Work Text:
☁️
Hirano assumed he knew everything about himself.
Nothing could change since it had always been this way. He had different priorities in his life other than romance, and had no desire in seeking out a partner yet.
Could he have anticipated the special person who holds his heart in the future, showing up at the door? With those adorably bright eyes that seemed to absorb the surrounding colours like a sponge, and the sweet voice that softened his mornings around its rough edges?
Not likely.
When Kagiura Akira entered his life, things began to shift in a way he didn't take notice of.
But he knew things were different.
He knew he missed that someone in his life.
Hirano had always been the type to care after others, but no one truly made an effort to care after him too.
'I want us to be equals.'
Kagi did though.
And he loved his presence in his life.
Which begged the question. What kind of love was it?
☁️
Their trip to the nurse's office was the first domino to be tipped over that day.
The irritation had been building up as the precursor.
He strongly disliked the idea of his puppy eyed roommate avoiding him. Even though they had been spending more time together than usual, Hirano was hyperaware when Kagi was feeling off in any way. And this was the case.
Kagiura was one hell of an overthinker and he realized that even more, hearing him voice out his worry of touching him over ten seconds. In moments like these, he could tell how much he cared about being fair to his feelings and staying in the agreed limit.
But damn. 'Why can't he just touch me normally? Doesn't he know that touching isn't just a couple thing?'
They sat in eachother's presence, with Kagiura bandaging Hirano's ring finger and becoming overwhelmed with emotion to the point where he unexpectedly hugged him.
He didn't know how to react at the time. But strangely, as Kagi pulled away, there was an empty space that he never noticed before.
Hirano questioned himself. Why did he have a full body shiver?
Not being in his arms left Hirano feeling.. cold.
And honestly, he didn't have an answer as to why.
Why did he reminisce in the warmth enveloping him, imagining what it was like to be in his hold again?
It didn't really strike him that he was thinking that, until after they found out they'll continue being roommates.
Hirano laid on the floor of his room, looking out at the cloud shapes forming in the glass of the window, and a distrail painting itself across the sky.
'That doesn't happen everyday.' He thought, turning his head to fondly smile at his roommate. A chuckle escaped his lips while his eyes traced over his expression.
'I have to cherish our time together.. not take it for granted. People like Kagi-kun don't just appear out of nowhere. He's really special.'
'Special to me.'
'Yeah. What's wrong with admitting he's special to me anyway? Anyone would, if they really enjoyed spending time with-'
"Hirano-san."
The argument he was having with himself in his brain came to an abrupt stop.
Kagiura hovered over him with a brilliant pink rushing over his cheeks. But at the last moment, he panicked and scurried away.
As the streak carved its path into the clouds, the line between them grew slimmer.
Hirano didn't flinch when his roommate's face was only a short distance away. It wasn't the first time they had been in close contact together.
But he voiced out a thought soon after he turned his back. It was brief, yet ever so present.
"I guess he wasn't gonna touch me then."
'. . What the hell am I thinking!?'
He scrambled to sit up in a panic, holding his bright red face in his hand.
'Kagi-kun's rubbing off on me now.'
Although he begrudgingly agreed to the touches in the past, they became normal for them.
Yet, the realization that he welcomed the idea of Kagi touching him, made him the most shocked.
His brain had produced a cloud of thought that he never expected in his wildest dreams.
He didn't mind Kagi wanting to be physically close with him.
It was mutual. The desire to be together in such a way.
Just now, he imagined Kagiura lying down next to him and wrapping his arm around his torso. With his nose nuzzled right next to his ear and....
No.
No no 𝘯𝘰.
Hirano used to be so sure of what he felt,
but his own mind betrayed him.
Perhaps, the answer to Kagiura's confession was more complicated than he had inititally thought.
☁️
Sunlight peeked out from between the curtains, reflecting a streak across the ground in the darkened room.
Hirano's alarm began to ring on his phone and he yawned, slowly pulling the blankets off of himself.
The two took turns waking eachother up everyday, and now it was the morning he took responsibility.
This was a normal routine for them. Something that shouldn't be dwelled upon. But given the epiphany that the blonde had in the day prior, waking his roommate was a difficult task.
Hirano stared at the snoozing boy sleeping in the bed in front of him, slowly crouching down to watch as his chest rose and fell with every breath.
This was the person that was in love with him, whose passion was focused squarely on him.
He slowly reached out to run a hand through his hair, hesitant finger tips lightly grazing his scalp.
'Should I even be touching him?' His touches trailed down so he could lightly caress his cheek. 'Heh.. he's so peaceful like this."
"H-Hirano-saan.."
Hirano froze in place, tilting his head and about to respond, until he realized his roommate was still fast asleep.
"Are you calling out my name in your sleep? Silly." He whispered affectionately and sighed. "So damn cute."
A few seconds ticked by and Hirano jolted away. 'I shouldn't be calling him cute so casually. It is.. true but shit, this isn't good.'
Recently, he had been analyzing his feelings and what it could mean. Because he genuinely had no idea when or where it came from.
There wasn't a change in what he felt. It seemed that it had been this way for a while, but the sudden realization made him think '𝘞𝘩𝘺 do I enjoy touching Kagi-kun? I don't feel this way with anyone else.'
Underneath his hand, he could feel his fingertips being enveloped by his soft hair, and the tingle he felt in his skin. It was calming. Touching Kagiura relaxed him and flooded his skin with a soothing warmth.
