Chapter Text
There was one very poorly-kept secret in Camelot: the Knights of the Round Table were not straight. That, and the fact that Merlin had magic, were facts known by everyone in the lower town and the majority in the middle town, and whispered as only slightly-believed gossip amongst the lords and ladies in the castle.
The most well-recorded was Gwaine. He was not shy in his exploits. Both men and women (and sometimes both) had stumbled out of his room with a satisfied look and unsteady steps. He never hid his philandering – in fact, in all of Camelot the list of people he hadn’t flirted with would have been less than a page long.
He was roguish, and objectionable, but he respected everyone’s wishes and never crossed the line onto uncomfortable territory. Most women had learned that if a man became too aggressive in his attentions, any knight could be counted on protect them, but Gwaine would throw the man out on his ass.
Everyone also knew of the love he held for the Prince’s manservant, Merlin.
It was hard to find someone that didn’t love Merlin. Platonically or romantically, he drew people in, none more so than the knights. Gwaine, however, stood out even amongst them. The other knights were never able to nail down exactly what type of love the knight and servant boy shared. At times they sat together, heads so close that one could mistake it for an embrace. Other times, they laughed and joked like brothers, Gwaine amusing Merlin with takes of his latest conquests.
Either way, they were close. Everyone in Camelot knew that Gwaine served Merlin first, Arthur second. And everyone, including Arthur, was alright with that. Unfortunately, not everyone outside of Camelot had gotten the message.
~M~
It was a warm spring day. The Lord and Lady of something or other would be staying in Camelot for two weeks, and expected the entire royal household to greet them. Arthur had already selected George and Ardan to serve them for their stay. George was ridiculously efficient, and would gladly meet the high standards the visitors demanded. Ardan had been serving the royal family since Arthur was learning to walk, and one would be hard pressed to find a more knowledgeable servant.
They would hopefully keep Lord Mellean and Lady Anaver (who were strict and cruel, and honestly Arthur would have gladly refused their visit if not for their high status and wealth and their many, many, many friends) happy. So Arthur had pulled out all the stops to try and make this visit as painless as possible.
“If they’re too much of a nightmare, I can have a relapse of mind control and deal with them for you,” Morgana whispered to Merlin and Gwen.
After Uther’s death, Merlin had been angry, angrier than he could ever remember. Wanting one less problem to worry about, he'd tracked Morgana down. He'd been Drogon, and had easily bested her. He'd stood above her, ready to end her life. Then, seeing her fear, and how lost she was, he remembered one of his first conversations with Gauis.
He'd been worried that his magic made him monstrous, but he couldn't stop using it any more than he could breathing. Gaius hadn't had the answer to his dilemma, but he had been a confidante, someone Merlin could rely on for help.
Morgana hadn't had someone like that, and she might not be too far gone yet. So Merlin took a chance.
As Drogon he had bound Morgana's magic, and then the disguise dropped. There was screaming, cursing, and the throwing of twigs, rocks and leaves, but Morgana had listened, and eventually, she'd heard Merlin's words.
And she finally saw Arthur. Saw that Arthur was different, knew Arthur was different from Uther, better than Uther.
There was a convoluted plan, involving Drogon and Morgana showing up at Camelot, Gwen hitting Drogon in the head with a pot, and "freeing Morgana from the mind control" that Morgause and Drogon had forced on her.
Merlin kept a grip on her magic, ready to bind her again at a misstep, but with Merlin to talk to and healthy love and affection from Gwen, Morgana began to heal. But she still had to be careful. She still displayed enough of her spark that people remembered, but she couldn't overdo it. Muttering threats to the only two other people who would know it was a joke was a habit the three of them shared.
“I can have another fire nightmare. Just put them in the room beside mine,” Morgana said softly, not moving from her relaxed position.
“You dislike them that much?” Merlin asked, returning to his spot behind Arthur after fixing his cape.
“Last time they were here, they insulted Gwen.”
