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Tav has called Baldur’s Gate home for the entirety of her adult life. She knows the city like the back of her hand, been to most of the bars in it with her friends. But until Kith’rak Voss had suggested they meet there, she’d never even dreamed of setting foot inside Sharess’ Caress. It’d never drawn her attention, or piqued her curiosity. She could’ve died never having gone in.
Actually, a part of her wishes she had died before crossing the threshold, if for no other reason than she wouldn’t have to see what feels like everyone in the building flirt with Astarion.
She sighs as she watches him chat with the drow twins Kira had warned them about. He looks at ease, talking with them, but she’s careful to make sure he stays that way. She’s grown protective of him, ever since their encounter with Araj. Based on the details of his past that he’s shared with her, she wants to make sure he knows she’ll always support and protect him, no matter what.
The female drow twirls her hair around her finger while saying something to him, everything in her body language announcing her flirtatious intentions. He shakes his head, but it still makes something twist in her stomach. She’s a big enough person to admit to herself it’s not all protective instinct that keeps her eyes on him.
It’d mostly been uncomfortable when Gale, Lae’zel, Halsin, Wyll, and Karlach that one time had flirted with her, but there was a small part of her that’d enjoyed it. After all, being flirted with was, and still is, a sort of novelty. Now, however, having to watch Astarion be flattered and fawned over, she feels like she must be experiencing some sort of karmic retribution.
Not that she really thinks Astarion will try and sleep with one of the people at Sharess’ Caress, workers and patrons alike, but it is a reminder that he has his choice of partner. Why he picked her, she has absolutely no idea. The seduction she understands, intellectually, but the wanting an actual relationship? It's a mystery.
She tries not to think about it.
She’s finished her ale by the time he extracts himself, and takes the glass he hands her when he sits down next to her gratefully.
“Where have our companions run off to?” he asks, watching as she takes a long drink.
“Lae’zel and Kith’rak wanted to speak further, so they went to back to camp. I think Shadowheart went with them,” she tells him, setting down her glass. “What did the drow twins want?”
“They were interested in getting to know me better, so to speak. It was rather annoying,” he tells her with a roll of his eyes.
She smiles at the disgust in his tone. “Not flattering?”
He sighs. “I won’t pretend it wasn’t nice to hear, but I appreciate when people understand the word no to mean it. I explained to them I wasn’t interested, and then, when they persisted, I told them I was here with you.”
Her heart leaps into her throat. “And?”
“They invited you along,” he says, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear as he looks at her curiously. “But if we weren’t going to invite Halsin into our relationship, I could hardly dare to imagine you would want them.”
She tries to ignore the twisting in her stomach. “I’m not surprised. Everyone’s eyes have been on you since we stepped foot inside.”
Comprehension dawns on his face. “Are you jealous?” he asks, delighted.
“No,” she grumbles, trying to look away.
He won’t let her, a long finger keeping her chin pointed towards him. His eyes twinkle in the dim light of the alcove like he doesn’t believe her. “Then why the long face?”
It’s not a conversation she really wants to have, but the alcohol has loosened her tongue just enough for her to blurt out, “I just hate being reminded.”
By his expression, the words were clearly not something he was expecting to hear. “Reminded of what?”
Her face burns as she turns back to her drink, his finger dropping from her jaw. “That you could have anyone.”
“I am extremely attractive,” he grants. “But, my sweet, you are the one reaping the benefits.”
She really doesn’t want to have this conversation. “I know.”
To cover up having to say anything else, she takes another drink. Her hopes that he’ll drop the topic, however, are dashed, when he waits for her to set her mug down before saying, “I really don’t understand what’s gotten you into such a mood.”
It’s a bad idea to have more of the ale, but if they have to have this conversation, she'd rather they do it here than at camp, surrounded by their nosy companions, and she'd rather not be entirely sober. She needs the courage to tell him, “I just don’t understand why.”
“Why what?”
“Why me.” She turns to him to meet his gaze, equal parts concerned and confused. “This isn’t to say - I understand why you seduced me in the first place. I could protect you. I can protect you and I always will. But, Astarion,” she pauses to take a breath and is horrified to realize her eyes are starting to burn from unshed tears, “you realized, you must have realized I'll protect you no matter what by now. You could break things off with me and it won’t change anything. So you don’t need to be with me. You could have anyone, and I’m just -”
“Just what?” His tone is flat, and something is shifting behind his eyes.
