Chapter Text
“This is why we don’t say the ‘L’ word!!”
Blitzø’s voice was distant.
“What the hell did you do to my dad?!”
…Via?
“Nothin’! I just… Asked him to marry me! I thought he’d be happy!”
“I’m fine,” I said. I tried to sit up. Blitzø grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me back onto the bed.
“You stay right there until you feel better, dammit,” he said.
“Blitzø, it’s really quite alright-”
“Just lay down, Dad,” Via placed what felt like a cold washcloth on my forehead.
“Really, everyone, I’m alright,” I said. “You just… Really shocked me, is all. A wonderful, beautiful shock. Does anyone else feel like they’re floating?”
“Stay right there, Dad,” Via said. “I’ll get you some water.”
“What, is it that big of a surprise?” Blitzø said.
“Well, the one and only date we had ended in catastrophic failure,” I said. “And the ‘L’ word was forbidden until only a moment ago.”
“Soooo, you wanna go on more dates?” Blitzø said. “Is that what we need to do before we tie the knot? Because let me tell you, dates aren’t everything. I’ve been on loooots of dates in my life, and-”
“I’m much more concerned about the other part,” I said.
Via came back with a cold cup of water for me. I was allowed to push myself into a sitting position this time without protest.
“So… Are you going to do it?” Via said.
“I…” My mind stalled, overwhelmed by a cacophony of emotions. “I wasn’t quite prepared to make a decision like this.”
“You better take care of my Dad,” Via said, glaring daggers at Blitzø.
“Yeah, well, you’ll be there to keep an eye on me, princess,” Blitzø said.
“...I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet,” I reminded them.
“I think we all know how this is going to go,” Via said.
“We do?” Blitzø said.
“You may be weird, and kind of a dick a lot of the time,” Via said. “But you make my dad happy. And… He deserves to be happy.”
“Are you giving me your blessing right now?” Blitzø said.
“I might as well. Satan knows my grandad isn’t going to give it,” Via said.
“Your words mean so much more to me, anyway,” I said. I held Via close to me. “Thank you for your blessing.”
“Can I be the best man?” Via asked.
“Um… Well,” I said.
“We’d have to have a wedding for that,” Blitzø said. “I thought we’d just go down to the courthouse and get this shit over with.”
“You know Dad’s first wedding wasn’t what he wanted,” Via said. “This is his chance to make up for that!”
“Yeah, I also know he doesn’t like a whole lot of attention,” Blitzø said. “Especially not the kind he’s been getting lately. We’d be all over 666 News if the paparazzi found out.”
“They’re going to find out eventually,” Via said. “Aren’t marriage licenses public record?”
“They won’t check that,” Blitzø and I said in unison.
“Perhaps just a small ceremony,” I said. “In our new home.”
“In that case I want my horse to bring the rings,” Blitzø said.
“The best man has the rings, so I’ll be doing that,” Via said. “Where is this ‘new home’ going to be, anyway?”
“Sloth,” Blitzø said.
“Ugh, Sloth, really?” Via said. “There’s nothing to do there.”
“I promise to take you anywhere you like, once it’s safe to do so,” I said. “Besides, I’m sure we’ll find something to do. And the sky in the Sloth Ring is beautiful!”
“Okay, fine,” Via said.
“Hey, Via, can I talk to your dad about something?” Blitzø said.
“What do you want to say to him that you can’t say in front of me?” Via asked.
“You really don’t want me to answer that,” Blitzø said.
Via left the door so quickly that she slammed the door on the way out.
“Alright, spill it,” Blitzø said.
“Spill what?” I asked.
“What the hell is with that milquetoast reaction?” Blitzø said. “I thought you’d be doing your little hoppies and picking out wedding dresses by now. This is… This is what you want, right?”
“Oh Blitzø, of course I want this,” I said. “I’ve been dreaming about this for quite some time… Over two decades, if I’m being honest with myself.”
“Okay, so, what did I do wrong?” Blitzø said. “Is it because I didn’t take you out? I didn’t think you’d like being out on the spot if I proposed to you in public.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “You know me well, Blitzø.”
“So what the fuck?” he said. “Where are the hoppies?”
I took a deep breath. “It’s hard for me to envision such a happy future when there are so many pressing issues at present.”
“Like what?”
“It’s only a matter of time before Stella and my father come looking for Via,” I said. “Also… Via took the Grimoire with her.”
“I don’t see the problem. All that means is that the fancy book’s on our side.”
“That ‘fancy book’ is an intensely powerful artifact. My father can use that power to locate it, and therefore locate us. It’s what I did when I found you trapped by humans in the living world.”
“Okaaay, soooo we just get rid of the book. Then they can’t track us. Done.”
“I doubt they’ll stop looking. Not with an alliance with another powerful royal on the line.”
“That’s fine, that’s fine, we have some leverage here,” Blitzø said. “We’ll just… Offer to trade the book for Via.”
“My father has many legions of demons at his command,” I said. “There is no reason for him not to force us to give him both.”
“Well shit.”
I lace my fingers with his. “Don’t stress yourself about it, darling. This is my problem, not yours.”
“Yeah? If we’re getting hitched, then it’s all our problem,” Blitzø said.
Heat blossoms in my chest. I threw my arms around him. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
“Yeah, just, hang on, I’m thinking here…” His tail absent-mindedly wrapped around my waist. “We’re just… Going to have to find someone more powerful than your dad to help us out.”
“That’s going to be quite a challenge,” I said. “There aren’t many demons who rank above the Ars Goetia.”
