Work Text:
[A somewhat shaky phone camera is focused on Ingenium II, who has his helmet off and is watching the police leave with a defeated villain in the back of their van.
The person holding the camera calls out “Ingenium! Hey, Ingenium, over here!”
Ingenium II looks around for a moment before spotting the camera-person and he trots over. “Do you need something?”
“Oh no, sorry. Just a fan if you have a minute.” The camera-person holds out a small notebook and a pen. “That was an amazing fight. Can I get your autograph?”
Ingenium II smiles and accepts both. “Thank you. And sure, I can spare a moment. What’s your name?”
“It’s [the audio is bleeped out]. Hey, did you see that big Twitter poll?”
“I’m not on social media much to be honest. Which poll was this?”
“You were voted Most Eligible Bachelor in Japan by fans.”
Ingenium II looks confused, handing back the notebook and pen. “What?”
The camera-person laughs. “I mean, you’re a really attractive pro-hero. It’s not that much of a surprise, is it?”
“I’m not a bachelor though,” Ingenium II says.
The camera-person almost drops their phone. “You - what?”
Ingenium II reaches into the collar of his under-armor suit and pulls out a ring on a chain. “We got engaged recently, in fact! So I think they’re going to have to give that title to whoever was the runner up.”
The camera-person starts to say something but the radio in Ingenium II’s helmet crackles and he hastily shoves the necklace back under his suit and puts his helmet back on. “Sorry, I have to go. Structure fire. Stay safe!”
Ingenium II bolts off so fast that the camera barely catches the blur of blue and white. The camera-person moves the camera around, trying to figure out which way he went, but it’s too late. They shout “Who the fuck is he dating?!” just before the video ends.]
***
What’s happening
Trending in Japan
WHO THE FUCK IS HE DATING?
Trending in Japan
WHO IS THEM?
Pro-Heroes - Trending
#IngeniumII
Celebrity News - Trending
Iida Tenya
Trending in Japan
Most Eligible Bachelor
that’s real fucking Neito @welovebadquirks - 1 hour ago
i can’t believe the guy with the biggest virgin energy i’ve ever seen is getting married and we don’t even know to WHO #IngeniumII
himbo rights and himbo lefts @callitaredriot - 1 hour ago
@welovebadquirks he could still be a virgin! maybe he’s the ‘save it for marriage’ type lmao
Rocketti Spaghetti @mylittletsunotori - 1 hour ago
there’s no way iida tenya has ever even seen a titty. simply not a sex haver. i refuse to believe it. he is a bachelor and a virgin forever
Team Idaten Fanzone @idatenfanzone - 1 hour ago
how. what. when. WHO?
Happy Frog @froppytime - 34 minutes ago
@fukuokafroppy @itsuravity @therealdeku @shoutotodoroki do YOU guys know who he’s dating??? how sneaky has he been about this???
Defying Uravity @itsuravity - 30 minutes ago
Lmao of course we knew about them? They’ve been dating since our second year, the whole class knew.
touching grass @dandoeshisbest - 29 minutes ago
@itsuravity WHO IS THEM? WE ONLY HAVE ONE NAME HERE
Real Life Raichu @heyitschargebolt - 26 minutes ago
do yall really think we wouldnt know who iidas fiance is, like are you fr. after all the times ive watched them play grabass right in front of me
Platypissy @aokisblog - 25 minutes ago
@heyitschargebolt the word you’re looking for is fiancée
Real Life Raichu @heyitschargebolt - 24 minutes ago
@aokisblog bruh do i look like i speak french to you
Cellophane @serophane - 22 minutes ago
Lol. And also lmao. Furthermore, rofl.
***
Team Idaten Fanzone Discord
#rules
#announcements
#general-chat
#hero-news
#ingenium-(s)ass-appreciation-zone
#our-millionth-ground-zero-argument
#illuso-camie-corner
#blink-is-an-good-hero
#def-don’t-discuss-vigilantes-here
#post-your-pets
#ingenium-(s)ass-appreciation-zone - the family business is being hot nerds
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): you can’t be that surprised a pro hero has a private life
Lord of Goblins: its not that im surprised he has a private life, im just surprised he hid it so well??
