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There was a time when Scott wore a bright golden feather, an accessory that stood out against his shirt, bracketed by his denim jacket. It was a declaration. A vow.
Given from the wings of his husband, Scott treasured that feather, wearing it always. Even when Jimmy was no longer with him in the first set of games, he wore the golden token as a reminder of their love, as a testament to the fact that even among death and destruction, something beautiful had occurred.
He continued to wear it proudly, proclaiming to everyone his loyalty to Jimmy. It continued to feature in his apparel quite prominently throughout the beginning of Empires and only fell away as people began to get more and more violent, falling deeper into their lore. He hid it away for safety, not wanting to lose it or allow it to be damaged, fully intending to wear it again after things had calmed down.
Things didn’t go as planned.
Scott didn’t wear the beautiful golden feather anymore. Didn’t think himself worthy after all that had happened between the destruction of the first Empires server and his brutality during Last Life and the chaos of Afterlife.
Still, the golden feather was among his most prized possessions, treasured above all others. It sat in a cushioned box, hidden away from view from others. It was carefully nestled in the decorated box so that it wouldn’t be damaged, even when it wasn’t being worn.
He didn’t realize the implication of no longer wearing the feather as an accessory. Nor how Jimmy and his instincts would take it. Of course, Jimmy was a practical man, knowing the efforts and dangers of the things they did, it was entirely possible that Scott needed a new one or hadn’t been able to retrieve it before the feather despawned.
But Scott never asked for a new feather. Nor did he tell Jimmy of the precious token hidden away that he wanted to someday feel worthy of again. Or the shame that came along with hiding such a beautiful reminder of their relationship and devotion to one another.
So when Scott saw a feather, that same beautiful gold color, around Tango’s neck, his heart dropped. When he heard Grian and Jimmy explain what it meant to avians to give away a feather, he stopped breathing for a moment. That had been him, cherished and beloved by an avian who wanted to build a life together out of trust and love. And he had managed to throw it all away through sheer misunderstanding.
How had it all gone so wrong?
Could he ever explain? Set it right?
Even as he stood there, feeling his throat tighten up as his eyes began to fill with tears that he blinked away, he couldn’t find the words to say anything.
Then Jimmy - beautiful, loving, kind Jimmy - told Pearl not to use powdered snow against Scott. The man felt as though the floor were dropping out from under him again. Jimmy had seen and remembered his difficulties with the cold, even going so far as to remind people of how to be kind with him after his experiences in Empires season one.
Between the realizations around Jimmy’s feathers and the joint concern from both Jimmy and Pearl, Scott found he was unable to stop the tears that had finally started slipping down his cheeks. He was quickly escorted away by Pearl, her arm around him as they made their way to Scott’s house along the ravine.
Finally safe within the privacy of his home, Pearl helped Scott to sit on the bed that he had, quickly sitting down next to him once he was settled, “Alright, we have some down time before the games start up again. So Scott, come here and tell Pearly-pop what’s hurting your brain right now. It’s not just being overwhelmed or sad. You’ve got something happening up in that noggin of yours and I can feel the heartache. Literally.”
“Oh void,” Scott groaned, “You can?”
“Yeah, soulmates remember? Or, soul-bound, I guess,” Pearl shrugged, the correction stinging more than the original term.
Scott swallowed around the hurt that flowed between himself and the woman next to him, it felt like syrup in his throat, “You can say it if you want, that we’re soulmates. I didn’t mean to hurt you when we started the divorce story. If I was going to have two soulmates, I’d be lucky to have you and Cleo. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I guess it hurt, but we all agreed to it.”
“Should have been more careful though. You got hurt.”
“So did you,” Pearl countered. “And don’t think that I’ve forgotten that we’re talking about your achy heart, Scotty-boy. What’s going on?”
Scott sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to redirect the conversation a second time, especially after Pearl had called him out for it, “Did you know about the importance of avian feathers?”
“Avian feathers? Yeah, I mean, I’ve got a few that have been gifted to me. Sibling stuff, y’know?”
“I was given a feather once.”
Pearl looked over sharply.
“I wore it every day. It was beautiful. When things got dangerous on Empires - the first one, I mean - I hid it away to keep it safe. After everything I did, I never felt worthy of wearing it again,” he admitted, summarizing the path that the feather had taken.
She reached over, taking one of his hands in hers gently, “Scott, who?”
A sad smile wobbled along his lips as he fought back tears once more, “We weren’t called Flower Husbands for nothing.”
“Jimmy? He gave you a feather?” Pearl asked, getting no response before realizing: “But he just gave–”
“He deserves to be happy with Tango. I ruined things,” Scott argued, justifying his husband’s actions.
“You didn’t know, though, did you? You were husbands, he should have explained!”
“There wasn’t exactly time, Pearl.”
Incredulous, she countered that statement quickly, “There was plenty of time after 3rd life ended!”
“It’s fine, he’s happy. I guess it was just ‘right person, wrong time’ for us,” the man explained, glancing out his window at the ranch that stood across the gap of the ravine.
It hurt to watch as Tango and Jimmy laughed and smiled and loved each other, even from a distance. But Scott could never hope for their unhappiness, especially when he held Jimmy so close to his heart even still. So he would keep watching, keep hurting, keep wishing.
He would treasure his husband’s feather, even if he had no right to it anymore.