SYSTEM UPDATE: CHAT FEATURE UNLOCKED

by MissCharlot

Summary:

<18:00>

SYSTEM UPDATE: THANK YOU FOR EXECUTING OUR MANDITORY UPDATE

WE HOPE THIS NEW FEATURE IS SATISFACTORY. ANY BUGS MAY BE REPORTED TO @SYSTEM_UPDATE

WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO CHANGE YOUR TEMPORARY NAMES TO YOUR REAL ONES.

Or:
I was bored and wrote a chatfic, sue me (Plz dont im poor)

Chapter 1

<18:00>

SYSTEM UPDATE: THANK YOU FOR EXECUTING OUR MANDITORY UPDATE <CHAT_UNLOCKING> WE HOPE THIS NEW FEATURE IS SATISFACTORY. ANY BUGS MAY BE REPORTED TO @SYSTEM_UPDATE

   WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO CHANGE YOUR TEMPORARY NAMES TO YOUR REAL ONES.

 

PEERLESS CUCUMBER: HOW HAS THIS FEATURE ONLY BEEN UNLOCKED NOW! YOU USELESS PIECE OF CRAP SYSTEM!

 

-USER: PEERLESS CUCUMBER HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO: Shen Qingqiu-

 

Shen Qingqiu: that’s better

 

<19:51>

-USER: AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWORDS THE SKY HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO: Shang Qinghua

 

Shang Qinghua: Cucumber broooo!!!!! Hows it hanging

   ?

      did you die again or something?

 

<21:35>

Shen Qingqiu: I lived bitch

 

Shang Qinghua: what even happened???

 

Shen Qingqiu: Wife plot #3564345

   actually like #274 but whos counting

      I am. I’m counting.

 

Shang Qinghua: numbers tell me nothing

   what happened

      no details please

 

Shen Qingqiu: …fine

   2 words.

      Tentacle. Plant.

 

Shang Qinghua: yikes man that sucks

 

Shen Qingqiu: tell me about it

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE: <COMUNICATION CRYSTALS> CAN BE BOUGHT FROM THE B-POINT STORE. THESE CAN BE USED TO CHAT WITH ANY CHARACTER GIVEN ONE

   ALL USERS WILL GET 3 OF THEM FOR FREE

      THIS SYSTEM ENCOURAGES USERS TO WORK HARD AND EARN MORE <COMUNICATION CRYSTALS>

 

Shang Qinghua: its sweet that the system thinks I even have 3 people to give it to

 

Shen Qingqiu: hA friendless loser

   Cant write, cant make friends. What can you do?

 

Shang Qinghua: Hypocrite, you only have 2 yourself

 

Shen Qingqiu: I actually do have 3 people! So politely! Get fucked!

 

Shang Qinghua: Who then! Maybe you and your army of friends can take my spares too

 

Shen Qingqiu: lmao sure ill just give them to the other peek lords, most of us get along just fine

   And it would actually be useful

 

Shang Qinghua: I hate that that’s a good idea

   Fine ill give you the others

 

Shen Qingqiu: the correct choice

   Remember to watch your language

 

Shang Qinghua: do you really think im that stupid????

 

Shen Qingqiu: …

   …

      …

         …

 

Shang Qinghua: fair

 

 

 

<23:23>

-WELCOME USER: Mobei-Jun-

 

<10:03>

-WELCOME USER: Liu Qingge-

 

<10:07>

-WELOME USER: Yue Qingyuan-

 

<10:08>

-WELCOME USER: Mu Qingfang-

 

<10:09>

-WELCOME USER: Qi Qingqi-

 

 

Shang Quinghua: didn’t we have one more?

   Wait…

 

-WELCOME USER: Luo Binghe-

 

Shang Qinghua: there he is.

 

Luo Binghe: Any problems with me being here? :)

 

Shen Qingqiu: Binghe, behave. I can take the crystal back if I wish to do so.       

 

Luo Binghe: Yes shizun.

 

Shang Qinghua: how does he already know about emoticons?????

 

Mobei-Jun:

---> Shen Qingqiu: Binghe, behave. I can take the crystal back if I wish to do so.  

Considering this implies Shen Qingqiu gave him the crystal, I assume he also taught him how to use it.

 

Liu Qingge: I don’t care about the weird smile

   BUT WHY ARE THERE DEMONS IN HERE

      WHY DID NOBODY COMMENT ON THE TWO DEMON LORDS IN OUR PEAK LORDS COMUNICATOR?

 

Shen Qingqiu: ah Liu-shidi, its not just for peak lords, it’s for any who find one.

   I gave it to Binghe because it’s easier to stay in touch that way.

      I gave it to the peak lords for the same reason

         If I find any more of them, I will give it to any I deem need it

 

Shang Qinghua: That personality switch though

 

Shen Qingqiu: I have no clue :) What you’re talking about :)

 

SYSTEM UPDATE: FROM NOW ON, SEPARATE CHATS CAN BE MADE

   PLEASE ENJOY THIS FEATURE

 

Yue Qingyuan: I suppose this will satisfy Lui-shidi? Send message.

 

Shen Qingqiu: Oh.

   Oh no.

 

Yue Qingyuan: What is the problem?

 

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

 

Shen Qingqiu: I AM HAVING REGRETS WHY DOES HE TEXT LIKE AN OLD MAN

   IT ALREADY TOOK LIKE 4 MINUTES TO EVEN EXPLAIN HOW IT WORKED

 

Shang Qinghua: SUCKS TO SUCK BRO YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

 

Shen Qingqiu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

Qi Qingqi: That thing said we could make separate chats, so hurry it up!

   As much as I would love to myself, I need to fuck around with this thing for longer so I understand how it works.

 

Mu Qingfang: …I was going to say the same… just more… polite.

 

Shang Qinghua: I’ll create the chat no worries

 

Mu Qingfang: many thanks

 

<Shang Qinghua HAS CREATED GROUP CHAT: Peak lords of Cang Qiong Mountain>

 

-Shang Qinghua has added: Shen Qingqiu and 4 other(s)-

 

Shang Qinghua: now. Let the chaos begin…

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: That's greatly offensive to my people.
Shen Qingqiu: College dropouts?

Chapter 2

<Peak lords of Cang Qiong Mountain>

<14:42>

 

Liu Qingge: So I was just casually sparring with the disciples right?

