Chapter Text
Eddie had been sitting on the freezing ground smoking a cigarette between the dull-as-hell sets he had been playing for these rich-ass people when the service entrance to the hotel kitchen had opened loudly. A vaguely familiar figure burst onto the loading dock.
If Eddie was placing him correctly, it was the son of the CEO for said rich fucks he had been serenading most of the evening. His agent had booked him into this corporate Christmas party thing. Easy money. Acoustic covers. It paid the bills, so he could pursue his other music. But, by God, if someone asked him to play Last Christmas one more time, he was gonna lose his shit. Hence, the smoke break.
The guy–Eddie didn’t know his name–bent over at the waist, cursing, and panting, and pulling at his tie to loosen it. He seemed to be having a sort of panic attack and just kept saying “Fuck this” repeatedly.
Ignoring every sense of self-preservation in his body, and the voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his Uncle Wayne saying ‘Absolutely do not get involved,’ Eddie threw out a casual, “Wanna smoke?”
The guy yelped and tried to stand up and spin towards Eddie’s voice at the same time. It was only what Eddie assumed were probably some sort of honed athletic reflexes that prevented him from falling over. Everything about this dude screamed all-star-letterman-jacket-jock-bro.
Or, it had for most of the evening as Eddie watched him trail after his father, shaking all the right hands, laughing at all the right jokes. So, what, maybe Eddie’s eyes had lingered, okay? So, sue him. He knew his setlist back and forth. He got bored. He let his eyes wander. This guy had been the only person in the crowd under 50, and easy on the eyes.
But now, Pretty Boy looked over at Eddie with that glazed look of trapped panic in his eyes that Eddie had seen in the mirror many times growing up. It could mean a lot of things. It at least interested Eddie enough for the moment that he didn’t immediately regret the offer of a cig.
Eddie held up his hands and stayed seated where he was, leaned back against the cement wall, “Didn’t mean to scare you. Just looked like you could use a little smoke break.”
The guy looked back towards the door he’d just practically sprinted out of and then back down at Eddie before moving a little closer, “You sure? I don’t want to impose.”
Eddie patted the cold cement next to him, “No problem, man.”
Pretty Boy came over and just sort of slid down the wall like his strings had been cut. He took the cigarette and the lighter that Eddie handed him and took a deep first drag before seeming to finally relax a little. It was a typically cold December evening in Chicago and neither one of them had brought their coats on their brief escape to the outside. Eddie let the silence settle a bit and tried not to shiver too bad.
The guy didn’t seem bothered by the cold, he looked over at Eddie and started talking, “You’re the guy they hired to play music, right?”
Eddie nodded but the guy didn’t really wait for an answer, just kept talking, “It’s been a nice change of pace. Usually my dad insists on like, fucking jazz or some shit at these things. I’ve been listening to you when I can. You’re good.”
Eddie smiled, “Thanks, man. Most of the time I have my full band and we play to a bit of a… rougher crowd. But it’s nice to do some acoustic stuff, holiday cheer and shit, change of pace, when I book these sorts of gigs.”
The guy nodded and smiled as he took another pull on the cigarette, “I’m sure, I guess, but I bet you get sick of people asking you to play Last Christmas.”
Eddie honest-to-God laughed out loud, it caught him so off guard, “Yeah, could do without that.”
He had a great head of hair, Eddie noticed as the guy brushed some of it out of his eyes before he lapsed into silence, smoking down the last bits of the cigarette. Eddie tried to keep his eyes mostly forward so he couldn’t be accused of staring. He had learned long ago that it didn’t do to let his eyes linger unless he was in very specific settings. This was not one of them.
Once again, his brain screamed at him to get up and head back inside for his final after-dinner set, and yet, without his permission, his mouth opened instead, “You wanna talk about it?”
The guy tensed again but didn’t move, “I barely want to think about it.”
Eddie shrugged, “I can understand that.”
There was silence again and the cigarettes were burning down to nothing. Eddie thought for sure that the guy would just finish the smoke and then go inside. But he snuffed out the butt and then just kept sitting there, legs kicked out and crossed at the ankle.
Eddie was about to haul himself to his feet when the guy suddenly spoke again, “You ever feel backed into a corner? Like your life is everything that’s happening in the room around you and you’re just watching it like a movie?”
Eddie took a deep breath, “Well, not sure about that exact scenario, but yeah, I guess. I grew-up in a pretty small town. Midwest. I was the hard-metal-loving, nerdy,” he pointed to his head where his long hair was currently up in a bun, “long-haired freak type. Couldn’t wait to get out.”
The guy scrubbed at his face, “I grew up in a small town too. I was the guy in school that,” his brows pinched together unhappily, “well, that guys like you probably didn’t like much. For good reason.”
Eddie raised both his eyebrows, finally looking over and letting his gaze linger, because that had been an interesting thing to say. Especially to someone you didn’t know very well. The guy turned his head when he felt Eddie’s stare and it wasn’t until they were facing one another that Eddie realized how close they were.
Eddie’s face must have been doing a complicated thing because the guy smiled ruefully, “It’s okay, you don’t have to agree with me. I’ve just been realizing a lot of painful truths about myself the last year. Might as well tell them to a stranger, you know?”
Eddie hated that he was a naturally curious person, with maybe just a hint of nosiness, “Like what?”
Pretty Boy took a deep breath and blew it out, “Like that I was a jerk for a long time. Like that I realized halfway through college that I don’t want to be like my dad, and now I’m sorta stuck. Fuck, I’ve only been out of college for like 6 months and I feel like this tie,” he pulled at the offending neck wear again, “is a weight around my damn neck.”
A defeated sigh and Eddie actually sorta felt bad for the guy, “I mean, is this,” he gestured behind him, and Eddie assumed he was referring to the event, “what I’m gonna be doing for the rest of my life?!”
Eddie hadn’t ever known all-star-letterman-jacket-jock-bros to be that introspective, so he just asked outright, “What brought all this on?”
