Chapter Text
The most handsome man Vash has ever seen is in the waiting room of his physical therapist’s office. The man is wearing all black, which stands out beautifully against his dark skin, and has the scruff of someone in desperate need of a shave. Vash thinks it looks charming. He sits awkwardly in his wheelchair—definitely new, Vash thinks, because otherwise there’d be a sticker for a rock band or something on it—which Vash assumes is part of the reason he’s going to a physical therapist in the first place.
“So,” Vash says, sitting down in a chair next to him. “What are you in for?”
The man raises an eyebrow and snorts at Vash’s admittedly terrible joke.
“I was in a fucking coma,” he says.
“Medically induced, or due to some kind of body failure?” Vash asks. The man frowns.
“I don’t—I mean, my heart stopped,” he says. “I don’t think they had to knock me out.”
“It sounds like you lead a very interesting life,” Vash tells him. The man laughs. “Want to guess what’s wrong with me?”
Immediately, the man’s eyes gravitate to Vash’s crutches, then up towards his prosthetic arm. Vash grins. Good, he’s taken the bait. That makes everything so much funnier.
“I,” Vash says, grin growing larger. “Was bitten by a very venomous snake and all the muscles in my leg atrophied.”
The man stares at Vash for a moment, then bursts out laughing.
“Vash Saverem,” Vash says, holding out a hand.
“Nicholas D. Wolfwood.”
Wolfwood, Vash can see, fucking hates physical therapy. He swears at Jessica, his therapist, as she makes him do his exercises. The woman bares it all with the patience of a saint and an amused smile. Vash can see it all play out while Brad makes him do his own stretches on the other side of the room.
“Pay attention to your own recovery,” Brad scolds him.
“I can multitask!” Vash protests.
“Knowing your luck, you’ll end up falling on your face the moment my back’s turned.” Brad scoffs. Vash whines, but can’t deny that the man isn’t, like, completely wrong. Vash has always had bad balance, anyway, which makes recoveries like this so much more annoying.
Their sessions end around the same time. Vash catches Wolfwood frowning at his phone as Vash makes his way to the door.
“Need a ride?” Vash asks.
“My brother was supposed to come get me,” Wolfwood says, still frowning. “Our sister texted me. They’re both still at home. He’s just going to be a bit late.”
“One of my girlfriends should be coming to get me soon,” Vash tells him. “We could drop you off at a McDonald’s or something?”
Wolfwood hesitates.
“I understand if you don’t want to get into a car with a stranger,” Vash says. “But everyone here knows me. I’m trustworthy, aren’t I, Jessica?”
“I’d trust you with my life,” Jessica agrees. “But I think if I asked you to watch my house for me, I’d come back to it on fire.”
Brad laughs. Vash pouts.
“It’s not my fault I’m so unlucky!” he protests. “I don’t get into trouble on purpose, you know that!”
“This guy,” Brad tells Wolfwood, gesturing at Vash. “Has already gotten three different sessions of PT in the past three years. Never met a more accident-prone scientist in my life.”
“You’re a scientist?” Wolfwood asks.
“Biologist.” Vash nods. “I study plants. And not even that many really dangerous ones. Things could have been so much worse!”
“You’re insane.” Wolfwood shakes his head. “Fine, take me to McDonald’s. At least if I disappear tomorrow, they know where to look for my body.”
“That’s the spirit!” Vash doesn’t let Wolfwood’s morbid sense of humor bother him. He holds open the door. “After you.”
Meryl’s already in the parking lot listening to music on her phone. Vash taps the window.
“Hellooooo, insurance girl,” Vash says. “Do you think you could give a ride to a very handsome man?”
Meryl pulls out an earbud and raises an eyebrow.
“Are you talking about yourself again?” she asks. Wordlessly, Vash gestures to Wolfwood, who raises a hand in greeting.
“My ride’s just going to be a bit late,” he says. “If the two of you could just drop me off at the McDonald’s down the street, I’ll be fine waiting there.”
Meryl glances between Vash and Wolfwood, eyebrow still raised.
“Sure.” She shrugs. “I’ve actually been craving fries, so that works out perfectly. You want anything, Vash?”
“Chicken nuggets.” Vash helps Wolfwood into the backseat and folds up his wheelchair, putting it in after him. “Oh, what toys do you think they’re giving away in the happy meals?”
“Happy meals?” Wolfwood laughs. “How old are you?”
“You’re never too old to appreciate getting a prize with your meal,” Vash replies, gasping in mock-offense. Wolfwood shakes his head.
