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Jiiro was going on about recreating something similar to what they pulled off at the culture festival to get the evacuees to have a change of heart… Tch. As if. This wasn’t in any way similar to that. Having the other students hating on your class because they can’t stand being the petty extras they are was one thing. Having civilians fear for their lives because of your presence as they are locked up and anxious while blaming you for the world out there being in chaos… is an entirely different matter.
Bakugo doubted anything short of defeating the villains once and for all could make most of those people change their minds about having Dek-... Izuku at UA. Even if it was for a short time.
He manage to get earphones to let go of his shirt and stood by the chairs as the other students started going back to their rooms. The little perv and the other extras were the first to go. Four eyes, earphones and ponytail were next. Bakugo scoffed at the glimpse of excitement they had going upstairs while discussing possible events that could “lift up spirits” or some bullshit like that…
“Someone should take midorya to his room, he is sleeping but he won’t get any real rest sitting on the couch-”
“Don’t touch him” Bakugo growled stepping towards Sero. “I got it.”
Tape arms knew to step back with his hands up. He then got pikachu and birdman to leave with him. “Alright bakugo, make sure you’re… gentle… he’s been through a lot already…”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do” Bakugo scoffed loudly “As if I don’t know that…”
“Right… Kirishima, you coming?”
“Yea… in a minute”
“Go on shitty hair. I already said I got this.” Bakugo walked between Kirishima and the sleeping boy on the couch and crossed his arms. He helped them getting him back didn’t he? He could obviously carry the stupid nerd upstairs by himself. The redhead seemed to change his mind about saying something and resigned to a sigh, turning to go to his room too.
“Why are you still here Icy Hot?” Bakugo said glaring at Shoto after the others had all left.
“He seems tired even now…” he replied quietly as always. It was hard to hear him without looking at his face. That half-and-half bastard never spoke up no matter how many times Bakugo told him to, so he just grunted in agreement. It was fine this time. It was just the three of them in a room and the freckled nerd was asleep, so it was easy enough to hear at the moment.
“Make sure you don’t wake him up.” Shoto said again, annoyingly quietly before turning to go upstairs, leaving Bakugo with the sleeping boy in the couch in an empty silent room. Bakugo knew it was raining, but the sound became background noise easily to him. His hearing was getting worse. Shit. the more he trained the worse it got too…
He took a deep breath. Deku was still sound asleep on the couch. IcyHot was right. Even asleep he looked so tired… the bath did very little to wash away how beat down he looked. He had dark circles and new scratches on his face. His hair was clean… but tangled and looking damaged… He looked nothing like what Bakugo remembered before he left.
He looked outside the window for a moment. The rain hadn’t let down at all, and it was a little cold. Round face did well on her speech outside. At least, it had been enough for the evacuees to let Deku through the crowd and inside the dorm building…
“He is just a high schooler”. The line played in his mind as he looked down at his rival. You could tell he’d been crying. The dark circles did little to distract from how puffy his eyes looked. Bakugo placed his left knee on the seat beside the hot mess on the couch. He squeezed an arm behind Izuku’s back, and the other under his legs.
It was easy to lift him up. He was lighter now. No doubt the stupid fucking nerd wasn’t eating right. That made Bakugo mad. How fucking stupid do you have to be? Go out all on your own with such a huge target on your back… and not sleeping or eating right on top of that? If he didn’t know him as well as he did, it could seem he was trying to get caught. Or die. Whatever came first.
“We are just as frightened as you are. Everyone here is under the same circumstances”
Pink cheeks was only half right when she said it. True, heroes with actual training were afraid… same as civilians. They’d be stupid not to be, knowing what they were up against. And time was running out. They knew that too. But not everyone at UA was under the same circumstances.
Dek-... Izuku was the key, and he knew it. Jeans head was on point about that. He is the target of the villains… but also the hero’s greatest asset. Izuku knew that as well. And only he was in this unique situation… that’s why he left. Of Course. Stupid nerd. If he used that big head of his for a second…
Going up the stairs was a bit of a struggle. IcyHot had put a blanket over Izuku that proved a trap for tripping over. So Bakugo was going slowly and carefully. The last thing he needed was to drop damn freckles down a flight of stairs. He was surely already sore and broken as it was. Damn Deku. Why couldn’t he take better care of himself?
---
After two flights of stairs, Bakugo felt stupid standing in front of midorya’s door. Has anyone been in his room since he left? I surely was dirty. At least dusty… He looked down at the boy in his arms with an angry expression. Damn Deku, of course, he would have allergies if left in a dusty ass room. Stupid nerd. Bakugo took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself to climb another two flights of stairs.
