Chapter Text
Book One
Dawn was breaking. The final battle was over. The companions all stood on the docks, with the new dawn creeping over the horizon. They survived – and they had won. The parasitic tadpoles withered and died. They were free from the threat of mind flayers. Free from any horrid mind-control that could have befallen them, from turning into monstrous ilithids. Free.
Words of praise were spoken, lauding Tav for leading them to victory. The high elf woman stood, her blue-black tendrils of hair flowing in the morning sea breeze. With tenacity, magic, and kindness in her heart, Tavriel had brought them all together and helped them—loved them. Celebrations were discussed, and Tav fervently agreed. Perhaps the Elfsong Tavern still stood, despite the destruction.
"I really don’t care what we do so long as– ow–" Astarion's usual irreverent air turned to panic as he felt his hands begin to smoke and sizzle. The dawning of the sun had begun to burn him once more.
"Oh! Oh gods…Oh no!" cried Astarion, his voice cracking. He looked around at his companions, but Tav was blurred by the tears welling up in his eyes. "Well, it was nice while it lasted! I-I’m sorry. I have to go!" Before another moment could pass, he ran, slipping and stumbling until he disappeared behind the tallest wall of crates he could find.
"Astarion!" Tav called after him, but he was already gone. Her heart broke as she watched him run for his life from something he had cherished and enjoyed for the past few months of their adventure. They hadn't known if they would even survive the battle, and now that they had, something as simple as the dawn could have ended her love's life—and her heart.
After the other companions had said their goodbyes, Tav lingered to bid them farewell, making sure they would be alright without her, as she always did. Then she left and followed Astarion's path.
She found him huddled in a shadowed corner of the dock, shielded by a tall stack of crates, his head buried in his drawn-up knees.
"Astarion?" Tav's voice was thick with worry. She dropped to his side and threw her arm around his shuddering shoulders, without even thinking if he would want it. He was weeping.
"You're safe," she whispered, tightening her hold around him. "Safe with me, Astarion."
Her words were meant to comfort him, but they only made him feel worse. He should never have had to depend on someone else for his safety, and the thought of it disgusted him. Even if it was Tav. Especially if it was Tav.
He sat there for a moment, frozen in time, feeling weak, afraid, pathetic. Then slowly, he raised his arms and wrapped them around her, his fingers gripping the fabric of her tunic as if it were a lifeline.
"I’ll never be safe in the daylight again," he whispered, as if saying it confirmed the ugly truth. How could she possibly still love someone like this? She deserved better. But his heart hoped, selfishly, that she never came to know this. Maybe she deserved better, but he didn’t want anyone else. Not for her. Not for him. For who could ever truly love a vampire spawn - a monster - but Tav?
Gale, the acclaimed Wizard of Waterdeep with a most insatiable curiosity, poke his head around the stack of crates. After mulling over whether to retrieve the Crown of Karsus from the Chionthar - and thankfully allowing himself to be convinced not to, by Tav - he must have acquired a new curiosity about their vampiric companion.
"Safe from the scorching rays of dawn, then?" he asked blithely. Astarion’s silver head was ducked down, buried into Tav’s shoulder. He didn’t bother to look, feeling squeamish at being caught in such a state. Tav shot Gale with a loaded glare, however.
"Not now, Gale," Tav warned.
"I meant no offense," Gale replied, though the corner of his mouth twitched, clearly aware that his timing was less than impeccable. "Sunlight is notoriously indifferent to personal struggles—be it for mages or vampire spawn."
Tav winced at the word. Spawn. Such an ugly word. Astarion was so much more than that, and before he was a vampire lord’s spawn he had been a person. He was still a person. And Gale was being thoughtlessly callous.
Astarion finally lifted his head, his face twisted in a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. The redness of his eyes betrayed the emotions he had just tried to hide.
“As fond as I am of unsolicited facts," said Astarion sarcastically, “I was already aware of that one, thank you.” He wasn’t about to give Gale an ounce of reason to have another go at him. “But if you're going to be here, could you be 'indifferent' in a manner that's actually useful? Perhaps conjure a portal to somewhere, oh I don’t know, a little less deadly for a vampire?”