Ten out of Ten: he’s never even HINTED at having a girlfriend!
Spiderhider: elemental has a private life. man doesn’t post shit on his social media and never tells people nothin’ about himself. i still know he’s fucking gale force tho bc people have seen them on dates
Spiderhider: never seen ingenium out with anybody but his friends and coworkers
my chickens are fine stop asking: not one single paparazzi pic
no braincells left: I mean based on what Uravity said, his girlfriend (well, fiancee I guess) has to have been one of his classmates from high school and him hanging out with any of them would just look like him being out with a friend, right?
#1 GZ fan (fight me): could be anybody he knew in high school really, including from the B class or Support classes or whatever. all Uravity really said was that the class knew they were dating, so they probably saw them around
Lord of Goblins: do i spend the evening going over every civilian pic of ingenium i can find to figure out who he’s seen with most frequently or is that too creepy. i know its a little creepy at least but i could handle a little creepy
Purple Fanta: i mean we already know who he has standing lunch dates with every week
Abesynth: I think we can safely discard the pics of him having lunch with fellow agency member Ground Zero
Spiderhider: they do both look cute in those pics tho
Ten out of Ten: Ingenium does anyway
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): hey!
Ten out of Ten: look I’m willing to call GZ attractive but I will not give him ‘cute’
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): …acceptable
***
r/TeamIdaten
This can’t be that hard to figure out guys
Posted by u/vroomvroommfer - 2 days ago
3.4k upvotes
Look, let’s lay out the facts: Uravity said Ingenium’s been with his partner since 2nd year. That’s 5-6 years (depending on when in the year they started dating) and I know a bunch of people have been screeching about how he’s ‘jumping into marriage’ but let’s be honest, it’s just because we didn’t know about this. A five year steady relationship is a completely reasonable jumping off point for getting engaged.
The only other detail we have from the pros is from Chargebolt, who isn’t the most reliable source in the world, but he says he’s had to watch them ‘play grabass’ right in front of him. That doesn’t tell us anything about who Ingenium’s girlfriend is but it does suggest they haven’t been subtle.
Which brings me to my main point - there’s just not that many options in terms of the people Ingenium hangs out with on the regular. The dude is 6’5, he stands out in a crowd and isn’t talented at evading the paparazzi. We can very easily list the women Ingenium spends time with most frequently and disqualify some of them:
Uravity - dating Deku so it’s not her, but they are close friends. Also 9 times out of 10, she doesn’t have lunch with Ingenium alone. Either Deku’s there too or Ground Zero is.
Creati - I know there’s persistent rumors about her dating Earjacks but it’s probably worth noting that she’s been friends with Ingenium for the longest. On the other hand, her costume isn’t exactly conducive to hiding a ring somewhere on her person.
Pinky - dating Red Riot but before that she was directly asked if she and Ingenium were a thing and she said no, they just play D&D together and they sometimes meet up to plan out what their characters are doing next session, which is very cute.
Froppy - based out of Fukuoka, which is a hell of a distance from Tokyo, but Ingenium is a speedster so I guess he could do it. And he does get photographed with her often enough that clearly they’re meeting up somehow.
Invisible Girl - despite being the easiest one to have been overlooked or to have a stealth relationship, she’s had a very public off-and-on relationship with Tailman.
Earjacks - see Creati section for their possible relationship, however even without that, she and Invisible Girl are easily the girls from his old class that Ingenium has been spotted with the least. And Creati’s usually there when they do meet up.
Illuso-Camie - Shiketsu alumni but supposedly Ingenium met her in his 1st year at UA so it does work out. And she works at Team Idaten so they have a lot of opportunities to connect. I think she’s probably the most likely candidate.
Battle Fist - but I might as well continue the list since there’s only one other person. Ingenium isn’t seen much with Battle Fist now but apparently they were both their respective Class Presidents during high school and spent a lot of time with each other because of it.
