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“Steve, I have to tell you something.”
Steve hears Eddie's tentative voice from the other side of the couch as they watch tv. It’s both their nights off, so they decided to rewatch their favorite episode of Supernatural. Yellowfever.
“Yeah man, what’s up?” he says as he turns to look at Eddie. He notices how he’s fidgeting in the way he only does when he’s either bored or nervous. Well, this can’t be good. He quickly pauses the tv and turns to give Eddie his full attention, folding his leg in front of him on the couch.
“Hey, it's okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Even if you clogged the tub again with your weird body mud mask shit again, I won’t be mad.” Steve’s trying his hardest to soothe Eddie, and it seems to at least kind of work when he exhales a small laugh. But his eyes are now glassy, like he’s about to cry.
“There’s this, um, thing. A n-new thing that I just realized about myself, like, last week. S-so very, extremely new, and I’m still kinda freaking out about it. But you’re my best friend Steve, a-and we live together so this would definitely come up eventually. But like, I hate hiding things from you. We tell each other everything, and this has been eating me up inside. I actually didn’t eat anything at all yesterday, and then I slept maybe 2 hours, and I’m losing my fucking mind Stevie. Like I have never felt like this in my entire life, and I don’t know how to act or what to say or how to just fucking be-”
“Eds, dude. You have to calm down, it is going to be okay. I promise you I won’t be mad.”
“You can’t just promise shit like that when you have no idea what I’m about to tell you.”
“Eddie, I guarantee you will still be my best friend, and I’ll still love you no matter what man. Even if you fucking sprout a tail and wings and call yourself Lucifer or whatever, you’re still my best friend.”
“Alright, well, okay. Okay, yeah. You know what? You’re right. Me being gay is probably THE least weird thing about me so I don’t know why I was so nervous that you’d be upset about it. I’m such an idiot I should’ve known-”
Eddie just keeps talking, but Steve is frozen. He’s not sure why this is causing his heart to feel like it’s beating in his throat, but now he’s lightheaded. Eddie is gay. When the hell did that happen? Like sure, he’s never had a girlfriend, but he’s definitely hooked up with girls before. They’ve talked about it together.
“Wait. Wait, Eddie, be quiet. How the hell did you figure out you were gay?” It comes out a little harsher than intended, and Steve sees a bit of fear and hurt flash across Eddie's face.
“I’m sorry, that came out all wrong. I just mean, we’ve talked about girls together before, man. You’ve slept with girls. I’m just trying to understand. Robin knew when she was like 6. Why did it take you so long to figure it out?” He says that last part as gently as he can, trying to show Eddie he’s not mad or disgusted. Just really fucking confused.
“Oh. Yeah. I guess that is a little confusing. See, the thing is, I’ve only ever hooked up with, like, three girls. And I was a late bloomer, as you know. I didn’t lose my v-card until I was fucking 22. I just always thought I wasn’t all that interested in sex or relationships, you know. But then I saw this TikTok where this guy was talking about not realizing he was gay until he was FORTY. Forty, Steve. Like this guy had a wife and two kids. But the way he described his life was so eerily familiar.”
He pauses, wetting his lip and glancing over at Steve before continuing.
“So I, um, may have dabbled in some gay porn. A lot of gay porn, actually. And then I went and hooked up with like 6 guys at that gay club downtown. And I felt like I was being reborn , dude. I felt like I was taking the blindfold off after nearly 24 years of being blind. Like my fucking skin was being peeled away to reveal the real me. I don’t know. That’s cheesy as shit. But yeah, I realized I actually love the idea of sex. Just not with women.”
Steve’s brain is not really working anymore. He is so completely and absolutely shocked that words just refuse to form in his mouth. Why is this such a big deal? He didn’t react this way when Robin came out to him, or Will or El or Max. With them, he was nothing but supportive. They shared hugs, and he told them he loved them no matter what.
So why the actual fuck was his brain stuttering now?
Maybe it’s because the others were obvious, and everyone had just been waiting for it to happen. But Eddie , Eddies never even hinted that he was anything other than straight. But now he’s saying he’s gay, which obviously is fine .
Okay, fucking get it together, Harrington.
What the hell is wrong with him? Eddie’s his best friend, and Steve has been silent since he told him his most vulnerable secret.
Steve looks over at Eddie with the warmest smile he can manage and grabs Eddie's trembling hand. He hadn’t realized that Eddie had been shaking this entire time. Eddie refuses to look Steve in the eyes as he begins to talk.
“Eddie, it’s okay. I’m sorry I reacted that way, not cool. I love you, man, and I’m happy for you!” Steve slowly starts to rub his thumb over the back of Eddie's knuckles, “I am just beyond shocked, dude. Like I never would’ve guessed.”
Eddie looks at him then, a dusty blush spreading across the tops of his cheeks. “Yeah, ah ha, me either,” he looks down at their joint hands then carefully removes his to tuck his hair behind his ears, “I guess it didn’t help that my old man told me until the day he died that he’d ‘beat the fag outta me’ if he ever found out I was gay. So I guess that, combined with everything that was already so different about me, I just repressed the fuck out of my feelings until, I couldn’t anymore.”
They just kind of look at each other then, sharing bittersweet smiles. Steve starts to lean in, raising his arms, and Eddie's eyes go wide. He looks almost scared. Fuck , he thinks Steve going to hit him.
“Shit, man. I’m sorry! I know you’re kinda freaked out right now, but I would never hit you. I was trying to be all sweet and comforting and give you a hug.” He wants to be offended that Eddie thought for even a second that Steve would want to hit him, but he understands this isn’t really about him. Eddie has been through some shit, and Steve’s less-than-stellar reaction is probably bringing a lot of that up.
“I know, man. Sorry, it’s okay. I know that you wouldn’t. I’ve just been freaking the fuck out since I realized all this . I’m stressed, and I’ve barely eaten today. I was just so nervous to tell you. I mean, we live together, man. I wasn’t sure if you’d kick me out or what. I just didn’t know.”
He pauses and looks down then and says so softly that Steve almost doesn’t hear it.
“I didn’t know.”
And Eddie looks at him then with what Steve can only describe as the face of a wounded puppy. Soft eyes, pinched brows, and that pained frown that always tugs at something just below his ribs. Steve hates that look. It’s Eddie's self-hatred look.
So he does the only thing he knows to do, he grabs Eddie by the back of the head and pulls him to his chest. Eddie goes stiff for a brief moment before tucking his face into Steve’s neck and wrapping his arms around him in a vice grip. Steve begins to rock them side to side, and they just sit like that for an immeasurable amount of time.
When they finally separate, Eddie's eyes are glassy, and his face is flushed. But he looks less sad now, more just exhausted. They just stare at each other for a second, heavy with emotion. Eddie's eyes flicker over Steve’s face, and he feels incredibly overwhelmed all at once. Steve clears his throat as he sits back.
“You’re my best friend, Eds. Nothing could ever change that,” Steve says as Eddie scrubs at his tired eyes. “Besides, we both know I couldn’t afford the rent on this place if I kicked you out.”
And just like that, the tension breaks as Eddie huffs out an amused grunt, reaches for the remote, and mumbles a whatever you say, Harrington as he presses play.
-
Things go right back to normal in the weeks following Eddie’s coming out. He and Steve continue their regular routine of cooking dinner together, grocery runs, and weekly movie nights. For the most part, nothing really changes.
Except for when Eddie tells the rest of the party, and they all lose their collective minds.
“But wait, I thought you’ve dated, like, several girls. This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yeah, like, maybe you’re bi. You’ve always been attracted to girls. Maybe now you’re just attracted to both.”
“I mean, sexuality IS a spectrum. You could have just shifted in the last couple of years. I saw a TikTok about that once.”
“WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?” Max interrupts the three boys and continues when their shocked faces turn to her, “Do you really think Eddie would do this, sit us all down, and tell us this very significant development about himself if he wasn’t absolutely sure? You guys are such dickheads.”
She says that last part under her breath as she turns to Eddie and says, “Thank you for telling us, Ed. I’m really happy for you.” It’s the sweetest and most sincere Steve’s ever seen Max, but she quickly recovers by turning to the still silent boys and, in an eerily calm voice saying, “Now you three, apologize and tell Eddie how much you love him.”
The boys quickly scramble to be the first to speak, cutting each other off and swinging their arms. Max, El, and Will all just exchange a knowing look.
“GUYS, guys, it’s okay. Steve was a little confused, too. I promise it’s okay. Just for future reference, not everyone’s gonna be cool with getting that reaction when they come out. So please just don’t be idiots next time, alrighty?”
There’s a chorus of mumbled apologies all around, and then in one swift movement, Eddie is swooping in for one big group hug. The kids all surround him, squeezing tight. And then Eddie looks over his shoulder at Steve and, with a roll of his eyes, he steps up and wraps his arms around everyone.
“I love you guys, even if some of you are oblivious idiots sometimes,” Eddie says as he looks over at Steve, giving his signature shit-eating smirk.
But there’s a look in his eyes that Steve doesn’t see from him very often. That forlorn, kicked puppy look is there again. And for the life of him, Steve cannot figure out why Eddie would be feeling that right now.
Once they’ve all separated and the kids are distracting themselves, Steve pulls Eddie aside and asks if he’s okay.
“Yeah, man, I’m fine, I promise. Just a little bit overwhelmed with all this, ya know?” And he gives Steve a sad but genuine smile. The look from before is gone, replaced with something more neutral.
“Okay, Eds, I just wanted to make sure. You just seemed a little off, is all,” Steve says as he squeezes Eddie's shoulder and gives him his brightest smile.
“I know, Stevie, I know,” Eddie says with big, glassy eyes, “Thank you for caring so much.” It’s a bit tight and forced, but before Steve can say anything, Eddie is wrapping his arms around him tightly. Steve hears him sniffle and just hugs him back with equal enthusiasm.
“Of course, Eddie. I love you, man. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” Steve says, and Eddie just sobs into his shoulder and chokes out a barely audible “love you too, Stevie.”
And Steve just holds him. Because while he doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, he knows Eddie is hurting. And at this moment, he needs Steve.
-
It was about two weeks later when the kids decided they wanted to throw Eddie a pool party as a way of saying, ‘Sorry, we were fucking awful.’ Steve, Will, and the girls end up doing much of the work, of course, but it’s the thought that counts.
