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Warm hands upon his back woke him from a deep sleep. With his brain still idled between awake and asleep, he thought he was imaging things; it wouldn’t have been the first time he’d imagined someone hugging him, only to realize that no one was there. At that current moment, he thought it was his mind playing tricks again, so he chose to ignore it. But the warm hands moved from his back to his arms, gripping his triceps.
Spider shook the grip off of him, but the grip around his upper arms tightened and suddenly, Spider found himself being flipped onto his back. His heart picked up in speed, jumping into his throat as a sense of panic washed over him. He was fully awake now, startled to alertness by the sudden and rough movements of this stranger.
Before he could protest, something soft was shoved into his mouth and the weight of the person sitting on the side of the bed shifted, moving to straddle Spider. Hands roamed down to his wrists which were roughly brought above him and zip tied together. In the dim lighting from the emergency lights that lined the baseboards, Spider could make out that this person, this man, was quite broad shouldered and both arms were covered in tattoos.
The loincloth he wore was torn from his body and the man tossed it the ground. Spider struggled to try and get his knees under the man to gain some leverage, but the man had at least a good eighty pounds on him, if not more, and with his arms pinned up above him, left him with little mobility to try and wriggle free. He thrashed underneath the man as Spider felt fingers being slid into him.
The grip on his tied wrists tightened as he unzipped his pants and shifted his weight to pull his pants down. The man leaned forward so their eyes met. “Take it like a good little whore.”
The man inserting himself into Spider was more painful than the fingers that had been probing him. Spider yelped into the gag and attempted to pull away at the sensation, unfamiliar with the pain. But the man’s weight pressed him back onto the mattress and his thrusting pulled Spider closer to him. Tears burned at the corner of Spider's eyes and he tried to force his mind to wander, away from what was happening.
The man glared at him, and seemingly annoyed at the tears that were in Spider's eyes, pulled out and flipped Spider onto his stomach. There was a very brief pause before he was once again penetrated. His head was pulled back as his attacker yanked on his hair, his back arching back until it was painful. Tears ran freely down his face now and each thrust earned a pained moan into his gag. He tried to turn his brain off and ignore the fiery heat that pooled in his lower abdomen.
He was able to drown out the sounds the man made until the grip on his hair tightened and the man gave a loud, almost strangled sounding, groan, right in Spider's ear which brought him painfully back to awareness of the moment. He released Spider's hair, allowing him to drop ungracefully back onto the bed. The heat that had collected in his lower abdomen started to subside, which Spider was grateful for.
Rough, calloused hands flipped him back over onto his back and in the dim light, the man's eyes glistened as he eyed Spider as though he were a piece of meat. It twisted his insides and made him squirm. His sausage like fingers played with the bit of cloth that stuck out of Spider's mouth. "Should I take it out to see if you're any good with that tongue of yours?"
The man's erection had softened slightly and he shifted his weight so his testicles dangled over Spider's face. Spider turned his face away in disgust and the man just laughed.
“I bet you wouldn’t even know what to do, huh?” He chuckled to himself again and got off the bed, tucking his genitalia away, zipping his pants up. “But you look like a biter anyhow.” Tears still streaming down his face, Spider rolled onto his side, pulling his bound hands to his chest as he curled in on himself, trying to will away the last of the fire in his lower abdomen.
“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t like that,” he scoffed, his voice low. “Your body knows what it wants.” It was sickening to hear those words. He hadn't wanted any of what had just happened, not at all, but his body reacted in the way as if he did. Shame burned through him as he tried to will away his own erection.
The dull glint of a knife had him pulling back, shifting to the far side of the bed but the man grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him close, the knife tip pointed level to his eyes. His muscles tensed, his blood running cold as he expected something much worse to come.
"Now, I'm going to cut these ties and take out your gag. You're not going to cry, scream or pitch a fit, you got that?" When he didn't given any sort of response, the grip on his chin tightened. "Do you understand?"
Spider nodded, whimpering. As his violator made to leave the room, his foot caught on Spider's loincloth that had been ripped from his body. He tossed Spider’s torn clothing back to the floor.
“Shouldn’t wear something so provocative. Walking around like a little slut.”
And just as quietly as he’d snuck in, his assailant left, leaving Spider to curl up in a ball and cry.
