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Easy Math

Summary:

Poor Wally has come down with a horrible sickness that leaves him with a craving for something peculiar. Blood. Of course, being the only human in the neighborhood, you're the only one who can satisfy it. You suppose it wouldn't do to let him suffer without any.

After all, what are friends for?

Notes:

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE VAMPIRE WALLY TREND STARTED, IT’S SO RANDOM! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!! HAHA!!!

The Count mentioned at the beginning is not the same Count from Sesame Street, it's just a silly reference to him (and I am not confident in my Sesame Street lore, forgive me-)

Also posted on Tumblr!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

How did you get into this mess anyway?

You supposed you shouldn’t have been too surprised. You were bound to deal with all sorts of insanities being the only human in a neighborhood full of puppets. Still, you never ceased to be amazed by their shenanigans, try as you might.

Your first mistake had been entertaining the idea from the very start.

Last week when a lone traveler had visited Home, a mysterious puppet with fangs and adorned in all black, the Count, you had your suspicions. The others insisted they were friendly but you couldn’t exactly trust those optimists’ judgment. Even when the Count aided them in a lesson in mathematics, you stayed your distance. You could learn all the math you wanted to from books you borrowed from Frank’s library very well, thank you.

By the time the puppet left, everyone was ogling about all the new things they’d learned and how cool the stranger was. It was almost enough to make you think you’d missed out. Almost.

Your doubts about the Count’s intentions were proven correct, though, when just a day later Wally had gotten sick. This was abnormal in itself (puppets didn’t usually get sick), but it didn’t seem to be a flu or cold of any sort. He’d gotten pretty pale through the course of the day and, for some reason, couldn’t stand being in the sun without his felt burning. Then the fangs appeared.

You didn’t really understand the logistics of a puppet being turned into a vampire. Why on Earth would something made of fabric and stuffing need blood to survive? You sure didn’t know but you had to stifle your questions and swallow your pride to focus on the situation at hand.

Wally needed blood. You were the only human. As the Count would say, it was pretty easy math.

You don’t know why you accepted. You were fairly certain giving in would just make his situation even more detrimental but… he needed help. And helping others was among some of the most important virtues shared by all of Home.

So, you told yourself it would be only one time. Just the once you’d made an exception for those pleading eyes and that cat-like smile.

Now here you were, standing on Home’s front doorstep, a basket of freshly picked apples threatening to drop from your hands as you stared at Wally.

“What?” you asked again, agape.

Wally repeated himself, unblinking. “Can I drink from you again, neighbor? Please?”

You readjusted the basket in your arms. The apples were supposed to be a get-well present, not you.

“Wally…” you started.

Wally ducked his head. “Ah, right. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again, I promise.”

Wally had made it very clear he didn’t like hurting you from his newfound hunger and would only drink your blood if you let him. This was what had convinced you to let him try the one time. You’d sworn to him there wouldn’t be a second.

But you didn’t have a strong resolve, not when it came to Wally it seemed. Just seeing a slightly sad look take over his usually cheery face made your heart drop and you sighed.

“Uh, fine, I guess.” You shrugged, speaking as coolly as you could manage. “Whatever.”

Wally’s face brightened instantly. “Really? Oh, thank you, neighbor! You’re so kind!”

You told him not to mention it (seriously, don’t, you didn’t need the other neighbors catching wind of what was happening) and stepped inside. You set the apples on a countertop before focusing your attention back on Wally.

“So,” you began, trying to make this interaction as least awkward as possible, “how do you know when you… um, need it? I guess.”

Wally sat on the couch and patted the spot beside him, motioning for you to join him. You obliged, though making sure to keep some distance between you.

“I start feeling weaker, I suppose,” he explained carefully. “And more sensitive.”

That made sense. Since figuring out his new aversion to sunlight, Howdy gifted Wally an umbrella to use when walking about the sunny outside. Even so, he hadn’t ventured outside Home today, which was unusual, to say the least.

