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Nat knows she acts oblivious sometimes, but she isn’t, alright? She’s totally knowledgeable on lots of things, or whatever. She knows the walk home from campus takes two minutes less if she makes aggressive eye contact with every cab driver she comes across. She knows that vegan food isn’t actually awful, no matter how much she likes to complain about it. She knows Lottie’s coffee order for days when she feels like giving in to her sweet tooth, and remembers the nights the book club Lottie likes to drag her to happens, even if she thinks it’s stupid.
She also knows that, historically speaking, seeing Lottie whispering closely with another blonde girl can’t possibly be a good thing.
//
This thing between her and Lottie starts the summer after graduation, when she overstays her welcome at the Matthews’ annual summer barbecue, meaning she gets a little too drunk, and so does Lottie, and before she knows what hit her they’re having a heart to heart in the fucking pool house, hiding from the handful of other guests remaining. She tells her she got a super late acceptance to NYU this week, on a full scholarship and everything, and it’s honestly still fucking wild to her, how that actually happened. Lottie’s an enthusiastic drunk, so she hugs her super tight, screeches into her ear, and then tells her she’s going to Columbia, so they’re both gonna be in the city. She has no idea why she didn’t know that, but then again, she and Lottie weren’t ever really what you’d call close friends.
That’s literally how it happens; they just kinda drunkenly decide it’d be good to stick together. NYC’s a big city, after all, and it won’t hurt to have someone as tall and intimidating — in stature only, because Lottie couldn’t hurt a fucking fly — as Lottie in her corner when they get there.
Nat kisses Lottie a week before they leave for New York, just because she looks really pretty floating in the Matthews’ pool in the golden hour light with her cheeks all flushed, and it’s easy enough to get her out of her bikini and into her bed after that. The taller girl looks at her with the cutest fucking smile in the world as she comes down from her orgasm, and Nat’s wondering if being around Lottie is gonna be her new addiction, now that she’s quit cigarettes, ‘cause the girl hasn’t even made her come yet and she’s already thinking about ways to get her to do this again.
It’s pretty damn shocking when she realizes she might actually like her.
//
About a month after they move to the city, Lottie apparently gets it in her head that they should have some sort of conversation about all of this.
They’ve been hooking up pretty much any chance they get, and Nat hasn’t even thought about looking at anyone else since that night in July when she found out Lottie Matthews isn’t just gorgeous, funny and rich but also really damn good with her mouth. She’s insatiable and always wants more, and Nat’s pretty sure she couldn’t go out and fuck other people if she tried; she doesn’t have the time management skills juggling all that would require, not to mention the sex drive for it, and they’d probably be worse than Lottie anyway.
No, seriously, Lottie’s actually insane in bed. She’s a pretty easygoing person most of the time, but she gets this look of determination in her eye the second any of Nat’s clothes come off, and then she’ll have her on her back so fast, Nat has to actually, like, be careful about flirting with her in public in case the brunette decides the bathroom of a shitty campus bar is as good a place as any to get on her knees for her. (She’s speaking from experience.)
She’s been spending a ton of time at Lottie’s fancy one-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side which is conveniently situated right in between their respective campuses, and obviously she can’t exactly bring Lottie back to her dorm room. Her roommate’s this annoying conservative girl from Maine who she has literally nothing in common with, and she’s pretty sure the only way she could make the girl like her even less is if she had loud, gay sex right in front of her. Lottie did once go down on her while Emily was passed out drunk in the room with them, but having to be quiet when Lottie’s got her mouth on her is near impossible, so that was a one-time thing. She was drunk and definitely not thinking clearly and… Her point is it makes a lot more sense for them to hang out at Lottie’s place. It’s spacious, and quiet, and a lot fucking nicer than her tiny four-by-four dorm room.
Anyway. They’re making out on Lottie’s bed one afternoon, and it really is just kissing and over the clothes stuff; Nat’s tired from a full day of classes, and she totally flunked her statistics test this morning, so Lottie’s kind of been fawning over her and brought her back here to feed her dinner. She’s acting more like a girlfriend and less like a friend she happens to be sleeping with every day. Kissing her all slow and sweet and telling her she’ll make her feel better after she let her eat real, non-vegan pepperoni pizza on her couch? Totally Lottie Matthews’ way of being a doting girlfriend.
“Natalie.”
As soon as she hears her full name, she knows this is gonna be a genuine attempt at conversation, and not just the kind of non-sensical in-between kisses chit chat they usually go for.
“Yeah?”
“I wanna talk.”
Nat’s pretty sure they shouldn’t do that. She much prefers it when they don’t talk.
“Yeah?” she repeats, poses it like an actual question this time. She’s on top of Lottie, so she sits back on her legs a little and tries to look like she doesn’t totally know where this is going. She can tell from the look on Lottie’s face, from the little worry line between her brows. It’s funny because she can tell that Lottie can tell that she can tell, if that makes any sense at all. There’s this hardened look in her eyes that gives her away.
At least they both know exactly what conversation they’re having here.
All Nat can think about is how she doesn’t wanna be the one to fuck this up for them. Like, if Lottie tells her she wants a label, and to be girlfriends or whatever, she’ll be her girlfriend. It wouldn’t change anything about how things are, anyway — they’re basically already in a relationship. She’s cool with whatever way Lottie wants to run this.
“The way things are between us is good, right?” Lottie pauses to bite her lip, then rephrases her own sentence. “I think things are really good how they are.”
Cool, okay. So she’s not ending things, at least. Nat doesn’t really care about the fine print.
“Sure.”
That’s code for explain yourself, and Lottie knows that by now.
“I think we should just keep doing this. Swim with the tide, and…”
Nat laughs. “Can you say that again, but in English this time, Lot…”
Lottie props herself up on her elbows and shakes her hair out a little.
“I think we should… I don’t want this to be— We should just be what we are right now,” she says decisively, regaining her confidence. “I don’t want anything to change.”
“Then why’d you bring it up?” Nat asks, purposefully casual, as if she wasn’t just thinking about how being in a relationship really wouldn’t be so bad, and how she’s here all the time anyway and… Lottie kind of shrugs her shoulders, bites her lip and Nat decides she doesn’t mind. She thinks she just really likes Lottie a lot. “That’s fine, yeah, okay.”
“So we still agree we can see other people,” Lottie states, but it kinda sounds like she’s asking. She runs her hands over Nat’s thighs and shoots her an uneasy smile.