'What if I..' Hirano brought his free hand closer to his face, lightly poking his nose, but not enough to wake him.
His cheeks began to turn pink at the sheer embarrassment of what he was doing, but taking the time to examine his strikingly handsome features, was too tempting.
He always thought he looked like an idol, with beauty that could make anyone swoon. He knew that. Yet, it never occured to him that he wouldn't think that of anyone else. It was always Kagiura.
"Hirano-san.."
He quickly retracted his hand and hid it behind his back, suspecting that his puppy roommate had been awoken from his slumber.
And the half-lidded eyes looking up at him was confirmation enough.
"Good morning Kagi-kun.. did you sleep well?"
"Mmhm, of course! You were in my dream after all." He slurred his words sleepily, prompting an embarrassed blush from the blonde.
"Oi what was I doing in your dream anyways?"
"I don't have a choice, you know!" He slowly lifted himself from the bed into a seating position, stretching his arms and yawning quietly. "I really love you, Hirano-san, so I dream about you a lot."
"..Hah!? O-Okay, it's time to get up now." Hirano hid his expression with his arm and retreated to his side of the room, with his puppy roommate watching him in confusion.
☁️
"It's so fucking cold." Hirano hissed with a deep frown on his face, hugging himself with his arms as if it would help warm him up.
Kagiura wouldn't be back from basketball practice until an hour later. The weather outside was particularly stormy and the heaters were acting up, according to Hanzawa.
To fill time, he paced their room during study break.
"Maybe I'll get a jacket." He sighed softly and opened his closet to rummage through it, with his eyes immediately landing on a familiar leather jacket.
Images of Kagiura wearing it flashed through his head and he stared blankly at it for a while. "He looked really good in that."
Something beckoned him towards the article of clothing in front of him. Even if leather wasn't the warmest choice right now, he couldn't help but slip it onto his shoulders and look down as the sleeves engulfed his hands.
"Damn his tall height and wide shoulders. I look so small in this." He grumbled to himself and then looked in the mirror.
'It's kinda nice though. A little warm on the inside and..' His thoughts trailed into an entirely different direction, much like it did the previous day.
'It smells like him.'
Hirano's cheeks flared up in realization and he held his face in disbelief. This wasn't what he was used to hearing from his brain. It's like his thoughts started to feed him those BL quotes that Miyano rambled about.
"Dammit.. why the hell am I thinking shit like this?"
Despite his arguments out loud to himself, he didn't feel the need to take his jacket off. Kagiura's scent was so comforting, that the busyness in his mind started to fade away.
So he walked over to his desk to sit again, lifting the sleeve up to his nose and taking a breath in. "This jacket wasn't that nice to wear before, but now it's.. hmm."
It was fascinating. When he resumed his homework for the day, Kagi's comforting presence with him allowed him to be more productive.
He found that was the case when they studied together too. Although nothing could beat the real thing, seeing Kagiura consistently work hard and juggle a millionth things at once. It inspired him to do better.
Fortunately, he finished everything on his list today, right around the time Kagi was expected to return.
Hirano yawned and rubbed at his eyes slightly, "Feeling so damn tired." He leaned forward to rest his head in his arms, decidingly shutting his eyes 'for a moment,' even though it ended being a lot longer.
He just didn't know 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 until he felt a small weight enveloping his back.
It was a blanket draped over him, with Kagi being responsible for the sweet gesture minutes prior.
"Kagi-kun..?"
Kagiura perked up at his name and turned around in his chair to tilt his head, "Oh! You're awake! How was your day, Hirano-san?"
"It was fine. Ah.. I didn't realize I'd fall asleep like that.
"Don't worry too much about it. You looked really cute when I found you all curled up!"
"Oi."
"It's the one I borrowed from you that other day. You look nice in it~"
"It's huge on me, but it's freezing so I have no choice."
"Huh?? Don't you have warmer jackets? I could grab it for you-"
"No. I'm fine with this one."
"O-Okay? But you could also borrow one of my jackets. You prefer oversized clothes right?"
"I do. Yeah." Hirano tried to hide the expression on his face, but he was highly intrigued by the offer.
Kagiura thought of something and briefly turned his gaze away towards their shared closet.
Just as he did that, Hirano's eyes trailed down to look at his hand.
He was always fascinated by it. The feeling of their palms pressed together, how big his fingers were in comparison and how they gently squeezed his smaller ones.
Before he knew it, the blonde began to subconsciously reach out. It wasn't until their hands were an inch apart, that Kagiura shifting away startled him out of his thoughts.
His cheeks turned bright red and he began to panic internally, 'W-What was I about to do!?'
"Here! I'll get one!" Kagiura, oblivious to his roomate's gay crisis, headed over to the other side of the room and went through his jackets. While Hirano hunched over his desk and covered his scorchingly hot face.
It was a few seconds later when he came back in a flash with the clothing in hand, wearing a bright smile to accompany it. "You can wear this!"
Hirano took a deep breath to calm himself, turned his head back towards him, and stared right at the orange varsity jacket being presented to him. It had a 'K' on its left side.
'K for Kagi-kun.' That simple thought brought a smile to his face.
The size (as expected) was huge like the leather jacket was. Two sizes up.
But the moment Hirano slipped it on, he noted that it smelled even more like Kagiura than the previous one. "U-Uh.. thanks, Kagi-kun. This is a lot better."
