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During her brief time as a Forger, Yor found several aspects of her new life to be rather lovely. Nothing big, just little details that she felt changed things for the better.
She loved Bond greeting her when she came home now, finding the scents of the day on her to be enthralling even though they were likely always the same ones. She loved making another stop on the way to bed, getting to lean into Anya’s room to make sure the girl was sleeping soundly. She loved taking a little extra time to focus on each dish she washed, knowing that it was the aftermath of a good meal shared even though it meant there was more to clean up (the way Loid and Anya left matching coffee and cocoa stains on the rims of their mugs was her favorite detail). She loved straightening up toys left in the living room, and remembering what game or activity they were used in.
Most of all, she loved days like this. Quiet ones in which she and Loid both had the morning or afternoon off. Their breaks synchronizing were rare, but allowed them to enjoy each other’s company when it did happen. A variety of different things occurred when they were left alone in the apartment, usually some form of cleaning or reviewing materials for their respective jobs. She perused the books collected on the shelf sometimes, or they might have a brief yet pleasant conversation if a relevant topic came up.
Today’s activity was a mutually enjoyed talk show. Loid had walked up to the television and turned the dial before sitting down mechanically on the sofa. She found it a little odd for him to be turning it on as she was usually the one to find the program, but hadn’t really given it a second thought. It was something they could both be entertained by, and sitting together quietly was just as good as a mobile activity. To her, it was more about enjoying the company instead of the thing they did. Having Anya with them would have also been nice, but skipping on school was frowned upon for obvious reasons.
Movement in the corner of Yor’s eye pulled her attention away from the idle television chatter. At the other end of the sofa, Loid was nodding his head gradually downwards, for the fourth time now. Each time, his neck muscles seized up before his chin could make contact with his chest, jerking his attention back up to the television. His eyelids also drooped each time in unison with his head. The scene was… rather childlike, and might have even been viewed as cute if it weren’t so opposed to how professional and straightlaced he typically acted.
When his head fell for the fifth time, she voiced her concern. “Didn’t sleep well?”
He turned very abruptly at the sound of her voice, as if he hadn’t realized she was there despite their sitting down together an hour ago. “Hmm?” he asked a little too suddenly. That was concerning; Loid was usually quite aware of his surroundings. Now that he faced her more directly, Yor found prominent dark spots marking the area under his eyes.
“You’ve nodded off several times now, Loid,” she explained, not bothering to filter out the worry from her tone. She could admit the past couple of months together had allowed some personal affection to slip into the cracks in the professional arrangement they had established. Surely she wasn’t in the wrong to show some concern for her overtired husband.
He brought his hands up to cover his face wearily, trying to wipe away the bleary feeling from his eyes as he rearranged himself on the sofa. “Sorry,” his words came out muffled through his fingers. “The hospital has us sorting through a lot of data papers right now. It’s resulted in some late nights.”
As rewarding as she was sure medical work must be, Yor couldn’t be envious of the absurd hours Loid had to put up with. She found herself silently grateful that at least one of her jobs always ended at five o’clock. And the other was on-call no more than once or twice a week, so she was really quite fortunate with her hours.
“Maybe you ought to take a nap before dinner,” she suggested. A smile hovered around her lips. “Unless you would rather have me cook if you’re too exhausted to hold a knife.”
Loid smiled weakly in return, bringing his chin to lean in his hand as he sank back into the cushions. “Respectfully, Yor, I’m a little worried about you trying to sauté again after the last attempt came very close to an emergency room visit for burns. My sheets are still in the laundry, though. Besides that, sleeping now would throw my schedule off even more than it already is.”
“Oh.”
There was silence for a while after that as she had run out of ideas beyond telling him to have a nap, only the noise from the television there to fill the empty space. Well, not entirely out of ideas, but the next ones she had crossed the line of propriety.
She was going to first suggest he use her room to sleep in, before deciding that was taking it a little too far, no matter how close she felt they had become. Even if she wasn't in it, somehow offering to let Loid into her bed just seemed to be breaking too big a hole in the respectful distance bubbles they each had built around themselves. Tools for her less savory job were kept in there, first of all. Hidden, of course, and while she did trust Loid entirely to not be the intrusive kind, that kind of proximity between him and her weapons set her on edge. Secondly, he would be in her bed. That wouldn’t end after he got up, either.
