Chapter Text
Sanji has always been quick to protect every woman he sees. It is not a bad thing—quite noble, actually. However, it’s also almost pathetic, especially when seeing him try so hard to lend a hand to those who don’t even need it and he gets rejected so harshly. It was a scene Zoro never misses witnessing. Not intentional, though. He just happens to be there every time Sanji gets rejected by a girl, both for his advances and his will to help. Even the greenhead feels sorry for him sometimes, but that just shows that not every damsel in distress is so pitiful that they need a man’s help. They can handle themselves just fine.
On this island they docked at, there were a lot of young ladies, seemingly cute at first glance, but beneath those bright smiles and jolly demeanors lies an aura of strength and bravery, which Zoro was able to sense right away. His keen observations have never once failed him, and he was sure about this one too. But in contrast to Zoro putting up his guard, the clueless cook was just delighted to be there, flailing his hands in the air and his eyes turning to his heart at the sight of the beautiful ladies before him.
“Sanji-kun, behave yourself.” Nami’s light hand immediately put a stop to Sanji’s concerning behavior. Whether she was a girl or just had the authority to round the Strawhats up, the smack Sanji received was enough to quiet him down. Well, with another delusion forming in his mind, of course.
“Understood, Nami-san. How disgusting of me to look at other women when I already have you and Robin-chan here,” he said, dramatically putting a hand on his chest, which earned a roll of the eyes from Nami and a silent chuckle from Robin, who was just minding her own business.
“Ugh, disturbing," Zoro commented, averting his gaze away from the sight of Sanji flirting with the girls in their crew. At this point, everything was just routine. That’s how frequently this kind of scene happens. It was just a good thing that the cook wasn’t paying attention. If he had heard what Zoro said, a fight would have ensued and delayed whatever their plans were on this island.
“Alright, let’s start navigating this place. As usual, Robin, Chopper, and Boss Jinbei will go with me. Usopp, Franky, and Brook. Luffy can go by himself—just make sure you’ll come back on time, understood?!” Nami had to emphasize, and their captain gave her an excited nod. Though everyone knows that he’d probably go off somewhere, the next thing they know is that he's already made an enemy of the island’s dictator or something. “Zoro, you go with Sanji.”
“What?! Nami-san, why do I have to be stuck babysitting this lost mosshead? Is this my punishment?” Sanji threw daggers of glare towards the greenhead, who just wanted to get out of there. Despite what Sanji says, everyone knows what Nami’s got going on in her bright mind.
Only Zoro can handle Sanji’s behavior.
Zoro is aware of this too, actually. But he just never complains because there’s no point. Someone’s really got to keep a close eye on their cook—even if he thinks he was the one doing the babysitting. The swordsman doesn’t really mind that. It’s better to work quietly, after all.
“Yeah, make sure he doesn’t get lost or something," Nami added, which hinted at sarcasm that Sanji didn’t get.
“Yes, Nami-san~!” Sanji beamed, his lips stretching from ear to ear, before he turned to give Zoro an uninterested look. “Stay close and don’t get distracted, you lost moss.”
Zoro rolled his eyes as he followed Sanji, glancing back at Nami, who was just waving at them. He couldn’t help but sigh at the troublesome task he was put to. He’s got no choice anyway, so he might as well observe the people.
Well, that’s what he intended to do, but ever since they started exploring the island to look for prospect stocks at the market, all he’s seen are the ladies Sanji kept talking to, hopping from woman to woman.
“Do you have plans to look for stores or not?” Zoro couldn’t help but raise a question, probably getting tired of roaming around aimlessly (seeing women) or he just wanted to go off somewhere and drink. Either way, they’re not getting anywhere so long as Sanji doesn’t focus on the task they have at hand.
“Will you shut your mouth? You’re scaring away the ladies!” Sanji exclaimed, throwing a glare in Zoro’s direction, to which the greenhead didn’t even bother listening. By the time Sanji was fully facing his crewmate, he was already missing. Where the heck could he have run off to?! “That fucking..." He couldn’t help but mutter under his breath.
However, the problem he had at hand (which was losing Zoro, whom he was “supposed” to babysit), was immediately forgotten as more ladies appeared in his sight. Another flailing of arms in the air as well as eyes turning to hearts began for the nth time. At this point, counting isn’t even applicable.
“My ladieeeees~!”
And with a blink of an eye, Sanji got lost in the crowd of women.
* * *
“Ladies this, ladies that,” Zoro grumbled. He was on his way to... Well, he doesn’t know either, but who cares? All he knows is that he’s surrounded by a bunch of old bags trying to sell him booze. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve given in already and used all of his pocket money on those, but at present, he was too occupied with the rants going on in his head. “If he’s all about ladies, why doesn’t he just try to become one himself? It’s almost as if he was one in his past life, and his soul is missing it. Not that I believe in past lives.” He continued to pass through the shops with a frown painted on his face.