"Happy to help! I felt bad seeing you shiver." Kagiura's gaze slowly traced over the blonde and his cheeks turned pinker by the second. It was like he was lost in thought and it was hard to discern what was happening in his brain.
"Hey."
"H-Huh?"
"You didn't ask for your ten seconds yet." Hirano tried to sound as casual as possible, but he avoided eye contact, making him all the more suspicious.
"O-Oh? I guess I didn't. It surprises me to hear you bring it up first, Hirano-san."
"Yeah, whatever. Just.. sit on your bed, I'll join you in a second."
Kagiura squeaked softly at the choice of words, but didn't reject the offer.
He scurried over to the edge of his bed, anxiously awaiting like a pet being promised a treat. Which is exactly what it felt like.
Hirano neatly put away his study materials, before following shortly after to sit beside him.
A brief silence hung over their heads, with unspoken glances and subtle shifts to get closer to eachother.
But the sapphire-eyed boy spoke up first in a wave of determination,
"Let's hug."
Kagiura let out a comical gasp, not expecting his sempai roommate to be initiating their touches, especially one of this kind.
"Y-You want to hug me? But.. I still feel sorry what happened in the nurse's office. It doesn't matter how much I want you to be mine. You weren't-"
"Yeah. It WAS weird because I've never been hugged like that before. but dammit, I'm fine with you hugging me now. It's freezing and this is the best thing I could think of. Do it before I change my mind."
"A-Are you sure?" There was a hint of disbelief in his voice, as if he couldn't fathom what he was hearing or saying.
Hirano sighed softly and his approach became a lot more gentle, softening his tone to calm him down, "I'm okay with it. I promise."
"Mhh.." Kagiura nodded slowly before lifting up his blanket, wrapping it around Hirano. "You said you're cold, right? Maybe this'll make you more comfortable!"
"Y-Yeah. Thanks."
Hirano thought a lot of things through, but this one was a 'in the moment' decision. Being on Kagi's bed, covered in his jacket/blanket, and now about to hug him. His senses were overwhelmed to put it lightly.
The hug they shared in the nurse's office couldn't compare to this.
Kagiura wrapped his warm embrace around his blanketed figure, carefully cradling his head to his shoulder.
10..
Despite the heat tickling his cheeks, Hirano responded by pushing aside the blanket a little and nuzzling into his grip.
Hesitant, and comparably smaller arms, lifted to grip the fabric of his hoodie. And Kagi reacted with his breath hitching in surprise.
9..
'Shit.. how is he so warm?'
This felt different. The previous time, Kagiura was tense and unsure, less relaxed.
Now, it was like his giant puppy roommate melted into his arms like jelly. As protection against the chilly weather, they carefully held eachother in the privacy of their room.
If they were both being honest, it was hard to tell if either cared to meticulously keep count anymore.
8..
Hirano took a slow breath in, the grip on the taller boy's jacket getting slightly tighter. It would be pointless to lie and say he wasn't relaxed as well. Being in Kagi's arms made him feel so safe.
7..
A hesitant hand reached up to gently smooth down the messy blonde strands of hair.
Kagiura's action didn't startle him. Instead, it coaxed him into relaxing further into his arms.
6..
He caught himself drifting off a little, when his eyelids started to droop too quickly for his liking. 'Dammit, I can't just fall asleep on him.'
5..
Hirano shifted his face to get a peek at him, only to see that Kagiura was already planning on glancing in his direction.
They locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, despite the agreed time limit already coming to a close.
4..
He could feel Kagiura slowly moving in closer, only to decide at the last moment to pull back. They were only a breath apart, but the blonde had no interest in resisting what could've happened.
The thoughts in his brain were heavy, begging him for a platonic explanation as to why Kagi being so close was something he itched for. But he always drew a blank.
He was exasperated with these new and overwhelming feelings. Mad at himself.
Since for the first time recently, he admitted to himself that he welcomed the touches and desired them more frequently.
3..
"Kagi-kun.."
"Hmm?" Kagiura retreated shyly to hide in the crook of his neck, completely disregarding the fact that the boy wrapped in his hold was red all over.
2..
"Kagi-kun. Look up at me."
So he did, with his dark coffee eyes gleaming up at him in curiosity.
'Adorable.'
Hirano observed how his irises seemed to reflect multiple colours, especially the deep orchid in the center.
It was physically impossible to tear his gaze away from the delicate features on his face.
Seeing his smile picked up his mood, for reasons he couldn't explain. He longed to trace every inch of him and memorize it by heart.
And he succumbed to (a part) of his desires.
"Hira-"
1..
Soft lips hesitantly pressed onto Kagiura's forehead, prompting him to let out a squeak in surprise.
They had already reached the ten seconds but Hirano sat unwavered, pressing another light kiss on the space between his eyebrows.
Another five seconds flew by, making their daily touch 15 seconds in total when he eventually pulled away, and a shiver ran through his body.
'It's cold again.'
Kagiura's eyes were wide in disbelief, while his bold roommate grew shy and embarrassed under his stare.
'I kissed him. I kissed him on his forehead. Why did I kiss him? Why did I feel so happy doing it? Why is my heart pounding?'
His brain grew louder and louder, until a soft gentle voice cut between the noise.
"H-Hirano-san, why did you..? I thought you didn't-" Kagi pressed his lips together in a tight line, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. As if he was internally lecturing himself that what he's thinking could never happen.
And Hirano could see it.
The fact that this was something he never expected himself to do, made him all the more frustrated.