They rent out the community pool for the day and buy all of Eddie's favorite snacks, and the kids all buy him small gifts. A set of DnD dice in the MLM pride flag colors. A pair of rainbow socks. A new mug that says Gay & Tired to add to his collection. Dustin just shows up in a shirt that says, ‘I love my gay dad.’
And El, bless her heart, got Eddie one of those ugly ass drag birds from the Target Pride collection. Eddie immediately duck tapes it to the dash of his car, proclaiming it his ‘prized possession.’
All the older Party members decided to join together and make a playlist of the gayest music they could think of, from ‘I Want to Break Free’ by Queen to ‘Born This Way’ by Lady Gaga to ‘Montero’ by Lil Nas X to name a few. They also each get him a separate gift, mostly just fun and useful things Eddie would enjoy. A couple of band posters from Jonathan, a brand new set of The Lord of the Rings book series from Nancy, a baggy of freshly rolled joints from Argyle, and a signet ring to add to his collection from Chrissy.
But Robin’s gift might have been the best of them all. She’d gotten Eddie a new pair of swim trunks since he’d been wearing the same threadbare pair since he was 16. They were way too tight, an ugly blue Hawaiian print, and falling apart. And while a new pair was definitely needed, Robin took some creative liberties with her style choices.
While Eddie didn’t pay much attention to them, besides the fact that they were yellow, Robin had shown them to Steve beforehand. They were a bright, sunshine color, with a white waistband and a small pocket on the front. They also happened to be extremely short, like a 4-inch inseam short.
So Eddie hurried off to change, and everyone else started jumping in the pool and having fun. It was the perfect day for a pool party. Sun was shining, the water was the perfect temperature, and everyone was happy. Steve had barely even noticed Eddie's absence until he heard the unmistakable tune of ‘ Shock Me’ by Jermaine Jackson and Whitney Houston flowing from the loudspeaker.
And with a flush reaching all the way down his chest, Eddie struts up to the edge of the pool and does what he does best. He puts on a show.
“I gotta say Birdie, not normally my thing. But I do feel very sexy in a ‘John Travolta in Perfect circa 1985’ sort of way, ya know?” Eddie says as he shimmies his hips before he proceeds to squat down and begin thrusting his hips to the beat of the song.
“Soooo, what does everyone think??” He says with his usual dramatic flair. Everyone begins to cheer and whistle, some even singing along, and Steve is pretty sure he hears Argyle yell, “Those look aerodynamic as fuck, dude.”
But Steve, Steve doesn’t say anything. Because he doesn’t know what to say. Eddie looks… different. The trunks Robin chose are short , much shorter than he expected, not even reaching the middle of his thighs. They’re also just as tight as the old ones but in a much more intentional way like they were designed to show off the cut V of Eddie’s abdomen, or the bulge of his shockingly muscular thighs.
Steve tries to keep his eyes away from the obvious imprint in the front, but honestly, it’s a little difficult. It’s almost a relief when Eddie gives them all a little twirl, showing off how they hug his ass in the most flattering way. But even then, it’s not much of a reprieve. The color suits him, too, so much more than the ugly faded blue.
It's like they were made for Eddie, and he looks amazing.
Suddenly Steve realizes he’s been staring for a little too long, so he quickly averts his eyes. What the hell was that, Harrington? he thinks as he takes in the scene around him.
Moving through the water towards the edge of the pool, Steve wraps his arms around Eddie’s calves and yanks him in.
When Eddie emerges from the water, sputtering and confused, Steve fixes him with a shit-eating grin.
“Asshole! You just had to steal my spotlight, didn’t you?” Eddie snaps, but there’s no heat behind it. Because his smile is bright, and even though he looks like a drowned rat, Steve thinks this is the freest he’s ever seen his best friend.
-
In the next few months after the party, everything has pretty much as it’s always been. Besides the occasional joke here or there, no one treats Eddie any differently now that he’s out.
Things at home, however, can sometimes be a little awkward.
Eddie feels weird about them being naked in front of each other now, even though they have literally lived together for years and seen each other naked dozens of times.
But it’s whatever. Steve doesn’t want to make Eddie uncomfortable, especially when everything is still so new for him. The only problem is he’s still getting used to this new agreement. Mostly just close calls, but on one dreadful afternoon, he did the unthinkable.
He was running late to pick up Dustin to hang out, so he wasn’t thinking clearly. He couldn’t find the shirt he wanted to wear, so he was running around shirtless, frantically searching for it. Eddie was in the shower getting ready for band practice, but Steve needed to ask him if he’d seen it.
So without a second thought, Steve bursts into the bathroom, all ready to yell at Eddie for mixing up their laundry again when he hears it.
“Oh fuck ,” followed by a choked off moan comes floating from the shower, and Steve freezes.
And see, the thing is, Steve’s accidentally heard Eddie while he’s jerking off before. He’d usually ignore it, maybe bang on the wall if it got too excessive. But something sounds a little different this time. There’s too much movement and the noises aren’t what he’s used to hearing. The shower walls are creaking, and there’s the faint sound of flesh smacking against a hard surface.
Oh, oh god.
Steve knows exactly what’s going on now.
His entire face heats up at his realization, and now it’s like he can’t move fast enough. He turns towards the door and opens it to leave, but in his panic, he smacks his head off the center of the wood. Cursing, he falls to the floor, cradling his forehead.
“Shit , fuck fuck fuck! Steve? Is that you?" he hears Eddie's frantic voice say. He also hears the wet slap of something firm hitting the shower wall, followed by a muffled groan as he hears Eddie splashing around.
Jesus Christ.
“Yeah, it’s me, man. I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked,” Steve says as he just closes his eyes and contemplates every decision he’s ever made that got him to this point.
“Did you, uh, what exactly did you hear?” comes Eddie’s terrified voice.
And Steve wants to lie, if only to spare Eddie the embarrassment, but he knows Eddie’s not an idiot. So he just replies with, “I am so sorry, Eddie, I should have knocked.”
There’s a soft squeak and then the sound of what is most likely Eddie smacking himself in the forehead.
“I’m just gonna go, man. I’m running late to pick up Dustin anyway. I’ll see you later, have fun at practice, Eds,” and then he just stands up and exits the bathroom. He puts on the first shirt he can find and leaves the apartment as quickly as he possibly can.
…
Later on, once Steve is home and relaxing in bed, Eddie pokes his head into his room. He’s wearing a sheepish expression, hiding behind his hair, and refusing to look Steve in the eye.
“Can we talk?” He says in a quiet voice.
“Yeah, man, come sit down,” Steve replies, sitting up to give Eddie room. He enters the room and plants himself on the very edge of Steve’s mattress. Leaning forward with his hands on his knees, rocking back and forth like he’s gearing himself up for what he needs to say. When he finally does, his lips press into a flat line, and he looks up to Steve.
“So… I really want to be mad at you for walking into the bathroom without knocking first. But I also know that we’ve lived together a certain way for so long that it will take some adjusting. And I do want to apologize for any… activities you may or may not have heard while in the bathroom. I’ve been experimenting and trying to figure out what works for me, so, ya know… that’s just… I’m gonna stop talking now because this is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.”
Once Eddie finishes, he looks back down between his knees. Steve can see the vibrant red of his blush, even in the dark. And he just kind of sits there because he doesn’t know what to say or do now. He hates seeing Eddie like this, small and humiliated.
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed, Eddie. I’m the idiot who didn’t knock. There’s nothing wrong with whatever you were doing, and I’m never gonna judge you for just trying to figure yourself out,” Steve says as he reaches out and rubs Eddie’s back, right under his shoulder blades. Eddie’s face melts into a relaxed smile, his eyes shining as they flicker around his face. Steve then looks at Eddie with a mischievous smirk and says, “However, I will say that I’m sorry to have interrupted.”
“Goddammit, Steve, fuck, why’d you have to say that?” Eddie says as he abruptly shrugs off Steve’s hand to stand, turning to give Steve an incredulous look, “Like I thought we were having a moment there, then you had to go and make it weird again.”
Steve would worry that he upset Eddie, but he’s laughing as he says it. Shaking his head like he can’t believe what an idiot his best friend is.
“Had to lighten the mood somehow,” Steve says with a shrug, “but seriously, Eds, it’s not a big deal. Feel free to explore yourself however you'd like. I will 100% remember to knock from now on. You have no worries there.”
The conversation ends there, Eddie heading off to bed. But Steve’s mind continues to race.
Why does the idea of what he knows Eddie was doing make him feel like he’s burning from the inside? Eddie’s allowed to enjoy himself, deserves it, really. After years of not really knowing what he liked or wanted. But right now, Steve just feels so off balance, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
Then his mind wanders to thoughts of how Eddie would have positioned his body, what angle felt the best, and how exactly it made him feel. Because Steve knows it had to have felt pretty good, based on the sounds Eddie was making.
That thought leads Steve to wonder whether or not Eddie got off on the idea of being heard, of being watched. If he went right back to what he was doing once Steve left, but with a renewed vigor at the thought of what Steve might have witnessed.
Suddenly Steve shakes himself, banishing that train of thought as he rolls over to shut off his bedside lamp.
His stomach hurts, his hands itch and his temples are throbbing.
All he knows is he will always knock before entering a room from now on.
-
It’s a few weeks later when they’re all gathered at the bowling alley for Ellie’s birthday. It was her 18th, so Hopper told her she could do and have whatever her heart desired. She wanted to go bowling, and she wanted stacks of pizza and cheese fries for dinner. And instead of a birthday cake, she requests a tower of Eggos with milkshakes for dessert.
Hopper decided he was going to go all out for his little girl, renting out the nicest bowling alley in the area and inviting all her nearest and dearest.
Steve and Eddie, along with the rest of the older party members, joined Joyce and Hopper to help get everything set up and ready. El had decided she wanted to go with a theme for her party: Aggressively 80s. When Hopper adopted El, he didn’t have satellite tv. He only had an older VCR player, and every movie he’d watched as a kid, which just so happened to be the mid-80s classics: including The Terminator, Robocop, and The Breakfast Club. So her first memories in her new home were full of bright colors and synthesized music, and that’s exactly how she decided she wanted the party to be.