“I mean, there are some really powerful overlords out there,” Blitzø said.
“They don’t exactly out-rank the Goetia, darling.”
“Maybe they don’t have to. If we get enough of them on our side, they can collectively help us beat your dad’s ass. Nothing like power in numbers to stomp out an abusive control freak.”
“I don’t know, Blitzø,” I said. “What can we even offer an Overlord-”
I stopped myself mid-sentence. Blitzø said what I was thinking.
“The fancy-ass book.”
“The Grimoire in the hands of an Overlord…” I said.
Memories of a prophecy flashed through my mind. The seven rings collapsing. Al creation going to die.
“No,” I said. “It’s not worth the risk.”
“Wouldn’t anything be worth it to keep Via safe?”
“Blitzø, I’ve seen this scenario before,” I said. “I didn’t know what the trigger even would be before now, but… If an Overlord takes control of the Grimoire, there is no doubt in my mind that all of Hell would collapse.”
“Oh shit, it’s that serious?”
“I’m afraid so,” I said. What I didn’t say was that I was unsure I could truly avoid the outcome, regardless of what I did.
“Well, we can’t exactly have a house in the Sloth Ring if there is no Sloth Ring,” Blitzø said. “So who do we have left? The Seven Deadly Sins and Lucifer himself?”
“I doubt Lucifer would care enough to help,” I said.
“Doesn’t he have a kid?” Blitzø said. “What if we convince her first, then she convinces him?”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “He already lacks faith in her personal rehabilitation project.”
“Okay, well, I’m running out of ideas here,” Blitzø said. “What do you got?”
“I think… I may need to speak with someone I very much do not want to speak with.”
“Yeah? Who’s that?”
“Azmodeus,” I said.
“Fuck no!” Blitzø said. “After what happened at his gross sex club?!”
“He has his own legions,” I said. “He’s very powerful. And… You may not believe this about him, but he can be very sympathetic.”
“That prick’s not going to want a damn thing to do with us.”
“Perhaps not,” I said. “But I would like to try.”
“You really think this is a good idea?”
“No,” I sighed. “But it’s the most realistic chance we have of getting help.”
“If you really think so… Then I’ll back you up on it.”
“Thank you.” I kissed him. “I… I love you, Blitzø.”
“Oh no, I’m not saying that word again. Not after you passed the fuck out last time. But… You can say it again.”
I cupped his face in my hands. “I love you.”
“Ditto.”
We fell into a relaxed, cathartic kiss.
I couldn’t help but feel just a bit relieved. At the very least, we had a plan.
And that was the best I could hope for at that moment.
Blitzø and I stood outside Azmodeus’ mansion, the blue and purple hues of the sky becoming dimmer with the sunset. I had traveled here in my imp disguise, but dispelled it before raising a fist to knock on the door.
I hesitated.
“C’mon, how bad could it be?” Blitzø said. “He only publicly humiliated us that one time.”
“I’m aware of how foolish this is,” I said. “But… For Via’s safety, and for our happiness… I have to try.”
I held those feelings in my heart as I knocked on the door.
A succubus wearing a sexy parody of a butler’s uniform answered the door.. His lip quirked with a cruel smirk as he saw me.
“I don’t remember Big Ozzie having an appointment scheduled with a disgraced loser today,” the succubus said.
“Hey, watch it, fuckfest, that’s my disgraced loser you’re talking to,” Blitzø said.
“Ooo, I’m sooo scared,” the butler said.
“Tell Azmodeus that I have an offer for him,” I said. “One I believe he would very much like to consider.”
The butler raised an eyebrow. “What kind of offer?”
“That is something I will only discuss with Azmodeus.”
“One moment.”
The butler closed the door.
“What offer?” Blitzø said. “You’re giving him the book?”
“That was not my first choice,” I said. “I was actually considering working for him.”
“Doing what?!” Blitzø said “Doing strip teases at his fucking club?!”
I leaned down and whispered into his ear, “I assure you, darling, such things are reserved for your eyes only.”
“Uh.. Yeah…” Blitzø visibly swallowed. “Damn right.”
I smirked to myself, satisfied with his reaction.
The butler opened the door again.
“Azmodeus will see you now.”
Blitzø and I stepped into the mansion. This was certainly not the first time I had seen it. As a Prince of the Ars Goetia, I had been here for business meetings every so often, but it had been some time. Hellborn creatures of all kinds lazed around, mostly half dressed. Portraits and sculptures of Azmodeus’ past sexual conquests lined the walls, all of which intended to reinforce his position as the Deadly Sin of Lust.
“Fuck, not his face again,” Blitzø said.
Fizarolli’s portrait was on the wall, outlined in a golden frame. That registered to me as a bit unusual. Looking back at the other portraits on the wall, I could see that none of their frames were nearly as ornate.
Curious.
“You don’t think he’s here, do you?” Blitzø said.
“From the looks of things, I would be more surprised if he was not, darling,” I said.
“Right this way,” the butler said.
Blitzø and I followed him into Azmodeus’ meeting room. The embodiment of Lust sat at a round table, hands firmly clasped together.
“Stolas,” he said, grins stretching across all three of his faces. “You picked a fine time to catch up. You do know that I have a club to run.”
Blitzø and I took our seats at the table. “Then I will make this quick,” I said. “I would like your protection. In exchange, I will work for you.”
“But nothing weird like those skanky-ass imps you have at your jizz-covered fuckjoint,” Blitzø said. “I’m trying to make an honest man out of him.”
