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I Shall Do Neither
onwhatcaptain
Summary:
In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another.
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Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool.How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human.
How wanting had been better than having.
Chapter 1: Title Page
Notes:
This work contains thematic elements concerning mental health and suicide. Proceed with caution. These topics are not handled graphically but please heed the warnings and the tags.
Please also know that I aim to do right by these characters. If you love them very much, I ask that you trust me. To those of you who are reading, thank you for coming along on the journey. This is my first fic. All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
The cover is designed and drawn by myself.
Much love to my beta readers, gunstreet and bastet_in_april.
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NB: Any references to Discovery, SNW or TAS are minor contextual additions using canon details that make TOS a bit more rounded-out, but are not necessary at all. But they may enhance your reading of it if you’ve seen certain scenes or episodes. I only utilize Discovery or SNW where I believe it enhances and specifically supports the plot, intentions, and integrity of TOS and K/S. Anyone who either enjoys Discovery/SNW or does not enjoy them should still be able to enjoy this story and follow what is happening.
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