Moving in with you

by SophiaHoppia

Summary:

One night, unexpected circumstances force Wang Yue to leave his flat. With no other place to go, he crashes at Ling Rui's place, intending to return home the next day, but things aren't as easy as he thought. Struggling to accept the generosity and hospitality of Ling Rui and his family, Wang Yue desperately searches for a solution to his predicament.

JZEU character guide

Chapter 1: Interruption (night of Monday, March 22nd)

Summary:

Ling Rui accompanies Wang Yue home for some sexy times, but not everything goes as planned.

Notes:

I wanted to write this fic for almost a year but let other people and negative thoughts stop me. But not this time. I wrote this fic for me, and my mind is at peace.

Warning: Like every fic of this series, it's written from Wang Yue's POV. He has an eating disorder and he's often deep in his depression, making wrong assumptions. He also has a very unhealthy opinion about what he's supposed to do in a relationship.

Thanks to MT for helping me with all the Chinese names again.
Thanks to G for beta-reading and listening to my whining!

This chapter starts with smut, but I swear this is a story fic.

6,9k words

"If you're too tired, we don't have to—"

Wang Yue's half-hearted, humble protest was quelled by Ling Rui's hot lips, eagerly pressing against his mouth. Groaning, Wang Yue rolled his eyes back and clung to Ling Rui's coat, the fabric unbelievably warm and soft against his skin. He shouldn't wrinkle it. Using all of his willpower, he uncurled his fingers and carefully placed his hands on Ling Rui's hips instead, trying not to squeeze too hard.

"I am tired," Ling Rui admitted, his voice raspy as their lips parted way too soon for Wang Yue's liking. For a second, Wang Yue thought he had seen Ling Rui's breath, but it couldn't be. It was cold in his flat, but not that cold. "But I'm even more stressed, and it's been so long since we—" Ling Rui broke off his sentence. His cheeks were flushed, glowing red in the warm light of the old floor lamp. Somehow, his skin didn't look as impeccable as usual, a red splotch on his chin. But maybe Wang Yue was only imagining things. And no matter what, Ling Rui was still beautiful.

Whining, Ling Rui leaned in to claim another kiss, his teeth clicking against Wang Yue's. He was wild and needy — more desperate than usual. But Wang Yue couldn't blame him and did his best to reciprocate the kiss, mirroring Ling Rui's amount of vigor. It had been way too long since they had last made out and even longer since they had fucked. 

"I'm sorry," Ling Rui whispered, his eyes closed, forehead resting against Wang Yue's. His breathing was erratic. His hands had sneaked under Wang Yue's jeans jacket, palms feeling hot on Wang Yue's waist through the thin fabric of his worn-out shirt. "If you're too tired, we—"

"What do you need?" Wang Yue interrupted him. 

Ling Rui opened his eyes, staring at Wang Yue, his brows drawn together. He was looking for something on Wang Yue's face, his gaze scrutinizingly. Wang Yue smiled seductively, his eyelids half-lidded. He knew Ling Rui was afraid that he was ignoring his own needs again to please Ling Rui, but Wang Yue had learned to mask his desires and show Ling Rui what he wanted to see. To him, it wasn't important what they did. As long as Ling Rui enjoyed himself, Wang Yue was happy with everything Ling Rui offered to him. Just being with Ling Rui still seemed like a dream. Wang Yue wouldn't dare to ask for more, even though Ling Rui often wanted him to. Why should Wang Yue risk putting Ling Rui off with his requests if he could just go along with Ling Rui's wishes instead?

"Let me pleasure you," Wang Yue whispered when Ling Rui hesitated for some reason, planting a quick kiss on his lips. "What do you need?"

Ling Rui whined, his lips quivering. He was tense as he grabbed Wang Yue's waist tighter. It was written all over his face that he wanted to resist Wang Yue's sweet seduction but couldn't. Ling Rui's breath came in huffs when he finally gave in. 

"Can I take you?" 

"Fuck, yeah!" Wang Yue had been ready to do everything for Ling Rui — quickly rub him off, blow him, or whatever else he desired. But this was even more promising. Wang Yue loved getting fucked by Ling Rui. Almost too eagerly, Wang Yue groaned and fumbled to open the buttons of Ling Rui's beige coat. 

According to the calendar, it was the beginning of spring, but the weather still felt like the deepest winter. Wang Yue's hands were cold, and his fingers were almost numb after making deliveries for hours. He had worn gloves, but they were too old and thin to fight off the icy wind. The only thing that had kept him from freezing was the handmade, knitted black and gray striped scarf Ling Rui had given him months ago. Wang Yue wore it every day. It kept his heart warm — just like Ling Rui's lips that found Wang Yue's again, pulling him into another kiss.

It had been a pleasant surprise when Ling Rui had shown up at the restaurant after midnight today. He had worked the late shift at the hospital and stayed even longer for overtime. Usually, he was too tired on days like these and often didn't have enough energy to meet Wang Yue —which was unfortunate but understandable— but tonight, he had accompanied Wang Yue home. Even though Wang Yue enjoyed spending time with Ling Rui in every way —grateful for every valuable second of time Ling Rui gifted him— he had hoped Ling Rui would be horny and in the mood to fuck. They barely ever had any time for just the two of them, always surrounded by family or colleagues, and Wang Yue really wanted to make the most out of this chance. It was a selfish desire. But if Ling Rui craved sex as well, Wang Yue could indulge himself for once. 

When they had started dating about half a year ago, Ling Rui had slowly learned to explore his sexuality. He hadn't had any experience with men before — and barely any experience with sex in general. But soon, Ling Rui's interest had awakened, and Wang Yue had been grateful to have a partner who seemed to be almost as horny as himself. 

Over the last few weeks, however, Ling Rui's enthusiasm had subsided. Wang Yue didn't know if Ling Rui's curiosity to explore something new had been satisfied, causing him to grow bored, or if the stress had killed his libido. Ling Rui had complained more often than usual about work and his family demanding too much of his time, but maybe Wang Yue was only fishing for excuses, unable to accept that Ling Rui was losing interest in him. 

Wang Yue would love nothing more than to let himself get fucked by Ling Rui for hours, moaning loud and unashamed, but he could neither rob Ling Rui of his much-needed sleep nor risk waking Wang Chao, who was sleeping in the room next door. They had to be quick and quiet tonight — like so often. 

After finally opening the buttons of Ling Rui's coat, Wang Yue reached inside, his fingers sneaking under Ling Rui's pullover, greedily seeking skin contact.

Gasping, Ling Rui broke their kiss. "Your hands are cold!"

"Sorry." Self-consciously, Wang Yue pulled his hands back. He should have considered that instead of selfishly touching Ling Rui. 

But Ling Rui didn't complain any further. Instead, he grabbed Wang Yue's hands and intertwined their fingers. "We've gotta warm you up," he whispered. Capturing Wang Yue's lips in another kiss, Ling Rui pushed Wang Yue backwards, steering them towards the bed. 

When Wang Yue felt the edge of the mattress pressing against the back of his legs, Ling Rui pushed down on his shoulders. Reluctantly, Wang Yue broke the kiss and obediently flopped down. The old bed frame creaked under his weight. 

"Give me a moment," Ling Rui whispered. Taking off his scarf and coat, he quickly looked around before draping them over the backrest of an old chair. 

Like every other time Ling Rui visited, Wang Yue made a mental note to buy a coat rack. But at the end of every month, he realized that his budget was too tight to afford such a luxury — even though Ling Rui only deserved the best. Wang Yue really needed to find a way to make Ling Rui's stay here more comfortable. When Ling Rui took off his fluffily padded winter boots, Wang Yue quickly slipped out of the sneakers he wore all year long. Mindlessly, he kicked them out of the way, one rolling under the bed and the other bonking against the wall beside the bed.

"Xiao Yue." Ling Rui sighed. 

Before Wang Yue could react, Ling Rui had already crouched down to pick up the shoes, neatly arranging them next to his own.

"Sorry." Wang Yue knew how much Ling Rui cared about tidiness but impatience had made him thoughtless. He really shouldn't ruin the mood with his carelessness. What if that action had killed Ling Rui's arousal? Quickly, Wang Yue slipped out of his jeans jacket, aimed, and threw it right at the chair. Ling Rui blinked in surprise. With a soft smile, he picked it up anyway and only placed it back down after properly folding it once. Wang Yue couldn't refrain from rolling his eyes, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. It was getting too long. He scooted further back on the mattress. "I'm cold," he mumbled — if only to gain Ling Rui's attention. 

It worked.

Ling Rui finally joined him on the bed. Cupping Wang Yue's cheek, he kissed him again. His other hand grabbed Wang Yue's, rubbing his fingers over Wang Yue's dry skin to warm it up. His lips moved slower this time, the hunger and need he had previously expressed gone, but it still felt so good. Maybe Wang Yue was too touch-starved again. He knew he craved more physical contact than other people. 

Wang Yue's body heated up as hot arousal surged through his veins, getting lost in the kiss until he remembered he had a task to fulfill. Ling Rui wanted to fuck him. He should hurry up before Ling Rui's mood could subside completely — he already seemed to be less aroused than when they arrived here. Wang Yue didn't intend to miss this chance to be intimate with Ling Rui and cockblock himself while denying Ling Rui what his body had clearly craved moments ago. 

Without breaking their kiss, Wang Yue freed his hand from Ling Rui's warm grip and reached under his pillow for his bottle of lube. He had to do something to reawaken Ling Rui's arousal. What had turned Ling Rui on so much in the first place that he had come to seek out Wang Yue's company in the middle of the night? 

"I was surprised when you showed up tonight," Wang Yue whispered against Ling Rui's lips. Meanwhile, he slipped out of his jeans and underwear. A deep growl reverberated through Ling Rui's throat as his eyes darted downwards. "Did you think about me?" Wang Yue dared to ask. With a click, he opened the bottle of lube and quickly coated his fingers.

Pushing his bottom lip forward, Ling Rui pouted but hummed in confirmation. 

Cocking his head, Wang Yue couldn't refrain from teasing Ling Rui a bit. "Are you embarrassed?" Licking his lips, he smirked and got up on his knees, inserting a finger into his hole. He didn't pay much attention to the feeling. One finger never did anything to him. "Why did you think about me?"

Groaning, Ling Rui buried his face in Wang Yue's scarf. "It was a stupid reason," he mumbled.

