She's The Man

by ccc12

Summary:

When Coach Adriel tells Ava that she’s not good enough to compete in men’s volleyball, she does the next reasonable thing: dress up as her fraternal twin brother, Michael, enroll to his boarding school, try out for the men’s volleyball team there and defeat Coach Adriel’s team in the Inter-College Volleyball Competition.

or

The Avatrice She’s The Man au

Notes:

Instead of soccer, it's volleyball because I know volleyball more

Chapter 1: The ArqTech Warriors

Ava adjusts her 2010 Justin Bieber wig. It makes her scalp feel overheated, itchy and sweaty. Her shoes (two sizes too big on purpose) left muddy impressions on the grass. There has been a slight drizzle all morning. Ava considered that it may have been an omen, that she should drop her convoluted plan but all she had to do was remember what Coach Adriel said to her and her team. Her volleyball team was getting cut from the school because of budgetary reasons. When she suggested trying out for the men’s volleyball team, Coach Adriel sputtered a laugh. Quickly realizing that she was serious, he said, “Girls aren’t as fast as boys. Or as strong. Or as athletic.”

A furtive pit of embarrassment and shame swirled in her stomach, followed by a surge of anger so strong it could leak through her skin. 

So she asked Chanel to dress her up like her twin brother Michael. Their striking facial similarities was something she heard countless of times. Ether Michael only had to grow out his hair, or she only had to cut hers, and they would have looked alike.

Chanel protested fervently at first. Reasonably so, Ava would bitterly admit. But she convinced her in the end. “Unlimited treat of tater tots for five months,” Chanel proposed. 

Ava was able to haggle it down to three months. Worth it.

Which brings her to Michael’s school, ArqTech University. The rival school of Divinium University– her university, her home .

She felt like a dead man walking ArqTech’s cobblestone path, seeing its colors displayed prominently everywhere. The color combination that she has loathed for the past three years. Donning ArqTech’s uniform that fitted so wrong, not only because it was purposely loose on her, but because it felt like she was betraying her team, the Halo Bearers. 

Now she was carrying a duffle bag that had the ArqTech logo. Filled with statement shirts and baggy pants, strategically picked to hide her soft curves and to make her appear as boxy as possible.

Now she felt the full weight of her decision. She was really about to pose as a boy for a few weeks, going out of her way, deliberately inconveniencing herself just to prove a misogynist completely wrong–it made perfect sense.

The men’s dorm was exactly as she expected. Smelly and unkempt. Her nostrils were assaulted with odor from different areas of the body commingling together to form a stench so strong she could taste it on her tongue. She passed by an already full trash can with a pizza box sitting on top of it with one slice left. A guy on a skateboard rolled past her, snatched the pizza, and ate it.

Disgust pulled the corners of her mouth as far down as it would go. She fought the instinct to turn around on her heels, sprint away and just take the bus home.

She adjusted the strap of her bag and kept her eyes peeled for her room number. She passed by several widely-opened doors that offered a view inside. In one room, there was a guy in only his briefs sitting on the floor, legs splayed, mouth hung open, fingers darting on the controller as he played a racing game. In another room, a guy was playing darts, the board hung on one wall, surrounding it were holes that showed his poor aim. In another room, was a guy speaking into a microphone, in which, to Ava’s horror, he was recording a podcast.

She tore her eyes away from it and fast-walked to the end of the hallway. She stuck her head outside an opened window. A light breeze devoid of Axe deodorant spray greeted her.

Recalling Coach Adriel’s stupid face and his stupid sneer and his stupid whistle that hung stupidly around his neck.

“Hey! You my roommate?”

Ava whipped her head around. A lean, tall, boy with curly hair stood in the middle of a  room nearby. She looked at the number on the door. It was her assigned room. He looked familiar. It took a minute for Ava to place his face. 

It wasn’t until she saw a framed photo of him on his desk. His was captured mid-spike, his whole body forming a backwards C: legs bent under, chest outward, arm completely drawn back, muscles groups strained and bulging–the perfect form, ready to release a powerful spike. 

JC. ArqTech’s golden volleyboy.

He was wearing cargo shorts and an ArqTech hoodie in maroon. He looked different when he wore something casual instead of his school’s jersey uniform. More so because Ava usually sees him with his hair tied up in a curly sprout that would bounce on top of his head. He coupled that with a sports headband to really hold the front of his hair back in place. 

Ava understood that. In the rules of volleyball, if a player’s hair touches the net, it will be considered a net fault. A point lost to a technicality is a painful blow.

Ava herself has to tie her hair up in a tight bun and go over some areas with hair clips in case strands might slip away during the game.

JC looked very laid-back now with the full fluff of his hair framing his face. He looked cute. Too cute that Ava forgot that she hadn’t replied to him yet.

“Uh…” she made a final glance at the room number and the number on her assignment sheet. “Yup. This is–” she cleared her throat and dropped her voice two octaves lower, “This is me.”

She hadn’t realized he was this tall. Now, it made sense that his attack ball would always go over Coach Adriel’s blockers, no matter how high they leaped, no matter how straight they kept their arms, no matter how tightly packed they jumped together. 

“JC,” he put his hand forward, his biceps in full view for Ava to gawk at before ripping her eyes away.

Ava was playing a boy. A straight boy.  “Av…Michael. Michael.”

“Nice to meet you, Av-Michael.” 

“Just Michael.”

“I know, man. Just messing with you.” He flashed a grin that showed his dimples. 

He was supposed to be her roommate and teammate? Ava was in trouble.

“You’re new here, aren’t you? Your uniform is too clean.”

“Yeah. Got expelled at my last school.”

JC put his fist on his lips, grinning wide. “What’d you do?”

Ava sat on the vacant mattress. She was about to cross her legs before she caught herself. She propped her elbows on her knees instead. “Just skipped classes.”

“Was hoping for a more exciting reason.”

Ava felt it. The urge to impress. No. The need to impress. JC was the captain of the ArqTech Warriors. He might put in a good word. “I skipped classes to practice with my band.”

“Your band?”

“What do you play?”

“Lead guitar. Lead vocalist.”

JC nodded. “Alright. We gotta see that at the school fair coming up.”

Ava felt her shoulders slump with the too-late realization that she just dug herself a hole. “Great.”

Ava gestured to his framed photo. “So, uh. You know when the volleyball tryouts are?”

“This afternoon. You’re trying out?”

“Definitely.”

JC looked her up and down. It was a different kind of visual assessment she usually got from guys. “You’re a little bit short. How are your digs?”

Traditionally, if a player wasn’t that gifted in height, they get the position of libero who digs for short balls because they can get on the ground much lower and much faster than tall players. 

Although Ava was short, even for women’s volleyball, she makes up for it with her high jumps and powerful spikes. That’s why Ava’s position is the same as JC’s–outside hitter.

“Good, decent. But my spikes are lethal.”

JC’s brows shot up, a slight smirk on his lips. “Really? Can’t wait to see it later then. I’ll look out for this…lethal spike.”

There was an underlying tone in his delivery. Ava can’t quite place it. But she knew that unlike her promise of playing guitar and singing well, she can actually deliver on this one.

***

Ava has only observed Coach Superion from afar. Usually because Ava was always seated herself on the opposite side of the court with her Divinium family cheering with her.

Coach Superion, was always seen with her usual black zip-up sports jacket and black joggers. The only indication that she was the ArqTech’s coach was her wooden staff, painted in ArqTech’s colors of blue and orange. The handle was chiseled with the Psi symbol from the Greek alphabet (Ψ) as ArqTech’s logo usually used it in place of the letter T.

Ava remembers observing that walking stick when it would point at a player. Coach Superion’s coaching technique was vastly different from Coach Adriel’s. He would pace the side of the court, shout while the ball is in play, and give instructions in broad strokes. He also had a habit of clapping in front of a player’s face to get them to sharpen up.

Sometimes she sat herself next to the Halo-Bearers to whisper her observations to Coach Adriel about the flaws of the ArqTech Warriors’ game. He always took it in stride. He always took her seriously when it came to that. Which made his absolute dismissal of her suggestion to join the team sting even more. 

Coach Superion, however, stood still. Her hands would never leave the head of that walking stick, even when she calls a time out. She will have an assistant beside her who would hold the coaching board up for her players to see, the next game plan already laid out.

Of course Ava never heard what she said. Whether she berated her players, pointed out their mistakes, or encouraged them, or told them to try better–she didn’t know.

She only saw how Coach Superion spoke. Her chin was always leveled, her eyes shifting from player to player as she calmly spoke to them. All of her team would surround her, propping their arms on their knees to lower themselves to hear her better, some would occasionally nod.

When their huddle was over, the team captain, JC, would put his hand to join Coach Superion on her walking stick. The rest of the team would follow him, laying their hands on top of his, the others, because they would be too far away to reach, would only hold their hand out to show solidarity.

JC would yell “ARQTECH!” and the team would call back, “IN THIS LIFE!” 

Ava had always found it stupid but her school wasn’t any better. Coach Adriel would call out “BEARERS!” and his team would respond with “HALO’S UP!” 

“You mean it wasn’t up all this whole time?” Ava would always joke.

Her mouth quirked up at the memory of Coach Adriel’s exasperated face whenever she did that. Now, she was trying out for the ArqTech Warriors’ team. The team she unabashedly hated. The team she analyzed year by year, competition by competition, just so they can beat them both in women’s and men’s volleyball. 

Since she couldn’t wear her very fitting volleyball jerseys and shorts. She entered the gym in a loose jersey that she copped from the thrift store. It was the only jersey that wouldn’t go past her knees. It had the last name of a player she hadn't even heard of but she was sure it was an NBA athlete.

The Warriors’ hadn’t arrived yet, neither did Coach Superion.

She joined the group of guys that looked as nervous as she was. Some were practicing their setting form, some were stretching, some were doing footwork–completely engrossed in their own activities to pass the time. 

One person was dribbling the ball and shot it at the basketball hoop. That was when there was a loud slam that echoed through the gym. Coach Superion stood in her signature all-black outfit. Behind her, the ArqTech Warriors poured out in a line and made their way to the court.

Ava’s eyes met JC who nodded at her. He mimed a spike and mouthed “lethal” before giving her a playful smile. 

Ava felt her stomach flutter before mentally crushing every butterfly inside her gut that dared to flap its wings.

Coach Superion’s eyes were like slits. “If I ever see somebody throw a volleyball towards a basketball hoop again, I will personally see to it that they will be blacklisted in upcoming volleyball and basketball tryouts throughout their whole stay here in ArqTech”

The person who made the shot slinked further behind the group.

Coach Superion made her way to the court, her shoes barely made any sound. It was her walking stick thudding on the hardwood floors that broke the intervals of silence. 

“Quite a turnout we have today.”

Ava felt prickly heat from her scalp caused by the wig again. She felt a bead of sweat running down the curve of her spine before her chest binder that made her boobs disappear, soaked it up.

“I’m recognizing some familiar faces but mostly new ones. Young. Freshmen.” Coach Superion’s eyes landed on Ava’s. “Aspirants.”

Coach Superion took her time. Allowing the silence to take root before she spoke again.

“For those who aren’t aware, the Warriors will be trying out with you. I am a big believer in starting things fresh. So as of the moment, the members of the ArqTech Warriors are zero.”

There was low mumbling from the newbies and chuckling from the current (well, former) players.

“This also prevents players from getting complacent. I hate complacency. Nothing is a sure win. Nothing is permanent. So. Twelve available spots up for grabs. For those past members, strive to take your place back. For those new faces, strive to replace them.”

The men exchanged glances. Ava felt the testosterone shot up almost immediately. Chests got puffed, chins got jutted. 

Ava was buzzing with excitement to sweep these boys up under the rug.

“For the next hour we will be doing drills. I better see stamina. I better see correct form. Then we will be doing a one-set match. I better see technique. I better see communication.”

She snapped her fingers and a training staff wheeled in a blackboard with 9 workout drills written on it. Ava recognized all of them. They were strategically picked to target 3 core drills: blocking, setting, and hitting. 

If Coach Superion wanted stamina and correct form, Ava will give her stamina and correct form. Ava could do all 9 of these drills in her sleep. 

That spot is hers.

“After the game, I will also be picking the first 6. Again. Nothing is permanent. That line-up will likely change in the coming weeks. The ‘how’ is completely up to you.”

The first 6 are the players that initially start the game. Usually, these are the players that are the best at their assigned position.

So scratch that. Ava is not just claiming a spot in the ArqTech Warriors, she is claiming the spot of Opposite Spiker. Replacing JC and pushing him off to another position.

***

They started with jousting. It was a crucial technique to master. When a ball is falling somewhere close to the middle of the net, players from both sides joust for the ball. Essentially jumping at the same time, each latching from both sides of the ball and shoving it to fall onto the opposing team’s side.

The move is a standoff between whose abdominal muscles are stronger. Ava’s abs were very firm and toned. They weren’t there just for show but, boy, she loved to show it off.

She can’t now, though, for obvious reasons.

Instead she had to hide her abs in this hideous jersey. She was going to tuck the hem in her shorts but she decided against it because it might show the cinch in her waist and that is not at all “masculine”.

The recently cut members of the Warriors went first. It was clear that they wanted to retain their spot in the team with how they were lunging. Their drills were quick, clean, evident that they’ve won three championships. 

Coach Superion called the newbies. Ava walked confidently to the net. When she looked up she was struck with a horrible realization. A realization that rattled her confidence.

The net was higher than what she was used to–7 centimeters higher to be exact. The 7 centimeter difference between the men and women’s volleyball for the net height requirement.

It might as well be high as that basketball net, Ava thought.

A co-newbie threw the ball towards her. It slipped from her fingers but she quickly retrieved it and prayed that Coach Superion missed that.

The whistle blew. Ava tossed the ball upwards and lunged for it. Her hands could barely pass the net but she easily overpowered her partner with every joust. 

The rest of the drills went fine but Ava couldn’t deny that the former Warriors were good and she struggled to keep up with them. 

The whistle blew again. Coach Superion, who sat at a chair the entire time as she supervised the drills, gestured to one of the coaching staff who then divided them into groups of 6. 

A game of 3 on 3 to accommodate the 18 students. 

JC’s group went first. He got paired with 2 newbies versus 2 former Warriors and 1 newbie. The game ended so fast. JC kept targeting the newbie who could never receive his ball properly and would fly out of bounds.

Ava quickly realized what the former Warriors were up to. They were all targeting newbies. They were carving back the space that was taken from them and they were doing it together. 

Ava didn’t take it personally. She would have done the same thing. But this didn’t keep her from getting angry.

Her group went last. She got paired with 1 former Warrior and 1 newbie. They were going head to head with 2 Warriors and 1 newbie. 

From the first 5 rallies, Ava sensed that they were targeting her more than the other newbie. How they decided this was what Ava was assessing while the game was going on. The player that she knew by name was Hans–a setter. 

In volleyball, a team is only allowed 3 touches before they need to send it back to the opposing side. A setter usually receives the 2nd touch for them to set the ball for another player who will spike it, completing the 3rd and final touch. 

This meant that although Hans did not have the same level of spiking ability as Ava, he could most likely receive her spikes perfectly if he targeted him. Which led Ava to target the other former Warrior who Ava did not recognize. He was a rookie, most probably. She didn’t see him in their last competition. If he was a bench player, all the more reason to target him.

Ava felt it pointless to relay her observations to her teammates. If the former Warriors were still playing as a team and protecting the same 12 spots, she needed to stand out as the only newbie who could give them a run for their money. 

Ava was receiving all of their spikes with ease. 

She called for the ball whenever she could and when they gave it to her, she’d leap as high as she could, much higher than she normally did just so she could pass the net. She would then shoot an attack ball to the newbie or to the other former Warrior or even between them so they get confused as to who should receive it.

At one point she sent the ball straight to the former Warrior who failed to block it in time. It hit him square on the head and sent him reeling back.

In the end, Ava’s team still lost 19-25. But Ava was confident that she did the best she could do. She played better than half of the former Warriors. Coach Superion must have seen that.

But if she were being brutally honest with herself they were just a little bit faster, jumped a little higher, spiked a little heavier. This cute little tryout game for them felt like a championship game for her.

Girls aren’t as fast as boys. Or as strong. Or as athletic.

She balled her hands into fists. A resurgence of anger towards Coach Adriel. Punctuated by the possibility that he may have been right.