The mere thought of Lottie fucking someone else makes Nat want to gouge her own eyes out, but she also knows Lottie probably isn’t going to. She definitely hasn’t been. It’s something they’ve talked about before, how they’d tell each other if they did that, or wanted to, and she trusts Lottie not to lie about that kind of thing. She’s not holding her breath for a text in the middle of the night where Lottie’s telling her she’s about to finger some basic Columbia brat at a party, and she knows she won’t be doing it to her, either.
But Lottie looks like she’s waiting for some sort of confirmation here, so Nat says, “Sure,” and leans in to kiss her, except she pulls away before they can get lost in it again. “Wait, did you meet someone? Is that it?”
Lottie flashes her this really cute smile, her sharp adorable canines glistening in the light coming from the lamp on her bedside table, and she shakes her head like the mere notion of that is absurd. It makes Nat feel really, really good about all of this. “Definitely not.”
See? Totally fine.
They make out for a little while longer and then watch a movie in bed, cuddle up like Lottie didn’t just tell her she doesn’t want to commit, and Nat wonders what the fuck made Lottie get cold feet. Haven’t things been going really well? Did she do something to ruin this?
The brunette is tucked against her chest, asleep as the credits play, and Nat turns the TV off and sinks down into the covers, pulling her closer. Come to think of it, she doesn’t really know anything about Lottie’s romantic history. She’s sure she probably dated a few people in high school, but she doesn’t remember anything of substance. They didn't hang out much outside of soccer practices and the occasional party, and Nat was kind of high at most of those. Nat’s been around her enough to catch snippets of information about the Matthews’ dysfunctional marriage, so for all she knows, maybe that’s where this is coming from — maybe she’s worried a label would fuck things up and make them dysfunctional, too.
Nat’s hardly the poster child for healthy relationships — she dated Travis for, like, seven weeks last year because he was around and she got lost in his sad big brown eyes but quickly lost interest when she realized he wasn’t just being a dick to be funny; he’s just a fucking dick. That’s the longest relationship she’s ever been in, so it’s not like she’s got a good track record. She can’t blame Lottie for wanting to take her out for a test drive before she commits to the purchase.
It’ll all work out somehow. Despite her usual pragmatism, Nat is sure of that.
//
She’s literally got both of Lottie’s hands pinned above her head and her teeth digging into her collarbone when the doorbell rings. It has to be after nine o clock at night and Lottie’s naked, wet and covered in angry red marks that Nat’s been leaving all over her upper body, and honestly, she’d totally just ignore the door, but Lottie pushes at her wrist until she lets her hands go and looks super confused, so the moment’s ruined anyway.
“Expecting anyone?”
Lottie shakes her head no, looks like a deer in the headlights, and yeah, Nat’s kind of worried. She didn’t even think anyone but her in this city had Lottie’s address in the first place.
“Who would stop by this late at night?” Lottie asks quietly, a little uneasy.
Nat’s still wearing her shirt and underwear, so it makes sense for her to slip her jeans back on and get the door. She throws Lottie’s shirt at her, then gives her a stern look and says, “Stay here, okay?” because she’s not messing around, and New York’s fucking big and scary, even if you have a fancy doorman and twenty-four-hour video surveillance like Lottie. This isn’t suburban Wiskayok; there are crazy people everywhere.
The absolute last person she expects to see when she opens the door is Laura Lee, with her hair held back by a pastel green headband, her gold cross necklace dangling from her neck and a suitcase at her feet.
“Natalie?” the other blonde shrieks, and she’s smiling all big and genuine, and then they’re hugging like it’s not weird that either of them are here right now, at Lottie Matthews’ New York City apartment, where they don’t belong.
She isn’t really sure what to do other than usher her inside and grab her bag for her. Lottie is in the living room when they walk down the hall, wearing a purple satin robe and (presumably) very little else, and her face splits into a huge grin when she spots Laura Lee, and then those two are hugging like they’re long lost friends. Nat just kinda stands there with her arms crossed in front of her chest, because really, did she fucking miss a chapter or something?
Lottie drags her over to the sofa and asks her what she’s doing here, and Laura Lee looks around all solemnly before she takes Lottie’s hand in hers and says, “I did something reckless, Lottie,” like this is a confessional.
Honestly, Nat’s mostly just pissed that she got here right when things were getting good. She had so many plans for tonight, including, but not limited to multiple orgasms for both of them. This kinda feels like she’s being cockblocked by Jesus himself.
Knowing what she does about Laura Lee, which is admittedly very little, reckless to her probably means, like, not saying grace before dinner or something, so forgive her if she isn’t really eager to find out more.
“I decided I simply couldn’t stay at that school anymore! Everyone was so—,” she looks around, clearly paranoid about saying a bad word, “— small-minded! My roommate told me she thought Protestants should burn in hell. Hell, Lottie!”
Nat giggles from her spot leaning against the door frame, and Lottie glares at her. Fuck, okay, fine. She clears her throat and tries to look sympathetic.
“So you dropped out of school?” Lottie asks, sounding shocked. “What are you doing in New York?”
“It was the only direct bus connection, and I couldn’t stay in that place a second longer! One more Sunday service with those people and I would’ve… You know I don’t like being mean, but these people, they really tested my patience.”
Only Laura Lee could make the word people sound like some sort of scandalous insult.
Nat snickers. “What’s so different about them? A bigot’s a bigot, right? Did they call your god fake?”
Laura Lee looks at her hands and shakes her head, and yeah okay, maybe Nat feels a little bad for her. Poor girl looks super shook up. She’ll tone down the jokes for the time being.
“You can sleep on the couch tonight,” Lottie offers. “And then we can figure out a plan in the morning.”
The blonde throws her arms around Lottie in a tight hug, and Nat’s only marginally jealous.
She sits down next to Lottie and plays with her hair a little as the other two catch up, content to not get involved in this conversation. Apparently, Laura Lee has a cousin in the city who promised her he could hook her up with a waitressing gig, which is a start.
“I’m gonna hit the hay,” Nat tells them when she can’t keep the yawns in anymore. “You okay here, Lot?”
Laura Lee glances between them, eyes catching on the bite mark on Lottie’s neck — so what if she got a little carried away? It’s a great fucking neck — then smiles all tight-lipped and asks, “Are you two sleeping together?”
If Nat was drinking anything, she’d probably choke on it. Those words make it sound so much worse than if she’d used more crude language to describe it. It sounds pure, almost, and kind of innocent, which are the last words Nat’d ever use for Lottie and her filthy, filthy mind.
Or maybe she’s just really not ready for someone to call it like it is.
She knows for a fact she’s probably blushing, because it feels weird to be caught out like this, but Lottie just shrugs her shoulders and nods. “We have been for a while.”
That’s a side of Lottie Nat really, really likes — she’s never apologetic about anything. She’s always just herself.
