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never 2 hard 2 luv u

Summary:

After finding a letter in Stolas’s pocket about their imminent breakup, Blitzø panics. Now, here’s what you should NOT do in this situation:
1) Wander onto you office building’s rooftop
2) Stand on the edge
3) F
………a
……………l
……………………l

Performing any of these steps may result in the following outcomes:

- Torturous dream sequences while comatose
- Learning what it means to persevere
- Growing closer to those who love you

Or you could, y’know, DIE. Which almost happens to Blitzø.
Seriously, do not fucking try this at home.

Notes:

TW: Suicide references

Look, I’m gonna be honest: there’s a lot of hurt/comfort in this fic. Like a LOT. Except for the epilogue, which has a fluffy proposal. :)

If you’re looking for unconditionally fluffy stories, check out some other writers’ stuff or some of my fluff. But if you’re looking for some messy post-S2E2 Stolitz, then buckle up because this fic is a TRIP.

Hope you enjoy! <3

Special thanks to laytonesque and Phenex for beta reading!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Blitzø was standing on the roof of his apartment building, conflicted about whether he should sprint off the edge or curl up into a ball.

He didn’t mean it, right?

A fresh wave of tears streamed down his face, pushed back by the strong wind.

That letter, it couldn’t have been…

They had all returned to the office building after the wonderful firework show in LA. There was a frantic buzz in the air as they recounted their latest escapade. Everyone seemed okay, everything seemed okay, maybe they could finally be okay,

Blitzø squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. Why couldn’t they be okay?

When Stolas’s phone rang, he fished into his pocket and pulled it out before swiveling around and arguing with his wife in a hushed voice. He was too busy to notice the crumpled ball of paper fall out of his pocket.

“Hey Stolas, you dropped somethi-“ Was all Blitzø said before he read the page, and his heart broke.

It was a sketch of magical artifacts called “Asmodean crystals”. The description underneath described that they enabled not just demons but anyone to open gateways to the human realm.

Then it hit him. Blitzø’s breathing quickened as his thoughts descended in the same familiar spiral. No, nonononoNO please I don’t want to go please don’t get rid of me .

He turned the paper over. It was a letter, still legible despite all the scribbled-out words. Blitzø didn’t want to believe it, this wasn’t happening, Stolas wasn’t going to abandon him.

“This isn’t working.” We can work I promise I want this to work more than anything in the fucking world.

“Our last date-” Was the shittiest date ever I know but don’t leave you don’t have to I don’t want you to.

“This can’t go on.” Yes it can stay please Stolas just stay I just want you to stay.

“It’s over. Goodbye.” No…

Loona noticed him crying and walked over but by then it was all noise people talking and laughing while his world was burning down around him the noise and flames all blurred together into a fire too big to control engulfing everything and leaving nothing but ashes

too much

and the lights in the office were so bright like a spotlight the spotlight in the studio Stolas you were there you were the only one who laughed you saved me you loved me why are you leaving me now why why WHY

too much

Stolas looked so beautiful but so cruel how could he do this to him to them why Stolas why are you getting rid of me why couldn’t things change this time why does it always end up like this why can’t anyone love me why does everyone leave why why WHY

it was all too much and he couldn’t breath he needed air to go escape leave RUN!

TOO MUCH

By the time Stolas saw him holding the paper, it was too late. Blitzø just ran, away from Loona’s calls and further and further from Stolas’s cries until he seemed like a wishful dream. Because in the end, that’s all they were.

Blitzø pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket and stared down at it as he walked to the edge of the roof, waiting for the ink to melt off the page and disappear from his eyes. But the words were etched in stone, and Blitzø’s heart was the only thing bleeding. Dammit, this is all your fault! It was the paper’s fault, Stolas’s fault, his own fault, why did things have to end like this?

Frustration welled in his eyes as he flung the page into the wind. The paper flew a few inches in front of him before flying back into his face. Blitzø stumbled around blindly, flailing his arms around as he tried to peel the paper off.

He stumbled

Lost his footing

Tripped

Fell

!

This was it, wasn’t it? Well, it’s not like he didn’t expect this. At least had a good run, even though everyone had left him without fail. It was stupid to think that things could turn out differently, Stolas already proved that. So this was the only solution.

Not like anyone would miss him. Loona would be better off with a better parent, M&M couldn’t stand him anyways, and Stolas would just find another person to satisfy him. Everyone would be better off now that he was gone. 

Numbness swept his body as he tumbled off of the roof, the paper yanked off of him by the wind and swept away, his teardrops glinting like bloody diamonds in the red moonlight. Accident, attempt, none of it mattered anymore. He welcomed the sensation of falling, the freedom it offered his lost soul, the end to the tragic trainwreck of his life it offered.

But like some cosmic joke, someone grabbed him after he fell only a few feet. He could hear Stolas above him, trying to pull the imp back up as he sobbed and yelled and pleaded.

The only thing that Blitzø caught was a tearful “Why?” He wanted to grab the question and hurl it back into the crying owl’s face.

Blitzø couldn’t tell what was louder, the shouts of the crowd on the roof or the screams in his own head. His grip, on reality and his thoughts and Stolas’s arm, loosened. Nothing made sense anymore, all he knew was that the orange streets below and starry sky above were spinning and he was hovering in the air and he couldn’t breath and there was so much going on he couldn’t understand why everyone was here he couldn’t look Stolas in the eyes he couldn’t take it he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t

he

couldn’t

hold

on

...

..

.

Stolas’s tear-filled eyes was the last thing he remembered before he let go, and his world fell into darkness.

 

 

Like a withered petal, Blitzø drifted through his memories one by one.

It was impossible to tell what was real or not. Sometimes he felt like he was falling, other times he felt nothing. Sometimes he caught glimpses of voices — shaking, sobbing, impossible voices — and other times he was alone. Sometimes he couldn’t tell if he was alive or dead. It was so hard to tell.

 

The first scene he could remember slowly passing through was a dimly lit circus tent with faded stains on the cheap fabric and a glaring spotlight pointed at the center of the small stage. His family’s tent.

Blitzø was floating through the inky blackness like a snowflake in a long forgotten snowglobe of a long forgotten time, always drifting down until his world was shaken up again and he began the same damning cycle again. He let out a sigh of resignation. Oh well, might as well get this over with. Reluctantly, he turned his attention to the scene below.

There were all sorts of people packing the rows of benches, their laughing and jeering alike frozen in time, but what caught his eye was that everyone was there. Fizz was basking in the spotlight as he held the microphone, probably giving his hilarious stand-up routine as usual. As he descended downwards, he could see the familiar glint in his dad’s eyes at the front of the stage as he performed his role as ringleader at the front of the stage. His sister was near the back of the stage holding some knives and matches, waiting for her cue to start performing her daredevil stunts. And she wasn’t visible, but he knew that his mom was standing all the way in the back cheering them on. She always had the best smile.