They lined up and waited for Coach Superion who gave one last final look at her clipboard. She stood in front of them. “Those names I will call, congratulations.”

Unsurprisingly, JC’s name was called. Hans, as well. And all of the former ArqTech Warriors except–

“Michael Silva.”

The newly-minted ArqTech Warriors whipped their heads to look at Ava. 11 pairs of eyes stared at her in shock. JC had a little smirk. 

But slowly, they all redirected their eyes at their fallen former teammate, the rookie that Ava targeted. Ava didn’t know his name. If she were any other person, she would have felt sympathy and guilt but this was volleyball and the game was cruel as it is wonderful.

“Those names that I did not call, thank you for showing up and giving everything you got. I hope to see you next tryouts. You may exit.”

The ArqTech Warriors flocked to the person who got cut before they formed a line again. Coach Superion waited until the last person went out and the door closed.

“Now, as I said. I will also be choosing the first 6 today.” She gave the clipboard back to the training staff. 

Ava felt her hands clam up. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. She repeated her name–well, Michael’s name–in her head, willing Coach Superion to say it.

But she didn’t. And Ava was devastated.

She felt a heavy hand clap her shoulder and she looked up to JC’s eyes. “Lethal spike is right! You were flying!”

She evaded his eyes but mustered up a half-smile. “Congrats on making it back to the team.”

He shook his head and clapped both her shoulders this time. Ava winced. Is masculine affection always so painful? “Congrats to you for making it in!”

Ava's fake smile finally faltered. She watched the other players file out of the gym, afraid somebody might overhear. “I was actually hoping to get into the first 6.” She admitted shyly.

JC waved it off. “Oh, come on! Didn’t you hear Coach? First 6 are always changing. You got plenty of chances. And, hey, you booted Brad off during tryouts! You got the spunk!”

In an effort to make herself feel better, she tried to absorb his words, make them reach her heart. But it didn’t even get past her throat. She held herself to an incredibly high standard to the annoyance of both her and others. What was satisfactory to some was only halfway decent to her.

She could only give a measly nod.

JC chuckled. “I know that face. There’s only one way to wipe it off.” He grabbed a ball from a nearby storage cart. “Here. Practice. If I see you back at the dorms after only an hour, I’m telling Coach.” He joked. 

***

The gym was already closing so Ava went out the back of the building that had a bricked wall. She could bounce the ball on it to practice her receives.

She still had boiling anger bubbling up the surface and she was trying to simmer her head down. The pace of the ball quickened, returning to her in quick succession as her emotions affected her spikes.  She was angry at Coach Adriel, at herself for proving him right,  at Coach Superion for not seeing her worth, at the crazy double standard that she has always fought against in this sport. 

She caught the ball with both hands and threw it on the wall. It bounced high up and landed over a shed and out of sight. Next thing Ava heard was broken glass. 

Ava winced. Her instinct was to run but her conscience glued her feet to the ground. She cursed and went to the source of the casualty.

Ava entered a greenhouse or, more accurately, what used to be a greenhouse but was turned into a storage unit. Zero plants, many crates. Ava heard glass crackling when she took another step. She looked up. 

Broken glass panes showed an orange sky as the sun descended somewhere in the West.

Ava looked under the wooden tables for the ball.

“Does this belong to you?”

Ava turned.

A girl in a crisp ArqTech uniform stood there with the ball in her hands. Ava’s head tilted at how she held it, palms atop each other, like it was an offertory. 

The girl’s face was disapproving but not unkind.

“Yeah, thanks.” Ava made to retrieve the ball but the girl turned on her heel, “Follow me,” her ponytail bouncing as she went out the greenhouse. They went through a zigzag of hallways. Students have already exited for the school day and all of the halls are now empty. The silence was broken only by the girl’s shoes clacking against the tiled floor.

“Where are we going?” Ava tried.

Silence.

“You know, if you’re gonna kidnap me, I know a lot of big people.”

Ava’s peers were all unemployed students who wielded no political power whatsoever but this girl didn’t know that.

The girl continued walking no doubt sensing the emptiness of Ava’s threat. She held the ball about her front. If she wasn’t holding it like an offertory, she held it like a pregnant lady securing her bump.

“Hey! Woman!”

The girl stopped in her tracks.

Ava was shocked that that was the one that worked. It was only later that Ava would guess the reason why. Using that word would have been fine if a girl used it. But if a guy said it, (which Ava was and which Ava would do well to not forget) it had a different effect. “If you’re going to tell on me to an adult, they’ve all gone home. Look around!”

The girl neither turned nor responded. She only heaved out an exhale and resumed her walking.

Ava groaned. “If you think that ball means a lot to me, you can have it. I’m going home.”

Right when Ava was about to turn, the girl turned a knob and pushed a door open. She faced Ava while addressing somebody in that room. “One of your ArqTech players has damaged school property, Principal Superion.”

Ava wanted to shove her head straight into the wall.

The girl took a step back and gestured for Ava to enter. A smug curve of her mouth rivaled Ava’s scowling face. It took a long time for Ava to remove her eyes from the girl, assuring her that she may have won this battle, but not the war.

Coach/Principal Superion had her elbows resting on the armrests. The expression on her face was a duplicate copy of when she was clipping students’ hopes and dreams less than an hour ago.

“Coach! I didn’t know you were also the principal!” Ava heard the tremble of her voice.

“I’m not. This is only in an acting capacity.” She said in a monotone voice. She looked at the girl. “This is a serious accusation, Ms. Young. I hope you can back that up.”

Young . Ava already loathed her last name with the heat of a thousand suns. She’ll hate her first name even more once she finds it out.

“She can’t back it up, Coach, because she didn’t actually see me.”

“I knew that volleyball tryouts happened earlier. He's wearing basketball shorts and a soaked jersey. If that’s not enough, the gym was already closed but he still had a ball with him which not only supports my hypothesis that he tried out for you, but also direct evidence that he was going to bring this ball home with him thereby stealing school property. To add insult to injury, this very ball that he stole broke the glass panes of the greenhouse that, to no one’s surprise, is close to the gym.”

The girl turned her head to look at Ava, challenging her, waiting for her rebuttal.

Ava felt herself prune up. She wished for a comically large eagle to break the ceiling and snatch her up. She wanted to say that it was JC who urged her to take the ball outside the gym but she wasn’t about to make another enemy on her first day, no less her roommate, her volleyball captain, and the only person who has shown her any lick of kindness since she got here.

Some-Stupid-First-Name Young stepped forward and placed the ball on Coach Superion’s desk. She turned it so the ball showed the writing on it in permanent marker. It was a bit smudged but it very clearly said “ARQTECH - A.Y. 2020”, Ava guessed that the same words were written on the back, where Coach Superion’s eyes landed on it.

“Very well.” Coach’s lips were on a thin line. “Mr. Silva. After stealing and damaging school property, you are effectively removed from the Warriors.”

Ava felt like she was shot with a barbed arrows right on her chest

“It's a shame that this is your first impression on your first day.”

At that, the girl slightly turned her head to look at Ava and quickly said, “Actually, Principal Superion I was hoping that maybe she would just pay to replace the glass ceilings.”

Coach Superion pursed her lips, thinking. “Are you amenable to that, Mr. Silva?”

“H-how much…?” she asked the girl.

“70 per piece and you broke 3.”

Ava didn’t know if she had any blood left in her face, it felt like it all dropped to her stomach. “I don’t have that kind of money! I’m a broke college student!”

“What about your parents?” Mystery-First-Name Young whispered to Ava. 

She didn’t look at her, after getting her into trouble, she turns around and offers her a solution? Please. “I don’t have that money with me, Coach.” She repeated, deliberately refusing to acknowledge the girl’s suggestion. “Maybe 1 glass pane. And a half.”

Coach turned to look back at Probably-Stupid-Name Young. “Counteroffer?”

Ava was already thinking of hauling her bags that were still unpacked (thankfully) and sneaking out of the dorms at night. She’ll forget this ever happened and will probably laugh at it inside her own greenhouse that she’ll build complete with indestructible glass panes not matter how many balls were thrown at it.

“Well…” she glanced at Ava who still refused to meet her eyes. “He could join my botany club. We haven’t reached our desired number of volunteers to adequately prepare for the summer activities. And we have a lot on our calendar so…we could use another pair of hands.”

Coach looked to Ava for a response. Having no other cards to play, she accepted.

Coach nodded once. “Great. Since Mr. Silva’s afternoons are free from practice, he now has plenty of time to report to you.”

“Wait, Coach, I–I beg you to reconsider.”

“The matter is only settled as to the damage to the greenhouse, Mr. Silva. You still have one more offense and that’s stealing my team’s ball. Which is more personal to me. How do you suppose you remedy that?”

Ava felt her throat dry up. She swallowed before, “I could…give you another ball?”

“Another ball? A worn-out ball from your childhood? Deflated and sad?”

“A new ball.”

Coach’s brow shot up. “Mikasa?”

All the air escaped Ava’s lungs. She was thinking of giving a Wilson brand. The cheapest one she could find. She couldn’t afford a Mikasa. 

But she did have one. 

She won it during her senior year in high school when she was awarded the MVP title. She never played it, it meant too much. It was proudly displayed on her bookshelf back at home. Her heart ached at the sacrifice.

“Mikasa.”

***

Ava sprinted as soon as she passed the threshold of Coach Superion’s office.

“Michael, wait.”

Ava visibly blanched at that. It wasn’t her name but it sounded weird coming from her mouth. “How do you know my name?” She asked without stopping. Lame-Name Young followed.

“Your profile was on the Principal's desk. I glanced at it. Look, if I had known you were new here, I wouldn’t have been so–”

“So?” Ava whipped around so fast, Funny-Name Young almost crashed into her. “A headache? Your good deed almost cost me a place on the team! The only reason I transferred here.”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“Exactly! You don’t know what other people are going through. There are more important things than your stupid greenhouse.”

“Typical of you to make a woman answer for the consequences of your own actions.”

Ava fought the urge to blow her cover right there. Her head was steaming from anger so much, it was a wonder her wig didn’t frizz up.

“And I kind of did! And I deeply regret it. If I knew this was how you were going to respond I would have left you to get kicked out of the team and the school.”

Young turned to walk away. “Club orientation meeting tomorrow at lunch.” She called out. “If you’re late by as much as 1 minute, I’ll remove you from the club and push for you to pay for the glass panes.”

On the way out of the building, Ava saw a flyer for the botany club asking for volunteers. It was headed by Beatrice Young.

Beatrice .

Ava will make her pay.

Chapter 2: A Twin Thing

Summary:

In which Ava gets a second chance

Ava walked back to her dorm with her shoulders sagging from the state of affairs. To recap her first day: she went to her rival school posing as her brother, got excluded from the first 6, almost got kicked out of the team entirely, and made a new enemy.

Ava checked her watch. It’s not even 7pm yet. If there is anything left to happen–she stopped her thought process, she didn’t want to tempt fate and put that kind of energy out into the void. The universe already had a great time toying with her so far.  

Ava opened her dorm room.

JC was shirtless, doing handstand push-ups on the wall. His sweat from all parts of his body raced downward, dripping to a towel that caught every lick of it. He was facing the wall so Ava was free to gawk however she wanted to, and oh did she gawk. He had airpods on so he didn’t hear her come in.

She figured that this must be the universe’s apology to her. It wasn’t bad.

There was a significant time where she indulged and surveyed the dips and rises of his back before he did notice her. It might have been because of the final time he pulled himself up, he gave a little moan. It caused Ava’s legs to give up and she plopped on the bed. 

JC tried to turn his head. “Michael!”

He was finally right side up. He took out his airpods and grabbed the towel on the floor to wipe himself down.

She tried hard to make her eyes stay pointedly on his face.

“You know I was only kidding when I told you to exercise for more than an hour. I mean, what was that?” he glanced at his watch. “And where did you keep the ball?”

“Funny turn of events there, um, I got caught.” JC’s brows knitted. “Somebody saw me and took me to Coach.”

“Somebody ratted on you?”

“I didn’t know taking the ball out of that gym was a capital offense.”

“I thought that was implied but, yeah, I should have told you. Coach really takes her equipment and facilities seriously. The guy must have had a grudge on you to rat you out like that.”

“It was a girl actually.”

“A wha—you should have just charmed her.”

Ava made a face as she remembered the stiff way Beatrice walked, how her chin never dipped. “I’d rather eat a cactus than charm that girl.”

“Hey! Cactus is really good for you! Tastes sick, too. So what’d you get?”

“Recreational time.”

JC scoffed. “Well, as long as it doesn’t cut in on our practice time which, by the way, is 6-8pm on weekdays and 5-11am on Saturdays.”

Ava’s mouth hung open which made JC chuckle. 

“5 am?”

He gave a shrug. “You wanna stay a Warrior, you gotta be a Warrior.”

“That’s not being a Warrior, that’s being a morning person. And I’m not that.”

“Me too. I’m a sleep in kinda guy. But it’s just once a week. You’ll get used to it, Michael. Speaking of getting used to things…” JC grabbed a towel. “You’ve tried communal bathrooms? Come on. I’ll show you where they are. I know a good spot with water pressure that’s beyond exceptional.” JC did a comical kiss on his fingers. “Muy bien!”

He grabbed another towel and threw it at Ava.

Ava caught it awkwardly. “Uhh.” She was having mixed feelings about the suggestion. On one hand, she had never heard a shower invitation that wasn’t laced with a sexual innuendo. On the other hand, a shower with JC in close proximity was doing things to her stomach. On the other other hand, she couldn’t take a shower in the men’s dorm showers with a whole man there.

“I think I’ll skip it.”

JC blanched. “Skip showering?” He looked her over. She was still in her loose shorts and loose jersey with her dried up sweat. She didn’t need to smell her armpits. She knew they stank. She knew she stank everywhere.

“You’re right, I’ll just do it later. I need to put my feet up for a sec. But, um, where is this shower room with beyond exceptional water pressure?”

***

Her shower only happened at 2:30am. She waited for JC to fall asleep which didn’t happen until a quarter to 2. When he said he was the type to sleep in, Ava didn’t think that he needed to do that because he sleeps so late.

Ava followed his directions to the showers. Predictably, it was empty. Surprisingly, it was clean. Thankfully, it wasn’t one of those open area showers where you could see each other’s business. It had stalls with actual locks that gave her much needed privacy.

After checking and double checking that she locked the door, Ava undressed her clothes and removed her binder. The water made her feel like she was given a new lease in life. Her limbs that felt barely connected to her body only a second ago, had their muscle tissues reignited and regenerated by like 5 generations it seemed like. It was exactly what Ava wanted and what she needed to embark for the next day.

Because the next day was at the Chemistry lab, a subject she never liked. As luck would have it though, she was classmates with Hans and JC who claimed their seats next to her immediately after spotting her.

“Michael! You know Hans.”

“If he doesn’t know me, I definitely know him. Strong spike you got there. Almost as strong as JC’s.” Hans gave a teasing smile at JC who sat between Hans and Ava, clapping both of their shoulders. Hans seemed unaffected by it but Ava bit back a wince. 

“Let’s be careful with our words now.” JC said.

Both men laughed. Ava was about to join them when she saw somebody enter. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She said just under her breath but her words were drowned out by JC’s prayer of gratitude. “She’s in our class! Hans. She’s–”

“In our class, yes. I saw her the same time you did.” 

Beatrice walked in, eyeing intensely at a binder she was holding and saying words that seemed to be important–if the girl who walked beside her, jotting her words down on her own binder–was something to go off of. The girl beside her was a head shorter than Beatrice but she looked friendlier. The two were engrossed with whatever they were discussing, their heads almost touching as they hovered over their binders when they reached an empty table.

“You like her?” Ava asked JC.

“Too much.” Hans deadpanned. 

“She was the one who ratted me out to Coach Superion.” Ava admitted.

JC raised his brows, his eyes snapping back to Beatrice, “That’s so hot of her.” He propped his elbow on the table and did the cliché thing of sighing as his chin settled on the crook of his palm. A soft smile on his mouth. A puzzled look on Ava’s. An amused look on Hans.

“Why do you like her?” Ava asked.

“He’s got a thing for dominant women.” Hans said. JC didn’t counter that with anything so Ava believed it.

“Dominant? Try bossy.” Ava argued.

“Same thing.” JC said.

“No, it’s not.”

“Kinda is.” Hans chimed.

