Uncle Boris

by KriegSchnee

Summary:

The adventures of the Dallon's favorite Uncle.

Chapter 1: Bring your parents to school day

Vicky hated going to school whenever it was 'Bring your Parents to School Day'. While the other kids got to leave class for an hour or two to have lunch with their parents, Victoria and Amy were stuck with their teacher with the other handful of students whose parents also didn't come. The young fourth grade student stared at her goldfish crackers with her arms crossed, with her best imitation of Mom's scowl on her face. Amy sat at her desk on the other side of the room, reading her book silently since Miss Hernandez gave them free time. She didn't seem as disappointed as Vicky was. 

 

Mom and Dad had promised that they would be able to make it this year. Even Uncle Neil and Auntie Sarah took time to go visit Crystal and Eric at their school! Why didn't Mom and Dad do the same for her and Amy? Vicky's stomach growled, which made her reach a hand out to grab one of her crackers, but she pulled it back at the last second. No eating! She was supposed to be mad and protesting right now. Her Auntie Sarah and Uncle Neil weren't even available to be substitutes, since they were always busy with hero work. It wasn't fair! Life wasn't fair! 

 

Vicky puffed her cheeks with air and held her breath to stave off her hunger. It's been an hour since she last ate anything, and her plan was failing. 

 

"Bwuah." Victoria gasped, finally opened her mouth, breathing in loudly. She grabbed a handful of goldfish and stuffed them in her tiny mouth. The young blonde licked the palm of her hand, cleaning it of the cheese powder that coated her favorite snack. Mmm, the salty cheese powder tasted good. 

 

Ms. Hernandez's class phone started to ring, which caused the goldfish to feel like they were swimming around in Vicky's stomach. Another one of her classmates, one of the ones she didn't talk to since they smelled weird, was about to go have fun. 

 

"Hello?" Ms. Hernandez said out loud, not bothering to look up from her binder as Vicky stared at her intently. Please-please-please be Mom or Dad! She'd even take Aunt Jess or Uncle Mike even if they did hate going out in public! "Yes, I'll send them." She hung up. 

 

Them? Them?! That meant more than one person right?! Victoria and Amy were the only siblings left in the class! Ms. Hernandez finally looked up from her binder. 

 

"Victoria, Amy, your guardian is here." Ms. Hernandez smiled. She knew how excited Vicky had been. "Please go to the main courtyard." 

 

"Yay!" Victoria practically jumped off her seat, with a large grin on her face. It was finally her year! Wait a minute, Ms. Hernandez said guardian. Did that mean one of her aunts or uncles came in her parents' place? That was still a win in Vicky's books, as long as she was able to leave class. 

 

"Let's go Vicky." Amy placed her book on her desk, closing carefully to avoid making any bunny ears with the pages. Her younger sister tried acting mature, but her attempts failed as a kiddish smile formed on her normally bored face. 

 

"Yeah!" Vicky was about to run through the door, when Amy interlocked her elbows with the blondes. "No fair!" 

 

Amy's toothy smirk looked funny since she was missing her two front teeth. "No running in the halls." Amy should've known by now that rules were there to be broken. 

 

Silly Amy. 

 

The two sisters left their classroom without another word. By the time they got to the courtyard, it was full of foldable tables and chairs with families already claiming most of them. The big opening in the roof allowed the sunshine to rain on everyone. Vicky scanned each table, dropping her smile, but she didn't see anyone from her family. Everyone looked uncomfortable. 

 

"Do you see Mom or Dad?" Vicky turned to Amy, who was staring off into the distance with wide eyes and a half grin. Vicky waved her free hand in front of her sister's face. "Hellooooo? Amy, what are you looking at?" 

 

Vicky followed Amy's gaze, only to find herself staring at some legs, some very long and skinny legs standing right in the middle of the courtyard. Her gaze moved upwards, causing the young blonde to strain her neck until her eyes finally met the yellow sunglasses that sat on the face of the unusually tall man. Vicky had to use one of her hands to block the sun's glare, which hid the rest of the tall man's features. 

 

She knew those sunglasses, and there was only one person in the entire world, no, the entire galaxy that was as tall as him! 

 

"Uncle Boris!" The two girl's shouted in unison as they ran towards the middle of the courtyard. They didn't notice all the strange glances that the other parents and students sent their way. Each girl wrapped their arms around one of the man's legs, like they used to do whenever he was in town. 

 

"Hmmm? Who's this?" Uncle Boris said slowly as he looked down. He always made the funniest faces that could even make Amy laugh. And it was funny, he always talked so slow when he was one of the fastest people that Vicky knew. She heard that he was even faster than Legend and Alexandria! He only used his powers to perform light shows whenever it was New Years, or thr Fourth of July. 