Gale's eyes met Astarion's, a brief moment of understanding flashing between them. "Ah, touché. I do have a habit of waxing eloquent at the most inconvenient times." His hand began to move in the air, tracing a shimmering outline. "A portal it is. Any preferences? The Underdark? A cozy crypt in Waterdeep?"
Tavriel made no attempt to hide her eyes rolling. "Our room at the Elfsong, Gale. If you would be so kind?"
The wizard showed the slightest bit of deference to her by bowing his head. "The Elfsong it is… if it still stands after all that’s happened." His deft hands swirled in the air, reaching out to the Weave and plucking purple strands of energy in a complex pattern. Tav watched him with only the slightest bit of envy. Sorcerers were innate in their magic, and while she could cast a great many spells, wizards had an entire repository of the arcane at their disposal. Gale made it look effortless, and conjured a glowing circular rift in time and space. Safety for Astarion was just beyond the glowing boundary.
The room on the other side looked thankfully intact, and as Gale looked, he hummed his approval. "Excellent. Everything seems in order and no worse for wear. We’ll come find you both later." Astarion restrained a growl, glaring at Gale and not so much as giving him thanks for the request fulfilled. He quickly stepped through. Tav was right behind him.
Gale smiled and glanced at Tavriel as they passed through the portal. His expression was a mix of relief, envy, and respect. She gave him a small nod of gratitude before following Astarion into the portal. It shimmered once more and closed, leaving Gale alone in the shadow of the crates. With a sigh and a rueful shake of his head, Gale turned and went to rejoin the others.
Safe within their room at the Elfsong Tavern, Tav and Astarion felt the sense of familiarity wash over them in a comforting wave. Fatigue set in quickly, and with little energy left to even try to mask it, Astarion simply pulled the small elf-woman into an embrace that spoke of endless gratitude and longing. His head ducked down to her shoulder, letting out a tenuous breath.
"Thank you," he whispered.
The embrace was returned, but Tav quipped softly, "That’s funny."
"What is?"
She pulled away just enough to look at his face - his hauntingly beautiful, pale face - and half-grinned. "I didn’t have to pull it out of you this time," she remarked. A gentle ribbing brought on by the memory of how he’d sulked at being told to say thank you after their encounter - and defeat - of the orthon in Shar’s temple. He had made it sound forced then, like a child being told what to say when we kill their enemies for them. Thank you for helping me, it was very kind. Every word of it jilted and half-hearted. But this time?
This time he meant it.
Astarion's eyes met hers, and for a moment the weight of everything they'd been through seemed to lift. A small, genuine smile crept onto his face, one that he allowed only in the rarest of moments and for the rarest of people.
"What can I say, my love," he told her, masterfully combining humor and sincerity in his tone, "you bring out the best in me."
Tavriel enjoyed the company of friends in the tavern downstairs, drinking and celebrating with them all. Lae’zel had left them on the docks, proudly riding the fearsome dragon off to the Astral realms from whence she came. Wyll and Karlach, too, had gone - to Avernus, in an effort to save Karlach’s life before her infernal engine had consumed her. They belonged together, thought Tav, her heart glad for them that they had each other.
Then there were the druids, Halsin - the bear of an elf with the strongest arms and even more impressive stature - and Jaheira. The wild half-elven Harper, though reaching into her venerable years, still had the spirit of youth burning within her. And then there was Minsc, the gentle giant of a ranger, with more brawn than brains, but loveable in his haplessness. The ranger from Rasheman cradled his tiny furry companion, the curious little hamster he affectionately called ‘Boo’. A miniature giant space hamster? Tav laughed into her wine glass at the thought, watching them all with mirth - and relief. By some miracle, and through the strength of their companionship, they not only survived; they had won. The Heroes of Baldur’s Gate.