“So how’d a nice girl like you meet up with a lunatic like him?” Wolfwood asks. “He called you an insurance agent, right?”
“Oh, that’s more of an inside joke than anything.” Meryl laughs. “I’m a reporter. Me and my girlfriend ended up interviewing him for a documentary. Then he ended up worming his way into our relationship.”
“And your hearts,” Vash adds. Meryl snorts.
“And our hearts,” she agrees. “We’ve been together for two years.”
“Congratulations,” Wolfwood says.
“What about you?” Meryl asks. “What do you do for a living?”
“Oh, I…” Wolfwood tenses up. “My job used to involve a lot of physical labor, but…”
“I’m guessing a coma doesn’t make it easy to find a new calling,” Vash sympathizes. “Not really a fun thing to bring up when they ask you about the gaps in your resume.”
Wolfwood lets out a shaky laugh.
“Have to find something I’m qualified for first,” he says.
“I’m sure you have plenty of people who are already bugging you about it, so I won’t be one of them,” Vash tells him. “But I know of some good support for vocational training if you need it.”
Wolfwood chews his lip, but doesn’t say anything, so Vash changes topics.
“Are you living with your siblings?” Vash asks. “You said something about them being at home. I can’t imagine living with my brother again. How do you manage?”
“You’ve got siblings?”
“A twin,” Vash says. “Plus a few girls who like to joke we’re related since we both got adopted through the same agency and we’re all scientists.”
“An orphan, too, huh?” Wolfwood grins at that. “Me too. Livio, Jasmine and I aren’t biologically related, but we all grew up at the same orphanage for some time, so Jazzy’s letting us crash at her place. Pretty tight budget on a kindergarten teacher’s salary, but easier now that Livio’s working and we’ve managed on less before.”
He seems pretty proud of this fact, which is kind of fucked up, but Vash smiles anyway.
“Kindergarten, huh?” Meryl says. “That’s a tough job. I barely know what to do when I’m around one of Milly’s cousins for a few minutes. I can’t imagine being left in charge of a kid that young all day.”
“You’re great with kids,” Vash scoffs. “You need to stop comparing yourself to Milly and I. We’ve just had more practice.”
“Oh, yeah?” Wolfwood says. “You spend some time working as a science teacher or something? I can see that. Kids would probably get a kick out of you and your goofy grin.”
Meryl laughs and pulls into a parking space.
“Oh, nothing like that,” Vash says. “I mostly spend my time in labs or gathering samples. But I do talks at schools and stuff when I’m asked. It’s always important to get kids to appreciate the natural world, you know? Get them interested in asking questions.”
“And what got you interested?” Wolfwood asks. Vash laughs.
“Oh man, who knows?” they say. “I mean, being adopted, being a twin, being intersex… There’s a lot of variables to me people always try to make sense of. Plus, my mom is an engineer at a space station, so I’ve always been surrounded by people who really like questioning the world. Plus, I was the kind of kid who cried about poison ivy, because I thought it was really sad that everyone avoided it because they were worried about getting a rash.”
“You did that last week while you were high, too,” Meryl reminds Vash. Vash shrugs.
“I guess I just have a lot of feelings about plants,” he says.
“No kidding.” Wolfwood snorts and wheels himself into the McDonald’s.
“What do you want?” Meryl asks. “I’ll pay. You two find us a seat.”
Wolfwood stiffens.
“You don’t have to pay for me,” he says.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not doing this for you,” Meryl says. “I just hate it when I have to wait for someone else to order. Vash won’t eat until we all get our food and there’s only about a five minute window until his chicken nuggets start tasting like shit. I don’t want them complaining to me about it the entire ride home.”
Wolfwood snorts.
“Well, if it’s that important to you.” he glances at a sign showcasing the toys for happy meals available. “I guess I’ll get a kid’s meal too. Tell them to give me one of the birds.”
“Aren’t you a little old for a kid’s meal, Mr. Wolfwood?” Vash teases. Wolfwood punches them in the hip.
“My brother’s getting into birding,” he says. “I’m getting it for him. He’ll get a kick out of it.”
“Let me guess,” Meryl says. “You’re the older one.”
“How could you tell?”
“You have the same look in your eye as a proud dad.”
Wolfwood laughs at this and rolls away with Vash to go sit down.
“So, what are your siblings like?” Vash asks.
“Way sweeter than me,” Wolfwood says. “Good kids, the both of them. Livio’s got kind of a scary face sometimes, but he’s one of the sweetest guys I know. He, uh, lost his hearing in one ear, same time I entered my coma. Jasmine's actually the one who drove us to the hospital. Hadn’t seen us in years, but she still kept a calm head in one of the worst situations. I’m glad to see her again. She was always kind of a wild kid, but I didn’t realize she was made of such strong stuff.”