   And I (obviously) won

      But the moment I knocked them down they just yelled out “daddy”

         I… don’t know how to feel about this

 

Qi Qingqi: Beat them to a pulp.

 

Yue Qingyuan: Tell them its wrong, and to not do it again. Send message.

 

Liu Qingge:

---> Yue Qingyuan: Tell them it’s wrong, and to not do it again. Send message.

   Well, I tried that for once, because Shen Qingqiu told me to be less aggressive.

      …The disciple told me its normal and asked me why I was asking in the first place.

          My question is, can I kick them off the mountain

 

Shen Qingqiu: If you don’t kick them off, I will.

   Personally, and literally, kick them off the mountain

 

Yue Qingyuan: It seems that the choice has been made for me. Send message.

   However, I would prefer if you did not literally kick them off. Send message.

 

Shen Qingqiu: You don’t need to add Send message to the end of every message you know…

 

Yue Qingyuan: ah, my apologies Shen-shidi

 

Shang Qinghua: JFC thank you SO much bro it was getting annoying
-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Shang Qinghua: …Wrong chat very sorry…

 

Yue Qingyuan: I do not understand but apology accepted?

 

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

 

Shen Qingqiu: YOU FUCKING dUMBASS

 

Shang Qinghua: LISTEN BRO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO CHANGE CHATS

 

Shen Qingqiu: YEA I NOTICED

 

Shang Qinghua: Bro im sorry :(

   I deleted it :(

      Im sure he didn’t notice

 

Shen Qingqiu: he didn’t, but please.

   Contain yourself for once

 

Shang Qinghua: …

   That gives me an idea…

 

Shen Qingqiu: It cant be a good one if it came from you

 

Shang Qinghua: 1. RUDE

   2. fair

      3. This will probably not affect you so don’t worry

 

Shen Qingqiu: Probably?????

   Hello????

      …fuck

 

<Shang Qinghua HAS CREATED GROUPCHAT: The many husbands of Shen Qingqiu>

 

-Shang Qinghua has added: Luo Binghe and 1 other(s)-

 

-Shang Qinghua has changed the nicknames of 3 users-

 

 

Demon husband: Can I change it to first husband?

 

Aggressive husband: Fuck no

 

Demon husband: ah, the name fits, lovely

 

Best husband: …this was a bad idea wasn’t it…

 

Demon husband: Absolutely it was, and that name is unforgiveable

 

Aggressive husband: Change the name or ill stab you

 

Best husband: …fine

 

-Best husband has changed their name to: Pathetic husband-

 

Demon husband: That’s perfect

 

Pathetic husband: nobody appreciates me :(

 

Aggressive husband: your right.

 

Pathetic husband: … :(

 

Aggressive husband: also why isn’t Mobei-jun here?

   Didn’t you marry him?

 

Pathetic husband: I did, but he didn’t marry Shen Qingqiu sooo

 

Demon husband: hes right.

   Its an honour to marry Shizun.

      I will not allow him to marry someone with no love for him

 

Pathetic husband: If you let anyone that loves him marry him, this group would include a shit ton more people

 

Aggressive husband: W H A T

   HOW MANY?????

      I REFUSE TO SHARE WITH EVEN MORE

 

Pathetic husband: Let me count…

   Including us… about 7 I think?

      On the edge about a few though

         This isn’t counting people with only sexual desire though

 

Aggressive husband: …

 

Demon husband: As he deserves, everyone should bow down at my husbands feet

   He is the most perfect man on this planet

      No, the most perfect in the universe

 

Pathetic husband: im cutting you off right there thanks

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: Am I in trouble?
Luo Binghe: Take a guess.
Shang Qinghua: No?
Luo Binghe: Take another guess.

Chapter 3

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

<00:53>

 

 

Shang Qinghua: Bro im so tired I feel like im drunkk

 

Shen Qingqiu: I mean I could get drunk so we can compare the feelings?

 

Shang Qinghua: read my fuckin mind bro come over plz

   Im sad and tired-drunk

 

Shen Qingqiu: lets change that to nomal and drunk-drunk

 

 

<General chat>

<13:05>

 

 

Mobei-Jun: has anyone seen my husband.

 

Luo Binghe: HAS ANYONE SEEN MINE

 

Mu Qingfang: I haven’t seen either, and considering the shit those 2 get into…

   We should find them fast

 

Qi Qingqi: Damn what made the doctor man curse?

 

Mu Qingfang: You don’t know how often those 2 come to my peak with the STRANGEST injuries and poisons.

   Its concerning.

 

Yue Qingyuan: I am very concerned.

   Someone help me search for them

 

Liu Qingge: On it.

 

Yue Qingyuan: many thanks

 

 

<16:23>

 

Liu Qingge: …

   I found them…

      @Mu_Qingfang im heading over there

 

Mu Qingfang: What happened this time?

 

Liu Qingge: These 2 dumbasses that I love very much

   Decided that it was a good idea to drink 50 bottles of wine in 1 single day

      I found them passed out on Shang Qinghua’s peak with 45 empty bottles of wine surrounding them

 

Mu Qingfang: I expected worse.

   Bring them over here

 

Liu Qingge: WORSE???

 

Mu Qingfang: Can’t say more

   Doctor-patient confidentiality and all

      Hurry up and get them here please

 

Liu Qingge: …Fine

 

 

<21:23>

 

Mu Qingfang: they are alive and well, if a little hungover

 

Luo Binghe: Thank FUCK

   I’m coming over right now

 

Mobei-Jun: I am also coming over there as soon as this meeting is done.

   And I say its done so I’m coming over now.

 

Qi Qingqi: God I wish I could just cancel meetings whenever I feel like it

   Sounds incredible

      @Yue_Qingyuan please give me this power, I will (not) use it for good

 

Yue Qingyuan: Unfortunately, I have denied your request to cancel meetings, as all meetings are necessary and purposeful

 

Qi Qingqi: NECESSARY?

   I CALL BULLSHIT

      SO MUCH BULLSHIT

         SINCE WHEN IS YOU THINKING THE FOOD TASTED GOOD A NECESSARY MEETING???

 

Yue Qingyuan: I wanted to compliment the cook.