Conclusion: It’s almost certainly Utsushimi Camie. She’s a stealthy hero and with her illusions, they might have actually been seen together more times than we think they have. She does have a much more active social media presence than Ingenium does and she hasn’t posted anything about a relationship, but maybe she’s just private about her dating life.
So what do you guys think? Right on the money or way off base?
623 comments
jumbowumbo - 1.2k upvotes, 2 days ago
Camie posts literally everything on social media and you think she’s hiding a whole ass boyfriend? And frankly, she’s been spotted more with Blink than she has Ingenium, as far as Team Idaten agency members goes (although that’s probably just because they’re both night shifters, versus Ingenium and Ground Zero being on day shift). Honestly if Ground Zero wasn’t openly gay, I’d think she was dating him because Camie, GZ, Gale Force, and Elemental have been seen on weird pseudo-double dates before.
apexPredator420 - 45 upvotes, 2 days ago
lmao i forgot camie is friends with all the gay boys
keaton7672 - 590 upvotes, 2 days ago
first of all, this is creepy. second of all, by this logic, you might as well say Ingenium is dating GZ because GZ is by FAR the person he’s been seen most often with who isn’t known to be dating somebody else (yes I know it’s just because they’re coworkers and GZ runs their D&D game, I’m not suggesting they’re actually dating).
antelopetaxi - 457 upvotes, 2 days ago
Keaton’s right tbh, this is weirdly obsessive. If Ingenium wanted us to know who he was dating, he’d have said who it is. Especially now that the entire internet has been wigging out about it for awhile.
***
Hands Up Radio Transcript: 11/14/[year is smudged and unreadable]
Present Mic: Heyo out there, listeners! Welcome to another night of Hands Up Radio! I’m your host, as always, Present Mic, and tonight we have a special guest! It’s the rising star, Demolition Hero Ground Zero!
[Soundboard noise of a fake audience cheering and clapping]
Ground Zero: Ah [bleep], why am I here?
PM: Because I asked and you agreed! Or at least your PR person did. That’s how it works, my friend.
GZ: Ugh.
PM: Oh, it’s fine, we’ll start off easy. How’s it feel to already be in the Top 10 at just - how old are you? 25?
GZ: 23. And it’s fine, but #9 just means there’s eight more spots to go.
PM: Love the dedication. Got any holiday plans?
GZ: Nah. I’m working through the holidays so other people don’t have to. I don’t like big parties so might as well let my coworkers enjoy it.
PM: Aw, that’s nice of you.
GZ: I guess? There’s not usually a ton of crime on the holidays themselves anyway. Around the holidays, yes, but not on them. So it’ll probably be pretty boring.
PM: I’ve noticed that too. Have you got plans beyond that? Anything big for next year?
GZ: I know what you’re [bleep]ing digging at, and no. Probably not next year. Either spring or fall of the year after that though.
PM: Ah, we’ll talk about it a bit more when we take a music break. Changing the subject, have you been watching the news lately?
GZ: I try not to. If it’s important, someone will tell me about it.
PM: Hah! So you’ve missed the social media frenzy about your fellow agency member, Ingenium?
GZ: Oh, that. No, I got a phone call about that from my boss and he was laughing so hard he was crying.
PM: Your -? Oh, you mean Iida Tensei, the old Ingenium.
GZ: Yeah. It took him a while to calm down enough to even make sense. He told me I could get into as much trouble as I wanted for a bit because nobody was going to be talking about anything but his dumb little brother.
PM: As your former teacher, I feel the need to point out that you've never been much of a troublemaker.
GZ: Nah, the media just makes [bleep] up about me or misinterprets what I say in crazy ways. Like the time they spent a month arguing about whether or not I was gay when they could have just asked me.
PM: I remember that. I didn't think what you said in the first place was that ambiguous. At any rate, did you watch the video of Ingenium?
GZ: I did and I have to say - that's pretty much exactly how I expected that news to come out.
PM: You already knew he was engaged of course.
GZ: Obviously. The whole class was there when it happened.
