Chapter Text
When Evan Buckley woke up this morning, it seemed like a regular day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the obnoxious sound of Los Angeles traffic filled the humid air, just like any regular morning.
Even when the engine pulled up to the scene of the major train crash that night, Buck was prepared for it to be a normal scene, albeit a hard one. He’d find survivors, tag them for triage and stick close to Eddie, because yes, he could admit that he was still a bit shaken from the well incident; a glaring reminder that his best friend could be taken from him at any point. He’s always known that Eddie Diaz is a beautiful man, but before, he could ignore his attraction, and just be his friend.
Ever since Eddie got buried under 30 feet of mud and had to swim his own way out though, he’s been struggling with it more. Not only that Eddie is quite possibly the most beautiful man on the face of the planet, but he’s also kind, and unfailingly caring. He’s funny and patient with Chris, and loyal. He shows up over and over and over again, and for Buck, who’s spent his life being the one who showed up while everyone else walked away? Eddie showing up unflinchingly, every single time, is doing some things to his heart that he’s not really ready to examine too closely yet.
Buck is in the middle of heading back to the crash after dropping a patient off with Hen and Chim when he hears a voice he never thought he’d hear again. “You’re with the 118?”
He whips around and there she is. Abby Clark, the woman who taught him how to love and then left him living like a ghost in an apartment that held less and less of her every day, until the sparse phone calls and emails dropped off entirely. He hasn’t thought of her in quite some time, and seeing her in the middle of this chaos, perfectly healthy just a few feet from his best friend, has an uncomfortable prickling feeling running across his body, like there’s ants under his skin, and he doesn’t understand why.
“Abby?”
She turns to him and sighs his name in an almost caressing way that used to make him feel special, but after everything that happened, now feels cheap. He tries to usher her to get looked at, worried about unseen injuries, but she fights him, throwing his hands away and screaming that she’s looking for someone.
“My fiancé!” She screeches, and it feels like everything around him stops. He can see Eddie out of the corner of his eye, his gaze glued to Buck’s face, no doubt reading every thought that crosses his mind. He just feels… frozen. He knows he should have some feelings about that, and he definitely does, but before he can even start to name any of them, she continues. “My fiancé and my daughter are both up there. He fell asleep, and I left Cienna with him while I got a drink and I need to get to them!” She stresses, pointing to the car they were in, and of course, it’s one they haven’t stabilized yet.
Eddie takes off to grab Cap, and Buck asks for a picture of her family. Abby didn’t have any kids when he’d known her, so he’s guessing it’s probably her fiancé’s daughter. The photo she shows is just of her and Sam, but he can very clearly see the man she’s settling down with. He takes in the smile on his face, the dark hair with gray speckled throughout, and tries to shove down whatever it is that he’s feeling at seeing the two of them beaming, arms wrapped around each other, Abby’s hand held aloft to show off the sparkling engagement ring.
He shoves it all down and looks back to her. “And his daughter?” He asks, but she just shakes her head and bites her lip, dropping her gaze in a way that looks almost… guilty?
“She’s the only kid on the train, you’ll know when you see her, just go.” She pleads, putting her hands on his back and pushing him towards the car. He frowns at her, wondering why she seemed hesitant to show him a picture of the girl. It’s not like he’s some stranger on the street asking for it, he’s a firefighter at an accident scene, and knowing what the girl looks like can only help him find her. Sam has dark hair and dark eyes, so his daughter probably does too. He has no idea how old she is, since Abby was weirdly stingy with the information, but he’ll keep an eye out regardless.
He makes his way up to the final train car carefully, just a few steps behind Bobby and Eddie. He tells them what Abby said, leaving out the fact that it’s Abby’s family they’re going up to save because he can’t risk Cap pulling him off. “The mother said we’d know when we found her, whatever that means.” Eddie looks back at him quickly in question, but he just shrugs, not having an answer.
Buck sees Sam almost as soon as they enter the car, his body thrown over the back of one seat, a giant metal pillar pinning him in place by his chest. Bobby heads to him, so Buck joins Eddie in searching for the daughter, and assessing the scene, looking for other survivors.
