mutters.

“What is it?” Viney asks.

“Oh, nothing much. Just a preview of things to come, I’m sure.” Luz mutters.

Neither Viney nor Jerbo questions further. As Jerbo silently leaves for his own break, Viney puts a reassuring hand on Luz’ shoulder. In that moment, Luz feels a spark of confidence. If Viney can overcome her fear of talking to people, surely Luz can handle whatever comes at her tonight.

~~~~

Her chance to prove it to herself comes at the very end of her shift.

As the clock on the wall shows 9:57pm, Luz and her coworkers are cleaning up the shop for the night. Luz scrubs the counter with disinfectant wipes, Viney takes the unsold sandwiches and baked goods to the store room, and Jerbo cleans the coffee machines out.

To the surprise of both Viney and Jerbo but not Luz, the bell above the entrance chimes as the glass door is pushed open. The trio of students walks up to the counter, but Luz continues wiping, intentionally paying them no mind.

The tallest flips their pink hair behind their shoulder and crosses their arms, the same old devilish smirk adorning their stupid face. Luz finally looks up at them, putting on the best “I really don’t care what you try and do right now” expression of amusement that she can muster.

“Y’know, I think it’s sooo  sad that people have to work while they attend school just to afford it. Shame that not all of us are as privileged as the rest, huh Noceda?”

“What do you want?” Luz groans. She notices Amity and the third one casually seated at one of the tables, presumably waiting for Boscha to finish whatever they're attempting to do. Amity doesn’t look as sullen as she did at the library, but her posture is anything but an indication of good mental health.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Boscha hisses back. They intentionally  (as far as Luz is concerned) stare at the order board for what feels like minutes. Viney grabs a piece of paper and a pen to take the order, but Boscha only addresses Luz when they talk.

“Tell you what, Noceda. It’s the end of your shift, clearly, so I’ll make it easy on you.” They place their elbows rudely on the counter and rest their head on their hands, smiling incessantly. “I’ll take a large iced macchiato with oat milk. None of that cow udder shit. Two pumps of caramel swirl, four sugars, and make it four  shots of espresso instead of three. Light on the ice too, I don’t want my drink watered-down. And make it snappy, the girls and I are having a late-night study sesh, so I need the energy ASAP, y’know?”

Viney scribbles down the order and hands the paper to Luz. Without even looking at it, she crumples the paper up and tosses it over her shoulder onto the floor.

“Let’s see how good my memory really is.” Luz says with her own smirk. Viney goes to protest, but Luz fires up the espresso machine and gets to work immediately. They hear Jerbo grumble about how he’ll need to clean it out again, but ignore him.

As she gets the coffee beans roasting for the espresso, she grabs a plastic cup from the counter and dolls it up with vanilla syrup, a splash of oat  milk, and a less-than-ideal amount of ice for how warm it still is tonight.

Boscha removes themself from the counter and harumphs as they step back, observing Luz’ every move with visibly-overexaggerated contempt and skepticism.

Once the coffee is finished roasting, Luz immediately dumps it onto the awaiting vanilla milk and ice mixture. Without missing a beat, she places the coffee on the counter and quickly grabs the sugar. She mixes enough sugar and water for four servings of liquid sugar, knowing granulated sugar won’t dissolve in iced coffee. She could easily  “forget” this and force Boscha to live with a gritty coffee, but she’s here to prove something to herself, not to flame Boscha.

Viney notices Boscha inspecting the unfinished cup and glares at them before returning to watching Luz work her magic. Seeing Luz dance around the kitchen is quite the sight.

She finishes the coffee off with four servings of the liquified sugar and two circular swirls of caramel sauce. With a spin and a quick movement of her hands, she grabs a lid and a straw from the back counter and closes up the hellish concoction before handing it to Boscha with a smile.

“Here’s your poison. I mean perfect drink. Enjoy!” she gloats.

Boscha takes the drink and turns it around in their hands before slowly taking a sip. The look on their face when they swallows says everything to Luz: it’s perfect, but Boscha would never adm-

“It’s perfect.”

“What?”

Luz stands there staring at them. The words don’t process in her head until Boscha speaks up again.

“I-I mean-“ Boscha stutters as they go red in the face. “…I thought for sure you’d fuck this up somehow.”

“So you did  come here to watch me fail at something again. Nice try.” Luz simply glares at them, not giving an inch. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.” Then, she opens the cash register and taps the counter with a smirk. “That’ll be $5.99.”

Boscha grumbles something and pulls the money out of their wallet before nearly slamming it onto the counter. Luz counts it out and stows it in the cash register before dropping a single penny onto the space between them.

“Now get the hell out of here.”  Luz spits out icily.

Luz looks over at Amity. The expression on her face is nearly unreadable at a distance, but Luz could swear that Amity’s smiling in some capacity.

Boscha clicks their tongue and turns away from Luz. “Don’t think this means anything, Noceda.” they mutter, just barely loud enough for Luz to hear. And with that, they motion with their head to Amity and the other one to get up and leave with them.

As the shop empties out once again, Darius comes out of his office. “Why are all of you still here? Your shift ended five minutes ago.”

Viney throws an arm around Luz, who smiles and leans into it a little. “Luz here was just kicking the butt of some bitchy customer. Looked super slick doin’ it too, boss man.”

Darius raises an eyebrow and turns to Luz. “Seems like you did pretty well for yourself today, Luz. I look forward to seeing you back here Monday afternoon.”

Luz nods. “I’ll be here.” she beams.

“Now, if you would… clean this place up so we can go home close  to on-time.” Darius says with just a tinge  of annoyance in his voice. Luz and her coworkers oblige, cleaning the espresso machine in record time.

On her way out, Luz passes the table Amity and the other one were sitting at. There’s a piece of paper sitting on it, evidently left here by one of the two. It’s an advertisement for a rollerdisco night at the local indoor skate park. She has to wonder if the three are planning on attending.

Then she gets an idea.

If what she thinks is true, and the Grudgby Team is going to this thing, then it’d be the perfect  time to show up Boscha for good. Tonight was a win, but it still started out with Boscha in the top spot. Having knocked them down a peg, this is her chance to finally get Boscha out of the picture for good.

~~~~

When she gets back to the commons, she meets Willow and Gus in their dorm and immediately shows them the poster. They seem a bit taken aback, but agree to join Luz for the event. It's just two weeks away; they’re gonna need time to work on their moves.

Notes:

heyo! this chapter is really long. probably too long. whoops! but i legit had a lot of fun writing it. i know coffee shop AUs are a funny meme but having luz get boscha’s really stupid order perfectly right was an idea i really wanted to write out. wtf is amity doin tho

i know you guys were prolly expecting this to solely be a lumity-focused fic based on how much I keep dragging out their dramatic stuff but i really wanted this to be just as much of a slice-of-life “first year of college with new experiences all around” thing. i promise lumity is gonna be a bigger part of this as we go on, but i hope these more slice-of-life-y chapters are fun to read too. they’re fun for me at least!

the end of the luz v boscha arc is approaching! they’ve both won a battle, but next chapter, someone’s gonna win the war. see you soon!

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Chapter 8: rollerdisco rumble

Summary:

Luz and Co. challenge the Grudgby Team to a rollerdisco battle.

Notes:

hey yall, bit of an early update but i was really eager to get this chapter written since i started it on wednesday. ch9 has a really small chance of making it out this week as well, but we’ll see if i feel like working on it after this.

Track 08: Feblu by Flughand
Track 09: Rollerdisco Rumble by Vince Kaichan
Track 10: Sageless by Lifeformed + Janice Kwan (chiptune cover by Christerious)

*Begin Track 08 – Feblu (set to loop)*

Luz and Gus work on a few moves as Willow sits outside the rink on one of the benches. It’s been around two hours, and while Willow has tapped out, the two remaining friends are anything but ready to stop.

As Gus works on perfecting his spin, Luz rolls over to the wall and waves to Willow. She gets off the bench, walking over without her roller skates on.

“You two almost ready to go? It’s close to five, I’d like to go get some dinner soon.” Willow asks.

“Yeah, we’re basically done. Gus wants to get this spin down pat before we’re free to go though.” Luz chirps. However, the slight downturn of Willow’s usual calm smile catches Luz’ eye, and she stops Willow before she can return to the bench.

“What’s on your mind, wildflower?” she asks quietly.

“Hm…” Willow hums. Luz notices the lack of eye contact as she does so. Eventually she continues.

“… it’s, well… this.” She makes a circle motion with her arms. “We’ve done a few off-the-wall things before, but never something like this. You’re the first  person to tell me you don’t like loud, crowded events, but you look really excited for this one.” she says, almost as quietly as Luz had spoken.

Luz cocks an eyebrow. Willow’s right, as always: it’s highly unlikely for her to be pumped up before an event that directly goes against her “loud crowds scary” mentality. Of course, she  knows why she’s excited, but she didn’t exactly tell her friends she expects to show Boscha up during the disco.

Willow has since switched from not looking at Luz to staring her directly in the eyes. She’s gotten good at reading Luz’ expressive face over the last few weeks spent together.

“Okay, you’ve got me.” Luz admits with a huff. “I pulled you guys into this because…”

She pauses, not making eye contact with her friend. Her mind switches to autopilot as an explanation tumbles out of her.

“… Boscha’s going to this event too, and I want to show them up if they do. The coffee knocked them down a peg, but this will get then off our backs for good. I can’t stand  how they keep showing up at places we frequent.” Luz grumbles.

Willow expression shifts. Luz feels like she’s staring through her moreso than at her, as if to say “There’s something else going on here, and I know it.”

She looks back at her friend. Willow’s expression has changed again, to one of determination rather than suspicion. “… then I suppose we’d better be on our ‘A’ game next week, don’t’cha think?” she remarks with a slight smile and a raised fist.

The idea of taking on the pink-haired demon in front of a crowd of people seems to perk Willow up. Although she’s not going to question it out loud, there’s something hiding behind that small half-smile that Luz can’t help but recognize. This is personal  for Willow, and now that she knows about Boscha, Luz doesn’t just see a small flame, but a hint of regret as well.

Something’s up. The pieces are all there, but Luz can’t exactly put them together in the moment.

What Willow says next, though, snaps Luz out of her thoughts and sends her into a mini panic.

“That’s all this is about then? Getting Boscha to back off?” Willow asks, something about her tone hinting to Luz that she knows more than she’s letting on.

Luz stands silently, eyes darting around and hands beginning to fidget again. “There’s nothing else to this.”  she tells herself, though for some reason, she doesn’t entirely believe herself.

“There’s nothing else going on.” Luz states as confidently as she can, which turns out to be not very. Willow doesn’t seem convinced, but doesn’t push further. When she sighs and nods back, Luz lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

As Gus skates over to them, Luz pushes her thoughts down again and smiles as he performs a perfect spin in front of the two. With smiles and high-fives exchanged, the three soon depart for dinner somewhere in town.

~~~~

A few days before the event, Luz notices Amity looking at a poster for it in their dorm. The sight confirms the entire  Grudgby Team will be there, and the thought setting in makes Luz shiver.

The same question she’s asked herself hundreds of times now pops into her mind. Why is Amity so intent on hanging out with Boscha and the other one, even when all it seems to do is make her miserable? If Amity wasn’t lying and actually did fall out with them, why are they “friends” again?

Luz swats the questions away like they’re a swarm of gnats. There’s no turning back now. Everything has fallen into place. The only thing left is to execute the plan. She’s determined to put Boscha in her place, once and for all… no matter what the fallout ends up being.

~~~~

The Hexolios show up at the skating rink right before the main event kicks off.

Luz takes in the surroundings once the overstimulation subsides (for the most part). It’s definitely what she expected: loud music, flashing lights, and tons  of people.

Luz immediately notices how loud it is. Normally this would lead to an instant “nope” from her on its own, and she’d drag her friends to somewhere much more lowkey. Not tonight, though.

The flashing lights force her to strain her eyes as they adjust. Willow rubs her eyes, no doubt because of the contacts she’s wearing instead of her normal glasses. Gus, as always, is dancing around with astounding panache. He always did have a flair for the flamboyant.

She looks around, wondering if there’s any chance of seeing bright pink hair floating around. Boscha’s pretty tall, so finding them shouldn’t be much of a challenge, but Luz finds it difficult amidst all the talking heads. There’s too much movement to make out any one person.

Gus waves them over to the outer wall of the rink. A few people have already begun strolling and dancing around the wide open space, no doubt to the annoyance of the organizers and up-keepers of the facility.

Willow places a hand on Luz’ shoulder, and when their eyes meet again, a silent gesture of reassurance that everything will be okay is shared between them.

When the bell sounds, the gates open, and a flood of people rushes the dance floor.

All three spend some time getting their bearings as others pass them at lightspeed. Attempting to pull off sweet dance moves while your feet are constantly at the mercy of the wheels beneath them (and your own balance) isn’t really the easiest thing for anyone that isn’t named Augustus.

Half an hour passes, and Luz barely even remembers why they came here. She’s having a great time just goofing off with her friends and dancing badly to songs that definitely wouldn’t make the Top 100 charts today. It’s been a while since she’s felt so light, the smile on her face easily giving this away to her friends.

Luz falls over at one point, and Willow helps her up, both laughing at the circumstances. Seeing Willow’s smile never fails to boost Luz’ mood, as she’s quickly realizing. Gus cheekily flashes a heart sign with his hands when he sees their hands locked together; both girls stick their tongues out and wave him off, resulting in another round of guffaws.

Then, the floodgates open, and all the thoughts come rushing in as Luz hears a snide scoff from somewhere behind her and her friends.

Sure enough, the Grudgby Team has arrived. Or maybe they were here the entire time and felt like now was the perfect time to strike. Either way, Luz almost  finds herself too caught up in the excitement to even bother with the plan right now. Only when she hears the pink-haired demon speak does her flame return.

“The dance floor is for dancing, not for falling, Noceda!” they shout over the music. Luz barely hears them, but can figure out what they’re saying from context alone.

“Don’t go fishing today Boscha, you won’t catch anything!” Luz snaps back. If Boscha heard her, they don’t react. Instead, they simply cross their arms and flash a toothy grin.

“Well, you and I both know what we’re here for, huh? So why don’t we get this started?”

“Wait, what?”  Luz thinks. Then, she thinks about how she found the poster. There’s no way it wasn’t left there intentionally, of course. Boscha’s still one step ahead of her, even when they’re neck and neck.

Either way, the opportunity has arisen, and Luz intends to take it. She hesitates when she sees the rest of the team behind Boscha: Amity, looking unnaturally calm and neutral, and the third one somehow managing to not  look at her phone this time.

“Fine, do your worst!” Luz shouts as a smile creeps onto her face. She’s gonna enjoy  this.

“With pleasure.” Boscha sneers. As soon as they say that, they throw a hand up in the air, and a small space clears between the warring factions. The entire vibe of the arena changes.

The loud music fades out entirely. The multicolored lights are replaced with solid blue and green ones, no doubt to compliment Boscha’s vivid pink mop. The surrounding crowd murmurs among itself, having quickly sized up that some kind of throwdown is upon them.

After a dramatic pause for effect, Boscha snaps their fingers.

“It’s showtime!”

*Begin Track 09 – Rollerdisco Rumble*

Hi-hats ramp up to the start of the song. Boscha and their team snap their fingers in time with the song, slowly rolling towards the Hexolios. The three find themselves backed against the arena wall. Nothing to do but watch as the Grudgby Team goes to work.

Just as the song picks up, Boscha does a twirl and escapes behind Amity and the other one. The three dance around each other with small flourishes thrown in on the upbeats. While the others show off for a spell, Luz and her friends stand there unimpressed, waiting for their turn to respond with some moves of their own. They’re ready for this.

The intro repeats itself, and the Hexolios take their chance. Luz and Willow start strolling forward, clapping to the beat as a mirror to the other team, Gus, however, follows behind; on the first upbeat, he claps to Luz’ side, and on the next, Willow’s. The three repeat until they’re nearly face to face with other team, each member sizing up one of their opponents.

The song picks up again. Boscha and their squad don’t so much as flinch as the Hexolios stride up to them. Luz and her friends split off, each dancing to a different part of the song. Luz bounces to the bass, Willow sways with the chords, and Gus jerks and jolts to the beat of the drums. It’s  bit awkward, but cool to them nonetheless.

In the midst of their routine though, the music takes a turn, and the Grudgby Team is once again in the spotlight. The Hexolios grind to a halt as the others circle them, each one bobbing up and down in sync with one another. The chords seem to get louder as Boscha dances to the insane melody that tries to overshadow them. As the song builds up to a resolution, Boscha and their lackies spin in their spots without breaking the moving ring. The Hexolios are boxed in.

Clearly they weren’t the only ones who practiced their moves beforehand.

Just as a loud crash takes over for a beat, Boscha jumps up straight in front of Luz and flashes another coy smile, accompanied by a wink. Luz recoils, sneers, and quickly rejoins her friends and the music cools down again.

“Had enough, Noceda?” Boscha quips, rolling up to Luz with their hips twisting to match her rhythm. Maybe they’re trying to throw her off, or maybe they’re just being annoying, but either way, Luz refuses to falter. She simply lets the bassline control her movements, finding a comfortable balance with Willow and Gus jamming behind her.

When the solo kicks in, Willow grabs Luz’ arm and the two dance together. Gus keeps just enough distance to remain part of the action without getting in the girls’ way. As Luz twirls Willow around, the two share a chuckle. Luz notices Boscha sneer and roll their eyes, giving Luz a rush of adrenaline.

Willow slows Luz down as the song cools off again. Gus strides over, but before they can continue on the offensive, a key change gives the Grudgby team another chance to make an impression.

The three casually sway to the chill beat of the song, never really connecting with each other in any way though. Luz takes note of how… disjointed the three of them are. They’re all performing the same arm pumps and leg sweeps, but totally separate from one another.

Luz decides now is the time to go head-to-head for real. She looks at her friends, who give her a thumbs-up, and the three begin dancing to the song once again, paying little attention to the other team. Occasionally, Luz notices them planning their next course of attack.

As the bass cuts off, Boscha shoots a glance at the others. They both nod, and when the bassline reenters the fray, Boscha and Amity lock arms. Luz immediately knows what they’re going for based on their shared cheerleading experience. So much for “disjointed”, it seems.

The bass returns, and Boscha and Amity begin dancing together. They slowly get closer and closer, building each other up with the song, and at one point Luz notices Boscha say something  to Amity. In turn, she picks Boscha up and twirls her around above her head like a baton. Either Boscha weighs less than ten pounds, or Amity’s been working out. She looks unstable, though.

Then, at one particular moment, as the song starts to ramp up again, Luz locks eyes with Amity. It’s a very brief moment, only lasting a split second, but when Luz takes in the look on her former friend’s face, it almost looks like she’s pleading with Luz to do something. Before she can even process the image, though, she’s halfway behind her friends as they prepare for their big finish.

As such, Luz doesn’t notice when her former friend and current rival end up on top of each other on the floor. Neither do most of the people in the crowd, who seem enamored with Luz and her friends as they get into position for whatever they have in store.

Luz rolls next to Gus and she and Willow each take one of Gus’ hands. He spins, Luz and Willow circling around him, swaying their free arms with the music. Then, in a similar manner to the others, Willow breaks off, and Gus and Luz begin spinning together. Willow offers a thumbs-up.

Gus scoops her up and hoists her above his head, keeping the spin going and making Luz only slightly  dizzy. His extra time spent practicing the spin paid off, though Luz thanks her lucky stars that Gus is also much stronger than he looks. It’s spectacular.

Finally, the song winds down again. Gus lets Luz down, and they all share a hearty laugh as the crowd watches on. With hands locked, the three bow and receive a rousing round of applause from the audience, something that nearly causes Luz to tear up. They’ve won the battle, and hopefully the war too.

They did it! Her and her friends just stood up to Boscha in the most elaborate way possible, in front of tons of people! There’s no way they’ll ever mess with the Hexolios again, not after this.

Or so she thinks, until she finally sees her friend and rival sitting on the floor in defeat.

Boscha, with their arms crossed and face twisted in anger, refuses to look anywhere near Luz, a win by all accounts. Next to them, though, is a visibly dejected Amity who looks close to tears herself. When she finally processes what Amity must’ve been trying to tell her, it’s clear that something’s gone horribly wrong, and not just the spin.

Luz breaks away from Gus’ hand and rolls closer to Amity. Before she can do anything more, however, Amity nearly jumps up from the floor, tears acutely visible on her cheeks as she flashes a very brief look at Luz. She soon disappears into the crowd of people as they return to their regular rollerdisco dancing, out of Luz’ sight.

Luz looks back at her friends. Neither of them look all too thrilled anymore; Gus is putting on a clearly fake smile, probably trying to cheer Luz up, but Willow’s expression is anything but jovial. That small flame Luz saw in her eyes earlier is gone.

She hesitantly rolls over to Willow, who only says “It’s not too late. Not yet.”

Everything around her starts to blend together as her thoughts swarm again. What did Boscha say to her before the spin? She wouldn’t need to ask Amity to do it if they’d planned their moves beforehand, so… maybe it was something else?

She really  should’ve talked to Amity before this.

With so much swirling around in her head at once, she gives a quick nod to Willow and burrows through the crowd to find her former friend.

~~~~

*Begin Track 10 – Sageless (set to loop)*

Luz finds herself outside the rink, having nearly ripped her roller skates off as soon as she passed the outer wall. She doesn’t bother grabbing her shoes, instead pushing past the few people not participating in the disco in a dazed attempt to find Amity.

Soon, she sees a small swatch of mint green through the sea of darker colors, heading towards the exit. Without a second thought, Luz rushes towards it, only to find Amity running through the glass doors and out onto the sidewalk. Luz runs after her, stopping when she finds her former friend leaning up against the outside of the building.

Luz approaches the girl slowly, but Amity turns away from her. She has her arms wrapped around herself; Luz can tell that she’s been crying.

“Amity, I-” she begins.

"Y-you what?” Amity sputters out.

“I-I’m sorry, I… I was only trying to get Boscha off my back, and-“

“That’s all this is about?” Amity asks, her tone incredulous. She turns around to face Luz and raises her voice. “That’s the only  thing you were thinking about? You want me to believe this wasn’t to get back at me for ‘lying’ to you?”

Luz goes silent.

“I told you I didn’t lie to you.” Amity continues, now looking at the sidewalk. “I only started talking to Boscha again because you  didn’t want to speak to me. I needed someone  to listen to me, and they were the only person that would. I know you never liked them, but they  tried. And now… now they don’t even want to see me because of this stupid battle you insisted on fighting with them!” she shouts at the ground.

Then Luz figures out what Boscha had said to Amity before the spin; unfortunately, it also gives her an answer to a lot of the questions surrounding their awkward friendship.

“They… said they wouldn’t talk to you if they lost, didn’t they? They’ve been dragging you around to prove that you’re their friend, like they’re… testing  your loyalty.” Luz mutters.

“And they’re not the only one.” Amity spits out. It burns Luz like venom.

“Wh… what?”

“Don’t pretend like you weren’t doing the same thing tonight! You…” Amity’s voice falters, and tears continue to fall as she tightens her hold on herself. “… you were trying to see if I’d choose them over you, just like they’ve been!”

Luz freezes in place. Then, in the midst of her thoughts, Amity says the last thing Luz ever wanted to hear from her.

“Neither  of you want me around, do you?”

The despair-ridden look on her face brands itself onto Luz’ memory.

Once again, Amity’s been caught in the middle of Luz and Boscha’s bickering. In the past, though, they had never asked Amity to choose between them once and for all.

Luz had sworn to herself that this wasn’t about Amity, but that seems like more and more of a lie as she realizes what kind of position she’s put her in with this stupid grudge match.

“Th-That’s not true!” Luz attempts to retort. Amity doesn’t move.

She could try and explain this to Amity, but is it even worth it? Amity isn’t likely to accept an explanation, not right now, so... what is she supposed to say?

All she wants now is for Amity to know that she regrets this. Not just tonight, but everything since their initial talk in the dorm a month ago. She should’ve talked to Amity, should’ve tried to reconnect for real, but she put it off, and their rocky relationship is even worse off now.

Even still, she wants  to try and fix it. She wants  to be friends again, no matter how unlikely it is.

“… I’m sorry. I hurt you, and even if I didn’t mean to… that’s not an excuse, I know, but… I-I seriously didn’t want things to end up like this. I wasn’t trying to test you, I just… didn’t know how to talk to you again. I wanted to, but… I couldn’t do it. Maybe I was scared, I don’t know.”

Luz starts fidgeting with her hands as she continues. “I should’ve talked to you before this, and I should’ve been there for you. I’m sorry… y-you don’t have to talk to me again if you don’t want to. I-I’ll ask for a room transfer, o-or…” she stammers.

It becomes harder and harder to get the words out. She just hopes Amity wants Luz back in her life after all this. If it doesn’t happen, though… at least she apologized for real.

Luz sniffles and wipes her eyes dry. “… I’m sorry, Amity. I’m so sorry for all of this.” she says weakly. There’s nothing else to say.

Amity looks up at her for a second, then back down at the floor. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Luz looks away, trying her hardest to keep from breaking down in public.

Finally, Amity says something again. “… I… I don’t know… I need time. I-I want to be friends, I really do… but we can’t keep dancing around each other like this. We need to be able to talk to each other… without feeling l-like the other hates us.”

There’s a tiny bit less sadness in her voice as she says this. “Maybe Amity believes me?”

Luz doesn’t do much more than nod and mumble “Okay.” As the two stand there, illuminated by the streetlights, the weight of the conversation hangs over them like a thick fog.

Eventually, Willow and Gus find them outside. They hand Luz her shoes, and she fumbles to put them on. Amity looks up at her one more time, but her expression is unreadable to Luz.

Without anything left to say, Luz follows her friends back to Willow’s car, and the three return to their dorms in silence.

~~~~

Amity doesn’t return to the dorm that night. Luz finds it difficult to fall asleep with her thoughts in such disarray. When she wakes up the next morning, the fog from last night hangs even lower when she realizes she’s alone.

She doesn’t do much the next day. Most of the time, she stays in bed, ambivalently scrolling through social media on her phone, listening to the radio beside her. Doing anything productive feels wrong. She begrudgingly eats a tiny lunch, but doesn’t respond to her friends’ offer of dinner.

As the sun sets, she wonders if Amity went to the housing office first. The thought of staying in this huge dorm alone for the next two and a half months fills her with a level of anxiety that she hasn’t felt since the high school dance where their friendship fell apart.

It doesn’t feel fair to say that they both made mistakes anymore. Amity did her best to reach Luz, and all Luz did was throw that back at her. What she put Amity through sounds so much worse to her than Amity ignoring her for a while.

The room grows darker. Luz sits on her bed, against the wall facing towards the kitchen area. Her knees are pulled up to her chest. She can feel herself nodding off, so tired from her mind racing faster than her body ever did.

~~~~

Sometime before midnight, she’s startled awake by the sound of the door opening.

Her roommate slowly walks in, eyeing the room to see where Luz is. When Amity spots her on the bed, Luz pulls her knees in even closer. To her surprise, Amity slowly walks over to her and clicks on her desk lamp and before whispering something.

“… huh?” Luz ekes out.

“I said hello.” Amity answers quietly, still almost whispering. “Do you want to talk?”

Luz hesitates to answer. “O-Only if you want to.” she manages to say. Her eyes fall back to her knees.

“I do. And we should. I-If you’re tired, though, it ca-“

“No!” Luz interrupts, a bit louder than she anticipated. “No, we… we can talk now.”

“Alright.” Amity nods. “Can I sit with you?”

Luz nods her head, remaining crumpled against the wall. Amity rests softly on the bed, facing Luz.

“I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. You’re… you’d never hurt anyone on purpose, it’s not like you. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t  hurt me.” Amity says, her voice calm and not at all angry. It makes Luz feel a bit better just to hear it again, even if the statement is anything but pleasant.

“It also doesn’t mean we can’t ever be friends again. We both  hurt each other.” she adds.

“What you did to me wasn’t nearly as bad as what I did to you.” Luz rebukes. “I made you think no one wanted to be around you…”

“Didn’t I do the same thing?” Amity asks. Luz looks confused.

“… I don’t follow.” she mutters.

“You always told me you had trouble making friends. When I stopped talking to you after over a year, you… you probably thought I was just like everyone else who hurt you. You probably hated me.” Amity mumbles with a remorseful chuckle. Her expression is anything but happy.

Luz finally looks up at her. The light from the desk lamp forms a faint glow around her features.

“Amity, I could never hate you. I was mad, sure, but… I will never  hate you, especially not after finding out you were forced  to stop being my friend. That’s not your fault.”

Amity looks down at the bed, seeming lost in thought for a moment before she speaks again. “I could’ve fought harder. I’ll always regret not trying to talk to you again until now.”

Luz slowly unravels herself and gently places her hand over Amity’s. She tenses, but relaxes again after a moment. Before Luz can apologize, Amity speaks up again.

“But we’re here now. We’ve screwed up, but we’re still here with each other. We can try again.” Amity flips her hand around and holds Luz’ in her own. Then, she looks Luz straight in the eyes and says, without any hint of uncertainty, “I want to try again.”

That single sentence threatens to break Luz down right then and there, but she tries her hardest to keep her face steady as she forms a response.

Her head is a mess of contradictory celebrations and intrusive thoughts. Amity wants to be friends again, even after what she did? Why is she being so quick to trust Luz again? Or maybe she doesn’t trust her, but even so…

“I… still want to be friends too. The fact you’re still here, e-even after what I did… Amity, I-I… I’m s-so sorry…” she manages to say as her composure begins to crumble.

Amity moves further onto the bed, sitting next to Luz. As the levee breaks, Luz feels tears run down her face. Working quickly but gently, Amity guides Luz’ head onto her shoulder. The moment she does so, Luz begins to sob, no longer stable enough to keep it together.

Amity slowly strokes her hair like she used to when they were friends. All the while, Luz stays there, finally letting out what she’s been holding in for a month. Every emotion she’s felt is pouring out of her without anything to stop them. Amity coos her softly every so often.

Even if she doesn’t know what the future holds for them now, just having Amity here makes everything feel a bit more manageable.

They’re not friends again, not just yet… but they will be.

Notes:

this was the hardest chapter for me to write so far. might’ve bit off more than i could chew; im not a choreographer and im mostly hoping that people just envision what dancing would look like with roller skates. another example of “mackenzie really likes this song and wants to write a chapter around it even though it would probably be better as an animatic made by someone who can make those”

writing luz was insanely hard too. i didn’t want luz to come off as manipulative, hence why she doesn’t *really* realize that she’s testing amity, even if she *is* doing it unconsciously. i don’t think i did too badly, but im also not entirely sure that the middle of this chapter is as strong as the others.

im *really* happy with the ending though. writing it was only hard because it’s so personal to me, but I think that means it’s more authentic. I hope you like it too.

see you soon for chapter 9, and the beginning of the next arc!!! <3

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Chapter 9: under wraps

Summary:

Luz spends dinner with some unexpected companions, who force her to confront her conflicted feelings about Amity.

Notes:

welcome to phase 3! uh this chapter is messy esp towards the end cuz of writer’s block or whatever so. enjoy!!! /hj

cw// panic attack + sleep paralysis, beginning of the chapter only

Track 11: soft static sky on early mornings by City Girl
Track 12: Under Wraps by Her’s

*No Track Playing*

The room is dim as Luz opens her puffy eyes the next morning.

“How long was I out…?”  she wonders, taking a quick glance around the open area in front of her. Then, her mind begins racing again as she spots something in the distance.

A shadowy figure looms near the far window, its foggy, almost ethereal silhouette blending into the spectrum of greys and blacks outside. Any discernable details outside of its circular, glowing white eyes are lost in the fog of the room.

Then, it starts slinking towards her.

Instinctively, Luz tenses up. She wants to run away, but her arms and legs won’t budge. Her breathing picks up, with short, sharp inhales and exhales standing in for a more comfortable rhythm. Something about that figure reintroduces a stinging anxiety to her system.

As it approaches the foot of the bed, Luz looks away. She doesn’t have the energy to cry, much less call out for help. It’s a struggle just to keep herself from shutting down entirely.

She has to get away. Whatever that thing is, it’s bad, and she needs to get away from it. Now.

Before she knows it, the figure is at the foot of her bed.

“Please…”  Luz begs her brain to make her body work again. It doesn’t comply.

The figure doesn’t make a sound; All Luz hears is her chest pounding in her ears.

The room begins to fade around her, but the figure remains.

…

“Luz! It’s me! It’s Amity! I’m here!” she hears through the deafening silence.

*Begin Track 11 – soft static sky on early mornings*

Suddenly, she’s back in the dorm. Wispy strands of light flow in through the windows. A soft hand rests on her shoulder, nudging her gently. She rolls off her side and looks up at the girl staring back at her. There’s tears in the corners of her eyes.

The girl jumps back. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to wake you, but y-you were… you were shivering, a-and I didn’t know what to do, and… I-I’m sorry…” she stutters. Luz sees her shaking slightly.

She takes a second to center herself, breathing slowly in controlled, calculated inhales and exhales kept track of with counting fingers. Her heart is still pounding, but she’s….

…well, she’s still here.

“Amity, it’s fine, you’re alright.” Luz reassures her when she finds her voice. “It was just a… a bad dream.”

“That wasn’t a bad dream, it looked more like a… panic attack.” Amity says, a confident statement only slightly undercut by the shakiness of her voice.

“Oh, uh… yeah, that happens… sometimes. It’s not a big deal.” Luz replies.

Amity’s brows furrow. She looks like Luz just slapped her across the face.

“Not a big deal? Luz, you looked terrified, like something was about to hurt you! How is that ‘not a big deal’???”

Luz looks down at the comforter covering her legs. Her usual thought processes fire up again. When did she end up in bed? Last she knew, she was… crying on Amity’s shoulder.

She must’ve fallen asleep without realizing it. How long did they spend together last night?

“… thanks for putting me to bed.” Luz deflects. “I don’t know how you managed it.”

Amity doesn’t seem fully ready to drop the last conversation, but she sighs and relents.

“You’re not heavy, i-it wasn’t difficult.”

That gets a small chuckle out of Luz. “You’ve got me there. You were always the sporty one.”

For a very brief moment, she could swear she saw Amity crack a smile. Just a small one, and though it doesn’t hide the tension seeping into every crack of Amity’s body language, it was there.

Luz shifts her legs out from under the covers and hangs them off the side of the bed. “I’m fine, Amity, really. I’ll just get outta bed and-“

The moment she tries to stand up, her knees buckle and she nearly falls flat on her face. Amity doesn’t waste any time dropping to the floor to check on her, any miniscule sense of relief she might’ve been feeling washed away in one fell swoop.

“Haha, just a case of the ol’ jelly legs… I’ll be okay.” Luz half-jokes. Amity doesn’t buy it.

“Let me help you up, at least.” Amity nearly pleads. She stands up and offers Luz both a literal and figurative hand.

“Alright, you win.” Luz pretends to pout. That small smile returns to Amity’s face as she hoists Luz up as slowly as she can without boring her to death.

“I better not end up taking care of you like this every night.” Amity mumbles, attempting to brighten the mood. Luz takes it in stride.

“Well, your bedside manner isn’t perfect, but we’ll work on that.” Luz replies. Amity’s smile grows a millimeter or two as they walk over to the kitchen together.

~~~~

The two sip their hot drinks (coffee for Amity, tea for Luz), not saying much of anything to one another. The air between them is clearer, but Luz finds herself at a loss for what to do now.

Striking up random conversation feels awkward. Remaining quiet feels worse. Something has to give, though, and Luz decides to heed Willow’s advice and just talk  to Amity.

“Amity?” Luz quietly asks in between sips.

“…hm?” she answers after a moment or two. She looks up at Luz.

“What do we, uh…”

The words get caught in her throat. There’s a certain amount of uneasiness she feels when talking to her former friend, almost like not everything is back to normal or something to that effect.

Soon, she regains her voice. “…what do we do  now? Like, us, I mean. We’re not really… friends again yet, are we?”

Amity looks down at her mug, the soft expression on her face telling Luz that she’s thinking of how to respond.

“We’re not, no.” she admits. “It’s not really as simple as just being  friends again, is it?”

Luz can’t tell if that question is rhetorical, or if it’s being asked in earnest.

“I don’t really know what we’re supposed to do, outside of continuing to talk to each other. I mean, we’ve missed so much of each other’s lives in the past two years.”

“You can say that again.” Luz says, smiling a little. The familiar ease she feels when talking to Amity slowly begins to return. “We’ll just have to figure it out as we go, then.”

Amity nods. “Yeah. We’ll figure it out.”

The rest of the morning is spent in relative comfort as the two go about their routines.

~~~~

Days pass. The weather gets chillier as early October approaches.

The two find themselves caught up in their own affairs most of the time, but still make a conscious effort to talk to each other now and again. It’s starts as little more than a concise greetings or a question about campus events, but as it goes on, it becomes short conversations about local restaurants or Luz’ job.

At one point, they share horror stories of their senior year apart. Luz tells Amity about her attempt to present Azura fanfiction with the character names swapped out as an English assignment, only to be met with stares and even some jeers when she read it out loud. Amity, in turn, tells Luz about the time she accidentally sent in Azura fanart for her art class instead of the drawing she was supposed to submit, with the teacher simply sending three question marks back in response.

Every day is a little easier. Unfortunately for Luz, that ease has an unintended side effect.

One evening, she returns to the dorm to find Amity splayed out on the floor, as she tends to do. Luz walks over and waves down at her from above her spot. Amity responds with a small smile and a wave of her own.

It’s a brief gesture, something Luz had envisioned a few times before, but had only decided to act on after she was sure they could be friends again.

What she didn’t predict was how cute Amity would look in that moment, and suddenly, Luz’ entire thought process crashes as she stares into her sort-of-friend’s eyes.

Amity cocks a brow and chuckles. The sound doesn’t help Luz’ condition; she jumps back and attempts to play it off to moderate success.

Amity doesn’t seem put off by it, at least. As the two return to their separate evening plans, one thing becomes abundantly clear to Luz, as difficult to accept as may be:

Those feelings never really left.

~~~~

Luz steps out of the commons building a few evenings later; she and her friends have dinner and lounge plans tonight. When she steps out into the early evening sunlight, though, two tall… adults? greet her instead, leaning up against a sporty silver car.

It takes Luz a moment to recognize them.

“Hey Luz! Been a while, hasn’t it?” Edric greets her with a comfortable smile, signature Blight fangs on full display. Emira stands with her arms crossed, her smile a bit less pronounced.

“Ed? Em? What… are you guys doing here?” Luz asks before shaking her hands. “Wait, I mean-“

“It’s good to see you too, Luz.” Em cuts her off, her smile unflinching.

Luz nods. “Sorry, was just… a-a bit caught off guard, is all. I didn’t realize you guys went here too, I haven’t seen you around at all…”

“We, uh… we don’t. Or at least we haven’t for the last two years or so.” Ed replies.

“Oh, you graduated?”

“Nah, we dropped out.” Ed says with a laugh.

Em rolls her eyes. “We live in an apartment building a few miles from here. After the, uh… family  split up, we started living here on our own.”

“Ah.” is all Luz responds with.

“Anyway,” Em pipes up, “Ed and I were wondering if you’d like to come with us to dinner tonight! So we can catch up, y’know?”

Luz looks down at her phone, still in her hand. Having to cancel on her friends this late really doesn’t sound fun. Work has already ruined her plans enough, and the only thing worse than that is a last-minute change of plan.