"Tell me," Wang Yue asked, hoping it would help relight the fire of Ling Rui's arousal. Wang Yue gasped as he pushed a second finger inside too soon. It was tight. He could feel the stretch. It really had been too long since he had something up his ass. Biting down on his bottom lip, he ignored the light feeling of discomfort and made scissoring motions with his fingers. It would feel good soon enough. He just had to grit his teeth until his body got used to the intrusion.

"I snapped at Peng Bo," Ling Rui admitted with a sigh, and Wang Yue blinked in surprise.

"What?" He hadn't expected to hear the name of Ling Rui's best friend and colleague while in bed.

"I didn't mean to!" Raising his head, Ling Rui looked at Wang Yue with a pleading expression. Self-aware, Wang Yue got further down, sitting on his knees, even though it wasn't comfortable for his wrist. But Ling Rui shouldn't have to look up to Wang Yue as if he were beneath him. "Please believe me," Ling Rui added, drawing Wang Yue's attention back to their conversation.

"Of course." Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui was always patient and kind.

"I was just so stressed and—" Shaking his head, Ling Rui took a deep breath. "Anyway." His cheeks flushed, and he averted his eyes. "Peng Bo told me I was too tense and should get laid."

"Oh." Wang Yue quickly pushed a third finger inside. The stretch burned, but he ignored it. He had to get ready. Ling Rui needed him. If even Peng Bo had realized how sexually frustrated Ling Rui was because Wang Yue had failed to take care of him lately, it was high time to change that.

"It was just a stupid joke between bros, but it made me think—" sheepishly, Ling Rui peeked at Wang Yue before he averted his eyes again, the tips of his ears red "—about you."

If Ling Rui had ever had any pleasurable experience with other people, he would have thought about someone else. But fortunately, Wang Yue was the only one who Ling Rui had ever enjoyed sex with. For once in his life, Wang Yue was lucky. And he intended to make the most out of it until Ling Rui realized he could do so much better with someone else. Wang Yue really wasn't the best boyfriend, no matter how you looked at it. He was neither rich nor intelligent, neither creative nor skillful, neither beautiful nor elegant — he was nothing compared to Ling Rui. He was nothing compared to anyone, really. 

But he knew how to fuck.

"Well." Smirking, Wang Yue let his free hand travel down to grope Ling Rui, palming the bulge inside his pants. "I can help you out with getting laid." It was the least he could do — it was the only thing he could do.

Whimpering, Ling Rui closed his eyes and buried his face in Wang Yue's scarf again. Despite his embarrassment, he eagerly rolled his hips, rutting against Wang Yue's hand. "Sorry, I—"

"Nothing to be sorry about," Wang Yue reassured him, taking a relieved breath. Ling Rui was finally getting into this again. Teasingly, Wang Yue traced the outline of Ling Rui's growing erection with his fingertips. Fuck. He had almost forgotten how big Ling Rui's cock was. It really had been too long since their last time. "Just fuck me."

Whining, Ling Rui raised his head, strands of hair falling onto his forehead. "Sorry. It's been days since we last saw each other, and I just—" He gasped as Wang Yue grabbed his erection through his pants, stroking it to full hardness. "We should talk or go on a date, but my body—"

"We've both been busy, and it's the middle of the night," Wang Yue interrupted him, snorting. "It's fine if you only wanna fuck."

It would actually play into Wang Yue's hands. As long as they stayed in bed and spent their time making out, Ling Rui had fewer chances to notice all of Wang Yue's flaws. Besides, seeing how needy Ling Rui was, aroused Wang Yue. He was only a man in love. His willpower had limits. Was it wrong that he just wanted to get fucked by his sexy boyfriend? Excited, Wang Yue thrust his fingers in and out faster. 

"I love getting fucked by you." It was the truth. Growling, Wang Yue leaned up to claim another kiss. Greedily, he pushed his tongue into Ling Rui's mouth, relishing the heat. Wang Yue willingly let it happen when Ling Rui took off his scarf. When he impatiently tugged on his shirt next, Wang Yue pulled his hands back and broke their kiss to slip out of his last piece of clothing. He shuddered as the cold air hit his naked skin. He never used the heating in this room to save money, only lightly heating the main room where Wang Chao slept. 

Every thought about his brother or the cold was forgotten as Ling Rui leaned down to kiss Wang Yue's chest and suck on his nipple, warm hands roaming over his torso. Gasping, Wang Yue fell backwards, his hips bucking up, his erection brushing against Ling Rui. 

"Rui-ge," he whispered, arousal making his mind spin.

With an obscene slurping sound, Ling Rui let go of Wang Yue's nipple. "I love it when you call me that."

"Rui-ge," Wang Yue repeated, louder and filled with purpose. The name still felt so intimate, and Wang Yue rarely addressed anyone directly if it could be avoided —names carried too much meaning— but if Ling Rui enjoyed it, Wang Yue wouldn't hold back tonight.

Humming, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's nipples, softly massaging them between his fingers. 

Wang Yue gasped and opened his eyes wide, his hands clutching the sheets. He felt a bead of precum running down his shaft as electric sparks of pleasure made him flinch. His nipples had always been his weak point. "Fuck me, Rui-ge."

"Are you sure you're—"

"Fuck me!" Wang Yue repeated, allowing himself to be demanding and greedy. Wrapping his legs around Ling Rui, he rolled his hips, rubbing against the bulge in Ling Rui's pants.

Ling Rui inhaled sharply. "Condom," he whispered, frantically looking around. 

Wang Yue would let Ling Rui take him raw but understood that someone like Ling Rui, who cared about cleanliness and had seen far too many STDs at work, wasn't into barebacking. He would never push Ling Rui to do anything that would make him uncomfortable. 

"Under the bed," Wang Yue rasped, reminding Ling Rui of what he should know. He cleared his throat. Maybe Ling Rui was too aroused to think clearly. Wang Yue liked that thought. He loved it when Ling Rui was so into it that he lost it. Impatiently, Wang Yue searched for the discarded bottle of lube while Ling Rui fished for the box of condoms. 

They both panted as they fumbled to take off Ling Rui's pants, put on the condom, and cover it with lube. Once they were done, Wang Yue lay back down and willingly spread his legs. 

Groaning, Ling Rui grabbed one of Wang Yue's thighs while steadying his erection. He rubbed his tip against Wang Yue's puckering rim, causing a shudder of anticipation to rush through Wang Yue's body. Before Wang Yue could beg, Ling Rui pushed inside. Choking on a strangled cry, Wang Yue forced himself to relax, allowing the thick cock to slide deeper. The stretch burned, but Wang Yue didn't mind. It had been too long since he had gotten fucked. He was too intoxicated by lust to care about being sore tomorrow. 

When Ling Rui finally bottomed out, Wang Yue threw his head back with a loud groan. "Fuck! You're so big."

"Sorry." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's thigh harder.

"Don't be." Encouragingly, Wang Yue rolled his hips, making Ling Rui squeak by testing his self-control. "I love it. Fuck me! Come on!" It wasn't Wang Yue's intention to request something he didn't deserve, but Ling Rui often held back his desires since he was too worried about Wang Yue. That wouldn't do tonight. Ling Rui was too stressed lately. He needed to let loose and fuck Wang Yue without restraint. Wrapping his free leg around Ling Rui, Wang Yue let his foot sneak under Ling Rui's pullover and pressed his heel against his lower back. 

"Cold!" Twitching, Ling Rui slid deeper into Wang Yue, making him growl.

"Then warm me up already!" Wang Yue said before realizing how rude and demanding he sounded. He told himself that he only wanted the best for Ling Rui, but deep down, he couldn't deny that his body was greedy. Throbbing with burning need, Wang Yue squirmed, relishing how Ling Rui's fingers trembled on his thigh. He almost had him — Ling Rui barely managed to contain himself. "Rui-ge, please," Wang Yue whispered with a sinful tone of voice, batting his eyelashes.

And then, Ling Rui finally snapped. 

Bracing himself on the mattress with one hand, he pulled his hips back until only the tip of his cock remained inside Wang Yue before pushing back in with so much force that the bed rattled beneath them. Wang Yue yelped, open-mouthed. Locking eyes with Wang Yue, Ling Rui repeated the movement, and Wang Yue barely managed to reciprocate the intense gaze. 

The next thrust hit Wang Yue's prostate dead-on, and a breathless cry left his throat, his eyes wide. He had awakened a wanton beast but didn't regret it. On the contrary, he loved it when Ling Rui got wild. Groaning, Wang Yue raised his arms above his head, burying his fingers in the pillow. He had to cling to something to avoid accidentally touching Ling Rui with his cold hands. 

"You're so beautiful," Ling Rui whispered for some reason, causing Wang Yue to shake his head in denial. Ling Rui either didn't notice or didn't care that Wang Yue had silently objected, and his next thrust sent shocks of pleasure through Wang Yue's body, causing him to arch his back. "You're so responsive today."

Biting down on his bottom lip, Wang Yue threw his head back. Ling Rui rolled his hips faster, not giving Wang Yue any chance to recover. Wang Yue arched his back, his body craving more of the sweet pleasure, even though his brain could barely keep up. Long strands of hair clung to his sweaty forehead. 

Ling Rui's breath hitched as he sat up, his hand roaming over Wang Yue's chest and stomach. He wrapped his arms around Wang Yue's thigh, hugging and clinging to it as he halfway lifted Wang Yue's hips from the mattress, relentlessly fucking into him. Wang Yue loved it when Ling Rui manhandled him and simply took what he needed. It made him feel useful.

Ling Rui looked way too attractive as he glanced down at Wang Yue from above, rosy lips pressed together in concentration, gaze dark with lust. Wang Yue regretted that he hadn't gotten Ling Rui to take off his pullover, hiding his firm abs and broad chest underneath the soft fabric. But Wang Yue knew how quickly Ling Rui got cold, and Ling Rui's well-being was more important than Wang Yue's desires. Wang Yue's fingers twitched with the urge to reach out for Ling Rui, but he only dug them deeper into his pillow. He couldn't touch him. Ling Rui had already complained about Wang Yue's cold skin twice tonight. He couldn't afford to make the same mistake again.

"Harder!" Wang Yue begged instead. He knew it was a selfish request, but his brain-to-mouth filter had stopped functioning. Fortunately, Ling Rui fulfilled his wish, rocking his hips with more power, the bed creaking, and the frame knocking against the wall. For a short moment, Wang Yue wondered if they could fuck hard enough to break the bed. The thought aroused him, tremors of pleasure rattling through his body. "Harder!" he yelled, squeezing down on the throbbing cock. He relished the intense feeling, loving how the thick head of Ling Rui's erection split him open, rearranging his insides. Wang Yue rolled his eyes back, panting open-mouthed. The bed kept shaking, creaking, and rattling with every thrust.

