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"Legally, you can't laugh at me." Midoriya stated, narrowing his eyes at Nezu as he shook from the effort of holding in his chuckles.
"I'm afraid, Midoriya-Kun, that your legal knowledge is slightly flawed." He responded, giggling into his teacup.
Scowling playfully, Midoriya subtly flipped the mammal off. Of course, Nezu noticed immediately, merely smiling in response. The principal took a sip from his cup, allowing the silence to carry on for a moment before opening his mouth to speak.
“So, Midoriya-Kun,” The student interrupted him.
“Please, drop the honourifics.”
Nodding respectfully, Nezu continued. “Midoriya, how are you finding your classes?”
“They’re quite something.” He admitted, looking down at his hands. (They were no longer held in the rude gesture.)
Nezu seemed to struggle with his next words. “How.. How are you holding up after the USJ?”
Midoriya gulped. “A-As good as I can be, I suppose. I mean, It’s not every day that you get told by an almost stranger that they’ve thought about kidnapping you.”
Nezu winced empathetically in response.
“I’d like to make you aware that therapy is available to you at no cost, and if you ever need to talk to someone, I’ll always be here for you.”
The student smiled weakly. “Is it okay if we change the subject?”
The principal nodded, leaning forwards, and clasping his paws in a way that told Midoriya he was about to receive an offer.
“Now, Midoriya, I have a proposition for you.”
Raising an eyebrow in interest, Midoriya raised his gaze to meet Nezu’s own. His posture shifted to a more serious position and a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes.
“Oh?”
“How would you feel,” Nezu paused for dramatic effect, “If I asked you to become my personal student?”
A wide smile spread across Midoriya’s features; cheshire cat-like in nature.
“I would feel rather honoured, and would probably offer you this beef jerky I have in my bag.” He replied nonchalantly, indicating to his backpack on the floor.
Nezu hastily climbed over the desk to look at the aforementioned food, glancing between the bag and the boy.
Nudging his backpack closer to the principal, Midoriya watched as Nezu struggled with the zip briefly before tearing it open and victoriously pulling out the meat, an animalistic grin plastered on his face.
He trotted around the table, jumping back into his chair. (Midoriya attempted to ignore the way his hind legs scratched the fabric in a desperate search for enough leverage to get him properly seated.)
Opening a drawer in his desk (That already contained a set of adoption papers for the teenager ‘Just in case'.) and sliding his reward into it, Nezu turned his attention back to Midoriya.
“Whilst I don’t mind the light bribery, I must say it wasn’t required.”
Midoriya shrugged; it wasn’t meant to be bribery, just a simple gift as a ‘thank you’.
“Can I ask what kind of stuff we’ll be doing?”
“Of course! It’s just the occasional lesson with me about an advanced version of the curriculum, most likely after school. You won’t be in any trouble if you miss them, and if you would like to quit at any time I completely understand.”
Midoriya nodded along thoughtfully.
“That sounds great. When would we start?”
“Whenever you’d like!”
Pausing for a second to think, Midoriya made his decision.
“Would tomorrow be okay?”
Nezu smiled kindly, gently placing his paw over Midoriya’s hand and giving it a pat.
“That sounds great. Now, I believe it’s time for your lesson with Shinsou-San, you wouldn’t want to miss that now, would you?”
Blushing furiously, Midoriya picked up his bag and practically ran out of the room without so much as a goodbye.
Walking home, Midoriya thought, was one of the most fucking exhausting yet relieving experiences ever. Exhausting because he'd had to deal with all the shit at school, and relieving because he had fuck all to do once he got home.
He sighed deeply, and was about to take his first step out of the building when a hand gently grabbed his shoulder.
Midoriya most certainly didn't squeak, and he definitely didn't accidently punch the person in the face.
Upon recognising the person, he swore loudly, pulling the boy under his arm.
"Fuck Shinsou-San! I'm so sorry!"
Shinsou held his nose with a pained expression, forcing a fake smile onto his face.
"It's okay, Midoriya-San, I shouldn't have surprised you."
The student raised a disbelieving eyebrow and patted down his pockets for anything that could stop the blood that was leaking from the other's face.
To his complete surprise he found a packet of tissues that Nezu had doubtlessly managed to slip into his uniform without him noticing. He rolled his eyes and hastily pulled a few out, practically shoving them at Shinsou.
"I-is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" He asked, rather desperately.
Graciously accepting the tissues, Shinsou stayed silent for a moment in a vague attempt at trying to formulate a coherent sentence.
"Seriously, Midoriya-San, don't worry about it. You've been through a pretty shit experience and reacted accordingly…" He trailed off as he looked at Midoriya’s guilt-ridden expression.
"...But if you're gonna continue to blame yourself unless you do something for me, how about you accompany me to this cat cafe nearby? I'll be paying, of course."
Well shit, that sounded pretty fucking appealing to Midoriya.
Cats and Shinsou? Yes fucking please.
What could go wrong?
So much could go wrong, it turns out. Really, it was Midoriya's fault for tempting the fates.
The totally-not-a-date had started pretty well, really well actually, and Midoriya was mere seconds away from asking the student what his favourite dinosaur was; the ultimate friendship question when he'd made eye contact with the diplodocus murderer himself: Tomura fucking Shigaraki.
"Shit, shit, shit!" He hissed, glaring holes into the table.
Shinsou furrowed his brow in concern, gently resting his hand on Midoriya’s.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to alarm you," Midoriya murmured, voice low, "But one of the guys from the USJ is over there."
Shinsou's eyes widened, "Fuck!"
Risking a glance up in the direction of the villain, Midoriya saw the other man's gaze trained on him.
"If I pass you my phone, would you be able to message the contact called Bastard Rat Overlord?"
Shinsou nodded; if the situation were any less dire he would've either laughed at the name or asked why the fuck Midoriya wanted him to message someone with an insult as their saved title.
"When I distract him, get out as fast as you can, okay, Shinsou-San?"
The boy nodded before Midoriya’s words set in.
"Distract him? Doesn't he want to kidnap you or something?!"
Midoriya shrugged, "Hopefully he's gotten over that." He replied.
With a deep inhale, he hesitantly made his way over to Shigaraki, painfully aware that if anything went wrong, he'd almost definitely end up humiliating himself in front of his crush.
(Or accidently traumatising him, but both were equally bad.)