But like an astronaut drifting through outer space, doomed to a fate of frigid loneliness, the imp helplessly gravitated closer and closer to the white beam of the spotlight. If Blitzø could have moved he would have been clawing at the air. He couldn’t go back. There was no way he could go back. He COULDN’T.

But it was too late.

When the spotlight hit him, the beam obliterated the world around him. Still, he could see the eyes all around him, feel them staring, watching, judging. All except for his crimson ones. So far away. So distant. So meaningless.

His heart stopped, his blood froze, the familiar sinking feeling grabbed his stomach and dragged him under. Here he was, the shitty clown with shitty jokes and shitty stage fright, for the entire world to see. He’d never felt so helpless in his life. He hated it so fucking much. He hated himself.

But after he fell out of the spotlight’s beam, everything was different. The tent had been decimated, burned scraps and broken rubble in its place. Ashes and discarded posters littered the torched ground. Everything was gone. Everyone was gone. Everyone, except for him, HIM. He was still sitting on the last wooden bench that remained. He had loved the imp despite everything, and then thrown that same love away so easily. He was the fucking worst.

Why did Stolas, the same cheery-eyed innocent child who was the only person that laughed at his jokes, why did he have to be here? Maybe it was because of how Stolas had hidden his warm eyes from the imp on their fucked date, maybe it was because the love in the owl’s eyes was replaced with lust, maybe it was because nowadays Stolas just looked at him like he was a piece of meat, but it hurt like hell to look into his wide, innocent eyes.

Until an Ozzie’s flier fluttered through the wind and covered Stolas for an instant. But that was all it took. Because in the blink of an eye, Stolas had vanished.

That really was all it took.

 

Blitzø felt himself slip back into consciousness as he now drifted through an empty kitchen. His mom always loved to keep the counters spotless and the sink empty. The only messy thing in the room was the fridge, which was packed with everything from family photographs to homemade birthday cards to scribbly crayon drawings. They were his favorite part of the kitchen.

The lights began to flicker.

Lights on.

He and his sister were holding a messily iced, lopsided cake to their mother, all of them laughing.

Lights off.

Arguing. Between who, he didn’t know. There was always arguing. Between his parents. His dad yelling at him for doing a “fucking half-assed shitty job”. There was always arguing. Until one day, when silence took hold of the house forever.

Lights on.

A teenage Blitzø was dressed in the only nice suit he owned. There was a vase with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand. Her favorite.

He couldn’t bear to look at the fridge anymore. The wounds were still fresh. The guilt was still too much.

Lights off.

Darkness, except for a small flame. Teenage Blitzø was standing in front of the fridge, holding a handful of family photographs and homemade birthday cards and messy crayon drawings up to a lighter. Without looking, he already knew that there was a beaten-up leather suitcase behind him. He’d stolen it from his dad. He’d stolen a lot of things from everyone.

After the flame had burned to his fingertips, the imp picked up the ashes, stared at them, then let them fall through his fingers. A few seconds later he picked up his suitcase and walked out the door, his hand still covered in soot. Maybe this would make things right. Maybe things could change. Maybe.

The lights stayed off.

 

Blitzø was hovering outside his apartment window, watching himself. It was the first day he’d moved in. He’d hung up some photographs of himself with his family. From the outside, Blitzø could see himself pause. The thoughts were probably taking hold. His emotions numbed, he witnessed as he pulled a marker from his pocket before scribbling himself out of every photo. And so it began.

It was a bad night. There were so many photographs on the wall. So many eyes. So many scribbles. So many EYES. Blitzø was sitting on the couch, hugging his knees as he rocked back and forth. They were staring at him. So guilty. They were judging him. So pathetic. They were all gone. So alone. 

It was the day he adopted Loona. She didn’t talk to him much that day. That was okay, it would probably take some time to adjust. He saw her walk into the apartment, look at the wall, and point at the photos. He still remembered the emotionless answer he gave her. As she walked into her room, he caught a fleeting glimpse of concern on her face. Then the walls came back up, and she just scowled. Funny. He had been so close to tearing them down. Maybe in another life.

It was the anniversary of his mother’s death. He had been scrolling through his photos on his phone when the calendar notification chined. Then it hit him, an uncontrollable frenzy of guilt and rage and sorrow that consumed him. He didn’t remember much, just that there was screaming. Lots of it. And yelling. And crying. Loona was home and came bursting out of her room at the sound of gunshots. He didn’t care. The first thing to go was his cell phone. Then the flower vase containing white lilies on the kitchen counter. Then the pictures on the wall, shooting every single smiling Blitzø square in the forehead. Then he pointed the gun at himself, and click . He didn’t know when he ran out of ammo. Just that he never wanted to see that look in Loona’s eyes again. Just that there was a lot of sobbing that night as he clutched the last remaining photo of his family to his chest. Just that there was too much regret. Too much pain.

Too much.

too much

 

.

.

.

“W a k e u p . . .”

 

Little to hold on to

If he could even hold on

Everyone had already left 

Soon it wouldn’t matter

 

W hy am I still here…

 

Slammed doors

Tearful nights

Angry texts

Your fault

 

A lone, all alone…

 

Goodbyes that were too quick

Obstacles that were too big

Needs that were too much

Everything was too good

 

K illing me…

 

Doomed to a life alone

Alone with nothing to remember

Remember all the wasted kindness

Kindness he would never feel again

 

E veryone’s gone…

 

“Wake up Blitzy…”

Hidden when he needed them most

Obscured by false intentions, until now

Pleading with him to come back

Every time, he thought about those eyes

 

“I miss you…”

Leaving the past

Into the future

Vanishing fears

Emerging hope

 

“I want to know why…”

Plunging off of the roof wasn’t the way

Angry at the world, at him, at himself

It was the worst decision of his life

Not worth leaving forever

 

I’m so sorry…”

Hello?

Oblivion, not yet

Must return

Everyone’s waiting

 

“I love you…”

 

Dear Stolas,

If I could get another chance to

 

Look you in the eyes and stop being an

Outcast to the world and less like a

Visitor in my own life then maybe I’d

Enjoy being your boyfriend like we’re

 

Young and dumb and in love and the

Only thing I want is to stay together 

Under the stars forever and ever.

 

There will be a next time, I promise.

Our fates are intertwined, love divine

Open your eyes for me one last time…

 

U pon a thread Blitzø felt himself hanging

P endant, swinging between light and dark

.

..

I can’t…

Is this goodbye?

..

I don’t know…

.

I don’t know

 

 

“What the hell do you mean he won’t wake up?!”

“Loona, dear, I’ve already tried everything. He’s hanging on, but only by a thread. Perhaps he needs time.”