Ling Rui was letting go for real, using Wang Yue to chase his most primal needs.

"You feel so good, Yue'er," Ling Rui purred. "So hot and tight." The praise caused Wang Yue to whine. Unrestrained, he rolled his hips to meet Ling Rui's thrusts while coaxing him into a quicker rhythm. Ling Rui looked beautiful with his disheveled hair and flushed face. His brows were slightly furrowed in concentration, his deep brown eyes looking right into Wang Yue's soul. 

It made Wang Yue feel vulnerable, and he couldn't withhold the broken whimper that escaped his throat as Ling Rui hit his prostate with more force than before. 

"Oh my god." A deep growl reverberated through Ling Rui's chest. "Those sounds you make!" He licked his lips, making them shiny and glistening. "So good."

There was something feral in Ling Rui's eyes as he fucked Wang Yue with a frantic pace, causing him to thrash his head left and right, an endless stream of moans and whines falling from his lips now that he had realized that Ling Rui seemed to enjoy hearing him. With his leg still wrapped around Ling Rui, Wang Yue felt Ling Rui's strong back muscles tensing with every thrust. Ling Rui's fingers possessively dug into the skin of Wang Yue's thigh, clinging to it like a lifeline. Turning his head, Ling Rui mindlessly peppered wet kisses on Wang Yue's knee, his breath hot and damp against Wang Yue's cold skin. His hips never stopped rocking, relentlessly snapping back and forth, making Wang Yue's body and the bed shake nonstop. 

They had fucked vigorously before, but Ling Rui had never been this wild and unrestrained. Wang Yue wasn't used to being on the receiving end of such powerful feelings, setting his nerves ablaze. He lost his grip on reality as he rolled his eyes back, moaning and screaming as he felt the pleasure building up inside his body, strong enough to drown out the annoying voice in his head. His throat felt raw as another hard thrust against his prostate coaxed a shattered cry to fall from his lips. He held onto the pillow for dear life, a series of invisible sparks igniting throughout his body, causing the heat to pool in his dick and—

"Di, what happened?"

Wang Yue ripped his eyes open in shock, his gaze snapping to the side.

"Di, you screamed! Is Da-ge hurting— Did he hurt you?" Wang Chao asked, nodding towards Ling Rui. Ling Rui looked mortified — pale and unmoving as he stared at Wang Chao with wide eyes and parted lips.

Wang Chao was hugging his brown teddy bear, standing barefoot on the cold floor, but there was strength shimmering in his sleepy eyes. In every other situation, Wang Yue would appreciate how caring and protective his big brother was, but right now, he could only see red.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Wang Yue yelled. Without thinking, he threw his pillow at his brother. 

Flinching, Wang Chao raised an arm and took a step back. He looked scared.

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed reprimandingly, his cock slipping out of Wang Yue. 

"No!" Panic-fuelled, Wang Yue grabbed Ling Rui's wrist, trying to pull him closer again. They couldn't stop now! Ling Rui had never enjoyed himself so much during sex before — they had to keep going! But Ling Rui only angrily yanked his hand free and frantically reached for the blanket to throw it over Wang Yue's exposed groin. 

"Are you fighting?" Wang Chao asked, and Wang Yue growled with rage.

"We're fine!" Wang Yue exclaimed, glaring at his brother. This couldn't be happening. Not today, not now. "Go back to sleep already!" Sitting up, Wang Yue groped Ling Rui's thigh, knowing this sensitive spot never failed to get him into the mood. "Rui-ge, please! Don't stop! You can still fuck me! We can—" 

"Are you out of your mind?!" Ling Rui hissed, slapping Wang Yue's hand away. The rejection hurt more than the stinging physical pain. Grabbing the first piece of clothing he found, Ling Rui slipped into Wang Yue's boxers and got out of bed. "Cool down, will you?!" He threw a stern gaze at Wang Yue, who was too shocked to move even a single muscle. A second later, Ling Rui smiled patiently at Wang Chao. "It's the middle of the night. Let's get you back to bed, alright?"

Hesitantly, Wang Chao looked at Wang Yue before turning his attention towards Ling Rui. He nodded. "Good night, Di!" Wang Chao exclaimed, peeking over Ling Rui's shoulder.

Wang Yue failed to reply. 

Ling Rui led Wang Chao back into the main room where his bed stood, closing the big double door behind him, leaving Wang Yue alone with his thoughts.

The silence of the night crashed down on Wang Yue, and his breathing stuttered as he swallowed a lump of emotions that had threatened to crawl up his throat. Trembling, he flopped back down, his head hitting the mattress, reminding him of the pillow he had thrown after his brother. Shit. Why had he done that? Wang Yue had promised himself to treat his brother better and never scold him without reason again. It wasn't Wang Chao's fault that Wang Yue had lost control and gotten too loud in his attempt to please Ling Rui. Ling Rui had been loud, too, but it had still been Wang Yue's fault. He had been greedy and asked for more. He had failed to remember how thin the walls of his flat were. He hadn't been able to hold his voice back, causing his brother to worry. 

He was messing up his new relationship just like his last one.

It wouldn't take much longer until Ling Rui would be fed up with Wang Yue first and Wang Chao next. It wouldn't take much longer until Ling Rui forced Wang Yue to choose between him and his brother. It wouldn't take much longer until Ling Rui stared at Wang Yue with nothing but disappointment in his eyes. 

Wang Yue knew Ling Rui was more patient than his ex-girlfriend, but that didn't mean his patience was endless. It had been neither Meilin's nor Wang Chao's fault that their relationship hadn't worked out. It had been Wang Yue's fault. And if things wouldn't work out with Ling Rui, it would be Wang Yue's fault again.

Biting back a sob, Wang Yue turned around to lie on his side, curling up like a little child. The blanket slipped from his hip, and his whole body shuddered. It was so unbearably cold without Ling Rui. The arousal had left Wang Yue's body, his sweat cool against his skin. He shivered but didn't dare to reach for his blanket. Ling Rui had told him to cool down. And Wang Yue really had to cool down. His temper had been too heated. He shouldn't have yelled at his brother. But he had been so lost in his desire that he—

"Fuck." 

Wang Yue pulled on his hair as he realized his mistake, the stinging pain feeling weirdly dulled. 

He had gotten lost in pleasure. 

That had been a mistake. He shouldn't have done that. They hadn't fucked for Wang Yue to lose his mind and scream. They had fucked for Ling Rui to relax and let loose. Ling Rui had been so stressed that he had gone out of his way to stay up late and ask to fuck Wang Yue — for stress relief. Wang Yue was his boyfriend. It was his duty to be here for Ling Rui and fulfill his needs. Ling Rui rarely demanded anything, but now that he had asked for something for once, Wang Yue had messed up. Ling Rui hadn't come. Ling Rui wasn't relaxed — he was shocked and mortified, embarrassed that Wang Chao had walked in on them, and on top of it, he was disappointed in Wang Yue's reaction. Wang Yue hadn't only failed to give Ling Rui the comfort he deserved, he had even increased his tension.

It wouldn't take much longer until Ling Rui realized that being with Wang Yue was more exhausting than relaxing. He would realize that all the baggage Wang Yue carried was too heavy to be shared. He would realize that being with Wang Yue wasn't worth the struggle. Wang Yue wasn't worth it. Wang Yue wasn't worth anything. 

A choked-up sob slipped from Wang Yue's lips, but he immediately fought it back. Pulling harder on his hair and digging the fingernails of his other hand into his upper arm, Wang Yue tried to focus on the sharp pain. It helped him to stay in reality. His breathing stuttered, his lungs burning. Had he held his breath until now? This wouldn't do. He couldn't afford to get a panic attack now. He couldn't risk messing this up even further. 

He forced himself to breathe, even though it hurt. 

As the air filled his lungs, the sensation of his body slowly returned. He was cold and shivering. His ass was sore. There were scraps of skin and blood under his fingernails. Shit. He must have clutched his arm too tightly, subconsciously scratching it. Only after this realization did he feel the stinging pain. 

He took another breath.

Ling Rui would be disappointed that Wang Yue had hurt himself, even though it had been accidentally. 

He took another breath.

Sitting up, Wang Yue ignored his dizziness and searched for his shirt. Quickly, he put it on, hiding the incriminating red skin on his upper arm. His body refused to stop trembling.

He took another breath.

He had messed up big time, but whining wouldn't help. He needed to do some damage control. Once his brother was asleep, they could try again. Wang Yue's ass was sore, but it didn't matter. He would seduce Ling Rui again, ride him all night long if he had to, doing everything to help Ling Rui relax and make him come. Yes, Wang Yue could do this! He could be a good boyfriend. He would prove it to Ling Rui.

As if on cue, the door quietly opened, and Ling Rui returned, dragging his feet. He looked exhausted — his shoulders slumped and big, dark circles under his eyes. Had those been there before? Sighing, Ling Rui leaned his back against the door. He closed his eyes and took some deep breaths. 

The air felt tense.

"Rui-ge?" Wang Yue carefully called out.

With another weary sigh, Ling Rui opened his eyes. "He fell asleep again."

"Good." Warily, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. Why was Ling Rui still standing at the door? "Come back to bed?" he asked hesitantly, patting the mattress.

Ling Rui shook his head, and Wang Yue held his breath. Was Ling Rui already fed up with him? Was he considering to break up with him?

"It's late," Ling Rui said. "I've gotta go home."

"Stay the night?" Wang Yue asked nonetheless, his heart beating faster as panic boiled up inside him again. How was he supposed to make up for his mistake if Ling Rui went home? How was he supposed to save their relationship if they were apart?

"I promised my mother to accompany her to an appointment tomorrow morning before work. My alarm rings early."

"It's fine!" Wang Yue immediately exclaimed, scooting further up on the mattress to get even a few inches closer to Ling Rui, even though he was still way out of reach. But somehow, Wang Yue didn't dare to stand up and leave the bed. He didn't feel qualified to be at eye level with Ling Rui. "I don't care about sleep."

"But I do," Ling Rui replied, and Wang Yue's face fell.

Of course, Ling Rui cared about getting enough sleep. It wasn't anything new. Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui needed his sleep. He had even thought about it earlier tonight. Ling Rui was a doctor — a surgeon. He couldn't afford to be sleep-deprived and tired, his hands shaking when treating a patient and his mind too woozy to make cognitive decisions. He had to catch as much sleep as he could, and his own bed was more comfortable than Wang Yue's old worn-out mattress.