 

Qi Qingqi: That can be done in PRIVATE DAMNIT

 

Shen Qingqiu: I verys oryy for any oribelms cause by me stete

 

Liu Qingge: What?

 

Mu Qingfang: …still slightly drunk then…

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Liu Qingge: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Shen Yuan: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Luo Binghe: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
Yue Qingyuan: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

Chapter 4

<General chat>

<02:08>

 

Shang Qinghua: And that’s why I think we should murder all dolphins, any questions?

 

Mobei-Jun: None, you have convinced me

 

Shen Qingqiu: I have SEVERAL

   Like 1: How do you plan to kill the dolphins

      2: When are we killing those monsters

 

Liu Qingge: 3, what are dolphins?

   From what you have said they should be extremely dangerous and thus well known

      But ive never heard of them

         Don’t get me wrong I want to fight them.

            But I would know of such a dangerous monster, and it would be dead

 

Shen Qingqiu: YOU NEVER ADDED A DOLPHIN MONSTER TO THIS WORLD??!!?

   You HACK of an author!

-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Liu Qingge: …What

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

 

Shang Qinghua: WHOS THE DUMBASS NOW BRO HAHAHAH

 

Shen Qingqiu: SHUT UP

 

 

<General chat>

 

Luo Binghe: Shizun come back to bed :(

   I want more hugs :(

      Alright which one of you assholes made him run into the bathroom all embarrassed

         (and cute so your punishment will be light)

 

Shang Qinghua: I will never get used to that

 

 

<PRIVATE CHAT: Shang Qinghua + Luo Binghe>

 

Shang Qinghua: pics?

 

Luo Binghe: Fuck no.

   Im keeping those to myself.

 

Shang Qinghua: welp it was worth a try

 

 

 

<General chat>

 

Liu Qingge: HE GETS EMBARRESED THAT EASILY???

 

Luo Binghe: I will make him divorce you don’t test me.

 

Liu Qingge: YOU WOULDN’T DARE

 

Yue Qingyuan: …divorce?

   But… wasn’t A-Jiu… unmarried?

 

Shang Qinghua: …

   HOW DENSE ARE YOU????

 

Luo Binghe: How dare you insinuate that I haven’t married shizun

   The love of my life

      The most gorgeous being on this planet

 

Shang Qinghua: please don’t go on another rant we have had enough of those.

   @Yue_Qingyuan He is married to 3 of us if that helps

 

Yue Qingyuan: Who. Just asking.

 

Shang Qinghua: Ignoring the murderous vibes there

 

Mu Qingfang: Please don’t ignore the murderous vibes

   I don’t want you back here again.

 

Shang Qinghua: we all know I have no sense of danger

 

Mu Qingfang: sadly, I do know

 

Shang Qinghua: ANYWAYS

   Shen Qingqiu is married to 3 men

      Me

         Luo Binghe

            And Liu Qingge

 

Yue Qingyuan: …

   How did I not… notice?

 

Shang Qinghua: idk we werent really keeping it a secret

   Except maybe Liu Qingge? But hes just as smitten as me and Binghe

-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Luo Binghe: did I say you could use my name?

 

Shang Qinghua: …

   Idk we werent really keeping it a secret

      Except maybe Liu Qingge? But hes just as smitten as me and Emperor Luo

 

Liu Qingge: I AM NOT KEEPING IT A SECRET I JUST DON’T TELL PEOPLE

 

Yue Qingyuan: that is nOT THE POINT

   WHAT about me

      That should have been me

 

Luo Binghe: …

   @Shang_Qinghua Was he one of the 7?

 

Shang Qinghua: Yep lol

 

Luo Binghe: good. 4 of of 7 found then

   Ill see if Shizun wants to respond to this

      …

         He wants to talk

            And as a good husband should, I will allow you 2 to talk this out

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Yue Qingyuan>

 

Shen Qingqiu: I apologize, but I cannot accept

   NOT BECAUSE I HATE YOU OR SOMETHING SIMILAIR!!!

      I just don’t think it would be fair to you

 

Yue Qingyuan: Not fair to… me?

   But I asked?

 

Shen Qingqiu: right…

   I should probably have this conversation in real life but whatever

      Im not Shen Jiu.

         Haven’t been for a while

 

Yue Qingyuan: …

 

Shen Qingqiu: Years ago, I had a qi devastation

   Remember that?

 

Yue Qingyuan: I do

   Of course I do, I was terrified that something happened to you

 

Shen Qingqiu: at that moment, Shen Jiu died

   And I, Shen Yuan, took his place, unwillingly

      AND BEFORE YOU HATE ME WE ARE LOOKING AT WAYS TO BRING HIM BACK I PROMISE

 

Yue Qingyuan: I…

   Don’t know how to respond to this

 

Shen Qingqiu: I could come over there if it would help?

 

Yue Qingyuan: Please do

   I have questions

 

Shen Qingqiu: I will answer any I can

Notes:

Fun fact! This chapter was exactly 666 words!

(also might update a little less for the next week because i will be playing Tears of the Kingdom)

Chapter 5

<PERSONAL CHATt: Shen Qingqiu + Luo Binghe>

<18:28>

 

 

Shen Qingqiu: I read back that chat from a few days ago and I have a question Binghe

 

Luo Binghe: Yes shizun (*´▽`*)      

 

Shen Qingqiu: Whats this thing about 4 out of 7 found?

 

Luo Binghe: Nothing you should worry about :D

   Its nothing harmful I promise

 

Shen Qingqiu: … I didn’t think it was but now im worried

   What does it mean???

 

Luo Binghe: …

   One second please

 

Shen Qingqiu: Alright?

 

<GROUPCHAT: The many husbands of Shen Qingqiu>

 

Demon husband: HELP SHIZUN ASKED ABOUT THE 7 LOVERS THING

 

Pathetic husband: Just tell him?

   Im sure it wont be THAT bad

 

Aggressive husband: Your lying is pretty bad

 

Demon husband: PLEASE JUST HELP ME EXPLAIN

 

Pathetic husband: Uhhhhh

   Just blame it on me :D

      That usually works just fine!

 

Demon husband: Oh I was already going to do that

   I just need a way to say it

 

Pathetic husband: Am I just here to be your human excuse :(

 

Aggressive husband: You JUST figured that out?