The guy sighed again, “A girl I met.”
Well, that made a lot more sense, Eddie nodded and grinned, “Of course.”
“No, no, not like that,” the guy laughed and held up his hands in front of himself, “She’s just a friend. My best friend. We met my junior year of college. She’s smart and funny and she cannot shut up. And I hit on her, and she turned me down and it was, like, the best thing that ever happened to me because now we’re friends and she’s just given me a lot to think about the last year or so.”
Eddie glanced down at his watch and winced because he was definitely gonna be late for his next set if he stayed out here, but now he was well and truly in this stranger’s business. He hadn’t found another person interesting, all attraction aside, in a long time. Eddie suddenly just wanted to sit out here all night and talk to this guy. But he couldn’t.
“Well, guy I would have hated in high school,” Eddie started to stand, “as much as I would love to continue this little therapy session, and, honestly, I would love to, I have a final set to play.”
The guy stood up too with an abrupt motion, “Oh, yeah, of course, sorry for barging in on your solitude with my melt down.”
Eddie shook his head, “Like I said, happy to share a cig and a shoulder… to complain on,” he finished a little lamely.
Eddie held out a hand because he didn’t know what else to do, “It was nice to meet you, uh, sorry, what’s your name?”
The guy smiled and shook Eddie’s hand, “Steve. Steve Harrington.”
Eddie smiled back, “Eddie. Munson.”
“It was nice to meet you Eddie. Sorry, again.”
Eddie just waved his hands as if to say again that it was no problem and started walking backwards toward the door back into the kitchen and through to the ballroom area he was playing in. He assumed Steve would follow him in at some point to return to whatever his duties were at this stuffy corporate event.
Eddie was almost to the door when he turned back, cursing himself the whole time in his head for his weakness for pretty boys, even straight ones, “Hey, I’m probably gonna go get a drink after I’m done here. There’s a bar I know, a few blocks from here. Local joint. If you can get away.”
Steve looked a little surprised, but he also looked at Eddie like he was a lot tempted. He glanced down, seemed to be struggling with something, before he looked back up at Eddie, “I’d, um, like that. If you don’t mind me, like, harshing the vibe or whatever.”
Eddie laughed, “I don’t know about that. The vibes seem pretty okay out here so far. I’d love to keep talking about how we wouldn’t have liked one another in high school.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but Eddie also thought he caught a slight flush on his cheeks, “What’s this place called? I’ll meet you in, uh, an hour or so, if that’s cool?”
Eddie nodded, “It’s called The Upside Down. The front desk staff here can probably point you in the right direction. See you there, Steve.”
Eddie walked back into the hotel and meandered to his little stage area thinking about Steve Harrington. He got set-up again, picked up his guitar and continued with his set. At some point, Eddie looked up to see Steve, making his way across the room to where his father was beckoning him towards a group of cigar smoking men.
Eddie noticed that the tie and the suit jacket and the hair were all back in place, like he hadn’t been slumped against a concrete wall on the ground recently. Steve’s face too was perfect, a bland mask of polite acquiescence. Eddie wouldn’t have known it for the total façade it was if he hadn’t seen the version of Steve he’d just met out on the loading dock.
Eddie glanced down at the next song he was supposed to play and then back over to Steve. He transitioned into a soft version of Last Christmas instead. Halfway through the song Eddie happened to glance up and catch Steve’s eye, totally by accident. He got a soft, secret smile before Steve’s attention was pulled away. Eddie smirked to himself; the pretty preps always loved Wham!.
Despite not having said so, Eddie personally agreed with Steve that he’d been right. Eddie had certainly not cared for the Steve Harrington types of the world in high school, or even now much. And yet, he found himself looking forward to that drink later.
Eddie packed all his equipment up into his van and left it in the parking garage for the hotel, strolling the few blocks through the cold night air to The Upside Down. He’d seen Steve speaking with the few stragglers in the ballroom area after the dinner. He looked like he was in the middle of trying to convince his father and a few others that he was too tired to join them for after dinner drinks. Eddie figured he’d be along later, when he could.
When he got to the bar, he picked his usual spot on the far side and up against the wall leading to the kitchen and bathroom. It was unobtrusive and Eddie could count on not being bothered. He liked being the center of attention, but only on his terms. One of the usual bartenders was in and she slid him one of the lighter local beers they had on tap. He nodded his thanks. He’d try to drink slowly; he didn’t want to be drunk for this interaction.
He sipped and chatted a little to Chrissy, the bartender, when she wasn’t busy. The bar was full, but not crowded, and there was no live music tonight so at least they could converse without shouting. That would make it easier to talk.
He was still nursing his first beer, now only slightly cool, when the door opened, and Steve came through. He had a heavy coat on to protect him from the chill, but he removed it as he strode across the bar, and Eddie almost wished he’d kept it on. Steve had lost the suit jacket and the tie, had rolled his sleeves up his forearms, and undone a few of his top buttons. His perfectly quaffed hair had finally given up for the day and a few of the strands hung down into his eyes.
Eddie suddenly found it hard to swallow around the catch in his throat. He waved Steve over and tried to rein in his unhelpful attraction.
Steve collapsed into the bar stool, politely asking Chrissy for whatever Eddie was having. He turned to Eddie and grinned, “This place is pretty cool. You’re right, very local. I’d have never come in here if I hadn’t been looking for it.”
Eddie explained that he knew the owner; had done quite a few shows with his side project metal band a few years ago. Steve seemed super interested in Eddie’s music and career, though there wasn’t much to tell–he wasn’t a rock star. But, he was a working musician making a decent go of it, and that was a fucking miracle Eddie was grateful for every day.
Eddie tried to ask Steve about his job, but he didn’t seem very interested in talking about what he did, swearing it would make Eddie’s ears bleed to listen to it because it made Steve’s eyeballs bleed most days just from all the reports he had to read.
