Chapter Text
It’s the sixth year Felix is sticking around for the Christmas holidays, and he’s still awestruck when he steps into the lavishly decorated Great Hall. The candles drifting high above, throwing twisted shadows onto the ceiling, make him gawk like the excited child he was during his first year. Enchanted snow serenely falls from above, catching in his hair and robes. A handful drop onto his outstretched hand, disintegrating slowly.
The teachers adorned the four tables stretching the lengths of the Great Hall with red-golden fabrics and glittering odds and ends. Little snowmen, reindeers, presents, and tree ornaments drift through the air, glowing, and twinkling in the orange candlelight. The smell of nectarines and cinnamon hangs in the air.
He loves Christmas time at Hogwarts.
Most have gone home already, some of his friends too. Jisung tried to convince him to join his family‘s celebrations, but Felix had stayed here for six years already; he has only two more chances to experience this. He searches along the almost forsaken Gryffindor table, waving to a few familiar faces.
In the end, he makes his way to the Hufflepuff table, joining Hyunjin and Jeongin.
“How was Divination?” Hyunjin asks with a smirk once Felix sits and serves himself with a bowl of hot soup.
He gives the Hufflepuff an exhausted look.
Every year during this time, classes become more basic and teach all years together. It’s only two more days, and Felix rarely has Divination, but this year no one’s save from Trelawney.
It’s not that he deems fortune-telling to be stupid – it’s just that he’s majorly bad at it. During the last few lessons, Trelawney had them do crystal ball and tea leaf readings, as well as dream interpretation. Felix followed her directions to the tee. Yet all the outcomes he predicted had been horrible. Not bad, or lukewarm, just plain awful - nightmares, pain, and death.
He couldn’t blame her. She was teaching Divination with a passion, after all. She must believe he cursed her classroom.
Meanwhile, all Felix could do was scowl at yet another forecast of his timely death.
He didn’t believe any of it – clearly, he was doing something wrong.
With a sigh, he covers half his face in his hand.
“I think Trelawney is going to ban me from the classroom. She asked me to pick tarot cards after class, and everything I pulled meant death and pain. Thought she was going to faint.”
Jeongin gives him a nervous glance.
“I don’t know how you can be so calm about it. Aren’t you afraid something will happen to you?”
Hyunjin snorts.
“You think he’s going to get killed chilling with us during Christmas? Death by candy, or what?”
This gets the younger Hufflepuff to plunge into a semi-heated speech about how Divination is a sacred practice and that there’s a reason it’s being taught in Hogwarts.
Felix listens for a minute, skilfully ignoring Hyunjin’s help-searching glance, before focusing his attention back on his food. Trelawney mentioned they’d do palm reading tomorrow. With Felix’s track-record he’ll probably not find a partner. It didn’t help that Gryffindors were mixed with Slytherins for Christmas lessons this year. Felix had no friends in Slytherin, and his usual partner was Jisung, a Gryffindor.
From the little friend group Chan had gathered around him before he graduated, only Changbin and Minho were Slytherins. Felix wasn’t close with either of them. They’d regularly see and sometimes talk with another, but Minho wasn’t his wavelength and Changbin-
Changbin was kind, but quiet. Not one to start a conversation of his own accord. Incredible at Quidditch and most other classes.
Aside from Herbology, the class Felix excelled in.
Felix bites down a grin, remembering a few select classes in which he had to save Changbin’s various limbs from being munched on. Magical plants were not his forte, but that was fine. Changbin and he had an unspoken agreement between them – Felix would partner with him in Herbology while Changbin would partner with him in Potions. One hand shakes the other.
Of course, that’s not the reason Felix isn’t closer with Changbin. He can’t say what exactly it is, to be honest. They clicked well whenever their projects had them spend time outside of classes. Small talk came easy, and smiles were a given, yet whenever a project was over, they’d go right back to being distant friends, at most.
It didn’t help that during his third year, Felix developed a rapidly deepening crush on Changbin. For a while, his nerves kept him from spending time around with Slytherin. When he grew out of the timidity in his fourth year, he’d taken his alleged Gryffindor courage and prepared to ask Changbin to teach him Quidditch to deepen their friendship.
His nerves got the better of him and he’d burnt off Changbin’s eyebrows and most of his hair in a freak accident during Potions.
He took his failure as the harbinger it was and accepted that, maybe, it meant his crush was supposed to slow cook in his brain forever. Jisung said it wasn’t a Gryffindor thing to do, but Felix had only so much dignity.
“Are you sleeping enough, Lix?” Hyunjin pulls him out of his thoughts. “You’ve got, like, the biggest eye bags I’ve seen in a while.” Hyunjin taps the space below his own eye.