Everything was covered in neon. From the tablecloths to the streamers hanging from the ceiling to the guests themselves. Because, of course, Ellie had requested everyone dress in their finest 80’s themed attire.
Steve had just gone with a pretty typical look of things he mostly already owned. A flattering pair of light-washed Levi’s, a navy blue shirt, and white Nikes. All topped off with a gray Members Only jacket and black rimmed sunglasses. He even styled his hair into the closest to a mullet he could manage without actually cutting his hair.
Some people had done the John Hughes equivalent to their normal style, like Robin, who basically already dresses like a cross between Annie Hall and Iona from Pretty in Pink. Or the exact opposite, like Jonathan, who went full Patrick Swayze and committed to the bit.
And then there’s Dustin, who literally just dressed as Han Solo.
Eddie had actually taken this assignment very seriously (because Ellie is secretly his favorite, but he would never in a million years admit to that) and gone to several thrift and consignment shops, and even raiding his uncle's basement, looking for the perfect pieces to complete his vision.
He found a pair of worn black jeans with matching holes in the knees, a Judas Priest shirt that was almost artfully torn along the collar, and his beaten up old Docs. But what really made the outfit were Wayne’s old pieces. The clunky rings, aged leather jacket, and even his battle vest that he customized himself when he was in high school. Eddie had also styled his modern shag a bit wilder, adding more curls and volume, as well as a little eyeliner.
He looked hot, objectively speaking. Eddie was always a good looking guy, but something about this look just really made sense for him. The way the threadbare material of the band tee hugged his chest, or how the added curls framed his face, showing off his doe eyes that are only further emphasized by the smudges around them.
Eddie was kind of beautiful, actually.
Steve is ripped from his thoughts by Max jumping on his back, yelling ‘mush, mush boy’ as the kids usher him towards their designated lanes. The kids all get together in one lane, and the young adults go to theirs. Joyce and Hopper decided they just wanted to watch, probably a little too exhausted from stressing over the party for days.
They have a blast once they get going. Robin and Jonathan obviously being terrible, Nancy is perfect as she is in all things, and Chrissy and Argyle shock everyone with just how good they are. Steve’s decent enough, with his athletic background and natural strength. He is not the best by any means, that title goes to Nance, but he’ll probably get second or third.
Eddie, who had insisted on himself going last, is now shifting from foot to foot as he watches Chrissy role for a spare. He looks a little nervous, glancing around to make sure no one is watching him. When he makes eye contact with Steve, he gives him a nervous smile and motions for him to come over.
“Hey man, you alright?” Steve asks as he approaches his friend.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just, ugh, a little nervous,” Eddie says as he gestures to their friends. Steve turns to watch them cackle as Robin rolls another gutterball.
“Why in the world are you nervous, Eddie? If you’re terrible, nobody cares, dude,” Steve says as he gestures over to Robin, “I mean, come on, Robin is terrible.” He’s smiling as he says it, trying to ease Eddie’s nerves. But he’s still looking at the lane anxiously.
Then he suddenly turns to Steve and says, “I really don’t care how good I am. I’m just nervous because I have no idea how to bowl. I’ve literally never done this before in my life, man.” He ends it with an exaggerated sigh as he slumps his shoulders, looking back over at his friends.
And Steve knows he could just show Eddie how to do it. Honestly, it would be easiest. Demonstrate the best way to hold the ball and have him watch as he rolls. Maybe even explain the best way to angle your arm on the release.
However, something comes over Steve at that moment. If you asked him later, he couldn’t begin to explain what. But he just smiles, grabs Eddie’s wrist, and tugs him towards the lane for Eddie’s turn. Steve grabs a ball, takes Eddie’s hand, and gently pushes his fingers into the correct slots.
Eddie looks a little flustered when Steve folds up his elbow, shoving the ball to Eddie’s chest and just under his chin. He grabs Eddie by his shoulders and moves him to stand in front of the lane. He leans forward slightly, feeling the edge of Eddie’s curls brush his cheek to whisper into his ear.
“Now I’m only gonna do this once, so make sure you’re paying attention to everything now, okay?” Steve says, tilting his head to look at Eddie’s profile. His cheeks are tinted pink, his eyes wide, and there’s a tight smile stretching his lips.
“Y-yeah, sure thing Stevie,” he says, glancing over at Steve, “What exactly are we doing here?”
Steve doesn’t answer verbally, instead crowding even closer behind him. Reaching around Eddie’s frame, Steve aligns their limbs as he lays his hands over Eddie’s on the bowling ball.
“Alright, now just let your arms go a little boneless and follow my movements,” he says directly into Eddie’s ear, only getting a jerky nod in return.
Steve then begins to step forward, swinging his right arm back with Eddie’s as he does. He takes his free hand and braces it on Eddie’s hip, moving him closer to the mouth of the lane. Steve then mumbles a quick ‘Now let go’ as their arms swing together, releasing the ball.
They stand there, still pressed together, and watch with bated breath as the ball rolls toward the pins. It swerves far left, causing them both to inhale harshly, believing it to be lost to the gutter. But then, at the last second, it makes a sharp right turn, nailing the pins dead center.
It’s a strike .
Steve wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders, jumping up and down and chanting, ‘You did it, you did it, you did it.' Everyone else around them is cheering him on, screaming proudly for their friend.
But when he turns Eddie by his shoulders, his face is pale. He looks stressed, still staring toward where the pins once stood.
“Hey Eds, you alright?” Steve asks, trying to get Eddie to look at him. “That was amazing! I knew you’d be a natural.”
Eddie finally looks at him then, looking into Steve’s eyes with his own wide ones.
“Mhm, yeah, totally. Thanks Steve, I gotta use the bathroom real quick.” And then he’s just gone, speed walking off to the bathroom.
It’s not until he glances over at Robin, who’s giving him that look, that he realizes he may have gone a bit overboard with this one.
-
“I still cannot believe you did that shit. Jesus fucking Christ Steven, I’m pretty sure you somehow threw Eddie into another gay crisis,” Robin screeches at him over FaceTime the next evening.
The party had been a blast, Ellie saying it was her best birthday yet.
Eddie, however, had been a little distant the rest of the night.
He was still loud and obnoxious with the kids and everyone else, but he didn’t really come within five feet of Steve the rest of the night. The car ride home was fine, though, so Steve wasn’t worried.
“Rob, you are so dramatic. I was just teaching him how to bowl. Which I’m apparently pretty goddamn good at because he almost beat Nancy!” Steve says as he searches through all the streaming apps for something to watch. It’s his turn to pick for movie night, and he needs to at least try to pretend to look for something new before he goes with one of his tried and true trifecta of movies.
The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift, Top Gun, and 10 Things I Hate About You
The only perfect movies in existence, in Steve’s humble opinion.
“Steven Jaehaerys Harrington,” Wow, that’s a new one, “I am not being dramatic. I am almost positive Eddie had to go yank it in the bathroom before he could rejoin us civilized folk.”
“Yank it? Robin, no one says that.”
“I’m a lesbian, Steve. Very rarely do I deal in that area of the human anatomy, so forgive me if my lingo isn’t up to date. Now quit deflecting, and please explain to me why the hell you did that?”
And see, the thing is, Steve can’t really explain why he did it. There’s no thought process behind his actions last night. It was like his body just moved without his permission.
He’s not going to lie to himself and say he didn’t enjoy it just a little. It’s always nice hugging and being close to his friends. And there’s no way Eddie reacted the way Robin is insisting he did.
“Listen, Robin, I was just trying to help out my friend who had no clue what he was doing. Can you believe he’d never been bowling before? How the hell did I not know that?” Steve asks as he looks at Robin with a shocked expression, “And there is no way he committed the crimes you’re accusing him of. You saw him sucking down all those Cokes last night. Dude probably had to piss like a racehorse.”
Robin mumbles something then that sounds suspiciously like, ‘I’m sure he’d love to be suckin’ on something.’
“Huh, what was that, Rob?”
“Nothing! Nothing, I just love how willing you are to always help your friends.” She finishes her sentence with a sickly sweet smile right as the front room opens. “Speak of the devil.”
“What?” Eddie asks before clumsy flopping over the back of the couch, narrowly missing Steve’s head with his socked foot. “Who’s this devil you speak of, and why haven’t I met them?”
He says it in his DM voice, loud and boisterous. Then he looks over at Steve and says, “Were you two gossiping about me? You know how much I hate to be left out of the loop.”
“We were just talking about what an incredible bowler you are, Eddie. I can’t believe you had never been before yesterday,” Robin says in that overly enunciated way she does when trying to make a point to Steve.
Eddie’s goofy grin falters just a bit, but he quickly recovers. Patting Steve’s shoulder as he says, “All thanks to Stevie here, best teacher ever. The student somehow surpassed the master after one lesson. Can you believe that?”
Eddie just gives Robin this look, then, a look that Steve somehow doesn’t know the meaning of. He sees the teasing glint vanish from her eyes, and her features soften as she glances at Steve, then back to Eddie.
“I certainly can’t. You’re quite the talent, Eddie,” she says in a much warmer tone than necessary, “Well, I guess I better let you go so you can enjoy your movie night. Talk to you guys later, bye-bye assholes.”
Once she hangs up, Steve looks over at Eddie and smiles. He’s just gotten in from work, his hair up in a high bun that had begun to sag, and loose hair falling all around his face.
“You ready to watch 10 Things I Hate About You?” Steve asks with a grin, and Eddie just rolls his eyes and mumbles, “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I’m gonna fall asleep in 5 minutes anyway.”
So Steve puts it on, sits back, and enjoys one of the best pieces of cinema ever created. It’s around the time Ms. Perky is calling Kat a ‘heinous bitch’ that he feels Eddie’s head hit his shoulder. He looks down and sees a line of drool already streaming down Eddie’s chin.
Steve can’t help the burst of warmth in his chest at the sight. After years of Eddie struggling with nightmares and insomnia, seeing him so effortlessly fall asleep after less than 10 minutes almost feels like a miracle.
Readjusting himself, Steve moves his feet up onto the couch alongside Eddie to get more comfortable. Letting Eddie’s head slide down onto his chest. It took him a few minutes to notice, but he’d started absentmindedly combing his fingers through Eddie’s bangs, smoothing out the frizzy curls.