“What he needed was your feathered ass to conjure up a trampoline or some shit, not to let him fall from the top of a FUCKING BUILDING!”

“I didn’t mean to, when I saw his eyes I just couldn’t-”

“Goddammit, is this a game to you?! Does Blitz even matter to you?!”

“He does, I swear! Listen, I-

“You listen to me Stolas. It’s been two days already and I’m getting tired of hearing your shit. I want him back!”

“I already told you, he won’t wake up! We can’t do anything right now!”

“I don’t care! BRING HIM BACK!”

“Loona…”

“Get away from me!” *THUD THud thud thud… . . .*

*sigh* “Blitzy… I… I can’t… I won’t lose you again. I promise.”

 

 

“I thought you said you tried everything.”

“Almost everything.

How badly do you want him back?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“I’ve been working on a secret project. My magic doesn’t extend to necromancy, but I’ve developed a serum made from agony lilies and bleeding roses that… recovers life. But it’s been months, and after hundreds of tests I still haven’t had a single subject that fully recovered. I’m afraid that there may be some permanent effects.”

“It won’t kill him though, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

“I’ll ask you again, how badly?”

“Shit. No. Yes. I don’t know. I just need him to wake up again!”

“So do I. I-I never should have let this happen.”

“You actually cared…”

“More than you could ever know. Satan, this is all because of that damn paper.”

“What paper?”

“*sigh* It was a diagram of Asmodean crystals. They’re powerful enough to open portals to the human realm. And on the back… I was confused, okay?! I didn’t know what in the HELL I was supposed to do, I wanted to ask Blitz that night, to set the record straight, to avoid all of this! But he got to the paper first. This is all my fault. I was weak.”

“Well you’re strong enough to fix this now. You’re going to cure Blitz and you’re going to set things straight, alright? Promise me.”

“…I promise. No matter how many tries it takes, or how far I have to go. Get some towels, some ice, and my grimoire.”

Receding footsteps.

Shaky hand on his shoulder.

Prick in his shoulder.

Gentle kiss on his forehead.

 

“Please work, for Blitzy.”

 

...

..

.

 

Prick

 

!

!!!

 

 

The first thing Blitzø remembered was pain. Unbridled, excruciating pain, like a million flaming daggers were tearing his body open. Bones shattering, blood boiling, nerves burning, his body screamed out in agony. Maybe he did too. Everything was a nightmarish blur.

So many faces flickering in and out and everywhere. So many voices swarming him like locusts. So many regrets, so, so many. It. Was. Torture.

As he thrashed in the bed, fragments of voices washed over him. Something about grabbing a book, but maybe that was a dream. All of it was a dream, it had to be! Dad was in the corner smoking a cigarette and Fizz was telling a joke to Barbie and Mom was… she was right there. All he had to do was reach out. To embrace the pain, and let all of his self-destructive suffering go. There was nothing left for him here.

“Blitzy! Please!”

A few minutes after I dropped Stolas at his place after that nightmare of a date and sped off in the company van, it started raining. Fuck me for not getting the wipers replaced. Wish I could wipe everything away. Hard as shit to see but I could get through it. I could get through anything that bitch of a devil down here threw at me. 

As I sped through the streets going twenty over (naturally), I couldn’t stop my shitty thoughts from wandering. Did things really have to end like that? Is there going to be a next time? Will I ever get that book back?

I slammed the steering wheel and cursed. Goddammit. It wasn’t about the book, was it? It was about that desperate, rich, oblivious, pretty, lovely owl. The way he would invite me into his greenhouse, or into his kitchen, or into his study, or into his life for no ulterior motive other than my companionship. The way I could melt in his arms and snuggle up next to him after a long day. The way he made me feel like I wasn’t worthless, that I could change, that I deserved to be loved.

And he was ashamed of me.

Who wouldn’t be, though?

Dammit…

Pretty soon it wasn’t the windshield making my vision blurry, but the stupid water welling in my stupid eyes as I drove my stupid self to my stupid apartment to live the rest of my stupid life. Without him.

Satan, I’m so stupid.

..

“Wake up!”

Those eyes.

As I fell off of that roof, Stolas’s wide red eyes with those small white pupils were my entire world. It’s funny. I used to love staring into those eyes as he’d ramble on about stars or plants or loving myself. But now? Those eyes were my worst nightmare.

You know that saying, that a picture is worth a thousand words or some shit? Yeah, they’re way off, because those eyes in that instant screamed a billion things at me. What are you doing? Was it my fault? Why are you leaving? Why couldn’t this work? Why, Blitzy? Why?

Stolas probably knew the answer, he saw the paper as well as I did as it flew off of the roof. Those eyes, though. They yearned, craved, pleaded, begged, and, as I plummeted to an uncertain doom, cried.

No, this wasn’t right. Were those the eyes that severed their love for me like a cheap rope, or the eyes of someone capable of loving even a screw-up like me, someone who’d just made a mistake and would do anything to take it back?

Those eyes loved me, and I loved them right back. Yet here we were. Paralyzed in unspoken words and irredeemable actions. Eyes wide and full of regrets and letting our tears get lost in the night. About to be separated forever, but

I

need

to

stay

.

 

.

 

.

stay…

..

STAY!!!

Stolas was right in front of him, holding the imp’s face in both of his hands and shouting something as tears streamed from his desperate eyes. Amidst his pained cries and scrambled visions, though, it was all a noisy blur. But even as every atom in his body yelled out in pain, he was determined not to give up, and he fought like the stubborn bastard he was. Stolas, Loona, Moxxie and Millie, they were his anchor, his world, his everything, and he wasn’t going to leave them behind, not again.

Everything faded to black eventually, but Blitzø didn’t have a clue what happened before then. He remembered something about a book and a vial somewhere, their presence followed by blissful release. There were overwhelming waves of terror and hurt both in his head and in the room, but quiet wisps of hope enveloped him. Did he mention how the incident was genuinely an accident, or that he was ready to forgive Stolas, or that he was sorry and he loved Stolas and he’d never leave again not for anything in the world? Maybe. Maybe not.

All he knew was that somehow, someway, he eventually felt his grip on consciousness slip, and the nightmares took him back into their gruesomely comforting clutches.

 

 

The moment Blitzø’s eyes fluttered open, he was surprised at how much everything hurt.

He groaned as he rolled his head to the side on the fluffy pillow, feeling the aches and bruises lining his body. He must’ve taken quite the beating. At least he was well-rested. Those warm, heavy sheets on top of him really helped.

What had even happened? Probably a really bad trapeze accident or some botched mission or something. There was a letter, although he couldn’t remember what it was about. So many memories to sift through, so many dreams to Then it hit him. The roof. Running. Lights. Stumbling. Falling. Tears. Falling. Voices. Falling. PAIN. Falling. Blitzø squeezed his eyes shut. Honestly he’d been hoping that it had just been another bad dream.

