Work Text:
Jake likes his office. Really, he does. There isn’t anything to dislike about it, if he’s being honest. Although his office is shared, it’s not the end of the world. It’s shared with his roommate, anyways — who also just so happens to be the vice president of the student council. Ironic, isn’t it?
Well, maybe it’s the other way around: the only reason Jay is his roommate is because he’s the vice president of the student council.
Their office, he supposes, is located in the same wing of the building that the Dean’s office is in. The three of them, plus the Dean’s waiting staff and secretaries and the rest of the student councils’ offices, are the only occupants of this part of the building. It’s easier to get work done like this, since the usual bustling noise of students running around and generally just existing isn’t heard from here.
And Jake likes it like that. He appreciates the environment and doesn’t take it for granted, especially when he has work to get done. Like today: there’s a stack of papers on his desk which need to be read through. They’re all proposals from different university clubs, giving their own reasons as to why they’d benefit from receiving a large portion of this school year’s recreational budget as funding.
All very exciting things, Jake knows. He’d be delighted to actually get to work on making a dent through all those proposals, if it weren’t for just one little thing.
The office door swings open, and Jake feels a headache coming on before he even looks up to see who it is. Not that it could be anyone other than Jay, really. Or the Dean, but the Dean doesn’t come down to their office — the Dean requests for them to go to their office.
Jake slides his glasses back up from where they’d been sliding down the bridge of his nose, resultant from looking down for so long. He looks up while releasing a sigh, fully expecting to be faced with Jay, who more likely than not had come in here with something to complain about. Sometimes, Jay makes Jake wonder why he even ran a campaign during the electoral period, and like, did a good job at it too, if he only had a bitter attitude towards what the role required him to do, now that he’s actually vice president.
Whatever — at the end of the day, it’s not the biggest deal to Jake. Jay gets his work done, and he’s helpful and unsurprisingly good at this whole vice president thing. He’s also not a bad roommate, so that’s obviously also a bonus. Jake reminds himself, almost everyday, that things could’ve ended up being infinitely worse for him.
Anyways, back to the point of the matter: Jaks looks up, fully expecting Jay, and is greeted instead by Heeseung.
Which is not only an irregular occurrence, but it’s also one which is risky at best, and compromising at worst. Jake immediately casts a glance towards the door which Heeseung had come through, breathing out a sigh of relief when he sees that the door is closed behind him. Again, at worst, Heeseung’s presence here, alone, with Jake is compromising.
The student body isn’t really supposed to be in here, after all.
“I don’t have time for you right now,” Jake tells Heeseung resolutely, looking back down at his papers before he can see what reaction the older has to his words. “You don’t even have class today.”
Jake hears humming coming from the direction Heeseung is idly standing. He then hears light footsteps walking around the room. It requires quite literally every ounce of self restraint in Jake’s body to not look up from where he’s trying really hard to digest the proposal from the tennis club. Or maybe he’s reading the badminton club’s proposal? He’s a bit distracted right now…
“I didn’t know I needed an excuse to see you, President Sim,” Heeseung says. Well, to say that Heeseung speaks would be an understatement — the more appropriate adverb would be to say that he drawls his words, making them roll off his tongue smoothly yet slowly, silky and soft like butter.
The sound of footsteps comes to a stop right in front of Jake’s desk, and before Heeseung can say something more, Jake springs up from his chair, and heads over to the fax machine like he has a purpose for being there.
He doesn’t. He hasn’t received a fax all day — he hadn’t even been anticipating a fax. But, it’s easier to be at the fax machine with his back turned to Heeseung, than having to stare at the man. Especially from behind his desk — Jake doesn’t need to be reminded of just how inappropriate it is for Heeseung to be here right now.
“I’m busy,” Jake says after a while, turning around with the intention to stalk back to his desk. But when he’s facing Heeseung, the latter seems to have made himself comfortable in Jake’s chair in the time that his back was turned. He even takes the liberty of kicking his feet up on the desk, his thick and chunky boots mere centimetres away from the pristine stack of unread proposals.
Jake marches over, and swats Heeseung’s feet off his desk. “Stop that. You shouldn’t even be here right now.”
“I have every right to be here,” Heeseung challenges, seeming to finally enjoy having Jake’s attention on him. They’re finally face to face, and like this, Jake can conclude that Heeseung hasn’t shaved in a couple days — he only ever looks this shadowy and stubbly when he hasn’t shaved. “You’re the President. I have questions.”
Breathing in through his nose, Jake sighs. He can’t deny Heeseung if he’s asking a question — at the end of the day, Heeseung is a student, and Jake is his president. If he has a question, it’s Jake’s responsibility to answer. Granted, usually the student will let him know that they’d be coming in advance, or Jake sets up a meeting location elsewhere. But alas. What’s done is done. Heeseung is already right in front of him.
“Ask away,” Jake mutters, focusing very hard on keeping his gaze on the small space between Heeseung’s eyebrows, instead of looking into his eyes like how he’s been taught to do in polite conversation.
There’s very little chance that this conversation will veer on the side of being polite, after all.
“When are you free tonight?” Heeseung asks, grinning happily when he sees the annoyed twitch of Jake’s eyebrow appearing immediately after hearing the question.
“That’s not a question.” Jake watches as Heeseung fishes for something in his pocket, cocking up an eyebrow challengingly as he refutes.
“Yes it is.”
“It’s not an appropriate question,” Jake clarifies. He watches Heeseung stick a cigarette between his lips (a Chesterfield one, because Heeseung never carries around any other box by any other brand) and as he flicks a lighter on. “You can’t smoke in here,” he scowls, picking the cigarette up right out of the older’s mouth.
“Are you free tonight?” Heeseung asks again, easily accepting Jake’s rules and pocketing his lighter away. Jake doesn’t know what to do with the cigarette still in his hand, so he sets it onto the table.
Again, he sighs. This one is a bit defeated though — Heeseung isn’t going to leave until he answers the stupid question.
“After seven. But Jay is home tonight,” he says, quickly adding the second part before Heeseung can get ahead of himself. Like he so often does. Jake watches in real time as annoyance clouds over Heeseung’s eyes.
“Ugh, Jay,” Heeseung grunts. He stands up from Jake’s chair, and the latter finds himself internally cursing Heeseung’s decision to wear his chunky boots today. He’s already taller than Jake on a good day, must he feel the need to quite literally tower over him?
“He’s your best friend,” Jake reminds him, stepping around Heeseung to organize the papers on his desk just so that he has something to do. Well, something other than staring at Heeseung.
“Doesn’t mean he’s not a cockblock,” Heeseung points out.
When Jake looks back at him after sufficiently organizing what didn’t need to be organized, the Chesterfield cigarette is back between Heeseung’s lips, and his hand is in his pocket, most probably fishing his lighter out. Again.
“I told you, no,” Jake repeats, once more putting the cigarette out from between Heeseung lips. Having an inkling that Heeseung will most likely try to light his smoke for a third time, Jake opens his desk drawer and withdraws a lollipop — he keeps them for the sugar whenever he ends up working too late into the night.
He unwraps it quickly, and unceremoniously shoves it into Heeseung’s mouth without any preamble.
“You can’t let me get away with a quick smoke, President Sim?” Heeseung asks around the candy, his teeth knocking into the hard sugar.
“These are the rules,” Jake says.
He doesn’t have to be looking at Heeseung to know that he’s smirking around the lollipop in his mouth. But he is looking at Heeseung, so Jake gets to see the smirk, and also gets to see how candy in Heeseung’s mouth glistens from saliva. Red and cherry — both of their favourite lollipop flavours.
“Like you’ve never broken a rule,” Heeseung rolls his eyes, and takes a dangerous step forward. Jake isn’t all too phased — it’s only dangerous because they’re in his office, for crying out loud. “I could think of many, many times.”
Jake smiles, mocking.
“Did you have any other questions, Heeseung-ssi? Or are we done here?”
“Just one more question,” Heeseung hums, taking yet another step forward. Their shoes are only a few centimetres apart; Jake has to tilt his head up in order to make eye contact with the older.
Heeseung takes the lollipop out of his mouth, coated in a sheen of thick saliva, and then taps it onto Jake’s bottom lip once. “Who are you calling.” Twice. “Heeseung.” Thrice. “-Ssi?” Four taps. “Don’t act like we’re strangers, babe.” Finally, a smile which looks a bit too bright for this office, his teeth already stained slightly pink from the candy.
“I’m working,” Jake hisses, lifting his chin defiantly so that the sticky candy isn’t touching his lip anymore. He has to fight the urge to lave his tongue over the trace sugary sweetness. Heeseung just puts the lollipop back into his mouth. “And you should leave before you get caught here with no good reason. You don’t even have class today,” he mentions again.
“Aw, sweetheart,” Heeseung drawls exaggeratedly. “You remember my schedule?” Of course Jake remembers Heeseung’s schedule — Jake had been the one to draft it over the summer in the first place.
“You need to go,” Jake iterates for the nth time, this time not shy about how he puts two hands on the back of Heeseung’s shoulders and begins pushing him towards the door. “Jay is supposed to be here for a debriefing soon, and I haven’t finished my work.”
“Oh, was I distracting you?” Heeseung pouts, looking at Jake from over his shoulder. “Sorry, President Sim.”
Jake smiles dryly. Heeseung isn’t sorry. They both know it.
“Goodbye, Heeseung hyung.” Jake pretends like he can’t see the older’s smug look at finally being addressed properly — at finally being addressed the way he’s used to being called by Jake.
“I’ll see you after seven?” he asks, leaning his back against the still closed office door as he asks.
Jake shakes his head. “Jay is home.”
Heeseung hums, pretending to think about what to say after hearing that. Jake only knows he’s pretending because he knows Heeseung.
“Well,” Heeseung shrugs, swirling his tongue around the candy in his mouth. Jake definitely does not follow the movement with his eyes. “That hasn’t ever stopped you, or us, before.”
Before Jake can get a rebuttal out, Heeseung’s hand is on the doorknob.
He winks at Jake, and crushes the lollipop between his back teeth. “See you after seven, babe.”
Heeseung isn’t able to leave before someone else opens the door from the other side, though. The doorknob gets pushed into Heeseung’s hand, and he’s sent tumbling a couple steps forward, right into Jake.
Instinctively, Jake’s hands come up to catch Heeseung by the waist. He realizes only immediately after his hands make contact with the familiar shape of the older’s body that the last thing he should be doing right now is touching Heeseung.
He takes his hands off Heeseung like his skin has been burned. And just in time too — from around the other’s body, Jake sees Jay walk in with a curious eyebrow arched, clearly unhappy with his best friend’s presence posing as a delay in their debriefing.
Their short meeting is the last thing listed to do today — well, for Jay: he still has to make a dent in the stack of proposals. Though, Jake still knows they’re both eager to go home. Despite home still being on campus, it's still technically considered clocking off work.
“What’re you doing here?” Jay asks, looking at Heeseung instead of Jake. The latter appreciates it — this gives him enough time to recompose himself. “Get out.”
Heeseung puts his hands up in mock surrender, clearly miffed by how hostile Jay is on a late Thursday afternoon, of all times. Well, Jake did try to warn him…
“I was waiting for you. I had a question,” Heeseung lies smoothly. Actually, Jake doesn’t know if it’s a lie. Heeseung could have very much come in here with the intention to see Jay, and not Jake. Jake is just who he ended up with because Jay wasn’t in the office yet.
Jake purses his lips at the realization, a sour feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. He hopes to pay it no mind.
“You didn’t need to show up. A text couldn’t have worked?” Jay sasses. Jake already knows what Heeseung’s answer to that is going to be before he even opens his mouth. Jake guesses he just knows Jay well enough too, at this point.
“Well, maybe if you looked at your phone for once, I wouldn’t be here.” Heeseung sounds sardonic, and Jake finds himself having to stifle a smile at Jay’s reaction of pressing his lips into a thin line. Without any further prompting, Heeseung asks his question. “Sunghoon wanted to go to the gym with you tonight.”
From where Jake is pretending to read his papers back at his desk, he becomes intrigued. He hopes Jay doesn’t notice it — and honestly, he hopes Heeseung doesn’t notice it either.
“Sunghoon could’ve let me know—” When Jay cuts his own words off, Jake knows without even having to look up that it’s because Heeseung had fixed him with a look. “Alright, fine. Whatever. Is that all you wanted?”
“Yep,” Heeseung pops the ‘p’ as he speaks, and then Jake hears his footsteps getting closer and closer to the office door. Jake hears him turn on around, yet still doesn’t look up. “Thank you for your hard work, Mr Vice President,” he chides, no doubt bowing to Jay.
Jake can quite literally feel when Heeseung’s eyes turn onto him, his face instantly heating up. It seems like it doesn’t matter how many times he finds himself under Heeseung’s gaze — his reaction is always the same. “And you too, Mr President.”
Jake lets his eyes flick up momentarily, just to catch Heeseung keeping the bit going as he bows dramatically to him as well. Out of his peripheral vision, he can see that Jay is busying himself with some work at his own desk, and so he feels less self-conscious over subtly staring at Heeseung and watching as he sees himself out.
But of course, before Heeseung can let the door close behind him, he sends Jake yet another wink.
Forcing his gaze down immediately, Jake hears the telltale sound of the door clicking shut. He’s left in silence with Jay, and the only noise to accompany them now are the rustling and shuffling of paper. Jake swallows a lump he didn’t even know was present in his throat, and tries to make sense of all the words swimming on the page in front of him.
“You smoke?” Jay asks out of nowhere, successfully causing Jake to jump in his seat. He has no idea what Jay is talking about, until he follows where the other is looking, and sees the discarded Chesterfield cigarette still on his desk.
“Nope,” Jake answers, picking up the little stick and tucking it away in a drawer. “Not at all.”
It seems like he will be seeing Heeseung after seven tonight after all.
The thing about Heeseung is that he’s not Jake’s friend. But that’s not to say that he didn’t know of Heeseung’s existence — Jake has a feeling that the whole school knows of Heeseung’s existence.
How can they not? He’s the only one out of his graduating class who’s been held back two years in a row, as it were.
Heeseung is a year older than Jake, and he was supposed to graduate a year before Jake. But he didn’t have enough credits to do so, delaying his graduation until the next year. Then, Heeseung was supposed to graduate the year Jake did: but again, he failed a class or two, and his credits fell through. This is Heeseung’s third time attempting to secure his graduation, and Jake hopes that he finally attains his degree, more for Jake’s sake than Heeseung’s own.
Their university is a bit of a funny thing, after all — it’s affiliated with its daughter-high school. So, not only are there university students littering the campus, there are also a handful of high school students with parents who are rich enough to pay for private high school tuition living here as well.
When Jake graduated last year, he was ecstatic to finally not live around a bunch of pubescent teenagers alongside hormone-headed adolescents. But, being elected as student council president comes with the perk of having your accommodation accounted for alongside the pay of the job. Hence why he lives with Jay: the president and the vice president are to live in close quarters, after all.
Perhaps that’s when he met Heeseung, all those months ago at the beginning of summer. When he’d been chosen as the student body’s president, and Jay as the student body’s vice president. Work had started right away, and so had Jake and Jay’s acquaintanceship.
Which had quickly turned to friendship. It had been inevitable, they’re roommates after all. And they had a lot to talk about, given the fact that they’re in the same year, and have been all this time, but have only met each other now. Jake had divulged in the details about his best friend Sunghoon, and Jay had done the same about his infamous best friend, Lee Heeseung.
Through the two of them, all four of them had met. Sunghoon and Jay get along, they’re gym buddies for a reason. And unfortunately, Heeseung and Jake get along too.
Well, maybe getting along is a bit of an exaggeration — Jake can tolerate Heeseung. And he can tolerate him for a long period of time, but that’s not to say that he isn’t absolutely insufferable after a while. Jay is even more short tempered than Jake himself when it comes to Heeseung, so he has no idea how his roommate had managed to deal with Heeseung for as long as he has. Apparently, they’ve been best friends since middle school.
Those instances of head-butting, and short yet passionate spats with Heeseung, had led from one thing to another. Somewhere along the summer, during one of the many nights where Heeseung had come over in the name of finding Jay, just to find out that he’d been long gone at the gym with Sunghoon, did their… arrangement begin.
If Jake can even call it that. They didn’t really talk about it. They still don’t talk about it. One spat and low-flamed argument had led to lingering looks, and wandering hands. The rest is history which took the form of clothes coming off, skin hitting Jake’s sheets, and mouths on each other’s bodies.
And, well, it’s not necessarily history, since it’s not really in the past. That’s the whole reason why they find themselves dancing around Jay more often than not whenever Heeseung wants to come over to see him. His best friend would absolutely lose his mind over Heeseung deciding to fool around during his third attempt at graduating. Though, to that Hesseung would probably say not to worry about it, assuring Jay with something along the lines of, “third time’s the charm!”
But, enough about Jay right now. There are other things to think about — like how Heeseung’s mouth feels hot against his skin as his lips press wet and searing kisses from his shoulder to his collarbones.
“Missed you,” Heeseung mumbles into his skin, and it takes Jake far too long to actually understand what he’s saying. Half of his ears are stuffed with cotton, while the other half is focused on listening to the soft grunts and moans Heeseung lets out right next to his ear. “Fuck your job, seriously.”
