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Tails couldn’t remember when was the last time he hugged his brother.
Perhaps it was a bit before the Metal Virus. Before Sonic became practically its first victim and was forced to distance himself from others. But once that problem was resolved, Tails could’ve sworn he hugged him. Some ghost of a memory should have happened, where he threw himself into his brother’s arms and felt comfort, surrounded by quills and soft peach pelt.
Which was why Tails never actually went out of his way to hug Sonic. After the Metal Virus, things kicked up, and in between Surge and then the Starfall Islands, and then leaving to try his hand at soloing, like Sonic had been doing prior to meeting him, he hadn’t really had much contact with his brother.
And it was only because of a storm that he found himself here. Back at Mystic Ruins. He’d been on his way somewhere when he’d caught wind of a storm brewing in his flight path, so he’d decided to take a detour back to familiar territory. He’d done his best to avoid places like this for a while, because he wanted to avoid running into Sonic. Wanted to avoid Sonic until he was sure he’d changed, until he truly could say he was unrecognizable to his brother’s eyes. But it was the weekend, and nowhere near any kind of holiday, so Tails was confident Sonic would be nowhere near. Off on one of his day-long runs, undoubtedly.
The wind was roaring when Tails pulled the shutters on the garage closed, the electric tang of a thunderstorm far on the horizon. The idea of lightning didn’t make him all that keen to stick around, and he silently prayed to whatever god was willing to listen and didn’t hold a grudge on getting their butt handed to them by his older brother to stall the storm long enough that he could leave without ever having to hear a single clap of thunder.
The house was quiet when he climbed out of the garage passageway into the living room. There was a stillness in the air that made him pause, unsure of what was so unfamiliar about the darkened living room when it dawned on him that the sheer emptiness of the house was what was getting to him. Usually the living room was bright and full of life, radio blasting away some nonsense song as Sonic greeted him from the couch, or as Sonic practically danced in, perhaps after cleaning the kitchen, to check if he’d finally come out from being cooped up in his lab.
A pang of loneliness suddenly struck him, and his eyes briefly glazed over the picture hanging over the couch. He missed Sonic. He really did. He’d met Sonic so long ago, it was almost impossible to remember a time before that. He’d been so young. And now he’d gone and distanced himself from his brother, to show him he’d grown, and for some reason Sonic not being here , even though he’d known he wasn’t hit harder than it should have.
“Not now.” He chastised himself, breathed out through his nose and turned to eye the kitchen. “Maybe there’s some mint candies still left over.”
Tails woke up to a boom.
He almost leaped out of his skin, hands flying to clutch the thin, red-spotted blue blanket he had fetched from the storage closet. As it was, he found himself sitting up in alarm, almost tumbling out of the old race car bed that he’d once upon a time shared with Sonic, until they both grew too big to keep sleeping together. For a second, he wasn’t sure what had made such a loud sound, but then a flash of light filtered through the starry curtains of the bedroom, and he had only a split second to brace himself before the thunder followed.
“Good Chaos!” He yelped, scrambling from the bed and away from the window, only working the courage to double check that the window was even closed after a second of standing tense in the doorway, fur puffed up.
When he did finally check, he found the glass pane practically drowned in water, suddenly the drum like noise of the rain against the house finally registering in his ears.
He paled.
“Did I oversleep?” He managed, eventually, after drawing the curtains firmly shut and turning to head downstairs. Once out in the hallway, it proved to be pitch black, and no amount of flicking the light switch fixed that. “Why haven’t the backups kicked in?”
Gingerly, he placed his hands on the wall, squinting down at the darkness that shrouded the steps with a shudder. Another clap of thunder resounded throughout the house, almost startling him into stumbling and falling down the steps, but the following lightning lit the way for a split second. Really all he needed.
He wasn’t sure why he was going downstairs. It was so stupid. A habit, really. Once they couldn’t share a bed anymore, Sonic had taken to sleeping outside, on the little swinging bench of the garden, or maybe on the actual branch. But the rain would always shoo him inside, onto the couch, and in turn it always shooed Tails downstairs, where he knew his brother would be, awake and patient, ready to comfort him.
Sonic wasn’t there.
