Chapter 1: Unit Circle
Chapter Text
The schoolbell blared long and loud to signal the start of lunch. With it, a confusing tangle of nerves, dread, and excitement twisted deep in Noelle’s gut, and as her classmates began muttering to each other and moving about, she stayed seated and clenched her fists.
“I can do it,” she muttered to herself. “I’m gonna do it.”
And she meant it—this time, at least, she really meant it. She owed it to herself, but she also owed to that version of Susie in her dream. Dream-Susie, who’d taken her on a lovely, romantic ferris wheel ride, and even encouraged her to hang out with the real Susie in the waking world. And by the Angel, Noelle was going to follow through on the inspirational words of her subconscious mind before her conscious one could stop her.
“I can do it,” she repeated, as she gathered her things for lunch. “I can ask her.”
“Ask who?”
Noelle squeaked and jumped around in her chair. While most of the other students were filing out of the classroom, Susie was standing at Noelle’s desk, her mouth in a small frown and her bangs shading her eyes.
“O-O-Oh! Just! My mom!” Noelle said quickly. She attempted to busy herself with her school supplies in an effort to appear nonchalant and dropped her pencil case on the floor. Pencils and pens clattered as they spilled everywhere, and Noelle crouched down to gather them back up, forcing a smile. “Asking my mom if I can…go to this party that’s happening! Because I go to a lot of parties, ha, because, um, I’m very cool…?”
Susie bent down and picked up one of Noelle’s light-up Christmas pens, looking at it for a second before offering it to her. “Okay. I was gonna ask if you wanted to eat lunch with Kris and me. If you’re not too cool for us.”
“You—you—” Noelle swallowed a lump in her throat as she gingerly took the pencil from Susie’s claws. “You want to eat lunch with me? Why?!”
Immediately, Susie tensed. “Stupid of me to even ask, huh? Well, forget it, then.”
“No no no, that’s not what I meant!” Noelle assured her. “I’m just—just a little surprised. But pleasantly surprised! I’d love to eat lunch with you. A-And Kris!”
She added on the last part hastily, shooting a nervous smile over to the human loitering towards the back of the room. They rolled their eyes at her, which was very rude.
“Oh.” Susie frowned. “Okay. Great. So…”
“L-Let’s go, then!” Noelle said brightly.
Kris wordlessly led the way to the cafeteria, and after grabbing their food, they all plunked down at one of the empty tables.
“So, uh…how are you two doing?” Noelle said, breaking the silence.
“Loooong freaking night.” Susie grabbed a handful of bad cafeteria fries and shoved them into her maw, talking as she chewed. “Some asshole opened a—er, I mean, some asshole woke me up at fuckshit-o-clock, and I didn’t get back to sleep for a couple hours.”
Noelle tilted her head to her side. “Like, someone was making noise near your house?”
“Something like that,” Susie said. “Don’t know who the hell it was, but I swear to the Angel, if I find that little shit they’re dead.”
Kris took a bite of their peanut butter and jelly sandwich and said nothing.
“Aw, I’m sorry,” Noelle said. She looked off. “My sleep’s been weird lately, too…I don’t even remember falling asleep in the library yesterday, but I guess I did, and by the time I got home, I felt completely exhausted.” She laughed. “It’s like the nap made me more tired somehow! It was the strangest thing.”
Susie stared at her blankly for a few seconds. “Haha, yeah, that’s crazy. Uh, anyway. So.”
Kris took another bite of their sandwich; chewed; swallowed. “We had an ulterior motive in inviting you here.”
Noelle side-eyed Kris. An ulterior motive? They didn’t know about her crush, did they…? But—surely they wouldn’t have told Susie, even if they did…
“We need help studying for the big trig exam next week.”
Ah. Of course. Noelle let out a breath of relief and smiled. “Oh, of course! I’m always down for a good study session. Did you have a time in mind?”
“Was thinking we could do it over dinner,” Kris said, oozing nonchalance. “Maybe at QC’s. Make a date of it.”
“Make a…” Noelle swallowed down a lump in her throat, her eyes darting across the table to Susie. When she looked back at Kris, a hint of a smirk played on their lips. She narrowed her eyes at them, but didn’t dare say anything in front of Susie.
“Now that’s a plan,” Susie said, pointing at Kris. “Studying should always have food. Makes it bearable.”
“So. Are you two free this evening?” Kris asked.
“This evening?” Noelle’s eyes darted to the side. “I, uh, I don’t know if my mother would be okay with such short notice.”
Susie raised an eyebrow. “Okay, getting your mom’s permission to go to a party I get, but you need her permission to go out for dinner, too?”
“It’s—well—” Noelle took a deep breath. “No, you’re right! Who needs her permission?”
Susie pumped her fist. “Hell yeah!”
“Yeah!” Noelle said, gripping the edge of the table and trying not to panic. “I’m—I’m cool! And cool people don’t listen to their parents!”
“Hell yeah!”
“As much as I want to see how this plays out,” Kris said, their flat tone cutting cleanly through their enthusiasm, “Noelle won’t be able to come at all if she gets grounded. So let’s say tomorrow. She should be more lenient on the weekend, right?”
“Uh…yeah,” Noelle said, her voice falling back down to something meeker. “Probably for the best.”
“Well then.” Kris clapped their hands together. “It’s a date.”
Noelle looked between them and Susie. Susie seemed completely oblivious, but Noelle could tell that Kris was scheming right now, and a scheming Kris was never a good thing. Before she could do any probing, though, Susie steered the conversation towards video games, and she and Kris started arguing about the best Dragon Blazers game. (They were both wrong, for the record. Dragon Blazers: Six Shadows was by far the best, and if you knew anything about the history of the series you would agree.) But all the while, Noelle kept her eye on Kris, searching for any hint of what they might be planning.
Eventually, Kris excused themself to the bathroom, and Noelle promptly did the same, getting up and following them out of the cafeteria.
As soon as they were both in the school restroom, Noelle hurried to block their path and grab them by the shoulders. “Kris!”
“Noelle,” they replied flatly.
“What was that? What’s your game?!” Noelle shook them a little. “Kris! Susie just asked me to hang out with her! And then you set us up on a study date!”
“I know,” Kris said, face as cool as ever while Noelle jostled them back and forth. “I was there.”
“You put her up to this! I know you did!” She took a step back and crossed her arms. “You’re…you’re planning something!”
Kris gave her an unimpressed look. “I am trying to winghuman for you, Noelle. I thought I made that pretty obvious.”
Noelle blinked. “You…what?”
“You’re clearly head over heels for her. I think she kinda likes you too. I’m friends with both of you.” They shrugged a little. “This isn’t rocket science.”
Noelle stared at them as her brain struggled to catch up. “You…think she likes me?”
“Definitely likes you. Dunno if she like-likes you, but that’s what I’m working on.” They smirked. “Just trust me.”
“Kris, last time you said that to me, you tricked me into eating a worm.”
“Actually, the last time I said that to you was the thing with the spider. The worm was a while ago.”
Noelle glared. “You really aren’t helping your case.”
Kris put their hands up. “Look, I promise I’m not trying to prank you. All I want is my friends to be happy.”
“Well…I guess if you promise, then…” Noelle took a step forward and squeezed them into a hug. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you! You’re amazing, Kris!”
Kris didn’t say anything as she pulled back—just turned their face away and shook their head a little so their bangs fell over their eyes.
Noelle didn’t pay them much mind as she squealed and twirled around. “A study date with Susie! This is great! I can’t believe I fell asleep in the library like that yesterday, but maybe I can make up for lost time here. I have to be on my game—Kris, what’s the coolest way to study? Flash cards? Are flash cards cool?”
“Oh boy,” Kris murmured. “Look, don’t try so hard to impress her. It’ll backfire. Just be Noelle.”
Noelle gave a wry chuckle. “Gosh, you sound like Dad. I don’t know…I can’t help but feel like Susie wouldn’t like regular old Noelle very much.”
Kris was silent for a second, their hands plunged into the depths of their pants pockets. “I think she’d be stupid not to. Regular old Noelle is pretty cool in my book.”
“Aww.” Noelle smiled at them. “Thanks, Kris. You’re a great friend.”
Kris’s expression twitched slightly. “Yeah. I’m the best. Now do you actually have to go to the bathroom? Because I do.”
“Oh! Right! Sorry!” Noelle hurried out into the hall, and threw another “Thank you!” over her shoulder for good measure.
She was halfway back to the cafeteria when she nearly crashed into Susie, who was turning the corner.
“Woah.” Susie grabbed Noelle firmly by the shoulders and just barely kept her from bowling right into her chest. “What’s the rush, Jingles?”
“S-Susie! What are you doing here?” Noelle exclaimed.
“I don’t fucking know. Everyone else was going to the bathroom. Made me need to go too, I guess.”
Noelle nodded slowly, very aware of Susie’s large claws curled around her biceps. “Also, um…Jingles?”
“Yeah? Cause you’re…jingly,” Susie said. “Jingle Bells. It’s a Christmas song.”
“No, I—yeah. I know what Jingle Bells is,” Noelle said. “It’s just, um, I didn’t know you had a, uh, a nickname for me…”
Susie shrugged. “I’m bad at remembering names. I give everyone a nickname.”
“Really? What’s, um, what’s Kris’s?”
Susie grinned a predatory grin, showing off her many rows of sharp, sharp teeth. “Freak.”
Noelle was now very, very aware of Susie’s large claws curled around her biceps. “I—um—”
“Woah, what the hell? I didn’t know your nose could do that.”
Noelle crossed her eyes to look at the tip of her snout, which was glowing a faint pink. “Ah! Um! I should! Go finish my lunch!” Noelle squirmed out of Susie’s grip and ducked under her arm. “Bye Susie!”
She dodged around the corner and hurried back to the cafeteria.
“Thank you!”
Kris let Noelle’s final call linger for a second or two, then sighed, slumping forward and resting their arms on one of the sinks. They stared at themself in the mirror and frowned at the dull red eyes that stared back. They shook their head, ran the tap, and splashed themself with a handful of water.
“Get it together,” they mumbled. “It’s for the best.”
Then a toilet flushed behind them, and they jumped, turning off the faucet and swiveling around. A second later, one of the stall doors opened, and Catti walked out. Kris watched her warily as she stalked over to the sink next to them and began washing her hands.
“Um…” They cleared their throat awkwardly. “Did you hear—”
“All of it,” she interjected without looking up. “Tell me, Dreemurr. Are you an idiot, or do you just like torturing yourself?”
Kris huffed at her, turning back to the mirror. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” Catti pumped a couple hits of soap onto her paws. “I know you have a crush on her. You told me.”
“Yeah. During a game of truth or dare in sixth grade.”
“Yes. And it never went away.” Catti finally looked up, finally meeting their eye. “You put on a good show. But I know you, Kris. Why are you pushing her towards Susie?”
“Because she actually likes Susie, and Susie likes her, and they’ll be happy together.”
“She could be happy with you.”
“You only care about this because of your stupid rivalry with Susie,” Kris said, rolling their eyes. “She’s not that bad, you know.”
“Not the point,” Catti said, her eyes narrowed. “Have you even tried asking her?”
“Have you even tried asking her?”
Susie’s hand paused an inch away from the handle to the bathroom. Was that Catti? Ugh, Susie didn’t want to deal with Catti right now. Maybe she should just go back to the cafeteria with Noelle.
“No, because like I keep telling you, Noelle doesn’t like me like that.”
Susie’s eyes widened. That was Kris’s voice. But what were they saying?
“You should ask her,” Catti said.
“I can’t. You know I can’t.” Kris’s voice was almost too quiet for Susie to hear: strained, and uncharacteristically vulnerable. “Look, maybe if I’d asked her out back in middle school something would’ve happened, but I missed my window. If she ever liked me like that, she doesn’t anymore, and I can’t change that. I’ve made my peace with it, and if I can do this for her I’ll be satisfied, so just…drop it. Okay?”
Susie could hear the eye-roll in Catti’s voice. “As you wish, my liege.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
Susie backed away from the door and stole down the hallway, turning the corner just as Catti came out of the bathroom.
“Kris…has a crush on Noelle?” she mumbled to herself as she pressed her back up against the wall. But that…that…
That made so much sense! No wonder they were so insistent about going to see her at the library, and inviting her to lunch, and even dinner now. And Susie couldn’t blame them—Noelle was, like, super smart, and she was pretty darn cute too. Susie could definitely see it.
But apparently Kris was convinced Noelle didn’t like them back, even though they hadn’t asked her out properly yet. If only they had the courage to actually ask her, then maybe…
Susie grinned to herself. Yes! That was it! Kris was her best friend—her bad guy-smashing adventure buddy. It was about time Susie did something nice for them, especially considering the less-than-spotless history between the two. Something like setting them up with Noelle for real!
Susie felt a plan forming in her brain. She’d be the best wingmonster ever, and by the time Kris realized what she was doing, Noelle would already be head over heels for them, and they’d have no excuse to back down! It was fool proof.
And Kris had already given her the perfect setup to execute the first stage of her plan.
“Hope you carry a breath mint on ya, Kris,” she said under her breath, cracking her knuckles. “Cause agent Susie is on the case.”
Chapter 2: Isosceles
Summary:
Noelle has a fashion crisis. Kris murders Susie. Susie bakes a cake.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Noelle flipped through her closet, groaning loudly to herself as she pressed her phone to her ear. She heard it ringing through the other end one, two, three times before it was finally answered.
“Noelle? Why are you—”
“Kris, I don’t know what to wear!”
“Wear? What?”
“For the study date tonight with Susie,” Noelle said. “You’ve gotta help me pick an outfit!”
Kris’s voice sounded tired as it rumbled its way through the phone speaker. “Noelle, I have worn the same sweater every day for years. What makes you think I can help you?”
“But you’re so creative!” Noelle clamped the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she held up a pair of dresses to her mirror, before huffing silently and putting them back into her closet. “I feel like you’d have a great sense of style if you branched out a little. You should experiment.”
“I have dysphoria.”
“Oh, come on, Kris, who doesn’t? Now, please, you’ve known me forever. What do I look cutest in?”
“Wh-What? Cute?”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you don’t think I’m cute, I get it. But you know what I mean!”
“It’s—it’s not that, I’m just…surprised you want my opinion.”
“You said you’d help winghuman, didn’t you? Do some winghumaning!”
“Alright, alright.” The line went quiet for a few seconds. “You should go for something cozy.”
Noelle pursed her lips. “Cozy?”
“Yeah. Warm, homely, soft. A little understated. Oh, and a scarf—definitely a scarf.”
“Okay, um…sure?” Noelle swallowed. “Can I ask why?”
“Because the cutest thing about you is that you’re a cozy person. You’re kind, and easy to talk to, and you lift up everyone around you. You don’t need to accentuate your body, you need to accentuate that part of yourself. Your…huggableness.”
Noelle’s mouth hung open slightly. “Kris, I…”
“That’s why Susie likes you, anyway, I think, probably,” Kris added in a rush. “What do I know, though. To me you’re just a weird nerd with an unhealthy Christmas obsession, so it’s hard for me to judge.”
“Kris!” Noelle laughed. “I can’t believe you, of all people, are calling me weird. You’re the weirdest there is!”
“And yet you’re still friends with me. Curious.”
“You dork.” Noelle rooted through her closet and pulled out a big fuzzy cardigan, humming to herself. “Thanks for the advice, though, really. I’ll see you later, then?”
“Oh, I’m not going.”
“What?!” Noelle nearly fell over, the cardigan dropping from her hands as she scrambled. “What do you mean you’re not going? You’re the one who organized it!”
“Exactly. I organized it so I could bail and give you and Susie some alone time. Honestly, you should be thanking me.”
“But—but I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet! This is such a big step!” Noelle glanced at her bedroom door and lowered her voice. “I mean, this is practically a d-d-date! You could’ve at least told me!”
“I’m telling you right now.”
“It’s in half an hour!”
“Okay, well, you should’ve called me earlier, then,” Kris said. “Anyway. Good luck!”
There was a click as Kris hung up. Noelle suppressed a scream and hurled her phone onto her bed.
Quite a few obscenities and one costume change later, Noelle was stuffing her keys into her purse as she hurried down the stairs and into the foyer. Her mother was at the dining room table with her laptop and a takeout box both open in front of her, and she caught Noelle’s eye through the adjoining doorway.
“Heading out?” she called.
Noelle stopped walking, turned, and instinctively straightened her posture. “Y-Yes! For the study date I mentioned…?”
“I remember,” Carol mused. “Is this with that Burghley fellow again?”
“Berdly, Mom, and no. It’s with Kris and…” Noelle quickly caught herself and feigned a cough. “It’s with Kris, and I think it’ll be a lot of fun!”
“You have a study… date…” She enunciated the pair of words slowly and deliberately. “With Kris Dreemurr. Just them?”
“Yes!” Noelle said quickly, nodding her head. “Just them!”
“…Interesting.” Carol took a sip from her water. “Well, go on, then. Remember: Holidays always arrive on time.”
“Thanks, Mom! See you later!”
Noelle took the out and ran with it, exiting the manor and finally letting out the breath she’d been holding. She didn’t exactly know what her mother’s thoughts on Susie would be, but she sure wasn’t in the mood for that conversation today.
She arrived at QC’s diner exactly on time and took one of the booth tables by the windows. It wasn’t long before Catti was in front of her, waitress pad in paw.
“Sup, Noelle,” she greeted. “Whatchya getting?”
“Oh, um, just water for now, actually,” Noelle said. “I’m waiting on someone.”
Catti’s face twisted with dour recognition. “…Right. Sure thing.” She walked off, and a minute later returned with Noelle’s water before cycling around to the other tables.
Noelle had been expecting to arrive before Susie, so she wasn’t too surprised when five minutes rolled by without her showing. By ten minutes, though, she was beginning to worry—and then she felt her phone buzz with a text from an unknown number.
5551824631:
hey sry this is susie kris gave me ur number a while ago
5551824631:
smth came up and i cant make the study dinner thing
5551824631:
but dont stop on my account k im no good at studying anyway
5551824631:
and you and kris deserve to have a good time together
5551824631:
k peace
Noelle let her head thud down onto the table and groaned.
“Lemme guess. Susie stood you up?”
Noelle looked up to see Catti staring down at her, one paw cocked on her hip, and sighed. “Yeah. I guess she doesn’t want to hang out with me after all…”
Catti tilted her head slightly. “I think she’s just a bitch.”
“No, no.” Noelle pouted as she sat back up. “You don’t have to comfort me, Catti. I’m not cool enough for her. She’s Susie. Of course she isn’t gonna wanna come study with me.”
“I wasn’t trying to comfort you,” Catti said. “I really think she’s a bitch.”
Noelle frowned at Catti. “Okay, seriously, what even happened between you two?”
“You mean besides what happened between her and everyone else in class?” Catti’s expression grew dark. “Free Ham Sandwich Day.”
Noelle stared at her. “Huh?”
“Don’t wanna talk about it.” Catti flipped out her waitress pad. “You gonna order, or what?”
“I guess I may as well,” Noelle murmured. “Veggie burger and sweet potato fries, please.”
“Anything to drink?” Catti pursed her lips at Noelle’s sunken form and added, “Strawberry milkshake…?”
“I—” Noelle shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t.”
“And a strawberry milkshake,” Catti said, scribbling it down. “On the house.”
Noelle managed a small smile. “Thanks, Catti.”
As Catti wandered off, Noelle looked at the empty seat in front of her and let out a heavy sigh.
Kris leveled a dead stare at their phone.
Barney the Dinosaur:
hey sry dude but i cant make the study thing
Barney the Dinosaur:
smth came up
Kris:
What
Kris:
What?
Kris:
What do you mean something came up?!
Barney the Dinosaur: idk man it came up!
Kris: What the fuck could’ve come up you have no life
Barney the Dinosaur:
look i just cant make it aight
Barney the Dinosaur:
dont cancel for me tho ok go have fun with noelle
Kris:
Are you serious right now
Kris:
What are you even doing
Kris:
Where are you? It says you aren’t even receiving these
Kris:
Did you turn your fucking phone off? Asshole???
“Oh, wait, duh. No reception. Of course.” They hopped off their bed, stuffed their phone in their pocket, and wrenched on their shoes.
Toriel was reading in her chair as they passed by. “Heading out?”
“Gotta go murder Susie. Might be getting dinner out depending on how much I need to murder her. I’ll text you.”
“Sure thing, dear.” Toriel smiled warmly. “You two have fun!”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Kris left their house and made their way through town, all the way down to the school. The taps from their sneakers rang hollow throughout the empty halls as they approached the supply closet. After all, there was only one place in Hometown that had absolutely zero cell reception.
With a small, steadying breath, they opened up the doors and leapt into the dark.
The familiar tingle of their transformation washed over them as they tumbled through the open air, and a second later, they stuck a clean three-point landing at the entrance to Castle Town. They allowed themself a second to revel in how cool they were before standing up and walking into town.
There were a few Darkners milling about here and there, but Kris ignored them, making a beeline for Ralsei’s castle. As they pushed the doors open, they saw Ralsei and Susie standing around the cauldron in the center of the room, their backs to Kris.
“…And then you add in the eggs!” Ralsei was saying.
Susie watched with a raised eyebrow as he brought out a pair of brightly-colored eggs with zigzag stripes and tossed them into the cauldron, shell and all. “What the hell kind of eggs are those, dude? Did you paint those?”
“Hm? No.” Ralsei frowned at her. “What else would eggs look like?”
“You know what? Nevermind. What’s next?”
“Next, you have to add in the raising agent! I like to use Tension Powder for that extra explosive kick.” Ralsei sprinkled a handful of glowing green dust into the cauldron. “And then you stir, and…”
After a couple seconds of Ralsei mixing the bubbling liquid of the cauldron, there was a great boom, and a fully-formed cake, complete with icing, rocketed upwards and just barely missed splatting against the vaulted ceiling of the castle. Susie and Ralsei tracked its trajectory as it flew through the air and landed…
…Right in Kris’s arms.
“Oh! Hello, Kris,” Ralsei greeted. “I didn’t see you come in! I’m teaching Susie how to bake a cake.”
“Kris?!” Susie snarled. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“What the hell are you doing here?” Kris returned. “You’re supposed to be with Noelle.”
“No, you’re supposed to be with Noelle! I was busy!”
Kris raised an eyebrow at her
“I mean—this—” Susie looked at Ralsei. “This is urgent cake baking! Right? An urgent cake baking emergency!”
Ralsei only frowned at her. “Susie…”
Susie lowered her voice. “C’mon, doofus, you’re supposed to cover for me!”
Ralsei shook his head. “I understand if you’re nervous to hang out with Noelle, but if you made plans with her, you should’ve followed through.”
“Nervous? I’m not nervous! I was just trying to—” She cut herself off, glancing back at Kris. “Ugh! Nevermind! This isn’t all on me, anyway. Kris! Did you seriously leave in the middle of dinner to come find me?”
Kris pursed their lips and said nothing.
“Ha!” Susie grinned and stabbed a finger at them. “You didn’t show up either, did you? And now you want me to cover your ass, you hypocrite!”
Kris grit their teeth. “Hey, this whole thing is your fault. Everything would’ve been fine if you hadn’t bailed.”
“You bailed too!”
“I didn’t bail, I was trying to—”
“Um…Excuse me?”
They both stopped and turned to Ralsei.
“What?” Kris grumbled.
“Well…I don’t entirely know what’s going on,” he admitted, fidgeting with his scarf, “but aren’t you two forgetting about something more important than whose fault this is?”
Susie blinked. “…Noelle’s all alone at the diner.”
“Shit,” Kris mumbled. They looked down at the cake in their hands and held it out to Susie. “When you cancelled, you were just buying some time so you could pick up a cake as a surprise thank-you gift for her.”
Susie took the cake from them. “Kris, you’re a genius.”
“I know,” Kris said, flashing a thumbs up. “Now go get her!”
“Oh no you don’t.” Susie raised the cake up threateningly. “You’re coming with me, buddy, unless you want Ralsei’s hard work shoved right into your stupid little face.”
“Um…It’ll taste much better if you eat it normally,” Ralsei advised meekly.
Kris waved a hand. “I’ll come, I’ll come. Let’s just get going.”
“See ya, Ralsei!” Susie called over her shoulder as they left. “Thanks for the free cake, sucker!”
“You’re welcome!” Ralsei called back.
“Heh, I totally played him,” Susie said as they walked out of the castle. “I said I wanted to learn how to make cake, but really, I was tricking him into making me cake for free!”
“Or he was tricking you into learning something by luring you in with free cake.”
Susie stared off into space for a few seconds. “Wait. I never thought about that. Angel fucking dammit.”