Jake chuckles breathlessly, his own hands coming up to smooth over the broad planes of Heeseung’s shoulders. His skin is familiar and warm under Jake’s hands. The familiarity sends a nice tingle through his entire body.
“Don’t be upset just because you don’t have a job,” Jake chides playfully, even going as far as to nibble on Heeseung’s ear between his front teeth. “Focus on graduating, hyung.”
“Don’t talk to me about school right now,” the older huffs. He pulls his face out of Jake’s clavicle, and fixes him with a look. Jake can’t really read what’s in his eyes, and he kind of doesn’t want to either. Who knows what it’s like in Heeseung’s head, after all… “When’s Jay coming back?”
“You’d rather talk about Jay than school?” Jake scoffs, rolling out from right under Heeseung, stopping right at the edge of his bed. He taps his phone just to awaken the screen and read the time. “I dunno, in the next half hour, I think.”
“I don’t want to leave you so soon,” Heeseung groans dramatically. He’s equally as dramatic in the way he flops onto the bed, wrapping an arm around Jake’s middle and pulling him close until they’re chest to back, laying on their sides. Heeseung’s lips once again find their place on the skin behind Jake’s ear. “Hey.” Jake hums, letting his eyes flutter shut under Heeseung’s feathery kisses. “You’re kinda fucked up for sleeping with a student, y’know?”
Jake releases an unimpressed breath, turning around in Heeseung’s hold so that he can stare at the older face-to-face. He’s still unshaven, looking the same way he had in Jake’s office not even four hours ago. His hair is much more mused this time though, from all the… activity they’d been up for the past hour. Jake can also actually see his body now that it’s not obstructed by the fabric of his clothes.
“What’s fucked up is that you’re still a student,” Jake counters, despite knowing a bit too well that it’s a low blow. It’s not necessarily Heeseung’s fault that he’s yet to graduate. It’s just that— “It’s incredible how much of a difference attending your lectures will make.”
“I don’t wanna be in lectures, I wanna be in you,” Heeseung hums, squeezing Jake all the more tighter, until they’re chest-to-chest, and the younger has to tilt his chin up just so that he can look at Heeseung’s face. “The only good thing that came out of flunking both years was you.”
Jake rolls his eyes, shutting his eyes in a semi-grimace when Heeseung sloppily kisses his face.
“Shut up. You need to graduate this year,” he reminds the older. Jay will be more of a menace about it than Jake will be — honestly, Jake doesn’t even want to know of all the havoc Jay will wreck if he finds out that his best friend failed to graduate yet again.
“Hm… okay,” Heeseung agrees, sounding like he isn’t even registering the conversation. Jake wouldn’t be surprised if that’s really the case: Heeseung only really listens when he wants to. Everything else is free game, in his books. He leans his head down just a tiny bit until he’s able to kiss the corner of Jake’s mouth comfortably.
“I’m serious,” Jake insists, grabbing onto Heeseung’s arms when the latter rolls over on top of him, parting his legs with his own, longer ones.
“I’m serious too,” he grins, lips pulled into a pretty little thing which displays his equally as pretty teeth. Heeseung leans down for a kiss, and Jake doesn’t fight it. He never does. “I’m graduating this year, babe.”
Jake doesn’t put too much weight into Heeseung’s words — he had said the same thing to Jay last year. Minus the ‘babe’ part.
But, he’ll still entertain Heeseung.
“Good,” Jake mumbles against the other’s mouth. He doesn’t get a single other word out before Heeseung kisses him deeper, pressing him into the mattress.
Jake kisses back, and thinks that maybe this really is the only good thing that’s come out of Heeseung’s delayed graduation.
»«
Jake’s initial tolerance for Heeseung had developed over the course of only three weeks. Which may seem like a long time, but Sunghoon insists that it’s actually pretty impressive. He claims that Jake traditionally needs longer to warm up to people, and then even longer to actually become their friend. What Sunghoon thinks, however, is that Jake and Heeseung don’t like each other.
What Sunghoon doesn’t know is that Jake doesn’t not like Heeseung. He thinks Heesueng is fine, at the end of the day. He seems to be a good and loyal friend to Jay — which is always a good thing — and he’s obviously adequate enough at keeping Jake’s bed warm. In the beginning, there hadn’t been a reason for Jake to be Heeseung’s friend; at the time of their meeting, he wasn’t even really Jay’s friend. But, things have changed, and time has passed.
The thing which seems to have remained permanent no matter how much time has passed, however, is the fact that Heeseung and Jake butt heads. A lot. Especially in front of their friends. And maybe Jake is grateful for that easy, natural bickering, since it makes hiding their… arrangement easier. It helps keep things under wraps, in simple words. The last thing Jake needs is an earful of Sunghoon pestering him about Heeseung every hour of every day, or Jay sitting him down and listing all the reasons why his best friend is absolutely awful and why Jake should cut things off immediately.
Yeah, Jay is an interesting friend to have. Jake knows that he means well though. Probably. Well, he must, since Heeseung is so loyal to him.
“The overall budget for the clubs this year got approved,” Jay tells him one morning, when they’re walking out of their weekly meeting with the Dean. Jake will never get used to those — the Dean is no less terrifying to him as a graduate than when he was a student. “Did you figure out how to split it?”
“No,” Jake answers easily, rolling his eyes once he steps out into the open, under the sun. It's too nice of a day to want to talk about work. Jake may have hated being around high school students throughout the entirety of his undergraduate studies, but the only thing which made that marginally better was how pretty their campus is. “That’s a problem for tomorrow. This is our day off.”
Technically, there’s no such thing as a day off when working for the student council. The student body never takes a break from being students, after all. There are a handful of people apart of the council too, but Jake isn’t really involved with them personally. It’s his job to work with them and oversee what they’re doing, but Jay is the one who actually knows them well enough to have their phone numbers.
Jake sticks to just emailing them.
“It’s Monday,” Jay deadpans. Jake closes his eyes and just lets the rays of the sun bask his face in a warm glow. He doesn’t want to think about how today is Monday — the beginning of the working week means that alongside his presidential duties of the day, he has to do actual job searching. He can’t be the president of the student council forever, at the end of the day. Or in the real world.
“Shut up, Monday Man. Don’t make today any more miserable than it needs to be,” the younger quips lightly. He opens his eyes and finally recognizes that even if he doesn’t have too much work to get through today (the exact reason why he dubbed it as a day off), he still needs to pop by the office.
In the beginning, running for the student council’s president seemed fun, and like a better use of his time than job searching while not getting paid. But with the more months that pass, the more Jake realizes that he was an idiot for assuming that this would be easier — this is just as much a full time job as anything else.
“Don’t even talk about being miserable,” Jay groans. Jake looks at him weirdly, unsure of what Jay means to say. The latter catches the look, and rolls his eyes before divulging that, “Wanna know what Heeseung hyung told me this morning?”
Not really. Jake doesn’t want to hear about Heeseung any more than necessary. He had seen the other two nights ago, when Jay was visiting his parents’ home, and he had heard from him this morning when the older texted him complaining about going to class.
Jake had reinforced the importance of attending his lectures, to which Heeseung had sent a yawning emoji. Jake doesn’t actually know if Heeseung ended up getting up and going to class. But, that’s not really any of his business anyways.
“What’d he say?” Jake finds himself inquiring, before he can help it. Part of him is always nosy to know more things about Heeseung, whether he seems to know it or not. What’s wrong with being a bit nosy and potentially unveiling blackmail?
“He’s dating,” Jay announces. Well, he states it more than anything else, but to Jake it still feels like an announcement because this is his first time hearing that. “He’s dating, Jake!”
Unsure of what to say, Jake only nods. In theory, there are more than a few things he can say to that. In practice though, Jake knows that none of those things are for Jay’s ears. And anyways, he’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Heeseung is supposedly… dating? It’s especially hard to digest since Jake knows for a fact that Heeseung isn’t dating.
At least, he thinks he knows that for a fact. It’s not like it’s imperative that Heeseung tell Jake everything. But since Jake spends time with Heeseung… intimately, and in a specific regard, it’s not hard to pick up on a thing or two, and then piece them together.
“Right,” he says slowly after some time, knowing Jay well enough to understand that he’s not going to continue if Jake doesn’t give at least some sort of semblance that he’s listening. “Good for him?”
“No,” Jay hisses immediately after hearing Jake’s words. The bite in his tone is enough to cause Jake to jump minutely, looking at his friend with a wide eyed look. What the fuck is wrong with Jay? He knew he was always a bit of a special friend, but this is just something else entirely. If the tables were turned, then Jake would be ecstatic if Sunghoon started dating (more or less because it’d mean that Jake didn’t have to hear Sunghoon drone on and on about how he swears he’s in love with a senior student, instead of finding a job like a normal person)!
“Okay,” Jake nods slowly, agreeing once again. Agreeing is just the easiest thing to do when it comes to Jay. Picking an argument about something he’s passionate about is just asking to unleash a monster. Jake would know — he’s been to enough meetings to know. He also lives with Jay; he’s learned the hard way. “Why not?”
“Because,” Jay begins. He kind of sounds petulant. He also kind of sounds like he’s going to regurgitate something Jake has already heard before. “His focus should be graduating. I’m sick of his mom being on my ass about it too. I love hyung’s mom, but there’s only so much I can do for him!” And, Jake was right.
He’s sure Heeseung’s mom is nice, or whatever, but it can’t be ideal having the woman breathe down Jay’s neck. But then again, Jake is pretty sure that Jay is the only positive influence in Heeseung’s life, so he can understand the woman just a tiny bit.
“Heeseung hyung said he’d graduate this year,” Jake placates, patting Jay’s shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting manner. Despite knowing the other for almost six months at this point, and living with him for that long too, Jake’s still new to this whole friendship-with-Jay thing. “Maybe we should trust him this time.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Jay dismisses. “The problem is that his mom doesn’t trust him.”
Again, Jake doesn’t blame the woman. But what Jake thinks doesn’t matter here — he isn’t Jay, and therefore he doesn't know the nitty-gritty of Heeseung’s personal life. All Jake knows is what Heeseung shows him in the confines of one of their bedrooms, whether he knows it or not. And Jake has no doubt that that’s also how Heeseung comes to acquire everything he knows about him too.
“His mom isn’t your problem,” Jake soothes as best he can. He doesn’t quite think it’s as soothing as he hoped it’d be, but it’s fine. He’s trying. “Remember, I helped hyung draft his schedule this year. Even if he flakes, he should be able to receive every credit.”
Heeseung is smart. Jake knows that because he’s seen Heeseung’s transcripts from his previous undergraduate years, and his previous classes. When Heeseung tries, and actually does the work, Jake isn’t afraid to admit that he’s pretty much a genius. But when he isn’t trying, like it’s been for the past couple years, then of course he isn’t utilizing his full potential.
Again, Jake doesn’t blame him. He knows that it’s not really Heeseung’s fault. Academic burnout is far more common than it is talked about, after all.
“Now. How did you find out he was dating?” Jake can’t help but ask — he’d very much like to know. And if Heeseung didn’t tell him first, then it’s fair game for Jake to wring the information out of Jay.
“Oh, dude, it was gross,” Jay sighs, scrunching his face in what is unhidden disgust. “He had, like, this huge hickey on his neck and didn’t even try to hide it on FaceTime. Was shameless about it when I asked, too.”
Jake has to try his very best to try not to react — of course, he knows very well why Heeseung has a hickey on his neck, and where it had come from. He’ll dismiss Jay’s disgust towards it, since he thinks the hickey was rather tasteful, if nothing else, and instead focuses on searching his brain for something better to ask.
“What’d you ask?”
“I asked who he was fucking,” Jay responds candidly. Jake should’ve expected nothing less from him. As Heeseung’s best friend, of course he’s nothing but blunt and candid, especially to Heeseung himself. It seems foolish of Jake to even entertain otherwise. “And he said he wasn’t.”
“So he said he was dating?” Jake pieces together, feeling his blood pump just a bit quicker under his skin. Why would Heeseung say such a thing? He’s implicating Jake, whether Jay knows that or not.
“Yep,” Jay nods, popping the ‘p.’ Just like Heeseung. Jake wonders who got the habit from whom. “Annoying, isn’t it?”
Jake is sure they’re not necessarily talking about the same thing, but he nods his head in agreement anyways. It is, after all—
“Extremely annoying.”
“I asked who it was, but he wouldn’t say. As long as it’s not that sophomore who has, like, the grossest crush ever on hyung, then it’s whatever.”
“The sophomore who— What?” What the hell is Jay talking about? Last time Jake checked, there was no sophomore who had a, apparently, gross crush on Heeseung.
“You know,” Jay begins, and Jake wants to tell him that no, he doesn’t fucking know. But that’s far too hostile for the easy and (somewhat) innocent conversation Jay is trying to have right now. There's no reason for Jake to antagonize his friend at this moment. All he has to do is be patient and let Jay speak before jumping to conclusions and letting himself become frustrated. “The kid that always hangs around him? He’s new this year, and has like. The biggest crush I’ve ever seen.”
Well. This is awful news for Jake — Heeseung isn’t even technically a kosher senior student. Does the kid even know that? Jake sure hopes so; the last thing he wants is having to deal with paperwork pertaining to something like that.
Which, actually, now that he thinks about it, would be Heeseung’s fault. Doesn’t Heeseung know better than to entertain some sophomore’s crush on him? The kid is probably, like, five years younger than him, or something outrageous like that.
Or, maybe Jake is thinking too much about it. At the end of the day, it’s not really his business. This is a grave Heeseung had dug for himself, and it has nothing to do with him. Heeseung isn’t even the one who told him anything, Jake had to ask Jay for the information. And anyways, what Heeseung does and who Heeseung befriends is none of his business, even if his new friend has a supposed crush on him.
It’s not like Jake has ever even met the kid. Jay could just be reading the whole situation wrong.
Whatever. It’s not like Jake should care — Jake doesn’t care, honestly.
“We should finish up here quick,” Jake says instead, just to change the topic. He desperately wants to think and speak about something else right now. “I wanna go home early tonight.”
Jay nods his head, Jake only sees it out of his peripheral vision, and then goes as far as to even hold their office door open for Jake.
“Whatever you’d like, Mr President.”
“So, I found out something about that senior today.”
Jake groans, dropping the noodles he’d been picking up with his chopsticks. He’s glad that the restaurant they’re in right now is packed full, since he’s not too keen on potentially disturbing other customers, no matter how bad he wants to share the burden of being on the receiving end of yet another story about Sunghoon’s senior.
When Jake looks at his best friend, Sunghoon is scowling at him. “Don’t do that! This is an important development.”
Jake doubts that it is, but he still puts his chopsticks down in order to indicate that he’s listening. Being open to this conversation is the least Jake can do since Sunghoon is paying for their meal (he had insisted on it, actually—he called Jake up after giving an interview, claiming that dinner is on him tonight because he has a really good feeling about this interview. Sunghoon had said that about the last one too, but Jake digresses).
“His name is Kim Sunoo,” Sunghoon announces proudly. He’s smiling all big about it too, lips widely framing his teeth, grinning so hard his incisors make their infamous appearance. Maybe it’d be cute if it wasn’t weird. Jake has been hearing about this senior — who had been a junior when Sunghoon had first become… infatuated — since graduation last year. And Sunghoon has only just gotten his name. It’s beyond a bit unnerving; if Jake were in Sunghoon’s shoes, he’d have moved on a long time ago instead of tossing and turning around in false hope.
“Congratulations,” Jake tells him nonetheless, because he knows what Sunghoon likes to hear. And what Sunghoon wants to hear: Jake knows that if he says the wrong thing, his best friend is going to burst into tears. Right here, in the middle of the restaurant. Unceremoniously. “Is that all?”
“No,” Sunghoon sounds giddy when he answers. Jake is mildly impressed, and doesn’t even try to hide it. It has been months of Sunghoon’s puppy crush getting nowhere, so Jake will consider any tiny, minute development as a win for Sunghoon. And his own sanity. “He’s friends with some kid named Yang Jungwon.”
“Cool,” Jake nods. He doesn’t know where Sunghoon is going with this.
“And that kid is, like, best friends with another kid. A transfer student, I’m pretty sure? He’s a sophomore.” There’s no way Sunghoon is headed in this direction.
Jake knew that the world was comparatively small, but there’s just no way that it’s this small. Granted, the odds that Sunghoon is talking about who Jake is thinking about are slim. Jake is the student council president — he has access to a list of transfer students, and so Sunghoon could be referring to any one out of seventy-three students.
What are the chances that they’re both thinking about the same person, right?
“How do you even know any of this?” Jake feels inclined to ask, and do his duty as Sunghoon’s best friend. Sunghoon doesn’t even go to school anymore, so it’s not like he’s roaming around campus and acquiring this information. It’s only slightly weird that he knows all of this all of a sudden.
“That’s where things get crazy,” Sunghoon insists. He even sits up straighter in his chair, leaning across the table so that he can get closer to Jake. “Heeseung hyung was hanging out with him. The sophomore kid.”
If Jake were drinking water, it’d have been spit out of his mouth. But there’s no water in his mouth, and therefore Jake is able to just focus really hard on trying to school his expression and make sure his face isn’t giving anything away.