That alone explained her foul opinion of them. She didn’t take kindly to people disrespecting Gwen, and her protectiveness had only increased since she returned and they had started (or restarted, if rumors were to be believed) their romance.
They watched Lord Mellean's procession. Why any noble needed that many people and that much stuff for one trip to Camelot was baffling. Merlin, however, didn’t say anything, as he watched a man step out of the carriage.
He was very tall and very thin, looking as though he'd been stretched out. Despite looking a few years younger than Uther, he had a head full of thin, white hair. He held his hand out to help his second wife out of the carriage. His first wife had given him a son and two daughters, before both she and one of the girls had passed in a sudden sickness that the Lord Mellean still thought was caused by magic. He had married his second wife three years later, and they had a single son together. She was much younger than him, and said to be quite the beauty, but as she stepped out of the carriage, all Merlin could see were her pursed lips, and how she seemed to look down her nose at everyone.
Arthur stepped forward, and Merlin followed as if attached by strings, George and Ardan a single step behind him. Merlin kept forgetting that he technically outranked all the other servants in the castle, being the King’s personal servant.
“Lord Mellean, Lady Anaver, it is a pleasure to welcome you to Camelot," Arthur said, as his guests bowed before him.
Merlin, Morgana, and the Knights tensed when they noted that the bow was not as low as it should be. These two were not very bright. They may have power in court, but right then, they were in front of the people loyal to Arthur above all else, and had made all of them mad.
Arthur did not miss a beat, ignoring the snub.
“I’ve assigned George and Ardan to be at your disposal while here. I’m sure that they, along with your own servants, will be able to meet all your needs while in Camelot.”
He appeared to be calm and collected. Merlin, however, could tell by the line of his shoulder that Arthur wasn't oblivious to the disrespect, but was trying to avoid causing a scene. While Merlin was proud of Arthur’s growth, he would have paid to see the young, impulsive Arthur deal with these two.
“What about your servant?” Lord Mellean asked, his voice smooth, but with an edge that rose hairs along the napes of everyone's necks.
“My servant?” Arthur asked, and even he noticed that all the knights and guards had stiffened, tense at the thought of what this man would say about Merlin.
“Is he not available? After all, I don’t want to deal with sub par help," Mellean sneered, looking at George and Ardan. Merlin clenched his fists behind his back, tugging lightly at Morgana’s magic as he did so. He had felt her temper rising, and the last thing they needed was her burning their guest to charcoal in the square.
“As I’m sure you’ve heard, Merlin is Arthur’s servant, and as such, has no extra time to attend to you. But George and Ardan are two of Camelot’s best,” Morgana said, coming to stand a half step in front of Merlin. Her arm brushed against his as she passed, and he felt her magic just below the surface.
“I’m sure,” Lady Anaver drawled, looking back at Gwen, “But I do remember you saying that last time.”
Merlin felt Morgana surrender full control of her magic to him. Not able to stop it herself, but trusting him to keep her in check. It took all Merlin had not to react. This was the first time Morgana trusted him since coming back. The poisoning, betrayal, and general bad blood had always stood between them. But now Morgana had leapt that gap, throwing her trust at him, and he wasn’t going to let her down. His magic restrained her magic, but didn’t cut her off from it. Ancient and young as it was, his magic soothed hers, keeping it back without removing a piece of her.
“I assure you they are up to the task. George has worked as my servant on occasion, and Ardan served my mother for a time,” Arthur said.
Mellean and Anaver, while willing to push, also understood when retreat was the best course of action.
Polite conversation followed, and soon they were led away to their rooms. Merlin took a step forward to stand at Arthur’s side.
“Morgana’s willing to have a set back and set them on fire if you want her too,” he said, and saw Morgana smile with more teeth than usual.
“No. She’s worked hard to this point, I can handle them,” Arthur replied before sweeping back up the stairs.
Merlin was never sure if Arthur believed the lie about Morgana’s return or not. He had seen the same “defeat” of Drogon that had convinced everyone else, but sometimes, he looked at them like he knew they were lying. Any time Drogon was brought up, however, he alway made a quick escape, so they really couldn't have explained even if they tried.
