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It’s a quarter to seven in the morning, and the Eurostar to Brussels is finally boarding. 5up is annoyingly chipper, calling out the platform number they were assigned, and telling them to get up and get moving.
Apollo grumbles, but manages to push himself up to standing. The rest of the group isn’t faring much better. Steve is looking at 5up as though he’s not understood a single word that 5up said. Hafu is draped over her bag and David’s lap, and she looks to be asleep. David himself has his arms wrapped around Hafu, and his head is resting on the back of her shoulder. He yawns, and Apollo asks himself how on earth 5up is the one that’s properly awake right now. 5up, the man that shows up late to every lobby before noon, is the one that’s cheerfully shouting “Platform five everyone. Let’s get going before they leave without us.”
5up steps around Steve and shakes Hafu awake, before offering a hand to pull both her and David up from where they were sitting on the floor. Apollo thinks that maybe in this case it’s a small blessing that the Eurostar terminal is way too small for the amount of people that need to be in it, because if they would have been in a chair, they wouldn’t even have had the prospect of a nice and soft train seat to lure them into standing.
“Let’s go. Platform five,” 5up repeats. Apollo offers Steve a hand, and by the time most of the crowd has made their way up the travelator, their little group is joining the queue.
Steve stretches, and moans when his spine cracks loudly. “Why are you so fucking awake, 5up?“ he demands.
“Time zones,” 5up responds. “It’s only eleven at home. I can’t help it that you old people go to bed before midnight.”
“Excuse you, it’s past midnight in Austin,” Apollo protests half heartedly.
“True,” 5up grins. “You’re excused.”
It’s still dark as they walk past the train. 5up motions towards one of the coaches. “Number 11, this is us. We’ve got seats 43 through 47.” He waits until everyone has boarded, before stepping onto the train himself.
Seats 45 through 47 are three of four seats around a little table, and seats 43 and 44 are just two regular seats. By the time Apollo makes it to their seats, Hafu and David have already plopped down on two of the table seats, and Steve is looking out the window from seat number 43. Whilst Apollo stows his backpack in the overhead compartment, 5up pushes past him, and sits down opposite David.
"Sorry," 5up apologises when Apollo has to grab a headrest to stop himself from falling over.
"No worries," Apollo responds mechanically. He doesn't mind sitting next to Steve, and he's too tired to think about why 5up would prefer to sit with Hafu and David. It's probably nothing anyway.
Apollo shrugs and takes off his coat. He puts in his earbuds and sits down in the chair, which is indeed much more comfortable than the Eurostar lobby floor, especially when he finds out he can recline it ever so slightly.
A few minutes later, the train leaves. The constant humming and other train noises, along with his music and the city lights shooting by the windows are hypnotising, and slowly, Apollo nods off.
Just before he well and truly falls asleep, he hears Steve's voice.
"Hey buddy," Steve whispers. When Apollo hums in response, Steve goes on. "You're going to hurt your neck like this."
Apollo frowns, and simultaneously realises that his head is on Steve's shoulder. "Sorry," he says, and he sits up.
"No, no worries, honey," Steve whispers. He rummages around in his bag, takes out a scarf, and fashions it into a little pillow that he places on his shoulder. "I just don't want you to be cranky the rest of the day when your little neck is aching."
Apollo makes a face at him, but snuggles the makeshift pillow gratefully. It is much more comfortable. "I can't believe you brought a scarf, man," he teases sleepily. "You've turned into such a Cali boy."
"Shut up and go to sleep," Steve says, and he wraps an arm around Apollo.
"Ok ok ok," Apollo mumbles, and he drifts off in no time.
-
Brussels is charming, Apollo thinks. The metro is old, loud and rackety. The streets are cobbled. The buildings are not tall, but they're splendidly decorated, and there’s a range of architectural styles that Apollo recognises, even though he can’t put a name to them. The city feels small, but despite that, there’s an abundance of languages spoken around them. There’s French, of course, but Apollo also recognises Spanish, German, English and what he thinks is Italian, and there’s a bunch of different speech that he doesn’t know.
The streets have been decorated for Christmas with a metric fuckton of lights and a bunch of (presumably fake) foliage, spotted with Christmas baubles. There’s signposting that points towards Brussels’ major tourist attractions, as well as temporary wooden signs directing visitors to the different spots hosting part of the Christmas market. It smells faintly of waffles, courtesy of a constant stream of people eating waffles either on the go, or in one of the many heated outside seating areas. It also smells of chocolate, which is because there is a truly insane amount of chocolate shops in Brussels. They range from high end chocolatiers to touristy shops filled to the brim with chocolate everything, and all of their windows display the most garish winter scenes either prominently featuring chocolate or entirely made out of chocolate.
The Christmas market itself is spread out across the entire city, the stalls mostly divided over several squares. As always, Hafu takes the lead, and she navigates them to the first square: the Bourse. There’s a big building that used to house the Brussels stock exchange, surrounded by wooden chalets, stands, and food trucks.
“Well, let’s dive in,” Hafu says, and they approach the stalls. There’s many options to choose from, and it takes barely any time at all for everyone to realise that perusing the stalls all together is not going to work. Hafu spends way too long at a jewellery stand, before moving on to yet another jewellery stand. 5up strikes up a long conversation about food with some lady selling Eastern European delicacies. Steve turns over every product at the candy stall on his quest to buy Koji some vegan chocolate. David looks absolutely enraptured staring at stained-glass-style candle holders, and Apollo is simply overwhelmed.
“Maybe we should split up into two groups and meet back up at the main square for lunch?” Hafu proposes.
“Team Vegas and team not-Vegas,” 5up pipes up immediately, and he curls his hand around David’s bicep.
“Babe, you live in L.A. now,” Hafu admonishes.
“But I used to live in Vegas, which means I get to choose. And I choose jewellery and decoration over candy stalls,” 5up declares.
“Fine by me,” Steve huffs. “I’d prefer to eat the food, rather than spend 20 minutes talking to the owner and then leaving without buying anything.”
5up giggles, and claps his hands when Hafu sighs long-sufferingly and says “Fine. We’ll take the food snob.”