"You have to work late again tomorrow night," Ling Rui said suddenly, causing Wang Yue to furrow his brows in confusion. Weren't they talking about Ling Rui getting enough sleep? What did Wang Yue's work schedule have to do with that? "I don't want to wake you up unnecessarily early." Sighing, Ling Rui pushed himself off the door he had been leaning against. Walking across the room, he picked up his pants and went to the chair that carried his coat. 

"I don't mind!" Wang Yue blurted out, sitting up straighter, but Ling Rui's exasperated expression told him that it had been the wrong reply. Wang Yue slouched his shoulders and dropped his head. He looked at Ling Rui's feet, watching how he stepped out of Wang Yue's boxers to put on his white briefs before slipping back into his pants. If Ling Rui was only worried about Wang Yue's amount of sleep, there was no reason to stop. If Ling Rui could still afford to stay just a few minutes longer, Wang Yue might still be able to make up for his mistake. "What about a quickie?" Wang Yue asked, staring at a brown stain on his cheap linoleum floor. Somehow, he was too afraid to meet Ling Rui's eyes, knowing deep down that he would be met by an aghast expression. "I'm still wet enough," he suddenly started babbling. "It won't take long! You can just grab my hips and fuck me—" 

"Xiao Yue."

"—or I'll ride you or—"

"Xiao Yue."

"I can blow you!" Wang Yue offered desperately, squeezing his thighs to stop his hands from trembling. "You came here for sex, didn't you? I'm sorry that my stupid brother interrupted—"

"Wang Yue!"

The use of his full name caused Wang Yue to pause, his lips still parted. 

"Since when are you talking about your brother like that?"

Wang Yue didn't dare to lift his head. He had already heard the judgment and disappointment in Ling Rui's voice. He couldn't bear to see it, too. Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip, his fingers digging into the skin of his thighs. It hurt. But he deserved even worse than this little bit of pain. He was such an idiot.

"I'm sorry," Wang Yue said. "I didn't mean it."

"Tell him that tomorrow."

Wang Yue winced. "I will." He would. He loved his brother. He was his only family. But tonight had been—

He gasped as memories of the past came to haunt him — all the times Wang Chao had interrupted him and Meilin, slowly causing them to drift apart as they grew more and more sexually frustrated every time. This couldn't happen again. Wang Yue would regret it his whole life if he messed up his relationship with Ling Rui.

"What about a quick handjob?" Wang Yue asked without thinking. Hopefully, he raised his head to glimpse at Ling Rui, but his facial features dropped as he saw the utter look of disbelief on Ling Rui's face. Ling Rui stared at him as if he were a stranger. Wang Yue had screwed up again. No matter what he said or did, he always made things worse. "Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, not even knowing what he apologized for — maybe for being him. Wang Yue knew he wasn't pleasant company. He really didn't know why Ling Rui even bothered being with him. It couldn't be for the sex because Wang Yue messed even that up now — the one thing he had been acceptable at.

"I—" Ling Rui said but paused, too shocked to continue. Taking a deep breath, he put on his shoes, and Wang Yue silently watched how his long, elegant fingers skillfully tied his shoelaces. "I won't judge you for your libido," Ling Rui said after leaning up again. "But I'm really not in the mood anymore after this. I'm sorry, Xiao Yue." He picked up his coat. "I'm tired."

"Oh." Of course. How could Wang Yue expect Ling Rui to still be in the mood after getting interrupted at the best part? It had been the same with Meilin all the time. Maybe Wang Yue was the odd one for wanting to continue after this. Right now, he wasn't in the mood either and only wanted to please Ling Rui, but Wang Yue couldn't deny that he had honestly wanted to continue more than once after his brother had interrupted him and Meilin. Wang Yue was always too greedy, selfishly craving physical pleasure, no matter the circumstances. "Sorry," he mumbled, lowering his head.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, Ling Rui stepped closer, his heavy boots thumping with every step. 

"Uh." Awkwardly, Ling Rui cleared his throat. "Do you want me to give you a hand, or—"

"No!" Wang Yue exclaimed. If Ling Rui wasn't in the mood, what was the point?

"Another time then," Ling Rui whispered, and a part of Wang Yue wanted to believe that it sounded like a promise. "It's late." Ling Rui cupped Wang Yue's cheek, forcing him to look up at him. "You should get some sleep." The smile on Ling Rui's lips looked forced, but Wang Yue didn't flinch away when Ling Rui leaned down to give him a quick kiss. "Sweet dreams. I'll text you tomorrow." He stroked Wang Yue's cheek before pulling his warm hand back. "Good night, Xiao Yue."

"Night." Wang Yue needed all his willpower to force the words past his quivering lips. "Get home safely," he managed to add before Ling Rui slipped out of the flat, quietly closing the door behind him.

Wang Yue stared at it for a long time, the buzzing of his old floor lamp's light bulb feeling louder than usual. He should turn it off to save energy and money, but Wang Yue couldn't move. He was too exhausted — too tired of it all. These last few weeks felt like watching his relationship slowly fall apart. Every day, another part of it crumbled down. Every day, Wang Yue messed up again. Every day, Ling Rui was drifting further away. 

And one day, Wang Yue would be left alone. 

Forlorn and hopeless, forsaken in his cold flat — like now.

 

Notes:

I've always wanted to write about them getting interrupted by Wang Chao.

Wang Yue needs a hug.

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Chapter 2: Change of plan (Friday, March 26th)

Summary:

Wang Yue can't meet Ling Rui in person, but they can call instead. It should be better than nothing, right?

Notes:

Oh hey, another prologue chapter!

7,7k words

Several days had passed since that horrible night that still filled Wang Yue with anxiety whenever he remembered it. He hadn't been able to meet Ling Rui since then because they had both been busy with work. Friday had been Wang Yue's beacon of hope, but Wang Chao had woken up with a cold this morning, forcing Wang Yue to cancel work and his late-night date with Ling Rui. He felt like a bad boyfriend. But allowing Ling Rui to visit him and risk getting infected seemed even worse.

Lamenting his fate, Wang Yue sat on the edge of Wang Chao's bed, the lights turned off. It had taken forever until his brother had finally stopped complaining about his runny nose and had fallen asleep. Just as Wang Yue was about to get up, his phone rang, and the noise caused Wang Chao to groan and stir again.

"Di?"

"Shh, keep sleeping," Wang Yue whispered, rubbing Wang Chao's shoulder. With his free hand, he quickly accepted the call to stop the loud ringtone. "Gimme a moment," he mumbled.

"I can call you later if it's inconvenient now," Ling Rui immediately offered on the other side of the line.

"It's fine."

"Di," Wang Chao complained, dragging out the name. "My nose!"

"Shh." Wang Yue grabbed a tissue and wiped some snot away. Afterwards, he soothingly brushed the bridge of Wang Chao's nose. "Go back to sleep." He repeated the movement, Wang Chao's eyelids getting heavier with every downward stroke.

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered.

Wang Yue wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault —after all, Wang Yue was the one who had forgotten to put his phone on silent— but he couldn't talk right now without risking waking up Wang Chao again. Quietly, Wang Yue continued to stroke his brother's nose until he finally kept his eyes closed, his breathing evening out.

A relieved sigh slipped from Wang Yue's lips. He waited another moment to make sure Wang Chao had fallen asleep before he stood up, moving slowly so the mattress wouldn't shake too much. Quietly, he padded through the dark room. It was a rainy day, the clouds blocking out the moonlight. Wang Yue couldn't see a thing, but if he turned on the lights, he would only risk waking his brother. It was fine. He knew the layout of his small flat well enough to walk around without any light. Wang Yue hissed when he bumped his foot on something, accidentally kicking it and causing it to slither over the floor. Maybe he should have cleaned up. 

"Xiao Yue? Are you alright?"

Gritting his teeth, he hummed quietly and continued on his way, ignoring the pulsing pain in his toe. He reached the heating and turned it further up. It was probably his fault that his brother had caught a cold. Wang Yue had heated Wang Chao's room, but not that much during the nights. He regretted risking his brother's health in his attempt to save money.

After pressing his hand against the heating to verify that it was working properly, Wang Yue returned to his room and closed the door behind him. A shudder rushed down his back when he was hit by the cold of his unheated room. He turned on the old floor lamp so he could at least see something.

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized. "We can talk now."

"It's alright," Ling Rui replied. "I'm sorry for calling at the wrong moment. I should have texted you first. Did you get hurt just now?"

"It's fine. Just bumped my toe in the dark." Wang Yue flopped down on his bed, the bed frame creaking. "Don't worry," he said because he knew how Ling Rui could be. "Only hurt for a moment." It wasn't a total lie. His toe still throbbed but didn't hurt as much as it had after the impact.

"I know you're probably not turning on any light to avoid waking your brother but be careful."

"Yeah, I know." Wang Yue stared at his feet. His black socks looked washed out and dark gray, a hole on the left side of one of them, the white sock he was wearing underneath peeking through. "Just bumped against some stuff lying on the floor." He didn't even know what it had been. Maybe a book.

"Oh."

Ling Rui went silent, and Wang Yue immediately regretted his words. He shouldn't have told Ling Rui about his untidiness. Wang Yue's eyes fell on the floor of this room, covered in toys and clothes. Sometimes, he wondered why this always happened so quickly. He could have sworn he had just cleaned up yesterday — or maybe it had been the day before yesterday or about a week ago. Time passed too quickly to keep track.

"What did you want to talk about?" Wang Yue asked as he got up from the bed. "I can listen while cleaning up." He wasn't in the mood to tidy up, but Ling Rui would want him to, wouldn't he? Ling Rui always liked it neat and clean. 

"Oh, I don't want to bother you when you're still busy."

"You're not bothering me," Wang Yue reassured him. "You never do." How could Ling Rui even think something like this? No one could ever be bothered by him. Ling Rui's presence was a blessing — even if only through the phone and not in person.

"Alright," Ling Rui said. It sounded like he was smiling. That was good. Wang Yue always wanted him to smile. "How's Wang Chao feeling?"

"He's whining a lot about his runny nose and has a slight fever. But he's gonna be fine."

"I hope he'll recover quickly."

Wang Yue hummed in confirmation while trying to make sense of the chaos. Maybe he should first make a pile with dirty clothes and another pile with toys. He got lost in his task, detangling sleeves and pants legs that covered building bricks.

After throwing the third shirt in the general direction of his bathroom door, Wang Yue paused. Why was it so quiet? 

"Are you at home?"

"Yes, finally." Ling Rui groaned. "I was at the hospital for twelve hours today. I went in early to do some paperwork and had to stay late because of an emergency." 