“The offer still stands for you,” Morgana said to Gwen as they turned to follow Arthur back inside.
Merlin was stopped from following by Gwaine’s arm around his shoulders.
"That man was a right charmer, wasn't he?" Gwaine asked, keeping pace with Merlin so as to stay draped around him.
“Just glad Arthur didn’t hand me over. Would've hated to spend two weeks with them. Do you think George has enough bronze jokes saved up?”
Gwaine’s unrestrained laugh echoed off the walls as he and Merlin walked down the hallway.
"I think so. Maybe you can help him come up with more. And if Arthur had sent you into their clutches, they would have had a dashing knightly escort the whole time, too.”
“Oh? Was Percival planning to follow me around?”
Merlin took off running before Gwaine realized what he had said.
“Oi!” Gwaine called as Merlin turned the corner, a large smile on his face.
~M~
Merlin ducked into Morgana’s chamber, exhaling as he sealed the room, and let loose the choke hold he had on his magic. He let it manifest as a wind that whipped around the room as his eyes glowed like the sun itself had formed upon earth.
“Bad day?” Morgana asked as she braided Gwen’s hair with some fine ribbons.
“I'm tempted to give you full control of your magic, what does that tell you?”
Merlin flopped down across the bed beside them.
“You what? Morgana?” Gwen asked, concerned by the information that there was apparently a restriction on Morgana’s magic, but knowing that she didn’t understand magic the way the other two did.
“If I had full control the Lord Mellean and Lady Anaver would have been ash in the wind within five minutes of arriving.”
"They'd be easier to deal with." Merlin groaned, sliding over to lean against Gwen's shoulder.
"What's happening? Morgana and I have been here all day. Morgana is stricken with a headache and needs me to wait on her constantly," Gwen said, turning her head as Morgana tied off the braid and let Morgana press a kiss to her cheek.
"I do prefer when your attention is completely on me." Morgana replied, glancing at Merlin's hunched form, "But I do believe that the most powerful magic user of all time requires head scratches."
She got up from the bed to fetch her book as Gwen sank her fingers into Merlin's hair, scratching in small circles.
"They keep insulting Arthur." Merlin muttered, voice muffled by the fabric of Gwen's sleeve.
"Well no wonder you lost your temper. Perish the person that insults Arthur in your hearing," Morgana snarked, a smirk pulling at her lips.
"Morgana!" Gwen admonished, continuing to run her fingers through Merlin's hair.
Morgana sighed, closing her book and moving to sit on Gwen's other side.
"What are they doing?" she asked.
"They keep demanding my help, and 'Oh, of course Arthur wouldn't want to hand me over, even if I'm the only one properly trained. Things were much better in Uther's day, a higher standard,'" he mocked. "And they demanded a meeting at the same time as knight training, because 'Uther never trained with the men, and he never lost his edge.' They are undermining everything Arthur has done, as if it's a bad thing that the people don't fear him!"
Merlin looked to Morgana as he finished. The two of them had spent every breath under Uther's rule terrified of the man. That level of dread was something no leader should seek to inspire, at least not a good one.
“And then they…” And Merlin was off ranting against nobles dismissing Arthur or trying to force him into their version of a perfect King when Arthur should have the freedom to decide how he wished to rule. He spilled all his frustrations with nobles, people in the town, servants, how everyone seemed to expect Arthur to be like his father when Arthur could be so much more.
“Should I let him keep going or stop this now?” Morgana asked, looking at Gwen who was following Merlin’s pacing with a worried eye.
“Can you help him?” Gwen asked, as Merlin started talking so quickly that even she as having a hard time following her friends words.
“Can I help him? My Darling you underestimate me.” Morgana darted her hand out, catching Merlin in the middle of a turn, cupping the back of Merlin's neck, pulling him forward until their foreheads touched. Their eyes shone golden as magic swirling around them. Even Gwen could feel it.
Morgana forced one of her visions into Merlin's mind.
"Arthur will be better," she said, "We won't let him fail."