 

"You already know it's us, Uncle Boris." Amy giggled, making sure not to step on their tall uncle's shoes. His head almost poked through the top of the courtyard. His real name was too long and hard to pronounce. 

 

"Yeah!" Vicky agreed, nodding her head as hard as she could. Uncle Boris was her favorite uncle. 

 

Sorry Uncle Neil and Uncle Mike! 

 

"Ohhhhh, I see." Uncle Boris' face always looked like he swallowed a lemon.  "Victoria and Amy-Claire. Did you two get taller?" 

 

"I did! Amy's still short." Vicky finally let her Uncle's leg free, and placed a hand on the top of her head. "I grew a whole inch!" 

 

"Nuhuh." Amy stuck her tongue out in Vicky's direction. "You got shorter!" 

 

"So what are you doing here?" Victoria ignored Amy's protest. Uncle Boris always let them do whatever they wanted, whether it was letting them climb his limbs like a tree, or letting them have an extra tub or two of ice cream even when Mom told him no. 

 

Uncle Boris hummed to himself for a few seconds before deciding to answer. "Africa's too boring now, so I decided to spend time with my two favorite nieces."

 

Ha! Take that Crystal! Mom must've called him. Still, Victoria was victorious! Hehe, she was so smart. And she had the World's Strongest Hero for an uncle. 

 

Life was amazing. 

A/N

This'll most likely end up being a two-shot. This was inspired by real life, whenever my parents couldn't make it they sent grandparents or a cousin in their place. It was rare, but it did happen. 

 

I wrote this in honor of the debut of the live action One Piece series. 

 

Now I need to update Smoker the White Hunter. 

Chapter 2: Bring Your Parents to School day 2

Since Uncle Boris was so big and tall, he had to bring his own table and chair which had to be placed outside. It didn't matter in Vicky's eyes, she liked the special treatment that she often got because of her family. Amy did too, even if she did like to complain about it all the time. They were the most famous family in the United States! Her parents started the New Wave movement alongside her aunts and uncles. 

 

"Yummy." Uncle Boris said slowly after a long slurp of his ramen, his bowl being half of Vicky's height. She didn't know where it came from since he wasn't holding it when he got here. 

 

"When did you get back from Africa, Uncle Boris?" Amy asked, eating her half slice of room temperature pizza the school had provided. Vicky had already finished her two slices, devouring them within minutes. She could still feel the red sauce on her mustache, cleaning it with her tongue. 

 

"An hour ago." Uncle Boris lifted his huge bowl to his lips, drinking his spicy broth. He lowered it once he was done, placing it on the table. "Alexandria kept nagging me to fight Ash Beast, all I wanted was an easy vacation, so she made me late." He extended the way he pronounced the words, making Amy giggle. 

 

Victoria's wide eyes must've looked like shining stars. She didn't know much about the world, but she did know that Ash Beast was a super strong villain somewhere in Africa! "Did you?!" 

 

Uncle Boris leaned back in his unusually large seat, crossing his long legs. He pointed his index finger to the sky. "I'm just a cog in the machine that runs the world, and orders are orders. Ash Beast is now ashes." 

 

Victoria's mouth dropped. She wanted to be as strong as her Uncle when she was older! Would she end up being as tall as him? "Woah " 

 

Uncle Boris was so cool! Even if he was a bit lazy, letting other heroes and her family boss him around despite being the strongest hero on the planet. He even took time out of his busy schedule to come and see Vicky and Amy at their school. Crystal and Eric were going to be so jealous once Victoria told them. 

 

"Can you do a light show?" Amy was fidgeting in her seat nervously. She only acted like this around Uncle Boris, who treated all of his nieces and nephews equally. Vicky and Amy were his favorites of course, Uncle Boris always said so whenever they asked. 

 

"Your Mother specifically told me not to do that on school property." Uncle Boris answered with an airy voice. The reflection from his yellow sunglasses hid his eyes. "She acts like Sakazuki sometimes, it's annoying." 

 

"Awww." Amy pouted, crossing her arms. Vicky joined the process, filling her cheeks with air to make her pout cuter. 

 

"But she never said anything about not having a light show at home." Uncle Boris continued after a dramatic pause. 

 

"Yay!" Amy's grin was infectious. Uncle Boris' light shows were always the best! Victoria always enjoyed watching the explosions that happened afterwards. 

 

"Ex-Excuse me." A familiar, yet unknown voice joined their conversation. Vicky twisted her neck to get a better look at the newcomer. Oh, it was the Principal, a dark skinned man with a balding head in a gray suit with blue lines that went up and down. It didn't look as cool as Uncle Boris' yellow suit. 

