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Lucy reached for another napkin, wiped her four year olds face for what feels like at least the fortieth time, adding the napkin to the ever growing trash pile. She silently cursed herself for taking the shortcut back from the stadium's restroom as right across from it set the chocolate ice cream her daughter just had to have which is now leading to the mess of sticky stains and fingers on her and the bleachers and of course Noah. After four years of being Noah's mom, she still couldn't say no to her wife's mini me, the whistler women were her greatest weakness which meant ice cream messes on 90 degree days were par for the course now. Now as eyes that wrinkled and were the same hue as her mothers smiled back at her she's again reminded that this is the best life, messes and all.
Today's humidity was higher than normal much like the temperature and with no wind in sight, Kate, who is eight months pregnant with their son opted to forgo the baseball game together stay home and unpack boxes in their newly purchased forever home. Uncle Ernie taking Kate's ticket to spend time with his best friend and goddaughter. They found themselves at the bottom of the seventh inning with Lucy in a deep and distracting conversation with Ernie about why she and Kate would not be naming their son Ernie or any variation of his name. She was on reason five when she faintly heard the crack of the bat, a collective breath by the crowd which made her look up in time to see the foul ball heading right towards Noah.
Lucy threw her left non dominant hand at the incoming ball to try and protect her baby, her Noah. To Lucy time slowed to a crawl as everything happened, Noah's screamed, dropping her ice cream splattering everywhere, the ball hit off the tips off Lucy's pointer and middle fingers sending temporary intense blinding pain through her hand and forearm and then the pain was cut with a sound that sent a rock into her gut. Noah was hurt and the scream that's left young Noah's body was a sound that would never leave Lucy's mind again. Ignoring the throbbing in her own hand, Lucy looks down to see a four inch laceration near Noah's eye and blood profusely pouring from the cut. Acting purely on instinct, she swept Noah into her arms blood soaking through her team t-shirt, whispering platitudes to her baby and she tried to clean to blood heavy hair out of Noah's face and seeing the cut up close reality sunk in, she had failed in her life's mission, her mission to keep her daughter safe.
The cut might as well been the size of the Grand Canyon and the blood with the flow of the Colorado river as she and Ernie ran through the stadium to get into her car so she could help Noah now, like she failed to do just seconds before. With every running step Lucy made it seemed as Noah's screams got louder, the blood heavier, with every step Lucy took towards getting Noah help, she was also hurting her, again. Lucy and Ernie were stopped by stadium personnel at the gate, Noah still clinging onto Lucy terrified and begging for her Mama. Ernie speaks to the staff still blocking their exit as Lucy tries to reassure Noah that she will see her Mama, she sees Ernie grab a towel from the attendant and walked towards her, handing it to Lucy for Noah's still bleeding head wound and all resume their dash to the car.
Quickly and just shy of jumping into the backseat with Noah, she tosses her keys to Ernie and desperately tries to release Noah's tight blood soak grip on Lucy's top so she can place her into her car seat. It takes seven attempts, thousands of tears from both mother and daughter, a pleading prayer, and a promise of her Mama before Noah is safe in the carseat, and they're driving to the children's hospital with a firm amount of pressure still being applied to Noah's forehead.
It feels like hours, days even but in reality only thirteen minutes from crack of the bat until when Ernie is pulling up to the front of the ER. Lucy hurriedly gets out of the car with a still crying but no longer screaming Noah and runs inside the ER as Ernie parks the car. Walking back to the entrance, Ernie makes a phone to Jane, for Jane to make sure Kate get here safely and without going into labor along the way.
Inside the ER Lucy's anxiety is climbing right along with the screams of her daughter that have started again, after the nurse placed them in a curtains area and started treating Noah, but Noah only wanted her Mama. Ernie was guided in and tried to distract Noah and Lucy was in her own head space about her failures and Noah's pain, she could swear she she heard Ernie mention something about Jane and then Kate, but before she could ask him about it, Noah again cried out for Kate and cuddled into Lucy spreading her blood, snot and tears everywhere she touched. In the second of peace with Noah curled into her finding some comfort in her Mommy, Lucy only saw her inability to protect, and keep safe her daughter, her mini Kate.
Meanwhile across town, the doorbell rings which stops Kate from unpacking the box of random items she and Lucy have collected over their near decade together. She wobbles as quick as she can over to the door after hearing the impatient second ring of the door bell, opening it to find her best friend standing on her porch. "I told Lucy I didn't need a babysitter and I was not going into labor today, I'm sorry she sent you out this way for nothing." Kate said to Jane missing the sad look on her face and eyes as she was staring down rubbing her swollen belly. A soft whispered "Kate" from Jane has Kate jerking her head up at attention, she knows that tone, she's heard that tone before on a doorstep much like this one. Something is wrong, she knows, she can see it in Janes's eyes and before she can ask her knees go weak, her breath is shallow and Jane quickly holds up her to prevent her from hitting the ground and leads her to the nearest chair. Upon sitting Jane promptly says " everyone is ok but there was an incident at the game, Lucys' at the ER with Noah now, but they're ok.".
Taking a deep breath she repeats "they're ok" as she caressed her belly to calm her son, Lucy's son, Noah's brother down. Breathing a sigh of relief that this door knock is nothing like her last door knock with a different Noah Whistler. "Take me to them" is all she can think to say to Jane, she needs to see and hold her wife and daughter.