   We’ve been using you as a way out of things for longer than my brain wants me to go back

 

Pathetic husband: :(

   Tell him its suspects we’re clearing for something like a mission or something

      And that I asked you for help

         Tell me if you need more details

 

Demon husband: THANK YOU SO MUCH

 

<PERSONAL CHATt: Shen Qingqiu + Luo Binghe>

 

Luo Binghe: I had to check some details with the rat

 

Shen Qingqiu: ???

 

Luo Binghe: *Shang Qinghua my bad

   The 2 look so similar

 

Shen Qingqiu: Cant say I disagree but please get to the point

 

Luo Binghe: Right!

   The rat asked me for some help with a mission

      And I, as a good co-husband, agreed

        That’s what I asked him about

 

Shen Qingqiu: Okay…

   The context doesn’t seem to fit but ill trust you on this

 

Liu Binghe: Thank you shizun :D

 

 

<GROUPCHAT: The many husbands of Shen Qingqiu>

 

 

Demon husband: I DID IT

   I FEEL HORIBLE BUT I DID IT

 

Pathetic husband: How screwed am I exactly?

 

Demon husband: He didn’t seem mad at all actually so probably (sadly) safe

 

Pathetic husband: Ignoring the sadly

   WHOOOOOOOOO

 

Aggressive husband: I can change that for you?

 

Pathetic husband: NO THANK YOU IM ENJOYING NOT BEING A TARGET FOR ONCE

 

Demon husband: …Your name really does fit you

   Its almost cute how pathetic you are

 

Pathetic husband: Im cute ;D

 

Demon husband: You have to have something good about you for shizun to marry you

 

Aggressive husband: And a reason we haven’t stabbed you

 

Pathetic husband: You have stabbed me before but loving the sentiment!

   Very sweet of both of you :D

 

Aggressive husband: *stabbed you fatally

 

Pathetic husband: You’ve gotten close but that statement is true!

 

Demon husband: The only reason I haven’t stabbed him yet is because it would make shizun sad

   Be warned that this is currently the only reason I haven’t killed you yet you annoying rat

 

Pathetic husband: …Im gonna give A-Yuan extra hugs…

 

Demon husband: :D

Notes:

Sorry for not updating for like 2 weeks lol, my brother got an extremely dangerous Wound infection and had to get emergency surgery like the moment i wanted to start writing again. Sorry about that :D

I SHOULD be able to go back to like... one update every 3 days min? Idk im still pretty mentaly dead lol but ill try.

Chapter 6

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

<21:32>

 

Shang Qinghua: Heya bro the body is almost ready!!!!

   We should be able to test out your theory soon!

 

Shen Qingqiu: Niceeee

   Also Yue Qingyuan knows lol

      About the spare bodies and about the plan

 

Shang Qinghua: …Bro

   YOU TELL ME THIS NOW????

      I thought you loved me :(

         Turns out you don’t :(

            Not keeping me updated on the gossip

 

Shen Qingqiu: …Dramatic much?

   Its recent, he hasn’t known for long

 

Shang Qinghua: :(

   I demand compensation

 

Shen Qingqiu: Kisses?

 

Shang Qinghua: HELL YEA

 

Shen Qingqiu: omw

 

Shang Qinghua: WHOOOO

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Luo Binghe + Mobei-Jun>

 

Mobei-Jun: Rebels from the south.

 

Luo Binghe: Loosen up a bit your texts are so boring

 

Mobei-Jun: My texts are to inform not to entertain

 

Luo Binghe: Booooooo

   Be less boring

 

Mobei-Jun: This surely isn’t the most important thing right now?

   Fight first, talk later

 

Luo Binghe: Finee

   But we are talking more about this later

 

Mobei-Jun: If you must

 

Luo Binghe: I felt you sigh through the screen

   Its impressive

      Ay where did you go

         I CAN SEE YOU READING THIS

            Gods your boring

 

Mobei-Jun: Good, now fight

 

Luo Binghe: If I must (≖､≖)

 

Mobei-Jun: leave the mocking for later

 

<GROUPCHAT: Peak lords of of Cang Qiong Mountain>

<12:12>

 

Yue Qingyuan: Just reminding you, in a few days, Peek Lord Shen’s Brother will move in with him for safety reasons

 

Qi Qingqi: very mysterious

   I demand a name

 

Shen Qingqiu: Shen Yuan.

   Would that be all?

 

Lui Qingge: …Where did that come from…

 

Shen Qingqiu: My brain, where else dumbass

 

Shang Qinghua: The girls are fightinggg

 

Shen Qingqiu: Shut up rat

 

Shang Qinghua: :(

   That hurts not-bro

 

Shen Qingqiu: You’ll live.

 

Yue Qingyuan: Right… this wouldn’t last long would it…

 

Shen Qingqiu: I don’t know what you expected.

   I got hit with a spell and my own self got temporarily pushed out of my own body.

      The person you have been seeing for the past few years has been Shen Yuan.

         He took over temporary

 

<Luo Binghe HAS ADDED Luo Binghe TO THE CHAT>

 

Luo Binghe: WHAT

 

Shen Qingqiu: Hello little beast.

   I would say im happy to see you again but that would be a lie

 

<Shang Qinghua HAS ADDED Shen Yuan TO THE CHAT>

 

Shen Yuan: Thanks bro

 

Shang Qinghua: No problem!

 

Shen Yuan: Man its weird to not have to act anymore

 

Shen Qingqiu: Its not like you were ever good at it

 

Shen Yuan: HEY THAT’S

   …

      Fair

 

Luo Binghe: Shizun…?

 

Shen Qingqiu: Gross

   Never say that again

 

Shen Yuan:

 

Shen Qingqiu: speechless already?

 

Shang Qinghua: I don’t think he’s speechless considering he just left my house

   Slamming the door shut

      And no longer has to act calm and composed

 

Luo Binghe: Beat his ass A-Yuan

 

Shang Qinghua: That’s adorable

 

Yue Qingyuan: Don’t kill him please I just got him back

 

Mu Qingfang: Yes don’t

   I don’t need 4 people constantly getting hurt

      Its tiring and annoying

 

Liu Qingge: …why are 2 Shen Qingqiu’s fighting???

 

Qi Qingqi: Read dumbass

 

Liu Qingge: Wait so who did I marry???