Those words played over a scene, Arthur and him walking through a festival. Merlin nearly didn't recognize himself. He stood tall, in fine clothes. Arthur's arm was thrown over his shoulders as he laughed. A child ran up, accidentally bumping into Arthur as he did, but his eyes flashed gold and he held up a flower in apology. Merlin took it, tucking it behind Arthur's ear. Arthur rolled his eyes, but allowed the gesture. The child ran off to his friends as colourful explosions that could only be magic rained from overhead.
"He'll do better. Better than Uther, better than upstart lords. And better than even our wildest dreams," Morgana continued.
The vision cleared, leaving Merlin gasping. He wanted it back. He wanted to see it again.
"I saw that a week after you brought me back." Morgana said, pulling back from Merlin. Gwen's fingers started to move again, sensing that Merlin's emotions were in upheaval even if she didn't know why. "I stayed because that is all I ever wanted for Camelot.”
She moved to the door, and said something softly to a passing guard.
Merlin was holding back tears, breath hitching with every inhale. He wanted it back, the image Morgana showed him. He wanted for it to be real and current, wanted it like a missing piece of himself. It was like a wound that had been slowly killing him, and he had only noticed now.
That openness, that freeness, he wanted it now . It may come to pass as Morgana had seen, but how long would he fear what would happen if his magic came to light, and how long would he be feared afterward, banished, shunned from Arthur’s side for the lies? He wanted the connection in the vision. And it was only when a larger hand replaced Gwen’s that he realized what Morgana had said at the door.
He turned to see Gwaine, summoned by Morgana’s word, kneeling in front of him.
“What’s wrong? What do you need me to do?” he asked, brushing the hair off Merlin's forehead, locking eyes with him.
"I think he's completed all his chores today, and I think he needs to rest. And to have someone keep an eye on him." Morgana explained.
Merlin didn't say anything, and Gwaine's eyes didn't part from his.
"Alright then, let's go."
He stood, pulling Merlin up with him, and kept Merlin partially hidden within his cloak as he hurried them toward his own room. It was only as they rounded the corner of the last hallway that they heard voices coming towards them.
"Well shit," Gwain said, and Merlin was too wrung out to try and find a solution. It wasn't like they could duck into any of the other knight's rooms.
He followed along as Gwaine pulled him into a very snug alcove, behind a tapestry.
The space was so small that they were flush against each other. Gwaine smirked down at him, no doubt some flirty remark on his lips before he truly saw Merlin's face. He reached up to wipe away the tears that Merlin thought he had managed to stop.
“What can I do to fix this?” he asked, ignoring the fact that they had heard footsteps just moments before. His voice was more serious than usual, and his eyes searched Merlin's.
Merlin shook his head, knowing that nothing Gwaine could say or do was going to help. Right now, he just needed to feel safe, so that he could lock away the longing in his chest.
“Just tell me what to do –” Gwaine was cut off by the sound of the tapestry being pulled aside, revealing Arthur on the other side.
Gwaine, knowing that Arthur was probably the last person Merlin would want to see him like this, moved his cape in front of Merlin. This was easy, considering they were entirely pressed together.
“Can I help you with something, Princess?”
“What’s happening here?” Arthur's eyes flicked from Gwaine to the figure behind him. That was when he realized it was Merlin, and saw the tear tracks on his face.
“What do you think is happening here?” Gwaine shot back, “Nothing to see here. We’ll be going now, somewhere more private.”
He gave Arthur a wink before pulling Merlin out of the alcove and down the hallway before Arthur could fully process what he'd said.
Gwaine led Merlin into his quarters, locking the door behind them, before leading Merlin to one of the cushions he had by the fire.
“Do I want to know who’s been on these lately?” Merlin quipped, his voice rough from the pressure he still felt in his throat.
“No one’s allowed on these but you and I, my other guests tend to enjoy the bearskin rug over there.”
Gwaine pointed over his shoulder. He removed his cape, draping it over Merlin's legs as he plopped down on the other cushion.
