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Thor waited maybe an hour after he heard the last set of footsteps pad past his door before he dared make a move. He wasn’t exactly barred from leaving the palace at night, but the last time he’d done it his parents got pretty upset.
As quietly as he could, he pulled on some appropriate clothes and shoved his feet into his boots. He clumped up a few pillows under his blanket so at first glance one could believe there was someone sleeping there.
The door opened without protest. He’d learned to keep the hinges well-oiled after they alerted his parents to him sneaking out last time.
Careful to avoid creaky floorboards, Thor made his way slowly out of the hall and to the stairs. He cringed and froze at every rustle of a curtain or groan of wind pushing against the windows from outside.
He would go down the kitchens and take the side door Loki had shown him years ago, back when they were inseparable. They still spoke now, but it was stilted, like speaking a foreign language.
Even as Thor made his way through the empty palace, he felt like he was abusing Loki’s knowledge of secrets for his own gain somehow. It was absurd, of course. It wasn’t like it was Loki’s hidden door. It had been built into the side of the palace by their ancestors, and Loki had simply discovered it.
Luckily, Thor ran into absolute nobody. It was eerie, in fact, how empty the corridors were. It wasn’t out of place—Thor knew the servants went either to their quarters on the lower levels or to their homes in the capital—but it was still strangely quiet.
As he approached the kitchens, he slowed his pace. He could make out the sounds of arguing. From the echoing through the stone corridor, he couldn’t tell how far down the hall the two people were.
Tentatively, he inched forward until he could hear more clearly, “…as if it makes any difference.”
Thor froze where he stood. It was Loki’s voice. What was he doing up?
Then Father’s voice cut through, loud and clear, even from a distance, “Of course it makes a difference.” He sounded tired. “You were both of you born to be king.”
“But you treat him as if he is the sole heir,” Loki yelled. Thor so rarely heard him lose his temper, he couldn’t resist the urge to creep forward a few steps. “Why?”
“What would you have me say?”
“I want to know why you speak to me with such disdain, like your mind is made up already!”
“Your mother teaches you magic and secrets,” Father said lowly, “this is not the language of kings. It’s the language of spies and traitors.”
Thor could almost feel his heart break for his brother. A traitor?
There was silence for a moment before Loki said, so quietly he had to take another step to hear, “I’m not a traitor, Father.”
Father’s voice was softer, quieter, “I wasn’t suggesting—”
“You weren’t?” Loki said. His voice sounded fragile, like it could be broken with the slightest suggestion. “You think I don’t notice the way you treat me and Thor differently? You think I don’t hear the way you talk about him to your dignitaries?”
There was a hesitation, so slight Thor wouldn’t have noticed it if he didn’t know his father so well. “You shouldn’t be listening to the conversations I have with my advisors and nobles.”
“And you shouldn’t be talking like that,” Loki said. “Not to my face and not behind my back. You would never liken Thor to a traitor.”
“Loki, you’re speaking without thinking,” Father said cautiously.
Loki snapped, “I’ve done nothing but think for twenty years. About being king, about my brother, about how you’d rather spend your days teaching Thor to play with swords than teaching me strategy. About how you say I speak the language of spies.”
Father’s voice was almost maddeningly calm, even Thor could feel himself getting upset, “You obsession with your brother—”
“My obsession?” Loki cried. “You think I’m obsessed? The only thing I’ve done is notice how you treat us.”
Thor winced, hand shooting out to brace himself against the wall. He’d never noticed what Loki was talking about. Maybe he had been willfully blind, but he could never imagine that it had hurt Loki so much.
After a moment, Loki said in a shaking voice, “I don’t care if you don’t see me as inferior to my brother, just don’t lie to me about it.”
There was a commotion and Thor heard a door slam. He scrambled to dodge into a corner to get out of sight, but neither of them came out into the hallway. They must have used a different exit.
Just as Thor turned around to go back to his room—there was no way he could get out now with someone standing there—his father’s voice rang out, “I know you’re there, Thor.”
Thor cursed inwardly, quickly debating if he could make it back to his room quickly enough to avoid talking to his father. Instead, he inched forward a bit and cleared his throat, “Yes, Father?”