Kris solemnly patted her on the back.
Susie held the cake delicately in her claws as she and Kris padded down the sidewalk. Man, she hoped she wouldn’t be too bad of a third wheel to Kris and Noelle here. It had been the perfect plan, too! If only Kris wasn’t so nosy and flakey.
When they reached the diner, Kris held the door open for Susie, who walked in past them. Catti was serving a table in the middle of the dining floor, and she looked up with a frown as they walked in. She sighed, but jerked her head over her shoulder towards Noelle, who was sitting alone in one of the booths with a milkshake and a half-eaten plate of food.
She wasn’t dressed in her regular school clothes—instead, she wore a pair of cute green overalls above a red blouse, with a candy-cane-striped scarf and a fuzzy cardigan that looked utterly, endlessly soft.
Angel, she was adorable. No wonder Kris liked her.
After a half-second of staring, Susie walked over and placed the cake down on the table. “Hey. Sorry we’re late.”
Noelle had been picking sullenly at her plate, but when Susie spoke, she looked up and broke into a huge smile. “You guys! You came!”
She shot out of the booth and flung her arms around both of them. Susie was caught off guard by the sudden group hug and she felt her cheeks heating up—she wasn’t used to people being affectionate with her, and it didn’t help that Noelle’s cardigan was just as soft as Susie had imagined. But as she looked to the side, she saw Kris’s face burning, too, and felt a surge of vindication. Maybe the plan could still work after all.
Kris disengaged from the hug and took a step back. They composed themself remarkably quickly. If Susie hadn’t been staring at them behind Noelle’s back, she wouldn’t have had any idea they’d been blushing at all.
“Sorry for the false alarm,” Kris said as they slipped into the booth. “Susie was picking up this cake to thank you for helping us study.”
“Really? Aww, Susie, you didn’t have to do that…It’s my pleasure, really!”
Despite her words, though, Noelle was giving Susie a bashful look, fidgeting with a strand of her hair in one hand. Susie figured she probably wasn’t used to anyone actually paying her back for her time when it came to this sort of thing. Figured; Berdly was as ungrateful as they came. It was a shame, though. Noelle was always so nice to everyone and she deserved to get some recognition once in a while.
Susie stood there, looking into Noelle’s wide blue eyes. They darted away from Susie’s stare, nervously zipping across the room—and landed on Kris. Susie smirked. She swore it to herself, then and there: she’d pay Noelle back for her kindness by getting her together with the human of her dreams.
She was so good at this wingmonstering thing.
Noelle took the seat across from Kris, and they leaned forward. “Hey, uh…I’m sorry things didn’t exactly work as planned.”
“Kris, it’s okay,” Noelle assured them, smiling softly. “I’m really glad you’re here. Both of you,” she added, turning that same smile to Susie.
“U-Uh, yeah! Course.” Susie nodded sagely. “Didn’t mean to leave you alone here. I, uh, thought Kris was with you, and…the cake took longer than I thought. Yeah. Wanted it to be a surprise and all.”
“It was a great surprise, Susie.” Noelle giggled. “But you could’ve just said you’d be a little late.”
“Uhhh…yeah. My bad.” Susie rubbed the back of her neck. “Wasn’t thinking straight.”
Noelle looked at the cake. “This looks delicious. Where’d you get it?”
“Susie actually baked it herself,” Kris interjected.
“You—” Noelle’s eyes widened, and she turned to Susie. “You baked this? For me?”
“W-Well, okay, no, I mostly stood around while Ra—while my friend did all the work,” Susie grumbled, suddenly feeling self conscious. “Technically, he was ‘teaching’ me.”
“Still,” Noelle said. “That’s really sweet of you. Thank you.”
“Yeah, well, uh…” Susie thought fast. “It was Kris’s idea! So! Really, you should be thanking them!”
“Wait, it was?” Noelle turned back to Kris.
“Nope. The cake was all her idea. She’s just embarrassed,” Kris said.
“No, they’re just humble! It was their idea,” Susie insisted. “Because they’re super nice and thoughtful.”
“No, it was your idea,” Kris hissed out, “okay? You wanted to thank Noelle with something nice and sweet.”
“Shut up, you freak!” Susie growled. “Just take the fucking credit! You’re all sappy and shit, it was obviously your idea. I’m the mean rude one!”
“Yes, which is why it’s so notable that you did this uncharacteristically kind thing for Noelle.”
“No, you did an uncharacteristically kind thing for Noelle!”
“Both of you shut up and give me your orders.”
Susie and Kris whirled around to see Catti standing at the side of the table, bearing both her waitress pad and a very unimpressed expression.
“It’s dinner rush. So if you two keep shouting I will claw your eyes out,” she went on.
Susie swallowed. “Uhhh.”
Catti narrowed her eyes. “And don’t you dare say a ham sandwich.”
“I wasn’t gonna!” Susie protested. “Just gimme like…a cheeseburger and fries, or whatever. And a Monster Coke.”
Catti scribbled it down, silent.
“Grilled cheese, hot chocolate,” Kris said simply. “Thanks, Catti.”
She grunted in acknowledgement. “Be right out.”
As she walked off, Noelle giggled. “Well…regardless of whose idea it was, thank you both for the cake. It was really sweet of you.” Her grin widened. “Get it? Sweet?”
“We got it, thanks,” Kris deadpanned.
“But anyway, now that we’re all here, we can get to the main event: studying!” Noelle produced several stacks of index cards from under the table, her eyes glittering with anticipation. “I brought flash cards!”
Susie stared at the cards, and then turned her head to hit Kris with a ‘this is all your fault’ glare—only to see that they were leveling the exact same sort of look at her.
“Well?” Noelle beamed with innocent excitement. It was infuriatingly cute. “Who wants to start?”
Susie and Kris both groaned.
Notes:
Hey y'all! Thanks for all the support on this fic so far; this is such an underrated ship, so I'm super glad to see that people are down to dance with me on this for the next couple months. Your comments mean a lot!
Anyway, I'll see you next week for a lovely little focus on a pair of oblivious childhood friends. Catch y'all then!
Chapter 3: Acute
Summary:
Noelle eats lunch with her mom. Kris plays a video game. Susie performs an interrogation.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunday afternoon, Noelle hummed a little tune to herself as she assembled a sandwich on the kitchen counter. She’d been on cloud nine ever since the study date yesterday with Kris and Susie. After the initial disappointment, the dinner had gone great. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had that much fun out with friends—and they’d gotten so much studying done, too!
Her mother was at the table when Noelle sat down, but she’d already finished eating, and her crumb-filled plate had been pushed off to the side in favor of her laptop.
“I just received an email from Alphys,” she said before Noelle could take a bite. “About a volunteer tutor program.”
“Oh, yeah, she mentioned that!” Noelle nodded. “I was considering signing up as a tutor.”
“I think you should,” Carol said. “At a small school like yours, every extracurricular counts when it comes to college applications.”
“And it’s a nice thing to do for the other students,” Noelle added.
“Yes, of course. That too.”
Noelle chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds. Maybe if Susie enjoyed their study date yesterday, she’d sign up for more tutoring. That’d be a good way to spend some more time with her…
Oh, who was she kidding? That wasn’t gonna happen in a million years. No, it’d probably be Berdly signing up and nobody else, and all that would change is that she could put her one-on-one tutoring sessions with him on a transcript.
Her phone pinged pleasantly with a new text, and she pulled it out of her pocket, her eyebrow raising.
Krismas 🎄: Emergency strategy meeting. My house. Now
Noelle: Now? Kris, I’m in the middle of lunch!!
Krismas 🎄: Emergency strategy meeting. My house. 15 minutes
Noelle: LOL thanks XD
Noelle set down her phone back on the table and took another bite of her sandwich. After swallowing, she turned to her mom. “That was Kris. They invited me over to their house, so I’m probably gonna go over there after lunch. But I’ll be sure to email Alphys about the tutoring!”
Carol stopped typing and peered at Noelle over the rims of her glasses. “Kris invited you over?”
“Yeah, is that…a problem?”
“No, I suppose not. But weren’t you just out with them yesterday?”
Noelle raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”
“It seems like you’re spending an awful lot of time with them, that’s all,” Carol said—though the suspicious look in her eyes didn’t go away. “Frankly, I’m not sure how you aren’t sick of them by now.”
“Mom!” Noelle laughed. “They’re not that bad. I’m glad they’ve gotten out of their shell a bit more recently. It’s been really nice catching up with them these past few days.”
Carol narrowed her eyes. “Has it now?”
“It…yes?” Noelle’s smile wavered. “It…it has. I just said that?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to… hang out… with any other… friends…?” Carol said slowly, her words weighed down with a hidden significance that Noelle didn’t quite understand.
“You mean Berdly?” Noelle asked.
Carol’s eyes shot wide. “Good Angel no. Not him. Actually, maybe the Dreemurr child isn’t so bad.”
“Um…okay?” Noelle finished the last of her sandwich and stacked her plate with her mother’s. As she moved into the kitchen and dropped the dishes into the sink, she shook her head—she felt like she had no idea what her mom was even talking about half the time. “I’m gonna head out now, if that’s okay.”
“Sure, dear,” Carol said absently, returning to her work. “Be home by dinner.”
Kris sat on the foot of their brother’s bed, their eyes laser-focused on the monitor in front of them.
“So, Kris, what was this emergency meeting about?” Noelle asked, right beside them.
Kris narrowed their eyes as they moved their character along the stage and carefully shielded the assault from Noelle’s Pikachu.
“Because, I mean, it sounded like you were in a rush,” Noelle went on. “And while I love kicking your butt in Super Smashing Fighters, I was thinking we could talk while we play.”
“I know you’re trying to distract me,” Kris hissed out.
“I know you know,” Noelle said. “But it’s woooooorkiiiiiiing…”
She giggled as she ran up and caught Kris in a grab, whirling them around and throwing them off of the stage. Kris jammed the joystick back towards center stage and managed to avoid losing their last life by the skin of their teeth, dodging around a tail whip from Noelle and landing back on solid ground.
Noelle ran in for another grab, but Kris rolled through her, and there was a loud BEEP as Mr. Game and Watch buried Pikachu into the ground with a large hammer.
“Motherffff—mmm!” Noelle mashed furiously on her controller. “That move is so cheap!”
“What was that about kicking my butt?” Kris asked as they leisurely charged up their smash attack and dealt the coup de grâce.
“You stupid little…ugh!” Noelle seethed, throwing down her controller and crossing her arms as the ‘Player one wins!’ screen popped up. “Such a stupid gimmick character…”
“Awwww. Sounds like someone’s bad at video games.”
“We’ve been going even, you jerk!” Noelle grabbed her controller again. “One more! For keeps this time!”
“Nah, I’m done. Think that last match settles it, you know? I beat you, I’m better than you…no point in rehashing it all.”
“Kriiiiiiis, you asshole!” Noelle cried, punching them repeatedly in the shoulder. “Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jer—”
Kris caught her fist as she came in for another punch and giggled. “Hey, no need to be a sore loser. It’s okay, Noelle, we can’t all be good at video games.”
Noelle huffed. “Okay, that’s it! You asked for it!”
Before Kris knew what was happening, Noelle had tackled them backwards onto the bed, and they were quickly rendered helpless in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten how ticklish you are, Kris,” Noelle goaded as she went straight for a few long-known weak points of theirs.
“No—hehe—Noelle, you can’t—HA—not fair—” Kris squirmed out from under her and managed to throw themself off the bed. They landed in a heap on the floor, out of breath. “Angel’s sake, what are you, five?”
She stuck out her tongue. “You started it.”
“Yeah, well…” Kris averted their gaze and told themself that they were red from the exertion, and nothing else. “Whatever. I’m so getting you back for that later.”
“Uhuh. I’m sure you will.” Noelle stood. “Now, come on. I’m here so we can talk about Susie, right?”
Kris blinked up at the ceiling. Right. Susie. “Yeah, just…let me go to the bathroom.”
Noelle gave a word of acknowledgement that Kris didn’t really hear, and a few seconds later, the bathroom door clicked locked behind them. They turned to the sink, and cold water splashed against their cheeks like a brick to the face.
Susie.
At first, they hadn’t understood what the hell Noelle had seen in the girl. They’d almost been insulted that it had been her, of all people—if Noelle was gonna fall in love with someone else, couldn’t it have been someone actually tolerable? Catti, maybe?
But the Dark World had changed that. Susie may not be nice, but she’d shown Kris that she could be kind. She could be loyal, she could stick up for what was right, and she was, certainly, really fucking jacked. She’d been able to pick Kris up and throw them like an Angel-damned javelin, and they had to give credit where credit was due: it had been impressive.
So yeah. They couldn’t blame Noelle for liking Susie. They were big enough to admit that Susie was way hotter than them, and so they were prepared to bite the bullet and set their feelings aside to get the two of them together.
But then Noelle had to go and be insufferably adorable, which was completely unfair. They were trying to get over her and she was making it so hard.
Kris turned off the sink and took a deep breath. They could do this. They were great at repressing their emotions—that’s what their therapist always said, at least. This should be easy for them. They were totally gonna crush this whole moving on thing.
When they left the bathroom, Noelle was standing right there in the kitchen, filling up a glass of water at the fridge. She smiled at them and moved over to the kitchen table. “Kris! I think I might have a plan.”
Kris sat down and raised an eyebrow. “You have a plan?”
“Hey! I can have plans!”
“Yeah?” Kris fought back a smirk. “And how have these plans been working out for you? Gone on any dates with Susie yet.”
She pouted. “Oh, shut up.”
Kris sighed dramatically. “Well, let’s hear it, at least.”
“I’m gonna be signing up as a tutor in that new after school tutoring program Alphys is starting.” Noelle looked up at them hopefully. “Maybe…if you could convince Susie to come…”
“Oh my god. More studying?” Kris gave her an unimpressed look. “Are you serious?”
“Hey, the studying went well!” Noelle insisted. “Think of how much progress we made yesterday! Susie actually knows what SohCahToa stands for now.”
“Yeah, well, that isn’t gonna get you SohCahTo-gether.” Kris leaned back on the bed, fidgeting with the joystick of their controller. “She’s not gonna kiss you over a trig review worksheet, you nerd.”
Noelle looked away, tightening her hands around her glass and blushing. “I mean…she might…”
“Angel, you’re pathetic.”
“H-Hey!”
Kris rolled their eyes. “Look, fine, whatever, it’s worth a try. When is this happening?”
“After school tomorrow,” Noelle answered. “It’s supposed to be weekly. I just hope Berdly doesn’t show up and ruin it…”
“I’ll take care of Berdly,” Kris said. “Rope him into playing Minecrap or something. And I’ll bully Susie into signing up.”
Noelle’s shoulders relaxed, and she smiled. “Thanks, Kris.”
“But you better not waste this, okay?” Kris leaned forward and pointed a finger at her. “If you don’t at least have a second date planned by Tuesday, then I might have to write you off as a lost cause.”
“Y-Y-You want me to ask her out?” Noelle’s eyes widened. “Tomorrow?”
“Yep,” Kris said.
“But I—I can’t!” Noelle wove her fingers through her hair and clutched at her scalp. “No way! I’ll die!”
“You won’t die.”
“I’ll crumble into dust! I’ll melt into a sad little puddle! I’ll explode!” She gave Kris a frantic look. “Do you really want me to explode, Kris?!”
“Come on, Noelle, get it together.” Kris crossed their arms. “You want to date her, don’t you?”
“I—” Noelle blushed. “Well, yeah, but—”
“No buts!” Kris interrupted. “Don’t you want her to be your girlfriend?”
Noelle averted her gaze, a lock of hair tumbling out from behind her ear and hanging in front of her face. “Yeah…”
“You want to hold her hand?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Say it like you mean it!” Kris banged a fist on the table. “Do you want to hold her hand or not?”
“I…” Noelle closed her eyes and gulped. “Yes! I do!”
“Yeah!” Kris shouted encouragingly. “Do you want her to kiss you?”
“Yes!”
“Do you want her to hug you? Cuddle you?”
Noelle was nodding now, her eyes determined. “Yes!”
“Call you cute nicknames?” Kris went on.
“Yes!”
“Want her to text you late into the night?”
“Yes!”
Kris grinned. “Want her to step on you? Shove you into a locker?”
“Yes!” Noelle exclaimed enthusiastically. Then her eyes widened and she slapped her hands over her mouth. “I—I mean—Kris! Y-You jerk, that—that wasn’t funny!”
They were laughing too hard to respond. Noelle huffed; she was bright red, but she still managed to shoot them a death glare. “You—you—I can’t believe you!”
“Ohhhhh, Angel,” Kris wheezed out between laughs. “I can’t believe you fell for that!”
Noelle swatted them on the shoulder from across the table. “You’re such an ass, Kris! I don’t even—it’s not like I’m into—ugh!”
“If—” Kris took a shuddery breath, trying to reel in their laughter. “If you’re trying to convince me you didn’t mean it, you’re not doing a very good job.”
“You set me up!” Noelle cried. “I was just—I was in a rhythm! I said yes before I heard what you said!”
Kris met her indignance with a smirk, pointing towards the tip of her nose, which was shining with a pronounced scarlet light. “You’re glowing.”
Noelle buried her face in her hands, whined, and slouched down in her chair until she was barely visible over the table. “Kriiiiiiiiiis…”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Kris assured. “I’m not gonna judge you for wanting Susie to snap you over her knee like a twig.”
“Kriiiiiiis!”
“And for the record, she totally could,” Kris said, putting out a hand. “Those muscles? Absolutely not just for show.”
Noelle lowered her hands and raised an eyebrow. “Kriiiiiis?”
“And her teeth—have you seen those things? I mean, I can appreciate your taste.”
“Are you…” Noelle gave them a funny look. “Are you still teasing me?”
“What? Obviously.” Kris blinked. “Why?”
“Um, well, it’s just…The way you were talking about her…” Noelle pursed her lips. “What…exactly…were you doing with Susie in that closet last week?”
“I told you. Crime.” Kris leaned forward. “But that’s not important. What’s important is what you could be doing with Susie in that closet. ‘Cause I’m sure you have all sorts of ideas.”
Noelle’s nose brightened another shade. “I-I-I—Kris—um—”
“Just remember: ask her. Okay?” Kris smiled. “I promise you won’t explode.”
She managed to relax slightly. “Thanks, Kris.”
And then the door swung open.
Kris leaned slightly to the side to look into the living room, and Noelle turned around on her chair. “Oh, is your mom—”
“Hey, Kris! Are you—”
“Susie?!” Noelle shrieked.
The two girls stared at each other for a few seconds. “Uh…Noelle? What are, uh, what are you doing here?”
Noelle clamped a hand over her snout. It only made the glow that much more conspicuous. “I…um…we were just, ah…” She glanced desperately at Kris.
“Crimes,” they responded.
Slowly, Susie began to grin. Her teeth glinted in the light. “Oh, I see. I get it.”
“I-I-I have to go!” Noelle squeaked out, scrambling to her feet. “Thanks for having me over, Kris! Bye!”
Susie watched with a knowing smile as Noelle rushed out of Kris’s house, blushing ear to ear. Interesting—Susie walks in on Noelle and Kris, and Noelle immediately runs off embarrassed? Maybe Susie had been underestimating Kris, and they didn’t need her help after all. It certainly looked like something had happened between the two of them. She just had to find out what.
Once Noelle was gone, Susie turned back to Kris and raised an eyebrow. “Man. She sure left in a hurry.”
“You know how she can be,” Kris said, their words coming slow and deliberate. “Anxious. Jumpy.”
“Still,” Susie said. “Didn’t mean to interrupt you two. Looked like you were having a good time with her, you know?”
Kris didn’t flinch. “Yeah. We were catching up. Been a while since we hung out together.” They shrugged. “What are you doing here?”
“I dunno, man, I was bored. I was gonna ask if you’d want to, like, go into the woods and throw shit at other shit with me.”
“Susie.” Kris laced their fingers together. “I would love to go into the woods and throw shit at other shit with you.”
“Hell yeah. But, uh…” Susie cleared her throat. “You and, uh, Noelle, huh?”
Kris narrowed their eyes at her a little. “What?”
“Just…why was she blushing like that?”
“Oh.” Kris was quiet for a second. “I was teasing her.”
“Yeah?” Susie asked. “About what?”
Kris smirked. “Well, I can’t give away my material for free like that, Susie. If you want to tease her, I’m sure you can come up with something yourself.”
“What? No, I just—ugh!” Susie huffed. “Look, did anything…happen? Any news to tell me?”
“Actually, yes,” Kris said.
Susie took an anticipatory step forward. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Noelle volunteered as an after-school tutor,” Kris said. “And I think you should attend her first session after school tomorrow.”
“What?” Susie frowned. “That’s not news, that’s…that’s just more studying!”
“We both know you could use it,” Kris pointed out. “And we both know you don’t have anything better to do.”
Susie stared at them. They really hadn’t made a move, had they? And she’d thought that she’d been underestimating them! She’d been estimating them just fucking fine, the absolute loser! Angel dammit!
Ugh. She was going to have to be more direct if she wanted to make any progress with these idiots, wasn’t she? Fortunately for her, though, Kris had just given her an in. After all, if Kris wasn’t going to ask Noelle out, then maybe she should try to attack this thing from the other direction.
“Yeah,” she said slowly, nodding as a plan formed in her head. “Yeah. Studying with Noelle. That might not be so bad. Yeah.”
Kris smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. I think it’ll be more fun than you expect.” They stood. “Now. Woods?”
Susie smirked. “Last one there has to eat a bug.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Kris shot back—but they ran for the front door all the same, Susie laughing as she chased after them.
Notes:
Hey folks! Might be a break next week; nothing set in stone, but my semester's starting up again in just a couple days, and I'm not sure how hectic things will be. I'll try my best to make it, but as always I'll post scheduling updates on my Tumblr. Thanks!
Chapter 4: Obtuse
Summary:
Susie gives Noelle a recommendation. Kris does some interior decorating. Noelle has multiple crises of the self.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After the final bell rang on Monday, Susie, with great effort, pulled herself out of her chair and shuffled over to the front of class.
Noelle turned to her with a big smile. “Hi, Susie!”
“Hey,” Susie grumbled. “So…this tutoring thing.”
“Yes!” Noelle looked around as the classroom emptied around them. “We can probably use this room. That’d be easiest.”
Susie shrugged and slumped into Berdly’s desk. “Works for me.”
“Great! So, I guess we can…” Noelle trailed off, looking past Susie. “Oh, uh, MK! Are you also here for tutoring…?”
Susie turned around to see Monster Kid standing halfway between them and the classroom door. Their eyes locked with Susie’s and widened in fear. “Um, well, yeah, I was…I mean…I was just leaving! Bye!”
Susie frowned as they scampered out of the room.
Noelle watched Monster Kid go with a curious expression. “Well, guess it’s just us, then.”
“You’re, uh…” Susie turned back to Noelle. “You’re cool with that, right? I don’t want this to be weird or anything.”
“Weird? Us studying together? A-Alone? No, why would it be weird? Haha!” Noelle’s smile thinned. “I-I mean, unless you think it’s weird…”
“Nah, it’s just, we’ve never really talked one on one before,” Susie mumbled. There was the ferris wheel, of course, but Noelle didn’t know that was real. “And you saw MK just now. I guess I’d understand if you didn’t wanna…”
“No, no no no!” Noelle surged forward and clasped Susie’s hand in hers. “I like you a lot, Susie! I-I-I mean—I think you’re…cool! I like hanging out with you!”
Susie managed a small smile. “Well…I am pretty cool.”
“Yeah! And sure, you can be a little scary, but you, you’re…”
“The good kind of scary?”
“Y-Yes! Yes, exactly! That’s exactly what I was going to say!” She nodded frantically, then seemed to realize that she was still holding Susie’s hand, and yanked it away. “Uh…sorry, I…got a little excited.”
Susie chuckled a little. Noelle was so nice—so easy to talk to. And she always made Susie feel so warm inside. Like a never-ending hug as long as she was in the same room.
Susie wondered why that was. Eh, probably nothing important.
“You’re pretty cool, too,” Susie said, instead of all that mushy nonsense.
Her smile was so cute it could kill. “I’m really glad you came, Susie. You seem like a great friend.”
Susie snorted. “Thanks, but I don’t know about that one.”
“Well…Kris seems to think you are,” Noelle said. “And that’s good enough for me.”
Susie’s eyes brightened. That’s right—she’d almost forgotten what she’d actually come here to do. “Yeah, they’re pretty great, too, right? Shame they couldn’t come today.”
“Uhhh, yeah.” Noelle cleared her throat. “I think they’re playing games with Berdly right now.”