Steve laughs too. “Ok, see you later babies,” he says, wrapping his hand around Apollo’s arm. Apollo waves goodbye to Hafu, David and 5up, and they go back to browsing.
The next few hours are spent strolling, tasting, trying, window shopping, watching, searching, and actual shopping. There’s a stall selling hand carved candles and wooden jewellery that look like they belong in a fantasy world. Another stall sells paper stars with lights at the centre, which they don’t end up buying, but Steve does take a photo of the stall because it looks so nice. Another stall sells mittens, scarfs, jumpers and hats in all colours of the rainbow. Steve buys a set of bright yellow mittens, and Apollo makes fun of him, calling him a Cali boy again.
They go to the other squares too. Place de la Monnaie looks like a tiny après-ski village. Three curling rinks form the main attraction, and they’re surrounded by chalets offering typical mountain food and drink. They buy some nougat, and nibble on it whilst watching a bout of curling, before walking on to Place de Brouckère.
Place de Brouckère has an ice rink that Apollo has to convince Steve not to skate on just yet; only the promise of coming back with the others is enough to convince Steve to leave the rink for what it is and look at the stalls instead. They’re mostly food, but there are some neat ceramics, baking supplies, wooden puzzles, and tacky t-shirts.
Finally, there is Place Sainte-Catherine, which is by far the biggest and has the most chalets. There are several craft work stalls that they linger by: one selling mead and reindeer pelts, a smith that does live engravings, a talented caricaturist whose drawings people queue for, and a woodworker that sells intricate toys and decorations. Apollo falls in love with a beautiful wooden chess set on sight. He points it out to Steve, and Steve (the enabler that he is) immediately tells him to buy it.
"Excuse me," Apollo hesitantly says to the shopkeep. He points at the chess set. "How much for this?"
"Français? Nederlands?" says the man.
"Uhm, English?" Apollo tries.
The man shakes his head. "Désolé, je ne parle pas anglais. No English."
Panicking, Apollo looks at Steve for help.
"Don't look at me. I don't speak French," Steve protests half-heartedly, but when Apollo pouts, Steve steps forward anyway. "The things I do for you," he sighs, before turning towards the shop owner, pointing at the chess set and sticking up his thumb. "Oui, très bien," he says. Then he rubs his fingers together and adds "Ka-ching?"
Apollo bites his lip in an effort not to laugh, and so does the shopkeep. "Celui-là?" the man says. "Cent septante cinq euros."
"Je ne comprends pas," says Steve, ironically in the only French that Apollo understands.
The man walks over to the cash register, types in the amount, and shows it to Steve. "Cent septante cinq euros," he repeats.
"It's a hundred and seventy five euros," Steve tells Apollo. "Kind of pricey, but it makes sense for a handmade set. Do you want it?"
"Yeah," Apollo nods. A few minutes later, and a hundred and seventy five euros poorer, he's the proud owner of a wooden chess set. "Thanks," he tells Steve.
"Don't mention it," Steve says. "I'm serious, never mention this to anyone ever."
Apollo chuckles, and sticks up his thumbs. "Oui, très bien. Ka-ching," he says, and both of them burst out laughing.
"Ah well," Steve says once he has calmed down a little, "I embarrass myself in front of millions if not hundreds of people every day. I'll survive."
"You'd better," Apollo responds. "Who am I going to play chess with if not you?"
Steve smiles softly, wraps his hand back around Apollo's arm, and walks them over to the next stall.
They spend at least another hour going around the stalls. Steve manages to find several bars of vegan chocolate for Koji, as well as a box of têtes de choco for himself. They try some free samples of a local liquor called jenever, and local candy called cuberdons. They browse the socks, the bow ties, the soaps, the loose leaf teas, and the Christmas ornaments, and they look at all the gems and minerals in the cool rock shop.
"We should probably head back towards the main square," Apollo says when it's a quarter to one.
"Yeah," Steve agrees. "Hey, do you think we have time to walk by Manneken pis? I really want a picture of me and the little piss boy."
"Of course you do," Apollo snorts. "I'm sure we can take a little detour if it's not too far out of the way. We're not going to a job interview, we can be a few minutes late."
"True," says Steve. He leads them to the fountain, and makes Apollo take a picture of him and the peeing boy statue. It's a very cute picture, and Apollo may or may not put it as his phone background.
"This is fun," Steve smiles. "I'm having fun."
"Me too," says Apollo. He smiles back and holds out his arm. "Let's go find the others."
Steve once again finds his place on Apollo's arm, and together they walk towards the main square.
-
“I want waffles,” Hafu announces after they’ve found each other on the main square.
“Hi guys, did you have fun?” 5up says.
“We did,” says Steve. He cocks his head and adds “Are you asking to be polite, or do you not want waffles?”
5up grins. “I love waffles, but thanks for your concern.”
“We can’t really go to Brussels and not have a Brussels waffle,” David pipes up.
“Alright, alright,” Steve raises his hands placatingly. “Let’s get waffles.”
Hafu cheers, and after taking a few photos with the massive Christmas tree that’s on the main square, they make their way to a little cafe. 5up makes sure to sit down next to Steve, interrogating him about roaming the Christmas market with Apollo. Apollo sits in between Hafu and David, who are enthusiastically discussing what toppings they’re considering with their waffles.
When they’re handed a menu, 5up and Steve join the discussion about the toppings. 5up mostly considers the savoury options, going between raving about flavour combinations and ranting about the fact that foie gras is on the menu. Steve seems to have a preference for the sweet waffles, and he’s wondering out loud if getting a waffle with ice cream on it would be overkill in this weather.
“You have mittens, a scarf, and a hat,” Hafu says. “If anyone could handle it, it’d be you.”
“Or,” Apollo argues, “you’re the only one who needs mittens, a scarf, and a hat in this weather, so eating ice cream might actually kill you.” He coughs, and adds “Cali boy” under his voice.
“Well, now I’m going to have to get the ice cream out of spite,” Steve determines. “What are you having?”