That reality hit harder than a bullet, so much so that Tails stood on the brink of the kitchen and living room for a long time, staring at the empty couch, blinking as if suddenly Sonic would appear there, smile soft beneath the gentle glow of his green eyes, patting the spot beside him, which would be ready with a blanket and a pillow for Tails, to shield him from the storm.
Tears threatened to build up in his eyes, and a single one slipped down his muzzle, but he quickly wiped at it. His breath hadn’t hitched, and the sudden presence of the tears was one that he quickly dismissed, merely blinking them away before he turned to head into the kitchen. For some kind of stress snack, perhaps, before he ducked down into the basement, where the storm would no doubt be dampened and thus easier to ignore.
Rummaging through the drawers revealed that they were stocked full of mostly cheap, high-calorie bars and jellies that he had seen in sports stores before, and the fridge was all but empty save for a few pre-made chili dogs in the freezer. There was, however, that pan of what looked to be like a batch of fresh mint cookies, from which he had taken one before, and he nabbed another now, quickly shuffling his way around the kitchen and into the living room, ducking under the stairs to lower himself down the ladder into the basement. He paused. His ear twitched.
A creak of hinges, and then suddenly the roar of the storm rained hell behind him.
He whirled around, eyes wide, fur puffed up and tails whipping around in alarm, flick of a wrist deploying the arm cannon he had taken to carrying around, blast charging loudly in warning.
And then baby blue eyes met glowing emeralds, and he froze.
“Sonic?”
There was a pause. The figure, silhouetted in black by the storm, stared back at him, a shape tauntingly familiar. He was much too still, much too quiet, before he eventually stepped forwards a bit, sliding the door he had opened behind himself, pushing it closed gently, muffling the storm and keeping it from further raining down on their doormat.
The Blue Blur smiled. “Heya Tails!”
Tails smiled. It was strained as another clap of thunder shook the house, but he lowered his arm cannon, dismissing it as he dug himself out from under the stairs, stepping out into the living room as he stared at Sonic, still standing from across the room.
The hedgehog was soaked . Caught in the storm no doubt, which was surprising because Tails was sure Sonic wouldn’t have dared come back when he could have stayed anywhere with better weather. His quills sogged behind him, no doubt weighed down by sheer saturation, but the hedgehog didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He just beamed at Tails like a loon, which was just about right. That seemed to be his default expression when greeting someone.
“What are you doing here? Tails ventured, even when Sonic disappeared in a flash and then reappeared with a towel in his hand, rubbing it through his quills as he went to settle down on the couch, mostly dried already.
Tails moved to join him.
“Eh, left for a sec.” Sonic explained, nonchalantly, his ears only slightly twitching at the storm still raging outside. “Wouldn’t have if I had known you’d be dropping by! There’s nothing in the fridge!” Then he paused, before a chuckle escaped him. “Might be a good thing. Power’s out.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Tails chuckled back, settling beside Sonic. The blue hedgehog made no move to take him in his arms, like they used to do, and Tails couldn’t exactly ignore the pit of disappointment that settled inside him at that. “And I uh, actually wasn’t planning to run into you. I just heard there was a storm on the forecast and figured I could bunk it out here. I thought you were out on one of your runs.”
“Was.” Was Sonic’s curt reply. The hedgehog chuckled, and Tails looked over, raising an eyebrow at how… empty? It sounded. The dark didn’t let him see much, but did Sonic look really exhausted? Like, bags under his eyes exhausted?
“Are you… okay?” Tails tried cautiously. It was so hard, trying to talk with Sonic about how he was feeling. Because ever since he had known him, Sonic had this practiced way of locking up that made him more akin to a vault than a person. He was secure as could be, deflection questions better than a shield, derailing conversations with one well placed chuckle.
This time, the chuckle was accompanied by a thoughtful hum and fingers drumming on the couch. “Yeah. Got caught in the storm, s’all. I thought that I would have been back before it rolled ‘round, but I got sidetracked helping some Chaos.”
But that wasn’t the answer. Tails knew that wasn’t the answer. He always knew, but before he could press for it further something always happened that required his immediate attention. But he still figured trying was worth his time.
“Are you-”
Thunder shook the house.
The yelp that escaped his throat was most undignified, and he threw himself into Sonic’s arms, the blue hedgehog just barely managing to get a grip on him before another clap deafened them, the roar of the storm rising as if personally offended.