Tav was sure that it might go to Gale’s head, but then - he, too, had changed. Perhaps they all had become better people after all that had occurred, all they had endured. But someone was missing from their little party downstairs in the tavern. Her heart felt a small twinge for the one she had come to know as a tortured soul. The one who had held a knife to her throat when they first met, who was frustratingly irreverent, and yet seemed to care when it mattered; who had vexed her until she found herself in love with him.
She had left Astarion upstairs in their rented rooms, giving him the space he may have needed while the light of day flooded through windows. They had to be shuttered now, and the look Astarion had on his face was one tinged with longing. The memory of him basking in the sun during their adventures, marveling at the colors of the day that could not be enjoyed under the blue-white light of the moon… all of it was gone for him now. The protection from the sun, from all the other side-effects of being a vampire, was gone.
Leaving her companions to their laughter and conversations, Tav quietly disappeared from the gathering, heading upstairs. The door to their room opened, and she found Astarion sitting by the fire, alone with a glass of wine beside him. It was nearly sunset, but he hadn’t thought to come down to join them in their celebration. Perhaps not yet, she figured. But then, looking at him, maybe it hadn’t crossed his mind and there were other things to consider that were more important.
She touched his shoulder, and sat beside him on the lounge in front of the fire.
"Hello, darling," he said to Tav, his tone unusually subdued, "I was just thinking about freedom. How I’m… free of the parasite - free of Cazador. How I’ll never be in someone’s power again." There was conviction in his words, a self-assuredness that had developed over the several tenday they had spent on the road. Through cursed lands, many battles, and too many close calls to count, Astarion had changed. Not in personality, which Tav always found inexplicably endearing, but certainly in countenance. Then he huffed out a humorless laugh, "And all it cost was my life in the sun."
Astarion looked down, letting out a grim chuckle. His next words were dark, pensive, "Now I belong to the shadows." Tav watched him change his mood, like a skilled mummer changing masks during a play. That irreverence returned. "So. What happens next?"
Tav could see the hesitant smile on his face, bordering on a smirk, but beyond the mask she saw his wariness and doubt. He truly didn’t know the answer, and was asking her.
Without fully thinking it through, she replied in earnest, "I’ll help you walk in the sun again."
Astarion was stunned, the mask falling away in an instant. "You - do you think it’s possible?" There were thoughts swirling in his mind, Tav knew. Within the span of a hummingbird’s heartbeat, Astarion considered everything they had been through together up to that point. "I suppose there’s a chance," he said to himself, but brought his eyes back to meet hers, "And if there’s a chance, no matter how small, I’m going to take it."
Tavriel studied him silently with her iridescent eyes, silvery blue like moonlight. How he loved to look into those eyes, allowing himself a true smile at last. He couldn’t help himself when he continued, "And it would mean setting off on another adventure together." That little laugh of his made Tav smile gently - a breathy laugh laden with insecurity. It stirred her heart, before his next words nearly broke it, "Is that what you want? Is this what you want?"
How could he ask such a thing?, Tav thought to herself. But of course, there was doubt. Always, he doubted the friendship of others, the kindness of others. No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me, he had said to her, you’re the only one. The memory of those words still stung, and her hand found itself searching for his. Slender fingers grasped hers like a lifeline.
"I would understand if you wanted to go your own way," said Astarion, despite himself, despite his cool fingers feeling the warmth of her hand. The tone of his voice carried melancholy and, dare she say… hope?
"No, this is what I want," Tav told him, sliding closer to him, touching his face. Astarion practically melted into her hand with a deep sigh of relief.
"Good," he relented, content, "because, selfless as I am, I really did not want to let you go." With his assurance reclaimed, he continued emphatically, "We are rather excellent together, you know. And united, there is nothing we can’t do. I can’t say what the future holds for us, but I know we’ll be facing it together." He closed the distance between them, and took Tavriel in his arms, pushing back a strand of her blue-black hair from her face. "And we’re going to have a lot of fun."
The kiss he gave her was tender, his lips so soft against hers. Her hand reached up to his hair, cradling the back of his head and eliciting a contented sound from him. It was a long kiss, but she returned it with as much tenderness as she held in her heart for him - a boundless ocean in a sea of stars.