“I don’t know,” Apollo says. “I can’t really decide.” He looks at the menu again. “This one with truffle, egg, crispy bacon, and chives sounds amazing, but so does spicy chicken with relish sauce. And there’s one with bacon, goat cheese, avocado, mushrooms, and arugula.”
“I see your problem,” Steve says. “Those all sound amazing.” After watching Apollo pour over the menu for another couple of minutes, Steve adds “Hey! I have an idea. How about I get one of those, and you get another, and then we share? That way you can try two of them.”
“Are you sure? I thought you wanted the ice cream one,” Apollo objects.
Steve shrugs. “Your options sound yummy too. And they might even be warm.”
“True,” Apollo snickers. “Ok, sure, we can share.”
“Switch places with me, Hafu,” Steve demands. “I need to sit next to Dumbdog.”
“Sure,” Hafu says, sending a look in 5up’s direction.
Apollo looks at 5up too, catching a brief glimpse of satisfaction before 5up schools his face back into a neutral expression. “Bye, Steven,” he says, and then, smiling, he adds “Hello Hafu.”
Steve plops down on the chair next to Apollo, and together they pick two waffles to share. Mere seconds after they settle on the goat cheese and arugula one, and the spicy chicken one, a waiter comes over to their table. “In which language can I take your order?” she asks.
“English, please,” says David, at the same time that Steve says “Oh, thank god.”
Apollo looks at Steve and wiggles his eyebrows. He can’t stop a grin from forming on his lips.
“Shut up, Dumbdog,” Steve threatens.
“Oui, très bien,” says Apollo, before dissolving into laughter. He keeps laughing all the way through the waiter taking their order, and Steve has to order for them both.
“Is today bully Steve day or something,” Steve pouts after Apollo tells the rest about their attempts at shopping in French in detail.
“I think it’s sweet,” Hafu smiles. “To help Apollo like that.”
“Clearly, I’m never doing that again,” Steve whines, as the rest of the group laughs at his misfortune. Apollo sobers up a little at Steve’s words. He has to admit he feels a little disappointed that Steve regrets doing something nice for him. Maybe he should stop being so mean in return.
At that moment, the waiter shows back up with their food. “Thank you,” Steve says as she places the goat cheese and arugula waffle in front of him. He immediately cuts it in two and offers Apollo the biggest piece.
“Yes. Clearly, you’re never doing that again,” 5up says, looking pointedly at the waffle exchange.
Strangely enough, Steve doesn’t have a comeback to that. He just blushes, and smiles at Apollo when Apollo offers him half of the spicy chicken waffle.
The worry and disappointment Apollo is feeling dissolve at Steve’s smile. Steve must not be angry with him, after all. He resolves to be nicer to Steve in return. “Shut up, 5up. You’re just jealous that no one is sharing a waffle with you,” he says, knocking his shoulder against Steve’s.
Steve smiles at him again. “Anytime, baby,” he says. He takes a bite of his waffle, and continues with a full mouth “Anyway, now I can guilt trip you guys into going skating on that little ice rink we saw.”
“Eat your waffle first, and then we’ll see,” Hafu says.
“Ok, mum,” Steve jokes, and he continues eating.
-
The skating rink is positively crawling with people. It’s mostly kids, ranging from toddlers pushing around seal-shaped skating aids with their parents, to teenagers that are either taking selfies and giggling constantly, or trying to look cool and aloof and like they’re having no fun at all. There are a few adults too. Apollo sees two older couples expertly weaving through the sea of people, and there’s someone who’s trying to teach their friend a couple of tricks without accidentally slashing a bystander’s throat. Then there’s a small group of hockey players shooting a puck around and ignoring the angry glances that most of the toddlers’ parents are sending their way. It’s total mayhem.
“There is absolutely no way I am setting foot on that rink,” 5up states.
Steve looks crestfallen, but he agrees with 5up. “Yeah, that’s too many people for sure. That sucks, I really wanted to skate.”
5up’s face falls too, for some reason, and David steps forward and places his hands on 5up and Steve’s shoulder. “I’m sorry boys,” he says. “We could go to the Secret Garden instead, if you wanted. They have live music.”
“Oooh,” 5up claps his hands. “That sounds like fun. I love secrets.”
“Of course you do,” Hafu admonishes playfully.
“What do you think, Steve?” Apollo asks.
“Yeah, sure.” Steve says. He still looks a little disappointed.
Apollo curls his hand around Steve’s arm, leans a little closer, and says “We can try to go skating in London. I’m sure there’s a rink somewhere.”
Steve nods. “I’d like that,” he mumbles. “Thanks, Dumbdog.”
The Secret Garden turns out to be a large courtyard situated inside the Grand Hospice, a building that used to be a shelter for the elderly, the sick and the homeless, but has since been repurposed into a culture hub. It’s essentially a large garden, filled with grass, trees, flower beds, and little gravel walkways, decorated with lamps and fairy lights. There is a little café, a petanque court, the live music that David promised, and even what looks like a mobile sauna.
Apollo points at the sauna, and says “Is anyone cold?”
Hafu sticks out her tongue, making David smile. 5up looks over his shoulder at Steve, smirks, and says “Steve?”
“Ha fucking ha,” Steve drawls. “Let’s all make fun of poor old shivery Steve.”
“Ok, fine, we’ll skip the sauna,” 5up relents.
“I could do with a hot choccy, though,” Steve says, and everyone laughs as they make their way to the little café.
Steve does end up getting hot chocolate, but he’s the only one. Hafu and 5up both get glühwein, a German traditional mulled wine, and David and Apollo opt for hot cider. Hands folded around their warm beverages, they sit down around one of the tables that have been placed in front of the café and just enjoy the atmosphere. They watch the people walk by, letting the sounds of crunching gravel, and the speech in various languages drift around their heads. They revel in the scent of chocolate, apple, and wine as they sip on their drinks, and they bask in the sun that peeks out from behind the clouds seemingly just for them.