“Come in here, would you?” He said. It wasn’t a request. Thor walked the rest of the way and found his father leaning against a counter in the kitchen. His head was hung, his hands folded in front of him. “How much of our conversation did you overhear?”
Thor shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, “Just the last bit.” He quietly prayed Father wouldn’t ask him why he was there to overhear in the first place.
It was quiet for nearly five minutes, and Thor didn’t dare move, either further into the kitchens or back to the hallway. His heart was in his mouth, and he expected at any moment to be reprimanded for eavesdropping. When Father didn’t move, Thor said, “Why did you just let him storm out?” It was the only thing he could muster.
Father tilted his head, gesturing for Thor to stand by him. “What do you think would happen, if your brother became king?”
Thor obliged, going over to stand by the counter. It was an odd question, but a somewhat easy one. Carefully, debating each word, he said, “I don’t think Loki has the same capacity for a firm hand that you do, Father. I think he would make a fine king, but…”
“But not a great one?” Father said, looking up. There was a strange smile on his face, and Thor had to fight to keep his gaze. Thor had never seen this side of him.
“That’s not what I said.”
“But that’s what you implied,” Father said, waving his hand. “In your opinion, with your knowledge of our history, when do you think was the last great king?”
Thor swallowed, racking his brain for anything he could remember from his lessons. “Maybe…Buri? He expanded the border and beat back our enemies.”
“Yes,” Father nodded slowly. “I would agree of course. In nearly a hundred years, there has not been a great king.”
“I didn’t mean that you—” Thor started but was interrupted.
“Please,” Odin held up his hand to stop Thor. “I have spent my reign doing just what my father and his father before him did. I have continued to lay the foundations for this nation to return to its greater glory. Back when we had control of the seas and trade and our poorest citizen was rich by the standards of any other nation. I have spent my life building the foundations for a great king…and I believe you are growing into that sort of man.”
Thor looked up. He’d never heard such…such outright pride in his father’s voice. “W-what are you saying?”
“If you continue on the path you are on now,” Father said, “I know your name will be one uttered in legends for generations to come. Someone to be remembered.”
Thor shifted. He couldn’t even imagine that. This all felt like a dream, it didn’t feel like a real conversation. He spoke aloud the first thought that came to his head, “And what of Loki?”
“What of him?” Father asked, like he was genuinely curious.
Thor swallowed hard, he’d never heard someone speak so dismissively of Loki. Sure, his friends spoke like that sometimes, but it was always with an air of royalty about it. Loki was a prince, after all. Thor had never heard someone speak about his brother like he was nothing.
When Thor didn’t respond, Father continued slowly, “If you become a king unparalleled, as I know you have the potential of being, Loki will be remembered as nothing more than your brother. It is a brutal truth, but such is the way of history. Only the great and the terrible are remembered, there is no room for mediocrity in legends.” Quickly, as if sensing Thor’s discomfort, he added, “I’m not saying Loki is mediocre. Frigga says he may come to be a better magician than herself. But he would make a mediocre king.”
Father, I—”
“You have been treated as equals your whole life,” Father said, pushing himself gently away from the counter. “And you are equals, in some respects. But it is time for you to acknowledge that only one of you will be king. You excel in some ways he simply cannot grasp. The same goes both ways, but…”
“What are you saying?” Thor asked quietly. He thought he had a general idea, but he didn’t dare believe it.
Father straightened, putting a firm hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Thor Odinson, my first born, I hereby name you the rightful heir to the throne.”
Thor protested, “Father, this is so rushed.” He didn’t know why he said it—he knew some part of him had always wanted this to happen. But it was so sudden, and it all felt so…unfair. Even if it was bound to happen one way or the other, this felt so unfair. Just the conversation, the way it happened.
“Nonsense,” Father cried. “I’ve been pondering the matter ever since I had two sons. This is anything but forced.” He lowered his voice, leaning forward to look Thor in the eye. “If you achieve the potential I see in you, your name will be remembered far beyond mine.”
Thor squirmed under his father’s gaze. He had never had trouble conversing with his father, but this was different. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of a time when nothing but stories of his name would be remembered.