They say good night, and she promises Lottie she’ll set an alarm to help wake her up for her morning lecture tomorrow because Lottie tends to sleep through hers. She’s pretty sure Lottie and Laura Lee stay up talking into the early hours of the morning because Lottie can barely keep her eyes open the next day.
It’ll probably be good for Lottie to have a friend around, even if that means they’ve effectively been sexiled until further notice.
//
She gets stuck babysitting Laura Lee the next day because Lottie has class and Tuesdays are her days off, and they go for a walk around town, grab a coffee and a cookie and watch the leaves fall around them in Central Park.
It’s actually really chill.
Nat’s pretty sure she’s never had a real conversation with Laura Lee, even though they played varsity soccer together for years. She tells Nat about her three younger sisters, all of whom are still living at home, about the pressures of being the oldest, and says something about how she knows her parents are accepting but that she doesn’t want to test that too much yet, which makes Nat wonder what the hell she’s talking about. Probably the dropping out of school thing.
“How did you and Lottie get together?” Laura Lee asks out of the blue after they’ve found a bench to sit down on. Based on how buddy-buddy they seemed last night, she kind of assumed Lottie would’ve told her all about that already, so the question catches her off guard.
“A few months ago,” Nat hears herself say, and fuck, has it really been that long? She can’t believe it’s fucking November already. “But we’re not… um, I mean, we’re not exclusive. It’s casual.”
Laura Lee gets the most scandalized look on her face, and if Nat didn’t know for a fact that the girl already knew they were hooking up, she’d think it’s the notion of them having premarital sex that’s making her eyes bug like that.
Turns out it’s not that at all.
“Why, though? Lottie is such a great person. Who wouldn’t want to date her?”
Aw, that’s cute. Does Laura Lee have a crush on Lottie? That’d be kinda wholesome.
“It was her idea! I wasn’t… I mean, yeah, you’re right. Lot’s cool, or whatever.” She thinks about telling her that whole theory she came up with to make sense of why Lottie doesn’t want to commit. “I’m just kind of following her lead.”
Laura Lee shoots her this no-nonsense look and nods. “She’s a good leader,” she says without a hint of irony. Their eyes meet and she finds sympathy and kindness staring back at her. “I won’t tell her you like her, Natalie, don’t worry.”
Of course she blushes, rolls her eyes dramatically and thinks about denying it, but lying to Laura Lee kinda feels like lying to a fucking golden retriever puppy, so she just sips her coffee and stares straight ahead for a minute.
There’s no way the girl won’t tell Lottie about this.
//
Thank fucking god (maybe Laura Lee is rubbing off on her…) Emily went home for Thanksgiving because Lottie doesn’t say a single word to her before she’s got the dorm room door locked and Nat pinned to it, her jeans unbuttoned and impatient fingers working against her.
Would’ve been kinda awkward if her roommate was around, so…
This is what she means when she says Lottie is a little insane when she’s horny. She means, like, maybe even clinically insane, but in the hottest possible way. Lottie gets her out of her clothes in record time, then steps out of her skirt and boots, and when Nat tries to pull her tights down, Lottie just pushes her down onto the bed and doesn’t break eye contact as the rest of her outfit lands in a heap on the floor.
That’s one thing to be thankful for this week.
“So…” Lottie says after, digging her chin into Nat’s shoulder. Nat can hear the smugness in her voice and knows this isn’t just her regular post-coital ego talking; there’s a little added vindication mixed in today. “You like me.”
Of course. Nat groans, which just serves to make Lottie more smug.
“I fucking knew that little bitch would snitch.”
Lottie giggles and kisses her cheek. “I didn’t really need her to tell me.”
Nat pulls Lottie in for a kiss, smiles into it and murmurs, “Yeah, but it’s kinda sweet that she did,” against her lips.
Leave it to Laura Lee to get them to admit that shit. Maybe they should keep her around.
//
Nat gets sort of suspicious of Laura Lee’s whole presumed (by her, mind you) perfect home life when the girl stays in the city with them for Thanksgiving break. Don’t get her wrong, she’s gotten kind of used to having her here since she’s still sleeping on Lottie’s couch, but she assumed she’d go home to see her sisters for the long weekend, and that dog she always talks about.
She can’t really ask because it’d be rude to. It’s not like she sat Lottie down to ask her why she’s not making the trip back to the Matthews estate for the holiday; Nat knows you can’t exactly choose your family better than anyone. Hell, she’s here too, isn’t she? It’s funny how three people with such drastically different upbringings ended up avoiding their families all the same.
They put on a Friendsgiving dinner of sorts, each bring a couple of straggler friends in the city that have similarly messed up home lives, and Laura Lee saves the day, honestly. She’s the only one of them who actually knows how to use any of the fancy kitchen appliances in Lottie’s apartment, and she manages to make this killer vegetarian roast dish, whips up absolutely perfect creamy mashed potatoes and even gets a little turkey going for the meat eaters among them. (So, like, everyone except for Lottie and her friend Lisa from school, who literally looks vegan; Nat can’t explain it, she just does.)
It’s probably one of the best meals Nat’s had in recent memory, and when she tells Laura Lee as much, the girl beams at her with a smile so bright, it makes Nat think there really might be light at the end of the tunnel.
They all get drunk after dinner; even Laura Lee. Lisa and her roommate leave, so it’s just the three of them and Laura’s recently excommunicated (yes, really…) cousin left sitting around the coffee table knocking back drink after drink.
Laura Lee’s cousin, of all people, is the one who brings out the tequila, and when Nat makes a dig about that, Laura giggles, puts a hand on Jonah’s shoulder and says, “He’s beyond saving, anyway,” and it’s so sudden and sarcastic and unusual coming from her that Lottie and Nat just kind of exchange a quick look before they absolutely lose it.
The girl’s fucking funny.
Nat pours shots for all of them, pushes one towards Laura Lee and asks, “What about you? Given up on all that saving you used to do?”
Laura Lee takes a deep breath for the theatrics, reaches for the glass and throws the tequila back without flinching. No lime or salt or chaser. Where the hell did she learn to drink like that?
“I think so, Nat,” she says, sunny demeanor suddenly back, though her voice is laced with sarcasm, too. “What do you think?”
Nat shrugs, takes a sip of her Corona and tells her, “I think you’re cool, yeah. You’re fine.”
Lottie grins at them, nods like she agrees and raises her own tequila for a toast.
“To New York City,” she proclaims. “Where we do our own saving.”
That makes Laura Lee smile all over again, and she screeches for them to wait so she can pour herself a drink and join in on the toast.