“No, it’s not!” Ava repeated a little louder, with more annoyance. This caused the rest of the class to look at her, including Beatrice who was now staring intently at Ava.

“Oh my god, she’s looking here. Hans, how’s my hair? Does it have the perfect bounce?” JC said nervously. Ava rolled her eyes.

Beatrice said something to her companion and started walking to Ava, her hands behind her like a nun on an afternoon stroll downtown.

From her peripheral, Ava saw JC stiffen before leaning back to straighten his posture.

Beatrice stopped a few steps shy of where Ava sat. It annoyed Ava that even while she was sitting on a lengthy laboratory stool she still couldn’t manage to surpass Beatrice’s height. 

“Michael.” Her lips were set in a hard line.

Ava crossed her arms and lifted a brow in silent inquiry.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten about the club meeting.”

“I can’t even if I wanted to.”

“Great because the greenhouse needs to be cleared from the box crates and sacks of fertilizer.”

“I thought it was a meeting.”

“It is a meeting, for 10 minutes and then we have to clear the greenhouse, you know, the scene of the crime.”

Ava bristled. “Scene of the–yeah, if the crime was being a rat.” She said through gritted teeth.

Beatrice flashed a grin. She leaned in. She got so close, Ava could whiff the faint smell of her perfume. 

They held each other’s gaze, challenging, daring the other to look away. Neither did.

“Why don’t you say that in a normal voice? So people can hear you. So people can ask why I needed to rat you out.”

“You didn’t need to do anything.” Ava said, still whispering, still smelling her perfume, a hint of light juniper and citrus.

“The greenhouse is unusable for winter because of you.”

“It’s summer. Greenhouses need to be open during summer. The way I see it, I gave your plants more ventilation for the heat wave.”

“Hmm and if summer is over that ventilation is a plant killer.”

“Ughk! What plants? There was nothing there!” Ava’s voice returned to its normal volume which caused Beatrice to draw back as she put a hand over her ear. 

“Bring gloves. Or don’t. If you get tetanus, it’s not on me.” Other than that and a pointed look, Beatrice said nothing else and retraced her steps back to her table.

Ava knew how girls worked. When Beatrice sat back down, the girl beside her unsubtly shifted closer to Beatrice, had her eyes locked somewhere else under the pretense that they were totally not talking to each other. But they were and they were talking about Ava.

Completely different than how boys gossiped. After Beatrice had retreated, Ava’s stool swiveled at 180 degrees as JC grabbed her elbow and turned her around to look at him. “I thought you didn’t like her?” He asked.

“I don’t?”

“Then why did she lean in to whisper? Girls don’t lean in to whisper like that to boys unless they’re close. Right, Hans?”

“They don’t.” Chimed Hans.

“Have you just been hiding that you’re close with her? Oh, you have, haven’t you?”

Ava couldn’t get a word in.

“Were you afraid I was gonna get jealous? Does she like you? Do you like her?”

Ava held a hand up to stop him. “First of all, ew, no. It’s not like that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, JC. I’m very sure.”

He slumped forward in relief. “Great. So you don’t see her that way?”

Ava swiped a stiff hand under her chin.

“But you’re close?”

Ava was about to say no but JC’s next words stopped her on her tracks. “Get me a date with her.”

Ava leaned back in surprise. “What? Why would I do that?” Why would she really? Hand this hot, athletic guy on a silver platter over to the girl who’s determined to give her a bad time?

“I’ll train you. I’ll tell you exactly what you need to work on and get you there. If you get me a date with Beatrice. I’ll get you on the first 6.”

How else would Ava respond to that?

“You get yourself a deal.”

“You’re the man.” JC brought a  fist forward to which Ava bumped with her own.

“Yes, I am. I am the man.”

***

She was not the man.

Ava’s last class before lunch was in a completely different building. Not only did she have trouble finding it, she had trouble getting out of it. Each exit she found, led to an entirely different side of campus that she wasn’t familiar with. 

When she finally found the common grounds and navigated her way to the gym and then the greenhouse, she was already late. 

The greenhouse looked different. The box crates were already moved in one neat pile, the debris and vegetation that was on the ground has been removed. The difference made the inside feel and look more spacious.

When Beatrice saw her, her face soured. .Ava held her hands up. “I got lost. I’m new, remember? I don’t know where everything is yet.”

She expected Beatrice to bark back a retort but she didn’t. Instead, her face softened for a millisecond before she cleared her throat. “Guys, this is him. His name is Michael. Michael, this is Camila and Lilith. He’ll be helping us around here.”

Camila was the girl Ava sat with in Chemistry. She gave Ava a wave. “Welcome, Michael!”

The other girl, Lilith, had an incredulous face. “A boy in the botany club. I thought I’d never see the day.”

You haven’t yet, Ava thought.

“You did that?” Lilith pointed above them. It was then that Ava also noticed the dustpan that has yet to be thrown away, still having the shards of glass from the broken glass panes. Ava looked sheepish.

“If you were gonna make a hole, you could have at least put it on the left side so that we’ll get some wind. It’s getting so stuffy here.”

“Thank you, Lilith.” Beatrice said, unamused.

The “meeting” was them talking while they put soil on what looked like little ice trays. 

“We were brainstorming for the summer fair.” Beatrice explained as she scooped a shovel-full and filled 3 holes at once before patting them down evenly. 

“Yeah, Michael, do you have something for us?” Camila asked.

Wordlessly, Lilith gave her an empty tray and a handheld spade. She pointed to a sack of fertilizer before returning to her own work.

“I was expecting to just observe today.”

“No point in observing. We need ideas.” Beatrice deadpanned without looking up.

“Hear, hear.” Lilith chimed. 

Camila gave her a look that said, “You see what I have to deal with?”

The fertilizer she scooped barely filled the spade. Her arm accidentally knocked on something while traveling to the tray, causing crumbs of fertilizer to spill on her side of the table. 

Beatrice flashed Lilith a look that said, “You see what I have to deal with?”

Ava blew an exhale and set her spade down. “Well, why don’t you just do what you did last year? If it ain’t broke, don't fix it, right?”

“Recycle ideas?” Lilith said, disgusted.

“Yeah! 1 of the 3 R’s right?” Ava supported. She supported anything if it meant less work for her in this club. 

“It will look lazy.” Beatrice reasoned.

“Ooor consistent!” Ava reasoned.

Beatrice looked up then and gave her a determined look. “No, Michael.”

Ava huffed. She felt her anger rising before remembering that she had to be friendly with this girl now. If she had to convince her to go out with JC, it would help if the girl actually trusted her judgment. “You’re right. Let’s think of something else.” Ava conceded.

In the end, they decided on a propagating station and a rehoming station. Aside from buying the club’s plants, people can come visit their booth to either help them propagate plants or repot the ones that have outgrown their pots. 

Ava suggested a photo cutout board of a sunflower where the hole for the person’s head would be the sunflower’s center. Beatrice and Lilith immediately shut her idea down but Camila said, “I like it! Let’s do it!” and since they have no tie-breaker, the idea remain unsettled. 

When their meeting finally adjourned, Lilith and Camila went to their respective classes while Beatrice stayed behind to fill the rest of the trays.

“No class?”

Beatrice looked surprised that Ava was still there. “Not until 3pm.”

“I have, like, 30 minutes.”

“Surely, you wouldn’t want to spend that here.”

“Nah, I don’t mind.” She grabbed a vacant try. “What is this for?”

“Seedling trays. It’s for growing sprouts.”

“Ah! A plant nursery.”

Beatrice tilted her head. “Sure.”

Ava drummed her fingers on the table, thinking of how to open it. “So, uh, you seeing anyone?”

Beatrice stilled. The spade on her hand freezing above the tray, crumbs falling as the seconds passed by.

Ava realized how it sounded. “Oh, no–not, that’s not–that’s…it’s for my friend. H-he’s interested in you.”

“And you thought you could vouch for your buddy.”

“He’s…friendly, uh, clean–” surprisingly, his side of the room was always so neat. “–moderately smart, athletic.”

“No, thank you.”

“You don’t know who it is yet.”

“It’s JC.” 

Ava’s eyes rounded. “Oh.”

“He’s not the most subtle.”

“Well then he’s persistent!” Ava said positively.

“That I agree with.”

“Just one date and if it doesn’t work out well–”

“Michael. Let’s get one thing clear. We can be civil while you pay your restitution in this club but we’re not friends.”

Ava jovially waved a dismissed hand. “Psh! We just started off on the wrong foot!”

“Not just that. You’re a jock. Your friends are jocks. I have no friends who are jocks or who are associated with your friends. So by deducing from those facts, we’re not going to get along like friends do. That being said, I’m not interested in being your friend or being with your friend.”  

***

Ava has gotta hand it to Beatrice, she has felt discriminated against for playing volleyball but Beatrice was the first person to ever make her feel discriminated because she played volleyball. 

“What does she want me to do, quit the team so we can exchange hello’s without her being weird about it?” Ava said out loud to nobody. “Unreasonable standard.”

She got to her dorm room. JC was dry and had a shirt on. A dull day it is. “Hey! How’d it go? Should I whip out the tux?”

Ava threw her backpack on her bed. She popped her hands on her hips before quickly setting them down. “She already knows you like her. Did you know that?”

“Yeah,”

“Did you tell her that?”

“No, not exactly but I’ve invited her out a couple of times. She always has something to do. Busy girl. Girlboss and all that. So hot.”

Ava nodded stiffly. “Right. So, she doesn’t like you because you’re a jock.”

“A jock? Michael. You got it so wrong. Girls like us because we’re jocks. Up top!”

She looked at his hand in the air before weakly giving him a high-five. 

“And, anyway, you’ll find a way right? If you really want to make it in the first 6.”

***

The ultimatum kept her up at night. When Ava saw the sky start to lighten outside, she figured she could sneak a run to clear her head. Once out of the dorms, she went to the nearest bathroom and changed out of her disguise. Nobody would be the wiser. It felt good to let her scalp breathe, to be in fitting clothes. She chose her favorite pair of running shorts and a white tank top over a sports bra. As long as she didn’t take too long, as long as few people were still milling about in the campus–she would be fine.

She found her way to the school’s track and did a few laps. She reflected on how she got to this point. All she wanted was to get in ArqTech’s volleyball team, how in the hell was she trying to set up the captain on a date with a jock-fearing plant enthusiast. The pairing of the century.

After her third lap, the sun was peeking behind two buildings. JC has taped his class schedule on his wall. His class didn’t start until the afternoon but she still needed to be able to sneak in without raising suspicion so she had to go back before the dorms served breakfast. 

On the way to the dormitories, she passed by the greenhouse that now had several boxes stacked near its entrance. She checked her watch. She could still afford a quick, impromptu sleuthing.

She poked her head in. The trays prepared yesterday were arranged neatly on the wooden table slabs at the center. 

Ava approached the boxes. Some had terracotta pots, plastic pots, clay pots. One box near the trays was not completely open, saved for one flap. It was filled with seed packets. She groaned. She knew what they were going to do today.

“Oh. Hi.”

Ava turned around as though caught in the act of something illegal.

It was Beatrice.

Still not uniform. She had on overalls and garden gloves, her hair tied back in a neat braid. She looked different. Friendly. Less like a robot.

“Hi.” Ava croaked.

“Can I help you?”

“Y-yes, I seemed to have lost…” Airpods? No, she very clearly had them in her ears. Necklace? No, why would it fall here? “I…haven’t lost anything. I was just snooping. Sorry.”

Beatrice's smile was faint, it was the first time she's seen the girl smile. “I appreciate the honesty.”

“Yeah, sorry for bothering you.” She made to go.

“Wait. Do you wanna help? I'm checking inventory. You can snoop some more.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll count how many things there are and you can cross-check it here.”

Ava nodded as she took the clipboard with the full inventory of supplies.

“What’s your name?” Beatrice opened a box and brought out a stack of pots.

“Ava.”

“Ava. I’m Beatrice. 20 rubberized pots, medium-sized.”

She skimmed the paper with her finger. “Found it. 20. That’s right.”

“Alright, you can cross that off.”

Ava did. She clicked and unclicked the pen. “Do you usually go here very early?”

“Yes. I usually wake up early anyway. I stop by here as part of my morning routine.”

Ava had to remind herself that, theoretically, she didn’t know Beatrice. “Are you part of the staff here?”

Beatrice sputtered a laugh. “No, I’m president of the botany club, Ava.” 

“President! That club has you out here with the sun just breaking out every day? You know, you’re not getting paid.”

“I know that, Ava.” Beatrice rolled her eyes, her mouth curved into a smile. “I just wanna get a head start with things. Now I know what the club will be doing later. Seed planting”

Ava rounded her eyes and did an exaggerated “Seed planting. Hmm don't know if that's worth waking up at 4am.”

Beatrice laughed. “It’s more beneficial for me than for the club, Ava. I promise.”

Ava, Ava, Ava. 

She read somewhere that the sweetest word is a person’s name. She didn’t know if Beatrice had this habit with everybody but Ava has been catching how her name falls in Beatrice’s lips whenever she said it.

Beatrice pointed to the biggest box that went past her knees. “I don’t have to open that because I know what they have. 4 terracotta pots.”

Ava did an exaggerated strikethrough on the paper. It was rewarded with a smile from Beatrice.

“Didn’t know the botany club had budget .”

“It doesn’t, Ava. These have been owned by the club longer than I’ve set foot in this school. The reason the club hasn’t been dissolved, even though it performs poorly, is because it’s part of the school’s clean and green initiative...I’m sorry, Ava but…you just…you look so familiar.” Ava has been noticing that Beatrice has been staring at her for longer and longer as their conversation lengthened. And here she thought, it was something else.

She knew it was pointless to deny it. “Yeah I get that a lot. I have a twin in this school. You may have crossed paths with him or something.”

At that, Beatrice may as well have had a lightbulb flash above her head. “Michael! Michael Silva. Oh, I see it. It’s…wow. The resemblance is uncanny. You only have to cut your hair or–’”

“He grows out his, yeah.” Ava heard the annoyance in her voice. A momentary expression of hurt flitted across Beatrice’s face. Ava didn’t like how it looked. “Which is what I’ve been saying!” She added. “Not only is he lucky to have my face. He could save so much money if he skips the barber.”

She made Beatrice laugh again. She wondered why it was so easy to charm Beatrice out of her disguise. She chalked it up to their bad start with the incident but there was also the fact that Beatrice said she didn’t like jocks. So Ava wondered…

“Do you play volleyball, too? Is that why you and my brother know each other?”

“Oh, heavens, no.”

Heavens .  Only 20th century women from the suburbs used that. So why did Ava find that adorable?

“He hasn’t told you?”

“We haven’t crossed each other yet. Big campus. We got our own thing going on so.”

“Well, I kind of…got him in trouble? Well, he got himself into trouble. I just…um…”

“Ratted him out?”

Beatrice hesitated, actually , hesitated. Ava didn’t think she was capable of it. In fact, she has seen more of Beatrice’s expressions than when she was Michael.

“Yes. I guess I did.”

And she made her admit fault ? What is in the water?

“Can’t say I blame you. He gets into all sorts of situations like I do. It’s a twin thing. Did he do that?” Ava pointed at the ceiling.

Beatrice didn’t even have to look up. She nodded as she opened another box. “Okay, we got an assortment. 8 spades, 5 pairs of gloves, 3 weed pullers, and 4 hand rakes. Did you get all that, Ava?”

“...and 4 hand rakes. With you, boss.”

Beatrice chuckled. “You should volunteer here.” When she said it, there was an immediate faint blush that bloomed on either side of her face. The suggestion wasn’t possible but she indulged herself in the thought. She knew she was technically already volunteering in the greenhouse but the atmosphere that she cultivated by being herself with Beatrice was totally different from what she created by being Michael.

“Oh, trust me. You don’t want me around sharp tools.”

“These tools?”  Beatrice handed her the hand rakes and Ava pretended to cut herself.

Both of them shared a laugh. 

Suddenly, Ava’s watch beeped. The time completely flew past her. “Is that your cue to go?”

“Yeah, sorry. I actually should have gone home minutes ago.”

“Oh. You don’t live in the dorms?” She detected a hint of disappointment.

“No, uh, it only made sense for Michael to live in the dorms. With his volleyball stuff.”

“You should have played volleyball then.”

It was the perfect opening for a flirty comeback. All of them ballooned in Ava’s chest. She wanted to pick one, say it out just so she could see how Beatrice would react. But there was a time and place.  “Who told you I didn’t play?”