Is there even something to give away? Just who the hell is this kid, and what the hell does Heeseung have to do with him?
“So?” Jake asks, as neutrally as he can. Maybe if he feigns indifference, Sunghoon won’t be suspicious. Again, what he’d be suspicious of, Jake isn’t all too sure.
“So, I went up to just say hi to hyung, and the kid was there, and like, two minutes later Sunoo came up to the kid and. Yeah. That's how I learned his name. And that Jungwon is the kid’s friend.”
“Can we give the kid a name?” Jake asks exasperatedly, just because hearing Sunghoon repeat the word ‘kid’ is getting on his nerves. And because whenever he hears the word, he just thinks of a twelve year old. And he’s pretty sure that Heeseung’s isn’t befriending a twelve year old sophomore.
“Riki,” Sunghoon supplies. He sits back in his chair, and Jake takes that as a sign that he’s done sharing new information. Jake picks his chopsticks back up, and tucks Riki’s name into a corner of his brain to interrogate Heeseung about later. “Did you know hyung is dating someone?”
“So I’ve heard,” Jake says dryly. He’s looking at his food, and he’s not looking at Sunghoon, which is why he doesn’t see the way the latter is staring at him with calculating eyes.
Most of the time, Jake thinks that Sunghoon has had maybe three intellectual thoughts in his entire life. Other times, he admits that Sunghoon is far more perspective and intelligent than anyone (including Jake himself) gives him credit for. It’s just hard to remember the capable side of Sunghoon when he always goes around saying the stupidest shit Jake has ever heard in his entire life. And behaving like he can’t think sensically for more than three seconds at a time: this entire situation with the — apparently now named Kim Sunoo — senior just goes to show it all.
“Do you know who he’s dating?”
Jake is taken aback by the question, but he doesn’t let it show. He busies himself with taking a bite of his food, and chewing it while he tries to think of an appropriate answer. If he chews slower than usual, Sunghoon is none the wiser.
On one hand, he does know who gave Heeseung the hickey which had spiralled this whole conspiracy in the first place — it had been him. But on the other hand, he doesn’t know who Heeseung is dating, because he isn’t dating (again, at least to Jake’s knowledge, he isn’t dating anyone).
“Nope,” he denies, hoping that he looks as uninterested as he sounds. It’s been two days since Jay had sprung this new information on him, and he hasn’t been able to see Heeseung in those two days. Therefore, he hasn’t had a chance to ask Heeseung about this whole situation. “Why would I?”
“I dunno,” Sunghoon shrugs. He too takes a bite of his food, and he isn’t even looking at Jake when he says, “You guys just seemed a bit close, is all.”
“Us?” Jake balks. He has a feeling his eyes are probably wide, but he just doesn’t have any other way to express the shock that Sunghoon’s statement had evoked in him. “What the fuck? Why would hyung and I be close?”
Jake’s palm feels clammy when they try to grip his chopsticks again, and he hopes that Sunghoon doesn’t notice the way that he’s literally struggling to get a proper grip on the utensils.
“Whoa, dude, I didn’t know you’d be offended,” Sunghoon placates. “You guys just seem to spend a lot of time together.”
“No we don’t,” Jake immediately denies. Maybe a bit too quick, and a bit too adamant. But if Sunghoon notices that, he doesn’t say anything about it. “We’re not even close.” In the colloquial sense, that is. They’re close in the way that Jake knows where every mole on Heeseung’s body is located. He knows where his birthmark is. He also knows the older’s pleasure points, and where he’s ticklish.
Not that Sunghoon needs to know any of that. Not that anyone needs to know any of that, really.
“Whatever, man. I heard it from Jay. He says that he always finds Heeseung hyung’s stuff laying around.”
Jay always finds what laying around? What the hell? Why didn’t Jay take that up with him, insteading gossiping about it with Sunghoon? And since when did Jake begin missing the things Heeseung would take off in their dorm? They’re both usually good with cleanup — they’re both usually adamant on keeping things just between them.
Jake admits that sometimes he does see a stray piece of clothing, but he just thinks that it belongs to Jay. The latter is always finding new clothes to spend his money on, after all, so Jake never thinks twice about it. It’s clear to him now though that he should’ve been paying attention to the foreign clothing — maybe if he did, he’d recognize how they weren’t foreign to begin with. They belonged to Heeseung.
Jay finding Heeseung’s things when Heeseung has no reason to be in their dorm looks suspicious, and leads to only one conclusion. He has to wonder just how long Jay has been pondering about if he’s reached the right conclusion or not. Was he supposed to be picking up on hints, or something? Because the only conclusion Jake can come to is that if Jay is thinking what Jake thinks he’s thinking, then he’s absolutely mortified.
The next time he sees his roommate is going to be a battle between his willpower and his pride. Both of which are crumbling at the mere thought of pretending like he doesn’t know what Jay is thinking about his and Heeseung’s relationship. Or, well, what Jay might think is a supposed relationship.
Jake finishes dinner with the dawning realization that Sunghoon thinks that he’s close to Heeseung. Jay probably thinks that they’re even closer. And well, that’s just one step closer to finding out the actual truth.
»«
Jake brings it up a day later, because he feels like he has no other choice but to. He also feels like he’s going to explode if he keeps this to himself any longer, constantly living in fear of when Jay will deem appropriate to let the metaphoric bomb drop, or something like that.
(It’s very likely that Jake is just being dramatic, and is overthinking everything to the nines. But, that’s just how thoughts are manifesting in his head, and so he decides to get things under control the only way he knows how to: by talking.)
They’re at Heeseung’s dorm this time. It’s always easier to be together here, since they don’t run the risk of Jay coming home unexpectedly — but Jake’s shared dorm is closer to campus.
“Hey,” Jake calls trying (not really) to get Heeseung’s eager and roaming hands to let up for a bit. Just long enough for him to string together a sentence, and long enough for Heeseung to listen to him. “Hey. Hyung.”
“Mm, what is it?” Heeseung sighs, relenting only a bit by loosening the grip he has on Jake’s hips. He slides his hands up to Jake’s waist instead, under the fabric of his clothes. Jake lets his hands wander, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to make Heeseung let go of him completely.
“You told Jay you’re dating someone?” Jake asks directly, leaning back just far enough so that he can look at Heeseung’s face.
The latter furrows his eyebrows at the question, and he opens his eyes properly so that they’re no longer half-lidded. He fixes Jake with a look, and the younger is appalled to find out that it’s an incredulous one.
“You want to talk about Jay right now?” Heeseung asks slowly, like he can’t believe he’s even saying the words out loud.
Jake rolls his eyes, and hardens his glare.
“No. I want to talk about why you said you’re dating someone. Is there someone you’re interested in? Because that’s something that you should tell me.”
Heeseung scoffs, and Jake would be lying if he said that he was surprised at the reaction. After months, he knows Heeseung a bit too well — even if most of the things are things he’s learned against his will.
“Come on, babe. I just had to get Jay off my back,” Heeseung reasons. He takes a step back, but of course, Heeseung doesn’t let them stay apart for too long. He grabs Jake by the hands, and pulls him straight into his lap as he falls down onto the bed behind him. “Why does it even matter?”
Heeseung leans in for a kiss, and Jake isn’t fast enough to dodge it. For the next couple seconds, the younger is thoroughly distracted. The feeling of Heeseung’s tongue licking across the seam of his lips is much more pleasurable than the conversation he’s trying to have, after all.
But, Jake knows that if he doesn’t talk about it now, then Heeseung is just going to prolong this conversation from ever happening.
“Hyung,” Jake breaks their kiss by saying. “It matters because—” Heeseung swallows his words with another kiss. This time, Jake smacks his shoulder. “Hyung!”
“Okay, okay. Sorry,” Heeseung quirks the corner of his lip lamely, but still sits back far enough to let Jake know he won’t try anything. All while keeping one hand under his clothes though, obviously.
“It matters because I think our friends think we’re dating,” Jake insists, grabbing Heeseung’s hand by the wrist so that he doesn’t manage to get anywhere higher on his chest. Heeseung doesn’t seem too upset about that though, since he just rubs circles under Jake’s ribs with his thumb.
He also doesn’t seem too upset about the fact that their friends think they’re dating. “So?”
“What do you mean, so? We’re not dating!” Jake doesn’t get to hear Heeseung’s reaction to that, since he doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, the older flips them around, until he can hover over Jake and smile down at him the way he always does when he’s thinking about everything except the topic at hand.
“You look so good right now,” he mutters. Jake can’t name the look in Heeseung’s gaze right now, though all he knows is that he’s about five seconds away from ripping the clothes off Jake’s body.
“Thank you,” Jake comments, deadpan. “But that’s not what we’re talking about right now.”
“I don’t even know why we’re doing so much talking right now,” Heeseung sighs. He finally lets his eyes stop somewhere which isn’t below Jake’s neck, looking right into the younger’s eyes as he asks, “Wanna fuck? Or can I take a quick smoke?”
Again, Jake rolls his eyes. He shoves Heeseung off him by the chest, and sits up against the headboard of the other’s bed.
“Take a smoke first,” Jake tells him. He watches as Heeseung rolls off the bed and fishes a cigarette out of the box he has in his bedside table. He takes his lighter with him to the sliding door in the corner of his room, which opens onto the balcony.
Heeseung doesn’t go to stand outside completely, but he does lean against the now open door frame, blowing his smoke outside.
“You should also stop stringing along that sophomore kid,” Jake says after a while. He’s comfortable in Heeseung’s bed, and he’s comfortable watching the latter smoke too. But he still found the need to fill the silence, and this had been the first thing to pop into his mind.
“Riki?” Heeseung snickers, fixing Jake with a look as he leans his back against the door frame. “I’m stringing him along?”
“Jay says that the kid has a crush on you, or something,” the younger shrugs. He feels kind of foolish for bringing this up now that he hears the words aloud — it has nothing to do with him. It’s none of his business. Jake doesn’t even know the kid, he really shouldn’t be talking about him.
“He probably does,” Heeseung ends up agreeing. “He’s always coming over to play video games. Asks me to hang out, too.”
“And you say yes?” Jake squints his eyes, weary of Heeseung’s answer. It’d be really fucking weird if Heeseung really was stringing this kid along with false hope.
“Nah, I tell him I’m busy,” he answers. Jake purses his lips. He has more questions, but Heeseung continues to speak. “Enough about that. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re jealous.”
Jake scowls. Heeseung steps back into the room and slides the door shut, crushing the butt of his cigarette into his ashtray, and leaving it there to clean up later. Then, he pops a mint into his mouth — internally, Jake is pleased. He used to have to remind Heeseung to do that before kissing him if he had just finished smoking.
“Jealous of a fucking sophomore? Hyung, don’t be ridiculous,” Jake scoffs.
He doesn’t put up a fight when Heeseung crawls back into bed, pushing Jake’s legs apart with his hands until he can lay on his stomach between them. The older gets comfortable with an arm around Jake’s waist, laying the side of his head on one thigh.
“Maybe not jealous of Riki. But maybe of the fact that Jay thinks I’m gonna give the little kid a chance?”
Jake does not want to talk about this. It feels wildly inappropriate — especially with the way Heeseung is laying between his legs. Jake’s only form of retaliation is a harsh dig of his toe into Heeseung’s ribs.
The older squirms as Jake sternly says, “Stop being fucking weird about the kid. Leave him alone, you creep.”
“That’s not answering my question,” Heeseung hums, nosing into Jake’s thigh, despite the fabric still covering them. The younger suppresses a shiver — Heeseung’s breath is so warm, even over his clothes. “You jealous, babe? Should I just tell people that we are dating? Maybe that’d make things easier for you.”
“You’re annoying,” Jake grunts. Heeseung looks right up at him (Jake’s heart may or may not skip a beat at the heavy look in his eyes). Both of the older’s hands come up to slowly undo the drawstrings of Jake’s sweatpants. “You shouldn’t have lied about that in the first place.”
“But I already did,” Heeseung says innocently. “What’s done is done.” He pulls Jake’s drawstrings undone, and the latter’s breath catches in his throat. Heeseung’s fingertips are ghosting right over his arousal, over his pants, and it’s only a bit maddening. “I can’t really take it back.”
“Hyung,” Jake warns, meeting Heeseung’s eyes for a brief moment. “If you keep talking without doing something, I’m leaving.”
Jake isn’t a fan of how easy it is for Heeseung to drive him to the brink of insanity, but he also isn’t a fan of being hard and being left waiting. Both Heeseung’s hands and mouth are literally less than ten centimetres away from his arousal — why is he stalling?
“You’re impatient, sweetheart,” Heeseung comments, feigned annoyance coating his tone. “What should I do with you, hm?”
Jake hums too, and lets one of his hands come down to card through Heeseung’s black hair slowly. Only for a few seconds though, before he ever so slightly tightens his grip and leads Heeseung’s head right where he wants him.
They lock eyes again. Jake smiles, the picture of innocence. “I could think of a couple things, hyung.”
Just because Heeseung tells Jake that his white lie isn’t a big deal, doesn’t mean that he tells Jay it isn’t a big deal. And telling Jay might’ve been the more important part, as it were.
Because it only takes Jay a week to make up an entire, viable list of people he suspects Heeseung could be dating. And Jake isn’t even surprised when he sees his name on it — hell, even Sunghoon’s name is on it. Jake isn’t sure just how viable the list really is anymore.
“So,” Jay begins, bringing his list to the table, interrupting Jake’s dinner. Why do people always try to sabotage his dinner? “I’ve narrowed it down.”
“This is a really inappropriate way to use your authority as Vice President, by the way,” Jake reminds him. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to accomplish though — Jay is much more lax about the ethics behind school politics, compared to Jake. Maybe that’s why Jay didn’t get the President position…
“You’re the only one who knows,” Jay dismisses, waving his hand as if to brush the matter away. “You’re also still on the list.”
“I’m not dating Heeseung hyung,” Jake sighs, repeating that same phrase for what feels like the hundredth time in the past seven days. He doesn’t know what’s so unbelievable about his statement either. So what if Jay found some of Heeseung’s things laying around here and there before? That could easily be dismissed as the older forgetting some of his things after hanging out with Jake — it doesn’t automatically mean that they’re dating.
“Agree to disagree,” his roommate nods his head. He isn’t even looking up at Jake. It’s not like he didn’t even hear what he said.
“What happened to being innocent until proven guilty?”
“You were never innocent in the first place,” Jay deadpans. Jake flinches back, mildly offended. What the fuck? “Now, there’s this girl who I’ve seen Heeseung hyung talk to in class—”
“How do you even know what he’s doing in class? You’ve graduated,” Jake cries out, exasperated. Does Jay really have anything better to do with his time? What about the student council duties which he’s always on Jake’s ass about? The latter is quite sure that there’s no way they’re free of work, for even a couple hours.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jay says cryptically. Jake wishes he could just not worry about it — but this is his Vice President. His co-worker. His right hand man. And he’s spending his time decoding who his best friend is dating (no one!) when he could be coming up with the outline for their meeting with the university’s investors next week.
Jake likes Jay, really. He’s a good person, a good friend, a good roommate, and a good co-worker. It’s just that sometimes, he does shit like this which reminds Jake that both Jay and himself are freshly graduated, and still find nonsense entertaining. It wouldn’t be a big deal if they had the time to entertain nonsense; but the investors’ meeting is literally going to be the cause of Jake’s hair prematurely greying, so he doesn’t really have time to do anything else. And quite honestly, neither should Jay.
“I understand that you’re like, weirdly invested in this. But you know who else invested? The university stakeholders. So can we like, do some work? And do our jobs?”
Jay looks at Jake for all of three seconds, blankly. Then he blinks, slumps his shoulders, and pouts.
“Why are you bringing your work personality home? I liked you better when you’d have burping competitions with me.”
“Because this meeting is going to eat me alive if it doesn’t go well,” Jake rolls his eyes, getting up from his seat. He collects his used dishes to the sink, turning on the tap to begin washing them. “Why aren’t you worried about it?”
“Of course I’m worried about it,” Jay assures. At least Jake finally knows he’s not the only one who’s losing years off his life about this. It’d be a horrible look if some of their stakeholders back out or withdraw their investment under his watch and management. “But I’m also worried about my best friend’s love life. And academic life. And it’s only one of those things that I can actively try to interfere with.”
Jake sighs, then hums. He supposes Jay is right. What’s the use in channeling your stress into something you can’t control completely? At least with his stupid list, Jay probably feels in control of the whole Heeseung situation.
“Fine. Whatever. Do what you want, man, but help with the PowerPoint for the meeting first?”
Jay doesn’t complain after being asked to lend a hand, and Jake is reminded once more why he’s rather glad that he got stuck with Jay as Vice President instead of anything else. Working with anyone else, and living with anyone else, would’ve most likely been the equivalent of hell.
Sure, Jay brings his fair share of hell right to the table, but it’s nothing Jake decides that he absolutely hates. He’s learned to always keep an eye on the brighter side of things, anyways.
The brighter side entails Jay coming up to him a couple hours after the (thankfully) successful stakeholders’ meeting to tell him that, “You’re not dating Heeseung hyung.”