When morning came around, Spider gathered the strength to crawl out of bed. His body hurt in areas that had never hurt before and his mouth had a horrible taste in it that wouldn’t seem to subside, even after swishing water around in his mouth several times. His eyes were red from crying all night into his pillow. His legs were shaky and he found himself kneeling beside the bed until the jittery, shaky feeling subsided enough.
His wrists were bruised, but Spider didn't think anyone would be too concerned giving he had bruises from all over his body, in various stages of healing, from when he and the others had been trying to evade the Recoms and he took a rough tumble to the forest floor. He sat on the floor and picked up the discarded loincloth that had been ripped from his body. It was a simple enough fix but the man's words echoed in his ears, and Spider abandoned the idea of fixing it.
He pulled his song chord from it and tied it around his wrist before throwing the loincloth under the bed. His eyes drifted over to a chair that had some Sky People clothes sitting on it. They’d been given to him when Quaritch had taken him out of the General’s custody, but at the time, Spider hadn’t bothered to put them on and had discarded them onto the chair in the room, completely forgotten. Spider got to his feet and went to the chair, eyeing the clothes in dismay.
He sighed and unfolded the cargo pants, holding them at arms length to take in the camo pattern before pulling them on. They fit well, not too tight or too loose although he still had to roll them up around the ankles. But the Sky People clothes were stiff, uncomfortable and itchy and he couldn’t be bothered with the socks, shoes or shirt; he was barely tolerating the pants that he had on.
The walk to the cafeteria did not help his frazzled nerves or the uneasy feeling that rolled about in his stomach. But he made it to the room without any issues. He noticed some raised eyebrows from the Recoms coming his way when he walked into the cafeteria that morning wearing the cargo pants. One of them made a comment, asking about the change in clothing choice, but Spider didn't bother to respond. He grabbed a plate of food and sat at the table where most of the Recoms were at.
Spider picked at his food, his appetite gone. In Spider's peripheral, he saw his assailant sat across the room, staring at him, an evil smirk on his face. They made eye contact very briefly in which the man raised his eyebrows and licked his lips. It made Spider's skin crawl and shiver and he moved so he sat on the other side of Z-Dog, using her as a barrier for the direct eyeline that his assailant had. He sat and ate the food offered to him with great difficulty, knowing that if he ate too little, someone would hound him about it later. But with the way his stomach churned like a ship on violent seas, Spider feared that whatever he ate, he wouldn’t be able to keep down.
Quaritch took him and the other Recoms out to the jungle for the day in search of Sully, searching along the coast of the mainland before headed out to open waters. On a normal occasion, Spider would have been delighted to be able to roam amongst the Pandora jungle and see the ocean, but most of the day he was silent, withdrawn into his own thoughts as he tried to process what had happened to him last night.
All the Na’vi dressed in a similar manner to how Spider dressed and he’d never heard of or seen such violation because of how they dressed. If anything, nonconsenting or forced tsaheylu was the closest thing to an equivalent of the violation he'd experienced that he could think of. As the day dragged on, Spider became obscenely aware of how much his skin itched, as though there were insects underneath, trying to claw their way out. And he knew this itchiness wasn’t because he hadn’t bathed in awhile. He wished he had taken a shower that morning to wash away the remnants of that man's filthy touch.
The other Recoms were scattered about him, most of them trailing up ahead of him, keeping their head on a swivel for any incoming threats. So Spider thought that no attention was on him. But as he started scratching the internal itch on his arms, the itching sensation would intensify elsewhere on his body. And before he knew it, Spider was chasing the itch that he knew wouldn't go away unless his thoughts willed it away.
“Are you okay?” Ja asked, coming up beside him. He knelt down so he was eye level with Spider. “You’re scratching like you’re having an allergic reaction.” Spider ceased his incessant scratching and glanced down at his body. Sections of his skin where he’d been scratching like a hellion were bright red against his pale flesh and faded blue stripes.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, frowning slightly, one of his hands coming to rest on Spider’s shoulder.
“I’m fine!” He pushed Ja's hand off of him and trailed after the other Recoms that were further ahead. Ja fell in step beside Prager, his ears pinned back as he gave Spider a side glance, his eyes filled with concern. Spider ignored this and pressed forward.