Why couldn't he understand himself? The last thing he wants to do is hurt the most special person in his life, yet he wished to continue being with him like this.
"I was being selfish. I'm sorry."
He finally realized. Not only does he like Kagiura touching him, but their daily routine isn't something he wants to let go of. The idea of suddenly stopping made him uncomfortable.
"Selfish?"
It looked like the gears in Kagiura's head were turning and he gently tugged on the shorter boy's jacket sleeve.
"I thought I was the selfish one all this time."
"You're not."
"But I am. You always agree to my requests to touch like lovers do, even though you don't love me back. Hirano-san, your heart is so kind and caring. But you don't have to force yourself if it-"
Hirano could tell the difference between his geniune expressions and the ones that were just for show. It felt like he was putting on a smile as to not worry him, but he wasn't convinced.
He held his face with a determined expression, squishing his cheeks up against his palms. "You. Dummy."
"Huh?"
"I kissed you on the head cause I worry about your silly brain overthinking everything again. Dammit.."
Kagiura's cheeks heated up underneath his palms, "I don't have a problem with you kissing me.. anywhere you'd want. It just feels too good to be true.." He trailed off, opening his mouth a little to say something.
Hirano waited patiently, slowly taking his hands off of his face and looking up at him with those sparkly blue eyes.
"... Remember in the nurse's office, when I told you I was worried about touching you over our agreed time limit?"
He paused for a moment and then continued, "It might've sounded silly to care over losing a single second, but I want you to care. You're trying so hard to understand my feelings and it just hurts sometimes knowing you probably don't feel anything touching me. I just.." He resisted urge to cry, but he couldn't help the small beads of tears forming at the corner of his eyes as he spoke.
Through his blurred vision, he noticed Hirano shift a bit closer to him on the mattress. Most likely a way to let him know he was listening intently.
"I-I want to understand you better too. Maybe one day.. one day I'll fit your idea of what romance means to you. But for now, I don't want to be unfair or cross any lines. Every second touching you is precious to me. Every second being with you is precious to me.. because I care about you."
He exhaled a shaky breath, relieved to finally get it off his chest, but also worried.
For a while, it was a challenge to keep eye contact, but he mustered up the courage to look at Hirano. Who was beet red, staring at him with a look of fondness.
After the few (long) moments of silence, the blonde cleared his throat, "I think I get how you feel now.. erm.. my point still stands though. It's not unfair if you touch me outside the ten seconds and it won't make me uncomfortable. I'd rather have that, than you staring at me like a goldfish in the morning and refusing to touch my shoulder to wake me."
"Hirano-san.. everytime it's my turn to wake you, you're always awake and pretending to sleep." Kagiura pouted childishly.
"Hah. You got me there, but I'll be fast sleep one of these days."
"Yeah."
Hirano sighed softly, "Look, I just don't want you worrying too much. But I appreciate you wanting to be patient and considerate of how I feel." He reached up to ruffle his hair, noticing his puppy-like kouhai instantly relaxing under his hand.
"Well.. I love you after all."
He averted his gaze and covered his flushed face with his wrist, slowly beginning losing cool as seconds passed. "You really like to use that L word, don't you?"
"Hmm? Love? It's true though." Kagi sniffled and erupted into giggles.
"You little brat."
Hirano playfully shook his head in disbelief at his bold roommate, then shifted into reflecting on the entire conversation with careful calculation.
'How can I ease his worries from my end?'
Perhaps one of the issues was that Kagiura always made the first move and felt worried that he was asking too much of him.
'That might be it. So how can I help with that?'
"Are you okay?" Kagi's worried voice cut through his thoughts and that's when he had an epiphany.
Hirano avoided his stare in uncertainty, until he looked at him with determination in the last moment.
Yes. This was the right decision.
"I have.. a needy request."
"H-Huh?!"
"From now on, I'm going to ask you for touches too."
Kagiura burst into a smile. The familiar, loveable, and joyous expression on his face that made his skin tingle with warmth.
'So damn pretty for no reason.' He thought, getting lost in the familiar sparkle and soft orchid blooming in the middle of his dark irises.
"Hirano-san! I love you!!"
Hirano let out a flustered noise at the unexpected comment, as if he was stifling a giddy laugh from escaping his lips. But he caught it just in time to compose himself, turning red and growing embarrassed beyond belief. "O-Oi..!"
From Kagi's perspective though, his face contorted into one of frustration, which confused the hopeful puppy-eyed boy.
"Mmmm, you've been getting upset at my confessions lately." Kagi pouted, "Should I.. not do that as much anymore?"
"Huh?" He was geniunely confused at how his own reaction to that was interpreted as. Even if he didn't completely understand it himself, what he did know for sure, is that he could 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 hate Kagi expressing his heart to him.
"I'm not upset at you. I'm serious."
"O-Oh..!"
'I'm upset at myself. I don't know what I'm blushing so much about. I thought I didn't like him. Is it really true.. that my feelings can change?'
Alas, he couldn't voice that out loud.
Not yet.
"It's nothing. Now let's get back to studying."
☁️
A couple of weeks flew by. The school break had ended and their short time apart left the blonde to sit in his thoughts.
There was one thing he couldn't shake off while being in his parents' home, in a room with only him in it. The feeling of loneliness.
It felt familiar, since he had grown up there after all, but he became too used to the adorable face he woke up to every morning.
The first night wasn't so bad, but the second night was when he started having thoughts of 'Kagi-kun would ask for touches right about now.'