Izuku could sleep in his room for today… tomorrow he can wake up and clean his own damn room to use. He didn’t feel like sleeping anyways.
---
He hated asking for help, but the nerd was getting heavier by the minute. Só Bakugo kicked the door in front of him a few times. Not hard enough to wake up anyone that wasn’t inside.
Kirishima opened the door barely awake
“Bakubro? What.. time is it?”
“Irrelevant. Open my door for me shitty hair. Dek- He is heavier than he looks”
Kirishima rubbed his eyes and looked at Izuku, sound asleep in Bakugo’s arms. He sighed and yawned but walked over to the next door.
“Here, you’re welcome…” He said pushing the door open and already walking back to his bed
“Yeah, don’t trip and fall on your way back, you’ll wake up the others” Bakugo spit back
Kirishima waved lazily to signal he heard it and closed the door behind him.
Bakugo walked into his room and placed Izuku on his bed, then turned to close his door. He let out a sigh of… almost relief, and stood there for a minute or two, letting his eyes adjust to the little bit of moonlight coming from a corner of the window uncovered by the curtains. When he could see alright he turned back to look at Izuku.
He barely looked like the blood-crusted, dirt-covered manacing looking creature he was just hours before. Bakugo leaned against the door and watched Izuku’s chest rise and fall as he breathed heavily. He could barely believe he was back.
Bakugo walked towards the bed and sat beside it, his back to the bedside table, elbows resting on his knees. He let his head hang down between his shoulders and squeezed his hands as hard as he could. He was back. And safe. Bastard. Why did you have to go off in the first place? He glanced at Izuku, lying on his pillow covered in a blanket… Right now he seemed a little more relaxed. But a few hours of sleep weren’t going to fix things. He still looked exhausted.
Bakugo turned on his side, crossed his arms on the mattress, and let his chin rest on his hands. He felt like Deku could ran away if he looked away for even just a second. How dare he. Just leaving a note? And putting himself in danger like that? Well.. who was he to scold his childhood friend when he knew damn well he would be the last person on earth to ask for help if he really needed it. Especially when it was something he felt was his fault… did he really think that he wondered. That what AFO had done was his fault?
He knew the green-haired boy enough to know the answer. Tch.
He kept watching closely as Izuku slept. He wondered if he would have anything to say about… what he said. He didn’t expect forgiveness. After all, after all, he’s done to him…
‘I don’t deserve it anyways’
But Bakugo really wanted Izuku to see that he wasn’t alone… no matter how much he tried to make it seem this way in the past. He said he couldn’t come back because that might be trouble for everyone at UA… tch. How can’t he see that neglecting to take care of himself is what might cause trouble for everyone?
“I can’t go back to how I was before”
Bakugo hoped that wasn’t true somehow. He knew it was. But he still wished it wouldn’t be. The truth was, none of them could go back to how they were before all of this…
Izuku took a deep breath and turned to his side.
Bakugo held his breath and didn’t move.
After a few seconds, he let himself exhale. But he would still not move an inch. Izuku had his face very close now. He didn’t want to wake him up.
Looking at his freckles so close… feeling his breath near his nose… Bakugo was angry. He knew he had no right. To be mad that he left. To be hurt he didn’t say anything. To be upset for spending his birthday away from home, alone and worrying about him. Stupid Deku. He had all the right to leave without saying anything. Why would he not? After he was just bullied relentlessly for years? He didn’t owe Bakugo an explanation or a proper goodbye even.
Still, tears swelled up in Bakugo’s eyes. Tears of rage, and hurt, and shame for what he did, knowing he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. Tears of joy because he was back… and tears of fear because the worst was still to come. And there was nothing he could do to stop time right here and now.. Not even just for a moment…
He rubbed his face against his arm to get rid of these pathetic feelings. He had to do better than that. Izuku was back. He could rest. They’d defeat the villains and restore order, save people, and stop the chaos. Izuku would use OFA and become the hero All Might saw in him. And then… what then? Could they really make it? He couldn’t afford to doubt it. He couldn’t bear it. They had to. It was the only way to Win.
Izuku started breathing faster. His brow was twitching and he started flinching. He was still asleep. Bakugo wasn't sure what to do. He was having a nightmare no doubt. What had he gone through all by himself out there? Bakugo reached his right hand over the boy’s head, and rest it on his messy hair gently.
He watched Izuku’s face as he settled… His palms started sweating. He didn’t have to look so delicate. Damn nerd. How could that lone creature he found in the rain and this… cute boy be the same person? He felt a tingling in his fingers. He should take his hand away.
Bakugo could barely feel a spark growing in his palm when Izuku suddenly opened his eyes wide, grabbed his wrist, and threw him across the room. Bakugo landed with his back on top of his desk and the freckled boy sat up breathing fast and shallowly.