 

"Hmmm?" Uncle Boris turned his head to look down at the much smaller man. "Who are you?" 

 

"I-I'm Mr. Watkins, the principal of this school." Principal Watkins said, pressing a small towel against his sweaty forehead. Vicky was such a good student, she only had a meeting with him once this year! Some classmates had made fun of Amy, for not looking like her. They ended up transferring schools. 

 

Uncle Boris' face never changed, even when he blinked as slow as a snail. "Yes?" 

 

"I was wondering if I could have your autograph!" Principal Watkin's normally deep voice squeaked. "I-It's just, it's not everyday that the famed Endbringer Slayer comes to visit my humble school."  

 

Uncle Boris stared at her Principal blankly. 

 

"And I'm such a big fan!" Principal Watkins added lamely. Amy hid her giggles behind her hands. It was funny, seeing the normally serious man geek out over Vicky's uncle. 

 

Uncle Boris kept staring, making Mr. Watkins sweat even more. He finally spoke after what felt like forever. 

 

"Of courseeee." Uncle Boris said, dragging the word longer than he should have. He reached into his snazzy jacket, and pulled out a comically large pen. 

 

"T-Thank you! Thank you so much." Principal Watkins held out his notebook which he had hidden behind his back. Flicking his wrist, Uncle Boris wrote a single word in Japanese, one that Victoria knew by heart after practicing it with Amy. 

 

Kizaru . 

 

---

 

 

"Thank you so much for coming Uncle Boris!" Victoria said with a large grin. The special lunch passed by too quickly in Vicky's opinion. Still, she couldn't wait to see how jealous the rest of her classmates were gonna be! Having a family full of superheroes was amazing. 

 

"Yeah! It was awesome!" Amy joined in, hugging Uncle Boris' leg again. He had to slouch since he was taller than the roof inside the school. All of the parents, students and teachers that walked by stared in awe, not being as brave as Principal Watkins. 

 

Uncle Boris gave them a funny smile. "Make sure you two pay attention in class. I was told to tell you that by your Mother." 

 

Amy released her hold on Uncle Boris and nodded firmly. She tried to look serious, but she just ended up looking as funny as their Uncle. 

 

"I'll see you two at home." The bottom of Uncle Boris' legs started to shimmer yellow. "Bye bye!"

 

"See you later Uncle Boris!" Amy waved. 

 

"Byeeee!" Victoria imitated her sister. 

 

Uncle Boris disappeared in a flash of yellow light that sliced a hole in the school's roof. Vicky and Amy stared at the hole with wide eyes just as the fire alarm went off. 

 

"He's so cool." 

 

A/N

This isn't going to be a two shot anymore, instead it'll be an anthology of one or two shots depicting different adventures that Kizaru goes on. He's my favorite of the original Three Admirals. 

 

Considering that I cosplay as him at several anime\comic cons makes me biased.

Chapter 3: My Lawn!

The best part of the school week, in Amy's opinion, was being able to visit Uncle Boris on her way home. Whenever he was in town at least, and not out on some adventure. He always told Amy and Vicky the best stories. She rode the bus route that led back to their neighborhood, but got off a few streets before her own home. Uncle Boris' house stood out the most, since it was the biggest one in their neighborhood, literally. The doors were taller to match his insane height, and the rest of his house's proportions were just as huge. It looked cartoonishly out of place in their relatively normal neighborhood. 

 

"Finally." Amy muttered under her breath as her bus finally came to a stop. Vicky normally joined her, but she had basketball practice, and Amy wasn't in the mood to see other people fawn over her much more popular sister. People only liked to hang out with the two of them since their family was the head of the New Wave movement. Amy heard the sound of a large engine the moment she left the bus, causing the ground to rumble, sending vibrations up the middle schoolers legs. 

 

The shadow of Uncle Boris' house loomed over the entire street, and was easily visible from Amy's stop. She started walking, practically bouncing with every step thanks to the vibrations her Uncle caused. After what felt like an eternity walking, Uncle Boris' lawn took up most of the street, Amy finally reached the front of his house. Her Uncle was outside, mowing his large lawn with an oversized lawn mower that he must've custom ordered. One of the wheels was as wide as Amy was tall. She stood at the entrance to the pathway with her hands on her hips. 

 

"Uncle Boris!" Amy shouted loudly. She had a lot of practice over the years to perfect her shouting and yelling. Uncle Boris' real name was Borsalino, but Amy and Vicky spent so much time calling him 'Uncle Boris' that it stuck. He kept mowing the grass near his pathway, acting as if he hadn't heard her. "Uncle Boris!" 