He shook his head to dispel that way of thinking when it arose. Truthfully, the only thing that kept him from spiraling was Kagiura's spontaneous calls. Or when they texted eachother til late in the night.
As school started up again, everyone fell back into their routine. For Hirano, that was greeting his bright eyed and bushy tailed roommate with an affectionate smile only directed at him.
And it was the beginning of their new agreement.
Just as promised, Hirano initiated a few of their touches, mostly in the evenings after a long day. Since Kagiura would often ask for them in the mornings.
There were the occasional forehead kisses on the days where Kagiura seemed really stressed out or exhausted.
He attempted to come up with excuses and claimed them to be acts of affection, only because he cares about him.
Although, Kagiura wasn't so convinced. He noticed the gradual change in Hirano's actions recently, but he didn't complain.
Receiving attention like this from the person he loves was something he couldn't resist. Hirano kissing him on the forehead was something he could only witness in his dreams. It happened in small doses, but it filled him with joy nonetheless.
Even though it wasn't on the lips, which is what he desired so often, it made his heart beat in excitement.
"Kagi-kun!?" Hirano ran into him unexpectedly in the hallway, watching him light up like a ray of sunshine. One that dazzled so brightly it made him squint.
The school day had just been wrapping up, so it was miraculous timing that they found eachother.
"Hirano-saaaan~" Kagiura sang out his name, jogging up to his side and linking their arms together. He felt a little more comfortable doing so after their conversation, but still kept it to a minimum.
Still, it was a relief that he wasn't worrying about holding his arm anymore.
Contrary to popular belief, Hirano was okay with this sort of touchy behaviour in public. It just so happened that he only accepted it from Kagi.
"I don't have practice today! Do you wanna go somewhere?"
He pondered for a moment and then looked at him curiously, "Where were you thinking?"
"Hmm.. I remember that one night you told me all about your love for airplanes. Well the sky is really nice today and there's no one on the school's rooftop~"
A giggle escaped Kagiura's lips, seeing the way his sempai roommate immediately laced their fingers together and pulled him down the hallway eagerly.
"You know me too well. Let's go."
"I could say the same for you!"
Hirano turned to grin at him before running up the stairwell, with Kagi close behind.
"Pfft.. true. It's a given that I know you better than anyone else and I pride myself for it."
Kagi side eyed him while opening the door at the very top, "That's kinda suspicious, Hirano-san.."
"Hah?! Why the hell would it be suspicious?"
"Niibashi knows me pretty well too but you seem to be brag a lot about it. Are you sure you don't secretly have a crush on me?"
Hirano hesitated and attempted to shift the conversation, "W-What have you possibly told him that you haven't told me already!?"
"Huh? Well, we talk about you sometimes-"
"Oi."
"It's not anything bad, just.." Kagi sighed softly, closing the door behind Hirano and finding a spot on a bench. "Before I confessed to you and even after, I needed someone to talk with about my feelings. Even though I wanted to tell you everything, I couldn't let myself do that."
Hirano leaned against the wired fence in front of the bench, listening intently.
"I'm pretty sure he gets sick of it sometimes, but he still listened."
"I'm happy you have a friend like that, Kagi-kun. Well.. other than me since we don't see eachother much during school hours."
Kagiura pouted up at him, "I don't wanna be just friends though.. of course I want it to feel like we're best friends, but I wanna be your lover too."
"Mm." Hirano nodded slowly, before tilting his head at the shy expression on his face.
"Besides.. it's not like I could've told you what I told Niibashi. It's too embarrassing."
"Try me. I don't think it'd be that bad."
Kagiura remembered a familiar phrase and turned pink at the thought, but quickly shook it away. Then there was something else he recalled.
"..Well, Niibashi asked me if I wanted to kiss you."
Hirano froze in place, blinking up at him in disbelief.
Despite the lack of response, Kagi continued, "I knew I wanted to marry you but I didn't think too deeply about things like that. Well until, I did and.." He tipped his head up to directly stare into Hirano's eyes. "I realized I wanted to kiss your lips so badly."
Hirano's breath hitched. It was happening again. That racing in his chest, the heat flooding his face, and the stare that seemed to render him speechless.
Kissing Kagiura on the lips.. huh.
It was something he was on the brink of thinking about, especially when he started to peck his forehead every once and a while. He always loved his smile and cute little pouts. But kept any of those thoughts outside his brain before they could spiral any further.
"A-Ah..!" Hirano cleared his throat and scrambled away, finding a place to lie down on the ground away from the bench. "The sky might look better from up here."
"Hirano-san, what if your jacket gets dirty? You could always lie down on my lap. Uhm.. if you want."
The offer was intriguing. Being that close to Kagi and his scent embracing him the way it always did. It definitely sounded more comfortable. "You're okay with that?"
"Yeah, of course!" Kagiura wiggled a little in anticipation, which convinced the blonde to make his way over to the bench again with a sigh.
He sat on the cool surface and shifted his body to lie his head onto Kagiura's lap. "Damn.. your thighs are as solid as ever."
Kagiura huffed softly, "I'm supposed to a pillow for you!! If you're uncomfortable then-"
"Nah." Hirano waved it off with a grin, "It's actually kinda nice here. I could get used to this."
"Hirano-saaaan~" He pouted his signature pout and Hirano poked his cheek immediately after.
"Kagi-kun~ Look up at the sky."