“Ha. Nerds.” Susie nearly laughed, but quickly stopped herself. “I mean—Berdly’s a nerd. Not Kris. Kris is great. Like I said.”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Kris is definitely a nerd.”
“Okay, sure, but they’re a cool nerd,” Susie said, pointing a finger at her.
“Uh…I guess?”
“And they probably don’t need to come here anyway, now that I think about it, because they’re, like, super smart.”
Noelle giggled. “Being smart only goes so far when you sleep through as many lectures as they do.”
“Yeah, well, uh—that’s just ‘cause they, uh…stay up all night…being…awesome?”
Noelle raised an eyebrow.
“And they’re super chill and nice and funny!” Susie threw out in a panic, baring her teeth.
“You don’t have to defend Kris to me, Susie,” Noelle said with a laugh. “We give each other a hard time, but that’s because we’re good friends. Though, it is really sweet of you to stick up for them like that.”
“I’m not, like, defending them, I just, uh…want to make sure you know that they’re amazing, and…kind…and…” Susie narrowed her eyes, stretching out her words. “Preeetty? Or, uh, handsome? Shit, what’s a gender neutral word for ‘hot’?”
“I think pretty and handsome can both be, um…considered gender neutral, but, uh…” Noelle stared at her. “Sorry—did you just call Kris hot?”
“Well, uh.” Susie crossed her arms defiantly. “Yeah, what about it? You disagreeing with me? They’re hot as hell.”
Noelle’s eyes darted about nervously. “Um—well—I haven’t ever thought about it—and I mean, I’ve known them for forever, so—er—do you…think about this often, Susie?”
“Come on, Holiday.” Susie put one claw on the back of her chair and the other flat on her desk and leaned forward towards Noelle. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t think Kris is rocking that shit twenty-four-seven.”
Noelle’s mouth opened, and shut again, and opened again, and eventually she squeaked out, “So…trigonometry?”
Shit, Susie had totally gone too far, hadn’t she? Maybe she wasn’t cut out for this wingmonstering business.
“R-Right. Yeah.” Susie’s face felt hot as she straightened her posture. “Trigonometry. Triangles and shit. Angles. Hypotenuse. What are we doing?”
“We’re…working on solving right triangles,” Noelle said.
“Right. Yeah. I can do that. Probably.”
Noelle nodded slowly. “Do you want to go over the worksheet?”
Susie let out a breath. “Sure. Sounds good. And, uh…I’m sorry about—”
Noelle shook her head. “It’s okay, let’s just—”
“No, but I didn’t mean to—”
“Susie!” Noelle exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut and putting up a hand. “It’s okay. Really. Let’s just forget about it.”
Susie sighed. “Okay. No problem. Let’s see, right triangles…” She squinted at the paper. “So, uh…the fucked up little eight symbol’s the angle we need to find, right?”
“Yep! That’s the Greek letter theta.”
“Right…”
Kris stretched in their chair, but didn’t take their hands off the keyboard as they stared at the computer screen. They finished chopping down the tree they had been hacking away at, then turned and sprinted back to their base.
“I’m telling you, Kris, something’s wrong with the game!” crackled Berdly’s voice through their headphones. “I’ve been running around this cave system for so long and I still haven’t found any diamonds. None! It has to be a glitch!”
“What’s your Y level, Berdly?” Kris asked calmly.
“Uhh…twenty-four. Why?”
“Diamonds don’t spawn above Y-14.”
“Oh.”
There was a stretch of silence. Kris walked over to their crafting table and began converting all their wood into planks, and then converting those planks into a full inventory of boats.
Then they walked over to Berdly’s house.
“Ah, here we go!” Berdly said. “I found a cave at level eight. I’m sure the diamonds will be rolling in any minute now!”
“I believe in you,” Kris said, placing a boat down on his bed.
“Thank you, Kris! You know, I may even let you share in my spoils, out of the kindness of my heart. A handful of diamonds, all for you!”
“Awww.” Kris placed boats all over Berdly’s chests and furnaces. “How sweet of you.”
“Indeed! Truly, my generosity knows no bounds!”
Kris opened their inventory to transfer another row of boats into their hotbar and proceeded to litter them throughout every available space in Berdly’s house. “Well, I eagerly await your return. I’ve been doing a lot of work on my base.”
“Oh, have you now? Well, while I’m sure your base is most fabulous, Kris, it pales in comparison to my beautiful, humble abode!”
“Yeah, your house is pretty good,” Kris said, placing down more boats. They were beginning to clip into each other, vibrating erratically as they phased into the walls and furniture. “I really love what you’ve done with the place.”
“Why thank you, my good human!”
Kris’s phone dinged, pulling them out of the game. They placed a couple more boats and then picked it up off their desk, looking at their texts.
Little Miss Gayass:
Kris, help!! Susie came to tutoring, but she’s acting a little strange…I don’t know what to do ;_;!
Little Miss Gayass:
Respond quick!!! I said I was going to the bathroom and she’ll think I have some sort of embarrassing medical problem if I stay in here too long XD!
Kris was about to reply when a whole new flood of texts came rushing in.
Barney the Dinosaur:
hey uh kris
Barney the Dinosaur:
so im at this tutoring thing w noelle
Barney the Dinosaur:
and shes acting like super fking nervous and weird
Barney the Dinosaur:
and i think i made things awkward
Barney the Dinosaur:
cause she ran away to the bathroom
“Aha!” Berdly exclaimed as Kris read through the texts. “Yes! Diamonds, Kris! Diamonds! I am god amongst gamers!”
“That’s great, Berdly,” Kris said absently, their thumbs darting across their phone keyboard.
Barney the Dinosaur: so anyway i could use some advice
Kris:
Noelle is just a very awkward person
Kris:
This is almost certainly not anything you’re doing wrong
Barney the Dinosaur:
okay but
Barney the Dinosaur:
what if it is
Kris:
It’s not. Trust me, you’re fine
Kris:
Just have a good time with her. If you can get her to relax it’ll be fun I promise
Kris:
And you might learn a formula or two while you’re at it
Barney the Dinosaur:
yeah yeah whatever
Barney the Dinosaur:
but thanks that helps actually
Kris: Mmhmm. Have fun
“Six whole diamonds! What a score! This is enough for a pickaxe AND a sword,” Berdly celebrated. “And one extra for you, of course, Kris. I haven’t forgotten my promise!”
Kris put their phone down and began placing more boats. “Berdly, what am I going to do with a single diamond? Make a jukebox?”
“Hey, I worked hard for these! You should be happy I’m giving you a whole sixteen point six-seven percent. Lesser gamers than I wouldn’t be so generous!”
“Sorry. I’m forever in your debt, Berdly.”
Little Miss Gayass: Kriiiiiis Kris Kris Kris! I know you’re there!!
Kris:
Okay first things first. You need to calm down
Kris:
Susie isn’t acting strange, you just have anxiety
Little Miss Gayass:
I think this is a little bit more than just my anxiety, Kris!
Little Miss Gayass:
She was going on about, like…
Little Miss Gayass:
Gah, I don’t even think I can say >_<!! But trust me it was weird!
Kris:
You just need to relax
Kris:
She’s not as intimidating as she seems
Little Miss Gayass: That’s…not exactly the problem here XD
Kris:
Well, look. Hiding in the bathroom isn’t going to solve anything
Kris:
Just get back out there and be yourself. And try not to overthink things
Kris:
Which may be asking too much of you, I know, but try
Little Miss Gayass:
Well, jeez, thanks for the vote of confidence, Kris!! XP
Little Miss Gayass:
But you’re probably right. I’ll give it my best shot! (ﾉ*ФωФ)ﾉ
Kris: You are so cringe. Godspeed
Noelle texted them something else, but before they could read it, they were distracted by Berdly’s cries through their headset.
“Wait is that—crap, a skeleton! No! No, no, don’t—no, not the lava!”
Kris looked over at Berdly’s bed, which they were standing directly next to, and which was entirely covered in boats. Hmm.
“No! My diamonds! NOOOOOOOOO!”
xX_EpicGamerBird_Xx tried to swim in lava.
Kris watched as Berdly appeared by his bedside and immediately started displacing the mass of boats filling up his house.
“What the—what is—Kris, what did you do to my house?!”
Kris turned and sprinted out the door.
“Kris! KRIIIIIIIIS!”
Noelle pursed her lips as she watched Susie work through an equation. They’d finished the first worksheet and had moved onto a different problem set that Susie was having a little more trouble with. She was giving it a valiant effort, though.
The study session was, by all accounts, going well. After Noelle had gotten back from the bathroom, they’d managed to fall into a more comfortable rhythm of studying and goofing around. Susie was actually really funny when she wasn’t doing the whole scary bully thing, and in between the poor impressions of their classmates and the jokes about how much math sucked, Susie seemed to actually be picking up the material.
There was only one thing tainting the whole experience; one thing that took what would otherwise be a perfect study date and gutted it like a dead fish. And that was, of course, Susie’s horrible, blatant, obvious crush on Kris Dreemurr.
Seriously. She would always find a way to twist the conversation around towards Kris: how cool they were, or what a good friend they were, or how good at video games they were…It was endless. It would’ve been endearing and a little funny under different circumstances, but as things stood, it was sort of killing the whole romantic vibe Noelle had been wistfully hoping for going into this.
And the worst part? She couldn’t even go to Kris for advice about it.
“So,” Susie went on. “This would be…root three over two?”
“Yep! Exactly.” Noelle smiled at her. “You’re really getting the hang of this, Susie.”
“Yeah, well, thanks to you.” Susie ran a claw through her hair. “You’re so smart, Noelle. It’s crazy. And so good at…explaining shit. You make it actually make sense.”
“Oh! Um…” Noelle felt her cheeks heating up. “Th-thank you, Susie.”
“I can see why you and Kris are so close,” Susie went on. “Cause, you know, they’re also super smart and cool.”
Noelle winced. There it was. “Right. Well, um…” Fortunately, she was saved by her phone vibrating. She glanced down at it. “Oh, that’s my mom. She’s outside.”
“Ah, gotchya.” Susie nodded. “Guess that’s it then.”
Noelle gathered up her things, and Susie walked with her out to the lockers. “I, um, think this tutoring thing is supposed to be weekly, though, so…don’t be afraid to stop by again!”
“Yeah, I might. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”
Noelle beamed. “I’m glad! And if you have any other questions outside of one of these sessions, you can text me anytime, since we’re friends. Or for any other reason! Just, feel free to text me!”
“Uh…” Susie blinked at her. “Okay?”
“Haha! Yep!” Noelle slammed her locker shut way too forcefully. Oh, Angel, she desperately needed to get it together.
Carol was waiting in her car as they left the school. She instantly met eyes with Noelle, so she hurried over, opening the passenger’s side door.
“There you are,” Carol said. “Did it go well?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah! Things went well.” Noelle looked over her shoulder at Susie. “Um…bye! Thanks for coming.”
“See ya,” Susie called back, flipping a small wave with one hand.
“Does your friend need a ride home?” Carol asked.
“Does she—” Noelle’s eyes widened. “Um. I, uh…”
“Well?” Carol gestured at Susie. “Ask her. It’s polite.”
Noelle turned a sheepish smile at Susie. “Hey, uh…Do you need a ride home?”
“Hm? Oh. Uh.” Susie eyed the car. “Yeah, that’d be nice, actually.”
“Come on, then,” Carol said, motioning her over.
Susie complied and awkwardly slipped into the back of the car. “I, uh…My place is downtown. And thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome.” Carol started driving. “So. Are you in Noelle’s class?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“And your name?”
“It’s, uh…Susie. Ma’am.”
“Susie.” Carol peered into the rear-view mirror. “Susie Sauria?”
Susie exchanged a worried glance with Noelle. “You, uh. You know me?”
“Your reputation precedes you,” Carol said.
“Ah. Um. Well, uh…”
“Those are mostly rumors, Mom,” Noelle said quickly.
Carol squinted at her. “Mostly rumors?”
“Hey. If you’ve got a problem, just say it,” Susie challenged.
“That depends.” Carol glanced over to Noelle. “Do we have a problem?”
“No! No, Mom, it’s fine. She came to tutoring, I helped her with the homework, and that was it.”
“Well then.” Carol’s eyes locked back onto Susie’s; they were icy. “I suppose there’s nothing wrong with attending Noelle’s tutoring sessions. I hope she was able to help you.”
Susie tried to meet her eyes in the mirror, but after a second, she crossed her arms and looked away with nothing but a huff.
“Come on, Mom,” Noelle mumbled. “We’re friends. It’s fine.”
“I said there’s nothing wrong with it,” Carol returned.
“But you—ugh. Nevermind.” Noelle shot Susie an apologetic look, then settled back into her seat and stared out the window.
The car was quiet for a while, until Susie started tersely giving directions to her apartment complex. They reached it quickly, and Susie didn’t waste time getting out of the car.
“You’re very welcome,” Carol said pointedly, which only made Susie roll her eyes.
“Um…Bye, Susie!” Noelle called out nervously as Susie stepped up onto the sidewalk. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow!”
“Yeah, uh—” Susie shot one last glance at Carol, then gave Noelle a slight smile. “See ya.”
She disappeared into the building, and Carol pulled back onto the street. She grimaced a little as she looked out over the exposed dumpsters and graffitied walls. “Angel above. If I’d known she lived out here, I wouldn’t have offered to drive her home.”
“Mom!” Noelle exclaimed.
“I’m just saying, dear. Don’t walk through this part of town alone at night.”
Noelle frowned at her. “You can’t always judge people by where they live, Mom. Susie’s nice.”
“You’re putting words in my mouth,” Carol said. “I wasn’t judging Susie, I was judging her neighborhood. And besides, we both know she isn’t exactly a saint. You think I don’t talk to the other parents?”
“Well, she’s always been nice to me,” Noelle mumbled. “I really wish you hadn’t drilled into her like that.”
“That girl has a history of bullying, Noelle. You can’t blame me for being concerned.”
“But she’s getting a lot better! She’s, um… friends with Kris, now.” Noelle suppressed a spike of jealousy even as she said it. “I think they’re helping her a lot. And besides, it’s been a long time since she’s ever actually gotten into a fight with anyone.”
“If you say so.” Carol tapped a finger on the steering wheel. “Speaking of Kris, though, I’m surprised they weren’t with you today.”
“Oh, um…they were busy.”
“Right. Well, I suppose they don’t need the extra help, what with all those private study sessions you’ve surely been giving them.”
Noelle furrowed her brow and turned to her mother. “What? I mean, I guess we’ve done a couple of those, but…What exactly are you saying?”
“Come on, Noelle. You can be honest with me. We both know what’s going on here.”
“We do?”
“Do you really need me to spell it out?” Carol rolled her eyes. “Fine. I know you’re seeing them. And I don’t appreciate you trying to hide it from me.”
Noelle stared at her. “Seeing…who?”
Carol’s gaze drifted from the road for just long enough to shoot Noelle a look.
“Wait—no. No! You think I’m dating Kris?” Noelle exclaimed, her voice cracking into a shrill whine.
“Are you not?”
“No!”
“Seriously? Have you even asked them out?”
“No! What? No!” Noelle could’ve sworn her eyes were about to pop out of her skull.
Carol sighed. “Come on. You hung out with them twice in two days over the weekend and you see them at school every day and you still haven’t made a move? Noelle, sweetie, I love you, but you have to learn to take the initiative sometimes.”
Noelle felt like she was going insane. “No—I’m—I don’t like Kris! I mean, I, I like them, but only as a friend!”
“Oh, please, Noelle.”
“I’m serious! I don’t have I crush on them! At least—I don’t think I do?”
Noelle’s mind drifted to Kris. She’d never thought of them like that before, never even considered it; Kris was her childhood friend, not a potential dating option. But now that she was thinking about it…
Well, Susie certainly seemed to see something in them. As much as that had stung to find out, it had also given her a fresh perspective on things. Susie was right: Kris was funny, and loyal, and strong, and cute, and they were shy but that was also kind of cute, and…
Wait.
Noelle shook her head violently. “N-No! I can’t have a crush on Kris!” She said it more to herself than to her mother—a desperate attempt to stomp down her traitorous thoughts. “I have a crush on Susie!”
The car slowed. Carol turned to look at her. “Excuse me?”
Noelle slapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. “Um—um—I mean—um—”
Carol slowly pressed back on the gas, and the car resumed motion. “Well. It seems I was gravely mistaken.”
Noelle gave her a nervous glance. “You’re not…mad?”
Carol was quiet for a few seconds. “We all make mistakes in high school. It’s a part of growing up.”
“…Right. Thanks, Mom.”
“Mmm.”
Carol didn’t seem very keen on continuing the conversation from there, which was a-okay with Noelle, considering that this was probably one of the top five most mortifying conversations of her life. As the silence dragged, Noelle rested her head on the window and went over the situation in her head.
She had a crush on Susie. She knew this for certain. However, it looked like Susie had a crush on Kris—which made sense, because they’d been practically inseparable ever since Alphys had assigned them as partners and they’d started sneaking off together all the time.
But Kris clearly didn’t know anything about Susie’s crush, because if they did, they wouldn’t be helping Noelle get together with her (which Susie still didn’t know about, evidenced by her gushing about Kris to Noelle).
And Noelle might also be developing a teeny tiny crush on Kris now, too; but, one, she wasn’t thinking about that shut up, two, Susie had a crush on them as previously stated and Noelle didn’t want to compete, and three, there was no way Kris liked her back if they were trying to set her up with Susie, so it didn’t matter anyway.
Angel’s sake. She was starting to get a headache.
She’d visit her dad after school tomorrow, she decided, as she watched the buildings roll by. She needed advice.
Notes:
Don't you love the smell of gay stupidity in the morning?
Thanks for your patience on this chapter! I may have to call on it a bit more, though, going forward: life is a little crazy for me at the moment, and I don't know if I can promise weekly chapters anymore, even if they're short. But I'm gonna try my best! And I'm definitely going to see this through--I have the whole thing outlined, so it's just a matter of sitting down and banging out the words.
Thanks so much for reading, and have a good one!
Chapter 5: Equilateral
Summary:
Noelle gets some advice. Kris gets some advice. Susie gets some advice.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“…And so Mom totally thought I was dating Kris,” Noelle recalled as she lounged on the corner of her father’s hospital bed, her Nintemdo Swatch forgotten on the side table. “Gosh, it was so embarrassing!”
Rudy smirked. “What, did she give you the talk or something?”
“Wha—no!” Noelle exclaimed. “She just—it was a misunderstanding! But then when I was telling her I don’t like Kris, I accidentally told her that I have a crush on Susie. And you know what she said?”
“Uh oh.” Rudy eyed her. “Do I want to know what she said?”
“She said, and I quote, ‘We all make mistakes in highschool.’ Can you believe her?”
Rudy burst out laughing.
“D-Dad!” Noelle gave him an offended look. “It isn’t funny!”
“Sorry sweetie, it’s just…” He managed to push down his laughter. “That is such a Carol thing to do. She really said that? Right to your face?”
“Yes!” Noelle cried, only for Rudy to break into more chuckles. Noelle huffed. “Well, I’m glad someone’s getting a kick out of my love life. You and Kris would get on great.”
“Oh, we already do, dear, we already do.” Rudy’s smile turned kinder. “But jokes aside—I don’t think you’re making a mistake at all. Susie’s a nice girl, and your mother will see that in time. She can just be a little…”
“Judgey?” Noelle suggested flatly.
“Yeah, exactly. Judgey.” Rudy nodded. “But, hey, speaking of Susie, how’s that been going? Any new developments to share?”
“Well, Kris has actually been helping me on that front lately,” Noelle said.
“Wait, they have? But I thought Kris had a…” Rudy trailed off, clearing his throat. “Sorry. It’s just, they’re such a troublemaker. I figured they’d sooner cause you problems than help you out!”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, don’t worry, they’ve been causing me plenty of problems, too. But they did get me a study date with her yesterday, so I can’t complain too much.”
“Yeah?” Rudy gave her a smile. “And how’d that go?”
“Well…it could’ve gone better,” Noelle admitted.
“That bad, huh?
“No, it was—I mean, it was good! We had fun, it was a good time. It’s just…” Noelle sighed. “She kept going on about Kris.”
“About…Kris?”
“Right? It’s weird, isn’t it? It’s not just me?” Noelle leaned forward and put a hand over her chest. “I mean—she was gushing about them! Talking about how they were cool, and funny, and…h-hot! She called them hot! They were all she could talk about for the whole tutoring session!”
Rudy winced sympathetically. “Ouch, sweetie. That’s harsh.”
“Ugh, I don’t know what to do!” Noelle cried. “Kris wants me to ask her out, but how can I when she obviously likes Kris instead?”
“So let me get this straight,” Rudy said slowly. “You have a crush on Susie. You think Susie has a crush on Kris. And Kris has…”
“They have no idea!” Noelle finished for him.
“Right. Yeah,” Rudy said slowly. “They have no idea. That’s what I was going to say.”
“And, like, I guess I could try to ask Susie out before she gets a chance to ask Kris out, right? Get my shot in before I lose my chance. But that feels so dishonest and opportunistic!”
“Love can be a messy thing, sweetheart,” Rudy said. “But trust me: it gets a lot less messy if you actually talk to each other. I don’t think it’d be wrong to tell Susie about your crush on her. The worst that happens is she turns you down. I know that hurts, but take it from your old man who got rejected more times than he can count: it feels good to know you gave it your best shot.”
Noelle laughed softly. “I don’t think that advice counts if the girl that rejected you all those times is the same one you ended up marrying.”
“Ha! Well, maybe.” He nudged her lightly with his bony elbow. “There were others before your mother, though. She’s just the one I was finally able to wear down.”
Noelle’s smile drooped a little. “I don’t want to wear her down, though. If Susie and Kris could be happy together…”
“Kris seems to think you and her would be happy together,” Rudy pointed out. “What are you two going to do? Keep trying to push Susie onto the other one?”
“I—I don’t know! I just…I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
“Look,” Rudy said, resting a hand on her knee. “Kris wants you to ask Susie out. You want to ask Susie out. You don’t know for sure what Susie wants—you’re just assuming based on one conversation. Don’t you think it’d be worth talking to her honestly before you jump to any conclusions?”
Noelle looked away. “But…what if she…”
“Sugarplum.” Rudy gave her a meaningful look. “Just talk to her. Honestly. None of Kris’s scheming plots, no roundabout flirting…you don’t even have to ask her out yet if you don’t want to. But you have got to talk to her. It’s the only way you’re going to untangle any of this.”
“I…” Noelle took a deep breath. “Okay. Thanks, Dad. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Susie, and try to sort things out.”
Kris reclined back in their booth at QC’s, placing the little toothpick from their grilled cheese between their teeth and sucking in a breath like it was a cigarette.
“Ahhhh,” they breathed as they took it out. They reached for the empty glass in front of them and swirled it around. “Gimme another round, bartender. It’s been a rough week.”
Catti’s stare was flatter than a piece of paper under a steamroller from the other side of the booth. “I’m on break. I’m not a bartender. We’re both underage. That’s hot chocolate.”
“C’mon, Catti,” Kris sighed. “Do you always have to ruin my fun?”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was supposed to be fun,” Catti said. “On account of it being very stupid.”
“Sigh! You could never fathom the heart of a girl.”
“Kris. You can’t say ‘sigh’ out loud.”
Kris took another drag of their toothpick. “You wouldn’t understand, Catti. Nobody understands…” They looked dramatically into the distance.
“Is this about how you’re trying to set up your years-long crush with another girl?”
“Oh my god, Catti, they’re such idiots,” Kris said, immediately leaning forward. “And I have nobody to talk to about it and it’s driving me insane.”
“They’re definitely idiots,” Catti agreed. “But not the only ones.”
“Look, the—the study dinner date thing didn’t go as planned, okay? I admit it. But I got Susie to attend Noelle’s tutoring session yesterday. Alone. Just the two of them. And guess what happened?”
Catti tapped a claw against the table and said nothing.
“C’mon, guess what—”
“I’m not guessing.”
“Nothing!” Kris threw up their hands. “Nothing happened. Noelle didn’t ask her out. They awkwardly texted me about how the other person was acting weird and then did trigonometry and then went home. Can you believe it?”
“Yes,” Catti said. “Incredibly predictable.”
Kris ignored her. “I handed Noelle the perfect opportunity. The perfect opportunity. And this is how she repays me?”
“Oh no. The girl you have a crush on is still single and available. The horror.”
“No, it is a horror, Catti!” Kris insisted. “It is! How the hell am I supposed to get over her if she doesn’t start dating Susie?”
Catti took a deep breath. “Kris. You have had a crush on her for over five years and still haven’t gotten over her. I don’t think this will make a difference.”