“But Loki…” Thor didn’t even know what he was going to say, he just felt like he should mention his brother. Loki couldn’t just be forgotten , brushed aside like this. Not after a childhood of being raised as pure equals.
Father shook his head slightly, “Loki will be seen in ancestral diagrams and long-winded stories, but nothing more than that. You will rise to greatness and your brother…he will become history’s afterthought.”
Thor opened his mouth to protest but no words came out. Of course Loki wouldn’t be forgotten by history , he wanted to say. Loki was more skilled in magic and coercion and strategy than anyone Thor had ever met except his parents . But his pride kept him quiet.
“Would you disagree?”
Thor wanted to say he did. He wanted to say he absolutely didn’t agree. At the same time, he also…he also figured he would be a better king than Loki. He didn’t mean to be rude, it was the simple truth of Thor’s opinion.
“Do. You. Agree?” Father insisted.
“I-I-” Thor couldn’t form a sentence. He didn’t know what to say. If he agreed, it would be like betraying Loki even if he wasn’t here. If he said no…could it cost him the crown? He loved Loki, he didn’t want to speak bad about him even if they were closer to strangers now than they had ever been. At the same time…
“Yes,” the word was almost unrecognizable, so reluctant to come out. Twisted into something foreign.
“What did you say?” Father leaned forward so they were eye to eye.
“Yes, Father,” Thor nodded, squaring his jaw. “Yes, I agree.”
Father straightened, sticking out a hand. “Then that settles it.”
Thor nodded. This was what he wanted. If Father thought it best, then it was. It must be. Still, tears stung at the back of his eyes, trying to claw their way free. Thor blinked them back and shook his father’s hand.
“Congratulations, the announcement will be made within the end of the week.” Father turned on his heel and walked out.
Like that, Thor was alone in the kitchen. History’s afterthought . It was just so…so cruel . He had been taught and raised with the idea that he and Loki were equals, how could the entire concept be overturned so quickly?
And the expectations. Thor had lived under the weight of great expectations his whole life, he was no stranger to it. But this was different. Father had spoken with such clear and definite certainty. And…and Thor had felt a swell of pride. He’d liked it. So what if he failed? What if he proved his father wrong?
His thoughts were interrupted by a noise behind him. Thor turned quickly, hands already halfway up in a fighting position.
Loki was standing, half obscured in shadow and standing in the doorway of the secret passage.
Panic seized his spine and Thor called out, “Loki—”
“Don’t bother, Thor,” Loki said gruffly, stepping out and brushing by Thor on his way to the hallway.
Thor managed to grab his wrist, making Loki pause long enough to say, “I’m sorry.” It was all he could manage.
Loki wrenched his arm free, gaze shooting daggers and eyes glazed over in a strange haze. Thor remembered a time when he used to be able to read every miniature expression on his brother’s face.
Loki muttered, “I used to look up to you, you know? I used to think you were this great person.”
“That’s unfair,” Thor said. He hadn’t asked for Odin to say those things and he hadn’t asked for Loki to overhear.
Loki glanced to the side, as if debating what words to use. Finally, he said, “You know what, Thor? I hope your reign is successful, I really do. I hope you bring greatness to the kingdom and historians can forget about your afterthought of a brother.”
Before Thor could respond, Loki was gone.
He cursed, kicking the side of a cabinet so hard the wood splintered. He didn’t care. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have hurt Loki? How could he have let himself get carried away in hubris? Some small and insistent part of him knew the answer, though. And that was more of the problem than the questions themselves.
It was because Thor wanted to be king. It was because Thor was ambitious, because this was all he’d dared to imagine. Everything he ever wanted, and now he could start planning beyond that dream.
To be king .
Some terrible, selfish part of him thought, It didn’t matter what Loki felt now. Now that Thor was promised a future of greatness. He felt terrible, but…it was done. The decision was made. What would happen would happen, and Thor had little control over that.
Still, he felt like he’d lost Loki. It made no sense, Loki hadn’t gone anywhere. But…they would never be the same again, especially not now.
Thor set his jaw, clenching his fists at his side. He would throw himself into his lessons, he would become the man his father thought he could be. He and Loki would still grow side by side, but they would do it separately.