PM: Quite the party, I'm sorry I missed it. Was it a nice proposal?
GZ: It - yeah. Yeah, it really was.
PM: Hopefully there's a video somewhere! But let's take a quick music break before we continue our interview. Any requests?
GZ: No. You're not gonna play any of my death metal favorites.
PM: You're right, so I guess I'll pick! See you listeners in a bit!
***
Profiterolo posted:
Alright, it's been about a week since Ingenium said he was engaged and we still don't know jack or shit about who he's dating so I'm gonna come out and say it - dude's gay. None of the women in his life make sense as his romantic partner and there's no reason to be this secretive about it if he's into ladies. Ingenium is out there right now fucking his boyfriend and living his best life and we're all just going to have to accept that.
Lazydaisy reblogged Profiterolo:
Or he could just want a private personal life like many celebrities. I know this is Tumblr, home of a million gay conspiracy theories, but not everybody is gay.
Kentucky-Fried-Hawks reblogged Lazydaisy:
he's fucking ground zero op, hth
Profiterolo reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks:
God I hope not. Ingenium could do better.
Kentucky-Fried-Hawks reblogged Profiterolo:
wtf there's nothing wrong with gz. everybody wants an openly gay hero but you get one and all of you hate him just bc he's not some sugar sweet lil twink? or bc he's not pretty with all those scars he got from fighting a dude that was trying to take over the world? gz puts his life on the line for civilians every day, same as any other hero, and y'all out here treating him like dirt just bc he's not sociable
Worldfamouspizzahut reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks:
I had two cousins and an uncle die in Kamino Ward, which he's never apologized for. I have every right to hate that prick.
Profiterolo reblogged Worldfamouspizzahut:
You know what @Kentucky-Fried-Hawks ? You're right and I'm sorry. That was very rude of me to say. I just meant their personalities don't seem like they would mesh well, but what do I know? They've been through a lot as classmates, Ground Zero is a trusted member of the Idaten agency, and they're clearly at least friends. I was out of line.
And also frankly I don't want to be associated with the shitheels who still blame a child for his own kidnapping.
14,658 notes
***
Team Idaten Fanzone Discord
#ingenium-(s)ass-appreciation-zone - the family business is being hot nerds
Purple Fanta: so how we feeling about this "ingenium is dating ground zero" theory fam?
Abesynth: I dunno, it's not like there's any evidence beyond them being friends and coworkers who hang sometimes.
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): i'm not prepared to call it either way, however i do think it's worth noting that Ingenium never said anything about his partner that would indicate gender, so it's possible
Spiderhider: might explain why ground zero joined team idaten in the first place tbh. I always assumed he was too independent to want to work under somebody else
Purple Fanta: agreed tbh
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): oh thats easy to explain actually
Ten out of Ten: oh boy, here comes the nerd ramble
Abesynth: this is my favorite part
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): basically running your own agency or being fully independent (which a few heroes like Miruko still are) is really difficult and takes a lot of time out of your day for paperwork and general management issues, meaning less overall patrol time and fewer cases personally solved by YOU (versus solved by your agency, which does count for rankings but not as much). Ground Zero's stated goal is to be the #1 hero so not running his own agency is the better way to reach that goal. You can see this with the fact that when they first graduated, Deku entered the rankings at a higher place than GZ did, but in the 3ish years since then, GZ has overtaken him (as have several other classmates) because Deku was dumb enough to start his own agency so GZ spends more time actually getting stuff done
no braincells left: I wouldn't call Deku dumb but that makes sense
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): no, he's pretty dumb
Lord of Goblins: the critical flaw with all gz fans is their inability to be nice about deku
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): lmao
my chickens are fine stop asking: tbh gz isn't my fave hero but when this news first dropped and we all went 'okay who does ingenium spend the most time with,' the automatic follow up was 'other than gz.'
my chickens are fine stop asking: so you know, if we're saying ingenium could be into dudes, gz is the most likely suspect
Ten out of Ten: chargebolt did say fiance instead of fiancee
Abesynth: Chargebolt is dumb tho
Ten out of Ten: well yes, thats true
***
r/TeamIdaten
I interned under Ground Zero
Posted by u/areallaughriot - 3 hours ago
10.4k upvotes
I wasn’t going to post this but all the theories about who Ingenium is seeing and then the arguing about whether or not it’s Ground Zero re-started a lot of the arguments about GZ in this subforum and I really hate seeing those because he’s a good dude. So as somebody uniquely positioned to do so, I figured I’d weigh in.