She can’t name it, whatever emotion he’s dealing with, so she turns back to her drink. There’s a mouthful left, only enough to see her reflection, a painful reminder of her issue. “Just me. Plain and awkward. I -”
“That’s quite enough,” he interrupts her, his fingers cupping her jaw and firmly turning her face towards him. His eyes are bright with something that looks a lot like anger. “I will not hear you disparage yourself.”
“Astar-”
“It’s my turn to speak.” He uses his other arm to wind around her shoulders and tug her closer to him, pulling her chair in so it’s touching his. “I will not do you the disservice of pretending you’re some great beauty, because you’re not. But you are not plain. In fact, you are the single most attractive person in the world to me. Do you understand?”
A tear escapes, running down her cheek to his fingertips, against her better judgment. “No.”
He huffs, releasing her jaw to slide his fingers through her hair. “Shall I explain it to you then? I never took you for someone whose ego needed to be flattered.”
“I’m not looking for compliments, by the hells.” She tries to shove him away, but he tightens his arm around her shoulders and grips her hair. Part of her hates the way she feels her pulse quicken in response.
“No, I know you’re not a fan of petty vanity,” he murmurs softly, in contrast to his harsh hold on her. “Which makes me think I’ve somehow failed in showing you how I feel about you.”
That makes guilt twist in her stomach, that she's putting her own buried insecurities on him. “Astarion -”
His lips cut her off, a kiss that borders on unbearably sweet. She whimpers, opening her mouth to him, causing him to pull away. Instead, he presses his mouth to her ear. “Do you know what I see when I look at you? A naive optimist who, annoyingly, wants to believe the best in people, and who is, more annoyingly, usually right.” He gives her earlobe a sharp nip before soothing it with his tongue. “A talented druid whose bleeding heart I was certain was going to get us killed. A fierce protector who would never let anyone she is loyal to come to harm. A woman whose smile lights up a room, and whose laugh is infectious. A lover who is soft and careful and caring.” His lips move to her neck, pressing a wet kiss to it. “You are the only person in two hundred years that made my heart feel like it could beat again. You’ve made me believe impossible things are perhaps not actually impossible. And I can’t even begin to fathom why you would compare yourself to anyone else.” He pulls back to look at her, the anger in his eyes gone and replaced with something softer. “Pretty faces are a gold piece a pound, my love. You are not.”
At some point, more tears made their way down her face, and she sniffles a little. “I’m glad to have found you.”
It’s not what she really wants to say, but she knows, for all his words, he’s still not ready to hear it. The corner of his mouth quirks up. “As am I.” He kisses her again, deeply this time, tugging her bottom lip between his teeth and swallowing the gasp that escapes her. His hand hasn’t moved from her hair, so she can’t do anything but accept his tongue when it slips into her mouth.
She’s taken aback by the passion, given the fact that they’re in a public space. Pulling back as much as she can, she whines, “Astarion, what -“
“I want you,” he interrupts, words harsh against her skin as he leans in, chasing her. “I want to watch you fall apart with my name on your lips.”
Her underwear must be soaked through with the shiver his words send through her. She meets his gaze, surprised. “Here?”
His smile is a slow curve of wicked gleam. “And why not? I guarantee no one is paying attention to us in this darkened corner we’ve found. Just a quick slip of your fingers against your cunt, hm?”
The Tav of six months ago would’ve never agreed to anything remotely like this, but the person she is now swallows thickly in anticipation. “You want me to -”
“Touch yourself for me, my love,” he murmurs. “I want to see it.”
Looking around to ensure she can’t see past him towards the bar, she gives a shaky exhale before unbuttoning her trousers enough to slip her fingers into the waistband. She’s so wet, and it’s been so long since she’s been able to get herself off, she knows it’ll be fast.
At first it’s a little awkward, trying to find a good rhythm as he watches her with hungry eyes, but his arm around her shoulder and hand in her hair keeping her face tucked close to his helps. And then he starts talking.
Her fingers are slippery with her arousal as she rubs tight circles into her clit, just the right pressure as he says, “That’s it, my love. Gods, I can smell you from here. It's making my mouth water. Your cunt tastes absolutely divine, have I told you? I can’t wait for another chance to put my mouth on you.”