The conversation flowed easily for a while, surprisingly so, music, movies, Eddie’s tattoos, how Steve got his hair to stay up like that. So far, they’d stayed away from any of the heavier topics that had been touched on during their smoke break. They were just two guys in a bar talking.
Eddie felt relaxed in Steve’s presence, something often hard for him to achieve around people he didn’t know. And Steve for his part seemed relieved to have found someone that he could be himself around for the first time since leaving college for his dad’s corporate world last year.
Robin came up a few times and Steve mentioned that, though he talked to her frequently, life post-grad had taken them to different places. Steve seemed to be struggling with the separation. Eddie gathered that Robin had managed in a short amount of time to somehow become the most genuine friend Steve had ever had.
“I do wish I could meet this Robin someday,” Eddie had eventually lamented in a teasing tone, “so I can thank her for turning an all-star-letterman-jacket-jock-bro into someone I’d happily hang out with again.”
Steve gave him a lopsided grin and a chuckle, “I’m sorry, what did you just call me?”
Eddie just cackled, “All-star-letterman-jacket-jock-bro. Before you told me your name, I was just calling you that in my head.”
Steve giggled, “Shit. You know what? You’re not wrong. But, just so we’re clear, I did not play football. I was on the swim team. Well, and basketball,”.
Eddie snorted, “My extracurriculars were running the DnD club and selling weed out of a lunch box in the woods behind the football field. I got ‘ freak’ a lot. But, like, I owned it. You know?”
Steve’s nodded, “Yeah, actually, it’s like, if they already think it’s who you are, then like, fuck, you might as well use it as a shield instead of a target or something.”
Eddie felt the dangerous stirrings of longing rise from the flames of the harmless crush he’d been fanning for the last few hours, “Yeah, actually, that’s exactly it.”
Steve took a drink of beer and Eddie could feel the change in the tone, in the atmosphere around them, “If my high school had had a DnD club I would have called those kids freaks,” Steve glanced over at Eddie apologetically, “and, it’s not an excuse, but I just thought for the longest time that parroting my dad, acting like him, would make him like me.”
Steve scrubbed a hand over his face, “That’s why I crashed your break today. I needed to just not be around him. He says the worst shit. He said something today, just casually, out loud, in front of me, about how he only hires well-endowed secretaries. Like I don’t have to go home and look my mom in the face. And it’s like, now that I’m back in his fucking orbit all the time, I sorta forgot how bad it was. Or maybe he’s worse than when I was growing up. I don’t know. But, I just don’t say anything. I just laugh or try to keep my head down. And today, I just needed to get the fuck outta there for a minute.”
Steve shrugged and took another sip of his drink, “I thought I really grew as a person in college. Or at least, I was trying. But I don’t know how to be that version of myself around my parents. And I have no idea how to get out from underneath the life my father has built for me.”
Steve sighed, looking slightly panicky again, “I just feel stuck, you know?”
Eddie found himself genuinely wanting to make Steve feel better, “I mean, I don’t know what it’s like to even have parents that care enough to plan your life out, so, there’s that. But I do know what it’s like to labor under people’s expectations of you. Everyone who knew me growing up probably assumed I’d be dead or in jail by now. But, you know what? Fuck them. I worked hard to get here. And I was broke a lot. I was in some shitty situations from time to time. But I’m here.”
Steve nodded, “I should have been saving, planning, doing something, already. I should have realized sooner…” he trailed off, thinking, “Everything I have, literally everything, comes from my parents. The house. My car.”
Steve winced, “And, I mean, how pathetic does that make me? Right? You’re all self-made and shit. And I’m just some trust fund idiot.”
Eddie sat his empty pint glass down with a thud, “Hey now, none of that. We’re all on a different path up the mountain, you know? You’ve got plenty of time to be self-made. Hell, I’m still figuring shit out. Okay?”
Steve nodded, still looking a little morosely at his empty beer glass.
“And maybe I’m just playing Devil’s advocate here,” Eddie fiddled with one of the strands of his hair that had fallen loose, “but, you could stay with your rich parents and just wait them out. Start squirreling money away. Take the time to formulate a plan. Make sure you can walk away with something. Just, endure in the meantime, I guess.”
“Wait it out?” Steve looked like he was considering it.
Eddie shrugged, “Exactly, what’s a little longer? If you have a plan. If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Might make it easier to handle?”
Steve’s face scrunched up a little, a line appearing between his eyes as he frowned, “I don’t know. Last week at the breakfast table my dad went on some rant about a New York Times article about AIDS.”
Eddie froze for a minute before he relaxed again, but he wasn’t sure Steve noticed because he just kept talking, “And he basically said that those people got what was coming to them. And I got so angry. My friend Robin, she says you’re not supposed to out people to other people, but since you’ll never meet her, I think it’s okay, anyway, she’s a lesbian.”
Steve was rambling, but Eddie was hanging on every word, “And, I just thought about him basically saying people like my best friend deserve to die like that. Fuck him. I don’t know how much longer I can just smoke a cigar and smile like… like I don’t hate him. Like he wouldn’t hate me too if he knew me at all.”
Eddie wanted to hug Steve but he just bled out his nervous energy by letting his leg shake where it was propped on the rung of the bar stool and nodded once, “Okay, yeah, you’re right, that sounds terrible.”
“But, hey, here’s what I know,” Eddie waited until Steve was looking at him, his eyes seemed to be glowing a little with the neon lights from behind the bar, “you’re gonna be okay. Because despite having truly terrible parents, you managed to do something that not a lot of kids from small towns do… you worked to be better than them, to do better than them, to think better than them. And, yeah, it may take some time to work yourself out from underneath this situation, but you will.”
Eddie smiled, thought about how candid Steve had been with him tonight, and decided… fuck it, “And, as someone, um, like Robin, I’d just like to say, it’s nice to know there are still people out there who will put in the work to be informed and compassionate, instead of just spouting hateful rhetoric.”