Just as Cruel To Be Kind begins to play, Steve starts to feel his eyes getting heavy. He momentarily thinks he should probably get up and go to bed, and cover Eddie up because the poor guy has the worst circulation and is always freezing. But he’s so comfortable, and the day's exhaustion is starting to catch up to him. So he just wiggles down further to lay flat on the cushions, whips the throw blanket off the back of the couch, and lays it over them both.
The last thing he remembers before he drifts off to sleep is the soft sound of Eddie snoring and this deeply content feeling in the middle of his chest.
…
When Steve wakes up the next morning, it’s to a soft body pressed to his front and a mop of hair tickling his nose. He can smell the sweet scent of strawberry shampoo, laced with cigarette smoke and sweat. He feels short puffs of warm breath on his neck, and there’s a strong grip all around him.
Once he blinks his eyes awake, he finally realizes what he’s gotten himself into.
Looking down, he sees that Eddie has wrapped himself completely around his body. His arm has a tight grip on Steve’s middle, and his leg is thrown up and over both of Steve’s. Eddie’s face is tucked up right into his neck, and one of his hands is curled into Steve’s hair.
And then he feels something pressed against his hip. Something hot and hard, and suddenly Steve can’t breathe.
His entire body goes rigid, but then he can feel an eerily familiar warmth blooming just behind his navel.
Nope , nope, absolutely not. Banishing that right now.
In his panic, Steve wakes Eddie up just enough for him to register what is happening. And then he’s flailing to stand, knocking Steve to the floor, and holding the blanket over his crotch.
“Sorry man, didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that,” Eddie croaks as he starts backing away towards his bedroom. Then he quickly turns, slamming the door behind him, leaving Steve on the floor in their living room.
And not for the first time in recent months, Steve wonders what the hell is happening to him?
When did the idea of Eddie’s naked body, his sweet scent under his nose, or the hot press of his morning wood inspire these feelings in Steve? It’s all so confusing because the thought would have never occurred to him three months ago. Why is it that now , now that Eddie’s come out, that this shit is happening?
It almost feels wrong, maybe even a little homophobic. That just because now that he knows Eddie is gay, Steve is starting to view him differently and change the way he acts around him.
Reaching up to massage his temples, Steve debates whether or not he should even bother getting off the floor. Or if he should just stay there the rest of the day.
-
A few weeks later, the entirety of the older party members are gathered in their apartment, getting ready to head out to a Halloween party. It’s hosted by one of Robin’s old band friends, so hopefully, no frat dudes will be involved.
Steve had just gone with one of his favorites, dressing as Tom Cruise’s character from Top Gun. White t-shirt, boot cut jeans cuffed at the bottom and black high-top Converse. Topped off with a bomber jacket Steve made himself, complete with every hand-stitched patch from the original.
Eddie’s still in the bathroom, undoubtedly putting the finishing touches on what he promised to be his “best Halloween look yet.”
He looks over to Robin, sitting with her eyes closed as Chrissy carefully glues the red gemstone to her forehead. Chrissy’s head is bobbing to the beat of As It Was , her red wig swaying with the motion. They’d decided to go as Raven and Starfire since they’re both huge comic nerds and had vehemently insistent on the fact that the characters are in love.
Nancy’s been ready for nearly 30 minutes, pregaming on the couch in her flight suit and flamethrower, which Will had made from cardboard and then hand painted. Jonathan is ready, too, wearing his Nostromo button-up and his entire chest covered in blood. But he is trying to help Argyle get his outfit in order, which is basically just a copy of Abed from Community’s Alien costume.
It’s nice to all be together, just the seven of them. Because as much as Steve loves the kids, they can all be a bit of a pain in the ass. And they can actually all go get drunk without having to worry about any of the young kids sneaking drinks. Tonight, he’s going to get shitfaced and have a good time.
Steve is suddenly pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the bathroom door slamming open, revealing a fully dressed Eddie. He prances out, skipping towards Robin and Chrissy, talking to them as he waves his arms around excitedly.
He’s wearing leather pants that hang low on his hips, showing off his sharp hip bones and crawling vine tattoos that follow them. They are sinfully snug, and the entire outside of Eddie’s legs can be seen where they are laced up. He’s wearing a see-through black mesh shirt that’s printed with tiny little stars, topped with a patchwork leather jacket that is lined with shearling fur. His platform Docs complete the look;his eyes are rimmed with black coal, and his hair an artful mess around his head.
The costume is a little too perfect for Eddie, honestly, and Steve truly cannot look away.
Then he’s right in front of Steve, bouncing up and down like an excited dog, asking him what he thinks. And Steve doesn’t know what to fucking say. Eddie looks kind of hot if he’s being frank with himself. And he can’t take his eyes away from the glint of Eddie’s nipple piercings that glimmer through the sheer material of his shirt.
Steve’s jerked back to reality by Eddie snapping his fingers in front of his face, yelling,“Earth to Harrington, come in, Steve.”
“Yeah, s-sorry. I’ve got a little bit of a headache. What were you saying?” It’s weak, but Eddie doesn’t seem to notice. Far too excited about his ‘masterpiece’ of a costume.
“ I said , what do ya think, man? Would Klaus Hargreeves approve?” Eddie says as he stretches out his arms, wiggling his fingers.
“Who the hell is Klaus Hargreeves? That sounds way too close to Hargrove for comfort, man,” Steve says with a slightly nervous giggle, still trying to recover from what the fuck was going on with his brain.
“Stevie, baby, you’ve literally watched The Umbrella Academy with me. Multiple times. How do you not remember Klaus? He’s the really hot one that talks to dead people,” Eddie says, nodding his head for emphasis.
“Oh, you mean the guy that had a gay lover in the Vietnam War? I loved him! Did you do the hand tattoos?”
“You know I did, dude. Best part of the costume,” he says before holding up his hands. HELLO and GOODBYE are written across his palms in a bold, dark font.
Steve would have to disagree that it’s the best part of the outfit, but that doesn’t need to be said out loud.
“Alrighty then, is everyone ready to go?” Nancy says as she stands, pulling her flamethrower in front of her and putting on her mean face.
“Yep! Let’s go get fucked up,” Robin yells a little too loudly, but everyone is as excited as she is as they race out the door.
Steve is walking down the stairs alongside Robin when he overhears Chrissy and Eddie’s conversation coming from behind them. He tries not to eavesdrop, but he can hear them so clearly it’s hard not to make out every word.
“From what Robin told me, there’s gonna be tons of cute queer guys here tonight. You would have your pick, with how incredible you look,” he hears Chrissy say, followed by an annoyed groan from Eddie.
“Absolutely not, Chris, I’m just not ready for all that yet. I’ve only made out with a few guys so far, maybe a little heavy petting. That’s it. And tonight is not the night to take a crack at my first time with a guy, okay?” Eddie says, causing Steve to take a mental pause.
Hearing that Eddie still hadn’t done anything with a guy is a little shocking. When Eddie had come out to him, he’d made it sound like he’d been experimenting a lot. Figuring his shit out. Specifically used the words ‘hooked up,’ which to Steve means at least a handy.
He can’t help but feel a little relieved, though, which is odd.
“Eddie, you’ve gotta put yourself out there at some point. I know it’s still very new, but you can’t stay hung up on the same guy forever. Especially a straight one,” Chrissy says, lowering her voice significantly as she says the last couple of words.
“Would you drop it? Not all of us can be so lucky and end up fucking engaged to our gay awakening. Some of us fall for straight boys with perfect hair just to torture ourselves,” Eddie hisses, “Now, can we please just drop it? I wanna have fun and forget all my problems tonight, alright?” And he sounds so sad when he says it. Steve can just imagine the dejected look on his face. He hates that look.
Steve looks back just in time to see Chrissy nod her head and murmur a faint alright . He glances over at Eddie, taking in his furrowed brows and slight pout. Eddie’s eyes then snap to his own, growing panicked for a second before Steve offers him a warm smile. He relaxes slightly, giving a shrug and then looking ahead, purposefully avoiding Steve’s eyes.
He’s not sure why Eddie hasn’t talked to him about all of this. Steve’s his best friend, and they tell each other everything. Steve could’ve helped him, maybe been a good wingman.
But the thought of that makes Steve’s stomach feel a little queasy. The idea of some sleaze all over Eddie, getting grabby, kissing him. Nearly makes his blood run cold.
It’s just that Eddie deserves better than cheap hookups and one-night stands, especially for his first time, or at least the first time that matters. He deserves better than some meathead who’s just trying to get his dick wet. He needs someone who will care for him, go slow, make it good for Eddie.
That’s what Steve would do, at least. If he were Eddie’s first.
Woah, what? Why the hell are you thinking that? Get ahold of yourself, Harrington!
Steve shakes himself just as they walk out onto the street, starting the short walk to the party.
…
Around four hours later, everyone’s drunk on jungle juice and having the most fun they’ve had in ages, either standing on tables singing and dancing or making out on the living room loveseat in Robin and Chrissy’s case.
Steve’s in the corner, talking to some girl that he’s too nice to turn away. Eddie and Argyle are dramatically slow dancing, even though they’re playing club music. Jonathan and Nancy are grinding on the coffee table, and Steve’s starting to get a little worried about its structural integrity.
Suddenly the girl he’s talking to is yelling, ‘Let’s play spin the bottle,’ and everyone within a 10-foot radius is crowding around them, huddling down to form a circle.
The girl looks at Steve expectantly, glancing at the nearly empty beer bottle in his hand. He quickly chugs it, and they sit down next to everyone else.
The game’s fun for a while, watching everyone either thoroughly enjoy themselves or give awkward pecks to just get it over with.
Like when Robin spun and landed on Eddie, the two just kind of giggled and shared a quick kiss before flinching back dramatically.
Or when Jonathan got Argyle, the two made out for a solid 20 seconds in front of everyone. Until Nancy had to yank them apart and whispered a suggestive, we’ll all continue this later, into their ears.
They make it all the way around the circle until it’s Eddie’s turn, and he reaches out with a slightly shaky hand to spin it. He gives it a good turn, and it spins and spins for what feels like hours. Until it slowly comes to a stop, pointing dead center right at Steve.
A shiver runs through Steve as he looks up to meet Eddie’s eyes, and he looks… conflicted?
Like this is the best fucking day of his life, but he’s not allowed to enjoy it.
Like he was just told, he’d won the lottery, but he can only spend the money on groceries.