“Sure is snippy today,” Prager commented, chuckling lightly, elbowing Ja in the side.
He managed to refrain from scratching at his skin for most of the night, although the itching sensation, the sensation of insects crawling under his flesh, never ceased. It kept him up all night, although he feigned sleep so as to not cause any worry. His mind was running rampant with thoughts, questions he wanted to ask, but he kept withdrawn to his own thoughts as the Recoms settled and made camp for the night.
He wanted to ask one of the Recoms, or even Quaritch himself, about this attack and if it was something that commonly happened on Earth since they all had their human memories, but he didn’t want to raise questions that he wasn’t able to answer at that current moment. At least out here, in the jungle, Spider felt more at ease. Being in the jungle, he wouldn’t have been surprised if a viper wolf or thanator attacked them; he half expected it considering he was a human and he was in their home territory and didn't have his stripes for protection.
The following day, they returned back onto the ship and veered their course away from the mainland, towards the islands. As soon as he set foot back on deck, a cold, vice like grip appeared in his stomach. He feared he would run into the crew member that had violated him, so he kept close to Quaritch or one of the other Recoms as much as possible.
When night came, Spider lingered at the threshold of his bedroom. The room he’d been assigned to sleep in since they’d boarded the Sea Dragon suddenly seemed so unwelcoming. It was too cold, too cramped and there was a faint musty odor that lingered in the room.
Had that smell always been there?
So, Spider found himself wandering the short length down the hall to where the Colonel bunked with some of the other men. His room didn’t feel safe anymore and he thought that being around the Recoms would make him feel more at ease. Slowly, he pushed open the door and entered the room, his footfalls silent. The room was silent aside for some quiet snoring coming from one of the occupants.
Spider found Quaritch’s bed easily enough which was almost directly across from the door and the light from the hall illuminated the man's face. He approached the bed and shook the man's shoulder gently. The man grunted in his sleep, rolled over to his other side, cracked open his eyes and looked at him, his eyes blinking away the sleep.
“Can I sleep with you?”
The question made him feel immensely small and childish, asking to sleep with his father–not father?--at his age. He was grown enough that he shouldn’t be seeking comfort because of a bad dream or a bad feeling; it was humiliating. As soon as he’d voiced the question, heat rushed up his face in embarrassment.
There was a very pregnant pause in which Quaritch stared at him, still half asleep, and from the thin sliver of light the emergency lights gave off, Spider wasn’t sure what the man was thinking since his facial expression gave nothing away.
But the longer Spider stood there, the more uncomfortable he became and was just considering turning tail and leaving to retire for the night in the hallway. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, ready to turn and leave, his ears still burning hot with embarrassment.
Quaritch shuffled over to the far side of the bed and pulled back the blankets, gesturing with a jerk of his head for Spider to come and lay down. “C’mon, tiger.”
Miles was confused why Spider came to him in the dead of night, asking to sleep next to him. If he’d been more awake, he probably would have been more surprised, but with his brain still clouded by sleep, he wasn’t about to ask questions and pry into why.
Initially, Spider had fallen asleep with his back to him, but at some point had rolled over and had snuggled into Miles’ chest, his hands lightly gripping at the wife-beater he normally wore underneath his T-shirt. In his sleep, Spider looked younger, peaceful even. It gave an odd, warm sensation in Miles' chest.
What was this kid doing to his heart? Making it melt like that as though it were butter over a hot stove? He watched Spider sleep, listening to the steady and slow breathing. Eventually, Miles fell back asleep, one arm draped loosely over his son.
When he woke the following morning, it was to the hushed whispers of his comrades as they got ready for the day. As soon as they noticed that he was awake, the conversation ceased. Fike and Prager vacated the room which only left Lyle, who was staring.
“And what are you gawking at, Corporal?” he hissed quietly, careful to keep his voice low as to not wake Spider. Lyle shook his head and knelt to tie up the laces on his boots. Although Miles couldn't see his comrade's face, he knew the egghead was wearing a shit-eating grin.
“Nothing, Colonel. I'm not gawking at anything."
He looked a mess, which matched exactly how he felt on the inside. His hair was more dirty and matted than he could ever remember seeing it, the blue stripes on his skin completely rubbed off. His scalp was still tender to the touch from where the man had yanked on his dreads it the other night. Just having his hands graze that tender spot brought back flashes of memory from that night.