“Mister! Pst, mister with the green hair,” Zoro heard someone call for him. Looking around, his eyes caught a glimpse of an old woman in a suspicious black robe at the end of the street. She was sitting on a small barrel, and in front of her was another barrel with a cloth covering it. It seemed like it was being used as a table or some sort of desk. Despite being wary of the old lady, Zoro still stopped in his tracks to entertain what she wanted to tell him.
“What?”
“I sense that you have very strong luck, mister.” The old woman continued, gesturing her hands to offer Zoro a seat, which the latter did not accept. He just stood there with one hand in his pocket and the other on top of his swords, almost as if he was trying to warn the old lady not to play any tricks with him. “You don’t have to worry, mister. I have no intentions of swindling you. I just found your aura very interesting,” she snickered as she revealed a big crystal ball hiding from her robe.
“I don’t believe in fortune-telling." Zoro was quick to dismiss the lady’s attempt, but she was persistent, even grabbing the swordsman’s forearm.
“Someone! Someone will be coming to you!” The fortune-teller raised her voice as Zoro pulled his arm back from the lady.
“Having someone after me is strong luck?” The greenhead sarcastically asked, which made the old woman shake her head. Really though. Just what is this woman trying to tell him? It’s not that hard to say it out loud; why bother dragging it along?
“Have a seat, please. I will tell you what fate awaits you.”
“I don’t believe in fate either.
“Just sit, you brat!”
Startled by the sudden yelling, Zoro had no choice but to oblige, taking a seat on the barrel he believed was allotted for the old woman’s customers. With arms crossed over his chest, he stared at the fortune-teller as she caressed her crystal ball, which’s probably just there to increase the mysterious aura of her stall.
“A young lady your age will come find you,” the fortune-teller started, looking so serious as she continued to look into her crystal. Seriously, a lady? All the greenhead has been hearing about the whole day is about women. Can’t he take a break from it? He has to hear it when he gets back to the ship too! Zoro wanted to comment, but he chose not to open his mouth. “You’re in great luck, mister. You’re gonna meet your match today.”
Upon hearing what the old lady said, the swordsman immediately stood up from his seat. “This is bullshit. I’m leaving." His eyebrows were almost meeting as he walked away.
“Hey, I’m not finished! Mister!”
Tsk! He wasted his time on nonsense. What the heck was that about meeting his match? And today too. That’s got to be the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard in his entire life. Zoro doesn’t have anything against women, though. He sees them as equals. But that old lady sounded as if she’s suggesting that the woman whom Zoro will fall in love with is going to meet him today.
Zoro falling in love? It’s like saying the water is finally mixing with oil.
“Isn’t that Zoro? Thank goodness! Hey, Zoro!” A familiar voice called his name, which made him avert his gaze to the direction it was coming from. It was Nami. She’s with Usopp. Their group probably split up to go on their own plans.
The greenhead waited for the two to walk over to him, and he was greeted by them with, “Where’s Sanji?”
“I don’t know. Probably trying to pick up girls or something,” Zoro answered with a bored look painted on his face as he looked away, seemingly annoyed.
“What?!” The two exclaimed.
“You were supposed to look after him!” Nami blurted out.
“He’s not a kid. He can handle himself.”
“But he’s your responsibility!” Usopp added.
“Since when?”
“Uh, well…” The sniper just scratched his head since he had nothing to say.
“You don’t have to worry about that guy. If he survived two years away from us, he can survive a few hours without us too,” Zoro couldn’t help but explain, leaving out some details as to why he left Sanji alone.
“Not on this island!” Nami pulled her own hair out of frustration, which made Zoro put up his guard. He knew something was up the moment they docked at the pier. What could Nami and Usopp have discovered? “I’m sure you already noticed, but this island doesn’t have any men around.”
The swordsman looked around, confirming what Nami had said. There was not a single man lurking around. From vendors to cab riders, everyone is a woman. But that still doesn’t explain why he should be looking after Sanji.
“I had a conversation earlier with the shopkeeper of the bookstore Chopper went into earlier. All the men disappeared. They disappeared because they had been turned into women. I don’t know the rest of the story, but apparently, all the men who showed any attraction to the women here are being turned. Zoro, Sanji is in danger.” Nami was seriously worried.
Tch. That cook is really a pain in the ass.
“I’ll go look for him. You and Usopp should look for the others as well. If you see Brook or Franky, don’t let them go alone. I’m sure Chopper is with Robin, so he’ll be safe. Jinbei won’t get himself into trouble, and Luffy doesn’t see women as women, so you don’t have to worry about him.” Zoro began to get serious. It was really handy to have him as an ally. His ability to assess the situation and make level-headed decisions really proves him worthy of being the vice captain and Luffy’s first mate.
“Okay. Let’s go, Usopp.” Nami nodded, dragging Usopp with her, and Zoro watched them disappear from his sight.