“Hey!” Sonic chuckled, adjusted him so he was clinging to his side, and ran a hand slowly through his bangs. Tails couldn’t help but lean into the gesture, even as Sonic loosened his grip so he could pull away. Warm emeralds regarded him kindly. “Spooked you kiddo?”
“I hate thunder.” Was all that Tails could manage. He looked over at Sonic, and for a second, they were back in a forest, braving a thunderstorm upon his insistence. He physically shook the memory off his shoulders, managing to string a sad smile together. Not enough that he was pretending to be okay, but just a way to let Sonic know he was coping. The hedgehog was always insistent in him being open about his feelings.
Awfully hypocritical.
“Well, I’d offer to watch a movie, but…” Sonic trailed off, gestured at the TV, and stood up. There was trembling to him as he moved, however, that Tails didn’t miss, even in the dark. It wasn’t even all that subtle at all. Sonic’s hand landed on his opposite wrist, slowly sliding its way up to clutch at his arm.
Tails knew what that meant.
“What time is it?” Tails prompted before Sonic could continue. He climbed to his feet as subtly as he could, hesitating for a second before reaching out a hand towards Sonic, perhaps in an attempt to show some comfort.
“It’s… eh-” Sonic paused, squinted at the window as if that would provide him with an answer, before turning to Tails with that bright smile all over again. “Last time I checked it-”
In the flash of lightning Tails’ hand brushed Sonic’s arm. There was seldom a second before the thunder struck the house, but he flinched , moving so quickly that he almost stumbled over his own feet.
It wasn’t Tails.
When he’d stopped squeezing his eyes shut to ride out the clap, he opened them to find Sonic’s face a mask of horror, there one second and gone the next, but his composure had been scrambled. He’d hunched back, stumbled away, clutched the arm Tails had been about to touch closer to his body, turned away partially as if to hide himself in the dark.
And Tails knew the thunder wasn’t why.
“Sonic?” His voice trembled slightly as his brother scrambled to compose himself. Scrambling for Sonic was what a heartbeat was to anyone else, but it was regardless scrambling, a mad attempt at achieving his goal, which in this case, was barking out a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his head as if embarrassed.
“You scared me. Though you were still on the couch.” Sonic offered, chuckle escaping him again. “Thunder didn’t help either.”
“That’s not it and you know it.” Tails hissed.
He wasn’t sure what gave him the courage to do that. In the end, he always tried his darnest to listen to Sonic when he could, because Sonic was his older brother, and although he most definitely didn’t have all the answers, he was trying his best and Tails could help out by following along in the few, scarce moments Sonic asked it off him.
This, for some reason, wasn’t one of them.
He stomped forwards before Sonic could have a say, reached for the blue hedgehog’s hand, and slipped his fingers in between his brother’s, intertwining their hands and pulling the hedgehog towards himself with a gentle tug all in one smooth motion, that was supposed to feed into a hug, so he could actually try and approach the matter, perhaps in an environment where they’d both feel safer, when Sonic just collapsed .
Tremble grew to earthquake and all at once, before Tails could even get a chance to wrap his arms around his brother, Sonic crumbled to his knees, a choked, strangled sound escaping him, as he ducked his head, startling Tails so much he actually let go and stumbled away.
Blood turned to ice.
“Sonic?”
The hedgehog chuckled bitterly. “Sorry!” His voice shook too much for the cheerfulness he tried to force. A sound akin to a sob flooded the room. He clutched his head in his hands. “Chaos, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”
Tails felt himself pale. Slowly, he lowered himself so he was sitting beside Sonic, trying to peer down and catch a glimpse of the other’s face, but Sonic was rolled up so tight he might as well have been about to start a spindash.
“Again.” He managed, somehow forcing his tone to sound stern. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” Was the abrupt reply. Sonic shook his head, uncurled a bit, looked up with a smile that for a second felt right , just small enough it was normal, not all that cheery, but all at once it deteriorated into a watery grimace, something moist blooming in his eyes. The hedgehog whined, a miserable sound that was immediately muffled as he covered his face in his hands. “Sorry. So sorry. I- I just- I don’t know what’s wrong with me and-”
Given how he’d reacted before to Tails trying to reach for him, perhaps he was a bit too abrupt, but some part of him just couldn’t handle the way his big bro was right now. Tethering on the edge of breaking down, a nudge in every which way from unwinding into a mess on the floor.