And Steve is so, so very confused.
“Hey Stevie, we really don’t have to. It’s just a stupid game, right? I promise it will not hurt my feelings if you don’t wanna kiss these lips,” Eddie says with a grin on his face, but his eyes are wide and sad.
“No, it’s okay. Come on, Munson, lay one on me,” he says, shocked at how nonchalant it sounds coming out.
Because Steve’s freaking out, just a little, he sort of kind of wants to kiss Eddie right now. But in a friend way, right? Lots of people kiss their friends. He kisses Robin on the cheeks and corners of her mouth all the time. It doesn’t ever mean anything.
So why is he freaking out about kissing Eddie now?
Maybe it’s because Eddie is actually attracted to men, unlike Robin, so there’s that added layer of weirdness. Does that make Steve homophobic? God, he hopes not.
Jesus fucking Christ , what is going on with his head lately?
Somehow Steve and Eddie had migrated together without him even noticing because now they’re knelt less than a foot from each other. Eddie looks nervous, chewing on his lower lip as his eyes flicker over Steve’s face. His hands are resting on his thighs, squeezing them through the soft leather.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Stevie? I really, really do not want to make you uncomfortable,” Eddie says, looking up at Steve through his wild hair.
“Yeah, absolutely, no big deal,” Steve says as he reaches for Eddie, placing his hands on the sides of his friend's neck. Eddie grabs Steve’s forearms, gripping them so tight his knuckles start to turn white.
“Yeah yeah, no big deal,” Eddie mutters under his breath.
They look at each other for a few tense moments before they begin to lean in.
Steve lets his eyes slip shut, and a second later, he feels the warm press of Eddie’s lips on his.
It’s tentative at first, both assuming it’s just going to be a quick kiss to appease their fellow players.
But then Steve forgets their surroundings focusing solely on Eddie’s lips.
They’re slightly wet, a little chapped, and Steve can feel the roughness of stubble on his chin. It feels so good, the warmth of Eddie’s breath fanning across his cheeks, the sweet taste of the jungle juice mixing with a distinct flavor that must just be Eddie .
And Steve finds himself seeking out more of that delicious taste because then he’s opening his mouth and licking at the seam of Eddie’s lips. There’s a muffled moan, softly followed by Eddie opening his mouth and welcoming Steve with fervor.
Their lips slide together with ease like they were meant to do this.
It feels good. Right.
And then it all comes crashing down when he hears cheering, followed by loud, obnoxious applause. They break away, staring at each other with wide eyes, and Steve feels like he’s going to pass out.
“I, uh, gotta go to the bathroom. Great job, Munson,” he says, giving Eddie a thumbs up (why, why, WHY did he do that?) before sprinting up the stairs, down the hall, slamming the door behind him when he finds the first available room.
“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” and now he’s having a panic attack, great. And he can’t even go to Eddie for help like he normally would because Eddie is the reason for it.
Something’s gone so very, very wrong here. Kissing your best friend isn’t supposed to feel like that, especially if said best friend is a guy and you are straight.
Steve is straight, isn’t he?
Of course he is. He’s never felt any attraction to a man in his life. He’s just drunk, drunk, and confused. Kissing is nice, no matter who it’s with.
Yeah, that’s it. Steve just hasn’t kissed someone in a while, so it was nice to feel that again.
He sits down on the edge of the bed, rubbing at his temples as he wills himself to calm down. Everything’s fine. He’ll just sit in here for a bit and then rejoin the party.
…
When Steve finally pulls himself together enough to leave the room, he realizes it’s been almost 30 minutes. He wanders down the hall, searching for any of his friends. He spots them all, minus Eddie, standing around talking in the kitchen. When he enters, they all turn to stare at him with wide, concerned eyes.
“Where the hell did you go, dingus? You had us all so worried!” Robin says as she walks towards Steve, “What happened back there? Because something definitely happened.”
Steve can’t really explain what happened, doesn’t really want to. Every time he tries to think about putting it into words, his stomach aches.
“Nothing happened, Robs. I drank too much and had to puke. That’s all,” he says, voice pitching higher and louder as he goes along. He’s starting to feel the unease again, and he’s really got to get out of here.
“Don’t lie to me, Steve. Something has been going on with you lately, and we’re not leaving here until you tell me exactly what it is.
“ROBIN, would you just stop? For once in your fucking life, STOP??” And now he’s fully panicking, chest heaving, fist clenched, eyes welling with tears. And Robin must see it, too, because her face goes from stern to sad, almost pitying.
And then her eyes are darting over his shoulder, going wide and worried. She tries to stop Steve from turning, but it’s too late. He turns just in time to finally see the missing member of their group.
Eddie’s standing in the living room at the far end. He’s leaned up against the wall, looking lean and beautiful as he twists his curls with one hand, pulling them in front of his mouth. Then Steve looks down at his other hand, and he feels his blood run cold.
Eddie’s got his right hand resting on the hip of some guy, a hot guy. One of the ‘hot queer guys’ he overheard Chrissy talking about. He’s got golden brunette hair and wide veiny hands that are both gripping Eddie’s slim hips.
And Eddie looks like he’s enjoying himself. They both do if the excited giggles or the sultry smirks they’re wearing mean anything. And Steve should be happy for Eddie. He’s finally getting everything he wanted—a hot guy all over him. But Steve just can’t bring himself to feel anything but this burning rage deep in his belly.
And just as Steve is prepared to turn and look away, leave this fucking party, and go pass out in his bed, Eddie turns and locks eyes with him from across the room. And Steve’s not sure what expression he was expecting to see, but the angry determination he sees is definitely not it.
Eddie then faces the guy again, leaning in close, so close his lips graze his ear, and Steve sees the guy shiver. He whispers something slowly and with a smirk before pulling away with a quirked brow. The guy's face is beet red, and he’s nodding his head frantically.
Eddie then grabs one of his hands and pulls him along, walking right toward Steve and Robin.
“Heya, Steve,” Eddie says in a sort of bored nonchalance that just makes Steve want to grind his teeth, “Alex and I are gonna head back to his place, so don’t wait up.” He finishes with a devious grin, then sends Chrissy a wink before pulling Alex to the front door and disappearing.
Robin starts talking, but Steve can’t even hear her because all he can hear is static, and he feels like he may actually be sick this time.
He’s not sure how long he stands there, but long enough that Robin has given up and returned to stand with the rest of the group. She’s sending him worried looks periodically. Steve looks over at her with pleading eyes and mouths, ‘I gotta get out of here’ before he practically runs towards the door.
As Steve is walking home, he thinks back on this entire shitshow of an evening.
From the moment Eddie walked out of that bathroom, Steve felt like something inside of him had shifted. Seeing him like that, wearing what he was wearing. The anguish in his tone when Chrissy was encouraging him to find someone to spend the night with. The frankly odd look he gave Steve when the bottle landed on him. The angry glint in his eye when Eddie told him he was going home with Alex.
Nothing about Eddie’s behavior tonight makes any fucking sense. He’s acting like Steve did something wrong, like he’s scared of Steve.
And Steve would never hurt Eddie. He loves him. Eddie is one of the few people Steve’s never had to hide from.
That is, until now.
Because now Steve is feeling things he’s never felt before. He sees Eddie in ways that never really occurred to him before all this.
Before Eddie was gay.
Before Eddie started going home with random douchebags named Alex and ditching Steve for the night, maybe he’s just jealous that he won’t get to spend as much time with Eddie now that he’s dating more than him.
Steve wonders what Eddie and Alex’s evening will look like. Steve’s not the most familiar with what happens when two men hook up, but he knows enough to imagine.
He wonders what kind of kisser Eddie is when he’s not playing Spin the Bottle. Steve had only gotten a small taste, less than ten seconds.
Maybe Eddie likes it sweet, a gentle slide of lips that slowly builds to something more heated and intense. Soft, wandering hands that caress and pleasure his partner carefully until they’re crying out in ecstasy.
Or would he be rough and hurried, planting wet, opened-mouth kisses all over his partner's body? Using his large, rough hands to position him however he wants. Forcing them to take what he gives them.
Or would it be the other way around, would Eddie want to be held down? Wrist restrained above his head while he’s fucked hard and fast, incoherent babble spilling from his lips.
Steve finds himself not caring either way as he feels a searing heat burn a hole in his gut.
He’s snapped free from that dangerous line of thought by the sound of crashing metal, causing him to let out the most unmanly of shrieks as he nearly jumps out of his skin. He looks over to find a small ball of fur sitting on the ground next to a group of trash cans.
“Fuck you, you stupid raccoon! Can’t you see I’m having a goddamn crisis here? What the hell, dude,” Steve yells as he flails his arms all around. The raccoon just sits there, staring at him, and he swears it looks amused.
Steve suddenly charges towards the animal, screaming like a banshee. But he misjudged how drunkenly dizzy he was, because next thing he knows, he’s stumbling forward, falling flat on his face.
“What the hell are you doing, dingus?” Robin’s here now. When did that happen?
“Don’t ask, Robs”
“Alright, buddy, let’s get you home.”
Once Robin helps him stand, arm wrapped around him for support; they start the short walk back to Steve’s apartment.
“Robin?”
“What, Steve?”
“Is it possible for me to be gay?”
“I’m too drunk for this.”
-
Steve wakes up the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bacon. He’s in his bed, somehow, even though he barely remembers how he got here. The last thing he remembers is yelling at a raccoon, then chasing it, and subsequently almost knocking himself out.
He lets out a pained groan as he rolls himself out of bed, stumbling into a pair of sweatpants and shuffling into the kitchen.
When he enters, he sees Robin with a pair of tongs in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. She turns to him, giving him a small smile before pointing to the table where a plate of bacon and eggs sits, alongside a steaming cup of coffee.
He sits down, taking a large gulp from his cup. And just as he’s starting to nibble at his eggs, Robin comes over with a plate of her own and sits, giving him an expectant look.
“Robin, I don’t know what you’re about to ask me about, but it’s too goddamn early, and I am too hungover to try and deal with it this morning,” Steve says a bit harshly. But Robin is used to his bitchiness in the mornings, so it barely phases her.
“Listen, dingus, you said something last night that’s got me just a little concerned. So I need to figure this out before I freak out,” she says before taking a deep breath and looking him right in the eyes. “You asked me, and I quote, ‘Is it possible for me to be gay?’ And that got me wondering, what in fresh hell could’ve caused the one person on this planet I thought I really knew to question himself like that.”