Yes, well. Jake could’ve told him that yesterday. Which he did, by the way. And the day before that, and the week before that as well…
“I’m very glad you’ve finally pieced that together,” Jake says seriously, though it’s likely that his words also come out a bit condescending. It’s fine — Jay deserves both of the sentiments. Jake turns back to his laptop screen, despite the fact that Jay is still looking for him. “What do I owe your newfound intelligence to?”
“Heeseung hyung went on a date last night.”
Jake’s hand pauses where it’s running along his keyboard typing. But then he realizes that he just had an outward reaction to Jay’s statement, and panics. So he pretends like he had meant to take a break from typing, and flexes his fingers and school his expression into something which he hopes comes off as neutral and uncaring.
Because that’s what he should be right now; uncaring. Because this has nothing to do with him — who Heeseung decides to take on a date and who he decides he wants to date is none of Jake’s business. Plus, Jake knows something that Jay doesn’t: Heeseung is just trying to get his best friend off his back. Who’s to say he actually went on a date, right?
“Good for hyung,” Jake settles on saying. He decides to bite the bullet and look at Jay as he speaks too, just to hopefully solidify the fact that he couldn’t care less, to Jay. Even if his mind is reeling with the millions of questions he wants to ask Heeseung. Why doesn’t Heeseung ever discuss these things with him first? He seems to just constantly enjoy putting him in a precarious position. “Did it go well?”
“I dunno,” Jay drawls slowly. He looks like he’s trying to figure something out just by staring at Jake’s face. The latter doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but decides that it’s better to hide whatever potential leverage Jay might wield out of his face. So, he raises an eyebrow instead of doing anything else. “Hyung didn’t say.”
Jake nods, and then turns back to his computer. Well, there’s just nothing to say to that then, now is there? And it’s not like Jake necessarily wants the details from Jay. He wants the details from Heeseung, because he doesn’t know if whatever Jay tells him is the truth, or if it’s just another white lie Heeseung told his best friend.
As he’s scanning the document in front of him, Jake briefly wonders to himself how he managed to find himself in the middle of all this. All this being in Heeseung’s bed, and on Jay’s suspicion list. He doesn’t know what Jay is looking for, and now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t know what Heeseung is looking for either.
After being friends, Jake supposes that all he and Heeseung do for each other is warm the others’ bed. So, has Heeseung suddenly decided that he’s over that? And if so…
… is he looking for a relationship?
»«
“You have to start telling me things.”
“I just finished telling you a lot of things,” Heeseung replies smugly, looking up at Jake’s from under his eyelashes. The younger is sure that the angle is uncomfortable, and probably feels as awkward as it looks. After all, Jake is upside down in the older’s vision, since Heeseung’s head is laying on his chest, both of them on their backs.
“Important things,” Jake emphasizes. He squints his eyes at Heeseung when he already looks like he knows what to say, but even the subtle warning look isn’t enough to get Heeseung to think twice about what he’s going to say.
“Letting you know that you were a good boy seemed pretty important, no?” he smirks. Jake’s glare becomes narrower, and he wonders if Heeseung can see his cheeks turn pink; Jake can certainly feel the blood rush to them. “Your pillowtalk has become so awful lately, babe.”
“I’m not trying to have pillowtalk,” Jake grumbles, pinching a small part of Heeseung’s arm in retaliation. The only thing he gets in return is Heeseung trying to bite his fingers. He watches silently for a moment, as Heeseung collects his phone from the bedside table before getting comfortable on Jake’s chest again. “Did you. Uh, go on a date?”
If Heeseung has a reaction to his words, Jake can’t see it. He can’t see Heeseung’s face at all from this angle, as the only thing he’s privy to is the top of the older’s head. But there’s not much he can deduct from a head of black hair.
“I did,” Heeseung agrees after a while. His words come out slow, but the answer still falls much more easily from his lips than Jake thought it would’ve. “You heard?”
Jake hears the implicit question which goes unasked. He knows Heeseung, after all. “Jay told me.” Heeseung hums. Jake looks down at him, just to see that he’s pulled up a livestream on his phone, holding it up high enough so that Jake can clearly see the screen, if he wanted to. “F1?”
“Of course.” Jake can hear the grin in Heeseung’s voice. “You finally wanna watch a race with me?”
It’s not Jake’s favourite hobby. And if he’s being honest, watching racing games isn’t a hobby of his at all. But he has a handful of knowledge about the game because of Heeseung himself, since he’s been around during a race more times than he can count.
It’s one of the cuter hobbies Heeseung partakes in. Not that Jake thinks that Heeseung is cute, by any other means. Really.
“Keep it on,” Jake finally mumbles, once he realizes that Heeseung is most likely waiting for an answer. Jake watches the race, but he isn’t really retaining anything. The only team he can properly identify is Heeseung’s favourite one — Red Bull. But everything else doesn’t make too much sense to him, so he ends up tuning it out before long.
Mindless, and lost in thought, Jake finds his hands wandering to Heeseung’s head, his fingers brushing through the recently formed tangles in his hair. It’s the least Jake can do; the tangles had formed courtesy of him.
Sometimes, when Jake really has nothing to think about, then he finds himself asking what he’s even doing with Heeseung. Their whole relationship had started as a way to expel of the bickering passion they exude around each other, but that was many, many months, and many, many fucks ago too. They’ve long already expelled quite literally everything around each other.
Then, Jake thinks that it’s just a nice way to regularly let off steam. Having no strings attached is a nice feeling too, to some degree, since it makes breathing around each other just a bit easier.
Or at least, that’s how it used to feel for Jake. But right now, he finds himself feeling self conscious of his breaths, wondering if his chest is rising too dramatically or too rapidly; he wonders if this is uncomfortable for Heeseung to lay against.
There’s no use in thinking those thoughts though — he doesn’t even know where they came from. What’s useful to think about is how he should be grateful that this is a no strings attached relationship: the both of them already have enough on their plates in their individual lives. This is the only way they can get entangled with each other without someone getting hurt, or getting the wrong idea.
Heeseung is trying to graduate, for fuck’s sake, the one thing he’s been working hard for, and the one thing his friends and family are hoping he accomplishes. Jake is trying to actually find a way to use his degree, and he tells himself everyday that becoming student council President wasn’t just a way to prolong the inevitable because he doesn’t even know what to do with his degree.
They both have their own baggage; they both have their own dirty laundry. It’s no use sharing too much with each other, but Jake thinks that it’s already much too late for that. Over the course of the months he’s known Heeseung, and has been sleeping with him, he’s learned a lot about the older and his life. So who’s to say that Heeseung hasn’t learned just as much about Jake and his life?
Somewhere along the way, getting entangled and intertwined in more than one way had been inevitable. Jake wasn’t banking on it when he had first realized that the base of their relationship was becoming a regular thing, and so he wonders if maybe Heeseung was banking on it instead.
But these are just things and thoughts that will remain as just that: wonders and questions. He won’t be asking Heeseung any of it, because he doesn’t feel like he has the right to. Ever since Jay had brought up this whole idea of Heeseung dating, it’s hit Jake with just one realization over and over again: it’s none of his business. It hasn’t ever been any of his business, and it never will be.
And so, if he already knew everything from the very first time he fell into Heeseung’s arms and his bed, Jake has to wonder… When did he begin to get the wrong idea?
“Babe.” Jake blinks, snapped out of the whirlwind of his thoughts at the sound of Heeseung’s whine. “Were you listening to me?”
Hm, that’s funny. Normally, it’s Jake who has to ask Heeseung that question. Sheepish, Jake smiles and pats Heeseung’s head as an apology.
“Sorry. What were you saying, hyung?”
“You weren’t paying attention to the race either, were you?”
Again, Jake is sheepish. “Guilty.” He doesn’t have anything else to say, so he doesn’t. Heeseung is looking up at him now, with his cheek now pressed into the bare skin above Jake’s heart. For the first time in a while, Jake can see Heeseung’s face.
He’s always known that Heeseung is good looking. Even if his reputation never painted him in the best light, Jake couldn’t lie to himself: Heeseung is handsome. And when he’s looking up at Jake like this, he’s pretty. And when he’s scrolling through cat videos on his Instagram explore page, he’s cute. Jake feels like this is all common knowledge — but then he hears Jay telling Heeseung to stop smiling like that, or else he’ll throw up.
So maybe not everyone thinks Heeseung is attractive in the same way Jake does. Well, obviously not everyone does, since not everyone is attracted enough to Heeseung to sleep with him regularly.
“You’re staring,” Heeseung comments, sliding up and off Jake’s chest so that he can hover over him instead. “D’you like what you see?”
Jake smiles smally at the familiar question, having heard it a handful of times from Heeseung’s mouth. Yet, he doesn’t answer. He just brushes some of the older’s hair out of his eyes, and leans up for a kiss. It’s definitely on the softer side, compared to every other kiss they’ve shared tonight, but Jake might just like this one the best because of how warm it makes him feel. Their bare legs are tangled under Heeseung’s blanket, and one of Heeseung’s hands comes up to cradle the side of Jake’s head as he kisses back.
Somewhere along the way, Jake has come to become addicted to the shape of Heeseung’s mouth, and the taste of his kisses.
“Mmh, you like it then, do you?” Heeseung asks against his lips, their mouths still pressed so closely that Jake can feel the other’s smile. “You flatter me. What would you like, baby?”
That’s a funny question to ask with what Jake has swirling in his head. He doesn’t have an answer. So instead, he says something else.
“I have something to ask you,” he says, earning a playful groan from Heeseung. The latter flips them around then, until he’s the one leaning against the pillows, with Jake in his lap. They’re pressed together even more like this, and since they’re still very much naked, Jake decides he likes it a lot.
“It better be some good pillowtalk this time. What’chu got?”
Jake feels something unnerving settle into the pit of his stomach. It’s not going to be good pillowtalk. But before he can chicken out of asking what he wants to know the answer to, Jake finds himself opening his mouth. It’s better if he speaks before his own mind can sabotage him.
“Do you… want to uh. Stop what we have going on?”
The resultant silence is also unnerving. Jake is looking down at Heeseung, but he finds that he can’t even stare at the unreadable expression which takes over the older’s face after hearing the question. Jake looks down to fiddle with the blankets strewn about around them instead, and focuses on breathing normally. He even tries to focus on the feeling of Heeseung’s hand on his thigh in an attempt to get something to ground him.
It’s that same hand which squeezes, making Jake’s eyes snap back to him.
“Why?”
Jake knew he’d ask. What he didn’t know was that Heeseung would have a new look in his eyes — one that Jake can’t identify. He doesn’t know what Heeseung is thinking, and for all his eyes are unreadable, his hand is still as warm and comforting as it’s always been, smoothing along his thigh.
“Because you want to date,” he blurts out.
Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to blurt out. Heeseung’s hand stops moving.
“Who said that?” he asks carefully. His words come out slower too — Heeseung sounds just a bit challenging, as if he wants to know who put that idea into Jake’s head. If someone had put the idea into Jake’s head.
As if the answer isn’t Heeseung himself. The only reason these thoughts have been plaguing Jake’s mind in the first place is because of Heeseung.
“You did, apparently,” he scoffs. Why is Heeseung talking in circles? And why is he acting like he didn’t admit to going on a date, just twenty minutes prior?
“I don’t like that tone, sweetheart,” Heeseung warns, eyes narrowing just a bit.
“Well, I told you to tell me important things. Maybe no one else knows that I’m here right now, but you put me in a weird position every time Jay tells me about your dating life,” Jake explains. His words are falling out of his mouth quicker than they’re going through his brain, so he’s not even too sure if he’s making any sense. All he knows is that he must’ve been waiting a while to let all of these thoughts out, since it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders once the words are free in the air between them.
“I don’t have a dating life,” Heeseung tells him firmly. He catches Jake’s eyes as he says, “I’m not dating anyone.”
“But you want to,” Jake insists, catching Heeseung’s hand by the fingers when he feels it begin crawling up from his thigh to his waist.
Again, the older’s eyes narrow as he looks at Jake. Just like how Jay looked at him a couple days ago, Heeseung looks like he’s trying to read something on Jake’s face. And just like with Jay, Jake has no idea what Heeseung is looking for.
“You don’t know what I want,” he tells Jake, snapping his gaze off to the side right after.
Good. This way, Heeseung doesn’t see how Jake’s eyes soften with something akin to want. Maybe he doesn’t know what Heeseung wants, but that’s why—
“That’s why I’m asking you,” Jake squeezes Heeseung’s fingers with his hand, gently bringing the other’s gaze back onto him. He even leans forward and down just a tiny bit, until they have no choice but to look into each other’s eyes. “Do you want to see other people?”
Almost immediately, Heeseung rebuttals with, “Is that what you want?”
And maybe Jake should think about his answer. But his instinctual needs take over, and the words are falling out of his mouth before he has a chance to run them through his head.
“I want whatever you want.”
The mortifying part of the whole ordeal is coming to terms with the fact that it’s true: Jake wants what Heeseung wants.
Because asking what he wants doesn’t cover enough anymore — what he wants is for Heeseung to be happy. Whether it be with or without him. Whatever it means for him.
Heeseung smiles, but it’s a wry little thing. It makes Jake wonder if he said the wrong thing. But like a lot of things pertaining to Heeseung, Jake keeps this wonder as a question to himself, too.
“Right now, I want you,” Heeseung says, easily moving his hand up from Jake’s waist, until it curls around his nape and brings him close. Just up until their mouths are hovering over each others’. He asks a simple question. “What d’ya say? You want me too?”
In more ways than you could ever know.
But Jake doesn’t say that. He can’t say that — and he won’t. So instead, all he does is lean in to push their mouths together, worming a hand under the blanket and between their bodies.
Jake nods his head, swallowing Heeseung’s gasp when Jake wraps a hand around him, tugging just so that he can hear Heeseung moan right into his mouth. Maybe saying he’s addicted isn’t enough anymore.
Jake yearns for Heeseung despite already having him.
“I want you, hyung.” I think I’ll always want you.
Not for the first time, Jake’s office door is swung open unceremoniously. And just like every other time that happens, Jake’s immediate conclusion is that Heeseung is barging into his office.
So, he doesn’t even bother looking up from fishing around his desk drawer before saying, “I’m a bit busy right now—”
“Right, but listen,” Sunghoon’s voice interrupts. Jake freezes, and feels extremely grateful for Sunghoon’s sixth sense or something, for interrupting him when he had — before Jake could've let the word ‘hyung’ slip past his lips. “I think I just. Like. I think I just asked Kim Sunoo on a date? And I think he said yes?”
Jake sighs, no longer looking through his drawer. He sits up straight, and motions for the other to take a seat on the chair in front of his desk.
“You think?” Jake repeats. But then he notices what Sunghoon is wearing, and has to backtrack. “Where did you come from?”
“Another interview, man, what else?” Sunghoon groans, flailing his limbs around miserably. “Getting a job with a kinesiology degree was supposed to be easy.”
Jake smiles grimly at that — he can relate. Getting a job with an engineering degree was also supposed to be easy. Maybe the odds would’ve been better for the both of them if the professional job market wasn’t so goddamn competitive and corrupt. And unfair—
“How’d a botched interview lead to going on a date with Kim Sunoo?” Jake asks, because he can’t deny that he’s interested, alongside wanting to change the topic of conversation before they both fall into the depressing rabbit hole (the economy) that they usually find themselves in.
“You’ll never believe it,” Sunghoon prefaces. He looks and sounds like all life has been rejuvenated in him at the mere mention of Sunoo’s name. Jake would think it’s awful and weird if he wasn’t marginally happy for Sunghoon — his best friend deserves to have at least one thing going for him. “He’s a barista at the coffee shop my interview was at.”
It’s not the most unbelievable thing in the world — so Jake does believe it. “And I think he took pity on me because the interview went so… well, awful.”
“So you scored a pity date?” Jake frowns. That didn’t sound like something to be all too excited over.
“It wasn’t pity,” Sunghoon gasps, sounding scandalized. Jake just waits for an explanation — what else was he supposed to think? “I decided that the only thing that would make me feel better was if I talked to Sunoo. So I just sucked it up and asked if he wanted to like. Get dinner sometime.”
“… and he said yes to that?” Jake asks skeptically. He can’t help it. He doesn’t even know this Sunoo guy, so it’s not like he knows what he’s like, but it’s just hard to picture anyone saying yes to Sunghoon after an abrupt offer like that. But then again, maybe he’s giving Sunoo far too much credit; he could be just like Sunghoon. And in that case, they’re quite literally perfect for each other.
“He said okay, if I were to quote him,” his friend smiles, looking proud. His incisors make their signature appearance, too. “I’m gonna get a boyfriend, Jakey.”
“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” Jake warns, just because he knows how Sunghoon is. “Congratulations in advance, though.” And because he knows how Sunghoon is, he knows that his determination gets him places — it’s how he managed to get this date in the first place. It’s also probably going to be how he manages to become Sunoo’s boyfriend too, eventually.
Sunghoon beams, looking satisfied. It’s a good look on him. Jake hasn’t seen his friend this happy in months. Fruitless job searching will do that to a person, he supposes.
Sunghoon looks like he wants to say something more. Jake will never know what it is though, since his office door swings open, yet again.