He also looked disheveled, if that was possible for the perfectionist puppet. As someone who prided himself on his appearance, Wally wouldn’t have dared ever let you see him with his pompadour done, replaced by a mess of long curls cascading down his face and so pale and sickly looking under different circumstances. He really was getting desperate.

“…And I get this feeling,” he continued, keeping his voice even as he spoke. “Like I can’t live without it. It’s like... being thirsty but different. Stronger.”

'Bloodlust' was a word that came to mind but you didn’t say it out loud. You only nodded.

“Yeah, being a vampire will do that to you,” you joked.

Wally just looked at you blankly, his smile not leaving his face. While usually cute, it looked a bit more menacing with a pair of fangs attached to it, poking out of his mouth.

“There’s other stuff too like…” You paused, thinking about all the vampire-related media you’d consumed in your lifetime. “…you can’t eat garlic. Have you eaten any garlic lately?”

“Nope,” Wally replied.

“Hm. Have you touched silver? You can’t mess with that either.” Wally shook his head. “What about your reflection? Do you still have one?”

Wally gestured to his hair sadly. “No.”

You chuckled.

As interesting as learning the effects of vampirism on puppets was, you knew you were just prolonging the inevitable. Hesitant, you sat closer, hands fidgeting in your lap.

“Okay, you can do it,” you told him, “but please be careful.”

He was the first time. You had no reason to believe he wouldn’t be again. Still.

"Are you sure, neighbor?" Suddenly, Wally was the one who was tentative. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

You put on a confident smile, gazing into his eyes before nodding.

Wally said and did nothing at first, instead just returning your stare with an intense look of his own. You weren't quite sure why the short puppet loved eye contact. Once, he did say something about it being polite, but the amount that he did it was just unnerving. To others, at least. You sort of learned to enjoy it, over time, so much so that you were sure you had the exact look of those two, inky black voids called pupils memorized, often the subject of your daydreams.

As much as you hated to admit to yourself, there was of course another reason you were not so keen on the whole blood-drinking situation. You were fairly certain you had an infatuation with Wally, which was bothersome at least and downright embarrassing at most. This had been something you were made well aware of long before the Count came and you had been dealing with just fine until then. Impromptu staring contests and Wally's latest fixations with holding your hand and (incorrectly) blowing kisses at you whenever you were near were just some of the things you'd learned to handle. Drinking from your blood was something totally different! 

"Should I-?" You tried to keep your voice even as you nervously tugged at your collar.

Wally caught your hand with his, helping to tug it a bit lower and exposing your neck, causing you to flinch from the cold air that hit there. Wally leaned back with a monotonous laugh and you joined him. 

"Sorry," you said between quiet giggles. "I guess I'm just nervous."

Wally shook his head. "Don't be nervous, neighbor. I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're biting my neck." You sent him a playful glare. "It's going to hurt."

"Right." Wally seemed dismayed by this but continued. "Well, if it hurts too much, just tap me. I'll make sure to stop."

You agreed, nerves settling once more. After all, you were less worried about the small, stinging pain you were about to endure and more focused on the close proximity between you and him. Wally was now kneeling beside you to be level with your neck and you were leaning slightly to accommodate for his small stature. You sincerely hoped he didn't notice the reddening blush forming on your face, though you could feel his stare on your neck. A few seconds went by of just him staring and you waiting, and if the anticipation didn't kill you, you were sure the queasy feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach would. 

"Can you-?"

He interrupted your plea by hitting the lower half of his face against the side of your neck. That startled you slightly as you felt his fuzzy felt skin tickle you. You suppressed a laugh before you suddenly felt his mouth open and one of those pointy fangs scrape against your skin and you shivered.

"Can I what?" he asked, voice genuine. 

"Hurry up," you finished.

He chuckled against your throat and, in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from that sensation, you flicked your eyes down to look at him. His eyes were piercing into yours and you swear you saw a tint of red in them. Then, in a flash, he ducked his head lower and his fangs sunk into your skin. 