 

Shen Yuan: Me.

 

Liu Qingge: Neat

 

Qi Qingqi: Wheres the anger???

   The murder?

      How boring

 

Liu Qingge: I mean you cant say the other guy is…

   You know…

 

Shen Qingqiu: Im right fucking here you know

   Yue Qingyuan I know what your going to say shut up

 

Yue Qingyuan:

 

Shen Yuan: I can take back over do not test me

   I only brought you back because I felt bad

      However my pity is limited

 

Shen Qingqiu: Fine whatever

   Oh and

 

<Shen Qingqiu HAS REMOVED Luo Binghe FROM Peak lords of of Cang Qiong Mountain>

 

Shen Qingqiu: don’t come back

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?
Shen Yuan: Get two more chairs.
Yue Qingyuan: Cut each chair in half to make six.
Liu Qingge: Make them FIGHT for their seats!
Shen Jiu: I would never be near children.
Luo Binghe: Get rid of two kids.

Chapter 7

<GENERAL CHAT>

<12:54>

 

Shen Yuan: Hello @Everyone

   Ive put a filter and alarm system on @Shen Qingqiu ‘s account

      Tell me if I don’t get alarmed when he says something

         Ill fix it

 

Shen Qingqiu: Im not a child I don’t need this

 

Shen Yuan: Your body has only been alive for a few days

   You are a child and need this system desperately

 

Shang Qinghua: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Luo Binghe: EAT SHIT LOSERRRRR

 

Liu Qingge: GET HIS ASS A-YUAN

 

Shen Qingqiu: I hope you qi-devastate

-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Shen Qingqiu: What

 

Shen Yuan: Behave (◕‿◕)

   I put you back on this world and I can take you back out

 

Yue Qingyuan: Im sure that’s!

   Not needed!

 

Qi Qingqi: Kill the bitch

-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Shen Yuan: Please don’t piss him off more its annoying

 

Shen Qingqiu: Im sure you can deal with it

 

Shen Yuan: I don’t have to :)

   Considering I have taken over the peak and you don’t want to take back over that role

      I will force you to move out do not test me further

 

Yue Qingyuan: Ill take you if he does Xiao Jiu!!

 

Shen Qingqiu: When Yue Qingyuan just said convinced me to stay

 

Yue Qingyuan: You don’t have to call me by my name every time…

 

Shen Qingqiu: It annoys you so im going to keep doing it thanks

 

Shen Yuan: UGHHHHH

   That’s it im leaving for a bit

      @Luo Binghe Expect me to be there soon

         @Liu Qingge Grab your sword I don’t have my own yet and bring me

 

Shang Qinghua: and me (°▽°)

 

Shen yuan: Knowing you, you’re already there waiting for me

 

Shang Qinghua: Ding ding ding!!!

   You got it right!

 

Luo Binghe: I am patiently waiting near the gates :D

 

Liu Qingge: …Ill hurry up

 

Luo Binghe: Good

   I want hugs and cuddles

      The rat will not suffice

 

Shang Qinghua: Hey!

   That’s fair I also want yuan-yuan cuddles

 

Shen Yuan: NEVER call me that again

 

Shang Qinghua: don’t text and fly Yuan-Yuan!

 

Shen Yuan: IM NOT FLYING LIU QINGGE IS

   AND DON’T CALL ME YUAN-YUAN

 

Shang Qinghua: fineee

   Be here soon bro!

 

Shen Yuan: yeah yeah it wont be long

   I know what you’re going to ask and yes, the ice demon is allowed to join

 

Shang Qinghua: YESSSSS

   @Mobei-Jun   @Mobei-Jun   @Mobei-Jun  

 

Mobei-Jun: Im on my way

   ( ˘⌣˘)♡

Notes:

This one was a little late whoops, ignore that

Chapter 8

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Yue Qingyuan>

 

Yue Qingyuan: Xiao Jiu, please don’t ignore me

   We need to talk

      Its important you cant keep ignoring me

 

Shen Qingqiu: How about I do anyways?

   I don’t give a singular ****

      …

         ****

            God damnnit

 

Yue Qingyuan: Please lets just talk

 

Shen Qingqiu: I don’t wajirjfdeirohfrh

 

Yue Qingyuan: Xiao Jiu???

 

Shen Qingqiu: Fine, if I must. It’s for the best that this gets resolved as soon as possible.

 

Yue Qingyuan: Shen Yuan?

 

Shen Qingqiu: Is it that noticeable?

 

Yue Qingyuan: to most? No

   To me? Yes

 

Shen Qingqiu: Welp

   It wont make a difference anyways im forcing him to go and talk this out

      I will supervise if I have to

 

Yue Qingyuan: ah, many thanks if you do

 

Shen Qingqiu: Im handing him the crystal again, get a time and date worked out and contact me afterwards

 

Yue Qingyuan: Once again, many thanks Shidi

 

Shen Qingqiu: :D

   I hate this

 

Yue Qingyuan: it seems my hands are tied Xiao Jiu

 

Shen Qingqiu: BULL SH*T

   You are a sect leader, control your underlings

 

Yue Qingyuan: Considering you are one of those, I am doing just that :D

   I say this needs to be resolved as soon as possible, so does tomorrow at 1 PM work for you?

 

Shen Qingqiu:

   (Damn I did not need to know how this man looks flustered)

      SHUT UP

 

Yue Qingyuan: I assume A-Yuan again?

 

Shen Qingqiu: who else?

 

Yue Qingyuan: Right. Tell Xiao Jiu to meet me at my peak at 1 PM tomorrow then

   Drag him along if you have to

 

Shen Qingqiu: ofcourse! Ill make sure he comes along, willingly is another thing but ill make sure it happens :D

   Go **** Yourself

Notes:

Bit of info on the block Shen Yuan put on Shen Jiu, In public chats he gets informed of any insults to anyone and he can choose to engage or leave it. swearing is always fully censored with **** but Shen Jiu sometimes gets around it with just one * in the middle of the word like F*ck

Also got hit by a car lol and typing kinda hurts so im changing it to once a week, also the reason this chapter was so short :(

Chapter 9

<General chat>

<16:21>

 

Shen Qingqiu: Shen Yuan is keeping my peak.