And this time, it’s actually who Jake expects it to be.
“Hyung, you can’t be in here,” Jake says for the nth time. He knows that the only reason Heeseung doesn’t listen is because he knows he can get away with it. And Jake is completely to blame for that.
“Scurry out of here, Park,” Heeseung tells Sunghoon, completely ignoring what Jake says. “I have matters to discuss with President Sim.”
“We were in the middle of something,” Sunghoon frowns, looking at Heeseung challengingly. “And you’re not even supposed to be in here.”
“Technically, neither of you are supposed to be in here,” Jake pipes up. He stands up from his chair, and levels Heeseung with a look. “What do you want? Can’t it wait until I’m done working?”
“It pertains to my graduation,” the older says. Jake’s eyes widen, and he thinks he sees Sunghoon’s eyes widen too, out of his peripheral vision. Heeseung just looks victorious — like he knows he’s managed to win the privilege of staying in the office. “So it’s a bit, hm… pressing.”
“I’ll call you tonight, Hoon,” Jake dismisses easily.
Sunghoon whips around to look at him immediately, betrayal painted across every inch of his face. “Are you serious?”
“I’ll call you, Hoon,” Jake repeats, this time stern. It clearly gets the message across: Sunghoon glares at him for a second before haughtily standing up and stalking towards the door. “Get home safe.”
“Fuck you, man,” is all his best friend says in return, before waving goodbye and leaving while shutting the door behind him.
Now that they’re alone, Heeseung perches himself on the corner of Jake’s desk, staring down at the miscellaneous scattered papers.
“Are you worried about not meeting credit requirements?” Jake asks, pulling up Heeseung’s student profile on his monitor as he speaks. “The second semester hasn’t started yet, so I can still pull a few strings for you—”
“I didn’t come here to talk about my graduation,” Heeseung cuts off.
Jake pauses his actions. “Huh?”
“I just needed Sunghoon to leave,” the older smiles. He turns around, swinging his legs over Jake’s desk, until they’re facing each other. “I also just wanted to see you.”
Jake fingers leave his keyboard, and he falls back into his chair. He looks at Heeseung incredulously, mildly annoyed that he has to tilt his head up since the other is sitting on his desk.
“You have to stop wanting to see me when I’m working. How do you even manage to get in here all the time?”
“It’s easy when you don’t really look like a student,” he shrugs. Heeseung is staring, Jake knows, because his eyes haven’t left his face the entire time they’ve been talking. Heeseung looks contemplative, before surprising Jake by asking, “When’s Jay getting here?”
“Jay’s done for the day,” Jake shakes his head.
“Oh?” Heeseung muses. He hooks his foot around the armrest of Jake’s chair, pulling him closer to the desk. “So it’s just you and I?”
“Don’t,” Jake warns, squinting his eyes at the older. He knows Heeseung far too well by now to know that he’s not thinking of anything innocent right now. He never really is, when the prospect of being alone together presents itself. “This is literally where I work.”
It’s not like that’d incentivize Heeseung against whatever it is he’s thinking right now, but Jake still thinks that it’s worth a shot. It’s not like they haven’t done things in this very office before, anyways… not that he’d ever tell Jay that, obviously. Or anyone else for that matter — he could literally get fired.
“And? You can lock the door,” Heeseung smiles. He leans down (Jake is convinced that it’s an uncomfortable posture for his back) until their faces are really close together. “C’mon, darling. I missed you.”
“That’s a new one,” Jake mumbles. He meant just to think about it, but obviously he let the words slip out of his mouth without thinking twice about it.
“You like it?” Heeseung looks smug as he asks, and Jake has come to accept that it’s just a face which Heeseung wears around him more often than not.
“It’s alright,” he banters back, just because he can’t ever let Heeseung have the upper hand for too long. “Are you going to lock the door?”
Heeseung grins like a cheshire cat — like he’s won, and like he’s victorious, yet again. Jake guesses it isn’t too far off from the truth.
“Anything for you,” the older tells him, hopping off his desk and making his way over to the office door just to lock it. As he saunters back, Jake sees a familiar look take over his features. It’s the same one he sees on Heeseung’s face when it’s been a while since they saw each other. It’s a bit of a weird look to have right now, given the fact that they saw each other yesterday.
“What’d you have in mind when you came here?” he asks just as Heeseung settles next to his desk again. He doesn’t sit down this time, but he does assess the space between Jake’s chair and his desk.
“You,” he shrugs, using his foot to push Jake’s chair back just a little bit. Until there’s enough space for a person — which Heeseung then proceeds to occupy by getting down on his knees. “Today was the worst day ever, Jaeyun-ah.”
It’s not often that Heeseung calls him by his Korean name — actually, Jake is pretty sure that he can count one all ten of his fingers the amount of times that’s actually happened. After all, Heeseung is usually calling him all sorts of other names when they’re together.
“Yeah?” Jake entertains, spreading his legs open a bit further, because he’s not dense. He knows where this is going, as it’s pretty fucking obvious from the way Heeseung keeps running his palms up and down his thighs. The least the younger can do is make things a bit more comfortable for the other.
“All I could think about was seeing you once it was over,” Heeseung admits. It’s a bit of a jarring thing to say, especially in their current position. But Jake takes it in stride — he can tell by the other’s voice that he’s being honest, after all.
“You’re here now,” he placates, since it’s the first thing that comes to mind. He adds to it right after though, with, “I’m here now.”
“Yeah,” Heeseung sighs, and Jake thinks he’s crazy for deducing that Heeseung sounds like he’s relieved as he speaks. Maybe it’s all in Jake’s head — or maybe, Heeseung really is relieved to be here. “Can I… ?”
And maybe Jake shouldn’t be too shocked to hear the almost pleading edge to Heeseung’s subtle question, not with the way he’s been acting ever since he came into his office. Yet still, he’s a bit taken aback.
Heeseung always asks before doing something, sure, but this time he sounds like he might burst into tears if Jake says no. And it’s a stupid thing to think, but Jake doesn’t think it’s far off from the truth, especially not with the way the older’s eyes look round and shiny as he looks up at Jake.
It reminds the younger that he should probably answer.
“Yeah,” he breathes out, releasing a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. “It's okay.” And then, because he apparently can’t help it, “You’re so cute.”
Heeseung scoffs right into his skin. Well, the small amount of skin that’s exposed to the air from Jake's pants and underwear is pulled down just below his ass.
“Is cute really the word you’re going to use now?”
“Sorry,” Jake grins playfully, and he thinks they both know that he doesn’t mean it. And apologies have no place in the air between them when Heeseung mouth is five centimetres away from his rapidly hardening dick. “You look good like this, hyung.”
Heeseung hums something sounding like agreement. He reaches a hand out to wrap his fingers around Jake’s cock, slowly dragging up and down, mindful of how dry the slide is. Heeseung doesn’t look like he has anything more to say, so Jake doesn’t say anything either. The older looks like he’s rather focused, and it wouldn’t benefit anyone if Jake were to interrupt that.
It’s easy to keep his eyes on Heeseung because the latter isn’t looking back at him. For reasons unknown, Jake would probably feel too embarrassed to stare if Heeseung was staring back: Jake has always felt a bit too much under the other’s gaze, as it were. But like this, he’s free to stare to his heart's content, and so that’s what he does.
He drinks in the sight in front of him, and everything about the perfect picture Heeseung makes, on his knees between his legs. His hair is unkempt, but he’s shaven today. Jake knows Heeseung’s face to the point that he can identify that the state of his stubble right now means that he had shaved this morning. Maybe it’s a redundant thing to know and take note of, but it’s just another thing that Jake has learned about the older, whether he knew he was picking up on it or not.
Jake’s thoughts are interrupted by Heeseung’s warm, slightly chapped lips wrapping around the head of his cock. His breath catches in his throat, and he finds his hands holding onto the armrests of his chair so that he has something to ground him.
Heeseung has his eyes closed; Jake can count his eyelashes, if he wants to. But that’s not really on his mind right now, since he’s focusing more on the sensation of Heeseung’s tongue teasingly licking over the slit of his cock.
“Hyung,” Jake gets out, his voice trembling only slightly. He hopes Heeseung isn’t able to pick up on it. “Don’t tease me.”
Heeseung’s response is to let his teeth lightly nip at the sensitive skin of his length. Jake yelps, but it dissolves into a complete, guttural moan when Heeseung slides more of his cock into his mouth. It’s hot and wet, and Jake finds his hands gripping onto the armrests tighter.
The older then begins to move his head up and down, his mouth moving along the length of Jake’s cock. His tongue is continuously gliding along the veins on the underside of his cock with practiced, efficient ease. A part of Jake swells with pride knowing that Heeseung isn’t just good at sucking dick; he’s good at sucking Jake’s dick. Practice makes perfect, or something like that.
As if he can read Jake’s mind, Heeseung decides to show off by taking even more of Jake down his throat. His length is practically all engulfed in Heeseung’s mouth, and the sight of Heeseung deepthroating his cock so well makes his arousal bubble even more rapidly in his gut. His nerve endings begin to feel like they’re on fire, especially with the way the tip of his cock can now hit the back of Heeseung’s throat.
But Heeseung doesn’t gag — again, because he’s good at this. He just focuses on regulating his breathing, even humming around Jake’s length because he knows that it’s just another stimulator which puts Jake on edge.
“Hyung,” Jake rasps out, sounding only a little broken this time. He tries to clear his throat, but he can’t because he moans instead. “G-Good. You’re good, hyung,” he whines. Jake’s knuckles are white from how hard he’s gripping onto the armrests. “Close.”
Jake used to be embarrassed about how quick Heeseung could make him come: and then he realized that there’s nothing really too embarrassing about being so helplessly attracted to someone. Heeseung doesn’t even make fun of him for it, he just takes it as an ego boost, which Jake supposes that it is.
Hearing that Jake’s orgasm is impending, Heeseung works harder. He suctions his lips tighter, and he bobs his head up and down faster. He finally opens his eyes again too, and looks directly into Jake’s own. The latter feels like his cheeks are on fire: he’d been caught staring.
There’s a warning on the tip of his tongue, one to let Heeseung know that he’s going to come, like, right fucking now, but it dies on his tongue because one of Heeseung’s hands slide up until they find Jake’s own. The older uncurls Jake’s fingers from around the armrest, just to intertwine their own together. Like this, Jake can feel Heeseung’s pulse, and he wants to cry when he realizes that it’s just as erratic as his own.
Jake feels like he’s burning up, and the only thing that can ground him is his newfound grip on Heeseung’s hand. He subconsciously pulls on it, and he only has half the mind to realize that this position can’t possibly be comfortable for Heeseung. But the latter doesn’t seem to mind, only squeezing Jake’s hand softly, encouraging him to let go.
Jake’s chest is rising and falling rapidly, and it only seems to get worse when he finally comes: he’s panting, and he thinks his heart skips a couple beats too many. He’d be worried about being too loud if he didn’t know that the office is in a secluded wing, and that no one is supposed to be around anyways.
Heeseung slows down as he lets Jake ride out the waves of his orgasm, not too keen on overstimulating him. Jake appreciates it: he might’ve actually started crying if Heeseung didn’t take mercy on him.
Jake relaxes his body, letting all the tension bleed out of his muscles as he catches his breath. His fingers untense in Heeseung’s hold, but he doesn’t make a move to let go. Neither does the older. Jake watches with slightly blurry vision as Heeseung pulls off his softening cock.
They’re still staring directly at each other when Jake’s whispers, hoarsely, “Swallow.” And of course, Heeseung listens. He even makes a show about making sure the bob of his Adam’s apple is prominent as he swallows, maintaining eye contact the entire time. “Fuck,” Jake whimpers, and then finds himself sliding out of the chair before he can help it.
His dick is still out, and his pants are still pulled down, but that’s the least of his worries as he joins Heeseung on the floor and kisses him messily. He misses Heeseung’s lips entirely the first time, ending up only kissing the corner of his mouth. But Heeseung cups his face before the second kiss, and this time their mouths are meeting properly, and Jake can eagerly lick into his mouth like he’s been wanting to.
“You’re perfect,” Jake mutters, just for Heeseung to chuckle. He tastes like Jake’s cum — and yeah. Of course he’s fucking perfect. Jake weaves a hand between their bottles, his fingers settling on the older’s belt buckle.
“It’s okay,” Heeseung says against his mouth. One of his hands drops from Jake’s face to stop his hand. When the younger breaks their kiss to look at him confusedly, Heeseung only smiles softly and shakes his head. “I came here because I wanted you. It’s okay, babe.”
Unsure of what exactly to say to that, Jake just nods slowly, before leaning in for another kiss. This one is much softer than the previous ones, and the younger lets himself melt completely into Heeseung’s body. Even if they are just on the floor, and his dick is getting cold.
“Better day now?” Jake asks. He’s sure he’s leaned too much of his weight onto Heeseung, but the latter doesn’t show that he minds. Instead, he just wraps his arms around Jake’s middle to keep him close, and leans his cheek on the top of his head.
“Of course, after seeing you,” he replies sleazily. Well, maybe it would’ve been sleazy if Jake was hearing Heeseung say this three months ago; now, he just feels warm and content.
“D’you wanna talk about it?” Jake asks after a while. Usually, they don’t really talk about things that are worth talking about — but lately, something inside Jake has been itching to change that. He won’t look into what that means just now, but he still asks.
Heeseung mumbles something as a response, but since his face is still smushed against the top of Jake’s head, the latter doesn’t really get it. “Hm? What’d you say?”
“Botcheddate,” he repeats. Still, the words almost sound slurred together. But this time, Jake is able to make them out. And he stills completely against Heeseung once he does.
“What?” he asks, leaning back and dislodging Heeseung’s head in the process. He looks up at the older, feeling something akin to annoyance simmering inside of him when he sees the confused furrow between Heeseung’s brows. How many times were they going to have this conversation? “You went on a date? Just before coming here?”
“I didn’t even want to go,” Heeseung insists. It almost sounds like he’s whining. Jake is suddenly very aware of how his cock is still out of his pants — he lets go of Heeseung to tuck himself back in. “My mom was setting me up on a blind date—”
“Your mom is setting you up on dates?” Jake gapes. His head is beginning to hurt — was Heeseung just never going to tell him any of this?
“This is the first one,” Heeseung placates. As if placating would even work right now, or make things sound any better — Jake feels like he’s about to suffocate. “I think Jay put the idea into her head by asking if she knew who I was dating.”
Jake’s mind is reeling. Half of him can’t even comprehend that this conversation is real and happening right now.
“You can’t…” Jake blinks, the reality of everything finally dawning on him. Heeseung had said he wanted him. But he wanted him after a date gone wrong. Heeseung said he wanted to see him. But the knowledge of what Heeseung had been up to before coming here just makes dread pile up in Jake’s stomach. “You can’t do that.”
Almost expectedly, Heeseung’s eyebrows furrow again. Frustration also begins bubbling beneath the surface of Jake’s skin: does Heeseung not even get it? Does he really not realize what’s wrong?
“You can’t show up here after you were just with someone else,” Jake iterates.
“I wasn’t with someone else,” the older explains. “It’s not like the date meant anything to me.”
Jake’s not sure if he says that to make things better or worse. Who’s to say Jake means anything to him, then? Who’s to say that Jake ever has?
“And me? You can see other people, but I can’t?” The look in Heeseung’s eyes shifts almost immediately. It goes from being something Jake is usually able to recognize into something that he’s been seeing more often than not: the unreadable look which frustrates him to no end.
Heeseung sounds stony as he looks icy when he says, slow as ever, “I never said you couldn’t see other people.”
Jake’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach: half in realization that Heeseung is right, and half in realization of something else.
It dawns on Jake that Heeseung has probably thought like this during the entire length of whatever they have going on. It also dawns on him that Heeseung might’ve never thought they were exclusive — and the worst part is that somewhere along the way, Jake had led himself to believe that they were exclusive.
For the past few months, he hasn’t even realized that he hasn’t been looking at anyone else, knowing that he has Heeseung at his beck and call. It never occurred to him that Heeseung was thinking in a different way. For all Jake knows, Heeseung could’ve been dating regularly. He already knows very well that the other doesn’t tell him everything — these past few weeks have just been a testament of that, he’s been finding out information at the hands of Jay, after all.
“Get out,” Jake tells Heeseung, even. His voice doesn’t tremble, despite how Jake can feel his fingers begin to. He pushes himself up to his feet in hopes of Heeseung not catching note of the trembles.
“Jaeyun—” His name has never sounded so unnerving coming from Heeseung’s mouth.
“Get. Out,” he repeats, almost seething this time. He doesn’t care anymore if he’s behaving in a way Heeseung doesn’t understand: all Heeseung has been doing lately is behaving in a way Jake doesn’t understand, after all.
Maybe it’s the tone of his voice. Or maybe it’s the way Jake isn’t even looking at Heeseung anymore. Whichever one it is, Heeseung seems to heed him seriously, as he too gets up from the floor.
He doesn’t turn around to leave immediately, yet he doesn’t say anything as he watches Jake. The latter has his back turned to him, because he doesn’t think he can look at Heeseung without wanting to say something more: and the possibility of him saying the wrong thing is far too high.
