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It’s late, the Royal Infirmary quiet once again. The only sounds Zuko could hear were the far off boots of patrolling guards and the labored breaths of the man in the bed.
The report had come in during Sokka's third round with the healers. Suki had stood at his shoulder for the whole thing, her presence a relief and a condemnation at the same time. If she was here then she wasn’t with Izumi, wasn’t with Sokka, which meant that she thought HE was the one in danger, the one who would run off.
The brash teenager he had been when they first met would have already run off. Would have at least spewed fire, burned part of the palace in his rage and fear.
He had been Fire Lord for 15 years now, had mellowed and calmed.
He still wanted to burn the fucking palace down.
Suki only spoke once after they had been given the report. She had sighed, said her piece, and then gone to check on Izumi.
Thank the gods Izumi was alright – neither he nor Sokka would have forgiven themselves if anything had happened to her.
So Zuko sat at Sokka’s bedside, holding his right hand in both of his, just staring at the sleeping man. He loved him so much, more then he had ever imagined he could love (save for Izumi). He couldn’t lose him.
It had been three days. Sokka hadn’t woken up. Suki or her warriors had delivered food and reports, had sent messages to Aang, Toph, Katara, Hakoda, and Bato. They had also delivered something else Zuko had asked for. Something he had spent hours pouring over.
It was time for Zuko’s response to the attack on himself and his husband.
“Could I get some parchment, ink, and pen?” he asked quietly.
“Zuko?” That was Ty Lee, which only made sense. The palace had been attacked, in the Fire Lord’s own chambers as well. Suki would only let her most trusted warriors near him, near them, in the infirmary.
“Parchment, ink, and pen. Please, Ty Lee.”
He hadn’t turned around, just continued to watch Sokka sleep. He heard murmers behind him, feet purposefully shuffled to make noise as they moved, and then the requested items were placed on the table next to him.
“Thank you.”
Ty Lee placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, then moved it to the back of his neck. She placed a soft kiss on his head, resting her cheek there for a moment.
“I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Thank you,” he repeated.
He was loath to move his hands from Sokka’s but he needed at least one to write and the table was to his side. His half blind eye was to the rest of the room, which was dangerous, yet he needed to keep the working one on Sokka. Needed to know if there was the slightest change in his status.
He set everything up on the table the way he liked it, thought another moment, loaded the pen with ink, and began to write.
Azula,
I saved every letter you wrote me. Even the ones you snuck in the early days of my banishment. You see, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were mine, Mom said you were mine, I thought you were mine. I was only two when you were born so I don’t remember what Ozai was like, but I remember Mom placing you in my arms and saying you were mine, to love and protect. I believed her.
Do you know what Sokka said, when he saw your first letter arrive? He said, ‘Be careful with your sister, love, she will do what it takes to survive.’
You’ve always been better at words, verbally and written. You knew what to say to make me smile, to cut me down, to make me think. You and your words always flooded my senses. Your sentences often left me defenseless; you could build palaces out of paragraphs, you built temples.
I’m re-reading the letters you wrote me, I’m searching and scanning for answers in every line for some kind of sign. When we were on the same side, even if it turned out you had your own plans, but when I thought you were mine, the world always seemed to burn.
I’ve gotten the full report on the attack now. You published the letters these extremists wrote to you. You told the whole world how you thought up the plan to attack us in bed. In trying to clear your name with people who looked to use you, you ruined our lives.
Do you know what Suki said, when she'd heard what you’d done? She said, “Your sister has never learned not to fly so close to the sun.”
I’ve read the letters as well. You and your words obsessed with your legacy, your sentences border on senseless, and you are paranoid in every paragraph about how they perceive you. Nothing of me, of the danger to Sokka, to your niece Izumi. It’s all about you, you, you.
Well, in reading those now, at the beside of the man I love, I must make my choice too. I’ve had days to think of how I will respond. I’m going to give this to Ty Lee to give to you, then she will take it back. Because I’ve made my choice.
I’m erasing us from the narrative. Let future historians wonder how Fire Lord Zuko reacted when his sister broke his heart. You’ve torn it all apart, just to watch it burn.
Well, the world has no right to my heart, the world has no right to my head, so they won’t get to know what I said. I’m burning the memories, burning the letters between us that might have redeemed you.
You forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the crown on your head. I know you had hoped to get out, to return to Caldera, but you will stay on that island in the hospital instead. Just you and the memories of when you were my sister.
You have always called me soft, sneered at me for it, and I know that in time I will soften, especially if Sokka lives. But right now, at this moment?
I hope that you burn.
Zuko
Azula would read the letter two days later, along with a proclamation that stripped her of her royal title. Ty Lee would watch her scream and rave.
While she was being sedated for her outburst, Sokka opened his eyes.