 

Shen Yuan: WHOOOOOO

   Ahem

      Many thanks Shen-Shidi

 

Luo Binghe: So I can keep calling you shizun :D

 

Shen Qingqiu: No. you can not

 

Shen Yuan: …Considering Shen Qingqiu was also your shizun for a while he isn’t allowing it

 

Luo Binghe: A-Yuan then :D

 

Shen Yuan: That’s… Good

 

Liu Qingge: A-Yuan I have a problem

   I need to stab something

 

Luo Binghe: DON’T STAB A-YUAN

   YOU BITCH

 

Liu Qingge: I just realized how that came across

   *I need your knowledge so I know what creature I can stab without problems

 

Shen Yuan: …

 

Liu Qingge: … something I can stab with minor problems, I need thrills please

 

Shen Yuan: Ill be there, don’t die before I do

 

Shang Qinghua: Man its so weird seeing you talk more like… you in the general chat

 

Luo Binghe: YOU KNEW??????

 

Liu Qingge: WHAT THE FUCK

 

Shang Qinghua: Shit my bad

   Yea I knew lol

      I mean we are in similar situations

 

Shen Yuan: don’t you dare compare your situation to mine you HACK

 

Shang Qinghua: You’re right

   Mine is worse

 

Shen Yuan: I had to be forced into the body of a man everyone hated???

   Nobody even knows your character exists

      REMEMBER MY OG FATE YOU FUCKING SHIT AUTHOR

 

Shang Qinghua: Fair but consider

   Having to inhabit this body since childhood

      I still don’t know why YOU didn’t have to do that

         Wait… can i… @SYSTEM

 

SYSTEM: GREETINGS, WHAT IS YOUR INQUIRY

 

Shang Qinghua: Why did A-Yuan not have to live through the entire life of Shen Qingqiu?

 

Shen Qingqiu: I hate that that is even an option

 

SYSTEM: OFCOURSE USER 01

   USER 02 WAS NOT TRANSMIGRATED INTO CHARACTER SHEN QINGQIU’S BODY DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SURVIVE THE CIRCUMSTANCES DUE TO HIS STANDING IN HIS PAST
   LIFE

      THIS SYSTEM HOPES THIS ANSWER IS SATISFACTORY

-THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED-

 

Shen Yuan: …ouch

 

Shang Qinghua: HEHHAHEHHEHEHSHA HELP

 

Shen Yuan:

--> SYSTEM: OFCOURSE USER 01

@SYSTEM please delete that message string, many thanks

 

SYSTEM: OFCOURSE USER 02

 

Shang Qinghua: Awww does the trust fund baby doesn’t want to admit he is one?

 

Shen Yuan: Shut up.

 

Shang Qinghua: cold bro

 

Luo Binghe: im… so confused

   Whats a trust fund baby?

 

Shen Yuan: @Liu_Qingge im taking a small detour

 

Shang Qinghua: WAIT FUCK

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Shen Yuan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Luo Binghe?
Luo Binghe (Learnt some from Shen Yuan): Probably “road work ahead”.
Liu Qingge: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

 

Shang Qinghua: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Liu Qingge: Nope, absolutely not.
Mu Qingfang: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Shen Jiu: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Shen Yuan: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Luo Binghe: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Chapter 10

Notes:

We just hit 200 Kudos and im literally vibrating in my seat out of excitement, thank you all so much, have a few texts based of incorrect quotes because ive grown addicted.

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Qingqiu + Shang Qinghua>

 

Shang Qinghua: We have a problem.

 

Shen Yuan: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

 

Shang Qinghua: Im HURT

 

Shen Yuan: …Whats the problem

 

Shang Qinghua: So you remember that one temple from chapter 93 of PIDW right?

 

Shen Yuan: Of course I do im not a fake fa…. You’re stuck there aren’t you

 

Shang Qinghua: Please come save me the walls are closing in and im all alone

 

Shen Yuan: Sure ill save you

 

Shang Qinghua: …that was too easy

   Whats the catch

 

Shen Yuan: Im bringing company :)

 

Shang Qinghua: …What company are we talking about…

 

Shen Yuan: 2 demon lords

 

Shang Qinghua: FUCK

   Can you ask them to play nice ( ౦ - ౦ : )

 

Shen Yuan: Awww you think I can stop them

 

Shang Qinghua: My love, my dear, my babes

   Please save me  o(TヘTo)

 

Shen Yuan: …Ill make sure they behave

 

Shang Qinghua: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 

Shen Yuan: omw

 

---------------------------------------------------------

 

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

Shen Qingqiu: ARE YOU-

 

Shang Qinghua: Fucking.

 

Shen Qingqiu: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

 

Shang Qinghua: Fucking.

 

Shen Qinghua: IDIOT!

 

Yue Qingyuan: …What was that?

 

Shang Qinghua: Shen Yuan banned Shen Qingqiu from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

   Under threat of my own life but still

 

Mu Qingfang: Its like you want to end up back here

 

Shang Qinghua: Actually, Im pretty save right now

   In the loving arms of A-Yuan :D

     

Mobei-Jun: Oh, alright

   Please tell me where you are next time I was worried.

 

Shang Qinghua: Ill still be there at the usual time my king!!

 

Mobei-Jun: I didn’t expect otherwise do not worry.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Yuan + Liu Qingge>

 

 

Shen Yuan: I get that you’re disappointed but Liu-Shidi

   what did you think a tiger shark was?

 

Liu Qingge: FUN

   NOT… THAT

 

Shen Yuan: I at least had fun

 

Liu Qingge: …I suddenly also had fun

 

Shen Yuan: Theres no need to lie for me

   Ill find something fun to stab next time

 

Liu Qingge: Everyday, my love for you grows

 

Shen Yuan: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM??

   WAiT NO THAT CAME OUT WRONG

      I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH YOU ARE VERY DEAR TO ME

 

Liu Qingge: I am in absolute love

 

Shen Yuan: You’re on your peak right?

   Come over here I need to show my affection

 

Liu Qingge: Flying over rn!!!

Notes:

Shen Yuan: The floor is lava!
Yue Qingyuan: *helps Shen Jiu onto the counter*
Luo Binghe: *kicks Shang Qinghua off the sofa*
Liu Qingge: *lays on the floor*
Shen Yuan: ...Are you okay?
Liu Qingge: No.