“I can’t, not tonight at least. I’m already meeting my friends for dinner.”

“And we’re not  friends?” Ed asks with a tilt of the head and the cheapest of fake pouts.

Luz groans and rolls her eyes. “What about tomorrow?”

“Can’t do tomorrow. Today’s the only day we have off from work all week.” Em replies.

Ed shrugs in turn. “Earliest we can do after today is next week, and we’d hate to wait that long.”

Luz shoots them her best unamused expression. Chances are they work until 5pm or so and could easily meet her somewhere after work, but she herself knows that after a long day you just don’t have the energy to do  stuff.

“Damn them for having the same mentalities as me.”  she grumbles internally. Nevertheless, they’re probably not gonna back down.

“Alright, you win.” Luz relents while shoving her phone into her jeans’ pocket. “Where we going?”

“Nothing too fancy, I promise. There’s a really nice diner not even a mile from here, you ever been?” Ed explains.

“No.”

“Good, we get to be the first to influence your menu choices then.” Em jokes.

And with another not, the three of them climb into the car and head off towards the diner.

~~~~

*Begin Track 12 – Under Wraps*

Luz spends most of the ride staring out the window like she’s in a movie or a car commercial. She notices Ed and Em occasionally look over at one another, but they don’t speak to themselves or her. She wonders if they have some kind of telepathic twin language that only they understand.

They pull up to the diner after a few minute. As to be expected, it’s outside is stainless steel, or at least some imitation of it. Above the door is a huge red neon sign that simply reads “DINER”.

Ed seems to catch her noticing the sign. “All the best diners are just called ‘Diner’.” he says as he bumps Luz’ shoulder with his arm.

They walk inside and get seated near the window much to Luz’ delight. Unfortunately for her, though, the twins’ silence on the ride here wasn’t at all a preview of the night to come.

Ed unceremoniously drops the first icebreaker after they order drinks. “So what are you studying Luz? Do you know yet?”

Luz shakes her head. “I dunno yet. I’m just getting my gen-eds out of the way for now, I’ll worry about my actual major later.”

“A good strategy, in my experience.” Em nods in approval. Then she adds “Unless you end up taking so long to pick a major that you run out of gen-eds.” while punching Ed in the shoulder.

“Ow! No one said you had to drop out too!” he nearly shouts as Em shushes him through her not-so-well-hidden laughter.

“Same old twins.” Luz muses, half-paying attention as they bicker a little while longer.

“Anyways, Luz, don’t you still have that bass of yours? Why not go into music?” Ed asks while resting his chin on his hand.

“I dunno, it’s more of a hobby than anything. I’m not that good.”

“That’s the entire point of going to school, silly. To get better.” Em teasingly points out. A pout reappears on Luz’ mug, only to be met with a chuckle from both the twins.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to figure it out right now.” Ed says. “But-” he shifts to a more serious tone, “you’d best figure it out within a year or so. As annoying  as she is, Em’s right when she says there’s only so many gen-eds to take.”

“Yeah.” Luz replies. “I’ll figure it out.”

A waitress comes and takes their orders. Luz takes a safe bet with risky undertones: a cheeseburger and fries. Ed picks out bacon and eggs with homefries, prompting Em to call him a weirdo for ordering breakfast; meanwhile, when she chooses the turkey club sandwich, Ed calls her predictable.

Luz stares out the window as the twins attempt to run circles around each other again. The first thought that crosses her mind when the traffic no longer holds her attention is a question.

Luz knows the twins better than they seem to think. There’s always some kind of ulterior motive to the things they do. She remembers Amity’s stories of them always knowing to make her comfortable before pulling something on her, and this suddenly feels no different.

“So, you guys didn’t just invite me to dinner just  to talk about college, right?” she throws out once they’ve calmed down again.

They both look at her with confused expressions; Luz can’t tell if they’re genuine ones or not.

Ed looks over at his twin sister. They exchange some more faces with each other before turning back to Luz. To her surprise, Emira’s the first to speak.

“Okay, you’ve caught us. We did want to catch up with you, yeah, but we also…”

“We wanted to talk to you about Mittens.” Ed finishes for her as she trails off. They both look kind of hesitant to bring the topic up. Luz’ ears perk up.

“What about Amity?” she asks softly, feeling her ears heat up a tiny bit.

Em continues. “Well, we know you two haven’t exactly gotten along while you’ve been living together.”

“You know about that?”

“Of course we do, we’re her siblings.” Ed answers.

“Who do you think she stayed with when she wasn’t in your dorm?” Em asks rhetorically.

“That… answers a lot of questions.” Luz replies, almost under her breath.

Luz eyes widen. She didn’t know they were so close-by, true, but it makes more sense out-loud than Amity staying with Boscha. Amity probably told the twins everything as it was happening.

“So then you also know I’m trying my best to make it up to her, right?”

Ed and Em both nod in unison. It kind of freaks Luz out.

“We know everything she’s told us. So yes. That’s another part of why we’re here.” Emira responds flatly.

“We just want to confirm that you really want to be… friends  with Mittens again.” Edric adds. Something about his tone starts to psyche Luz out a bit.

“Are you gonna, like… interview me?” Luz ponders out loud with furrowed brows. The twins nod again. It’s still weird.

“Not really an interview.” Edric answers quickly, shaking his hands. “We’re not trying to psyche you out or anything.”

“Given your track record, I doubt that.” Luz replies with a slight sarcastic edge and a small smile. It’s unusual to see the twins being totally serious about something; trying to lighten the mood for their  sake isn’t something Luz ever imagined having to do.

“We’re just looking out for Mit- I mean, Amity.” Em states matter-of-factly.

“Nah, I get it.” Luz responds with a shrug. “If I was in the same situation with Vee, I’d want to… keep on top of things too.”

“Good.” Edric smiles again. “We’ll talk about her after dinner, I think the waitress is bringing our food now.”

“Thank Titan, I’m starving.” Luz says… out loud. In front of Amity’s siblings. She hopes they don’t notice.

“Knowing you still read Azura makes me want to end this before it begins.” Edric jokes. They noticed.

“It’s cute.” Emira says through a chuckle. “I can see why Amity still likes you.”

Luz goes red in the face as the waitress sets their dishes down.

~~~~

They eat mostly in silence. Luz finds the food pretty decent all things considered, but she can tell the twins are having the time of their lives keeping her in suspense as they scarf down their plates.

Edric finishes first, and wastes no time starting up the “not-interview”.

“So Mittens tells us you’re both talking to one another again. That’s good!”

Luz smiles a tiny bit in between bites of her burger. “Yeah, it’s… nice. I honestly didn’t think we’d be talking again so soon.”

“Why’s that?”

Well…” Luz face drops again. “… we’re both still figuring out what to do. We’re not really friends  yet, but we’re still talking somewhat often, at least compared to a few weeks ago.”

“That’s still an improvement.” Edric responds, smiling.

“Mittens is about as good at talking to people as you are, Luz.” Emira adds with her own small smile. “She must be trying really hard, then.” Luz takes it in stride and lets out a small smile before her expression fades again.

“Yeah…”

Edric takes a sip of his drink, reading Luz’ face like a comic book. “What’s the matter, Luz?”

“… I dunno.” she mumbles. “I’m still kind of in shock that Amity even wants me in her life after what we’ve been through. But… I’m really grateful for her sticking around, even if I don’t get it.”

The twins share a glance again, effortlessly tossing words between each other without a single lip movement. Luz has no idea what they’re saying, of course.

Edric looks back at her and shrugs. “Mittens has her own ways of surprising people. Just like we do!” he says, looking over at his twin sister. She chuckles a bit.

“She does, doesn’t she?” Luz replies, the smile returning. When she feels her ears heat up, though, she quickly pulls her beanie down over them, hoping the twins don’t notice this either.

“So, Luz,” Em says after a moment of silence and a bite of her sandwich, “why exactly do you want to be friends with Amity again? She said you were pretty upset with her after the Boscha incidents started up. What changed?”

Luz looks down at her plate of half-eaten food. “That’s a, uh… really loaded question, Em.”

“Eh, there’s barely anyone here. Unlikely that they’ll kick us out. Take all the time you need.” Emira responds with a smile.

Luz breathes in deeply. She can’t tell the twins too much, or else they’ll definitely  pick up on what she’s really saying. “Keep it concise and focused.”  she tells herself.

“Well… she was the only real friend I had before Willow and Gus. We did everything together, you guys know that. And even though I love Willow and Gus, I-“ she cuts herself off early, searching for the best way to circumvent exposing her hand. “…I really like Amity too, and I want to be there for her just like she was for me.”

“Even though she stopped talking to you for over a year?” Emira asks.

“I don’t hold that against her, not after she told me your mother forced her hand.” Luz clarifies. Emira’s eyes flash with a twinkle of understanding. “Even if I was mad at her, I never wanted to stop being her friend… and I almost ruined that again  when I stopped talking to her.” Then she puts on her most serious face and bluntly states “I won’t  let our friendship end, at least… not like that.”

The twins make small noises of confirmation and take a minute before responding.

Then Edric plays their hand and poses the big question. “You really like her, huh Luz?”

Before she can stop herself or think it over, a dreamy “Yeah…” leaves Luz’ mouth. When she realizes what she’s basically just admitted to, she covers her mouth and waits silently for the twins to chew her out.

But then they start laughing.

“Man, Mittens did a number  on you, huh Luz?” Edric blurts out while holding his side.

“Excuse me?” Luz asks incredulously. “What the hell is going on?”  she thinks to herself.

“Oh Luz, you’re so in love with her it’s not even funny.” Emira says through her chuckling.

Luz barely has the energy to respond to them. “I don’t need you two making fun of me for it, I already know it’s stupid.” she says quietly, staring down at the table, not even taking the opportunity to try and deflect.

The twins slowly simmer down once Luz says that. The air around the three of them has changed; Luz feels entirely exposed and embarrassed, but unlike in times past, the twins don’t look keen on taking advantage of that.

Emira speaks up first. “I don’t think it’s silly, to be honest with ya. I could see it.”

“Yeah!” Edric backs her up. “You two are a perfect match for each other!”

All that does is depress Luz further. The idea that she’s ruined her chances with her “perfect match” is something she doesn’t know if she’ll ever come to terms with.

“I’m… glad you guys think so, I guess.” she mumbles. “But it’s not gonna happen.”

The twins look at Luz like she’s just told them grass is normally red.

“Why would that be the case?” Emira asks.

Luz shuffles uncomfortable in her booth. “We’ve both screwed up a lot… being friends again is more than I could ever ask for. I still can’t believe we’re even talking again. But… the two of us? Dating?” she chuckles sadly. “That’s stupid, right? Especially now.”

“Luz…” Edric starts, “… how long did you know?”

“Since high school.” Luz admits, still staring at the table.

“And you never said anything to her?” Emira asks, definitely knowing the answer already.

“Well, I was gonna tell her, but… I waited too long. Then she stopped talking to me, and…” she trails off.

The twins wait for Luz to continue.

“… I wasn’t even mad at her at first. But the more I saw her in the halls, and the more I noticed her doing her best to ignore me, the angrier I got. Then I stopped seeing her at all, and the anger went away… but the feelings didn’t. I figured she wanted nothing to do with me, but that didn’t stop me from missing her.”

“Makes sense.” Edric says politely. Luz shakes her head.

“Sure, but when she showed up again, all that anger came flooding back. I was a jerk to Amity, all because I couldn’t let go of the past… and then I made it all worse again, even after I vowed to make it better. I started seeing red all over again, to the point where I made her think I  wanted nothing to do with her.”

“Luz, you both made mistakes. But you both agreed to move past them, didn’t you? If Amity’s willing to try again, you should take that opportunity.” Emira states.

Luz sighs. “I wish you wouldn’t phrase it like that, an ‘opportunity’.” she huffs. “If we’re gonna be friends again, I don’t want it to feel like I’m taking advantage of our situation. I want it to happen naturally.”

“Isn’t it happening naturally now?” Edric asks her.

Luz thinks on it for a second. “I guess it kinda is. I don’t want Amity to feel obligated to talk to me, though…”

“From what she tells us, she’s not doing this out of obligation either. She wants to be your friend as much as you do, we're sure of that." Emira replies. “You both  want to be a part of the other’s life, really.”

“… that’s good, I think.” Luz admits.

“Even if you both made mistakes, it doesn’t make you bad people, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t ever be anything more than acquaintances. You don’t have to pretend your feelings for her don’t exist, either.” Emira reassures her. It makes Luz feel a tiny bit better to have her complicated feelings validated even a bit.

The waitress comes over with the bill. The twins take it and pool their money to pay for the food, but Luz ends up covering the tip. They look embarrassed about it, but Luz doesn’t pry; based on her talks with Amity, she can pretty easily figure out what’s up on that front.

The twins share yet another glance before turning back to Luz again.

“Here’s the thing, Luz. Your feelings for Amity are as real as your friendship was and is. You don’t have to say anything now, especially this early on, but… don’t hold it in either.” Emira says kindly.

Edric shoots her a reassuring smile. “Yeah! I’m sure things will work out between you both. I don’t think Mittens is willing to let this friendship sink either, if that means anything.”

“Definitely not. Mittens is nothing if not persistent, sometimes to her detriment, but she values your relationship more than you know. It broke her heart having to ignore you ‘cause our mother was awful. She wouldn’t be trying to talk to you if she didn’t intend on being friends again.”

Luz relents; Willow would be proud of their pep-talk. “Thanks, guys. I know we’ll be friends again in time, but… other than that, I dunno.” she says quietly. She remains unconvinced.

“Hey, anything could happen. I’d say you have more of a chance than you think.” Edric says with a wink.

Luz blinks back. His wink does nothing to settle her nerves (or her stomach, why did she order a cheeseburger again?), but it does elicit a small blush from her. Damn her bisexual heart.

~~~~

With that, the three leave the diner and set off for Hexside. When they get there, Luz thanks the two of them for dinner, and Ed and Em give her their Wizcord IDs so they can keep up with each other again. The idea of being a part of the Blight siblings’ inner circle reminds her of the good parts of high school, when the four of them would hang out and goof off until their parents recalled them home.

Luz trundles up to her dorm, having been forced to forgo the broken elevator. When she enters the room, she finds Amity once again resting on the floor, looking lost in thought. Luz walks over and waves down towards her; Amity waves back and smiles.

In that moment, Luz can feel the heat rushing to her face as she looks down at Amity’s face. Her eyes look brighter than they had over the past few weeks. It’s a struggle to look away from them, but for the sake of keeping her secret, she forces herself away again.

Maybe she still has a shot; the twins seemed eager to convince her of that… but for now, she’s content to try and just be friends again.

Notes:

hi this chapter sucks and i hate it lmao. i had such a bitch of a time writing the last scene with Luz and the twins in the diner and it just wasn’t coming together. but like i said a while ago this isn’t a college assignment or anything, its just for fun. im not getting graded on it.

that being said while this isn’t my best work but i thought it was necessary to explore luz’ anxiety just a little more before we get into the friendship shit proper. and i wanted a way to wrap the twins into this cuz honestly i love them so much. blight twins ftw
next chapter will be actual fluffy friend-y shit I swear on my life, see you then I hope!!!

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Chapter 10: halcyon age

Summary:

Luz and Amity learn some new things about each other on an autumn afternoon.

Notes:

finally something other than angst. well, more like angst/comfort i guess. but there is comfort

Track 13: Halcyon Age by Vansire

*Begin Track 13: Halcyon Age (set to loop)*

Luz gets a notification while scrolling through her school’s online portal. It turns out to be an e-mail from the chancellor.

~

Dear Students,

I am writing to inform you that, due to a burst water pipe, the Graye Center will be closed for the next few days for repair work. Any classes to be held in this building will either be cancelled or held remotely, at the discretion of your professors.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. Go Banshees!

R.H. Bump, Chancellor

~

“Well then, guess my afternoon is free.” she says to no one in particular.

“Why’s that?” Amity asks from her bed. She only woke up a few minutes ago, as evidenced by the large yawn she lets out as soon as she asks her roommate to elaborate.

“Graye Center’s flooded, all classes there are cancelled.” Luz answers. Then she remembers the part she unwittingly left out. “Or, uh, held remotely. If any professors want to do that.”

“Do you think any of yours will hold class online? Mine probably will.” Amity says with a faint roll of the eyes. Luz chuckles to herself.

“Probably not, these gen-ed classes aren’t that  important. Anything they don’t teach us just won’t be on the finals!” Luz says matter-of-factly. There’s definitely no way this could come back to bite her in the butt. Then she turns to Amity and asks “Why would yours want to?”.

“I don’t know, they seem like the kind to do that. My music history professor definitely would, but their class isn’t in that building.” Amity replies. Luz raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know you were taking music history. You should tell me about it later, maybe it can fill in some credits for me next semester.” she says. Music history already sounds like a decent course outside of Luz’ inherent musical talents.

Amity smiles and nods back. “I’ll do that.” she says before getting out of bed and finding some proper clothes to throw on. Luz returns her attention to her monitors. A few minutes later, the two exchange waves as Amity leaves for her morning classes. Luz leans back in her chair, comfortable in knowing she has something to look forward to this afternoon.

She also makes a mental note of what time Amity’s classes are today. Luz has her entire school and work schedule posted to the fridge for reference purposes, and she’s been slowly building a vague idea of her roommate’s own schedules in her mind, noting small things like what time Amity usually eats dinner (typically around 5pm, not that anyone would ask).

Then, she boots up Wizcord and clicks over to the groupchat she, Ed, and Em made after their dinner a few nights ago. She sends them a quick update, not expecting a response considering the twins are currently at work, based on their own admissions.

 

luzura (07:39): things are going well with amity, were talking a bit more each day and its nice

 

To her surprise, though, Edric responds almost immediately.

 

ED_RIC (07:40): that’s good to hear luz!! mittens deserves a friend  like you hehe

luzura (07:40): shut up ed lmao

 

Then, as if a cosmic force has notified her of her twin’s slacking off, Emira joins in.

 

EM_IRA (07:41): wtf working hard my ass ed, more like hardly working lmao

ED_RIC (07:41): YOURE ON YOUR PHONE TOO EM

EM_IRA (07:41): my boss likes me :)

ED_RIC (07:41): why dont you date them then

EM_IRA (07:41): ok bet

 

Luz chuckles to herself. “Same old twins.”

 

luzura (07:42): you two are worse than my coworkers lol /j

EM_IRA (07:42): are your coworkers hot

ED_RIC (07:43): oh my god.

EM_IRA (07:43): I CAN FIX THEM ED

ED_RIC (07:43): says woman who is worse

EM_IRA (07:43): die a violent death

 

That gets a bigger laugh out of Luz. As annoying as they can be with their shenanigans, they always manage to win her over in the end. Amity’s usually… less receptive  to their antics, but so long as she isn’t the one on the receiving end of them, Luz knows she enjoys them too.

After sophomore year, Luz didn’t see the twins at all; this makes a lot more sense after finding out they moved away right after graduation. The Blight parents surely took their feelings out on Amity, even if they always gave the twins more autonomy. Every time Luz thinks about what it must’ve been like for Amity during junior year, she tenses up and wishes she had reached out.

Why didn’t Amity ever talk about her parents? Luz knows she isn’t the best at offering advice (that was always Willow’s forte), but she would’ve at least tried to help Amity through their… abrasive parenting style. If Amity would’ve just told her  what was going on…

…that begs the question, then: what else did she miss during their time together?

Luz lets the question sit in her head as she returns to her bed and pulls out one of her handhelds.

~~~~

Amity returns sometime early in the afternoon. Luz offers her a wave from her bed after pausing the game she’s playing. Amity smiles and waves back, a sense of comfortable warmth spreading through Luz’ face and chest. The little gestures always evoke a response like that from her; she can’t help it.

“How was class?” Luz asks as Amity drops her messenger bag on her bed.

“Really interesting actually. We finally covered symphonies in Music History. I don’t think the other students cared much, but I thought it was fun.” Amity muses.

“Sounds more exciting than what I’ve been doing.” Luz replies. They both share a chuckle. “I doubt many of the people in that class are there for much more than credits.” she continues.

“Sucks for them, I guess. I usually stay after class to talk to the professor about what we went over, fill in whatever notes I missed, that sort of thing.” Amity explains.

“Do you like them?”

“They’re really nice, yeah. They tend to talk a little too quickly for me, but that’s probably because they’ve got a lot to cover. Sixteen weeks doesn’t seem like nearly enough for them when it comes to music.” Amity surmises with a laugh.

Luz smiles. Then Amity snaps her fingers and starts digging through her backpack. Before Luz has time to ask what she’s doing, Amity pulls out a small stack of what looks like letters. She gets off the bed and sorts through them as she walks over to Luz, handing her the majority of the stack while keeping a single letter for herself.

“I picked up our mail on the way back. Looks like a lot of junk to me.” Amity says, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, it is.” Luz mumbles absentmindedly as she tosses numerous credit card advertisements and magazine subscription renewal forms onto her bed. “Where did these jokers even get my school address?”

Amity doesn’t respond. Luz looks up and sees her roommate standing dead-center in the room, staring down at the envelope in her hands.

“¿Qué es eso, Ams?” Luz asks her, the nickname rolling off her tongue.

Amity smiles at first, but it soon disappears. “Oh, it’s nothing.” she dismisses. She turns around to face Luz, gently flapping the envelope. Luz remains silent, and Amity sighs before reversing course and tossing the envelope on her dresser. “I-It’s nothing, really. Nothing worth worrying about, anyway.” she repeats.

Luz decides it’s best not to push her.

Amity slowly walks over to her bed and takes a seat, hanging her legs off the side and swinging them occasionally. Luz silently returns to her game, still curious as to what that envelope is.

A few minutes later, Amity speaks up again.

“I didn’t know you played bass.”

“Huh?” Luz responds. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’ve been playing for about five years now. Mi mamá  got it for me for my thirteenth birthday, right after I graduated middle school.”

“Are you good at it?” Amity asks.

“You tell me.” Luz says with a confident smirk. She hops off her bed and retrieves the instrument from its stand. She returns to her bed, arranges the bass guitar in her hands, and thinks about what song has an interesting-enough bassline to serve as a demonstration.

Soon enough, a song comes to mind. Luz readies herself, recalling the notes in her head as she carefully begins to pluck the strings.

“E, up to B, back down to E, E to F natural to F#, A to A# to B, down to low B and back up to high B, repeat the first measure, F#, down to low A, up to D#, repeat once from beginning…”

All the while, Amity looks over at her, though Luz’s focus means she doesn’t notice the audience.

When she finishes, Amity smiles at her. “I think that suffices as an answer.” she says with a chuckle. Then, in a much softer voice, she says “You’re really good.”

Luz stands up, bass still in hand, and performs a short, over-exaggerated bow. That gets Amity to laugh, and Luz quickly turns away to hide the blush spreading across her face.

“Thanks. I had a lot of time to practice.” Luz responds, only realizing how sad that statement sounds after she says it.

“It paid off. I can’t play nearly as well as that.” Amity says.

“Oh, do you play something too?” Luz asks as she places the bass guitar back on its stand.

“Well, the piano, sort of. At least, I used to, but I haven’t in a few years.” Amity answers.

“Ah.” Luz says blankly.

“Whose idea was it for you to play an instrument?” Amity asks after a minute.

“It was mine, sort of.” Luz answers. “I’ve always enjoyed music, and as few years before I got the bass, I asked for a drum set. Naturally my mom didn’t think that’d sit well with the neighbors, so she got me the bass instead. Wasn’t really sure I’d like it at first, but clearly something changed.” she says with a small laugh.

“You think?” Amity jokes. Luz laughs a bit more.

“Well like I said, I practiced a lot. If I wasn’t playing a video game or, god forbid, studying, I was probably plucking away in my room. I guess,” she continues, “music was just one of the things I used to keep myself occupied.”

“Did you ever play for anyone?”

“Outside of my family, you’re… the only one.” Luz says as her face drops a bit. “But,” she bounces back, “I’ve always said that if you’re not playing for yourself first, then what’s the point?”

Luz thinks back on the time she spent in her room, memorizing the basslines for songs she’d end up listening to thousands of times.

“I played for myself because I enjoyed it, even if I wasn’t playing for anyone.”

“That’s… a good way to look at it.” Amity says kindly. Then, after a moment, she gets up and grabs the envelope off her dresser. Luz raises an eyebrow.

“This envelope. It’s… a letter. From my mother.” she admits.

“Oh. Neat.” she mutters after a moment. Amity can’t help but chuckle at her blatant sarcasm.

“She still sends me these from time to time. I stopped opening them months ago, they’re always the same. ‘How are you Mittens?’, ‘How’s your studying going Mittens?’, ‘Are you enjoying your piano lessons Mittens?’, over and over and over.” she says in a mocking approximation of her mother’s grating voice. “I never write back. Makes me wonder why she even bothers.”

Luz growls silently and scoffs. “It’s probably because she can’t see you anymore, right?”

“Probably.” Amity replies coldly. “But these letters are a constant reminder that she exists. I wish she would just leave me alone!” she grumbles as she throws the envelope on the ground.

Luz jumps up and walks over to her sort-of friend. She goes to put a hand on Amity’s shoulder, but waits until Amity nods in approval before actually doing so.

“Hey, at least she’s not really part of your life anymore. Even if she keeps reminding you that she’s out there, she can’t hurt you anymore.” Luz assures her. It doesn’t seem to garner much of a reaction from Amity. She silently curses herself out for her sorry attempt at giving advice.

“…you’re right, Luz. As always.” Amity replies softly, with a small smile.

Luz steps back, confused.

“I am?”

But Amity doubles-down. “You are.” Then she places a hand on Luz’s and squeezes it softly. It only lasts a moment, but that gesture says a million things to Luz. Before she knows it, though, Amity’s expression has dropped, as has her hand. Luz hears her mutter “But…” before she goes silent again.

“Something wrong, Amity?” Luz asks gently after a moment.

“Oh, just the normal noises.” Amity responds with a sad half-laugh. “Y’know, even if the letters were to stop, she’d still be with  me, in a way.”

“What do you mean?” Luz goads her to continue. Amity obliges.

“Well… I have my mother to thank for a lot of my interests, unfortunately. My interest in music specifically is her fault. She was the one who got me to play piano, had me take lessons multiple times after a week. I only got better begrudgingly  at first, but then I realized I was actually enjoying it. I even started researching music on my own when I had the time.” Amity explains.

“So that’s why you don’t play piano anymore.” Luz determines. Amity’s answer throws her for a loop at first.

“Not really. My mother took our piano in the divorce settlement. Honestly, I’d still have played if it wasn’t for that.” Amity admits with a sigh. “I don’t hate playing piano, I hate that I she forced me to play it.” she states, looking down at the floor the entire time.

Luz takes a moment to think, then she has a realization. She knows what’s actually sitting under those kind of feelings.

“So now, whenever you think about playing, you get reminded you of her.”

“Yeah…” Amity mumbles before looking up at Luz with a confused look on her face. “How did you figure that out?” she asks slowly.

Luz takes a moment to think. She understands what Amity’s feeling, but for the moment, she isn’t sure she’s ready to tell Amity the specific reasons why yet.

“It’s… hard for me to talk about.” Luz settles for. She knows Amity will understand. “But what I will say is that if you really enjoy learning about and playing music in spite of your mother being awful to you, I think you should keep doing it.”

“Why?”

“Because… it makes you happy.” Luz says sweetly, an image of Azura sitting in her head.

“I suppose you’re right.” Amity responds after a moment.

“It’s been known to happen sometimes.” Luz jokes. Amity laughs.

They fall silent after that. Luz returns to her game, but finds her thoughts revolving around Amity. She thinks back to their time in high school, and how they really only talked about Azura and school. There’s a lot they don’t know about each other; only today did they both find out the other plays an instrument.

Luz decides then and there that she’s going to get to know all the stuff about Amity she couldn’t learn during high school.

“What major are you taking?” Luz asks.

“Mechanical engineering, why?” Amity answers.

“Just curious.”

Amity cocks an eyebrow but nods and picks up her notebook again.

“Why’d you dye your hair green?” Luz asks a few minutes later. She looks away for a second, silently knowing how awkward that question is out-loud, but Amity doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re not going to like the answer.” Amity mutters, though she doesn’t sound annoyed with Luz as much as she sounds annoyed with… someone else. Luz can pretty easily figure out who.

“Tell me anyway.” Luz replies.

Amity lets out a small sigh. “My mother wanted me to match Ed and Em. She liked her kids to be ‘color-coordinated’.” she says as she motions air-quotes.

“So why not change it now?” Luz asks bluntly. Gus would be proud of her for being so direct.

“Oh, uh…” Amity stutters, looking like she’s just been asked to list the first twenty digits of pi. “… I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Well, your mother isn’t here now, is she? Perfect time to change it if you ask me. I-If you want to, of course.” Luz says.

“I… guess you’re right.” Amity replies after a minute.

Luz gets off of her bed and walks over to Amity’s. In a bold move, she silently asks for Amity’s permission to join her. Amity nods, and Luz plops herself on the side of the bed in front of Amity, who shifts and sits against the backboard to accommodate Luz.

“Why did you want to know about my hair color?” Amity asks once they’re both comfortable.

“I never asked before. And…” Luz pauses as she thinks about what to say next. “… we never really talked about much other than Azura in high school.”

“I guess we didn’t.” Amity responds blankly.

“Was it… because of your parents?” Luz asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… you never talked about them. And then today I learn you used to play piano, that you’re taking mechanical engineering, and why your hair is green. All three of those things revolve around your parents… I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

Amity looks down at the bed. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t really know. Azura was the one thing I had that wasn’t tied to them, maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to talk to you about it.”

It takes a minute for Luz to respond. “I want to know more about you.” she eventually says. Amity looks up at her. “I want to know about your hobbies and interests outside of Azura, all the stuff we didn’t get the chance to talk about in high school.”

“You do?” Amity asks incredulously.

“Of course I do. I mean, we only had a year and a half together, and that whole time we didn’t know that we both played instruments. What else didn’t we know about each other?”

“A lot, probably.” Amity admits with a small smile.

“Then I propose we fix that.” Luz states with confidence. She notices the clock on Amity’s desk; it reads 16:48. That gives Luz an idea.

“How about… you join me for dinner. And we can start there.” she offers.

Amity looks surprised at first, no doubt because it’s the first time she and Luz are doing anything outside of spending time in the dorm together since meeting up again. For a moment, Luz worries that she’s coming on too strong, as she’s been known to do, but Amity’s expression soon changes to one of relief and maybe a little excitement.

“I’d love to.” she says quietly. Then, without much warning, she sits up on her haunches and wraps her arms around Luz, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you for talking to me… again.” she mumbles.

Luz smiles back as her ears begin to feel warm. “I'm glad we can talk like this again. I've missed you.”

"I've missed you too, Luz." Amity replies with a small smile. “Don’t you usually eat closer to seven, though?” Amity questions as she lets go of Luz.

“There’s a first time for everything, I guess.” Luz answers after a few seconds.

She immediately grabs the necessities off her computer desk as Amity goes to do the same. When they’re both sure they’re prepared, they walk out of the dorm and head towards the café together.

Notes:

heyo. shorter chap cuz im still suffering from writer’s block ngl. this one was even harder to write than the last one and it ended up just kinda being a mishmash of ideas i had. i know i promised more fluff but this ended up being mostly angst/comfort i think. im sorry about that but these things are flexible yknow

after this chapter though i have every chapter for the entire second half of this fic already on the drawing board, so hopefully no more weird kinda-off chapters that im not happy with haha. next week’s chapter probably isn’t what you’re expecting, but i think you’re really going to like it. see you then!!! :D

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Chapter 11: soft

Summary:

Luz takes Amity on an evening trip to the grocery store.

Notes:

*gal pals*

cw for one line featuring misgendering and implied transphobia

Track 14: Soft by Vacations
Track 15: Marcel by Her’s

*Begin Track 14: Soft (set to loop)*

hello_willow (13:20): Hey Luz! Gus made plans to visit his dad over the weekend, so he can’t go to the Fall Festival with us. Is it ok if just the two of us go?

 

“That’s odd.”  Luz ponders as she stares at the message sitting in her Wizcord DM chat with Willow. “Gus only lives a few minutes from here, why wouldn’t he be able to come with us?”

“Hm.” she mutters out loud to herself. Amity sets her tray down on the table they’re sharing and takes the seat across from Luz.

“Something wrong?” she asks gently.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. Just…” Luz trails off as she thinks about what to tell her sort-of-friend.

Amity patiently waits for Luz to finish.

“… Gus can’t make it to the Fall Festival, so it’d just be me and Willow going.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Amity asks innocently.

“Not… really.” Luz figures. “But I’ve never actually… hung out with Willow alone. Or Gus either now that I think about it. Whenever we’ve hung out, it’s always been the three of us. I feel like it’s kind of… weird? for any of us to hang out in a pair instead of as a trio.”

“I get that.” Amity responds. “Whenever I’d hang out with Boscha, Skara would be there too. It didn’t feel right for any of us to split off into a pair. I don’t really know why that is, though.”

Luz makes a mental note of the third o- Skara’s  name.

“How long have you known them? Willow and Gus?” Amity asks her.

“Since the summer before freshman year. We met at a… camp we were all sent to.” Luz admits hesitantly. Before Amity can question further, she continues on. “Long story short, we became friends, but when camp was over, they came back here to Bonesborough and I went back to Gravesfield. We could only talk online until the summers when we could meet up in person.”

“And then you all decided to attend Hexside together?” Amity assumes as she stabs a meager forkful of salad.

“More like I decided to attend Hexside with them. Didn’t know that we’d end up living on campus together though, they only live a few minutes from here but purposefully paid for a dorm to be closer to me.” Luz says with an affectionate smile. “I don’t think I can ever thank them enough.”

“They sound like really great friends.” Amity hums.

“The best.” Luz nods. “One of these days I’ll introduce you to them proper.”

“I’d… like that.” Amity responds, though her expression drops a bit; Luz acts quickly.

“You okay, Ams?” she asks softly, the old nickname unintentionally rolling off her tongue like a boulder down a hill.

“Hm? Oh, uh… I’ll tell you later, it’s not important.” Amity mumbles.

Luz tries to keep the mood light. “If you say so, Blight.” she says with a playful slant. She silently hopes Amity takes it the way she intended, but when her expression doesn’t change, she backtracks. “Er, that’s fine, I mean. I won’t worry about it.”

That gets Amity’s attention again. “Oh, uh… thanks, Luz. I appreciate that.”

“Don’t mention it.” Luz shoots her some finger guns and small smile. Amity giggles.

The rest of dinner is spent in a loosely-comfortable silence as both girls enjoy their meals… well, Luz enjoys her meal. She sneaks glances at her roommate from time to time, noticing the small details: how refined and almost mechanical her movements are, how stoic her face remains even when doing something as unpalatable as eating, something no human has figured out how to do with true grace. Amity’s assumed effort almost comes across as robotic.

Halfway through her salad, she notices Amity puts her fork down at a perfect perpendicular angle to the edge of the table, centered on her evenly-folded napkin. It must’ve taken a lot of practice to get so good at being perfect, though she has to wonder whether this is a residual holdover from her time in her parents’ care, or just small habits Amity has always known and practiced diligently.

“Done eating already? I’m not even halfway through this panini.” Luz ponders out-loud. Amity’s head perks up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m not very hungry. I don’t usually eat a lot.” she admits nonchalantly, almost casually.

Luz once again analyzes the situation, not wanting to repeat her previous mistake.

“Alright.” Luz replies.

She continues eating as Amity sits there, near motionless, only occasionally moving her head left or right to look at the happenings Luz can’t see behind her. It’s awkward… something painfully obvious to Luz and to Amity as well, probably.

Once the panini disappears from Luz’ plate, Amity offers to throw her garbage away; Luz responds by standing up and collecting both of their trays in one fell swoop. Amity pouts, prompting Luz to perform some quick jazz hands upon her return. Amity can’t help but smile.

Luz looks over to the tall panoramic window overlooking the horizon. She silently motions for Amity to join her, and they walk over together. Luz spends a minute or so trying and failing to rotate one of the small couches to face the window, only begrudgingly accepting Amity’s help when she nearly falls onto the now-misaligned couch from exhaustion.

Much to Amity’s apparent chagrin, Luz flops onto the couch from behind. Being out of breath from moving a couch has left Luz without much of a care for any people who might be watching her, though Amity looks less than pleased at the possibility of attention being drawn to them.

Luz’ only response is to playfully stick her tongue out. A pout returns to Amity’s posture.

The sun slowly floats down to the horizon line, painting the entire café in a brilliant orange light. Luz sighs and smiles as she takes in the sight, something Amity picks up on.

“What’s up?” Amity questions, slowly relaxing into the couch on her own time.

“More like what’s down.” Luz jokes. “The sun, in this case. Or at least it’s getting there. I always love this time of day, it’s so pretty the way the entire landscape changes colors. ” she rambles.

Amity giggles again. “It is pretty.” she says idly, her head turned to face Luz.

Luz turns away from the sights across the horizon and looks at her roommate. The light envelops the whole shape of Amity’s face, casting a soft glow around her angular features and mint ponytail.

“She’s pretty too.”  Luz thinks, internally scolding her head for that thought just a moment later.

Soon, she finds herself yawning as the two sit there in outward comfort. Not the most opportune time for a nap, but at the risk of ending up on social media as “college student so overworked she fell asleep in the café”, she doesn’t fight it. As she slowly drifts off, she feels something connect with her head, but with all the fatigue clouding her thoughts, she can’t tell what it is.

~~~~

She wakes up to a slanted viewpoint and a faint soreness resting in one specific spot on the side of her head. When she stirs, a soft voice greets her.

“Sleep well?” it murmurs. As her surroundings come into focus, everything slowly begins to slot into place, and Luz shoots up in her seat.

“Oh, Amity, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh… that.” she splutters out. It takes her a moment to recognize the small smile sitting comfortably on Amity’s face.

“Don’t worry about it, Luz. I didn’t mind.” Amity reassures her. When the initial shock passes away, Luz checks her phone.

“It’s past 7pm already???” she nearly shouts. The still relatively loud question remains unanswered by her roommate, who’s face-deep in her own cell phone. She steadies herself with a condensed breathing exercise.

“Who ya talkin’ to, Ams?” Luz asks in a much calmer voice, clarifying “If you don’t mind me asking.” shortly after.

Amity finishes her next message and turns her head back to Luz. She looks like she’s going to withhold the answer, but shakes her head slightly and gives one instead.

“Ed and Em. They sent me this really stupid cryptic message about… our refrigerator running.” she mutters.

“You’ve never heard that one before?” Luz asks. When Amity responds with a blank shake of the head, she asks “Did they tell you to go catch it?” instead with an accompanying eyeroll.

“No, that’s just it. They asked if it was running, sent smiley-faces, and haven’t answered back since.”

Luz’s brows furrow, followed by her eyes shooting open. “We need to go back to the dorm. Now.”

Amity goes to ask something, but before she knows it, Luz is nearly running out of the café.

~~~~

“Oh thank titan, the fridge is still plugged in.” Luz huffs out in between short, exasperated breaths. Amity stands behind her, arms crossed.

“I’m glad they realized that would’ve been way more annoying than retrospectively funny.” Amity mutters. “Good thing you only napped for an hour and a half in either case.” she jests, lightly ribbing Luz with her bony elbow.

Luz shoots her an unamused glare. Amity laughs, and Luz dryly returns her attention to the fridge. She spots something out of the corner of her eye and grabs it.