She whimpers at the memory of the last time he’d buried his face between her legs. The way he’d looked up at her from between her thighs has her biting down on her lip to prevent a moan from leaving her throat.
“You’re positively dripping, my sweet, but it isn’t enough, is it? No, your poor cunt is empty, isn’t she?”
It makes her want to weep with frustration. “Yes, Gods, Astarion, need you.”
“I know, my love, I know,” he whispers into her ear, tracing it with his tongue, “and you’ll have me soon enough. For now, why don’t you slip your fingers inside for me?”
It takes every bit of concentration for her to not scream. “It’s not the same,” she tells him, choking back a sob.
He uses his hold on her to press her face into the crook of his neck to help muffle the sound. “Be a good girl and do it, darling. I won’t ask again.”
She gasps as her fingers slide inside, the angle slightly uncomfortable, but she’s past caring. Her orgasm is so close she can taste it.
“That’s it, my love. Fuck yourself on your fingers for me. Imagine how good it’ll feel when I finally give you my cock.”
She whimpers again, transfixed by the velvet smoothness of his voice.
“When we’re done with this horrid business, I’m going to lock you in a room for a week straight and keep you tied to the bed to keep you stuffed full of my cock and my seed, with my mouth on your tits and my fingers on your clit. I'm going to touch every part of you to find the spots that make you scream. I want to drive you mad with desire. Until you can’t think of anything but me, and all of these silly ideas of yourself fly from your head.”
She has to bite down on the skin of his neck over the collar of his shirt to muffle the scream that wants to escape. He gasps and tightens his grip in her hair, sparking pinpricks of pain and pleasure that have her cunt clenching down on her woefully inadequate fingers.
But she doesn’t topple over the edge of pleasure until she hears his whispered request, “Now, I want you to come. Come for me, my love, can you do that?”
As if she were under a spell, his words set the lightning strikes under her skin off, and she can’t help the broken whisper of his name that she cries into his neck. Her body shakes and shivers with the force of her orgasm, the strongest one she's had since he was last inside her, and she’s sure she would be falling out of her chair if his arms weren’t around her so securely.
When she comes back to herself, he’s petting her hair gently, fingers unwound from the strands. She’s loathe to leave his arms, but her back is starting to cramp, and her arm fell asleep approximately a minute ago, so she stretches as quietly as she can, grimacing as she removes her hand from her trousers, buttoning them up quickly.
He smiles when she meets his gaze after she’s finished, self-satisfied and teasing. “You look delicious enough to eat, darling, with your flushed cheeks. In fact, I’ll have a taste.”
She blushes furiously as he takes the two fingers that were up her cunt into his mouth, his red eyes holding hers until he closes them to moan. Trying to tug her hand away from him, she hisses, “Astarion!”
He doesn’t let her and licks her clean, before releasing her fingers with a wet sound. “I was only making sure not a drop went to waste.”
“I can’t believe I did that,” she murmurs, dropping her face into her hands.
She assumes rather than sees his eyes roll. “Once again, darling, I guarantee no one here was paying attention. You were so well behaved. As quiet as a mouse, if I had to describe it. I was impressed. It gave me some ideas.”
Her hands drop so she can meet his gaze again. He’s grinning that devilish smile that makes her stomach clench. “Care to share?”
He hums, getting up and extending a hand to her. “All in due time, my sweet. For now, I think we should make our way back to camp, before someone gets it in their head to come looking for us. Don’t you?”
“Fine.” She takes his hand with a sigh, squeezing their interlaced fingers as they make their way towards the door.
Based on the lack of reaction from the people around them, she thinks he was right, and that no one noticed their little interlude in the shadowy corner. It relaxes her, and has her breathing easier, until she accidentally makes eye contact with the female drow he’d been talking to earlier. The stranger gives her a knowing wink, and it’s enough to have her turning red as they exit the building.
Still, she can’t quite regret it, looking up at Astarion’s profile in the bright sunlight. He’s getting more and more comfortable with her touch and intimacy. It feels like a good step forward.
He brings their joined hands up to his lips for a kiss, eyes warm as he looks down at her, and she's sure, she doesn't regret it at all.