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She'd fucking slept over.
Staying the night was never the plan, Keeley had made that very clear to herself. When Jack's hands had trailed up her chest and tugged at her jacket, she promised herself that she'd stay at second base. When Jack's lips had begun to trail down her jawline and neck, she promised herself that she'd stay in the safety of her office. When Jack had carefully and quietly asked if Keeley would come to her apartment, her whispered tones detailing the implications of her request, she promised herself that she wouldn't stay over.
And now here she was. Lying naked in her boss' bed.
Once her eyes adjusted to the light filtering through the curtains, she sat up slowly, drinking it all in. Jack's body lay next to her. She looked small in the dips and rises of the duvet, her dark hair shaping her petit face. A strand fell over her eye and Keeley raised her hand to brush it away.
What the fuck are you doing?
The thought hit her fast. She was being a fucking idiot. What, did she think she could just stay here until Jack woke up? Would they eat breakfast together? Turn up at work together? This was a one night fling, and she had to get out of here before she lost her job.
Not that her job was particularly safe at the minute.
She crept out of the bed, stepping through her tights and skirt, pulling her arms through her top. The sunlit rays continued to hit her eyes and a check to the clock on Jack's side table told her it was past seven thirty. Shit. She'd never get to the office in time, and besides, she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
Richmond, however, was only a few minutes away.
Keeley slipped on her shoes, leaning on the doorframe for balance, and snuck one more glance at Jack. She practically hadn't moved an inch since Keeley had woken up, but the duvet had been pulled away from her waist up when she got out of bed. Keeley bit her lip, sighing as she replaced it over the sleeping figure.
She stepped onto the street and deliberated how to get to Richmond. She could take a cab?
She really didn't want to talk to anyone right now.
Guess I'm walking.
~~~~~~~~~~
The walk was, at least, partially calming. She was able to go through the moments of the night and pinpoint all the ways she had been an obtuse moron.
She had lit candles. Why had she lit candles?! The lights were perfectly functional, weren't they?!
She drank enough to get drunk. Really, Keeley prided herself on being responsible with shit like that.
She had kissed Jack first. What kind of an idiot kisses her boss without knowing she's queer?
She had agreed to going to Jack's apartment. Why on earth had she thought that was a good idea?
She had said yes when Jack asked for consent. If she had said no, she would have been able to leave and all of this wouldn't have followed.
She had fallen asleep. She had fucking. Fallen. Asleep.
"Keeley?"
Keeley turned around, hand outstretched to open the doors to Richmond, to see Rebecca watching her. One hand held her phone, another her bag, and her face held confusion.
"What are you doing here? Not that I'm upset, it's a lovely surprise." She said, pushing at the doors and gesturing for Keeley to enter.
"Christ, Rebecca, I'm sorry, I just needed to- um, clear my head I guess."
"Oh, yes, of course, let's head up. By the way, where were you yesterday?"
Keeley felt a jolt of panic flick through her. Had she forgotten to tell Rebecca about the lamb? No, she had definitely sent the text. "The match? I-I had to deal with a situation at the office, didn't I tell-"
"Oh, no, sorry, not the match," Rebecca said, "I was just phoning you and you didn't respond. I got a bit worried."
"Shit, Rebecca, I'm sorry, I just-"
"Rebecca?" Leslie appeared, as if out of nowhere, his signature nervous grin plastered on his face, "Uh, there's a few reporters outside asking about Zava...?"
Rebecca groaned, "Of course there are. I'm so sorry, Keeley, I'll meet you in my office?"
"Oh, yeah, no worried babes!" Keeley said. Rebecca smiled in thanks and allowed herself to be dragged away.
Keeley tapped her foot, trying to avoid the Jack-centric thoughts creeping into her mind. She wanted to talk about it with Rebecca, but those reporters would probably take a while. She decided to grab a coffee and sit in the stands of the pitch, at least to clear her mind for a few minutes.
Coffee in hand, she sat cross-legged on the sidelines of the pitch, her back to the stands. Here, she finally allowed herself to look at the situation...vaguely logically.