"That's too much," Wang Yue replied. It was painful to witness how Ling Rui worked his fingers to the bone lately.

"I know." Ling Rui sighed. "But it can't be helped."

"Can you rest now?"

"Yes. I took a quick shower after work and ate some leftovers before going to my room to call you. I won't do anything else today."

It was rare for Ling Rui to eat without his family, but they probably had eaten dinner earlier when he had still been at work. Wang Yue picked up another building brick after almost stepping on it and wondered again why Ling Rui didn't keep talking.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you call?"

"Oh, uh—" Ling Rui sounded as if he sheepishly scratched his cheek. "The romantic answer would be that I missed your voice —which I did, but—" 

"But?" Wang Yue asked, trying to suppress the anxiety that crept up his throat.

Ling Rui sighed. "I just wanted to vent, honestly."

"That's okay." Wang Yue forced himself to sound supportive, ignoring the treacherous part of his feelings that felt disappointed that Ling Rui hadn't called because he missed him. But if he needed to rant, Wang Yue would listen. Maybe it was a chance to prove that he wasn't an utterly useless boyfriend but could be reliable sometimes — or at least appear to be. "Just spill it." When Ling Rui still seemed to hesitate, Wang Yue added, "Did something happen at work?"

The drawn-out, displeased groan that followed told Wang Yue more than a million words. 

"There's just so much to do, and so many colleagues are sick. I don't know how long I can keep up with this." Ling Rui sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't complain."

"Why not?" Wang Yue asked. It was rare that Ling Rui needed to vent, but it honored Wang Yue that Ling Rui revealed this side of himself. Or was it just a coincidence that Ling Rui had called him to vent? Maybe Wang Yue hadn't been his first choice. Perhaps Ling Rui didn't want to bother his family and friends with this.

"I love my job," Ling Rui explained. "I always wanted to be a doctor and help people, and that's what I'm doing, but—" A strained whine escaped his throat. "I can't keep up."

"You can't help everyone at once," Wang Yue said while picking up Wang Chao's toy cars. "Even a doctor needs a break from time to time."

Ling Rui exhaled loudly. "I know. But I still feel like I should do more. So many people are counting on me, waiting for surgery, and Peng Bo and I are trying to fill in for Doctor Yang and Doctor Wu while they are sick, but we can't take over all their appointments."

"Are you doing your best?"

"Of course."

"Perfect."

"What?"

"What else do you expect from yourself?" Wang Yue asked as he finally spotted the big, old cardboard box where he stored Wang Chao's toys. He put the cars and the building bricks inside. "You can't do more than your best. It's enough. Yours isn't a job where you can overdo it and risk making mistakes — people's lives are on the line."

"You're right," Ling Rui whispered. He didn't sound convinced.

"But?" Wang Yue prompted, frowning when he found a single blue sock. Where was the other one?

"Sometimes, my best doesn't feel good enough."

"Oh," Wang Yue whispered empathetically. He knew that feeling well. He always felt like that. But Ling Rui really didn't have any reason to think like that. "Doctor Ling," Wang Yue said with a strict voice.

"Yes?" 

"You're doing enough."

It took a moment before Ling Rui spoke up again, and Wang Yue was almost afraid to have said something wrong. Who was he to judge what was enough and what wasn't?

"Alright," Ling Rui eventually replied. "I'll believe you."

A weird feeling bubbled up inside Wang Yue's chest. It was warm and tingling. Ling Rui believed him. And he sounded relieved. Had Wang Yue finally done something right and helped to ease Ling Rui's worries? He almost couldn't believe it. 

Wang Yue felt proud.

"Nurse Jiang said the same."

"What?"

"She's really great at being my mental support at work whenever Peng Bo is busy. Sometimes, she's overdoing it with the praise, but I know it's sincere." Ling Rui's voice sounded as if he were smiling. "She also told me that I can't do more than my best and that it's more than enough."

Wang Yue felt sick.

"She's always offering her help," Ling Rui explained. "Having her as a colleague really makes my life easier."

Wang Yue barely managed to refrain from asking if having her as a girlfriend would make his life easier, too. With trembling hands, he reached for Wang Chao's picture book. Maybe Wang Yue was overthinking. Ling Rui thought he was gay, but who knew whether or not he was right? Half a year ago, he'd still thought he was straight. Perhaps he still hadn't figured out for real where his interest lay. Moreover, Ling Rui could be rather oblivious to other people flirting with him. The moment he found out, it might already be too late. Wang Yue shook his head. He shouldn't make assumptions about other people. Maybe this nurse really wasn't anything but a reliable colleague like Peng Bo. Wang Yue should be happy Ling Rui got that much support at work. He shouldn't think that—

"Ma thinks we broke up."

"What?" The book Wang Yue had picked up slipped through his fingers, landing on the floor with a heavy thump. Cold sweat appeared on Wang Yue's forehead. Where was this topic coming from all of a sudden? Was that Ling Rui's way of telling him he wanted to date Nurse Jiang instead of him? 

"Since she hasn't seen you in so long," Ling Rui continued to speak without pause, utterly unaware of Wang Yue's thoughts. "She thinks I'm working overtime to get over our breakup."

Did Ling Rui want to break up? Was he working overtime to spend more time with Nurse Jiang? Wang Yue held his breath. He had known that this moment would come eventually but hadn't expected it to happen so soon — especially not via phone. Was it because he had failed to make Ling Rui come last time? Maybe Ling Rui had finally realized what an unreliable loser Wang Yue was — he couldn't even satisfy his boyfriend fast enough before getting interrupted! 

"Xiao Yue? Are you still there?"

"Are you— Are you breaking up with me?" The words had fallen from Wang Yue's lips before he even realized it. 

"What?" Ling Rui exclaimed. "No! Yue'er, no. No, I'm not breaking up with you!"

Wang Yue tried to inhale, but his lungs refused to function. How did one breathe again? He had forgotten. Usually, his body breathed on its own, but now that Wang Yue wondered how it was supposed to work, it didn't work. He trembled, his hand clutching the phone tightly.

"Yue'er, are you okay?" Ling Rui sounded genuinely worried, his voice louder as if he was pressing the phone closer to his face. Wang Yue loved Ling Rui's voice, even though he disliked that agitated tone. "Yue'er, calm down and breathe. Inhale first, and then exhale." 

Ah. Right. That was how it was supposed to be. "Okay," Wang Yue whispered, his mind swirling. Trembling, he flopped down on the floor as his knees gave in. The ground was hard and cold. Only when he heard his breathing stutter, did he realize he was breathing again. "Are you—" He gasped for air.

"We're not breaking up," Ling Rui said loud and clear. "I'm still your boyfriend. Please believe me."

The voice inside Wang Yue's head told him something else, but he had no reason to doubt Ling Rui. Ling Rui wouldn't lie to him. Ling Rui never lied to him. "Okay." He had to believe in Ling Rui's words. 

"We're not breaking up, Yue'er," Ling Rui repeated, and slowly Wang Yue started to believe it. "Say it with me."

"What?" This was ridiculous.

"We're not breaking up. Say it."

"We're not—" Wang Yue choked. Hearing it and saying it were two different things. Saying it out loud felt more real. Maybe that was why Ling Rui wanted him to do it. A soft gasp slipped from Wang Yue's lips. Ling Rui knew him so well. He knew how to reassure Wang Yue despite the obnoxious voice inside his head. "We're not breaking up."

"I'm still your boyfriend."

"You're—" Wang Yue took a deep breath, his lungs filling with air. "You're still my boyfriend," he whispered. It was still difficult to believe, even on his best days.

"That's right."

Wang Yue exhaled. He felt exhausted but better. Even if he had to part ways with Ling Rui one day after Ling Rui had found someone better, Wang Yue wasn't ready for it yet. He knew he was pushing his luck, holding onto something that would eventually break, but Wang Yue couldn't help but cling to this fragment of happiness. "Thanks, Rui-ge."

Ling Rui hummed in denial. "No need to thank me. Sorry for scaring you like that in the first place."

"It's not your fault." Wang Yue was the one who had misunderstood the situation. He tried to get up from the floor but had no strength in his legs. Maybe he would stay here for another moment and rest, even though the cold creeping up his limbs made him uncomfortable. "So your mum got the wrong idea?"

"Yes." Ling Rui sighed. "She doesn't believe me no matter what I say. I guess you really have to visit me again soon." Maybe it was Wang Yue's imagination, but Ling Rui sounded needy.

Wang Yue had spent some time at Ling Rui's home around New Year. His mother and aunts were really heartwarming people, welcoming him and his brother like their own sons, but Wang Yue had still felt like intruding on that perfect little family. Afterwards, he had only briefly seen Ling Rui's family once when picking him up at home on the weekend.

"If we have time," Wang Yue mumbled vaguely. He would prefer to meet Ling Rui alone, but that wasn't something he could admit out loud. If Ling Rui wanted him to meet his family again, Wang Yue wouldn't go against his wishes. 

"I know I've been too busy lately."

"I'm not blaming you," Wang Yue corrected before Ling Rui could get the wrong impression. He reached for the box of toys and pulled it closer to store the picture book inside. He still hadn't managed to stand up again.

"I know," Ling Rui replied. "Da-gu keeps lecturing me because I keep missing dinner. She says eating so much takeout isn't healthy, and that I should eat slowly and mindfully instead of gobbling everything down between appointments, and that I should spend more time with my family and you and—" Ling Rui groaned.

"Sounds hard." Ling Yunzhi was the older sister of Ling Rui's late father. Wang Yue hadn't talked to her much, but she had always had a very strict and intimidating aura. It scared him. He didn’t have much experience with strict relatives and didn't know how to act around her. He had often envied bigger families but knew everything had advantages and disadvantages. Gathering his strength, he finally stood up and pushed the box with the toys into a corner. 

"She's not wrong, though," Ling Rui admitted with a whisper.

"Yeah, but you know all that stuff," Wang Yue replied while gathering the remaining clothes. His feet were so cold, even though he wore two pairs of socks. The cold had crept up his legs, causing his calves and toes to feel numb. "Some things are just unavoidable when you have so much work."

Ling Rui hummed while Wang Yue went to the bathroom and stuffed the clothes into the washing machine. Hopefully, his neighbors wouldn't complain. It was only around 8 o'clock, but some of them could be rather sensitive to noise, and the building wasn't really soundproof. He clicked his tongue. Living here was uncomfortable, but it wasn't like he had done anything to deserve better. He should be grateful he could afford a place to live at all.

"Even Xiao-gu dares to nag at me lately."