If Beatrice was upset with the revelation that she was also a jock, it didn’t reflect on her face. In fact, it kind of looked like she was impressed. 

Her watch beeped again. “I would love stay and talk more, Beatrice but–”

“No, please, you go ahead, Ava.”

She made it just outside of the greenhouse before she popped her head back in. “Oh and um…”

“Yes?”

“Go easy on my brother?”

Beatrice’s smile was understanding, affectionate. “I will, Ava. If you promise to come back here? Help me out again?”

Ava gave a salute.

***

When Ava came back to the greenhouse for lunch. Beatrice smiled at her. She had to check if she was indeed in her disguise. 

“Michael! I was waiting for you.”

“Yeah, sorry I’m a bit late.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Beatrice turned to address Lilith and Camila. “I was thinking about Michael’s idea. The sunflower cutout. I like it. We should do it.”

“You do?” Ava asked.

“You do?” Lilith said at the same time, almost choking on her lunch of sautéed green beans.

When Ava got back to her dorm room. JC was on his switch. His tongue between his teeth as he concentrated. “Hey, Michael.” He said without removing his eyes from the screen.

“I’m gonna get you that date.”

 She heard the victorious jingle from his switch. JC looked up then, hopeful.

Chapter 3: Excursion

Summary:

In which Ava finds herself in multiple excursions

Ava knew it was too soon to visit Beatrice again outside of her disguise. Some say it might be an outdated view but she still believed in waiting at least 3 days.

But when she relayed the news to JC of the fact that a date was highly possible between him and Beatrice, he was hounding her to give him details. Details that Ava couldn’t give because her friendship with Beatrice has barely started. A measly seed that hasn’t even sprouted yet. If she were to throw JC’s name, it would have meant stomping all over that freshly laid ground. Not to mention that Beatrice expressly said she wasn’t interested in jocks. 

She tried to explain all of this to him but the guy was persistent and impatient–an annoyingly deadly combination. 

“May I remind you–hey!” JC held the door when Ava tried to close it on him. By his 4th question regarding a definite date, Ava wanted to clip her own ears.

He wrenched the door open. “We had a deal, Silva.”

Ava rolled her eyes and started her walk to her first class which was still 2 hours away but she needed to get away from JC who’s sounding like a broken record.

“I just met her, JC! Chill!”

“Why do you need to get to know her? I’m going on a date with her, not you! Anyway she’s known me for a long time, alright, it’s not like I’m a stranger.”

“But I am to her, JC. Oh my god, we’ve been over this!”

Ava sprinted to the dorm’s main exit. He wouldn’t dare step foot off of this building in only a tank top and boxer shorts , Ava thought.

But when she crossed the dorm’s threshold only to see him still trailing on her heel with his fuzzy house slippers, Ava dropped her duffel bag and held a hand to stop him. “Why do you need a date right now? Do you have a life-threatening disease? Is the world gonna end soon?”

“I’ve been courting her since she transferred here. It may seem like a rush to you but this date is long overdue.”

“She transferred here?” Ava didn’t think it was possible. Beatrice carried herself like both her feet were firmly planted on this campus.

“Michael,” JC popped both hands on his hips with a renewed confidence. “I wasn’t gonna tell you this because I didn’t want your feathers ruffled but I also have my own interests to look after.”

Ava scrunched her brows. 

“There is an exhibition match next Sunday. Shouldn’t we start training you now so Coach Superion can put you on the first 6 line-up?”

“Exhibition match…against who?”

“It’s not been confirmed yet but it’s with Divinium U.”

“Div…” There was a thug on Ava’s heartstrings. It thrummed and reverberated throughout her nerves. “Let’s start training today.”

“What I’ve been saying! So get me that date!” JC gave her a thumbs up with a beaming smile.

Ava threw her hands in the air. “JC!

“The deal was, get me the date and then I train you. We fist-bumped on it! Just give me a date for a date. That’s it! And no funny business! If I ask her about it and she doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about, you got another thing coming, Silva.”

Which explains why Ava begrudgingly set an alarm for 4am so she could catch Beatrice when she starts her day in the greenhouse.

She planned the whole thing ahead. Operation charm the hell out of Beatrice. Step 1: bring a thermos of coffee to share. (She had to borrow the thermos and 2 cups from the kitchen common area but she’ll put them back.)

Step 2: charm her more. (Wing this part…)

Step 3: sell JC. (Something like “Ohh, he’s not like other jocks!”)

Ava’s hand trembled as she held the thermos while walking to the greenhouse. The sun hadn't even shown up, the cold of the night still clung to the air but she could already see a faint light from the inside and the silhouette of somebody milling about.

She adjusted her hold on the thermos and plastered the biggest smile her body was capable of at 4am. “Knock, knock!”

Beatrice was in the same dirt-covered overalls and her hair was still braided except she now donned a pink bandana around her head.

Her eyes grew wide with recognition, “Ava!” and grew wider when she saw the thermos Ava was holding.

“Care for a cup of coffee with me?”

“What's the occasion?”

“No occasion. Just knew you’d be here. Thought I’d bring you a pick-me-up.”

Beatrice regarded it. “I don't usually drink coffee.”

“What? You get up so early! You gotta give your brain a bit of a boost.”

Ava twisted the lid off and poured Beatrice a cup. 

She acknowledged the steaming cup with a quirk of a brow. “I never felt that I needed it.”

“You face early mornings with raw natural energy?”

Beatrice could only nod at that.

“Alright, well, let's see if you feel any different.”

Beatrice gingerly took it. After blowing on it, she gave it an experimental sip. By the way her brows went to her hairline, Ava knew she made it just right.

“Good? Better?”

Beatrice looked at her from the lip of the cup as she took another sip. “Warm.”

Ava chuckled and poured herself one. “Give it a sec.”

Beatrice’s smile was so gentle that Ava had to look away. “So, uh, done with your chores?”

“We haven't started yet, Ava.”

“We?”

“Isn't that why you're here? To help me?” By the curve of Beatrice’s lips, she was struggling to hide a smile.

“I was expecting to just observe, give you good company, you know?”

“Hmm. You're good company?”

“I’m awesome company!”

Beatrice laughed. Ava liked how it sounded. She liked that she caused it.

“Fortunately for you, I only have a solo job today.”

Ava hopped on an empty table. “Oh?”

Beatrice gestured to a yellow pad with chicken-scrawl handwriting. “I’m planning our agenda for the club's first summer activity.”

“Activity?”

“An excursion. Outside the campus. The problem is there are a total of 4 people in the club and we need…more.”

“What exactly will you be doing?”

“I have a list of invasive plant species. We’ll be going to a rural area where there are a lot of them and we will…well…” Beatrice couldn't say it.

“Ahh. A murder spree.” Ava said, a teasing scrunch to her nose. “And here I thought the botany club was all about cultivating life.”

“An invasive plant species is very harmful.” Beatrice said dryly.

To her confusion, it amused Ava.

She couldn't help but notice that while she was charming Beatrice, Beatrice seems to be doing the same thing to Ava. The difference was the level of effort. While Ava’s mind was racing for open doors, Beatrice was wandering around aimlessly. And Ava was allowing herself to traipse along with her.

She needed to remind herself the reason why she was in this greenhouse at 4 am in the morning again. 

“So what you're saying is, you need bodies.”

“Yes. But I don't know how to convince people into sacrificing a Sunday to do manual labor without compensation.”

Ava straightened as the idea materialized on a shimmering pedestal. “Tell Michael.”

Beatrice was visibly taken aback by it. “Michael?”

“Michael knows a lot of people. He can get you warm bodies.”

Beatrice’s eyes rounded. “No–that–Ava, it's fine. It's a big ask. I wouldn't want to impose that on him. Especially since his presence in the club isn't voluntary.”

“Do you want me to tell him for you?” Ava pushed. It was a perfect opportunity. She can tell JC to rally up the volleyball team for the excursion. It wouldn't be a date but they'll be in close proximity for the whole day. “He won't mind.”

Beatrice squinted. “It’s okay. I think we can make it work with 4 people…well 5…if you're free on Sunday?”

Beatrice didn’t look at her. Her tone became unmistakably shy which made Ava’s heart ache because she had no other choice but to turn her down.

“I wish I could, Bea, but–” Beatrice's face faltered before Ava could finish her sentence, “–I have a thing on Sunday. Can't get out of it.”

“Of course, Ava. It’s totally fine.”

“I’ll send Michael on my behalf. We’re twins, after all. I’ll tell him to wear a wig.”

“Can he?” Ava sensed an undertone but it went as fast as it came. Beatrice shook her head, “He has to be there anyway.”

The sadness in her voice remained.

“I can make it up to you.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

With the way Beatrice visibly brightened, the need to stop and shut her mouth, dissipated. Beatrice’s eyes twinkled with glee. “What do you have in mind?”

Ava hopped to her feet, feeling the effects of the coffee now. “We could have our own excursion. Also off campus.”

 Beatrice looked at her then. “Just the two of us?” her voice sounded softer.

“Of course! We could do whatever you want.” Ava was genuinely up for it. She liked talking to  Beatrice.

Beatrice held her gaze for what seemed like forever. “Okay, Ava.”

***

“A what?” JC asked. He was about to throw volleyball in the air but it stuck to his hand when Ava relayed the change of plans.

They finally went to the school gym because Ava had said she secured him a date. They have already warmed up and started the first round of exercise. In all that time, JC has all but complimented her.

He picked her flaws apart, recalling every one when he saw her play during auditions.

“So I’m not going on a date with her?” he asked, when Ava broached the topic because she couldn’t handle another suicide drill too soon. She threw herself on the floor to catch her breath. Beatrice was the perfect subject to interest him enough that he would forget that he only gave her 2 minutes to rest.

Ava wiped the sweat she felt sliding down her jaw. “Not technically.”

JC grabbed his towel and started walking to the exit.

Ava groaned. She pushed herself off the floor to follow him, wincing as she felt the muscle aches brought by the previous drills he subjected her to.

“JC! Look–stop!” She threw her whole body to block the doorway. “I'm telling you once again, if I’d have told her straight up that you wanted a date with her, she would have said no and walked. I made an assessment and I picked you your best chances. Call it a woman's intuition.”

JC made a face. “Woman's intuition?”

Ava cursed in her head. “Yeah, you know. Just because we're a couple of bros doesn't mean we can't channel our inner woman's intuition.”

JC squinted. “ You got a woman's intuition?”

“I like to think of it as a misnomer. Woman's intuition transcends gender. You got woman’s intuition. I see it in your eyes. You just haven't tapped in it yet.”

He laughed through his nose but he looked like he was kind of buying it so Ava doubled down. “I got you a whole day with Beatrice, JC. You will be helping her with something she cares about. Think about it. You reach out for the same plant, boom, your hands touch. Oh, she's getting too bothered by the sun, you block it with your hand. She trips on some driftwood, you catch her from behind.”

Something passed in JC’s eyes. “I see the vision.”

“There you go, man!”

When JC turned around, Ava sighed in relief. “But you need to convince the guys to come help out, okay?”

“I–what?”

***

The club agreed that they would meet at the parking lot, where a school bus would take them to the spot.

When Ava arrived, Beatrice was not happy. “You're late. We’re on a schedule.”

“I’m sorry, Beatrice. I was–”

“Where is your team?” She sounded that last word out like it was derogatory.

Lilith’s head poked out the bus window. “I told you this was going to happen, Beatrice.”

On the next window, Camila’s head popped out, too. “We should have just taken my car. They weren't going to show up anyway.”

“Yes, I should have listened.” Beatrice looked at her watch. “We’re leaving.”

“No, no, no, they’ll be here. You know how guys are.”

“No, I don't, Michael, nor do I care to.”

Ava wondered if Beatrice’s anger would even show if she were talking to Ava as herself. The difference with how Beatrice talked to Ava-Michael was vastly different to how she regarded Ava-Ava: she was more patient, gentler, softer. None of the edge, all of the curves.

A girl thing , Ava thought. “They're coming, I promise, they’re–”

“Oy!”

Ava turned as the guys appeared around the corner. The whole team arrived with rakes, gloves, and sacks. Leading the pack was JC with a giddy smile reaching his ears. “Those invasive plants won't know what hit ‘em.”

Ava turned to Beatrice. She was eyeing them suspiciously. Lilith and Camila exchanged glances but with a soft smile on their lips.

Beatrice’s eyes landed back to Ava. “You’re in charge of them.”

Ava ushered the team to the bus. JC stood next to her and whispered, “I’ve instructed the team to not sit where Beatrice will sit. I’m instructing you, too, and hope that you will instruct those two girls.”

Ava scowled. “Dude, no.”

JC drew back. “I don't get you. Isn't this why I’m here? To make a move? Wasn't that what you were selling to me?”

“Yeah but are we just going to throw decorum out the window?”

“Decor–”

“How many times have you tried talking to Beatrice?”

“A lot of times.”

“And do you know why you've never been successful? You come in too hot. Be chill. Be cool.”

“I’m chill. I'm cool.”

“No, you're not. Beatrice will be sitting in front with her fucking clipboard and you would do well not to disturb her when she’s looking at that thing.”

JC bristled. “Fine.”

***

To Ava’s surprise, Beatrice seated herself next to her and consulted with her regarding the names of all the Warriors so she could do a headcount to ensure that nobody would be forgotten when they left.

After double checking the names, however, Beatrice went back to the front. She brushed away the disappointment she felt when Beatrice got up to transfer seats.

The ride the way there was nothing but quiet. The chatter came mostly from the Warriors. They were outnumbered by a long shot.

Surprisingly, Lilith and Camila were engaging with the Warriors in a conversation that has taken multiple threads. More surprisingly, it wasn't about volleyball but the plants they needed to keep an eye out for. Camila was showing them pictures on an iPad while Lilith explained why they needed to eradicate them.

It was equally educational to Ava who just listened a few rows away. 

Camila swiped to another picture and was pointing to a distinctive feature of a plant's leaf when Ava’s phone dinged.

Beatrice: Hi, Ava.

Ava looked up to where she sat. They exchanged numbers when Ava offered an excursion of their own. 

Ava: hey bea. how's the excursion going?

Beatrice: We haven't started yet. Thank you for telling Michael to bring the volleyball team. I think we will finish earlier than expected.

Ava: no problem bea 

She hit send but her fingers hovered. What else could she say? She wanted the conversation to keep going.

Ava: did you apply sunscreen?

Ava inwardly groaned.

She couldn't be too sure but from this angle, Beatrice leaned forward, looking like she was chuckling.

Beatrice: It was the first thing I did, actually. Did you apply sunscreen?

Ava: no. it's a stay at home sunday for me

Ava: just in my bed

Beatrice: Oh. I thought you said you had something going on today?

Ava flinched. That’s right. She did say that. Her fingers typed swiftly.

Ava: yeah it’s just on zoom

Ava: a meeting with my professor 

Ava: i think it’s gonna take the whole morning

Ava: but other than that

Ava: no plans. all the vibes

Beatrice: No plans, you say? Why don't you plan for our excursion then. Since you're so free

Beatrice: 😊

Ava tried to bite back a smile.

Ava: oh uhhhh

Ava:i suddenly remembered i had this other thing

Ava: so sad

Ava: 😔

Ava guessed that Beatrice kind of smiled with the way her cheek slightly lifted. Ava mirrored it with a wider smile of her own.

Beatrice: Yes, I can feel how torn up you feel about it.

Ava: but srsly bea

Ava: i got it ok?

Ava: i’ll plan it

Ava: you enjoy your little field trip

Ava: even tho you’ll miss me v much

Ava:😭😭😭

Beatrice's head rolled on the back rest before she looked out the window.

Ava wished she could see her face. When Beatrice flipped her phone upside down on her lap, Ava was scared how her series of texts might have landed.

Her hands were quickly typing “jk lol” when three dots appeared.

Ava looked up to see that indeed, she was actually typing. A moment later, her text popped up and Ava felt something hit her chest.

Beatrice: I do miss you, Ava. I wish you came with us.

It was Ava’s turn to flip her phone upside down.

***

When the bus stopped, Beatrice informed them that they had to walk a little bit. Ava was worried that the sun would have been beating down on them and she might have heat stroke with her wig and baggy clothes.

Thankfully, Beatrice pointed at the trees a little ways away where the bus couldn't possibly drive without tipping over.