“They left a note though.” Luz grumbles before reading it aloud.

“Dear Luz and Mittens, we’re sorry to inconvenience you, but we really needed some eggs and didn’t want to pay up the ass for them. Hope you don’t mind that we took yours in a totally legal way, as outlined in this note. Thanks!! Ascii heart, ascii heart, signed Edric.”

“Why did you give them a key to our dorm again?” Luz asks with only a slight  edge of derision. She likes the twins and their antics, but doesn’t like being on the receiving end of pranks in the sanctity of her own… living space. Amity, though visibly annoyed at the sudden and now-not-so-mysterious lack of eggs in their fridge, shrugs.

“They told me it was in case of emergencies. Didn’t your mom get one?”

“No. She didn’t.” Luz states flatly. Amity groans and rolls her eyes. “I hope the twins know we bought those eggs weeks ago, though.”

“Eggs don’t go bad, Luz.”

“They dry up! Or something like that.” Luz retorts.

“Regardless, I’ll be sure to kill them next time we meet up. The twins, not the eggs, I mean.” Amity mutters.

“Y’know, I’d join you, but having a murder on my record might affect my career path.” Luz states.

“Good thing no one will ever find their bodies.” Amity says with a devilish smirk, cracking her knuckles as Luz looks on with a combination of amazement and terror.

“I’ll add ‘don’t piss off my roommate’ to my to-do list.”

“Don’t worry, I think we’re past that point.” Amity says, though Luz doesn’t really understand what she’s getting at. Just like that, the mood shifts again, faster than what Luz can keep up with.

“…what?”

“Oh, uh… kidding. I was kidding. I don’t know. Don’t think too hard about it.” Amity responds. Luz cocks an eyebrow for a second but decides it best to shrug it off.

“Guess we’ll need to go buy more eggs.” Luz says blankly.

“So you can continue to not use them?”

“Listen here, Blight…” Luz starts, but she doesn’t finish that thought, crumbling into laughter instead. Amity follows suit.

Then, Luz gets another bright idea.

“Screw it, let’s go now.”

“Where, the grocery store? Luz, it’s past 7:30 by now.”

“Who cares? Store’s open ‘til ten. I’ve been meaning to grab some more snacks anyway.” Luz says in a loose attempt to justify her off-the-cuff idea.

Amity wrings her hands a bit. Luz is observant enough to recognize the idea of going to a place that’s almost always swarmed with people isn’t one Amity’s a big fan of.

“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” she reminds her roommate.

“No, I want snacks too, and if I have to go get them, I’d rather do it with someone.” Amity replies.

“Works for me. Might want to grab a coat, though.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s not that cold yet.”

“Suit yourself, Blight.” Luz says playfully as she walks out the door, purposefully not waiting for Amity and hoping that gesture comes across as funny above all else. The small punch on the arm and light giggle she receives from her roommate eases her nerves as they walk downstairs to the parking lot.

~~~~

The ride is relatively quiet. The store is only a few minutes away, basically across the street. Once securely stationed in a parking spot, both girls get out and take a moment to plan things out.

“First on the list that doesn’t really exist is snacks, then we’ll go for the eggs.” Luz notes.

“Alright. Lead the way, Luz.” Amity says as she motions for Luz to walk in front of her.

When they walk inside, they’re greeted with a smaller number of shoppers than anticipated, much to their delight. One or two stick out, including an older man who quickly shoots them a weird look, but its manageable. At the very least, they won’t have to awkwardly shove past as many carts left in the middle of the aisles while the current owner window-shops three feet away.

Amity grabs a basket and they make their way to the snack aisles. Luz picks out a few bags of chips, the cheapest ones on offer. As she heads deeper into the rows of colorful bags, she hears some rustling behind her, but doesn’t look at first.

When Luz does look, she stares at the empty basket with some mixture of confusion and annoyance.

“Did you…?”

“Yep. Be a little nicer to yourself.” Amity states. Luz is taken aback at first, but slowly picks up on what Amity is telling her to do.

“Alright, if you insist.” she mumbles as she picks out a few more expensive bags of chips. Amity nods in approval.

“I do insist.”

“You’re such a suck-up, Blight.” Luz says with a laugh. Amity sighs and shakes her head in feigned annoyance, but Luz knows she’s having fun with this. “Old habits die hard, huh.”

When they were friends way back when, she and Amity would often make convenience store runs for Camila. Luz would try and save as much money as she could; Camila being a vet meant they always had enough money to survive, but her being a single mother with a child (later children) meant Luz felt an obligation to be a bit more frugal with their money.

For whatever reason, though, Amity would always compel Luz to pick the better, pricier brands and cover the difference with her own allowance. No matter how much Luz tried to talk her down, Amity would always insist, and Luz knew better than to refuse an insistence from a Blight.

She has to wonder what her parents would’ve thought if they knew Amity was spending money on a friend like that. Or at least, she would wonder, until she remembers what Amity told her.

“My mother hated that I’d been associating with a lower-class family.”

All of a sudden, it isn’t difficult to surmise how her mother found out about them. The thought only lowers her opinion of the Blight matriarch, something she didn’t believe was still possible.

“What’s next?” Amity asks Luz as she shuffles the bags around in the basket.

Luz takes a second to think. Maybe she should’ve written this down.

“Uh… how about the dessert aisle? Could use some cookies n’ whatnot, and since you’re buying…” she says with a smirk.

“Ooh, look out Bonesborough, we’ve got a real Moneybags over here.” Amity jokes.

Luz rolls with it. “And if you give me enough money, I’ll let you see the rest of the store.”

As they share another chuckle and round the corner, Luz could swear just for a moment that they were back in high school, laughing and joking with no knowledge of what was to happen to their friendship.

The downside to all of this is that each little gesture or remark threatens to break down the mental block keeping her true feelings in check. All the while, she hears Ed and Em’s voices in her head, telling her not to keep hiding that part of her, but it’s still too early. Way too early.

“Maybe it’ll always be too early?”

No, no, today has been a good day all things considered. She’s not going to let her negative thoughts win out this time, she’s going to enjoy this… whatever you’d call this. Hangout? Adventure? Something like that.

After much searching, they find a small stack of egg cartons sitting next to the dairy section. Luz quietly curses and throws up a middle finger when she sees the rows of milk jugs sitting just to her left, something Amity giggles at. Luz smiles at the sound.

“Anything else we need?” Amity asks.

“Nothing else on the ol’ list, as far as I know.” Luz answers as she takes a quick look around their present spot. She spots tubs of ice cream neatly arranged in the aisle behind them.

“Actually, I’m adding something to the list right now.” she backtracks as she makes a beeline for the freezers. Amity rushes after her, awkwardly stopping to pick up one of the bags of chips when it falls out.

“Luz, please don’t run away like that, we’re lucky the eggs didn’t- what are you looking for?”

Luz doesn’t answer. In the moment, she’s intently focused on searching for one specific variety that she hasn’t had in months.

“¡¡Aha, lo encontré!!”  she exclaims upon grabbing a tub from the freezer in one swift motion.

“Found what?”

“This!!” Luz says as she holds up the tub for Amity to read it.

“Coffee ice cream, chocolate and crème cookie chunks, cookie dough bits, and chocolate swirl? Sounds like a lot… and you don’t even really like coffee!”

“I like it when its loaded with sweet, sugary bits that drown out the coffee taste.” Luz retorts.

“Suit yourself, weirdo.” Amity replies with a hand wave.

“Don’t you want to pick a flavor for yourself?” Luz asks her as she puts the tub in the basket.

“I mean, I don’t need any…” she deflects.

“Nice try, Blight. Pick a flavor, any flavor!” Luz comes back with, jazz hands once again on full display in a public space.

Amity sighs and takes a long look at the freezer in front of her. She pulls out a tub of plain vanilla and begrudgingly puts it in the basket as well.

“Sure it’s not too spicy for ya?” Luz questions with a sly grin. Amity rolls her eyes.

“Go to hell.” she replies, upbeat enough for Luz to tell she’s not being serious. “It’s what I like.”

“Nothing wrong with that. C’mon, let’s go check out. Self-checkout okay with you?”

“Better than having to talk to a clerk.”

“Awesome, le-“ Luz pauses.

Amidst the few people at the other end of the aisle, she swears she sees a flash of green peeking out from where she can’t see, but as soon as she spots it, it’s gone.

“What’s wrong, Luz?” Amity asks her after a second of silence.

“Huh… I thought I saw something. Follow my lead, don’t walk too fast.” she instructs.

Amity cocks a brow but nods, and the two slowly shuffle to the end of the aisle. Luz counts down without a word, and with a quick spring forward, looks around the bakery section for whatever it is she saw.

To her surprise, the only out-of-the-ordinary thing that she sees is an empty cart without a driver. And it’s definitely not green or tall enough to be what she thinks she saw.

“Luz?” Amity questions quietly, basket tucked securely under her arm.

“Ha, never mind. Must’ve been seeing things.” Luz settles on, though she’s not truly content with the lack of resolution to that plot thread.

“Still a weirdo.” Amity muses with a slight smile as she walks towards the checkout, not waiting for Luz. She soon catches up to her roommate, chuckling the whole time.

They make it back to the front of the store and quietly slip into the self-checkout area. There’s an open machine, so they take it without hesitation as Amity reminds Luz that it’s almost 8:30pm.

When they put the basket on the pathetic slab of metal they expect people to use as a counter, though, Luz notices something off.

“Y’know, if that brand of ice cream was too cheap, ya coulda said something, Ams.”

“What? I didn’t put it back.”

“Then where is it?”

“In the basket?”

Luz motions to the basket with both hands. Amity looks down and pauses.

“… I see the problem.” she mutters after a second.

Luz sighs. “I’m gonna run back and grab some more. Check the rest of the stuff out while I’m gone, I’ll give you what I owe when we get back to the dorm.”

Amity looks concerned. “Luz, wait, I-“

“I’ll only be a second, I promise.” Luz assures her. Amity goes to say something, but doesn’t. Luz hesitates, but ultimately ends up running back to the freezer aisles.

Unfortunately, when she finds the tubs of ice cream tubs, there’s a small problem:

“There’s no more coffee-cookie… or vanilla???”  she says to no one in particular. “What the hell?”

Try as she might to find any, there’s no more of either variety in the freezer. She knows for a fact there were more tubs of both flavors just a few minutes ago, but their spots in the freezer are uninhabited.

“Welp. That’s not happening.” she mutters as she walks out of the aisle. Someone’s moved the empty cart by now, at least.

Things get worse when she makes her way back to the self-checkout. A small line has formed, one that includes the grumpy older guy they saw on their way in. He looks even more frustrated now, to the point that he’s nearly yelling at someone. Luz can only make out what he’s saying once she’s close enough.

“Sir! Yeah, you, in the skirt! You’re holding up the line, some of us have places to be!”

Then, she sees Amity, clutching the hem of her skirt and bouncing one of her legs, looking like she’s on the verge of a panic attack. Luz’s fight or flight kicks in; she steps up to the man and looks him straight in the eye.

“Listen here asshole, leave my friend alone! She was waiting for me, and if you want to get out of here faster, you’d better let me through!” she shouts at the man.

When he doesn’t move, she shoves past him, ignoring the gasps and murmurs from the surrounding people as she rushes to Amity’s side.

“Amity, I’m here, are you okay?”

“L-Luz?” she asks, like she’s only now aware of her surroundings. “I’m holding u-up the line, a-and people are getting angry…” she nearly whispers.

“Forget about them. They didn’t have any more ice cream.”

“… I’m sorry, I didn’t finish scanning everythi-“

“Don’t worry about that either, I’ve got it covered.”

Luz shoots an angry glare back at the man. "Si tan solo tuviera mi bate conmigo..."  she mutters to herself as she scans the remaining items.

As soon as she’s finished, Amity quickly hands her the cash and she shoves it into the machine. Like clockwork, Luz grabs the change and coupons the machine spits out, and immediately grabs their bags before dipping out of the store.

~~~~

*No track playing*

Luz chucks the bags in the trunk of her car and then turns back to Amity. She’s not crying or physically hurt (“Thank titan.”), but the encounter has left its own marks.

She attempts to apologize. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone there. I-I didn’t see that jerk there, I wouldn’t have left if I’d seen him…”

Amity sighs. “… i-it’s fine, Luz. I’m okay.”

“No, I shouldn’t have left you there! I was being stupid, again!”  she almost shouts.

“Luz!” Amity nearly shouts back.

Luz feels her eyes start to water. Her thoughts begin to flare up again, try as she might to suppress them. She did it again, she let Amity get hurt. Every time she thinks she’s doing better, she screws up again. Why is Amity even bothering with her at this point?

“I messed up again.” Luz mutters. A single tear drops from her eye, before being wiped away by her roommate's hand.

“Is… that what this is about?” Amity asks, softly cupping Luz' cheek. Luz doesn’t look up at her.

“Luz, listen to me. You didn’t know what was going to happen. I wish you hadn’t left me there, but… it’s over, and we’re okay. It’s not a big deal.”

Luz struggles to respond. All her worries, all her fears that she’s going to push Amity away again come rushing back to the surface.

*Begin Track 15: Marcel*

“… I-I… I’m sorry, Amity… I-I keep screwing up. I-I don’t… I don’t know why you keep…”

“Keep trying to be your friend?” Amity asks, her voice calm but shaky.

Luz nods silently, attempting to keep herself as steady as she can.

“Luz, we’re going to screw up. It’s going to happen. We’re not perfect, e-especially after all we’ve gone through. I promise, I’m not upset with you. M-my anxiety flared up, a-and I got scared… but that’s not your fault! It was that stupid jerkoff’s fault!”

Luz looks up at her. Amity’s face is dotted with its own tears, but to Luz’ surprise, she’s smiling.

“You were ready to go to town that guy, even with everyone watching. You were looking out for me… that’s more than I could ever ask of you.” she says, as confidently as she can sound with puffy eyes and a lump in her throat.

Then, Amity pulls her into a tight hug. It’s sudden, and Luz isn’t sure how to react at first, but Amity continues regardless.

“Even if we’re not perfect… I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you, Luz. I-I… I’m glad I get to have you as a friend again, and I want you to know that I’m not going to leave you… a-and I l-”

She stops when Luz hugs her back with all her strength. Amity softly strokes Luz’ hair, silently waiting for Luz to let herself finish crying. Her thoughts race.

“Amity’s my friend again. She’s not mad at me. She’s not going to leave me.”

For the first time since they’ve been together again, she fully believes that.

When she runs out of tears, she slowly lifts her head and looks at Amity again. The only thing illuminating her face is the floodlight above them. In that moment, Amity is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. It takes all the rest of her willpower to stop herself from doing… something stupid.

She wants to tell Amity everything, about how she wants to hold on to her forever and tell her how much she cares. She wants Amity to know just how much she values their friendship, and even if she keeps messing up, she wants Amity to stay with her as long as possible. She’s going to do better, she’s going to keep their friendship alive. She’s…

… three small words float through her head. She wants to say them to her, but… it’s still too early. It just doesn’t feel right yet, as much as she wants it to.

So she goes for something else instead.

“Th-Thank you, Amity.” she mumbles through a sniffle.

Amity offers a small smile. “Of course, Luz. You mean a lot to me, really.”

They stand there in silence for a moment. Luz cleans her face up the best she can, not wanting to look too much like a wreck in public, because…

“Oh. We’re… still outside.” she realizes.

“Mhm.” Amity hums. “Why don’t we go home?”

“Home?”

“The, uh… the dorm, I mean.” Amity clarifies. “We’ll get your ice cream another time. And we’ll kill the twins and that old asshole when we get it, too.”

Luz laughs for the first time in what feels like hours. “Of course we will.”

Amity hums again for a second. “Give me your keys, I’ll drive.” she says.

“You sure?”

“You just spent ten minutes crying on my shoulder in a grocery store parking lot. I’ll drive.”

Luz eyes her friend with joking suspicion, but relents and hands over her keys.

Before they move for opposite sides of the car, though, Amity pulls her in, but it’s not for a hug this time. Instead, she presses a gentle kiss onto Luz’ cheek. It’s quick, and it’s over before she knows it, and it takes her a moment to process it. And it’s soft, incredibly soft, and…

“Oh… oh. I-I… I’m sorry, I…” Amity splutters, her cheeks red.

The fog around her brain begins to clear. “It’s okay, Amity.” Luz assures her.

“… I-I didn’t… y-you just, and I-I-“

“Amity. It’s okay. I… I don’t mind.”

Amity looks up at her; Luz notices the shine of the floodlight illuminating the shorter girl’s dark blue eyes. Luz doesn’t know what’s running through Amity’s head, but… she just gave Luz a kiss. She has no idea what to think, but… they’re still friends.

They get in the car and drive home in silence. It’s a bit awkward, but Luz doesn’t mind, and Amity doesn’t look upset or anything. In fact, she almost looks… pleased.

“… maybe it won’t be too early forever.”

Notes:

*g a l p a l s*

my neck decided to fuck itself while writing this, it’s a sign but idk for what lmao

seems things are ramping up for our mains! i sure hope nothing weird and unexpected happens next week! hope to see you then! ;)

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 12: suburban wonderland

Summary:

Luz accompanies Willow to the annual Fall Festival in Bonesborough.

Notes:

the final chapter of arc 3, and it’s… a luz and willow chapter? in a lumity fic? huh?

im tired and didn’t proofread this, if there’s any problems ill fix em tomorrow haha

Track 16: Hamilton South by Vacations
Track 17: suburban wonderland by BETWEEN FRIENDS

*No track playing*

luzura~ (11:06): betcha didnt think id catch on to that ice cream stunt huh

ED_RIC (11:08): i have no idea what you’re talking about all i did was take some eggs :D

EM_IRA (11:08): you cant prove anything luz lmao

luzura~ (11:09): you’re next.

 

Luz stands outside the commons building, debating whether it’s too late to call off her plans with Willow and spend the afternoon hunting down the Blight twins instead. It’s not necessarily their fault Amity nearly had a panic attack at the supermarket a few days ago, but that doesn’t automatically make them faultless either.

They set it all up, Luz had figured out. The eggs were just the beginning: the twins camped out at the supermarket until Luz and Amity picked out their ice cream, proceeded to take said ice cream from their basket when they weren’t looking, then took every tub of their selected flavors out of the freezer and carted them away before Luz could get to them. Diabolical, really, but also massively infuriating.

She still feels bad about the whole misgendering incident, something she could’ve prevented if she had just not run away like Amity asked her twice. She’s still mad at herself for that, even after Amity assured her it was alright multiple times and offered a literal shoulder to cry on that evening.

They didn’t talk much the next day. Amity didn’t seem to jovial after sleeping on what she did, as far as Luz could tell. She couldn’t possibly know what Amity’s thinking after… that, but if it’s anything like what Luz is feeling, then it’s going to take a lot of floor-lying to figure out where to go from here.

She replays the events in her mind every so often, analyzing every stray detail. Amity talked her down from a spiral, remaining unflinching as she self-destructed.

Then Amity made absolutely sure that she was alright, letting her air her feelings for minutes on end until she had no more to air…

… then Amity called their dorm their “home”, for some reason, before correcting herself…

… then Amity offe- well, more like insisted that she drive her “home”…

… then Amity pulled her towards her again, her eyes sparkling…

… and then she kissed her on the cheek…

…

Willow’s blue and white pickup truck rounds the bend into the parking lot and comes to a halt in front of Luz. The loud hum of the engine doesn’t break her out of her thoughts, but Willow’s sweet voice does.

“Ready to head to the festival, Luz?”

She looks up from her phone and hastily shoves it into her pocket before nodding and climbing inside.

“You doing okay?” Willow asks her softly, apparently having noticed Luz’ reserved attitude.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” she half-truths. When Willow raises an eyebrow, she reveals her hand. “A lot of… stuff happened recently, with Amity. Nothing bad, just… it’s a lot.” she says quietly.

“Oh… do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now… maybe later.”

“Alright, away we go.” Willow chimes. Luz smiles a little.

“Today is going to be a good day.” she tells herself. After all that’s happened between her and Amity, she’s looking forward to a quiet, uncomplicated day with one of her best friends.

~~~~

The drive is quiet, save for the music softly billowing from the truck’s speakers. Luz recognizes a few of the songs, no doubt as a result of Willow’s taste in music having influenced a lot of her own. The two would often send new songs to one another throughout the day.

They drive down to a small parking lot on the north edge of town, at the bottom of a small embankment next to what looks like a deli sandwich shop. Luz hasn’t ventured far into Bonesborough proper up until this point, so most of the sights are unfamiliar and fresh. They disembark and Willow stretches, making a cute noise that Luz can’t keep herself from giggling at.

*Begin Track 16: Hamilton South*

Despite it being the middle of October, Willow’s dressed like it’s early summer, wearing high-waisted blue jeans that cut off just above her boots and a plain yellow tee shirt tied-off and turned into a makeshift crop-top. A messenger bag is draped over her shoulder. It’s not exactly chilly, really, but Luz still decided to throw on her heavier letterman jacket just in case the temps decided to dip.

A cool breeze floats through the air, the half-clouded sky offering little pockets of sunshine every so often. She can hear a band playing further up, drawing her and her friend closer with each measure played. People pass by them, looking eager to take in everything the bustling festival has to offer.

“The perfect vibe for a Fall Festival.”  Luz thinks.

“C’mon Luz, there’s so much to do! We can’t waste any time!” Willow chirps as she takes Luz by the hand. She starts to jog up the steep embankment, and Luz follows suit, keeping up their pace as best she can until they reach the main road on top.

There’s so much going on at once, so much to take in and see and do. Small stands pepper the sidewalk, selling everything from craft goods to tasty treats. Festival-goers shuffle around in between taller brick buildings, storefronts lining their bases while apartments overlook the crowded street. And all the while, the band plays on.

Normally, Willow would stop and make sure Luz isn’t overwhelmed. Fortunately for her, though, Willow also knows when to break Luz out of her comfort zone and just throw her into things. If not for that, Luz would probably end up sitting on a bench for most of the afternoon, content to remain in her own little world as the rest of the world experiences life in her place.

Willow takes her to the source of the music, a quartet of musicians strumming and drumming away on the corner of the central square. In an unexpected gesture, Willow stops and spins her around once, effortlessly blending them into the rest of the people dancing to the steady beat. They stay there for a few moments more, swaying and laughing in relaxed motions.

“This is so much fun!” Willow chimes as they come to a stop. “The festival always completes the season, it really wouldn’t be Bonesborough without it.”

“You’d almost think this was an entirely different city.” Luz says with a small smile.

“That’s why I love the festival so much. Bonesborough is fine as it is, but the Festival almost tricks me into thinking it’s something smaller, something more…” Willow trails off.

“… like a community.” Luz finishes for her.

Willow blinks, then smiles. “Yeah, like a community, where everyone knows everyone.” She pauses and takes a look around at the surrounding crowds. “All the people here look like friends, even if they’re don’t know anyone else’s names. It’s really nice.”

“It reminds me of Gravesfield.” Luz says. “We really only had one a few stores along Main Street that people would go to, but that meant you knew the names of all the shopkeepers. You don’t get that many other places.”

“Was it anything like this?” Willow asks curiously.

“Not really. We had a few stores, like this record shop that left their doors open so you could hear their music outside. And an arcade with a lot of neon lights dotting the windows. Oh, there were a few restaurants, small ones but with surprisingly good food.”

“Sounds like a place I’d enjoy, if I’m being honest.” Willow replies with a dreamy sigh.

“You should come visit in the summer, my family wouldn’t mind. Gus could come too!” Luz mentions eagerly. Having Willow and Gus visit her in Gravesfield would be a great time.

“That’s a good idea, we should make it happen.” Willow says, though her expression drops slightly.

Luz continues reminiscing about her hometown out loud. “I used to frequent a few of the shops, that’s how I learned the owners’ names. In high school, I used to spend a lot of time on Main Street after school, I’d go into a few of them and just take some time to relax. Sometimes Amity would join me, and we always had a good time, up until… well, y’know.”

There she goes, bringing up her roommate again. It happens without much of a second thought; she didn’t necessarily mean to bring up Amity, but it’s hard not to when the topic of her high school years comes up.

“You could’ve invited her, you know.” Willow suggests. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Sure, but… I don’t know, I’m not sure she would’ve had fun.” Luz says quietly, only barely loud enough for Willow to hear her over the music.

The smile on her friend’s face drops a bit more. Luz blinks, then recognizes that expression.

“Oh, uh… sorry, didn’t mean to get, like, sad, or anything.”

The smile returns to Willow’s face in full force as she places a hand on Luz’ shoulder. “It’s fine, Luz,” she says, “just don’t hesitate to talk to me about it if you want to, okay?”

“I won’t. Thanks, Willow.” Luz replies, smiling back at her best friend.

“Now, what do you say we find something to eat, it’s nearly… 12:15 already!” Willow chimes as she pauses to check her phone.

Luz nods in turn, and the two head further into the festival.

*Begin Track 17: suburban wonderland (set to loop)*

The two end up finding a stand on one of the side streets selling homemade pulled pork with a variety of sauces. The mac and cheese served with their sandwiches isn’t too bad either according to Willow, since Luz wouldn’t know: there’s no way in hell she’s using a public porta-potty in case her insides go haywire.

“You’ve got sauce on your face, Willow.” Luz says through a muffled laugh.

“That’s how you know this is the good stuff!” Willow replies, eagerly taking another bite of her sandwich as it nearly falls apart in her hands. Luz smiles, knowing Willow’s having a great time so far.

They finish up their lunch and head back into the fray of the festival. The roads have cleared out a slight bit, presumably since some of the people have already left. Luz and Willow were a bit late, considering the festival started at 10am, but they had agreed to hold off so Luz wouldn’t get burnt out too quickly. Willow’s always looking out for her like tha-

“Luz, look over there! There’s a stand selling Azura merchandise!” Willow says, pointing to a lone stand at the end of the street. “Let’s check it out!”

Luz barely has time to eke out an answer as Willow gently pulls her through the crowd. They narrowly avoid the other festival-goers, lightly jogging down the street as the wind blows Willow’s braids into Luz’ face.

They reach the stand in record time, and Luz immediately takes note of the curator: a short, stout man sitting in a metal folding chair, copies of all the current Azura books and tons of collectible plushies and keychains and pencils and other goodies strewn around the counter.

“Oh, welcome, welcome! My first customers of the day, finally!” the man congratulates himself. “Please tell me you’re here to buy and not to window-shop, it wasn’t easy or cheap to procure all this wonderful merchandise!”

Luz doesn’t respond, eyeing the stand and its owner closely as she examines his wares. She’s spent so much time on eBuy scoffing at overpriced hand-me-down merch that it’s easy to spot when she’s being scammed. At first glance, none of the stuff on offer looks out-of-the-ordinary, but it does look a little pricey.

Willow answers for her. “My friend here is super into Azura, I’m sure something will catch her eye.” she says with a smile and a nod.

“Excellent, excellent!” the man squeals. “I only sell top-quality merchandise, all publisher-certified authentic! Here, take a business card, I run an online store as well!”

Willow takes the card from his hand and nudges Luz in the arm, breaking her out of her unconfirmed musings. Without a word, she accepts the card from Willow, but she nearly bursts out laughing when she reads the name plastered at the top of it in swirly cursive text.

“Mister… Tibbles?”

“The one and only! One of the highest rated sellers on thewitchyworldofazura.com, certified by site staff!”

“Uh-huh. That tracks.” Luz says, cocking a brow.

“What, uh… what ever do you mean, young woman?” The man questions, beads of sweat visible on his forehead now.

“I’ve been around the block enough times to know a scalper when I see one. How many bots did it take to ‘acquire’ all this merchandise?” Luz spouts back as she (lightly) slams her fists on the table.

The man scoffs, clearly offended, and crosses his arms. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, miss. All of my merchandise is legally obtained and one-hundred percent authentic!”

“I’m not questioning your authenticity, I’m questioning your ethics. Anyone who uses bots to snatch up products from honest, eager fans has no place in the fandom! We’ll be leaving now.” Luz says with a smirk and a fake pompous bow. “Good day, sir.”

“Wait, wait, m-maybe we can work out a deal, haggle a little? Th-There’s a collectible lunchbox here with your name on it, miss!” he sputters.

Luz’s smile grows. “I already have it.” she chides.

The man’s mouth falls open, the shock of having been bested by a true Azura fan having done a number on his ego. Luz takes Willow by the hand and leads her away, the two giggling and chuckling the entire time as the man shouts some expletives that they don’t listen to.

When they get back to the main square, Willow turns to head towards their car.

“Don’t tell me you’re ready to go already, wildflower! We’ve barely been here an hour!” Luz states.

“Oh, we’re not going home yet, but I want to show you something. We have to head back to the car first, okay?” Willow says quietly, a smile on her face. Luz can tell she’s hiding something, in this case something devious.

“Oh, uh… alright. Let’s go, then.” Luz answers.

They trundle down the hill to the truck, Willow beckoning Luz inside once they arrive. Whatever she’s planning, it must be something big; she wouldn’t pull Luz back to the truck for nothing. She pulls her messenger bag over her head and opens it before reaching inside.

“What did you…?”

“Hold on, I’ve almost got it.” Willow dodges. “It’s in here somewhere…”

When she finally pulls it out, accidentally pulling out some lip balm and napkins that fall to the floor as well, Luz’s eyes shoot open.

In her hand is the latest Azura book, the one Luz doesn’t have yet. She saw it back at the stand, but definitely wasn’t going to pay Tibbles’ up-charged price, not after saving up a few hard-earned dollars from work every week.

“Willow, what did you do? You didn’t pay him for that, did you?” she asks hesitantly, quickly reaching for her wallet. “L-Let me pay you ba-“

“I didn’t buy it.” Willow says with a devilish smile.

Luz pauses and pulls her hands away from her pocket. Willow didn’t buy it, so she must’ve…

“Willow!” Luz nearly shouts, gently shaking Willow by the shoulders.

“Surprise, heh heh!”

“You stole? From a vendor?”

“Well, when you said he’s a scalper, I figured it was my civic duty to scalp back. While you were giving him what for, I snuck this into my bag!”

Luz lets go of her friend and sits back in the passenger seat. Willow’s never been one to break the rules before, especially not with a stunt this risky.

“You… didn’t have to do this for me, Willow. I-If we get caught…” Luz mumbles, her anxiety flaring up again.

“We won’t get caught. I doubt that guy will even notice it’s gone, he had like thirty copies of that book at his stand. Besides, he’s a scalper, he’s probably got a hundred more at home!” Willow surmises with a chuckle. The sound entices Luz to relax a little, though she’s still worried about Tibbles noticing a book is missing, even if he has tons.

“… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Willow. This means a lot to me.” Luz says quietly. Willow nods her head, but Luz continues with a small smile. “So much for ‘no schemes, no plots, and no ruses’ Willow.”

“I never did mention anything about shenanigans.” Willow says, laughing heartily.

If Luz was worried a minute ago, she’s completely relaxed now. She didn’t expect to be an accomplice to a crime, but at the end of the day, that Tibbles guy deserved it for snatching copies away from honest consumers.

“How’s about we head back, do some actual shopping for a bit?” Willow suggests.

“Of course. I gotta pay you back for that book, after all.” Luz half-jokes.

“No chance, Luzura.” Willow jokes back, booping Luz on the nose as she says it. Luz spits out a laugh as Willow exits the truck, following suit only after she realizes Willow’s halfway up the hill without her in tow.

~~~~

They return to the festival proper, passing by more stalls and stands selling arts and crafts as they walk down the center street. Willow stops at a few of them, notably all the ones selling flower-themed items. Each time, Luz watches as her eyes light up at the sight of a possible gift for either herself or someone else (that she’s going to pay for, of course).

Soon they stroll up to a small stand selling what looks like custom-made earrings. To her surprise, she knows the person running the stand from work.

“Viney, you make earrings???” Luz asks incredulously before even greeting her coworker.

“Well hey to you too, Luz!” Viney responds with crossed arms, but the smile on her face lets Luz know she isn’t being serious. Then, she motions for Luz to come closer before wrapping her into a hug over the table littered with colorful jewelry.

“How’s my favorite coworker?” she asks after she lets go.

“Fine enough, just enjoying the festival with my friend Willow he- Oh! I didn’t even introduce her!” Luz says with an awkward chuckle. “Viney, this is Willow, one of my friends from college!”

“Nice to meet’cha, Willow!” Viney exclaims, offering a hand to Willow who takes it immediately.

“I love all your stuff, it’s so pretty! Did you make them all yourself?” she asks the peppy shopkeep.

“Most of ‘em, yeah. It’s just a little side business I run, selling on Artsy mainly.”

“You never told me you make jewelry!” Luz says half-seriously, chuckling as she does so.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Luz. I’m full of surprises!” Viney says, throwing her arms out like she’s posing for a photo with all her stuff.

“Is Jerbo here too, or just yourself?” Luz asks, having noticed his absence and knowing he and Viney hang out pretty much all the time outside of work.

“Nah, he had other plans for today and couldn’t make it. I have a helper though, he’s-“ she turns around to point at the blonde boy sitting behind her, almost completely out of sight, “-helping me count the money.”

“Hunter…” Luz mutters, looking over Viney’s shoulder to see him. They haven’t spoken at all since their initial meeting, save for a few days after that meeting where Darius brought Hunter out to apologize. Luz accepted, but that was the end of their interactions; and yet, here they both are, unexpectedly crossing paths at the Fall Festival of all places.

Hunter looks up when he notices he’s being watched. Luz immediately looks away, fearing that he’s going to go off on her again. To her surprise, though, he gets up and joins Viney at the table.

“Nice to see you outside of work and college, Luz.” he says quietly. Luz stares, half in shock and half in awkwardness.

“Nice to… see you too, Hunter.” Luz says before pausing again. “Wait, college? I didn’t think you-“

“I-I attend Hexside, I just don’t… stick around much. I tried once, but got frustrated during a pool game in the lounge and left. You, uh… you were there, actually, now that I think about it.” he says in a low voice.

Luz thinks back to her first visit to the lounge. Before Gus’ first match, Matty was playing against a taller blonde kid who almost threw his cue after he lost…

“… that was you?!”  Luz nearly shouts before intentionally lowering her voice. “I didn’t even realize! You should come back sometime, I could introduce you to my fr-“ she stops, once again realizing she hasn’t introduced Willow.

“… speaking of which, this is Willow! One of those friends I just told you about.” Luz says with a smile. Willow and Hunter exchange small waves as Luz smiles at them.

“Hm… give me a second.” Hunter says after a moment. He turns to one of the side tables and looks around before picking up two gold earrings, each adorned with a red and purple flower. He turns back, motions for Willow to move closer, and quietly asks “May I?” while looking straight at her.

Willow bends forward slightly over the table, and Hunter holds the earrings up to her ears, making a few faces as his eyes move back and forth. Luz and Viney watch silently, not daring to say a word as Hunter works.

“I think these would look really, uh… nice, on you. I-If you like them.” he stutters. Considering he purposely works in the storeroom at work to avoid customers, the fact he’s basically being a total salesman right now is a heck of a surprise to Luz.

Willow nods and takes them from Hunter as he offers them to her. She stares at them, lost in thought; Luz shares a glance with Viney, who’s since stepped out from behind the table and taken a spot next to Luz.

“How much for ‘em?” Luz whispers.

“Forty bones. Cough it up, Luz.” she whispers back with a hushed laugh.

Luz pulls out her wallet and hands Viney two twenties. They nod at each other, and Viney quickly slips back around to the cash register. The loud chime it makes startles Willow and Hunter, causing Luz and Viney to laugh inadvertently. Hunter growls quietly, causing Luz to stop laughing and look back at her other coworker.

“He’ll be fine, he’s used to my antics by now. Now, if you don’t mind, I have other customers to sell to.” she says with a lighthearted smirk. Luz sticks her tongue out in response as Willow chuckles. The two wave goodbye to Viney and Hunter before returning to the busy street.

“Now we’re even.” Luz jokes as they walk. Willow rolls her eyes, apparently not wanting to argue about Luz spending money on her just yet, but she’s smiling nonetheless.

They spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around, occasionally eyeing a few more stands and buying some random goodies. A new beanie for Luz courtesy of an older woman selling knitted clothes, a fancy-shmancy homemade pot for Willow to put her flowers in, and even a few retro video games from a local game store’s tent.

Time passes faster than they realize, though, and soon enough, it’s close to 5pm.

“Kinda crazy how we spent five hours just walking around and buying stuff. Mi mamá’s gonna freak out when she sees my bank statement.” Luz says, half seriously.

“Hey, we had a good time though! I mean, I had a good time, but did you?” Willow asks curiously.

“Of course I did! I got to hang out with my best friend for an entire afternoon, it’s been forever since we’ve done this! Honestly we should do this more often.” Luz answers.

“Good, we will. Gus and I were eyeing the future releases at the movie theaters around here, there’s a few we’re both pretty interested in. I’ll send you the list when we get home!”

“Sounds good to me.” Luz replies. Then she thinks a bit: it’s dinnertime, and she doesn’t quite want to go back to the dorms yet, so she comes up with another spur-of-the-moment idea.

“Do you want to go grab somethin’ to eat before we head back?” Luz asks her friend.

“Oh, absolutely! Where do you want to go!” Willow answers enthusiastically.

“Hm… how do you feel about diner food?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice, let’s go!”

And with that, they practically race back to the truck and head off to dinner.

~~~~

Luz takes Willow to the diner the twins showed her a bit ago. In a slight reversal, Luz goes for breakfast, while Willow orders a cheeseburger and fries.

“Breakfast for dinner, Luz? Not the most ‘normal’ option.” Willow says with a giggle.

“Why not, there’s no bad time for bacon and eggs!” Luz retorts.

They chat about their classes and what Gus might be up to. Willow isn’t exactly forthcoming when Luz asks her why he scheduled his excursion this weekend, and whether she knows the real reason or not, Luz decides not to push the issue. She wishes he was here, and Willow probably does too, but things happen.

When they finish, Luz graciously foots the entire bill plus the tip, to Willow’s dismay.

“No fair, Luz!”

“You stole a book for me, so now you have to face the consequences.” Luz whispers with a sly smile as she puts the money down on the table. Willow pouts, and Luz can’t help but laugh.

~~~~

They return to the dorm just after sundown. After a quiet walk up to the second floor, Willow turns to Luz outside of her dorm.

“I had a good time today, Luz. Thank you for coming with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Willow. I wanted to go with you!”

“I know, but…” Willow pauses, then continues after a moment. “After Gus backed out, I wasn’t sure you’d want to spend time with me alone. Kind of weird, just the two of us hanging out, usually it’s all three of us. It turned out okay, though, I think.”

Luz nods in recognition. “Yeah, the idea was kind of weird to me at first. I told Amity that…” Luz trails off, the newest inadvertent mention of her friend bringing back a flood of thoughts.

“Hey, you can talk to me about it. Do you want to come inside?” Willow asks gently.

Luz considers. She’d rather go back to her dorm and relax, but Amity’s probably there, so… maybe talking to Willow is a better idea.

“Sure, I’ll join you.”