So, he keeps his back turned as he listens to Heeseung walk away, listens to him unlock the office door, and listens to him leave while shutting the door behind him. Jake waits until he’s counted to sixty before releasing a shuddering breath, and sinking down to squat, suddenly overwhelmed.
He pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes, and finds himself blinking back the moisture he didn’t even know was accumulating behind his eyelids. This is not a crying matter.
Heeseung is not a crying matter.
»«
The next two weeks pass by like a blur. Jake has so much work piling up that he doesn’t even realize time is passing by as quickly as it is. He gets to the office when the sun comes up, and he leaves in the dead hours of the night, when even campus has managed to fizzle out most of the lingering student body.
He’s lucky if he can squeeze in seeing Sunghoon every couple days — which is non-negotiable, apparently, because Sunghoon insists that he has news to share every couple of days. Ironically, it’s never to share news about finally acquiring a job, but Jake digresses. He’s staring joblessness dead in the eye after this academic year is over, anyways. It’s likely that Sunghoon’s going to be employed before he is, at this point.
Currently, Jake is unsurprisingly in the office. He’s supposed to be taking a self-imposed break, but since it’s self-imposed, it’s not a real break. He’s organizing his email while on the phone with Sunghoon, anxiously checking the clock every few minutes to make sure he doesn’t lose track of time.
“I think I’m going to ask the question. On our next date. Yeah. Yep,” Sunghoon’s staticky voice rings through the room. Jake has him on speaker — he made Jay go home early tonight too. Sometimes Jake is jealous of the fact that Jay can go home early on most nights: all the work he finishes gets passed onto Jake for approval, after all. He’s always able to clock out early. Other times, Jake appreciates the alone time to get things done. “Or is it too soon? We’ve only been on four dates. What if he rejects me? I might throw up if he—”
“Hoon, if he didn’t already like you, he wouldn’t have gone on four dates with you,” Jake tells his best friend, interrupting the beginnings of his spiral of self-deprecating thoughts before they, you know. Spiral. “I’m sure Kim Sunoo will say yes to being your boyfriend.”
“You’re supposed to say that, you’re my best friend!” Sunghoon whines.
Jake snorts, unable to help himself. “And as your best friend, I’m also not supposed to lie to you. Relax, man.”
“I can’t relax,” Sunghoon stresses. Jake can practically see him gnawing on his lip as a stress habit. “This is like. A big deal. What if I end up marrying this guy?”
“Sunghoon, no one’s talking about marriage,” Jake laughs heartily this time. He almost forgets that there’s a pile of work waiting for him at the end of this conversation. But for now, he enjoys the simplicity of just talking to his best friend about trivial things. “You’re allowed to just date the guy.”
“My mom’s been on my ass about getting married, dude,” Sunghoon tells him, suddenly sounding much more serious than he was a couple seconds ago. “I don’t even have a job, Jakey, how am I supposed to attract a mate without the prospects?”
Jake scrunches his nose. “First of all, you’re gonna stop talking like that. Second of all, you’re not gonna worry about getting married, man. You’re twenty-two years old. Your mom is only on your ass because that’s what moms do.” For a second, Jake thinks about Heeseung: he’s in a similar boat, with his mother setting him up on dates and stuff. But as quickly as the thought infiltrates his mind, Jake shakes it out. He has no reason to think about Heeseung right now.
He hasn’t even reached out to him once since the last time they saw each other. “Mine is also eating me alive about putting my expensive ass degree to use.”
“Do not remind me about job searching,” Sunghoon groans. He sounds pitiful, but Jake sympathizes with him: he sounds as pitiful as Jake feels. “This economy sucks, y’know? Don’t they want people to contribute to society? How am I supposed to do that when connections and nepotism are the only things that get you a job? And why the fuck is the cost of living so high?”
If Jake wanted, he knows that he and Sunghoon could stay talking about this miserable topic for hours. They’ve done that already countless times.
“Yeah, I know. Life is miserable. Listen, my break is up,” he tells Sunghoon, hearing the latter sigh through the phone. “You should come over this weekend. Jay is going home, so I’ll have the place to myself.”
“I’ll see. Depends on if Sunoo has something planned or not.”
“Oh right, you’re a big shot now. Dating and all,” Jake teases lightheartedly, smiling smally when he hears his friend laugh over the phone. “Let me know. I gotta go now.”
“Don’t work too hard, Mr President,” Sunghoon tells him, and then hangs up. He leaves Jake in silence, where the only sound filling up the room is the ticking of the clock.
Jake sighs, rolls his shoulders, and sits up straighter in his chair. Life really is miserable, huh?
He realizes only now that the only thing that would make the mundane repetition of day to day life bearable were Heeseung’s impromptu, unprecedented, and risky office visits. His random texts throughout the day which were either consisting of sleazy (yet terribly endearing) pick up lines asking Jake if he wanted to hang out, or memes he found which weren’t really funny, but Jake still pretended to like anyways. Or the way he’d manage to shoo Jay out of the office just so that he’d have ten minutes alone with Jake to make out, under the guise of discussing something important.
Jake wonders if Heeseung is still on track to graduate. He knows that it’s only been two weeks since he spoke to the older, but he also knows that Heeseung can easily fall into destructive habits within short periods of time. Jake also knows that if he’s so curious, he can just pull up Heeseung’s student record, and see where he’s standing for himself.
But even if he is that curious, he shouldn’t be. And even if he did care about whether or not Heeseung really was going to make the third time the charm, he knows he shouldn’t.
Heeseung hasn’t even tried to talk to him in two weeks. Jake told him to get out of his office, and he walked out of his life. Jake hasn’t gone this long with radio silence from Heeseung since he’s met him, and he hates that he hates it. He hates that it feels wrong, and he hates that things with Heeseung used to feel right.
Jake wants to know if he’s the only one who’s been feeling like this—despite having an inkling towards the answer—but he doesn’t want to reach out to Heeseung if the latter isn’t thinking of him at all. Clearly, the silence should be a sign.
Jake doesn’t know why it’s such a hard sign to read, then. It’s a hard pill to swallow, to think that maybe Heeseung had been grateful for Jake finally drawing a line, since it meant that he no longer had to make time for him.
Jake wonders if he felt like a chore to Heeseung. But he cuts that line of thought short, since as much as thinking about Heeseung makes him feel cold and weird, he doesn’t want to make things up about him. Speculating does no one any good.
Jake should just forget about all of this and finish his work: it’s dark outside, and he just wants to go home, where he can lay in bed and pretend like there aren’t a million things in his mind which need to be dealt with.
First things first, though. Jake cracks his knuckles, and begins working through the last pile of work he’s sectioned off to complete today.
He hopes that’s Sunghoon’s fifth date with Sunoo goes well. For both of their sakes.
“Can you tie my tie for me?”
“You don’t know how to tie a tie?” Jay asks, as if it was common knowledge for everyone to know. Jake never learned because he always had his brother tie one for him when he needed to wear one. If it wasn’t necessary, then he just didn’t wear a tie. But today, opting out of wearing one wasn’t an option. The entire student council has a meeting with the new set of university investors today: the ones who want to donate far too many millions of dollars into developing a new building on campus for the faculty of engineering.
The Dean has been particularly expectant of Jake for this one.
“It’s not a necessary life skill, no,” Jake tells his roommate, walking further into his room and handing his tie to Jay when the latter beckons for him to come inside. “Not all of us grew up going to golf clubs.”
“Not everyone wears a tie to a golf club,” Jay says easily, but he leaves it at that. Jake is grateful — he wouldn’t have understood if Jay had continued to talk about golf clubs in detail. “Are you ready for the meeting?”
“I’m never ready for any meetings, bro, you know this.” Jay smiles wryly, like he’d been expecting the answer. Jake pointedly tries not to look at him as he pops his collar and loops the tie around his neck.
“It was worth a shot. Do you at least know what you’re going to say?”
“What’s there to say? My job is to butter them up and get their money,” Jake scoffs, to which Jay finally cracks an actual smile. As in, one where Jake can see his teeth. How does Jay get his teeth so white? Jake should ask him that soon. He grunts when Jay tugs on his tie, tying the first knot. “Be gentle with me, will you? I’m your President.”
“You sound like hyung,” Jay snickers, though he is a bit gentler with the next knot he ties. He even sounds careful as he asks, “Have you two not been talking? Hyung was asking me about you the other day.”
Jake pretends like he isn’t affected by Jay’s words, and he hopes he looks that way too. It’s a desperate hope though, since his face is literally ten centimetres away from Jay’s, and he can feel the other’s eyes boring into his skull. Jay should learn about the art of subtlety.
“I’ve been busy,” Jake shrugs, answering vaguely. “We’ve been busy. Y’know how it’s been, man.”
Jay hums, but Jake can see that his eyes are calculating, yet again. He can also tell that he’s beginning to move his fingers slower, as if stalling so that Jake couldn’t run away from the conversation. Jake admits that it’s smart: Jay holding his tie serves as a leash, almost.
“I haven’t figured out who he’s dating,” he says out of nowhere. Jay hasn’t mentioned his investigation about Heeseung's love life in a while, but Jake appreciates this tidbit of information which lets him at least know that the investigation is still ongoing.
“It’s five-thirty in the morning, Jay,” Jake sighs. “Way too early to have this conversation.”
“I’m just letting you know,” the other explains innocently. Jake has a feeling Jay knows what he’s doing; but he doesn’t let that show to Jay. They can both read between the lines, if that’s the route his roommate chose. “I don’t even think he is dating someone, at this point.”
I could’ve told you that weeks ago, Jake thinks. He knows wiser than to say it out loud though. He has no idea how much Jay knows about anything pertaining to his relationship with Heeseung. And now that he thinks about it, he has no idea if Jay has known everything from the beginning, all along, and has just chosen to give Jake privacy about it. He knows that Heeseung and Jay are close, but Heeseung had mentioned it himself that they should keep things just between the two of them.
Though, maybe Heeseung had come clean to Jay about everything after that night in the office. Maybe he took it as a sign that things were over.
Jake swallows the sudden lump in his throat, blinking himself back to present time. He thinks of something to reply to Jay with before the silence between them can grow into something suspicious.
“Sorry you wasted your time,” he ends up saying, lamely. Internally, Jake winces. There were probably a hundred other things he could’ve said…
“Oh, I dunno if this was a waste,” Jay shakes his head. He finally finishes tying Jake’s tie, adjusting the knot until it’s comfortable and secure. He folds Jake’s collar back down, and then takes a step back. Jake thinks that when Jay smiles, his roommate wants him to read between the lines yet again. “I learned that hyung is pretty fucking stupid. So, that’s always something.”
Jake could've also told Jay that weeks ago. Though, he has a feeling that Jay already knew about that, too.
“He really isn’t that dating that sophomore, Jay,” Jake finds himself saying, for reasons unbeknownst to even him. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut — but what’s done is done. He already said it. “Hyung’s fucked up, but he’s not that fucked up.”
Jay snorts, puttering around his room as he collects a few last minute items he needs, shoving them in his pockets. “Heeseung hyung is beyond fucked up,” he states, as if it were a well known fact. Jake wouldn’t necessarily say that Heeseung is beyond fucked up, but there are probably a million things that Jay is privy to that Jake is not.
Jay turns to look at him again, and when he smiles, Jake can tell that he barely means it. “I mean, you would know, wouldn’t you? You and hyung have been fucking, for like, months.”
Jake blanches. Like, literally. He can feel all the blood drain from his face, and he can feel a bad taste begin crawling up the back of his throat. When Jake said he had a feeling Jay knew, he didn’t know he’d actually confront him about it. Maybe Heeseung, sure, but what would Jay have to say to him?
“Don’t look at me like that,” the other rolls his eyes, and then nudges past Jake and exits his own room. “We’re gonna be late, man.”
“I don’t—” Jake begins, but then has to swallow a wad of spit down his throat because he realizes that he’s choked up. He doesn’t know what to say to Jay — what is someone even supposed to say in a situation like that? “Listen—”
“I don’t want to know,” Jay cuts off, shuddering. “You do you, Jake. I just wish you would’ve told me so that I could’ve told you not to.”
“Not to?” Jake repeats, distressed. He has half an idea of what Jay is talking about, but he still doesn’t know for sure if they’re talking about the same thing. “Why not?”
Jake follows Jay out of the latter’s room, until they’re slipping into their shoes and getting ready to leave. The look Jay levels him with is so reminiscent of pity that it makes Jake want to curl up and hide under his blanket for the rest of forever.
But he can’t do that. He has a meeting to handle.
“I think you know why, dude,” Jay smiles, and it almost looks like one out of sympathy. “Heeseung hyung has the emotional range and capacity of a teaspoon. It’s likely that he’s not being honest with you.”
And if that isn’t the last thing Jake wanted to hear right now, then he doesn’t know what is. Another lump makes itself present in his throat, and Jake finds himself having to swallow it down — he doesn’t have time for this.
He never has time for any of this. Jake is busy. He has work to do today, and he has to do it well.
Despite knowing all of that though, Jake can’t shake the lingering effect of Jay’s words out of his head. Jake had his fair share of assumptions, but it’s more than likely that Jay isn’t referencing any of that when he said that Heeseung wasn’t being honest.
No matter how many conclusions Jake comes to in his own head on their way to the meeting, he still can’t answer just what Heeseung is hiding from him.
»«
Unsurprisingly, Jake is in his office way past dinner time, for the nth occurrence this week. And to no one’s surprise, he’s already sent Jay home, too. Not without the latter’s displeasure with the decision though. Jay had tried to convince him to call it a night too, but Jake had won that argument in the end, claiming that if he leaves things for tomorrow, his work will pile into something overwhelming and unbearable.
Jay told him dinner would be ready for him, whenever he decided to come home. Jake had sent his roommate off with a tired smile after that, before pouring himself into the rest of the tasks he had to get done tonight.
Opening his desk drawer in order to retrieve a pen, Jake’s fingers bump into something else, distinctly foreign. With his eyebrows furrowed, he looks down and sees that what he’s picked up isn’t a pen, but a cigarette.
Chesterfield. Like the one he confiscated from Heeseung weeks ago, and has yet to throw away.
Jake doesn’t know why he hasn’t discarded the cigarette by now. It’s not like he’s going to give it back to Heeseung, or something. The latter has an abundance of Chesterfield cigarettes, and it’s not like he’ll be missing this one. He’ll also only try to smoke it in the office again if Jake gives it back to him, so it’s a bit redundant.
What’s also redundant is thinking about Heeseung in this moment: thinking of the other man won’t do anything but make Jake want to burrow under his blankets. Which just isn’t an option right now, not with all the work that he’s been ignoring for the past five minutes.
Five minutes is a lot of precious time. Jake shouldn’t be so lax with it.
Just as he thinks this, there’s a knock on his door.
“Come in.”
Jake isn’t expecting anyone, but who he really isn’t expecting is the student council’s treasurer. Jake was sure that up until an hour ago, he and Jay were the only ones occupying this wing of the building. And Jake should be here alone now, so the last person he thought he’d see tonight is Kai.
“Hey?” Jake greets, unable to keep the questioning out of his tone. He watches as Kai smiles, clearly picking up on his tone, and as he walks closer to the desk. “What’s up? It’s late.”
“I should be telling you that, Mr President,” Kai clicks his tongue, and then deposits something right onto Jake’s desk. The latter hadn’t even realized that he was carrying something this entire time. “I have a present for you.”
“More work is not a present, Mr Huening,” Jake chides, only half joking. The other half of his tone is dripping with what’s most likely exhaustion, since Kai’s smile turns sympathetic. “What’d you bring me?”
“Our budget from the last quarter, and our statements from the past month. I finished our books and records too, but I can’t put them away until you take a look,” Kai tells him. Jake gives him the benefit of the doubt for at least sounding like he’s sorry to actually dump more work onto him. “Just to make it easier for you though, I already went over them twice. I don’t think I missed anything.”
“Thank you,” he says. And he means it — it’s a small gesture, but it’s appreciated. Kai has always been so nice. “And go home. It’s late, Kai. I didn't know you were still here.”
“I just needed to get that off my to-do list, but I’ll be on my way out now,” he assures Jake. He then casts a short glance over the other folders Jake has scattered along his desk, before rapping his knuckles against his desk a couple times. “You smoke?”
Jake is confused for all of a couple seconds after hearing the question. He follows where Kai’s eyes are looking, and once again sees the cigarette next to his hand. He must’ve forgotten to put it away, or toss it in the garbage.
Either way, “Oh. No. It’s not mine,” Jake offers, smile tight. Kai hums, but seems like he doesn’t have anything else to say to that. Jake appreciates it. “Anyways. Please, don’t stay here any longer than you need to.”
Kai goes back to beaming. Jake likes that look better than when he’s asking questions Jake doesn’t know how to answer. “You too, Jaeyun. Wrap up soon.”
“I’ll do my best,” Jake hums. He means to tell Kai goodnight next, and to send him off with a ‘get home safe.’ But before he can, he hears footsteps begin stalking down the hallway, getting closer and closer to the office door with every step. Once again, Jake is confused, given the late hour. “Is someone else still working?”
“The other offices had their lights off when I was on my way here,” Kai mutters, probably just as curious as Jake himself is.