Eddie saw Steve process the words, get stuck on what Eddie had been trying to say, figure it out, process it again, and finally give him a warm sort of grin before he said, “Thank you for trusting me with that.”
Eddie snorted, “Did Robin tell you to say that next time someone came out to you?”
Steve grinned even wider, “I practiced it and everything.”
Eddie grinned back, shaking his head, and thinking that Steve Harrington continued to be nothing like Eddie had expected and it was doing fuck all to extinguish the growing, stupid, ill-timed want creeping up on him. It didn’t matter. Again, he tried to remind himself, Steve was straight. And they were ships passing in the night.
Crissy replenished their beers and Steve seemed to have lapsed back into some deep thoughts, so Eddie let him sit with them for a bit while he glanced around, people-watching.
Steve seemed to finally shake himself out of his own head, turning on his barstool to face Eddie again with the look of someone who had made up his mind about something, “When did you know, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Eddie froze again, with his new beer pressed to his mouth. He took a sip and tried to make sure he was clear Steve was asking him what he thought he was asking him, “Know what?”
Steve glanced around as if checking that their little corner of the bar was still private, “That you liked guys? I’ve talked to Robin about some stuff, but she’s a lesbian, and it’s different, and she’s the only gay person I know. Well, until now.”
Eddie took a big gulp, giving himself some time to think while he swallowed. When he spoke, he tried to keep his voice light and neutral, but he angled his body towards Steve’s to match the other man’s stance, “Are you asking out of an academic curiosity or a personal curiosity?”
Eddie could see, even in the dimness of the bar, the slight red that bled into Steve’s cheeks, but he spoke with a soft firmness, “If I’m being honest, I think more, the, um, personal one.”
Well, okay, Eddie thought, maybe Pretty Boy was not like 100% straight. Huh.
Eddie smiled kindly, “Well, what age did you start noticing girls? Like 5th… 6th grade? You started to notice how cute they were and maybe their hair smelled good, and their lips were glossy or whatever.”
Steve nodded and kept drinking his beer, not turning away from Eddie, but not looking at him directly, “Okay, so, about that age, I was noticing that this one boy in my class had hair that looked really soft, and I wanted to, like, touch it. Which, ok, maybe not so weird on its own, but I just kept noticing things like that. I had no interest in girls. They were, frankly, terrifying.”
Eddie shrugged, “It’s hard to really explain, but at a certain point I just knew I was different. Then my mom died, and my dad ended up in jail after that. My uncle took me in. He was good for me. Good to me. But I really leaned into the ‘being different’ thing. Loud. Theatrical. Nerdy. Metal. Being gay was just one more thing that set me apart, even if I never told anyone. I just wanted to get outta dodge, you know?”
Steve nodded slowly like he was still taking in what Eddie had said, “I guess I always just told myself that I looked at guys on the TV or in the locker room because I was comparing myself to them. It wasn’t that I was appreciating their body, I just was… jealous? Like, thinking ‘that guy has some nice abs. I wish I had abs like that.’ But then I’d think about touching the guy's abs. And that seemed like too much. So, I just pushed it down. Or aside maybe?”
Eddie shrugged, “Makes sense. A lot of people do that until they can’t anymore.”
Steve winced, “Yeah, and I guess it was easier because I liked, or do like, women. I mean, I do know that for sure. So, I could just focus on that.”
Eddie smiled, “So, you’re bi?”
Steve took a deep breath, “That’s what Robin called it. When you like both, right?”
Eddie nodded and took another sip of his beer so he wouldn’t smile too big and let Steve get the wrong impression that he was laughing at him. It was just sort of adorable. Eddie hung with a very particular crowd these days, and he hadn’t had to help anyone out of the closet, or come out to anyone, in a while, “Yeah man, bisexual.”
Steve bit his bottom lip, “Then, yes, I mean, you’re only like the second person I’ve ever said it to. But, yes, I’m bi.”
Eddie did give into his grin finally, “Good for you.”
Steve smiled softly, “Thanks. Of course, it’s all theoretical for now, I guess. I’ve never…”
He trailed off and Eddie tried not to choke on his beer or say something reactionary and foolish. Steve shrugged and stared at his beer almost as if he was talking to himself, “It’s not like… even if I’d figured this shit out sooner… that there were any of those sorts of opportunities in nowheresville, Indiana. I guess… college… but…”
“Wait! You’re from Indiana?” Eddie set his glass down with a thud, feeling bad for interrupting but shocked.
“Uh, yeah, little place called Hawkins, you’ve probably never heard of it.”
“Fuck yes I have. I’m from Midland.”
“No fucking way,” Steve breathed out, shocked.
“What are the odds?” Eddie laughed.
“What are the fucking odds?” Steve laughed too and clinked his glass against Eddie’s, “To getting out of small towns.”
They talked for another hour after that about where they grew up and moving to a big city, the culture shock. The things they missed about small towns and the things they definitely didn’t. They talked about the county fair. What are the odds? Eddie thought as he listened to Steve tell a story about throwing up on a girl in middle school at the top of the ferris wheel.
The Christmas lights hung behind the bar gave Steve an otherworldly, soft look and Eddie worked to memorize his smile and his laugh and this night. They both eventually decided to call it a night and Steve insisted on paying for the drinks, “Dude, you let me crash your smoke break, then you saved me from death by boredom in my hotel room.”
Eddie thought about that, “You don’t live in Chicago?”
Steve rolled his eyes, “Oh, I do, in the suburbs really, but when we do these functions, my dad uses it as an excuse to crash at the hotel, have a night out I guess, I don’t know. He insisted we get rooms in the city, so we didn’t have to drive home tonight.”
Eddie pulled his leather jacket closer around him as they left the bar, “Oh, well, in that case, do you want to walk back with me to the hotel? My van is in the parking deck off the ballroom entrance.”