The three of them fall asleep in Lottie’s king-sized bed, Laura Lee wedged in between them, and for the first time in forever Nat feels like she’s actually got something to be thankful for.
//
So Laura Lee’s kind of great with animals, apparently, and without even really trying starts a fucking dog walking business right out of Lottie’s living room. A couple of people in the building approach her about it when she crouches down to pet their dogs in the elevator or something, and then they tell their friends who tell their friends and just like that, she’s got a solid ten clients on her books from Monday to Friday, as well as a couple people on the weekends, too.
“Maybe I should drop out of school and walk dogs, too,” Nat says after Laura Lee’s told her the kind of money to be made on that sort of venture. It’s not half bad.
But really, she has to hand it to her. The girl’s entrepreneurial — that’s how Lottie put it — and gets shit done.
She’s still sleeping on Lottie’s couch, though, and as much as Nat is fine with having her around most of the time, that severely limits their options when it comes to impromptu hookups. She hasn’t gotten Lottie alone — as in well and truly alone with no one in the apartment to overhear — in at least a week, and she knows if she’s going crazy, Lottie must be feeling worse. Her sex drive is kind of unparalleled.
The three of them are watching a movie together one night, and Laura’s on the floor knitting or crocheting or something, while she and Lottie are on the couch, sitting side by side, pointedly not touching. When she reaches for the popcorn and her hand brushes Lottie’s sweatpant-clad thigh, the brunette actually fucking flinches like she’s been fucking tased or something; it’d be funny if she wasn’t feeling similarly frazzled.
At least she’s not the only one struggling here.
The thing about Laura Lee is she’s kind of shockingly observant. She looks up from her knitting work, smiles at them and says, “You know you can just tell me to get lost if you want to be alone. I won’t mind, really.”
Lottie laughs and Nat kind of blushes, but she’s also totally tempted to take her up on that offer and tell her to leave right the fuck now, honestly. Lottie must be able to tell, because she reaches for Nat’s hand and holds it in her lap and slyly shakes her head at her. Fucking tease.
When Laura Lee goes home for Christmas the following week, Lottie literally texts her SHE’S GONE in all capitals, and Nat totally skips her last class of the day so she can run home to Lottie’s.
The brunette is naked and in bed waiting for her when she walks in, legs spread and a hand between her thighs, and Nat wastes no time stripping off her own clothes so she can join her.
They spend most of Christmas break like that, naked and touching in some way, and she’s never enjoyed a Christmas more. They send Laura Lee a selfie wearing these silly Santa hats Lottie got them at the corner deli because she insisted they needed to get in the festive spirit, and Laura replies with one of herself holding a puppy, a contagious smile on her face.
“God, she’s impossible to hate,” Nat says, laughing when Lottie texts back a bunch of heart-eye emojis in their group text. They both have such a soft spot for the girl.
“She’s been a breath of fresh air,” Lottie agrees. “I love having her around.”
Nat hums, pulls Lottie into her lap and says, “You love not having her around right now, too, though.”
Lottie calls her insatiable, which is rich coming from the girl who woke her up at four in the morning today just to bite at her neck and tell her, quote, “I need your fingers,” but Nat’s totally right anyway and she knows it. It’s great, getting to just fuck Lottie whenever she wants to again, and not have to be quiet or uncomfortably aware of the (formerly?) innocent religious girl asleep one door down.
It’s all about balance.
//
After winter break, they fall into this oddly domestic routine. Laura Lee’s still kinda living on Lottie’s couch, has her own shelf in the walk-in closet that’s half the size of Nat’s dorm, and they somehow agree she’s gonna start spending Saturday nights at her cousin’s place without ever really talking about it.
It’s weird because Nat isn’t even sure she minds having her around anymore. She gets Lottie alone when they attend her silly Columbia-sponsored feminist book club on Wednesday nights and go for drinks after, and they have their standing Saturday tradition that involves zero clothing, a bed, and very little else. They get enough alone time that way.
Laura Lee’s dog walking business is expanding to other buildings in the neighborhood, and she recruits this girl she meets at the park to work for her, so she has employees (well, one, but like… still!) now, and she’s looking into community college for next semester, and Nat’s just really fucking proud of her. She never had any doubt the girl would find her way, but it’s still super awesome to see.
When Lottie’s landlord announces he’s selling the place and terminating her lease four months early, Lottie takes both of them out to this really expensive Italian restaurant, plies them with Prosecco and announces, “We’re gonna move in together.”
Which is a pretty compelling idea, honestly, so that’s kind of that. They just all agree and start looking around.
They look at three different places that Lottie’s real estate agent finds for them. They’ve agreed they’re staying in the same area, since it’s convenient for Lottie and Nat because it’s close to their campuses, and Laura Lee has all her clients around here.
The first place is a three-bedroom in one of those ridiculously fancy overpriced fully serviced high rises, and it’s spacious and light and comes fully furnished, but it makes Nat feel like she walked into one of those weirdass indie psycho thrillers where a couple of rich drugged up married doctors murder each other, or something. It creeps her out, how little character the place has. None of them are convinced, so they decide to pass.
The second apartment is a slightly less futuristic take on modern living, and the bedrooms are spacious, even if she doesn’t get why they need three en-suite bathrooms. She’s kind of talking herself into it, and Laura Lee is happy there’s lots of counter space (“For my baking!”) so they turn to Lottie expecting her to be similarly on board. Lottie scrunches up her nose, puts an arm around both of them and whispers, “I don’t like it,” so the agent showing them around won’t hear. Never mind, then. They agreed at the beginning of their search that the decision has to be unanimous.
Thankfully the third and — spoiler alert — final place they see ticks all the boxes. It’s a cute renovated little brownstone, with a huge master bedroom and a smaller second bedroom, and the living room has one of those adorable seats in the window sill that she’s sure Laura Lee will be taking up permanent residence in as she does her knitting and embroidery work. It’s smaller than the other two, but it’s not like they really need the third bedroom. Lottie takes Nat’s hand in hers when they set foot in the master, and it kind of immediately feels like theirs. It doesn’t share any walls with the other bedroom either, not that that’s a huge priority, but, you know. Still. It’s perfect. The exposed brick walls add some much-needed character, and the kitchen has just been repainted, and it’s literally a one-minute walk from their favorite coffee shop down the street.
They take it on the spot, and at least Lottie’s shady Dad is good for some things, like wiring the first six months of rent so they can sign a twelve-month lease. (Nat doesn’t feel bad about accepting any money Lottie wants to spend on her — she knows her family has more than enough of that to go around.)