“What the FUCK was that Deku?!” Bakugo growled stomping back to the bed, pulling his shirt down after being flipped upside down mid-air.
When he met Izuku’s eyes, however, he slowed down and held his hands out. The boy was frozen against the wall, with unblinking eyes, sweat forming on his forehead, and out of breath.
“Oi, I’m sorry… Deku… it’s alright… you’re fine”
“K-Kaachan… w-where…?”
“You’re in my room…-” Bakugo said kneeling in bed in front of midorya “We’ll clean your room tomorrow and you can sleep there th-...” Bakugo noticed he was barely listening. He seemed to be having a panic attack. He’d seen pink slime have one before.
“Hey…” he said as gently as he could. “Izuku”
midorya broke his thousand-yard stare into the back wall to face Bakugo. Being called by his name was só new it did the trick to get his attention.
“Here” Bakugo took the frightened boy’s hands on his own “What do you see?”
“W-what?”
“Tell me what do you see?” He saw ponytail ask racoon eyes to list things she could see in the environment and that seemed to help… so it was worth a shot “C’mon, what do you see?”
“I… I see…-” Izuku’s eyes scanned the room from side to side, a bit frantically at first, and as he tried to pinpoint objects around him, his gaze slowed down “a chair… on the floor…”
“Good-" it seemed to be working "what else”
“I… see… alarm clock… and… shoes…. and… my… bunny night light?”
“Not that, look at something else!” Bakugo barked using one of his hands to turn the nerd’s face away to the other side
“K-Kaachan…” the freckled boy had tears in his eyes.
Bakugo felt bad for being so harsh. He let go of Izuku’s face and sighed.
“Yes. very good. That… is your night light… How do you feel now?”
“I-... not great… but… better I think…” he said looking straight at the blonde boy, with a very confused look.
“At least you can talk coherently now.-” Bakugo let go of Izuku’s hand and turned to sit beside him, his back to the wall, arms crossed, and red cheeks.
“How… why do you have that in your room?” Izuku asked bringing his knees to his chest and trying to slow down his breathing. It made Bakugou furious that it seemed he knew exactly what to do to calm himself down. Like he's been doing it by himself
He was using this as a distraction to calm down. So Bakugo ignored how embarrassed he felt about it and answered.
“You left” He said as matter of fact. “I didn’t know if you’d be back and… when we were 6 you’d use that to find your way back to my room when you slept over.” He could feel how pathetic he sounded as the words came out of his mouth, but there was no point pretending he hated the boy now. Not after he already told everyone how he regretted making himself do so before.
Izuku didn’t say anything. So Bakugo didn’t either. They sat in silence for a moment.
“Kaachan… Thank you”
Bakugo looked at him. He didn’t lift his head from his knees to say it.
“Tch, You’re welcome nerd. I couldn’t let you die out there... I can't beat you if you’re dead”
“I was doing fine”
Bakugo had it with him. He just had a fucking panic attack for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t eating, resting, or showering. People thought he was a villain the stupid dirty bastard. He was stubborn as fuck thinking he can still keep saying this kind of bullshit without being called out for it.
Bakugo reached for his collar and pulled his shirt to make Izuku face him.
“Shut up Deku.” He felt pathetic. His eyes were wet again. All those emotions mixed and overflowing. Too late now. “Shut up. Stop saying you’re fine. You were not fine.”
Izuku cracked a weak smile, that did nothing to light up his tired expression. If anything it made him look even more annoyingly stubborn with this cheap lie he kept parroting around.
“I have to be Kaachan” Izuku’s voice was cracking. “If I want to be a hero who saves everyone I… I need to be fine”
Bakugo grabbed the boy’s collar with his other hand pulling him even closer.
“Shut up and stop saying stupid things. You’re not that hero yet. And even when you become him… You’ll need help. All Might, Endeavor, they all had sidekicks, the police, other heroes… and friends to help them. Don't be so arrogant to think you’re better than them, you hear me? You can’t be a hero who saves everyone if you starve or collapse either you fucking moron”
Bakugo was being louder and more aggressive than he intended to… but how else was he going to understand?
“Don’t even think about winning this alone. I mean it D- Izuku.” old habits die hard.
midorya had tears running down his face. Bakugo couldn’t tell why. He was the one who left. He put himself in danger. He tried to do it all by himself. Why cry now?
“It doesn’t matter how powerful you become. You can’t keep refusing my-... Our help”
“Kaachan.” Izuku placed his hand over the blonde’s. And he let go of his collar. Bakugo noticed his expression looked worried now. He slapped Deku's hand away when he tried to dry his cheek.