Steve agreed and they kept up the easy banter as they strolled. Once they made it back to the hotel, they stood off to the side of the entrance, lingering on the street.
Eddie held up his pack of cigs, “One more for the road?”
Steve smiled and nodded, “Sure.”
Eddie lit the cigarette, cupping his hands to protect the flame from the biting winter wind. He let his thoughts drift as he ruminated on the evening and on Steve.
He tried to find all that performative charm and courage he normally wore on stage like armor, “We could…” he started, but let himself trail off.
Steve’s head tilted to the side, enjoying his own cigarette, his eyes narrowing a bit, “We could what?” He seemed genuinely curious.
Eddie made it a point not to look at Steve, staring off across to the other side of the street, “Well, I’m not exactly a stranger as of a few hours ago. But you’ll definitely never see me again. I mean, if you’re not interested, then that’s fine,” Eddie held his hands up and sort of shrugged, “but, you know, if you wanted to have a less theoretical experience… I just…” Eddie trailed off.
He just, what? He just wanted to make sure Steve had a good first time with a guy? Whatever his exact motivations were here, he didn’t want to examine them too closely for his own sanity. Eddie had been letting his brain feel out this exact scenario in his head since their conversation in the bar and he hadn’t seen an ending to this evening where he didn’t at least offer.
Steve grinned, “wow, is this what I sounded like in high school trying to convince all the girls that only I could show them a good time?”
Eddie laughed, “did it work?”
Steve shrugged, “sometimes.”
Eddie finally let himself do more than glance at Steve, he turned his full attention on him, smiling a little “is it working now?”
Steve smiled back, “maybe.”
Steve bit his bottom lip and Eddie wanted to eat him whole, “so, is this like a purely selfless endeavor on your part?” he asked.
Eddie reached up, letting himself finally brush a hand through that damned hair he’d been eyeing all evening, sweeping a few pieces behind Steve’s ear, “I didn’t say that Big Boy.”
Steve shivered and Eddie didn’t think it had anything to do with the wind picking up around them. He shifted his weight and let his gaze hang heavy over Eddie as they finished smoking. Steve seemed to really be thinking about what he wanted and not just acting on impulse, which Eddie appreciated. This was a delicate dance they were doing.
Finally, smoke break over, Steve took a considering breath, bit his bottom lip for just a second and said, “you know, you shouldn’t drive if you’ve had too much to drink, and I have a perfectly comfortable room.”
Eddie smiled, trying not to let the sudden burst of nervous excitement show, “lead the way.”
The elevator speakers were pumping out Last Christmas when they entered, and they both huffed a laugh as Steve pressed one of the top floor buttons. Eddie stayed on his side of the elevator, but he let his eyes linger on Steve; now that he was allowed to, he let his gaze grow hungrier. When he finally looked back into Steve’s eyes, he found a similar fire burning in his gaze.
Eddie was buzzing just a little from all the possibilities the night held as Steve let them into his room. He’d be lying if he said he’d thought offering that cigarette was going to land him here, but Eddie had never been one to question side quests when they arose across the path of life.
Steve kicked his shoes off at the door, so Eddie followed suit; Steve’s room was… nice. Not quite the penthouse suite, but it was bigger than any hotel room Eddie had ever stayed in.
Steve noticed Eddie glancing around with wide eyes, and scratched the back of his neck self-consciously, “I always just tell my dad’s secretary to get me a regular room and she never does, so…”
Eddie smiled, “so if I drink out of the minibar, your dad picks up the tab?”
Steve smirked back, “knock yourself out.”
Steve seemed appropriately nervous given what they’d come up here to do, but Eddie wasn’t in any rush, so he moved to the minifridge and grabbed a beer. Steve mumbled something about the bathroom and disappeared. Eddie settled on the couch, kicking his legs up onto the coffee table, took a swig of the very overpriced beer, and considered how best to go about getting the sexual tension back to where it had been during that elevator ride.
After a few minutes, he heard the shower cut on. Curious. He wondered if Steve was the type to like feeling clean before having sex, if he was stalling for time, freaking out, or all of the above. Eddie thought through all the options in his head. Steve had never been with a man, which of course was the whole reason Eddie was here. But Eddie wasn’t sure if he should treat Steve with kid gloves. He was a grown man, capable of making decisions and of stating plainly if he changed his mind at any point.
Decision made, Eddie put the beer down, stood up and made his way toward the bathroom door, already losing most of his clothes in the process. He knocked softly and opened the door a crack to call out for Steve, “hey, Steve, do you mind if I join you?”
Eddie thought he heard Steve mumble something about ripping a bandage off and he wanted to chuckle, but he waited instead. After a moment he heard a firm, “sure, yeah.”
He stepped through into the steamy bathroom, dropping his briefs. Eddie reached up to the hair tie holding his hair back, pulling it out and throwing it down on the counter. He peered into the obscenely large shower to find Steve looking back at him through the glass doors.
Eddie could feel himself getting semi-hard just looking at Steve’s naked, lithe form as the hot water fell in rivulets down his body. He was just as breath-taking as Eddie had known he’d be. Eddie opened the door and stepped into the shower, careful not to crowd into Steve’s space too quickly and spook him.
Steve’s hair was still dry, but he moved aside to share the hot spray with Eddie, inviting him in closer without words. A wet hand came up to touch Eddie’s curls as Steve smiled, “it’s nice to see what it looks like down.”
Eddie smiled back, working to find the push and pull here between them, “it’s a pain sometimes but, hey, it’s metal.”
Steve laughed, “I like it.”
Eddie ran his gaze all along Steve’s body but made sure to end with his hair before looking directly into his eyes to say, “I like yours too.”
Steve shivered but surprised Eddie by stepping closer and turning his body into Eddie’s, bringing his hands up to run along Eddie’s arms and shoulders. Eddie felt confident in reaching out in turn, putting his hands on Steve’s hips with a firm grip and rubbing circles with his thumb into the v-shape of Steve’s hip bones.