Some part of him just wanted to return all those times Sonic had held him when he’d been like that, too.
The embrace came natural, his arms around Sonic fast and easy, no fear of getting cut on those famous quills because he knew Sonic would never ever dream of it. The hedgehog tensed in a flash, so still for a moment Tails was sure he was embracing stone, but all at once the dam burst , a wail tearing itself from Sonic’s throat, only hidden by another clap of thunder, as the hedgehog practically melted into his grasp, reaching for Tails and clinging to him so desperately that Tails was actually startled.
The rain roared in their ears as they sat there, Tails' eyes wide and fixed on nothing for a second before they eventually drifted down onto his older brother, hero who in a flash wasn’t a hero but also someone who could be scared . It took a second to process that, but then he finally relaxed, adjusting his hold on Sonic so the blue hedgehog wasn’t hanging on so desperately, burying his head in the crook of Sonic’s neck, eyes closed as he breathed in that familiar scent of all things nature. Right then, Sonic had that familiar tang of wet dirt after a long rain.
It felt almost like an hour later that Sonic spoke, and by then the hero had long ago quieted, and it had been only the sounds of the rain carrying them.
“I’m sorry.”
Tails opened his eyes, but made no move to pull away, because Sonic’s grip on him was still as desperate as it had started, and any little movement he made seemed to make the hedgehog all that more afraid that he’d leave. His voice was but a whisper. “For what?”
“This.” Was the ashamed response the hero offered. “It’s just been so long since I last saw you and I was really worrying but I couldn’t find you anywhere and you said you didn’t want any calls and I really wasn’t expecting to find anyone here today so I already wasn’t doing all that good but you turned up and I was so afraid you’d just up and leave again and-”
“Shh.” Was all that Tails offered. Stopped Sonic before the hedgehog got a chance to spiral down that rabbit hole, and offered a comforting squeeze. Sonic squeezed back almost immediately, a small, dry sob leaving him, and Tails couldn’t help the bittersweet smile.
“When was the last time you hugged someone?”
“‘Fore zombots.” Was the mumbled reply Sonic offered, ducking his head down and resting it on Tails’ shoulder. “Was scared to death of touchin’ nyone for while. Y’all knew that, tho.”
“Yeah.” Tails managed. Suddenly a pit of guilt sprung up in his throat, burning pain that made him swallow reflexively. “Yeah, we knew.”
And they had known. They had seen Sonic physically struggle to get near them again after the Metal Virus. But everyone had been trying to heal back then, most of them were trying to heal, and keeping track of how everyone else was doing had proven to be far too mentally taxing far too quickly. He supposed once the Virus became a topic of the past, everyone just assumed they’d all moved on.
That everyone was better.
“S’not your fault, tho.” Sonic quickly amended, his voice just slightly louder, tone just a bit more sure of himself. “Y’all had lotta stuff in your hands. S’cause I couldn’t work up the courage. M’sorry.”
Tails pursed his lips, before he shook his head, and he leaned back, if only a little. Sonic resisted for a second, before eventually he relented, straightening up, head bowed slightly as he went to let his arms drop, releasing Tails from the hug.
Tails was quick to grab them.
“Sonic.”
No response.
“Sonic, look at me.”
Green eyes peered up at Tails, looking almost heavy to move, but he was quick to offer his best reassuring smile. Thunder shook the house again, but suddenly, Tails could care less for such a simple, trivial phenomenon of nature. Not when something worth far more of his attention than that was right here.
“It’s not your fault either.” Was what he whispered, words barely heard through the storm. He pulled the hedgehog closer again, a swift movement that startled the other as he dragged them into another embrace. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. But please…”
A pause, in which Tails looked at Sonic from the corner of his eye, the hedgehog wrapped around him in a hug that he realized they hadn’t shared, the ghost of a memory disintegrating from the past and manifesting in the present all at once.
“I know I’m going far now, and maybe it seems like I’m not ever around. But if you need something, ever…’
He was content.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for a hug.”