 

Uncle Boris' loud lawn mower easily overpowered Amy's voice. Amy shot him a glare, until he finally decided to turn the lawn mower off. He was wearing black shorts with a plain white shirt today, only keeping his yellow sunglasses from his regular outfit. A gray beanie hid his dark hair that still hadn't gotten a chance to gray. 

 

"Wearing socks with sandals is a crime!" Amy yelled. Uncle Boris scratched the back of his head, until he finally decided to look down in Amy's direction. 

 

"Amy Claire, what are you doing here?" Uncle Boris said slowly, saying each word carefully. It looked like the funny look he always had on his face was permanent. "They're easy to put on."

 

"They're still ugly." Amy said with a giggle. "And can't I visit my favorite uncle from another world?" 

 

Uncle Boris leaned against the lawn mower with a sour smile. "I'm your only uncle from another world, Amy Claire, and Lexi says that supposed to be classified." 

 

"We both know you don't actually care." Amy fired back. Uncle Boris told them everything that he did, or least he told her parents. She liked to eavesdrop on the adults when they talked. 

 

"That's true." Uncle Boris gave her a funny look and kept scratching the back of his head. "I have lemonade inside if you're thirsty. I need to put this up." He patted the handle of the lawn mower. 

 

Amy smiled. "Thanks, Uncle Boris!" 

 

Spending time with Uncle Boris was better than being home alone with Mom and Dad. It was awkward, whenever she was alone with them without anyone else around. Amy walked into her Uncle's house, using the small door that was built into the much larger one. She'd have to make a quick stop by his pantry to grab some sugar, Uncle Boris' lemonade was always a bit too bitter for her taste. Victoria liked it, but she always did like anything that Uncle Boris did. 

 

Amy was halfway down the hallway, she heard a large explosion, being knocked off of her feet by the shockwaves. She landed on the ground face first, sending a sharp pain throughout her nerves. 

 

"Ahh!" Amy grabbed her nose, it hurt a lot. What was that? Did Uncle Boris do something stupid again? Amy felt her broken nose drip with blood. "What did you do this time, Uncle Boris!" Amy shouted. She got back onto feet unsteadily. 

 

She left her backpack on the ground and made her way back towards the entrance. Amy swung the door open. 

 

"What the hell was that-" Amy started and choked on her next words when her eyes landed on the bisected form of her Uncle's body on the front lawn. Several trucks that were parked in front of his house quickly sped off as the bottom part of Uncle Boris' body started to glow yellow, heading in the direction of his torso. His body was reformed in the blink of an eye, and he was back on his feet amidst his now ruined lawn. Holes from grenades and small fires ruined his dark green grass. 

 

"Hmmm?" Uncle Boris turned towards Amy. "Sorry about that Amy Claire, it looks like one of the gangs still hasn't learned their lesson." Uncle Boris looked as relaxed as usual. He stared at her broken nose which she tried covering with her now bloodied hands. Uncle Boris' smile never left, but even Amy could tell he was mad, she spent years trying to learn to read him. "I'll be right back, Amy Claire." 

 

Uncle Boris stuffed his hands in the pockets of his shorts and disappeared in a flash of bright yellow light. Amy groaned as she went back inside his house. Mom was definitely going to kill her, she always got mad whenever Amy got hurt around Uncle Boris. Nobody messed with Kizaru, the man who was able to take on the entire Quadrumvirate by himself and win. 

 

Nobody. 

 

---

 

 

" Around 5:00 pm earlier today, members of the Empire engaged the legendary hero, Kizaru near Monkey Lane. Reports indicate that Kaiser was spotted on the scene and was easily taken into custody ." The pretty news lady on the television screen reported. Amy silently held her popsicle to her now fixed nose while Vicky kept her much stronger arms around the mousy girl. " Eyewitnesses report that Kizaru was yawning the entire time ." 

 

"Uncle Boris is so cool." Amy heard Vicky mumble under her breath. Amy nodded slowly with a wince. 

 

"Yeah." The television screen showed some of the blurriest photos of Uncle Boris in his socks and sandals, aiming his index finger in the direction of the Empire capes. He did look bored. 

 

" When asked by our reporters on the scene about his rampage against the Empire Eighty-Eight, Kizaru had this to say." 

 

The television screen showed Uncle Boris at a weird angle as the cameraman struggled to meet his eyes. He still looked bored, without a care in the world. 

 

" They ruined my lawn." 

 

Damn you Uncle Boris. 

A/N

Yeah, Fleur is still alive here, and Hero too. I enjoyed the live action adaptation of One Piece.