Deciding to go back to where he came from, Zoro ran in the opposite direction, hoping to get a glimpse of Sanji as he started surveying the area to look for their crewmate. He carefully eyed every blonde he saw, only to see a woman. There was no trace of their cook. Not even a single one.
“Fuck. Could he have been turned into a woman already?” Zoro muttered under his breath, clenching his hand around Wado Ichimonji’s handle. “He’s such a headache.” He continued to grumble as he reached the residential area of the island. There were houses, but only a good number of people were around.
Is Sanji even here?
Left without a choice, Zoro climbed the big wall surrounding the area. He thought the view from above would help him find Sanji faster, but he saw not even the tip of the cook’s hair. It shouldn’t be hard to find him in that suit of his, as he was the only one wearing it. Just where the heck could he have gone?
“Help… h-help me…” The swordsman heard a faint cry of a young woman from behind the walls, to which he immediately went to check. When Zoro jumped down the wall, he spotted a woman, probably in her late teens or early 20s, leaning against a tree. She was a mess. Her clothes didn’t fit her, and it seemed like they were worn in a hurry as they were mismatched. Even Zoro, who didn’t give a shit about what he wore, could see that.
"Oi." Zoro immediately checked on the woman, repeatedly patting her cheek to keep her conscious. “Oi, what happened to you?” She wasn’t responding. It seemed like she used all her strength to call for help, which was a lucky one since Zoro was there. What’s important is that she’s at least conscious. Zoro decided to take her with him, carrying her on his back. He decided to drop her off at a clinic or something before he went to look for Sanj again.
“Hey, do you know where the hospital or clinic is?” There was no response.
Well, god damn it. Who said anything about him being lucky?
“Oi, I can’t afford to look after you too. I have another headache at hand.” Zoro tried getting a reply, but she was already knocked out with her face resting on the swordsman’s shoulder. “Tch.”
While on his way back to the shopping district of the island, Zoro remembered what the old woman from earlier told him.
“A young lady your age will come find you. You’re in great luck, mister. You’re gonna meet your match today.”
Zoro shook his head. Bullshit. There’s no way that was true. Despite that, he couldn’t help but glance at the woman’s face, which was covered with strands of her hair. “Hell no.”
* * *
“Will you stop squirming?! You’re gonna fall!”
“Let go of me! Where are you planning to bring me?!”
“Stop- stop biting my ear!”
“Put me down!”
The swordsman was getting annoyed with all the screaming, thus putting the woman (who was finally awake) down on the ground. The latter immediately grabbed a thin branch off the old tree that was nearest to her. They had wandered into the woods as Zoro was trying to head back to their ship.
“Who are you? Why did you bring me here?” There was a visible trembling in her voice as well as in her hands. As much as Zoro was not happy with the situation, he understood what he had to do.
“Look, I don’t intend to hurt you-”
“Liar! You have three swords! And you brought me here. Are you planning to kill me?!”
“Will you let me finish talking?” Zoro sighed as the woman pursed her lips. “I’m Zoro. I was looking for my friend when I found you outside the walls. You were asking for help, so I tried helping you. I just didn’t know where the hospital was, so I couldn’t drop you off. But the road was confusing; that’s why we’re here,” he explained.
“So you’re not planning to kill me?”
“If I wanted to, you would’ve died the second you asked for help.”
The woman frowned, as if she was weighing things in her mind. Her hair was covering 50% of her face, so Zoro couldn’t see what she looked like.
“If you’re okay now, I’m leaving. You live here, so I’m sure you can figure things out yourself." The greenhead attempted to leave, but the woman grabbed his arm to stop him.
“No, please. I- I… I don’t remember a thing,” she confessed, which made Zoro frown. “My memory... all I remember is that I was given a cake, then everything became blurry. I remember feeling so much pain before I lost consciousness. When I came, I was naked. I grabbed the first set of clothes I saw before running away, and when I reached a tree, asking for help, I passed out again. That’s all I can remember. I don’t remember a thing before that.”
“Uh… I don’t know how to cure amnesia.”
“I never said anything about you curing me, dumbass,” the woman said, rolling her eyes, and not even two seconds later, she covered her own mouth in shock. Zoro was surprised too. “Oh, my God. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know why I said that. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”
The swordsman was puzzled even more. What the heck?
“I think I now know why someone gave you a cake like that.” Zoro shrugged, and the woman just lowered her head in embarrassment. "So... you need my help. What is your name?”
“I… I don’t know either.”
“Blonde then.”
“You call people based on their hair color? What are you, then? A mosshead?”
Zoro frowned at her, and when she realized what she just said, she immediately bowed to apologize, saying she didn’t mean it for the second time. What a strange woman. Does she have multiple personalities or something?
“Whatever. Fix yourself first, then we can go on ahead.” Blonde immediately nodded and put her hair up, finally exposing her face, which made Zoro’s eyes widen.
“We’re fucked.” He stood there in shock, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as he stared at Blonde’s eyebrows.
They’re freaking swirly.