I’m a 2nd year hero student at UA and I came in 3rd place at the Sports Festival last year, 2nd place this year (yes, obviously I’m the girl with the hyena quirk) and after the first Sports Festival, I got an internship offer at Team Idaten, which I was super excited about and, I’ll admit, I thought I’d be working with Ingenium II. Instead I got there and Ingenium I told me that GZ was really impressed by my showing and had specifically requested me and oh my god, I was terrified, you guys. I mean, it’s GZ. We’ve all seen him on the news being grumpy and hyper aggressive towards villains or sometimes even reporters.
So I was dead scared but I met up with him downstairs because I signed up for this internship and this is what I’m going to do and you know what? GZ is really nice. I mean - once you realize what nice looks like on him, because it doesn’t look the same as it does for other people. I don’t live anywhere near Tokyo and of course the dorms are an hour away so Team Idaten put me up in this high-security apartment building that I guess the agency owns because a bunch of their heroes and sidekicks and support people live there and GZ asked me Day 1 if I knew how to cook and I mean, I was 15 so… no (I’ve started learning since).
Guys, he brought me a home cooked meal every single night for the entire week I interned there. He told me I should learn how to cook because takeout wasn’t good for me and my health was important as a hero, but he wasn’t like “learn to cook or starve,” he just brought me some kickass food for dinner and always made sure I was eating a good breakfast before we left for patrol. Plus he was super protective of me while we were out on patrols and always got between me and reporters even though he doesn’t like them because I admitted to him that I get nervous when I’m put on the spot like that (he said there’d be time to learn how to deal with them later and my first internship wasn’t the most important time to learn it).
We also always got lunch while we were out patrolling and Ingenium II joined us about half the time. I know people here have been arguing about if they’re “just coworkers” or even if they just “tolerate” each other but I can tell you firsthand that they’re really great friends. Even when they disagreed on something, the bickering was always friendly. And if I’m being honest, the conversation, from GZ’s side anyway, always felt… kinda flirty? I have no idea if they’re together or not, I really don’t, it’s not like they ever did anything in front of me (why would they, they’re both professionals and I was 15) and they’re clearly private people. But the person GZ is in private and around Ingenium II is a totally different person from the irritable front he puts on in public.
If GZ and Ingenium II are dating, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Even if we ignore all the rampant homophobia among people saying it can’t be true (and again, I don’t have an opinion on whether or not it is), there’s a lot of people acting like GZ would be a bad or even abusive romantic partner and he’s “not good” for Ingenium II and I just wanted all of you to know that’s really not true. GZ is a good person, a good hero, and I’m sure he’d be a good husband.
Anyway, just my input, for whatever it’s worth.
1.7k comments
twerkinquirk - 1.5k upvotes, 2 hours ago
Honestly, thank you for this. The hate for Ground Zero - in a subreddit dedicated to the agency he works for! - is outrageous. You don’t have to like him, I think he’d be the first person in line to call himself abrasive, but you can’t deny that he’s doing his best to help people. I don’t know if Ingenium and GZ are dating either but if they are, I hope they’re happy. Ingenium certainly seems happy.
gokgok3000_hawks - 129 upvotes, 2 hours ago
“You can’t deny that he’s doing his best to help people” lmao I can definitely deny that. Man’s stated goal is to be #1. His rank is all he cares about.
areallaughriot OP - 845 upvotes, 2 hours ago
#1 what? Can’t help but notice you left that out. He wants to be #1 hero. A hero’s job is, by definition, helping people. He wants to be the best at helping people in the whole nation. If all he wanted to do was be the best at fighting, he could have been an MMA champion or something.
