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“Is it really that strange?”
Matsukawa quirked an eyebrow at Iwaizumi as the two of them shrugged off their jackets and kicked out of their shoes in the apartment entryway.
“Is what strange?” he asked.
They had barely spoken on their way home except to agree that they'd tidy up the apartment while Hanamaki and Oikawa stopped for beer & snacks at the corner store.
The furrow in Iwaizumi’s brow deepened. “You know. What they said earlier. Back at the bar. About how I’ve never—”
He hung his jacket next to Matsukawa’s and ran a hand through his hair with a huff. “C’mon Mattsun, don’t make me say it.”
“Oh,” Matsukawa crooned, “you mean, is it weird that you — Seijoh’s ace, world-traveler, star athletic trainer — have never kissed anyone?”
A slow smile spread across his face as he took in the blush that dusted his friend’s cheeks.
“You know what? Forget I said anything.” Iwaizumi pouted and grumbled, “I’m going to bed. Tell the other two idiots to keep it down when they get here.”
That pout made his heart skip a beat, but his chest squeezed tight with guilt the moment he caught the hurt look in Iwaizumi’s eyes as he turned away to stomp toward the guest bedroom he’d claimed as his for the week.
Matsukawa hurried after him, nearly falling on his face as he tripped over his own shoes.
“Hajime—Woah! Haji, wait a second.” He grabbed ahold of his wrist to hold him back. “I-I’m sorry. I was just playing. So were Makki and Tooru. We weren’t trying to hurt you. Shit, Haji. If we had known you actually cared about that stuff, we wouldn’t have teased you about it.”
“Yeah…” He watched Iwaizumi’s shoulders slump with a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I know. I don’t care. Not really. But…it is weird. Isn’t it? Mid-twenties and I’ve never kissed anyone.”
Iwaizumi huffed a bitter, self-deprecating laugh that made Matsukawa’s heart ache.
“No,” he told him firmly, fingers still gripping his wrist like he was afraid of what would happen if he let go. “Surprising, maybe, but it’s not weird. Not for you.”
He realized instantly that was the wrong thing to say.
Iwaizumi pulled his wrist out of his grip and crossed his [very thick] arms over his [very broad] chest, turning to him with a withering look that made Matsukawa forget he had a good four inches on him. His head spun with the cyclone of emotion that whirled around his brain.
He’d blame it on the alcohol, but he hadn’t had a drink in hours. “What I mean is— You—” Matsukawa’s face flushed hot, and he dragged a hand across the back of his neck in a weak attempt to hide his blush.
He focused his eyes on a carpet stain across the room because he couldn’t bring himself to look up to see Iwaizumi’s expression when he stuttered, “You’re not the kind of guy to…to kiss just anyone.”
After a long, tense silence, Iwaizumi said softly, “What makes you think you know anything about who I want to kiss?”
There was something there in his voice. A tightness that betrayed something deeper, but Matsukawa wouldn’t dare to guess at what.
“Guess I don’t. But I do know you.” Matsukawa chanced a glance at Iwaizumi’s face and found that, while his guard was still clearly up, his expression had softened. “And I know any person lucky enough to get there with you is going to know exactly how important that moment is. They’ll know exactly how important they are. That’s not strange. It’s…special.”
Iwaizumi smiled, a quiet quirk of his lip that had Matsukawa’s heart stuttering in his chest.
“You're so embarrassing.”
“Says the guy who’s never been kissed.”
“Asshole,” Iwaizumi laughed and flicked him on the forehead just as they heard Oikawa and Hanamaki coming in through the front door.
He should have known better than to expect those two to provide them with a distraction. As soon as Oikawa and Hanamaki crossed the threshold they were all over each other. Not exactly a surprise, but still. Matsukawa found himself unprepared for the weight that settled in his chest each time he saw the two of them embrace. Unprepared for the tension that crackled in the air each time he met Iwaizumi’s eyes across the room when their two friends kissed, giddy and giggling with their mouths still pressed together.
As the night wound down and conversation dwindled, he excused himself to step outside on the balcony. He leaned against the railing and gazed out over the city, counting the streetlights in the distance until the tugging in his chest was less insistent.