He had wondered if they were obvious.
“Just the usual nightmares, no worries.”
Felix had phases in which sleep was difficult. His friends knew. The last handful of days had just been rougher than he was used to. He blamed it on his now empty dorm room.
“Your roommates are all gone, right? Why don’t Jinnie and I sleep over during the holidays?”
“You’d do that?” Felix gives them a hopeful look.
.
With the prospect of his two friends easing his nightmares, Felix bounds to his last class for the day: Herbology.
Professor Sprout gives him a warm smile when he enters the greenhouse. The smell of the plants, humid air, and dung makes his Divination-induced knots of stress loosen. Despite his own growing collection of plants – normal and magical alike – being in the greenhouse has a special atmosphere he craves. If he didn’t have to share his room with three others, he’d turn it into a greenhouse, too.
Sadly, because of the various knowledge levels in their class, they won’t be doing anything special today. Professor Sprout talks about perfect humidity levels, offering the upper-years to prune a few of the limb-chewing plants - if they dare. Felix opts for pruning naturally, slinking away from the others.
He already got his hands in a pair of dragon-hide gloves when a figure comes up to him.
Felix’s heart lurches when he sees who.
“I’ll help.” Changbin whispers, as to not disturb the class. He reaches out to help Felix with his left glove, pulling it all the way down. Felix helps him too, and they both walk to the adjacent room.
They fall into their work quietly; Changbin helping when Felix needs a hand, but not touching anything otherwise. This is how they usually do; working in companionable silence. If only Felix’s heart would stop faltering whenever their gloved fingers touch, or when Changbin scoots over further to reach the parts Felix needs him to hold. It would make existing a lot easier.
They prune a feisty plant, which Changbin needs to restrain with both his hands. Felix clips off a few leaves growing out of place when the Slytherin speaks up.
“You think Trelawney will let you read someone’s palm?”
Felix stiffens, reminding himself that Changbin is in those darned Divination classes, too, and that he must’ve heard about his slight misfortune at this point.
“I wouldn’t mind reading her palm.” He says with a pout. “I don’t understand how all my predictions always end up being so rotten.”
Changbin chuckles, bending a branch out of Felix’s way unprompted.
“Don’t let it get to you. Min’s are always so-so, too.”
“At least Minho-hyung’s crystal balls don’t explode.”
Changbin winces. “That shard in your palm looked painful.” He peers at Felix’s left hand in concern. “Does it still hurt?”
“It was luckily not too deep. Madam Pomfrey fixed me right up.” He makes a fist and opens it a few times to prove his point.
Changbin hums, looking at him with an uncharacteristically gentle smile.
“That’s good. I figured that was the case when I saw you catching snowflakes earlier, in the Great Hall.” He snickers at the embarrassed whine Felix makes. “What? You do it every year - always staring with starry eyes at all the decorations.”
“Hyung- “Felix feels his ears burn. He didn’t know Changbin had been watching him. For years. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not making fun of you!” Changbin sounds panicked for a moment, dropping his grip on the branch he’d been holding. Felix yelps, finding the teeth-proof-gloves not all that effective as the newly freed plant chomps down hard.
“Shit, sorry.” Changbin tears the little miscreant away from Felix’s hand. “Did it hurt you bad?”
Felix rubs his thumb.
“Stung less than you laughing at my excitement.” He gives him a dour look.
“I’m not laughing at you!“ Changbin presses while wrestling the plant away. “It’s cute! I enjoy seeing your eyes shine with this- “He looks lost for words, “-this pure, innocent excitement.”
Felix chokes, eyes flitting towards him, but Changbin stubbornly stares at their little problem. His heart surges either way, seeing the soft dust of colour on the other’s cheeks. He never thought Changbin wasted these kinds of thoughts on him.
He bites his lips, not hiding his radiant smile even a little as he makes to help Changbin get the plant back under control. They rotate it, twisting branches until Felix can clip away the rest of the growth.
“How about you read my palm tomorrow?” Changbin suggests mid-cut, sounding shy, catching Felix’s eyes in the purple-lit room. Felix hears his pulse in his ears.
“Hyung, I’d rather not you lose your hand.” He deadpans.
Changbin laughs, waving him off.
“It’ll be fine. How likely is that even? I would have a higher chance of finding you sleepwalk.”
Felix grins; not willing to fight Changbin’s offer too hard.
“I bet.”
They prune another three plants during the rest of the class.
.
He lies in bed that night with Hyunjin to his left and Jeongin to his right, both fast asleep, while his mind still spins. His fingers curl around the chain of the amulet Jisoo gifted him a few days back. The delicate gemstone lies warm on his chest, soaking up his body heat.