Whatever the case, Blitzø had long overstayed his welcome. As he was about to shuffle out of bed, though, he felt something latched onto him. When he turned his head (easier said than done in his current state, but nothing the hardened assassin couldn’t handle) to look behind him, he saw Stolas’s arm gripping onto him like an anchor. Blitzø tried to pull away, but Stolas held on tighter, murmuring something in his sleep with a tight frown. Great. Flopping back onto the bed, the imp started to let out a sigh, before his chest screamed out in protest and he resigned himself to shallow breaths.

As he laid in the bed, he noticed something odd about the room he was in. The room was dark, save for a stream of faint moonlight trickling through a curtained window. Yet despite the darkness, Blitzø still noticed how… normal the room was. Unlike the massive caverns adorned with enormous portraits and glittering diamond chandeliers that Stolas dragged him through during their “dates”, this room was only about as large and tall as the main area of his apartment. Where did this simple place come from? Certainly not from Stolas’s asshole ancestors. 

What surprised him even more was the mahogany bedside table next to him or, more specifically, what was on it: photographs. Moonlight glinted off of the slender glass photo frames propped up on the dresser. Upon closer examination, they were all moments that he and Stolas had shared together. At Loo Loo Land, the night after being kidnapped on Earth, so many moments they’d shared together.

And he’d almost lost them all. Blitzø felt his eyes start to water and tried to blink the tears away, but they surged forward. He reached toward one of the photos, where both of them were caught mid-laugh on Stolas’s bedroom balcony, and tried to turn it face-down. Paused. Reached. Hesitated. Let his arm weakly flop downwards onto the base of the table. He really was weak.

Right when he was about to call it a night, Blitzø felt a drawer slightly ajar beneath him. Curious, he wedged his hand inside and wedged the drawer open, groping around until he found a small pile of crumpled papers. Letters, he found out after reading the first few. Scrapped invitations to live with Stolas at his mansion, to make what they had work, to start over and get it right this time. Letter after letter he tore through, until his heart couldn’t bear the weight of his mistakes and he shoved them back into the drawer. What the fuck have I done…?

That night, Blitzø cried himself to sleep.

 

 

He was back.

The concrete sprawled out beneath him, the smoggy air and blinding neon signs filling his senses.

The roof had never been so cold before.

Almost instinctively, Blitzø reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes and golden lighter. He’d stolen it after assassinating a kingpin ages ago. Hasn’t been able to quit since.

In the blink of an eye the paper tube found its way into his hand, the black tobacco beckoning his other to light it on fire. Let it burn as he poisoned himself. Breath in regret, exhale hope. Lose himself in the cycle again.

This isn’t right… Of course it was. This is the way things have always been. Fuck up, sink deeper, repeat. Why bother hoping for anything different? There was nothing left for him to try for.

His hands were visibly shaking now as his entire body trembled, like a leaf caught in a storm of his own making. No… there has to be another way…

All this space and the walls still closed in on him. All these choices and yet only one remained. All those moments, wasted. *click* Just one more hit. *click* Just one more regret.

NO! Mustering what remained of his crumbling resolve, he dropped the lighter, which fell to the concrete with a useless *thunk*, and let the lit cigarette slip from his fingers.

Just as he was about to stamp out the smoldering paper, the lights dimmed. Lights? Stage lights. They’d all been trained on him, but they swiveled to face someone in the audience. Thank Satan, performing for a crowd again was unbearable. He hated performing. Yet now the mask he wore was his entire life.

The spotlights focused on a table across the roof. It was him and Stolas, both avoiding each other's eyes as they sat at a fancy table, universes apart. What was in Blitzø’s eyes was obvious. Fear, regret, stubbornness, the same bitter cocktail every time. But Stolas’s eyes… Where were they?

No matter how hard the imp tried, the lights were too blinding for him to see those eyes. Were they upset? Disappointed? Blitzø didn’t know which was worse. Let me look into your eyes… Were they the same as last time, or something new? Tell me!

The spotlights faded into a cruel darkness, and all but the owl’s figure receded with the light. He stood up, Stay… please… and began to walk away.

Tears streamed down Blitzø’s cheeks as he sprinted after Stolas in the darkness, never seeming to catch up despite the impossibility of it all. An impossible dream, doomed from the start, impossible, impossible, damn it all he’d chase him until the end of time! Desperation filled Blitzø’s voice as he opened his mouth to shout, “Come back! I’m sorry! I love you too!”, but nothing came out. The words never came out.

A fantasy, this never ending nightmare was a shitty masquerade that he’d perpetuated. So run and run and run in his own fucked up maze was all he could do until he reached an inevitable end, still lost in the throes of this neverending hell of chasing fantasies.

The cigarettes in his pocket grew heavier, dragging him down with each step. As he reached into his pocket and pulled them out, Blitzø was astonished to see writing on them. The same writing from that fateful night. Those twisted words, almost as twisted as his beautiful eyes and comforting embrace. Tearing the cigarettes out from his pocket, he let them fall through his fingers. The whole world could BURN for all he cared, all he wanted was for the ashes of their love to not slip through his fingers. Not again.

Chase resumed, the imp’s body ached as he chased Stolas, the owl’s face still shrouded by darkness. A few miles away, a few feet, it all looked the same in the darkness anyways. He still crept closer, desperately clawing at the galaxies that separated them, closer, fate sealed but maybe if he could just see those eyes, closer, almost there, closer…

Just as he was about to reach Stolas, the darkness opened up beneath Blitzø and swallowed him up whole. But as he fell, he saw those eyes peer down into the abyss from above.

Those eyes… they were beautiful

They were crying.

 

 

When Blitzø’s nightmare ended, he shot up in bed and immediately regretted it. Oh right, he fell off a fucking roof. His entire body throbbing with a white-hot pain unlike any he’d ever felt before, Blitzø clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, but still let out soft whimpers. He sounded like a damn toddler. Soft breathing from behind. Shit. Don’t wake up. Can’t handle this right now. I’m fine Stolas please don't wake up I’m not worth your time please. At least the tear-stained pillow dampened his voice so his cries hopefully wouldn’t reach the owl’s ears.

He wasn’t quiet enough, though, because a few moments later he felt the slumbering owl next to him stir. “Mmm, Blitzy?”

No response. Leave me alone, I’m fine. I can handle this. Please, go back to bed. Stop making me feel like this. Stop caring about someone as broken as me.

Stolas rolled towards him anyways, inches away from his back. “Are you in pain?” No, Blitzø wanted to say, I’m a-okay and I’ve been through worse and you don’t need to worry about me, but all he could do was let out a low growl akin to a wounded animal. Warning Stolas not to come closer, simultaneously drowning in his own suffering.