He took the scissors to his hair, one hand holding out one of his dreads. It was just hair, it would grow back. He took the scissors to his hair up near the roots, his hand shaking slightly in hesitation. Just get it over with.
He sawed and cut at his hair, watching in dismay as his dreads fell to the floor all around him. Afterwards, he could say that his head felt significantly lighter, which was the only plus he could see at the moment considering he'd cut away part of his identity. He stared at himself in the mirror, seeing a stranger.
From the mirror's reflection, he saw Quaritch enter the bathroom, presumably in search of Spider since he'd been gone for too long. The man took a few steps into the room and paused at the sight of Spider with his shorn hair and a pair of now, very dull scissors.
“And where did you get those from, huh?”
“Stole them when Lopez wasn’t looking.” It really hadn't been that hard. In the time he'd spent with the Recoms, Spider noted who was more likely to leave their things unattended. Lopez and Prager were the best in terms of that.
"Ah." Quaritch's lips quirked up into a smile. “Remind me to have your pockets sewn shut.” He held out his hand, gesturing for the scissors, which Spider handed over. As Quaritch took them, he gave Spider a once over.
“What?”
Quaritch shook his head, his smile still in place on his face. “With the short hair, you look a bit like me when I was in my teens.” Spider briefly glanced back in the mirror; it was so odd to see himself with short hair again. The scissors hadn't been the best thing to cut his hair with, and from the way sections stood up on end, even after he ran his fingers through it a few times, Spider looked like a current of electricity had run through him.
Before he could leave the room, he was stopped by a question.
“Did something happen, Spider?” Spider froze and slowly turned on his heel to face Quaritch.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when you first came here, you were a feral little spit fire. Refused to wear Sky People clothing and God forbid you get a haircut. If I left you with Ardmore much longer, I’m sure she would have forced both upon you sooner rather than later. So why the sudden change?”
Spider swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. What had changed? A lot had changed in a short amount of time and the emotions that ran rampant inside of him were too difficult to put labels to but it made him more comfortable, making theses changes, even though putting on Sky People clothing and cutting his hair did nothing to ease the twisting and churning sensation in his gut, but it was something he could control.
Quaritch stayed silent, patiently waiting for a response.
“There was this man-” And suddenly like it was as though a dam had burst as Spider started sobbing, releasing the conflicting emotions that were toiling about in his chest. Eywa, he felt so stupid, standing there, crying like a baby. He struggled over his words to explain what had happened, but eventually managed to string enough coherent sentences together to tell the entire story.
For a long moment, the only sound was Spider trying to silence his sobbing. Through his tears, he analyzed the man's face; he looked deep in thought. The tuff of his tail flicked back and forth while his ears pinned themselves back.
“Do you remember this person’s face?” Spider nodded, rubbing the tears from his own face as he tried to calm his breathing. It had been dark, except for the emergency lights near the base of the room, but Spider had been able to catch some of the man’s facial features and body build. He'd been close enough to make out the tattoo sleeves upon his arms.
“You’d be able to point him out?”
He sniffed back more tears. “...Yeah, I think so.”
“Good.”
If his face could have still turned red from anger, his face would have been as bright as a tomato by now. After Spider had told him what had happened, everything in Miles’ vision went red. And he’d be seeing a spray of red when he beat the living daylights out of the shit bag that caused the kid so much pain.
Spider was a kid. An older kid but still a child nonetheless. And, whether Miles admitted it to himself or not, Spider was his son. But whether Spider was his son or not didn’t matter, child rapists were some of the scum bags that were on the lowest rung of the criminal ladder and as far as he knew, no one ever treated them nicely when their actions were brought to the light.
He and Spider made their way down to the cafeteria where most people were congregating for lunch. The entire way there
Spider scanned the room for a few moments. “Him.” Spider pointed over to a large, broad shouldered man with a dark head of hair, slicked back, and full sleeves of tattoos running up both his arms.
“You’re sure?” Spider nodded. He patted Spider on the shoulder, entered the room, and headed over to the table where his crew sat where most of them were having lunch, although none of them could say they were enjoying the food that was served.