“No. It has to.” Kris slammed their palm on the table. “The problem is that as long as she’s single, it’s still a possibility, so my subconscious is still clinging onto hope. But if she starts dating Susie, then I’ll finally be able to move on.”
“You could also ask her out,” Catti said. “And if she rejects you then it’ll have the same effect. And when she doesn’t reject you then I will be able to say I told you so. And Kris. I really like saying I told you so.”
“There’s no way I can ask her out! After all this time?” Kris shook their head. “Way too embarrassing. I have an image to maintain, you know.”
Catti pinched the space between her eyes with a pair of talons and let out a frustrated hiss. “You’re impossible. This is above my pay grade. Take this up with your Angel-damned therapist.”
“Oh, I have,” Kris said.
“Okay. And what did she say?”
“She said that concocting elaborate schemes to push Susie and Noelle together is a healthy and productive coping mechanism, and that not only is it the right thing to do as a friend, but it will also cure my depression.”
Catti gave them a look. It was not a very pleasant one.
“Okay, fine,” Kris groaned. “She said I should be honest with Noelle.”
Catti’s lip twitched into a slight smirk. “I told you so.”
“But I—I can’t tell her,” Kris protested. “I can’t. Remember how you said I haven’t been able to get over her for years? Well, I also haven’t been able to tell her for years. That’s not about to change. Every time I try, I chicken out and do something stupid.”
Catti raised an eyebrow at that. “Stupid?”
“Yes! Like, one time back in middle school, we were going to the festival together, right? And we were playing ring toss. I was going to confess to her by giving her one of the prizes she really wanted, but then I got cold feet and played the whole thing off by tossing the rings around her antlers.” They snickered. “Actually—that one was pretty funny. She got so indignant. Kept having trouble pulling them back off…” They cleared their throat. “Uh—anyway. Point is, I’m not good at confessing to that sort of thing. I can never do it.”
“Here. Let me help you.” Catti leaned forward in the booth and laced her paws together. “Tell her tomorrow at school. And if you don’t. I will.”
“Wait—wait, what?” Kris’s eyes widened. “Catti, you can’t.”
“I can. Very easily.” She shrugged. “Consider it a favor from a friend. You'll thank me later.”
Kris spluttered. “But—but—”
“Welp. Break’s over.” Catti abruptly stood up. “Good talk.”
“I…” Kris sighed, crossing their arms and slumping down in the booth. “Fine. You win. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Noelle, and tell her how I feel.”
Susie narrowed her eyes in concentration, holding her palms a few inches apart from one another and curling her talons. As she focused, a small bundle of golden magic began to coalesce in front of her. Once it was about the size of a baseball, she launched it towards the Ralsei-dummy a few feet away.
“Ha!” she exclaimed as the orb sunk into the dummy’s chest. “Get healed, loser!”
“Susie, that was great!” cheered Ralsei—the real one, standing next to her. “Your healing is improving a lot. With a few more sessions like this, you could even get it combat-ready!”
“Yeah, that’s right! I’m the frickin’ healing master, baby!” Susie stood proud, a big grin on her face.
Ralsei laughed. “It’s great to see you in such high spirits, Susie.”
“Heh. That’s cause healing magic isn’t the only thing I’ve been knocking out of the park recently.” Susie jabbed a thumb at her face and smirked. “You’re looking at the number one wingmonster in Hometown!”
“Wing…monster?” Ralsei tilted his head to the side. “But you don’t have wings, Susie.”
“No, no, it’s like—an expression. If you’re a wingmonster it means, like, you’re helping someone get a date with the person they like.”
“Oh, uh, okay.” Ralsei looked curious. “So…are you saying you got two people together?”
“Almost! I got this whole master plan, and it’s going perfectly,” Susie said. “They’ll be smooching in no time thanks to me.”
“Well, it’s nice to do that for your friends, I suppose! Who’s the lucky couple?”
“Noelle and Kris.”
Ralsei’s smile twitched a little. “Um, sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you say—”
“Noelle and Kris,” Susie repeated, crossing her arms. “What, are your ears not working or something?”
“But…But…” Ralsei looked side to side, as if searching for an answer. “Why?”
“Cause I overheard Kris talking to Catti about a crush they had on Noelle that they were too shy to speak up about, and I wanted to help them. And I’m doing a great fucking job of it, too! Just yesterday I was studying with Noelle and subtly planting the idea in her brain.” Susie smirked, sliding her hand smoothly through the air. “That’s the trick to it, Ralsei. You gotta be subtle, but not too subtle.”
“Well, um…” Ralsei was still staring. “If you’re as good at being subtle as you are at healing, then I can…imagine how that went.”
“Wha—hey!” Susie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m the fucking best at subtlety! And healing!”
Ralsei only giggled.
“Whatever,” Susie huffed, crossing her arms. “I’m telling you, it went well.”
“If you say so.”
“I can see why you were surprised to hear that Kris likes her, though. I totally didn’t see it coming either,” Susie said.
“Actually…” Ralsei seemed to consider something for a second or two. “Kris having a crush on Noelle isn’t the part that was confusing me. I’m mostly wondering why you’re trying to…what was it, wingmonster?”
Susie shrugged. “They’re my friends. Why wouldn’t I help them?”
“Because…I thought you had a crush on Noelle.”
Susie stared at him. “What?”
“Noelle,” Ralsei said, wringing out his paws. “You…you have a crush on her.”
“What? No I don’t.” Susie blinked. “What?”
“You don’t? But…” Ralsei turned, looking aimlessly around the training area. “Back in the Cyber World, you seemed pretty focused on her.”
“Yeah, cause she was, like, in danger and stuff,” Susie said. “I had to protect her!”
“I’m just saying, Susie, the way you talked about her…”
“Yeah?” Susie curled her claws into fists. “How was I talking about her, huh? How?!”
“Hey, it’s okay, Susie, really!” Ralsei put his hands up in surrender. “There’s no need to get defensive.”
“I’m not defensive!” Susie snapped.
Ralsei didn’t seem the least bit threatened, and gave her a knowing half-smile.
“Ugh!” Susie turned and bopped dummy-Ralsei right in the face, sending him rocking back and forth on his pedestal, and her anger deflated with the force of the punch. “Okay, so maybe I’m getting a little defensive. But that’s cause you’re accusing me of something that isn’t true!”
“I’m not trying to accuse you of anything,” Ralsei said. “I’m just telling you my honest thoughts.”
“Yeah, well, your honest thoughts should be less stupid, then.”
He chuckled. “Oh, come on. What’s so bad about liking Noelle, anyway?”
“Are you kidding? It’d be a disaster!” Susie cried. “Noelle wouldn’t want to date me! Nobody would want to date me! I’m undateable!”
“You’re being too hard on yourself, Susie. I bet you’d be an amazing girlfriend!”
“Your opinion doesn’t count.” Susie rolled her eyes. “You’re Ralsei. You always believe in me, even when you shouldn’t.”
“Believing in you hasn’t steered me wrong yet!” Ralsei chirped.
“Ugh. Would it kill you to be a downer every now and then, dude? Your positivity is infuriating.” Susie plopped down on the floor and leaned back on her palms. “Look, that part doesn’t even matter. The point is, I don’t like Noelle like that. I mean—I like her, sure, but I like her as a friend.”
Ralsei sat down next to her. “Okay. And what do you like about her?”
“Huh?” Susie narrowed her eyes at him. “The fuck kind of question is that?”
“I’m curious,” Ralsei said. “Please?”
“Okay, fine, you weirdo.” Susie sighed. “I mean…I don’t know. She’s nice. She’s really fucking nice, even to me, which is a pretty rare thing up there. And she’s super smart—like, straight A’s and shit. I feel like I get smarter just listening to her talk about whatever. She’s actually pretty cool, too. Not as much of a nerd as you’d expect from someone who’s always hanging out with Bird-Brain.”
“Mmhmm,” Ralsei hummed. “What else?”
Susie scratched an itch on the side of her head. “Uhh…well, she’s pretty cute. Just wanna grab her and squeeze her, you know? Plus her smile makes me feel so warm and full inside, and her laugh is all musical and shit. Makes me want to spend more time with her, and get closer to her, or whatever.”
“Right.” Ralsei nodded slowly. “And you think all of that is platonic?”
“Well, I mean, yeah.” Susie shrugged. “It’s the same way I feel about Kris, after all, and they’re my best friend.”
“You…wait. What?”
Susie looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “C’mon, what now?”
“All that stuff you said about Noelle,” Ralsei began. “You feel the same way about Kris?”
“That’s what I just said, ain’t it?”
“So you think they’re nice, and cool, and smart, and cute, and you want to hug them, and spend more time with them?”
“I mean I’d never say any of that shit to their face, but yeah, I guess.”
“Susie…” Ralsei’s expression was starting to look pained. “I’m not sure I should ask this, then, but…is that also how you feel about me?”
“I, uh…” Susie scrunched her face up. “Hmm. No, it’s like—I don’t know. It’s different for you, I think. Probably because you’re such a dork.”
“No, Susie, it’s not because I’m a dork,” Ralsei said. “It’s because you don’t have a crush on me.”
“Pff. Obviously,” Susie said. “Because you’re a dork.”
“Right. Sure.” Ralsei laced his fingers together. “So, the way you feel about me is the way you feel about a friend you don’t have a crush on. You’re with me so far?”
“Yeah?”
“And the way you feel about Noelle and Kris is different from the way you feel about me.”
Susie nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, logically…” Ralsei spread a hand to the side. “The way you feel about Kris and Noelle is different from the way you feel about a friend you don’t have a crush on.”
“Oh, I know this! Noelle was telling me about this yesterday when we were going over proofs,” Susie said, snapping her fingers. “The…The…The property of transgender equality!”
“The transitive property of equality,” Ralsei corrected.
“What? Fuck. That’s not nearly as cool.”
“You were close, though!” Ralsei smiled. “But either way, you admit the logic is sound, yes?”
“Sure, whatever. I still don’t get your point, though.”
“I’m saying that you don’t not have a crush on Kris and Noelle.”
“That…so…wait.” Susie furrowed her brow. “No. What? No. That’s stupid. You’re stupid.”
“We just proved it together,” Ralsei said. “Are you going to argue with facts?”
“Yes, I’m going to argue with facts! The facts are fucking stupid!” Susie snarled, jumping to her feet and jabbing an accusatory finger down at Ralsei. “I don’t have a crush on anyone! I’m—I’m uncrushable! And if I really did have a crush, then I would crush the crush until it died and I didn’t have it anymore! So there!”
“Susie—”
“I’ll show you who has a crush on who,” Susie insisted. “I’m gonna get Noelle and Kris together so hard and I’ll be so not jealous that you’ll eat your words!”
Ralsei frowned. “I never said anything about jealousy.”
“Yeah, but you were thinking it! And you thought wrong!” Susie crossed her arms and stood tall, putting on as much confidence as she could muster. “Listen up, nerd. Tomorrow, I’m gonna talk to Kris, and get them with Noelle once and for all!”
Rudy flashed a thumbs-up. “Good luck, sweetie!”
Catti walked towards the door to the kitchen. “Fucking finally. Don’t screw it up.”
Ralsei sighed and shook his head. “If you say so, Susie.”
Noelle nodded and hopped off the edge of the bed. Kris huffed and put the toothpick back between their teeth. Susie grinned and kicked the Ralsei-dummy clean over.
“Tomorrow,” they chorused.
Notes:
Wooo, I made it! Hooray! I’m gonna try to make next week too, but, uh…It might be a bit of a stretch, because next chapter is going to be a bigger one I think. We’ll see! Thanks for bearing with me :]
Chapter 6: Phase Shift
Summary:
Noelle confronts Susie outside of school. Kris confronts Noelle after class. Susie confronts Kris in the Dark World.
Notes:
Sorry for the wait! I think this chapter'll be worth it, though. It's a big one. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Wednesday morning, Noelle was waiting outside the doors to the school. She felt the cool breeze rustling through her fur and the rough brick against her back as she leaned against the wall. She took a deep breath; she could do this.
She smiled and greeted her classmates as they passed by, but didn’t go inside herself. Only after everyone else had passed her did Susie finally show up, her fists stuffed into the pockets of her ripped-up jeans as she slouched her way down the sidewalk.
“Susie! Hi!” Noelle waved, stepping away from the wall. “Could I talk to you for a second before class?”
“Yeah, sure.” Susie paused in front of her, smiling softly. “Hit me.”
“Okay! So! I was just wondering, I mean…” Noelle reached her hands up and started nervously brushing down her hair. “Okay, I know this is sort of awkward to ask, but, uh, do you…do you like Kris?”
“Yeah, they’re great.” Susie smirked. “I mean, they’re an ass sometimes, but I wouldn’t hang with ‘em if I didn’t like them.”
“No, like…like-like.” Noelle smiled shakily. “Like…romantically.”
Susie’s reaction was instant. “Angel fuck, not you too! What is with people telling me I have a crush on people? What next, is Kris gonna try to convince me that I have a crush on you?”
Noelle nearly choked on air. “I—you—on me—I mean—uh…do you? Have a crush on me? B-Because, um…”
“No no no, don’t worry! I don’t have a crush on anyone.” Susie crossed her arms proudly. “I’m uncrushable.”
“Oh. I see,” Noelle said, trying not to feel too disappointed. “But you, um…you’re sure you don’t like Kris, then?”
“A thousand bajillion percent sure.”
“Okay. Well. In that case, I guess there’s nothing really wrong with me telling you, so, um…” Noelle began fidgeting with her fingers, looking around nervously. “I, um…”
Susie narrowed her eyes. “You…?”
“I have a crush on you!” Noelle blurted out.
Susie blinked at her. She looked confused. “What? No you don’t.”
“I—” Noelle stopped dead in her tracks. “Excuse me?”
“You don’t have a crush on me,” Susie said plainly. “You can’t.”
“What—but—but I—” Noelle found herself spluttering. She’d been prepared for rejection, but she hadn’t been expecting this. Whatever ‘this’ was. “Why not?”
“Because you have a crush on Kris!”
“You—” Noelle felt her eyes widen. “H-H-How do you know about that?! Nobody’s supposed to know about that!”
“Ha!” Susie grinned triumphantly. “So you do have a crush on them!”
“N-No! I mean—” Noelle clutched at the sides of her head. “Maybe? I don’t know! Don’t ask me that! It’s my stupid brain thinking stupid thoughts, that’s all. I’m hoping that if I just ignore it, it’ll go away.”
Susie reached out and put a claw on Noelle’s shoulder. “Come on, this is a good thing!”
“No!” Noelle cried. “No, Susie, it isn’t! It’s bad—it’s very, very bad! Do you know how much Kris is gonna lord it over me if they find out I have a crush on them? They’ll be totally insufferable about it. I’ll never live it down!”
“I mean…” Susie scratched a talon against the side of her head. “I think it’d be pretty hard for them to tease you about it, considering they’re, like, totally head over heels for you, too.”
Noelle paused for a half-second, then burst into laughter. “Oh, good one, Susie! Sometimes I forget how funny you are.”
“I’m not joking.”
Noelle’s laughs died down. What was that? Noelle must have misheard her. “Sorry?”
“I said, I’m not joking,” Susie repeated.
“Oh.” Noelle blinked. “Well, you’re wrong, then.”
“I’m not wrong!” Susie growled, baring her teeth. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“Because they’re Kris!” Noelle scoffed. “They—they wouldn’t—there’s no way!”
It also wouldn’t make sense for them to be winghumaning for her if they liked her like that. But she wasn’t strong enough to steer the conversation back to her crush on Susie after what had happened the first time.
“Angel’s tits, you two are impossible. How hard is it to just confess to each other? Ugh!” Susie kicked the brick wall of the school. “Come on, Noelle, just ask them out! I got a reputation to maintain here.”
“A reputation?”
“Yeah, my reputation as the best wingmonster ever!”
“Is…” Noelle looked awkwardly to the side for a second. “Is that something you’re…known for, Susie?”
“Well, okay, fine, maybe it’s more building my reputation rather than maintaining it, but who the fuck cares about the details?” Susie waved her hand in dismissal. “Point is, I’m gonna get you two idiots together if it’s the last thing I do! So ask them out, or I’ll bite your cute little face off, got it?”
Noelle felt her cheeks warming up. “But…But I…Did you just call me cute?”
“No, I called your face cute.”
“That’s basically the same—”
“It’s fucking different, okay? Shut up! Stop talking! GRAHHH!” Susie huffed and stomped up the steps to the school, but then paused at the doors and threw Noelle another look over her shoulder. “And ask them out, dammit!”
The door slammed closed, and Noelle found herself staring at the metal, jaw hanging open.
“What…What just happened?”
Kris was on edge for the whole school day. Catti, next to them, kept shooting them expectant looks—clear warnings that she meant her threat from yesterday. Even worse, though, was Noelle herself, who, for whatever reason, was stealing occasional glances towards them when she thought they weren’t looking. It was driving them crazy. Why was she paying so much attention to them? Was she on guard? Could she sense the utter disaster that was coming?
It was agony, and it was endless. They’d tried to pin her down at lunch, but Berdly had swooped in before they could, condemning them to another three hours of torture. But finally, as the bell rang to let them out for the day, Kris got their chance. Their locker was next to Noelle’s, so as they were both arranging their things to head home, it was easy enough to grab her attention.
Or it should’ve been, if they could get their lips to move. As they tried to build up the courage, they attempted to look busy by taking their binder in and out of their backpack repeatedly. You know—like an idiot. By now, everyone else had turned down the hallway towards the main doors (or towards the supply closet, in Susie’s case). Kris honestly didn’t know what Noelle was even still doing here. Maybe she was really bad at putting her books away.
All they had to do was talk to her. That wasn’t hard. They talked to Noelle all the time. They just had to open their mouth and produce words. Easy. So easy. They could do this. They could—
“Hey, Kris,” Noelle began, slowly shutting her locker door. “I know this is a totally…stupid, random question, but do you—”
“I need to talk to you!” they blurted out.
Noelle stopped in her tracks, locker halfway closed, eyes wide. “Um, uh. What…about?”
Kris took a deep breath. “So, there’s something I should probably tell you.”
“Okay?” Noelle visibly swallowed.
“I…I should’ve told you sooner.” Kris wrung out their hands, shifting from foot to foot. “A lot sooner. But it just—it never felt like a good time, and…”
Noelle’s stare bored into their skull. They had her complete, undivided attention, and they had never been so terrified.
They pushed on. “And it’s weird. It’s really weird, and probably a little hard to believe. But you gotta believe me.”
“Oh my Angel. This is really happening,” Noelle breathed out.
Her words were so quiet that Kris almost felt like they were eavesdropping on her, but they heard them all the same. They heard the tremble in her voice, too; the trepidation. The mounting horror.
Kris took a small step backwards. They couldn’t do this. Why did they think they could do this—just because Catti told them to? Who were they kidding? Pigs didn’t fly, and Kris didn’t confess their love to Noelle. It was just the way things worked.
“Well?” Noelle probed. “What is it, Kris?”
Kris snapped back to reality. “I…sorry, I, uh…”
She laughed nervously. “Come on, are you really going to string me along like this? Just—just say it!”
And then, in that moment, their brain, fueled by pure self-preservation, made a split-second decision. “The Dark World is real!”
Silence ruled the hallway. Noelle looked genuinely shocked, her eyes wide as dinner plates, and Kris felt like the soles of their shoes were glued to the floor.
“That’s the secret,” they went on, after a few awkward seconds. “The Cyber World was real, it wasn’t a dream. And there’s another Dark World in the supply closet. Susie and I go there sometimes.”
“…What?” Noelle mumbled. She was still staring.
“And I know we shouldn’t have lied to you, and we should have just told you, and I know it’s weird and you might not believe me but—there. It’s done. Secret spilled. No other secrets, either. Just that secret.”
“I—but I thought—and you—so you don’t have a…” Noelle trailed off and pursed her lips. “Wait, that’s what you and Susie have been doing in the closet?”
Kris nodded mutely.
“Um.” Noelle glanced around for a second and then leaned forward conspiratorially. “Can I see it?”
“Susie, are you sure this is safe?”
“Come on, Ralsei. Don’t be a buzzkill.”
“Yeah! What did buzz ever do to you, Peach Boy?”
Susie held Lancer tightly by his sides, and slowly backpedaled, pulling him tighter and tighter against Ralsei’s scarf, which had been tied around two lamp posts to create a makeshift slingshot.
“I don’t want to ruin your fun,” Ralsei said, looking on with a frown, “but I don’t want Lancer to get hurt, either.”
Lancer grinned. “Don’t worry, I bounce!”
“Yeah, he bounces,” Susie echoed. She took another couple steps backwards, her muscles straining against the tension in the scarf. “Hey, Lancer! Do a flip for me, ‘kay?”
“I’ll do tons of flips,” Lancer assured her. “I’ll probably be flipping the whole time! Uncontrollably!”
“This is gonna be so epic.” Susie cackled and tugged the scarf a little farther. “Okay, big guy. Ya ready?”
Lancer giggled, putting his hands up. “Fire at will!”
“HELL YEAH!” Susie shouted.
She released the scarf, and Lancer let out a whoop of joy as he shot through the air, flying up and away. Susie grinned wide as she traced his trajectory, a slowly-shrinking circle against the pure black sky.
Ralsei stepped up next to her and narrowed his eyes. “Wait, is that…oh no.”
“What?” Susie followed his gaze. There, way up in the sky, a white rectangle appeared, and then quickly closed again after belching out a pair of plummeting figures—one blue, one white. And Lancer was heading straight for them. “Oh.”
Susie and Ralsei took off at a run for the landing space just outside Castle Town, necks craned to the sky. Susie winced as Lancer smashed straight into the white-clad figure and a shrill feminine shriek filled the air.
They passed the front wall just in time to see Kris stick a three-point landing on the rock, and then a second later, Noelle crash flat on her face, Lancer sitting innocently on her back.
Noelle groaned. “What…Where…”
Lancer hopped off of her, scampering frantically past Susie. “Abort! Abort! They’re sending falling girls to intercept us! They know our plans!”
Everyone watched as Lancer ran off, and then turned to face each other. Ralsei stepped forward and offered Noelle a paw—she stared at him for a few seconds in confusion, then cautiously took his hand.
“Kris?” Susie watched with a raised eyebrow as Noelle got to her hooves. “Why is she here?”
“I told her,” Kris said simply.
“Oh.” Susie crossed her arms and looked Noelle up and down. Noelle caught her gaze and blushed a little, looking away. “Well…I guess that’s fine, since she helped us save the world or whatever.” She took a step forward and pointed a talon at Noelle. “But you can’t tell anyone, okay? This is like…ultra top super secret!”
“I…Of course. I don’t think anyone would believe me, anyway.” Noelle spun in a slow circle as she surveyed the whole Dark World. “This is incredible. I always thought there was something weird about that dream…”
“R-Right, uh—welcome to Castle Town, Noelle!” Ralsei clasped his hands together and flashed a winning smile. “I’m Prince Ralsei, the caretaker of this town. It’s so nice to meet you properly!”
“Oh! Um, you too, Ralsei.” Noelle smiled politely. “It seems like a very nice town. Did you build it yourself?”
“It built itself,” Ralsei said chipperly as he started leading them all back into the town. “We should show you around!”
“That’d be lovely,” Noelle said. She was still looking every which way, her eyes full of wonder.
Susie felt something stir in her gut as she focused on Noelle. She thought back to yesterday, when Ralsei had told her she had a crush on Noelle; and then earlier today, when Noelle had confessed to having a crush on Susie. Susie had brushed both of those off at the time, but they’d been creeping into her thoughts more and more all day.
She couldn’t make sense of it. Her and Noelle, going out? It was nonsense. They were total opposites—it would never work. So why was she thinking about it so much?
Even more reason to get Kris with Noelle, really. See, that was a pair that made sense. They’d known each other forever, they lived in the same neighborhood, they came from good families, they were both smart, and funny, and cute…
“Oh My Circuitboards Noelle Sweetie Honey Darling Is That You.”
They passed into the main square, and Susie was pulled from her thoughts as Queen swooped in out of nowhere and looped an arm around Noelle’s shoulders before anyone could stop her.
“Oh I’ve Missed You So Much Noelle. You’re My Very Favorite Lightner Do You Know This. And I Don’t Say That Lightly.” She opened her mouth and a familiar hooting laugh poured out. “LOL Get It. Lightly. Because You’re A Lightner. I’m Hilarious.”
“Queen!” Noelle smiled nervously. “You’re, uh…you’re here!”
“Oh Yes I Am So Sorry About The Kidnapping Thing Dear That Was A Massive L On My Part But I’m A Better Robot Now. I Would Never Kidnap Anyone These Days And Certainly Wouldn’t Turn Their Face Into A Robot One.”