Yet even if he could get up and leave, he wouldn’t. Too broken to pick up all the pieces. Too lonely to let go. Too miserable to give up. Too much.

It felt so good when Stolas touched him. All he expected from letting someone get too close to him was pain. Sudden, eventual, the kind that crept over him like a shadow and never left. But the owl’s feathered digits running along his back sent warm shocks up his spine. Like an electric hug, how Stolas knew all the right chords to play to turn Blitzø’s sadness into melodious bliss. His embrace just felt so fucking GOOD.

Maybe that’s why his resolve crumpled and he found himself sobbing. Because he’d never felt so happy before, like he could gaze into the future instead of being flung into the past. Because he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t let himself enjoy it. Because he was lost and alone and confused, yet Stolas was hellbent on giving him the love he clearly didn’t deserve.

“Oh dear, am I hurting you?” Stolas’s hand recoiled at the sound of the imp’s hoarse sobbing, and Blitzø felt the massive void in his heart reopen again. If anything, he was the one hurting Stolas. It was always Blitzø’s fault. That just made the tears flow faster.

Amidst his guile, Blitzø choked out “No… please… closer…” Thankfully, Stolas understood, and his entire arm wrapped around Blitzø’s abdomen, like a fluffy vine coiling around his body. Then another. Soon his entire body was entangled in Stolas’s grasp, the owl’s soft head resting on his shoulder as he cradled the imp.

“You always look so pretty when you fall asleep.” Stolas stroked his cheek as he said that in the kind of way that made him feel cherished, worth something, loved. He’s just using you as a plaything , that voice in his head wanted to shout, but playthings don’t get held like this. Lovers did. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe.

“You too…” How Blitzø missed his own words right now! Day or night Stolas was an angel, an affectionate and kind kid at heart, the reason that he kept putting one foot in front of another. He was the sun, the moon, all the stars in between, and so much more. Nothing could describe how he felt about Stolas, the sparkle in his eyes and endearing quirks and dorky mannerisms and to hell with it if this was an unrequited love he’d love all the same.

All he wanted was to wake up the next morning, still in his beautiful boyfriend's affectionate arms, and smile. He’d been faking it for so long. The wounds had been open for so long. He’d been running for so long. But tomorrow could wait, because all he wanted to say today, as the snuggly fluff on his back and heavy blanket on his stomach lulled him to sleep, was “I love you…”.

Did Stolas smile? Probably. Maybe it was the façade of a lighthearted grin from all those lifetimes ago when they were still playing pretend. Or the trembling one Stolas gave him when the imp opened his eyes, a sea of unimaginable sadness with inklings of hope shining through. All he knew was that somehow, someway, he eventually let go of his hold on consciousness, and the wistful dreams of a brighter tomorrow welcomed him into their comforting glow.

 

Waking up feeling like death itself had curbstomped you last night was bound to put anyone in a foul mood, and Blitzø was no exception the next morning.

Back to reality. Where was he again? The stained-glass balcony door shone with morning light across the room, but the bed was draped in a gloomy, dismal darkness. Somehow it felt darker. The voices knew. And he was too weak, too tired to fight them off, to stop them from taking a hold of him and squeezing all the happiness out.

Last night was magical, but he was ready to accept reality and languish in bed with his familiar demons beside him all day. Who cared if it was a new day? He was ready to fall back into the comfort of yesterday’s hold. It was too hard to try. Too dangerous to care. Too hopeless to love.

So why did it feel like a part of his soul was missing when he couldn’t feel Stolas’s warmth besides him in bed? Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Stolas had a good reason, but that didn’t stop the shadows from resurfacing from the depths of his mind. He cared about me? As if! He loved me… When he found out I wasn’t any good in this state, he took the chance to flee. That’s not true… I really didn’t mean anything to him.

Suddenly he found himself craving the safety of the owl’s presence. He drove his nightmares away. He made the nights feel less dark. He could make him feel something other than misery.

A knock at the open door. Of course it was Stolas. When it came to Blitzø he was always so uptight but considerate . “Blitzy? Are you awake?”

“Mmm.” He was ashamed of how much energy that single moan took out of him. This was embarrassing, all his life he’d been able to handle his demons on his own, he’d always been strong enough to pretend . He needed to be alone with him . He was fine no I’m dying !

“I can help you up, if you’d like.” No! He tried to shift his weight onto his outstretched arm, but his bones felt like they’d been shattered and crumpled.  Searing pain accompanied every jerk of his arms as he rolled over in bed, sparks flying past his eyes. Why did he always have to play the tough guy? “I… I’m…”

in agony, not fine, all alone, the room’s spinning and i can’t think straight spinning just spinning in circles in the same damn loop spinning the pain’s sending me spinning the nightmares send me spinning on the roof i was spinning when i fell i was spinning everywhere i’m spinning but when i’m with you when you hold me in your arms when the world’s full of voices and chaos and i don’t know what to do you you YOU

when you ran towards the bed and scooped me up, one arm cradling my legs and the other planted beneath my back, when you carried me out of the dark corner of the bedroom and towards the brightness of the balcony door, when you leaned down and placed that same gentle kiss on my forehead from ages ago

the world stopped spinning

your eyes stopped hiding

i stopped spiraling

and i started sobbing

you knew the tears weren’t from the physical pain, yet you didn’t say a word that whole morning

and as we sat on the balcony that morning watching the sunrise, you helping me drink the tea you spent all morning brewing, i knew

i finally got the new beginning that i’d been searching for all this time

i finally stopped going nowhere

i finally found you

 

 

Despite everything, it had been a fantastic day. Stolas had loaned his Grimoire to I.M.P to take care of his “appearances” — fancy talk for magicky conjuring-type shit — for the day, so they could spend the rest of the day together. After finding a wheelchair and lowering Blitzø into one, they spent the rest of the day strolling in Stolas’s garden, reading from his library, and binging cheesy hella-novellas.

The perfect day, really. At least, for a normal couple. One that didn’t avert their gaze every time the other looked at them, or tiptoe around conversations like they were minefields. One that didn’t question the feelings they had for the other everytime they thought about how much they’d fucked up in the past, thoughts dying off and voice tapering off when the doubt took hold of them. One that didn’t feel shitty for being together. They were not a happy couple.

Still, it had been a fantastic day.

The incapacitated imp couldn’t do much except grunt a couple words here and there, but Stolas was fine with doing most of the work. Not to explain their relationship, though. And the talking. Except for about the previous night, a topic he fervently avoided. And the muttering. Especially after he’d shown Blitzø the field of flowers he’d cultivated for the cure, before his smile withered away and quiet agony, in the way he moved and stared and sighed, blossomed in its place.

