Chapter Text
u/solidarityfromkerioth
Am I the Asshole for calling out my friend’s inconsistency on bourgeois colonial decadence?
I (32M) maybe got a little carried away in an argument with my best friend (33M). He’s kind of the ‘face’ of our underground community-aid movement.
Let me be clear: he’s a great guy. I once saw him inspire a kid to donate his own lunch and then use that example, some anonymized communal food-sharing, and his passive-aggressive gently persuasive style to get 5,000 people fed for the day.
We’ve been friends for a couple of years now, both working-class guys (though he’s admittedly a bit more educated than I am, even though he was mostly homeschooled/self-taught), both with a dry sense of humor.
His advocacy of passive-aggressive nonviolent malicious compliance is a work of genius.
Unfortunately, no movement is immune to cult-of-personality tendencies, apparently. Things have started to get a bit out of hand. That’s not his fault, but he’s getting less on top of things in terms of reining people in, and I think the hype is starting to get to him.
One of our fundraising talking-points is the importance of helping the poor -- including how it’s much more important than all the self-indulgence we see around us. There’s so much waste in our communities, generally extractive, both outsiders and local collaborators/profiteers taking advantage of desperate people, failing in self-discipline.
My friend’s had some really poetic-without-being-sugarcoated things to say about that over the past couple of years.
And then I turn around and, right in front of people, he’s getting a massage from a sex worker.
I understand that some women do what it takes to survive, but that doesn’t mean an activist should be taking ‘free samples.’
I may have shoved her. I shouldn’t have shoved her. I’ll admit that. But it’s a notable symptom of a really frustrating situation.
Edited to Add: Why is this post blowing up? I don’t need this kind of karma or spotlight. I like being a small account.
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u/heroesdaddyissues
Where exactly did your friend find this enthusiastic sex worker? I need to know so that I don’t accidentally find myself wandering amid all that decadence.
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u/dockworkerswho
Yes. Yes, you are.
Right now, your ‘friend’ is suffering under an enormous weight. You say yourself it’s all escalating. That has to be immensely stressful
So a woman consensually touches him, and you resorted to using force? That’s not frustration, that’s either jealousy, misogyny, or both.
Either way, you’re the asshole.
u/solidarityfromkerioth
I understand you’re upset, but there’s no reason to get ridiculous. Jealousy? No one is in a relationship here.
Let me emphasize: no one is.
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u/rocklockandbarrell
Was she underage? Was she drunk? Was she crying? Was he coercing in any way? Was he dehumanizing? Or was he just trying to relax with a consenting adult?
Sounds like maybe he understands what is or isn’t bougeois colonial decadence better than you do.
u/solidarityfromkerioth
You literally can’t even spell it.
u/rocklockandbarrell
Decedence?
u/solidarityfromkerioth
Oh, for …. That’s when somebody has died! Although at the rate this is going…
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u/sznotrock
‘Less on top of things in terms of reining people in?’ People are already /too reined/, man! You’re giving him a complex!
u/solidarityfromkerioth
You are destroying the movement.
u/sznotrock
/I/ am? The only reason you care about the fundraising is because you’re using the community aid fund as your personal rainy day fund!
u/solidarityfromkerioth
That. Is. Bullshit. I am trying to keep us afloat /and/ with all our limbs intact. The current procuratorship was pretty clear from the get-go about what they consider ‘just cause.’
u/sznotrock
So we should just lie down for them and die?
u/solidarityfromkerioth
No, we should just lie down and NOT die.
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u/collaborateandlisten
NTA. It’s always reasonable to call out inconsistencies, disruptions, etc.
So what’s a nice boy from Kerioth doing hanging out with Galileean trash?
u/solidarityfromkerioth
Never said he was from Galilee. Never said anybody was from anywhere.
u/collaborateandlisten
Except in your username
u/solidarityfromkerioth
Never said which Kerioth. Could be Judaean. Could be Moabite.
u/collaborateandlisten
Not a lot of Moabites hanging around your IP address.
We should talk. Maybe meet up. DM me.
u/solidarityfromkerioth
I’m not going anywhere with you of my own accord.