"What?" Wang Yue paused when he heard that. Ling Yazhi was the younger sister of Ling Rui's late father. From what Wang Yue knew, Ling Yazhi could be a bit mischievous, but usually, she didn't tease Ling Rui or at least didn't go very far with it. Wang Yue closed the door of the washing machine, ignoring that he had never found that missing blue sock. He could always wash it another day.

"She says I've gotten boring and should live more." Judging by the tone of Ling Rui's voice, he must be rolling his eyes.  

"How are you supposed to do that when you've gotta work all day?" Wang Yue asked, even though he knew that having such a poor boyfriend didn't help either. 

Sometimes, Wang Yue wondered if Ling Rui held back and passed on doing some things because he knew they would be too expensive for Wang Yue. Who knew? Maybe Ling Rui wanted to eat at fancy restaurants, visit a museum, or make a weekend trip. All things Wang Yue couldn't afford — he couldn't even afford a coat rack! And since Wang Yue didn't want Ling Rui to pay for him, inviting him wasn't an option either. Was Wang Yue too complicated as a boyfriend? Was that the true reason they barely met anymore? Because they couldn't go on dates together anyway, and Ling Rui was sick and tired of taking walks all the time? Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip, pressing down harder until it hurt. Ling Rui really would do better with someone else. 

"Shit," Wang Yue mumbled as he spotted the almost empty box of laundry detergent.

"What's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing," Wang Yue replied before explaining it anyway. "Just realized I'm almost out of laundry detergent." Great. That additional financial burden was just what he needed!

"Oh. Then it's time to restock."

"Yeah, next week after I've gotten paid," Wang Yue mumbled. 

For a moment, Ling Rui was silent. "You can't afford it now?" he asked eventually, carefully.

"Not really," Wang Yue admitted, pouring the remaining laundry detergent into his washing machine. Even though he always used less detergent than the instructions said, there was nothing left anymore now. He should stop wearing two pairs of socks starting tomorrow so there were enough clean socks left for his brother. "Don't know if you knew, Doctor Ling, but cold medicine isn't exactly cheap."

"Xiao Yue, you know that if you—"

"No," Wang Yue interrupted before Ling Rui even had a chance to offer to lend him money or —even worse— to buy stuff for him.

Awkwardly, Ling Rui cleared his throat. "If you want to do something else for Wang Chao's health, I can recommend home-cooked chicken soup." It wasn't what Ling Rui originally had intended to offer, and they both knew it. But Wang Yue appreciated the change of topic for what it was. "Did you ever make some?"

"Not really," Wang Yue mumbled while selecting the wash cycle and starting the machine. Let his neighbors complain. He didn't care. They found something to gripe about all the time anyway, no matter what he did or not. He wouldn't be surprised if the old dude from downstairs complained about Wang Yue dropping that book earlier.

"I can make a big pot of soup!" Ling Rui suggested eagerly. "It's gonna be enough for both of you. It will help Wang Chao recover and you stay healthy."

Wang Yue clenched his fists. He wasn't stupid. This was just another way Ling Rui offered financial help. If he ever wanted to get paid for all the stuff he did for Wang Yue, Wang Yue would be in deep trouble. There was no way he could gather enough money to pay Ling Rui back for everything he had done for him already — especially all the food Ling Rui always shared with Wang Yue on days they actually had time to see each other. Wang Yue really shouldn't pile up more debts. But since this concerned Wang Chao's health, he couldn't outright deny it either. It felt wrong, no matter whether he accepted or declined the offer. It was driving him crazy. He didn't want to make this decision.

"Do you even have time to cook chicken soup?" Wang Yue asked as he walked back to his bed. "Doesn't it take forever? You've gotta work all day tomorrow, don't you?"

"I can manage somehow."

"You don't have to go out of your way because of this."

"I don't mind."

"You've got enough on your plate even without that."

"It's fine. You know I enjoy cooking. Please, Xiao Yue. Let me do this — for you and your brother."

Exhausted, Wang Yue flopped down on the bed, feet still on the ground. Ling Rui could be really stubborn sometimes. "You always do so much for me, and I can't even offer you a coat rack," Wang Yue mumbled, followed by a desperate huff. He felt pathetic.

"What?"

Shit. Had he said that out loud? "Forget it," Wang Yue murmured. 

"Please tell me you haven't thought about buying a coat rack only because of me."

"That's why I said, forget it."

"Xiao Yue." Wang Yue hated that reprimanding tone in Ling Rui's voice. "You don't have to buy a coat rack for me."

"Maybe I wanna hang up my jacket?" Wang Yue retorted, and even though he couldn't see Ling Rui, he could perfectly imagine his face, expressing very visibly that he didn't buy that nonsense. Groaning, Wang Yue gave up on pretending. "Your coat always wrinkles and touches the dirty floor when you hang it over one of my dusty chairs." 

"It's fine, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui replied. "Please don't even think about spending your money on something trivial like this."

"It's not trivial," Wang Yue retorted, pulling up his feet to hug his legs. He was cold. "Not for you."

"Xiao Yue." Ling Rui sounded exhausted. "Please spend your money to buy laundry detergent and food."

"I will," Wang Yue mumbled. "But if I have something left at the end of the month, I'll buy—"

"—a winter jacket and new gloves for you," Ling Rui said.

Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath. He never bought such things for himself. He only bought new clothes for his brother and wore his old ones. Fortunately, their sizes were similar enough. How was he supposed to buy something new for himself while Wang Chao still had to wear the same things? It wouldn't be fair. Wang Chao always deserved the best and only the best. If Wang Yue had some money left, he would use it for his brother. Furthermore, Wang Yue had managed to get through winter with only his denim jacket. It was spring now. There was no need to buy a winter jacket. 

"Winter is officially over, Doctor Ling," Wang Yue said playfully, even as he pulled up his blanket because it was too cold in his unheated room. Maybe he should sleep on the armchair in Wang Chao's room. It wouldn't be very comfortable for his back, but at least it was warm. "I can buy those things for my brother in late autumn and then use his old ones."

Ling Rui exhaled deeply, and it sounded like he was massaging his temples as he often did when getting a headache. 

Silence seemed to stretch on endlessly afterwards, and Wang Yue was afraid to have messed up the mood with his reply. 

"Did you eat three meals today?" Ling Rui asked eventually, and Wang Yue immediately flinched as the topic came up.

He hadn't. Even on good days, he often only ate twice to save money, and after buying Wang Chao's medicine today —not knowing if it would be sufficient or if he would need to get more during the next few days— Wang Yue had skipped lunch and dinner. He knew it wasn't healthy. He knew Ling Rui would be disappointed and worried. He knew he shouldn't neglect himself. 

But old habits died hard.

"I'm this close to coming to your place right now," Ling Rui hissed, sounding mad.

"Don't," Wang Yue rejected immediately, even though his heart longed to see Ling Rui and his body craved to touch him. "I don't know if I caught that cold, too, and I don't want you to catch it."

"I'm worried about you, Xiao Yue." Ling Rui groaned. "And I miss you," he whispered, all the anger vanishing from his voice as he sounded almost whiny. "We barely have time to see each other lately."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. It's not your fault."

"I canceled our plans today," Wang Yue said. If not for that, Ling Rui would have dropped by after Wang Yue's work shift, despite the late hour. It would have been the perfect chance to make up for their last meeting.

"Because your brother is sick, yes."

"I'm sorry," Wang Yue apologized again.

"It's not your fault."

It was his fault. Wang Yue hadn't cared about his brother well enough. He had tried to save too much money instead of heating Wang Chao's room properly. And now he had to spend extra money for medicine while losing money since he had to cancel tonight's and tomorrow's work shifts — and who knew if he could return to work after that. He couldn't leave Wang Chao alone if he was too sick to sleep through the night. Sometimes, Wang Yue hated that he only got paid for the hours he actually worked without having a fixed, regular monthly income. But there was nothing he could do about it. It was the only job he was qualified for. He should be grateful he even had a job and that his boss didn't fire him for canceling his work shift on such short notice.

"You think that it's your fault," Ling Rui deduced, once again way too perceptive. How did he know what Wang Yue was thinking? They weren't even in the same room, so it couldn't be that Ling Rui had seen it on Wang Yue's face. "Why do you think you're to blame?"

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue sighed. There wasn't any point in denying it when Ling Rui already knew that much. "It wasn't warm enough at home."

"Being cold alone doesn't make you sick, even though your body's defenses are weakened," Ling Rui explained, using that tone of voice he used when giving professional medical advice. Wang Yue usually didn't understand even half of it, but fortunately, Ling Rui spared him the technical jargon tonight. "What if Wang Chao got infected when you went grocery shopping? Or at the playground when playing with other children? You know kids always spread germs."

Wang Yue snorted. "You should know, Doctor Ling," he said half-mockingly.

"Yes, I do know," Ling Rui confirmed, his voice serious. "So listen to the doctor. And if you still believe it was only because of the cold, make sure you stay warm enough. I don't want you to get sick, too." Ling Rui paused for a moment, and Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. He knew Ling Rui only meant well, but Wang Yue couldn't afford to heat two rooms. But it didn't matter. Wang Yue never got sick anyway. 

"I'll be fine."

"Please be. It's already hard enough to be apart when I miss you so much, Yue'er. Making me worry about you on top of it will be too much," Ling Rui whispered, his voice so soft and intimate that Wang Yue's heart beat faster. 

The truth was that Wang Yue also almost couldn't bear being apart. If Wang Chao hadn't gotten sick, Wang Yue would be at work now, looking forward to meeting Ling Rui afterwards, hugging him, kissing him, and riding him to make up for his failure last time. Wang Yue wrapped his arms tighter around his legs. He wanted to be with Ling Rui. He always felt safe and warm in Ling Rui's embrace — not lonely and cold like now.

"Rui-ge," Wang Yue whined, the name slipping from his lips subconsciously.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered softly. It sounded more intimate than it should.

Wang Yue took a deep breath. He had messed up a lot lately, but maybe this was a chance to do some damage control. Even if they couldn't meet tonight, they could still talk. Wang Yue licked his lips, deciding to risk something. "How would you keep me warm?"

"What?"

"If you were here," Wang Yue whispered suggestively, his voice dropping an octave. "How would you warm me up, Doctor Ling?"

"Oh." Ling Rui paused. "Are you—" Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "Is this—" He sounded flustered.

"Yes, but forget it." Wang Yue snorted. It was cute how embarrassed Ling Rui was, but Wang Yue hadn't missed how uncomfortable he sounded. Wang Yue hadn't expected Ling Rui to play along in the first place. It was a miracle he had even picked up on Wang Yue's suggestive words.