“Why did Morgana send for me?” he asked after a moment, watching Merlin’s fingers trail over the red fabric.
“I…” Merlin paused. What was he supposed to say? That Morgana had shown him a future where Magic was flourishing, open and free and he was still by Arthur’s side? That Morgana had shown him a glimpse of a happy future, and he just wanted to curl up and live in that moment forever? That he was terrified of making a mistake that would shatter their destiny, terrified that perhaps Arthur would forever hate him and magic, and that fear left him choking at times.
He couldn’t confess any of that to Gwaine. So he shoved it down with every other secret, forming a weight in his soul that pulled his shoulders lower each day.
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” The lie tasted bitter on his tongue. He didn’t like lying to his friends, but he was getting pretty experienced with it.
“It’s not.” Gwaine reached out and grabbed one of Merlin’s hands, threading their fingers together, before pulling him close so that Merlin now lay sprawled across his lap.
Gwaine cherished this casual closeness. It was far more intimate than anything that happened on the bear skin.
“Your feelings aren’t nothing. Now by my judgment, it can only be one of two things. Either Lord and Lady Fussy Breeches –" Merlin let out a wet laugh at that "– did something that’ll make me commit treason, in which case I win three gold – Leon thought that they’d behave until the last day of their visit – or…” his voice dropped, “Is this about your magic?'
He felt every muscle in Merlin’s body tense as their eyes locked. Merlin looked like he was about to bolt, so Gwaine tightened his grip on the hands that were still intertwined with his.
“I’ve known since I met you. Those plates weren’t subtle.”
He gave Merlin a soft smile, leaning down to touch their foreheads together.
“You’re safe with me, Merlin. I’d sooner cut off my own arm than turn against you.”
The truth was that Merlin was the reason he pledged loyalty to Camelot, not Arthur. He would abandon Camelot, forsake his knighthood, if Merlin asked him to. There were days when Merlin's smile brought him more peace and warmth than seeing the sun.
“Let me help,” he begged, not lifting his head. It was so similar to what Morgana had done when she shared her vision, and Merlin was still so raw. So he told Gwaine everything. The words just spilled out of him, revealing things that not another soul knew, things that he had pushed down, things that he'd tried to forget.
Gwaine listened, a steady source of heat, and a strong grip on his hand. He collected all of Merlin’s secrets, looked at Merlin’s soul laid bare, and gathered the Warlock up into his arms.
“You have me.” He whispered into Merlin's hair, and felt Merlin’s fists tighten in the fabric at his back. “From now on you have me. You’re not alone anymore, you won’t be alone again.”
Gwaine remembered his mother telling him stories of ancestors past. He couldn’t remember if they were from her side or that of his father, but she told him stories of brave men that served under those who commanded Dragons. She'd said that his blood was sworn to protect those that sought peace, and especially to those with fire in their eyes and a dragon’s tongue in their mouth. As he grew older, she had told him that that was the reason the King had refused them. With Uther’s magical ban sweeping throughout the other kingdom, Caerleon wasn’t willing to risk supporting them when they didn’t truly serve him.
Gwaine had hated those rumoured forebearers, hated that his blood was what had caused Caerleon to forsake them. But soon after, he realized that they were stories, tales his mother made up to sooth children in a too-cold house, with stomachs that were too empty. It was Caerleon’s fault, him and all the nobles and highborns like him, those who looked upon suffering and struggle and turned away. Those mythical men in stories weren’t real, just something to dream of. Dreams full of dragons and heroes and adventure were all his mother could provide for her children.
But Merlin’s secrets had included a title: Dragonlord. And his mother’s words came to him clearly.
“They can command great power, Gwaine, and they trusted our family to watch their backs, and protect their homes. They have all this power at their fingertips and still trust us with the things they can’t wield.” He felt the phantom memory of her fingers pushing his bangs off his forehead, “You’ll see. One day, you’ll find them again, and your name and theirs will ring together.”
Then, she had given him a soft smile and blown out the candle. Gwaine had watched that wick ,still glow in the dark, and imagined a pair of eyes.