Chapter 11

Notes:

Shhhh this was posted on time i promise

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shang Qinghua + Mu Qingfang>

 

Shang Qinghua: Heyyy

   Guess what you’re about to gettt

 

Mu Qingfang: on my nerves?

 

Shang Qinghua: Yup lol

   Have a bed ready plzz

 

Mu Qingfang: How bad on a scale of 1 to 10

   1 being a bad bruise

      10 being dead

 

Shang Qinghua: im not great with those scale thingsss

 

Mu Qingfang: 5 being several broken bones

   8 being half dead

 

Shang Qinghua: Uhhh like a 7

   Only 1/4 dead yk

 

Mu Qingfang: Yup that’s about what I expected from you

 

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

Mu Qingfang: @Everyone

   Shang Qinghua is currently gravely injured and is on bed rest for 2 weeks.

      If he asks you to help him escape ignore his pleas

         I am a medical professional currently on their last fuck to give and will make that broken
         bone hurt more to heal

 

Liu Qingge: Noted

 

Shen Yuan: Wasn’t planning on helping but thanks for giving me a reason to decline

 

Shang Qinghua: BRO WHY

   I TRusTED YOU

 

Shen Yuan: Worst choice of your second life

 

Shang Qinghua: :(

   I have been betrayed by my own lover

      How will I ever recover

 

Shen Yuan: You’ll live

 

Mobei-Jun: I would like to mention that Shen Yuan is sitting in the bed next to Shang Qinghua, possibly more worried than me.

 

Shen Yuan: TRAITOR

 

Mobei-Jun: I am not loyal to you

   I am loyal to my husband

      My husband you are currently blocking my view of

 

Shen Yuan: Should have gotten here faster then

   Also my husband btw!!

 

Mobei-Jun: Move your ass

 

Shen Yuan: Fuck no

 

Shang Qinghua: The girls are fightinggggg

 

Mu Qingfang: not in my infirmary

 

Luo Binghe: A-Yuan Ill save you!

 

Shang Qinghua: Its somehow a balanced fight?

   I was so sure my king would overpower him

 

Shen Jiu: He had to learn at least something pretending to be me

 

Shang Qinghua: I know but like…

   Its Shen Yuan vs a literal demon lord???

      I feel like the winner is obvious here?

 

Luo Binghe: It’s a-Yuan

   The winner is obvious

      Almost there for support btw

 

Shang Qinghua: …For once

   I don’t think he needs it…

 

Luo Binghe: …Damn

   Im strangely attracted to this

 

Mu Qingfang: Keep it in your pants until he leaves please

   @Yue_Qingyuan @Liu_Qingge please get the fighting demon and peek lord out of my infirmary

      They are scaring the disciples

 

Liu Qingge: Why me? I have no authority here

 

Mu Qingfang: War god.

 

Liu Qingge: ???

 

Yue Qingyuan: Ill be there

 

Liu Qingge: Why am I needed?

 

Yue Qingyuan: You are our best fighter, I assume that’s why

 

Liu Qingge: surely it cant be that bad?

   …I take it back

      I am in fact, highly attracted to this

 

Mu Qingfang: You’re useless

 

Yue Qingyuan: Ill get them out…

 

Mu Qingfang: Hurry it up, my last fuck just about ran out

Notes:

Was thinking about taking this of anon but then I remembered my friends are subscribed to my ao3 account and will see this sooooo

Shang Qinghua: Hey, if you type in your password, it'll show in stars.
Shang Qinghua: ********* see!
Mobei-Jun: hunter2
Mobei-Jun: Doesn't look like stars to me.
Shang Qinghua: Mobei-Jun: *******
Shang Qinghua: That's what I see.
Mobei-Jun: Oh, really?
Shang Qinghua: Absolutely.
Mobei-Jun: You can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2.
Mobei-Jun: Haha, does that look funny to you?
Shang Qinghua: Lol, yes. See when YOU type hunter2, it shows it to us as *******
Mobei-Jun: That's cool. I didn't know this site did that.
Shang Qinghua: Yup. No matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
Mobei-Jun: Awesome.
Mobei-Jun: Wait, how do you know my password?
Shang Qinghua: Er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause it's your password.
Mobei-Jun: Oh, ok.

Chapter 12

Notes:

Whoops sorry for not updating for a while. I just have no clue where to take this fic. Like at all. If you have any ideas please comment since I'm all out :(

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

Yue Qingyuan: guys I know you're worried about Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua but please get back to work.
   Can't believe I'm saying this but Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun were doing a good job at ruling before this

 

Shen Jiu: You speak like you wouldn't do the same if I got hurt

 

Yue Qingyuan: the difference is that I have peak lords that can take over for an amount of time

   The demon realm has NOTHING.

 

Shen Yuan: I know, but I can't get this dumbass to leave and do his job

 

Luo Binghe: but I'm not the only one here :(

   Why isn't Liu Qingge being bullied:(

 

Liu Qingge: because I, unlike you, have disciples that can take my place and train newer ones

 

Shen Jiu: you turn up like once a month to beat the little brats up

   I would hardly call that training you brainless oaf

 

Liu Qingge: LIKE YOUR TRAINING WAS ANY BETTER??

 

Shen Jiu: At least mine were educated instead of being brainless dumb***es that charge at anything that moves

 

Yue Qingyuan: don't mind him he's just annoyed he has to take over Shen Yuan's tasks

 

Shen Jiu: when he gets back he is dead.

 

Liu Qingge: No.

 

Shen Jiu: I decline your no

 

Luo Binghe: No.

 

Shen Jiu: I'm not afraid of you little beast

   …I have been informed to hold back

      Consider yourselves lucky

 

 Shang Qinghua: damnnn what did the sect leader sayyy

 

Yue Qingyuan: Nothing that you should concern yourself with

 

 Mu Qingfang: don't mind him he's still under the influence of multiple medicines

   And about to be put back to sleep

      At least the other one is behaving

 

Shang Qinghua: awwwww :(

Notes:

Shen Jiu: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Chapter 13

Notes:

HEYYY sorry for not updating for... 4 months damn. I just didn't have any motivation to write lol

I won't go back to regular updates but maybe sometimes I'll add a new chapter, as a treat.