With that, Willow nods and opens the door for them.

~~~~

“Then, after I was done crying… she kissed me. On the cheek.” Luz finishes explaining, the warm sensation from the mug of tea in her hands relaxing her a bit. Willow sits next to her on the couch, listening intently.

“You… don’t know how to feel about it, then? I thought-“

“I did. O-Or I do, I don’t know. Things between us are so… complicated right now.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“I figured you’d ask me that.” Luz says with a despondent sigh. “No. I should, though.”

“Beat me to it.” Willow replies.

“I will, I promise. We’ll work it out.”

As Luz says that, she slowly rests her head on Willow’s shoulder. She doesn’t necessarily mean to, but it feels like a natural thing to do, so she does it. Willow rests her hand softly on Luz’ head.

“Remember when we first tried to talk to each other after camp?” Willow asks quietly.

Luz chuckles. “I was so awkward that I spent twenty minutes writing each Wizcord message, even if it was only four words.”

“And now we’re best friends, going to college together. Who would’ve thought?”

“Only because you and Gus were so kind to me. After your childhood friend-” Luz stops herself. She isn't sure if Willow wants to talk about that, but the words fly out too fast.

“It wasn’t easy for me either, Luz. I wasn’t sure if… if you were going to put me through the same wringer. But I knew from the moment I met you that you wouldn’t. I don’t know what it was, but… I knew we’d be friends for a good while.” Willow muses out-loud. Luz is surprised at the response.

“You took a big gamble, befriending me. A lot of other people didn’t take that chance.”

“I’m glad I did.” Willow says quietly. “I’m really glad I did.”

Luz picks her head up and sees Willow smiling at her. Her round face accentuates her dimples as freckles dot her cheeks. The purple light strips in the upper corners of the room coat the entire space in a pretty light, though it doesn’t play well with the pink, yellow, and cyan colors of the pride flag behind the couch.

Before she knows it, her face is barely a few millimeters from Willow’s.

“Must’ve gotten too caught up in the details.” Luz thinks, completely oblivious to the blush adorning her friend’s face.

Then, without warning… Willow’s eyes shoot open and she backs up a little.

“I’ve, uh… I’ve got some studying to catch up on tonight. I-I’ll send you the movie list… sometime.”

“Oh, o-of course. I’ll… leave you to your work.” Luz mumbles meekly, her head spinning in fifty different directions as she forces herself off the couch.

She leaves the mug on the counter and awkwardly waves to her friend, who awkwardly waves back. As Luz leaves, she doesn’t know what to make of what just happened.

“There’s no way that… that just happened.” she thinks to herself as she walks upstairs.

She makes it to her dorm and finds no sign of her roommate, collapsing on her bed as the image of Willow drenched in dark lights casts a fog over her thoughts.

“We’re still friends… right?”

Notes:

oops! :)

and so ends arc 3 of my silly fanfic shenanigans! and look at that, a chapter that finally breached 5K words! uh… sorry about that, haha. it won’t happen again if i can help it, i know long chapters are a chore to read so ill try and cut back for the next arcs.

in any case, im gonna take a week away from affection to work on some valentines day oneshots (one lumity angst/fluff, one gustholomule mutual pining) so those can come out (HAHA) close to the Big Gay Day. I still want affection to wrap up the week before Watching And Dreaming airs though, so you’ll end up with two chapters some week in the future (it’ll prolly be 16 and 17 that come out at once).

in either case, hope to see you around for those and for ch13 in two weeks! <3

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Chapter 13: rocks like this

Summary:

Luz takes Amity to the lounge for some pool, and finally introduces her to Willow and Gus.

Notes:

welcome to arc 4! where we build up to something big by doing the exact opposite: showcasing chill hexolio shenanigans with just a dose of hidden feelings and angst

Track 18: Rocks Like This by Funk Fiction

*No track playing*

Luz wakes up the next morning with a scratchy throat and a brain as scrambled as her probably-mom’s eggs. It takes a good half an hour for her mind to boot up and recognize that it’s supposed to be doing things, but as soon as it gets to work, her thoughts begin to spin.

She meagerly claws her way out of bed, accidentally pulling the covers halfway off her bed as she gracelessly slides off. Vowing to fix it later, she immediately trundles over to the coffeemaker and pops a single-serve cup of hot tea into the top.

It’s a cold morning, not too unusual for a late October morning in Connecticut. A cup of hot tea should do her a lot of good in both waking and warming her up.

Unfortunately, that’s not the only thing that accomplishes her goal.

She hears snoring emanating from the bed on the other side of the room. Amity must’ve arrived back to the dorm sometime after Luz fell asleep; she definitely wasn’t here after Luz came back from… Willow’s dorm.

Soon, her thoughts clear a little, instead twisting into a messy recreation of what happened last night with her best friend. It all seems so… familiar, her and Willow spending the day together, only to end up…

Luz shakes her head in a vain attempt to get her inner thoughts to shut up. She and Willow are friends, they both know that. Unfortunately, things with her old friend are very much… not that simple anymore.

Said old friend comfortably snoozing the morning away next to the opposite wall. Luz can see the blankets rising and sinking in a perfect rhythm. It sets her thoughts ablaze again, thinking of their outing and the chaos that ensued in the parking lot.

She knows she and Willow are friends, and she’s fine with that. But Amity… it’s getting harder and harder to deny how she really feels about her former friend, the one she spent so much time thinking about and even more time missing.

Luz lets out a quiet sigh, feeling her ears heat up. The sensation is all too familiar.

She groans silently to herself as the coffeemaker finishes pumping water through pulverized tea leaves, dripping sweet, sweet caffeine into the Azura mug sitting proudly underneath it. Luz takes the mug and stirs some store-brand honey into it, silently cursing herself out for forgetting lemon juice at the store a few nights ago when she looks for some in the fridge.

She hears a small stir from Amity’s bed, but a moment later, the snoring resumes. Seems like the coffeemaker is just quiet enough not to wake her roommate up, good to know.

With that, Luz takes her warm caffeine prescription over to her desk and logs into her computer. As soon as she’s in, her mouse hovers over the Wizcord icon on the taskbar, a small red dot indicating she has messages to read. Considering she has all but two servers muted, it doesn’t take long to deduce what’s waiting for her.

Hesitantly, for some reason, she clicks on the icon, maximizing the window and showing her the few messages sitting in the server she shares with Willow and Gus.

 

gustopher (02:23): GUYS im coming back to Hexside tomorrow afternoon, wanna hit the lounge afterwards n play some pool? its sunday so there prolly wont be many people there so we wont have to wait!!! we can get dinner afterwards too!!!

hello_willow (02:24): Gus, it’s after 2am, why are you still awake?

gustopher (02:24): i could ask you the same thing willow :thonk:

 

Luz cocks an eyebrow. Willow’s tone is unusually short, not to mention how badly her sleep schedule must be screwed up by being awake so late. Willow was always the responsible one of the three, never breaking from her sleep schedule no matter what. She can only hope this isn’t the result of… whatever happened last night.

She needs to let Willow know nothing between them has changed. The easiest way to do that, then, is to accept Gus’ offer and just hang out as friends, chill and casual. Then again…

… what if she invites Amity?

That crazy idea sets Luz’ gears in motion again. She’s been essentially focusing on two separate relationships for the past two months, and they’d only intertwined when Boscha’s stupid face got involved for a short bit. Now Amity’s on her own again, and Luz did promise to introduce her to Willow and Gus… maybe she can kill three birds with one stone.

More stirring emanates from her roommate’s bed, startling Luz and breaking her out of her thoughts. Guess the coffeemaker was too loud, after all.

Amity mutters something that Luz can’t hear, so she gets up and walks over to the side of her roommate’s bed.

“Morning, Blight.” she mumbles. It comes out a bit colder than she expected.

Amity rolls onto her back to face Luz, groaning audibly.

“Wuh… what time is it?” she mutters.

“Almost 11am. Lucky for you, it’s Sunday.”

Amity coughs. “Good, I can go back to…“ she pauses for a yawn, “… to sleep.”

“Actually, uh… I had a question for you.” Luz says quietly, almost whispering.”

“Huh?”

Amity looks up again. Luz motions towards the bed, and Amity nods. Luz sits down next to her, being careful not to sit on her legs.

Luz clears her throat. “Remember how I said I’d introduce you to Willow and Gus?”

Amity nods again, cocking a brow as well.

“Well,” Luz continues, “how would you feel about… coming to the lounge with me today?”

Amity says nothing, expression unchanging. Luz pulls at her shirt collar, feeling warm again.

“I-I know last time you were there, i-it wasn’t a very… pleasant experience, but… now that They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named isn’t hovering over us, I figured… it’d be a good time?” Luz over-explains.

Amity looks away for a second, then runs a hand across the bottom half of her face, grimacing the entire time.

“I should shave before we go.” is all she replies with. Luz pauses for a moment, but eventually manages a nod. Amity nudges her with her leg, and Luz takes the hint, almost shooting off the bed in record time.

She misses the tiny smile on Amity’s face as she returns to her desk without looking back.

~~~~

A few hours later, Luz and Amity stand in the noticeably-empty lounge. There’s a few other students at the computer charging table, and a few more sitting on the couch in front of the large TV, but it’s a far cry from the usual occupancy it sees on a weekday.

“Looks like Gus was right, won’t have to worry about waiting our turn at the table.” Luz says.

Amity looks around the room, almost like she’s scanning it for unknown lifeforms.

“Why don’t we, uh… set up the table?” Luz asks, a bit quieter than a moment ago.

“Oh, uh… right. Let’s.” Amity responds. Her tone is unreadable.

Luz starts reconsidering her plan. The air between her and her friend are… strained, or at least that’s what Luz gathers from Amity’s overall state of being. Regardless, they’re both here, and Gus is definitely on his way to meet up with Willow by now, so backing out now isn’t really an option.

Just like that, a small wave of dread washes over Luz. If she and Amity are this awkward on their own, titan only knows how Willow is going to feel…

“Is there a triangle somewhere around here?” Amity says from around the corner.

Luz turns on her heel and finds Amity already pulling billiard balls from the collection compartment underneath.

“Have you played before?” Luz asks.

“Find the triangle and I’ll tell you.” Amity replies with a small chuckle.

Luz blinks, the casual demeanor suddenly adorning Amity’s face throwing her for a bit of a loop. Nevertheless, it’s a solid start. “Maybe this’ll work out after all.” she thinks.

She finds the triangle on the couch near the door leading outside. Upon returning it to its rightful position on the table, Amity nods approvingly.

“So, we playing eight-ball, nine-ball, ten-ball, fourteen-point-one continuous-“

“Damn, Blight, you didn’t tell me you were a shark.” Luz interrupts. Amity laughs.

“My father and I used to play on the rare occasion he wasn’t working in the shop.” Amity explains.

“Ah.” Luz responds blankly before quickly switching gears away from that topic for Amity’s sake. “Eight-ball. You rack, I’ll break.”

“With those arms? Really, Noceda?” Amity jokes.

Luz pouts. “Every second you’re not racking, I’m getting closer to shooting this cue ball at you.” she says as she grabs a cue from the collection next to the table, a 19oz one.

“Whatever you say, nerd.” Amity says as she finishes racking the billiard balls.

Luz moves the cue ball slightly off-center and lines up her break shot. As Amity grabs her own cue and tops it off with chalk, Luz wastes no time sending the cue ball flying into the colorful collection at the other end.

The balls disperse in every direction possible; nothing goes in the pockets, but at least there’s no balls clustered in the middle. Amity looks unimpressed.

“Not bad…”

“Glad to see your arrogance hasn’t faded over time.” Luz observes with a small laugh.

“I know what I’m good at.” is all Amity says as she lines up her first shot. Green-striped 14-ball, corner pocket; Amity sinks it without a second thought, the cue ball ending up just a few inches from the pocket itself. Luz tilts her head momentarily.

“You’re solids.” Amity says.

“Clearly.” Luz answers. “Esta encendido.”

*Begin Track 18: Rocks Like This (set to loop)*

Amity nods and observes the table for a moment. She seems to finds her next shot: 12-ball, opposite corner all the way down the table, an angle shot. Luz watches as her friend takes ten seconds or so to line up the shot in her head, only shooting after the appropriate angle has been calculated. Amity pulls back, launches the cue ball forward, and smacks the 12-ball into the opposite corner pocket. A perfect long-shot.

Luz is taken aback somewhat. “Wow, Ams. You weren’t kidding.”

“Of course I wasn’t. I’m an engineering student.”

“Yeah, I like triangles too-“ Luz replies, completely missing the fact that Amity has sunk the 9-ball into one of the center pockets while she was talking.

Amity looks up at Luz and flashes her a cocky smile.

“… you better not run the table, or I swear to titan…”

“Don’t worry.” Amity responds. “I hate bank shots.”

Sure enough, Amity’s eyeing the 10-ball sitting close to the wall. The cue ball has ended up pretty close to it, but the path to the corner pocket is blocked be one of Luz’ solids. Amity’s only option is to bank the 10-ball against the wall and into the other corner pocket.

Amity lines up the shot as best she can, and fumbles. The 10-ball ends up right next to Luz’ 3-ball squishing it into the wall. The cue ball come to a stop against the wall behind the original break. A bunch of Luz’ solids are splayed out in front of it, but very few of them have clean shots ahead of them.

“I never claimed to be an expert.” Amity remarks.

Luz laughs. “Wow, it’s finally my turn. And lo and behold, I have… nothing.”

Amity giggles, clearly enjoying one-upping Luz at pool.

Luz rolls her eyes in lighthearted annoyance and looks for literally any open shot that doesn’t involve some complicated trick. Her only option is a long-shot of her own, sending the 1-ball all the way to the other end of the table.

She takes almost as long as Amity to set up her shot, attempting to work out the angle in her head with what little actual knowledge of geometry she has. She knows the direction she wants the ball to go, and where the cue ball has to hit it to make it go that way, but performing this in practice is much different that just thinking about it.

Eventually, she settles on an attack. She winds up, sends the cue ball into the 1-ball, and watches as it slowly glides towards the appropriate pocket.

To her dismay, the 1-ball ends up a few inches short of the pocket, and the cue stops shortly after contact. Neither ball has touched a wall either. Luz exhales loudly.

“That’s a scratch, take it.” she mutters. To her surprise, Amity waves her off.

“Eh, I never cared for that rule. I’ll play it where it is.”

Luz cocks a brow. “Are you taking it easy on me, Blight?”

“N-No.” Amity stutters, looking away from Luz. “I just… think it’s a stupid rule.”

“Uh-huh. We’ll go with that.” Luz says sarcastically.

Amity shoots her a scowl, and silently picks up the cue ball. She ends up walking over to Luz, bumping her in the shoulder gently but firmly as she places the cue ball near her 11- and 15-balls.  

“Well aren’t you touchy-feely today?” Luz mumbles with a smirk.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Amity returns.

She lines up her next shot, sinking the 13-ball in the corner and immediately turning around to sink the 15-ball in the opposite one. Just like that, she’s only got the 10- and 13-balls left.

On her next shot, she tries to go for the 10-ball again, only to misjudge the angle and knock the cue ball against the 2-ball. Luz giggles as Amity sighs in frustration, the 10-ball having eluded a pocket once again and the cue ball having successfully been scratched.

“Quite the stubborn one, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

Luz laughs and grabs the cue ball as she scans the table for her next move. She ends up potting the 4-ball and 7-ball in quick succession, earning an approving glance from Amity. She’s still behind by three, having five balls left to sink, but with some careful planning, she can easily sink two of them back-to-back again.

She goes for the 1-ball again as revenge for its shenanigans a few minutes ago. This time, she hits it hard enough that it hits the wall of the pocket and unceremoniously bounces out.

“God damnit.” Luz groans. “That’s what I get I suppose.”

Amity offers a nonchalant shrug in response before going for the 10-ball again. When she attempts to shoot it into one of the center pockets, it ends up hitting the corner and bounds into the 8-ball. Luckily for her, it doesn’t go very far.

“Playing with fire there, Blight. Careful you don’t get burned.” Luz says, attempting to sound cool.

“Were you always this cheesy or did you watch a ton of bad action movies this last summer?” Amity replies. Luz rolls her eyes while Amity motions for her to take her turn.

Finally, Luz starts to get somewhere. She thankfully pots the 1-ball now that it’s done having an episode, then somehow banks the lonely 5-ball into one of the center pockets. Next up is the 2-ball, which, thanks to Amity’s 10-ball, is comfortably shot into the corner pocket. She’s not out of the woods just yet though: the path to the 6-ball is blocked by Amity’s 13-ball, and her 3-ball is still cramped between the wall and the 10-ball.

Luz weighs her options. Realistically, she can only touch the 3-ball, but even if she can’t reliably pocket it, she can make life hell for Amity. After she shoots Amity a quick grin, she lightly taps the cue ball into the 3-ball, leaving all three sitting there in a truly awful formation.

“Really?” Amity asks with a sigh.

“Should’ve hit that 10 when you had the chance.” Luz replies.

Amity’s only choice now is to try and hit the cue ball away from the wall and pocket the 13-ball. Problem is, the cue ball is right against the wall, making it almost inevitable that she’ll end up putting topspin on the ball. That would be fine, but just as Luz (probably) predicted, the 13-ball is a straight shot into the center pocket. Amity can hit it, but if she doesn’t put an angle on it, the cue will follow the 13-ball right into the pocket.

“Maybe I am pretty good at this!” Luz wonders to herself.

Unfortunately, Amity’s smart enough to know when Luz is up to something; she doesn’t hide it very well. So, in a baffling move, Amity begins to aim for the opposite wall, not the 13-ball.

“Uh, Ams? What’cha doing?”

“Playing pool, why do you ask?” she replies without looking up.

Before Luz can answer, Amity sends the cue ball into the wall, watching as it bounces back and hits the rear of the 13-ball, easily sending it onto the corner pocket closest to them instead of the farther one.

Luz scoffs. “I thought you said you weren’t good at bank shots!”

“I’m not. Seemed like a good time to learn, though, so thank you for that.” Amity replies with a condescending smile. Luz sticks her tongue out and makes a weird noise in response, forcing Amity to laugh out-loud.

“Don’t worry Noceda, I won’t drag this out longer than it needs to be.”

“By all means, finish ‘em off.”

Amity looks over at the 10-ball. Fortunately for her, there’s just barely enough room to hit it without hitting Luz’ 3-ball, and that means hitting it into the corner pocket should be a breeze.

So, Luz watches in awe as Amity flawlessly pockets the 3-ball and immediately turns to line up her shot on the 8-ball. It’s sitting silently in front of the opposite corner pocket, giving Amity a nice, easy shot... which she misses.

“Oh come on!” she grumbles loudly. Luz can’t help but smile.

“Y’know, you really like giving me more chances than you should.” Luz says, thinking nothing of it until Amity simply blinks. Luz’ eyes shoot open before Amity manages to respond.

“I, uh…” Amity stutters, “… take your shot.”

Luz shuffles around to the where the cue ball is sitting, silently shoving that interaction out of her short-term memory as she looks over the table. Her 6-ball has a straight shot to the corner pocket, so she goes for that first and makes it. Now, her only problem is dealing with the 3-ball still stuck to the wall.

Wall shots are one of Luz’ weaknesses, considering you need to hit the ball at the perfect angle to send it along the wall while not letting it bounce off the wall. To her surprise, she succeeds and manages to pot the 3-ball pretty easily, leaving the 8-ball alone close to the middle of the table.

Luz takes a moment to think before calling one of the center pockets. It’ll be a tight fit, but it’s better than making another long-shot. She looks over at Amity before she goes to take a shot: she’s sitting at the high table in the corner, a thousand-yard stare on her face.

Luz sighs to herself and mumbles “Middle pocket.” before taking her shot. The 8-ball goes in.

Amity wakes up and looks down at the empty table. Luz shoots her a small smile.

“Wanna take another crack at it?” Luz says, attempting to lighten the mood. When Amity’s face lights up a little as she hops off the stool, Luz knows it worked.

“Of course I do.” Amity replies, picking up her cue. Luz takes note of the weight: 21oz.

They play another two games after that; Amity wins the second after Luz pots the 8-ball before she finishes the stripes, but the third lasts a bit longer. Both of them dance around each other, sometimes more focused on giving the other a harder shot than potting their own balls. Up to the very end, Amity is just barely in the lead.

Luz pockets the last of her stripes and lines herself up to knock out the 8-ball. Right before she goes to shoot, however, the door leading outside shoots open. In walks Gus, with Willow trailing not far behind.

“Aw, don’t tell me you started without us Luz? Or were you just practicing in the vain hope that you could beat me?” Gus says with a cat-like grin and an L-shaped hand gesture under his chin.

Luz smiles and walks over to him, giving him a big hug. Looking over his shoulder, she sees Willow, who looks pretty calm all things considered.

“Please, I could beat ya with my eyes closed and a broken cue.” Luz jokes to Gus, who replies with a laugh. After she lets him go, she walks back over to Amity, who’s standing perfectly straight with her arms clasped behind her back.

“Actually, I was here with another friend.” Luz states, before leaning to the side and forming a sideways V to gesture to the girl next to her. “May I present to you both, the one and only… Amity Blight!”

Amity waves meekly as Luz smiles.

“Amity, this is Willow and Gus, my ‘other’ friends, for lack of a better term.” she continues, patting herself on the back for giving her friends proper introductions this time.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Amity says quietly.

“Always nice to meet another friend of Luz’s, especially one she talks about constantly.” Gus says playfully as Luz jabs him in the side with her elbow. He laughs it off, naturally.

Willow walks up to the group of three and silently extends a handshake to Amity. She takes it, and Willow offers a tiny smile in return.

“Any friend of Luz is a friend of mine.” she says quietly. Amity nods.

Luz watches the exchange. In all honesty she wasn’t sure that introducing Amity to the friend group would turn out well, but things are going fine so far, as far as she can tell.

“So,” Amity says once the introductions are over, “do you want to play a few games with your friends now, Luz?”

“Hey, you’re my friend too. However, considering we just played three in a row, it’s only fair I give Gus and Willow the table for a bit.” Luz answers. Then, she looks over at Willow, who politely shakes her head.

“No, you and Gus go ahead. I have to text my dads real quick anyway.” she says.

Luz nods, unsure if Willow is actually going to play at all. She isn’t one for pool anyway, but it’d be nice if she joined in.

“Why don’t you and Gus play first?” Amity suggests as Willow sits on the couch near the door. Luz raises her brows and tilts her head briefly.

“Sure, so long as it’s okay with you. Write your name on the board, though. Whichever one of us loses, que será Gus, obviamente, will relinquish partial control of the table to you.” Luz says with an exaggerated bow. Amity rolls her eyes and chuckles before returning to her previous stool in the corner.

Gus racks the balls for his game with Luz, who watches Willow intently as she stares at her phone. It’s not like Willow to be this reserved, but then again-

“Ready to Luz, Luz?” Gus says with a smirk, freeing Luz from her thoughts momentarily.

“Oh, yeah- I-I mean of course not! You’re goin’ down, witch!” she replies, grabbing her cue and heading to the other end of the table to break.

As Luz and Gus get their game going, she occasionally sneaks glances at Amity and Willow. Amity looks at her phone for the most part, occasionally cheering Luz on or berating her when she misses, but Luz knows it’s all in good fun. Willow, though…

… Willow looks fine? She watches Luz and Gus play, smiling softly whenever Luz looks her way. Once, though, Luz could swear she’s looking at Amity, and that time, she isn’t smiling; rather, her face is blank, unreadable.

Luz attempts to concentrate on her game with Gus but finds her thoughts running off the rails again, and not in the awkwardly-pleasant way they were earlier with Amity.

Maybe she should’ve talked to Willow before this, made sure she was alright? Not that she’d not be alright, because they’re friends and whatever happened last night doesn’t change their friendship in any way, at least not that Luz is aware of. Though, Willow’s always talking about communication, and she kept telling her to talk to Amity, and the time she didn’t talk to Amity before doing something off-the-cuff like this, it ended with Amity crying, and-

“Yo, Noceda, it’s your turn dude.” Gus says from the other end of the table. Luz looks up at him and nods awkwardly, looking across the table for any sort of shot to make. She meets Gus at the other end of the table and takes a shot at her 10-ball, only for it to completely miss the middle pocket she was aiming for. Gus raises an eyebrow, but moves to take his next shot anyway.

Then, Luz notices something: Amity’s moved to the couch to sit next to Willow.

“Looks like they’re… talking?” Luz wonders. It’s super quiet, so it’s impossible to tell what they’re saying to each other, but Willow looks a tiny bit uncomfortable. Not to mention, so does Amity.

“Ah well, guess I’ll just keep takin’ shots until Luz wakes up.” Gus half-jokes, snapping Luz back to reality once again. She rolls her eyes at him, but make sure to give him a smile as well. He’s clearly having fun, at least; no need to ruin it for him.

Luz takes another shot at her 10-ball, sinking it easily. She makes an active effort for a few minute not to look at the girls on the couch, instead turning all her available focus to giving Gus what for this time. She quickly pots the 13- and 14-balls, which elicits a whistle of approval from her competitive friend.

After she misses the 11-ball and almost scratches the 8-ball, Gus steps up to bat once more. Luz takes the opportunity to break concentration and check in on her two friends behind her.

To her surprise, Willow is smiling again, and so is Amity. Luz thinks she hears Amity mention something about “Luz’ crazy idea” and almost goes to interrupt them, but decides to let them have their fun for now. Whatever Amity’s doing, it’s cheering Willow up, and that’s a good thing. Besides, Luz will put them both in place once she finishes wrecking Gus.

She returns to the game, taking a little more time to plan her shots than she was before. Her head being a little clearer definitely helps with that, but her break gave her a lot of simple shots that she can string together into chains. She even ends up potting both the 11- and 15- balls at once, leaving just the 9-ball, the 8-ball, and three of Gus’ solids.

Gus looks worried now. Luz takes advantage of the situation and continues her relentless attack, banking the 9-ball just to spite her friend. Luckily for her, she makes it.

“Getting scared, Gustopher?” she asks playfully.

“Not now, not ever.” he replies with a confident smile. “There’s no way you can make a shot that long.”

Luz looks down at the table. The cue ball is on almost against the wall closes to her, while the 8-ball sits just past the center. She’ll have to make a long-shot to win.

She hears Willow let out a laugh behind her, Amity following suit just a moment later. As soon as Luz hears them, she smiles, winds up to take her shot, and… makes it.

Gus’ face flushes. “Well shit. Good game, Noceda. I gotta step mine up, I guess!”

“’Course you do, Porter. The witch is back in town.” Luz replies with a smirk. Gus retaliates by giving her a hug, followed with a friendly noogie.

Gus throws his name up on the board, and Amity returns to the table to face Luz once more. The four spend the rest of the afternoon trading jokes and jabs at each other’s expense, but they know it’s all in good fun. Even Willow joins in, her first game being against Amity after Luz tries and fails to win two games in a row for the first time today.

Luz beams as she watches her friends play each other. For the first time in a few weeks, she can pretty confidently say that everything is fine.

Notes:

huh? gustholomule and lumity valentines fics? i-i never said anything about those-

welcome back to affection! i hope this chap wasn’t too annoying to read or anything, ive been playing pool with my friends every other week or so and i played it all the time in college so hopefully this is better written than the dance scene in ch8 lmao

this is basically what you can expect from this arc though: the hexolios (now plus amity) having some tiny slice-of-life adventures together, mostly bc I want to focus a bit more on them as friends that hang out bc its chill and fun. dw though, the usual mackenzie relationship angst is still present and accounted for :)

hope to see you next weekend for ch14!

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 14: stellar lights

Summary:

The gang reluctantly goes to one of Hexside's rugby games, at the request of Boscha.

Notes:

“what if i made this shit even MORE complicated” i cackle as i write more petty drama between teens who don’t know how to express their feelings

Track 19: Stellar Lights by Funk Fiction

*No track playing*

“Where’s that double-shot espresso, Luz?”

“I’m working on it, the machine is giving me a hard time!”

“I’ll handle it. Hunter, take over the register for a sec.”

“A-Alright, I’m on my way…”

Angry customers stand unabashedly shouting things about being late to work and school in the middle of Golden Bell Roast, its four employees scrambling to keep up with a sudden and unexpected late-afternoon rush.

“Who the hell wants coffee at 5pm anyway, it’s almost your bedtime!” Luz grumbles, just loud enough for Jerbo to overhear as he attempts to fix the espresso machine.

“Haven’t had a crowd this upset since Darius forgot to order caramel sauce that one time.” Jerbo mentions, sticking a screwdriver into some random part of the machine. After a moment, the thing sputters back to life, and he motions for Luz to continue.

“Thanks, dude. You should prolly go relieve Hunter, he looks like he’s about to pass out.”

“Noted.”

Luz finishes up the first of three espresso orders as Viney tends to the tiny bakery counter. Hunter lets out an audible groan when Jerbo returns to the counter, muttering something about the store room and a raise.

As Luz polishes off a few more drinks, the crowd slowly but surely starts to die down. Now that everything is back up and running, the line is moving again.

Finally, the last customer of the group stalks up to the counter. Their face is mangled in an angry frown, staring at something on their phone.

Luz looks over her shoulder and scowls before traipsing over to the register.

“What’ll it be this time?” she mutters, denying eye contact. “Another sugary bom-“

“Caramel latte. Three creams, no sugar.” Boscha grumbles.

Luz cocks a brow and looks up at them. She goes to say something, but stops herself and settles for a small nod. In less than a minute’s time, Boscha’s simplistic order is sitting in front of them, ready to be “enjoyed”.

“Here.” Luz says, as politely as she can muster.

“Thanks.” Boscha says apathetically. They reach into their rugby jacket’s pockets and pull out four small slips of thick paper. Luz looks confused.

“Doesn’t look like money to me.”

“It’s not.” Boscha says, their voice free of its characteristically-snide ego. “It’s tickets to the next Hexside rugby game. There’s four here, enough for you and your… friends.”

Luz cocks a brow again. “What’s their endgame now? I thought we were finished.”

“Nice try, but we don’t accept bribes here. Cough it up, van Aken.”

Boscha scowls and pulls out a five. “Here. Keep the tickets. Consider it a peace offering.”

Luz’ eyes narrow. There’s no way this is legitimate.

“I don’t care if you come or not, but maybe Amity would.” Boscha continues.

Luz remembers what Amity said at the roller rink, the last time she saw her with Boscha.

“You were making me choose them over you, you’re just as bad as them!”

The words echo in her mind, bouncing back and forth against the walls of her head. She can’t stand Boscha, their constant rudeness and ego always making their encounters hell on earth. Amity, though, always saw something in them, something Luz couldn’t see. She can’t deny that Amity considered Boscha a friend, at least for a while; the only reason they stopped being friends was Luz’ meddling.

This, though, would give her a chance to rectify that mistake, and give Amity the choice to be friends with Boscha again. Even if she knows Boscha’s a bad person, Amity deserves to make that determination herself. Then again, she silently hopes Amity will just brush it off and not give Boscha the chance to ruin their friendship again.

As Boscha walks away silently, Luz realizes she didn’t even give them any change and growls.

~~~~

*Begin Track 19: Stellar Lights (set to loop)*

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Ams?”

“I don’t know. It couldn’t hurt to go, right? It’s just a rugby game.”

Early the next afternoon, Luz stands next to her roommate, her concentration centered on not shaking Amity by the shoulders. Turns out, Amity actually wanting to go is a much harder pill to swallow than Luz expected it to be. Maybe she didn’t expect Amity to say yes, or maybe the prospect of Amity actually reconnecting with her rival is leaving a bad taste in her mouth.

“Something about this smells funny. I don’t trust them.” Luz grumbles. Amity rolls her eyes.

“It’s probably not that simple, Luz-“

“Do you still want to be friends with them? After they dragged you around for weeks and made you miserable?” Luz spits out, a tinge of anger uncontrollably rising to the surface.

“I’m still friends with you, aren’t I?” Amity mutters back. Luz eyes shoot open.

“Amity, I-“

“Luz.” Amity interrupts, looking Luz directly in the eyes. Her tone falters a slight bit, but she continues regardless. “I gave you multiple chances. I think they deserve the same opportunity.”

Luz looks away. Amity’s right, probably. She gave Luz more chances than she probably should’ve, and even if it took a while, they’re friends again. She trusts Amity’s judgement, even if she doesn’t trust them.

“It’s just…”

“… I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Luz mumbles.

Amity steps closer to Luz and cups her cheek. Luz’s eyes drift back to her friend, a small smile visible under her tiny nose.

“It’ll be okay, Luz. Besides, I won’t be there alone… Boscha gave you four tickets.”

Luz looks over at the small slips resting on her desk. Wizcord is open on one of her monitors, her server with Willow and Gus sitting untouched since morning.

“How about we all go?” Amity asks politely.

Luz hesitates at first. Willow and Gus were somehow more wary of Boscha than she was. Bringing them would guarantee extra protection from anything Boscha might be planning, but there’s definitely something between Willow and Boscha that she isn’t sure she wants to deal with on top of her own complicated feelings.

Amity waits patiently; it takes Luz a minute to reply.

“Alright.” Luz concedes. “Alright. I’ll invite Willow and Gus. But if this goes south-“

“I’ll handle it, I promise.” Amity assures her. Luz nods quietly.

~~~~

After a light dinner, they meet Willow and Gus and walk down to the fields at the bottom of the hill. It’s late, almost 7pm, and the sun has been obscured by the horizon for hours now. The recent time change has thoroughly messed up all of their sleep schedules, so they agree to dip out before the game finishes if anyone starts to gets tired.

“I’ve never even seen a rugby game before, what’s it like?” Gus asks. Typically, his voice would be much more jovial, but Luz wonders if being invited to a rugby game spearheaded by Boscha of all people seems to have dampened his mood a little.

“It’s sort of like football.” Amity explains. “Two teams of fifteen players try to get an oblong ball to the opposing team’s goal area. There’s a lot more to it than that, and I mean a lot more, but it’d probably be easier to explain as we’re watching.”

Gus nods. Luz looks over at Amity as they walk.

“You used to play yourself, right Ams?”

“Oh, yeah… for a few years. My… mother was insistent that I play a sport. So naturally I picked the most violent one school offered to girls, and promptly got placed on the men’s team.” she says with a huff.

Luz’ expression drops a little. Every time Amity’s mother or how she was treated after she came out popped up in conversation, she couldn’t help but feel guilty for bringing it on.

Then she remembers something.

“Wait, Amity. I thought you were on the girl’s team.” she ponders out-loud, wondering if her memory is failing her.

“I was, after some… convincing. Actually, Boscha was the one who stood up to the school board and got them to put me on the girl’s team.” Amity responds. The faintest hint of a smile is situated on her lips.

Luz goes silent, losing herself in thought again. Of all the people to stand up for Amity, it almost makes sense for it to be the one constantly getting into fights in the hallways or starting drama in the bathroom. It’s disconcerting to know they were willing to go so far for Amity; she never realized Boscha might have the capacity to actually care about Amity.

There’s a lot she doesn’t know about Amity’s other high school friend, though. The more she thinks about it, the less she comes up with. Outside of them being a giant bully and actively antagonizing her on more than one occasion, they were never really anything more to Luz than that. Just someone to be avoided.

Then, there was Willow. Luz looks back to see her friend staring off into the distance as they walk, oblivious to whatever conversation might be going on without her. It’s no secret to Luz that there’s something between Willow and Boscha that the former is unwilling to elaborate on. The fact Willow even considered going along with this confuses Luz.

“Y’know, Luz used to play softball in high school.” Amity says to Gus.

“Wait, this Luz? Weak nerd arms Luz???” Gus asks incredulously. Luz laughs and ruffles his hair.

“Didn’t talk about it much, did I?” she says, remembering long nights spent under the floodlights of Gravesfield High’s moderately-sized baseball field. It was something she only took up after summer camp, as some sort of compromise with her mother after the summer camp incident. She sighs, half out of nostalgia and half out of sealed-up frustration.

“I was pretty damn good at it, somehow. Learned to pitch too, they used to call me ‘No-Hit Noceda’, though I never found out if that was because I was a pitcher or because I couldn’t hit the ball for squat.” Luz rambles with a chuckle.

“Shame we never got to see her play, huh Willow?” Gus says, nudging Willow in the shoulder and breaking the girl out of her stupor.

“O-Oh, of course!” she replies with a squeak. “I’m sure Luz was an excellent hitter.”

Luz lets out another small laugh before her smile fades again. She can’t really blame Willow for not listening, but… something is off. She’s sure of it. That feeling of comfort she felt just a few days ago has been superseded by a slightly-overwhelming fear of how badly things could go tonight.

Willow isn’t the easiest person to read a lot of the time. She’s been through a lot for someone so adamant on keeping up a pleasant exterior, and it’s only when the cracks in that façade start to show that Luz wonders how well she actually manages to play the long game.

Unfortunately, it’s too late to leave now. Besides, Boscha’s expecting them.

~~~~

The group of four climbs up a few rows of metal bleachers, taking a seat close to the middle of the field. The teams are both out already, both of them practicing some basic maneuvers and catches before the game. The temperature has dropped off significantly since this afternoon, though for whatever reason, Amity isn’t wearing a jacket.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” Luz asks softly.

“I’m fine. I like the cold.” Amity replies, voice steady.

Luz nods in defeat and continues watching the players practice.

Before long, she spots Boscha repeatedly shoving against their teammates. From the quick Doogle search she did before they all got here, she wonders if they’re the team’s hooker. It’d make sense, considering they’re so tall now.

Soon enough, the match begins. Her theory turns out to be true; when the first scrum occurs a few minutes in, Boscha takes the head and attempts to capture the ball for their team.

Following the game is a bit difficult for Luz, as she finds out. At some points it feels like everything is random: when the player with the ball gets tackled, they and the tackler lock shoulder and start doing what looks like wrestling. Sometimes, though, the ball escapes from between them and play continues, but other times a penalty gets called and one of the rearward players gets a penalty kick.

Calling it confusing is an understatement.

She sneaks a glance at her friends every now and again too. Gus and Willow are talking to each other, though their voices are too quiet for Luz to make anything out. Amity stares out towards the field, eyes darting left and right as she attempts to watch every player at once.

“Do you really understand all of this?” Luz shouts to Amity over the crowd around them.

“Sort of, it’s been a while but I still remember the basics.” Amity answers, eyes still on the game.

“I don’t know how you do it, there’s so much going on at once!”

“When you play, it comes naturally.”

Luz makes a small noise in agreement, too small to be heard by anyone. Softball is a much simpler sport at first glance, but then again, trying to explain something like American football to a non-fan is like trying to describe thermodynamics to a English major. That didn’t end up being a very fun afternoon for Luz.

Gus pipes up about twenty minutes into the first half, looking dumbfounded himself.

“I’m gonna head to the snack bar, y’all want anything?” he asks politely. The three others all nod, almost in unison.

“I’ll take a chocolate bar.” Luz replies.

“Hm… mozzarella sticks sound pretty good right now.” Amity responds.

“Fries with ketchup for me!” Willow answers.

“Geez guys, I only have two arms! How’m I supposed to carry all of that and my food too?” Gus shouts, only half-seriously.

“Well, unless you can magic yourself up some extra limbs, I guess I can go with ya!” Luz says as she stands up. She looks back down at Amity, who offers a nod of approval.

“Awesome, think you can handle the walk Noceda?”

“Why walk when you can run, Porter?”

With that, Luz and Gus race each other down the steps in search of snacks, Willow and Amity staying behind to keep the bench relatively warm.

~~~~

It takes the two some time to find the reserved snack stall, seeing as it’s tucked away in between the bathrooms under the bleachers.

“One has to wonder how clean their hands are in such close proximity to the bathrooms.” Gus states.

“Y’know, it’s always super weird when you suddenly sound smart for a second. It makes me think Willow is mind-controlling you.” Luz muses out-loud. Gus laughs.