Did she like Jack? Yes, very much so. She'd liked Jack from the moment they'd met - both the official moment and the unofficial moment. She'd liked her voice, her shoes, her laughter, her lack of shying away from bodily functions such as periods. She'd liked her hair, her eyes, her smile, the way she commanded the room despite being the smallest there. Jack was incredible, and that was only cemented the more time Keeley spent with her.
Was Keeley aware of her attraction to Jack prior to the first kiss? The answer wasn't so certain. Keeley had been desperate to impress Jack, asking her to the game, sacking Shandy - although that was coming anyway -, lighting those stupid candles. But was that simple her needing to impress her boss? Or her wanting to impress a new friend?
And did Jack feel the same way?
It was these such thoughts that Keeley was very rudely pulled out of by a figure walking out of the tunnel and entering the field. He half-walked, half-jogged a few meters into the pitch before simply...standing there, his hands fiddling aimlessly with each other. His shirt clearly labelled him as Colin.
She watched for a few moments. Colin seemed...off. To be honest, Keeley had only ever seen him around Jamie or Isaac, and Colin on his own was different. He was quiet. He was small.
And right now, he didn't look to happy.
"Colin?" Keeley eventually called, "Are you alright?"
Colin jumped, noticing Keeley for the first time. His hands flew away from each other, as though fiddling was a capital crime, and he flicked a strand of hair away from his eye.
"Oh, uh, Keeley!" He stammered, "Hi!"
Keeley cocked her head, repeating her question, "Are you alright?"
"Yep," Colin said, his cheery voice an almost insultingly bad effort, "Not bad, no. Uh, little bit off. No, I'm...I'm not great."
Keeley frowned. He didn't look alright, to be fair. His eyes darted around the pitch, not meeting Keeley's. "Alright. Sit. I've got nothing but time."
Colin stalled for just a second before joining her on the grass. She noted he kept his knees together, not sitting in the man-spreading manner she'd seen literally every sportsman sit ever. Including Colin himself.
"You don't have to tell me what's wrong," Keeley started, "But I've seen you around a bit and you never look like this. Something is bothering you. Just know I can tell."
Colin scoffed, "You'd be the only one."
"Huh?" Keeley turned to face Colin, but he continued to face forward.
"It..." He looked like he hadn't expected to say what he said, "There's...stuff, going on, and Isaac and Jamie and Ted and Roy...no one notices. Which kinda sucks."
"Aw, Colin," Keeley said, "Men are pricks. This is why you need women friends. Like me!"
Colin scoffed but said nothing, only stared into the distance.
Keeley didn't know what it was. It might have been the quiet, tranquility of the pitch. It might have been the fact that Colin was acting so different, and Keeley's gaydar always seemed to ring around him. It might have been the fact that Keeley needed someone to talk to. But she felt like saying something about her own predicament with help Colin. And maybe helping Colin would help her.
"Alright, well, whatever's up, no one's perfect. I mean, look at me!" Colin actually turned and looked at her here, which was sweet, "I got a fancy new job, one I love, and l decided to waste it all by sleeping with my boss last night. Aaaand now I'm here. At Richmond. Avoiding work."
Colin widened his eyes, "I...can't decide if that's incredibly on- or off-brand for you. Have you talked to him since?"
Keeley rubbed her neck. Did she think Colin was gay? Yes, some form of queer, most certainly. Was she still a tiny bit concerned about how he would react to the next few statements? Yes, probably.
"No, I left her house before she woke up."
Colin bit his lip. Then he frowned. Then he looked back at Keeley, who shot finger guns at him, "Bosses can be women, Colin. You sexist."
Colin blanched, "God, no, I- it- you-"
Keeley cackled, shoving him, "I'm kidding! Most people are surprised when I tell them I'm bi. I dunno, it's like being a queer woman and being feminine can't work together, it's ridiculous."
Colin rubbed his arm, "Or being queer and masculine, if you're a guy."
Keeley allowed her grin to slide into a small smile, one of reassurance. Obviously, she was immediately aware of the path Colin was trying to talk himself down. And so, she waited, silently, until Colin began to speak again.
"Honestly, sometimes it's fucking shit, being a football player," he said, "Everything you do is scrutinized. And everyone expects so much of you. And...most people can get to the bar that's set."