“Buck? Hey uh, I think I know what she meant when she said we’d know when we found Cienna.” Eddie says, and for the first time in a very, very long time, Buck has no idea what he’s thinking. His voice is strained, but he’s obviously trying very hard to keep it from showing. He’s standing next to Bobby but facing the opposite direction. When Bobby turns around to see what Eddie is looking at, his eyes nearly double in size, and Buck just knows that whatever they’re seeing is going to change everything.
“You’re… Buck?” He hears Sam wheeze, and Buck freezes, just for a second. He makes eye contact with the pinned man, and he looks… angry? And yeah, being pinned after a train crash in no fun but like, most people are scared, not angry.
“You’re a real… piece of shit.” He states brokenly, and Buck can tell the pillar is putting pressure on his lungs, maybe even broken a rib and pierced one, but all of that is noted at the back of his mind because what the actual fuck? Buck’s literally here to make sure this man is okay, the man that his first love replaced him with, and he wants to sit here and call him names? That seems extremely rude, for no reason. Abby left, she’s the one that ghosted him, not the other way around.
Buck ignores the grumblings of the injured man and steps up to see what Eddie is staring at, carefully picking his way around the debris and making sure he’s secured, just in case this car shifts and they have to ride it out.
When he gets close enough, he peers around the corner of the seat…
And promptly feels his stomach drop.
On the other side of the pillar from Sam, is the cutest toddler Buck thinks he’s ever seen. She can’t be more than 2 years old, her red hair a few shades lighter than Abby’s with curls that look a lot like-
No.
There’s no way that Abby would neglect to tell him that he had a daughter. As a first responder herself, she definitely wouldn’t send him into this situation without any kind of warning, because the consequences of that could be disastrous, and Abby wouldn’t do that to him...
Right?
She’s on the ground, caught between the floor and a seat that has somehow come unattached, and the same beam that is crushing Sam is pushing against the seat. Her tiny head and shoulders are the only things visible, and her head is bleeding steadily from a cut by her hairline. She’s unnaturally still for a toddler, her eyes closed and face slack, though there’s a little wrinkle in her forehead that Buck wants to reach out and smooth away.
He doesn’t. He’s terrified of what will happen if he touches her. He takes a step back and looks at Eddie, silently begging him to… he doesn’t even know what he’s begging for, but thankfully, Eddie knows him better than Buck knows himself, because he just nods and steps forward, his face a carefully blank mask as he takes off his glove and reaches out, hands steady to check for a pulse…
Buck watches as his shoulders relax and he sends Buck a small smile and a nod.
“Cienna… she’s… okay?” Sam asks, his breathing labored and obviously making it hard to speak.
Eddie looks back at him as he digs in his med kit and pulls everything out to keep an eye on the little girl. “Your daughter is alive, and we’re going to do everything we can to keep her that way.” He assures the man.
Sam snorts, though the sound is more of a wheeze than anything, drawing their attention back to him. “Not… my daughter… but Buck… knows all about that… don’t you?” He asks in broken sentences, somehow managing to sound disappointed even when injured.
Buck glances between them all, his gaze finally landing on the little girl Eddie is working on, his penlight flashing in her eyes, and drawing a small, annoyed groan from the child. Her eyes open briefly and land on him, and he feels his heart crawl into his throat at the beautiful ocean blue eyes that meet his, the exact shade as his own.
“Daddy.” She whines, her bottom lip sticking out as her face screws in pain, her eyes never leaving his face. He about falls to his knees, his white-knuckle grip on the seat beside him the only thing that saves him from careening to the floor.
His gaze shoots to Sam, and the man rolls his eyes again. “Abby... made sure… she knew you… even if… you couldn’t be bothered… to show up.” He says derisively, and Buck can’t take it anymore, dropping carefully to his knees beside Eddie, his gaze stuck to the little girl crying on the floor in pain, crying out for him. He rips his glove off and smoothes the hair off her face, unable to process anything that is happening.
“I have a daughter?”