“You should see Matty and I in creative writing, you wouldn’t believe the kind of things you’d hear us talk about during discussions.” he says. Luz can swear she sees the faintest bit of red on the tips of his ears, but it’s gone before she can tease him about it.

The two get in line for the snacks after a few moments. Thankfully there’s not too many people at the game, and thus, not many people at the snack bar.

Luz looks down at her very short friend. It’s not often they get to talk to each other one-on-one, much less so when he and Willow are living together. She wonders if maybe he knows what’s up with Willow tonight, but doesn’t know how to start that conversation.

“What would Gus do?” she thinks, before figuring out exactly what he would do: go for the jugular.

“Hey, has Willow seemed okay to you recently?” she blurts out. Gus looks surprised to hear a question like that from her, but his shocked expression is soon traded for a more downbeat one.

“She’s been… a little quiet, I suppose. You know how Willow is though, keeps to herself a lot of the time.” he replies after a moment.

“Yeah, but- well, I-I mean, I don’t want to pry. Willow’s our friend, but if she told you something private and not me, it’s none of my business.”

Gus sighs. If seeing him a little less jovial than usual is odd, then seeing him sigh is straight-up weird.

“Willow’s been goin’ through a lot. She doesn’t tell me everything, but from what I know, she has a lot on her plate at the moment.” he answers.

“It’s not family stuff, is it?”

“No, no, her dads are fine. Gilbert’s architecture business is getting off the ground and Harvey got a new job recently, he’s a-“

“Willow, Gus.” Luz cuts him off with a poke on the shoulder. Gus chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“Right, Willow.” he says quietly. “I don’t know, she’s been a little down recently. We talked a little bit about it, I think she mentioned her Algebra grade slipping a bit. Wish we were in the same class as her so we could help her out more.”

“That’d be nice. Just imagine, the three of us attempting to figure out how to factor polynomials in real time.” Luz jokes. Gus lets out a small laugh.

“Sounds like fun to me.”

Luz smiles at him. “Alright, Porter. If something big comes up though, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Absolutely Luz. You’ll be the first to know.” he replies, offering a kind smile in return. “I want her to open up to us, yeah, but I also know Willow needs time to herself as well. I’m sure Willow will talk to both of us when she’s ready.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Luz says, lightly socking him on the shoulder. “When did you get so smart, huh?”

“By hanging around smart people!” he says brightly. There’s that Gus Porter spark.

“Really? You should introduce us sometime.” Luz jokes as the line moves forward.

~~~~

Luz and Gus return with a bounty of snacks in-hand for the group, some water bottles barely hanging on to the interior of Luz’ jacket pockets. Not only is she nice and warm, but the extra utility the grey letterman has in spades came in handy.

Speaking of being nice and warm, Amity’s gloved hands are cold to the touch as Luz hands her a small paper tray of mozzarella sticks.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” Luz says, sitting down and taking a bite of her chocolate bar at the same time. Amity nods.

“Hey, I’m wearing gloves!” she replies with a half-smile. Luz recognizes that look: it’s the one Amity uses when she’s very clearly avoiding the question being asked.

Luz lets her top eyelids fall in half-serious annoyance, inadvertently making Amity sigh in defeat.

“You’re gonna put the jacket on me, aren’t you?” she mutters.

“And there’s nothing you can do to stop me, Blight.” Luz replies. She swiftly unzips her jacket and drapes it steadily over Amity’s broad shoulders, taking care not to disturb her pristinely-styled hair. A tiny chill runs down Luz’ spine, but she ignores it.

“Love having friends.” Amity grumbles jokingly, refraining from zipping it up in defiance. Despite this, Luz can tell she appreciates the gesture. So much for her own warmth, though.

“What are friends for if you can’t take stuff from ‘em?” she replies. Amity giggles.

“Right!” Gus exclaims as he breaks off and eats a piece of Luz’ chocolate bar. If not for this announcement, she probably wouldn’t have noticed him steal it. Luz pulls him into a noogie as punishment for his crimes.

In the middle of it, she shoots a look over at Willow, who’s staring at the scoreboard with a blank expression. There’s a minute or so left in the half; during the break in between halves, the players are required to rest for ten minutes.

Willow shifts her gaze to Luz, giving her a tiny smile as she lets go of Gus. Luz smiles back, a silent gesture that doesn’t say much. After a moment, she starts to speak up, but the moment she does, a loud whistle breaks her focus. The half is over.

Some of the people around them disembark from the bleachers, probably in search of the bathrooms or a drink. Luz and her friends remain seated, everyone waiting for someone else to speak up. Gus takes the bait.

“So, does anyone here actually know what’s going on, or am I just really bad at being an audience?” he half-jokes. The others laugh.

“Well, considering I only understand it because I’ve played it, I don’t blame any of you for being confused. It took me a good month just to learn the ba-“

Amity’s words are cut off by an imposing figure looming behind her. Luz can’t help but let out a reserved snarl.

“What’s up, Boscha?” she mutters. Boscha smirks.

“Just wanted to see if you’re all enjoying the show! Rugby’s a very fun game to play, but our job is to make it fun to watch too, y’know!” they say with a wink.

Luz cringes, but Amity plays it off and attempts to be polite.

“I think we’re all having a good time, yes.” she states. Her expression is blank.

“Good, good.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be winning, not putting on a play?” Luz grumbles.

“Take a look at the scoreboard and see for yourself, Noceda.” Boscha returns, eyebrow firmly raised as they continue. “Glad to see your attention span hasn’t improved much.”

Luz stands up at the insult. Boscha’s streak of going for personal attacks hasn’t improved much either. It’s been a good while since someone’s made their face look so punchable.

Amity looks up at her from the bleachers, a silent plea for Luz to back off. After a tense moment, she relents and drops her shoulders, retreating to her seat once again. Boscha grins.

“Anyway, I’m gonna talk to Amity for a minute, if you don’t mind. Seeing as this doesn’t concern you, I think we’ll head off for a sec-“ they say quickly, motioning for Amity to follow her. This time, Luz doesn’t back down.

“Anything you have to say to her, you can say to us too.” she growls. Then, she looks back, only to find Gus sitting behind her, expression faded. Willow is nowhere to be seen. She cocks an eyebrow in Gus’ direction, but he only shakes his head.

“Ugh, fine. You’re such a downer, Noceda.” Boscha grumbles, breaking Luz away from the other problem at hand. “Whatever. Anyway, Amity, I was wondering if you’d, uh, like to come with me to the mall next weekend. We have a bye week so I won’t be caught up with this stupid sports business.”

Their voice is quick, a little too quick to Luz’ ears. And as far as she knows, Boscha enjoys rugby.

“Oh, uh… I-I… will Skara be coming with us?” Amity asks through a stutter. She looks nervous.

“Nah, she’s off vising her father that weekend. I-It’d just be the two of us.” Boscha sputters, waving their hand as if they’re denying an unspoken allegation.

Luz’ expression twists to one of genuine disgust. “Are they… no, they wouldn’t.” she thinks.

“I-I… I mean, i-if you want to…“ Amity starts, adjusting Luz’ jacket to cover her shirt a bit more. Unfortunately, Boscha’s eyes shift downwards in response, and soon they’re staring at the big red E embroidered on the left side of the jacket.

Their eyes dart open. Luz flinches. Amity’s face flushes as she meets Boscha’s gaze again.

“Right. Of course. I should’ve figured out what was going on here.” Boscha mutters, their voice low and cold, their eyes fading towards the ground behind them.

“Wait, i-it’s nothing!” Amity stutters. “I mean, nothing’s going on, I-I was just cold, a-and-“

“Save it, Blight.” they spit out. “Spare me the embarrassment. Have fun with your… friend.”

Boscha turns to walk away, and Amity’s head drops. Something in Luz’ head tells her to clean up this mess, so before she convince herself to take the victory and run, she nearly shoots off the bleachers, stumbling over her friend to reach Boscha before they can scamper off.

“Listen, Boscha, I-“

“Shut up. Of all people, she had to choose you, huh? It should’ve been anyone else…” Boscha oozes. With the wooden stake successfully shoved into Luz’ chest, they turn on their heel and make for the field again. Luz could swear she sees the faintest hint of a tear under their right eye before she goes.

She shakes her head and looks down at Amity once again, ignoring her swarming thoughts.

“You alright?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah.” Amity mumbles. She doesn’t look up at Luz, her voice labored.

Luz wipes her face with her hand and groans audibly. Her thoughts turn to the empty space next to Gus, the silence surrounding them threatening to hang over them for the next few days unless someone breaks it.

“Come on, you guys.” Luz says, attempting to sound confident. “We should go find Willow.”

She extends a hand to Amity, who reluctantly takes it and stands up. Her face is blank. Gus follows suit and stands up with a stretch. Before any one of them can object, they walk down the steps and towards the exit.

~~~~

The three of them look around the concourse for Willow to no avail. None of Gus’ attempts to ask total strangers where she ran off give them much of a lead either.

“Maybe she went to the parking lot for a smoke?” he wonders. Luz and Amity both look alarmed.

“Since when did our friend become a drug addict???” Luz asks with an exasperated voice.

“She doesn’t. Maybe she started tonight? I don’t know, it’s the best I’ve got.” Gus clarified. Luz resists the urge to punch him for real this time, and sighs.

“Fine, let’s go look.”

The three shuffle out to the parking lot beside the stadium. It doesn’t take them much time to spot the white-and-blue pickup truck humming peacefully in the middle of the lane.

Willow rolls down the window and smiles.

“Figured you guys might not want to walk all the way up to the student lots. Besides, Gus and I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Hop in!” she chirps. The dissonance between this and her earlier demeanor is striking, but Luz elects not to question it and hops in the back with Amity. Gus takes shotgun, and Luz notices him snickering when they’re inside.

“Were you in on this whole ruse, Gustopher?” Luz asks, squeezing him lightly on the shoulder.

“Well, we were always gonna take y’all to dinner after the game. Just didn’t think it’d be this early.” he replies. Willow giggles.

“By all means, then, take us away driver!” Luz chimes. Willow nods and shifts the truck into gear.

As they travel along the road to the diner once again, Luz takes in the scenery both outside and inside the truck. Amity looks half-asleep, eyes repeatedly drifting between open and closed. It’s cute, admittedly, almost as much so as Willow and Gus bouncing and bobbing to the tunes coming from the radio.

A familiar feeling falls onto Luz, the same one she felt at the lounge a while ago, but this time it’s accompanied by a faint sense of unease. Willow’s performances are always stellar, even when things are at their worst, and she can’t help but be put off by her friend’s sudden uplift. They need to talk soon, Luz admits, but the prospect makes her tense up.

And Amity… she can’t imagine how Amity feels after her encounter with Boscha. Whatever that was, whatever they were trying to do, it makes Luz feel terrible for even entertaining the idea of going to that game. She couldn’t have known, but… at the very least, maybe it means Amity’s choice should be a lot easier. That sense of guilt lingers regardless.

For now, though, a quiet dinner with her friends is preferable to harping on that. She shoves her thoughts aside and returns to the rows of trees lining the hills next to the road.

Notes:

hi, local “ive never watched rugby before” creature here, I don’t really understand how it works so uhhh if I got something wrong, I blame my 3am Wikipedia browsing lmao

anyway DAMN a lot happened this week huh? this chap is a tiny bit more angsty than I expected it to be, but I think it turned out alright, especially the luz&gus and amity&boscha scenes, those were so fun to write.

i think it’s safe to say we’re building up to some kind of climax, but you’ll have to wait just a bit longer before we get there proper. see you next weekend for ch15!

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 15: freefall

Summary:

The Hexolios head out of town for some fun after a long week.

Notes:

i’m sorry the last chapter ended so abruptly, i hit my 5K word limit and couldn’t include luz and amity talking about the night’s events. they do that here so. yeah. and also one more chapter of fun hexolio shenanigans before things happen. ;)

Track 20: Freefall by Funk Fiction

*No track playing*

The Hexolios return to their dorms after dinner, all tuckered out from the evening’s festivities. Almost as soon as Luz opens the door, she collapses onto her bed and groans, pent-up frustration over the first half of the evening finally allowed to spill out.

She pushed it down for the sake of a quiet dinner, one she thankfully got. The four of them spent their hour or so talking and joking like always, no hints of anything below the surface peeking out.

Willow’s on her mind, though. She’s acting strange, switching between despondent and cheery at totally random intervals. Gus is probably right, though; she’s probably just caught up with schoolwork. Probably. Either way, when Willow wants to talk, she’ll talk.

“So, do you… want to talk about it?” the girl behind her asks.

Someone else, though, seems relatively more open to talking now, so Luz props herself up.

“I mean… i-if you want to.” she mumbles towards the wall.

Amity walks over and slowly sits down next to her.

“I’m sorry for… whatever happened at the game.” Luz mumbles, flipping herself over to face the ceiling as Amity stares into the distance.

“As I’ve gotten pretty good at reciting recently, you couldn’t have seen it coming.” Amity responds. Her blank tone sends Luz for a loop, begging another question.

“Would you have said yes?” Luz asks reluctantly, refusing eye contact with her friend.

“Probably.” Amity answers. Luz cocks a brow and looks over at her as she continues. “Maybe not because I’d have wanted to, but because one doesn’t say no to Boscha.”

Luz sighs. How many things did Amity go along with out of fear of upsetting them?

“Were they a good friend to you?” Luz asks quietly, eyes drifting off again. She’s not exactly sure where she’s going with this line of questioning. Amity takes a moment to think, silence weighing on Luz like an elephant on her lungs.

“They were.” Amity replies; as she goes on, her voice flattens out a bit. “They did a lot for me, even if I didn’t do a lot for them in return. Now, though… I don’t know what to think. I don’t know why they keep trying to drag me into things, drag me into their life and events.”

Every words out of her mouth brings Luz closer to realizing something sour.

“For a second there, I thought you were describing someone else.” she murmurs with a sad chuckle, words tumbling out before she can stop them. Amity looks down at her, expression melding between concern and anguish.

“You’re not like them, Luz. You are a good friend.” Amity finally answers. “Maybe Boscha was, at one point, but I can’t say the same for them anymore.”

“I’ve been dragging you around.” Luz rebukes, smile fading. “I’ve been pulling you into my life again, the same thing they did and is apparently still trying to d-“

“Luz.” Amity interrupts, another talent of her’s that’s only gotten better with time. “You always ask before you pull me into something. You let me choose to do things with you. Boscha used to, but you still do.”

“… are you doing them with me because you’re scared I’ll get mad if you don’t?” Luz questions. Amity sighs.

“Of course not. We’re friends, I want to do stuff with you. Heck, if it weren’t for you, I’d probably never leave this room.”

Luz sits up, not sure what to think anymore.

“The whole time we were apart, I missed doing stuff with you. Now, we have that opportunity again, and I don’t want to waste it. Please don’t feel like you’re dragging me around, because you’re not.” Amity says, offering Luz a smile.

Luz sniffles. It’s difficult sometimes to remind herself that Amity’s her friend again; it still feels too good to be true, even if she knows it is.

“Alright.” Luz replies after a moment. “But if you ever feel like I’m being too pushy…”

“I’ll let you know.” Amity says kindly. “I just hope our next week treats us better than Boscha did.”

“… let’s hope so.” Luz says with a quiet sigh.

~~~~

Begin Track 20: Freefall (set to loop)

The next week doesn’t treat any of the four well, as Luz finds out.

Willow’s algebra grade had dropped, as Gus had figured, though so did a few of her others. Willow was unfortunately used to dealing with low grades, but Luz and Gus had success helping her in the past. This time, though, everything seemed to pile up for all of them at once, and none of them had much time to dedicate to a group study session.

Gus himself barely had time to focus on anything besides all of his classes throwing tons of assignments at him last-minute. Much like herself, Luz knows Gus needs time to work on his own pursuits, and this week wasn’t giving him any leeway. She helped as much as she could, offering tips on how to speed up homework in both creative and possibly-not-totally-legal ways, some of which were more successful than others. Her tips on how to focus on one thing at a time were received the warmest.

Amity, the only one of the four not exclusively taking gen-eds, could only find solace in her music history course that was thankfully very easy-going. She’d usually tell Luz about what they learned that lesson, but with upcoming exams in all of her other courses, their time together was cut pretty short on the best of days.

Luz, of course, had her own problems. On top of trying to comfort all her friends, shifts at work were only more stressful with Jerbo out sick all week. As he's clearly the only one of her coworkers adept at fixing the aging machinery in the shop, every problem they encountered would result in a hastily-written message to Jerbo asking what the hell they were supposed to do when the espresso machine conked out or the settings on the store room’s thermometer decided to reset themselves somehow.

Needless to say, it had not been a very good week.

After work that Friday, Luz trundles back to her dorm. Amity’s asleep in her bed, so Luz tries her best to keep quiet. Her phone buzzes as she walks over to her desk for some late-night MewTube videos, instead steering her to check Wizcord (the only app she left notifications on for).

It turns out to be a DM from Willow. Luz freezes.

“Oh titan… I’m not ready for this…”  she thinks, anxiety levels quickly reaching critical as she stares at Willow’s profile icon. It could be any number of things, an infinite pool of possibilities rippling in Luz’ head as her entire body tenses up. There’s no reason it should be giving her anxiety this bad, but… it could be about anything.

“…it’s just a message. C’mon old girl, i-it’s just a message… we can do this.” she mumbles to herself, unintentionally rapping her hand on the desk. She steadies herself, takes a deep breath in, counting as she goes, and lets it out as slowly as she can. It doesn’t entirely work, as evidenced by her shaking hand as she reaches for her mouse, but it’ll have to do.

She hovers over Willow’s icon, slowly picking up her finger…

“Luz, are you alr-?” an apparently-awake Amity starts to ask from behind her.

Luz jumps, letting out a tiny “Ack!” and falling off her chair at the surprising sound of Amity’s voice. The latter jumps out of bed and joins Luz on the ground, looking regretful.

“I, uh… woke you up, I see.” Luz says quietly, clutching her chest.

“So did I. You looked… frozen.”

“Oh, that… happens sometimes.”

“Well… let me help you up.” Amity responds, standing up and offering Luz a hand. She takes it, and Amity pulls her back to reality.

“I’m… gonna go back to what I was doing. Thanks for the assistance.” Luz says kindly.

Amity giggles. “By all means, Noceda. Sorry for startling you.”

“Don’t sweat it. Might’ve been what I needed.” Luz says with a smile.

As Amity returns to her bed, Luz sits back down in her chair and takes a deep breath. Without thinking, she clicks on Willow’s icon. Their DMs appear on the screen. It’s still a bit of a struggle for Luz to look down at the bottom, but with all of her might, she drags her eyes to the latest messages.

 

hello_willow (21:18): Hey Luz! Here’s that list of movies I keep forgetting to send to you. Maybe the three of us could go see one of them tomorrow? If it’s not too short notice, I mean. I think it’d be nice after this week, though! Haha”

 

Below that is a link to a Doogle Docs document formatted in a style pretty similar to Luz’ own. However, that’s not the only thing: there’s another message she hasn’t read yet, sent a decent few minutes later.

 

hello_willow (21:26): Oh! You should invite Amity too, of course!

 

“Huh.”  Luz thinks, unintentionally tapping her fingers on her desk. “Did Willow forget about Amity at first..?“

Luz shakes her head. Willow’s not like that, it’s an honest mistake. Maybe it’s not even a mistake, maybe Willow got distracted or something. Either way, looks like it’s time to “drag” Amity into another fun night.

“You still awake back there, Blight?” Luz asks as she turns around to face Amity.

A tiny “Mhm.” rises up from beneath the covers. Luz giggles and walks over to Amity’s bed, motioning towards it. Amity nods, and Luz sits, making sure not to sit on Amity’s legs.

“Looks like you and I have plans tomorrow.” Luz states. Amity props herself up on her elbows and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, really now?”

“How does dinner and a movie with Willow and Gus sound?”

“Like what we need after this awful week.”

“Good, tomorrow evening it is, then!” Luz says cheerfully. Amity giggles.

“Tomorrow evening.”

~~~~

Sure enough, Luz and Amity meet Willow and Gus in the upper student lot just after 5pm. In return for Willow basically saving them from the rugby field last weekend, Luz offers to drive the four of them.

“Are you sure I can’t convince y’all to let me drive for once?” Gus whines.

“Gus, I don’t know how you manage to reach the pedals in the first place.” Luz jokes. Gus pouts and lightly socks Luz in the arm.

“I assure you I am a very competent driver, regardless of my height.” he responds.

“We should get going, you guys.” Willow says. “The movie’s starting just after eight, and if we want snacks we’ll have to make sure we’re there early.”

“Willow Park, always the responsible one.” Luz says playfully, Willow letting out a giggle in return.

“Where are we going for dinner? Tell me it’s not the diner again.” Amity pleads half-seriously.

“Not a fan, eh?” Gus remarks with a shrug. “Well, lucky for you, I get to pick this time, and I know the perfect spot!”

Luz, Willow, and Amity all exchange glances, as if to say “This could either perfect, or totally insane.”

“So… you gonna let us in on the joke?” Luz asks him. Gus shakes his head.

“Nope! I’ll give you the directions, but I want it to be a surprise!”

“Alright, Gustopher, you win. But if this is anything like the grilled cheese incident-“

“I-It’s not I promise!” he assures her, prompting Willow to giggle and Amity to poke Luz in the arm.

“The… grilled cheese incident?” she asks quietly.

“I’ll tell you about it on the way.” Luz resolves. “We should get going.”

And with that, the four of them pile into Luz’ car and set off, Gus sitting in shotgun specifically so he can direct her on where to go. Willow and Amity sit quietly in the backseat, listening to Gus lead Luz on a wild goose chase.

Eventually, he directs her onto the highway, giving Luz the chance to explain the famous grilled cheese incident to Amity.

“The first summer when the three of us met up after camp, Gus told us he was gonna take us to his favorite restaurant outside of Bonesborough. Unfortunately, he neglected to mention it was a restaurant well-known for their expansive list of grilled cheese sandwiches, and only grilled-cheese sandwiches.”

“You didn’t tell us you were lactose-intolerant!” Gus adds with a huff. “If I had known, I wouldn’t’ve taken you there!”

“It’s not my fault I forgot to tell you guys about such an important facet of my life!” Luz exclaims, voice on the verge of turning into a laugh.

“Wait, Luz, you’re lactose-intolerant?” Amity asks confusedly. Luz can’t help but burst out laughing at that.

“I swear I told you at some point! Why do you think I flip off the dairy section at the supermarket every time we restock our fridge?” she says through her laughs.

“I-I thought it was just… a-another weird thing you do!” Amity sputters. Willow and Gus double over in laughter.

“No, yeah, I just really hate cows!” Luz exclaims, trying her absolute hardest to keep the majority of her attention on the drivers around them and the road ahead.

“God damnit, Noceda.” Amity mutters, accepting her defeat and devolving into giggling herself as the other three attempt to rid the remaining laughter from their systems.

~~~~

They arrive at the fabled “Gus’ Restaurant Choice” ten minutes before 6pm.

“Good thing the theater isn’t too far from here, otherwise driving almost forty-five minutes to a restaurant would’ve been just a bit too insane for me.” Luz notes.

“Yeah, I’m good at planning like that.” Gus remarks, a cat-like grin on his face. Luz snorts and ruffles his hair as the four walk into the restaurant and take a seat.

“Wow, the menu here is gigantic!”  Amity exclaims, eyes wide in wonder as Luz watches her take in the fifty or so sandwiches lining the thick paper menu.

“Too bad we don’t have all day, Blight.” Luz mutters playfully, forcing Amity to hit her with the menu. Willow sticks her arm in front of Luz before she can retaliate as their server comes to take their orders.

Luz ends up ordering a catfish po’ boy with hot sauce and without tomatoes, not her usual pick but something just out-there enough to make it something she knows she’ll enjoy. Willow naturally orders a burger, prompting Luz and Gus to call her out for being predictable. Gus, meanwhile, springs for a fried chicken sandwich, which leads to Willow asking why he had them drive all the way up here for a “damn chicken sandwich”.

Amity, meanwhile, seems to be struggling. Luz gent places a hand on her shoulder and flashes both a kind smile and a finger gun in an attempt to calm her down, which succeeds. She looks back at the menu and chuckles before ordering.

“I’ll have the grilled cheese with bacon, well done.” she says politely. Luz mocks fainting, hand affixed to her forehead and the other to her chest.

“How dare you betray me like this, fair Amity!” she shouts as quietly as she can. The waiter laughs as they jot down Amity’s order, as does the rest of the table.

Some time later, the sandwiches arrive, and the gang wastes no time downing them. Gus’ idea turns out to be one of his better ones, everyone enjoying their meat-and-bread concoctions and trading small quips with one another the entire time.

~~~~

“Which theater are we going to?” Luz asks Willow as the four look down the two hallways behind the ticket desk, staffed by a single bored teen.

“The tickets say we’re in theater number… 2.” Willow answers. “Second-to-last down the left hallway.”

“We’re getting snacks first, right?” Gus pleads.

“We just ate dinner and you’re already hungry again?” Amity asks with a smile.

“Hey, watching a movie without snacks is not it!” Gus argues.

“We’re getting snacks, don’t you worry.” Willow reassures him. “There’s an open counter, let’s head up before someone else does.”

The four of then bound over to the counter and pick out some snacks and drinks. Willow and Gus both get candy and a soda, while Luz goes for popcorn and a cold iced tea. Amity looks around before seemingly deciding she’s not interested. Luz shoots her a look.

“Don’t tell me you’re not getting anything, Blight.” she says, half politely and half annoyedly.

“I-I’m not really hungry.” Amity waves her off. Luz’s expression drops.

“Fair enough.” she says with a shrug, before turning to the man behind the counter. “Make that popcorn a large, my good man!” she requests as the man is halfway through filling a medium. He groans, but Luz ignores him as she turns to Amity and smirks cheekily.

Amity rolls her eyes, but can’t help but giggle. Luz eventually coerces her into grabbing a bottled water that Luz then pays for just to spite her even more. It’s her turn to tell Amity to do something nice for herself.

With that, the four traipse over to the condiments and napkins area. Luz runs ahead with the bucket of popcorn and shoves it underneath one of the butter faucets that have since been relocated to a counter outside the workers' area so people have to do it themselves. This doesn’t faze her, though.

“My sister taught me this really neat trick with these things.” she explains as she grabs a straw. All three of her friends look at her with confused stares.

“Are you… gonna drink the butter directly?” Gus asks slowly.

“Not unless I want to absolutely murder my guts, even though I’m pretty sure this stuff is entirely chemicals and not real dairy.” Luz says. “No, I’m gonna use the straw to pump the butter into the bottom of the bucket, then slowly pull it out as I pump so the butter doesn’t just sit on top of all the popcorn!”

“Luz…” Willow starts as Luz is already halfway done with inserting the straw, “… isn’t the butter just going to pool in the mid-“

“Too late, already pumping it!” Luz shouts as she begins pressing the bright red button on top of the dispenser, sending room-temperature “butter” down into the bucket. As she goes, she slowly lifts the straw out of the bucket, theoretically settling the butter at various heights through it.

“You should move the straw around the bucket so it hits the entire batch.” Amity suggests. Luz stops, thinks for a second, and smirks again.

“How brilliant of you, Blight. Any kernels that fall to the floor are therefore your fault, and not mine!” she jokes as she does what Amity suggested. Sure enough, some of the popcorn falls lamely to the floor, but she does at least succeed at distributing the butter as… evenly as possible.

“Let’s go Hexolios!” Luz exclaims as she leads her puzzled pals to the theater.

~~~~

They take the seats in the dead middle of the row furthest back.

“This way we won’t have any silly kids kicking our seats!” Gus states excitedly.

“Yeah they’ll have to worry about this silly kid doing that to them!” Luz jokes as Gus pouts. Willow and Amity giggle.

After a bunch of annoying previews that extend their stay an extra half-hour (giving Gus ample time to down his candy), the movie begins. It starts off fine enough, a family moving into a new home outside of a big city, only for things to devolve as the first few scenes pass. Things slowly grow more eerie, the confusing editing and occasional loud sounds not helping matters. Luz, Willow, and Gus are all enjoying it, but Amity looks uneasy.

“Uh, Luz? What’s this movie called?” she asks quietly at one point.

“Hm, not sure. Willow?” Luz redirects to the girl on her left.

“Chainsaw Woman!” she says cheerfully. Amity winces, and Luz takes note.

“If it gets too much for you, we can leave, Ams.”

“No, I-I’m fine. Horror isn’t my thing, but… I’m open to it-“

“Just say the word, and we’re gone. Right, you guys?” Luz posits as she looks back to Willow and Gus. They both nod and offer a thumbs-up.

“… alright.” Amity relents.

It isn’t long before she’s back to looking away from the screen, clearly not having a good time. Luz watches her closely, torn between letting Amity have her way and saving her from what’s clearly a stressful situation.

One jumpscare later, and Luz taps Willow on the shoulder. She motions to Gus, and the three of them stand up with their snacks (or trash, in Gus’ case) in hand.

“C’mon, Blight. Let’s bounce.” she states in no uncertain terms. Amity sighs, looking glum, but Luz offers her a smile and a hand in spite of it. The four walk out of the theater and sit down on a bench just outside.

“What do we do now?” Gus asks. Neither Luz nor Amity answers, but eventually Willow pipes up.

“Well, we paid good money for those tickets. I say we make the most of them!”

Luz cocks a brow. “Are we about to break the rules again?” she asks innocently, a smile slowly adorning her face.

“Depends. We’re paying customers, after all, so we deserve our movie.” Willow states. “C’mon, let’s go you guys!”

Without any debate, the four begin looking at the other theaters to see if anything more appropriate is playing. Eventually, Luz points up at a neon sign reading The Mortifying Ideal of Being Known.

“That’s the one.” she says confidently, dropping some popcorn on the ground.

“Luz, that stupid romance movie got trashed on Spoiled Potatoes. Why bother?” Gus questions.

"Something tells me not many people have interest in it. I say we cut our losses and have some fun.” she reasons. Her friends look uncertain, but before they can argue, Luz is pushing open the doors to the theater. She sees Amity look around for any employees, but pulls her in by the sleeve just in case she ends up taking too long.

As they walk up the patterned carpet ramp to the seats, Luz takes a look around. The theater is empty.

“How’s that for ingenuity! Last one to the top forfeits their snack to me!” she exclaims as she races no one in particular up to the last row. The four of them reclaim their seats, having thankfully spent just long enough in the other movie to avoid the previews for this one.

Almost immediately, the four of them are riffing on how awful the movie is, from the terrible acting to the bland sets to the clearly-faked weather effects that and up looking more like someone repeatedly dumping a bucket of water onto the leads.

“How could you be in love with someone so insanely boring, dude?!” Luz shouts as the two leads dance together. All of them take turns giving their very detailed analysis of how much the movie sucks, so much so that they end up splayed out in their reclining chairs exhausted just an hour in.

“This is truly dreadful.” Amity states. Luz chuckles.

“I’m known for my excellent taste in movies.” she jokes. Amity lightly flicks her shoulder as she goes for a handful of popcorn. Luz smiles.

“You’re lucky I like hanging out with you.” Amity says. Luz plays it off, but slowly feels her ears begin to heat up in the relatively-chilly theater.

Willow and Gus continue to joke about the movie as Luz gives her throat a rest. It’s barely 10pm when she checks her phone next, but she feels a nap coming on. She yawns, and Amity replies with a yawn of her own.

“Getting tired, Ams?” Luz asks softly.

“A little. Hanging out with you always drains my batteries.” Amity replies, the slight smile on her face cluing Luz into the fact that she’s only being half-serious.

“Well, one of us has to be the energetic one.” Luz replies with a giggle.

Amity chuckles and visibly relaxes, letting out a content sigh as the movie continues in front of them. Luz looks over at her, white glow of the screen casting a faint outline around Amity’s nose and chin. Once again she finds herself lost in Amity’s features, her friend’s eyes glued to the screen as the cheesy romance story plays out.

“I’ve always found this romance stuff kinda weird.” Amity says at one point, breaking Luz out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” she asks curiously.

“I don’t know, in movies it always feels so… easy. Like, you knows it’s just actors reading lines, playing nice with one another.”

“That’s because it’s a movie, Ams.” Luz jokes.

“How observant of you.” Amity messes back. Then, Amity looks up at her, face smiling and dusted with the faintest bit of pink, though it’s probably just the screen sending its own colors back towards its viewers.

“I’m really glad we get to do this stuff again, Luz. I missed it so much.” she says sweetly. Luz’ ears feel warm again.

“I did too.” she replies, a smile slowly forming on her face. Amity lets out a sigh and turns back to the movie.

Luz tries to get back into it, but finds it difficult with Amity’s words sitting in her head. It still feels so little time has passed since they’re become friends again, even though she knows it’s been over a month.

But now she has Amity again, to hang out with and catch dinner and a movie with and be with… and Luz feels her face getting warm too.

As if on cue, the movie advances to a scene where the two leads are sitting at the one’s home, watching a movie on the couch. As it goes on, the two slowly get closer together, shuffling to be closer to one another though their concentration never appears to break from the movie.

Then, before she knows it, Amity’s head is resting on her shoulder.

She thinks back to how Amity must’ve felt when Luz fell asleep on her in the lounge. Seems like it’s her turn to be the pillow, but just the feeling itself is enough to send her into a mild panic.

Luz steadies her breathing, trying her best to keep calm as Amity snores softly. Looks like she was more tired than she was letting on, though now Luz is put in the awkward position of keeping her body as still as she can, as to not disturb her friend.

Amity hair brushes against the collar of her letterman jacket, just enough of it spilling over that Luz can feel it on her chin. She looks so comfortable, like she’s been waiting to do this for months and finally has the chance. Not to mention how soft her hair is, or how her small frame bobs up and down in rhythm with her gentle breathing.

She thinks back to the last few weeks. They’ve been hanging out more and more, Amity always accompanying her whenever she asks. They hang out like friends, banter and joke like friends, talk like friends… she spent so long waiting for this. And yet… she wants more.

She wants to be able to stroke Amity’s hair like they used to do in high school. She wants to be able to ask Amity to hug her without it being preceded by a teary downpour. She wants them to be more than friends, as unlikely as it seems. She sighs, knowing the risk it requires.

She’s falling, and there’s nothing below her to break that fall.

Notes:

me retconning gus’ height in this chap because i think it’s funnier to have him still be the shortest even when all of them are almost adults. its fine dw about it :)

this chapter was hard to write bc i was worried about hitting my word limit again so apologies if some bits are kinda glossed over, but i had to fit every scene in because Reasons. yes. i hope luz’ ending rambles made some sense too, i realized kind of suck at writing romance even though i really want to so yaknow, it’s messy and shit. yahoo!

anywho see you next week for the chapter ive been waiting to write since i started this!

(speaking of next week, i finally made a the full playlist for this fic that you can find here!! it features the song for ch16 as well as a bit of a preview... i hope you look forward to reading it next weekend!! <3)

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 16: affection

Summary:

Luz and Amity talk about Azura, go out for ice cream, and things... happen.

Notes:

here it is: the chapter that’s been living in the back of my mind since before i had a solid outline for this fic. i hope you enjoy.

cw// for a mild panic attack during a scene

Track 21: affection by BETWEEN FRIENDS

*No track playing*

As the calendars inch closer to the end of November, the air outside slowly grows more and more chill. The wind picks up, blowing leaves here and there and everywhere across campus.

Luz spends more and more time with her friends as the days go on. The four of them often go out to dinner, either at the café or the diner depending on what they feel like. Sometimes this is bookended with a trip to an arcade or a movie before returning to Hexside for the night. Other times, she and Amity will make a quick run to the supermarket for snacks.

Sometimes she finds herself thinking about how much closer she and Amity have gotten over the past few months. It’s an indescribable feeling, finally having her former best friend by her side once again. After all they’ve been through, going back and forth until finally reaching a middle ground, they’re friends again, and they can finally make up for all the time they lost.

Though, she does catch herself staring at Amity for a few seconds too long, or reaching out to stroke Amity’s hair when she thinks Amity’s not looking. Those flare-ups are quickly shoved aside the second she becomes aware of them, pushed into the corner of her brain where the other intrusive thoughts often end up.

Even if Amity feels the same way, or even half the same way, she’s not going to risk destroying their friendship like that. They’ll always be friends, and that’s alright with her.

~~~~

After her last class for the day, Luz walks back to her dorm to relax for a few hours. It’s barely 2pm, sun lazing around the courtyard whenever it decides to peek out from behind the clouds. The warm air that greets her when she enters the front of the commons is a welcome substitute for the frigid air outside.

She trundles up the stairs, forgoing the elevator as she tends to do. She’s grateful that Darius closed Golden Bell Roast while on vacation; considering how stressful everything has been recently, a week off of work is exactly what she needs too. Having afternoons to herself feels kind of weird though, even if it’s just for a week, like something’s missing.

She approaches the door and pulls out her key to unlock it, only to find it’s already open.

“That’s weird,” she thinks, “Amity’s usually in music history right now…”

She pushes open the heavy wooden door and finds her roommate sitting upright in her bed, head against the backboard. Her eyes are closed, and a notebook is sitting on her lap.

“Must’ve fallen asleep while doing homework.” Luz says quietly as she walks over to her desk. Her natural curiosity, however, soon takes over, beckoning Luz to go sneak a peek at whatever Amity is working on. Sure enough, within seconds she’s hovering over Amity, silently picking up the notebook as gently as possible and hoping Amity doesn’t wake up. As soon as she lays her eyes on it, she realizes it’s not exactly a notebook.

Small doodles are splayed out on the page, a collection of sketches and drawings and works-in-progress that already look much more advanced than any of Luz’ own drawings. There’s one of a weird creature with a furry body and an exposed skull sitting on a wooden staff, one of Amity holding said staff, and one of her casting what looks to be a spell that creates light. The biggest one, however, is of two characters very familiar to Luz: Azura and Hecate embracing with faint blush on their respective cheeks.

Luz stands there, staring at each doodle for as long as she can manage, taking it all in. She knew Amity always had a little bit of a drawing hobby, but it seems like it’s become more of a passion than a pastime. Compared to the things she saw Amity draw in high school, these are a far-cry from the simplistic line art that used to decorate her actual academic notebooks.

Then, she gets a novel idea. She flips to one of the blank pages and starts walking over to her desk, forgoing taking a seat. She pulls one of her pencils out of the cup near her computer and quickly sketches her own face, complete with a stuck-out tongue and thumbs-up. The words “Luz wuz here!” soon appear underneath, graffiti completed in record time.

She returns to Amity’s bedside and carefully rests the sketchbook back on Amity’s lap, turning it back to the page Amity was presumably decorating earlier. However, when she goes to stand upright again, she feels a sharp pain in her lower back.

“Ow! Ffff…” she seethes, completely forgetting about the girl sleeping just a foot away from her. Lo and behold, Amity springs back to life, jolting awake with a loud snort. Luz turns her head to meet her gaze, and the two find themselves at a loss for words for a good few moments.

“… hi.” Amity mumbles after a minute.

“Hi.” Luz responds, still unable to stand upright.

“Are you, uh… alright, Luz…?” Amity asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine… just can’t seem to-“ she pauses as she attempts to force her back to comply with her brain. It does, but in return, it sends another bolt of pain throughout her lower back, causing Luz to almost double over again. Amity straightens herself up and reaches a hand out to Luz, though it takes her a second to notice it.

“You should probably sit down, that looked painful.” Amity suggests politely, attempting to put on a smile. Luz doesn’t buy it, but offers a quick raise of her brows before slowly resting herself on Amity’s bed.