You held your breath as you felt the skin break, sharp teeth pricking you like two tiny pinpoints on your skin. Your first instinct was to lean away, so you put a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself, squeezing it gently. Wally shot back at the action and gave you a look of concern. 

"Sorry!" he was quick to exclaim. "I'm so sorry!"

You kept your hold on him, ignoring the way your heart pounded and rattled inside your chest. "No! It didn't hurt, I was just surprised."

Wally sighed with relief. "Well, the worst part is over."

He nodded to your neck, where you felt two small rivets of blood dribbling down. You waited patiently for him to drink it with his eyes, much like how he ate food with them too, turning the other way for him. Wally didn't appreciate being stared at while he ate or drank, you knew, and you figured even if it was your blood, this was no exception. In a matter of seconds, you felt the blood be cleaned up from your neck as the streams slowed and then Wally tapped your shoulder.

"All done!" he cheered with a smile.

You looked at him, faltering a bit when you noticed the red stains on his fangs, and smiled back, feeling your blush deepen.

"That wasn't so bad," you admitted. "But in any case, I'm glad that's it."

Wally said nothing. The scarlet light in his eyes seemed to shine a bit brighter and your gaze couldn't help but drop back to his bloody fangs before coming back to his eyes again.

"What?" You rubbed your sore neck with a timid smile. "Are you feeling any better?"

Wally's smile didn't match his eyes. They stared at yours intently as you got the growing sense that his hunger was far from satisfied. 

"Yes," he spoke carefully. "Thank you, neighbor."

You inwardly cursed at yourself. It was clear he was lying, likely to save you from feeling like you had to give him any more. He was still pale and there was the same tiredness in his limbs and expression. Even though you knew the effects of drinking your blood would take time to kick in, you knew it wasn't enough. Your mind reeled at the idea of having to do this again, yet, in a terrible act of betrayal, your heart thudded, reminding you also how nice it had felt. You ached for the closeness again and, even if it was far from any sort of romantic act, it was fun to imagine.

"You still need more," you stated matter-of-factly.

Wally seemed shocked by this, half-lidded eyes widening. "I don't want to be rude..."

You scooted closer to him (in a hopefully casual manner) and shook your head.

"No, go ahead. I'll be fine. Honest," you told him.

You calmed your buzzing nerves with a deep breath and smiled wider. Wally took a second to drink in your features, and, after deeming you were fit to continue, he leaned in again. 

"Okay, neighbor," he sighed against your neck, right over where the last bite had been. "This one might hurt a little more."

Before you had time to react, those fangs bit into you again and you swallowed down a cry of pain. Wally just moved a hand to the other side of your neck, holding you still in a comforting way, allowing you to leave his hold if you pleased. You did not, instead pulling closer to him as his teeth dug more into you. This time was far harsher than the last, now less of a stinging and more of a burning as you did everything in your power not to grab onto him too tightly as to scare him away. Interestingly enough, you felt yourself relax against him after just a few seconds, succumbing to the strange sensations.

It was over far too soon as Wally finally pulled back and you felt the fresh bite be met with empty air. Then, blood began coursing down your neck and you frowned at the feeling. You began to avert your eyes, ready for the puppet to begin drinking only to hear Wally's voice, sweet and gentle.

"Neighbor?" he hummed. You looked at him. The blood on his fangs was a much deeper shade now, coating more of it now. "You can look."

You said nothing, just watched as Wally's pupils dilated and the blood started to disappear from your skin. Your eyes didn't move from his and you found yourself unable to so much as blink at the sight. He was beautiful and all too alluring like this, hair down and your blood on his mouth while his eyes worked to drink from you. Your body trembled as your heart pounded inside you, reminding you why you'd been so reluctant to do this in the first place. It'd be a miracle if Wally hadn't noticed your flushed face at this point. 

Then, Wally blinked and his eyes met yours with a soft smile. Somehow, he already looked to be regaining some of his strength, glowing with a certain, healthy radiance he hadn't had before.

"Okay!" he said, signaling he was finished. 