Heat rose to my face as my feathers stood on end. “That’s not… What I was suggesting was…”
“Aww, so the cheater wants to tie the knot again?” Azmodeus said. “How sweet. Why not, right? It went so well last time.”
“What I was offering,” I said. “Was to create Azmodeon crystals for you, with no financial compensation. Severed from the Goetia family or not, my power and skills are still quite valuable. All I would ask in return is your protection, should my father attempt to harm my family or take Via back by force.”
Azmodeus scratched his center chin. “That would save a pretty penny,” he said. “But would it really be worth allying myself with a man who would give his life for -ugh- love?”
“Hey honey, do you know where the… aspirin… is…”
All three of us turned toward the new voice in the room.
Fazarolli had walked in, dressed in his pajamas, looking very shocked to see us.
“Blitzo?!” Fizarolli said. “What the hell are you doing here?!”
“Now, now, sweetheart,” Azmodeus said. “I’m just wrapping things up here.
Blitzø had his phone out, no doubt recording the exchange.
“You fucking hypocrite,” Blitzø said. “Be a shame if this ended up on Sinstagram. The gweat word of wust being soooo domestic.”
“We are not domestic,” Fizarolli said.
“I’ve never heard you call anyone ‘sweetheart’, Azmodeus,” I said. “Congratulations, old friend.”
“Well, that’s not-” Azmodeus said.
“Delete that,” Fizarolli said.
“No can do,” Blitzø said. “I already sent it to my daughter as back up. And now, my tumb’s right over the ‘post’ button as we speak. Buuuut we can come up with some sort of exchange, I’m sure.”
“Fine,” Azmodeus said. “I’ll protect you and your sickeningly sweet little ‘family’. If you make those crystals, Stolas.”
“That was part of my offer and I fully intend to stand by it,” I said.
“I mean, you’ll pay him, though, right?” Blitzø said.
“That wasn’t part of the deal,” Azmodeus said.
“Yeah, that was before I had dirt on you,” Blitzø said. “And I gotta be honest, pushing this ‘send’ button would feel real good after you guys humiliated us.”
“Okay, I’ll pay him!” Azmodeus said. “Now get the fuck out of my house and delete that video!”
“Are you kidding?” Blitzø said. “No way I’m letting go of the blackmail. Like I said, my daughter already has a backup. For all I know you might go back on your word, and where would that leave us, slut king?”
Azmodeus gave a long sigh. “Stolas, I’m expecting you to report here at 9 AM on Monday.”
“Thank you, Azmodeus,” I said. “Just one last thing.”
“What?”
“Can I entrust you with the Grimoire?”
“Why didn’t you lead with that?” Fizarolli said.
“Bring the book with you on Monday,” Azmodeus said. “Until then, I don’t want to see your face.”
Blitzø and I were quickly, and physically, removed from the premises by a couple of well built incubus guards.
“That was amazing, Blitzy!” I said. “I honestly didn’t think Azmodeus would agree to give us any form of protection at all.”
“It was pretty amazing, wasn’t it?” Blitzø said. He brushed some dirt from my clothes. “Good thing you had me there for my excellent bargaining skills. Sooo, now that you don’t have to worry about Via’s safety, let’s try this again.”
Blitzø kneeled down on one knee. Somehow, despite this being his second proposal to me in less than twenty four hours, I still felt as if I was walking on air.
He took the ring from his pocket.
“Can I put a ring on it now or what?” Blitzø said.
“Oh, Blitzy, yes!” I said. I raised my arms in excitement, unable to stop myself from hopping up and down. “Yes, yes, one thousand times over and over again, yes!”
“Alright, arms down for a second so I can-”
It occurred to me at that moment that Blitzø was proposing to me right on Azmodeus’ doorstep.
The reason this occurred to me was that Azmodeus himself opened his mansion doors with a slam and demanded:
“GET THE FUCK OUT.”
“Jeez, fine, fuck me,” Blitzø said.
I was too happy to care all that much. I hummed to myself as we walked down the path and passed the mansion gates, excited enough to giggle to myself like a madman.
“Alright, just give me this for a second,” Blitzø said.
He took my left arm and slid the ring onto my smallest finger.
“Shit, it’s too big,” he said.
“Try the middle one, darling.”
“But it’s not really supposed to-”
“It’s fine, it’s fine!”
He did as I asked. The ring fit perfectly.
Seeing the ring on my hand only served to make me more excited. “Oh, Blitzø, it’s absolutely perfect!”
“It’s the wrong fucking size.”
“It’s perfect!”
“Well, if you like it, then… Yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it?”
“If only we could have the Grimoire at the wedding,” I said. “Can you imagine: A star studded sky behind us as we say our vows? How romantic would that be?”
“Well, we’ve got until Monday,” Blitzø said, not without some hesitancy.
“This weekend?” I said. “But there’s so much planning to do!”
“Not if the local courthouse doesn’t mind us opening a portal to another realm.”
“Or if we get a notary to officiate,” I said. “Oh, this is so exciting!”
“Well, I’m glad you got the hoppies,” Blitzø said. “While we’re here… How about we go on a real, actual date?”
“Oh, but I haven’t even put myself together-”
“You look fine,” Blitzø scratched the back of his neck. “More than fine. You’re fucking hot in that tight-ass sweater.”
I couldn’t so much as verbally respond, a squeal building in my throat.
“Alright, if you hop any higher, you’re going to start flying,” Blitzø said. He grabbed me by the arms and pushed me against the gates of Azmodeus’ mansion. “Now be a good boy for Daddy and come on a date with me.”
“Oh, yes,” I said.