Beatrice, the leader that she is, called their attention when all of them alighted the bus. “So we’ll go in pairs. We have an odd number so I’ll go alone and you guys can pick your partners. 

JC elbowed Ava and rounded his eyes. “Um, that's okay Beatrice, I’ll go solo.”

“Why?”

“I’m…gassy. I ate something really bad.”

“O-kay then.”

It was Ava’s turn to elbow JC who willingly sprinted to Beatrice's side. She didn't hear what he said but she saw her nod once.

Camila had airdropped the invasive plant pictures to everybody and now they are all on their phones comparing every shrub or flower they came across. Except for Lilith and Beatrice who seemed to just know at a mere glance.

Which was lucky for JC to be partnered with Beatrice. He only had to grab a spade and start digging out the roots. Ava, however, had to squint at her phone to identify if it was indeed invasive and had to dig it up to chuck it in a sack.

It was laborious. She wished she really was in her bed with no Sunday plans.

After a while, she was itching in various parts of her body. She suspected that if it wasn't mosquitoes, it was the plants themselves that caused irritation.

She indulged herself in scratching with just her knuckles to prevent breaking the skin open.

She felt a presence behind her. Before she could turn around, a tube of cream was being shoved close to her face. Peeking over the tube, Beatrice was looking down at her with a neutral expression. 

“I should have told you to bring some creams and repellents. That was my oversight.”

Ava took it like it was manna from heaven. “Thanks.”

She applied over the red areas and handed it back to Beatrice.

JC, who started itching himself, asked if he could have some too, to which Beatrice deposited in his hands without a word. 

What he did next was Ava’s own oversight. He hoisted his shirt over his head and looked pointedly at Beatrice who spared him a glance before turning around and walking over to Lilith. 

JC locked eyes with Ava. She shook her head disappointedly. 

He walked over to her and before he could open his mouth. Ava said, “Bad move.”

“What? That always works.”

“Do you think it worked this time?”

“Well, she looked.”

“Right. Why don’t you take off your pants, too. She might look again.”

“You think so?”

“No, JC. Put your shirt back on.”

“I didn't just take off my shirt for no reason. Here–” he gave her the ointment cream, “–there should be a gnarly swollen area there somewhere.”

Ava took note of how his sweat traveled down the lines on his back before it hit the garter of his shorts. 

She put a peanut-sized amount on her finger and dabbed it near his left shoulder blade where two bumps close to each other had formed.

A week ago, she was sure that if she touched JC’s bare skin, it would have elicited some kind of reaction from her. But now, there was nothing. She must have grown accustomed to him being half-naked. She does see him like that quite often. He’d barely wear anything in their dorm room.

Plus, in their first one-on-one practice together, he enumerated every weak thing that she does on court. “Your legs aren't far enough apart when you squat”, “you should look up some exercise for your wrists”, and – Ava’s favorite, the one thing that made her want to give him an uppercut –“your balls are so predictable”.

That does have the potential to lessen her attraction to somebody.

The memory made Ava seethe again. He shoved the cream in his unprepared hands. “Whatever you’re planning on telling her, run it by me first.”

“Oh. I–uh, already asked her out.”

“You–what?” Ava hissed.

JC shrugged. “Why wait?”

“Why hurry?”

“We had a quiet moment and it was kinda romantic and stuff.”

“Sure. Hearing mosquitoes buzzing in your ear really gets the girls in a twist.”

Ava didn't know why she cared so much. Her end of the bargain was already done, she got him a sorta-date with Beatrice. However which way he fumbled it, that's on him.

“What did she say?” Ava asked out of curiosity and a little bit of something she can't name yet.

“She said she’d think about it. But that was a few minutes ago. Is that bad?”

Ava wanted to say that if Beatrice is thinking about it, she's not thinking about whether to say yes, she's thinking about how to say no.

But she still had a standing one-on-one practice with the guy and she didn't want to jeopardize that.

“Nah. She's a busy bee. She could just be thinking about how to squeeze you in.”

JC nodded at that. “You're so wise.”

After the second hour, they decided to regroup and assess. The Warriors weeded more than 20 plants by mistake. The botany club still considered it a success.

To nobody's surprise, they brought volleyballs.

Camila needed no convincing and played with them. She listened to Hans’ instructions on the basics of receiving, completely invested to absorb every word to hopefully execute it perfectly. But no matter how good you listen to instruction, an untrained body betrays you.

On her first receive, she sent the ball flying sideways. A Warrior expected it and caught it without blinking. On Hans’ second or third throw, Camila waved her arms in surrender, revealing a sprinkling of tiny, red dots.

The Warriors chuckled. Hans gave a dismissed hand, “That’s normal. Tit for tat, right?” Hans stretched his neck where he had his own battlemarks. It was lathered with cream but there were distinct angry red marks caused by an itch that was fully satiated.

Lilith, however, needed budging. “I have no plans on learning the sport but thank you for the offer.”

“You sure?” Hans said. “Camila told me that after more volunteering, we might become honorary members of the botany club.”

Lilith looked at Camila who refused to meet her eye.

“So?” Lilith challenged Hans.

“In my book, Camila is already an honorary Warrior. Michael here is in both camps so he’s cool. Beatrice is an exception because she’s your President. Which makes you the only outlier.”

Lilith huffed. Ava thought she wasn't going to give in to Hans’ petty taunt but she pushed herself off of the tree she was leaning on and asked for the ball.

The Warrior erupted in cheers. Ava stole a glance at Beatrice who was just as amused as everybody in the group albeit less apparent.

Lilith positioned herself in the way Hans instructed a moment ago and silently asked for his approval.

Hans nodded but gestured for her to squat lower.

Lilith did.

Hans threw the ball in her direction and Lilith hit it squarely on the meatiest part of the forearms. It bounced so high above them that it hit the branches causing a shower of leaves and some twigs that blinded half of the team.

They blinked rapidly, covering their affected eyes. Although Hans didn’t get any on his eyes, he spruced his hair to get rid of vegetation. “Alright that was…that was too much power.”

Lilith grinned, satisfied.

Amidst all of this, Ava didn't notice the moment when Beatrice went to JC. She was suddenly behind him. She leaned in to whisper something. They then started a walk together, away from the group, their heads bowed, their stiff gait signaling that it was a serious conversation.

Beatrice was gesturing with her hands while JC had his in his pockets.

Ava fought the urge to sneak in behind them to catch their conversation.

She caught herself at a crossroads of how to feel about where she wanted the conversation to go. She wasn't really rooting for JC but she didn't want him to strike out either. She didn't want Beatrice to say no to the date but she…

Did she want her to say no?

Before she could ride that thought to a conclusion, Camila sat next to her. “Hey, Michael.”

Lilith also sat on her other side. “Hello, Michael.”

“H-hi.” Ava didn't know who to address.

“So.” Camila said.

“So.” Lilith chimed in.

At that moment, Ava recognized what it was. She was guilty of doing it with her friends. It was data-gathering. They knew something and they were going to grill Ava until she would be reduced to a blubbering mess.

“Beatrice mentioned you have a sister.” Lilith said.

“At the school.” Camila continued.

“I–I do? I mean, yeah, I–yeah.”

“What's her name?” Camila asked.

“Which department?” Lilith asked.

“Her name’s Ava,” Ava started very carefully. “She’s in…Communications.”

She chose it because she knew it was at the farthest part of the campus. A lone building somewhere east. It was so removed and isolated from the hustle and bustle of the campus that students from other departments rarely frequent there.

“Communications.” Lilith repeated, turning to Camila. They had a silent conversation of their own.

“What's this about?” Ava asked.

Camila and Lilith’s heads turn back to face her. “Nothing,” Camila chirped in a register too high to be truthful.

“Beatrice let it slip that she may have gone to the greenhouse. And…” Lilith turned to Camila seemingly asking for support.

To which Camila was quick to supply. “And we're always looking for new students to fill our little club. It's very small, as you know. And having members who are also siblings is cool.”

“It is?” Ava and Lilith asked at the same time.

Camila scolded Lilith with her eyes. 

“It is!” Lilith quickly remedied her mistake. “Kind of like, uh, having sibling teammates, right? In your volleyball team?”

Ava hesitantly nodded. It is true. It was a good point. Ava had to admit that that was a nice save on Lilith’s part.

“Yeah, I guess. But she’s busy. She’s not really into doing extracurriculars.”

“Maybe you could tell her to visit the greenhouse some time.” Lilith said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, like during the day. We have a feeling she might be a vampire.” Camila attempted to cover it with a joke.

Ava squinted. “Why?”

Lilith and Camila exchanged glances and there was a silent agreement and a shift in the air. They checked around them in case anybody might overhear.

Ava looked back at Beatrice and JC who have now walked further from the group.

“Okay, Michael.” Camila began. “We’ll cut to the chase. You didn't hear this from us but Beatrice rarely shares about personal stuff. It makes us voraciously curious.”

“We know there's something going on with her and your sister.” Lilith said.

“Something…going on?”

“You don't know?” Camila asked, genuinely surprised.

“Your sister didn't mention anything? Not even in passing?” Lilith asked, equally surprised.

Ava was still deciding whether to play clueless or in-the-know. But now she was actually clueless. 

Although Beatrice and her were having early morning meet-ups, Camila and Lilith were suggesting something else.

“I mean, are you ready to hear it?” Lilith asked.

“Hear what?”

The two girls leaned in conspiratorially. “Beatrice and your sister might be…making out in the greenhouse.”

Ava drew back. “What?”

“Camila and Beatrice are roommates and I’m in the same dorm.” Lilith explained.

“It might have something to do with a girl I saw in there with her last time.” Camila continued, “I thought it was nothing but, well, she’s been–”

“She has been getting up earlier and coming back later than usual.” Lilith interrupted. “As far as we know, the girl hasn’t been back this week but that’s our hypothesis. Beatrice's routine changed and she never changes her routine without a reason. Camila seeing your sister at the greenhouse was the catalyst.”

Ava's heart sped up. “How’d you know it was my sister?”

“I saw the girl’s face when she left the greenhouse.” Camila explained.

Ava blinked. “Yeah, but how'd you know it was my sister?”

The two girls gave her a look that made Ava feel stupid. 

“You're twins,” Lilith reminded her.

“How’d you know I had a twin sister?”

“We were next to Hans on the bus. He is quite chatty.”

Either her brain might have slowed down or the surge of information was too fast but Ava finally caught on to what they said. “You saw them make out?”

“Well, no.” Camila said.

“Camila just saw their silhouettes.” Lilith said unconvincingly.

“ Very close to each other.” Camila suggested.

“So did they or did they not make out?”

Lilith held up a hand. “The make out or lack of it isn't important. Point is they have something going on.”

“Who does?”

They all jumped to see Beatrice closing in on their huddle. 

They immediately broke apart. Beatrice's eyes were flashing between the 3 of them. 

“The team.” Ava said. “They’re planning on doing something. I think they're gonna start a mini game.”

Beatrice brows pinched together. She turned around and clapped her hands once. “Okay, let's resume, guys!”

***

They managed to fill 12 sacks worth of invasive plants that ranged from flowering to vining to saplings to tubers.

Ava wore gloves but there were long moments where she took them off to get a better grip of the spade. It resulted in her palms having blisters. Her thighs also burned from all the repeated squatting. Her back hurt from the hunching over.

She couldn't straighten out her spine on the walk back to the bus.

The mixed crew of athletes and budding botanists were different in build and stamina but both were drained from the same activity.

Ava plopped herself in a vacant seat and closed her eyes. She couldn't decide which one she needed most, a shower or a bed.

When she opened her eyes, she thought she must have slipped into a deep slumber because she caught the tail end of Beatrice snapping a photo of herself. 

She got the impression that Beatrice wasn't the type to take selfies. It may have been a harmless selfie or for documentation purposes for the club. Either way, Ava was thinking that Beatrice did still look beautiful despite the ordeal they went through.

If Ava didn't have the wig on and could shed a layer or two, she might want to snap a selfie of herself as well.

A moment later, her phone dinged.

Beatrice: Excursion done!

Attached to the message was the photo she took. She looked exhausted but literally glowing from the setting sun. Just above her head and the main focus of the picture was the team and the club members in various positions of taking a nap.

Ava could see herself just at the edge of the screen when she still had her eyes closed. 

Without hesitating, Ava saved the picture in her gallery. Beatrice looked cute and she wished she would have angled the photo a bit further down so she could see more of Beatrice and less of JC and Hans with their mouths open.

Her fingers zoomed in on the picture. Taking in Beatrice's features with more thought and attention. Something she felt conscious of doing in real time, afraid of the consequences that might bring, of what that might entail internally.

Before her fingers could type out a reply, she went to her gallery and picked a selfie she took a few weeks ago of her in her room. Coincidentally, she snapped it right by her bedroom window, an orange hue coated her skin immaculately giving the impression that it was snapped at roughly the same time.

But she didn't choose that photo for that reason, it was because of her girls that were being hugged by her favorite top. Sadly, it needed to be left behind when she was packing for ArqTech.

She picked that photo because she knew she looked hot. Why she felt the need to send Beatrice a hot photo of herself was a question she wasn't prepared to answer.

Ava: wow they look beat

Ava: had my nap earlier in the day

Ava: ( 1 attached photo)

Ava’s fingers hovered above her phone again. Feeling the hesitation, considering it, weighing it in her mind. “Fuck it,” she said under her breath.

Ava: you look real cute bea

Ava’s eyes immediately snapped to Beatrice at the front. Again, she was deprived of Beatrice's facial expression and was left to decipher her body language – which yielded nothing. She sat still in her seat. Too still. Like she was having trouble how to reply or if she was also weighing her reply like Ava did.

Beatrice: You look beautiful, Ava.

There was that jolt in her heart again. The frequency as to which it was happening was worrying but exhilarating.

Beatrice: Did you dream about plans for our excursion?

Ava was stuck on Beatrice’s previous message. She wanted more of it. She wanted to reply to it in real time.

Ava: yes i did

Beatrice: Oh? I was joking but let’s hear it then.

Ava had thought about it. Doing something mindless like pulling out vines really makes your mind wander.

Ava: are you free next sunday?

When they arrived at the school, Ava was ready to sprint to the nearest bathroom to get a quick shower but the Warriors filed behind JC, to which Ava felt compelled to do as well. 

It surprised her how much they followed JC even outside of the court.

“Camila, Lilith, Beatrice–” JC didn't quite look at Beatrice when he said her name. Ava remembered that she had yet to ask him, what they talked about, “–on behalf of the Warriors, we thank you for inviting us to your excursion. It was a real eye-opener.”

“Skin-opener,” Hans interjected, showing his palms with his blisters.

That got a laugh from everyone.

JC continued. “I admit, when Michael here asked if we might be interested, I didn't think it was for us. But I’m glad we came.”

He looked at Ava then and she could see he was being genuine. Even though they both knew why he really said yes to the excursion.

JC threw an arm over her shoulder. She didn't know what to feel about it. “So, I  was speaking with the guys earlier and we thought it would only be fair to invite you for an excursion of our own.”

Ava narrowed her eyes. She wasn't included in this discussion.

“We’ll be having an exhibition match with Divinium University and we'd really like it if you would drop by. You'll see how Michael is with a ball instead of a spade.”

Lilith and Camila were nodding before JC finished his sentence. But they turned to look at Beatrice who had the final word.

Beatrice tilted her head. “When will it be?”

“Next Sunday.”

Ava felt her organs drop. Her eyes darted to Beatrice. She needed to turn it down. Their own excursion is on the same day. Beatrice won’t bail on her, will she?

Beatrice looked like she was giving it a thought. “It is only fair. But I think I might have something on Sunday.” 

Ava exhaled through her nose. Relieved.

“Lilith and Camila can go.” Beatrice ended. The girls nodded. 

“Awesome! If you feel too outnumbered like today, Michael here has a sister who also plays ball.”

Ava’s head snapped to JC who flashed her an innocent grin. 

“You should invite her as well, keep the girls company.” He continued.

Ava’s mouth parted, a valid excuse already forming in her mind. She has tutoring to do - she'll be out of town by then - she’s volunteering at a shelter very far away.

But before she could voice any excuse out, Beatrice spoke up. “I don't think she’d be available as well.”

Lilith and Camila stepped forward. “How do you know that?” Lilith asked.

For the first time, Beatrice was flustered. “I…was just guessing. Do you think she can make it, Michael?”