antelopetaxi - 431 upvotes, 1 hour ago
I still think speculating on the private life of a hero who clearly wants to keep it private is a little gross but this is a good post and a good reminder to people that the image someone presents to the public is not necessarily who they really are. This actually isn’t the first time I’ve heard that GZ is much nicer (and calmer) in person than he is on TV and I’m not surprised to hear it. All the stories from people who have met him make him seem like somebody who genuinely cares, he just doesn’t have any patience for the news media, and who can blame him? They’ve been attacking him since he was a kid. And he keeps helping anyway.
hopscotchwhiskey - 412 upvotes, 1 hour ago
I think GZ is fine but I do wish this entire discussion hadn’t somehow become centered around him? Ingenium is getting married but somehow GZ became the topic of conversation instead of him. Why aren’t we talking more about Ingenium? I want to know how he kept this hidden from the public, if he intends to keep it hidden going forward, if he’s dating a fellow hero or a civilian, if he’s interested in kids, etc. I don’t really want to talk about GZ right now.
blinkandmissit - 24 upvotes, 30 minutes ago
i mean that’s bc we don’t have the answers to those questions without somebody just asking him and ingenium doesn’t seem interested in putting out a press release about this shit. so everybody went ‘well who does ingenium hang out with’ and the answer turned out to be mostly gz.
***
touching grass @dandoeshisbest - 6 hours ago
I don’t understand how we got from “Ingenium is getting married” to “Ingenium is gay” in under a week. Like… what? Is this just because Chargebolt doesn’t know the difference between fiancé and fiancée?
SFW Hoshi @tenseimyname - 6 hours ago
@dandoeshisbest i sure as hell don’t know the difference. have to google it every time. cant fault him
Spanx International @herobuttshots - 5 hours ago
y’all know i’m too gay to be homophobic but i just do not buy the idea that ingenium is gay. man looks like he does taxes for fun. he’s looked like an adult accountant since age 15. i just cannot see this man loving another man. he’s destined for a wife, 2.5 kids, and a dog
GZ's Bara Tiddies @makoronizone - 5 hours ago
@herobuttshots GZ is allergic to dogs tho
Spanx International @herobuttshots - 5 hours ago
@makoronizone i will destroy you
Osu Science @creatijacks - 3 hours ago
I still don't think Ground Zero is even actually gay. He said it once like 4 years ago when he was in high school and he's never dated anybody. I think he just wants the extra fangirls it nets him.
President Michael @prezentmike420 - 3 hours ago
@creatijacks thats fucking stupid. you're fucking stupid. why the hell would anyone pretend to be gay? we all saw that news story where gz stopped a criminal and A HOSTAGE HE RESCUED called him a slur. to a reporter even, with gz 5 feet away. like wtf
Spanx International @herobuttshots - 2 hours ago
@prezentmike420 omg i forgot about that. if gz had just chucked that man straight into tokyo bay i would not have blamed him.
***
Kentucky-Fried-Hawks posted:
alright im fucking sick of all you shitbag ground zero haters who CLAIM to be ingenium fans spamming my inbox. i wasnt gonna fucking do this but here we go, you little bitches asked for it
i used to live in tokyo and i worked night shift (wfh phone job) so sometimes on my breaks i would go to this konbini that happened to be right across the street from a very unassuming building that most people dont know is actually a gay nightclub. its pretty discrete and low key, not a big like, raves and everybody popping mdma or w/e kind of place. so you can imagine my fucking surprise when one night about a year ago, im walking to the konbini for some chips when i hear a noise like an engine revving but no cars on the street so im like wtf and i look over and what do i see in an alleyway but this:
[Still frame picture of two men in civilian clothes making out in a dimly lit alleyway, half hidden by a dumpster. One man is larger and has the other smaller man hoisted up against the wall with his legs wrapped around the larger man's waist. The smaller man is unmistakably Ground Zero due to the distinctive spiky blonde hair and the scars on his face and arm. The larger man is less identifiable but has dark hair that looks blue in the faint light.]
anyway fuck all y'all fake ass ingenium fans. dare you to talk shit about gz to ingeniums face. see how that fucking works out for you.