I tried, and mostly succeeded, to control myself as Blitzø took me on our second real date.
The more we explored the Lust Ring in search of an appropriate place to have our date, the more memories from Ozzie’s surfaced in my mind. On a logical level, I knew that the memories from that night shouldn’t bother as much as they did. The farther I was dragged back however, the more intense the feelings of shame became.
“Mind loosening your grip a little?” Blitzø said. “If you hold my hand any tighter, you’re gunna break something.”
“Oh.” I pulled my hand away from his. “I’m sorry, I… Was just thinking of the last time we were here.”
Blitzø switched around to my other side and took my opposite hand, presumably to allow the one I held so tightly before to regain circulation.
“Yeah, that night wasn’t exactly my greatest moment either,” he said. “We could just go home, if that’s better for you.”
“No,” I said. “I want to do it over… Do it right this time. It’s important to me… Unless you’re uncomfortable?”
“Me? I’m fine,” Blitzø said, though I found it difficult to believe him. Whether he knew it or not, I had seen the tears in his eyes that night. “I don’t let those chucklefucks get to me.”
“Right. Of course you don’t,” I said. That conversation in the car weighed heavily on my mind, but I was certainly not about to call him out on it. “Perhaps you could give me some pointers.”
“Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah, I’d be… I’d be real good at that.”
We eventually stumbled upon a small establishment called The Tongue Lounge. With no line outside, it seemed like just the place to celebrate our engagement. Honestly, the less populated the place, the better.
“Oh, Blitzy, how about here?” I suggested.
“This looks more like a bar than a restaurant, but sure. Why not.” Blitzø peered into the window. “Is this place even open?”
“Let us find out,” I said.
I tried the door. It opened easily.
“Shall we?” I said.
I took note of a few things about The Tongue Lounge as we entered. It was much smaller than Ozzie’s, which was to be expected. Various Hellborn demon couples were scattered about, practically engaged in all sorts of intercourse, as was traditional of the Lust Ring. I was relieved to find that I did not recognize any of them. If they recognized me, they did not let on. No one so much as turned toward us as we entered.
“This place seems pretty low key,” Blitzø said. “More your speed?”
“Yes,” I said. “Actually, this is rather refreshing.”
“Seat yourselves,” the bartender, a rather tall female imp with wings, called to us.
Some of my excitement was coming back to me. I wasn’t being watched. I wasn’t the Prince of the Goetia that others had to walk on eggshells around. I wasn’t the disgraced royal that everyone wanted a story out of. Not one soul here seemed to care who I was.
And what freedom there was in that.
“Oh, that booth there in the back!” I said. “That one looks nice, doesn’t it?”
I practically dragged Blitzø over to it, feeling lighter and happier than I had since I was a child.
The booths were definitely designed to allow couples to be… Rather intimate. This one curled around the table, with seats large enough to accommodate at least two demons laying down, which I suspect was the intention.
“You seem to be feeling better,” Blitzø said.
“No one gives one single, solitary fuck that I’m here!” I said. “Isn’t that wonderful?!”
“Alright, you can calm your bird tits,” Blitzø said. He crawled over to me, practically pushing me back in the booth. “Let’s save some of that energy for later.”
“Am I interrupting something?”
A succubus, presumably our waitress, stood at our table with a sly smirk. “I can come back if you two need some more time.”
“Oh, no, I just got a little excited, is all,” I said. “It’s a rather big occasion for us. We’re celebrating our engagement!”
“Well, normally I would say that marriage makes your sex life stale, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem for you two.” The waitress nodded with approval.
Blitzø had not moved from his position of practically mounting me in front of her.
“No,” Blitzø said, lifting my chin with one finger. “That definitely won’t be an issue.”
Every feather on my body stood on end.
“So, would the happy couple like anything to drink?” the waitress asked.
“Want some wine to share?” Blitzø asked softly in my ear. “Red? White? Champagne? All three?”
His breath tickled, and I giggled against him. I didn’t think he had been listening to me at all that night. It warmed my heart that he was able to recite my words so exactly from back then.
“That sounds delightful,” I said.
“I’ll be back,” the waitress said. She winked. “Don’t hold back on my account.”
“Oh my, Blitzø, I love it when you take command,” I said.
His hands roamed under my sweater, pausing at the ruff of feathers on my chest. “Oh, I know you do.”
“Are we really going to do this here?” I said. “Now?”
“Only if you don’t stop me.”
I was about to do no such thing. Before I knew it, Blitzø had rolled the sweater completely off of my body.
“I didn’t know you liked fucking in public,” Blitzø said.
“You have to leave some mystery in a relationship, darling,” I said.
“Ugh, Blitzo?”
Blitzø and I froze simultaneously. I recognized that voice. It was that of the succubus who had pushed him at Ozzie’s.
“Oh, great, Verosika,” Blitzø said. “For fuck’s sake, are you stalking me or something?”
“How was I supposed to know you’d be in the Lust Ring?” Verosika said. “Didn’t think you’d show your face here after… Who’s that underneath you?”
I hesitated for a moment, the awful memories of that night flooding back. I had wanted so much to stop her back then, but I hadn’t, too afraid of the consequences of being recognized by Azmodeus.
Well, I suppose now was my chance.
With shaking hands, I gently pushed Blitzø from me and sat up shirtless in the booth. My voice came out softer than I had wanted it to when I said. “I’m his fiancé .”
“Oh, that demon prince,” Verosike said. “Kind of weird that I can’t hear you. Aren’t you used to ordering people around? Or are you out of practice already?”