Ava should say no. The logistics would be a nightmare.

But if Beatrice would be at the same place where the game will be held, it would be less of a nightmare than to have her somewhere else.

“Okay. She'll be there.”

Chapter 4: Substitution

Summary:

In which Ava finds herself at a crossroad

Notes:

Somebody made a comment on here saying "please come back to us authornim" and it legit made me burst out laughing and singlehandedly convinced me to finish this chapter that was rotting in my folders so I can finally post it. Everybody say thank you to that person.

It wasn’t that JC was a bad coach, it was the fact that Ava didn’t see him as an authority figure. A big deal of submitting to somebody for coaching lessons is accepting that they're more knowledgeable than you. Although she admits that JC is good, his sports I.Q. wasn’t that much higher than hers.

After all, the only shortcoming of hers that she could see was that she was literally short. Her posing as a man didn't add to her already below-than-average height.

She has been trying to steer JC into focusing on showing her how to leap higher but he has been insisting that it was her receives that were weak.

“You're not squatting deep enough which is a shame because you're already very short. We should go on over to dolphin dives.”

Dolphin diving is a technique to catch short balls. One that was more appropriate for liberos–which Ava is not. 

“Should we?”

JC rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over this.”

“You're not hearing me.”

“Oh, I hear you. I just don't agree with you. You can reach the net just fine, you're just hesitating for whatever reason.”

“Hesi–no, I don't!”

“You look up at it like it's your first time seeing it.”

Ava gives him that. It was daunting to see the net higher than she was used to. 

“If you would just get over it, you can get over it.” He beamed, pleased with himself.

Ava grimaced.

“Oh, come on. That was a good one.” JC playfully pushed elbowed her. “Now, as you were.”

He gestured for her to get low. Reluctantly, Ava squatted to a receiving position. 

JC gestured for her to get lower. Her brows furrowed. She straightened and crossed her arms. “You're kidding.”

He suddenly walked up behind her, catching Ava in surprise. 

“What–” her question dissolved when he gently placed his hands on her hips and pushed down. 

“Lower, Michael.”

She felt her chest thud through her sweaty binder.

He reached over to reposition her upturned hands. “Open these up a bit.” He was talking so close to her ear. He put a hand on her elbow and guided it downward. “Angle your hands down. This should be your default position. Always.”

Ava looked over her shoulder. He was so close. She could feel his breath on her neck. 

JC’s eyes flickered to her lips and stayed there for a second too long. Ava straightened her stance and JC did as well. He cleared his throat and adjusted his jersey. 

The air was suddenly awkward. It was stifling. If there’s one thing Ava could not stand, it was awkward silences. “So, um, how did it go with Beatrice? I saw you guys talk during the excursion.”

JC looked up and shrugged. “She turned me down. She laid it on thick that day and I’m not one to push myself to somebody who clearly doesn’t want me that way so I’m dropping it.”

She squinted. “You talked for a while.”

He retrieved a ball from the floor and spun it on his finger. “It was an insightful talk. She made great points.”

“Insightful…she turned you down and it was insightful?”

JC’s cheeks reddened, it must have been the afternoon light. “She said some other things. But, yeah, I’m over her.”

“That fast, huh?”

JC chuckled. “Just figured that if a girl said she was into somebody else. That’s a door being bolted shut.” He shrugged again.

Ava’s lips parted. “Oh. Really. Did she–did she say who she was interested in?”

JC grimaced. “No? Why would I–no. Anyway, I bet I’m more handsome than whoever it is.”

He looked like he was expecting a witty response to that from Ava but she could only avert her gaze, her thoughts only shifting between two notions: Beatrice was interested in somebody and that Ava wanted it to be her.

***

Ava and JC walked back to their room. Ava’s shoulders slouched not only from a long day but also from the several thigh exercises she did prior.

Her legs were burning from the inside, weighing like lead. Her lower body was so sore that she considered skipping a shower. But she only had to feel her damp wig and chest binder to make herself reach for a towel.

When she came back to her room, JC was already dressed for a night out. He was buttoning up his shirt when their eyes met on the mirror. “Are you sure you won’t come?”

He usually went out on Tuesdays, when his first and only class the following day was at 4pm.

Ava threw her towel to dry on a chair designated for clothes that aren’t meant for the hamper yet, still a viable option to be worn again. She threw herself on her bed, pillows and sheets already cold from the AC unit.

Ava could pass out in a few minutes. “Enjoy your night.” She said with her eyes already closed.

Silence followed, Ava could already feel herself slipping in a deep slumber.

“I’d enjoy myself more if you came.”

The vulnerability of his voice made her eyes fly open. He was fluffing his hair, meeting Ava’s eyes in the mirror once again. 

“I’m just…very tired, JC. You shouldn’t have made me do Bulgarian squats.”

JC chuckled. “Yeah. That was my mistake. Another time, then?”

“Sure,” she breathed.

JC retrieved his jacket and opened the door. He hesitated before he looked back at her again. “Do you need me to get something for you?”

Before she could process the sudden kindness of the gesture. He continued, “Liniment oil for your muscle pains? Pain relief patches? Or just…you know, snacks, or…” he was having a hard time looking her in the eye now. 

“Um, yeah. Patches would be great.”

He nodded once and went out the door.

She was finally alone, fresh and comfortable in her bed. But now her mind was too active. It was one of the great cruelties in life, when you both want and need sleep, but sleep evades you.

Her mind swirled around JC who was acting a bit kinder and gentler towards her, well, towards Michael. She noticed it after the excursion. He was still harsh towards her during practice, but outside of it, he was strangely caring. Ava didn’t know what changed. 

He could be acting differently towards other people as well. Maybe Beatrice humbled him enough that she substantially altered his outlook in life. She could ask Hans about it or Beatrice herself on what she said to JC.

Beatrice .

Another thing that was keeping her mind alive.

After the excursion, shortly after they all bid their goodbyes she received a swift text from her.

Beatrice : Ava. There might be a change of plans for Sunday. I wanted to tell you before you finalize anything on your end. Michael might inform you himself but the volleyball team has invited us to their exhibition game on Sunday. 

Beatrice : I’ve been told that it will be in the afternoon. I would still have my morning free. We can do something first before we head to the game.

Beatrice : I mean, if you want to!

Beatrice : I’m not sure if you would just want to watch a volleyball game

Beatrice : Although just watching a volleyball game would also be okay

Beatrice : Whatever you want is fine with me, Ava

The rapid influx of texts put a smile on Ava’s face. Beatrice wasn’t one to break her texts in multiples. She usually texted like it was an email, a block of paragraph that had every information and detail the recipient might need.

It was entertaining to see a disruption to that. What was less entertaining was the fact that Ava had to split her body in two.

She has yet to reply to Beatrice’s series of texts. She was holding onto the hope that if Beatrice text etiquette follows an email etiquette then she would be okay for a delayed reply.

She swiped her phone from her nightstand and opened their message thread. 

Ava : bea!

Ava : hi!

Ava : u up?

An eye twitched as she stared at that last text. She let her phone drop from her paralyzed fingers onto her chest. Grabbing her pillow on one side, she turned her head to scream into it. She may have slipped into another level of method acting. Why was she texting like a fifteen-year-old boy?

Her phone pinged.

Beatrice : Hello, Ava. Yes, I am up.

She sat up on the bed in rapt attention. Beatrice was better than her, Ava would never reply to a “u up?” text. Should she apologize for replying late or should she just get on with it?

Beatrice : How was your day?

Oh.

Ava : busy

Ava : exhausting

Ava : class has been demanding

She paused in thought. What does a Comms major even do? 

Beatrice : I see. Is that why you replied to me just now?

Ava swallowed. Her palms started to have this clammy feeling. She began to run a hand through her hair, a nervous tic she does. But she forgot she had the wig on and knocked it out of place. It was distressing to be hit with such a blunt question.

But she was strangely into it.

Ava : im sorry bea 

Ava : 😭😭😭

Her phone rang. Beatrice was calling her. 

She hesitated answering. Maybe she was going to get an earful. She will have the same fate as JC. After this call, she'll be nicer and kinder to every living being, sentient or not.

She took a deep breath and pressed the green circle. “Hello?”

“Ava?”

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I wante–”

“I’m sor–oh, you go ahead.”

Ava heard Beatrice's light chuckle at the other end. “I wanted to call because there may have been a slight misunderstanding.”

“Oh, no. You don't want to meet me on Sunday anymore?”

“What? Ava, no. I wanted to call because you may have read my text wrong. I was kidding. It had a funny tone in my head but I see how you would have read it.”

“Oh, I–that makes sense.”

“You really think I’d get mad because you replied late?”

“I don't know…it’s just that your texts...”

“My texts? Ugh. I wanted to delete all of them and start over.”

“Why? They were cute.”

There was rustling from the other and then a long stretch of silence. Ava had to check if the call hadn't disconnected. Then, Beatrice's soft voice came from the other end. “Am I messing this up?”

Ava's knee-jerk reaction was asking what this was. But the question didn't taste good on the tongue even when she didn't utter them. Beatrice was being vulnerable and vulnerability was the only appropriate response.

“Of course not, Bea.”

“Aren’t I? I sent you a frenzy of texts and joked that I got angry about you not replying but it didn't land.”

“I’ve seen worse than that, Bea, don't worry.”

She has. She received her fair share of “u up?” messages, for example.

There was rustling again. Ava wanted to know how she was positioned, was she laying down? Sitting down? Leaning on a wall? 

Why do you want to know that? Ava questioned herself.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Bea.”

“Okay…”

Ava felt the silence weighing on Beatrice even through the phone, sensing her nervousness even after Ava’s assurance.

“Bea?”

“Hmm?”

“You wanted to know if we could do something before the game?”

“Oh. Um, yes. I–if you want and if you're free.”

Was Ava free?

It was an exhibition match. But Coach Superion was a cut above the rest. She liked checking all the boxes. And the game is against Divinium . It will never be just an exhibition match. 

“Maybe not immediately before the game because I have…something.”

“Right, of course.”

A laugh from Ava sputtered out as she said, “I’m not done yet, Bea.”

“Oh. Okay please go ahead.”

Ava bit her lip feeling a strange feeling of endearment towards Beatrice's continuing apparent nervousness. “But we could do something much earlier in the morning?”

“Much earlier?”

“Yeah. That wouldn't really be a disruption to your morning routine, would it?”

Ava could hear Beatrice smiling. “No, I supposed it wouldn't.”

“Great. Should I just…go to your dorm? Throw pebbles at your window?”

She laughed through her nose. “You can just call me when you arrive, Ava.”

“But I wanna throw pebbles on your window.” Ava pouted even Beatrice couldn't see her.

“You could. But the bed directly outside my window belongs to my roommate and you wouldn't want to wake her like that.”

“Lilith?”

There was a pause. “How do you know her name?”

Shit. Fuck.

“Uhh, Michael. He has been yapping.”

Beatrice considered it for a moment then nodded. “I can't say he divulged the information voluntarily. I caught Lilith and my other friend, Camila, practically interrogating him.”

Ava sat up straight. “About?”

“They wouldn't tell me but I have a great hunch that it was about–” she seemed to realize something too late “–about…nothing.”

“About nothing?”

“Nothing. It was something that–it was an inside joke. You wouldn't get it.”

“Wow. You are such a terrible liar.”

“I take that as a good thing. Would you be proud if you were a good liar?”

Beatrice’s tone was teasing but Ava couldn't ignore the guilt that overcame her. Since she has stepped foot in this school, she has been stacking one lie on top of another. She doesn't exactly feel proud.

Lying back down on her side, tucking a hand under her pillow to feel its cool side. “I suppose I wouldn't.”

A beat passed. “Say, Bea?”

“Say, Ava?”

“What do you think of Michael?” She has been wanting to parse out the difference between her personas for a while.  She doesn’t act that much differently when she's being Michael but Beatrice doesn’t regard them with the same amiability.

She heard the shift in Beatrice’s voice that suggested she wasn’t expecting this segue in the conversation “He's…good, Ava. He shows up for meetings when we have them. He carries his weight around as well. Yeah, he–he's good.”

“Are you like–do you consider yourselves friends?”

There was a big intake of breath and a big sigh before Beatrice answered. “I don’t–um, where is this going?”

Ava hung her head on the edge of her head, her displaced wig threatening to fall. She clicked her tongue and just removed it completely. JC wouldn’t be home till dawn anyway. 

She combed her hair out, the tips of slightly sweeping the floor as she moved her head. “I’ve just noticed that there is this divide between you two. When I talk to him about you, he doesn’t, like, he doesn’t have anything to say because he, um, he said that you two aren’t that close.”

“I mean, I suppose. Should we be?”

“No, I was just wondering.”

Silence fell again and Ava was going to fill it herself when Beatrice spoke again. “Besides, I’m content with being close with his sister.”

Ava almost fell on the floor if it wasn’t for her timely slapping the linoleum first before her whole body followed. She grunted as she pushed herself back on the bed with the combined strength of one forearm and abdominal muscles. 

“Ava?”

“Ye–yes. Yeah, I’m here.”

“Did I say something wrong again?”

“No!” Ava said a little louder than was necessary. She said in a softer voice, “Beatrice, you haven’t said anything wrong at all.” Ava thought she should go back and pester her about Michael since she hasn’t actually given her a concrete answer as to why she treated him differently but Beatrice’s words drove at her brain. It wasn’t even outright romantic but Ava got lost in the in-betweens all the same.

Ava could hear keys jiggling at the other end of the line. “Ava, I’ll–we’ll just text oka–”

“Who’s that?” Judging by the preppy voice, it was Camila. “Why do you look guilty? Who are you talking to on the phone?”

“No one.” Beatrice sounded far away and then her voice sounded too close, “Stop! It’s nobod–”

“Hello? Hello?” Camila half-screamed, Ava had to withdraw the phone away from her ear.

In the background, there was a faint “Camila, it’s nobody you know.”

“The caller ID says ‘Ava’ with a flower and a leaf emoji. I know who this is. Hello? Ava? 

“Hi?”

“I’m Camila, Beatrice’s roommate.”

“Hi, Camila.” Ava said.

“Camila, I swear if you don’t–”

There was shuffling and an “Ow!” 

Then, Camila was talking lightning fast. “Okay, listen here, Ava, I don’t have enough time because I just locked Beatrice in the closet and she will kill me when she gets out so answer me as directly as possible. What’s going on between you two?”

“Going…on?”

There was a thud. “Beatrice!” A muffled groaning. “I’m telling Lilith! LILI–”

The line went dead.

Camila died.

***

When Ava woke up at 4 to get ready to meet Beatrice, she had a long text waiting for her to read.

Beatrice : Ava, you might be asleep but I hope you read this before you get out of the comfort of your bed. Camila has decided to pull an all-nighter which is suspicious because she has never and doesn't need to do that. If you ask me, she's just waiting for me to sneak out. I also have a suspicion that in case I do slip by her, Lilith will be waiting outside. I don't want to give either of them the satisfaction of catching me red-handed. With all that being said, I’m afraid I will have to postpone our excursion for the nth time. But I will be seeing you in the afternoon? Can you teach me a few of the basics of volleyball? I’ll see you soon. 🙂

The postponement was a blessing in disguise. Without prior announcements, Coach Superion called an early morning call time for the exhibition match. 

She didn't make them do their usual drills as that would have tired them out before the game could even start. Instead, they did conditioning exercises and a lot of pep talks in between longer-than-usual resting times.

Coach Superion wanted a win. It was a no-bearing game but she surmised that “–winning this game affects the psyche. Winning today means gaining confidence. It means getting an upper-hand. I don't have to tell you what losing will get you.”

After the last round of exercises, Coach Superion adjourned them for the morning with directions to return at 4 o’ clock. “You need to arrive before the Divinium bus stops at the parking lot. They may be our rival school but sportsmanship still exists. Respect begets respect. I don’t want to hear your opinions about their school. We welcome them. We give them what they need.” She turned to JC. “I expect you to inform Mr. Silva of the formalities we always follow and remind the rest of your teammates in case they want to act like cavemen who can spike a ball. Decorum, gentlemen. I expect decorum. Civility. Are we clear?”

“YES, COACH SUPERION!”

Back at their dorm room, JC ran her through their welcome routine. He was splayed out on his bed, throwing a volleyball in the air and catching it. “As captain, I wait by the school gate because I need to hail their bus, get on it, and, well, show them around the campus basically.”