They shared the silences, so heavy it crushed Blitzø, knowing he’d almost thrown all of it away. From the way that Stolas gazed at him, eyes swimming with tender affection with an underlying swirl of fear and guilt, he felt the same way, too. But they kept their mouths shut and shared the silences, too scared of the unsaid words hanging over their heads.

Until they got in bed together that night, and the distance between them crumbled.

They were on opposite ends of the bed, universes apart from each other and drifting further away each moment. Stolas tossed and turned, the lopsided mattress creaking a familiar tune. Snatching a pillow from the middle of the bed and pulling it close to his chest. Stopping. Setting it back down. Sighing. Suffering. Silence.

It was heartbreaking, seeing Stolas approach him only to recoil in an unspoken terror. Awkwardly dancing around each other like two planets separated by invisible tensions, their love pulling them closer and closer to each other, until they’d almost collide but something would yank them apart and they’d enter the same lonely dance all over again. 

“Good night, Blitzy.” Stolas turned onto his side, facing away from the imp. What had happened to the warm, ardent owl who had loved him all day? Unless that memory was another dream he was going to wake up from. Did he ever underneath the mask? No, it couldn’t have been an act! Stop running Stolas, please-

“Wait…” Arm trembling from the strain, he reached his shaking hand towards Stolas. When Stolas turned and saw his arm, he hesitated, then shifted towards Blitzø. Not close enough for them to embrace each other, but enough to hold hands. A start. “Talk…”

That single word hit Stolas like a bullet, his bright red eyes widening in shock before he sighed and laid on the bed facing up. “What else is there to say?”

Blitzø, with much effort, mimicked his motion so that both of them were staring at the ceiling. “Everything…”

Moved to touch Stolas’s hand. The owl’s slid away. Touch. Go. Chased. Receded. “Stop it.” “Why…?” “I just can’t. It’s too hard.” “To…?”

“To love you, okay?!” Voice rising, he turned back around in bed to face away from the imp and curled up, breathing too heavy to hear Blitzø’s heart shatter into a million pieces. “Every time I'm with you, you’re miserable because I-I’m controlling you! I wanted you to be happy so badly, I even considered breaking up with you that night! Then you had that accident and I couldn’t even save you then and now we’re back in the same cycle and you’ll never be the same and you deserve someone better than me!” Hugging his knees to his chest, his gasps melted into cries, and for a while they just laid there, until Blitzø’s hand reached over to grab the owl’s hand again. This time, he didn’t let go. 

As he pushed his fingers through Stolas’s, he brought his fingertips down to clasp around Stolas’s soft palm. “You’re too good… to say stuff like that… Stols…” Hmm. Stols. It was a name that had just sounded right in the moment. Stolas the regal prince, Stols the caring lover. Finally, the blur of those two images separated in his mind’s eye, further and further until on one side he had a hollow shadow, definite in its newfound uncertainty, and on the other he had his sniffling boyfriend laying next to him.

Blitzø couldn’t see his eyes. But he didn't need to. He knew what they held now.

“Don’t cry…” As he squeezed his hand, his other arm came over and laid on his chest. “You’re too pretty…”

Hesitant to accept Blitzø’s touch, Stolas took Blitzø’s hands and pulled himself closer to the imp. His sobs persisted, but they seemed quieter now. “But every time I close my eyes I see yours as you fall from that damn building all over again. I don’t know whether I’m going crazy or if you’re crazy for loving a failure like me, I just- I don’t know.”

A hoarse laugh wracked Blitzø’s body, the rusty sound causing the owl to wrap himself around Blitzø’s back and hold the imp close to his chest, like he was afraid of him flying away and becoming one of the stars. “We’re so similar…” Blitzø smiled as he felt the owl’s warm fluff cradling his body, the only thing that made the pain go away. “That's why I know…”

They were curled up in the middle of the bed, one physically holding the other but both sharing the weight of each other’s fears and guilts and insecurities. The cozy blankets and the cozy heat and the cozy partner they held in each other’s arms made this the coziest place in Hell. The safest. The most forgiving. The best.

“you love me…”

Stolas’s breathing finally returned to normal after a while, his hand idly stroking the imp’s cheek with painstaking care. There must have been a million thoughts running through his head, about Blitzø and their situation and his own past and what if he’d been better and he would never forgive himself. But when he looked down, he must have seen the reflection of his own regrets in Blitzø’s tight-lipped frown, illuminated by soft moonlight, and decided to believe in a second chance, because his body relaxed and they melted into each other.

“and I love you…”

Both of them were smiling as they finally dozed off, ready to tackle whatever lay ahead of them, to grow closer through it all, to learn how to love again. Because there was always tomorrow. And no matter how bad yesterday was, no matter how long it took, they would take it one step at a time and embrace the promise of a brighter future.

The pain was over. Now it was time to heal.

 

 

With a jolt, Blitzø’s eyes snapped open as his body flew into an upright position. Mind racing. Heart pounding. Breathing shallow. Damn it, not again. Thought I was done having those fucking nightmares by now.

The bedroom was so quiet, it made the whispers in his head shouts. Dammit, alright let’s see, something to focus on… can barely see shit because of how dark it is… and stormy… this is pretty nice…

Nope, nopenopeNOPE I remember now, all those family photos we hung up were burning… Stolas was nowhere to be found… Stolas… Stols! You there?! Oh good, you’re right next to me… snoring away with that dreamy smile on your face… I wonder if you’re dreaming of me…? You’re so adorable when you’re not worrying about random shit, heh… wish I could join you in that dream of yours…

Deep breaths, like you taught me, in, out, in, out, think happy thoughts, don’t let the monsters in, think happy thoughts…

 

 

“Are you sure about this Stols?”

They were in Stolas’s garden again, the earthy smell of fresh cut grass and flower sap permeating the air. Stolas had just pushed his wheelchair to a small expanse of fresh soil, small tufts of grass poking out from underneath the brown blanket, and was kneeling down beside him. The sun was out and a gentle breeze blew past them and Stolas was reassuring him with a smile which made the imp smile but he was SCARED. Especially since Stolas was asking the impossible out of him.

“I’m positive that you’re ready.” That look Stolas gave him, it made him want to latch onto that seed of faith and believe. But… but!

“But what if I fall?” Like on that roof, Satan, what if he plummeted down to the pits of darkness all over again?! What if-

“I’ll pick you back up, and we'll try again another day.” No, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand!

“But I’m not ready!” Why’d Stolas have to look at him with those kind, patient eyes? Why couldn’t he mock him or yell at him like everyone else? 

“What makes you say that?” Why couldn’t the owl hurt him? It’d make it so much easier…

“Come on Blitzy, tell me what’s wrong…” The spotlight was on again. All those eyes, the millions of faces from his past, they STARED. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. Just like Stolas’s had all those years ago.