There would be traces of him left that her honed senses would pick up without even trying. A stray blonde hair or two laying on the pillow, possibly an eyelash as he rubbed sleep away when he woke up. The form of his body imprinted into the mattress, larger than her and creating a little cavity for her to fall into when she went to bed that night, reminding her of his size in comparison to her and how easy it would be for him to shelter her were they to sleep next to each other. More noticeably, that woodsy-smelling cologne that lingered around his neck and arms in little tendrils. She knew he had to be buying a quality brand, because she felt as if each time he walked past her in the morning, the smell would stick with her all through the work day. A pleasant reminder of nature and earthy things and the freedom of being outside when desk work became too suffocating. And then, as the scent was just beginning to fade after hours of hovering around her, she’d come home where Loid welcomed her back, and she would be refreshed by it all over again. Were that smell to stick to her pillow…
She forced an exhale to dispel the mini fantasy she had built up. Yes, Loid borrowing her room for a nap created too many… future problems. She also briefly considered recommending Anya’s room, before almost laughing at the mental image that created. Anya slept quite comfortably in her bed, but Loid trying to use it would almost certainly have his legs hanging off the edge if he wasn't scrunched up to fit all of his large body onto the mattress. Not to mention the bed itself would be uncomfortably low to the ground for a grown man.
The final option she had thought of was still dancing around in her head, but may present the same issues as Loid sleeping in her room. Perhaps even worse issues since it involved decreasing the amount of space between them, and physical distance was usually her only defense for keeping her, um, sudden violent outbursts in check.
But, since she would be the one to initiate this, she hoped that that might prevent her from causing any type of injury. Besides, was she not trying to become more comfortable in a wifely role for their family image? This could be an opportunity to practice how she acted around Loid, an opportunity to get used to being within a few feet of him without her muscles all seizing up.
An opportunity to not kick him in the face!
It was a win for everyone, really.
“Then, would you rather…” He looked over to her again when she spoke, eyebrows lifting just a bit. She was painfully aware of the concentrated effort it took to keep her breathing steady, and cursed herself for not at least trying to go on a few dates in her younger years. Even a little cuddling or hand-holding or even walking with a boy would have given her some tangible experience to calm the nerves that were wrapped around what should be such a simple thing for a husband and wife to do. She pushed out another exhale, uncrossing her legs and setting her feet flat next to one another on the floor. Her eye line stayed strictly focused on the television screen; looking at him to ask this would send her over the edge.
“Would you rather sleep here instead, since your sheets are washing?”
Inhale. The question rang in her ears over and over and over again. Throwing herself through the French doors and onto the street after the words left her mouth seemed rather appealing, in all honesty. Why had the question come out sounding so… awkward? It felt alright to ask in her mind, but something changed once it had been verbalized.
She shot her eyes quickly to her left, hoping to analyze his reaction without having to look straight at him. Loid was sitting up much more now, eyebrows having traveled much further up on his face. What’s worse, he was terribly silent, mouth hanging slightly open without a reply to fill it. She curled her own lips over her teeth, pulling them into a tense line waiting for a response that felt like it was never going to come.
Finally, he made a sound. “Are you alright with that?” was all he asked, quieter. Deeper.
Yor smoothed the stitches of her sweater out around her legs, palms rubbing anxious rows into the fabric. “We’re married; it’s something I should be comfortable with, right? Besides,” she laughed a little, trying to fight the nervousness. “You’ve already laid on my lap, so we know I’m able to handle it. Even if I can’t really remember that it happened.”
Loid shook his head. “I understand you can,” he said, “but do you want to do it? It’s not about being able to, it’s about if you’re okay with it. When you will be able to remember it. You don’t have to do it just for my sake.”
She savored his words for a second before nodding in affirmation. “It’s fine, Loid. I’m not doing it out of obligation. I just…”
She shifted around a bit on the cushions. Her face was already too warm; admitting her inexperience with physical intimacy wasn’t helping matters, but she still felt the urge to tell him of the fact. Like she could trust him with that knowledge.