"Keep track of your shit, Lopez." He placed the scissors on the table and slid them down the tabletop to the man on far end who fumbled to catch them before they slid off the end.
He placed his hands on the two Recoms closest to him which were Lyle and Mansk.
“I got a job for you two.” He gestured for the two of them to get up from the table and follow him. They complied, no hesitation, and followed Miles the few steps that he took away from the table. Miles’ face grew stone cold, although an absolute rage boiled in his eyes as he eyed the man that had attacked his son.
"What're we doing, boss?" Lyle asked, looking slightly concerned by the look in the Colonel's eyes. Miles pointed to the man that Spider had pointed out, three pairs of eyes trailing after him as he chatted with another man as they went from the lineup towards a table where other humans were sat.
“He sexually assaulted Spider.”
Lyle cracked his knuckles, a wicked smirk coming onto his face. “Say no more, Colonel.” Mansk nodded in agreement, his hands already curled into fists, ready to dish out some much deserved justice.
Miles surprised the man from behind, causing him to drop the tray of food in his hands, and grabbed him, turning him around before punching him square in the face. The man didn’t have any time to react before Quaritch grabbed the man by his throat and pinned him against the nearest wall. His tail flicked back and forth in agitation, his teeth bared in a snarl.
“What the hell kind of sicko are you for assaulting a minor?” Not allowing the man to answer, he dropped him back to his feet and shoved him in Lyle's direction. Lyle proceeded to punch the man square in the face. There was a satisfying crunching sound and blood ran like a river from the guy’s nose. The dark haired man spat blood on the floor, wiping his mouth. He glared at Miles with a heated rage and he put up his fists, prepared to fight back.
Miles had to admit that the man stood his ground well, and fought back as best as expected. But three against one wasn’t a fair fight. Three Avatar Recombinants against one human was an exceptionally unfair fight, but at that moment, Miles really didn’t give a damn about fairness. The three of them tossed the man around like a sack of potatoes. Underneath the anger that boiled within him, Miles was actually enjoying kicking this man's ass--the scumbag deserved it.
Quaritch had readied himself to curb stomp the man's head now that Mansk and Lyle got him and kept him on the ground. Would it have been taking it too far? Perhaps. But he really didn't care at the moment. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to stomp the man's head in like he desired as Scoresby and Garvin came barging into the room, parting the small gaggle of onlookers like Moses parting the sea.
“What the hell is going on here?” Scoresby exclaimed, pushing his way past a small crowd of by standers. “First commandeering my ship, now ganging up on one of the crew members? What the hell is wrong with you?"
The three of them turned to the portly ship captain, their tails lashing back in forth in controlled agitation.
“You weren’t aware that you harbored rapists on your ship?" Lyle asked, stepping close to the man.
"Rapists?" Scoresby echoed. "Who-" Miles turned his gaze to Spider, who lingered in the threshold to the room. Scoresby followed his gaze to where Spider was, who stood just outside the cafeteria, Z-Dog and Ja standing behind him. “The kid? He’s old enough to consent.”
“Old enough to consent doesn’t mean any consent was given," Mansk said. He stood behind the ship captain, towering over the man, his face stoic as ever. Seeing that he was being forced into the middle of a circle by these three, Scoresby scuttled back a few steps, out of the danger zone, the flicker of fear in his eyes clear as day.
"Okay, okay. Calm down fellas." He gestured to some of the other humans that had been watching this whole thing go down and pointed to said rapist and ordered for him to be taken to the brig.
When the fight broke out, most of the people in the vicinity of three large, blue aliens, and angry ones at that, had given a wide berth as they kicked the human around. Most people seemed shocked into inaction at what to do until Scoresby came barging into the room, demanding to know what was going on. And even when Scoresby had ordered that the beaten man be taken to the brig, he had to clap his hands loudly to bring people back into action.
Two crew members dragged their beaten and bloody comrade from the cafeteria. The man groaned and spit more blood onto the ground. As they left the room and turned down the hall toward the brig, he spotted Spider standing out in the hall and lunged at the boy, spitting insults. Had he not been in a firm hold by the other two crew members, Spider probably would have been tackled to the ground.