“Then I thought about the past couple of months, how you’ve responded to Eddie coming out. Then I thought about the party, that kiss , and the look on your face when you saw Eddie with Alex.” She then reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear, smiling softly at him with this look in her eyes that is far too wise and understanding for someone her age.
“Is there something you need to tell me, Steve?”
And honestly, Steve’s so fucking confused right now it’s a little dizzying. Is there something he needs to tell Robin? He thinks about last night again and the spiral of thought he had as he was walking home. He thinks back over the months since Eddie came out, and about the way he let his eyes and mind wander.
How he felt seeing Eddie with Alex last night, the rage and nausea that filled him.
But it can’t be.
There’s no way.
“Not that I can think of. Honestly, Rob, I think I’m just a little confused. Like, it’s been months since I’ve gotten laid, so that has to be it, right?” He asks as he looks down at his eggs while he moves them around his plate, “I’m also just lonely, and seeing all my friends in a relationship, or at least hooking up, is bound to get to me. Right??”
When he looks up at her, her face is carefully blank, which is… not the look he expected.
He expected her to yell at him, or be annoyed, or give him shit, laugh in his face even. Anything but this. It’s such an out-of-character response from her he’s not quite sure what to do.
“Well, you love Reddit, don’t you? At least you love those TikToks of the crazy stories I always send you. Why don’t you make a post there? Get some outside, unbiased opinions on your situation here.” She says with a sweet smile; too sweet. Robin is never this sweet.
“I mean, I guess. It would help to see what other people have to say-”
“Perfect! I gotta run, shopping date with Chrissy and Nance. But let me know how that goes!” She says as she abruptly stands, chugging the rest of her coffee and walking out the door without another word.
-
r/advice
“I’m not gay, but I think I am in love with my roommate.”
I (23 male) have lived with my best friend and roommate (24 male) since we met during our freshmen year of college, let’s call him Joe. Joe is my closest guy friend and since we live together, we’re basically inseparable. He is literally one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met and has really helped me grow into my true self.
Joe’s gay and just recently came out to me a couple months ago. And while I don’t hate him now by any means, I can’t help but view him in a completely different light. I’m honestly kind of shocked Joe’s not taken yet, he’s so kind and caring and full of love to give. He has two cats he brought from home, Ozzy (a grumpy black cat) and Judas (an energetic orange one) that he treats like actual human children but they’re cute, so I don’t mind.
Joe’s also an objectively good-looking guy, not like Chris Evan/Henry Cavill attractive, more in that alternative sort of way. He’s got a nice lean and toned body, and I sometimes catch myself glancing at him for a little longer than may be appropriate. Joe also has this habit of chewing on his hair or twirling his rings when he’s nervous, which I shouldn’t find as cute as I do.
And before anyone gets on my case, I’m positive I’m not gay. I’ve had several serious girlfriends in the past, one I nearly proposed to. I have never been interested in guys before, so I think this may just be my loneliness from being single for so long and latching onto the best friend I’ve ever had.
I just need an unbiased opinion here, thanks!
Comment Section (186)
u/CantStopEdging69: My guy, I want you to be so fucking fr right now
u/s.harrington99: What?
u/CantStopEdging69: *loudest of sighs*
u/SquirtzWorld: DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT
u/s.harrington99: What the hell does that even mean?
u/SquirtzWorld: Bless your heart
u/lilfruity86: Have you ever heard of bisexual?
u/Squirtz_World: Or even pansexual
u/s.harrington99: Yeah of course I have
u/lilfruity86: Oh man…
u/hurricanetorilla: Okay I am going to be as gentle about this as possible. Straight people do not check out or have romantic feelings for their friend of the same gender. Are you in therapy by any chance? Or have a trusted friend you can talk to? Anyone who knows you well and will be completely honest with you. Maybe consider talking to them about this.
u/s.harrington99: I spoke to my best friend about this, she told me to come here and see what reddit had to say about it.
u/hurricanetorilla: Then if I were you, I’d pay very close attention to what everyone here is saying.
-
Steve throws his phone down with a huff because if he looked at the damn screen for another second, he was going to lose his mind.
He knew that stupid Reddit post was a bad idea; all the comments are confusing the hell out of him. Why would Robin even tell him to post there? Everyone was being so vague and making weird references he’s never even heard before.
But his head feels like it’s about to explode because none of this makes any fucking sense. Steve can’t be gay. He’d been in love with Nancy, considered marrying her even. Of course, she broke his heart, but before it shattered, he’d loved her. So why does he feel this way?
Sure, Eddie’s hot. You’d have to be an idiot not to see it. With his long curls, tattoo-covered body, and wide doe eyes, even Robin has said that Eddie's gorgeous. And he’s hilarious, but that’s just a simple fact. Everyone finds Eddie highly entertaining, with his over-the-top dramatics and incessant need to make people around him laugh and feel comfortable. It would be harder not to love the guy, but that doesn’t mean Steve has gay feelings for him.
He’s definitely just lonely as hell after nearly two years of being single and over eight months since he’s gotten laid. Yeah, that has to be it. Screw Reddit, he knows himself better than anyone. He just needs to have sex and maybe snuggle a little bit afterward. Then all this confusion will go away, and things can go back to normal.
-
Walking back to his apartment, Steve recalls how the night has gone so far.
He’d gone out to a local club just down the street from his place, got a little drunk, and danced with a pretty brunette named Alice. She felt familiar with her curly hair and tattoos, but Steve was just drunk enough that he was able to ignore all of that. And when she leaned in and whispered ‘wanna take me back to your place’ hot and husky into his ear, all other thoughts leave his brain as he drags her home.
So when he pushed open the door, Alice latched onto his neck. He didn’t even think twice as she shoved him against it and began nipping and sucking along his throat. Steve threw his head back against the door with a thud, letting out a breathy moan as she squeezed him through his jeans. Her skilled fingers made quick work of his zipper, yanking down his pants and underwear in one swift movement and almost immediately swallowing him down.
God, he needed this. This had been the longest he’s gone since high school, and Alice was just what the doctor ordered. Stupid hot, a little bossy, and knows exactly what she’s doing. And when she pulls off to quickly ask you like your ass played with, he thanks whatever deity may be out there that he found this girl tonight.
Once he gives a jerky nod, she lifts his leg so one of his knees is resting on her shoulder. Steve whines high in his throat as she rubs over his hole with slick fingers while she begins to bob her head in earnest. It’s as he’s lacing his fingers through her hair, opening his eyes to look down and watch Alice as she takes him apart, that he realizes this feels wrong.
Because he’s imagining someone else on their knees in front of him. Someone else with long, dark curly hair. Someone who also has dozens of tattoos littering their body. Someone who, until just now, he hasn’t fully allowed himself to want.
Someone that, once he looks up, is looking directly at him with wide, shocked eyes.
“Oh my god, shit! ” Steve curses as he scrambles to pull his pants back up. Alice stumbles back, looking very confused, but then turns around and giggles when she sees the reason for his abrupt change of mood.
“Hey Eddie, fuck, I am so sorry, man! I hadn’t planned on bringing anyone home tonight,” Steve rushes to say, “I got a little drunk and didn’t even think about this being your night off.”
Eddie stands there, in his Garfield pj pants and ripped to hell Judas Priest shirt, and just stares at them. He’s white as a sheet, maybe even a little green. Because he looks like he’s about to puke.
“It’s, uh, it’s alright,” Eddie says in a strangled tone, looking down at his bare feet. “I-I can just go stay at Jeff's tonight. Not a big deal. Not a big deal at all. Just give me like 5 minutes to get some stuff,” Eddie babbles out quickly as he yanks on the end of his ponytail. He doesn’t move from his spot though, as he looks back up to the scene in front of him.
“Um, Steve, hate to interrupt. But he doesn’t need to leave, not if he doesn’t want to,” Alice's voice breaks Steve from his spell as he glances down at her, a wicked smirk on her swollen lips.
“What?” Steve and Eddie say at the same time. Alice giggles again, standing up and strutting over to Eddie, placing one silver decorated hand on his chest.
“I went out tonight with the intention of having a good time, and you two seem like you’d be perfect for the job,” she shamelessly says as she glances between them, a curious look on her face.
“WHAT? NO! Why would you say that?” Steve blurts out, a little shocked at her suggestion. But then he lets himself think about it, about what that would look like, how that would happen. And he feels his dick twitch in interest. Oh shit .
Steve looks at Eddie, and sees a deep blush blooming across his face. He must look angry because Eddie suddenly looks scared. He laughs forcefully, looking back at Alice.
“Y-yeah, um, no disrespect milady, because you’re stunning. But I’m a homosexual, and Stevie here’s my best friend. Not exactly my idea of a good time,” Eddie says, his eyes suddenly finding his bare feet fascinating.
“So? You fuck Steve; Steve fucks me. Win-win. Clearly, he’s up for it,” Alice says with a shrug as she turns and gives Steve a knowing look.
Eddie's head jerks sharply in her direction, jaw dropping open and eyes somehow going even wider. He then looks over at Steve, his face pinched and unreadable, and quickly turns back to Alice.
“Absolutely not. Hell no! Really not trying to yuck your yum sister, I’m a feminist, after all, but that’s never going to happen. First off, Steve’s straight. Obviously. Second, he’s like my brother and the idea of fucking my brother is not a fun one for me,” Eddie says, his voice gaining a shrill quality as he keeps going, his hands flying around wildly between the three of them.
He turns to make eye contact with Steve again as he gently pushes Alice's away and begins walking back to his room, “I’m gonna grab my stuff and head out, Steve, let you two have some privacy. Sorry for interrupting.” Eddie's voice is strained, rough. He looks furious, red-faced and annoyed.
And with that, Eddie's bedroom door swings shut. Steve’s frozen in place, eyes unfocused as he tries to think of what the hell to say. He hadn’t expected being so thoroughly rejected by Eddie to hurt so damn much. Not that Steve had expected him to want to sleep with him. Just because Eddie likes guys doesn’t mean he’s attracted to Steve. But it feels like he’s been punched in the gut, his chest is aching, and he suddenly feels a little sick. Is the thought of having sex with Steve really that repulsive to Eddie?