They were both a little lost in taking in each other’s bodies. For Steve, Eddie was sure, it was the first time he’d been allowed to really look, unhurried and unabashed, at another man’s body this close-up and in the flesh, so to speak. He let the moment hang before looking into Steve’s eyes, to make sure he had his attention.
Eddie took a short, deep breath and tried to check in without ruining the mood, “how you doing?”
Steve bit his bottom lip but nodded, his hands roaming across the plains of Eddie’s chest, fingers tracing the lines of the tattoos he found there, “I’m good. I… you’re really hot… I like… the tattoos.”
Eddie wiggled his eyebrows, “flattery will get you everywhere.”
Steve snorted a laugh, seeming to sway just a millimeter closer into Eddie’s space, and Eddie wanted to close the distance so badly, but he had to say one last thing before he gave in, “you want to stop at any time, no matter where we are in the evening, you just say stop, and that’s it. No questions. No judgment.”
Steve nodded, a soft smile on his lips, “yeah, I… thanks.”
With nothing left to hold him back, Eddie pressed in, pulling Steve to him until their bodies were flush and their growing arousals were brushing against one another. Steve gave a slight gasp and Eddie sealed their mouths together, pressing his advantage and moving his lips against Steve’s.
If Eddie had been asked ahead of time how he thought things were going to continue to go, he would have said about how they’d gone so far; with Steve being excited but hesitant and Eddie leading him through the motions of what they could do together, whatever Steve wanted to explore tonight.
What Eddie hadn’t given a lot of thought to, was the obvious fact that Steve was only a virgin in very specific ways. He was clearly not a virgin in many other ways. Anyway, Eddie’s brain helpfully supplied, virginity was a construct. And, sure, at some point they were going to start doing things that Eddie had way more experience in than Steve. But, right now, kissing? Steve was maybe the best make out partner Eddie had ever had. No contest.
Once Eddie initiated, Steve let himself relax and enjoy what was happening, letting his instincts take over. Eddie felt Steve’s poise return as their tongues danced, clearly finding ease in doing an activity he felt confident in. Steve nibbled at Eddie’s bottom lip and moved a hand into his hair to give a light tug, earning him a moan from Eddie that Steve returned into the kiss.
Liking Eddie’s reaction, Steve pulled a little harder, making Eddie hiss in pleasure and tilt his head back. Steve took advantage of Eddie’s exposed neck, using his tongue to lick up the water droplets as he nipped and sucked a path from behind Eddie’s ear all the way to his collarbone.
Eddie moved his hands up, ghosting his fingers across Steve’s nipples and earning a shudder and a moan. Steve pulled back to look at Eddie with a hint of surprise across his features, which made Eddie smirk.
He touched them again, with more pressure this time, giving a slight pinch to the left one, “feel good? None of those girls ever played with your tits?”
Steve laughed, but Eddie could see the hint of a blush threatening high on his cheeks, “well, no, but maybe I’d have asked if I had known it felt like that.”
Eddie smiled and went back to kissing Steve, wanting to give as good as he got this time. He moved his hands toward Steve’s back, circling his arms around to put one hand on Steve’s upper back and the other on the back of his neck to hold him flush to Eddie as he fucked his tongue into his mouth.
Steve went lax in Eddie’s grip, letting him take the lead. He seemed to be making an effort to not wrestle Eddie back for control of the kiss. Eddie imagined it could be hard to adjust to not leading when you’d been conditioned to that role for all of your sexual history. Eddie kept a grip on the back of Steve’s neck but trailed his other hand around and down to feel where they were both hard and pressed together.
Steve jumped almost imperceptibly and gasped into the kiss but then relaxed into Eddie again. Steve broke the kiss to look down at where Eddie’s hand was now moving teasingly over his cock. Eddie let Steve be curious, relishing in the feel of Steve in his hand. He had a nice dick and Eddie wanted to get it in his mouth.
“How about, I give you a blow job,” Eddie watched as Steve’s attention refocused on his face, his expression still a little glazed with mounting pleasure.
Eddie waited for Steve to say yes, but then he seemed to change his mind, getting that slightly hesitant look about him before he said, “I was actually thinking, um, that I’d like to try to do that to you?”
It came out like a question, but Eddie applauded Steve’s daring. He was certainly trying to make the most of the evening that Eddie had basically offered up to him. Again, Eddie had prejudged the situation maybe a little in his own mind. He clearly needed to stop underestimating Steve and making assumptions. It seemed there were clearly things that Steve had been considering, maybe even fantasizing about. And Eddie was more than willing to make those dreams a reality.
“I would love that,” he leaned in to press a quick kiss to Steve’s lips, “but you should definitely give your first blow job somewhere more comfortable.”
Eddie reached to turn the shower off, “trust me, hard surfaces can be hell on your knees.”
They toweled off and moved into the bedroom, Steve pulling down the covers of the large bed and motioning for Eddie to get in. Eddie settled on his back, slightly propped on the pillows so he had an excellent view of Steve as the other man laid between his legs.
Steve looked up at Eddie through his lashes and then back down at where Eddie was standing erect, “I like…”
Steve trailed off for a minute and Eddie brought one hand down from behind his head to run his fingers through Steve’s hair, “you like…” he prompted.
“I like when girls tell me exactly what to do. Even after I got good at it, it was nice to have direction,” Steve finished.
Eddie tried to act relaxed and in control, ignoring the parts of his mind that were considering all the things he could infer about Steve from that singular comment, and how much Eddie wanted to explore them, “you want me to tell you how to please me?”
Steve nodded and relaxed just a little, like he had been concerned Eddie wouldn’t want to provide him with directions. And, sure, some people didn’t like to talk during sex. But Eddie had never been one of those people.
So, Eddie instructed. And Steve was… an excellent student. He blossomed under praise. Eddie wanted to spend the entire night and the next night and the whole week and possibly, dare he allow himself the thought, a very long time after that giving Steve the sort of bedroom experience that Eddie was now convinced Steve would love.