They stay seated even after they finish their drinks. No one is speaking. All of them are lost in thought. 5up’s eyes are closed, and there’s a soft smile on his face. Hafu is also smiling, but her eyes are open, and she’s looking around the courtyard. David’s arm is curled around her, and he’s just staring off into space. Steve is looking at Apollo, something soft, yet indescribable in his eyes. When he sees Apollo look back at him, he smiles, and it warms Apollo up even more than the cider did.
Suddenly, Hafu sits up, as if she’s made a decision, and she turns towards Steve. “Do you want to dance, Steve?” she asks. She emphasises her question by swaying to the soft music that’s being played by a little classical ensemble under the large tree at the other end of the garden.
Steve looks around, and considers for a second. When he notices some more people dancing, his eyes light up. He gets up and bows theatrically, one hand behind his back, and one held up for Hafu to take. “May I have this dance, my lady,” he asks smoothly, and when Hafu places her hand in Steve’s, he punches the air in victory, and whisks Hafu away towards the patch of grass that serves as a dance floor.
Strangely enough, 5up is shooting them a murderous glare, and he keeps shooting glares even when they start dancing. Apollo is about to ask what the problem is, when David scoots closer to 5up and places a hand on 5up’s forearm. “Just let them have their fun,” he says. ”You’re going to get frown lines, if you keep glaring like that.”
Immediately, 5up schools his face into a perfectly neutral expression. Apollo snorts, and 5up turns his attention to him, face still perfectly relaxed, but eyes full of fire. “Just because I hang out with a bunch of old people, doesn’t mean I want to look like an old person myself,” he hisses, and Apollo snorts again.
“Hey, hey, hey. You guys,” says David placatingly, as he pats each of them on the shoulder. “It’s Christmas. Peace on earth and all that.”
“It’s the 29th,” 5up grumbles, but he relents, and together, the three of them watch Hafu and Steve move across the grass.
They’re quite good, Apollo thinks. Hafu moves with certainty and grace, and even hits little accents in the music with a move of her head or arm. Steve, who has tripped over his own feet on more than one occasion, is unexpectedly elegant. His posture is perfect, and he manages to lead Hafu around the grass in a convincing way, even when the both of them are talking and laughing about something.
The song ends all too soon, but after a short applause, the ensemble plays something else, and Apollo watches Steve offer Hafu his hand again. He watches Steve curl his arm around Hafu’s waist and pull her closer towards his chest. He sees the sparkle and the softness aimed at Hafu in Steve’s eyes. Apollo follows their moves with his eyes, and thinks to himself that he could watch them dance forever.
Apollo’s body has other plans, though. He feels a soft ache settling in his stomach, which usually isn’t a great sign. He closes his eyes for a moment, and begs for it to be nothing. It would be bad enough to have to spend the rest of the day on the toilet, but ruining his friends’ day trip would be even worse, which in turn makes his tummy ache worse. He presses a hand against his stomach and looks around for a toilet, just in case.
“You good, man?” David asks.
“A little stomach ache,” Apollo responds. “Hopefully it’s nothing.”
David and 5up share a look. “Do you want some water or something?” David asks, and he digs up a water bottle from his backpack.
“Thanks,” says Apollo, and they go back to watching the dancing. He can’t take his eyes off of Steve and Hafu as they glide across the floor for another dance. And another. And one more after that. “They’re quite good.” Apollo says out loud this time.
David smiles proudly. “We take classes. It’s pretty fun actually.”
“Honestly, I always thought ballroom was super lame, but they make it seem fun,” Apollo says.
“You should try it some time,” David says.
At that moment the song ends, and 5up says “My turn,” before stalking off towards Hafu and Steve. The three of them have a little conversation that ends in Steve being shooed away, and 5up dancing with Hafu.
Steve motions for one of David and Apollo to come join him on the dance floor. When neither of them do, he walks over and asks them, ignoring yet another death glare by 5up from a few metres away.
“Oh no, thanks man,” David says. “I dance with Mei Mei every week. That’s enough dancing for me. I’ll watch the bags.”
“Dumbdog?” Steve asks, and he turns those puppy dog eyes towards Apollo. “Please?”
“I have a stomach ache,” Apollo protests.
“Please?” Steve begs. “Just one song.”
“I don’t know how to dance.”
Steve grabs Apollo’s hand and drags him onto the lawn. “I’ll teach you.”
The ache in his stomach flares, but as he follows Steve, Apollo spots a sign for the toilets. It’s a mental thing: a reassurance, a safety net. Just knowing there are loos nearby calms his stomach a little. Which is good, because Steve certainly does not relent.
“It’s a waltz,” Steve says as they reach the dance floor. “I’ll teach you the box step. It’s very easy.” He holds out his left hand for Apollo to take, and places his right hand on Apollo’s back, directly under his shoulder blade.
Hesitantly Apollo places his hand in Steve’s. He’s glad that Steve’s wearing his new mittens, because he suspects his own hands are awkwardly clammy. On Steve’s instruction, he places his left hand on Steve’s shoulder.
“Ok,” Steve says shakily. “So on one you step to the back with your right foot.”
Apollo follows his instruction, and Steve puts his left foot forward and he pushes Apollo backwards a little. “On two you step to the side with your left foot, and on three, you close with your right. Make sure you put your weight on the right foot on that last step, so your left foot is free to go forwards.” Steve explains. He yanks Apollo to the side, guiding him through the steps.
“Then, we do the same thing, but the other way. You go forwards on left, to the side on right, and close with left. Like this.” This time, Steve pulls Apollo forward as he steps back. “It’s a box, you see. We make a square and end up right where we started.”
“Can you show me again?” Apollo asks, and Steve leads him through the steps again. They repeat slowly, and again, and they repeat the steps a little faster, and Apollo is pretty bad at dancing, but he’s having fun. Steve laughs every time Apollo almost trips over his feet, and he nearly cries laughing when they almost collide with an older couple
“How do you even know how to dance?” Apollo asks, as he steps on Steve’s toes for the third time.
Steve shrugs. “Back in the day, when I was in high school, all the cool people were taking ballroom classes. It was a whole thing.”
“You were a cool person in school?” Apollo asks incredulously. “There is no way.”