“I’ve never really done this type of thing with anyone, so going into new territory is a little nerve-wracking.” He stayed quiet but kept his eyes on her, hesitancy still pulling at his features. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to start, though! You’re here, and we have a fiiting situation. So maybe this is a good place to begin. And… I think that of anyone I can come up with, you’re- you’re probably the person I would most trust to start with. So, I wouldn’t mind if you laid down… if it’s also alright with you, that is?”
He didn’t move immediately, still trying to find something in her face. When he couldn’t seem to locate it, he slowly moved over, closer, turning his back to her so he could lower his head to the cushions. While his shoulders still hovered a little above her legs, he looked at her again. “Just tell me if you need me to move or you want to get up, okay?”
She nodded again, moving her hands off of her lap to let his head fall the rest of the way down. She didn’t appreciate her unintended flinch at the first bit of contact, but found it was a quite peaceful situation to be in after that initial move. The spot where his neck touched her leg through the sheer material of her tights was comfortably warm, if not an unfamiliar sensation. Loid adjusted himself slightly to slot her left thigh between the base of his skull and top of his shoulder blades, letting it fall into the gap under his neck. He glanced up to her; it was a little strange having to look straight down to talk to him now. “Are you alright?”
She smiled, still feeling a little tension but also a little silly for having fussed so much over such a simple thing. “I’m good. Just, um, relax. I guess.”
He closed his eyes and took a stab at a humorous route instead, which she could at least appreciate the effort of. “You’re not going to kick me again, are you?”
“Loid!” Yor hit him lightly on the chest but let the hand rest in place afterwards, finding it settled nicely over the rhythm of a steady, if not slightly fast-beating, heart. He folded his own hands on top of his stomach, crossing his legs at the ankles at the other end of the couch.
They sat quietly for a few moments, Yor contentedly shifting her focus between the program and down to her husband's peaceful form to ensure he wasn't disturbed. With his words still floating around the corners of her mind, she trailed her hand up to where his chin tucked against his chest. Her thumb brushed the sharp point, and she could feel a roughness to the skin that didn’t seem like stubble alone. “Is this still swollen?”
“Mm-hmm,” he mumbled, having grown quieter now that they settled down.
She traced the curves, being careful not to put too much pressure on the tender area. “Sorry, again,” she said softly. “I still can’t believe what came over me that night.”
“Don’t be. You should be proud to have a kick like that under the influence.” His mouth played at a smile, and he opened one eye lazily. “I think you even got some scar tissue forming–”
“Shhh.” She nudged his eyes closed again with her free hand and pressed her left finger to his lips to silence him, before letting it fall back down to his chest. Her right hand slowly moved back from his eyes to rest at the forehead, fingers strumming subconsciously through his loose bangs. She found his hair had that same fluffy texture as Anya’s, not terribly long or thick but supplemented by good volume.
He spoke again when the room fell silent. Drowsiness slurred his words under the slow motions of her hand. “Did you put that new lotion on?”
His question made Yor realize she had been touching him all over his face for the past five minutes, without asking. Unwanted touch, most likely. Embarrassed, she halted the patterns she was drawing in his hair. “The orange-scented one? Yes, I wanted to try it out.”
“Smells good,” he replied sleepily. She felt her face going red again at the unexpected compliment, and had to look down at him to register his next question, even quieter than the last. Loid’s hand had reached up to lightly poke at the one still resting on his head.
“Why did you stop?”
——❀——
Loid awoke with a start to the sound of the front door slamming open. He turned his head slightly to see Anya running into the living room with Bond trotting up happily next to her. She looked between his face and up above him quizzically. Confused, he followed her line of sight to get an upwards angle of Yor’s face peacefully smiling at her in a silent welcome. Why was she... oh. After a bleary second of disjointed memories, he sat up quickly, holding his head in one hand. He hadn't slept that deeply in years.
“Mama and Papa were sleeping together?” Anya asked.
“NO,” they said in unison. Sharing a glance with his wife, he stood up to stretch his arms behind his back.