Within seconds Kate in riding shotgun in Jane's car racing towards the hospital. Rubbing her stomach she feels the very active boy moving around, promising, Dallas that they will see and hear his Mommy and sister soon,she quietly giggled to herself thinking of the name Dallas, everyday Lucy and Noah would pick a different town or city in Texas and use it as the boys name knowing Kate wouldn't allow that to be his name. Lucy had once told her that its a win win it teaches Noah all about Texas geography, lets them know where she came from and that for that day their son was not nameless. Today, today he was Dallas. In less than twenty minutes Kate and Jane side by side stand at the front desk seeking getting directions to Noah's room. The closer Kate gets, the more defined the sniffles and tears of her baby become and like a beacon she takes off following the sounds to swing open the curtain stopping and gasping at the scene before her. She takes in with careful watchful eyes both of her girls, tear stained faces, blood stained clothes and her heart breaks at the pain radiating off her two loves. Startled by the swing of the curtain both Noah and Lucy gasp and quickly look to find Kate and in the blink of an eye Noah reaches for Kate, and immediately Kate takes her into her arms gently swinging her side to side a motion that is both calming to Noah and healing to Kate. In the moment she can see, this Noah, her Noah will be fine and she can feel her world start spinning again with this reassurance.
It takes Kate several attempts to make eye contact with Lucy and as soon as she does Lucy drops her head, staring at the floor avoiding all other of Kate's tries. Kate wonders where Lucy has taken her mind to and what the cause of her pulling away and is worried for her wife but right here and right now her focus is on her daughter, she can worry about her wife later. After just a few minutes in her mama's arms, Noah is as calm as she has been all afternoon, she even looks as if she could sleep wrapped tight to Kate's chest. As her little heavy tired eyes start to close both the nurse and doctor walk in. Lucy moves to stand behind Kate and Noah in a protective stance, as both the doctor and nurse start to clean up the wound and make a treatment plan. Noah starts to whimpering again but quickly Kate calms her down so the doctor can proceed. Stitches will be needed and he wants a X-Ray to be sure no damage to the swollen eye socket has occurred. Both mothers agree to the treatment plan along with a sedative to help relax Noah both during the X-Ray and stitches. Noah was distracted by Kates voice and busy playing with her necklace she barely felt the injection of the sedative and in just a few moments Noah was asleep and being wheeled to X-Ray.
With Noah away it left Kate and Lucy alone and from Lucy's body language she could see her wife shutting down and pulling away, something she wouldn't allow because she needed her wife and Lucy needed Kate, they needed each other desperately bright now, their baby was hurt, she would be OK, but she was hurt nonetheless. Lucy breaks the silence before Kate can, "I need some air, I'm going outside" Kate gently grabbed Lucy's hand to stop her from leaving but immediately let go when Lucy winced and doubled over in pain. "Lucy babe, what's wrong, are you hurt, look at me please" Lucy stood straight looked into Kate's eyes and let her tears fall, Kate made a move to hold Lucy but she quickly held up her hand to stop here and that's when Kate saw the swollen, discolored, displaced knuckles and fingers on her wife's hand. "Luce, what happened to your hand babe?". Through her tears all Lucy could say was " I failed her, I failed you, I couldn't protect her, the ball went through my fingertips, and hit our daughter, injured our daughter because I wasn't fast enough, I failed her and this pain, my pain is what I deserve."
With a shaky breath Kate moved towards Lucy and held her. " Lucy my sweet this is not your fault, it was an accident and accidents happens, I don't blame you for this ". " well you should she got hurt on my watch she was with me, you trusted her with me and I failed you both. "
" well Lucy if that's the case then you should blame me for when she slammed her own fingers in the door three weeks ago, that was on my watch, do you blame me for that, for her tears and pain?".
"of course I don't baby"
"Then why do you blame yourself now, it was an accident."
"It feels different, I promised her the day she was born that I would protect her and keep her safe always, I only made it four years before I broke that promise"
"Lucy I fear you have tasked yourself with the impossible, you can't protect them from life but you can be there to pick them up from what life throws at them, like today you literally nearly gave your hand for her then forgoing all you pain focused on her and got her here safely and held here through all her pain, you didn't fail her, you once again proved that mommy will always be there for her"
"Thanks baby, you always know what to say, I love you"
" I love you too very much, now let's get your hand looked at, those fingers are too important to be permanently damaged". Kate said with a wink as Lucy laughed drying her tears.
Lucy was led across the hospital to be treated while Kate stayed and waited with Noah. As the doctor was finishing the brace for Lucy's hand, she heard the most beautiful sound, she heard Noah calling out for her...."mommy" the happiness stood in contrast to the sorrowful cries hours before and she couldn't help but bend down to scoop up her stitched up smiling daughter overlooking the pain in her hand again to still kisses from the sweetest face. As she entertained Noah the doctor gave Kate a rundown of her injuries, a fractured knuckled, dislocated index finger and strained wrist, heal time of four to six weeks, right around the same time, the newest little Texan was scheduled to make his debut. "mommy look we match" Noah said and she pointed to her eyebrow bandage and Lucy's fingertip bandaid.
Walking towards their car after spending hours in the ER, Noah demanded more "chocky ice cream", she dropped hers at the game before she could finish and then in a move she learned straight from Lucy, looked into Kate's eyes with her vest puppy dog eyes said " Pease mama, it will help my boo boo". Kate couldn't resist and immediately agreed and kissed her forehead buckled her in at headed towards ice cream. Kate reached over the console gently holding Lucy's hand while they both listened to Noah trying to sing take me out to the ballgame, she didn't know all the words but she definitely knows "peanuts and crack em jacks", both moms laughed as they headed down the road, they survived stitches and a broken hand, they could take a couple weeks to heal, then get ready for the chaos that comes in the form of a infant. Kate and Lucy smiled at each other lovingly ready to face whatever comes next, together, as always.