I recalled her accusing Blitzø of being a selfish lover. I gathered what little confidence I had to clearly say, “ Actually, Blitzø is the one who orders me around. I find it… Quite satisfying.”
“Hard to imagine him being satisfying in any situation,” Verosika said.
“I assure you, Blitzø has never left me wanting for anything,” I said. “Perhaps the issue was on your part?”
Blitzø took my hand. “Hey, I know I said that I wanted this, but…”
My eyes fell on a tattoo on Verosika’s arm. Blitzø’s name had been etched there in a heart, but had since been crossed out.
“Forgive me,” I said. “My aim was to defend Blitzø, not insult you.”
Verosike crossed her arms and glared down at the two of us.
“Let’s not drag him into this, okay?” Blitzø said. “If you’ve still got a problem, it’s with me. Not my fiancé.”
“Perhaps it would be best if we all just largely ignored each other for the night?” I suggested.
“Fine.” Verosike flipped her hair and turned away from us. “Congratulations on your engagement. Prick.”
I rubbed Blitzø’s back as he glared at the three bottles of alcohol in front of us.
“You don’t have to fight my battles for me, Stolas,” he said. “I can fuck that up all on my own.”
I turned his face toward me, and his expression softened. “They’re our battles now, dear. Remember?”
A smile broke across his face. “Aw, come here, you gorgeous, long legged bitch.”
He kissed me with surprising (and welcome) force, enough to push me right back into the soft cushion of the booth.
I couldn’t be quite sure of exactly what happened the rest of that night, not after at least three bottles and a heavy make out session. All I was positive of was that, by the time we got back to Blitzø’s apartment that night, I was feeling very satisfied.
“You’re giving away the Grimoire?!”
Via’s anger was palpable the next morning. Blitzø and I had sat our daughters down to discuss our future.
It wasn’t going well.
“Dad, it’s not yours anymore!” Via said. “It belongs to me now! You can’t give it away!”
“She’s right,” Loona said. “That’s kind of fucked up.”
“Now Via, please listen,” I said. “We are not ‘giving the Grimoire away’. It’s just being kept in a secure location so that we cannot be tracked through it.”
“Listen to your Dad, princess,” Blitzø said. “If we don’t do this, your grandpa will have his bird beak up all our asses and nobody wants that!”
“I know the logic,” Via said. “But you didn’t even tell me! I would have been fine with it if you had just asked! Honestly, Dad! I’m almost eighteen years old! Do you have any respect for me?!”
“Via, I’m sorry,” I said. “I just didn’t think about-”
“Of course not,” Via said. “I’m just a little girl to you. Who cares what you do with my property?”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll call Azmodeus now and tell him that I made a mistake. You’re right, Via. The Grimoire belongs to you now, and it was not my place to decide what happens with it.”
I took out my cell phone and began to dial Azmodeus’ number.
“Wait, you’re serious?” Blitzø said. “We need that book gone, Stolas.”
“Hang up the phone, Dad,” Via said. “I understand why you did it. But ugh! Don’t treat me like a kid anymore! You can talk to me about the big stuff. Okay?”
That would be difficult. To me, she would always be my little starfire.
But she was right. I should have considered her input on this matter, and I had failed to do that. I had spent so much time protecting her from growing up too fast that I failed to see her becoming an adult right before my eyes.
“Of course,” I said. “From now on, I’ll include you in the big decisions.”
“Good,” Via said. “Now go to your room.”
“Excuse me?” Blitzø said.
“I’m mad at you and I don’t have a room to go to… So you go to yours,” Via said.
I held up my hands, but was unable to keep myself from smiling at the situation. “Fair enough.”
“You too, Blitzø,” Loona said.
“Hey, what did I do?!” Blitzø said.
“Nothing,” Loona said. “I just thought it would be fun. And it is. Move it.”
Just before Blitzø closed the door, I heard Loona say to Via, “Good job sticking up for yourself. I’m proud of you.”
And honestly, so was I.
What about this one, Via?”
“Looks the same as the last twenty you tried on.”
I looked at myself in the dressing room mirror. Via had been correct; I had tried on roughly twenty-five tuxedos, all of them white. This one was more of an eggshell, as opposed to the linen ruffle of the last. Perhaps the sea salt color was better…
“I did say I would include you in the important decisions from now on,” I said.
“Then let me pick one out,” Via said.
I clapped my hands together. “Oh, please do!”
Via disappeared for a moment and came back with a dark blue tuxedo, the color of the night sky.
“It’s beautiful, my little starfire!” I said. “But perhaps a bit small for me. Allow me to ask if they have one in my size-”
“Not for you, Dad,” Via said. “I have to have something to wear to the wedding too, don’t I?”
“Of course!” I said. “There I go, not even thinking again. Here, you take your turn in the dressing room now!”
Via smiled a little and said, “Okay,” before disappearing into the dressing room.
I waited patiently for a moment before she emerged, looking rather sheepish, but perfect nonetheless.
“Oh, good choice, Via!” I said. “The peaked lapel really does add to the jacket, don’t you think?”
“Well, it’s not what I would normally wear,” she said. “But I think I like it.”
“Is that what you would like to wear to the wedding?” I said.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Hold on one moment,” I said. “I know I tried it on a moment ago…”
I quickly changed into a tuxedo I had tried on before. White, of course, with a touch of blue. The name on the tag indicated that the color was called ‘little dipper’.
“Okay, Via, let’s take a look,” I said.
I stood with my daughter in front of a floor length mirror. Her midnight blue suit and my ‘little dipper’ tuxedo complimented each other perfectly.