“Thanks, man,” Steve grins. “No, I was not a cool person. But I wanted to be cool. So if the cool people did stuff, us wannabe’s also did the stuff.”
“That checks out,” Apollo admits. “I’m glad you learnt to dance, though. This is fun.”
Steve’s face lights up with a massive smile, and his eyes sparkle. “I like it too,” he says.
“Can we try what they’re doing?” Apollo asks, pointing towards where Hafu and 5up are twirling around in a big circle.
“Sure,” Steve laughs. “That’s a Viennese waltz, and it’s really fast. But we can try it.” He offers Apollo his hand again, and together they stumble and trip across the garden, laughing as they go. And even though he doesn’t notice, Apollo’s stomach ache disappears completely.
-
“I kind of want to go on the ferris wheel,” 5up says. “Can we go back to Place Sainte-Catherine? It’s very close by.”
This time it’s Hafu that glares at 5up. “Fine. But I’m not going on; I don’t like heights.”
“Fine by me,” 5up smiles. “We can have a little ferris wheel ride with the boys.”
“Ferris wheel ride with the BOYS,” Steve parrots happily, and everyone follows 5up back to Place Sainte-Catherine.
There’s a line, of course, and it doesn’t take very long for Hafu to bow out and go back to browsing the little stalls. She manages to show back up right when they’re about to get on the ride, takes out her phone, and joins the pack of mums taking photos of their kids at the foot of the wheel. It feels very fitting.
It’s David that spots her, as he turns around to sit down in the passenger car. He waves to her, and Apollo turns to see what’s going on. When he spots Hafu, he points her out to Steve, and they all wave at each other. At that moment, 5up chooses to brusquely push past Apollo and sit himself down in the seat next to David. The ferris wheel operator closes the steel barrier and Apollo watches 5up and David move backwards and up. 5up’s expression is one of smugness, and Apollo decides that something is definitely going on. 5up has been acting weird around Steve all day, and this is the second time that he’s physically pushed Apollo out of the way just to make sure he wouldn’t have to sit next to Steve. That can’t be a coincidence.
Steve and Apollo sit down in the next empty passenger car, and Apollo is still thinking about 5up. The barrier is closed, and Steve puts his hands down upon it, and Apollo is still thinking about 5up. He really hopes that nothing is wrong. Or nothing bad, at least. The morning lobby people have become something of an extended family to him, and he doesn’t know whether he could handle it if there was a rift or anything like that.
Watching the ground disappear beneath his dangling feet, he decides to do something about it. He’ll ask 5up and Steve what’s going on. He’ll make them talk it out if he has to. It doesn’t have to be today; he’s not going to ruin their little Christmas market outing; but soon. In the meantime he’ll just try not to give 5up any chances to snub Steve.
Apollo looks over at Steve, who’s looking out over the city, the lights of the ferris wheel reflected in his eyes. He hasn’t noticed anything off about Steve throughout the day, but that doesn’t mean much, because out of 5up and Steve, Steve is definitely the better actor. Actually, Apollo thinks, as his eyes fall on Steve’s hands that are wrapped around the barrier so tightly that Apollo can see the strain even through Steve’s yellow mittens, Steve might be acting at this very moment. “Hey,” he says softly, and he bumps his shoulder into Steve’s. “Are you ok? You seem a little nervous.”
Steve smiles a strained smile. “I don’t really like heights much either,” he confesses.
“Why would you go on the ferris wheel, then?” Apollo asks.
“I don’t know. I think sometimes it’s worth doing things that scare you,” Steve shrugs. He motions his head towards the city below them, and looks Apollo in the eyes. “I mean, look at this view.”
Apollo looks around, at the sun peeking out from between the clouds as it’s setting, at the chalets and the people on the square below, at all the Christmas lights being reflected in the little pond at the foot of the ferris wheel, and back at Steve. “It is a nice view,” he smiles.
“Yeah, it is,” Steve smiles back, and he looks at Apollo in a way that makes Apollo feel that it isn’t just the city Steve’s talking about.
“You can squeeze my hand if you want,” Apollo stammers. “I mean, if it makes you feel less scared.”
“Oh. Uhm, ok,” Steve says. A slight blush appears on his cheeks, but he lets go of the barrier, and wraps his fingers around Apollo’s instead. Steve’s hand is cold, all the warmth having been sucked away by the metal of the barrier, and he squeezes quite hard, but the fabric from his mitten absorbs some of the force, so it’s not uncomfortable.
Steve drops his head onto Apollo’s shoulder for just a second, and says “Thanks.” It’s almost a whisper.
Apollo feels his own face flush. Squeezing Steve’s hand, he replies “Of course. Anytime.”
They sit quietly for the rest of the ride, letting their hands warm each other up, and enjoying the view and each other’s company.
-
“We should probably get some food, and then think about making our way back to the train station,” Hafu suggests. “Remember, we need to be there at least an hour before departure.”
The sun has fully set, and the weather is shifting. The wind has picked up a little, and thick grey clouds are rolling in. The temperature is dropping quickly, but the city is only getting cosier. All of the Christmas lights have been turned on by now, and they’re twinkling cheerfully. The brouhaha of the crowds covers the streets like a warm blanket, and the air smells like glühwein and waffles.
“You’re probably right,” says Apollo regretfully. It’s a shame they decided not to stay the night.
“I can try to find some nice restaurants,” Steve proposes, whipping out his phone.
“Actually, I thought it would be practical to just find a food stand, and get something on the go,” Hafu says. “I don’t know that we have enough time for a restaurant.”
“We could get fries,” David says. “Aren’t they like Belgium’s national food, or something?”
“Ooh, yes. We should go to that place that Angela Merkel went to once. They’re supposed to have the best frites in town,” 5up pipes up. “It’s a bit out of the way, but we could take the metro.” He takes out his phone and starts planning.
“Who’s Angela Merkel?” says Steve.
“What the fuck Steve? Angela Merkel? She was only the boss of Germany for 16 years?” Hafu says. 5up and Apollo giggle at Steve’s blank expression.
“It’s 20 minutes to get there if we take the metro from here,” 5up says. “And then another 30 to get back to Bruxelles Midi. That seems doable.”
