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Kit is not sure how she got herself in this situation. Well, okay she kind of knows. Her mom is worried about her, she gets that, but there are limits to these types of situations, right? Her mom should know that she and Airk are completely different. She’s always been the more daring one, the one who wants to go on adventures; Airk has always liked going out with friends and making out with people. He’s got a more outgoing nature, is what she’s trying to say.
Maybe she gets why her mom is been insistent on her getting a significant other. She even tried to set her up with one of her colleagues’ sons, and that had ended up in an awkward conversation about her being a lesbian and no, mom, there’s no way I am going to give Graydon a chance.
So, when her mom tells her that she’s having a get-together at home, and that her presence is required, she just knows that it will end up with her sitting with some weird person and making small talk that will probably end up in a fight. Kit doesn’t think she can deal with that right now.
“Jade, light of my days, apple of my eye, heart of my-.”
“What do you need.” Jade answers, rolling her eyes.
“I need a favor.” Jade makes a face at her, one that clearly says duh. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
Kit watches as the words register in Jade’s brain; she frowns, blinks multiple times at her and tilts her head.
“As… as a favor?”
“Yes. Please?”
“Explain?”
“My mom is having a get-together next weekend and she wants to set me up with people. You know how’s that gone before, and I can’t deal.”
“So, you want me to go with you and pretend to be your girlfriend?”
“Yeah, exactly!” Kit says with a smile, “you get me.”
“I’m still confused. Why don’t you tell your mom you’re happy being single?”
Ah, the million-dollar question. It’s not that Kit is happy to be single, and it’s not that she’s unhappy either. It’s that she’s in love with someone who will never love her back, and she’s happy just being by her side.
“Well…” Kit starts. She can’t say that to Jade, though. Jade would want to know who she’s in love with, and Jade definitely must not know. “I’m 26, and I’ve never taken anybody home with me. I get why she’s worried. Look at Airk, he’s married and has a kid on the way. And you know how she likes to compare us.”
“That’s not an answer, though.” Jade tells her. Ah, Kit must have known Jade would see through her bullshit.
“I just want to get her off my back. And that won’t happen until I come back home with someone.”
Jade sighs. She looks troubled and unsure, and the last thing she wants is to make her uncomfortable. They’ve been friends for a while, now, and Jade knows everything about Kit and vice versa; doesn’t mean that maybe there are some lines that should remain uncrossed.
“If it makes you uncom-.”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“-fortable-. Really!? You will!?”
“Yes.”
“You’re the best. Jade, I love you so, so much! Oh my god!”
“But!” Jade continues. “There are limits.”
“Of course, tell me.” Kit sobers up immediately, sitting with her back completely straight against the couch.
“We won’t kiss unless we’re in front of your family.”
“Okay.” Oh, she will get to kiss Jade.
This might be the best or the worst idea she’s ever had.
“And, if for whatever reason either of us ask the other to stop, we will stop. Okay?”
“Yes, of course. I will never, ever do anything to make you uncomfortable.”
“I know.” Jade tells her, and the soft look she gives Kit makes her stomach flutter.
Yeah, this is the best idea ever.
*
This is the worst idea ever. Who told her that pretending to be girlfriends with her best friend of six years, whom she’s been in love with for just as long, was a good idea? Nobody! Nobody told Kit that; this is torture.
It’s been an hour and a half since they’ve arrived at her mom’s house and, while in the beginning it was just simple hand-holding, and lying to her mom’s face about how Jade and her realized they’re made for each other, and please stop trying to set me up with people, mom, after some time with the others, she’s coming to the realization that maybe, maybe, pretending to be in love with the person she’s actually in love with was not her brightest idea.
“Why is Boorman looking at us like that?” Jade asks, close to her ear.
“Why is Boorman, ever?”
“Yeah.”
*
They’re in the garden, sitting next to each other and making small talk here and there with some of Sorsha’s guests. Overall, they’ve been judging everybody since they’ve arrived.
“Kit! Jade!” Elora, one of their friends from college says. They both turn at the same time, smiling immediately.
“Elora!”
Kit and Jade stand up to greet her, hugging her tightly. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other.
“Where’s Graydon?” Jade asks, helping her sit down.
“He’s parking the car somewhere. There are no empty spaces near the entrance, and he didn’t want me to walk that much.”
“When is little Mims getting out of there?” Kit asks her, smiling softly.
“Any day now, I hope. I’m sooooooooooo tired!”
“You should be resting,” Jade tells her, but her whole expression screams that she’s really happy to see her friend.