“Probably a consequence of spending so much time at my desk.” Luz says with a chuckle, a measure taken to lighten the mood despite the dull pain now resting at the bottom of her spine.

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that.” Amity responds bluntly.

Luz laughs. “When did you become a doctor?”

“When I watched my best friend struggle to keep herself straight.” Amity answers.

The words “best friend” float through Luz’ mind for a second before she responds.

“I’m fine, Amity. I’ll pop a tylenol or something later.” she settles for.

“You should take one now,” Amity argues, “I don’t want you struggling to get up from our table at dinner tonight.”

“Right, right. I wouldn’t want to ruin your night for you.” Luz jokes again with a smirk. Unfortunately, Amity doesn’t seem receptive to it this time.

“I’m being serious, Luz. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” she mutters.

Luz sighs. “I know, I know. If it makes you feel better, I’ll go grab something.”

“Make it quick.” Amity quips as a smile returns to her face. “I don’t want to miss you for too long.”

Luz stares back at her, silently lost in that moment as she feels her ears heat up. She doesn’t respond, instead simply nodding, standing up, and stumbling over to her dresser. As she twists open the pill bottle she grabs, she hears Amity mumble something behind her, but can’t tell what it is. When she pops a couple of pills and looks back, Amity’s head is in her hands, prompting Luz to rush back over.

“Hey, Ams, you good?” she whispers, not sure what she’s going to see as Amity lifts her head back up.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Just a little tired. You did, uh… wake me up, after all.” she stutters, forcing a smile.

Luz watches her intently as she talks. Her voice wavers on and off, like she’s embarrassed, and the entire time, there’s a faint bit of pink spreading across Amity’s cheeks, just barely visible in the dimly-lit dorm room. There’s no theater screen to explain that away this time either.

She promptly scratches the thought out of her mind a moment later.

“That I did.” Luz replies blankly before reigniting her typical smile. “If you want to go back to sleep, though, I won’t stop you.”

“No, I’ve already been asleep for…” she says before turning to look at her clock, the seven-segment display eagerly telling her it’s almost quarter after two. Her face flushes a bit.

“… three hours.” she finishes meekly, eyes darting around the room.

Luz cocks a brow. “You’ve been asleep since eleven?”

“Don’t judge me and my bad habits, Noceda. I had to be up early for my morning classes.”

“And then you promptly went back to bed, hm?”

“Drawing in bed is relaxing!” Amity protests, face going a bit red again.

“Whatever you say, weirdo.” Luz quips. Amity rolls her eyes and settles back into her previous position, notebook still resting on her legs. Luz stands silently, unsure of what to do now that Amity seems content to go back to her drawing. As she goes to walk away, though, she catches a glimpse of a drawing tacked onto Amity’s corkboard.

It’s another drawing of Hecate and Azura, a bit more intricate than the ones in Amity’s sketchbook. They’re embracing each other, subtle lines around them hinting at movement. It isn’t long before Luz realizes they’re supposed to be dancing together.

“Your, uh… cross-hatching. It’s nice. You’ve gotten better.” she says quietly, glancing over her shoulder at her friend.

“Oh, thanks. I had a lot of time to practice back in…” Amity replies before trailing off.

“Right.” Luz mutters, mood once again dropping. She’s determined to pick it back up, though. “Glad to see you still like Azura after all this time.” she continues, hoping Amity replies.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Amity asks curiously. Not the response Luz was expecting.

“… I don’t know. I sort of… fell off of it.” Luz mutters.

That gets her thinking, though: why did she stop reading Azura when she got here? It kept her going all through high school, provided her an escape from reality for a while each day. All of a sudden, it feels like she’s barely thought about it since moving in. She soon realizes something though.

“I think…” Luz starts quietly, “… I stopped reading it because we were fighting.”

Amity looks up at Luz from the bed, an anxious expression laying over her features. Luz lets out a long sigh and wipes her face.

“When I was mad at you… it was like I’d lost you again. After we split off, I didn’t know what happened, so… I never stopped hoping we’d be friends again. Reading Azura almost made it feel like you were still around. It reminded me of all the good times we had.” she explains. Amity’s expression drops.

“And then… we met again.” Amity mumbles, not looking up. Luz nods.

“When you finally explained what happened, only for me to see you with them, it was like… it finally confirmed we weren’t friends anymore. I got upset and pushed you away, and I guess I pushed Azura away too. The one thing that reminded me of our friendship ended up reminding me how angry I was. I’d spent years waiting, a-and it all happened so fast, and…”

Amity remains silent as Luz’ thoughts coalesce.

“… I came here hoping I’d find other people interested in Azura and… I did.” she ends with a diminished chuckle.

When she turns around, she finds Amity on the verge of tears. Without missing a beat, Luz returns to her seat by Amity’s side, forgoing the usual formality of asking in a rare assertion of her confidence.

“But now… we’re friends again. Maybe now, it… can remind me of the good things again.” Luz says quietly, forcing a smile in the hopes that it keeps Amity from crying. She sniffles instead.

“Y’know, it’s kind of funny.” Amity begins. “While I was waiting for you to talk to me again, I read Azura to remind myself of the good things too. I figured if I didn’t let go of it, you’d… eventually talk to me again.”

Luz scoots closer to Amity and extends an arm to her. Amity finally meets Luz’ gaze again, and despite the tears in the corner of her eyes, she forces a smile before sinking into Luz’ sideways embrace.

“I never let go of the hope that we’d be friends again, even when we were fighting. You mean too much to me, Luz.” she says quietly as she rests her head on Luz’ shoulder.

“You… mean a lot to me too, Amity.” Luz agrees.

Then, she turns her head and goes to kiss the top of Amity’s. Before she does though, she stops herself in her tracks. The endless warning sirens in her head blare around her, stopping her from doing something stupid once again.

She settles for resting her head on Amity’s, breathing lightly but steadily.

“Thank you for being with me.” Amity says sweetly. Luz smiles.

“Hey, that’s what friends do.” Luz replies, her smile fading as quickly as it had appeared.

They stay like that for a few minutes longer, both content to remain in the other’s arm.

“Hey, Ams?”

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” Luz asks, looking over at Amity’s clock.

“No, Professor Whispers cancelled for today, they’re off at some sort of conference.” Amity answers, quickly enough that Luz wonders if she was expecting that question.

“Fair enough.” she accepts. “No plans for the afternoon, then?”

“Not until dinner, no. I might draw some more.”

“Flex those cool artist muscles of yours?”

“Well, if it earns me more compliments from the likes of you, I might as well keep going.” Amity says with a laugh. Luz smiles again.

“By all means, keep going.” Luz says as she slowly frees Amity from her grasp. Amity nods, grabs a pencil from beside her, and turns the notebook to a new page. Luz sits and watches, every now and again asking a question that Amity spends close to five minute answering each time.

They spend the next two hours like that, Luz content in her decision to keep their friendship alive as Amity remains none the wiser, as far as she knows.

~~~~

“Once again leaving half your dinner untouched? You’re so wasteful, Ams.”

“I can’t help that I don’t eat a lot. The portions here are too big!”

The two of them chat as they eat dinner in the café later that evening. It’s completely dark outside despite it being relatively early, a remaining consequence of turning the clocks back a few weeks ago.

“At least let me kill that pickle spear.”

“Knock yourself out, Noceda.”

Before Amity can complete her shrug, Luz reaches across the table, grabs the pickle, and eats it in a matter of seconds. Amity laughs.

“Still hungry?” she asks, her tone a careful blend of playful and condescending.

“Eh, not really. Might… attack some of our snacks later though, I dunno.” Luz answers slowly.

“Damn, that’s a shame.” Amity muses out loud, stirring her drink with its straw. Luz cocks a brow.

“What, you wanna run to the store and stock up again? Y’know, I don’t eat that much, Ams.”

“No, we’re fine for the rest of the week and the weekend.”

“Oh, then… what’re ya getting at?” Luz asks curiously.

Amity doesn’t say anything, looking anywhere but Luz’ face. Luz tries to figure out what the heck Amity is getting at, but come up short as she replays the last few minutes of their time together over in her mind. Eventually, Amity interrupts her wondering.

“We never did, uh… go get that ice cream I promised you, huh?” she says quietly. Luz’ thoughts go silent.

“I… don’t think we did, no. Why, do you-“

“How about we go now?” Amity interrupts.

Luz takes a moment to think. It’s dark outside, and she’d probably rather just go back to the dorm than risk spending an evening in the commons’ bathroom, but she’s also dragged Amity into her fair share of shenanigans. Maybe she should let Amity take the lead for once.

“Alright.” she decides after a moment. “Wanna head out now?”

“Oh, uh… yeah! Let’s go!”

Luz stands up to go throw her garbage tray away, but before she can, Amity springs up and snatches Luz’ tray as well as her own. Before she turns to head to the trash bin, Luz can swear she sees a smirk resting on Amity’s lips. She laughs, and she can hear Amity laugh too.

~~~~

Despite her protests, Luz relinquishes driving authority to Amity, deciding that she gave up only because she doesn’t know where in downtown Bonesborough this ice cream parlor is. Since Luz usually does the driving whenever they go to the store together, she realizes it’s the first time she’s ever seen Amity’s car as Amity’s car. It’s in the lot, but as far as Luz had known, it was just another car.

It's a petite sedan, painted in a lovely metallic maroon. It’s slightly bigger than Luz’, and a different brand altogether, and it’s a few years newer too. When they get in, Luz whistles in approval.

“Sweet ride, Ams. When’d you get it?”

“On my seventeenth birthday. My mother bought it a few months prior thinking it’d motivate me to do better in school.”

Luz’ expression drops. Why does it always come back to-

“But,” Amity continues, “my father didn’t give it to me until I was actually seventeen. By then the divorce had been finalized, and my mother couldn’t keep it since it was in my father’s name. So when he ended up giving it to me as a present, it almost felt like he was giving me my first real bit of freedom, y’know?”

Luz looks over at Amity, and realizes that she’s smiling.

“That’s… actually a good way to think of it.” she says quietly. Amity nods.

“It doesn’t make up for him… not really being there for so long, but… it was a start.”

“Not wrong about that.”

“Anyway, uh. Yeah.” Amity wraps up awkwardly. “Put this address in your phone and we’ll get going.”

She pulls out a business card and hands it over to Luz. She quickly punches the address into Doogle Maps and starts giving Amity directions once they pull out onto the street.

~~~~

Fifteen minutes or so later, they arrive at the closest parking garage and find a decent spot to park a few levels up. After they jump out, Amity leads Luz to the nearest staircase and grabs her hand as they walk down. They’re practically running by the time they reach the bottom.

“Alright, which way from here Ams?”

“Just down this street. It’s next to a small pharmacy, we should see the sign for that first.”

With that, the two trample down the street Amity points them towards, Luz taking extra care not to step on the divisions between the concrete sidewalk tiles. Amity questions her at one point, and Luz simply says “Let me have my fun, Blight.” as she continues on.

Soon enough, they reach the pharmacy, the parlor sitting right next to it. Insides rests a pretty small number of square restaurant-style tables and cheap metal chairs, with an expansive freezer full of ice cream and milk products.

“Huh, this place looks… interesting.” Luz mutters, unimpressed by the sights.

“Come on, Noceda,” Amity says as she bumps Luz’ arm with her elbow, “You know as well as I do that the places that look like this always have good food. Remember Gino’s back in Gravesfield?”

Luz nods. “Sure do. I, too, enjoy my pizza being 90% grease.” she jokes.

“You’re impossible.” Amity says with a laugh. “Let’s go take our picks.”

They walk up to the counter and get greeted by a relatively-friendly worker. Amity attempts to point out the dairy-free options to Luz, but she looks pretty uninterested.

“Lemme get a medium mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone. Chocolate sprinkles too, if you would!” she requests with a smile. Amity crosses her arms and pouts.

“And for you…” the worker starts, before taking a good look at Amity. “… miss?”

Amity smiles and nods approvingly. “Small chocolate marshmallow in a sugar cone, please.”

“Coming right up.”

Luz and Amity watch the guy get to work making their desserts. At one point, Luz looks over at Amity, noticing the small bounces she’s doing with a smile wide on her face. Luz chuckles.

“What?” Amity asks, standing still when she hears Luz.

“Nothing, i-it’s nothing. You just… that was cute. Your bouncing.”

Amity goes red in the face. “Oh. I-I mean, right. Well, people usually, uh… get it wrong. So.” she stutters.

Luz giggles. “I get it, Ams. I like seeing you happy.”

Amity replies with her own giggle and smiles again, splotches of red fading to a light pink.

“Here you are, enjoy.” the worker says as they hand them their cones. They grab them, only for Luz to hand her’s to Amity.

“Food requires money, unfortunately. Gimme a sec.”

Before Amity can protest, Luz is handing the worker a $10 bill. She shoves the change in her pocket before taking her cone back and smiling. Amity scoffs as they go and sit down at one of the sparse tables.

“Aw man,” Luz says through bites of ice cream, “this stuff is legit! Why in titan’s name didn’t we come here sooner?”

“Well, usually we go out with Willow and Gus, or I have a morning class the next day and don’t want to be out late… I figured since you didn’t have work, it’d be a good night to do it.” Amity answers.

“Ah, so you did memorize my schedule!”

“You asked me to!”

“No, I suggested it to you. That’s different.”

“Whatever you say, weirdo.”

Luz chuckles and goes back to her ice cream, Amity following suit until a question appears to cross her mind. She raises an eyebrow and looks at Luz.

“Isn’t that gonna destroy your intestines or something to that effect?” she asks sarcastically.

“And yet,” Luz deflects, “I still put creamer in my coffee.”

“And half a bottle of chocolate syrup.”

“Like you’re any better with yours!”

“Whatever. They make medications to help with it, you know.”

“And I’m gonna pay for that medication with what money?”

“You say as, just a minute ago, you paid for my ice cream along with your own.”

“Not the point, Blight.” Luz states flatly. “Eat your frozen dairy product. Every drop that melts away is another penny of mine that’s going to waste.”

The two of them share a laugh before digging in again. Within minutes, Luz is done with hers, but Amity takes her time. Luz waits patiently, checking her phone every so often. Soon enough, Amity downs the last of her cone and cleans up the table.

“Ready to head back?” Amity asks as Luz stares at her phone. She looks up when she hears Amity.

“Oh, yeah. Let’s head out.”

Amity offers a hand to Luz, who takes it and lets Amity pull her off the chair. Despite making it intentionally more difficult, Amity has no problem hoisting her up, it seems. A minute later, they’re back out on the street.

~~~~

“We’re gonna go back, right? Willow and Gus would love it.” Luz says when they’re back in the dorm.

“Of course we will, I think we both enjoyed it.” Amity answers kindly.

“Thanks for taking me, Ams. It was nice.”

“Well,” Amity starts, “I did promise that I would.”

Luz chuckles. “Amity, you didn’t have to-“

“Luz, I wanted to take you. Not just because I promised, because… I thought you’d like it.” Amity says quietly.

“I did like it. I’m happy you wanted to go with me.” Luz says with a smile.

She walks over to Amity and extends her arms, drawing her friend into a hug. Amity settles into place, her arms wrapped tightly around Luz’ frame.

“You know… there was something else we never got to do.” Amity mumbles.

“Oh yeah?”

“We, uh… well…”

Amity’s words are quiet, like she’s nervous. She lets go of Luz and backs away, and Luz’ expression drops. She can’t what Amity’s talking about, or what her next move will be.

So, her next words hit Luz like a brick.

“… we never got to dance together.” Amity says. That same faint pink has returned to her features.

Luz’s mind stops. The last night they spoke, this was the only thing Luz could think about. Regardless of anything else, whether she gave Amity that stupid note or not, she knew she wanted to dance with her. Now she has that chance.

“I’d… love to.” Luz replies, a small smile on her face.

Amity bounces in place for a second before pulling out her phone. Luz waits patiently as Amity scrolls through her music, searching for something suitable for dancing.

Soon enough, she finds something.

Begin Track 21: affection

Amity smiles and returns to Luz, holding her arms out for Luz to take them. They stand there, hand in hand, as the song starts.

“I used to listen to this back when… we were apart. I don’t know why, it just… it felt right.” Amity explains as she sets her phone on her dresser.

    You’re taking what you want right from me

    Wrapped up in so much

    Life is just the way you hold me

It’s the kind of song Luz probably would’ve made fun of in high school, but now… here with Amity, it’s perfect. The dreaminess of the song fits Amity so well, Luz’ face heating up at the sight of Amity’s beautiful smiling face.

    You pick your miscellaneously

    Wrapped up in all the choices you’re not giving to me

They stay apart at first, swaying with hands locked and arms straight. Amity twirls Luz around, and she laughs. Luz returns the gesture, Amity twisting like a ballerina that’s rehearsed this dance for weeks.

    I’m laying on the floor

    We’re drinking ‘cause we’re bored

Every movement syncs up to create a show for their invisible audience.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while now, but… I wasn’t sure if…” Amity says quietly under the music, looking away from Luz.

“You’re good, Ams.” Luz replies just as quietly, almost whispering. “We’re okay.”

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

Amity smiles at Luz, the faint light from her desk lamp casting a warm orange hue over everything in the room. Luz smiles back, unable to draw herself away. Amity pulls her closer, resting her hands on Luz’ shoulders as she moves hers to Amity’s hips. Every movement, every motion threatens to sweep her away.

Deep down, she knows the risk she’s taking, but she ignores her swarming thoughts.

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

Something in Luz’ head tells her to move off, but she remains steady as the music surrounds her. She’s not going to ruin this moment if she can help it. Amity’s been so nice to her, so much nicer than she deserved to be treated… it’s more than she could ever ask for. Amity chose to give her another chance, and she’s determined not to waste it again.

    You’re saying what you want right to me

    No filter on your mouth, we know you talk in your sleep

Amity giggles. “You do, y’know.”

“I do not!” Luz protests, both of them laughing as wispy guitar and bass notes flow around them.

    Remembering the times they won’t remember me

    Our nights melt into sequels, you sink into me

The air is crisp, the music bringing them closer and closer. Amity slowly rests her head on Luz’ shoulder, moving her now-free hand onto Luz’ hip. Luz tenses up for a second, but stays absorbed in the moment.

    I’m laying on the floor

    We’re drinking ‘cause we’re bored

Amity whispers something in Luz’ ear, but she can’t make it out. She can feel herself falling, getting lost in Amity’s touch, time slowing down as everything around them fades to grey.

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

In a single moment, Luz realizes she hasn’t really been listening to the song. She’s been caught up in the dance, feeling Amity move with her and sway to the beat, the two of them living out the fantasy they never got to when they were younger. They spent so long waiting for this, and now they have it.

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

Now, though, the words ring in her head, a silent reminder that she’s too far in, too comfortable, too close… but it’s fine, friends dance with each other. Friends are allowed to be close, it’s not a bad thing. She just…

Amity picks her head up and smiles at her.

    Just a little bit of affection, a little bit

… the warning sirens flare up again, and she can hear them now. She fights them off.

    Just a little bit of affection, a little bit

Amity’s face is millimeters from her own, eyes locked with hers…

    Just a little bit, just a little bit

The sirens grow louder, yelling at her to run away.

    Just a little bit of it, affection

Amity leans in, and Luz stumbles, falling back.

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

“Luz! Are you okay?” Amity shouts, having lost her grip on Luz.

“Amity was about to… no, we’re friends. She couldn’t, she doesn’t…“ she thinks.

She stands there, mind racing as thoughts pool in her head. The music drones on.

“… this is wrong. This shouldn’t be happening…”

“Luz, talk to me! A-are you alright?” she barely hears Amity shout.

“… it’s too early, it’s too early, it’s too early-“

    Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places

    And we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces

Amity steps closer, and Luz shuffles backwards. Her face is on fire, the cold air from the room doing nothing to cool her down. She looks up to see Amity’s face, morphed into an anxious expression of concern, completely unaware of the mess of wires crossing in Luz’ head.

“We’re friends.” she reminds herself with a hushed whisper. ”Friends don’t…”

“… Luz?”

“… if Amity doesn’t see me as a friend, she-”

Luz forces the sirens in her head to go silent, mind blank as Amity stands alone just inches away from her.

“I… I can’t… we… i-it’s too early…”

“Too early…?” Amity asks meekly. Luz peels her eyes away; she can’t bear to look at her former friend anymore.

“… I-I… I have to go…”

“Luz? Luz, wait, we can-!”

Before Amity can get the words out, Luz pulls the door open and runs out of the dorm, disappearing into the dim light of the hallway as a single question repeats in her mind:

“If we’re not friends… what are we?”

Notes:

i broke my 5K word limit for this chapter. too much gay (and) angst

in all seriousness though, i really hope you enjoyed this chapter. this has been something i've wanted to write since i started writing fics, and i don’t know if it’s perfect, but it’s absolutely my favorite chapter. i sincerely want to thank all of you for reading this far, your support and kind words mean the world to me. i hope you’ll join me next weekend for the beginning of the end! <3

subscribe to my inane creature ramblings on my twitter

Chapter 17: telephones, part 2

Summary:

Things weren’t supposed to end up like this.

Notes:

woahg lookit that ya girl mackenzie is back with more affection hell yeah woohoo (no, the chapter title isn’t a mistake, it might make sense eventually)

so uh this chapter is LONG, wayyyy longer than i anticipated. its 8000+ words! wtf!!! it also deals with pretty heavy self-hatred stuff (at least compared to the rest of this fic), so TWs for panic attacks, self-deprecation, and car crashes (sorta). yeah.

also!!! this chapter was betaread by my friend and fellow (way more experienced) fic writer extraordinaire, red!!! or rather, conoroberstfan!!! she’s been following this fic since it started and i’m so grateful to her for reading this over and giving suggestions and helping me edit this so it can be as good as it can be. please please please check out her writing too, it's all excellent and she deserves more fans!!!!!

glad to be back, and i hope you all enjoy this one as much as i enjoyed (cried) writing it!

Track 22: Pleaser by Wallows
Track 23: Telephones by Vacations

*No track playing*

She runs down the hallway of the dormitory, no clear destination in mind but one very obvious goal: get as far away from her roommate-slash-friend-slash-something as possible. She stumbles as she runs down the stairs, hand gripping the railing as if letting go would mean certain death. The warning sirens in her head are blaring at full blast the entire time, the noise keeping her focused on her sole objective.

After what feels like an hour of running further and further down into the pit, she arrives at the dormitory’s large glass entrance doors. It’s definitely much too cold to be going out with what little she has on, but none of that matters as she shoves through the doors and runs towards her little blue car.

She fumbles with the keys as she attempts to unlock it, nearly dropping them as she goes to hit the button. The sensation of the little indented lock symbol on it helps her ground herself; it’s something to remind her she’s still here, still able to recognize the world and objects around her. As she climbs into her car, the cold touch of the leather seat sends a chill up her spine.

When she makes the mistake of looking to her side, the bright purple Azura lunchbox she usually takes to work greets her with a condescending smile. Of course she forgot to bring it inside after her last shift. It almost immediately reminds her of her roommate, the one who couldn’t help but smile the first time she noticed Luz carrying it into the dorm however long ago.

God, Amity’s going to despise her now. Why wouldn’t she? Surely this would be the last straw; Amity gave her chance after chance, and all she could do with these chances was waste them. Maybe Boscha was right after all: she is best at running away.

Luz’s throat hurts as she spits out a harsh laugh. The idea of Boscha being correct about anything is so laughable on its own that it almost makes her want to stomp back up to Amity and beg forgiveness just so that she stays above them. Hell, if she could get her legs to work she probably would, but they feel about as solid and steady as Jell-O right now.

Her head falls into her hands as she feels tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. She attempts a breathing exercise to steady herself, and it mostly works… until reality itself starts to seep into the car with her.

The harsh glow of the streetlight above the lot hurts her eyes. The scent from the tiny almost-empty air freshener clipped to one of the vents is overpowering. She can feel loose strands of hair on her neck and shoulders, each one pricking her like a needle. Every sensation is a nightmare. It’s too much, it’s too much, it’s too much.

Then, out of nowhere (but not entirely unexpectedly), her phone vibrates. It startles her for a second, but does help her come to her senses and snap out of the attack. The problem now, then, is that notifications don’t come out of thin air. She pulls out her phone and swiftly hits the power button through sheer muscle memory. It’s not like her to ignore a notification.

When it turns out to be a Wizcord message from Amity, though, she has no problem immediately shutting her eyes, clicking the screen off, and shoving the wretched device back in her pocket. It’s easy enough for her to assume what the message says: she can practically hear Amity’s voice in her head chastising her.

“If you’re going to keep running away, don’t bother coming back this time.”

By the time she looks up again, her knuckles are pale and strained with how tight her grip is. She can feel tiny beads of sweat on her forehead, despite the air surrounding her being fairly cold. Those same familiar warning sirens blare around her, but this time, they’re telling her to go back. They’re stupidly inconsistent, but they make up for that in sheer annoyance.

Really, they’re right. She should go back, she knows she should go back. She should walk straight back to Amity and apologize, for what little that would mean to her at this point. She knows anything would be better than sitting here like a sack of potatoes, procrastinating and wasting time as if Amity’s just another college assignment for her to turn in past due. She knows she has to fix this once again, she knows she has to, even if it’s truly too late this time.

So, she turns the key in the ignition, puts the car in reverse, looks back towards the dormitory, and tries as hard as she can to not break down into sobs as she drives off the lot.

~~~~

Her small blue car toils up the hill to the main road, still without a destination in her mind as she rolls up to the first traffic light. Its red glow brightens up the dark insides of the vehicle just a tiny bit. When it turns, she heads in the direction of the diner she really wishes she was going to with her friends right now.

She can’t stop her thoughts from drifting as she drives. Once or twice she catches herself in the middle of one of these fogs, quickly adjusting her car’s orientation to avoid crossing any lines or hitting any barriers. She really shouldn’t be driving when her head is this much of a mess, but keeping herself going feels far less scary than slowing down.

She crests a hill. The diner sits at the bottom of the other side, shimmering as the streetlights hit its stainless steel exterior. It’s not as blinding as the light earlier, but with the memories of events barely twenty minutes old still as vivid to her as the sight itself, it might as well be a beacon of whatever the opposite of hope is. The majority of her effort goes towards keeping her foot on the brake as she descends towards the intersection.

She briefly considers pulling into the parking lot and turning around, but decides it’s too early to go back. She can’t go back with such a messed-up conscience, she has to hammer out a game plan so she doesn’t end up babbling like a moron. And yet, the longer she waits, the harder it is to put her feelings into words. Every time she tries to think of something to say, it all melts together into a sludge of incomplete sentences and syllables. She always ends up trashing whatever she’s come up with and then starting over just to do it again.

… she passes the diner a few seconds later without even realizing it.

A little ways further is the junction for a state road. She pulls up to the traffic light, mind and body stuck working against each other. There’s another parking lot up ahead, large enough for her to turn around in and dark enough that it’s unlikely any fellow drivers would look at her funny for driving into a random lot at night. Because people do that, probably.

When the light changes, however, she finds herself turning onto the state road anyway. She wonders whether she used her turn signal or not, and the small spike of anxiety she feels as she considers the possibility that she didn’t is almost comforting as it overtakes all the other thoughts swirling around at the moment. She turns on the radio to drown them out.

*Play Track 22: Pleaser*

Music has always been her respite, especially while driving. It gives her something to focus on, something to center herself with and stay alert. Whatever song is playing on the random station she’s tuned into starts off kind of quiet, but abruptly amps up and succeeds in muddying the waters in her brain for a little bit.

The state road is comparatively calm; it sort of reminds her of the highway her friends took on their way to the movies. It feels like that was ages ago now. She remembers that night fondly, including how peaceful Amity looked as the pretty girl slept on her shoulder. At the same time, she remembers just how hard she tried to keep herself from moving too much, just so that she wouldn’t disturb Amity…

“… well, so much for the whole drowning thing.”

She’s acutely aware of the poetic irony in trying so hard to protect Amity from herself, only to always end up being the one to hurt her. She doesn’t do it on purpose, she swears she doesn’t, but it feels like it’s inevitable at this point. Besides, it doesn’t matter if it’s intentional or not, what matters is that it keeps happening and she doesn’t know how to stop it from happening in the future.

She shifts in her seat and takes a hand off the wheel to absentmindedly run it through her hair. She tries to ignore the fact she can still feel each individual strand touching the back of her head and neck, but ends up spending a good minute just raking the hand across her scalp to try and shift everything into a perfect, comfortable position again. Eventually she gives up, her arm nearly giving out.

Memories of the dance pop up in the front of her mind, no matter how forcefully she tries to shove them away. Holding Amity close as the soft music played, lights shining around them like an audience cheering them on, the smile on her maybe-friend’s face the entire time, like she’d been waiting for this, whatever this is, since high school- well, she had been waiting that long, actually. And then…

…she grips the steering wheel tightly, too tightly, as her thoughts start to swarm again.

“Amity was about to… there’s no way she was actually going to do it though, right? She wouldn’t, she wouldn’t see me like that, not after everything I did, every time I screwed up. But she was about to- no, no, we’re friends, we were friends, friends don’t just do that… and there’s no way that she could feel the same way I do, absolutely not…”

For all she knows, she imagined it. After all, it doesn’t make any sense for Amity to even care about her after she’s done so many shitty things, much less want to be that… close. She can’t wrap her head around it, not for a second. Amity should hate her, or at the very least stop trying to be friends with her. Doing anything more than tolerating her is just plain stupid.

She cares so deeply for Amity, more than she usually realizes in the moment. That’s why she’d been taking this so slow, after all, because she didn’t want to force Amity to be her friend. It doesn’t matter if she has feelings for Amity, she vowed to not let them get in the way of their friendship because that is, or was, so important to maintain. So much for that.

The thoughts distract her, take her mind away from what she should be focusing on, but she can’t help it. The very air she’s breathing feels constricting as her brain works feverishly to unscramble her contradicting desires. She wants to talk to Amity, but never wants to see her again. She wants everything to work itself out, but can’t stand not being the one to fix things. Most of all though, she wants to be close to Amity, but she doesn’t want to hurt her. Everything hurts.

She doesn’t notice the bright, reflective yellow sign alerting drivers of an upcoming traffic light.

Then again, what if Amity doesn’t hate her? What if Amity gives her yet another chance, and she still manages to muck it up?? How much more is Amity willing to let her get away with??? The possibility of being given another opportunity (she still hates calling it that) and messing up again hurts even more than the idea of Amity never talking to her from here on out, and she hates that.

No, Amity will find a reason to hate her. Everyone else has, so Amity will too! She’s Luz, after all: she’s the weird one, she’s the annoying one, she’s the stupid one, she’s the off-putting one, she’s the wrong one. She is the problem. Everyone else made up their mind, but Amity keeps insisting on sticking around, trying to… trying to study and figure out why Luz is the way she is, always making mistakes and making empty promises to do better, only to end up fucking everything up again and making life worse for everyone around her, but she can barely keep her own head on straight half the time and wishes everything in that stupid head would just stop-

Four bright red lights. Brakes slamming. Tires screeching. A lunchbox flying towards the windshield. Hands clutching the steering wheel. Eyes forcing themselves shut. The radio falling silent.

…

When she opens her eyes again, she’s mere millimeters from the car in front of her. It’s a miracle she didn’t run straight into their bumper.

“W-Woah…” is all she can sputter out loud. Her mind is racing faster than her mouth. “I-I almost… I could’ve- I could’ve hurt someone else, I-I…”

Everything comes to a head at that moment. She’s a danger to the people around her, not just mentally but physically too. Thank god her weird stupid brain kicked in and hit the brake pedal, or else…

“Oh… oh no, no nonono…”

… the thought alone finally breaks her, and she collapses into sobs. It’s too much, everything around her, everything she is, it’s all just too much. She can’t stop making mistakes, ruining everything around her, and she nearly wrecked not just her car but someone else’s car and could’ve seriously injured someone else. Her head falls into her arms as they rest folded on the wheel, the world around her fading away until she hears a horn beep behind her. It shocks her back to reality, and she curses herself for holding someone else up with her issues.

“I… need to go home.” Luz says the air around her. It doesn’t concur.

It takes a good minute for her composure, shaky as it is, to reassert itself. She can’t stay on the road: it’s too big a risk, and if something were to happen to someone else by her hands, she’d never be able to forgive herself. If for that reason and that reason alone, she slowly trudges along to the next parking lot when the light turns green and slips back onto the state road in the opposite direction.

Before she knows it, she’s back where she started.

~~~~

Amity’s car isn’t in the parking lot. Luz doesn’t have to look too hard for it; she knows by now exactly where Amity likes to park (because she gets annoyed when someone else is occupying it). She isn’t exactly heartbroken about it, considering if she even saw Amity right now she’d probably break down into a literal puddle, but knowing that her dorm room is empty makes the idea of going back there feel like a prison sentence complete with solitary confinement.

Nevertheless, she can’t drive when she’s this messed up and she can’t go to her dorm for fear of sinking even deeper into her self-loathing. Thus, she needs somewhere else to go. It doesn’t take her much time to think of a third option, though she knows exactly what’s in store for her if she shows up looking like… this.

Her hair is all messy and unkempt, probably a bit greasy too from running her hands through it. There’s little dots on her shirt, the remnants of tears slowly but unsteadily drying up. Her hands are shaking, constantly trembling whether she’s actively trying to control them or not. No way in hell is she prepared for what they might ask her.

The tall glass door at the foot of the dorm feels twice as heavy as she heaves it open. If it were any other time, she might’ve turned around right then and there, but she keeps going. She isn’t sure where this determination is coming from or what it means, but it leads her up to the second floor where the co-ed rooms lie in wait of her arrival. Each stair she climbs is a tiny victory.

She finally makes it to Room 203, and she barely registers the sound of her knocking or the impact of her knuckle on the wooden door. It isn’t long before her request for asylum is answered, the stout frame of one of the occupants greeting her. She looks tired and disheveled.

"Hey, wildfl-“ Luz opens with, putting on the most confident voice she can, only to realize she’s probably interrupted whatever Willow was doing. “Oh, uh… I-I’m sorry, y-you look busy, I’ll come back…“ she stutters as she points at the wall behind her and turns to leave.

“Luz?” Willow asks quietly. Luz stops in her tracks but doesn’t turn around, picturing Willow’s uncomfortable expression. “What’s wrong, you look-“

Luz turns around and interrupts with the cheesiest of cheesy smiles. ”Great? Awesome? Amazing? I know.” She shoots some trademark finger guns, but they lack their typical pizzazz. “Anyway, uh, I’ll see you-”

There’s a quick spark in Willow’s eyes as she looks straight through Luz. Then, without another word, she pulls Luz into the dorm by the arm, quickly enough that Luz can’t fight back and firmly enough that she couldn’t run away now if she tried.

“Gosh, those… workouts are really, uh… working out.” Luz quips, rubbing her shoulder. Willow doesn’t laugh.

“How about a cup of tea, and then you can tell me what’s going on?” Willow says. It’s phrased as a question but Luz knows that it’s more of an order. She doesn’t move, but Willow is already on her way to the coffee machine by then, so Luz has no choice but to make herself at home.

The heavy wooden door soon closes behind her with a thud, startling her a bit. Willow returns with a steaming mug of tea just a minute later, and Luz takes it without hesitation.

“I put extra honey, I know you like it on the sweeter side.”

“Thanks, Willow… I-“

“Just a sec, I want to know what’s going on but I gotta get out of these clothes first. It’s been a long day.” Willow cuts her off, but it’s not out of malice, just weariness. If it weren’t for that, Luz would’ve started trauma-dumping right then and there and wouldn’t have stopped until sunrise. Only then does Luz notice that Willow is dressed for a presentation, button-down shirt tucked neatly into a pair of pressed khakis, complete with a green tie.

“I’d, uh… prefer if you didn’t look, if that’s okay.” she says quietly, almost nervously.

Luz obliges regardless. “Oh, oh, say no more! Not looking mode activated!” she chimes with a saccharine level of artificial sweetness, and turns to face the door. She considers running for a moment, dropping the mug of hot tea on the carpet and staining it just so she can get away before Willow can stop her, but she doesn’t. She can’t. She needs to be here right now.

“You’re good, Luz.” Willow states after a few moments.

“Yeah, I’m great!” Luz says, way too quickly, before realizing her mistake. “Oh, yeah, right, you meant… yeah.”

When Luz turns around, she sees the frown plastered on Willow’s face and almost panics. She takes a long sip of tea and tries to find something to shift the focus onto, and it doesn’t take her too long to find it: there’s a binder sitting on Willow’s bed. It’s black, grey, and white, with a thin green stripe through the center.

“Oh, is that a new binder? It looks nice, really great colors!” Luz rambles while looking at the piece of fabric. The words “They/Themming it Up” are written across it in black lettering. “Oh, you didn’t mention you had switched up your pronouns.”

“Yeah, it’s a newer thing. I was talking with Gus, and w-“ Willow says, before stopping and shaking their head. “… no, no, no more deflecting. Something’s bothering you, bad.” they say.

Luz looks away anxiously, freezing up.

“Did… did something happen with Amity?” Willow asks in a near-whispering voice. Luz’ gaze snaps towards them, and even if she wanted to deflect, the look on her face is enough to tip them off, so she doesn’t bother.

“I-I… well, I mean, things… happened… you know, as they do…” Luz mumbles, nearly spilling some tea when she forgets the mug is in her hand. She anxiously takes another sip, the sweet taste not even being processed by her head.

“Luz, if something happened and you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay-” Willow begins, their twiddling fingers telling Luz that they’re not done. “But you sound really, really upset right now, and it’s worrying me. I think it’d be better if you talked about it.”

“Willow, i-it’s… it’s no-“

Willow’s tone shifts to something harsher. “Luz, if you even try to tell me that this is nothing…”

“It’s not nothing.” Luz admits. “It’s a lot. But, it’s also not a lot. It’s really silly, actually, the more I think about it…”

“And what would that be?”

Luz pauses for a moment, swallowing hard. “I think Amity tried to kiss me.”

*Play Track 23: Telephones (set to loop)*

Willow’s expression changes again. Luz can’t make it out, but it definitely isn’t surprise. They walks a little closer to Luz, but she doesn’t meet their gaze.

“And… what happened after that?”

“Well, I-I… ran off. We were dancing together, and then I saw her move towards me, a-and… I-I don’t know, I just- felt the need to run, to get away from her as fast as I could.”

She stares down at the floor, and Willow takes an unsteady step towards her.

“You left?”

“Yeah. I did.” Luz mutters. Saying it out loud makes her feel even worse, like it’s something that actually happened and not just a bad dream she’ll eventually wake up from.

“Where did you go?”

“I-I, uh…” Luz swallows hard again, the not-so-distant memory of the near-accident making her mouth go totally dry. “I went out.”

“You went out as in, like, driving???” Willow realizes. The look on their face says a million more words, but Luz hopes they know better than to beat her down even more. Or maybe they should go to town on her, for all she knows.

Luz gulps. “Yeah, I-I, uh… I did.” she mumbles.

“Luz, that’s incredibly dangerous!” Willow scolds, but they sound more worried than angry. “If you’re this upset, something really bad could’ve-“

They pause and take a deep breath, counting with their fingers, before returning to Luz.

“We can… talk about that later. Did Amity… try to contact you, or anything like that?” Willow questions. Luz wonders if they’re reading her mind, but is eternally thankful she doesn’t have to talk about the near-accident, right now anyway.