He knew what that feeling was. He had just thought that he’d moved on.
Stupid.
The door slid open behind him, screen rattling in the track as someone stepped through and slid it closed again.
“Here.”
Iwaizumi pressed a fresh beer into his hand. The brush of his fingertips had Matsukawa’s heart in his throat.
“I think I’m done drinking,” he murmured.
“Me too. But I have something to ask you. And if I’m completely off base we’re going to blame it on the alcohol and then never speak of it again.” Iwaizumi held up his own bottle, its cap still in place.
“C’mon. Can’t be that bad.” Matsukawa chuckled and then cringed at how nervous he sounded.
“It’s…about earlier… About what you said.”
‘Of course it is,’ Matsukawa thought, his mind sparking with all the thoughts that had fueled his nightmares over the past decade.
“What if I…uh…”
Iwaiumi took an unsteady breath, thumbnail steadily scratching away at the label on his beer bottle.
“What if you…?”
Iwaizumi sighed and all but whispered, “What if I wanted it to be you?”
Matsukawa’s beer bottle slipped out of his grasp, tumbling to the floor. He turned toward Iwaizumi, blinking dumbly. “W-what?”
Even in the dark, Matsukawa could see the way Iwaizumi’s cheeks darkened.
“Forget it. Fuck…sorry. I’m— It’s the alcohol. Forget I said anything.”
He tried to turn and flee again but Matsukawa was too quick. Before he could reach the door Matsukawa stepped in and pressed him back, caging him in against the railing.
“Do you really mean that,” Matsukawa rasped, heart in his throat.
He gripped the railing hard and met Iwaizumi’s gaze with the same ferocity echoed back at him.
“Issei—”
Iwaizumi’s breath ghosted across his chin and he fought back a shudder. “Ask me,” he whispered, leaning in. ”Ask me again.”
“Issei…” Iwaizumi blinked up at him in the dim light. “Will you kiss me?”
Matsukawa sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and tightened his grip on the railing.
“You don’t want that,” he whispered.
“What do you know?” Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes.
ROLLED HIS EYES!!
Fuck him for being so charming. Really.
“You know…Makki would probably tell you that you could do better.”
“Mmm. So would Oikawa.” Before Matsukawa could balk in mock offense Iwaizumi added, “But it’s always been you. It’s only ever been you.”
Matsukawa leaned in, brushing his nose against Iwaizumi’s and bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. “You’re sure?”
“It’s like you said earlier. Anyone who makes it here will know exactly how important this moment is…exactly how important they are. So kiss me, Issei.”
Matsukawa nodded and pressed closer, breaths mingling in the scant space between their lips. He watched as Iwaizumi’s eyes slipped closed, lashes fanned over his pink cheeks.
He angled his chin and finally — FINALLY — pressed his lips against Iwaizumi’s.
It was soft. Tender. A little hesitant. Just a sweet press of lips. It was everything a first kiss is supposed to be.
“Wow,” Iwaizumi whispered when they parted. “That was…crap.”
Matsukawa snapped his eyes open, mortified. “W-what!? But…that was your first kiss. I—“
Gods, he fucked it up. He took something that wasn’t his to begin with and ruined it. It’s supposed to be NICE. It’s supposed to be sweet! Not—
Iwaizumi caught his wrist and tugged him close again, mischief and mirth dancing in his green eyes.
“Then why are you the one shaking to pieces? I’m trying to confess over here. The least you could do is kiss me like you mean it.”
Matsukawa’s breath hitched. “You’re serious?”
Iwaizumi chuckled lightly. “I’m serious. I like you, idiot. I think…”
“Yeah?”
Iwaizumi slid his hands around Matsukawa’s waist and grinned few up at him. “I think I love you.”
“Hajime…” he breathed.
“Kiss me, Issei,” Iwaizumi whispered again, as much of a ’please’ as he was going to give.
Matsukawa reached up and curled his fingers around Iwaizumi’s nape. Brushed his thumbs over those handsome stained cheeks. And this time, when he dipped down to slot their lips together,
it was perfect.