“And miss the opportunity to see you guys? Nope.”
“Kit!” Sorsha appears out of nowhere, a young woman trailing behind her. Her face is as red as a tomato, and she keeps stealing looks at Kit. She pretends not to realize. “I want to introduce you to the new hire of Tir Asleen. This is… what’s your name, dear?”
“Uh, it’s Brumhilda.”
“Brumhilda, right.” Sorsha turns to look at them. “She’s doing her internship at the company, maybe you’ll see more of her in the following weeks. Brumhilda, this is my daughter Kit.”
“Hi.” Kit answers, and Jade can feel the anger coming off of Kit like waves. “I’m Kit Tanthalos. This is my friend Elora Danan, and this is my girlfriend, Jade Claymore.”
Elora gasps a little, but both Jade and Kit pretend not to notice, solely focused on Sorsha and Brumhilda’s expressions. Sorsha looks exasperated, and Brumhilda looks dejected. Jade kind of understands why Kit wanted to come with her as her partner. The weight Sorsha’s actions is evident in the tense line on Kit’s shoulders.
“Nice to meet you,” Jade says, making sure that her arm is wrapped around Kit’s.
“You too,” Brumhilda answers.
“Well, I’ll let you guys get to know each other. Brumhilda, sit down.”
Elora looks speechless. After a few seconds of silence, Graydon appears and sits down beside Elora, handing her a bottle of water. The tension is broken for a moment until Brumhilda asks:
“So, how long have you been together?”
Jade and Kit look at each other for a minute. They didn’t really get a back story ready for this type of thing, both of them just figured that showing up hand in hand was enough.
“Almost six months,” Jade answers first. “But we were best friends for a few years before that.”
“Ah,” Brumhilda continues: “well, you know what they say. Sometimes is better if you don’t break friendships because of relationships. Imagine if you break up.”
“We won’t.” Kit jumps straight to the bait and Jade has to control the exasperation she feels from showing up in her face. “We’ve been in love with each other for as long as we have been friends.”
“That’s true,” Elora chimes in, and okay. Elora doesn’t know about the lie. What is she doing? “You don’t have any idea of how painful it was for us to see them dance around each other. I’m so glad they got their shit together.”
Um. What? The look Kit gives Jade conveys a what the fuck is she talking about? And while Jade would like to outright deny that she’s in love with Kit, she both doesn’t have the energy to lie about that one, and also has to keep up with appearances in front to this Brumhilda girl.
“How about we go dance?” Kit interrupts whatever Brumhilda was going to say, offering her hand to Jade.
“Sure.”
They avoid looking at anybody while they make their way to the improvised space Kit’s mom has designated as the dance floor.
It’s not the first time they dance like this; Kit’s hands wrapped around her neck, Jade’s arms around Kit’s waist. It probably won’t be the last time either. But this time feels different. Jade has always tried to get herself together whenever she’s with Kit, specially when they’re dancing or playing any stupid college game with friends or at a party. However, this time, this time Jade feels like she might need a moment to process everything that’s happening.
“Jade.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
Kit’s voice is so soft, almost a whisper, and just like that, Jade’s heart is beating a thousand miles per minute. Jade whispers a soft okay, and Kit’s face comes incredibly close to hers almost immediately.
For a second, neither of them moves. Jade can see the way Kit’s eyes keep looking down at her mouth, and she knows she’s doing the same thing. Kit’s arms untangle from behind her neck, and come to rest on top of the lapels of Jade’s suit. Then, they seem to move to their own accord and caress Jade’s throat and jaw. While she does that, Jade wraps her arms tightly around Kit’s waist, pressing their bodies together. Then it happens.
Kit’s lips are soft. They’re softer than Jade has imagined they would be, and she has imagined them. Kit sucks on her lower lip, and Jade can’t help but smile in the middle of the kiss; she can feel Kit do the same thing against her mouth, but they don’t stop kissing each other. After their first kiss comes another, and another, and then another, until they’re both smiling too much to continue. Jade rests her forehead on Kit’s and continues dancing with closed eyes.
*
Kit: wanna have lunch today?
Jade: Sure. Want me to pick you up?
Kit: please and thank you
Kit: mom keeps trying to throw brumhilda at me 😒
Jade: Seriously? Wtf is wrong with your mom???
Kit: i have no idea. please come
Jade: I’ll be there at 12
Kit: you’re the best ilu
They should have had stopped this right after the get-together. Jade knows this; she’s talked about it extensively with her sister. Scorpia doesn’t think that what she’s doing is healthy, and that she will end up getting hurt no matter the outcome. Jade knows this as well. She knows what she signed up for, she knows it will end badly.