"Hm?" Kagiura tilted his chin up and then scanned the clouds. "Where?"
He gently guided Kagi's hand and pointed it up the white line forming into the sky, "There."
"Oh! Isn't that the.. uhm.. cocktail?"
Hirano stared at him in disbelief and snickered, bursting into laughter a moment later. "K-K-Kagi-kun, you're so fucking cute!"
"What!? Isn't that what it's called??" Kagiura blinked innocently, which made his roommate curl into a shrimp on his lap from how hilarious this was.
"Contrail contrail!" He managed to get a response out between his chuckles, eventually calming down after a few moments. "I only laugh this way with you, huh?"
Kagiura's ears turned red and he distracted himself by looking up at the streak decorating the sky. "So what's special about that one? It didn't fade away quickly like I've seen with others."
"The one you're talking about is a short-lived contrail. But this one in particular's a persistent non-spreading contrail. It stays in the sky longer after the aircraft's out of sight."
"Ohh!" Kagi nodded, while subconscously reaching down to play with the tousled blonde hair splayed over his lap.
He looked beautiful like this and it was near impossible to keep his hands away. And it seemed that Hirano didn't have a problem with it either, leaning into his touch even more.
"I don't know much about the topic but I like seeing you get really excited about it. You have that sparkle in your eye and pretty smile on your face." Kagiura thought out loud, fondly.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
Whenever Hirano recalled a time where he felt this happy, it was always with Kagi.
His sunshine rays were so contagious that he felt himself grin the biggest and brightest he ever has before.
It filled his veins. He couldn't stop the feeling from bubbling over every inch of him.
His scent, his kind eyes, adorable voice.. it overwhelmed him in the best way possible.
Even if he assumed it was boring to others, Kagi saying that he enjoys hearing him talk about his hobby, was something he didn't know he needed.
Just the fact made him so unspeakably happy, he just wanted to reach up and..
Oh.
𝘖𝘩.
No matter how strong he was, Hirano Taiga couldn't resist the temptation of letting his eyes trail down to the curves of his lips.
Before his brain could catch up with his mouth, he opened it to speak,
"Kagi-kun, can we do our ten second touch now?"
"Hmm? That's okay with me. What did you wanna do?"
"It's deviating from our regular routine a bit."
"Oh?" Kagiura looked down at him, puzzled, and booped his nose to get him out of his trance like state.
"Hirano-san?"
"Can you kiss me?"
Shit.
The original intention was to ask if Kagi could kiss his forehead, but it didn't come out that way.
And now that the latter was in his mind, he debated if it was worth taking back, when he desired both just as much.
Kagiura inhaled sharply, his body freezing in place at the words he could only fantasize of hearing. "H-Hira-"
"U-Uh- You don't have to actually do it or anything. It'd be unfair for me to ask that of you, when I've rejected you so many times until recently." He stammered and averted his eyes because of what he just blurted out.
"You.. have you ever felt this before?"
"The desire to kiss someone? Hell no. All the daily touches are completely new. And I'd only do it with you."
"Really..?"
"Look, you really don't have to. Shove me off of you and call me an asshole. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. Your feelings are so goddamn important to me but I don't know how to think about mine."
Hirano rambled all while lying on his lap, covering his face with his hands, beyond flustered by everything he was admitting.
"God I don't even know why that slipped out- it's not wrong but.." He groaned in annoyance, "All I know is I'm perfectly okay with touching you everyday. And before you say anything, it's not fair of me to ask you to kiss me when I haven't figured out how I feel towards you. So you really don't have to."
Kagiura sealed his lips shut at the last part, but overall, felt teary eyed at how touched he was.
He hadn't remembered the last time Hirano talked this quickly, but he felt a deep appreciation for how much he tried communicating his feelings to him.
"Hirano-san, does that mean.. your answer to me isn't a 'no' anymore?"
"Yeah. Recently, I can't seem to reject you."
"Really? So you'll think about it?"
"I'll.. try. I found it awkward as hell to think about romance this much, but at the very least, I owe this much to you. You deserve a proper answer."
Kagi smiled softly and felt his heart race in excitement, 'Well at least he's honest. And I have a chance now!!' He thought.
"I appreciate that a lot. Uhm.." He couldn't get one thing out of his head though. "Why do want to kiss me, even if you're not sure?"
Hirano let out a nervous chuckle, "Hhah.. uh, not sure if you noticed but when I get really passionate about something, I don't always think things through. Involuntarily slipped out, I guess."
"Like when you kept insisting you wanted to see my abs?"
"You were taking off your shirt in front of me when I was talking to you. It's not my fault that you have insane muscles."
To keep the conversation from getting more embarrassing, he changed the topic back onto the right track. "So.. you were thinking about my lips then?" Kagiura tilted his head, keeping his voice light and teasing, which his sempai looked more than flustered by.
"Didn't I already imply that?! Don't make me repeat it."
"Aww but it's so much fun seeing you blush~!"
"You cheeky brat."
"So you wanna kiss me, huh? Well you've made me wait all this time so..~"
The moment Hirano turned his head to look again, he felt Kagi bend down to press a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"I'll make you wait too."
A flustered and embarrassed noise escaped from the blonde's lips. One that he's never heard himself make.
"K-Kagi-kun!"
One look and he could tell that Kagiura was elated with the turn of events. And his smug smile seemed to get wider at the sound. 'Hirano-san wants to kiss me.. for real. Staying hopeful really did pay off.' He thought.