“Like their tour guide?” Ava lent him her ear as she packed her duffel bag. She needed a quick change if she was going to slip by and join Beatrice on the bleachers. She wasn’t included in the first 6 anyway. They won’t even notice her leaving for a couple of minutes.

“Yeah. Exactly like that. Anyway, when the bus stops at the parking lot, the rest of you should be forming a line, alright? A Divinium member gets off the bus, a Warrior member will escort them to the gym.”

Ava’s head snapped to him. “What? One by one?”

“Yes, Michael. One by one. Whoever Warrior is left will escort 2 Divinium members because I need to stay behind and escort their coach and their bus driver to the gym myself.”

Ava slowly shook her head. “Isn’t that a bit too much?”

JC waves her off. “You’ll get used to it. You know how Coach Superion is.”

“And where will she be?”

“She’ll be waiting in the gym with the staff preparing the Divinium’s water and towels and all other things those guys might need.”

“A guillotine for their coach maybe.” Ava murmured but it may have been too loud since JC reacted. His ball throwing stopped and all his attention was focused on her.  “You don’t like the guy?”

Ava gnawed the inside of her cheek, deciding if she should divulge this information. She shrugged. “She told my sister boys are stronger when it comes to sports.”

JC’s face broke into a scowl. “Is that right?”

“He’s an asshole.”

“You want me to spike his flavored water with vodka?”

“How would that help?”

“I may have seen him drunk one time. And he may have this habit of doing cartwheels when he’s hammered.”

Ava tilted her head, intrigued. “Is he any good?”

He gave a pained half-smile as he firmly shook his head.

Ava pictured Coach Adriel cartwheel and landing squarely on his back. “Huh. That’s tempting.”

“Just say the word, Michael.”

Ava chuckled.

JC’s face crinkled in good humor. The silence that follows after for a few seconds was punctuated by JC catching the ball in his hands. When he spoke again, the air hardly carried his voice. “Don’t forget what we practiced, alright?”

“Pretty sure I won’t be playing.”

“You don’t know that. You might get to sub in.”

Ava gave in to the idea. A chance to prove to Coach Superion to see what she was truly capable of, what she could bring to the team. “I’ll get benched throughout the whole tournament.” She said jokingly, hurting her own feelings in the process.

“Hey.” She looks back at him over her shoulder, smirking a little but it soon fades when she registers the earnestness in his face. “I said I’ll get you in the first 6. We’ll make it happen, Michael, alright? Trust me?”

In that instant, Ava realized why he was the captain. The man could speak to you with such steadiness and firmness in his voice that made you believe him. 

***

They went through their welcome routine without a hitch. When Ava saw Coach Adriel with his man bun, she had to lower her gaze to hide her eye-roll. Watching him, she could detect that he was playing a role of a different man: wide smiles, enthusiastic gestures. He was playing this exhibition like he neither cared nor gave it much thought.

But Ava knew him. He wanted a win as much as Coach Superion. The difference was, Coach Superion wasn’t hiding it. After the initial pleasantries, Coach Adriel sat leisurely on his chair but Coach Superion remained standing, her lips moving with reminders to the first 6 as they took their places. 

While the first set was unfolding, Ava was keeping a mean grip on her duffle bag, ready to sneak to the washroom when the botany club appeared. But so far, it was a testosterone-filled gymnasium, with the shouts  of “Mine!”, “I got it!”, “Away!” and the squeak of rubber shoes and the ball hitting either limbs or floors.

Ava’s leg bounced from anticipation. Her attention was divided between the ongoing game and her imminent transformation in a gymnasium bathroom.

She felt a vibration from her duffle. 

Beatrice : Walking to the gym, Ava! Fair warning. My friends will be hounding you with questions. Please ignore most of them.

Ava got up so fast she got lightheaded. Her benchmates looked at her, silently questioning where she was going. She gestured to her stomach and they nodded in sympathy. She threw the duffle bag over her shoulder and headed for the shower rooms. When she checked that she was the only one there, she locked the door and started shedding several layers of baggy clothes plus her wig. 

She picked a mustard-yellow sundress not only because it hugged her in all the right places but also because it would be easy to take off. She then took off her shoes and socks and opted for birkenstocks. She shoved all of her volleyball attire back in the duffle and assessed her face in the mirror. She tied her hair in a low bun, freeing the short ends so it could frame her face. 

Beatrice : Where are you?

“ Shit fuck ,” echoed in the bathroom as she hurriedly applied liptint and pinched her cheeks to bring color to them. She adjusted her girls to perk them up and did a little twirl for good measure.

Ava spotted Beatrice almost immediately. It was hard not to. She looked ethereal. It was the first time she saw Beatrice not wearing overalls or a uniform. She wore a black button-down top over wide leg pants. It was by no means the height of fashion, but the way it fit her and the way she carried her clothes…Ava practically sprinted towards her. 

Beatrice spotted her. Ava caught her eyes raking her up and down. It was quick and subtle but Ava caught it all the same. She felt a swoop in her belly that she had to hold onto a railing. 

Beatrice tapped the seat next to her and it got Ava’s legs working again. 

Ava only had ten or so more steps. Ten or more to reach Beatrice. To hug her and talk to her about whatever. To explain the rules of volleyball, perhaps, as the game unfolds. To try to ignore Camila and Lilith, who sat on the other side, likely to be Beatrice’s request. To build a little conversation cocoon where no one else was welcome.

But before she could make the ten or more steps, she heard a loud thump. 

A Warrior was down. The kind of injury that a team worries about. The kind where a player spends a second too long lying down. Ava saw the guy wince as they slowly helped him up. She saw Coach Superion ask something to him. She saw him shake his head.   

Coach Superion’s gaze drifted to the benched Warriors and Ava felt a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

“Where is Michael Silva?”

She saw JC’s gaze whip to the benches, his smile fading as quickly as it came. He said something to Coach Superion and she appropriately called for a time out.

Ava blinked.

She turned to Beatrice. “I have to find my brother.”

Beatrice’s brow scrunched. “They’re already looking for him, Ava. I’m sure he just went to the bathroom.”

He did come into the bathroom but his hair was currently smooshed in a duffel bag. “No, um, this is really important to him and I’m afraid that he might miss this chance.”

“Ava, I don’t understand–”

“I’m sorry, Bea. But I have to go.”

When Ava returned to sub in, JC ran to him and patted him on the back, “Welcome to the first six, Michael.”

Ava wanted to avoid the bleachers, afraid of what she was already expecting to see.

She took her place on the court, next to JC who gave her a smile and a wink. Before the referee could whistle, she turned her head to where Beatrice was sitting. 

It was empty.

Chapter 5: Distance

Notes:

you guys still here??

Ava surprised herself with how quick she was to snap out of her confused emotions regarding Beatrice’s swift exit. She felt the guilt and other negative feelings she wasn’t ready to name–brewing, bubbling, rising. But she pushed it all down to be felt at a later, more convenient, date.

It helped that Coach Adriel was sitting with his arms crossed with a fake smile on his face with no fucking clue that a girl is about to beat his team. It also helped that Ava was facing former schoolmates, so-called volleyball friends whom she bonded with over the same love for the sport, but whom she heard nothing from when it mattered. 

They snickered, Ava recalls, Coach Adriel insulted me and they snickered.

The referee’s whistle split the air, and she felt it like a live wire snapping through her veins.

***

Later, when the Halo Bearers and ArqTech Warriors bowed to each other in a graceful act of sportsmanship, when Coach Superion clasped Ava’s hand to formally welcome her to the first six, and when JC finally stopped shaking her in that overly fond way of his, Ava slipped away to the showers. There, with the hiss of water echoing softly around her, she closed her eyes and let the droplets skate over her aching body like fleeting hands. Only then did the full weight of exhaustion settle in—the delayed ache of every dive, every leap, every push past her limits. It had been a long time since she’d played with such deliberate fire, with every move sharpened by purpose.

She played some motherfucking volleyball.

No movement was wasted. The coaching staff would later inform her that her attacks were at a 90% accuracy rate.

It was marvelous. Her playing was marvelous

She just wished she enjoyed it.

Throughout the four-set match, she was driven by pure, unfiltered loathing. Had she counted how many times JC shot her a concerned look after every point—without a single smile or word of acknowledgment—she would have run out of fingers.

The person who mattered saw her play. Coach Superion saw her play—the only person who ever needed to. So why did she keep imagining Beatrice in the stands? Sitting there, eyes fixed on her, maybe even impressed? The thought clung to her like sweat she couldn’t wash off. What did it even matter if Beatrice was watching or not? It shouldn’t. But it did.

It was a skewed state of mind to be in. On one hand, she was glaring daggers at a man blissfully unaware of her rage; on the other, she was longing for a girl to notice how fast she could send a ball flying off her arms.

She hadn’t even made it to her bed after the shower before her fingers were flying across the keyboard, flooding Beatrice’s inbox with message after message.

When Ava made the winning point, she went straight to her duffel bag and dug for her phone expecting to see texts from Beatrice cussing her out.

But there was nothing. And it hurt more like that.

Ava: bea?

Ava: bea im sorry

Ava: talk to me please?

Ava: i can’t really explain what happened 

Ava: but

Ava: please know that i wouldn’t have done it if i didn’t have to

The waiting, the silence, the endless spiral of thoughts—it was all slowly killing her. Her hand hovered over the call button, suspended between hope and humiliation. The phone rang and rang, time stretching thin around her. She might have waited forever, if not for the three sharp beeps and the message that broke the spell: Did Not Answer.

***

The next day, when Ava finally saw Beatrice, it felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her. Without warning, Beatrice strode into Chemistry class. In the few heartbeat-seconds it took for her to cross the threshold and take her seat, Ava studied her in a new light.

Did she look like she’d been crying?

Were her shoulders slumping, just a little, under some invisible weight?

Was a strand of hair loose from the usually perfect ponytail?

Any outward sign, any subtle tremor, that maybe, somehow, she had chipped away at Beatrice’s energy.

But she looked, to Ava’s dismay, unbothered.

“Hey, Pres!” Hans called out.

Beatrice looked his way, giving a curt nod and a small, polite smile. A barbed wire of jealousy tightened around Ava’s chest. She didn’t realize she was scowling at Hans until he looked back, concern softening his face. “You okay there, Michael?”

Ava immediately smoothed her expression. Right. She wasn’t Ava right now. She wasn’t the person who had wronged Beatrice. Michael had clean hands. Michael could talk to Beatrice.

The thought struck her like a lifeline, steadying her, emboldening her. She pushed herself off the ridiculously high stool and started toward Beatrice. But before she could even reach the table, Beatrice’s eyes met hers. “You left,” she said.

Ava froze on the spot.

“They were looking for you to sub in when your teammate injured himself. Is he okay by the way?”

Michael. She was talking to and about Michael, Ava chastised herself.

“Yes! He, uhh, he’s okay.”

“Where’d you go?”

Ava reused the excuse she’d given her benchmates. She pressed a hand to her stomach, and Beatrice nodded in instant understanding. The gesture of a stomachache was universal.

“You left, too,” Ava said carefully. “I noticed.”

Beatrice’s brows lifted in surprise before her eyes dropped. “Yeah,” she murmured. “I was… also feeling something bad in my stomach.”

Still shielded by the safety of Michael’s persona, Ava threw caution to the wind. “I also noticed that you and my sister… uh. Are you guys okay?”

Beatrice made a deliberate show of pulling her textbook from her bag, flipping it open to a dog-eared page. “Did she say something to you?”

“No. But she… she’s very easy to read.”

Beatrice looked up at that, her expression unreadable. “Is she?”

“You don’t think so?”

“She’s… no.” Beatrice’s eyes drifted back to the page, though they never moved from one spot. “I can’t read her,” she said softly.

It was a quiet confession—one she’d never made to Ava when she was herself, nor to Ava when she was Michael.

Ava’s heart sank a little at that. “It’s a twin thing,” she said gently. “You know—growing up together, you just… learn to read someone’s energy. And hers has been way off lately. I was wondering if maybe you’d know anything about it?”

It was like flipping a switch. The sharp inhale Beatrice took was warning enough, but even if Ava had missed it, the look that followed made it clear—the walls were back up. The softness from moments ago was gone, shuttered behind practiced indifference.

“Why don’t you ask your twin,” Beatrice said, her tone clipped. Final.

***

Ava didn't need an alarm to wake her up at the crack of dawn the next day. Her body knew she had to make amends and it became clear that Michael won't be of help.

The mistake was hers alone to fix.

So she came bearing an offering: brewed coffee, two mugs, sugar, and honey. A peace ritual disguised as routine. Maybe, if Beatrice saw the effort, she’d see the sincerity too.

But when Ava reached the greenhouse, it was dark. The usual warm glow of the string lights was gone. No soft hum of a heater, no silhouette moving among the leaves. The space felt hollow, emptied of the person Ava had been waking up for every morning.

Nevertheless, Ava kept walking. Her feet moved on their own—past the empty paths, past the locked greenhouse door—until she found herself standing outside Beatrice’s dormitory.

She couldn’t undo weeks of waking before sunrise in a single morning. Her body was wired for this hour, restless and waiting. Ava scanned the windows, every one of them was dark.

Fishing her phone from her pocket, she dialed Beatrice’s number, holding her breath as she strained to catch the faintest sound of a ringtone.

The call didn’t go through. Not even a ring. Just a dead, empty silence. Of course. What had she expected? That Beatrice would pick up before dawn, voice thick with sleep, and pretend everything was fine again? Maybe she had. Maybe some part of her actually believed Beatrice would glance out the window, see her standing there, feel a flicker of pity, and come out to meet her.

The air was colder here than it had been in the greenhouse. It pressed against her skin, biting, reminding her she didn’t belong in this space anymore—not in Beatrice’s mornings, not in her quiet routines. Somewhere behind one of these windows, Beatrice was sleeping through a morning that used to be theirs.

***

After school, Ava went back to the greenhouse, half-hoping, half-dreading that she would finally catch Beatrice there.

And she was.

The space was steeped in a soft, suspended quiet—only the steady whirr of the ceiling fan and the delicate rustle of pages breaking the stillness. Sunlight slanted through the high windows, spilling over the long worktable where Beatrice sat surrounded by her world: scattered jars, trimmed leaves, open books, and careful sketches. Her hair was pulled up messily, held in place by a pencil, a few strands falling loose as she bent closer to her notes.

Ava stopped at the doorway, watching her for a moment. Beatrice looked completely at ease here—focused, untouchable—ringed by a fortress of botany guides and labeled samples that seemed to warn Ava, without words, don’t come closer.

She took a deep breath and approached, balancing two cups of coffee. “I brought peace offerings,” Ava whispered, setting one down beside Beatrice’s elbow. “Organic. Sustainably sourced. Brewed with love.”

Beatrice didn’t look up. “Does it come with silence?”

“Sorry,” Ava said, sitting down anyway. “Fresh out of that.”

Beatrice’s hand moved across her sketchpad, labeling the cross-section of a fern with precise lettering. “I’m working, Ava.”

“I can tell,” Ava said. “The wrinkles on your forehead screams ‘please go away,’ but your fern says ‘I secretly miss you.’”

That earned her a brief look, the kind of look that felt like Beatrice was deciding between laughter and homicide. “You’re reading into ferns now?”

“Some people journal, I emotionally project onto flora.”

Beatrice sighed through her nose, returning to her notes. “The Fair’s next week. I have to finalize our species list and prep the display layout. So if you don’t mind.”

Ava leaned on the table, lowering her voice. “I didn’t come here to distract you. I came to…” She trailed off, searching Beatrice’s face for a sign that she was being heard. “…to say I’m sorry.”

“What I want you to do is call your twin. I have something for him to do.”

Ava perked up. “I can do it.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Yes, I can.”

The words slipped out before she could stop herself. A flicker of irritation sparked in her chest, sharp, defensive.

“I need him to haul sacks of fertilizer with a wheelbarrow from the greenhouse to the club’s booth. Can you do that?”

Ava hesitated for a brief moment. “Of course I can.”

“Don’t be stubborn, Ava.”

“Hey, these arms can lift.”

Beatrice’s eyes flicked to her arms, so quick it could’ve been imagined. But for a fleeting second, Ava swore she saw it: the slightest pause, the faintest trace of attention that wasn’t purely pragmatic. Then Beatrice blinked, expression resetting to its usual calm efficiency.