“How…nice of you,” Noelle said carefully.
Ralsei cleared his throat. “Noelle actually just arrived, Queen. I was going to give her a tour, but if you’d like to stop by after that, then maybe—”
“A Tour? Oh I Thought You’d Never Ask.” Queen began leading Noelle away, pushing her along by the small of her back. “I’m The Best At Tours. Let Me Show You My Beautiful New Manor Which Is Also A Castle Now And Also The Only Important Thing Worth Showing You. Right This Way Dear.”
Noelle stumbled along. “Oh—um—”
“Wait, Queen!” Ralsei called, running after them. “Stop, just—at least slow down! I was going to give the tour! Queen!”
Susie watched as the three of them wandered off. “Uh…is Noelle gonna be okay?”
“Probably,” Kris replied. “But you should go after her just in case. She’d appreciate it.”
Susie side-eyed them. “Wouldn’t she prefer if you went after her?”
“Hmm…no, I think she’d prefer you,” Kris said, nodding thoughtfully.
“But you know her better.”
“Sure. You’ve already saved her from Queen once before, though.”
“Yeah, well…I don’t want to go after her. Because I’m so rude and selfish.” Susie narrowed her eyes at them. “You do it.”
“No,” Kris said. “You do it.”
“Angel dammit, Kris!” Susie fumed. “She’s more comfortable with you. You went on that whole cyber city adventure together!”
“Ferris wheel,” Kris countered. “With hearts. Which she knows was real, now, by the way.”
Susie’s face grew hot. “That—shut up! Stop it!”
Kris tilted their head to the side. “Stop what?”
“Stop…whatever this is! Why are you even resisting so much? You’re the one with a crush on her!”
Kris froze.
Susie slapped a hand over her mouth. “I mean—shit. Ah, well, who cares anymore, right?”
“You know?” Kris said, barely a whisper. “How?”
“I overheard you talking with Catti,” Susie said. “I’ve been trying to get you with Noelle all week, and you keep getting in my way. It’s infuriating!”
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Kris facepalmed. “I’ve been trying to get you with her all week, you complete idiot.”
“What—what the fuck?” Susie snarled. “Why would you try to get us together when you like her?!”
“Because she likes you!”
“No, she likes you!” Susie insisted. “She told me so herself!”
Kris looked at her like she was out of her mind. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“This morning!” Susie insisted. “She was talking to me outside of school because she thought I had a crush on you—”
“Excuse me?”
“—and then after I said I definitely a thousand percent don't have a crush on you—”
“Well, jeez, you don’t have to say it like that.”
“—she told me that she liked me—”
“See?!”
“—and then I said she didn’t, because she had a crush on you, and she admitted to it.”
“Wait, what?” Kris narrowed their eyes. “But why would she…”
Susie flipped her hand to the side as she bulldozed onwards. “So obviously I told her that you liked her back—”
“You fucking what?!”
“—but she didn’t believe me!”
“Oh thank the Angel.” Kris sighed. “Also: she really does have a crush on you.”
“Okay, fine, maybe she does. Whatever. But she also likes you!” Susie accused. “And you like her! This isn’t rocket science, dude.”
“You like her too, though.” Kris took a step forward and put their hands on their hips. “Or do I need to bring up the ferris wheel again? Or maybe the way your tail always wags around her? Or how you blush when she touches you? Or how you’re blushing right now?”
“You—shut up!” Susie slapped her hands over her cheeks as Kris leered up at her. Annoying little jerk…
“I made a promise to Noelle that I’d help her get together with you, and I intend to keep it.” Kris reached up and poked Susie on the nose. “So stop being stupid and ask her out.”
“I. Uh.” Susie’s blush deepened, and she took a step back, brushing a finger over the spot where Kris had poked her. “I just—I can’t.”
Kris raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Why not?”
“Cause…Cause I have to prove I’m a better wingmonster than you! Yeah!” Susie glowered at them. “I’m not gonna just walk away and let you have this, Kris. Noelle will be your girlfriend!”
“What? Oh, Angel kill me.” Kris groaned and threw their hands up. “This is impossible! I’m the one walking away and letting you have this. I’m taking the L here voluntarily, Susie. Just accept it!”
“Hell no!” Susie barked. “You think you’re so smart, setting up your silly little study dates. Well, you’re not. I’m in the wingmonstering business to win, Kris, and you’re going down!”
“You know what? Fine. If you want to play it like that, then it’s your funeral.” Kris straightened their posture and held their hand out to Susie. “First person that Noelle asks out loses, and has to go out with her. It has to be voluntary, too—no blackmailing or threatening or tricking her.”
Susie narrowed her eyes. “And whoever loses owes the other person twenty bucks, too.”
“Hmm…” Kris met her eyes. “Deal.”
Susie grinned and took Kris’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re on.”
Noelle’s head spun as she stumbled out of the closet. She was back in the school; her clothes were back to normal; she couldn’t feel her magic. But when she looked over her shoulder at the black void behind the closet doors, she knew it had been real.
“This is crazy,” she mumbled. “How on Earth…”
Before she could get too bogged down in the ramifications of her school containing a portal to an alternate dimension where magic was real, though, her phone buzzed. Noelle’s eyes widened—was that her mother? How late was it? Had she missed dinner or something?
She let out a breath when she opened her phone and saw that it was just Catti texting her. The relief didn’t last long, though, when she read the actual message.
Kitti Catti:
Dunno if dreemurr actually told you or not. But in case they didn’t. I made a promise to tell you in their place. So here goes.
Kitti Catti:
Kris has a really big embarrassing crush on you.
Kitti Catti:
That’s all. Have a good one.
Noelle stared at her phone, unseeing. “…What?”
Chapter 7: Scalene
Summary:
Kris tries to get Noelle's attention. Susie doesn't pay attention in class. Noelle receives some advice from an unlikely source.
Notes:
Cw: Prejudiced opinions against polyamory (nothing too serious but just in case)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“So…if we refer to our, uh, the unit circle, we can see that we’re at 270 degrees, which, um. In radians, that’s three pi over two, and…”
Kris tuned out Alphys’s drones and grabbed their phone. They had more important things going on than trigonometry.
Kris:
Noelle. I’ve been doing some discreet information gathering
Kris:
Discreetly
Kris:
And I have good reason to believe that Susie likes you back
Kris:
If you’re ever gonna ask her out. Now’s the time
They looked up at Noelle…whose phone was tucked away in her desk, buzzing softly as she raised her hand.
Alphys smiled at her. “Yes, Noelle?”
“Why couldn’t we solve this problem by taking the tangent instead?” Noelle asked.
“Oh, ah…well…” Alphys looked at the board. “See, you could, but…the angles…um…”
Kris scowled and ducked their head down again.
Kris: Noelle stop being a model student and check your phone during class like a normal person
Her phone vibrated again as they sent the text, but as they watched, it vibrated a second time, and then a third time, without Kris sending any further messages. They looked over their shoulder to see Susie typing away at her own phone screen. She met Kris’s eye, grinned, and started typing even faster.
Kris grit their teeth and turned back around, their fingertips flying over the little keyboard as they tried to preempt whatever Susie was telling Noelle. Between their dual efforts, Noelle’s phone was blowing up with texts, to the point that the other students were starting to notice.
Alphys cleared her throat. “And so” — buzz — “when you get the radians” — buzz — “you end up with, ah, a radical in the denominator” — buzz — “a-nd, um” — buzz — “er” — buzz — “Noelle…”
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Alphys.” Noelle scrambled to silence her phone. “I don’t know who that is. Everyone should know I’m in class right now…”
“What if it’s an emergency?” Berdly wondered aloud.
Off to the side, Catti rolled her eyes and grumbled something unintelligible under her breath.
“An emergency?” Noelle’s eyes widened. She quickly unlocked her phone, but as she read through the messages, her gaze narrowed into annoyance, and then confusion, and then embarrassment, and then a mix of all three as she shot glances back at Kris and Susie.
Kris tapped out a meek, sorry, and sent it. Noelle glanced at the notification and gave them an uncertain frown.
“It’s, um…It’s nothing,” she declared. “Please continue, Ms. Alphys.”
Alphys turned back to the board, and Noelle lowered her phone back into her desk—but instead of turning it off, she started typing. Pretty soon, Kris got a message back.
Little Miss Gayass: Kriiiis, what is wrong with you?? You shouldn’t be on your phone during class! We have a test tomorrow!
Kris:
Noelle. Your supposed to be on your phone during class
Kris:
That’s what class is for
Kris:
Also ask Susie out
Little Miss Gayass:
Um…about that. XP
Little Miss Gayass:
Are you SURE she likes me back?
Little Miss Gayass:
Also…are you SURE you want me to get with her?
Little Miss Gayass:
I know you’ve been trying to set us up for a long time, but I don't want you to
Little Miss Gayass:
Um
Little Miss Gayass:
Regret anything…?
Kris:
What
Kris:
Why would I regret anything
Kris:
Noelle watching you two circle around each other has been excruciating. Were so close now. Just ask her out and I can finally know peace
Little Miss Gayass:
Okay, but…
Little Miss Gayass:
Well, Susie’s been texting me too, you know?
Kris: Don’t listen to her
Little Miss Gayass: And Catti texted me yesterday after the Dark World… >.>
Kris: Don’t listen to her either
Little Miss Gayass: You should’ve told me you liked me! I don’t want you to be jealous of Susie!!
Kris: My batteries dying I have to go
Little Miss Gayass: Kris!!!!!! We should talk about this!
Kris:
Noelle put your phone away you shouldn’t text during class
Kris:
We have a test tomorrow remember. So much for being a good student smh
Little Miss Gayass:
Kriiiiiiiiiiis!
Little Miss Gayass:
How hard is it to admit you liiiiiiiike me? :P
Kris switched their phone off and twisted their head away from the petulant look Noelle was shooting them over her shoulder, their face burning. Stupid Noelle, stupid Susie, stupid Catti, stupid bet…stupid, stupid, stupid.
But as Noelle turned back down to her phone, Kris risked a glance at her. They could see her in profile, giggling silently and tucking a lock of golden hair behind one of her ears, and for a second, they thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to lose twenty dollars.
Susie watched with a hawk-like gaze as Noelle turned around and gave Kris a petulant look, and they glanced away with a blush. Susie snickered as she returned to her text conversation with Noelle.
Susie:
did they deny it
Susie:
they denied it didnt they lol
Jingles: Actually, they didn’t deny it…they just avoided the question! XD
Susie:
lmaoooo classic kris
Susie:
what a loser
Susie:
i bet if you asked them directly theyd literally run away
Susie looked up to see Noelle laugh under her breath, and felt a swell of pride. Noelle moved a strand of hair out of her face and kept typing, her messages popping up on the screen.
Jingles:
Fahaha! I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
Jingles:
It’s kind of cute.
Susie:
yes
Susie:
super cute
Susie:
kris is really really cute im glad you agree
Jingles: Ummmmmm…okay Susie. But you deeeefinitely don’t like them, right? X)
Susie:
cant one friend call another friend cute without it being weird
Susie:
angel damn, woman
Susie:
gimme a break here
Jingles: And you deeeeefinitely don’t like me, either, right…?
Susie frowned. What was Noelle getting at? Fuck, Kris had probably been filling her head with all sorts of dumb bullshit, hadn’t they? She set her jaw and poked aggressively at her phone, ignoring the spiderwebs of cracks along the screen.
Susie:
what
Susie:
no
Susie:
why are we talking about me were supposed to be talking about kris
Susie:
and how they avoided your questions
Jingles: I think you’re one to talk, Susie, fahahah!! :P
Susie:
HEY IM NOT AVOIDING QUESTIONS
Susie:
im just trying to stay on topic
Susie:
i like you a NORMAL amount
Susie:
as in like
Susie:
friend-like
Susie:
not fuckinnn
Susie:
whatever kris said to you
Susie:
they dont know what theyre talking abt
Susie:
just ignore everything they ever say ever
Jingles: Fahaha! Sure thing, Susie. ;)
Susie growled. What was that? Was that a fucking winky face? Why was Noelle winking at her? What the hell was going on?!
Susie:
STOP WINKING
Susie:
ANGEL DAMMIT
Susie:
whatever
Susie:
you should ask out kris
Susie:
thats the point here okay
Jingles: Yeah yeah, I get it, fahaha! You’ve told me to ask them out like ten times! XD
Susie:
yeah so why the fuck haven’t you listened to me yet
Susie:
huh
Susie:
ur really dropping the ball here
Jingles:
Don’t rush me, Susie!!!
Jingles:
I’m still figuring out how I feel about Kris.
Susie:
okay here ill help
Susie:
u like them
Susie:
there
Jingles: Susieeeee! >///<! It doesn’t work like that!
Susie:
what the fuck is that
Susie:
that thing in the middle
Jingles: It’s an emoticon!
Susie:
no i know but like
Susie:
is it like
Susie:
someone who just got their face mauled by a bear
Susie:
and has bloody claw marks down their face
Jingles:
Um.
Jingles:
No?
Jingles:
It’s blushing!
Susie:
oh
Susie:
OH
Susie:
so ur saying you DO like kris
Susie:
fucking,,,,,,gottem
Jingles:
:PPP
Jingles:
Look Susie, to be honest, I’m a little confused. A lot’s been happening this past week, and I’m still sorting out my feelings for you and Kris. I think I really like both of you, so it’s been hard trying to figure out where I actually stand, you know? I don’t think I’m ready to ask either of you out immediately.
Jingles:
No matter how much you each apparently want me to ask out…the other person? Okay that part is confusing too. What’s going on between you two??
Susie stared at the messages. She could feel sweat dripping down her brow. She’d known Noelle liked her—Noelle had told her yesterday, and Kris had reaffirmed it—but still, hearing her talk about it so candidly was doing weird things to Susie’s brain. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to win this bet or lose it.
Jingles:
Um…you there? XP
Jingles:
Sorry, I hope i didn’t weird you out fahaha (*/ω＼*)
Shit. Susie didn’t know how to respond, but if she didn’t say anything, it would look terrible. She had to think of something, anything to say, and she had to do it quick.
Susie: cringe
Noelle: ???????
Susie barely resisted banging her face into her desk as hard as she could. Angel, what was wrong with her?
Susie:
sry i panicked
Susie:
bye
Jingles: Oh, um. Bye?
Susie stood up in the middle of one of Alphys’s sentences and walked directly out of class, keeping her shoulders hunched and face down the whole way to the door.
Susie hadn’t come back after she’d left class. Noelle had hoped she might return, but she hadn’t expected it, and by the time the final bell rang, she’d been proven right. As Noelle walked to her locker, she scrolled back through her messages with Kris and Susie, and eventually had to stop herself. It was just too embarrassing.
She looked up as Kris passed her. “Oh! Kris!”
They froze and stared at her with wide eyes, like they expected her to pounce. They said nothing.
“Could…Could we talk?” Noelle asked gently.
Kris spoke like there was a gun to their head that would go off if they said the wrong thing. “Talk…about…what?”
“Well, um.” Noelle cleared her throat. “Feelings? Between…you and me? That may or may not exist?”
Kris turned and ran.
“KRIIIIIIS!” Noelle shouted after them, stomping her hoof. “REAL MATURE, DOOFUS!”
Catti gave Noelle a pat on the shoulder as she passed by. “Good luck.”
Noelle sighed. This was a mess. This was a huge, giant mess. The only explanation for this situation that made any sense to her was that, somehow, she’d managed to convince both of her crushes that she would never go out with them because she was far too in love with the other person to do so, which had caused them both to try to set her up with each other. Honestly, she probably would’ve found the whole thing deeply hilarious in its irony if she weren’t caught smack-dab in the middle of it.
But with Susie and Kris both gone, there was nothing to do but go home. She was halfway to her house when a car pulled up alongside her—her mother’s car. With her mother in it. Noelle stopped walking. What was she doing here?
Carol rolled down the window. “Well? Get in. Unless you want to walk the rest of the way.”
“Uh, thanks.” Noelle pulled open the passenger door and climbed in, dutifully buckling up her seatbelt. “You’re off work early, huh?”
“I am,” Carol said as she eased back onto the gas. “We have the dinner this evening, after all. I need time to change.”
Noelle frowned. “The dinner?”
“Yes. Toriel invited us over, remember?”
“Wait. We’re having dinner at Kris’s house tonight?”
Her mother gave her a side-eye. “Noelle, I told you this yesterday.”
“What? No you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did,” Carol insisted. “I distinctly remember telling you.”
“Mom, you really didn’t tell me.” Noelle laughed. “Trust me, I would’ve remembered if I was going to have dinner with Kris tonight.”
“You don’t have to lie, you know. It’s okay if you forgot.”
“But I…” Noelle sighed. She wasn’t going to win this. “Okay, well, I suppose it doesn’t matter either way. When are we heading over?”
“We should be there by five-thirty.”
“Right.” Noelle swallowed. “And…I have to go?”
“What? Of course you have to go.” Carol looked away from the road for a second to give her an incredulous look. “What kind of question is that? Why wouldn’t you want to go?”
“Oh, well, um…Kris and I…” Noelle ran a hand through her hair. “It might be a little awkward, that’s all.”
They approached the gate, and as Carol pressed the button on her remote key, it swung open. “What happened? Are you two in a fight?”
“No, no, not a fight. We’ve just been, um…well.” Noelle looked away. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
Of course Carol wouldn’t let her off that easily. Fortunately, as they pulled to a stop in the driveway, Noelle had a bit of time to collect her thoughts while they unbuckled and clambered out of the car.
“Well…I realized yesterday that Kris has a crush on me. And they know I know. And we’re…still sorting that out.”
“I’m sorry,” Carol said as she fit her key into the lock, “did you say that you just learned that Kris has a crush on you?”
“Y…Yes?” Noelle followed her mother into the house. “How would I have known?”
“Sweetie. They weren’t subtle .”
“Wait, you knew?!” Noelle exclaimed. “You knew that Kris had a crush on me? This whole time?”
“Of course I did. So did your father, and the Dreemurrs, and—and everyone, honey. Everyone!” Carol waved an arm around vaguely as she set her purse down on one of the foyer’s side-tables. “I didn’t realize you had no idea. Honestly, Noelle, for such a smart girl, you can be remarkably oblivious.”
“I…I don’t…”
Carol rolled her eyes. “Look. Even if you didn’t know, I don’t see what the problem is. You’re into that delinquent girl at the moment, no?”
“I know you know her name,” Noelle huffed.
Carol ignored her. “Just turn Kris down. I doubt they’ll take it too badly—there’s no way they’re expecting you to say yes. I mean, they’ve gone this long pining alone. I’m sure they’re well adjusted by now.”
“Mom…”
“What? Don’t give me that look. I’m just being honest.” Carol strolled into the kitchen and fished around in the cupboard that Noelle wasn’t allowed to open. “Hmmm…Do you think Toriel likes red or white?”
“I…don’t think she drinks?” Noelle clasped her fingers together. “She’s, you know, she’s very religious and all.”
“Oh, Noelle.” Carol chuckled a little. “She drinks.”
Noelle stared, not quite sure what to say. After a second, Carol decided on a bottle of wine and walked it out to the foyer, setting it next to her purse.
She began walking towards the stairs, but Noelle stepped forward. “Um—it’s not that easy, though. With Kris, I mean.”
“Yes it is,” Carol said, blasé as ever. “I turned your father down five, six times when we were in college. I found it a remarkably painless experience.”
“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I think I might like Kris back.”
That got Carol to pause. “You what?”
“I like Kris.”
Her brow rose. “Romantically?”
“Um…I think so,” Noelle mumbled.
“But on Monday you told me—in no uncertain terms—that you didn’t like Kris.” Carol put her hands on her hips. “In fact I think you’ll recall that you refuted the notion rather fervently.”
“Uh, yeah, I remember. But now I think I might like them?”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Noelle straightened her back, trying to match her mother’s height. “What, I can’t change my mind?”
“It’s been three days.”
“A lot can happen in three days!”
“Oh, Angel save me.” Carol closed her eyes and rubbed her index fingers against her temples. “Maybe we should sit down for this.”
She didn’t wait for a response, stalking into the living room. Noelle followed and took an awkward seat next to her on the couch.
“Okay. Rewind,” Carol began. “Before all of…whatever this is. You didn’t know Kris liked you, and you were into Susie.”
“Yeah,” Noelle said.
“Then you find out—extremely belatedly—that Kris likes you . And now all of a sudden you have a crush on them?”
“W-Well…it’s not like I developed feelings for them just because I realized they liked me,” Noelle argued. “I’m not that desperate.”
Carol opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of it, and hesitated for a second. Eventually, she settled on, “Right. That wasn’t necessarily my implication.”
“Necessarily?”
“That wasn’t my implication,” Carol said firmly. “But I do have to be honest with you, Noelle—if your attraction for Susie fell away so suddenly like that, then are you sure you were really feeling what you thought you were?”
Noelle put up a hand. “Oh, no, I still like Susie!”
Carol narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me?”
“I just like Kris now, too.”
“What?” Carol blinked at her. “What? No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“You can’t like two people at once, Noelle. It doesn’t work like that.”
“Why not?” Noelle crossed her arms. “Says who?”
“Says—says everyone! Says the government! Society!” Carol placed her hands in parallel. “Think about marriage. You know? It’s between a man and a woman.”
“Or a woman and a woman,” Noelle countered.
“Yes, obviously, I was—it was an example. It doesn’t matter.” Carol was looking more uncomfortable by the second. It was actually kind of satisfying to watch, in a way. “Marriage is between two monsters.”
“Or a monster and a human,” Noelle said pointedly.
“Oh for the love of—stop nitpicking the example! My point is that it’s between two people.”
“Okay, well, I’m seventeen, so I can’t get married anyway.” Noelle shrugged. “I’m not talking about marriage or anything. I just like both of them. I’m…pretty sure that’s normal, actually.”
“But it doesn’t make sense,” Carol stressed. “Be pragmatic, Noelle. What are you going to do here? Date both of them at once?” She scoffed.
“I—” Noelle stopped abruptly as she came to a realization. Her eyes widened. “Wait. Mom. Mom!”
“What? What?!” Carol leaned backwards on the couch, meeting her daughter’s mounting excitement with an equal volume of confused trepidation. “What is it?”
“That’s it! You’re a genius! I can date both of them at once!”
“Okay. That is the opposite of what I said.” Carol looked completely out of her depth. “You realize that this is the opposite of what I said, right?”
“I know, but I hadn’t considered that before. Dating them both at once!” Noelle grinned. “I mean—why couldn’t I?”
“Do you want a list?” Carol asked. “Because I could give a list of reasons why you can’t.”
“This is fantastic! I finally know what to do! Thanks, Mom.” Noelle gave her a quick side-hug. “You know, I don’t usually come to you for advice on this sort of thing, because you’re really bad at it—”
“Excuse me?”
“—but you really helped me out here. Thank you!”
Carol was staring at her like she’d grown a second head. “You’re…welcome?”
“Let me go get changed,” Noelle said, jumping to her hooves. “I want to wear something nice to this dinner!”
Noelle ran off to the staircase, leaving her mother paralyzed with confusion on the couch.
Notes:
Biweekly is working a lot better for me, so that's probably the schedule I'm going to stick to for the final few chapters of this fic. Thanks!!
Chapter 8: Hypotenuse
Summary:
Susie gets into an argument. Noelle does some research. Kris has an awkward conversation over dinner.
Chapter Text
Susie let out a deep breath and shuffled her feet a bit as she stood on Kris’s front porch. A dinner with Kris and Noelle sounded like the most awkward thing in the world right now, but it was also free food. And Susie could put up with a lot for free food.
She knocked at the door, and after a few seconds, Toriel pulled it open. “Susie, There you are! I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Yeah, no, thanks for…” Susie’s eyes drifted away from Toriel and locked onto Mayor Holiday, who was sitting at the dining room table. “…Having me.”
“Of course, dear.” Toriel followed her gaze. “Oh, yes—this is Carol Holiday, Noelle’s mother.”
“We’ve met,” Carol said tersely. “I wasn’t aware that Susie was the ‘friend of Kris’ you mentioned, Toriel. What a…surprise.”
If Toriel picked up on the tension, she didn’t show it, smiling pleasantly. “Oh, you know each other? How lovely!”
“It’s a, uh, pleasure to see you again?” Susie said hesitantly. “…Ma’am?”
Carol looked at her like she was roadkill. “Likewise.”
Susie cleared her throat awkwardly and turned to Toriel. “So, uh…where are…”
“Noelle’s in the bathroom, and Kris is up in their room,” Toriel said.