“She sounds like a pretty great sister.” Vash smiles.
“She’s been learning sign language with Livio while I was out,” Wolfwood adds. “They’ve been teaching me a bit, but I can’t make all the signs. Damn brats are using it to talk about me behind my back.”
Vash laughs.
“That’s siblings for you,” he says.
“What about you?” Wolfwood asks as Meryl comes to their table with their food. “Oh, thank you. But, uh, you mentioned you had a twin. What’s he like?”
“Nai is…” Vash winces. “Complicated.”
“It’s like that, huh?” Wolfwood hums in understanding.
“I promise you you’ve never met anyone like his brother before,” Meryl says. “That kind of bad attitude is one of a kind.”
“We were really close as kids!” Vash protests. “It’s just… he got disillusioned with the world really fast and it made him pretty bitter. For a while, I thought he was growing out of it and trying to make the world better, but then he went and stole my research.”
“Really?” Wolfwood says. “How’d he get his hands on that?”
“Stole my ID badge.” Vash frowns. It’s actually a little pathetic how easy it had been. “Apparently, no one had been expecting me to have an identical twin. It’s fine, though, we haven’t talked since.”
Wolfwood’s face does something strange.
“So you never got any of that work back?” he asks. Vash shakes their head.
“Most of it was still backed up on the computers,” he says. “The real loss was all the plants he took with him. I’d been in the middle of doing a few different tests, and suddenly I didn’t have the materials I needed for more. The compound I was trying to create ended up being too volatile to really use, though, so I guess there’s a chance I wouldn’t have used them anyway.”
“Guess what his brother worked as before he was stealing lab equipment,” Meryl demands. Wolfwood thinks for a moment.
“Evil scientist.”
“Social worker.”
Wolfwood raises his eyebrows, like he thinks they’re pulling his leg, but they very much are not.
“He saw the way kids were being treated in the system and he wanted to make it better.” Vash shrugs. “It was either that or become a lawyer, and I don’t think he really had the patience for court battles.”
“But he had the patience to deal with kids?” Wolfwood asks, amused.
“Kids would never act stupid enough where he’d feel the need to swear at them,” Vash says. “That’s the reason he gave me, anyway.”
“Your brother sounds like a strange guy,” Wolfwood says.
“I come from a strange family.” Vash shrugs again and steals one of Meryl’s fries. Meryl smacks his hand.
“I bought you your own food,” she complains. “Why are you taking mine?”
“But it tastes better when it’s coming from you,” Vash whines. Meryl rolls her eyes. Wolfwood grins at the two of them as Meryl retaliates by stealing one of Vash’s nuggets, making him burst into a fake sob.
“I can’t believe it!” Vash gasps. “I’ve been robbed! By my own girlfriend! My own, beautiful girlfriend!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, how could I ever make it up to you?” Meryl asks. Her tone is flat, like she’s had enough of his shit, but she’s still smiling. Vash pretends to think for a moment.
“You could give me a kiss?” they suggest. Meryl shakes her head and kisses him on the cheek.
“You sap,” she says. She turns to Wolfwood. “You see what I have to put up with? You better watch out, or you might get roped in on it, too.”
“I think activities like that are usually reserved for pretty women such as yourself, little lady,” Wolfwood says.
“Well.” Meryl takes a sip of her soda and winks at him. “You never know.”
Vash elbows her in the side.
“Don’t scare him off!” he exclaims. “We just met! We have to let him get used to us before we can go full-weirdo.”
“This isn’t full-weirdo for you?” Wolfwood asks with a laugh.
“Oh, if this is all you can take, you better run away now,” Meryl says. “This man talks to his plants.”
“That’s not weird!” Vash protests. “A lot of people do that!”
“Not the way you do.”
As the two of them bicker, a woman with black hair enters the restaurant, arms locked with a tall man with white hair in a ponytail. His skin is tan, just a few shades lighter than Wolfwood’s, and he has a tattoo over one eye. His gaze is cloudy, like he’s not quite sure where he is, which Vash assumes is related to whatever came up that made it so he couldn’t drive Wolfwood home on his own.
The woman seems anxious, but all her tension melts away the moment she sees Wolfwood.
“Nico!” she calls. “Sorry we’re late!”
Wolfwood turns to face her and grins.
“Hey, Jasmine,” he says. “You’re just in time. Want to finish off my fries?”