“Oh, who are they?” I said, delighted by our reflections. “Have you ever seen owls more handsome than these two?”
Via rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. “We do look good, don’t we?”
“I could not have chosen better myself,” I said. “Unfortunately, our budget is tight, so these will have to be rentals, but I absolutely must have as many pictures of us in these as possible!”
“I’m still going to be the best man at the ceremony, right Dad?” Via asked.
“If that’s what you want, dear,” I said. “Though another thought did cross my mind, if you’d be curious to hear it.”
“Well, it’s your wedding, so… Okay.”
“As you said before, my father certainly will not be part of this,” I said. “Via… It would mean the world to me if… You were to ‘give me away’.”
Via hugged me tightly. “Of course I will, Dad.”
I returned her embrace, unable to contain myself. “Oh Via, thank you!”
“One more thing,” she said. She rummaged through the pockets of the pants she had worn here. She held her findings out to me.
Two silver star-shaped pins.
“Will you wear it at the wedding?” she asked.
I took one of the pins from her palm. “Of course I will.”
“Let’s wear them in the same place,” she said. “Over the heart. Okay?”
I placed the pin exactly where she showed me, and she did the same.
“It’s a reminder that… Even though things are changing… I’ll always be in your heart,” she said.
“And nothing will ever change that,” I said.
“I know, Dad,” she said. “Really, I know.”
“You guys ready yet?” Blitzø said. “Loony and I had our outfits picked out hours ago.”
“Coming dear,” I said. Then, to Via, “We probably shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.”
“He’ll be fine,” Via said, though she did go back into the dressing room to change back into her casual attire.
Having Via involved in my wedding planning had meant more to me than I had realized. I left the rental shop with a deep feeling of gratitude towards her, and toward the wonderful things in life I still had.
“So where are we getting married?” Blitzø asked. “The goddamn moon?”
We were laying in bed. Blitzø rested his head on my chest, looking at something on his phone screen that I couldn’t see.
“I’m sure there are plenty of places in the cosmos that would make a perfect wedding destination,” I said.
He didn’t respond. I noticed that he wasn’t scrolling on his phone, simply staring at the screen. His melancholy was not lost on me.
“Blitzø, are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” he said.
“You know you can talk to me,” I said. “I’m not going to force you, of course, but… You can trust me, you know.”
He sighed and held his phone up to my face. There was a picture of himself as a child, another small imp, presumably his sister, and an adult who I could only assume to be his mother.
“There’s a few people I wish would be there,” Blitzø said. “That’s all.”
I stroked his head. “I assume that inviting them is not an option.”
“Fuck knows where my sister is, and my mom… Let’s just say it would be impossible.”
Tears ringed his eyes. The implication was obvious.
I wrapped my arms around him. To my surprise, he embraced me back.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He shook his head. “Don’t say anything. Just let me… Be like this for a minute.”
“Of course.”
I held him for as long as he needed me. I didn't keep track of the time.
I was running my fingers along his spines when Blitzø broke the silence.
“So, what’s wrong with the cosmos?”
“Pardon?”
“You didn’t sound all that enthusiastic about our wedding destination.”
Blitzø was getting very good at reading me. Too good, honestly.
“You’re going to laugh at me,” I said.
“C’mon, tell me.” Blitzø’s soft touch on my feathers became an onslaught of tickles.
“Oh! Okay! Okay!” I said.
He looked up at me, his eyes still bloodshot from his tears, but now wide and curious as well.
I could feel the embarrassed heat on my face. “Well… Um… I’ve been envisioning this for over twenty-five years… And my dream wedding with you has always been at that tree in the back of the palace. Do you remember the one?”
“Yeah, I had to climb it to get to your bedroom,” Blitzø said.
“My fondest childhood memory is sitting under that tree and talking to you,” I said. “Marrying you underneath it would have meant a lot to me… But with my excommunication from the Goetia family, not to mention technically kidnapping Via… Ah, well, there are plenty of other beautiful places to have a wedding.”
“Well, I mean, technically we could pull it off,” Blitzø said.
“How so?”
“Okay, here’s what we do.” Blitzø’s eyes began to sparkle as he told me his plan. I was happy to see that the pain had receded, at least somewhat. “Most of the wedding is going to be on a flying meteor or some shit, right? But right before we say ‘I do’, and I mean the second before, we open up a portal to the tree. We step through, get pronounced imp and wife, kiss under the tree, and book it back to the cosmos. What do you say?”
“It’s not worth the risk,” I said.
Blitzø poked my chest. “I am making your dream come true, god damn it.”
“You’ve already done that. Many times over.”
“Just one picture of us under that tree,” Blitzø said. “Do it for yourself.”
I hugged him tightly to my chest. “Oh, Blitzø, it’s going to be perfect!”
“Fuck yeah it is,” Blitzø said. “Now who’s going to officiate this damn thing?”
“I say, I say, we are gathered here today…”
“Wait until Stolas gets here, dumbass,” I could hear Blitzø say.
“Oh right,” Mr. Wackford said. “Sorry, I say I say…”
As it turned out, ‘notary’ was but one of many talents Wally Wackford had on his resume. He was also available on very short notice.
Our wedding day had arrived in the blink of an eye. Via had helped me find the most beautiful of Saturn’s moons to have the ceremony take place.
Saturn’s rings made a stunning celestial backdrop. Blitzø waited under the arch at the end of the aisle for me, standing on a platform that would allow us to be eye level with each other.
Moxxie was already in tears, with Millie comforting him at his side.