You ripped your gaze away, sure your face was as red as one of his apples, and instinctively put a finger to where he'd bit you. You hissed sharply at the pain your touch sent down your neck and Wally gasped.

"Neighbor!" He moved your hand to examine your neck, once again his face pulling close to yours and you thought you might faint, and not just from all the blood loss. "You said you'd tell me if I needed to stop!"

"I'm fine," you insisted, lightly pushing him away with one hand. "Really."

Wally didn't look so convinced and he instantly got off the couch. Home, seemingly having read his mind, thumped its floorboards and swung open a cabinet in the kitchen for him. He walked over to it and rummaged through its contents for a while before pulling a box out. You watched as he stopped at the fridge too, taking a water bottle out. Puppets didn't need water, that was just a part of the stash he kept for you. You bit down on your tongue to stop giddy feelings from bubbling up inside you too much and he made his way back over to sit beside you again.

"Drink this." He handed you the water bottle. "Water always seems to make you humans feel better!"

You couldn't argue with that, twisting the lid off to drink the cold water. Then, he brought out the box, full of bandages and ointments and such. Again, not anything puppets are needed. Their form of first-aid was a sewing kit complete with a needle and stitches, usually provided by Poppy. Your face warmed at the thought that Wally kept this around just for you. 

"I have many different kinds." Wally plucked a few bandages out to show you as an example. "There's these with the hearts on them and these with the cute little butterflies and- oh! I forgot about these!" He laughed as he took out a bandage decorated with an apple pattern. "This one is scented!"

"Really?" you laughed too. You pointed at the apple one. "I guess that one, then."

Wally smiled. He had a wipe in his other hand, which he used to clean the blood stains before carefully placing the bandage over the bites. You continued drinking your water, completely content, until he did something that made you choke on it a little. Wally nuzzled his face against your neck, pressing his mouth to it, and leaned away with a "mwah!" At the sight of your shocked expression, though, his smile shrank.

"Oh no! Did I do something wrong?" he fretted. "I thought kisses made stuff like this feel better."

You swallowed the water, now more sure than ever that you must've done something to displease whatever deity watched over you and you were being punished severely for it. Despite your squirming and heated cheeks, you gave him a smile.

"No! N-no, you're right. It helps." The amount of overwhelming emotions you were feeling made your words feel all twisted, coming out in embarrassingly short stammers. "Thank you. I feel better already."

Wally brightened. He made no comment on your flustered state, simply cuddling close to you happily. His head fell easily between your neck and shoulder and you carefully wrapped an arm around him. Surely, he could hear your speedy heartbeat, possibly even feel it, and the realization only served to make you more nervous.

"Thank you, neighbor," he whispered. You felt him go adorably limp in your embrace. It was nice. "You're a good friend."

You hummed. Perhaps too good a friend, you thought, thinking about how much of your own dignity you'd sacrificed tonight. But you were an even bigger lovestruck fool because you knew you'd do anything for Wally, including let him drink from your blood if (rather, when) he asked again. 

You were still set on helping Wally figure out how to undo the transformation. Most of your days since the Count left had been spent in the mythology section of Frank's library, though it was limited. You were determined to figure out a solution to his problem that didn't involve giving him your blood every time he was hungry but, for now, this was alright, you supposed. If you allowed yourself to entertain the very selfish idea, you wouldn't entirely mind it if Wally was a vampire for a while longer either. 

You thought this as you held his still body closer, the minutes going by as neither of you made any effort to detangle yourself from the other. You were sure he'd fallen asleep when you felt your legs go numb beneath you. His face was more pressed against your neck now, buried in the spot where he'd put your bandage. You felt his head move and resigned to closing your eyes to sleep with him but, just as you had, they snapped open. Wally didn't sleep. You heard a small noise come from him and you shifted your head to stare at his eyes, which were already open and wide and drinking in your expression with a smile.

"Are you smelling the bandage?" you asked.

"Maybe," he quipped and then slowly laughed. 

Notes:

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! <3

I'm working on my human AU fic still, so keep an eye out for that one! I'm very excited for it! :)