“I’ll pass,” she says. She looks at Vash and Meryl. “Thanks for keeping Nico company. We’re usually much better about keeping schedules, I promise.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Vash says. “I know how it goes. I’ve gotten a lot of physical therapy in the past. So if you guys ever need any kind of help, feel free to come bother me. My name’s Vash.”
“Wait.” Jasmine gasps. “Are you the Vash who did that nature walk with our third graders? I work in Octovern Elementary. All of my coworkers said the kids had a great time.”
“That sounds like me!” Vash grins. “Do you want me to come back? I’ve been doing a bit less work lately since I got injured. I have plenty of time to do a school assembly.”
“Ohhh, that sounds really great.” Jasmine frowns. “I’d have to ask my boss about it though. I’m not sure what I’d have to do to get that approved.”
“I understand.” Vash digs a business card out of his pocket. “Just call me when you figure it out.”
The more they talk, the more clear Livio’s gaze becomes, and the more it focuses on Vash. Vash tries to ignore it, but the look in his eyes is unmistakably anger. Vash is certain they’d remember someone as big as Livio, which means it must be a case of mistaken identity, but that doesn’t make it any more comfortable to sit through.
Luckily, Wolfwood notices it, too. He digs through his happy meal and pulls out a small blue stuffed bird.
“Hey, Livi,” Wolfwood says. “Got this for you.”
Livio blinks and grabs the bird gently, like a child with a new toy.
“Thomas,” he says softly. Wolfwood glances at Vash, but Vash is the last person who would judge someone for dissociating in a fast food restaurant. He’s been there before. Livio is actually handling it really well, all things considered.
“Why don’t you help Nico get to the car?” Jasmine says. Livio gives a slow and jerky nod and grabs the handles of Wolfwood’s wheelchair.
“See you around, spikey,” Wolfwood says. “Thanks for the food.”
Vash holds up a hand in acknowledgement, watching as they all go.
“Wow,” Mery says. “You’re in love with him.”
“I’m not.” Vash scoffs. “I just think he’d be fun to tease a bit, that’s all.”
“Sure.” Meryl takes a sip of her soda, amused. “Let me know if we’re getting a new boyfriend.”
“Who says I’m going to share him?”
To Vash’s delight, Wolfwood is there the next time he has physical therapy, too. Wolfwood grins when he sees Vash, and sticks out a finger toward the man.
“I knew I’d heard the name Saverem before!” he says. “Didn’t you cause an international incident in France a few years back?”
“I didn’t think they’d arrest me since I’m not a citizen,” Vash confesses. In his defense, nothing he’d done wasn’t anything the protestors they’d been hanging out with had an issue with. Vash had just assumed he had the least to lose, and allowed himself to do some of the more public parts of the protest.
“You’re insane,” Wolfwood says fondly.
“I’m sure you’ve done a few wild things in your life, too, Mr. Coma,” Vash shoots back. Wolfwood laughs.
“Oh, no, I’m not falling for that,” he says. “If the hospital couldn’t get me to tell them what drugs were in my system, you sure as hell don’t get to know either.”
“Oh, is that how it happened?” Vash says. “Maybe next time, just try weed instead. I’m not sure if you know this, but it’s legal now. I know a great place to get edibles.”
“Yeah, I remember, I wasn’t in a coma for that long.” Wolfwood snorts. “But thanks for the tip. Guess you’re really a fan of all plants, huh?”
Vash has heard that joke before but laughs anyway as Brad walks into the room.
“Guess that’s my cue,” Vash says. “Good luck getting your legs working again.”
“You too,” Wolfwood snorts.
Today, it’s Domina that picks him up and not Meryl.
“Who’s that?” Wolfwood asks as he sees Vash walking towards her car. “Another girlfriend?”
“Oh, no.” Domina shakes her head as she climbs out of her car. “Vash is like a brother to me. I’m a herpetologist! Vash had a really interesting reaction to the venom in the snake bite he got, so I’m here to drive him to the lab so I can study his blood!”
“It’s really lucky how much my system could flush out the poison on its own,” Vash agrees. “We had antivenom, but no adrenaline or histamines, and I don’t think my snake venom allergy would have let me survive if I actually took the antivenom before we got to the hospital!”
Wolfwood stares at Vash, mouth open, then turns to Domina.
“I hope you find out what’s wrong with him,” he says.
“Oh, that is well above my paygrade!” Domina laughs.
“This is Domina,” Vash says. “She’s one of the scientists I was talking about—the one who was adopted from the same place as me? Thanks for the vote of confidence, sis.”
