Chapter Text
Paul and Patrick lay in bed, both staring up at the ceiling. Sitting in the usual awkward ‘what do we do now’ after sex thing. Something weird had happened the last time they slept together, and Paul could not stop thinking about it. whether it was in the heat of the moment or not Patirck said…. I love you. Paul shifted a bit sitting up. He propped himself up with one arm and faced Patrick.
“What are we?” Paul asked with a semi-serious tone.
Patrick dreaded the day Paul would ask this question because he knew Paul was exactly the type to ask someone this. Patrick hated this because he was growing some small feelings for Paul, and this question only temped Patrick's worst part of himself. The type that wanted more out of whatever this was.
“Nothing, I hate you.” After saying that Patrick rolled over so he wasn't facing Paul anymore.
Paul let himself drop back onto the bed and went back to staring at the ceiling. Then just like nails on a chalkboard to Patrick, Paul started speaking again.
“You kn--”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Patrick quickly interrupted.
“It was a serious question” Paul muttered with an annoyed tone, just loud enough for Patrick to hear.
Patrick rolled over and sat up. He shot a glare at Paul, then let out a sigh.
“I don’t see why it matters,” Patrick says.
Paul turns his head to look at Patrick
“I mean…. We.. this is just sex okay.” Patrick insists.
“Then why did you say what you did during sex? Surely that meant something, you don't just say that Batemen.”
Patrick felt a wave of mortification run through his body. Patrick shifted a bit so he was still facing Paul but now leaning in a bit.
“It. didn't. Mean. anything. I swear Paul. trust me I would never in a million say that to another man, no less you.” Patrick scowled at Paul.
This bruised Paul’s ego a bit so he decided to bite back.
“What you scared? Are you scared of not hiding yourself anymore? I mean I knew you were a coward but Christ… Batemen. As far as am concerned no amount of hiding that your a faggot makes you any less of one.” Paul's words were like venom.
“Am not a faggot Paul. am just experimenting and by your logic you are just as much of a fag as I am.” Patrick had a nasty look on his face like he could kill Paul for saying such things, but Patrick knew better than to kill someone without some plan first.
“At least I don’t hide it like a coward. I don’t go shouting it from the rooftops but I don’t hide behind women like you do. At least not anymore” Paul was fully sitting up at this point. He was sitting up confidently his muscles tensed and bent as he faced Patrick.
“Am leaving.” Patrick at this point has had enough and started getting up and dressed. His clothes sitting messily on a chair and Paul's room.
“You know why I can’t… be who you think I am. Despite your seeming obsession with making me into it.” Patrick said as he stood in front of Paul's mirror getting dressed.
“I know why you won’t, but I simply don’t see your obsession with fitting in, With your friends and your work and your family.”
Patrick doesn’t respond until he finishes getting dressed. Patrick turns around to face Paul with a nasty glare on his face.
“Don't call me Paul… consider this the last time we have sex. You are not worth ruining my life over” Patrick walked out of Paul's room and then left the apartment. Paul heard the front door slam violently as Patrick left.
Paul was left with this hollow feeling of… well he didn’t know how to feel. It had all happened so fast. Unsure of what to do now Paul slinks back into bed and goes back to staring at the ceiling like there wasn't an empty spot next to him now.