She officially moves out of her dorm the second week of April, just packs up all her shit with the help of Laura Lee and doesn’t say goodbye to her annoying fucking roommate, and then wonders how the fuck she ended up living in an adorable New York City apartment with Lottie and Laura Lee, of all people. If you’d told her that a year ago she would’ve laughed at you, but Nat from a year ago was kind of way too jaded for her own good, anyway.
Their first night at the new place, Laura Lee bakes a tray of brownies, mixes White Russians because she saw the recipe on Instagram and makes them sit around in a circle on the hardwood floors to make a list of things they want to get for the apartment. It's cute, how excited she seems, and Nat puts an arm around her when she says, “Ooh! Maybe some board games!”
Laura looks like she’s convinced Nat’s about to shoot that idea down, but she likes board games when she’s not feeling cynical, so she just squeezes her shoulder and nods. “How about we start with Monopoly?”
//
Moving the week before finals probably wasn’t the best idea.
Lottie starts exams a few days before she does, which means they kind of take turns being stressed, pulling all-nighters at the library, and once Lottie is finally done, Nat still has two finals to go, so they can’t even celebrate together.
She walks into the living room after a full ten-hour day at the library only to find Lottie on the couch, looking super fucking nervous. She’s got her legs drawn up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around herself, and it makes her look all of five feet tall, which is a pretty impressive feat for a giant like her.
“Hey,” Nat says, dropping her book bag at the end of the couch so she can sit down next to her. “What’s up?”
She knows she’s not misreading the situation when Lottie turns to look at her with this miserable little frown on her face. It’s freaking her out a little.
“What is it?”
Lottie sighs, stretches a hand towards her and plays with the sleeve of Nat’s hoodie. “Promise you won’t be mad.”
That can’t possibly be a good sign.
“Why would I be mad?” she asks, brow furrowing. “What happened?”
The what did you do? is implied, but accusations aren’t gonna help anyone right now.
Lottie turns her head so she doesn’t have to look her in the eye when she says, “I kissed Laura Lee.”
Oh. That’s… What? The concept of the two of them kissing barely even computes because Nat’s never once considered that Laura Lee might kiss people, not to mention that Laura Lee might kiss women. She knows she should be mad here, because obviously Lottie shouldn’t be kissing anyone but her, but she also doesn’t think she feels threatened by their other roommate, of all people.
She’s more curious than mad when she finally asks, “Seriously?”
“I know we said we’d talk about these things before they happened, but we were out at that salsa class last night, and it just… I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Lot,” Nat tells her. “Not like you cheated, or anything.”
It fucking stings to admit that, but they’re still not technically exclusive, even though they share a bedroom and use the same shampoo and toothpaste. They haven’t had a conversation about that yet, and she usually doesn’t feel like they really need to. She doesn’t usually let that bother her, either, but now… Well.
“Yeah, but…” Lottie rolls her shoulders back and groans. “God, I just really shouldn’t have done that again.”
Hold up a fucking second.
“Again?”
Lottie gives her this weird look, something between confused and exasperated and nods.
“Back in high school we… I mean… You— you seriously didn’t know?”
“Wait. So Laura Lee is…”
Lottie laughs bitterly. “Why the hell do you think she dropped out of bible college and turned her back on half of her family, Nat? Do you think she did all that on a whim?”
They sit there for a good twenty minutes, and Nat listens to Lottie reminisce about the couple of weeks their senior year of high school that she apparently spent making out with Laura Lee. She’s not even jealous, she’s just fucking intrigued. Way to hold out on her; all this just kinda makes Nat think Laura Lee is cooler than she gave her credit for.
(Okay, so maybe she is a little oblivious sometimes. Maybe she judged the book by its cover.)
Lottie finally scoots over for a hug, pecks her cheek, and says, “So you’re not mad?”
For whatever fucking reason, Nat shakes her head and kisses Lottie, and really, it’s just to keep from asking her what it was like.
She can’t admit to wondering about that, ever.
//
Nat watches them closely after that. Every hushed conversation they have over breakfast when they haven’t noticed her walk in the room yet, all the little glances and casual touches.
It’s a lot to ponder. She wonders if those things have always been there, or whether something has shifted. Weighs the implications, tries to understand what any of this even means, and finally decides not to bother.
None of this makes any fucking sense, and she isn’t gonna waste time trying to figure it out.
//
Lottie has to go to Boston for the weekend because her Dad is making her go to this dumb Future Leaders of America networking bullshit and Nat finds herself kind of oddly excited at the thought of getting to hang out with Laura Lee one-on-one while she’s gone.
She doesn’t get to do that very often.
Now that the semester’s over, Nat doesn’t have much of a set schedule anymore, so she joins Laura Lee on some of her dog walks in Riverside Park, listens to her calmly praising the dogs whenever they don’t, like, run after strangers and bark, and basks in the nice weather. She knows New York’s about to get disgustingly hot, so she’ll enjoy not feeling like she’s living in a fucking sauna while she can.
Nat’s a terrible influence because while Laura Lee’s the one who suggests they open one of the nice bottles of wine Lottie’s parents sent over for her birthday, Nat’s the one who wordlessly opens the second bottle.
“Lottie would be proud if she saw us like this,” Laura Lee says, cheeks dimpling as she grins.
“Should we call her?”
“No!” Laura Lee is quick to exclaim, and Nat raises her brow at her in amusement. “No, I mean, isn’t she at that dinner?”
“Pretty sure it’s just a brunch tomorrow.”
Laura Lee blushes, averts her eyes and takes a sip of her wine.
She’s seen her drink enough times by now to be able to pinpoint exactly when the alcohol hits her bloodstream. The girl always gets this surge of drunk confidence, pushes her shoulders back and starts saying the most dry, sarcastic shit. It’s kind of Nat’s favorite thing ever.
Right now, she pours them both another glass of wine, puts her feet up on the couch and gently nudges Nat’s thigh with her foot.
“Lottie told you, right?”
Nat nods tentatively.
“Good.”
Their eyes meet and Laura Lee’s fucking smirking at her and there’s a hint of mischief flickering in her bright blue eyes. What is she… Wait.
“Why’d you never say anything?” she blurts out before she can stop herself.
Other people get cocky when they drink; Nat just gets more awkward, but at least she cares less about that when she’s drunk.
“I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you, Nat,” Laura Lee murmurs, eyes closed as she leans her head back against the couch. Nat glances down and wonders when Laura Lee started going braless around the house. Maybe she’s been paying her more attention than she’d like to admit. “Friends kiss sometimes, right?”
What the actual fuck. When Nat glances up from staring at Laura Lee’s hardened nipples (Um…) in the tight white tank she’s wearing, the blonde is looking right at her, a little grin on her lips.