“I-I’m… I’m weak…” But Stolas’s gaze had returned into his life. Somehow aware of what was going on, though, because he brought his hand over and cupped his cheek, lovingly stroking it with his thumb.

“What a silly thing to believe. Blitzy, I know that you’re strong enough to handle this. I know how strong you are. And you do too.” Somehow, that did it for Blitzø.

Alright, deep breaths. Hands on armrests, push, PUSH! Foot dangling, almost there, about to sink into the soil, almost, almost…!

 

 

With a jolt, Blitzø’s eyes snapped open as his body flew into an upright position. Mind racing. Heart pounding. Breathing shallow. The first terror-filled night like this of many, no doubt. At least Stolas was fast asleep next to him…

Stolas? His mind, which had already been through hell, began racing with endless gruesome possibilities. Each passing section without his anchor to reality made him drift off into his spiraling thoughts, pulling him under as the whirlpool swirled and swirled and swirled and

desperate to feel something, anything, he rolled towards the end of the bed which the crutches Stolas gave him last week were leaning on and grabbed them.

 

Stolas was near the back of his greenhouse when Blitzø finally found him, after an eternity of searching for the owl. He was about to call his name, but something compelled him to stop.

The overcast night meant that no moonlight could penetrate the garden, leaving the sanctuary in cold darkness. All the lights were off in the glass building for a lantern in front of the weary owl, the dim flame flickering in the wind. Next to it was a pile of discarded syringes, stained with a familiar crimson liquid. Crumpled papers and gray feathers were scattered everywhere along the wooden work table, the animated owl dropping a few more feathers as he shakily brought the syringe up to his neck. “This should finally make the pain go away”, he muttered as he was about to plunge the needle into himself, driven by some unspeakable madness of his own.

Maybe they were more similar than either of them knew.

But when Stolas turned his head and saw Blitzø standing there, staring at him as tears silently slid down his cheeks, the syringe slipped from his hands and shattered on the hard dirt below.

Stolas… he was… about to…!

 

 

And he was back, having to yank himself out of his own thoughts before the bed gave way beneath him and he plummeted back into the familiarly gut wrenching freefall.

Satan, what the fuck is wrong with me?! Can’t even keep my shit together! With a trembling sigh, he shimmied himself closer to Stolas and latched onto the owl’s fluffy torso. Maybe he really wasn’t ready for all of this. After all, what could he even give Stolas that he didn’t already have? If anything, he was just a useless burden. Maybe it would’ve been better if he’d have just-

With a jolt, Stolas’s eyes snapped open as his body flew into an upright position. Mind racing. Heart pounding. Breathing shallow. 

Blitzø’s hold on the sleeping owl was broken as Stolas flew upright, waiting for Stolas’s panting to subside before tentatively asking, “Stols?”

The sound of the imp’s coarse voice seemed to be more alarming than the dream he’d just had, because he practically jumped straight up in the air. “Gah, Blitzy?!” After settling down, clutching his heaving chest, his gaze lowered. “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nope. Just another one of those nights.” Blitzø shuffled towards Stolas and tried to cocoon the blanket his arms around the owl’s body again.

It took a while for Stolas to return the embrace, and when he did he just lay flat on his back, motionless. “I wish I could just forget…”

Curious, he poked his head over Stolas’s shoulder, but the owl’s eyes were a dull crimson, unaware of the imp’s bright yellow eyes beside him. “Forget what?”

Still within Blitzø’s arms, Stolas turned onto his side and sighed. “All the mistakes I’ve made. I just want let go of all the bad things, but I can’t.”

Blitzø let out a sharp laugh, followed by a small coughing fit. “That includes me, you know.”

Stolas, although he didn’t turn around, noticeably tensed up in protest at the imp’s remark. “No, Blitzy, don’t say that. If anything, you’re perfect just the way you are. I don’t even know where I’d be without you.”

Holding the owl like Stolas had held him so long ago, Blitzø massaged the owl’s shoilders, feeling him relax as he said, “Isn’t it funny that I feel the same exact way about you? Eventually we’ll be able to let our demons go and move on, but it takes time, Stols. So much time. But no matter what, I’ll always be here for you.”

A soft drop came from Stolas’s side of the bed and when he spoke again, his voice wavered. “How can you say that? How can you still love me? How…?”

The room was perfectly still at this point, with the only sounds being Stolas’s contented breathing and Blitzø’s soothing voice. “Because I’ll always love you, Stols.

No matter how rough it gets.

No matter how long it takes.

We’ll get through this.

No matter what

It’ll never be too hard to love you.”

Before they fell asleep, Blitzø brought the owl closer to him and they shared a tender kiss. Stolas didn’t say I love you back. But he didn’t have to. He knew. They knew. All that was left to say was

“Good night…”




Epilogue

 

Lifetime

 

Blitzø always loved the woods behind the circus.

Those sunlight patches of greenery were his kingdom, his sanctuary, his everything. The endless expanse of trees and wildlife were the only place where his problems didn’t feel so small, where he felt at home while his world burned down around him. When the voices got too loud, he could find a patch on the ground, sit on the ground, and simply exist. As the world came to life around him, leaves rustling, butterflies drifting, songbirds chirping, his worries melted away, and he could truly open his eyes.

So when Stolas proposed that they take a camping trip during Valentine’s Day, he immediately jumped on the offer. Which surprised Stolas, since the owl had only briefly entertained the idea right before proposing a rendezvous at their favorite restaurant, a fancy revolving dome with a glass floor located so high above the city that the buildings looked like blades of grass. And some killer strawberry cake. But nevertheless he agreed, laughing about how cliché a dinner date would’ve been anyways.

Moxxie and Millie were probably at that same restaurant right now, Loona and Octavia were at a monster truck rally, Stolas got the day off from Lucifer himself, it was perfect timing really.

How perfect, he wasn’t aware of until later that day.

It was nearly sunset, and the couple had just finished packing up their gear. Blitzø’s legs still weren’t quite as suited for outdoor activities since the accident, but Stolas was nothing if not understanding. They’d spent the morning fishing and birdwatching, grilled up some fresh fish and wild mushrooms for lunch, then hiked through the dense forest for the rest of the afternoon, their voices echoing through the woods as they chatted and laughed and bonded.

But all good things had to come to an end, so here Blitzø was, sitting on a tree stump at the edge of the forest. There was a large clearing in front of him, the ground sloping downwards in front of him at a steep angle that gave him a breathtaking view of the sunset.

But he couldn’t focus on that right now, he had to focus on the wooden object in front of him. Wood shaving drifted to the ground as he continued to whittle away at his project, racing to finish his project before Stolas came back from a golden eagle hunt (a dumb task Blitzø had suggested to buy himself time). Whatever. He’d booked them a reservation at the revolving restaurant. And when they got there, he’d sneak Stolas’s present into his dessert. 