Susie threw her a quick thanks and power walked towards the stairs, up to Kris’s room. Kris was poking around on their brother’s computer, but turned at Susie’s entrance, waving slightly.
“Dude!” Susie exclaimed, baring her teeth. “You didn’t tell me Mayor Ice Queen was gonna be here!”
“I told you the Holidays were coming. Her dad is literally in the hospital. I don’t know who else you expected.”
“Yeah, well, you should’ve been more explicit. She fuckin’ jumpscared me when I came in.” Susie huffed, flopping onto Kris’s bed. “What’s her deal, anyway?”
Kris shrugged. “I think she’s just a mean person. You learn to manage it.”
“Yeah, well, she’ll have to learn how to manage me if she starts talking shit,” Susie boasted. “I don’t care if she’s the goddamn president — I don’t let people talk down to me like that!”
“Susie…” Kris pinched the bridge of their nose. “Please don’t antagonize Carol. It won’t end well for you.”
“Says who? I bet I could take her.”
Kris shook their head. “If you piss her off, she’ll make sure you never see Noelle again. Nobody wants that.”
“Oh, I see what’s going on here,” Susie said, grinning. “You’re afraid that Noelle’s mom is gonna keep her from asking me out, making it impossible for you to win the bet!”
“What? No. This isn’t about the stupid bet, this is about our collective friendship with Noelle.” Kris pursed their lips. “And maybe a little bit about the bet, but that’s not the point.”
“I knew it!” Susie leapt to her feet and put her hands on her hips. “What’s stopping me from strolling down there right now and calling her mom a bitch to her face? She’d never let Noelle ask me out! I’d have this thing in the bag!”
Kris frowned. “You’re bluffing. No way you’d jeopardize your entire relationship with Noelle for twenty bucks.”
“It’s about the principle of the thing,” Susie emphasized. “I’m just saying, if I wanted to beat you, I could. Really easily.”
“Okay. Then do it, you coward.” Kris stood from their chair and took a couple steps forward. “Go down there and call Carol a bitch. I’ll come and watch. We’ll see how easy that is for you.”
Susie stalked over to Kris, looking down at them in challenge. “Maybe I will. And then Noelle’s gonna ask you out so hard you’ll look stupid.”
“I have to say, Susie,” Kris began, craning their neck up to meet her eye, “it’s a little sad that you have to resort to such underhanded tactics in order to win our little wager. But I guess you don’t think you can beat me fair and square, huh?”
Susie growled and leaned down until her face was inches away from Kris’s. “You take that back.”
“You’re talking a big game for someone who can’t even put her money where her mouth is.”
Susie bared her fangs. She knew they were trying to get under her skin, but to their credit, it was working. “I’ll put your face where my fucking mouth is!”
“Uh, Susie…”
Kris’s voice was uncertain, and Susie suddenly realized how close their faces were. She could feel Kris’s breath on her lips, and she felt her hot anger morph into something else. “Um.”
“I, uh.” Kris cleared their throat. Neither of them pulled away. “Are you…”
The door burst open, revealing Noelle on the other side in a cute red and white dress. She looked frantic, out of breath, with a crazed look in her eye. “Oh, good! There you are! Will you go out with me?!”
Susie and Kris both stared at her, still inches away from one another.
“Wait.” Noelle narrowed her eyes. “What are you two doing?”
“Nothing!” Susie growled, pushing Kris’s face away with her hand and backing up.
“Who?” Kris met Noelle’s eye with a competitive intensity. “Who are you asking out?”
“Um…” Noelle cleared her throat. “B-Both of you…?”
Kris blinked. “Oh.”
“What? Hey! You can’t do that, that’s cheating!” Susie protested.
“Why not?” Noelle shrugged. “I couldn’t decide between you two, so I’m asking both of you!”
“But then who wins? I have twenty bucks riding on this, Noelle! I need that money!”
“You…” Noelle narrowed her eyes. “You two placed a bet on which one of you I was gonna ask out?”
“Maybe a little,” Kris admitted guiltily.
Noelle looked between them. “Okay, well, putting aside the fact that that’s…weird…I guess you both win, right?”
“Actually, I think we both lose,” Susie said.
“Susie!” Kris hissed, drawing a finger over their throat.
“You…” Noelle looked a bit hurt. “You mean the point of the bet was to not get asked out by me?”
“No, it was to convince you to ask out the other person,” Kris said. “So you’re right, we both won.”
Noelle frowned. “I’m still confused.”
“We can’t both win! What is this, Kindergarten?” Susie took a heavy step towards Noelle. “Choose one of us. Now!”
“Wh-Wh-What?” Noelle stared at her, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”
“Hell yeah I am! Come on, right now. Choose!”
“But—but I don’t—”
“Children!”
They all shut up and turned toward the door as Toriel poked her head in. “Dinner is ready.”
The three of them shared a look of panic.
“Mom, could we have a second?” Kris tried. “We were, um, in the middle of a conversation…”
“Nonsense, dear. Your food will grow cold if you wait much longer.” Toriel smiled sweetly at them and gestured expectantly. “You can talk more at the dinner table if you wish. Right this way, now!”
They exchanged desperate looks, but they all seemed to realize that there was no saving themselves. So, with her shoulders tense, Susie began shuffling forward, and the others followed her lead—a silent death-march to what was certain to be the most awkward dinner of their lives.
The air at the table was, to say the least, tense. Noelle ate her food quietly and tried very hard not to meet anyone’s eye. Susie had immediately gunned for the seat farthest away from Carol, and Kris, after losing some sort of heated staring contest with Susie from across the table, had sat opposite her. Noelle looked between them desperately, but in the end, the doe had no choice but to take the chair in the middle.
Noelle felt mortified. She had a horrible fear that she’d totally weirded out Kris and Susie earlier—but how was she supposed to decide between them? It was too much stress! And she still had to decide, apparently, in order to settle their stupid bet. Even without looking up from her food, Noelle could feel their expectant, judgmental stares from either side of her. (She didn’t actually know if they were looking at her like that—or at all—but she was too scared to check, just in case they were.)
Carol hummed pleasantly, pulling Noelle from her reverie. “This is delicious as always, Toriel.”
“Thank you, Carol!” Toriel smiled. “But wait until you see the dessert.”
“Actually, the dessert is pretty bad,” Kris said. “You probably shouldn’t have any.”
Toriel turned a thin smile at them. “Is that so, my child? In that case, you’re free to skip your share.”
“No, no, someone has to eat it,” Kris said, their voice deadly serious. “And I’m willing to make that sacrifice to save you all.”
Susie scoffed. “Yeah, right.”
Noelle giggled, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. She went to take a sip of water, but realized that her glass was empty. It figured—she always got thirsty when she was nervous.
She set the glass back down. “Where’s the…”
“I got it,” Kris and Susie said in unison, reaching out for the pitcher of water in the center of the table at the same time.
As their hands brushed against each other, wrapped around the handle, they locked eyes. Susie bared her fangs in a snarl, and Kris narrowed their eyes in challenge; neither of them said anything, and neither of them moved. Noelle looked between the two of them frantically, unsure what to do.
Carol cleared her throat pointedly. “I think she can reach it herself.”
Kris and Susie both drew back immediately, Kris mumbling an apology and Susie looking away, face red.
“Um…thanks, though,” Noelle said meekly as she grabbed the pitcher and filled up her glass.
There was a period of awkward silence broken only by the scraping of silverware. Eventually, Carol reached for the wine bottle and topped off her empty wine glass. She took a sip, and eyed Susie from across the table.
“So, Susie,” she began. Her tone seemed innocuous enough, but Noelle could tell there was something sharp lying underneath her words. “How long have you been friends with Kris?”
Susie scratched at her cheek with one claw. “Uhh…ever since we became partners, I guess.”
Carol’s eyebrow climbed up her forehead. “Did you say…partners?”
She leveled a strange glance at Noelle, who returned it with one of confusion.
“Yeah,” Susie said. “Alphys assigned us this group project last week.”
“…Oh.” Carol took a bite of her food. “I see.”
“You really hit it off, though, didn’t you?” Toriel asked cheerfully. “Practically joined at the hip! Why, I remember how proud I was when Kris said they’d been spending time with their new friend after school.”
“Mom, stop,” Kris muttered.
Noelle turned to them and giggled. “Oh, was that the day you and Susie spent all that time hanging out alone together in the supply closet?”
Carol’s eyes widened. She shook her head and took another sip of wine.
Kris kicked Noelle under the table. “I’m pretty sure she’s talking about the time we were studying with you and Berdly in the library.”
“Ohhh, yeah. That was fun.” Susie snorted. “We didn’t get much studying done, though.”
Carol’s attention snapped back to Susie. “Excuse me? What exactly were you doing?”
“I dunno.” Susie shrugged. “Just fooling around with each other.”
Noelle nearly choked on a mouthful of food. Kris kicked her again, even though that one was totally Susie’s fault for wording it like that.
“Wait,” Carol said, looking at Noelle with a horrified expression. “The bird boy is part of this too?!”
“No!” Noelle exclaimed.
Kris raised an eyebrow. “Sorry—part of what?”
“Angel save you all,” Carol said, before downing the rest of her wine in one go and reaching for the bottle.
Toriel watched her, lips pursed. “Oh my.”
Noelle stood up abruptly, her chair screeching against the floor. “I-I need to go to the bathroom! Be right back!”
“Hey, don’t leave us here with your mom!” Kris hissed at her, but Noelle ignored them, practically sprinting into the bathroom and throwing the door shut behind her.
“Oh, Angel,” she mumbled to herself. She pressed herself back against the door. “Oh, Angel kill me. Okay. Okay. I’m fine. It’s fine. Okay.”
She turned towards the mirror and gripped the sink with both hands. She could do this. She was Noelle Holiday, straight-A student, daughter to the mayor of Hometown. She could be normal about this for long enough to get through one dinner, right?
Right?
“Oh, Angel,” she repeated in despair.
She needed help. She looked away from the mirror, pulled out her phone, and opened a search browser.
🔎 | how to do polyamory
🔎 | polyamory step by step guide
🔎 | how to convince your friends to be in a polyamorous relationship with you
🔎 | how to convince your friends to be in a polyamorous relationship with you monster reddit
🔎 | fjsksjdhdsksh AAAAAAAAA!!!!
🔎 | how to delete search history on monster firefox app
Noelle threw back her head and groaned.
“Hey, don’t leave us here with your mom!” Kris hissed as Noelle stood up.
But Noelle paid them no mind, hurrying out of the room. Kris scowled as they turned back to the table, but quickly schooled their expression. This wasn’t a lost cause—they just had to steer the conversation away from anything Carol would find suspicious.
“So, Mrs. Holiday,” Kris began slowly. “How are…you doing?”
Carol set down her wine glass for what felt like the first time since the conversation had begun. She was definitely more than a little buzzed by now, her cheeks rosy and her nose glowing dimly. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”
Kris winced. So, that hadn’t worked. They needed a way out of this. They glanced helplessly at their mother, who thankfully seemed to get the message.
She turned and gave Carol a disapproving look. “What kind of question is that? I thought you already knew about my child’s affection for Noelle.”
As Susie stifled a cackle, Kris went beet red. “M-Mom!”
Carol scoffed. “Of course I know about that. Everyone knows about that.”
“Everyone?!” Kris asked, horrified.
Susie started snickering into her palm.
Kris fixed her with an acidic look. “Shut up!”
“I’m trying,” she choked out through her claws.
“Oh, you, you think this is funny, do you?” Carol accused, cutting through Susie’s laughter. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here!”
“Oh yeah?” Susie glared at her in challenge. “And what is going on here, Carol? Enlighten us.”
“It’s—it’s—seduction!” Carol stabbed her fork towards Susie. “You two have been seducing Noelle!”
“Carol!” Toriel snapped. Kris was more than used to how quickly Toriel’s polite demeanor could shatter, but Carol and Susie both seemed taken aback by her sudden fury. “You will not speak that way to children under my roof. This isn’t like you.”
“Ugh—apologies, Toriel. I may have had a sip too much wine.” Carol closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “But surely you’re concerned with what’s happening here, too, aren’t you?”
Toriel gave her an unimpressed look. “Not at all.”
Susie adeptly turned her snort-laugh into a cough.
Carol frowned. “Excuse me?”
“They are kids, Carol.” Toriel’s voice had regained its usual softness, but her look was steel. “Who cares if they are all dating each other as long as they are happy? Is that not what you want for Noelle—for her to be happy?”
Carol crossed her arms and averted her gaze.
Kris waited a few seconds before speaking up. “Um…Mom?”
Toriel’s smile returned. “Yes, Kris?”
“You…know that none of us are actually dating. Right?”
Toriel blinked. “Sorry?”
“None of us are dating each other yet,” Kris said.
Toriel was quiet for a moment, then turned to Susie. “Is this true?”
“Uhh…well.” Susie shifted awkwardly in her chair. “Yeah?”
“But you three are constantly flirting with one another. I simply assumed…” Toriel’s brow furrowing like it did when she was stuck on the morning crossword. “I’m sorry, but if you are not dating, then what in Angel’s name have you been doing these past two weeks?”
“Exactly. It’s unseemly,” Carol muttered.
Kris scratched at the back of their neck and avoided their mother’s gaze. “Well, that’s…”
They were saved by the sound of the bathroom door creaking open, and four pairs of eyes turned as Noelle stepped into the hallway. She tensed up as she met their stares, a panicked look in her eye.
“Um…why is everyone staring at me?” she asked, voice small.
For a few seconds, nobody answered. Then Susie spoke up: “Your mom accused us of seducing you and Toriel thought we were all dating.”
Noelle’s eyes, somehow, grew wider. “Wh-What? That’s—faha, that’s, um, that’s crazy. Us dating? I mean, that—I would never—er…”
She trailed off, and the house plummeted into an uncomfortable silence as she slowly retook her seat.
“Real smooth there,” Kris whispered to her as she took her seat, followed immediately by a whimper of pain as she stomped a hoof on their toes.
Nobody talked for a good few seconds, until a loud beep! sounded from the kitchen.
Toriel clapped her paws together. “Ah, that’s right! Who wants pie?”
“Me.”
“Yes, please.”
“Hell yeah!”
“Do you need help, Toriel?”
Toriel smiled at Carol. “Yes, that’d be lovely. One second, children.”
The two women stood and walked toward the stove, muttering at each other under their breaths. Kris, Noelle, and Susie all exchanged looks.
“What the heck were you guys talking about while I was gone?” Noelle hissed.
“Your mom tried to chew us out, but Toriel totally clapped her ass,” Susie said. “It was fucking epic.”
“I knew this dinner was going to be a disaster,” Kris sighed, picking at their food.
Noelle laughed a little, but her smile didn’t last. “Hey, um…about what happened upstairs…”
“Do you have a decision yet?” Susie asked, her eyes lighting up. “Who won the bet? Me, right? I won?”
“N-No! I don’t—we can all win! That’s the point!”
“Okay, well, you can’t win,” Susie said. “You weren’t part of the bet.”
“You’re just mad Noelle won and you lost,” Kris taunted, reaching across Noelle to poke Susie in the shoulder. “Loser. Loser. Loser. Lo—ow! No biting!”
“I barely bit you, you wimp,” Susie huffed as Kris retracted their arm and rubbed Susie’s saliva off on their sweater. “And by that logic, you lost, too!”
“Nobody has to lose!” Noelle stressed. “Polyamory is a thing! I found this really helpful Monster Wikihow article about it, so—”
“Oh my Angel.” Kris stared at her. “Monster Wikihow? Seriously?”
“L-Look!” Noelle defended, blushing. “It was clear, and direct, a-and it had some useful advice, and…and I think we should give it a shot!”
“Can we talk about this when your moms aren’t like ten feet away from us?” Susie growled. “If Carol gives me another lecture I’m gonna rip out her tongue.”
“Motion seconded,” Kris said. “Pie now, talking about feelings later.”
Susie nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”
As Toriel and Carol started walking back to the table, Noelle crossed her arms. “You two are impossible. Fine. But I’m holding you to that okay? We are actually going to talk about this, like mature monsters.”
“Whatever you say, Noelle,” Kris said.
Then Toriel set the pie down in the middle of the table, and asked Carol something about her work in Town Hall, and as the conversation moved on, Kris started brainstorming ways to get out of that conversation when the time came.
Chapter 9: Coterminal
Summary:
Kris has a heart to heart with Noelle. Susie gets a hug. Noelle forgets something important.
Notes:
We're back! Thank you for your patience; I got covid a couple weeks ago and it completely knocked me out, so I've been behind on everything for a while now. But there should only be one more chapter after this one, so I should be able to push through to the end! Hope you enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The pie disappeared in record time, much to Kris’s dismay. Susie had snatched up three pieces in the time it took Kris to have two, and when they reached for a third, they only met the harsh reprimand of their mother, who not-so-subtly reminded them to let the guests have some dessert, too.
And then Noelle had the audacity to giggle and stick her tongue out at them as she took the slice that Kris had been reaching for, to rub salt in the wound.
After dessert, Susie stood and cleared her throat. “I, uh, I should probably head out. Thanks for having me, Toriel.”
Toriel smiled. “Of course, Susie, it was—”
“Wait, Susie!” Noelle exclaimed, panicked. “You can’t leave now! What about, you know, that thing we were talking about before dinner, and, and—”
“Haha, yeah, uh.” Susie coughed loudly. Her face was bright red. “Yeah, sorry, but it’s getting late. Should really get going.”
Noelle looked positively betrayed. “But—”
“Okay thank you Toriel dinner was amazing see you guys tomorrow bye,” Susie spat in a rush as she hurried out the door.
Noelle groaned.
“What a sweet girl,” Toriel said idly as she started rounding up the dirty dishes. “Carol, would you like some water, perhaps?”
“Mmm…good thinking,” Carol muttered.
Kris set about stacking their silverware on their plate, but as they handed it over to their mother, they noticed Noelle was staring right at them.
They frowned uneasily. “What?”
“This is your house,” Noelle said.
“You’re just realizing that?”
“No, no—this is your house,” Noelle repeated. “You can’t run away.”
Kris’s eyes widened. “Um.” They cleared their throat. “Well, it is getting pretty late. Susie probably had the right idea, I’m, uh, I’m sure you and your mother are tired, and…”
They trailed off as they realized that Toriel and Carol weren’t even listening, laughing politely with each other in the kitchen as Carol sipped at a glass of water. Oh no.
Then they yelped as a firm hand grabbed their wrist.
“Let’s go to your room.” Noelle said it innocently enough, but her eyes held the same fire that she had whenever they played Super Smashing Fighters together.
Kris gulped. “Mercy?”
“Aww, come on, Kris,” Noelle said cheerily as she yanked them out of their chair and dragged them towards the stairs. “What are you afraid of? Scared I’m going to tease you about the big embarrassing crush you have on me?”
Kris felt the blood vessels in their face betray them. “Noelle…”
“Sorry—I mean, the big embarrassing crush you’ve had on me for years?”
They entered Kris’s room, and Kris yanked their hand out of Noelle’s grip, kicking the door closed behind them. “Hey, you have a crush on me, too!”
“I do!” Noelle placed a hand over her chest. “And under normal circumstances, when two people are aware that they share a mutual crush, and one of them asks the other one out, the response is, ‘Yes!’ and not, ‘Damn, looks like I’m out twenty bucks.’ ”
“I, uh—yeah, okay, that’s fair.” Kris slumped down on their bed, looking at their knees. “I’m sorry about the bet. It was stupid.”
Noelle laughed. “No, it’s okay. It’s exactly the kind of dumb thing you and Susie would come up with.” She paused, eyeing them. “You two are both idiots. You know that?”
“What were we supposed to do?” Kris shrugged. “We both liked you, you liked both of us…I figured, well, at least this way we aren’t tearing our friendship apart fighting over you.”
“You don’t have to fight over me, though.”
Kris looked away. “Yeah, well, if I’d known you were down with polyamory from the start, things would’ve gone differently.”
They felt Noelle staring at them, but they didn’t dare look. “Did you…did you think I wouldn’t be okay with…?”
“Most people aren’t, right?” Kris said quickly. “I mean, I never thought about it too hard, but like—I don’t know. You don’t think it’s weird?”
“I don’t think so. And even if it was, Kris, you know me.” Noelle giggled. “Just cause I’m not as weird as you doesn’t mean I’m not weird.”
Kris finally turned back to face her. She was smiling softly, kindly, her hair tumbling over the straps of her dress in golden curls. Kris met her eye, opened their mouth, and, like always, their words failed them right when they needed them most.
Noelle, though, didn’t seem to mind. She leaned towards them on the bed, pulling them into a side-hug and resting her head on theirs. They froze, caught in the sensation of her fur on their skin, her ear twitching against their scalp, her hair tickling their neck, but then, after a few seconds, they managed to relax into her embrace, letting out a breath.
“What would you have done differently?” Noelle asked, after a minute.
“What?”
“If you had known I was polyamorous from the beginning. What would you have done differently?”
Kris thought about it for a second. “I don’t know. Probably nothing, honestly. I want to say I would’ve asked you out, but…”
“Yeah, you’re even worse than me at it,” Noelle teased. “I mean—you still haven’t asked me out.”
“That’s because you asked me out first.”
“Fine. Give me your answer, then.” Noelle nudged up against them. “No dodging the question, no excuses. Just give me a yes or no.”
“Uh…” Kris swallowed. There was a lump in their throat that wouldn’t go away. “Okay, but—but if I say it now, it won’t be authentic.”
Noelle pulled away slightly and grabbed them by the shoulders, turning them to face her. “That,” she began, leaning in towards Kris’s face, “is an excuse. You’re really bad at following directions.”
Kris managed a smirk. “It’s my rebellious spirit.”
“Uhuh.” Noelle rolled her eyes. “And does that rebellious spirit want to go out with m—mmmm…”
She trailed off into a hum as Kris acted on impulse, pushing their mouth onto hers. They meant it to be quick—a peck, nothing more—but Noelle’s grip tightened on their shoulders, holding them there, and they found themself not wanting to resist that much, anyway, as her lips caressed their own.
Still, though, it was only a few seconds before they broke away. Kris sort of stared at her dumbly—if they were at a loss for words before, now they were completely bankrupt.
Noelle looked stunned, too, but only for a second before she composed herself. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at them. “Hmm…I don’t know, Kris. That still wasn’t a yes or no. I don’t think you’re very good at this.”
Kris blinked at her, their mouth hanging open, and produced a pathetic sort of whining noise. “Uh—sorry, um—”
“Kris, I’m just messing with you. You can give it but you really can’t take it, huh?” Noelle giggled again, bright and musical. “You’re adorable.”
Before they could muster a retort, Noelle gripped their shoulders and pulled them back onto her. Kris’s lips crashed onto hers a little more roughly than she’d probably intended, but she quickly corrected into something gentler. She took the lead this time, and it felt somehow both careful and greedy. Kris understood, though. They’d been yearning for this for years; they simultaneously needed to soak it in all at once and take it slow to make sure nothing went wrong.
But it wasn’t wrong. It was so, so right.
…Until the door opened.
“Noelle, it’s time to—oh, what the hell.”
Noelle nearly screamed into Kris’s mouth, and then full-on shoved them away, sending them tumbling backwards onto the bed.
“M-M-Mom!” Noelle stuttered out. It was like a switch had been flipped, and all her flirty confidence from a second before had been replaced with pure nerves. Kris would’ve found it hilarious under any other circumstance.
Noelle unsubtly wiped her mouth off on her wrist as she went on. “Um! Hi! What are—hi! We’re leaving? Great! Let’s go!”
Carol looked like she desperately wanted to down another bottle of wine. She turned to Kris. “I thought you said you weren’t dating. What happened to that? Did you change your mind in fifteen minutes? Why does this always happen with you children?”
Kris stared at her with wide eyes, their mouth refusing to open.
Fortunately, Noelle seemed to be experiencing the opposite problem, balancing out Kris’s conspicuous silence with a torrent of words as her nose practically lit up the room.
“What? Dating? Haha, we’re not dating! It’s just Kris! We’re just—friends? Friend kissing! Friends who are kissing and not dating—not that it would be bad if we were dating, I mean, if that happens then, um, then that would be fine. Right mom? Haha! Don’t answer that! I mean, what am I even talking about? It’s just nonsense! Don’t listen to me! You said we were leaving?”
Carol rubbed at her temples. “Angel above, smite me now, I beg of thee.”
“…It’s complicated,” Kris mumbled after a few seconds of awkward tension.
Carol snorted. “Uhuh. I’ll fucking bet.”
Noelle choked on air. “M-Mom?!”
“Come on, Noelle.” Carol turned and walked down the hall.
“Um—” Noelle stood and looked over her shoulder at Kris. “That was…good, though. I liked that.”