"Think about how that made you feel and maybe it'll help you."
"Huh? How it ma-"
Another kiss, but this time Kagi pressed his lips against the button of his nose.
"Is your heart beating quicker? Is your face warm? Do you wanna kiss anyone else or just me?" Kagiura playfully questioned him and maintained a hushed tone to keep the moment private, only for his roommate's ears to hear.
Every single answer to those questions were pointing to 'yes.'
And Hirano knew that he could see right through him. It was driving him up the wall.
"It was always just you, silly." Hirano grumbled to himself, folding his arms and sinking even further into his Kagi lap pillow, as if the distance would help clear his thoughts.
Kagiura smiled fondly down at him and thought, 'I love him..'
He reached his hand down and poked the edge of his mouth with his finger tip, reveling in the small squeak that reached his ears.
Hirano's sapphire eyes widened in surprise, immediately directed up at him.
"Hm?" Kagiura simply tilted his head at the reaction and traced his finger tip over his cupid's bow, then down to his bottom lip.
The skin underneath his touch grew warmer and he observed the way he flushed a lovely shade of red.
"Your lips are as soft as they look, Hirano-san. I've been wanting to feel them on mine for over three months now. But.." He sighed softly, "I need you to be sure that you want this."
The truth is,
Kagiura was a little scared.
The person who held his heart at the palm of his hand, finally desired a kiss from him. But what if he didn't end up enjoying it after all? He was sure there were some sort of romantic feelings, though the idea of accidentally messing up the kiss and driving him away, plagued his mind.
"You probably want to take time thinking and.. well I'm worried I'm gonna screw up. This 𝘪𝘴 your first kiss!"
'My first.' The thought echoed in Hirano's mind. He had experienced many of those in their time together as roommates. So the idea of it being with Kagi felt.. comforting.
"Kagi-kun." He spoke firmly to snap him out of his overthinking state, still a little flushed because the taller boy had been subconsciously touching his lips as he talked.
"H-Hmm?? Sorry." Kagiura stilled his hand, pulling it away quickly to his side. And just like it was for the hugging, Hirano craved his touch when he held back. He couldn't take it anymore.
"No. Keep doing that. I don't care about the time limit anymore. Just touch me when you want to and don't worry about it."
"You.. don't care about the time limit!???" Kagiura looked at him as if he grew a second head and he snickered in response.
"We can still do our ten seconds but.." Hirano trailed off, avoided eye contact, took ahold of his hand again, and pressed his lips onto his fingers this time. "I'd gladly let you go over."
Self restraint was slipping on both of their ends. They wanted to make eachother comfortable first and foremost. But despite one of them struggling with his feelings, their hearts were on the same page.
Closer. This wasn't close enough.
"H-Hirano-san..? Are you sure you're-"
"Kagi-kun." His voice was almost pleading, a little whiny, and most of all.. the type of vulnerable he had never heard from his roommate.
"I'm sure of what I want right now. In this moment. Ugh.. I might not understand how I 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭. I just know that I want you to be close to me." He breathed, half expecting steam to come out of his own ears from how hot his face was,
"As long as it's you, you can kiss me if you want. I don't care if we both suck at it. I want you to touch me, dammit. Don't go avoiding it just for my sake."
Kagiura's heart began to melt. That couldn't have been easy for him to admit out loud. He knew how difficult it was to talk about his emotions.
The invisible line between them began to fade when the blonde sat up on the bench and adjusted himself so they were sitting face to face, on the same level.
He couldn't deny his own desires anymore, not when the other boy had insisted that it was okay.
The way Hirano sounded made Kagi want to ravish him with kisses until he couldn't form coherent sentences anymore, but maybe that was a little too much for their public school rooftop.
In the midst of more doubts resurfacing, Hirano cupped his cheek with one hand and ruffled his hair in the other.
The way he touched him was so gentle, that he couldn't help the fond sparkle in his own eyes.
"Okay." Kagiura breathed out, nodding slowly.
'I need to stay calm, I need to stay calm.. AHHHHH HE'S SO CUTE!!!!!'
His thoughts were chaotic, which was a given since he had been pining after him for months. But this was unbeknownst to Hirano, whose vibrant blush never faded as he stared at him in anticipation.
It had seemed that Kagi's blush was determined to match his, as he watched Hirano's eyelids flutter close and lean his face forward slightly. As if encouraging him to go ahead and make the move.
Upon first glance, one would think he was quite bold and confident. His kouhai roommate knew him better than that though.
His eyes caught the trembling of Hirano's smaller hands and how his fingers awkwardly clenched the fabric of his pants.
Kagiura smiled fondly at him and lightly caressed his knuckle with his pinky. "Gimme your hand." He whispered to not startle him.
The blushing blonde (unsurprisingly) didn't flinch at the sudden contact. These days, hand holding was second nature to the both of them. So he complied with his request, sighing in relief at the feeling of their fingers entwined with eachother again. Warmth. Comfort. 'Being with Kagi-kun makes me feel so safe to be myself.'
'I.. love. I really love him. Is this what love is?'
Hirano thought deeply, peeking to look at the taller boy seated in front of him, only for them to meet eyes.
The look of adoration on Kagiura's face. That gentleness. It made his stomach flutter.
Slender fingers cupped one side of his cheeks, inducing him to meet his stare with a half-lidded gaze,
"Kagi-kun.." It was the only name he was capable of uttering in a moment like this, and the only thing he could speak before their lips melted together.