“I need your arms to lift your chair and leave,” Beatrice said evenly, then, more softly, almost to herself but loud enough for Ava to hear, “you’re good at that anyway.”

“Bea, look—”

Beatrice’s hand shot to her phone on the table. She pressed it to her ear. A second later, Ava’s phone buzzed from inside her bag.

Beatrice’s brows knitted together. She glanced at her screen, checking the caller ID—confirming what Ava already feared.

Under the table, Ava fumbled through her bag, thumb scrambling for the mute button. The ringing cut off with a sharp, guilty silence. Beatrice’s eyes flicked to Ava—a quick, cutting glance that said more than words could. Ava mustered the most innocent smile she could at that moment.

Beatrice lifted her phone again, pressing it to her ear, waiting for Michael to answer.

The ring tone filled the space between them, thin and shrill against the walls of the greenhouse. Ava sat frozen, her throat tight, her pulse keeping time with every ring that didn’t stop. “If you’re calling my brother, he doesn’t wake up until 11am. They usually have practice after class and it knocks him out cold every night.”

Beatrice held her gaze. Ava tried her best not to look away from it, afraid of failing a test she somehow found herself in.

Then Beatrice lowered her phone slowly, eyes still locked on Ava. Her voice is steady but stripped of warmth. “Seems like disappearing runs in the family,” Beatrice murmured, reaching for her notes again.

Ava felt her energy plummet from  the dismissal. She stood, the chair scraping softly against the floor. “I should, um… let you get back to work.”

Beatrice didn’t look up. “You should.”

Ava hesitated, wanting to say something, anything, that might soften the edges she’d only made sharper. But Beatrice was already writing again, pen gliding over paper like Ava had never been there.

So she left. Quietly, carefully, as if any sudden movement might break something fragile that was already cracked.

***

The morning of the fair hit like a fever dream. The campus was a blur of banners, folding tables, and students sprinting around with clipboards and bundles of string lights. The air smelled like fried dough and paint thinner.

Near the east courtyard, the Botany Club’s booth was a storm of motion. Stacks of potted herbs and flower arrangements cluttered the tables, and cardboard signs leaned precariously against crates labeled “Compost Tea — Do Not Drink.”

At the center of it all was Beatrice, clipboard in hand, commanding the chaos with surgical precision. Her hair was tied back in a loose braid, a few strands sticking to her temple from the heat.

“Lilith, shift the ferns closer to the entrance. Camila, stop flirting with the Agri booth and finish hanging those tags.”

Lilith didn’t even blink, already hauling a tray of plants with practiced efficiency. “On it.”

Camila, who was halfway through balancing a watering can on her head, grinned. “Relax, Bea, we’re the first ones here! Plenty of time!”

Beatrice exhaled through her nose, clipboard in hand. “We don’t need an audience to get things done, Camila.”

It was then that Beatrice spotted Ava, the sleeves of her volleyball team shirt rolled up, looking awkwardly at the wheelbarrow full of soil she’d just nearly tipped over.

“Michael! You’re late!”

Ava flinched at the name but straightened, lowering her voice an octave. “Yeah, sorry. Took a wrong turn and ended up helping this kid build a time machine out of a car. Long story.”

“Time machine,” Beatrice repeated, unimpressed. “Grab those pots and move them to the second table. Carefully. And don’t mix up the basil with the lemon balm.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“After that, fix the canopy. Then run to the greenhouse for the extra compost. And tell Mr. Morales to lend us his extension cord.”

Ava blinked. “All of that?”

Beatrice’s head snapped up. “Do you have somewhere else to be?”

“No, ma’am.” Ava adjusted her cap and jogged off, muttering under her breath, “I swear you’d make a great military officer.”

Lilith caught it. “You haven’t seen her during exhibit week.”

“Don’t scare him,” Camila said with a wink, looping a vine across the booth’s banner. “He might run before the seedlings do.”

“I can hear you both,” Beatrice cut in, sharp but distracted, scanning her checklist again.

For the next half hour, Ava became a one-man delivery system. She ran between the booth and the greenhouse, carried soil, taped signs, and accidentally watered her shoes. The more Beatrice barked orders, the more her hat slipped and the deeper her scowl became—though not once did Beatrice look at Ava long enough to notice how her scalp had inconsistent hairlines. As Ava scratched her wig again, feeling the dampness and irritation, she wondered how drag queens do it.

By the time Ava dropped the last sack of compost near the booth, sweat darkened the back of her shirt and dirt streaked her cheek. She leaned against the pole, chest heaving.

“Camila,” she managed, “I think the plants are judging me.”

“Only because they can tell you’re stressed,” Camila said cheerfully, misting a tray of seedlings. “Plants pick up on negative energy, you know.”

Lilith deadpanned, “That’s pseudoscience.”

“Still true though.”

Beatrice didn’t even glance up. “Michael, stop talking to the plants and go get the labels from the greenhouse.”

Ava blinked. “Again?”

“Now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ava muttered under her breath, trudging away.

She made it just past the music booth before collapsing onto a bench behind a stack of unused chairs. The world tilted slightly—a blur of laughter, chatter, and someone announcing raffle tickets over the speaker system. Ava yanked off her cap and wiped her forehead with the back of her sleeve.

She’d thought facing Beatrice would help. That doing something useful—even under disguise—might make things less heavy between them. Instead, it only seemed to widen the gap. Beatrice didn’t even look at her the same way anymore, not even when she was supposed to be Michael.

Ava took a long, shaky breath. The air smelled like fried bananas and sunburn. She was just about to close her eyes when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

It was JC. “Yo, where are you? Need you ASAP.”

She hesitated before answering, forcing her voice low again. “What’s up?”

“You got a sister, right? Ava?”

Ava’s pulse kicked. “Uh. Yeah. Why?”

JC’s tone was excited—too excited. “We’re short one girl for the kissing booth. Your sister’s cute?”

“I don’t know if I should answer that.”

“Tell her to swing by!”

Ava froze. “…You’re joking.”

“Not even a little bit. It’s for charity! So get your twin here fast!”

Ava blew air from her nostrils, “Fine.”

JC sounded nervous, “So, uh, where are you?”

“Botany booth,”

“Oh. Uh, you’re not gonna visit our booth?”

“Haven’t had a chance to, kinda booked and busy over here.”

“Oh, well. You should stop by, you know? Didn’t we have a deal?” 

“...Deal?”

“Well, weren’t you gonna feature your band? You're the lead vocalist, remember?”

Ava hung up before he could say more, staring at her reflection in the dark phone screen—the smudged face, the dirt on her shirt.

“FUCK!”

***

Out of the baggy shirt and back in her usual, more feminine style, Ava moved cautiously through the crowd, scanning for the basketball team’s kissing booth. She’d done her best to rid off the fertilizer stench by using wet wipes and could only hope she hadn’t missed a stubborn smudge of dirt somewhere on her skin.

Tables were stacked with stuffed animals, signs, and an unfortunate amount of sticky candy. Finally, she spotted JC, standing near the booth with that familiar half-grin, looking distractedly at the line of students. She tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

JC spun around, eyes widening—just slightly. “Oh—hey.” His voice was casual, though the quick clear of his throat betrayed him. “Uh… you’re… here. Um, Ava, right? Wow, you look exactly like him.” His gaze flicked past her. “Where’s Michael?”

Ava caught the faintest flicker in his expression—disappointment, maybe. “Beatrice has him doing drills, unfortunately.”

JC let out a short laugh. “What are his chances of survival?”

“Honestly? May he rest in peace,” she said, deadpan, earning another laugh.

 “So… the kissing booth?” he said, gesturing vaguely toward the table. “Follow me.”

As they walked, Ava noticed he kept a subtle distance, glancing over at the next guy who was up for a kiss. The boy was…less than hygienic, hair sticking up in all directions, sleeves stained with what might have been yesterday’s pizza. 

JC’s nose twitched slightly.

“Yeah…we’ll, uh, we’ll rotate you in next,” JC said, his voice low. “Get in, do your thing, get out. Simple.” He gave her a tight-lipped smile and a subtle shake of his head, like he was second-guessing his own plan.

“So I just…” Ava gestured to the vacant booth with a considerable line of people.

“Yeah, go for it. I’ll be here in case there’s funny business.”

Just then, Ava’s phone buzzed. She managed only a quick glance, it was a text from Beatrice: 

Bea: Michael, where are you? 

Beatrice was never one to use more than a single symbol to show urgency, yet Ava could feel the weight of that lone question mark echoing through the screen.

She sank onto the seat inside the kissing booth, the curtain closing her off from the fair’s glow. Shadows draped over her face, but the faint spill of light from her phone cast a soft glow across her hands. Her fingers hovered, then began to move — hesitant, uncertain — tapping out words she wasn’t sure she wanted to send.

Ava: walked Ava to the kissing booth. Brb

Ava only caught that the message had been read before the curtains flew open. She had to squint—a freshman-looking boy beamed at her with a wide, toothy grin. Ava forced a smile back, hoping he wouldn’t catch the faint scent of fertilizer clinging to her.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Ava managed, unfamiliar with the formalities of a kissing booth. 

“I’m not here for a chat,” the boy announced. “I’m just here to collect my kiss.” He whipped out a tube of lip balm then proceeded to coat his lips in an unapologetically thick layer and puckered theatrically.

Ava blinked, half-amused, half-bewildered. “You do realize this isn’t a drive-thru, right?”

He grinned, completely undeterred.

Ava couldn’t help but laugh. She leaned forward, catching only a glimpse of the boy’s glossy lips before closing her eyes, bracing for the inevitable transfer of lip balm.

“Ow!”

Her eyes flew open. The boy was gone—and in his place stood the next person in line, a few feet away, wide-eyed and just as stunned. They stared at each other for a split second before he awkwardly stepped back then bolted.

Just then, she heard JC’s voice. “Hey, B! What brings you here?”

Only then did Beatrice step into her line of sight. Her nostrils flared, her expression unreadable—anger? Annoyance? Concern? Ava couldn’t tell.

Beatrice came around, her steps quick, decisive. She grabbed Ava’s hand and pulled — not gently.

Ava didn’t fight it. Something in her chest ached as she let herself be dragged along, fingers caught in Beatrice’s grip. Whatever this was, wherever it was leading, she was ready to follow.

***

Beatrice didn’t stop until they were well past the last booth. The sound of laughter and pop music dulled into background noise as they crossed the open field toward the side of the gym, where the breeze smelled faintly of popcorn and cut grass. The noise of the fair faded, replaced by the soft creak of the bleachers and the distant hum of the generator.

When she finally stopped, Beatrice let go of Ava’s hand — or rather, she dropped it like it burned her.

Ava’s skin still tingled where Beatrice had been holding on.

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke. Beatrice stood there, arms crossed tight, her breathing a little uneven. Ava waited, trying to read her face, but Beatrice was looking off somewhere else, jaw clenched.

Then Beatrice said, “Really? A kissing booth?”

Her tone wasn’t loud, but it was sharp enough to sting.

Ava blinked, startled. “What about it?”

Beatrice turned to her, eyes narrowing. “You were just—what? Going to kiss strangers now?”

Ava frowned. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, really?” Beatrice shot back. “Because from where I was standing, it looked exactly like that.”

Ava took a small step forward. “It’s for the event, Bea. It’s literally a fair. You know—fundraising, fun, community spirit—”

Beatrice’s laugh was short and humorless. “You think it’s fun to have people line up to—” She stopped herself, shaking her head as if even saying it was too much.

Ava tilted her head, confused. “You know, if you wanted a kiss from me, there was a line. You didn’t have to punch a freshman.”

Beatrice froze. Her mouth opened, then closed again. “I did not punch…” she started, “I just pushed him and I didn’t expect he would…tumble so easily.”

“I didn’t actually see anything. I was just guessing.” Ava couldn’t stop the grin tugging at her lips as she caught the faint bloom of color rising in Beatrice’s cheeks.

“Well, you guessed wrong.”

“Hm. Then I have another guess.”

Beatrice said nothing, her eyes fixed on the grass—clearly avoiding Ava’s.

Ava tilted her head, voice lilting with mock curiosity. “What were you doing in the kissing booth anyway? I can only assume you wanted a kiss. And judging by your reaction, you definitely weren’t expecting me to be the—what do they call it—the kiss vendor.”

She paused, watching Beatrice’s jaw tighten. 

“So…were you expecting a kiss from someone else? Maybe the other girl who was running the booth before me?”

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t care about kissing booths.”

“Really?” Ava smirked. “Because from what I saw, you just vaporized a freshman for wanting one.”

Beatrice threw up her hands, exasperated. “Fine. Sure. Michael told me you were in the kissing booth, and I didn’t want you there.”

Ava blinked. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? I—of course I don’t want you kissing strangers! And I’m going to have a stern talk with Michael about letting you in the first place.”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Ava said.

“Yes, it does.”

“Strangers or not, Bea, it’s just a kiss.”

“No it’s not –”

“It doesn’t matter–”

“It matters to me!”

Beatrice looked at her then—really looked—and the pain in her eyes was impossible to miss. “I’m… so confused by you, Ava.”

The humor drained out of Ava in an instant.

Beatrice went on, voice trembling between frustration and something rawer. “You go on a date with me…and then you just vanish. And now you’re suddenly okay with giving away kisses that I’m trying to—”

She stopped herself, the rest caught in her throat.

Ava stared at her, heart pounding. Trying to what?

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” Beatrice looked at her, her face blank, signaling to Ava to keep talking. “You didn’t want to talk to me.”

Beatrice gave a small shake of her head, her eyes drifting toward the fair—to the blur of lights and laughter in the distance. Then, softly but firmly, she said, “What is this, Ava? What’s going on?”

Ava felt her heart slam against her ribs. She tried to breathe, but the air was too thick. “I don’t know,” she managed, voice unsteady. “I just…I didn’t plan to—” She faltered, every word slipping away as soon as she reached for it. “When I met you, I—”

Beatrice’s gaze was fixed on her, sharp yet trembling. “You what?”

“I don’t know,” Ava said again, this time softer, almost breaking on the words. “I keep trying to figure it out but whenever I’m near you, everything just—” She gestured helplessly between them. “It doesn’t make sense.”

Beatrice exhaled shakily, a humorless smile tugging at her lips. “You think this makes sense for me?”

Ava opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. All she could do was look at her—the hurt in her eyes, the frustration barely held together. 

Beatrice took a slow step forward, close enough that the space between them felt charged. Her hand brushed against Ava’s, a fleeting touch that sent a jolt straight through her.

“Why don’t we start somewhere simple,” Beatrice said softly, her voice steady but her eyes uncertain.

Ava swallowed hard. Her heart was pounding so loud she could barely hear over it. 

“I’ll…go first,” Beatrice said, though her voice wavered. Then Beatrice’s fingers found hers, tentative at first, then surer. Her palms were warm, grounding, and the slow drag of her thumb across Ava’s skin made it impossible to think.

Ava’s breath hitched. The world around them—the noise, the laughter, the distant hum of music—seemed to fade, leaving only the thrum of shared silence between them.

Beatrice’s touch lingered, her voice barely above a whisper. “I like you, Ava.”

Ava tried to find the words, the right ones, but they tangled in her throat. Everything she wanted to say—apology, confession, explanation—crowded at once, demanding to be spoken yet refusing to come out.

“I…” she began, eyes flicking up just long enough to meet Beatrice’s. But before she could finish, a voice cut sharply through the air.

“Bea! Ava!”

They both froze, the spell breaking. Beatrice released Ava’s hands quickly, stepping back. The loss of contact was instant and cold.

JC was waving as he jogged toward them, oblivious to what he’d interrupted. “Hey! Have either of you seen Michael? The stage team’s freaking out, he’s supposed to sing in five!”

“He’s at our booth,” Beatrice said curtly, eyes fixed anywhere but on Ava.

“Oh, good,” JC said, catching his breath. “Thanks.” He glanced between them, brow furrowing slightly. “Everything okay?”

Ava forced a smile. “Yeah. Just talking.”

JC nodded, unconvinced but willing to drop it. “Alright. I’ll find him then.” He jogged off, leaving the two of them standing in silence again, but the moment was gone, fractured by his interruption.

Ava stared at the spot where Beatrice’s hand had been moments ago. “I was going to say something,” she murmured.

Beatrice’s expression softened for half a heartbeat before she shook her head. “Maybe next time,” she said quietly, and turned toward the fair.