"I would kiss you," Ling Rui suddenly said so quickly that Wang Yue only just managed to understand his words.

"Oh?" Wang Yue's ears perked up.

"Long and deep," Ling Rui added, speaking slower. "I would push my tongue into your mouth."

"Fuck." Wang Yue really hadn't expected that kind of dirty talk coming from Ling Rui. "I would reciprocate the kiss, swirl my tongue around yours, and eat up your sweet moans."

Ling Rui yelped, and Wang Yue regretted that he couldn't see Ling Rui's flushed face. 

Wang Yue groaned, unable to hold back his desires. "I wanna feel your hot mouth on me."

"I would kiss you—" Ling Rui paused as if his sentence wasn't complete.

Encouragingly, Wang Yue hummed.

"—everywhere," Ling Rui added with a whisper.

"Yeah?" Wang Yue was almost embarrassed by how breathless his voice already sounded. His hands and feet were still cold, but he could feel warmth spreading from his core, traveling towards his groin.

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed.

"Where would you start?" Wang Yue asked, tracing his lips with his cold fingertips. "After plundering my mouth."

"I would kiss your neck," Ling Rui whispered. "And your collar bones."

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue lay down and let his hand travel to the places Ling Rui mentioned, imagining it was Ling Rui's lips instead. Wang Yue's fingers were cold and his skin rough —nothing compared to Ling Rui's soft, hot lips— but there was nothing Wang Yue could do about it. He just needed to recall the last time Ling Rui had kissed him like that. 

"I would bury my hand in your hair," Wang Yue said, "and massage the nape of your neck."

Ling Rui whined.

"Do you like that?"

"Yes," Ling Rui whispered. "I like getting touched by you."

Wang Yue hummed. It felt good to hear. He really wished he could touch Ling Rui again soon. He missed him. And he still owed him for that debacle last time. 

"I also like touching you," Ling Rui added sheepishly. "I would—" he paused again, his breathing stuttering. Was he aroused? Fuck. Wang Yue wished Ling Rui would get aroused by this — by thinking about Wang Yue and by hearing his voice. "I would kiss your chest next."

Inhaling sharply, Wang Yue pushed a cold hand under his pullover, pressing his palm against his chest. "My whole chest or my nipples?"

Ling Rui whined, embarrassed, and the sound was like music to Wang Yue's ears. "You know the answer to that question," Ling Rui whispered almost too quietly to be heard. It was cute that he was too shy to say nipples. "I love touching them." Ling Rui's quick, deep breaths resonated through the phone. "You always get so aroused when I play with them. You're moaning, and your whole body twitches and—" Ling Rui whined hungrily. "Your reactions always arouse me."

"Really?" Wang Yue swallowed. He hadn't known he had such an effect on Ling Rui. He almost couldn't believe it. Wasn't Ling Rui mad when Wang Yue was so overcome by lust that he forgot to pleasure Ling Rui in the meantime?

"Are you—" Ling Rui took another deep breath. "Are you touching—"

Wang Yue pinched his nipple and gasped, pressing his mouth against the phone. Immediately, Ling Rui whimpered, his voice filling with longing.

"Yue'er." Ling Rui panted harshly. "Yue'er, let me hear you."

Wang Yue groaned. It was such a sweet plea, and he wouldn't ever dare to deny Ling Rui anything, but he couldn't risk getting loud and waking his brother again. He had to muffle his sounds. 

"I want to touch you, Yue'er."

"Next time," Wang Yue promised as he kept massaging his nipple, steadily rolling it between his forefinger and thumb. Sparks of pleasure ignited his skin, heating him up from the inside. He longed for more but didn't dare to lose himself in pleasure again. Instead, he kept torturing himself with a slow pace, squeezing his nipple hard enough to make himself pant from arousal but light enough to avoid losing his mind. Or maybe the sweet temptation did cause him to lose his mind. He groaned in desperation. He wanted to get fucked by Ling Rui — now.

"Yue'er, I—"

"Touch yourself," Wang Yue instructed. The arousal really was getting to his head. Otherwise, he wouldn't ever dare to order Ling Rui around. "Imagine I'm sucking you off, or you're fucking me, or whatever you want. I'd do anything for you. Anything."

"I want to take you." Ling Rui released a pent-up breath. "I want to make you feel good."

Ling Rui was drifting off again. He shouldn't bother about what felt good for Wang Yue. He should only think about himself now. "Do you feel good when you fuck me?"

"Yes." A drawn-out sigh fell from Ling Rui's lips. "Yes, of course. You know that."

Wang Yue should know it. But the voice inside his head often forced him to doubt it. "Then imagine that." Gulping, Wang Yue dared to let a hand travel to his dick. He would love nothing more than to finger himself, imagining getting fucked by Ling Rui, but lube was expensive, and Wang Yue didn't intend to waste it when on his own. It wasn't worth it. "Touch yourself and imagine you're fucking me, pushing your dick into my ass."

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed, and Wang Yue could only guess how red his face had to be, his cheeks and even the tips of his ears glowing. 

Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue imagined Ling Rui lying on his bed, masturbating. Were his eyes closed? Was his hair disheveled? Were his lips parted? Were his long, slender fingers wrapped around his dick, stroking it from base to tip? Wang Yue groaned. The thought was too arousing. Twisting his nipple a bit harder, he gasped, his hips bucking up into his hand. His phone was squished between his cheek and the pillow, his ear pressed against the speaker so he wouldn't miss even a single of Ling Rui's sounds. "Are you jerking off?"

A broken whimper drifted to Wang Yue's ear. 

"Fuck." Wang Yue felt the corner of his mouth twitching, and he almost smiled. "You're so hot." His cock throbbed against his palm. He spit into his hand, hoping to smooth his glide at least a bit. 

"Yue'er, I—" Ling Rui was almost too breathless to speak. He had to be even more aroused than Wang Yue thought. Were his brows furrowed in concentration as he chased his orgasm?

"Is your thick, hard cock leaking precum already?"

"Oh my god." Ling Rui yelped before his breathing stuttered. "How can you say such things without getting embarrassed?"

"Does it bother you?" Wang Yue asked, and his hands stopped moving.

Ling Rui whined. "Don't stop! Please, don't. I'm close. I need to hear your voice, Yue'er."

"Fuck!" Since when did Ling Rui beg like that? Ling Rui didn't ever need to beg for anything. Wang Yue would always fulfill his every wish. "If you were here right now, I would let you fuck me. I would get on all fours so you could grab my hips and fuck me as fast and hard as you like," Wang Yue said, and Ling Rui squeaked. "Or as slow as you like. I don't care. I love your dick, no matter what."

"Yue'er."

Hearing Ling Rui's breathy voice directly in his ear was almost too much for Wang Yue. His dick was pulsing and leaking precum, smoothing up his strokes. He squeezed his other nipple and curled his toes as the sweet mix of pleasure and pain shot right into his pulsing dick. "Or I could ride you," Wang Yue suggested. His hole clenched down on nothing, begging to get filled. "You wouldn't have to do anything, just lie down and let me take care of you. I want to make you feel good, Rui-ge."

"Yue'er, I'm so close. I—"

"Son, will you be home for dinner tomorrow?"

"Ma!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his voice so loud and high-pitched that it hurt Wang Yue's ear. But the shock of suddenly hearing Ling Zhu's voice was more intense.

"Why are you all wrapped up in your blanket? Isn't that too hot? Look at you. Your face is all red."

"Ma, get out!" Ling Rui exclaimed, panicky. "How often have I told you to knock before coming inside?"

"Oh, please. Can't a mother come to her son's room?"

"I just want some privacy!"

"What privacy?" Ling Zhu asked. "Just lock your door if you need privacy! What are you doing anyway? There's no need to hide anything from your mother! We can always talk about everything. Your mother loves and supports you, no matter what. No need to keep secrets."

"Ma!" Ling Rui clicked his tongue, exasperated. "I just wanna talk to Xiao Yue in private!"

"Oh?" The tone of Ling Zhu's voice went up. "Are you really on the phone with him? You haven't broken up?"

"Ma," Ling Rui said for the umpteenth time. He sounded exhausted. "We haven't broken up! And I won't be home for dinner tomorrow. I've gotta work overtime. Can you please leave now?" It was obvious from the tone of his voice that he forced himself to sound polite.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" She sounded skeptical. "Are you really talking to Xiao Yue?"

"Ma, what are you—"

"Let me talk to him." Ling Zhu's voice sounded closer than before. "I miss him."

"Ma, you can't just—"

"Don't make such a fuss!"

Wang Yue heard some shuffling before Ling Zhu's voice suddenly was loud and clear. 

"Xiao Yue?"

"Uh, hi," Wang Yue replied awkwardly. His boner had long died down —his hands resting on the blanket— but it still felt weird to talk to Ling Rui's mother mere seconds after attempting to jerk off. 

"Xiao Yue! I'm so happy to hear your voice," Ling Zhu said, her voice filled with excitement. "It's been way too long! When will you visit us again?"

"Ma, stop bothering him!" Ling Rui exclaimed in the background. "Give me back my phone!"

"Would you stop complaining?" Ling Zhu hissed, her voice muffled as if she had put a hand over the speaker. "Why are you in such a bad mood lately?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Ling Rui groaned. "Work is stressful, alright?"

"Oh, my poor boy." Ling Zhu sounded genuinely worried. "You should try to finish on time tomorrow and come home for dinner. I will cook your favorite." The next moment, her voice was louder again. "You should come, too, Xiao Yue!"

"Oh, uh." Wang Yue awkwardly cleared his throat. "Sorry. My brother caught a cold. We've gotta stay home."

"Oh no! The poor boy is sick?" She exclaimed. "That's not good. Did you give him some soup and vegetables today? Now I really think you two should come over for dinner tomorrow."

Wang Yue gritted his teeth, knowing she didn't hit his sore point on purpose. He knew he wasn't the best cook and couldn't afford the best ingredients. But Wang Chao had eaten some soft bread and rice congee today and had taken his medicine. That should be enough, right? He had refused to eat when Wang Yue had offered him more.

"Thank you, but I don't want you to get sick, too," Wang Yue declined politely. "And my brother needs to rest."

"You know what?" Ling Rui suddenly said, and Ling Zhu's startled sound in the background told Wang Yue that he had snatched his phone back. "I'll go grocery shopping now and cook some chicken soup."

"Oh, that's a great idea!" Ling Zhu exclaimed.

"I'll stop by at your place before work tomorrow morning, alright, Xiao Yue?"