Shit. She totally caught her checking her out.
“Uh, yeah? Sometimes, I guess.”
Laura Lee just nods and sips her wine, and Nat’s probably gonna regret asking, “Why?” later, but what’s done is done.
She kind of doesn’t want to take it back either.
Laura Lee is quiet for a moment, and then she looks her right in the eye and earnestly asks, “Isn’t it weird how we’ve both kissed Lottie but we’ve never kissed each other?”
Nat’s not sure if that’s a genuine question, or if she’s just sort of cautiously hitting on her, but she scoffs nevertheless, rolls her eyes and grins at her.
“You’ve made it weird now,” Nat teases, like things weren’t weird before. “C’mere.”
What’s a little kiss between friends? Laura Lee scoots up the couch until they’re shoulder to shoulder, and Nat carefully takes the wine glass from her hands and sets it down on the table next to her own.
Doubt flickers across Laura Lee’s delicate features for just a second, but they’re already leaning in, and then right before their lips meet, the other girl puts a hand on Nat’s shoulder and asks, “Are you sure Lottie won’t mind?”
Oh, Nat is very sure of that. It’s, like, fucking intrinsic or something, how quickly she arrives at that conclusion.
“She owes me, anyway,” she says lowly.
It’s a good kiss. Fuck, no, she’s downplaying it. It’s a great kiss. She has to bite her lip to keep from saying something totally fucked, like that Lottie taught the girl well. Shit. That’s a visual, alright.
When Nat tries to pull away, Laura Lee chases her lips and grabs her waist until their lips meet again, and then they’re both giggling.
“Alright,” is all Laura Lee says after, and they just go back to drinking wine and talking about random shit.
//
“I know she kissed you.”
“We kissed.” Nat agrees. “Does that bother you?”
Lottie ponders that, shrugs, and says, “I think I wanted you to. Is that strange?”
“Not unless we let it be.”
It’s all kind of easier said than done.
//
Laura Lee meets someone at her gay friendly church service, tells them she’s going out to meet Bethany Grace for coffee, and they hype her up with vigor. Good for her.
Once she’s out the door, Lottie turns to her and frowns. “Should we not have done that?”
Fuck if she knows. She doesn’t have a fucking clue what they’re doing anymore.
“C’mon, Lot. Let the kid have some fun.”
Lottie leans in to kiss her, and Nat tells herself the way she immediately turns the kiss dirty has nothing to do with how badly they both need the distraction.
“She was perfectly nice,” Laura Lee tells them later, sitting criss-cross apple sauce between Lottie and Nat as she digs into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. “But there was no spark, you know?”
Nat nudges her shoulder with hers. “You never know, Lau. Sometimes you gotta kiss them to know.”
They all kind of let her words linger, and before the pause in conversation becomes too pregnant with meaning, Lottie steals a bite of ice cream and nonchalantly adds, “That’s definitely a sure way of telling.”
It’s totally fucked, and she blames herself for it when Laura Lee gives the girl another chance and they actually start seeing each other.
“You were right, Nat, kissing helped,” she confides over the loud music of the Midtown bar they’re in. Lottie’s getting them drinks right now, so it’s just the two of them pressed together in a tiny little booth.
Nat doesn’t know what the fuck she’s thinking when she slides a hand over her knee and asks, “Is she a better kisser than me ‘n Lot?”
Lottie comes back with their drinks before she gets an answer to that question, but she knows the answer has to be no, anyway.
At least if the hand squeezing her thigh under the table is to be believed.
//
It only lasts a couple of weeks, and then Laura Lee casually mentions she’s stopped sleeping with Beth over dinner, and Lottie laughs at Nat when she chokes on a bite of cauliflower.
“Why’d you have to say it like that?”
Laura Lee chuckles. “Did you want me to pretend it was more than that?”
The conversation moves on, but Nat’s mind is still stuck on the mental image of Laura Lee wearing nothing but her cross necklace as she gives it up to some bitch named Bethany Grace. Talk about a waste. She isn’t sure why that thought pisses her off almost as much as it turns her on.
She kind of can’t stop thinking about it, and when she’s on top of Lottie later that night, kissing a path down her neck, she finally decides she needs to know.
“Did you ever… uh, when you and Laura Lee were, you know… Was it just kissing?”
Lottie giggles quietly, pushes a hand into Nat’s hair and asks, “Did you think we were just chastely holding hands?”
Fuck. So they were totally fucking. She grinds her hips down against Lottie’s thigh for some friction and whines when the brunette pulls her close by the neck.
“Do you want me to tell you about it?”
Nat’s nodding and kissing her frantically before she can even really process what she’s doing.
(“God, Nat, you would have loved it. She was so damn eager. Once she went down on me in the locker room showers after practice, and when someone walked by she just told me to be quiet and kept going.”)
She’s never going to be able to look at Laura Lee the same.
//
Lottie comes down with the flu in June, barricades herself in their room and tells Nat to stay away from her so she doesn’t catch it too, and Nat helps Laura Lee make some chicken noodle soup, because Lottie’s totally a flexitarian when she’s feeling down, and clearly this situation calls for exactly that.
They leave the food outside the closed door for her and giggle when they step back to watch her take it inside. Chances are they’ve already caught all her germs anyway, so it feels a little dramatic. Lottie waves weakly and she kind of looks like shit, which means she’s still fucking gorgeous but she’s all pale and there are dark circles under her eyes and her nose is all red.
It sucks that she can’t do anything to help her feel better.
She and Laura Lee watch a couple of episodes of Sex and the City on the couch that night, because the blonde begs her to, slyly bites her lip and says, “I was never allowed to watch it when I was younger,” and Nat just really can’t say no to her. She’s so stinkin’ cute.
When Nat yawns and vetoes starting another episode, Laura Lee fixes her with a shy smile.
“You know you can sleep with me tonight,” she says, then blushes furiously when Nat’s mouth curls into a teasing smirk. Yeah, that definitely sounded super wrong. “In my bed, I mean!”
Tempting.
“Jeez, Lau, buy a girl dinner first.”
Laura just giggles. “I make you dinner all the time!”
They’ve shared a bed before. It usually goes like this: the drinks will be flowing, and then one of them will get tired and they all end up passing out in her and Lottie’s room together. It’s never pre-meditated, and it’s never a sober affair.
It’s also never, ever been just the two of them.
Nat’s briefly nervous about how she sleeps in just her underwear in the summer. She doesn’t have access to her closet right now since Lottie’s being, like, super intense about not letting her set foot in their room lest she catch the fucking plague from her, but Laura Lee just hands her a shirt and says, “I don’t mind if you don’t wear pants. Summer is hot enough as it is.”