“Steve doesn’t like fries,” Apollo speaks up.
“I can handle eating them once,” Steve says. He’s looking at Apollo with a smile on his lips, and such softness in his eyes that Apollo has to look away. He looks at 5up instead, who looks between him and Steve weirdly triumphantly, as though he’s just won a seemingly impossible 1 v 10 in Among Us.
“Or we could split up and meet back at the train station?” 5up proposes. “I’ll take Hafu and David to get frites, and you and Steve could find something else? I’m sure there’s a food stand on this Christmas market that strikes your fancy.”
“Yeah, sure,” Apollo says, and maybe he shouldn’t have, because 5up looks way too pleased at not having to spend time with Steve. Then again, Steve looks pretty happy about this turn of events, so how bad of a decision could it be?
With Hafu, David, and 5up off towards Brussels’ best fries, Steve and Apollo make their way around the chalets to look for some food that isn’t fries. It turns out to be harder than expected. Most of the food stands either sell chocolate, waffles, bite sized snacks, or fries.
“Maybe we should go back to one of the other squares?” Steve suggests. “Or maybe we can find something on the internet. There must be a map of this market somewhere online, right?”
They walk around the little church that’s at the end of Place Sainte-Catherine, and sit down on its steps. Apollo leans over and cranes his neck to get a good view of the map on Steve’s phone, when he feels something cold and wet hit him. He hisses, and Steve looks up.
“Ooh, it’s snowing,” Steve says reverently. “Now today is really perfect.”
He’s right, Apollo thinks. The snow that is fluttering down really elevates the atmosphere to something absolutely magical, and Apollo feels some of that magic settle in his chest. He holds out a hand to try and catch a snowflake, and laughs when he sees Steve is trying to do the same with his mouth.
“I don’t think snow will be a very filling meal,” he says, and laughs again when Steve giggles at his joke.
“Well, we’d better find something that will be,” Steve says, and he focusses on the interactive map again. It’s not the most user friendly website in the world, but Steve quickly finds an acceptable approach, and they look through the available food options together. Apollo hopes it won’t take too long to find something, because the cold from the church steps and the snowflakes that are steadily hitting his exposed neck and hands is seeping through. He curls his hands into fists and shoves them into his pockets, and suppresses a shiver.
“They have garnished sauerkraut at the Bourse,” Steve says. “And something called Stoemp from Brussels, which sounds very local, but looks very potato based.”
“I’m not really a big sauerkraut fan,” Apollo chatters.
“Alright, no sauerkraut then,” says Steve. At that moment, an icy gust of wind blows past them and across Apollo’s neck, and it feels as though any warmth he was still holding on to evaporates.
“M-maybe this,” Apollo points at Steve’s screen, before shivering violently.
“Which one? The Pans- Pantz- Panzerottata?” Steve holds the phone closer to his face. “Looks pretty good to me.” He frowns and looks at Apollo. “Are your teeth chattering?”
“N-no?” Apollo tries, but his body betrays him by very obviously shivering again.
“And you call me «such a Cali boy»,” Steve teases, and he laughs when Apollo flips him off shakily. “Come here, honey.” Steve takes off his scarf and wraps it around Apollo’s neck. “Let’s warm you up a little.” He rubs his hands over Apollo’s arms, and presses his leg against Apollo’s in an effort to share some of his body warmth.
“Thanks,” Apollo breathes shyly. Steve’s scarf is still warm, and it smells like him. Apollo takes a deep breath in, and leans against Steve. Steve who is so warm, and soft, and gentle. Steve who smells so good. Steve who’s holding him in his arms like Apollo is the most precious thing in all Brussels.
Apollo takes another shuddering breath, but this one isn’t because of the cold. This breath is in realisation. He blushes, and chuckles nervously, and doesn’t say why when Steve asks him. He just lets himself be held, and sits with the realisation that he’s in love with Steve. It’s so obvious, looking back. All his blushing, his stammering and his clammy hands, and even his tummy ache should have tipped him off long ago. He wasn’t getting ill. He was just falling in love.
It's a nice feeling, being in love. Apollo lets it warm him, and between it and Steve's fussing he stops shivering in no time. "Thanks," he mutters again, and he leans his head against Steve's for a moment.
"Yeah," Steve sighs. "I mean, anytime. I mean, are you up to getting some food now? That pans and otters thing sounded nice, and it's on Place de Brouckère, so not too far. And walking and some food will warm you up too, right?"
Apollo laughs at Steve's rambling. "Sounds good. Lead the way."
"I see them," Steve pipes up, and he points toward the crowd of people exiting the metro station. When Apollo spots them too, he puts up a hand and waves them over.
"Sorry, sorry," David says when they make it to where Steve and Apollo were sitting. "There was a massive queue."
"We still have 50 minutes," Steve shrugs. "It's probably fine. How were the fries?"
"So good," Hafu says. "Absolutely worth it."
"What did you guys end up having?" David asks as they rush to the Eurostar terminal.
Apollo is halfway through an answer when 5up stops dead in his tracks and looks from Apollo to Steve and back again. "Is that Steve's scarf?" he demands, and immediately everyone turns to look at Apollo.
Apollo blushes furiously. "I was cold," he says by way of an explanation.
"That's so sweet," Hafu coos.
"Shut up," Steve protests, a hint of a blush on his face.
"There's no way," 5up says gleefully, before dramatically faking a shiver. "You know what, Steve, I'm a little chilly myself."
"Well, damn, 5up. I can’t control the weather," Steve snipes back, but for some reason this only makes 5up smile even wider.
"Shut up," Steve repeats, and David steps in, the angel amongst men that he is.
"Here, take my coat," David says, and chucks said coat at 5up's face, effectively shutting him up, before changing the subject.
Amidst a heated discussion about whether French fries or Belgian fries are better, Apollo leans over towards Steve and asks "You wanna sit next to me on the train?" He's not sure if his goal is to prevent another awkward situation with 5up or if he's just using any excuse to spend more time with Steve, but no matter the reason, the bright smile Steve gives him in response tells him he made the right call.