"Isaac and the others...they say things," Colin continued, "Nothing bad, but things. Stuff like oh, you sound gay or sometimes shit like your mum's gay. And I...I join in. So they won't know about...me. And I hate that they say it, and I hate that I join in, but I can't stop either of those things. And I can't even tell my fucking boyfriend because I'm scared of how he'll react."
Keeley squeezed Colin's arm, "Colin, none of that is your fault."
"I just wish I could tell them all to shut the fuck up, you know?" Colin answered bitterly. Keeley sighed.
"Of course I understand that," she said, "I went to an all-girl's school my whole life. People were calling me a dyke and a fag left right and center and I still acted homophobic.'
"But if I wasn't so scared I could-"
"Colin," Keeley's voice switched from sympathetic to firm, "Coming out is entirely your own choice. Being scared is normal and, in your case, correct. You don't know how most people will act, and the people you do know about, like the press, aren't exactly on your side. The fact that you are scared to come out is so. Fucking. Valid. You need to understand this. And you can't beat yourself up about staying safe."
Colin sighed, "It still hurts, though. Saying all those things...just to fit in..."
"Then don't," Keeley said with a small smile, "You don't have to tell them to stop if you're scared, but you don't have to join in. I promise you, they won't notice." Her smile grew wider, "And trust me, I am more than willing to give those twats a bollocking about this shit, alright?"
Colin smiled slightly, "Alright. Thanks."
Keeley rose, and extended a hand to help Colin up. He accepted.
"But my advice would be to tell your boyfriend about this," Keeley said, "He knows you better than me. Michael, was it?"
Colin gaped at her, "How did you get that?!"
Keeley flipped her wrist, "I'm gay, remember? Your gaydar may be shit but mine is spot on."
Colin laughed, "Jesus, yeah, I should probably work on that." He began to leave, but froze.
"Your boss.." he said, "Does she like you back?"
Keeley stuttered for a second, forgetting she'd told him about all that, "Uh- Yeah. I mean. She seemed pretty into me last night."
Colin shrugged, "Is she a decent person."
Keeley smiled, remembering the night before, "Yeah."
"So I don't think you've got anything to worry about. But ditching her house before she woke up, not talking to her? That's gotta stress someone out. Talk to her."
Keeley frowned, then gasped, "Holy shit you're right. UGH I'm such a twat!" She withdrew her phone, but was only greeted with an infuriating no-battery sign. She groaned and stalked her way to Rebecca's office.
"Oh, my god, stop disappearing!" Rebecca scolded when she entered the office. Keeley shrunk slightly, feeling bad for ditching someone twice. She plugged her phone into Rebecca's charger and joined her on the sofa.
"Alright, spill it," Rebecca said, her arms crossed, "Who were you hooking up with?"
Keeley sat up, "Huh?!"
Rebecca rolled her eyes, "Come on, Keeley. Your phone is dead, your clothes are creased, you don't know the match score - we lost four-nil by the way - and you're stressed. Who did you hook up with? I want to know!"
Keeley winced, "God, Rebecca, I'm so sorry about the match-"
"Oi, do not beat yourself up over this!" Rebecca demanded, slapping Keeley's arm. "I know you've been down in the dumps about Roy, it's good that you're back out there. Is he hot?" Keeley grinned and conceded.
"Fine. He's, well, she's-" Here Keeley paused for a second. While she had, well, constantly joked about her sexuality around Rebecca, she had never technically come out to her before. Of course, the chances of Rebecca being homophobic was almost nonexistent, but-
"Are you waiting to see if I'm homophobic?" Rebecca asked, and something in Keeley's heart became lighter, "Keeley, I think you'd know from when you joked about having sex with me."
"Oh it wasn't a joke." Keeley replied, her face completely serious, and they both laughed. "But, yeah, maybe a tiny part of me was worried."
"Well, is she hot? Tell me about her!" Rebecca pressed. Keeley smiled.
"Okay, well..." Keeley bit her lip, pondering, "I suppose she's more attractive than hot per ce-"
"Oh my god you slept with Jack."