This was what his mother had meant. The stories that weren’t stories. Had his ancestors felt this same connection, like Merlin and him were bound, not through duty or obligation, but because they each needed the other to do the things they could not? He decided he didn’t mind that the stories were true.
It brought a smile to his face. He was meant to stand by Merlin for the rest of his life, and it was a duty he would shoulder gladly. He would tell Merlin later, swear fealty, or whatever it was he needed to do. But for now, he held Merlin and let the tension drain from him.
That night, Merlin felt safe for the first time in Camelot.
~M~
Gwaine wasn’t following Merlin around, but he did happen to pop up wherever Lord Mellean and Lady Anaver were, snacking on an apple and leaning against walls, eyes locked on them. Whenever their comments were particularly offensive, he pulled out his sword to polish, not breaking eye contact. It didn’t stop them, not entirely, but it did make the servants smile.
Merlin was in better spirits, too. Gwaine didn't have to do anything. Just knowing that someone else knew of his past, someone whose live didn’t depend on the secret like Morgana, who knew of what he had done and still stood beside him, meant everything. He started to relax more around Gwaine, and Gwaine’s smile had brightened considerably when he noticed.
It was the last day of the Lord Mellean and Lady Anaver's visit. The entire castle staff was itching to have them gone. It was just one more feast, and then standing on the steps tomorrow morning, and then they could hope that Lord Mellean would die so the next visit would be performed by his son, who was rumoured to be far kinder.
Merlin was standing behind Arthur, holding his personal jug of wine. Arthur had noticed Gwaine and Merlin glancing at each other quite a lot tonight. He was unsure about this new closeness between the two, and as such, had placed Gwaine across for Lord Mellean at the table as punishment.
It had happened faster then Arthur could comprehend. Even though Merlin was Arthur's personal servant, and held his pitcher, he was to serve anyone at the King’s table. Gwaine was taking great pleasure in drinking all of Arthur’s fine wine. Lord Mellean had just beckoned Merlin over, and as Merlin poured the wine, Gwaine said something that made Merlin chuckle. It could hardly be heard over the noise of the hall, but the motion of his shoulders shaking caused two drops of wine to spill along the outside of Lord Mellean's goblet.
Mellean bristled at the few drops of offending red liquid before back handing Merlin for the slight.
Merlin stumbled backward, the jug of wine falling from his fingers and spilling liquid across the floor as his hand came up to cup his cheek
Lady Anaver cried that the spreading crimson puddle of wine was staining her dress, and Mellean pushed his chair back, taking a single charging step toward Merlin before Gwaine reacted.
His grip was loose on his sword as he swung it in between Merlin and the charging lord. The blade snipped through the threads holding the buttons of Mellean's tunic, and they clattered and bounced off the floor. It was the only sound in the hall.
Several other knights had their hands on weapons, but none had committed what could be considered an attack against Arthur's guest.
Gwaine walked around the table slowly. Swinging his sword loosely as he moved. No one spoke. He stopped, standing in between Mellean and Merlin.
"I'd reconsider," he said, looking at the lord with more malice than any had thought him capable of, "He's under my protection."
"And just who are you to –"
"Lord Orkney, " Gwaine replied, "My father was Lord Gwalchmei Orkney, and though we don't have quite the land that you do, I still hold that title, and he is under my protection." Gwaine brought his sword to rest under the lord's chin. "Do you really want to test my conviction?"
Gwaine had just revealed his greatest secret, all to protect Merlin.
“He is mine, and any that stand against him stand against me,” he said to the silence of the court. Gwen’s hand was on Morgana’s shoulder, seeming to keep her from attacking Mellean herself. Morgana was screaming for her magic back, wanting to unleash it in his defense, but Merlin knew better than to release it.
As Gwaine stood, back straight, strength and fury pouring off of him, the people at the feast would remember. Gwaine was Merlin's, regardless of who the knight slept with. Merlin and he had a bond that none of the others could match. And they pitied the fool that had decided to test that.