Kris couldn’t find their smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Noelle cleared her throat. “We should talk to Susie.”
“We might have to tie her down,” Kris said.
“Heh. Yeah.” Noelle stole a nervous glance at the open doorway. “Um. I’ll text you! Okay? And we can…talk.”
Kris flashed a thumbs up. Noelle nodded, and then hurried out of the room, hooves clicking in her wake.
Kris flopped onto their back and stared blankly at their ceiling, lips still tingling.
Alphys stood at the head of the class, lecturing over a Monster PowerPoint presentation that Susie was trying her hardest not to pay attention to.
“And so,” Alphys said, “the inciting event of Monster World War I was the assassination of Archduke Frans Ferdinand. Um—y-yes, Berdly?”
Berdly lowered his wing and used it to push up his glasses. “I believe you mean Monster Archduke Ferdinand, no?”
“Um…no.” Alphys frowned. “Ferdinand was a human.”
Berdly looked rather put-out. “Oh.”
“I think you’re confusing Human Austria-Hungary with the modern-day country of Monster Austria,” Noelle supplied. “When the Human Central Powers surrendered, the Monster Allied Powers split Human Austria-Hungary into Monster Austria and Human Hungary.”
Alphys cleared her throat. “Y-Yes, Noelle, that’s correct. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Um, where were we…”
Susie leaned back in her chair as Alphys droned on. She dragged her chewed-up pencil along the pages of her notebook, doodling little pictures of axes, explosions, and fire-breathing dragons. As she was touching up the blood splatters on a particularly gnarly hatchet, a ball of paper flew into her field of vision and bonked her on the snout.
Susie looked up with a growl at Kris, but they were pretending nothing had happened, staring straight ahead. With a huff, Susie uncrumpled the paper.
Check your phone
Susie rolled her eyes and fished her phone out of her pocket, navigating to her DMs with Kris.
FREAK: Now look at Noelle
Before she could stop herself, Susie craned her neck up. Noelle’s head was twisted over her shoulder, and as their eyes met, Noelle smiled and waved.
Susie quickly broke her gaze away, tapping furiously at her phone.
Susie: what the hell?!?!
FREAK:
She’s been staring at you all class
FREAK:
Have you still not talked to her
Susie: tf do i have to talk to her abt
FREAK: Susie. Come on
Susie:
okay well
Susie:
shut up
Susie:
have YOU talked to her
FREAK:
Yep. We talked after you left
FREAK:
And then texted all night
FREAK:
She’s probably going to keep trying to flirt with you in increasingly cringeworthy ways until you tell her yes or no
FREAK:
So you should really cut to the chase and give her an answer before she embarrasses herself
Susie looked up and saw that Noelle was still staring at her. Noelle waved again once she noticed Susie was looking, which, considering she was in the front row, was incredibly conspicuous. Behind her, Catti held her face in her paws, and next to her, Berdly was glancing between Noelle and Susie with confusion.
Susie awkwardly waved back.
Susie:
okay but
Susie:
what answer do i even give her?
Susie:
what answer did YOU give her??
FREAK: I said yes
Susie: you did????
FREAK: Yeah
Susie:
THAT MEANS I WIN THE BET!!!
Susie:
LOSER!!!
FREAK: No, it doesn’t, because she asked both of us out at the same time. The bet wasn’t about who started dating her first. We obviously tied
Susie: fuck
FREAK: We can each give each other twenty dollars if it would make you feel better
Susie: bitch do i look like i have twenty dollars
FREAK: Then??? What were you going to do if you lost???
Susie:
i wasnt gonna lose
Susie:
duh
FREAK: I can’t believe you would break the bro code like this
Susie: tf is the bro code
FREAK: You don’t even know the bro code? Sigh…I guess we’re not bros after all…
Susie: neither of us r dudes you weirdo
FREAK:
Irrelevant. It’s about spirit
FREAK:
Also, she’s staring at you again
Against her better judgment, Susie looked up at Noelle, who was indeed staring right at her. Just like the previous times, she smiled at Susie, but this time she shaped her fingers into a little heart.
Susie flushed. Catti slammed her head face-first into her desk. Berdly looked positively befuddled. Even Alphys stumbled in her speech, side-eyeing Noelle.
Susie retreated back to her phone.
Susie:
okay but
Susie:
if you two are…together?
FREAK: Basically, yeah
Susie: then why is she still bothering with me
FREAK: Cause she’s serious about the polyamory thing
Susie:
okay but
Susie:
you probably dont want me getting in between you two and fucking things up
Susie:
i mean noelles one thing but theres no way you actually want me involved right lol
FREAK: I’d love to have you. You’re cool
Susie: but isnt it weird
FREAK: If you think it’s too weird, that’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Noelle will understand
Susie:
no i mean
Susie:
dont YOU think its weird
FREAK:
Ha, I asked Noelle the same thing
FREAK:
No, I don’t think it’s weird. And for the record, you and I can stay friends even were both dating Noelle. We don’t have to kiss or anything if you don’t want to
Susie stared at her phone screen for a long while. She glanced at Noelle, who caught Susie’s eye and blew her a kiss. Susie managed a smile in return, even as Catti banged her face into her desk again.
Susie: big words for the loser who almost kissed me yesterday
FREAK:
Oh, are we talking about that? Because I’m pretty sure YOU were the one who almost kissed ME, Susie
FREAK:
And while I was texting Noelle last night, she told me that apparently you think I’m smart, and cute, and nice, and hot, and so many other things I can’t even remember…
Susie:
HEY i was wingmonstering for you when i said those things!
Susie:
youre fucking,,,stupid and ugly and mean and ugly
FREAK: yeah n you wanna kiss me about it sooooooo bad
Susie: shuddup!!!!
FREAK:
Lol
FREAK:
Okay sorry I shouldn’t tease you when you’re all vulnerable and compromised
FREAK:
Just think about it okay
Susie: ugh whatever
Susie turned off her phone and slouched farther down in her chair, hiding her face in her notebook. She pointedly avoided looking at Noelle or Kris for the rest of class, all the way up until the bell rang for lunch.
As chatter filled the classroom, Susie stood up—and jumped in surprise when she saw that Noelle was leaning over her desk.
“Hey, Susie,” she said. She somehow sounded both nervous and confident at once.
“Uh…hi, Noelle.” Susie swallowed. “Hey, about yesterday—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Noelle interjected. “More importantly, would you like to get lunch with Kris and me? You know…since you’re such a snack.”
Susie blinked. “Umm…”
“Five out of ten,” Kris said from where they were leaning against their desk.
“Shut up, Kris!” Noelle hissed, before whipping back around to Susie. “Uh—what I’m saying is—hey, if you were a, uh, a food regularly served in our school’s cafeteria, you’d be a CUTE-cumber!”
Susie furrowed her brow. “What?”
“Two out of ten.”
“It went down?” Noelle cried.
Kris shrugged. “Punchline was decent, setup needs work.”
“Okay, okay, okay. I got this. Um.” Noelle bounced a little on her hooves, like she was hyping herself up. It was, unfortunately, adorable. “Okay. Susie, are you lunch? Because if so, lunch should be on me today!”
Susie’s eyes widened. She felt her face burn. “I—uh—”
“Six out of ten.”
Noelle stomped a hoof. “Come on!”
“Hey, um…could you three maybe…do this in the cafeteria?”
They all froze, turning to face Alphys, who was wringing her hands at the head of the class. They mumbled vague apologies and shuffled out of the room.
“So, er…” Susie scratched at the side of her head as they walked to the cafeteria. “Aren’t you supposed to flirt with someone before you ask them out?”
“I, well—I mean, not necessarily,” Noelle stuttered. “It, like, it depends, you know?”
“No, Susie, you’re right. She’s a little pathetic,” Kris said.
“Oh, you’re one to talk, Kris! At least I’m trying.” Noelle pouted at them and then turned to Susie. “Look, I know this whole poly thing was kind of sudden, but I just—I couldn’t choose!”
“Nah, don’t worry. It’s cool.” Susie ran a claw through her hair. “Polyamory’s based. I just don’t get why you two want me of all monsters.”
“Because we like you, dumbass.” Kris punched her in the arm. “You think you’re some unlovable abomination, but you’re not. You just gotta let people love you.”
Susie stopped, right before the cafeteria doors. Noelle and Kris took another couple steps, then realized she’d paused, and slowed to look back at her.
“Are you okay?” Noelle asked.
Susie swallowed. “You mean that, Kris?”
They gave her a small smile. “Yeah. I do.”
“You—you deserve people who love you, Susie!” Noelle said, taking a step forward. “I don’t even mean us, necessarily, though obviously we do, but—just in general! You’re really cool, and it sucks that you sometimes…don’t seem to realize that.”
Susie clenched her fists tight, shaking her head so her shaggy bangs fell over her eyes. Then she couldn’t take it anymore and wrapped the two of them into a hug. She squeezed them tight, which conveniently hid her watering eyes from view.
“You guys are the best,” she muttered. “Sure. If you two wanna try this, then hell if I’m gonna be the third wheel. Let’s do it.”
“For real?” Noelle said excitedly.
Susie laughed. “Yeah, Jingles. For real.”
“Yes!” Noelle hugged Susie tighter. “I’m so good at this!”
“It unfortunately does say a lot about us that veritable gay disaster Noelle Holiday was the one to actually make this work,” Kris said.
“Oh, hush.”
The door to the cafeteria opened, and Susie immediately released Kris and Noelle as Catti appeared in the doorway. She stared at the three of them for a few seconds, then said, “You’re blocking the hall.”
“S-Sorry, Catti,” Noelle said, skirting out of the way.
Catti walked through them, a carton of cafeteria milk in her paw, and then turned at the last minute, eyeing them. “Who asked first?”
Susie snarled. “Mind your business.”
“I am. You’ve made this my business. Against my will.” Catti’s gaze snapped to Kris. “Dreemurr. Who asked first?”
Kris shoved their hands in their pockets and looked down. “…Noelle.”
Catti smirked faintly. “Ha. Figures.”
“But I kissed her first!” Kris added hastily as Catti walked away.
Susie looked between the two of them. “Wait, you two kissed already?”
Noelle laughed nervously and pushed her way into the cafeteria. “We…have a lot to talk about.”
Noelle giggled between bites of her sandwich. “Wait, wait, wait. Susie—you were trying to get Kris and me together the whole time?”
“Well how was I supposed to know they were trying to get you with me instead?” Susie defended. “I was trying to be a good friend!”
Kris bent their head back and tipped their chocolate milk carton upside-down, trying to eke out the last drops. “I mean, I guess we both succeeded in the end, right?”
“No, I succeeded in the end!” Noelle clapped a hand on the table. “Where’s my twenty bucks, huh?”
“Susie didn’t even have twenty bucks.” Kris rolled their eyes. “Totally betraying the bro code by putting up a false bet like that.”
Noelle narrowed her eyes. “The…bro code?”
“Don’t ask,” Susie growled.
“You people could never understand my heart.” A drip of chocolate milk fell from Kris’s carton and landed in their eye. “Ow, shit.”
Susie cackled. “HA! Idiot.”
“You’re the idiot,” Kris retorted.
“Yeah right, dumbass.”
“You wanna come over here and make out about it?”
“Don’t think I won’t call that bluff, Kris!”
“Who says I’m bluffing, tough guy?”
As the two of them went back and forth, Noelle glanced at the wall clock and swore. “Oh, shoot! We have to get back to class!”
“What, already?” Susie, who had the collar of Kris’s sweater bunched up in one claw, glared at the clock. “Dammit, I thought we had more time.”
“We’ve been talking a while.” Kris moved Susie’s claw off their sweater and patted it back down into place. “Come on, let’s go.”
“Uuuuuuugh. If we have to.” But despite her words, Susie dragged herself out of her chair.
Noelle got up to follow. She walked with a bounce in her step, pushing between Kris and Susie and grabbing each of their hands. “Gah! I’m so excited!”
“Really?” Susie looked down at her amusedly. “I couldn’t tell.”
“Look, I just—I feel like this is the best outcome,” Noelle said. “Everything came together, you know?”
“I feel like we’re forgetting something,” Kris said.
“Oh, come on.” Noelle laughed. “What could we possibly be forgetting?”
Noelle let go of their hands to open the door to the classroom. Alphys was standing in front of her desk holding a stack of papers, and turned to them with a smile.
“Oh, great! You’re, uh, just in time for the trig test. I hope you studied!”
Noelle felt her heart sink in her chest. “Oh, Angel dammit.”
Notes:
whaaaat I don’t have a kriselle bias. Shut up. Don’t at me
Chapter 10: Right Triangle
Summary:
Susie wraps up a test. Noelle goes on a date. Kris has some cookies.
Notes:
Hey! Thank you all for your patience with the updates for this fic; things have been crazy as I wrap up the end of the semester. But I've got a double-length chapter here for ya to close things out! Hope you all enjoy, and thanks for sticking around for this funny little mess.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
At the end of the day, Susie lumbered out of the classroom with her hands in her pockets and trig formulas rattling around in her skull. The test had been very long and very annoying—Susie’s ass hurt from the crappy plastic chairs, and her claw had a nasty cramp from writing so much, but somehow she’d made it through the whole thing with only a few skipped questions.
Alongside her, Kris seemed half-dead, and Noelle appeared to be wallowing in despair, her eyes shrunk and sullen. The two of them had been pushing the limits of Alphys’s seemingly endless patience, penciling in answers until five minutes past the bell, and Susie, dumbass that she was, had waited for the losers, so the three of them were alone in the hallway, their classmates long gone.
“That was the worst I’ve ever done on a test in my life,” Noelle groaned as she opened her locker. “I can’t believe I forgot to study last night! Oh, I’m such an idiot…”
“Wow,” Kris said. “You’re saying you would’ve rather been studying than texting me?”
Noelle stuck her tongue out. “Yes.”
“Aw, come on, Jingles,” Susie said, nudging her shoulder. “How bad could you have done? You’re the smartest kid in class. What are you scared of, a B?”
Noelle shifted uncomfortably. “I—I know, it’s just…”
“If you had her mom, you’d be scared of a B, too,” Kris said. “I get what you mean, though. I’m just hoping I was able to pass.”
Susie rolled her shoulders. “I dunno, I actually feel pretty good about this one. As far as tests go, I mean. It’s the most I’ve ever studied for one.”
Kris snorted, in time with the clang of their locker slamming shut. “Is it really studying if you’re ogling Noelle the whole time?”
“Hey!” Susie felt her cheeks start to burn. “I was not ogling Noelle! I told you, I was wingmonstering for you!”
Noelle laughed. “We actually did get a lot of studying done, though. Despite Susie constantly trying to pitch you as the hottest person alive.”
Kris shrugged. “Well, she’s not wrong.”
“Uhuh. Keep telling yourself that,” Susie said.
“Oh, please.” Kris cocked their hand on their hip and turned towards Susie. “You’re obsessed with me.”
Susie scoffed. “Wow. I knew you were desperate, but this is something else.”
Noelle looked between the two of them. “Um…”
“I’m desperate? You think I’m desperate?” Kris chuckled. “Nice to meet you, pot, I’m kettle.”
“What the hell do pots and kettles have to do with this, you dumbass?”
“It’s a metaphor, dumbass!”
“It’s actually an idiom,” Noelle pointed out. “Also, shouldn’t we be—”
Susie barely heard her as she barreled on. “Metaphors are for pussies! Just say what you mean!”
Kris crossed their arms. “I’m saying you’re helplessly in love with me.”
Susie grit her teeth and took a step forward. “The fuck I am! You trying to lose your face, ya little shit?!”
“Ohh, you wanna kick my ass so bad it makes you look stupid,” Kris taunted.
“Don’t think I won’t, freak,” Susie growled, grabbing the front of Kris’s sweater in one claw.
“Oh, gosh…”
Susie’s head snapped to the side. Noelle was leaning back against the lockers, watching them with wide eyes. Her face was washed in the bright red glow of her nose, and a blush ran all the way up to her ears, which pressed back against her head.
“Don’t, um—” She swallowed. “Don’t stop on my account.”
Susie stared at her, and then stared back at Kris, meeting their eyes. She groaned and let go of Kris’s sweater, taking a step back. “Ugh, nevermind. Noelle had to go and make it weird.”
“I-I didn’t even do anything!” Noelle protested.
“Nah, you made it weird,” Kris said.
“It was already weird! You and Susie were doing it…weirdly!”
Kris feigned offense. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Sh-Shut up!” Noelle pouted. “A-A-Anyway. Do you guys want to…do anything? Maybe? Or something?”
Susie brightened, and she knocked Kris lightly in the shoulder, the tension between them already forgotten. “Yeah, yeah! You wanna hang in Castle Town?”
“Can’t.” Kris frowned. “I’m heading over to my dad’s for dinner this evening. Gotta wait for my mom to get out of class so she can drive me home.”
“Damn,” Susie grumbled.
“Um…I’ll go with you, Susie!” Noelle suggested. Her nose had calmed down, back to its usual dark brown. “I’ve been wanting to visit again, but I haven’t found the time.”
“Sweet!” Susie grinned, but it faltered when her eyes flicked back to Kris. “Sucks you can’t come with, though…”
Kris waved her off. “It’s fine. I might be free later tonight if you wanna hang then, but you two have fun. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye, Kris!” Noelle called as she started towards the closet.
Susie turned to follow her. “Later, nerd.”
Kris flashed a peace sign and walked off.
Susie had to hurry to catch up with Noelle, who was practically skipping down the hall. “Jeez, what’s got you so excited?”
“Oh, come on.” Noelle laughed. “There’s a whole world of magic hidden in the school supply closet, and you’re wondering why I’m excited?”
Susie chuckled. “You know…fair point.”
Noelle felt the tingle of magic flow through her body as she fell through the dark, her school clothes billowing out into snow-white robes. The air rushed past her as she fell, and she quickly realized that she was in no way accustomed to the sensation—she could see the buildings of Castle Town growing bigger and bigger, hear the wind howling in her ears, and found her eyes fixing on the cold stone of the landing area rushing up to meet her. She couldn’t help herself; she screamed.
And then, suddenly, she fwumped down into a pair of strong arms. She opened her eyes and looked up at Susie, who’d caught her. “Oh…thanks, Susie.”
“What can I say? I can’t get enough of coming to your rescue.” She smirked down at Noelle. “You know the fall doesn’t hurt you, right? It’s magic.”
“I-I know! It’s just…scary, you know?”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me you’re scared of heights.”
“Right, during, uh…” Noelle blushed. “During the ferris wheel ride.”
“Uh, yeah.” Susie glanced away, and it hit Noelle that the two of them had never actually talked about that ferris wheel ride since Noelle had learned the Dark World was real. “Anyway, I, uh, I should probably put you down, so—”
“Y-You don’t have to!” Noelle blurted out before she could stop herself. Then she internally cringed. Angel, she sounded pathetic sometimes.
Susie stared at her for a second. She looked a little red under her scales, but then she shrugged. “Well, okay. If you want me to bridal carry you into town in front of everyone, that’s your choice, I guess.”
Noelle gulped. “Um—no, it’s okay, Susie, forget I said anything. Susie, wait!”
“Too late, Candy Cane.” Susie started walking. “You asked me to carry you, so I’m carrying you. It’s like…chivalry, or whatever. I’m knocking this girlfriend thing out of the park.”
“Yes, Susie, you’re being a great girlfriend, but you can put me down now!” Noelle protested, twisting around in Susie’s grip.
“Hey, stop wriggling!” Susie tightened her arms around Noelle as she passed through the gates and into the town square. “You’re gonna make me drop you and you’ll break all your weak deer bones.”
Noelle laughed, despite herself. “Hey! My bones are not weak!”
“Yes they are.”
“They’re stronger than—than Berdly’s,” Noelle argued, though her voice lost some of its steam as she saw some of the Darkners staring at them. “Also, um, can you please put me down now?”
“Fine, fine.” Susie carefully set Noelle back on her hooves. “But I think Berdly’s got you beat on skull thickness alone. That thing is dense enough to block a bullet.”
“ERROR: Factually Incorrect. Common Susie L.”
“God fucking dammit,” Susie growled.
Noelle turned, and her expression immediately soured as she saw who was strutting towards them. “Oh. Hi, Queen…”
“Hello Noelle Darling,” Queen said, swirling around her glass of battery acid. “Why The Long Face. Oh Here Let Me Cheer You Up With My Fun And Interesting Internet Facts. Did You Know That Burghley Does In Fact Have Weaker Bones Than You Because Birds Have Hollow Bones. There You Go. Does The Wonder Of Instant Access Knowledge Make You Feel Better.”
Noelle wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but she was saved by Susie, who snickered. “You’re telling me Berdly’s skull isn’t thick, it’s hollow? Okay, you got me, that’s pretty good. Definitely using that one on him later.”
“See. I Spread Joy Everywhere I Go. It’s My New Thing Now That I’m Not Allowed To Take Over The World.” She flashed several smiley and heart emojis across her visor. “Speaking Of Which I Have A Wonderful Surprise Planned For You Three.”
“ ‘Us three’? I thought computers were supposed to be good at counting,” Susie snarked.
“Yes You Three.” Queen’s smile didn’t falter, but her visor switched to a buffering symbol for a couple seconds. “Wait. Where Is Kris Our Dear Friend Kris Where Are They.”
“Kris couldn’t make it today,” Noelle said. “And, um—about this…surprise. I get to keep my regular face, right? It isn’t a robot face surprise?”
“One Second I Have To Make Some Changes To The Surprise Based On Kris’s Absence And Noelle’s Face Preferences.” Queen stood still for a second. “Okay Done. I Have Determined We Require A Replacement Kris. Where Is My Butler.”
Almost instantly, Swatch stepped out from the Cafe, crossing his wings behind his back. “Here, my queen.”
Queen frowned. “No Not You Swatch You’re The Head Butler. I Need The Cute Butler. You Know The Short Fluffy One Without The Feathers.”
“My queen,” Swatch said. “Is it possible you are referring to Prince Ralsei?”
“That Depends. Is Prince Ralsei The Name Of The Cute Butler.”
Swatch sighed. “I’ll go fetch him.”
“Thank You Swatch Mwah Kisses,” Queen said as he flew off towards the castle, before turning back to Noelle and Susie. “Okay Good That Is Sorted. Soon The Surprise Will Be Upon You.”
“Could you just tell us what the hell this surprise is?” Susie snarled.
“Susie Do You Understand What A Surprise Means. Because It Does Not Sound Like You Do.” Queen paused for a second, then added, “Common Susie L.”
Susie bared her teeth. “Shuddup! Do you want us to kick your ass again?!”
“No, no, um—” Noelle held an arm out in front of Susie and shot Queen a nervous smile. “Could you just tell us? Please?”
Queen pouted. “But Noelle Honey Sweetie Gravy That Would Ruin The Surprise.”
Noelle didn’t back down. “Queen, please.”
“Sigh,” Queen said aloud, instead of sighing. “Well Fine. You See I Was Poking About Yesterday Evening And I Must Say Noelle You Made Some Very Interesting Searches.”
Noelle froze, flashing back to her time in the bathroom during the dinner at Kris’s house. “Oh. You…you saw those searches?”
Queen smiled. “Yes.”
“What searches?” Susie asked.
“Normal ones!” Noelle exclaimed frantically. “Normal searches!”
“Ha Ha Lol,” Queen said. “Anyway Yes Based On Your Searches I Have Planned A Hashtag Epic Hashtag Goals Date That Is Sure To Finally Get You Three Together.”
Noelle stared at her, and then stared behind her, where Ralsei was jogging towards them. “Except…Kris isn’t here, so it’ll be with…Ralsei? Instead?”
Queen’s visor changed to display three question marks. “Who Is Ralsei.”
“Hi! Hi, I’m here,” Ralsei said, waving as he ran up to them. “Hi Susie, hi Noelle. Swatch said you needed me?”
“Ah Yes Here We Go The Cute Butler Is Here,” Queen said. “We May Now Commence: The Date.”
Ralsei frowned. “Wait, what?”
“Dammit Queen,” Susie growled. “We already sorting stuff out and started dating, and Kris isn’t even here! There’s no point to this!”
“Oh, you did?” Ralsei beamed. “Congratulations!”
Noelle returned the smile. “Thanks, Ralsei.”
Queen frowned. “What. You’re Already Together. Well Come On You Should Have Said That Before I Commenced: The Date. I Do Not Have An Uncommencement Subroutine Available So I Cannot Interrupt The Operation. Anyway Have Fun On The Date I Designed It Just For You Toodles.”
Queen sprang up into the air, and her rocket throne shot in from behind them, whisking her away.