What did he expect his first kiss to feel like?
Kagiura had went on a tangent one day, gushing about how kisses with the right person felt magical. Serene. Like a dizzying rush of butterflies. Though as time goes along, they're intimate gestures that hold several different meanings.
Of course, they can represent passion or sweet love, but even served as encouragement. Morning kisses, welcome home kisses, just showing you care for the other person in their lowest moments.
And to Hirano, that didn't sound so bad.
Especially when his free hand desperately gripped the edge of his sweater to bring him closer.
He thought to himself. Holding his Kagi-kun like this and kissing that adorable smile, was something he wanted to do for the rest of life. Not just once or twice.
The moment he tasted it, he couldn't get Kagiura's soft and pillowy lips out of his mind.
Their mouths pressed a little closer, as Kagi gently held the bottom of his chin and inclined it towards him. It felt overwhelming in all the right ways and Hirano couldn't get enough of it.
He decidedly slid closer to him on the bench, adjusting both of his arms to wrap around his torso and lightly clenching the fabric of his uniform between his fist. This was the warmth he craved, combined with their lips moving against eachother.
Being in eachother's arms, kissing under a beautiful blue sky..
Hirano had never been in a flight simulator before, but this had to be the closest thing he'd ever felt to floating amongst the clouds.
Kagi brought one of his hands down to hold his waist and it covered so much of his skin that he felt himself shiver. Not because of the cold this time.
His grip felt protective and strong, yet so gentle as if he was handling him with care. It made him chuckle a bit.
"Mm?" The noise of confusion only made Hirano more amused, prompting him to ruffle his hair and give it a playful tug.
Just as he was expecting, Kagiura squeaked against his lips and got all pouty about it. "Hirano-saaan~" He whined and quickly sought out revenge, by playing with his earlobe and the sparkly blue gem adorning it.
"These are proof that you're all mine."
Hirano didn't feel anything from the past remarks and actions, but the way he said that so directly made him feel so much smaller in his arms. He reluctantly pulled away from his lips, panting softly, with his cheeks set ablaze. "Kagi-kun.."
"Hmm? I'm just being honest." Kagiura giggled at how shy he got all of a sudden and peppered soft kisses onto his cheeks.
"So.. did kissing me help at all?"
"Yeah, damn right it did. Now we have another problem."
The puppy eyed boy tilted his head in curiosity, "What's that?"
"How am I going to go an entire school day without kissing you tomorrow?"
Hirano was dead serious when he said that, which made stifling back laughter near impossible.
"Then you don't have to!"
"Hm?"
Kagiura nuzzled his nose against his blonde hair, warm breath tickling his ear as he whispered, "After your Disciplinary Committee meeting, the classroom's empty."
"K-KAGI-KUN!"
"Just teasing you, Hirano-san~ Hehe, you liked that idea more than I thought."
He narrowed his eyes at him, ruffling his hair again as if it would wipe that smug smile off his face,
"Talking with you helped me understand my feelings a lot."
"I'm happy it did." Kagiura beamed in delight and pressed a quick kiss on his forehead. "I love you so much, Hirano-san!!"
"..Can you say that again?"
"Say what again?"
Hirano huffed in embarrassment and fixed his gaze on the sky above them to distract himself.
"You know what I meant."
"Hmm.." Kagi smiled smugly and leaned forward into his seat, caging him in with his arms. Hirano-san, I love you~"
After a quiet flustered squeak echoed through the air, his persistence never faltered. "Again."
He gently took his smaller hand and pressed a kiss on each of his fingers, all while staring at his face, "I. love. you. so. much."
Hirano peeked over and the sight he was met with made his heart race, "Kagi-kun.."
"You can take your time with saying it back." Kagiura nuzzled his cheek against his palm, "I just can't help but express my feelings to you. So let me know if you're ever uncomf-"
"No way." Hirano shook his head, resolutely. "I admire your transparency with your feelings. Always have." He cleared his throat, as if it would quell his nerves,
"I-I.. really like that you love me."
"You do?"
"God, don't make me repeat it again." Hirano groaned, pressing his forehead against Kagi's chest, and making the effort to say it anyway. "I like that you love me, because I love..-" He peeked up at him and quickly hid his face again. "This is embarrassing as hell."
After giggling over the cuteness of the blonde, he wrapped his arms around him and lightly combed his hair with his fingers.
"I heard all I needed to hear~!"
"..We have to go back to our room eventually, you know. You're gonna catch a cold from the breeze up here and I'm not gonna let that happen."
"Aww.. but I wanted to watch the dinner-rolls with my sweet and caring Hirano-san~"
Hirano deadpanned and snickered, holding back until it was physically impossible anymore. He erupted into a fit of laughter, tumbling into the taller boy's arms fully and letting him catch his fall.
"Do you mean a 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘭, Kagi-kun!? That doesn't even sound remotely similar. Did you not eat lunch or something?"
Kagiura waited, even through the agonizingly long days, but the wait was worth it. Seeing the bright smile on his face, in this moment, was everything in the universe to him.
"I'm actually kinda hungry, yeah.."
"Alright then." He tried his hardest to calm down from the giggles and slowly stood onto his feet. After stretching his arms with a yawn and brushing down his uniform a bit, Hirano offered a hand to him. "Let's go feed that cute face of yours. And if you're lucky, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 I'll treat you and eat all of your green peppers this time."
"Hirano-saaaan~!"