Chapter Text
It was over.
That was a thought that Choi Han could not quite accept yet. Not because he didn't want to accept it, but because it felt unbelievable. After so many years and so many challenges, it was just… done?
No. There had to be more around the corner. That's what kept his sword at his hip and his guard up, even during these moments of peace.
It was spring now, the first spring after everything. Choi Han could feel the breeze and the smell of flowers planted in the palace garden.
'It was my mother's favorite.' He vaguely recalls Alberu telling him. And something in his chest warmed at the memory. Choi Han could hear his voice now. No, their voices. Alberu and Cale-nim.
He knew distantly that they were right beside him, probably in a flattery competition with each other. But he could not hear them well over his own thoughts. He could only hear the warm, deeper mumbles of his highness. Then a response from the lighter, more flat voice of the retired commander.
His gaze had at some point drifted upwards, towards the castle walls that surrounded them on all sides. The familiar blues, golds, and whites that were so deeply associated with the crown became a blur before his eyes.
"Instructor-nim?"
Peace? Who was he in times of peace? He wondered what he could do for those important people who made up his family. He had protected them before… but what was left when protection wasn't needed. Who was left of him?
"Instructor-nim?"
He knew he wasn't going to be thrown away just because they weren't fighting. He was having tea with Alberu and Cale-nim right now. They trusted him just as much as he trusted them… yet he couldn't shake this worry, how could he be useful now? How could-
Something warm covered his hand. He looked down to see a white glove placed gently over his own clenched fist. When had he become so tense? His vision focused as he could finally make out the words.
"Instructor-nim?" The warm voice belonged to the person who now held his steadily relaxing fist.
"Your Highness?" Choi Han found himself responding as he looked up to meet blue eyes, surrounded by delicate blonde lashes.
He watched the way Alberu's brows gently furrowed and how his lips twitched into a frown. It wasn't a very strong expression. In fact it was pretty subtle. Yet the fact that the emperor would make such a face at all, when he had been forced to school his expression all his life, showed his genuine concern for him.
"Choi Han." Another voice came, equally as familiar. It was the more monotone voice of Cale-nim. His head turned to face the redhead who was sitting on his other side.
Unlike Alberu, who's expression was worried. Cale had no real expression on his face, but his brown eyes couldn't meet Choi Han's gaze. They flicked up and down, taking in all of Choi Han. It was the type of gaze he fixed the children with when he thought they were upset. Like he was trying to find the cause.
"I'm alright." Choi Han found himself answering their silent question.
He watched his commander's eyes narrow slightly, and he heard a sigh from his other side. It was a sigh usually reserved for someone else. Choi Han could practically hear his inner thoughts.
'You're driving me nuts.'
"I really am alright. I was just thinking things I shouldn't." He further answered, feeling their doubts. "I'm just not used to peace yet."
And he really did feel alright… it wasn't a lie or half truth.
He felt the gloved hand over his own give a little squeeze, and the brown eyes that had been examining him finally met his gaze.
The short silence that followed was as easy as breathing. Cale-nim gave a nod, his eyes speaking to a certain understanding. Choi Han knew that he would get it, someone like him who had suffered for so long as Kim Rok Soo, and as Cale Henituse.
He felt the glove slide off his relaxed fist. Despite the slight withdrawal, Choi Han could still feel the back of his hand pressed lightly against his skin. It felt like the warmth of the sun was left from where he had previously touched.
"We wanted to ask you about your ability-" Alberu finally asked the question that he had originally called out to his instructor for.
Choi Han listened to the question with much more clarity than before, his mind had calmed from its chaotic state.
"Hm? My Yong?" He clarified, watching Alberu nod.
"Our Sun of the Roan Kingdom wants to know if it has some sentience. Perhaps he wants to offer some of his famous cookies to it." He heard Cale-nim tease.
He watched Alberu glare slightly towards his former commander and huff. "It was simply a curiosity thing, and call me Hyung."
"Pfft-" Choi Han had never been asked such a question before. Usually they were more interested in what he could do, rather than if they could feed his Yong cookies.
He found himself calling on the dragon without much thought, it wrapped around him and rested on his shoulder. He was not sure how much individually the creature had… but well. He could not resist the visual of seeing it being fed cookies.
"Your Highness. Feel free to do whatever you want." He heard himself say, and he watched Alberu reach out to pet the ability.
Choi Han found his gaze drifting to Cale-nim, who was watching with the smallest upturn of his lips, and a softness to his gaze that Choi Han rarely saw. He wondered for a moment if Choi Jung Soo had ever done something similar.
Cale stood smoothly and made his way to Choi Han's side, swiping a cookie from the basket on the table and presenting it to the Yong. It took some mental prodding from Choi Han, but the Yong did bite down on the cookie. Huh.
He listened to the way these two chattered and pampered his ability, the sigh that left his lips was nothing but fond. At that moment, he thought that these would be people he would hold onto for the rest of their lives.
He thought of how Alberu had put a hand on top of his, and imagined their fingers curled together instead. Choi Han felt that he might like to do that someday.
He considered holding Cale-nim close, not because he was injured or fainted, but just because he felt like it.
And even if it made him a little flustered, he thought about pressing a kiss to both of their lips, and how they would breathe against him. How he would know they were alive with every breath.
If he were younger these thoughts would have frightened him. Because it was so much more devastating to lose a bond like this. But now… these thoughts felt like freedom.
As the freedom from war washed over him, so did the freedom to feel this way. These were the first months of the rest of his life. And even if he lived longer than others, even if he would live longer than Cale-nim and Alberu, he would never be alone again.
Love for him was peace.