Bakugos-Sweaty-Hands reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks
Holy shit
Getinthemechshinji reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks
Uh, not sure you’re morally in the right to post that, dude
Fastlikeaniida reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks
there's no way that's Ingenium. a lookalike maybe. gz is welcome to have a crush on his hot coworker but that guy doesn't even have glasses
Zoomenhance reblogged Fastlikeaniida
Not to set myself up for a username/post combo joke but yeah he does have glasses - they're in Ground Zero's left hand. You can see them on the other side of Ingenium's head. Also tbh his pants aren’t that tight but dude has thick legs so they’re tight enough you can kind of see the bulge of the exhaust ports in his calves. If he's a lookalike, he's a fucking professional at it.
Profiterolo reblogged Kentucky-Fried-Hawks
Welp. Guess I'm eating crow.
Lazydaisy reblogged Profiterolo
Same but tbh its some fucking delicious crow
39,755 notes
***
Team Idaten Fanzone Discord
#our-millionth-ground-zero-argument - what if you just didn't start shit for no reason, wouldn't that be swell?
Caltrops: uh, i know i havent been in here for a hot minute but have you guys seen this?
Caltrops: [nightclub.jpg]
Spiderhider: excuse me???
my chickens are fine stop asking: holy fuck is that real???????
Lord of Goblins: WHOA
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): … where did you get that?
Ten out of Ten: what
Purple Fanta: hot
Purple Fanta: uh, i mean. thats an invasion of their privacy, v inappropriate
Caltrops: from here - [link]
Spiderhider: should we not be seeing this? #1, you're a mod, what's the ruling here?
#1 GZ Fan (fight me): gimme a few minutes
Abesynth: late night crew gets all the best news
Lord of Goblins: i too need a few minutes to look at that pic
no braincells left: lmao, mazel tov to ingenium and gz on their engagement, looks like its gonna be a hell of a honeymoon
***
A phone rings in an otherwise silent apartment and after three rings, a hand snaps out and brings it closer.
"Deku, it's two in the fucking morning and I'm not on call," Bakugo Katsuki snarls. "If you aren't dead or dying, I'm gonna make you wish you were."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but I'm sending you something and I need you to look at it."
"If this is a fucking All Might poster -"
"It's not! Just - look."
Only years of trusting his life to this dumb asshole gets Katsuki to pull the phone away from his head and tap the link. Next to him, his fiancé (fiancé! They're going to get married! The mere idea still thrills him even though it’s been months since they got engaged) grumbles and turns over to block out the light from the phone.
"Whazzit?"
"Deku sent me something, I don't fucking - oh shit."
"See?!" Deku's voice cries out from the phone, though it’s distant and tinny since he's not on speaker.
Iida Tenya deigns to lift his head and peers up at Katsuki with tired eyes. "I'm not putting on my glasses. Is it important?"
Katsuki considers that. Is it? There's definitely no stopping it at this point and it's very funny that this only surfaced now. Eventually, he says, "Eh, somebody got a pic of us from like a year ago where we were making out."
"Oh. Okay."
Katsuki knows Tenya would be mortified if he was properly awake, but he's in that sleepy stage where nothing short of a house fire would alarm him.
"You want me to say something?" Katsuki asks him.
Tenya shrugs and puts his face back down on the pillow. "You can if you want. I'm going back to sleep." His voice is muffled but Katsuki has extensive experience figuring out what Tenya is saying, no matter how inaudible he is.
Katsuki puts the phone back to his ear and says to Deku, "It's whatever. I'm gonna tweet something stupid. We'll figure out everything else tomorrow."
"Alright. Sorry for waking you."
"S'fine," Katsuki says grudgingly. A few years ago, this probably would have been a bigger deal to Tenya and worth panicking about. He's quietly pleased that it's not anymore. "I'm hanging up now."