Jake gives it another two seconds of just listening to the ominous sound to approaching footsteps before he gets up from his seat. By the time he rounds his desk, someone is swinging the ajar office door all the way open.
And ironically, it’s just who Jake thought it’d be. The only person who ever comes into this office as if it were his too.
With messy, tangled hair and an outfit that doesn’t look coordinated at all, Heeseung whips around to glare at Kai first thing after stepping foot into the office. “I need to talk to the President.”
Hearing his voice is what snaps Jake out of just staring. There’s a time and place for everything, and this is most definitely neither of them.
“Not at 10:00 PM you don’t,” Jake glares. Unnervingly, Heeseung doesn’t turn to look at him even when he speaks. Instead, he’s looking at Kai expectantly, and has been since he stepped foot in here. “Heeseung-ssi—”
Maybe it’s the wrong thing to say. But if Heeseung wanted to act like a stranger for the past three weeks, then Jake is going to treat him like a stranger too. He can see that the other doesn’t like the sound of such a formal title falling off Jake’s tongue at all though, since his eye twitches minutely before he’s narrowing them both nto something much too icy to be looking at Kai with.
“Well? You can leave me,” he tells Kai.
Jake stalks up to them, his blood boiling in his veins. Jay was right — Heeseung is fucked up.
“Do not talk to Kai like that,” Jake warns, sounding just as cold, if not colder, than the look in Heeseung’s eyes. He spends a good couple seconds more just glaring at the older, before turning around to face Kai. On the inside, he feels rather embarrassed that his treasurer had to witness all of this, but he tries not to let that show on his face. “I’m sorry. I—I’ll deal with him. Just… go home. Get home safe.”
Kai looks all too eager to be dismissed. He nods his head rapidly, and tries his best to offer Jake a comforting smile, because he’s Kai, so of course he does.
“Yeah. Thanks, Jaeyun.” Kai turns to leave, and so Jake turns around to assess Heeseung with his own two eyes before deciding what he needs to say.
And of course the sight he’s greeted with us Heeseung trying to light a cigarette. His ministrations pause halfway through, whipping his head around to glare, again, at Kai’s retreating figure.
“Jaeyun?” Heeseung repeats. “That’s President Sim or boss, to you,” he says sternly. Far too sternly for Jake’s liking. His tone paired with the cigarette between his lips and the lighter in his hand makes Jake see red, almost.
“You can’t fucking do that in here,” he hisses, iterating the same rule for the nth time. Jake pulls the cigarette out from between Heeseung’s lips, like he’s done far too many times before. Briefly, he hears the office door shut, and he’s grateful that Kai had just left before Heeseung could implicate him in unnecessary ways. “If you want to smoke, feel free to leave.”
Jake doesn’t say anything else before rounding his desk, and finding his seat yet again. Heeseung’s presence is large and looming in the closed confines of his office — just like it’s always been — but Jake can’t do anything about it just now.
He’s not going to abandon all the work he’s been slaving over for the past five hours just because Heeseung decides that he actually wants to talk to him, after three weeks. If he can keep Jake waiting for almost a month, then Jake can keep Heeseung waiting until he’s done with his work.
The older seems to clock in on what Jake is doing too, since he sits down on the chair in front of Jake’s desk. His leg is bouncing up and down, and he’s jittery as he takes a seat.
Jake knows he’s jittery because he’s itching for a smoke. And he’d feel bad about it if just the sight of Heeseung right now didn’t make him feel a concoction of different, unwanted emotions.
But, he’s still human. He’s human, and he’s Jake, which means he’s weak against Heeseung and everything the latter stands for. Not Jake’s proudest attribute, but one he finds himself staying honest to time and time again, nonetheless.
He opens one of the small drawers in his desk, and fishes out a lollipop. Unlike usual, he doesn’t mind what flavour he’s picking up as he tosses it to Heeseung. Probably with more force than necessary, but whatever. Heeseung catches it, and while Jake can feel the older’s eyes on him, he doesn’t pay it any kind as he keeps his eyes downcast, focused on finishing his work.
Heeseung’s boots are heavy, and all the zippers on his jacket are undone. He’s noisy as Jake tries to finish his work, and it doesn’t help that he’s definitely, purposefully making sounds with his mouth while sucking on the lollipop between his lips. It’s all too reminiscent of what happened the last time they were alone in his office together.
Jake only lasts twenty-five minutes before slamming his pen down onto a stack of documents he has to sign and approve, glaring at Heeseung. Of course, the older is already looking at him.
“Nice. Are you done?” Heeseung asks, shoving the lollipop right into one of his cheeks, and raising an inquisitive eyebrow at the younger.
Jake debates the very real consequences of committing murder on university property.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he seethes. “Nice? What do you want?”
Heeseung doesn’t answer with words. He doesn’t say anything at all, really, and all he does is crush the candy between his back teeth. He always does that when he decides he’s done with his candy — whereas Jake lets it all dissolve onto his tongue until there’s nothing but the stick left in his mouth.
Sometimes, Jake realizes that even within small details like that, he and Heeseung are so different. He wonders if it’s that they’re far too different, but then has to account for what is considered to be far too different.
Jay thinks they’re the same. Sunghoon thinks they’re close. Jake thinks they’re different — and only God knows what Heeseung thinks, really.
“Jay told me you were still here,” is what Heeseung comes up with a while later. Jake doesn’t know what he’s trying to talk about, but he’s saved from having to figure it out himself when the other continues without any prompting. “You need to stop working so late.”
And in simple terms, Jake is just… baffled. He’s speechless too, at Heeseung’s gall to come here, to his office, and tell him what to do. At Heeseung’s sheer audacity to come here at 10:00 PM, and give his opinion on what he thinks about Jake’s working habits, as if he had any right to say anything about Jake, anymore.
It’s not necessarily anger that Jake feels, but a weird whirlwind f a bunch of different emotions which just don’t make sense in his heart, or mind. He should hate Heeseung, he knows, for ignoring him for three weeks after leading him in circles and disregarding the implications of what he’s done to Jake, and the situation he put him in. For what he made Jake feel.
But Jake also thinks that the last thing he has is the right to put all of the blame on Heeseung. The reason they’re in this situation is because neither of them have ever been able to find the right words at the right time. Jake still can’t find the right words, and if there’s anything that hearing what Heeseung just had to say proves, it’s that the older can’t find the right words either.
Heeseung should apologize for what he did. But Jake can’t expect him to when he didn’t even tell Heeseung that there were consequences to everything because he feels—
Well. What does he feel? Maybe Jake should answer that for himself before trying to tell Heeseung the answer to the same thing.
“I think you should go,” Jake settles on saying instead of anything else. He releases an exhale through his nose, one he didn’t even know he was holding.
“No.”
“No?” he scoffs, sure that he looks half incredulous and half crazy as he levels Heeseung with a look. “Get out.” This conversation is becoming far too reminiscent of their last one for Jake’s liking. He’s not sure how much longer he can go while still having a sound mind while talking. “Listen to your President, for once.”
“I didn’t come here to talk to the president,” Heeseung tells him. He sits up straighter, and the sounds his jacket makes grates Jake’s ears, just a little. On a smaller note, the sounds just remind him of how Heeseung’s clothes would sound hitting the floor when they’d be alone in either of their bedrooms. “I came here to talk to Jaeyun.”
“Then do some fucking talking,” he urges. Maybe he sounds desperate — Jake wonders if he truly is. And maybe he is desperate: desperate to know what possible excuse Heeseung could have for showing up, what excuse he has for going radio silent for weeks, what excuse he has for… for everything, really. Going on dates, then insisting he doesn’t want to date. Sleeping with Jake, and then not even considering that if he had to go on dates, he could take Jake out on one.
Jake’s shoulders slump, and he feels defeated on the inside — this is what it comes down too, isn’t it? Heeseung had been going on dates, and the fact that he didn’t bother taking him out on one made Jake feel all sorts of things he couldn’t understand or put into words. Even now, he’s not too sure how he’s meant to articulate thoughts like this without sounding like he’s pathetic.
He asks himself when he even started wanting to be the one who Heeseung took on a date. Even if it was just to get Jay off his back, and just to appease his mother. The only answer he can come to is that just like a lot of his feelings pertaining to Heeseung, these ones have also gotten lost between the haze and the blurred lines.
“I told Jay I was dating,” Heeseung starts, as if that’s what Jake wants to know at the end of all of this. As if that’s what’s been on his mind. It’s not, and Heeseung might know that, since he continues talking before Jake has the chance to tell him off again. “And then he… got mad at me. Yeah.”
To say Jake doesn’t care would be too harsh. He just doesn't understand what this has to do with anything.
“He said I should just focus on graduating.”
“Okay.” Jake already knew this. He’s heard Jay’s side of the story, after all.
“And then you said that Jay and Sunghoon think we’re dating.”
“Thought,” Jake corrects, swallowing down a bitter feeling which seems adamant on crawling up his throat. Now is not the time to be petty over what his friends do or don’t think. “They thought we were dating. They don’t anymore.”
“Right,” Heeseung nods, and only since Jake is looking closely, he can see the older tense his jaw, and gulp. Part of Jake feels mildly satisfied — Heeseung should be nervous right now. He should be thinking about his words carefully. “But you. You just seemed so… off put by the fact that they’d even think that.”
Jake thinks he knows where Heeseung is going with this. And it makes a nauseous feeling begin swimming in his gut. “So I just assumed that… you’d hate dating me. If you hated the idea that much.”
The end of Heeseung’s words are a whisper, and Jake feels like someone just punched him in the gut. He also realizes with a heavy, sinking feeling that this is the most vulnerable he’s ever heard Heeseung sound — and that’s even after he’s slept with the man countless, countless amounts of times.
“If you asked—” Jake releases shakily, his words coming out with his exhale. He has half the mind to realize that it’s unfair of him to say that Heeseung’s assumption is what foiled everything. Things probably wouldn’t be this way if Heeseung had asked, and if Jake—
“If you had been honest,” Heeseung interrupts, rightfully. Jake can’t even be upset at his words. He knows they’re true. He’d just been thinking the same thing. “If we… you know…”
Jake does know. For once, Heeseung doesn’t need to say it out loud for Jake to know.
If we talked to each other, goes without saying. But it was rare that he actually talked about productive, important things with Heeseung.
Maybe that was another problem.
“So that’s it? You think I’m—that I’m repulsed by dating you, so you go on dates to find someone else?”
“Something like that, maybe,” Heeseung admits.
Jake scoffs, and realizes with horror that it’s a wet, thick sound. The bridge of his nose stings. He stands up from his chair, and turns around to look out the window. He can’t even look at Heeseung after hearing that.
But he can’t stop himself from whipping around at the sound of Heeseung standing up too. The sound of his footsteps coming closer and closer, until he stops right in front of him.
“Fuck you,” Jake says lowly, glaring right up at Heeseung from under his eyelashes. Particularly now, he hates their height difference. It gives Heeseung the perfect view to see tears begin bubbling in his eyes, teetering on the edges of his waterline. Jake sees Heeseung bring a familiar, large, gentle hand up to his face, and can’t help but lean out of the touch, for once. “I won’t cry over you.”
Heeseung looks sad when he smiles. “Good,” he says softly. “I don’t deserve them, Jaeyun.”
Another scoff from Jake, equally as wet. He blinks his eyes furiously, urging his tears to shrink back into their ducts after making their embarrassing appearance.
“You’re so annoying,” Jake sniffs, focusing on Heeseung’s eyebrows so that he doesn’t have to actually look into his eyes. “Why are you here?”
It’s the question of the hour, and it’s the one that Heeseung has somehow yet to answer.
“Because I can’t find anyone else,” Heeseung says simply, like he doesn’t look like he hates the sight of Jake in front of him. He’s having a hard time deciding whether or not it’s Jake or if it’s the look on his face which is making Heeseung frown so vehemently in front of him. He can only hope it’s the latter. “Because I don’t want to find anyone else.”
For as long as Jake has known him, he’s picked up on Heeseung’s penchant to talk in circles. It’s something born out of not wanting to ever be wrong: Heeseung never gives a proper answer. Every time he speaks, he makes Jake think about what he means. Jake finds himself reading between the lines, and pondering on the meaning behind every single one of Heeseung’s words before he understands what the older is trying to say.
So it’s with the utmost clarity that he realizes that Heeseung is being beyond vulnerable right now: he’s telling Jake things as they are. There are no lines to read between because Heeseung isn’t saying unnecessary words. There’s no meaning to ponder about because he could only mean one thing.
Jake sees it, and he hears it, and he realizes it too. But alongside that realization, he also acknowledges that—
“You’re nothing like what I’m looking for.” Maybe that’s why he had agreed to sleep around with Heeseung regularly too, because he didn’t think that there’d be any way he would actually fall for him. There’s so much about Heeseung that he didn’t know he’d grow so extremely fond over. There’s so much about Heeseung that Jake knew wasn’t his type when they first met. It’s an ironic thought, because the only thing he can think of now when he sees Heeseung is that he’s all Jake could ever want, and then some. “You’re—you’re the opposite of what I wanted.”
“I know,” Heeseung whispers. He says he knows, so Jake takes it as a reasoning behind some of his behaviour — if Heeseung knew, then he was scared. And Jake can’t fault him for being scared, not when he was too.
The older takes a step forward, and it’s too familiar to how they’ve found themselves many, many times before. It’s far too comfortable, and it’s everything Jake knew he missed. Three weeks without Heeseung is a long time — especially when Jake is used to the warmth and presence of the man in front of him regularly.
“But you’re still… you’re what I want,” Jake gulps. Heeseung brings a hand up to his face again, and this time he doesn’t turn away from the touch. Heeseung’s fingers meet his cheek, splaying across the side of his face until his hand is cupping his cheek. Warm, soft, familiar. Jake finds himself leaning into the touch.
“Jaeyun…”
“You’re who I want,” he whispers, and then his eyes fall shut, and he finally, finally tastes Heeseung in his mouth for the first time in weeks.
His lips are still chapped, but his mouth is hot, and he kisses the way Jake remembers. He kisses him the way Jake loves, and it’s with an overwhelming, overflowing amount of emotion that Jake kisses back. He wonders if Heeseung can feel it, if he can taste how Jake feels, and gets his answer in the form of the older walking them back. Pushing Jake against the wall, tilting his head and licking into his mouth. Sucking on his tongue, running along the back of his teeth, engulfing Jake’s body with warmth wherever his hands touch.
Heeseung tastes like candy. The lollipop had been an orange flavoured one. There’s sugar under his tongue, and he says something against Jake’s mouth. The latter can’t make it out because he doesn’t want to stop kissing Heeseung for even a second. Three weeks had felt like three years, and Jake doesn’t want to let go. Not now, not ever. He wants to kiss Heeseung until the taste of the latter is the only taste he knows. He wants to breathe Heeseung in until he becomes his oxygen. He wants to touch Heesueng until his fingertips miss the feel of his body under their skin.
He wants so much, and he never knew he could be so greedy.
Jake never knew he could be such a greedy person. But maybe that’s because he’s not, and the only thing he truly, desperately wants, is Heeseung.
“I missed you,” Heeseung says, finally intelligible. It sounds like television static to Jake’s ears. Heeseung repeats himself. “I missed you. I’m sorry—”
“I know,” Jake mumbles, because that’s the least he can do. He knows Heeseung is sorry. He knows he missed him too. It’s all tangible; Jake can tell by the way Heeseung grips his waist and strokes his cheekbone. He should know that Jake missed him too; one of his hands is knotted into his unruly black hair, while the other is coming close to ripping off his clothes. “I’m sorry too. Make it—make it up to me. Now, hyung. Now—”
Jake probably didn’t have to ask twice, but he’s impatient. It’s a feeling which thrums through his veins and makes him feel nothing short of a crazy person. It’s like his entire body had been in Heeseung withdrawal for the past three weeks, and now that he has the other, all to himself, he can’t help but want to take everything in abundance.
Heeseung picks him up by the back of his thighs, spinning them around quickly to deposit Jake onto his desk. He’s sitting on paperwork which needs to be done — but for the first time in a long time, he refuses to think about work. He wants to focus on Heeseung’s hands dancing along his body instead.
He watches with hooded eyes as Heeseung’s practiced fingers unbutton his jeans. He pops open the first one, then the second, the third and the fourth, until Jake’s rapidly hardening cock is able to get some relief.
And then he realizes, “I don’t have any—”
“I do,” Heeseung interrupts. Jake can feel the shape of the words against his throat, where Heeseung’s lips are painting a canvas of reds and pinks. Jake wants to see, but he’ll have to save that for when he eventually manages to get in front of a mirror. For now, he just scoffs lightly at the other’s words.
“You’re sleazy,” he tells him. Heeseung pulls away just enough to reach into the pocket of his jacket, tossing two packets of lube onto the table. Jake pushes the jacket off his shoulders right after. “You’re a sleaze. You’re awful. Do you just walk around with lube always on you?”
Heeseung shakes his head, and works on unbuckling his own belt. Jake won’t pretend like he doesn’t stare — he’s more than attracted to the sight of Heeseung sliding his belt off through the loops, and unbuttoning his own jeans. “I knew I was coming here.”
Jake raises his eyebrows. “And you knew we were gonna fuck?”