<General chat>

 

Shen Yuan: IM FREEEEE

 

Mu Qingfang: Please don’t come back for at least a week.

   That may be too much to ask…

      Don’t come back for at least a day please?

 

Shen Yuan: Mildly insulting but fair!

   Ill try my best!

 

Shang Qinghua: This is personality theft

   I thought I was the clinical problem child :(

 

Shen Yuan: …Did you just…

   Entirely forget about my first life?

 

Shang Qinghua: …I may have entirely forgotten yes

 

Luo Binghe: A-Yuan never told me about his first life!

 

Shen Yuan: Theres not much to say

   It was honestly kinda boring LOL

 

Luo Binghe: Nothing about my husband could ever be boring

 

Shen Yuan: Nah it was genuinely boring

   I was just sick all the time and died at like 20 due to… uhhh

      Food poisoning I think?

         Man that was long ago

 

Shang Qinghua: You forgot the part where you were a trust fund baby

 

Shen Yuan: Fuck you too!

 

<PERSONAL CHAT: Shen Yuan + Shang Qinghua>

 

 

Shang Qinghua: LMAO when

 

Shen Yuan: Ugh whore

 

Shang Qinghua: Your whore <3

 

Shen Yuan: Whatever

   I have time today

 

Shang Qinghua: HELL YEAH BABY

 

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

Yue Qingyuan: Why did they just leave in the middle of the conversation?

Shen Jiu: To **** obviously

 

Liu Qingge: to hunt?

   Can I join?

 

Shen Jiu: You think those 2 idiots could take down any monster???

 

Liu Qingge: Shang Qinghua? No

   Shen Yuan? Absolutely

      You weren’t at the Shen Yuan VS Mobei-Jun fight

         For a small, adorable munchkin he can kick so much ass

 

Shen Jiu: Ew

   I don’t want to know more about this

      From you at least

 

Yue Qingyuan: We never did get an explanation on what a trust fund baby was

 

Shen Jiu: You definitely aren’t getting an answer for a while

 

Liu Qingge: Why?

 

Shen Jiu: They’re obviously *******

   I hate this ******* filter

 

Yue Qingyuan: …Fucking?

 

Shen Jiu: YES

 

Liu Qingge: …ill be absent for the next few hours

   If anyone needs anything don’t contact me

 

Shen Jiu: Ew

 

Yue Qingyuan: Did you not wish for this to happen?

 

Shen Jiu: **** no

   I may joke to annoy but I didn’t need to know that

      That’s disgusting

Qi Qingqi: At least you’re aware of how much of an ass you are

 

Shen Jiu: Awww thank you I try

Notes:

Shang Qinghua: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.
Shang Qinghua: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Chapter 14

Notes:

Hi can whatever demon that has cursed my family please stop Im nearing my exams and need to do well :(

<GENERAL CHAT>

 

 

Qi Qingqi: SHEN JIU YOU ABSOLUTE MANWHORE

   COME OUT AND FACE ME YOU FUCKING COWARD

 

Shen Jiu: Every single one of you peak lords are horrid at finding accurate insults

 

Qi Qingqi: I don’t give a single fuck if its accurate

   Fuck you

 

Luo Binghe: Yeah I hope you suffer a slow and painful death

 

Qi Qingqi: You’re not even involved in this???

 

Luo Binghe: I don’t care what he did, he deserves it

 

Shen Jiu: Shut up *****

   WHY IS ***** CENSORED WTF

 

Shen Yuan: The filter wasn’t made to stop you from cursing, it was made to stop you from insulting everyone

   It seems it needs some adjustments

      Give me a few seconds

 

Qi Qingqi: GET ABSOLUTELY ****** *******

   WHAT THE ****

 

Shen Yuan: Please refer to my earlier message as to why ive decided to apply it to you aswell

 

Yue Qingyuan: @Qi_Qingqi may I ask why you were upset?

 

Qi Qingqi: That ***** decided it was a good idea to, unprompted, SHOVE ME INTO MUDDY SWAMP WATER

 

Yue Qingyuan: Im certain it wasn’t completely unprompted?

 

Shen Jiu: it was absolutely unprompted

   Most fun ive had in weeks

 

Qi Qingqi: YOU ******* *****

 

USER Qi_Qingqi HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 2 HOURS

USER Shen_Jiu HAS BEEN MUTED FOR 2 HOURS

 

Shen Yuan: ah, blissful silence

 

<GROUPCHAT: The many husbands of Shen Qingqiu>

 

 

Demon husband: JEHBHJGBYAJGYHAHEVAHIUILOVEHIM

 

Aggressive husband: We haven’t used this chat in weeks

   Leave it like that

 

Demon husband: But A-Yuan…

 

Pathetic husband: Im still shocked at how easily you moved on from ‘Shizun’

 

Demon husband: A-Yuan likes hearing his name

   He smiles whenever I call him by his name

 

Aggressive husband: Fucking sap

 

Demon husband: Remind me who fought me every day for 5 WHOLE YEARS??

 

Aggressive husband: Maybe you should have just GIVEN ME HIS BODY??

 

Demon husband: >:(

   Nuh uh

 

Aggressive husband: The fuck does that mean???

 

Pathetic husband: Hey I taught you that!

 

Aggressive husband: You two… tolerate each other???

 

Demon husband: I have to

   Despite his general… himness

      He is (unfortunately) an important political figure in the demon realm

 

Pathetic husband: Youre being nicer to my by the week!

   One day ill truly be loved!

 

Demon husband: Its great to have dreams

 

Pathetic husband: :(

 

<Pathetic husband HAS CHANGED USER Demon husband TO :Mean husband>

 

Mean husband: Fuck you you little shitstained rat

 

<Mean husband HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO: #1 husband>

 

Aggressive husband: Die

   You suck change it

 

#1 husband: Ughh fine

 

<#1 husband HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO: Desperate husband>

 

Desperate husband: Happy?

 

Aggressive husband: Its… passable

 

Desperate husband: Good

 

Pathetic husband: Look at us getting along :D

 

Aggressive husband: Die

 

Desperate husband: Die

 

Pathetic husband: …Ouch

Notes:

Shen Yuan: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.
Shang Qinghua: No, go ahead. I want to hear it.
Shen Yuan: It sucks.
Shang Qinghua: That's not constructive criticism.