Unfortunately, this one evening together, and Steve’s newness to sex with men, was only allowing Eddie to skip across the surface of the way their sexual needs could fit together like puzzle pieces.
Steve moved his hand up and down the base of Eddie’s cock to meet his mouth, using both in tandem the way Eddie had instructed him. It was easier for a beginner to do it this way and it felt great, “fuck yes, like that. So good baby.”
The baby had slipped out, but Steve just moaned, and Eddie watched as Steve’s hips shifted restlessly against the bed. It was fucking doing it for Eddie that Steve seemed to be enjoying this new experience so much.
And fuck it if it sounded trite, what they said about enthusiasm versus experience, but it was true. Because, sure, experience could get you there quicker, and maybe more creatively. But there was something to be said for getting head from someone who was just committed to figuring it out and doing whatever you told them to.
Eddie pulled at Steve’s hair, not hard enough to hurt or to control his movement, but just to get his attention, “Steve, I’m close.”
Steve pulled his mouth away but kept his hand moving. His eyes going back and forth between Eddie’s dick and his face. He swiped his thumb over the tip and then sped up his rhythm. Eddie threw an arm over his face as his hips started making little aborted thrusts up into Steve’s fist. Steve squeezed the hand currently around Eddie’s cock and then swiped the flat of his tongue right over the head. And that was it, Eddie came with a long groan, eyes squeezed shut.
Eddie was currently breathing heavily through the rushing in his ears and the buzz in his brain, but he thought he heard Steve mutter, “fuck.” He then felt small kitten licks across his abdomen and looked down to see Steve making a considering expression.
“God, get up here and kiss me,” Eddie tugged at Steve who slid up willingly enough and let Eddie pull him down into a kiss to taste himself on Steve’s tongue.
After a moment though, he pushed and rolled until Steve was under him and then Eddie sat up into Steve’s lap, his knees bracketing his hips and Steve’s still very much hard length pressing up against where Eddie was soft. But not for long.
He trailed his hands up and down Steve’s chest as he spoke and ground down lightly just to hear Steve’s breath catch a little, “what do you want next? I can blow you. I could walk you through how to fuck me or I could fuck you?”
Steve’s hands gripped at Eddie’s hips even as a crease appeared in his brow as if he was just realizing something, “I don’t have anything. Well, I have a condom in my wallet, I think. But, I mean, I know I’m new to this, but don’t we need, um, lube?”
Eddie climbed off Steve and walked over to his boots where they sat by the door still, “yes, but, great news, I have some lube in my shoe,” and he pulled out a small tube of petroleum jelly.
Steve looked shocked, “You just happened to have that?”
Eddie shrugged, “Thought I might go out later after my set and I wanted to be prepared. Guess I was right about where I’d end up, if not how I’d get there.”
Steve smirked, “Are there condoms in the other boot?”
Eddie laughed, “Don’t be silly, those are in my wallet.”
Steve barked out a laugh from where he was still propped up on his forearms, laid out unashamedly, naked and hard and waiting, “My bad, of course they are.”
Eddie went digging through his pants pockets and finally came back to the bed with all the necessary supplies. He tossed everything down and gently wrapped a hand around Steve’s ankle, rubbing a thumb over the delicate skin and then moving up his leg as he climbed back onto the mattress.
Eddie pressed his mouth and teeth into Steve’s inner thigh as he knelt between his legs, “So, again, how do you want this to go?”
Steve looked fucked out already, panting a little with each touch and kiss Eddie bestowed upon him, “I want to try it. You… in me.”
Eddie smiled, “Sure thing, Pretty Boy. You don’t like it, we can always switch.”
Steve bit at his lip, a nervous habit Eddie noticed, “Do you do that a lot? Switch?”
Eddie moved to pick up the lube, “Not often, no. But I have before.”
Steve accepted that answer, laying back down and letting his body relax, waiting for Eddie to take the lead. Eddie looked at Steve spread out beneath him and thought fa la la la fuck yes . Merry Christmas to him. He was going to have to get his agent flowers for booking him into this holiday party.
He wanted to worship Steve. He wanted to make this so good for him that even if he never slept with another man again, he’d have no regrets about this night. About trying all this with Eddie. Someone he barely knew.
Eddie settled between Steve’s legs, “I’m going to make you cum so you’re more relaxed and then we’re going to try the prep part. You gotta let me know if you need me to change something or stop, okay?”
Steve nodded, “Yeah, okay. I can go again pretty quickly.”
Eddie looked down at where he was already starting to get hard again, “No rush, we have all night.”
Eddie would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he wanted to show off a little for Steve, so he licked his lips, took a deep breath, and then put Steve’s dick in his mouth, kept going until he hit the back of Eddie’s throat. The shout and full body shudder it earned him didn’t help the smugness he felt. He was good at this, and he knew it.
It didn’t take long to get Steve to cum down his throat and Eddie reveled in the blissed out, relaxed expression on Steve’s face while he got some lube onto his fingers and tried to warm it up a little. He took his time just lightly touching Steve, rubbing and barely pressing in with the pads of his fingers. When that only got him a few moans and restless hip tilts, he figured it was safe to start slowly pushing first one, then two fingers in.
Eddie looked down from time to time to see what he was doing, but mostly he kept his eyes on Steve’s face, though part of it was obstructed by his arm thrown across his eyes. It seemed he was having a hard time making direct eye contact with Eddie, but that was fine because Steve answered him every time he checked in.
“How does that feel, baby?” he dropped that word again, but Eddie didn’t think Steve minded.
Steve was making these small, breathy moans and trying to move his hips back towards Eddie’s fingers every time he pulled out, “It’s better now, more good, less just weird.”
Eddie grinned, “That’s good. It’s gonna feel even better soon, I promise.”