Loona stood at Blitzø’s side as his best man. Her dress, the color of a finely aged red wine, matched the accents on his tuxedo perfectly.
“You ready, Dad?” Via said. “You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”
“I admit that I’m a little nervous, but I’m so ready for this as well,” I said.
Via wrapped her arms around me. “I know you are. You deserve this.”
I returned her embrace with tears in my eyes. “Alright, I’m ready, my owlet.”
Via walked me down the aisle, her arm looped with mine.
Blitzø stared at me from under the arch, his expression one of dumbfounded amazement.
Via brought me to the archway and gave me one last embrace before letting me go. The stars up above us twinkled in the pins that we shared for a brief moment.
Millie broke away from Moxxie briefly to take pictures of us.
Blitzø took my hands in his. “Last chance to back out,” he said.
“I would never,” I said.
He squeezed my hands tightly as a smile broke out across his face.
“What the hell are you waiting for, Wally?” Blitzø said. “You’re not getting paid by the fucking minute.”
“Alright! I say, I say, alright!” Wally cleared his throat. “Now, we are gathered here today, I say, we are gathered here…”
I honestly wasn’t paying that much attention to Mr. Wackford as he performed his officiating duties. I was too lost in the ecstasy of it all. The simple fact that I was marrying the person I had loved for so long made me feel as if I were walking on air. Everything but Blitzø became pleasant background noise.
“Do you, Blitzo Buckzo, take Stolas, formerly of the Ars Goetia, to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Mr. Wackford said.
“The ‘o’ is silent,” Blitzø said. “But yes. I do.”
“And so you, Stolas, take Blitzø Buckzo to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
My feathers embarrassingly puffed out. I did my best to ignore my own body as I said, “I do.”
“Do we have any objections as to why these two, I say, to why these two demons should not be wed in unholy matrimony?”
“Sir!” Moxxie cried out.
“Moxxie, you better not fuck this up for me, I swear to Satan's ballsack,” Blitzø said. “Just because it’s my wedding doesn’t mean I’m not packing heat-”
“I’m just,” Moxxie sniffed back tears. “So happy for you, sir!”
“Well that’s great, Moxx, but I’m kinda in the middle of something here,” Blitzø said.
“I got him, B,” Millie said, stroking her husband’s back.
“Well then,” Mr. Wackford said. “In that case, I say, in that case, I now pronounce you partners for life! You may kiss the… Bird.”
“Just a second,” I said.
“Loony Toony?” Blitzø said.
“On it.”
Grimoire in hand, Loona opened a portal to the backyard of the palace, my treasured tree in sight.
I hesitated.
“C’mon,” Blitzø said. “We can do this real fast. Loony, get some good pictures.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Loona said.
Blitzø pulled me through the portal.
I stood frozen for a moment, unsure if I was in a dream or reality.
Blitzø held me by the arms and pushed me back with enough force to dip me into a kiss. My hesitation from being on Goetia property melted away in his arms. I returned the kiss in earnest as our family clapped and cheered from beyond the portal.
Blitzø broke the kiss to ask, “How was your first kiss with your new husband?”
“I don’t think it could get any better,” I said.
“We’ll have to test that theory on the honeymoon.”
My feathers stood on end once more. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Okay, that’s enough PDA,” Loona said. She picked Blitzø up by the back of his suit. “Come back before you get caught, dumbass.”
“Excuse me,” Blitzø said. “I was in the middle of kissing my husband, thank you very much.”
“Do it on the moon, idiot.”
I laughed to myself as I stepped through the portal. I took one last look at the palace I had spent so much of my life inside.
And as the portal closed, I said good riddance to that awful prison.
The Grimoire was heavy within my shoulder bag. It was a presence I could not ignore. The book had been a large part of my life for quite some time, certainly all of my adult life. It was part of what tied me to my responsibilities as a prince of the Ars Goetia…
…But it was also the reason I was reunited with Blitzø.
The Grimoire had almost been an extension of myself, in some ways. It being immensely powerful meant that I was immensely powerful by my association with it.
And now, it almost felt as if the artifact repelled me. I could almost feel it rejecting me. The bag did not lay flat against my body as it should have. It was as if the Grimoire literally did not want to touch me.
Could it have been my imagination?
Certainly.
But then again, one could never really know with powerful objects like this.
I stood outside of Azmodeus’ mansion in the Lust Ring. This would be my first day working for him. Naturally, he wanted to supervise me for the first week or so. Since Azmodeus ran a nightclub, that would mean that my shifts working for him would begin rather early in the day, when he was available.
Of course, without Blitzø at my side, I was less confident about spending any amount of time with Azmodeus, but I would do what had to be done to protect my family.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
The same butler answered, this time with even less clothes than when I saw him last. The circles under his eyes made me think I had woken him up.
“Come on in,” the butler said. “Ozzie’s waiting.”
“Thank you,” I said, and followed him inside.
Azmodeus was in a state I had never seen him in before: wearing a simple set of pajamas, coffee mug in his hand. All three of his faces yawned as I met him in his designated meeting room.
“It’s too damn early for this,” Azmodeus said. He laid out some materials for me on the table.
“You did set the time,” I reminded him.
“Just make the crystals,” he said.
I set to work imbuing the crystals with power, then setting them into jewelry. Azmodeus didn’t seem to be paying much attention to my process, only inspecting the finished products.
“Powerful and pretty,” Azmodeus said.
“And that’s good?”
“They’re worth what I’ll give you for them.”
“And by that you mean your protection.”
“I told you I would pay you, and I will.”