-
Back home, Apollo waits until Koji is in the shower before he asks Steve what's going on between him and 5up. They’re sat on Koji’s couch, a cup of tea each, and a plate of biscuits on the table in front of them.
“Between me and 5up?” Steve asks, raising an eyebrow. “In what world? Nay, in what universe would I be shacking up with 5up? Like even if I were interested, which for the record, I’m not, I know for a fact that that boy has been smooching David and Hafu.”
“Oh,” Apollo says dumbly. Maybe he’s been interpreting everything all wrong. Maybe 5up hasn’t been acting mean towards Steve. Maybe 5up has just been trying to spend more time with his loves; making excuses to be alone with them whenever he can. Apollo knows how that feels. He can’t stop his eyes from flicking up to Steve’s face. “Oh,” he repeats.
“What did you think was going on?” Steve asks.
“It’s stupid,” Apollo mutters. “I thought you guys had a fight or something. I thought 5up was mad at you. Because he kept finding excuses to not have to hang out with you. He didn’t want to sit next to you on the train, or on the ferris wheel. Whenever we split up into groups, he made sure not to be on yours, and he even stopped you from dancing with Hafu. I was really worried. I’m so glad he was just trying to spend more time with Hafu and David.”
Steve laughs. “That’s so funny,” he splutters, and dabs at his eyes. “And you know what’s even funnier? You’re still wrong.”
“He wasn’t doing all that to spend more time with David and Hafu?” Apollo asks. When Steve shakes his head, Apollo adds “Then what the fuck was he up to?”
“I’m pretty sure he was trying to get us to spend more time together,” Steve says. He’s stopped laughing, and he looks down.
“What? By playing hard to get? By applying reverse psychology? The whole treat you mean, keep you keen bullshit?” Apollo rants.
Steve rubs the back of his neck, smiles, and looks back up at Apollo for a second. “No, us. Like, you and me.”
“Oh,” says Apollo again. He feels his cheeks heating up. “Why?”
“I uhm... ” Steve starts. He looks away from Apollo again, fixing his gaze on his hands, which are fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I’ve been trying to....” He takes a deep breath. “I think 5up figured out that I have a crush on you? I mean, I think I’ve been fairly obvious about the whole thing, as evidenced by 5up noticing. And you know how he is: he loves getting involved.”
“He is a scheming, drama-loving little bastard,” Apollo acknowledges.
“I’ll tell him to stop,” Steve says quietly. “I’ll stop.”
“You don’t have to,” Apollo stammers. He hesitantly wraps his hand around Steve’s wrist. “If you wanted to.... I mean, I don’t mind if you like me. I feel the same way.”
“You do?” Steve asks, and Apollo can feel Steve’s heartbeat pick up under his fingers. Both of them are blushing at this point, and Steve is looking at Apollo with big, shining, hopeful eyes.
“Yeah,” Apollo breathes. “I do.”
Steve stops fidgeting with his shirt, and moves his free hand to Apollo’s arm. Leaning a little closer, he whispers “In that case I’ll just tell 5up to stop.”
“Nu-uh,” Apollo shakes his head, before resting his forehead against Steve’s. “We’re not telling that nosy little bitch anything. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction.”
“True,” Steve breathes, and Apollo can feel the air flow against his lips. “So true. My lips are sealed.”
“Maybe unseal them, just for now,” Apollo says. Steve laughs and tilts his head, and Apollo marvels at the fact that he is going to get to kiss Steve. Today really is perfect. Heart hammering in his chest, he shifts his weight, and puts both his hands in Steve’s hair.
Mere moments before their lips touch, Koji steps back into the room and loudly says “Oops, am I interrupting something.”
“Goddamnit, Koji,” Steve says. He sits back, and Apollo already misses having him in his arms.
“Sorry,” Koji says, and he sounds a little contrite at least. “But I heard you talking about 5up, and there’s something you should know.”
“What’s that?” Steve grumbles.
“His treachery runs deeper than you know,” Koji recites.
“You’re not getting out of this by quoting The Lord of the Rings at me,” Steve says, but the sparkle in his eyes belies his words.
Koji giggles. “Sorry. I just mean I’m not surprised that 5up has been manipulating you two today of all days. So if you really don’t want to give him the satisfaction, you’ll wait at least until after midnight before you kiss.”
Apollo narrows his eyes. “Why?”
“Welllll,” says Koji, “there might be a wee little bet going on about when the two of you are getting your heads out of your arses and snogging. And 5up put his money on today.”
“There’s a what?” Apollo snaps. Beside him, Steve just bursts out laughing.
“You meddling bitches,” Steve hiccups.
“It’s quite a bit of money, too,” Koji says. “Just twenty minutes, and 5up misses out on like a thousand dollars.”
“What day did you put your money on?” Steve demands.
Koji looks a little uncomfortable and awkward, but admits “New Year’s Day.”
Steve hums, crosses his arms, and tilts his head. “If you split the money with us, we can wait to kiss until then.”
“That’s cheating,” Apollo objects.
“Yeah, and what 5up has been doing hasn’t influenced the results at all,” Steve says sarcastically. “Besides, I don’t mind cheating. And, morally, I feel like we should get the money. It’s our lives they’ve been screwing with. Don’t you want to screw with them in turn?”
“Yes,” Koji claps his hands. “It’s a win-win, Dumbdog. You get to screw 5up over, and you get some money out of it too.”
“You two are evil,” Apollo says. Then, softer, he adds “You promise you’re not going to change your mind about kissing me?”
Steve’s gaze softens, and he takes Apollo’s hand. “Not a chance, honey. I’ve been pining for months. I can wait an extra two days.”
“And what if I change my mind?”
“Then we don’t kiss. We only kiss if and when we both want to,” Steve says.
“Ok, then,” Apollo says. “Deal.” The three of them shake hands, and whilst Koji pours them another cup of tea, Apollo whispers “I’m not going to change my mind either” to Steve.
Steve smiles, and holds out his hand. “There’s nothing about cuddling in your bet, right?” He asks Koji, and when Koji says no, Steve pulls Apollo against his chest and wraps his arms around him. “Good.”