Having dragged this out long enough, he thought, Eddie went a little deeper and started looking for Steve’s prostate. Most straight men didn’t think of theirs until it became medically necessary. He’d bet, unless he’d gotten experimental on himself, that Steve hadn’t ever had his touched. Eddie found it quickly, pressing and rubbing a little.
“Ohmyfuckinggod,” Steve’s abs contracted, and his eyes flew open to look at Eddie.
Eddie grinned, “That’s your prostate, Big Boy.”
Eddie started thrusting three fingers in and out of Steve’s body, working to stroke over that place that had Steve seeing stars every few thrusts. Once Steve was fully hard again Eddie slipped his fingers out and reached for the condom, trying to put it on and get lube on himself without coming before he was inside Steve. Steve who was so hot and so trusting and looking up at Eddie like he’d let him do just about anything to him right now. Eddie just wanted to make Steve cum again.
Eddie leaned down, pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s mostly slack mouth, “Turnover for me.”
Steve seemed to be processing things in slow motion, “Turnover?”
“Yeah, trust me, okay? It’s gonna be better and you’ll feel more in control to pull away if I do something you don’t like,” Eddie knew it was better this way, but fuck did he wish he could watch Steve’s face as he fucked him.
Steve turned over like he had been told and lifted to get his knees up under him. Eddie put his palms on Steve’s ridiculously good-looking ass for a minute before putting one on his hip to steady him and using the other to guide himself into Steve’s waiting body.
He went slow, coached Steve to breathe and relax, and barely pushed in before pulling back out and pushing back in again. Eddie moaned at the tight heat around his cock, but he focused solely on making this good for Steve.
“Doing so good for me, baby,” Eddie had given up trying to keep himself from word-vomiting pet names all over Steve, “Tell me how it feels.”
Steve moaned and pushed back just a little, his face pressed into his arms and the sheet, “It’s like when I stretch a little too far and the muscle pulls.”
“That’s your body adjusting,” Eddie paused, almost all the way in, “Do you want to stop?”
Steve shook his head and Eddie watched the muscles in his back contracting as he worked to relax, “No, keep… keep going.”
Eddie continued to work himself slowly into Steve’s body until he was all the way in, then he just held himself still, waiting for Steve.
Eddie reached around with his free hand and started stroking Steve back from semi-hard to hard, “Take your time baby.”
Steve took a few shuddering breaths, moving his hips just a little into Eddie’s hand, shifting Eddie’s cock inside of him. They both moaned.
“You can move now,” Steve pushed back into the cradle of Eddie’s hips.
Eddie didn’t need to be told twice, he pulled out and pushed back in a few agonizingly slow times before he picked up the pace. He held Steve’s hips and started rolling into him with shorter, faster thrusts, working to find his prostate again. He brushed it a few times, felt Steve jerk and groan, grind back to try and prolong the feeling.
Before long they were well and truly fucking. Steve, no longer shy, asked Eddie for harder and faster. Eddie wasn’t sure he was going to make it. The noises Steve was making, the tight clutch of his body around Eddie’s cock, knowing that he was giving Steve this experience for the very first time, it was all really fucking doing it for him.
Eddie leaned over, pressing his tongue and lips and teeth to Steve’s upper back, sucking marks as he reached around and started jerking Steve off again, “Come on baby, cum for me. I wanna feel it.”
Eddie heard Steve suck in a breath and then shudder, coming almost silently into the sheets and over Eddie’s hand. Eddie lifted back up to his knees, grabbed Steve’s hips and ground his pelvis into Steve’s ass and came with a groaned out, “Fuck.”
For just a minute there was only the loud, heaving sound of their breathing. Eddie tried to pull out as gently as possible and helped tip Steve slowly to lie on his side. He left the bed for a moment to get rid of the condom and to get a warm, wet washcloth for Steve to clean up with. He handed it over and Steve murmured a thanks.
Normally Eddie loved to take care of his partners afterward, but cleaning Steve up seemed just a little too intimate for a first time. Even after everything they’d just done together.
Steve tossed the washcloth and Eddie got back into bed. They lay facing each other, coming down from the high of orgasm in mostly comfortable silence.
Finally, Steve smiled, his eyes lighting up mischievously, “Well, I guess it’s not theoretical anymore.”
Eddie grinned back, “You are definitely bi. Congrats.”
“Thanks, I guess,” Steve seemed to think about it and then laughed, “Or, yeah, actually, thanks a lot. For that,” he gestured between them with a chuckle.
Eddie let out a little laugh back, rolling his eyes a bit, “Steve, the pleasure was literally mine.”
Steve moved onto his back, taking a deep breath, his eyelids already fluttering heavily, “Feel free to crash here, but also don’t feel, um, obligated to stay.”
Eddie rolled to his back too, finally feeling the effects of his long day and night, plus the alcohol, “Thanks, I don’t feel like moving. I’ll get outta your hair in the morning.”
Steve turned his head, his face open and honest, “Seriously, Eddie, I… this was… great… I…”
Eddie sat up and leaned over, pressed a gentle kiss to Steve’s lips before moving to lay back down, “Hey, I get it, okay?”
Steve smiled sleepily, letting his eyes close, “Yeah, okay.”
Eddie punched the pillow a few times and wiggled to find a comfortable position. Before he knew it, Steve’s soft, even breaths were lulling him into a deep, restful sleep.
Steve rolled over the next morning, his brain coming back online as many, many muscles in his body protested his movement. He reached toward the other side of the bed only to find it cold. Blearily, he blinked a few times and sat up, looking at the bedside table to see a note.
Of course. He couldn’t say he wasn’t disappointed, but he figured it was probably better this way. Steve reached for the piece of paper and rolled back over, only then allowing himself to read the messy scrawl.
Merry Christmas, Pretty Boy!
Make a New Year’s resolution to break free. You deserve good things.
Say hi to Robin for me when you tell her this story.
It was one hell of a smoke break.
Eddie