I continued to work, despite the awkward atmosphere. The tension did not dissipate. Eventually, I simply asked what was on my mind.
“Are you embarrassed to have a disgraced demon prince in your presence?”
Azmodeus turned to look at me, all three of his faces staring me down.
“Embarrassed?” he said. “Stolas, I’m envious.”
I dropped the Azmodean crystal I had been working on in shock.
“Whatever of?” I asked.
“You’re free,” he said. “You and your lover can do whatever you want now. Your performance has come to an end. Nothing to hide. Not all of us have that luxury.”
I laughed at the irony. “I did lose quite a lot, you know.”
“Nothing that matters,” he said. “You have your daughter. Your lover. You get to live as yourself twenty-four/seven. What else do you need?”
“When you put it that way, I… I suppose I don’t regret any of it.”
“I shouldn’t say it, but I’m happy for you,” Azmodeus said.
“Thank you, Azmodeus,” I said. “I hope that one day, you can find your happiness as well.”
“I don’t know about that. But thanks all the same.”
We sat in silence as I worked. When I got to somewhere around my hundredth piece, Azmodeus held out a hand to stop me.
“That’s enough,” he said. “You’re done for the day.”
“Alright then,” I said. “One last thing.”
I pulled the Grimoire from my bag.
“You’re sure about this?” Azmodeus said.
“I’m trusting you with it.”
He nodded and took the Grimoire from my hands. I could feel the power transferring between us. The Grimoire almost seemed to jump towards Azmodeus, as if he was more worthy of it than me.
“I’ll keep it under lock and key,” he said.
I nodded. I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
“Well, I’ll be off then,” I said.
“Enjoy your freedom,” Azmodeus said with a smile. “At least until tomorrow morning. I’ll expect you back at the same time.”
“Of course,” I said. “See you then.”
I left the Lust Ring feeling much lighter than I had expected to.
“Look at the size of the stables!”
Blitzø, Via, Loona and I had been touring Sloth Ring houses all day. None of which seemed to satisfy all of our needs: large enough rooms for the girls, space for a garden for me, and enough acreage for Blitzø’s eventual horses.
This house, though, seemed to fit all of our criteria.
Blitzø was already drawing up plans for a corral, researching all the horses of Hell and their needs.
“I can hang up all of my band posters!” Via said. “That’s okay, right Dad?”
“Of course,” I said. “It’s your room! Do as you wish, my owlet.”
“Yess!” Via said. “Now where to put my taxidermy…”
“I call the room in the back of the house,” Loona said. “And everyone can stay far away from it.”
“Except for dinner time, Loony,” Blitzø said. “Dinner time is family time.”
“He’s right, my blazing meteor,” I said.
“‘Blazing meteor?’” Loona said.
“Well, I, I just thought, since Via is my starfire, that both of my daughters should have sweet nicknames,” I said. “Is it not to your liking?”
“...I’ll take it,” Loona said, her smile betraying her.
“Oh, Loony, look at us becoming one big happy family-” Blitzø said as he reached out to hug Loona, who promptly shoved him away.
“Don’t push it,” Loona said.
My interest took me to the outside of the house. I inspected the soil. It seemed fertile, as expected of the Sloth Ring, being mostly swamp land. The pink skies put me at ease as well.
“What do you think, Stols?” Blitzø asked.
“It’s wonderful!” I said. “Now, the biggest carnivorous plants are going to be on the left. Or perhaps one on each side of the door. Come to think of it, I haven’t done much research on the Sloth Ring’s native flora. A trip to the library may be in order…”
“Soooo, should we put in an offer?” Blitzø asked.
“Yes!” I said. “Oh Blitzø, I can hardly believe this is happening! Our own home together!”
“With ten horses!” he said.
“Ten , darling? Can we afford that many?”
“...Yeah, let’s start with two,” he said. “I have so many names all ready to go. I’ve been dreaming about this my whole fucking life!”
His excitement flooded my entire being with warmth, as it so often did.
“As have I,” I said.
He grabbed my sweater and pulled me down toward him.
“The only thing left is to make sure our room is completely soundproof,” he said. “Maybe install a suspension swing.”
My feathers stood on end. “Now, that does sound like an improvement upon perfection.”
“What can I say,” he said. “When you love somebody, you go above and beyond.”
“I do love hearing you say the ‘L’ word so freely,” I said. “I love you, Blit-”
He brought me into a heated kiss before I could finish my sentence.
“So, how do you like the- oh my.”
The real estate agent, a Baphomet woman, averted her eyes.
Blitzø broke the kiss, leaving me breathless and wanting more.
“Can’t a man kiss his husband in front of his future home?” Blitzø said. “Fucking prude.”
“...I’ll.. Prepare the paperwork,” the real estate agent said.
I sighed against him. “I hope to spend the rest of my life here with you,” I said.
“Oh, you will,” Blitzø said. “You, and me, and Loony, and Via, and Stapler, and Biscuit Queen, and…”
I was practically sitting on the ground from when he pulled me into the kiss. I leaned my head against his shoulder as he told me all the wonderful names for all the horses he would have.
My conversation with Azmodeus came to mind. Freedom… I was finally ready to allow myself to embrace it. He was right, after all. I had all that really mattered to me. Yes, I had lost my title, my home, my wife, my father…
…But I had my daughter, my husband, and my step daughter to gain from it.
I suppose, sometimes, in order for a prince to truly find his happily ever after, all he had to do was lose everything.
Being here with Blitzø, seeing our daughters so happy, getting ready to step into the next phase of our lives, I knew that was true.
Every loss was worth it. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
The End