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT?!"
Rebecca cackled as Keeley slapped her arm, "Payback for Sam, bitch." She said, grinning. Keeley groaned.
"I knew my incredible genius would come back to haunt me at some point!" she exclaimed, which only made Rebecca laugh more, "But, yes, I slept with my boss. I'm like Sam if Sam was bisexual, tiny, white, female and lacking in any athletic talent!"
"Oh, fuck off."
Keeley took a sip of her drink, "But seriously, I'm so sorry about not answering. What did you want to tell me?"
Rebecca's face morphed for a split second before bouncing straight back, "Oh, nothing, it doesn't matter."
"So are you the top or-"
"REBECCA!"
Rebecca chuckled, "So what now?"
"Well...I kinda ran away..." Keeley said, and Rebecca jolted up in surprise, "But now I'm trying to call her!"
"What do you mean, call her?!" Rebecca looked like she would slap Keeley, "She's your fucking boss! Don't call her, go to fucking work and fucking talk to her!"
"Holy shit you're right, you're always right," Keeley said, swiping her phone, "Love you, see you, wish me luck!"
"Good luck!" Rebecca shouted to the slam of her office door.
~~~~~~~~~~
Something about entering her own office felt...off. She had been late before, but never this late, and never on purpose.
And, of course, she was terrified.
She really didn't want to be fired. She really didn't want to lose Jack. And she really didn't want to run into-
"Ms Jones?' Barbara asked. Keeley bit her lip and spun around.
"Barbara!" she said, feigning cheeriness. She'd changed out of the clothes from last night, at least. "How are you? Sorry I'm late, traffic was...bad."
Barbara clearly wasn't buying it, which was fair. She watched Keeley for a second before sighing, "Jack's in the office at the end of the hall."
Keeley laughed bashfully, "What do you- what do you me-mean...?"
Barbara raised an eyebrow before leaving.
She had to give it to her. Barbara was perceptive.
Keeley crept down the hall and waited outside the door. It was ridiculous - this was her office - but she always felt, to at least a minute degree, that she wasn't welcome here. She shook her head and knocked.
"Yeah? Come in," Jack's voice replied, and Keeley entered. Jack glanced up, back at her computer and then took a second take at who was standing in her doorframe.
"Keeley!" She said, her voice very slightly strangled, "Come in! Hi!"
"Hi...Jack..." Keeley said. God. Usually, Keeley was calm and flirtatious with all her one-night-stands, but something about Jack was different. Maybe it was because she was her boss, maybe it was because she was the first woman she'd slept with in a while, maybe it was because she was embarrassed at how she left. Keeley took a seat opposite Jack at her desk.
"Listen, Keeley," Jack said, "I just wanted to say-"
"Wait-"
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
Silence.
"What do you mean, you're sorry?" Jack asked.
"Well I kissed you!" Keeley said incredulously, "And then slept with you! And then left you!"
Jack shrugged, "Okay, the leaving was...not great, but we already established that I was more than fine with the kiss. And I was the one that brought you round to my place? I should apologize!"
"No, no, absolutely not," Keeley said, starting to feel more at ease, "You made me feel like a million quid last night. But...I just don't want to be fired."
Jack sat up, her eyes widening, "Is that why you agreed?"
"No, god no!" Keeley almost yelled, "No, no, no, I mean now."
"Keeley, why would I fire you?"
"Well..." Keeley was beginning to feel a bit bashful, "I slept with you...and you might not want me working here anymore...and then I left your place before you woke up..."
Jack pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, "Keeley, I would never fire someone simply because I slept with them. That probably means I want them around more." Keeley laughed slightly, "And I can understand why you left. But why do you think it was half nine and my alarm hadn't gone off? I'm a busy woman, Keeley."
Keeley frowned, "The alarm...I don't... Oh my god you turned it off." Jack laughed, "Ugh, I'm such an idiot!"
Jack fiddled with her pen for a second, hesitantly, before placing a hand over Keeley's.
"I really like you," she said, "So, after work, would you care for some drinks?"
Keeley grinned, "I'd like that."
"But you should go because Barbara is definitely listening-"
"Oh yeah totally-"