“Your mother wasn’t sleeping,” Loid said, trying to fall back into his usual demeanor. He cleared his throat. “I was just feeling tired and she was… being kind.”
The little girl peered at him suspiciously, eventually turning around to dump her school things in her room and change for the evening. Before the door could shut, she leaned out from the threshold one last time, shooting several looks between her parents and slowly pulling her head back in.
He sighed as the lock clicked. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep.” The late afternoon light filtering through the curtains was starting to take on the orange hues of evening. “It certainly got later than I expected.”
Yor stood up next to him, smoothing her sweater down on her knees. “It’s alright, I probably should have woken you before she could get home.”
They stood with an awkwardness hovering between them, each carefully avoiding eye contact with the other. Eventually, he jolted into action. “I guess I should start dinner. Oh, the laundry–”
“I already did it,” Yor interrupted. He looked at her in surprise as she pulled her hands behind her back. “The clothes are folded in everyone’s rooms. Well, I put my own away but I didn’t want to snoop, so I put yours and Anya’s on your wardrobes. And I put your sheets in the dryer and then made your bed." After a pause, she held her hands out and looked back at him. “That’s all I did, though! Just the bed and set the clothes down; I didn’t mess with anything else. Sorry, I know you don’t like others in your space but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you…”
He had to smile at her earnesty. Yor couldn’t find it in herself to intrude in his life even if she wanted to. “It’s alright, I don’t mind. I’m just surprised I was able to sleep through you getting up from the sofa.”
She giggled. “You were breathing pretty deeply. Did you know you snore a little laying on your back?”
He flushed slightly. “Ah, no, I didn’t. I think I’m usually on my side. Sorry about the noise.”
Yor shrugged it off. “I didn’t mind,” she said, mirroring his blush. “They were cute little snores, not disruptive.” The shade of red grew a little more intense. On the one hand, spies shouldn’t snore; it gave away their positions to the wrong people. On the other hand, if he did snore, he wanted strong, large, adult man snores. Not cute little snores.
On a third hand, Yor had found something he did to be cute, which was fighting the other two hands.
They were silent for a few more seconds before he had to ask the question buzzing around his mind. “And… you came back to the couch after you did the laundry?”
She nodded. And had gotten back under his head without him noticing, which ought to have been worrisome but wasn’t his main concern.
“Why?”
She looked down to her side, double-checking that Anya still had her door closed, before taking a step closer to him. He closed his eyes on instinct as her palm was raised in front of his face, lithe fingers straightening out some of the locks on his forehead. The flat of her hand brushed softly over the edge of his nose and lips as she made her adjustments.
“Maybe I was comfortable there,” was all she said in a small tone. He opened his eyes again to find her still standing up next to him, timid, an unreadable look dancing in her eyes.
“So… dinner?” she urged after a moment.
“Right!” He walked around the coffee table to start getting everything out for the evening. She followed him into the kitchen, moving to get some pans from the cabinet. He held a hand out to stop her. “You already did the laundry, Yor. You don’t need to worry about the meal, as well.”
She paused but didn’t take her hand off the cabinet door, smiling up to him. “I can at least help with prep work. Can’t burn yourself cutting up vegetables, right?”
Eventually, he gave in, taking their ingredients from the refrigerator with a returned smile. “Knock yourself out, then.” As the stovetop flared to life, he turned back to her. “That was figurative, by the way.”
“Not in my case,” she said, amused at his addition.
The rest of the night continued as it usually would, Loid feeling a little more refreshed as he cooked. Anya came out of her room to complete her homework at the coffee table, enjoying some cartoons with Bond until the meal was ready. They then cleaned up the aftermath, Yor gently prying her daughter away from the television and sending her off to sleep with a short story before retiring to her own room.
Loid turned off the last of the lights and hung the dish towels out to dry. As he entered the bathroom, he stared at the waiting bathtub for a long moment, before deciding he hadn’t exerted himself enough today to warrant a shower. The faucets were left untouched. He ended the night brushing his teeth and then shut his door to change. Fresh sheets welcomed him into bed, and it didn’t take long for his breathing to slow down to long, deep breaths.
Enjoying the lingering smell of orange and citrus on his face as he fell into a restful sleep.