Spider hissed at him, although he was pressed up against Z-Dog's legs, acting as a physical support. As he was dragged down the hall, the man continued to yell obscenities and insults, hurling them over his shoulder at Spider. Spider had heard some of those words before, and he knew they weren't nice but he wasn't about to let the man or his actions or words get under his skin again. He didn't need more invisible insects crawling about on his insides.
Z-Dog hissed in the man's direction too before both she and Ja knelt down on either side of him. "Don't you listen to him, kid. You aren't any of those things." Ja nodded in affirmation.
"Spider?" His ears were pinned back, his head cocked to the side as he considered how to word whatever he wanted to say. "How...how are your injuries?"
“Just some bruising,” Spider muttered, rubbing at his wrists where the bruises had started to yellow as they healed. “And I’m still kinda sore.”
“If you don’t mind,” Ja said, keeping his tone gentle, “Would you come to the med bay? We can check for STDs. Just to be safe."
He met up with Spider and Ja in the med bay. Lyle and Mansk trailed behind them as both their knuckles were a bloody mess. Miles' knuckles were in a similar state but he didn't really care at the moment; it was something that could be dealt with later.
Upon entering the room, Ja approached him to give him the run down of why he brought Spider to the med bay.
"Well, given what happened, I suggested he get tested for STDs, just to be on the safe side. Ran the tests myself, sir," Ja said. "Tests came back negative. But I told him if he had any symptoms should appear to let me know right away."
Miles nodded in thanks. He was glad that Ja had thought about testing the kid for STDs since the the thought had completely evaded his conscious thought train. He'd had a few STDs back when he'd had his human body and luckily medicine had advanced enough that there were treatments for most of them. Still, to have one could be a real bitch to deal with, even if there was medicine.
"Mind taking a look at my knuckles, Ja?" Lyle asked, holding up one of his bloodied hands. Ja nodded and excused himself to tend to Wainfleet and Mansk. Miles made his way over to Spider, who sat atop one of the examination tables, his focus on his feet, which he swung back and forth.
"How're you doing, hotshot?"
"I'm okay." His words were quiet, his gaze never leaving the floor. After a moment, he glanced up at Miles, their eyes meeting. "...Thank you." Those two words held sincerity and by the tears that glistened in the boy's deep, brown eyes, he knew Spider was genuinely thankful.
"Any damn time, kid!" Lyle exclaimed from the adjacent exam table, separated by a thin curtain. "Fucking scumbags like that deserve a beating like that!" That got a small smile out of the kid, although it didn't reach his eyes.
"Anytime, son. Like Lyle said." Miles knelt down so he was eye level with Spider. “You know you didn’t deserve that, right? What happened, that's not your fault. You didn't bring it upon yourself." He grabbed Spider gently by the chin, lifting it so their eyes met. "You understand?" Spider nodded, silent. He averted his gaze back to his feet which he swung back and forth absently.
"Why don't we get out of here, huh?" He stood to his full height as best as he could given that the med bay was designed for humans in mind, and made to leave the room. Spider hopped down from the table and fell in step beside Miles as they left the med bay. They walked down the hall in silence, any crew members avoiding them both as soon as they caught site of the pair.
Miles intended to head back to the cafeteria since the lunch crowd had cleared out and he was sure next to no one would be lingering around after the display he and his boys had just put on. He stopped mid-step when he realized Spider was no longer beside him. He turned back to where Spider was at a standstill, his gaze fixated once again on the floor.
"What's wrong?"
Spider shook his head and took several steps forward to catch up with where Miles stood and wrapped Miles tightly in a hug. The hug caught him off guard for a moment, but after he kicked his brain in to gear again, his arms wrapped around Spider, pulling him close, his tail wrapping protectively around the boy.
After that incident, to make Spider more comfortable, Miles had Fike clear out his stuff and move to the second room the Recoms shared so Spider could have a bunk to himself that was right across from Quaritch. But even with his own bed now, Spider occasionally would crawl in to snuggle next to Miles for the night. He knew that it drew some jests from some of the others, but he knew they thought it was oddly endearing.
And although he wouldn't openly tell anyone, it touched his heart too. Every time, it melted his heart and gave that warmth that spread throughout his chest. It was a nice feeling to have, he had to admit.
But whenever Spider asked to sleep next to him, Miles never protested; if it made Spider feel safer to sleep next to him, then so be it.