“I was being optimistic,” the older grins. He crowds back into Jake’s space, and kisses him square on the mouth. His hands travel back between the younger’s legs, and Jake hums appreciatively into their kiss as a reaction. “And hopeful. And I know what happens every time we’re alone in your office.”
Jake can’t help it — he giggles against Heeseung’s mouth at the words. They’ve defiled practically every single part of his office (not that he’d ever tell Jay that) despite how adamant Jake is on following the rules. He never can seem to care too much about the rules whenever Heeseung is involved, after all.
What happens between that and Heeseung lubing himself up is a blur: somewhere between breathless kisses and swallowed moans, Heeseung stretches Jake open on the fingers he missed so much, and kisses his mouth numb. Jake is sure that his lips are swollen and red, but he doesn't mind the fact, since Heeseung’s are as well.
They’re panting, and their clothes are a mess. Half still on their bodies, completely rumpled and sticking to their skin, courtesy of sweat. Neither of them seem to mind though, clearly both impatient, and unbearably turned on. Jake spreads his legs wider, allowing Heeseung to step closer, and he moans softly in anticipation when the head of Heeseung’s cock knocks against his rim.
Regular sex with Heeseung had made twenty-and-some days seem like torture. Alongside the warmth and the butterflies, Jake didn’t realize how much he missed and longed for intimacy with Heeseung until now.
Heeseung ducks his head down until his face is what Jake sees instead of where they’re about to be connected, catching his mouth in a soft, slow kiss.
Jake melts, and Heeseung breathes him right in. “Jaeyun.” Unable to help it, Jake smiles against the other’s mouth. Heeseung takes it as a cue to continue. “I love you.”
He doesn’t let Jake answer. He doesn't even let Jake process the confession before he’s pushing his hips forward, inching his cock into Jake slowly. With every passing second, he spears Jake open more, keeping the latter steady with a hand on the small of his back, while the other steadies himself with a grip on the edge of the desk.
Through deep, shuddering breaths, Jake finds Heeseung’s dark, dark eyes.
“Being sappy is so unlike you,” he heaves. Jake locks his ankles behind Heeseung’s hips, securing himself all while pulling the older in closer. Deeper, until their hips are flushed against each other, and Jake has to stifle a whimper into Heeseung’s shoulder.
“You don’t know me, sweetheart,” Heeseung whispers. His words are hot and spoken right into Jake’s ear. It wasn’t what Jake wanted to hear, but it’s what he registers before Heeseung’s hips are moving. Dragging in and out at a slow pace, letting them both get used to being with each other this way again. “I haven’t let you know me, yet.”
Nothing Heeseung is saying is the usual, sexy talk he brings out during sex. And while it’s not an ideal topic, his honesty somehow makes this whole moment feel more intimate. Jake melts into Heeseung’s hold, into Heeseung all around him, and finds the older’s mouth in a kiss which he hopes conveys more than his words ever could.
I’ll know you. I’ll take everything you give me. Give it to me — give me everything.
Jake’s message is received. Heeseung kisses him back like it’s his last day on Earth, and his hips pick up their pace. The desk shakes beneath them, and Jake should honestly be ashamed to once again be fucking in his office. But that’s honestly the last thing he can bring himself to think about, far too entranced by finally being together with Heeseung again, like this.
In the way he so desperately missed.
“Heeseung hyung,” he moans, a sharp and high sound which dissolves into something soft when the older wraps a hand around his leaking cock. “Hyung—baby, please, I’m close,” Jake tells him. His own hand finds its way under Heeseung’s shirt, stroking his skin adoringly, tracing the ridges of his ribcage as best he can despite his shaky hands. He thumbs over Heeseung’s nipple, and finds himself keening when his palm meets his heartbeat.
“Good,” Heeseung grunts, his hips spasming the more Jake toys with his nipple. He leans forward as best he can too, in order to latch his lips onto Heeseung’s jaw. His teeth come out to nibble, and he hears the other’s guttural moan right in his ear. “Good, Jaeyun—fuck, you’re so good.”
Stifling a whimper against Heeseung’s skin, Jake paints his knuckles white with cum. Ribbons of pearly warmth coat Heeseung’s fingers, just as his thrusts become erratic. A telltale sign that he’s close.
“O-On me,” Jake gets out between the overstimulation, warning Heeseung gently with a pinch to his nipple. The small yelp the older lets out is cute, of all things. “Not inside, hyung, I—”
Jake doesn’t get to say anything more before Heeseung pulls out of his Jake swiftly, jerking his cock until he comes all over Jake’s navel and tummy
Some of it lands on his shirt. It’s likely going to leave a stain, but Jake can’t find it in himself to be mad. Not with the way Heeseung falls into him instantly after rubbing out his orgasm, messily trying to kiss his mouth.
“You have to graduate,” Jake whispers after they’ve had a while to catch their breath. For a moment, he thinks Heeseung is going to say something about how awful his pillow talk is again.
“I know,” is all Heeseung says, the words muttered against Jake’s collarbones, where the older finds himself placing small nips and wet kisses.
“I mean it,” Jake stresses. “You have to.”
“I know,” Heeseung insists. He pulls out of Jake’s neck, staring at his tiny creation for a second, before peering up to match Jake’s gaze. “I know, sweetheart.”
“I can’t be dating a student,” Jake emphasizes, just so that for once, he knows they’re on the same page.
The grin Heeseung gives him is blinding. “Oh, but sleeping with a student was fine?” he teases, already knowing the answer.
It wasn’t, but Heeseung makes Jake do a lot of crazy things. A lot of things he shouldn’t. Break a lot of rules that shouldn’t be broken.
A horrible, terrible influence.
Really.
»«
It’s hot and it’s sunny, and Jay had to tie his tie for him again this morning. “I feel like your dad.”
“Don’t say that,” Jake scrunches his nose, disgusted. “We didn’t live together for ten months for you to be my dad.”
Jay snorts, and makes quick work of tying Jake’s tie. Unlike the last time he asked Jay to do this (or the multiple times), they’re not at home. They’re already at the convocation location, and there are already parents, families, and friends littering the area. Jake even thinks he sees some of the high school kids lingering in the back — there’s just a lot of people already here.
There’s a bunch of staff and important people part of the university’s board present, and the sight of them makes Jake sweat more than he already is, given the heat. Who decided that the dress code should be formal on such a day, anyways? Jake hates them.
He also hates Jay for somehow not looking like he was being baked in his suit. How does he manage to look so put together all the time? It’s been months of living with Jay, over a year of knowing him, but Jake still doesn’t have the answer to that.
“C’mon, smile a little,” Jay urges, patting Jake’s shoulder encouragingly. “This is our last day as Vice President and President. Soak it all in, boss.”
Jake sighs, admitting to himself that the feeling is pretty bittersweet. He’s glad to let go of such a tedious and hellish position, but he can’t deny that he got attached to his job over the course of the past year. It had been a lot of gruelling, taxing work, but it was very, very rewarding.
He got to see the results of the council’s hard work play out in real time throughout the school year, and he’s done his due diligence as president by beginning a lot of projects, and leaving a lot of new opportunities for the next set of council members.
Speaking of the new council members—
“What is Sunghoon doing here?” Jay asks, clearly spotting their best from over Jake’s shoulder. Jake turns around at the question, and sees Sunghoon jogging up to them. He looks put together and pristine in his black slacks and white button up. If Jake didn’t know any better, he’d think Sunghoon was here as a guest for one of the graduates.
But, he does know better. “C’mon, man. You didn’t think Sunghoon would miss watching his boyfriend be crowned the next student council president, did you?”
“Kim Sunoo won the vote?” Jay asks, turning to Jake with surprised eyes. They bleed into narrow slits not even a second later. “Isn’t that confidential information? You’re not supposed to tell anyone until it’s time to announce who you’re passing the position onto.”
“It’s just you, it’s not like I told Sunghoon that Kim Sunoo won the vote for sure,” Jake shrugs. “Also, the VP is Hong Seunghan. He was runner up.”
Jay looks like he wants to say something, but smartly decides to keep his mouth shut since Sunghoon is now within earshot. Once he’s made it up to them, he throws an arm over both their shoulders, cooing at their formal suits.
“Aigoo, don’t you two look so professional,” he teases, letting them go when they complain about how hot and prickly Sunghoon’s extra body heat makes them. “Enjoy the last day of being employed.”
“Unlike Jake here, I have a job lined up and waiting for me,” Jay sasses, and the unprecedented jab at his impending unemployed status earns him an elbow from Jake. It’s not his fault that corporate is evil! “How’s it feel to know that Sunghoon got a job before you?”
And yeah, that’s the other thing — Sunghoon did end up finding a job. Jake is super proud of him, really. Eight months of fruitless job searching would’ve killed him, but he’s glad it finally worked out for Sunghoon in the end.
“I had no choice but to finally get employed,” Sunghoon says. “I have a boyfriend to spoil and look after now.” Sunghoon sounds halfway in love as he speaks, and Jake would find it gross if he wasn’t happy for his best friend. “He’s gonna win, right, guys? Sunoo is so nervous about the results.”
Jake rubs Sunghoon’s shoulders comfortingly, smiling with confidence because he knows the results already.
“Don’t worry, bro. Sunoo had the best campaign, it’ll be easy for him,” Jake assures.
“Now go tell Sunoo that,” Jay tacks on, nudging his head towards where Sunoo is wringing his fingers nervously, standing next to all the other students who had run for student council president. “He looks like he needs it.”
“Boyfriend duties await,” Sunghoon announces, saluting to both of them before making his way over to his boyfriend.
“I also can’t believe that Sunghoon got a boyfriend before you, either,” Jay comments once the youngests is out of earshot. Jake looks away from where he watches Sunghoon greet Sunoo before he sees something gag inducing, or equally as awful which he could’ve gone without ever seeing.
“One thing about Hoon is that he’s persistent,” Jake hums. Then he registers what Jay meant by his words. “But, if you want to get technical, then—”
“I dont,” Jay interrupts, smiling warmly at the other despite his words. “Want to get technical, that is. Let Sunghoon have this win, dude.”
Again, Jake rolls his eyes. He lets it go though. He can sacrifice one win in the name of Sunghoon, after all.
“Speaking of, though, I hope you know hyung is going to make you meet his mom,” Jay chides, looking sick with satisfaction as he watches Jake’s face pale in real time. Jay snickers at his reaction. “You didn’t think he wouldn’t, did you?”
“A warning would’ve been nice,” Jake hisses, his hands subconsciously, and immediately, going to fix his hair. This is quite possibly the worst day to meet Heeseung’s mother — he’s sweaty and flushed, and his hair is a frizzy mess from the humidity and his face is oily. The weather is clearly not on his side today. “What the fuck? Hyung’s awful.”
“But you knew that,” Jay consoles. Or at least, tries to console. Jay always has a different definition of everything, even consoling. “I’ll leave you two to it. Remember not to stutter during your speech.” Jake thinks Jay means to sound encouraging and supportive, but the only thing Jake is getting out of their interaction is a high blood pressure.
Nonetheless, beneath the surface, he appreciates the… good luck. Or whatever that was.
Jake doesn’t know what Jay means by ‘leaving you two to it,’ until he hears someone come to a stop right behind him.
Turning around, Jake sees Heeseung. Standing tall and proud, hair styled out of his face for once, in his graduation robes.
Unable to help himself, Jake smiles upon the sight. Seeing Heeseung in graduation robes had been a long time coming — Jake almost didn’t know if he’d get to see the day (though, that’s just what he always tells Heeseung. Deep down, Jake always knew that the older had it in him to graduate).
“Can you believe no one has a light here?” Heeseung scoffs before saying anything else. He pulls the cigarette that was between his lips out of his mouth, waving it around for emphasis. “Can you also believe that of all things, I forgot to bring a lighter with me today?”
“I can,” Jake agrees, humouring the older. He takes the cigarette from between Heeseung’s fingers, and stuff it into his own pocket. It’ll be just another Chesterfield to add to his ever growing collection of Heeseung-cigarettes. The older never asks for them back, and Jake takes that as a good sign. He also takes the fact that he’s been forgetting his lighters as a good sign, too. “You’ve been all over the place since finishing your degree.”
“It’s my brain not knowing what to do with all the empty space,” Heeseung says very seriously. “I’m like. Done with university forever, babe.”
“Congratulations,” he says dryly, in a way which earns him Heeseung sucking air in through his teeth. “No hat?” Jake asks, noticing that Heeseung had forgone the graduation cap that matches his robe. He had worn it during the convocation ceremony, when he had walked across stage and received his diploma.
“It was messing with my hair,” the older shrugs. He looks to his left and then his right, quickly surveying the area around them. He must see what he had wanted to, since Heeseung ducks in for a quick peck before Jake can even take his next blink.
“Hyung!” Jake scolds, quickly looking around too to make sure no one had seen that. “I’m your president.”
“Not anymore, I've graduated,” Heeseung smiles. He seems more proud of the fact that he can use that as an excuse to kiss Jake square on the mouth in public than the fact that he graduated, finally, after three years.
“I’m still the council’s president for the next thirty minutes,” Jake reminds him. He checks the time on his watch right after saying that, feeling a sudden bout of nerves and excitement wash over him when he sees that there are only twenty-eight minutes left until he’s finally done with this job. “You’ve held out for months, you can deal with just a little longer, right?”
“You’re torturing me,” Heeseung pouts, but the look vanishes off his face rather quickly. He swiftly grabs Jake’s smaller hand in his own, and begins leading them towards the closest building. “Come with me.”
“You really can’t hold out for thirty more minutes?” Jake gapes, but he follows Heeseung nonetheless. He hasn’t seen the man in a little less than three days, since Heeseung has been celebrating his graduation and spending time with his family. “Hyung—”
“I won’t let you be late,” the older interrupts, as he already knew what Jake was going to say. It’s likely that he did — Heeseung seems to know a lot about Jake, nowadays. Even the things Jake didn’t know he’d pick up on. “Relax a little, President Sim.”
“You won’t be able to call me that anymore,” the younger reminds him.
Heeseung opens the door to lead them both into the building, and Jake immediately sighs in relief as the cool, air-conditioned air hits his flushed face. The blast of cold wind feels incredible as it sweeps through his hair. He’s only mildly disgusted when he realizes that the air-conditioning is just momentarily drying his sweat, but he’ll take a win when he can. It’s the simple pleasures in life, after all.
“You seem to be more upset about that than I am, babe,” Heeseung teases. He pulls one sleeve of his gown down to cover his hand, and then brings that hand up to Jake’s face. “I meant it, though. Relax. Your speech is gonna be great, and then you’ll be done with this hellish job,” he placates. Heeseung’s voice is soft and buttery, and Jake feels his heart skip a beat. In this moment, he’s reminded of just one of the reasons why he feels like a fool around Heeseung.
Jake had said that being sappy didn’t suit the other at all. Heeseung countered the argument by saying that Jake didn’t know him at all. But now, Jake is proud to say that he’s used to the older’s affection and sappiness. He just knows Heeseung like that, after all.
“You’re just glad that we’ll finally be on an equal playing field,” Jake snorts, letting Heeseung continue to pat the sweat and oil on his face away with the sleeve of his gown.
“What’s wrong with both being unemployed?” Heeseung asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “It means he won’t have any reason to not see me anymore.”
Jake scoffs, expecting Heeseung’s answer.
“You’re so annoying,” Jake tells him, not for the first time. Definitely not for the last time either. Heeseung has heard the same words fall from his mouth so many times that he’d grown immune to their meaning. The words take on a different meaning whenever Jake says them anyways: the younger sounds way too affectionate and endeared to actually be annoyed with him.
Heeseung brings his hand back down to himself, and so Jake takes it upon himself to help smooth the slight creases in the fabric of his gown. His palms come to a stop just below Heeseung’s shoulders, and then a small smile blooms on his lips when he looks up to meet Heeseung’s eyes, already staring at him.
“I’m very proud of you, hyung,” Jake tells him quietly, sincerely.
When Heeseung smiles, he beams. Jake’s heart skips another beat — and if he thinks about it, then it might even hurt.
“I know,” he says happily. The boasting makes Jake roll his eyes, but he’s glad that Heeseung knows.
He wonders if Heeseung also knows that, “I love you.”
This time, he’s no longer beaming. Instead, Heeseung’s smile becomes softer, relaxing into something sweet and gentle, just like the three words Jake had said.
“I know,” the older whispers. He leans forward just a little, until he can knock their foreheads together. Heeseung does this often, and it reminds Jake of a cat, every single time that he does. “I know you. I love you, too.”
Now it’s Jake’s turn to smile. He pushes himself up just a tiny bit, until he can kiss Heeseung, and forget that he has something to do in around twenty minutes.
“I know,” he mumbles against the other’s lips, tasting the smile on Heeseung’s mouth when he leans in for another kiss.
Not too much matters. In around twenty minutes’ time, they’ll finally be on level playing field. They’ll both be unemployed, and they’ll both be done with this university. They’ll both probably go to Heeseung’s place, and they’ll both get tangled in the sheets, lost in each other, lost in something akin to love.
Though maybe, it’s not akin — maybe it is just love, plain and simple.
What a silly, stupid thought…