"Good night, Kacchan!"
Katsuki mashes the end call button and pulls up his rarely used Twitter account and stares at it. The fuck is he going to say?
Tenya mumbles, "Just post that video Mina sent you."
Oh yeah, he can do that.
"Good idea. Everyone kept asking to see it anyway."
Tenya grunts and wraps an arm around Katsuki's waist to tug him closer. Katsuki's pretty sure his fiancé (!!!) is pretty much already asleep again. Katsuki fires off the tweet and puts his phone on mute since his mentions are going to be abominable, then rolls over and joins him.
***
The Real Ground Zero @demoherogroundzero - 5 minutes ago
If you think that pic is hot, get a load of this:
[Video embed]
Spanx International @herobuttshots - 4 minutes ago
leave me alone to die in shame at the things i have said
Team Idaten Fanzone @idatenfanzone - 4 minutes ago
@demoherogroundzero @ingenium2 Mazel tov :)
GZ's Bara Tiddies @makoronizone - 4 minutes ago
Told you
Rocketti Spaghetti @mylittletsunotori - 3 minutes ago
im. im embarrassed. for me. i apologize to my fathers who have given me life eternal
Platypissy @aokisblog - 2 minutes ago
I would like to retroactively apologize to @heyitschargebolt who maybe didn't know the difference but was nevertheless correct.
Real Life Raichu @heyitschargebolt - 1 minute ago
@aokisblog technically correct is the best kind of correct B)
***
[A phone camera steadily focuses on Ground Zero and Ingenium, both dressed nicely for the party they appear to be attending. Other pro heroes can be seen in the background and off to the side, but the camera does not pan to see them.
There is idle conversation around the camera-person but Ingenium is audible as he speaks to Ground Zero in a fond tone. "I know it's my birthday, but I got a present for you."
Ground Zero looks surprised. "Why would you get me a gift? Or is this something I need to wait til we get home for?"
Ingenium laughs. "No, although I guess it is for me too. You know I love you more than anything, right Kat?"
"Yeah? I love you too. What's -"
Ground Zero is interrupted by Ingenium dropping to one knee and pulling out a small ring box. The camera-person squeals with delight and a hush falls over the room. Ground Zero looks stunned.
"Will you do me the honor of letting me become your husband, Bakugo Katsuki?" Ingenium asks.
Ground Zero makes a high pitched incoherent noise and full-body tackles Ingenium hard enough to push them both out of frame for a moment. When the camera refocuses on them, both men are on the floor and Ingenium is laughing into Ground Zero's mouth.
"That's not an answer!" Uravity hollers from across the room, though she's grinning.
Ground Zero flips her the bird and can be heard saying, "Yes, yes, yes, of fucking course yes, Tenya, yes," over the sounds of cheers.]
***
Lazydaisy posted:
[Picture set of 10 separate instances of Ground Zero and Ingenium having lunch at various restaurants in Tokyo]
Lazydaisy reblogged Lazydaisy
[A second set of 10 more instances of Ground Zero and Ingenium on lunch dates]
Lazydaisy reblogged Lazydaisy
[Another set of 10 more lunch dates]
Lazydaisy reblogged Lazydaisy
[Yet another 10 picture set of the same thing]
I could keep going for like 5 more posts and not repeat a single pic from the past 3 years.
Y'all I think we might be stupid.
Profiterolo reblogged Lazydaisy
Heteronormative assumptions, my greatest enemy :(
***
Iida Tenya, Ingenium II @ingenium2 - 20 minutes ago
I can play this game too.
[Picture of Ingenium and Ground Zero in bed in the dim early morning light. Ground Zero is asleep and wrapped around Ingenium, who has one arm around him. Ingenium is sleep ruffled and holding the phone above them. They're under the sheets, but neither of them are wearing shirts.]
The Real Ground Zero @demoherogroundzero - 5 minutes ago
@ingenium2 Lookin good <3
Iida Tenya, Ingenium II @ingenium2 - 4 minutes ago
@demoherogroundzero You always do <3