Steve turns to Alice, who looks a little humiliated. And fucking hell, now he feels like absolute shit. This poor girl just wanted to have a good time tonight, and here he is, dragging her into his bullshit. Just as she looks like she’s about to say something, Eddie bursts through his door with an overnight bag and his laptop. He rushes to the front door, mumbling a quick ‘be home around noon’ before slamming the door behind him.
It’s in the silence that follows that Steve realizes he is, in fact, a moron. Before this whole clusterfuck, Eddie was the person he was the most comfortable with in the entire world. (Well, besides Robin. But Steve and Robin are basically conjoined twins, so that doesn’t really count.)
They knew each other's routines, and what to look out for when the other was having a bad day. Favorite foods, music, movies, and shows. All their weird little quirks, like how Eddie needs to shower first in the morning because of some article he read that convinced him he would get bronchitis if he showered second (don’t ask, Steve still doesn’t fully understand this one.) Or how he collects his beard hair when he shaves and uses it to fertilize his plants because he saw it in a TikTok, and it just stuck.
They also know each other's deepest, darkest secrets and insecurities.
Like how Steve was basically raised by a revolving door of nannies from ages 6 to 12, but once he hit 13, his parents decided he was old enough to take care of himself. How he started intentionally hurting himself, just to see if his parents would give a shit like ‘falling’ off his bike and spraining his wrist, or slicing his finger open while trying to cook himself dinner. All that got him was no bike and a freezer full of frozen dinners.
So he started upping the stakes more and more. Until eventually, he almost died when he wrapped his car around a tree. He broke his right tibia and shattered his collar bone, and was laid up in the hospital for a week. But even that wasn’t enough to get his parents to come home. All they did was pay the hospital bills and berate him over the phone for being so careless and totaling his nice car that they had spent so much of their hard-earned money on.
Or how Eddie's mom overdosed in front of him when he was 5, while he screamed and cried for her to please wake up Mommy, I don’t like this, please . His dad blamed him for that, just like he’d blamed him for everything else in his miserable life. Beat Eddie ruthlessly until the day the old bastard finally keeled over from alcohol poisoning when Eddie was 11. Wayne adopted him after that, treated him like his own, and gave him everything he had with what little money he made.
But Eddie was still beaten, except now it was the kids at school that wailed on him instead of his dad. Black eyes and busted noses, bruised ribs and stubbed fingers. It got so bad Eddie started skipping school 2-3 times a week, which caused him to get so far behind he failed all his classes and had to repeat his senior year twice. He eventually learned the best way to get them to leave him alone was to be so weird that it was scary. It became his armor, and he still wears it even now.
Eddie told him he’d never told another living soul about just how awful his childhood was. And neither had Steve. But it had just felt so right to tell Eddie everything that had been locked inside him for so long because Eddie felt safe. Like home. Like the piece that had been missing Steve’s entire life.
They know each other so well, inside and out. The good and the bad. How could Steve not see it before? Fuck , he really is a moron.
“I am so sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t have pushed it; that was totally my fault. I cannot believe I did that. I’m not normally like that, but my boyfriend just dumped me, and my friends told me to have a good time and be impulsive tonight. But I shouldn’t have pushed it. Please tell him I’m sorry!” She’s starting to tear up, and Steve cannot take it anymore.
“None of this is your fault. I’m the idiot here. I went out tonight looking for a hookup to try and take my mind off… some stuff. I’m having a bit of a crisis as of late, and instead of facing my feelings like an adult, I did this,” he gestures with flailing hands around him, “and dragged you into my mess. I’ll pay for you to catch an Uber home. Or you can sleep here, and I’ll crash on the couch.”
Steve’s never felt quite this small in his entire life. In his quest to get Eddie out of his head, he’s all but confirmed what the sinking feeling he’s had for months actually is.
Steve is in love with Eddie. Steve wants to have sex with Eddie. He wants to cuddle him and make him happy, love him the way no one else has been brave enough to. Show him just how vibrant and incredible and beautiful he really is.
“I’m gonna puke,” Steve blurts suddenly as he sprints to the bathroom, tripping on nothing and nearly falling on his face as he goes. He barely makes it to the toilet before he completely empties his stomach of its contents.
It’s as he’s finishing, panting and sweaty, that he allows himself to cry for the first time in years. Purges himself of every emotion he’s felt burning a hole inside of him until he just feels numb and sore.
Goddammit , what is he going to do now?
-
Alice decided she was too tired to bother with going home, so Steve set her up in his room with a glass of water and some Tylenol. Told her to stay as long as she needed, apologized about a dozen more times, and passed out on the couch.
He woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, itchy eyes, and an ache in his chest.
It all seems so obvious in retrospect. The fuzzy feelings when he saw Eddie smile, the ache he felt when Eddie was sad, the simmering heat felt low in his gut when he caught glimpses of the pale expanse of Eddie's skin. Those are generally not feelings to have about your platonic best friend, hammered home even harder when he takes his feelings for Robin into account.
Steve groans in irritation at his thoughts as he stands in the kitchen brewing coffee. Looking over at the stove, he sees it’s already nearing noon, meaning Eddie is going to be home soon, and he does not have the strength to have this conversation right now.
It’s all just so frustrating. He almost wishes, for five selfish seconds, that Eddie had never come out to him. Then nothing would have changed. Everything would still be as it always had been. Routine, comfortable, safe . But then Eddie had to go and discover himself and complicate Steve's entire, quiet little life. They were supposed to find good girls together, get married together, have kids, and be each other's godparents. It had all been so clear-cut and simple, and this is anything but.
But then Steve thinks about the difference in Eddie these past few months. He’s been so carefree, so unapologetically gay, so himself. It makes Steve angry, but not at Eddie, at himself. If he hadn’t been such a repressed jock idiot, he could’ve had this all sorted months ago. But no, he continued to do what he always does. Push it all down until he almost couldn’t feel it, then went and got drunk and tried to hook up with some poor girl who had nothing to do with any of this.
God, he’s such a dick.
But now that he’s allowed himself to think of Eddie in a non-platonic way, he sees that he already has everything he’s ever wanted. A partner he loves and respects, someone he could see himself having kids with because they’ve already been surrogate co-parents to a pack of nerds for the past five years. Someone he works so well with in nearly everything, whether that be on what to watch on movie nights or deciding on what’s for dinner.
They are so incredibly different, but it’s like they were made for each other. Steve was never good at showing his emotions or affection until he met Eddie. Eddie’s so free and giving with his love, and it was hard for Steve to deny Eddie what he so easily gave to everyone around him. Eddie was always so anxious and would become frantic at the tiniest bump in the road. Steve has always been able to stay level-headed and calm in those moments, guiding Eddie and helping him see that it’s not the end of the world.
But even in the small mundane things, they are so perfectly matched. Steve loves to cook but hates doing the dishes; Eddie physically can’t cook but finds the task of doing the dishes relaxing. Eddie is not a morning person and needs at least two cups of coffee to function, but Steve loves mornings, so he always has a fresh cup waiting for Eddie when he wakes up. Steve doesn’t eat his pizza crust; Eddie could eat just the crust dipped in ranch. Steve loves the long floppy fries, and Eddie prefers the short crunchy ones.
They are the definition of yin and yang, made to look so different but fit together to make one whole.
Eddie’s his soulmate, his missing piece.
The love of his life.
How did it take him this long to see it?
It’s at this thought that the front door starts to jiggle and then slowly open. Eddie's mop of curls tentatively appears, and as they make eye contact, Steve's heart breaks in two. Eddie's eyes are bloodshot and puffy like he cried himself to sleep last night, and the large purple bags underneath actually look painful. He’s standing there like a dog with its tail between its legs, coming back to his owner after he knows he’s done something wrong.
“Hey Steve, hope you had a good night,” Eddie says with what is probably the biggest smile he can muster, which only causes his face to look pinched and pained. Then he softly shuts the door behind him and starts making his way toward his bedroom.
Steve acts before he can think and reaches out to grab Eddie's wrist. Eddie turns sharply at the sudden contact, and they just stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Steve’s not sure what Eddie sees, but all he can see in Eddie’s eyes are fear and dread, like a lamb being led to slaughter. And Steve is quite frankly sick of seeing the love of his life so terrified.
He steels himself, jaw setting in determination as he slowly starts to move his hand up Eddie’s arm. Eddie’s eyes shoot down to where Steve's hand is now holding his elbow, then back up to his face when Steve gives a soft tug.
“Do you really mean that, Eddie?” Steve asks, already knowing the answer.
“What?” Eddie squeaks, looking back down when Steve starts to make small circles on Eddie’s inner arm.
“Do you really hope that I had a good night?”
Eddie looks up into Steve’s eyes and then quickly down to the floor, “Of course.”
“See, the thing is, I don’t think you do, Eds,” Steve says as his hand starts to migrate upwards.
“What? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Eddie says as he continues to stare at the floor.
Steve's hand is still moving up Eddie's arm, rubbing back and forth as he goes. He slides over the slope of Eddie’s shoulder, feeling the muscles tense under his finger as he massages them gently.
“Eddie, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” Steve says, moving his hand to the back of Eddie's neck. He can feel the soft curls beneath his fingers, and he starts to scratch at the base of Eddie's hairline.
It’s then that Eddie finally looks back up into Steve’s eyes. The fear from before is still there, but there’s something else there now. Something that looks a lot like cautious hope.
Steve lets his eyes flick down to Eddie’s lips, watching as his pink tongue darts out to moisten his puffy, dry lips. He looks back up into Eddie’s eyes and catches him doing the same.
The air between them is thick, tension building as Steve curls his fingers ever so tighter into Eddie's hair. Eddie’s eyes flutter closed as he grips Steve’s bicep with one hand, the other clenched tightly into a fist at his side. Steve reaches for it with his free hand, easing the trembling fingers apart with gentle but sure movements.
“Steve, please,” Eddie pleads as his eyes fly open, looking at Steve with such raw vulnerability that Steve nearly crumbles.
It’s as he’s starting to cautiously lean forward, wanting nothing more than to taste Eddie’s lips on his, that he hears his bedroom door open and a faint oh come from last night's house guest.
It takes Eddie a moment to register what’s going on, but once he does, he’s flinching away from Steve’s touch as though it burns. He stares at Alice with wide hurt eyes and then practically sprints to his room.