Her whole innocent and unassuming act kinda makes her really fucking dangerous, because Nat’s pretty sure she’s hitting on her, but it’s so smooth and subtle she can barely even tell.
The girl literally just told her to not wear pants and the angelic smile on her face is totally making Nat think that’s a good idea.
She spends the first few minutes after they get into bed sort of fidgeting with the blanket, trying to get comfortable, and then Laure Lee throws an arm across her stomach and pushes her onto her side so she can spoon her and murmurs, “Relax, Nat,” in her ear.
How the fuck is she sharing a bed with Laura Lee and she’s the nervous one?!
That shit continues for the next two nights, and on Day 4 of Lottie’s self-imposed quarantine, Nat wakes up to the mattress moving under her, and then she’s suddenly in between Lottie and Laura Lee, essentially being spooned from both sides.
Lottie buries her face against Nat’s neck, damp hair from the shower tickling her skin and breathes in the familiar scent of her expensive cocoa butter lotion. God, she’s missed her.
“Feeling better?” Nat whispers, because she can tell Laura Lee is still asleep behind her and she doesn’t wanna wake her.
Lottie hums affirmatively and tangles her legs with Nat’s.
“I was getting lonely.”
Then Lottie tries to kiss her, except Nat stops her with a grin on her lips.
“What happened to not wanting to get me sick?”
Lottie doesn’t say anything, just runs her fingers over Nat’s bare thigh and up under her shirt, and when their eyes meet, Lottie’s are dark with desire.
She kind of has to kiss her. It’s been, like, four days since she got to touch her at all. She doesn’t give a shit about how there’s another person in bed with them.
It’s chaste and gentle for maybe two seconds, and then Lottie says her name on a breath and slips her thigh between Nat’s, and Nat pulls away abruptly when she feels Laura Lee squeezing her hip.
“What?” Lottie purrs, glancing over at Laura Lee, who must still look like she’s sound asleep. Nat knows better now, though. “It’s fine.”
It’s not fine; it’s fucked.
Laura Lee chooses that exact moment to stop pretending to be asleep, lets out a quiet yawn and buries closer to Nat, her hand on Lottie’s wrist where it’s splayed on Nat’s thigh.
“I’m glad you’re doing better, Lottie,” she says, sounding far too awake for someone who supposedly only just woke up.
Lottie moves impossibly closer so she can reach over Nat and touch Laura Lee, too. “Me too.”
//
Lottie and Laura Lee go on a date, basically.
They both really want to see whatever latest installment in that annoying Tom Cruise franchise that’s been going on for, like, ten years too many and Nat doesn’t think twice about telling them to go without her. She doesn’t wanna see that man do death defying stunts for two hours straight, accompanied by no distinguishable plot whatsoever.
They come home gushing about how fun it was, how thrilling, and Nat teases them about having terrible taste in movies.
“So, do you put out on the first date?” Nat jokes that night, when Lottie is naked in her arms.
“I thought about it,” Lottie says, and she can hear the smile in her voice. “But not without you there.”
That last part’s clearly not a joke because Lottie pushes her ass back against her as she says it, and Nat kinda has to move her hand back between her legs and bite at her neck.
“Shit, Lot,” she rasps, easily slips two fingers into her and moans when Lottie grabs her wrist and tries to get her to go deeper. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”
Lottie lets out this sexy little high-pitched whine, fucks herself on Nat’s fingers and breathes out “I mean it,” and Nat moans loud enough, you’d think she’s the one being fucked right now.
It’s obvious they both want this, but neither of them really knows what to do about it.
//
Leave it to Laura Lee to cook dinner for them, serve this incredible chocolate mousse for dessert and say, “You know, chocolate is considered to be an aphrodisiac.”
Lottie smirks and, in classic Lottie Matthews fashion, immediately flirts back on instinct. “Is that so?”
Laura nods, lips closing around a spoonful of mousse. There’s some chocolate on the corner of her mouth, and she quickly licks her lips to get it, and Nat finds herself thinking she wouldn’t mind licking it off for her.
They spend a few minutes making eyes at each other, all of them at a loss for words, and Nat’s surprised that she’s the one who finally buckles under the tremendous weight of it all. She’s literally about to go fucking insane if this tension in the air isn’t finally gonna result in something.
“Right, are we fucking doing this, or what?”
Lottie actually chuckles, and Laura Lee asks, “Now?”
“You got anything better to do?” Nat rolls her eyes when Laura Lee earnestly shakes her head. “Didn’t think so.”
“Hold on, let’s talk about this.” Lottie starts.
“Fuck no,” Nat groans, and Laura Lee says, “Good idea.”
It’s really funny, actually, even though she’s not in the mood to laugh.
“What’s there to say, Lot? I consent, pretty sure so does she. Let’s fuck.”
Lottie lets out this frustrated breath and kind of looks like she wants to yell at her, but Nat knows her well enough to be able to tell she’s just a little nervous.
“Nat is right,” are the words that come out of Laura Lee’s mouth next, and Nat finds that ridiculously hot. She doesn’t even know why. Then the blonde gets up, walks around the table and puts a hand on Nat’s shoulder. “Come on.”
Fuck. She’s going to die. Like… Seriously. Before she can overthink what her next move here should be, she decides to just get up and kiss her. This kiss is better than the tentative one they shared weeks ago, and she gets lost in it, barely notices Lottie walking past them, toying with the hem of her t-shirt as she backs away.
Lottie is naked by the time they finally make it to the bedroom, never one to waste time, and she sits down with her legs spread, looks up at both of them and tells them to lose their clothes.
It’s impossible to say no to her when she gets like this, so Nat helps Laura Lee out of her skirt, then pulls her own shirt over her head and smirks at Lottie.
“Where do you want us, Lot?”
Lottie’s grin is wicked when she says, “All over me.”
Best fucking idea she’s ever had.
//
The minutes after they’re all finally spent and sated are filled with roaming hands and lazy kisses, and then Lottie giggles and they both join in, because it really is absurd to think about how they ended up here, but it feels good and that’s all that really matters.
There’s a little tattoo right under Laura Lee’s left breast, and Nat can’t stop staring at it. She barely even noticed it when they were in the throes of passion earlier, but now that she’s gotten some of the sexual frustration out of her system, it’s all she can fucking see. It’s a name and a number, in this really simple typeface. She kisses from her collarbone to the ink, runs her fingers over it and asks, “What does it mean?”