The idea had struck him a few hours ago, really. He’d seen an inexplicably gorgeous branch fallen on the ground with the perfect diameter, so he slipped it into his pocket along with his bottle of superglue and…

engagement ring

Yep, he was carving a wooden engagement ring. Which sounded like a stupid idea, but something about the way the branch called to him, it gave him a crazy idea.

But if plunging a knife into expensive jewelry to pry a beautiful purple gemstone out and glue it to a wooden ring, humming with some kind of energy, was crazy enough, it just might work.

Almost… done! Blitzø triumphantly held up the ring, admiring how the jewel and band caught the orange sunlight, before he settled back onto the treetop. Trying not to worry about if this ring was perfect enough for the perfect boyfriend. Just dangling his legs off the stump and watching the sunset. The liberating woodsy smell filled his lungs as the symphony of waning birdsongs and gentle breezes sounded. Dangling his legs, like he was still hanging on to the edge of the rooftop, about to fall.

He clenched his eyes shut as he was momentarily transported back to that fateful day. The suffocating smog wrapped around his mind as the ceaseless din of traffic wailed on below him. Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch.

Except he wasn’t in the city anymore. He wasn’t spinning in circles and going nowhere. He wasn’t alone. He was loved, and going to propose to the love of his life and the past was behind him because he was happy now.

A smile forming on his lips as he tucked that bit of closure away in his mind, Blitzø’s eyes drifted open

and he came face to face with a baby owl.

Here’s the thing about owls in hell. Their feathers are pitch black, which only accentuate their glowing red eyes. Their bird calls are so maniacal that it could send shivers down even the assassin’s spine. They’re vicious as hell. Go batshit insane at the slightest twitch. And he once saw a flock of them devour a deer, bones and all, in six seconds flat. So in retrospect, yelling “Deep fried Satan on a stick stay back you fucking demon!” was probably not the best idea.

Luckily, the owl just cocked its head, gazing at the flummoxed imp with wide, innocent eyes as it let out a shrill cheep! Immediately after that, several large owls landed beside the owlet, their feathers rustling with anticipation as they too watched the imp.

So this is how I die. Huh. At least it’s a cool way to go. Inching away from the brood as silently as possible, Blitzø tried to hide behind a tree, but before he could two of the owls flew straight at him. He brought his hands in front of his face to shield himself, but all he felt were two strong gusts of wind flapping in front of him followed by something heavy landing on both of his shoulders. To his amazement, when he lowered his arms, the two owls perched on him were simply looking at him, then made a few chittering calls to each other (Blitzø could’ve sworn they were saying “This is the guy? Really?” “Wasn’t expecting that.”), then turned around and stared deep into the forest.

Blitzø finally put two and two together. “Stolas, you scared the shit out of me! Was using owl hierarchy mumbo jumbo on me really necessary?” As he looked behind him, he saw four red eyes gazing back at him, a hint of a smile in each of them. “To be fair, you led me on a wild eagle chase. I’m just returning the favor.” Stolas sounded like he wanted to say something, but after a while he hung his head and muttered, “This is probably a stupid idea.”

When Stolas stepped out of the shadows, he was wearing a crisp black tuxedo, and the imp’s heart stopped. He already knew what was coming, the tension in the air had already turned electric, but he also knew that Stolas wouldn’t take the final step without some encouragement. “Come on Stols, you can’t just make an entrance like that without following it up. I know you have a surprise for me.”

Stolas reached into his pocket, holding the l square object like he was weighing it. “I guess I do…”

Say it…

As Stolas approached him, the owls fluttered into the tree beside them, observing from the branches now shrouded in pale moonlight. “Look, we’ve been through so much together, and I was wondering if, you know, you’d like to stay together like this, for a while longer, or maybe forever.”

Say it!

Even as he got on one knee and pulled the black box out of his pocket, his voice trembled as he recited, “Blitzy, would you make me the happiest demon in all of Hell and marry me…?”

Before he could even open the box Blitzø was on him, tackling the owl to the ground as he hugged and kissed and cried “Yes! Yes! Abso-fucking-lutely yes!” The owls sitting in the tree were happily hooting in the tree as Blitzø finally rolled off of Stolas, who had a smitten grin on his face, and pulled him off of the ground, his suit now stained with dirt. “Whoops, sorry about the tux, heh.”

Stolas just dreamily replied “It’s alright”, too lost in his own world of happy thoughts to even remember giving Blitzø the ring. He couldn’t blame the owl, honestly, he was feeling giddy himself. He’d just gotten engaged! Him! The same imp who was convinced they were unlovable! That they’d be alone forever! Who’d almost died! He was going to get MARRIED! All of it was enough to make his head spin. Not to mention the magical ring Stolas had eventually revealed to him, the shiny material reflecting a kaleidoscopic view of galaxies far and wide, yet still versatile and sleek enough to not hinder him during missions. It was perfect. Stolas was perfect. Everything was perfect, and that was a damn good feeling to feel.

But, like all good things, the night eventually had to come to an end. After waving goodbye to the celebrating owls, Stolas, who was still wiping his eyes, opened a portal back to their mansion. “Well, that’s the end of that. Guess it’s time to call it a night, Blitzy.”

Or is it?

Right before Stolas stepped through, Blitzø grabbed his arm and said “You know Stols, I actually got us a reservation at that restaurant you like, maybe we could grab a bite to eat and some of that strawberry cake before checking out. How’s that sound?”

Somehow Stolas’s face lit up even more, which didn’t seem possible for the already-starry-eyed owl. “I would love to! That’s so sweet of you!”

Blitzø turned the enchanted wooden ring over in his pocket with a wry smile as he replied “Just returning the favor.”

As the scene in the portal shifted to the entrance of the restaurant, Blitzø’s heart fluttered with nervous excitement. One thing was for sure:

tonight was about to get a whole lot more exciting.

And Blitzø was ready.

Notes:

Some of you might be wondering why I’ve posted this fic over four months after the episode was released. And to that I say
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But in all seriousness I am really sorry for the massive delay. I had some general burnout with writing fics and took me a while to hop back onto the writing train. Not to mention the ungodly amount of projects I’ve taken on for school and my startup lol. So if the writing style seems inconsistent at times, it’s probably because some parts were written months apart from each other. But hey, at least we made it in the end! :D
As for my next fic, I honestly have no idea. This year in general is gonna be a serious grind for me because of college apps and entrepreneurship, so I’ll probably just post shorts when I have the time. Either way, there’s definitely more wholesome Stolitz fluff coming soon! Stay tuned for that! :)
Anyways thanks so much for bearing with my inconsistent self, y’all are incredible. Thanks so so SO much for reading, have a wonderful rest of your day/week/month/year, and stay cozy! <3