“I have a lot of respect for Vash as a scientist and a person,” Domina says. “He’s one of the most caring guys I’ve ever met.”
“See, thank you!” Vash says. “That’s more like it.”
“... But I’ve never met anyone in my life who gets into the kind of trouble he can.”
Wolfwood laughs.
“All these people I’m meeting are painting a real interesting picture of you, blondie,” Wolfwood tells him.
“At least now, we don’t have to go through the whole awkward ‘tell me about yourself’ questions,” Vash says helpfully. “You just have to call out the window and ask, ‘Hey, what are your opinions on Vash Saverem?’ and someone’s bound to answer.”
Wolfwood laughs again.
“Must be nice being so famous,” he says.
“I’m not a big fan of being the center of attention,” Vash admits. He grazes Wolfwood’s arm with his flesh hand. “Not unless the person with their eyes on me happens to be cute… Maybe with black hair and nice sunglasses.”
“Vash,” Domina says.
“Right.” Vash flashes Wolfwood a look of apology. “Sorry. I have to go get my blood stolen now. See you next week?”
Wolfwood’s look of surprise from Vash’s touch melts into a fond smile.
“Yeah,” Wolfwood says. “Looking forward to it.”
They start to build a routine. Vash jokes about Brad’s crush on Jessica, and Wolfwood commiserates with him on how annoying it is to build up muscle tone and that they should be definitely getting rewards for dealing with this shit instead of more medical bills. Vash meets Livio again, this time while the man’s much more present—he apologizes for acting strange when they first met, but Vash reassures him by saying they’re equally terrible at first impressions. To Vash’s surprise, he also calls Wolfwood by his last name, claiming he’s more of a Wolfwood than a Nicholas, which Vash doesn’t disagree with. Milly ends up picking Vash up a few times, too, and introduces herself to Wolfwood, immediately commenting on how cute he is, flustering both him and Vash.
He’s really starting to like Wolfwood. He’s a charming guy when he wants to be, but has no problem getting in Vash’s personal space to tease them. And he really cares about his family—though try as he might, Vash can’t get the man to talk about how they all ended up living together. Vash thinks he has an idea of why that may be, but doesn’t want to voice it without confirmation. Wolfwood is cute, and he likes looking at Vash as much as Vash likes looking at him. At least for now, that’s as complicated as it needs to be.
“Looks like we’ve been abandoned,” Vash jokes one afternoon when they walk out of the building and there’s no familiar cars in the parking lot. “Want to get coffee and see how long it takes for our loved ones to remember us?”
Wolfwood doesn’t laugh at the joke. He pulls out his phone with a deep frown on his face.
“I have to get back to my brother,” he says. Vash frowns.
“Will… something bad happen if you don’t?” he asks. Wolfwood doesn’t respond, but flinches as he attempts to send a text. “Oh. Okay then. Can we get coffee some other time?”
Wolfwood turns to look at Vash and squints.
“I don’t get you,” he says. “You’ve got two pretty girls hanging around you, and you still keep trying to flirt with me.”
“Those pretty girls keep trying to flirt with you, too,” Vash points out. More Milly than Meryl, though.
“And I don’t get that either,” Wolfwood says, frustrated. “What can I give they can’t?”
“Can’t I just like you for your personality?” Vash asks.
“It’s not a great one.” Wolfwood snorts. “And it’s not like I’ve got that much else going for me.”
Something clicks in Vash’s head.
“You know, I don’t have an arm,” he says.
“Yeah.” Wolfwood raises an eyebrow. “I noticed.”
“I’m just saying, there’s a lot of stuff I can’t do.” Vash shrugs. “It sucks driving one-handed. I don’t have my license. I make my girlfriends open jars for me. But you’re still healing. I hear Jessica say how well you’re doing. So if it’s just a matter of who can do what for who, you’ll probably end up being able to do way more than me.”
“You don’t know that,” Wolfwood says.
“Maybe not,” Vash agrees. “But you don’t know you won’t, either.”
Wolfwood doesn’t say anything.
“Look, it doesn’t have to mean anything,” Vash says. “I travel a lot for my job. I just want to make sure I get in all my flirting before you get sick of me.”
“You sure you won’t get sick of me first?” Wolfwood asks.
“Only one way to find out.” Vash raises his phone. “Can I have your number?”
Wolfwood stares at him for a moment, then laughs.
“Sure,” he says, taking the phone. “But just to warn you, I can get pretty fucking annoying.”
“Well, hey,” Vash says. “So can I.”