“She…” Luz feels like something is caught in her throat. She doesn’t know if it’s a sob, or another silly attempt at brushing this whole thing off. “She sent a message. I can’t read it.” she eventually spits out.

“Luz…”

“I can’t, Willow. I can’t read it. I-I’m not ready. Whatever it says, it’s too much.”

Willow sighs, and Luz is quick to assume that she’s testing Willow’s patience. They don’t react with anger, though, their calm demeanor remaining steadfast as they attempt to comfort Luz.

“Here, I think we should sit down. Is that okay with you?”

“Alright.” Luz replies after another moment of silence. Her legs are so tired.

Luz sets the mug on the counter. The two of them join each other on the plush couch, the sensation of its fabric and stitching throwing Luz for a loop. It’s a lot more comfortable than the leather seat of her car, that’s for sure, but it feels unusually stiff and rough as it cushions her controlled fall. Her arm rests on top of the kind-of garish throw pillow Willow’s dads probably bought for them.

Luz is the first to break the silence. “I’m such an idiot, Willow.”

“I don’t really think that’s the case. Something unfamiliar was about to happen, and your fight-or-flight kicked in. That’s not entirely unreasonable.”

“Yeah, it is.” Luz rejects the olive branch outright. “Running away was the worst possible choice I could’ve made, and yet that’s what I chose.”

“I think Amity’ll understand, she-“

“She’s gonna hate me, Willow.” Luz interrupts rudely; Willow falls silent. “She’s finally gonna stop trying to be my friend, okay? She doesn’t have any reason to keep trying.”

“Luz, she’s not-“

“No, Willow, she will.” Luz nearly shouts, the anger she feels towards herself rising to the surface like a volcano on the verge of erupting. “She’s finally gonna figure out that I’m an awful person that keeps making stupid mistakes and ruining everything for everyone!”

As her fears coalesce, she finds herself hopping off the couch and awkwardly pacing around the dorm room, palms running over her face as she tries to keep herself from sobbing again. She can’t help but want to yell at Willow and make them agree with her assessment of herself. When Willow doesn’t move, though, the volcano erupts.

“She’s gonna hate me, Willow! She’s probably sitting wherever she is wondering why she even bothered putting up with me for so long! I mean, I thought the rollerdisco thing was the last straw, but then it wasn’t. Then the supermarket incident was definitely the last straw, but then that wasn’t either! This has to be the one, this has to be the one that finally makes Amity realize how awful and terrible of a person I am! It has to be!!!”

By the time she’s done ranting, tears are streaming down her face again. She can’t stop them, but she doesn’t want to. She just wants to be content in feeling like this is finally the end of the road, that this is truly where she and Amity part ways.

Unfortunately, Willow doesn’t seem content to let that happen, and before Luz can spout more vitriol towards herself, they're pulling her into a tight bear hug. She doesn’t hug back, but Willow doesn’t move away.

“Luz, Amity’s not going to hate you. She’s your friend, and friends don’t abandon each other over something like this. She’ll understand, and I know she will, because I understand.” they mumble as Luz’ head falls onto their shoulder. Still, she doesn’t hug back.

“But I-I abandoned her.” she mutters. “I left her there to wonder what’s wrong with me, why I’m so awful.”

“You know she isn’t like that though. Amity’s not the kind of person to up and leave someone just because they’re not perfect.” Willow reasons. At first, Luz isn’t receptive, but Willow goes on in spite of that. “I know you two have had your issues, but neither of you ever gave up on the other. Even when you were upset with her, I could tell how much you cared, and I think she cares about you just as much.”

“It doesn’t make sense why she would bother with me of all people.” Luz reminds them. “I’ve done so many stupid things…”

Willow keeps quiet as Luz trails off. Then, without warning, they let go of her and Luz steps back, confused and a little off-balance.

“So, by that logic, Gus and I should hate you too.” Willow says blankly.

“Wait, where is…?” she wonders for a moment. “Shoot, focus, Luz.”

“I mean… well, I guess you should, huh?” she mutters, staring at the floor. “I ruined our first day in the lounge, dragged you both into that stupid rollerdisco thing without giving you the whole story, made you uncomfortable by asking you to come to the rugby game…”

“But we don’t hate you, do we?” Willow asks. Luz can’t tell if they want an answer or not.

“… do you?”

Willow’s expression drops. “No, Luz, we don’t hate you. We could never hate you, I promise.”

“But- why not?”

“Because you’re our friend.” Willow states without a millisecond of hesitation. Luz finally looks up at them again. “Friends make mistakes sometimes, it’s part of life, but… true friends won’t give up on you just because you mess up and things go south sometimes. And, like, if we’re being totally honest here, two of those things were Boscha’s fault, not yours.”

Willow once again attempts to lighten the mood. It almost works this time, and a tiny smile shoots across Luz’ face for just a split second before it fades into a frown once again. Willow takes a step closer.

“I wish I could stop messing up so often.” Luz mumbles, feeling tears welling up in the corners of her eyes yet again. “I’m a pretty bad person most of the time.”

“That’s not even close to true, Luz.” Willow consoles her, taking one more step towards their friend. “Bad people don’t care if they screw up, but even if you make mistakes, you never stop trying to make up for them. That’s what separates you from a bad person: you recognize your mistakes and want to make up for them. Heck, even when they’re not your mistakes, you want to make up for them. Not everyone is as considerate as you. You’re an incredibly kind, selfless person Luz, even if you don’t see it.”

Hearing Willow’s words feel like falling onto a fluffy stack of pillows. They aren’t far into the speech before Luz finds herself crying again, warm tears streaming down her cheeks and onto the ground as she tries to think of something to say, some way to reciprocate Willow’s incredibly kind words. Not many other people would dare bother to try and cheer her up when she’s like this, much less be this compassionate and heartfelt while doing it, but Willow does it like it’s second-nature. They’re one of the best friends anyone could ask for, and when she realizes that again, she breaks down into sobs. Willow’s there to catch her though, wrapping their arms around her without fail.

“Y-You’re right… h-heck, I-I know you’re right, Willow, i-it’s just- hard to accept it.” she says through her sobs.

“I know.” Willow replies, rubbing small circles into Luz’ back as they prop her up with their arms and shoulders. “But I meant every word I said, and if you ever think that you’re not deserving of those words, I won’t hesitate to say it all again. Just let me know.”

“Th… thank you, Willow.” she gets out. “I-I’m so sorry for-”

“Shh, shh, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Luz tries to keep herself standing as best she can, head resting against Willow’s neck as the weight of everything she’s been keeping in pours out of her. Part of her still thinks she doesn’t deserve a friend as comforting and supportive as Willow, but the other part of her would rather cease to be than deny that friendship. No one else has been so kind to her, except for…

“Luz?” Willow whispers a few moments later. Luz has stopped sobbing, apparently, but the lack of any sound coming from her seems to have tipped Willow off again. They’re so good at reading her by this point, they can probably tell exactly what she’s thinking based on instinct alone.

“I-I’m still here.” she whispers back.

“Still have stuff on your mind?”

“A… a bit.” She takes a deep breath in, and slowly lets it go. “Y-Yeah.”

“Well, I’m still here if you want to talk about it.”

Luz lets go of Willow and stands upright again. Her entire body feels like it’s made of ten-ton weights right now, but it’ll just have to keep going until she sits down again. Thankfully, Willow swiftly walks her back to the couch the second they notice Luz about to go down. After they both take a seat, Luz huddled up next to her friend as she realizes how chilly she is, she acknowledges the elephant in the room once again.

“I was wondering what Amity’s doing now, after I… ran away.”

“Is she up in your room?”

“No, her car wasn’t here when I got back.”

“Ah.” Willow sounds in acknowledgment before both of them fall silent.

“It sucks.” Luz grumbles some moments later. “Earlier I was thinking, like… she’s probably not even thinking about me right now. Honestly it feels selfish to assume she is, I think.”

“Why’s that?” Willow asks, sounding genuinely concerned and curious as to how Luz came to such a conclusion.

“Well, I-I mean, it’s selfish, right? To assume someone else is thinking about you just because you’re thinking about them?” she wonders.

“She’s your friend, Luz.” Willow reminds her.

Luz lets out a sad chuckle. “Is she?”

“I really don’t think Amity’s the kind of person to give up and move on when things get tough. I haven’t talked to her much recently, but I know she values your friendship, even if it’s not perfect.”

“But surely she’ll get tired of it eventually, right? It’s bound to happen again, I-I can’t seem to stop messing up. No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”

“Well, besides the fact that she’s your friend, I could think of a pretty big reason that she won't.” Willow posits. It feels like an attempt to lighten the mood, but their tone is less than jovial.

“And wh-what would that be?”

“I, uh, don’t know if you’re gonna like it.” Willow backtracks quietly, uncertainly.

Luz shuffles uncomfortably and looks over at them. “Willow…”

“Is it really that far-fetched to think that she could-“

“She wouldn’t.” Luz stops them. “No, no, there’s no way that she could ever…”

“Like you back?” Willow finally completes the thought. Luz stares, silent. “Luz…”

“Willow, don’t.”

“The possibility is there, whether you think so or not.”

“I-I can barely figure out how to be her friend correctly, even if she-” she pauses and shakes her head before doubling down on her doubts. “Even if she could, she… she wouldn’t. I’ve messed up too many times. She wouldn’t keep coming back just because she… y’know.”

“It’s not like there’s a whiteboard above your head covered in tally marks for every mistake you’ve ever made, Luz. Those mistakes don’t make you unworthy of someone else’s love.”

“And how do you know that?” Luz asks incredulously, completely skipping over that last word.

Willow’s voice softens. “Because, I…”

“… Willow?”

“Because I’ve… seen the way she looks at you.” Willow finally speaks after a moment. “The way her eyes light up whenever you’re cracking a joke. The way her voice changes when she’s talking to you, the way she giggles at every little gesture of yours. Is it really that impossible?”

Luz goes silent again. Maybe in the back of her mind she knew the possibility was there, and she had just convinced herself it was fiction, or maybe she truly believed there was no way for Amity to feel the same way, or maybe Amity really doesn’t and Willow’s grasping at straws. They’re all just possibilities, but it feels like she has to choose one, here and now.

“I really don’t think she could. She…” Luz sighs. “I don’t know.” she whimpers.

“Y’know, you spent almost two years thinking she hated you. To go from that to… the possibility that it’s something more, well, it’s a lot to take in.” Willow ponders out-loud.

Luz sniffles. “Yeah.” she replies. “So much has happened between us, it’s just… so much.”

Willow sighs, and Luz closes in on herself a bit more. “You’re important to her. She wants to be a part of your life.” they state in no uncertain terms.

“She shouldn’t, I’m not im-“ Luz goes to deny before pausing to consider her words. “I’m not that important.”

“Luz, do you- do you really believe that?”

“I…” she begins unsteadily. It’s not often she actually has to reveal her awful feelings about herself. “I don’t know. Maybe? I-It’s stupid, but it feels like… like I don’t deserve other people’s kindness, if that weren’t already obvious enough.” Luz chuckles sadly again and rests her head on her pulled-up knees. “Hard to shake that when you were singled out and called a weirdo all the time growing up.”

Willow doesn’t respond immediately, and Luz can’t help but wonder what they’re thinking.

“No, I don’t think it’s stupid.” They settle on. “That’s just the annoying little intrusive voice in your head telling you that you’re not worth caring for. I hear it too, sometimes, but… but then I remember there are people that care about me, truly care about me, and if they care about me, then maybe I should care about myself too, y’know?”

They trail off for a second, and Luz looks over to notice Willow on the verge of tears themself. Luz slowly reaches up to dry their eyes, but Willow takes her hand before it can touch anything else. They stare straight at Luz, and she can’t help but gaze back as Willow clutches her hand tightly with their own.

“Don’t ever listen to that voice or let it make you feel like you’re not worth caring about, ‘cause it’s wrong. You are worth caring about and you deserve to feel like you don’t have to earn that from others. You’re a wonderful person and a wonderful friend, Luz, and I… I-I couldn’t ask for a better one. You mean the world to me.”

A single tear falls from Willow’s face and lands on Luz’ held hand. She sees Willow’s smiling face, the warmth it radiates sending a wave of emotion through her system, way more potent and real than any of the awful things she usually thinks about herself. For the first time in a while, she recognizes for certain that her friends love her, and not just because they’re supposed to or whatever, but because they deeply, truly care about her, in a way most others could never manage or would never bother to try.

It's an indescribable feeling.

“Th-Thanks, Willow, you- you mean a lot to me too. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” Luz mumbles, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t de- I-I mean, I’m really grateful that you care about me so much. And that you’re my friend. So…” she smiles lightly. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Luz.” Willow assures her. “I- er, we’ll always be here for you.”

With that, Willow lets go of Luz’ hand and opens their arms for a hug. The angle is kind of weird, but Luz finagles her way into Willow’s embrace and sinks into it, slowly but surely wrapping her own arms around them as well. It’s comforting, and it’s warm, and it’s… lovely.

“I know it doesn’t matter much, but… I hope Amity feels the same way.” Luz says with a sniffle.

“Why wouldn’t it matter?”

“I-I dunno, I mean… I have you, and Gus.” she reasons. “Maybe that’s enough for me?”

“Hey hey, you’re allowed to want people to be closer to you, Luz.”

“Maybe… I don’t know, i-it’s really hard to imagine Amity even wanting to be my friend after this. I kept things slow ‘cause I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but… now, I’ve done that anyway. Probably, anyway. I don’t know.”

Luz pulls away from the hug and starts to close in on herself, but a hand from Willow on her arm reminds her that she doesn’t need to face this alone. Soon enough, she’s baring her soul yet again.

“Willow, do you- do you know what it’s like to, uh… have feelings for someone, but… not be sure if they could ever like you back?” she asks carefully, fearfully. She’d like to think she already knows what Willow’s answer will be, but the sudden hint of melancholy in their voice throws that perception for a loop.

“Well, I… yeah, I do. It’s not easy to deal with it, but the only way to figure it out is to, um… just go for it. It’s scary, and it might not go the way you expect or want it to, but that’s pretty much the only healthy way to deal with those feelings, I think.”

Willow’s voice grows smaller with each word, but before Luz can question it, their positive aura returns, albeit a bit too quickly.

“I mean heck, Luz, you told me Amity tried to kiss you. Sounds like you’re not the only one with a case of the feelings to me.” they point out, giving Luz a light knock on the shoulder.

Though they’re trying their best to sound positive, there’s an undeniable sadness sitting underneath their voice that Luz can’t help but pick up on. She’s not as amazing at reading into someone as Willow is, but even she can tell that there’s something more to this strand of advice that they’re giving her. What it is, though, she has no idea, so she goes with it.

“I-I mean, yeah, if she was trying to… kiss me, then maybe there’s…”

“A chance?” Willow finishes.

Luz nods. She can’t deny it.

“Yeah. A chance.”

She looks over at Willow, whose tiny smile once again makes her feel safe and secure like a warm blanket surrounding her. Even if Amity does end up going her own way, as much as it would hurt, she knows for certain that she’ll always have Willow (and Gus) to talk to. Now, though, she has to figure out what to do next.

“I don’t, uh, really know what to do now.” Luz admits, before clarifying. “With Amity, I mean.”

Willow nods. “It’s okay to not know right this second. You have time, I know Amity will wait for you. Just… don’t go too big, and don’t make her wait too long, y’know?”

“Right. I’ll… figure something out. Soon.” Luz says quietly. She realizes then that she doesn’t even know if Amity will come back to the dorm tonight, or if she’ll come back this week, or at all…

“… Willow?”

“Hm?”

“Can I…” she asks meekly, “Can I get another hug? Please?”

They nod. “Of course you can.”

Barely two seconds pass before the two once again find their arms wrapped around each other. Luz burrows her head into the crook of Willow’s neck and feels just a tiny bit of the tension in her muscles relax. Willow takes the opportunity to run their hand through Luz’ hair, and Luz considers stopping them, but once she realizes it’s the least awful she’s felt in the last few hours, she doesn’t say anything. She simply relaxes into her friend’s touch.

Minutes pass, yet they don’t leave each other’s side. That is, until the door swings open.

“Heyo, back with dinner! Man, sooo many people want their after-class pizza, it-“

Luz looks up to find Gus standing just a few feet into the room, two pizza boxes in hand. She feels a little awkward, being this close to Willow as Gus stares at them with a bewildered expression, but it isn’t long before he breaks the silence with a laugh.

“Damn, what’d I miss while I was gone?”

“Oh, just a bit of an impromptu therapy session.” Willow half-jokes.

Luz chuckles. “Nothing to see here, Gustopher.” It’s a lighthearted joke, but she swears she sees a tiny glimmer of sadness cross over Willow’s face when she says that, though Willow once again begins to move before she can call it out.

“It’s… probably nothing.”

“Were you able to get it?” Willow asks Gus. Luz cocks a brow.

“Took a bit o’ convincing, but there’s nothing demanding for the manager can’t accomplish.” he responds with a devious glint in his eye.

“Gus, you didn’t…”

“Kidding, kidding.” He laughs again, setting the two boxes side-by-side on his bed. “Nah, they whipped it right up for ya. Might not be, uh, everyone’s cup of tea, buuut businesses gotta business, ya feel?”

“Lucky for me, then.” Willow says with a grin. Then they turn around to look at Luz again, and any hint of something more is lost under their smile. “You want some, Luz? Since you’re here, and all.”

“Oh, uh, yeah! Well, provided it’s not too weird…”

“Says the biggest weirdo this side o’ the Rockies.” Gus jokes as he flings the boxes open.

Luz bounds off the couch without a second thought and waits for him to turn around before pulling him into a noogie. He tries to shove her off, but they’re both giggling all the same. She releases him, then looks down at the pizzas laid out on his bed. One looks fairly normal, just plain cheese at first glance, but the other…

“Is that sausage and… pickles?” Luz asks, half in disbelief. “Or maybe they’re peppers…?”

“Sure is!” Willow chimes. “It’s a little weird at first glance, but it’s really tasty. Wanna try?”

“I dunno…”

“C’mon Luz, not afraid of a little risk now, are ya?” Gus supposes with a cocked brow and an L-shaped hand gesture on his chin.

Luz crosses her arms coolly. “No, I’m just worried it’ll ruin pizza for me forever.” she jokes back. All three of them laugh.

“Here, I’ll go grab us some plates, and you can take the leap.” Willow says with a smile.

For the third time, Luz swears there’s something underneath Willow’s pleasant demeanor that she can’t quite place, but once again they’re walking away before she can say anything. As Willow grabs the three of them some plates and napkins, Luz tries to figure out what could be sitting in their head, but everything comes up blank.

Soon enough, the three of them are digging into their pizzas, Luz pretty much being peer-pressured into taking a bite of Willow’s… concoction. It’s not bad, truthfully, much less difficult to get through than she initially thought it’d be. Granted, she doesn’t quite get it, but it doesn’t stop her from taking a second slice, if not so that she doesn’t end up only eating Gus’ pizza on him. They didn’t exactly plan on having a guest tonight, after all.

Sometime into their meal, she feels her phone buzz. While Willow and Gus chat, she doesn’t hesitate to pull it out despite her reluctance earlier, and clicks it on to find another Wizcord notification. She freezes up for a second, eyes looking anywhere but the screen, but when she inevitably does look back, she finds it isn’t from Amity, but her groupchat with her older siblings. She doesn’t read the preview of the message, not yet since it’s still too early in her mind, but that at least confirms Amity is somewhere safe.

The three of them polish off most of the pizzas, being sure to save some as leftovers, and resign themselves to the couch for a movie or two. Not much time passes before Luz finds herself growing tired, the physical toll of everything that’s happened finally catching up to her. She struggles to stay awake, but soon enough, her head is falling onto Willow’s shoulder.

In her semi-conscious state, her thoughts drift back to Amity and how she might be holding up. If it’s anything like how she herself has been doing, chances are Amity’s going through it. Hopefully once she apologizes, however she’s going to do it, they can at least be friends. Truly, that’s all she wants right now: Amity’s friendship. Anything else would just be a bonus.

Deep down, though, they’re not really just bonuses. Amity was the only person brave enough to be her friend at their high school, the only person she can share her interest in Azura with, the only one of her friends who plays an instrument, the only one who Luz has ever felt gets her and her weird specific interests. Willow and Gus love her, and she loves them, but Amity- Amity is just different, different enough that she’s done something to Luz’ heart.

She wants to tell Amity just how much she wants to be with her, how much she values their relationship, whatever it is. She wants Amity to know just how much she means to her, not just because they’re friends, but because Amity is special, and she deserves to know just how special she is. Amity deserves so much more than what she can give her, and she can only hope Amity understands how much she cares for her, in every conceivable way.

As she drifts off to sleep, those three familiar little words float through her head:

“I love you.”

Notes:

hi!!! uh, i’m so so sorry this chapter took so long. i hit some MAJOR writer’s block (or burnout idk) that really crippled me, that and the finale airing and me writing twitter threads on every episode and a sudden and violent jori/victorious hyperfixation and so so much was goin on at once and well you know how it is lol. also god DAMN this is a beefy chapter. i uhhhhh… had a lot to say here, yeah. the next chapters won’t be this long, i swear/hope.

also i can’t promise we’ll be on a schedule for these last three chapters and any subsequent works in this AU (even if i do have more plans for it), especially since this STUPID jori/victorious disease simply will not go away so uhhhh there’s that. but definitely more owl house stuff, especially now that the show’s over and I have everything I need to start writing post-canon stuff. fun!!!

also, THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING AND STICKING WITH ME!!!!! this fic recently hit 5000 hits and 150 kudos and that’s… so insane to me. very few things i’ve made have ever gotten this much attention, so i seriously cannot thank you all enough for reading my silly lil fanfic shenanigans. it means the world to me to know that people out there have found something they really enjoy in my writing, and i intend to keep writing as much as i can in the future. thank you all so much for being here.

and check out red’s page too!!! i seriously can’t thank her enough for betareading this, she’s such an inspiration to me and to have her actually help out with getting this chap out is absolutely wild. i can't thank her enough for her input and revisions and suggestions. so go read Doused My Heart with Gasoline and Threw Me a Match now go do it!!!!!

yatta yatta collectathon, see you soon at some point for ch18!

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Chapter 18: club social

Summary:

Luz attempts to apologize to Amity, before falling back on the twins for help.

Notes:

oh my god where did the time go. uhhhh well a few things happened in the middle of writing this chapter. first, i decided to leave twitter and ended up writing 7000 words as to why and that ended up taking up most of my brain space for two weeks or so. then I fell back into my train simulator addictions for a bit and that kinda sidetracked me (lmao im so funny). then i kinda fell off TOH but now im rewatching it and here we are. more details in the closing notes.

anyway here’s ch18, four months late! wahoo!! things happen!!! surely this is where things finally turn around for our gal pals!!!!

… content warning for (contextually-unintentional) underage drinking.

Track 24: Countdown by King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard + Mild High Club
Track 25: Club Social by Vacations

*No track playing*

The air in the dorm is brisk and still as she slowly comes to next morning. She can feel her entire body screaming at her to go back to sleep. It’s sunny, but she can’t see the sun in the window, so it must be pretty late. A bleary-eyed glance at the clock on Willow’s desk confirms it’s almost 11:30. Considering how poorly she slept, it makes sense that she’d find herself waking up this late, but she curses herself all the same for it.

It wasn’t entirely her head’s fault for keeping her from sleeping; at least three or four times, her stomach had basically demanded she make a trip to the bathroom. Eating cheesy pizza while also unpacking caustic mental stress has slowly but surely become one of her worse decisions. It’s easier to digest whenever she thinks about Amity, though.

She should be feeling better, especially after Willow’s incredibly kind and helpful words, but she finds herself a blank slate yet again. Willow’s words won’t magically make her a better person; they can’t just say something and automatically make Luz good again. She has to be better, no matter what it takes. The first step to that is making things right with Amity, but the thought of even talking to her contorts her guts in a way that dairy could never accomplish.

She has to face Amity eventually, though, and she knows that. It’ll be difficult, but she has to do it. She just… needs some time to prepare. And wake u-

“Oh slick, you’re awake! Was kinda scared you were gonna sleep all day.” she hears Gus’ pleasant voice call from the distance. No one besides themselves would say something like “slick” in casual conversation. Though he says it with a chuckle, there’s actual concern hidden beneath the letters.

Luz, who is moreso 'conscious' than 'awake', rubs the sleep out of her eyes and sits up. Gus is standing in front of the open door, one hand on the knob. His messenger bag is slung over his shoulder, and a half-eaten toaster waffle is sitting in his other hand.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Luz mumbles as she sits up. “Running late?”

“Only by a minute or so.” Gus replies as he trundles back into the room proper.

Luz cocks a brow. “Then why are you…?” she asks slowly.

Gus shrugs and speaks softly. “I dunno, I want to make sure you’re, y’know… chilled out. And I want to apologize for storming in yesterday while you and Willow were talking.”

It’s weird for Luz to see Gus so reserved. He doesn’t have any reason to be, as far as she knows, but it’s evident from the way he talks to the fact that he won’t meet Luz’ gaze that he seems uneasy.

“I’m, y’know, better, I suppose.” she half-truths through her downtrodden expression. Gus doesn’t take the bait.

“Willow told me a little bit about your guys’ chat.” He blurts out, taking in a deep breath. “They, uh, figured you’d be cool with it, but I-I wanted to let you know anyway.”

Luz’ expression lifts. They’re both so considerate of her, even when they don’t need to be.

“Aw, Gus, that’s okay. I’m totally fine with it. You’re my friend too, y’know.” she reminds him.

“Yeah, that’s true.” he replies with another soft chuckle. His expression fades again soon after, however. “Are you sure you’re alright, though?”

Luz can only stare at the floor. Her mind drifts back to her roommate, and soon enough she can feel tears forming in the sides of her eyes.

“Hey, hey.“ Gus says while sitting next to her on the couch. “It’s alright if you’re still working things out. We’re here for you no matter what.” He takes the opportunity to pat her on the shoulder in an attempt to console her. Lucky for her, it works.

“Yeah… thanks, Gus. I really appreciate it.” she mutters through a sniffle. “You should probably get to class though.”

The ‘attempt’ at humor earns her another tiny laugh from Gus. “You right, you right, I should. But only if you’re alright with it.”

“I wouldn’t want to hold you here.”

“Luz, I’ll stay here all day if you need me to.” he states. “Hell, I’ll even call Willow and pull them out of class too. Just watch me!”

“Noooo, they’ll kill me if I pull them out of algebra!” Luz quips. Gus’ laugh grows.

Eventually, she convinces Gus to move along to class. She turns down his offer of lunch, not because she won’t be hungry in an hour, but because she can’t help but feel like she’s eaten up enough of his and Willow’s time being a sad-sack. Sure, they really would drop everything to help her, but she knows it’s unfair to them. They’ve helped her more than enough.

What she really needs to do is figure out what to do with Amity and their… situation. Now.

*Play Track 24: Countdown*

A few minutes after Gus leaves, Luz drags herself off the couch and brushes some stray wrinkles off her clothes. It takes her a minute to find her phone buried in the couch cushions, but she pulls it out and clicks it on. A flood of emotions and feelings course through her, accompanied by a slight wave of nausea. Despite this, she presses on.

“It’s ridiculous”, she tells herself, “to be so scared of a few words on a screen.”

She really wants to find something else to do. You know, Willow and Gus would probably appreciate having their beds made or their garbage taken ou-

“No, Luz.” she announces to the empty dorm. “We have to do this now or we’ll never do it.”

Willow may not be able to magic her into a better person, but she sure as hell can try herself. A sudden jolt of confidence and determination (and some more nausea) urge her to press on. The muscle movements are burned into her memory, and soon enough, she’s staring down at the messages Amity sent her after she disappeared.

witchchick128 (Yesterday at 7:12): please come back

witchchick128 (Yesterday at 7:20): i’m sorry

It’s… better than expected, realistically. Equal parts apologetic and hopeless, if her own experience with typing those words out to “friends” who would never speak to her again are enough to use as evidence for her assumptions.

She wants to tell Amity she’ll be back in a few minutes, that she just needed some air and a chance to cool off.

She wants to tell Amity she’s sorry for abandoning her again.

She wants to tell Amity how much she misses her.

She wants to tell Amity she loves her.

The words are never typed.

On the sidebar sits another DM waiting to be opened: the twins’. She opens it with a sigh.

ED_RIC (Yesterday at 9:44): hey, can we talk? whenever you have some time lmk

Luz’ confidence has all but disappeared by now. Unlike with her roommate-friend-something, though, the reply falls through her fingers like sand.

luzura (Today at 11:43): sorry im so late. ik youre at work but im ready now if you are

It’s a spineless, milquetoast opener, but that’s all it needs to be. Without fail, Edric responds within seconds, Emira following moments later.

ED_RIC (11:44): no worries lol. not like im doing anything here

EM_IRA (11:44): as always

ED_RIC (11:44): :(

EM_IRA (11:45): anywho mittens is back at the apartment, she told us what happened. were not mad at you btw, and neither is she. shes just u

Luz tenses up. It takes a lot to type anything else.

luzura (11:46): shes just what???

EM_IRA (11:46): sorry hit send on accident. she’s upset but not really at you. she was more confused abt it i think

EM_IRA (11:46): ed no shut up stop typing you ass

ED_RIC (11:47): what????

EM_IRA (11:47): ik what you were abt to say. maybe respect mittens’ privacy a bit

ED_RIC (11:47): youre no fun anymore but ok

Luz can’t help but wonder what Edric was about to reveal. Titan only knows what Amity said to them last night, but if it were anything like what she said to Willow, she’d prefer Ed didn’t spill it.

“Better to not dwell on it.”

luzura (11:50): i feel really awful for running away on her. im glad shes not mad at me but honestly she should be, ive been terrible to her

ED_RIC (11:51): dont beat yourself up over it luz. mittens is tough and she knows you got overwhelmed

EM_IRA (11:51): i promise she isn’t mad at you, she’s just worried. she’ll be happy to know you’re alright

Luz’ mind flashes back to the near-accident last night; she shivers, knowing what could’ve happened.

luzura (11:53): yeah. i still need to find a way to make up for it though, i don’t even know where to begin

EM_IRA (11:54): actually, we had an idea for how you could apologize to amity

ED_RIC (11:54): its not really conventional but its an idea. or a plan idk

luzura (11:55): please tell me it’s not a prank or ill kill both of you.

ED_RIC (11:55): i said plan not prank didnt i??? focus luz sheesh

EM_IRA (11:55): be quiet ed this is supposed to be serious ffs

ED_RIC (11:55): LUZ MADE A JOKE FIRST

luzura (11:55): i wasnt kidding. we’re still out of eggs. /srs

ED_RIC (11:55): you seriously havent bought more since then? jfc

EM_IRA (11:56): both of you shut up. do you want to know what we have lined up or not luz

Luz pauses and thinks carefully for once. The twins never reveal their entire hand at once, nor do their ideas typically end up being successful. And Willow told her specifically not to go over-the-top; chances are Amity would be fine with a simple apology and then they can go their separate ways or whatever. On the other hand, she can’t help but feel like Amity deserves more than that. She deserves the world, a world where she and Luz aren’t constantly playing guessing games with one another.

Whether it’s the correct choice or not, Luz types out her answer.

luzura (12:00): okay ill listen. but it needs to be, like, feasible, nothing extravagant

EM_IRA (12:02): don’t worry luz, it’s nothing huge, i swear

ED_RIC (12:02): yeah weve basically got tge whole thing set up already lmao

luzura (12:02): ok… what is it

ED_RIC (12:03): a party!!!! :D

luzura (12:03): oh my titan. /neg

EM_IRA (12:03): it’s not a party ed you dumbshit

EM_IRA (12:05): it’s a get-together with a few friends where there happens to be music and drinks

luzura (12:05): so a party

ED_RIC (12:05) so a party

EM_IRA (12:05): god damn it

luzura (12:07): i should just bake her an effing apology cake. this is dumb

EM_IRA (12:07): “effing” say the real word coward

ED_RIC (12:07): tHiS iS sErIoUs cHaT

EM_IRA (12:07): stfu ed ill tell your supervisor you choked on a skittle

ED_RIC (12:07): OH CMON

Luz groans. The following silence must mean the dorm doesn’t find them too funny right now either.

luzura (12:08): i dont know if this is a good idea. i dont want to freak amity out even more

EM_IRA (12:09): don’t worry luz. its not gonna be a huge thing, just you amity us and a few others. and when the moments right, you two can finish the dance you started

ED_RIC (12:09): its literally the perfect plan

ED_RIC (12:09): and we wont watch if you dont want us to :P

Luz leans back into the soft touch of the couch and sighs.

“Is this really the best option I have? Well, no, it isn’t. It’s a horrible idea. But…”

She’s always been way better at showing people what she means rather than telling them. Her words are sloppy and mistimed and poorly-handled and they always end up making things worse. It’d be so much easier for her to show Amity how she feels than tell her, and the twins are giving her the opportunity to do exactly that. Then again, the twins could probably sell water (and a shark) to a drowning man, and it sure feels like she’s sinking deeper and deeper the more she overthinks how to just apologize to her roommate-friend-whatevertheyare.

She shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t. She needs more time. She can come up with something else, something better. Something less likely to implode on her and finally, finally convince Amity to give her up for someone better, someone less Luz.

Even so…

luzura (12:20): alright. alright. but my threat still stands. anything goes wrong, ajd you two are dead.

EM_IRA (12:21): point taken. we’ll make it work.