-
On New Year’s Eve, they take the tube to Trafalgar Square. They meet up with the others at the Charing Cross tube station, before finding a spot in the middle of the street right in front of Waterstones. It’s very busy, but the atmosphere is good; festive even. Ellum hands out drinks and snacks. Kimi passes little Happy New Year paper hats around. Scott gives everyone in their group slightly tipsy hugs, as well as hugging a bunch of complete strangers. Steve keeps giving Apollo shy looks, and before they know it, the year is almost over, and everyone is counting down.
At midnight exactly, the entire square hollers “Happy New Year,” and there’s some cheering and a smattering of applause. As the sound of Big Ben ringing out twelve clear strokes reaches the square, everyone turns towards the steps of the National Gallery, where the DJ is situated. The first notes of Auld Lang Syne sound, and Scott crosses his arms in front of his chest, motioning for everyone to copy him before taking Kimi’s hand in his left, and David’s in his right. Apollo crosses his arms and takes Kimi’s other hand. They smile at each other, and Kimi’s smile turns even brighter when Steve slips his hand into Apollo’s, and Apollo blushes like a school girl about it.
All around them, people are holding hands, and singing along to the song, and Apollo can’t help but join his voice with the music. There is someone playing the bagpipes fairly close, and a group of people that must be trained singers are belting the harmony, and the whole situation is giving Apollo goosebumps.
“Yeah, me too,” Steve sighs happily when he notices Apollo’s awed gaze and slightly watery eyes. He squeezes Apollo’s hand gently, and leans their shoulders together.
The song ends in a loud cheer from the audience, and as the fireworks start going off, everyone lets go of their neighbours’ hands, and starts wishing them a happy New Year. Apollo feels disproportionately disappointed when Steve lets go of his hand, but not for long. Steve uncrosses his arms, and immediately wraps them around Apollo in a hug to end all hugs. “Happy New Year,” he whispers, before burying his face in Apollo’s neck.
“You too,” Apollo stammers. He hugs back fiercely, and they stand unmoving for a long while. Apollo is aware that around them, their friends are hugging and kissing and laughing, and somewhere deep down he knows that he should wish them a Happy New Year as well, but he can’t bring himself to let go of Steve. Steve, who fits in his arms as though he was made for them. Steve, who is warm, and soft, and lovely. Steve, who makes him laugh. Steve, who makes him happier than he’s been for years. Steve, who is like the sun: happy, bright and warm, and Apollo wants nothing more than to bask in his light.
He takes a deep breath that doesn’t seem to give him enough air. He tries another one, and when it doesn’t alleviate the tightness in his chest, he wraps his arms tighter around Steve, pressing him tightly to his chest.
“Oof,” Steve giggles, and the sound gives Apollo goosebumps again.
“Sorry,” Apollo mutters. He loosens his grip slightly, and Steve leans back a little to look him in the eye. There’s a smile on Steve’s lips, that sunny warmth is in his eyes, and Apollo needs. Holy fuck, does he need. He feels like he will burst if Steve doesn’t kiss him right the fuck now.
Taking another deep breath, he lets his eyes drop to Steve’s lips for a second. When their eyes meet again, he sees Steve’s understanding.
“You sure?” Apollo asks.
Steve nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. You?” he sighs, slightly parting his lips.
Apollo’s heart stutters. ‘Please,“ his voice wavers. “Please, Steve.”
Steve’s face lights up, and for a moment Apollo fears that Steve is going to make him beg. He’s sure the possibility crosses Steve’s mind, at least, but luckily he doesn’t consider it for long. Instead, he winks, smiles, and firmly plants his lips on Apollo’s.
He’s distantly aware that Koji is whooping in celebration, but it, along with the sounds of the fireworks and the crowd, fades to the background. His entire consciousness is focussed on the point where Steve’s lips and his meet. He’s breathing Steve in, finally getting enough air again. The tightness in his chest dissolves and he feels light, as though he could float away at the smallest breeze, but Steve’s hands on his waist anchor him in the here and now. He wants this moment never to end, and it seems to last eternally, yet it’s over in the blink of an eye.
As their lips come apart, Apollo sighs, and makes eye contact with Steve again. He barely gets enough time to notice the pink on Steve’s cheeks and smile, before the two of them get accosted by their friends.
“I love the gays,” Scott announces loudly, kissing them both on the cheek. Kimi winks at them and gives Apollo an awkward thumbs up. Hafu puts a hand on Apollo’s shoulder and smiles widely. 5up hugs Steve, and whispers something in his ear that makes Steve laugh. “I’m happy for you,” 5up adds out loud.
“Thanks, baby,” Steve smiles, and squeezes Apollo’s hand. “I’m happy too.”
“Not as happy as me,” Koji cheers, pushing Janet and Dk aside to envelope Steve and Apollo in a big embrace, which turns into a group hug.
“I love you guys,” Steve announces.
“I love you more,” Dk pipes up.
“Well, I love you most,” Apollo states, but he’s looking at Steve and Steve alone.
“Ew, you guys are disgusting,” Janet teases. Steve flips her off without taking his eyes off Apollo, and everyone laughs.
After finally wishing everyone a Happy New Year, and another kiss from Steve, Apollo joins everyone in watching the fireworks. “I’m glad we waited,” he tells Steve after a particularly beautiful set of explosions. “This was magical. Even better than if we would’ve kissed after the Christmas market.”
“You WHAT?” 5up shouts indignantly.
“Oops,” Steve deadpans, before laughing. “Well that teaches you to stop putting your cute little nose in other people’s business.”
“Fine,” 5up grumbles, and he’s only slightly mollified when Hafu and a giggling David take his hands. “You’re welcome for all my matchmaking, though.”
“Much appreciated,” says Steve.
“I won’t forget,” says Apollo. And he doesn’t.
-
Steve and Apollo use the money Koji sends them to buy a plane ticket from Austin to LA, where Apollo spends as much time with Steve as he can. The rest of the money they use to take 5up out to dinner as a thank you.