“Don’t fucking touch me freckles” Bakugo said turning his face and wiping his face himself. “Go back to sleep. You need the rest”
He started moving to leave the bed, but Izuku placed his forehead on his chest.
“Thank you for apologizing. And for getting everyone to go fetch me… But… Like I said… You can’t keep up. Not anymore. That’s why…-”
“I said I know.” Bakugo interrupted. “We all know that… Izuku.” the green-haired boy stiffened his posture at the name. “Round cheeks said… that you have a special power, but you’re not a special person…” midorya sniffled and buried his head harder on the blonde’s chest. “But she is wrong.”
Bakugo took a hold of midorya’s shoulders and pushed him back. He wanted him to understand this. He had to look him in the eyes to say it.
“You are special Izuku. All Might chose you because you’re special. You have the heart of a hero. Always had. Even when you were quirkless.. that's part of why you were so far ahead and I... You were always special but-”
He could see the big emerald eyes swelling up in tears again. He was always a crybaby.
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t a person. You need rest. And nourishment. And HELP-” Bakugo squeezed his shoulders, hoping to get the point across “-let. me. us! help. You!”
“Kaachan…”
“I won’t take no for an answer nerd. No matter how many times you run away thinking you can do it all by yourself, thinking you’re a burden, I will find you and drag your ass right back here got it? What’s your deal eh? Think you’re so much better than us that we aren’t capable of helping? Are we that much further below you?”
“NO.”
Bakugo was taken by surprise. He let go of the boy’s shoulders and let his hands slide down his arms. Izuku was holding back tears by closing his eyes as hard as he could… and yet he was very emphatic in his response
“Then let us help you…” His hands made their way to hold Midorya’s “Izuku… please. Let’s win together”
The green-haired boy was trying not to sob, and all he could do was stare at their hands. Bakugo was holding on hard. He could feel the odd shapes of the bones that were broken one too many times. The texture of the scarring from when he couldn’t use his brand new quirk without tearing himself up… that seemed like forever ago.
“ok... Kaachan... please… help me win”
midorya managed to say through gritted teeth and wet cheeks. He felt as if he had to do it on his own. Isn’t this why All Might chose him? Shouldn’t a hero be able to save others without being a burden to others? If they had to help him… didn’t that mean he wasn’t capable of doing it himself? That he… failed?
“We will. We will win together. No matter what it takes” Bakugo knew Izuku wasn’t going to truly accept in his heart that it was okay to be helped. He knew he couldn’t. But for now, a desperate plea, knowing what was to come, was good enough.
“Hey. You still need to sleep.” Bakugo said as he pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor, and picking up the blanket that fell from the bed. “Move.” he ordered pushing Izuku closer to the wall.
Bakugo laid on his pillow and turned his back to the other boy.
“Rest. We still need to clean your room tomorrow so you can get the hell out of my room”
Izuku used the back of his hands to wipe the tears away and with a faint smile, he dug his legs under the blanket, turning to the wall, his back against Bakugo’s. The heat coming from his body made him remember the sleepovers they had as kids. When they shared a bed.
“Kaachan…?”
“I’m sleeping, shut up”
“I… never knew you felt left behind… I’m... sorry I didn’t notice…I-... If I knew. Maybe I could’ve done something and… maybe we would’ve been friends”
“You mean we’re not friends?”
midorya turned in one move and placed his hand on Bakugo’s shoulder
“Ahh?! No no, that's not what I meant to say, I mean back then when we were kids! I could’ve done something different and then you didn’t have to push me away you see? and, and of course, we’re friends now! We trained together and I told you my secret before anyone else, and I told you before, you’re the one I see when I think of a winning hero, and we even interned together at Endeavor’s agency and you got everyone to come and confront me didn’t you? And only a friend would help me upstairs even today right?”
“Oi!” Bakugo turned around with a glare. “Shut up and go to sleep will you?”
“Ah… yes… sorry Kaachan…” Izuku laid back down. They were facing each other now. Bakugo already had his eyes closed. Was that a… smile? midorya stared at him. Bakugo was happy for once to hear him blurt out a ramble like that. It’s true they could never go back to what they were before. But he was glad to see at least some things wouldn’t change.
“Quit staring at me and sleep!” he said with his eyes still closed.
“Sorry!!” Izuku turned around embarrassed. Hopefully, because Kaachan had his eyes closed he couldn’t tell what he was staring at.
Izuku took a while to fall asleep. The hot breath from the blonde on the back of his neck gave him goosebumps but he didn’t want him to move. Strangely enough, for the first time in a long time, he felt... safe. He turned around as discreetly as he could and smiled at the sight of his nightlight plugged by the door. He was finally able to truly rest for the first time… and probably the last, for a while to come.