At least Divination won’t be so bad knowing that Changbin will partner up with him. Palmistry can be confusing because of its complexity. Having someone patient and calm with him will help. Were his crush on Changbin not as big, he might actually profit from the others gentle personality.
Just thinking about holding Changbin’s hand between his, tracing the lines on his palm, feeling the warmth of his skin – it has cold sweat prickle at the base of his neck. Anticipation curling in his stomach, viscous, gooey, but with enough adrenaline that it keeps him awake.
It should worry him that his feelings for the Slytherin haven’t cooled at all during these years, rather, they seem to grow.
He falls into a fitful sleep, eventually, hours later, dreaming of odd faces, all torn apart and crippled. Colours, black and white, rush past his irises, sobs, and jeers clogging his ears, ringing around his brain in a never-ending cacophony. His skin crawls, sweaty but cold. He whimpers, struggling to squirm out of the spinning circles, but the hand around his throat only tightens.
There are creatures, flying, tentacles stretching towards him, severed teeth glinting in the light, grabbing at his jugular, trying to tear it apart.
Felix gasps awake.
He inhales hard through his mouth. Sweat runs down his temple and back. His feet are frigid cold. Blearily, he squints against the darkness enveloping him, seeing only an isolated candle flaring.
Awareness, ice-cold and daunting, floods through him as the shock wears off.
This isn’t his bed. He’s not in the Gryffindor tower at all. He’s in some dank, gloomy part of the castle he’s never seen before. The walls appear to close in around him, shadows dancing, quivering in waves, as if they were reaching for his bare feet. He searches around in a frenzy, seeing nothing but darkness along the hallways.
Footsteps resound in a far-off crevice. Rushed and uneven, the rustle of robes. Felix stiffens, wanting to run and melt into the shadow, but he’s frozen to his spot. Too fearful to move, growing cold inside-out.
He’s nothing without his wand. He’s nothing with his wand. He’s nothing, nothing-
A glimmer of light shines around the corner, footsteps closing in.
Tap, tap, tap.
He shuts his eyes tight, slinging his arms around himself. Someone’s going to strike him down, attack him, tear him apart-
“Felix?”
He whimpers, falls to his knees with a sob.
The footsteps stop in front of him. A dazzling light filters through his eyelids.
“Hey Felix.” The voice, all soft now. “Are you okay? Hey...”
A brief rustle of clothes later, tentative, warm fingers brush his face, lifting it up. Felix blinks his watery eyes open, finding Changbin’s distressed face.
It’s like a spell breaks. Relief crashing over him-
“Hyung- “He gasps and reaches out. The Slytherin embraces him instantly. Warm arms clutching back, hand smoothening over Felix’s back, holding him close, safe.
“What happened? Why’re you here in your PJs?”
“I’m… not sure. I fell asleep and woke up here.”
“Did you sleepwalk?”
Felix wants to deny; he never sleepwalked in his life – but he must’ve gotten here somehow.
“Maybe.” He says, gulping down a bout of nerves. Changbin tightens his hug.
Felix exhales a shuddering breath.
“I’m sure Trelawney wouldn’t find this surprising.” He quips, trying to overplay his unease. Changbin chuckles, but it sounds anything but amused.
“She’ll see a sign in the way Hagrid’s beard curls.”
Changbin shoves a hand to Felix’s nape, squeezing his palm flat to the clammy skin. He looks Felix’s face over.
“Don’t overthink it. Sleepwalking isn’t that weird. Did you have any odd dreams? Like walking around?”
Felix bites his lips, recalling the eerie shapes spinning in his mind.
“There were just colours and shapes and odd faces, it didn’t make much sense.”
Changbin hums thoughtfully. The cold gradually soaks into Felix’s body now that the adrenaline wanes. He shivers, leaning more fully into Changbin’s body, savouring his warmth.
“I should go back to the dorm.”
Changbin pulls a face. “Shouldn’t you see Madam Pomfrey first?”
Felix inwardly crumbles at the very thought of being subjected to her meticulous medical procedures. He’d rather not; he’s drained and cold.
“I’m fine, hyung. Promise. Just want my bed.” Changbin looks as if he’s about to complain, so Felix tags “Please” and a pout on.
Changbin deflates. “Fine, but I’ll come with.”
He pulls Felix up, looking him over to see if he’s still in one piece. His hand lingers on the younger, slung around his waist as if he didn’t want to let go. Felix isn’t complaining. Through his rattled nerves and the lingering panic, he appreciates Changbin’s steady warmth.
As they walk through the dreary corridors, in a corner of his mind, he reminds himself of Trelawney’s horrified expression when she read Felix’s tarot cards.
He clings to Changbin a little tighter.