“Goddammit,” Steve huffs as his hands reach up to grip the roots of his hair.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Steve. I had no idea he would be home already,” Alice says in a small, apologetic voice. Then Steve looks down at what she’s wearing and then at what he’s wearing. He groans as he throws his head back because now it all looks so much worse.
She’s still wearing the borrowed clothes Steve gave to her last night. One of his old HHS Swim team shirts, along with some boxers he never really wears. Her hair is ruffled, her makeup artfully smeared, and she somehow still looks just as good as she did when Steve met her in the club last night. She looks thoroughly debauched, which is really, really not good for Steve right now.
“It’s alright, Alice. You need me to order you an Uber?”
“No, my friend is coming to get me. But thank you, Steve, you’ve been way too sweet about all this. Hope everything works out with you and-”
She stops, gesturing towards Eddie’s door.
“Thanks, it’s not looking too great at the moment,” Steve says, rubbing his palms down his face.
“I’m sure everything will be fine. With the way he was looking at you, there’s no way he’s not head over heels.”
And hearing that from a complete stranger, somehow gives Steve the confidence he desperately needs to tell Eddie everything.
…
Once Alice is dressed, fed, and headed out the door when her friend arrives, Steve steels himself for the conversation ahead.
If he’s being honest with himself, this may be the most terrifying thing he’s ever had to do. Facing his best friends of over five years, whom he just realized he was in love with less than an hour ago, and now has to explain that he did not sleep with some random woman last night.
Walking up to Eddie’s bedroom door, he takes a deep breath and shakes himself.
He can do this .
“Hey, Eds, we need to talk about this,” He says, tapping lightly on the door before he pushes it open. However, the sight he sees when he enters the room nearly breaks him in two.
Eddie is lying on his side, curled up into a tight coil, facing the wall. His blanket is pulled up and over his shoulders, with just the top of his head poking through. And if Steve listens close enough, he can hear the telltale sound of quiet sniffles coming from him.
This is all Steve’s fault, and he has to make this right.
“Eddie, I know you’re upset with me. And you have every right to be. But I just need to explain myself before-”
“No, no, no, hell no, Harrington. You don’t get to pull this shit on me!” Eddie yells as he suddenly springs up from the bed. His face is so puffy, his eyes bloodshot and miserable.
“What is it, huh? Some sort of challenge to see how far you can push me? Get a good laugh, fake flirting with the gay guy. Is that what this all is? Because I gotta tell ya, Steve, I never expected this from you.” Eddie finishes with a glare that makes Steve want to wilt.
“What? No, Eddie, hell no! Why would I ever do that to you?”
“I’ve been asking myself that same fucking question for months. It’s like you’ve completely changed the way you act around me now that I’ve come out. I don’t understand Stevie; this isn’t like you. You’re not this cruel. Please, please, please tell me there is some other explanation for all this. Because my heart cannot take it anymore.”
Steve just stares at him for a moment, the beautiful broken man in front of him. The sadness in his eyes, the crackle in his voice, and the tremble of his hands. All Steve wants to do is wrap him in his arms and never let him go, because he never wants to see his Eddie in this much despair ever again.
“I love you, Eddie,” he says in a quiet voice. And there it is, finally spoken aloud.
Eddie’s face does something indiscernible, but then chuckles awkwardly before saying, “Of course you do; I’m your best friend.”
“No, Eddie,” Steve says, this time with more conviction, “I love you.”
And for the first time, since Steve’s known him, Eddie is utterly speechless.
“It took me way too long to realize it, and it scares the shit out of me, but it’s the most real thing I have ever felt in my entire life. I’ve been so weird because, for whatever reason, finding out you were gay just made something click in my brain. It made me realize just how much you mean to me.”
“I want you, Eds. More than I’ve ever wanted another person in my life. I want to kiss you, feel your heartbeat beneath my palm, the feeling of your legs tangled with mine.”
He’s stepping forward now, lowering himself to his knees in front of Eddie as he reaches up to grab his hand.
“I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street together, showing everyone that we belong together. Because seeing you with Alex, made me want to explode. The thought of another man getting his hands on you was suddenly my worst nightmare come true.”
“And I want to have kids with you, grow old with you, argue about where to retire with you. Because when I imagine the rest of my life, the only constant is you.”
He’s pleading with Eddie here, begging him to believe everything he’s saying.
“I’m in love with you.”
For a moment, Eddie just stares, his face almost unreadable.
And the next, Eddie is lunging forward, crushing his lips to Steve’s.
This kiss is different from their last one, much more rushed and desperate. Full of pent up emotion and desire after years of holding back.
When they finally separate, Eddie looks at Steve with such awe and wonder that it makes his breath stutter.
“I have wanted to do that for so goddamn long, you have no idea,” Eddie says, resting his forehead against Steve’s.
“I think I may have some idea,” Steve says before he’s kissing Eddie again, this time with much more purpose.
He climbs up onto the bed, laying his body over Eddie’s. He wraps his arms around him, burying his fingers in Eddie’s soft curls. He slots himself between Eddie’s thighs, pressing them as close as possible. He slips his tongue into Eddie’s mouth, licking the back of his teeth, entangling their tongues. It’s wet, messy, and just about the most incredible thing Steve’s ever experienced.
He can feel Eddie getting hard beneath him, so Steve grinds his hips down into him. And when he rubs their erections together, Eddie breaks away from the kiss, throwing his head back with a breathy moan. The motion exposes the long line of his neck, and Steve cannot resist.
He dives down, attaching his lips to the pale expanse of skin before him. Licking up until he reaches Eddie’s ear, Steve stops to suck his earlobe into his mouth before releasing it with a wet pop.
“Is this okay, Eds?” Steve whispers into Eddie’s ear, nibbling at the shell of it.
“Yeah, yes, oh my god, yes, please don’t ever stop,” Eddie says in a shaky voice, grappling and scratching at Steve’s back for just anything to hold on to.
“Never stop, huh? I don’t know, Eds, my stamina isn't bad, but even for me, that’s a lot to ask,” Steve replies cheekily, kissing Eddie’s temple before recapturing his lips in a sweet kiss. “But I’ll try.”
He begins a slow, but constant grind. Working different angles to find what feels best for Eddie. It’s not easy, the friction of their clothes is not nearly enough for what they really want, but they’re both too eager to bother removing their pants. They’ll have more time for skin to skin soon.
He finally finds what he’s looking for when he aligns his hips just so, lifting Eddie’s knee just a little before reaching around to hold his lower back. A high, pleased keen escapes Eddie’s throat, and soon he’s arching up to meet Steve’s thrust.
Steve’s head is spinning; he almost can’t believe this is happening. Twelve hours ago, he was convinced he was just straight and lonely, and now here he is, making love to his best friend.
They move together in perfect rhythm, drawing beautiful sounds from one another. Rocking together just like that for a while, not really in any rush to finish, but just enjoying each other's bodies. Steve peppers kisses across Eddie’s nose, his cheeks, his cupid's bow. A constant stream of I love you’s spoken against warm skin.
And when they finally finish, it’s together in a lovely symphony of pleasure and lust and love. They stay just like that for a while before stripping their soiled clothes and wrapping themselves up in one another’s warmth, tangling their limbs together so tightly you can’t tell where one begins and the other ends.
A little while later, Eddie looks up at Steve with a sly grin stretched across his face.
“Never took you for the possessive type, Stevie,” Eddie says, pressing a kiss to the underside of Steve’s jaw.
Steve can feel himself blush as he tries to come up with an excuse, “I- I swear I’m not E-” Steve is cut off by a press of Eddie’s fingers against his lips.
“It’s ok, baby. I actually kind of love it.” He presses a chaste kiss against Steve’s lips for reassurance. “I never even hooked up with Alex ended up at Chrissy’s crying into her shoulder about never finding love.”
And Steve almost worries, but Eddie’s still grinning up at him with that beautiful glint in his eyes as he says it, so he’s not too concerned.
“I didn’t sleep with Alice either, just didn’t want to make her go home that late while she was drunk,” Steve says, looking Eddie in the eye as he strokes his cheek with his thumb.
“Well, aren’t you a sweetheart,” Eddie replies, nuzzling into Steve’s hand.
Eddie ducks his head under Steve’s chin, rubbing his nose along his neck.
“I love you so much, Stevie.”
“I love you too, Eds.”
And as Steve drifts off to sleep, he can’t help but wonder what exactly he did to deserve this much happiness.
The End
Epilogue
Announcing their relationship went much smoother than either Steve or Eddie expected. There weren’t many questions this time, just knowing looks and goofy grins.
“I’m so happy for you both!”
Ellie had said this, always the sweetest of the brats.
“You two were basically dating already, just without all the fun stuff.”
This one was from Max, and Steve had to contain himself as Eddie just stared at her with false annoyance.
“So does this mean you’ll now have joint custody of Ozzy and Judas?”
Dustin asked this, claiming he should get to be godfather of the felines if Steve would now be coparent.
“Does this mean we can all have, like, a group sex circle? Because I’ve kinda wanted to bone you two since we met.”
Argyle had said this after one too many joints, causing everyone to burst into fits of laughter. But Argyle stayed completely serious as he said, “I’m not kidding, dudes.”
But probably the most shocking of all was Robin’s comment made to Steve while they were out for their monthly lunch together.
“I always knew you two would find your way together, I’ve been ‘shipping’ you for years now. Anyone who looked at you knew there was something special there.” And she’d said it so casually and with such certainty that it took Steve a moment to process.
“No, you did not, you’re so full of shit Robs.”
But then she proceeded to prove him wrong by pulling up a snap memory from 2019. It was a picture of Steve and Eddie sitting together on their couch with their shoulders pressed together. Steve was looking down at Eddie’s phone, laughing at whatever ridiculous things he must have been showing him.
But Eddie was looking at Steve a dopey grin and sparkling eyes as he gazed at him like he was the only person in the room.
God, how did it take them this long to realize?
And in big, bold letters across the bottom of the picture read “Future Mr. and Mr. Munson-Harrington” with a scattering of hearts and kissy faces around it.
“Wow, I’m not sure what I’m more shocked by. Your apparent psychic skills, or the fact that you think ‘Munson’ would go first.”
“Oh shut up, you dunderhead!”