“It’s a bible verse,” is probably the absolute last thing she expects her to say, and the girl pushes her tits into Nat’s face when she sucks a little mark into her skin next to the tattoo. “Matt 5:28. ‘But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in their heart.’”
“Holy shit,” Nat says, grinning up at Laura Lee in disbelief. “You got a gay bible tattoo? That’s fucking dope.”
“When did you get that?” Lottie asks, dancing her fingers over it. Nat finds herself glad to hear there are still some things about Laura Lee’s body that are new to her too.
“A few months ago.”
Really, she should probably be freaking out about how easy it is to just turn her head and kiss Lottie again as Laura Lee snakes a hand over her ribcage and cups her breast, but they can worry about that later.
For now, it all feels too fucking good to matter.
//
Fourth of July weekend, the three of them spend at Lottie’s parents' Rhode Island house.
Nat makes Lottie check the security cameras are disarmed three times before she lets the brunette undress her so they can skinny dip in the pool.
They all curl up together to watch the nearby fireworks from the private strip of beach on the property, and it’s Laura Lee who finally leans over to chastely kiss them both on the cheek and says, “I love you both, you know?”
Lottie moves closer, snakes her arm around Laura Lee’s waist so she can touch Nat, too, and Nat does the same.
“We know, baby,” Lottie coos.
Nat keeps her mouth shut because if she says what she’s thinking, they’d probably have to go inside and stop watching the fireworks altogether.
She’s never needed anyone as badly as she needs them, all the time.
//
“Shhh,” Nat teases.
It’s early in the morning, and Laura Lee’s fast asleep next to them. That doesn’t stop Lottie from pressing her whole naked body against Nat’s front, thigh lodged between hers and fingers moving over her hip.
Nat moves her hand to Lot’s waist and groans when her own leg makes contact with Lottie’s center.
“How are you this wet already? Jesus.”
They literally just woke up.
Lottie grins and kisses her, pushes herself closer to Nat by palming her ass and says, “It’s easy when I sleep next to you two.”
Nat thinks Lottie’s gonna fucking kill her someday, by running her mouth like this. It’s way too easy for her to say shit like that, and it gets Nat to give her what she wants every single time.
What Lottie wants right now is apparently to drive her fucking insane by not ever actually touching her long enough for Nat to start blissing out and rocking into her. She’s teasing a hand over her hip, dips it between her legs to brush at her clit, and then moves her fingers lower, but before Nat can even moan and tell her she needs more, the hand comes back to rest on her waist.
“Not yet, baby,” Lottie says against her lips. “I want to taste you first.”
Nat wordlessly turns onto her back and Lottie goes with her, lands on top of her and smirks down at her from her new vantage point.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” she says, and under normal circumstances, Nat would return the compliment, but then Lottie ties her hair back hurriedly and leans down to lick a teasing pattern around her clit, so Nat’s kinda done talking for a while.
Laura Lee stirs next to them when Lottie finally pushes two fingers into Nat, her tongue still working her clit, which gets her to let out a high pitched moan, and the girl hums out a sleepy, “Good morning,” and puts her head on Nat’s shoulder.
Nat’s in no position to speak or do anything, so Laura Lee is the one gently tilting Nat’s head towards her and kissing her lazily, and then Lottie crooks her fingers just right, closes her mouth around her and Nat comes so hard, she thinks she actually passes out for a few seconds.
Lottie is staring at the two of them, her face wet with the evidence of where she spent the past half hour, when Nat finally blinks open her eyes. She grins, smug as always, and then looks between them like she’s weighing her options.
“Now which one of you is gonna fuck me?”
Nat’s still too boneless to move, but she’ll gladly sit back and watch Lottie writhe in Laura’s lap, especially when she knows they have no plans for the rest of the day. She’ll get Lottie back for that wake-up call later.
//
It’s not just sex, though. It never was, not between her and Lottie. Well, okay, maybe it was a year ago when they first hooked up just because they felt like it, but she’s not dumb enough to suggest it hasn’t been a lot more for a lot longer than either of them would be willing to admit.
The feelings she has for both of them have gotten weirdly blurry.
She thinks Lottie understands her predicament more than she’s letting on.
Every time she worries about fucking this up, Laura Lee will shoot them both a carefree, genuine smile and she’ll find herself unable to remember why she was ever worried in the first place.
//
Van comes into town for a visit, and Laura Lee offers up her room for her to stay in, says she doesn’t mind taking the couch for the weekend.
They all know she won’t be sleeping on the couch, anyway. (Well, except Van, maybe…)
Nat and Van stay out late at the shitty campus bar that doesn’t card on the Saturday night, nursing Amaretto Sours and just kind of chatting shit. It’s good to have Van around — they may not text or talk very much, but they’re friends, anyway. Catching up feels nice.
The three of them took her around New York today, showed her all their favorite spots, and then Lottie and Laura Lee both decided to stay home when Nat suggested grabbing drinks.
“So how the hell did you end up dating Lottie Matthews and her ex?”
Nat stares at the redhead, her mouth falling open in shock. “What?”
“I mean, I have eyes, Nat. You’re not exactly subtle.”
She really thought they were. It was, like, damn near impossible to not kiss Laura Lee this morning when she reminded Nat to pick up her wallet that she left on the counter, but she did it, even if the girl was kind of pouting at her when she realized she wouldn’t get a kiss.
All that effort and Van still noticed anyway. Shit.
“Sorry man, I wanted to tell you but it’s kind of hard to explain,” Nat tells her.
She wouldn’t even know where to start with any of that.
“Whatever works for you, I guess. If you want them both and they want you, then that should be enough.”
Fuck, she’s never heard anyone put it like that. Maybe it really is that simple.
She raises her glass to her lips and fixes her with a look that probably isn’t nearly as threatening as she was intending for it to be, if the grin on Van’s lips is anything to go by.
“If you tell anyone, you’re dead to me, Palmer.”
“No one would believe me if I tried. Just don’t go all Being John Malkovich on me, okay?”
“I literally don’t know what that means, but I’ll try my best.”
Lottie and Laura Lee are passed out in bed together when they get home, and Nat smiles at the sight of them like that. It’s ridiculously cute, how the tallest out of all of them insists on being little spoon most of the time.
She’s too tipsy to care about waking anyone up when she cuddles up to Laura Lee and presses a kiss to her cheek.
“Nat?” Laura says quietly.
“Yeah,” Nat whispers, moving in closer and putting an arm around her waist. “Go back to sleep, baby.”
She feels the blonde let out a content little breath, and Lottie burrows closer to them both in her sleep, and Nat’s pretty sure this is the best her life’s ever gonna get, with the two of them in it.