But! Jade knows her limits as well, and kissing her best friend is not really crossing any of them. Kind of.
When she arrives to Tir Asleen, she’s stopped at the reception and has to announce her presence for Kit to let her up the building. She hates when there’s new people at the front desk. As she finally makes it to the 14th floor, she sees Brumhilda getting out of Kit’s office, and Kit looking at a rose bouquet with disgust.
“Hey, love.” Jade says, and a shiver runs down her spine as she says the pet name. Kit and her have never called each other anything more than their names.
“Jade!” case in point.
“And those flowers?” Jade asks, even though she might already know the answer.
“Brumhilda”, bingo. “She keeps insisting, no matter how many times I tell her I am in a committed relationship with you. And my mom doesn’t really help.”
Jade knew that Sorsha was headstrong, but refusing to accept that Kit already had a partner? Yeah, either she knows what’s really up between Kit and Jade, or she really doesn’t like Jade at all.
“Come here.” Jade tells her. She grabs the bouquet, walks to the trash can outside Kit’s office and dumps it. “You don’t like flowers.”
“Precisely.” Kit answers, smirking. Jade walks back to Kit, cups her face in her palms and gives her a soft kiss.
“Hmmm…” Kit starts, her eyes fluttering open. “What happened to only kissing in front of my family?”
“Brumhilda is looking at us.”
She isn’t. Brumhilda’s cubicle doesn’t allow her to even peek at Kit’s office, thankfully. Kit doesn’t need to know that.
“Oh.”
“Come on, we have a lunch date.” Jade grabs Kits hand and pulls her towards the elevator.
While walking, she catches Brumhilda’s eyes and Jade raises an eyebrow, moves her head slightly towards Kit’s office and the last thing she sees is Brumhilda realizing that the bouquet is in the trash can.
*
The situation gets out of control. It was obvious this was going to happen, but Kit didn’t think it would happen this fast. Kit has found a hundred and one excuses to kiss Jade in the two months they’ve been pretending to be together, and it’s becoming too much. She can’t keep kissing her best friend, the love of her life, and she can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t mean something else to her.
“Stop.” Kit says, as Jade grabs her hand to guide her towards her mom’s house.
Jade blinks once, twice, three times at her and drops Kit’s hand. She looks dejected, and Kit is sure that there might be a similar expression on her face.
“Is everything okay?”
She sounds worried. Kit never wanted to make Jade feel worried about her.
“We need to talk but,” she stops for a second, looking at their surroundings. Sorsha had organized another get-together, this time for the twins’ birthday. Airk was a father now, so she wanted to make something special for the both of them. “Can we go somewhere else?”
Jade nods, they start walking towards the entrance garden. Once alone, Kit takes a few steps back from Jade and takes a deep breath.
“I can’t keep doing this with you.” She starts. Jade opens her mouth to interrupt her, but she continues. “No, let me talk first, please.”
Kit doesn’t really know what she’s going to say to Jade to make her understand, but she’s going to try, goddamnit.
“I know it was my idea, okay? I know I was the one who did all of this, but it’s-. It’s too much.”
“Kit, if did or said anything that made you uncom-.”
“No. It’s not you, okay, it’s me. I am the one with the feelings, and the confusion, and the overwhelming desire to kiss you all the time, and to hold your hand all the time, and for this to be something else than pretend.”
Jade gapes at her. She looks shocked but her expression doesn’t convey anything else than that.
“So, yeah. There’s that. I’m going to tell my mom that we broke up.”
“No!” Jade stops her by grabbing her arm. She seems frantic, for what reason, Kit doesn’t know. “You said your part, now it’s my turn.”
Kit turns around completely and she realizes that they’re closer than at the beginning of this conversation. Jade seems to be looking for something, her eyes moving rapidly and looking at different places of her face. Kit feels her cheeks warm at the stare and tries to avoid looking at Jade altogether.
“I am… and have been for some time just, totally, completely, desperately in love with you.”
Kit’s breath catches. She looks back at Jade and the look in her eyes is enough for her to throw caution away and just grab her face and kiss her. It feels just like their other shared kisses, but completely different at the same time. It feels like they’re not holding back anymore. Jade’s arms tight around her torso, palms against her back; she feels towered by Jade’s body as she arches her back to allow more contact.
“I love you so much,” Kit whispers against Jade’s lips.
“I love you so much too,” she answers, and Kit can’t help but kiss her again. “I don’t think I might be able to stop kissing you.”
“You don’t have to.”