“Okay, she’s gone. Thank the Angel.” Noelle let out a breath.
“I’m so sorry about her,” Ralsei said. “She’s, uh…she’s Queen.”
Susie crossed her arms. “Do you think we can just leave? And not have to deal with whatever dumb bullshit she has planned for us?”
As if in answer, there was a loud whip crack, and the three of them turned to see Tasque Manager walking towards them from the Puzzle Dojo. She had a gaggle of Tasques padding along behind her, and wore a mean smile on her face.
“Oh gosh,” Ralsei said.
“Hello, children,” Tasque Manager said, stretching her whip between her floating hands. “My Mistress the Queen has instructed me to fight you.”
“How is this romantic?” Noelle took a step backwards. “I thought this was supposed to be a date!”
“I think this is Susie’s part of the date,” Ralsei reasoned.
Susie drew her axe. “I mean, you gotta admit, fighting alongside someone can totally be romantic.”
“Um…okay, well, whether or not that’s true…” Noelle turned to Tasque Manager. “Is there any way we could convince you to not fight us?”
Tasque Manager grinned and sent a crackle of electricity jolting down her whip. “No.”
Tasque Manager, thankfully, wasn’t fighting at full force. As the battle progressed, she seemed much more interested in forcing them to play some twisted, electrified version of hopscotch than actually attacking them. Even still, though, it was rather harrowing to dance around all that voltage, and Noelle was relieved when, after a particularly nasty set of commands, Susie fought off the last of the Tasques, and Tasque Manager took a step back.
“Congratulations, children. You pass,” Tasque Manager said, smiling thinly. “This concludes your training for today. Please enjoy your evening.”
Noelle smiled shakily. “Um…thank you?”
Tasque Manager took a professional bow before returning to the dojo.
“That was…intense.” Noelle let out a breath.
“She always is, yes,” Ralsei said.
To her credit, though, Susie certainly seemed fired up. “That was fun!” She let her axe disappear in a burst of purple flame, then slammed her fists together. “Alright, what’s next? Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.”
“Yes I Knew You Would Like It My Calculations Are Never Wrong.”
Noelle held back a groan as Queen flew back into view; Susie didn’t bother suppressing hers.
“Moving Right Along Though It Is Time For Kris’s Portion Of The Date,” Queen said, her throne bobbing up and down in front of them. “I Have Analyzed Their Search History And Narrowed Their Interests Down To One Singular Passion That You Will All Share Together In A Moment Of Close Emotional Bonding.”
“But Kris isn’t here,” Susie said.
Noelle put a hand out in front of Susie. “No no no. Kris’s search history? A true passion of theirs? I have to see where this goes.”
Susie narrowed her eyes and grinned. “Yeah…yeah, you’re right. See, this is why you’re the smart one, Jingles.”
“Um…wouldn’t this be a breach of Kris’s privacy?” Ralsei asked.
Susie stuck out her tongue. “Don’t be a narc, Ralsei.”
“It’s fine, Ralsei. They deserve it,” Noelle assured him. “Okay, Queen. Hit us.”
“You Got It Bestie. Entering Projection Mode.”
Queen’s visor lit up, and a large rectangle of light appeared in the air. It looked like a video of…cats? Drawings of cats, animated to music.
“Wait. Oh my Angel.” Noelle giggled. “Nooo! Oh, this is good.”
Susie tilted her head to the side as she peered up at the screen. “I don’t understand. What the hell is this?”
“It’s a pretty animation,” Ralsei observed, watching intently.
“It’s—it’s—they’re—ha!” Noelle cackled into her hand. “Th-These are Monster Warrior Cats AMVs.”
Susie’s jaw dropped. “No way. Kris is into Monster Warrior Cats?”
“Yes Of Course Didn’t You Know.” Queen took a sip of her battery acid as the video continued to play. “It’s Like All They Search For All The Time They Are Obsessed. I Assumed Everyone Who Knew Them Would Necessarily Be Aware.”
Susie broke down laughing, and Noelle leaned over and grabbed her arm, giggling uncontrollably along with her.
“That’s so good!” Susie cackled. “Fucking nerd!”
“I don’t understand,” Ralsei said. “What’s Monster Warrior Cats?”
Instead of responding, Queen projected a Wikipedia page above the video screen, and Ralsei let out an understanding hum.
“Okay, okay, okay.” Noelle reined in her giggles, standing back up. “This is great. I can’t believe they never told me! I was so into those books back in middle school. They’ve been holding out on me.”
“That’s probably why they fell for you,” Susie joked, hitting her lightly on the shoulder. “They saw a pretty girl who was into warrior cats and it was over for them.”
“Ha! Maybe.” Noelle watched as two of the cats on the screen began brutally fighting each other.
“Hey, uh, Queen.” Susie scratched a claw against her opposite elbow. “Do we have to sit through this whole thing, or…?”
“Oh No This Is A Playlist Of Every Monster Warrior Cats Animatic On YouTube I Could Find In Ten Seconds (Which Is A Lot).” Queen gestured to the side. “Please Proceed To Swatch’s Cafe At Your Leisure To Begin The Final Part Of Your Date.”
Ralsie shot the two of them a smile. “Why don’t you two go? I’ll stay here.”
“You sure?” Susie asked.
“Yep!” Ralsei leaned in and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’ll distract Queen for you.”
“What Did You Say Replacement Kris. I Need You To Speak Up.”
“Oh, I was just saying I wish I had a perfectly alphabetized and zero-indexed list of every cat in these videos.”
“Oh Well Why Didn’t You Just Ask. Zero: Aardvarkpaw. One: Acornfur. Two…”
“Thanks, Ralsei,” Noelle whispered as Queen kept on. He winked in return, and the two of them snuck off towards the cafe.
Swatch greeted them instantly at the door, flanked by a team of color-coordinated swatchlings. “Ah, hello, madams. I have been tasked with the third part of your date. Right this way.”
“This is, uh, my part of the date, right?” Noelle asked as she followed him into a private back room.
“Indeed. A romantic dinner.” Swatch gestured grandly to a nice, candle-lit table for three. Noelle and Susie sat down, and a pair of swatchlings swooped in to remove the extra chair and menu swiftly and quietly.
“Please,” Swatch continued. “Peruse our menu, and order anything you wish. It’s on the house.”
“Thank you, Swatch,” Noelle said.
He bowed slightly, then disappeared, his employees following at his tail feathers.
Noelle opened her menu. “This is actually kind of nice.”
“Uh, yeah. Nice.”
Noelle flipped through the pages of the menu. The dishes were unconventional, to say the least, but she’d never been averse to trying new things. “Wow, they’ve got all sorts of stuff. What are you thinking, Susie?”
No response.
Noelle looked up. Susie had an uneasy expression on her face, staring at the menu. “Susie? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled.
“Are you sure?” Noelle ran her thumb nervously along the edge of the menu. “Um…we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can leave.”
“No! It’s not—ugh.” Susie scowled, slouching. “Sorry. Don’t worry about it. I’m just being stupid.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? You remember tutoring me. You know I’m not exactly the smartest kid in class.”
Noelle frowned. “That’s not true.”
“Noelle, you don’t have to—”
Noelle slammed her menu onto the table, her palm smacking down with a loud thwack. “You’re not stupid!” she insisted.
Susie jerked backwards in surprise, eyes wide. “Uh—um. Sorry?”
Noelle leaned back in her chair again. “Apology accepted. Now what’s wrong?”
Susie was quiet for a moment. “I’m just…I’m no good at fancy stuff like this,” she said eventually, gesturing vaguely at the table.
Noelle hummed. “I mean, if you don’t like fancy, we don’t have to do fancy.”
“That’s not it. It’s not that I don’t like it. I’m just…I’m worried I’ll screw it up.” Susie raised her head and met Noelle’s eyes. “I’m worried I’ll screw this whole thing up. You’re Noelle Holiday, and I’m just Susie. I’m out of my league here.”
“Susie…why do you think I like you?”
Susie blinked. “What?”
Noelle giggled, face red. “I mean…I’ve had a horribly embarrassing crush on you ever since you moved here. You know that, right?”
“Uhh, I guess Kris mentioned it, yeah?” Susie looked confused. “I don’t…”
“Do you really think I liked you because you were fancy?” Noelle shook her head. “Susie, I like you because you’re down to earth. I have more than enough fancy in my life. You’re worried about messing things up—but maybe I’m tired of things being so picture-perfect all the time.”
“I’m not really sure what you…” Susie narrowed her eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”
Noelle smirked a little as she dipped her fingertips into her complimentary water glass. “Messing things up.”
She reached her arm forward and flicked her fingers at Susie, spraying droplets of water into her face.
Susie spluttered, pulling back. “Gah! Why?”
“Come on, Susie. It’s just a little water.” Noelle flicked her fingers at Susie again. “Aren’t you supposed to be all big and tough?”
“Fuck!” Susie exclaimed, rubbing at her eyes. “Okay, you asked for it!”
Susie soaked her claws in her own glass of water and shook her whole hand in Noelle’s direction. Noelle shrieked and tried to duck out of the way, but it was useless against the shotgun blast of liquid. She retaliated with a couple more flicks of her own, but Susie’s larger fingers gave her the clear upper hand.
“Nooooo Susie!” Noelle cried, laughing and standing up from her chair. “Stop!”
“Oh, so you can dish it but you can’t take it, huh?” Susie stood too, water glass in hand, chasing Noelle around the small room. “Get back here!”
Susie went in for another flick and Noelle tried to dodge sideways. She ended up bumping into Susie instead, and before she knew it, Susie’s glass had tipped over. Noelle gasped as ice-cold water completely soaked the front of her robes, taking a shocked step back.
Susie’s eyes widened. “Shit! Shit, Noelle, I’m so sorry, I—I didn’t mean to—ow!”
Noelle had her arm raised, index and middle fingers pointed right at Susie’s face and her snow ring glowing faintly from the snowball she’d just summoned. Susie wiped the snow from her scales, growling, and Noelle couldn’t help but snicker.
“Oh, so that’s how we’re playing, huh?” Susie reached behind her and grabbed Noelle’s glass of water, which she’d left on the table.
“Uh oh,” Noelle said, backing up another step and shooting another snowball. Susie tanked it on her chest and began marching towards Noelle.
Noelle scurried backwards, but soon her back was flush against the wall of the small private room. She called upon her magic and shot another snowball in desperation, but Susie’s jaw snapped open, and she swallowed the snowball whole.
“Oh wow,” Noelle mumbled under her breath as she watched Susie’s razor fangs snap down on the projectile. And then she gasped again as Susie overturned the glass of water right on Noelle’s head.
“Gah—Susie!” Noelle raised her arms and fruitlessly tried to shake the water out.
“I win,” Susie said smugly.
“Yeah, yeah.” Noelle moved her sodden hair out of her eyes and grinned up at Susie. “But see? You don’t have to change yourself for me, Susie. I’m not super fancy either.”
Susie chuckled, leaning forward and planting one of her palms on the wall next to Noelle’s head. “Yeah, you’re kind of a dork, huh.”
“Just a bit,” Noelle said, before leaning in and kissing her.
If Noelle had to describe the kiss with one word, it would be wet, on account of her sopping fur and hair and the remnants of snow on Susie’s face and lips—combined, of course, with the normal territory that came from kissing. But still, this was Susie, and it would take a lot more than water-drenched robes to ruin things for Noelle.
After a couple seconds, Susie pulled away. “Thanks for helping me loosen up, Jingles. I was getting way too anxious about all of this.”
Noelle smiled. “You better thank me. You totally soaked me!”
“Heh, yeah. Sorry about that.”
The door opened, and Swatch appeared. “Hello, can I get you two anything to—oh my Queen. What have you done to the private dining area? Is that snow?”
“Shit! Quick, scatter!” Susie grabbed Noelle’s hand and pulled her along, barreling past Swatch.
“Sorry, Swatch!” Noelle called back as Susie dragged her towards the door. “Blame Queen!”
Swatch only sighed as they fled the restaurant.
Kris’s sneakers tip-tapped against the road as they walked back to their house from their dad’s shop. A bouquet of golden flowers crinkled in their fingers; Asgore had shoved them into Kris’s arms as they left, insisting they pass them off to Toriel. Kris idly wondered if they ought to save her some effort and throw the bouquet out themself.
Speaking of their mom, they should probably text her that they were on their way back. They shuffled the flowers into the crook of one arm and fished their phone out of their pocket. They were greeted by a text from Noelle that they had missed—she must’ve sent it while they and Asgore were having dinner.
Little Miss Gayass: Hi Kris!! Susie and I are hanging out at my place tonight if you’re still around! c:
Kris hummed and swiped over to their texts with their mother.
Kris: omw back from dads. Noelle invited me to hang at her place with her and Susie for a bit if that’s ok
Pie Dealer: I do not know, Kris. It is already past dinner and we have school again tomorrow.
Kris: I don’t think it’ll be long
Kris: Plus we sort of all started dating within the past 24 hours so I kind of want to swing by
Pie Dealer: Oh my! Congratulations, Kris! For a second there I was worried it would never happen…
Pie Dealer: Okay, you may stay out. Please be home by ten! Or you will worry your poor mother!
Pie Dealer: Sending you LOL (lots of love!) 🤗
Kris: Thanks mom
Kris stowed their phone back in their pocket and forewent the turn onto their driveway, continuing straight for the Holiday manor. They briefly considered scaling the gate, but ultimately decided against it, pressing the buzzer on the brick post.
“What,” came Carol Holiday’s terse voice through the speaker.
“It’s Kris. Noelle invited me over.”
“Why? So you two can…snog some more?”
Kris didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah. We’re gonna snog all over the place.”
Carol heaved a sigh, and drew it out far, far longer than was necessary. And then the gate swung open, and Kris started up the driveway without another word.
They knocked when they reached the front door, and received a bright “Coming!” in response. The door opened, and Noelle smiled down at them with a glint in her eye. “Ah, Krisstar. We’ve been expecting you.”
She stepped back, and Kris walked inside, even as they fixed her with an incredulous stare. “What the fuck did you just call me?”
Noelle giggled. “No time for questions, Krisstar. There is much work to be done if Homeclan is to survive the winter.”
“Why are you doing Monster Warrior Cats rp at me?” Kris turned towards Susie, who was sprawled out on the couch in the living room. “Why is she doing Monster Warrior Cats rp at me?”
Susie barked out a laugh and offered no answer.
“Aww, wait, you brought flowers?” Noelle closed the front door and danced up to Kris’s side, plucking the bouquet from their hands. “You’re too sweet!”
Kris took a second to process what she was talking about. “What? Oh, yeah, I did. Because I’m the best at dating.”
Noelle ignored them, walking over to Susie. “Look! Aren’t these nice?”
“I dunno.” Susie shrugged. “Are they nice?”
“Well, I think so,” Noelle said.
“But you haven’t even tried them.”
Noelle blinked. “Huh?”
Susie reached forward and unceremoniously grabbed a fistful of flowers, shoving them into her maw. She gnashed her teeth a few times, then gulped them down. “Hey, not bad. Thanks, Kris.”
Noelle’s gaze bounced between Susie and the mangled bouquet in what seemed to be a cross between horror and awe, but Kris only snickered. “Dunno what you expected, Noelle.”
“I just—um…” Noelle tilted the flowers towards Susie. “Do you…wanna finish them?”
“Hell yeah,” Susie said, snatching the plants away from her.
As Susie chomped away, Noelle stood up and clapped her hands together. “Okay! Anyway. I’m so glad you could come, Kris!”
“Yeah,” they said. And then, feeling like they should probably say more than that, elaborated, “Mom doesn’t want me staying too long, but I wanted to drop by. How was Castle Town?”
“Oh, it was great!” Noelle’s smile shook a little. “Well—mostly. But Susie can tell you all about that while I check on the cookies.”
Immediately, Kris’s eyes widened. “Cookies? You’re making cookies?”
“Yes, Kris.” Noelle stuck out her tongue. “Just promise you’ll wait for them to cool this time, okay? I don’t want you burning your mouth again.”
“I make no promises when it comes to your cookies.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just sit tight. And don’t be too loud—my mom’s working upstairs.”
Kris flashed a thumbs-up, and as Noelle left for the kitchen, they flopped onto the couch next to Susie.
“Damn,” Susie said through a mouthful of petals. “Those must be some cookies.”
“Full disclosure,” Kris began, “I would not hesitate to commit atrocities against you if it meant I could have more Noelle cookies.”
Susie side-eyed them. “Good to know.”
“But anyway.” Kris waved a hand. “How was your Dark World date?”
“Pff. You don’t even know. Queen literally decided to send us on this whole elaborate date because she’d looked at Noelle’s desperate search history.”
Kris laughed. “I mean, Noelle has been down pretty bad for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was including ‘hot purple lizard monsters’ in her search queries.”
“No, no, no. You don’t get it.” Susie crinkled up the plastic of the bouquet wrapping and shoved it in her pocket. “It was a date for all three of us. We each had, like, a custom section and shit.”
Kris frowned. “But I wasn’t even there.”
“That’s what we said! But Queen just replaced you with Ralsei and called it a day.”
“Oh, Angel.” Kris paled. “It’s been less than a day and the polycule is already expanding out of control.”
“Nah, nah, he was chill about it,” Susie said light-heartedly. “He left us for the last bit, and Noelle and I had a big talk and kissed and shit.”
“Aww. Good for you.” Kris leaned in towards Susie’s ear and lowered their voice. “I still did it first, though.”
“Hey, fuck you.” Susie huffed. “At least I don’t watch Monster Warrior Cats animatics all day like a cringeass loser.”
“Okay, what the hell is with you people and Warrior Cats today?” Kris questioned.
“Dude.” Susie grinned. “Queen made each of us a customized date segment based on our search histories. What do you think yours was?”
“No. No way,” Kris breathed out. “Queen really did me dirty like that?”
Susie jabbed a talon at them. “So you admit it!
“I haven’t admitted shit!” Kris countered.
“Yeah, well, she showed us the rp threads, too.”
“She what?!” Kris exclaimed, eyes wide. “Fuck. Fuck! Which ones? What did you see?”
Susie burst out laughing. “Ha, you idiot, I was joking! You really have rp threads?”
Kris blushed. “Sh-Shut up!”
“Well, hey.” Susie smacked them teasingly on the shoulder. “Noelle said she used to be into that shit too, so you guys can dork out about it together.”
Kris groaned. “I’m not even into it these days. It’s my dark gritty backstory.”
“That ain’t what Queen said.”
“Queen doesn’t know anything!” Kris snapped. “She just—”
Kris cut themself off as they heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs in the other room. Sure enough, Carol’s voice soon rang out. “Noelle?”
“In the kitchen, Mom!” Noelle called.
Kris waited until they were sure Carol wasn’t coming their way before continuing. “Look, you’re one to talk, Susie. I know you’ve got your own guilty pleasures.”
“Yeah, but you don’t know about ‘em,” Susie said cockily.
“Oh, Susie. I know more than you think. I was saving this for a rainy day, but you may have forced my hand.”
“Yeah, right. I know a bluff when I see one, Kris.”
Kris leaned in close, dropping their voice. “You have Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Adventures: Redemption: Mew Mew’s Cutie Matches: Turmoil in Sparkleland downloaded on your phone.”
Kris smiled in satisfaction as Susie’s cheeks began to burn. “How the hell do you know that?” she hissed. “You little twerp!”
“I have my ways.” Kris put their hand to their chin, dramatically scratching it. “Hmm…you know, I think Noelle is into Mew Mew Kissy Cutie too. Maybe I should tell her you’re a fan, so you can…what did you say? Dork out together?”
“Don’t you dare,” Susie growled. “I will lay you out, Dreemurr.”
Kris put a finger to their bottom lip. “Gosh, Susie, ask me to dinner first!”
“You little shit. I mean it! I’ll bite your fucking face off!”
“Oh my Angel, Susie!” Kris pressed the back of their hand to their forehead dramatically. “You want to eat my face? Of all the days to forget to bring a breath mint!”
Susie was full-on snarling at them now. “You know, Kris, if you keep making those jokes, I’m not responsible for what happens.”
“Honestly, I would’ve expected something to have happened already by now.” Kris scooted closer to Susie and leaned in, their voice a whisper. “But I guess you’re too much of a coward.”
“Alright, that’s it!” Susie said, and pounced.
Kris wasn’t prepared, and had no time to react as Susie’s strong claws closed around their shoulders and slammed them into the sofa cushions. Her maw hovered above their face, teeth clenched like a steel trap, her eyes laser-focused on Kris.
So Kris wrapped their hands around the back of her neck, pulled themself up, and kissed her.
Susie seemed a little surprised, and Kris took that opportunity to twist to the side. They both tumbled to the carpet.
“Why, you little…” Susie didn’t bother finishing her insult, slamming her lips back onto Kris’s as they tussled on the floor, a pile of tangled-up limbs.
“…just don’t know about this, dear,” came a voice from the foyer.
“Come on, Mom. Neither of them are as bad as you think. They’re actually really sweet once you get to…know…them…”
Kris, from their current position on the floor under Susie, craned their neck back to see the upside-down figures of Noelle and Carol standing in the doorway to the living room. Noelle seemed to be holding a plate of cookies in her hands, and Carol seemed to be holding an abundance of tension in her shoulders.
Carol spluttered for a few seconds. “What in Angel’s name…”
“Guys! I was gone for five minutes!” Noelle turned to her mother apologetically. “They’re not normally like this, I promise.”
Kris brought their elbow up and used it to crowbar Susie off their chest. They cleared their throat. “Hey, Mrs. Holiday. How’s tricks?”
“You…have a lovely home,” Susie added weakly.
Carol took a deep breath in, and released it as a low, dangerous growl. “You know what? I’m done. I don’t care anymore. You win. Okay?” She threw her hands in the air. “You win. I give up! Who cares, right? Who gives a damn! It’s fine! It’s fine. Everything’s fine!”
Noelle took a nervous step away from her mother. “Um…”
“Kids these days, right? Teenagers. Can’t help it. Right on the carpet. Angel’s tits.” Carol turned and walked back towards the kitchen, still rambling to herself. “You know what it is? It’s those damn phones. Back in my day…”
Kris watched her go as Susie slowly stood up. She offered Kris a hand, and they took it, rising to their feet.
Susie’s eyes trailed after Carol. “Is she…”
“Oh, she’s…she’s fine,” Noelle assured them. She paused for a second, looking over her shoulder, but then seemed to let it go. “Probably. Anyway, cookies are ready!”
Kris and Susie descended like a pack of wolves, but Noelle held the plate high above her head, frowning at them. “Nuh-uh-uh! We each take one cookie at a time, so everybody gets an even amount. Okay?”
“Fine,” Kris grumbled.
Noelle began distributing the cookies; she put her own in a little pile to one side of the plate, while Kris and Susie’s quickly disappeared as soon as they were allotted. Eventually, there was only one cookie left, sitting tantalizingly in the center of the platter.
“Oh, shoot, I miscounted. Someone gets an extra, I guess.”
“Me,” Kris and Susie said at the same time, before glaring at each other.
“I guess it’s up to Noelle,” Kris reasoned, eyeing Susie suspiciously.
“Yeah.” Susie turned to the cookie. “Well? Who are you gonna choose, Noelle?”
Noelle smiled and rolled her eyes. “You two never learn.”
Then she set down the plate, grabbed the spare cookie, and split it in half.
Notes:
Aaaaaand scene. Thank you all for reading, and thanks for your support in the kudos and comments! Means a lot :]
Hey! Most of you probably know this already, but this is far from my only foray into the realm of deltarune fanfiction. So if you liked this, you might like some of my other stuff! In particular, if you liked the Suselle in this fic, you might enjoy Dare to Dream, my Suselle romcom (which turns into a whole thing but shhhh don't have to worry about that), and if you liked the Kriselle, you might enjoy Lifelong Constants, my Kriselle romcom! I also have some smaller works, including a follow-up to kris-dreemurr-kris from the Spammy Sweepstakes, an experimental Disco Elysium crossover, and a drabble collection that will probably gain some new entries over the next few months.
I'm throwing all this self promo in because I'm probably going to be relatively quiet for a stretch following the completion of this fic! I've got an epilogue I'm long overdue to finish for my big adventure series Dream Come True, which is my top priority, and I'm also developing my next multichapter fic, Cold Case, which is going to be my take on a Snowgrave continuation. It's gonna be a sort of detective-thriller dealio, and I'm super excited for it. But it'll probably be a good while before I'm in a place to start posting that.
In the meantime, I might be taking some drabble prompts on my tumblr to tide things over, and I'm always chilling in my discord server, too, if you want to come chat. Both of those are linked in the work end notes. Other than all that, though, I'll see you lovely folks around! Have a good one.
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