ED_RIC (12:21): bet ok cool

“This is so dumb. I’m so dumb. I hope it works.”

~~~~

Having turned down his offer for lunch, she meets up with Gus and Willow for dinner. Revealing the twins’ plan goes about as well as one would expect.

Willow was not receptive to the twins’ plan. Luz, being in no position to argue (because Willow, so far, has been right about everything), doesn’t even bother trying to come up with a reason to give them. Willow sees right through her, but their attempts to talk her down only bolster Luz’ desire to go through with it. Truly, though, she doesn’t have an explanation.

To her surprise, though, even Gus seems put off by Luz’ lack of a stated motive. He barely makes an effort to conceal his distaste for the twins, something ironic considering she would’ve expected them all to get along really well. Seemingly, Willow has told him enough for him to know just as well as they do that this is a stupid, stupid idea.

She leaves dinner feeling both more determined and more scared than she was earlier.

Now it’s almost 6:30 and Luz is rolling up to the Blight twins’ apartment building half an hour late. Begrudgingly, she had stopped at the supermarket and picked up hot dog buns since Edric decided to forget them. What was meant to be a ten-second exploit ended up being closer to twenty minutes because she chose what she thought was the shortest line only for some lady ahead of her to start arguing with the cashier over the change she was owed and by the time Luz had decided to find another line, people had lined up behind her and asking them to scoot a bit so she could get past them was too tall an order.

Anyway, now she’s here and ready to smack Edric upside the head with those buns he’s definitely going to pay her for, minimum wage paycheck be damned.

Luz realizes she’s never been in an apartment building before. She quietly slinks onto the elevator and heads up to the twins’ floor; she’d take the stairs but them living on the sixth floor (and her complete lack of energy or sense of existence right now) killed that idea before it was alive. What greets her when the doors open is a large sheet of white paper listing off grievances the tenants have lobbied against the landlord, with big red text at the bottom reading ‘MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE THEN’.

Moving on past that wonderful display, she walks slowly down the very beige corridor to the ninth apartment from the elevator. Only when she sees the number tacked onto the apartment does she realize it: floor six, apartment nine.

“I bet they picked it on purpose.”

She raps her knuckles lightly on the door; within ten seconds is being shuffled into the dingy one-bedroom apartment that the twins affectionately call ‘where they subsist’.

“Yeah, it’s not much of a looker, but it gets the job done.” Emira clarifies.

“Just don’t try and run the sink if someone’s showering.” Edric warns soon after.

“Right…” Luz replies slowly.

*Play Track 25: Club Social (set to loop)*

Music emanates from the stereo system near the sink. It’s not exactly dance-worthy, but it’s better than dull silence and the twins’ voices.

She soon notices Amity isn’t even there (yet, as far as she knows), and it’s just as comforting as it is upsetting. She wants to turn back and leave, but just as she’s about to, a familiar voice stops her in her tracks.

“Hey, how is it that we both keep turning up to the same events?” Viney calls to her before she can run out the door. Looks like she isn’t leaving just yet.

“Ah, yeah, that happens, I guess…” Luz answers lamely and turns around, train of thought thoroughly derailed. If Viney notices her lack of enthusiasm, she certainly doesn’t make a deal out of it. Viney seems less than energetic herself.

“Try not to break the coffee machine if you use it, I spent an hour fixing it last week.” Jerbo, who’s also here for some reason, cautions her in his nasally, monotone way.

“Oh come on Jerbo, I know you had a great time.” Edric… teases? Jerbo rolls his eyes, but doesn’t verbally object.

Suddenly, this whole thing makes a lot more sense.

“Uh, Ed, Em, can I talk to you in the, uh… kitchen? Or its equivalent?” Luz asks, pointing at the fake-marble countertop in the corner with her free hand, before adding “Alone, please?”.

Viney and Jerbo, taking the hint, wander into the tiny bedroom for the time being and shut the door, maybe to talk about how awkward this is for them too.

The twins lean up against the countertop, forcing Luz to take center stage in the middle of their living room.

“Is this what I think it is?” she asks, pointing over her shoulder at the fold-out plastic table with a red plastic tablecloth and two differently-shaped bowls full of what’s probably an edible substance.

“What do you think it is?” Emira tosses the question back.

Luz groans. “I think this is supposed to be a triple-date. Or is this just what adult parties are like after college?” There’s a hint of genuine curiosity in her question.

“Geez, way to call us out like that.” Edric deadpans. Emira knocks him in the elbow.

“I’ll have you know we spent a lot of time setting this thing up.” she counters. “Do you know how hard it is to turn a fifty-square-foot apartment into something worthy of having others over in? It’s very annoying.”

“I’m not criticizing your choice of… decorations,” Luz deflects as she stares at the ‘HAPPY ANNIVERSARY’ banner strung up on the cupboards, “I’m just really weirded out.”

“Coming from you, that’s quite the statement.” Edric quips, earning him another blow from his less-than-enthused twin.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s good enough.” Emira concludes.

Luz sighs and stares at the floor. “You really think this will be good enough for Amity?”

When she does look back at the twins, they’re exchanging another one of their telepathic twin glances or whatever, deadly silent and just as off-putting as ever.

“Amity’s gonna have to like it, because it’s the best we could do.” Emira eventually answers. Her voice is thick with something Luz can only place as genuine concern that Amity will, in fact, not like it. The feeling that the twins’ own lack of confidence leaves her with feels like a bullet to the chest.

“Yeah, I guess she will.” Luz responds dejectedly. “When will she be here?”

“Probably sometime around eight.” Edric answers, hopefully correctly. “That’s when we told her to be here, anyway.”

“Right.” Emira confirms. Luz nods. “In the meantime, help yourself to a drink. We have pizzas coming around seven, and hopefully Ed can find enough money to give the poor sap a tip.”

“I probably have a penny or two lying around the bedroom. I guess I should- HEY, you two can come out now! We’re done conspiring!” Edric yells towards Viney and Jerbo’s occupancy. They trundle out, looking slightly less blankly disinterested than they did a few minutes ago, and Luz can only wonder what they discussed.

Then she remembers the bag of buns in her hand and catches Edric before he can run off.

“Hey, wait, you’re paying me for these too.” she reminds him. After another cursory glance around the apartment, though, she doesn’t see any food that would normally go on a bun. “What are these even for?”

“Oh they’re not for tonight, I just wanted them for the week but didn’t want to go get them.” he states proudly, as if he’s just succeeded in getting Luz’ to tell him her debit card number and the three digits on the back. He runs off before she can hit him in the head with them.

With few options left, Luz makes herself comfortable next to the punch bowls. They bowls are different, but the liquid inside them the exact same color. There’s a small slip of paper next to each one, the left one reading ‘ALCOHOL’ and the right one ‘NON-ALCOHOL’.

It smells like punch of some variety, vaguely fruity and definitely carbonated. She takes one of the red plastic cups and takes a few ladlefuls of punch, inspecting it once again for anything unsavory or metallic or inedible. And she nearly spills it all on the stained carpet when the stereo starts blaring at a much louder volume than it was a second ago. She shuts her eyes, swiftly puts the cup down, and covers her ears.

“Sorry!” She barely notices Edric call from inside the bedroom. When she opens her eyes and sees him comes back, there’s a busted stereo remote in his hand and an annoyed expression on his face.

“If the neighbors didn’t hate us already, they’re definitely gonna murder us now!” Emira loudly half-jokes. She looks like she wants to murder Edric herself. Viney and Jerbo roll their eyes from the other corner; Luz can’t tell if they’re smiling or grimacing.

It takes a solid minute for Edric to stop beating the crap out of the remote and instead just lover the volume knob on the stereo system set up on the counter. By that point, Luz is pretty sure her ears have been permanently damaged by the prolonged blaring of the music.

“Maybe it’s a good thing Amity isn’t here yet. She would’ve run off faster than I did.”

With that thought, she finally tries the mystery punch. One sip of it reveals that, despite the questionable chemical makeup, it’s actually quite tasty. There’s definitely some ginger-ale or soda of some kind in it, but all it really adds is some bubbles that make it more difficult for her to drink it any faster than “one sip at a time”. At the very least it’s something to keep her occupied, which is always a good thing.

Edric manages to sweet-talk Jerbo into looking at the remote, and Emira fills the space next to Viney after fixing them both a drink from the alcoholic bowl. Luz returns to her own drink, taking note that it seems to taste better the more she sips it. There’s not much else to do, and by the time she thinks to ask what the plan is for the next hour, she’s going back for another cupful.

Both the twins are wrapped up in their own desperate affairs; it provides enough entertainment to keep Luz distracted for a bit. Edric’s attempts at flirting are usually met with a blank response or prolonged exhale from Jerbo, and while Emira seems to be more successful, Luz can’t help but think Viney’s laughs are more out of pity than swooning. Watching the twins, who typically look like they’re on top of the world, basically get stood up by their dates after said dates have already arrived is equal parts hilarious and sad.

She’s feeling better.

Eventually Luz goes back for a third drink. The more minutes that pass, the less awful she feels. She finally decides to put the twins out of their misery and easily weasels her way into their conversation, splitting the twins off from their ‘friends’ so she can talk to them.

It doesn’t take them long to start laughing and joking about work and how dreadful it is. They chat about Darius and his vacation to Florida of all places, and they share a few jokes at the twins’ expense when they’re not listening in. Luz can’t help but have fun talking to her coworkers outside of work, no matter how small the talk is; they’re just nice to be around. And she can only imagine how the twins feel, losing their prospective partners to the only one of them not old enough to drink yet. It doesn’t bother her though.

After some more chatter, they pull her aside to check in. Luz finds it a little difficult to find her footing.

“See, we told you this’d go well!” Emira beams. It immediately puts Luz off; Emira doesn’t seem at all weirded out that Luz just knows her date, which could only mean-

“Wait, did- did you know I knew them?” Luz asks incredulously. “There’s no wa-“

“Of course we did, dummy.” Edric answers. “We figured you’d relax a bit if you had some other friends here too. And Amity refused to give us your other friends’ numbers so we had to work with what we had. Plus, y’know, we invited them here as our… yeah. You caught us.”

“Huh, small world. Y’know, you guys put a lot of thought into this, more than I woulda expected.” Luz says as she finishes off her third cup with a hiccup and a chuckle. “Oh, ‘scuse me.”

Something in Edric and Emira’s expressions shift at the sound. She cocks a brow. “What?” she attempts to say, but it comes out more like a muddled “whuh”.

Emira laughs, but it doesn’t sound right. “It’s, uh, not supposed to do that.” she mumbles towards Edric, while pointing at Luz’ cup.

“What, give you the hiccups? I dunno, maybe it’s the, uh, ginger ale you put in it. Makes it really bubbly, it’s like… weird soda.” Luz states analytically.

“Wait, we didn’t put any ginger ale… Ed, you labelled the punches correctly, right?” Emira asks, without turning around to face him as he eyes remain locked on Luz.

“I thought I did.” he says nonchalantly before checking the two slips of paper. “Yeah, the one on the left is the alcoholic punch, the right one is non-alcoholic.”

Luz’s droopy gaze drifts up to on Emira, who’s now in the middle of a wicked facepalm. “Ed, you absolute dipshit, the right one is the alcoholic one!” she exclaims, throwing Luz off-balance. “No wonder we’re all pathetically sober right now, Luz has been drinking our punch!”

Luz giggles. “Oh, that mus’ be why I’m feeling so not awful ri’ now!”

“Fuck’s sake, Ed. I hope to god you didn’t put any expensive hard stuff in there. But maybe if you had, she would’ve actually realized it was spiked before she-!” Emira groans, before attempting to compose herself. “Luz, how much did you drink?” she asks slowly.

“I dunno, like, uhhh, three cups or suh? It’s pretty good shtuff actually, verrry fruity.” she says absolutely totally normally, as normal people do.

“God damnit.” Emira murmurs. Edric, who after realizing his mistake had fallen deathly silent, taps Emira on the shoulder and the two start whispering.

Luz, meanwhile, is going back for another cup, though she doesn’t notice Viney quickly swap the two bowls. Her eyesight starts to get a little blurry, and the grip on her cup wanes every now and again. She stands there, occasionally sipping her drink, wondering what the twins are arguing about. Something stupid probably.

“Hey, Luz, you should sit down. Before you, like… fall over.” Jerbo reminds her.

“Oh yeah,” she says through another hiccup, “I like sitting!”

Viney throws a rickety wooden chair under Luz, and she falls into it with all the grace of a ‘this is my first time getting drunk’ college student. She watches Ed and Em go back and forth for another length of some time. When they come back, they’re smiling.

“Gimme the good news, docs!” Luz chimes, flashing a finger gun. The twins laugh awkwardly.

“Uh, how do you feel, Luz?” Edric ponders, probably not expecting a good response.

“I feel great!” she exclaims, throwing her arms out. “Y’know, this’s exactly what I needed I think, cuz, uhhh, this week kinda effin’ sucked. But now it’s fine again!”

Emira gives her another rough smile. “Well, uh, that’s good, but…”

“But what?” Luz asks, looking more like a sad puppy than ever.

“Well, y’know, this isn’t really what we had planned, and it probably wouldn’t be good if-“

“If what, I drove home? No duh, I went through enuffa that DARE stuff’n school y’know, I wouldin’ get in my own car right now to like, go save Gustavo from uhhh beehive.” she mumbles, half-coherently. The twins probably get it.

“That’s, uh, not exactly it.” Edric mutters. “It’s seven-thirty, and-“

“Oh man, it’s almos’ bedtime isn’ it! Yous’ got anyyy good jammies, preferably otter-ish ones cuz they’re my favorite? And like, a spare bed or summin’ for lil’ ol’ me?”

“Uh, no, we don’t have any… otter jammies. Or a spare bed.” Emira reveals. Luz pouts and nearly spills her drink for like the tenth time.

“I could take her home if you want.” Viney speaks up. Luz looks over at her and smiles like a goofball, nearly falling off the chair in the process.

Emira shakes her head. “No, no, I wouldn’t ask you to do that. I’ll take her.”

Edric objects. “I’ll take her, you should be here when Am-“

“Are you guys gunna lemme have s’more punch soon or nah?” Luz nearly pleads. She really misses the flavor and the little bubbles all of a sudden.

“Luz, we’re trying to fix this, just sit still and-“

“C’mon yuh losers, I’m fine! Another drink prolly won’t kill me, I dun’ think. Actually I think I’m holdin’ my alcohol really well, Mamá always tol’ me I wouldin’ be able to but Eda always said-“

Her drunken ramblings are interrupted by the creaking of an opening door.

Everyone pauses and stares as Amity walks in, dressed in a really pretty long black skirt, and a dark purple sweater that matches her minty hair way better than it has any right to. Her tall laced boots are polished to perfection, and her eyes and lips are done up in a beautiful shade of black to match her nails.

Luz laughs. “Oh yeah I was supposed to like, dance with Amity to, uh… make her happy again? I think?” she slurs, scratching her chin as she stumbles forward but somehow catches herself.

A dreary “What…?” is all Amity can spit out.

“Hi, Mittens…” the twins say meekly in unison. Viney and Jerbo silently move back to the bedroom and shut the door.

“Gosh, Mittens is like, the cuuutest name! Heehee, cutest name for the cutest person!” Luz giggles, looking back and taking in just how beautiful her friend is.

Amity’s face, however, looks more freaked out than adorable. She doesn’t say anything.

“Look, Amity, we, uh, didn’t exactly mean for this to-“ the twins start.

Amity doesn’t let them finish. “I can’t believe it. She actually came.” she blurts out, true shock coating each word. “I honestly thought she was going to turn you guys down. Hell, I was hoping she would turn you down. ‘Cause I knew something like this would happen.”

“What’s wrong Amity? I’m totally- hic, fine!”

Amity drops her handbag on the floor and wipes her face with her hand. “No, Luz, you’re not fine. You’re drunk, and I can only imagine why.”

“Edric messed up when he labelled the punch bowls. Because he’s a dumbshit, as always.” Emira grumbles.

“Maybe you should’ve done it then, if you had so little faith in me!” Edric shoots back. Emira raises her fist, but Edric doesn’t back down.

“Both of you, shut up.” Amity commands. “You’ve done enough. More than enough.”

Luz can feel her eyelids getting heavy. “Amity, I-“

“Luz, please, just sit down.” Emira pleads from behind her. Luz waves her off, but it has all the energy of a cat half-asleep in a box. The dim lighting in the apartment doesn’t help.

“Man, when did it get so late?” Luz wonders out-loud, accompanied by a long yawn. She can feel her legs growing tired, but she can’t just fall asleep now, she still has to do something with Amity, but she’s tired and maybe Amity would be okay with waiting a bit longer…

“Ed, grab the chair!” she barely hears Amity shout before blacking out.

Notes:

hi hi!!! wow, uh, it’s been a while. again. i’m really sorry, i sorta kinda fell off my TOH hyperfixation after quitting twitter cold-turkey due to some… events in the fandom. i’m not gonna talk about it here, i already wrote out a whole 7000 word google doc on that front (which i won’t link here but you can find on my now-dead twitter acct lol).

so full disclosure, i’m still not “back into” this hyperfix proper. I’m rewatching the show with a friend right now but we’re only seven episodes or so in so it’s early. tbh i had plans for a continuation and maybe a spinoff or two of this fic but honestly? i’m kinda burnt out on this one. i still really love this fic because it’s my first big attempt at writing something like this (and I do legitimately enjoy re-reading it myself lmao), but there are other things i want to write. whether i’ll actually write them remains to be seen, but mark my words, i WILL finish this fic by the end of the year.

oh yeah, this chapter! uhhhh yeah lol. i hope you weren’t expecting everything to wrap up all hunky-dory just yet because of course it can’t lmao. im kinda worried i ended up dragging this fic on for too long and lumity prolly shoulda kissed like a year ago but hey, we’re almost there i swear. and i didn't lie, this one's shorter! it's only 6000 or so words instead of 8000! hooray! :')

thank you all so much for reading this, I can only hope these last three chapters are a satisfying conclusion to this novice’s first (and hopefully not last) long-form fic. the support you’ve shown me through this is really what keeps me wanting to write more; without yous i prolly wouldn’t have made it past like chapter 8 of this, so thank you so much. <3

see you soon (hopefully for real this time i’m so sorry again) for the penultimate chapter!!!

Chapter 19: are you bored yet?

Summary:

Stuck in the dorm with Amity watching over her, Luz runs out of time.

Notes:

i swear this chapter is only mostly melodramatic. we’re in the home stretch now.

Track 26: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows

*No track playing*

Every so often, she feels something in her haze. It barely registers, as if it’s only the memory of a feeling.

The gentle bounce of being carried on someone’s back.

Forces pushing her forward as a car slows to a stop.

A soft fwump as her back hits a mattress.

Ghostly brushes of lips on her forehead.

As soon as one is known, its sensation is gone again, replaced with the blackness of sleep.

~~~~

Luz shoots awake in her own bed, head throbbing and aching as if she were smacked with a baseball bat. The moment she’s up, she wants to go down again, but she can’t; her body is done being asleep.

The room is coated in a thick grey fog. The dreary grey sky outside locks the sun away as raindrops slide down the window panes. Barely any of the lights are on. She can barely see a few feet in front of her.

Rummaging can be heard from the kitchen area. The soft clinks of shifting glassware and ceramic mugs in the cabinets sound more like clanging bells against her eardrums. Any time one of them touches the counter, she wonders if it’s shattered. The low hum emanating from the coffee machine as it runs tap water through processed pellets of either tea or coffee – one of those, probably – reminds her of a hurricane she experienced years ago. She shuts her eyes.

Every sound is a nightmare, but the bouts of silence are deafening.

The worst sound of all is the tiny, nearly inaudible socked footsteps approaching her now that she’s awake. Despite her current state, she knows who it is. As she slept, her brain had played last evening on loop, from the moment she went all in on the wrong decision to the exchange where everything collapsed in front of her. Now, at 4:47pm the next day, she’s finally run out of time.

“Oh, good… you’re awake again.” a voice whirrs around Luz’ head.

Her head and throat are on fire.

“Drink this, it’s supposed to help.” the voice commands.

“Maybe I could pretend to be as-“

“And don’t pretend you’re asleep, I know you’re not.” the voice chides. “So… take it.”

Nowhere to go, and nothing to do. She might as well wake up.

So she blearily pushes herself off her side, sits up proper, and opens her eyes again. The imposing figure that is the one and only Amity Blight greets her, nearly shoving the mug into Luz’ face while forbidding eye contact.

“What… is it?” Luz asks, sniffing the pale brown drink. Something’s off.

“Coffee. For your hangover. And before you ask, it’s non-dairy creamer.”

Luz’ suspicions are confirmed. “Amity, you know I don’t like this… stuff.”

“Too bad, I don’t want you vomiting any more than you already have.” she mutters, sitting in the chair she had pulled up to Luz’ bed sometime overnight.

The vague feeling of cold ceramic on her fingertips and her hair being pulled back race to the forefront of Luz’ mind. Amity’s bitter tone makes more sense now, even if dairy wouldn’t exactly make her vomit.

“Ah, right.” she mutters. One sip of the bastardized brew is enough to make her gag, but it’s the best Amity’s going to give her.

“It’s the most I deserve.”

Amity sighs and lets her shoulders drop. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m okay, just… functional.” Luz jests humorlessly.

She swears she hears Amity snicker, but the spiky sound fades throughout the cold air of the dorm.

“When you’re ready to talk, let me know.” Amity says blankly, icily.

“I will.” Luz shivers.

Begrudgingly, she finishes the coffee. The watered-down beverage barely makes a dent in her headache or her sore throat. Eda had always sworn that was an old wives’ tale; Luz now knows she agrees with her, albeit three years ahead of schedule. Amity made it, though.

“Even now, she’s still doing things for you.”

“Thank you for making this for me. I really appreciate it.” she mumbles as she gingerly sets the mug down next to her radio.

“Hm?” Amity sounds. “Oh, yeah. You’re welcome.”

Minutes pass without another word said. Luz stares blankly at her roommate, trying to piece together what’s running through her head. Is it anger? Disgust? Ambivalence? Amity’s always been a master at keeping a straight face – for better or worse – and right now, it’s definitely for the worse.

“Why can’t she just yell at me and get it over with?”

“Hey, Amity?”

“Yes?”

“I’m… ready to talk now.”

“No you’re not.”

“Okay. Give me a minute to clean up.” Amity says quickly.

“Okay.”

Amity swipes the mug from Luz’ nightstand with a practiced motion and the poise of a dancer. She wants to cry when Amity keeps her distance. Less than three seconds, and Amity’s disappeared into the fog. Their eyes never meet.

Time passes. Too much time passes.

“… she’s not ready either.” Luz realizes.

“Alright.” Amity says, returning to Luz’ bedside with her head down after what feels like the longest hours of her life. “We’re both here, so… let’s talk.”

“Where do we start?” Luz asks, genuinely.

“Well,” Amity opens with, “How are you feeling?”

Luz wonders if she’s joking, but answers earnestly. “I, uh… feel pretty cruddy, honestly. My head’s still spinning a bit.”

“That happens.” Amity remarks nonchalantly, like she knows exactly what Luz is talking about.

“You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be fine in a bit, I think.”

“Yeah.”

Silence falls over them again. Neither is excited to break it.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Luz eventually murmurs.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” Amity brushes it off.

“You say that about everything…”

“It’s usually true.”

“I shouldn’t’ve gone through with it. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You were trying to apologize in your own Luz way.” Amity reasons. “I get it.”

“She must be so mad at you.”

“And I ended up making it a lot worse, didn’t I?”

Her roommate freezes momentarily. “Luz, I promise I’m not mad at you. I just…”

“What?” Luz asks when Amity doesn’t go on.

Another long pause.

“The twins have been blowing up my Wizcord with apology messages.” Amity remembers.

Luz sighs. “That’s good. ‘Cause if they weren’t, I’d go over there and do unspeakable things.” The humor doesn’t land this time.

“I didn’t expect you to actually go along with it. Their plan, I mean.” Amity adds. “Nothing they try to do ever works out for anyone involved.”

“It seemed like a… good idea at the time.” Luz replies, only half-earnestly.

“Better than just talking to me about it?” Amity probes.

“There it is.”

“I tried.” Luz reveals. “I couldn’t do it. Every time I tried to think of something to say, it just… faded. Nothing I could say was good enough.”

“Hearing from you at all would’ve been enough.” Amity says.

Luz’s head falls. “Yeah… I really dropped the ball on this one, didn’t I?” she quips. Amity remains stone-faced.

“One-for-three on the hyuks now, good going.”

“Luz, you can always talk to me about anything.”

“I know.” she answers meekly.

But Amity’s not satisfied yet. “Then why are you so afraid to?” she questions bluntly.

Luz looks down at the soft comforter keeping her warm. She knows the answer.

“I’m just… scared of losing you. A-As a friend.”

“You coward.”

“Luz…” Amity says with a sigh, reaching a hand – an olive branch – to her. Luz hesitates.

“I know I shouldn’t be, but… it’s hard. It’s really hard.”

“You know why. Tell her the truth.”

Amity pulls her arm back, curling it around her midsection. “Luz, we’re friends. I want to be friends.”

“But…”

“But,” Amity echoes her thoughts, “You need to be able to talk to me. We need to be able to know we can talk to one another about stuff like this.”

“Yeah… you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Amity consoles her, but the tone is acerbic. “I have trouble with it too, I always have.”

“But I’m supposed to be better.”

“I promise I’ll be better. I want to be better.” Luz mumbles.

“An empty threat.”

Amity nods. Luz exhales. The fog persists.

“Can we talk about the other other night?” Amity proposes. It sounds rushed.

“Don’t say no to her now.”

“We should, I think.” Luz replies.

Amity nods, but pauses before speaking again. “Did I… do something wrong?” she asks, staring at her legs, her voice thick with worry.

“She didn’t,” Luz knows.

“Oh, Amity, no, of course you didn’t. I-I just got overwhelmed, and…” she trails off.

Amity sighs. “And ran away.”

“And… ran away.” Luz parrots.

“Why?”

“Don’t lie to her.”

Luz struggles to speak. “I-I… I don’t- I mean, i-it’s not…”

“She won’t put up with this for much longer.”

Amity waits patiently.

A small, weak “I’m sorry.” is all Luz can eventually manage.

Amity lets out a small, barely noticeable sigh. “It’s okay.” She says with a nod, drumming her hand on her leg. “I probably shouldn’t interrogate you this soon after you woke up.”

Luz doesn’t respond. Amity gets up.

“Good job.”

“Wait, Amity, I-” Luz spits out, offering her hand this time. Amity quickly spins around, and with her arms crossed, looks Luz dead in the eyes.

“Yes?”

Luz freezes. The blankets are too warm. She’s suffocating. The words die in her chest.

Amity’s gaze drops to the floor again. Luz’ hand curls into a fist and falls onto her knee.

“It’s okay,” Amity repeats. “You’re not feeling good. W-We can talk more later, maybe.”

Something in her voice tells Luz that Amity doesn’t expect it to happen.

“You should probably eat something.” she continues effortlessly. “I doubt you have much in your stomach at this point.”

“Okay.” Luz answers routinely.

Amity walks back to the kitchen, opening the fridge to inspect its contents. Luz sits in her bed, tension and fear wrapping themselves around her like a snake. She’s been here before, so close to being able to let it out, but being stopped by her own uncertainties.

Just like that, everything is as it should be.

“You think you can handle some bacon and eggs?” Amity calls from the island.

Luz raises a brow. “When did we get…?”

“I went to the store this morning. We’re back to having a mostly-not-empty fridge.” Amity replies.

“She doesn’t need you.”

“Ah. Yeah, I could probably handle that.” Luz says before pausing and asking “Do you… want any help?”

Amity sees through her and denies her the opportunity to apologize in her own Luz way this time. “You should rest,” she says quietly, “I can handle the stove for a bit.”

Luz relents, muttering “Okay.” before shrinking in on herself again.

On the off chance neither of them felt like braving the carnival that is the campus café, Luz would typically scrounge up a meal from whatever they had in the fridge. It’d only be something simple and cheap, like fairly decent mangú con salami (made with hard salami because the supermarket, despite having real plantains, couldn’t be bothered to carry actual Dominican salami) when Luz felt like being fancy, or jazzed-up ramen noodles with chili oil and other random bits and bobs when she didn’t have the drive to actually cook something.

With the turns tabled and Luz being hungover, however, it’s Amity’s rare chance to make dinner. She watches as Amity pulls a carton of eggs and a plastic-coated pack of bacon out of the fridge, and she notices just how… silent Amity is. Other times, she’d catch Amity humming a tune or tapping her fingers on a hard surface when she was focused on something. Not today, though.

Luz frowns. She wants to scream. She wants to break the silence in any way she can, but nothing she can say would ever be enough. Amity’s still her friend, but the air between them is saturated with tension.

It isn’t long before the smell of fried pork product distracts her. It sputters more than it should; Amity probably has the heat too high. Even from where she is, Luz can tell it’s slightly burnt on the first side. She can’t help but want to run over there and guide Amity through it step-by-step. Before she even considers actually making a move, though, Amity’s pulling the bacon out of the pan with a plastic fork.

Her attempts at cracking eggs are similarly dodgy. On the first one, she doesn’t hit it hard enough, and the corrective second hit shatters it, though she has the foresight to use a napkin laid on the stovetop for cracking and not the pan itself. Burnt egg is one thing, but burnt egg right smack on the burner is a hundred times worse. Luz knows from experience.

The second and third eggs are easier for her. Much less shattering, much more egg actually going in the pan this time. At the least, Luz mentally commends Amity for cooking the eggs in the same pan as the bacon: the leftover fat is bound to make the eggs taste just a bit better. It isn’t long before they’re done.

It’s about as perfectly-normal as her cooking usually is. Something about it makes Luz uneasy.

As Amity plates up a few strips of bacon alongside the eggs, Luz slowly makes her way off of the bed. Amity notices, giving her a dry look. She stops halfway off the bed.

“I, uh, should move around a bit. Don’t want my muscles, like… atrophying.” she reasons, unaware that she’s finally accomplished the action she couldn’t manage a few minutes ago.

Amity’s glare slowly fades as a blank expression takes over. “Fair point. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Luz’ heart aches when Amity’s voice sounds this empty. “I won’t.” she promises.

The island is currently occupied by a collection of textbooks, notebooks, and writing utensils. Luz shoves a few of them to the one end and takes a seat towards the middle. Amity slides the plate over to Luz, handing her a set of plastic silverware and a napkin as well.

“Thank you,” Luz says.

Amity nods. “Of course. I hope it’s okay.”

Feeling a spark of hunger, Luz begins tearing into the eggs. The yolks aren’t very runny, but the whites are cooked through. She laments the lack of salt and pepper.

“Could be worse.”

The bacon is overdone, as expected, but Luz doesn’t mind. Her mamá could cook a mean anything, but god forbid Eda manage to toast a toaster waffle properly. Burnt food is just something she’s used to at this point. To be fair, the bacon isn’t burnt, really, just… crunchy.

“Is it alright?” Amity asks, staring at her own eggs sizzling away in the pan as the remaining bacon cools off.

“’S pretty good.” Luz mumbles through a crunch. She sees Amity nod.

Amity soon plates her own breakfast and sits down across from Luz. As always, she takes small, perfectly proportioned and balanced bites of food on her fork, as if she’s being graded on every movement. Every now and again Luz catches herself staring instead of eating.

She can feel the fog draping itself over her shoulders, blocking the warm light from the fixture hanging over the island. She wants to cry.

Everything is perfectly fine again, and it hurts.

“Do you want more coffee?” Amity asks after a bit, seemingly having noticed Luz’ eyes drift around for something to drink.

“No, I’m good, I think.” Luz answers truthfully.

“Anything but more of that fake creamer stuff.”

“Alright.” Amity responds dimly. Luz wants to rip her paper plate to shreds.

Breakfast-dinner meanders along quietly, both roommates chowing down on extra-crispy bacon and bland eggs without saying much more to one another. Every second that passes is another point against Luz, who’s too caught up thinking about what she’s not saying to her roommate-friend-whatevertheyare to notice the room getting darker and darker.

Once the food has mostly been finished, Amity collects Luz’ trash and piles it all in their garbage can, the one not overflowing with rough drafts of end-of-term papers. Luz graciously bags up the leftover bacon and tosses it in the fridge. With dinner over, Luz elects to retire to her bed, feeling a strong yawn coming on. She nestles up against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, facing the kitchen area.

Amity remains somewhere in the fog, dutifully cleaning up the mess she’s made. She probably doesn’t want Luz to help, so she doesn’t ask again. Tomorrow, though, she’ll make it up to her. It’ll just be another regular day.

“Eventually this will end. We’ll go our separate ways, and everything will be normal again.”

Everything is fine. This is fine.

But the fog doesn’t lift.

They’re avoiding it, avoiding the true conversation they need to have.

In an effort to give herself something to do, Luz grabs one of her notebooks off the edge of her desk. A copy of an older chemistry lab report falls onto the bed. As she looks down at it, she thinks back to the first time she ‘admitted’ her feelings to her friends.

“I know what you are.” Gus’s voice heckles her.

It was funny then, but she could’ve said something, anything. Instead, she made things so much worse after that. Ironically, it was the twins who broke her out of that next slump.

“You don’t have to pretend her feelings for her don’t exist.” Emira’s voice reminds her.

She really made the effort to make things right after that. Things just sort of happened, but they happened correctly. All it took was her letting those inhibitions go, and some kind words.

“The only way to figure it out is to just go for it.” Willow’s voice encourages her.

… they’re right.

Everything is fine. But fine is agonizing.

She has to be the one to end this.

She has to be better.

“Hey, Amity?” Luz mumbles, back still facing her roommate.

“Yes, Luz?”

“No going back now.”

“Uh…”

“Luz?”

“I, uh… I-I’m sorry.” she stammers. “This is hard.”

“It’s okay, take your time.”

“Hurry up.”

“Are we gonna be like this forever?” she spits out.

Amity cocks a brow. “Like what?”

“Like… this.” Luz gestures to the fog around them. It mocks her.

“I don’t follow.” Amity mumbles.

“Try again, idiot.”

“Aren’t… aren’t you bored of it yet?” Luz asks firmly, her hand shaking. The lab report floats to the ground.

*Play Track 28: Are You Bored Yet?*

“Wh-What do you mean, ‘bored of it?’” Amity questions.

“Of this, of us.” Luz says. “Aren’t you bored of us?”

Amity doesn’t answer. She’s not going to be the one to finish this, Luz has to do it herself. She’s avoided it for too long, and she knows this is where their story ends. So just like that, the words begins spilling out of Luz like a waterfall.

“We keep going around in circles… you said it yourself, we’re dancing around each other.” she recalls, heartbeat accelerating. “We keep going back and forth, and we always end up back where we started. Aren’t you tired of it?”

Nothing. The fog envelops them. She trudges on.

“For almost two years, I thought you hated me. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again. Every time I thought about you I’d get angry, ‘cause I had lost one of the few people who truly got me. Everyone else wrote me off, but Willow, Gus, and especially you didn’t.”

Amity’s head turns back, but Luz still can’t make out her features. She goes on, face hot.

“Then you came back, and I was so busy being upset that I made things worse. But then we found a way to be okay again, and everything was perfect, but… it wasn’t enough for me. I couldn’t help but want more out of this, out of us, but I knew what it could cost me.”

She can feel the tears forming in her eyes, but Amity remains silent.

“I barely ever had anyone to talk to, much less anyone who was into the same… everything that I was. I-I can’t lose that, I can’t not have that, I need someone to stay with me, I can’t stand being alone.” she rambles. “I don’t ever want to be stuck with myself like that.”

Amity’s arms fall to her sides. The fog sits motionless.

“All this time, I’ve wanted to tell you something… but telling you means giving up everything I’ve worked for the last few mo- the last few years. Everyone told me I just need to do it, but every time I imagine what could happen, I feel like throwing up. I-It’s too much.”

Luz feels a tear stream down her cheek. She barely notices Amity standing in front of her.

“Y’know… it really feels like I’ve known you forever.” Amity finally says. “It seems like so long ago when we stopped talking. You know I was devastated, right?”

Luz recalls the conversation they had just one night in to their stay, and nods somberly.

“Whenever we were together, I felt like me, not anyone else. With you, I can be who I truly am, free of any stupid obligations or unsaid rules. When I lost that, everything… went grey. Everything was just another motion. I hated feeling trapped like that.”

Amity lightly pats the bed, a silent gesture they’ve shared time and time again. Luz doesn’t acknowledge it, but Amity breaks their code of conduct and sits anyway.

“I was so scared to see you again, I didn’t know how you’d react or what you’d say. When you told me off, I took it in stride… I’d already faced being alone, so I figured I could do it again. But it hurt, it really hurt, knowing that I had messed up so bad, and that you were right there the whole time.”

Amity shuffles next to Luz as slowly as she can manage. Luz doesn’t look up.

“Even through all that, though, I still wanted to be friends.” Amity finishes. “I still want to be friends, you know that, we know that. So… whatever it is you want to tell me, I promise it won’t change what we are.”

“What if I want it to change?”

“Luz… tell me what’s wrong. Please.” Amity begs.

“Don’t say anything.”

“You know this can’t last forever.”

“Is… is this enough for you?” Luz asks hopelessly.

“Is it enough for you?” Amity returns the question almost immediately. Luz’s eyes widen.

“You have to tell her.”

“She can’t know!”

“She has to know!”

Everything around her goes dark. It all crashes at once, thoughts and words mangling themselves into one big grotesque knot that she’ll never untangle… unless she goes for it.

“It’s not enough for me.” she says succinctly, breaking their shared gaze.

“Please understand.”

Amity gently places a hand on Luz’ shoulder.

“Luz, I-“ Amity begins. Luz doesn’t let her finish.

“You’re my best friend.” she says through sniffles. “I-I can’t stand the thought of losing you, but… but being friends isn’t enough. I wan- I-I mean, I’d like to be more, a-and if you don’t feel the same way then I understand but-“

Amity grabs her hand, cutting off Luz’ stressed-out rambles. Everything slows to a crawl.

The fog begins to clear.

“It’s over. We did it. No matter what happens, we finally did it.”

Amity doesn’t say anything at first.

“Amity?” Luz asks nervously, the tension seeping into her skin.

Amity sighs, softly running her thumb over Luz’ clenched knuckle. “I… was beginning to think you’d never admit it. I was getting worried.” she mentions with a wet chuckle.

The fog melts away.

“… huh?” Luz sounds.

“That’s why you’ve been so… cautious around me, isn’t it? You were worried I wouldn’t feel the same.”

Luz nods slowly.

“Luz.” Amity says quietly. Hearing her name in Amity’s voice makes Luz’ heart throb. When she finally looks up again, Amity is smiling at her, cheeks wet with dotted tears.

“Y-Yes?”

“You do realize I’ve basically had a crush on you since we met, right?”

Luz blinks. Then she blinks again.

“… what”

“What?” she repeats out-loud.

“I-I thought it was obvious,” Amity says, “’cause I didn’t think I was good at hiding it.”

Luz doesn’t say anything at first, but Amity’s expression drops, and Luz knows she has to speak up.

“I…” she eventually begins, “I didn’t think… I-I mean, you’re so cool, a-and… someone like you would… i-it doesn’t make sense for-“

“For me to like you too?” Amity finishes for her. “Luz, I can’t imagine anyone not liking you. You’re always there for me. You never let a day pass without making sure I’m doing okay. Everything you do makes me smile or laugh. No one would even dare be so kind me. I would say it was only a matter of time before I fell for you, but… it happened pretty fast, to be honest.” Amity says with another tiny laugh.

Luz stutters, but words don’t form. Instead, she feels her eyesight glaze over as she begins crying, the walls holding back her tears shattering with Amity’s words. Amity gently guides Luz’ head onto her shoulder, cradling her with one arm and using her other to softly and sweetly run her fingers through Luz’ curly hair.

It takes a few minutes for Luz to calm down, but Amity waits patiently all the same.

“I… I can’t believe I finally said it.” Luz realizes. She should be panicking, but it’s impossible with Amity surrounding her in a comfortable embrace.

“I’m glad you did.” Amity says kindly.

“I was so worried… I-I went through so much trouble when I could’ve just told you.”

“It’s okay, Luz, really. I-I was scared to say anything myself…”

“You were?”

“I’d wanted to tell you since high school, but I didn’t.” Amity admits. “Can you blame me? You thought I hated you, but I’d figured you’d never want to speak to me ever again. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“You always could’ve come to my house.”

“And risk getting a door slammed in my face?”

“I wouldn’t have slammed it. Eda might’ve, though.”

Amity laughs. Luz has really missed that sound.

They fall silent for a bit after that, but not because they can’t speak, but because they’re enjoying the moment. Luz is still a little on-edge, not sure if she’s really experiencing any of this, but when she wiggles her arm and still feels Amity’s hand resting against it, she knows this is real.

“I’ve wanted this for years.” Luz says quietly, small smile on her face.

“We could’ve had this years ago.” Amity reminds her. Luz frowns.

“You shouldn’t have waited so long for me.”

“I would’ve waited ‘til the end of time.”

That admission leaves a very funny feeling in Luz’ chest.

“You’re so much cooler than me.” she says dreamily.

“I’m not as cool as you think.” Amity rebukes.

The doubt seeps back in. “You deserve someone better.” Luz mutters.

“You’ve always been the best to me.”

“I’d never be enough for you.”

“I don’t want more,” Amity says firmly. “I want Luz. I want you, just as you are.”

Luz pauses.

She wants to say it. That small phrase, those three little words on the tip of her tongue, the ones she’s wanted to say since the moment she realized what her feelings meant. The ones that haunted her almost the entire semester, always serving as a reminder of what she thought she could never have without throwing it all away.

“I-I… I-”

For once, Amity doesn’t wait for her.

“I love you, Luz.”

It’s said with the utmost care, sounding unlike anything she’s ever heard from any other person. It’s quiet, it’s tender, it’s soft; in that moment, Luz understands that Amity’s been waiting just as long as she has for this moment. And in the end, Amity beat her to the punch.

“Aw, I was so ready…” she says with a bemoaning giggle.

Amity giggles too. “Oh, I-I’m sorry, you can say it.”

“Okay, okay.” Luz pauses and takes a breath. “I… I love you too, Amity.”

It’s not as delicate as Amity’s, too rushed and yet too slow at the same time, but… it’s a start.

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.” Amity says quietly, stars in her eyes.

“Good, because I am soooo sick of not being able to say that literally all the time.” Luz admits with a snort. Eda would be proud.

Amity can’t help but laugh with her. By the time Luz comes back down to reality, the room feels brighter, warmer. There’s no trace of fog anywhere, just two friends – now partners – holding each other close as the seconds slowly tick by. It’s a while before either of them get up.

When they do eventually leave the bed to find drinks, Luz finds herself wondering how long this is going to last. She can’t help it: it’s simply how her head works at this point. No one stays around forever, not with her. The war she fights with herself is unlikely to end.

“Hold me tight.”

“Throw me away.”

“Please be with me.”

“Find someone better.”

“Never let me go.”

But when Amity notices her frozen in the middle of the room, she quickly pulls Luz into a big, proper hug. After a few seconds, Luz hugs back, a little tighter but a little more gentle. She never wants the moment to end. Amity must be able to tell something is amiss, though, and slowly lets go.

When she thinks Amity’s about to walk away again, finally satisfying the part of her brain that knows Amity could never think of her as anything other than a friend, Amity yet again proves that part of her wrong.

“Remember what Willow taught you.”

It takes Luz a second to remember, but Amity guides her through it. She breathes in, counting with her fingers. Amity does the same. They count down and exhale in unison, and the room is bright again.

“Better?”

Luz nods, lost for her own words.

“Hm. Maybe we can try something else.” Amity mentions. Luz cocks a brow.

Instead of a breathing exercise though, Amity has other plans. She steps closer to Luz, grabs her hand, softly cups the side of her face, and pulls their heads together for a kiss.

It’s brief, it’s messy, and it barely hits its target. It’s not helped by Luz having zero clue what’s going on. Even so, Amity can’t help but chuckle.

“Hm?” Luz says, apparently not having registered that Amity just tried to kiss her.

“We’ll try again later, okay?” she says quietly, sweetly. Only then does Luz realize what happened, and she quickly feels her face and ears heat up.

“Oh, uh, o-okay.” Luz sputters. Amity giggles and lets go, but Luz doesn’t mind it this time. She might as well have melted into a puddle on the floor.

As Amity walks back to the kitchen area though, Luz’s mind suddenly flashes back to the first time they went to the store together as roommates. She especially remembers the kiss Amity had planted on her cheek after she was done crying…

“Wait, she- oh my titan I am such an idiot.“

“Hey, that’s not the first time you’ve done that!”

Amity simply turns her head around and smirks.

Notes:

TITAN FINALLY I DID IT I WROTE A LUMITY CONFESSION I’M SUCH A WINNER WOOO

honestly, this chapter SUCKED to write. i’m aroace-spec and writing any kind of actual romantic stuff is pretty difficult, and i felt it hard with this chapter. now, you might be wondering why i even tried to write a romantic fic as my first big project, and to that i say… yeah i may be stupid

anyway, i’m glad i was able to finish it and get it out. i meant it when i said i’d finish this fic by the end of the year, and now it’s looking like it’ll be done by the end of this month. good thing too, cuz i have tons more ideas and i think im finally back into this hyperfixation proper, so i hope i can continue to write stuff you’ll all enjoy.

see you soon for the much-less-moody-and-hopefully-much-more-fun finale!!!