"You don't have to go out of your way to—"

"I'm sorry, Xiao Yue, but I insist," Ling Rui said. His voice was tense. "I'm worried about you and your brother, and I've gotta do some cooking for stress relief. I need this now. We'll talk tomorrow. I know you don't want help and are worried about me catching Wang Chao's cold, so I'll just leave the pot on your doorstep. It's your decision what to do with it then. Have a good night." 

Before Wang Yue even got a chance to reply, Ling Rui had already hung up the phone.

Sighing, he closed his eyes. Had that really just happened? His phone buzzed with an incoming message.

LR [8:17 pm]:
I'm sorry.

LR [8:18 pm]:
I'm sorry she interrupted us. And I'm sorry I ended the call so suddenly, but I need some space now. I'll go grocery shopping to get out of here for a moment.

WY [8:18 pm]:
It's fine.

WY [8:19 pm]:
Be careful.

LR [8:19 pm]:
I will. I'll text you tomorrow morning.

WY [8:19 pm]:
Okay. Get some rest soon.

Wang Yue kept staring at his phone for a while but didn't receive any new messages. He felt like a failure. Ling Rui was so stressed and had called Wang Yue to rant and get some relief, but Wang Yue had made him even more physically pent up now. Once again, he had failed to make Ling Rui come, leaving him sexually frustrated. And once again, Wang Yue only blamed himself. He needed to work on his skills and make Ling Rui come faster before anyone had the chance to interrupt them. Or maybe he shouldn't even have tried to have phone sex in the first place. He knew Ling Rui was living with his family. What had he been thinking? Wang Yue huffed. He hadn't been thinking — as so often. That was always the problem. Wang Yue was too stupid to make the right decisions. 

Groaning, he turned around in bed and pulled the blanket up higher. His dick wasn't erect anymore, but somehow, his body still craved an orgasm. He was pathetic. How could he still be horny after everything that had happened? Wang Yue could jerk off on his own now, but it didn't feel right. Ling Rui didn't have any chance to do it now, so why should Wang Yue deserve to do it? Wang Yue didn't even remember the last time he had come. It had been so long since he and Ling Rui had been undisturbed. 

Wang Yue shivered. It was cold. He missed Ling Rui.

He missed being happy.

 

Notes:

Wang Yue needs a hug — again.

I also need a hug. I'm hurting myself with this fic.

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Chapter 3: Damage (Monday, March 29th)

Summary:

Wang Yue is at work when he receives a call that's gonna change his life more than expected.

Notes:

Let the drama begin!

5,2k words

Three days later, Wang Chao hadn't fully recovered but was at least healthy enough to be left alone at night while Wang Yue went to work. Wang Yue still felt guilty about leaving his brother's side when he didn't feel well, but he desperately needed the money, and as long as Wang Chao slept, it shouldn't matter where Wang Yue was, should it?

The pot of chicken soup that Ling Rui had brought over had served as their lunch three times. At first, Wang Yue had intended to leave it all for Wang Chao, but Ling Rui had kept texting him, asking about the taste and reminding him daily to eat it all up before it could go bad, so Wang Yue hadn't had much of a choice other than to eat it together with his brother. It had been the only thing Wang Yue had eaten since his interrupted phone sex with Ling Rui. He just couldn't stomach anything else, feeling nauseous and unworthy of food whenever he looked at it. He didn't deserve Ling Rui's homemade, lovely chicken soup either, but refusing to eat it would be too impolite.

That fateful night had been the last time Wang Yue had heard Ling Rui's voice. Work at the hospital had gotten even busier these days, and Ling Rui seemed to do nothing but work and maybe catch a few hours of sleep. He barely had time to text Wang Yue, much less call. He had even spent a night at the hospital, too tired to drive home. 

Today, Peng Bo had texted Wang Yue, telling him that he had forced Ling Rui to go home in the early afternoon because he was too exhausted to work. Wang Yue had hoped they could meet for an hour or two before he had to go to work, but Ling Rui hadn't messaged him anymore after saying he would take a short nap. Wang Yue told himself that Ling Rui wasn’t  ignoring him because he wasn't in the mood to see him, but was only catching up on sleep, accidentally napping longer than intended. But in the back-most corner of his brain, he couldn't stop wondering if Ling Rui was losing interest in him. Maybe spending so much time with Nurse Jiang at the hospital had finally caused Ling Rui to fall for her. 

Wang Yue was in the middle of a delivery when his phone rang. He immediately got a bad feeling. Ling Rui never called him during work hours, knowing that Wang Yue couldn't talk to him while driving anyway. Maybe he was too out of it after his long nap? But Wang Yue couldn't simply park his bike on this busy street to check who was calling him. His breathing sped up. No, it couldn't be Ling Rui. But if someone else was calling him, it could only mean that something had happened to his brother. Maybe Wang Chao was still feeling too sick and had woken up after all, searching for Wang Yue, disturbing the neighbors.

Wang Yue tried to focus on driving instead of letting his thoughts run wild. The traffic around this hour wasn't to be underestimated, and he wouldn't risk causing an accident by picking up his phone while on the road. With every new ring, Wang Yue's anxiety grew, and he squeezed the handlebars tighter. When the ringing finally stopped, he relaxed, letting out the breath he had been holding. 

After passing the next crossroad, his phone rang again, and Wang Yue cursed. 

It had to be something urgent — something terrible. 

With every ring, it felt like his breath was taken away. He sped up his bike a bit too fast, rounded one corner with screeching tires, and then another until he finally reached his destination. He quickly rang the doorbell while taking his phone out of his pocket. The display showed the name of his neighbor, and Wang Yue's heart leaped into his throat. Something must have happened to Wang Chao.

"Yes?" Anxiously, Wang Yue took off his helmet and pressed the phone against his ear. 

"The main water pipe broke," his neighbor said without greeting him. She sounded annoyed. 

"What?" Wang Yue couldn't believe his ears.

"The water just keeps coming, running down the stairs like a river. It's crazy." 

Wang Yue clutched his phone tighter. This really was crazy. It had to be another nightmare. It couldn't be real.

"We called the fire and rescue service, and they told us to evacuate the building until they arrive, but your brother won't open the door."

Wang Yue's ears were ringing. He barely noticed how someone opened the door and accepted the food he had delivered until the irony of the situation hit him — if only Wang Chao had opened the door that fast when their neighbors had knocked. 

"We'll tell the firefighters to break down your door and save your brother, but you should come back quickly. We don't have time to look after him once he's out."

She ended the call without waiting for Wang Yue's reply. The constant beeping of the dead line reverberated through Wang Yue's ears. This couldn't be happening. He had never been on good terms with his neighbors —they all disliked him and his brother for whatever reason— but she couldn't just hang up on him like that! Someone had to look after Wang Chao. Wang Yue was at the other end of town. It would take at least half an hour to return home. If he could even drive. He had to, but right now, he was frozen in shock. What was he standing around for? He had to move! Wang Chao needed him! He had to be so scared alone in the flooded flat. He needed help. Wang Yue needed help. He couldn't do this on his own. He had to move, to do something, to—

"Xiao Yue?" 

Wang Yue gasped when he suddenly heard Ling Rui's voice. Was he hallucinating? It would be within the bounds of possibility. He felt like freaking out right now. Maybe his subconsciousness provided him with the voice of the man he loved in a fruitless attempt to calm him down.

"Sorry, I was asleep until you called me just now." Ling Rui yawned.

Shit. Wang Yue only now realized that he was still pressing his phone against his ear. He must have called Ling Rui unintentionally. What was he doing, disturbing Ling Rui's much-needed sleep like this? A desperate sob slipped from Wang Yue's lips.

"Xiao Yue?" Ling Rui suddenly sounded wide awake, something rustling in the background as if he had moved abruptly. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Sorry!" Wang Yue called out, his voice so rough and broken it shocked him. Why was he yelling? Why was his voice trembling as much as his hand and lips? He wasn't even aware of the rest of his body. It felt like he was floating, the inside of his mouth feeling like cotton. Something wasn't right.

"Oh my god, Yue'er. You sound horrible! What happened?"

The main water pipe broke, Wang Yue heard his neighbor's words reverberating inside his head. It still sounded like a nightmare. Couldn't he just wake up? He didn't want this anymore. He didn't want this to be real. The very thought of what that meant was too horrifying to face. Was Wang Chao still asleep, or was he awake and scared? Was he safe and sound, or was he wet and freezing? Was he hurt?

"Yue'er, are you alright? Talk to me, please. Anything." Ling Rui said and his voice pulled Wang Yue back into reality. "Did something happen at work? You didn't get into an accident, did you?"

"I need help. I'm sorry." Wang Yue was barely able to focus on speaking, his mind spinning. What was he saying? He didn't need help. He didn't matter right now — he never mattered. "My brother needs help," Wang Yue corrected. "He—" Wang Yue gasped. It felt like the world was spinning. Was he still breathing? Was he still standing outside that flat after making his delivery, or was he already back on the road? No, he couldn't remember getting back on his bike. He tried to check his surroundings, but his eyes either didn't see or his brain couldn't process the information. Where was he?

"Calm down and breathe," Ling Rui instructed, and Wang Yue clung to his voice like a lifeline. "Everything will be alright. I will help you. Where are you?"

"Too far away," Wang Yue replied. "On a delivery." Quickly, he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I don't matter. Get to my flat. Please. Look after my brother."

"You do—" Ling Rui clicked his tongue as if realizing now wasn't the time to say whatever he wanted to say. "Did something happen to Wang Chao?"

"My neighbor called. The whole building is flooded."

"What?" Ling Rui gasped, and Wang Yue heard rustling sounds and heavy footsteps in the background as if Ling Rui was rushing out of his room. There was a female voice, too, or several voices, but Wang Yue couldn't make out any words, his brain refusing to perceive anything that wasn't Ling Rui.

"A water pipe broke or something," Wang Yue tried to focus and recalled what he had been told. "My brother is still inside the building. Alone. They'll try to get him out, but he's gotta be so scared, Rui-ge. You've gotta take care of him until I arrive, please. Please. I don't know who else—"

"It's okay, Yue'er," Ling Rui tried to reassure him, but his voice sounded strained. Was he worried? "I'm already on my way. I'll take care of everything until you arrive. Don't worry. Do you hear me? I promise to look after Wang Chao no matter how long it takes. You only have to make sure to arrive here safely after calming down. Don't rush. Alright?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue whispered, still totally out of it. Ling Rui had talked too much. Wang Yue's brain couldn't keep up, but he trusted Ling Rui. "Yeah."

"Don't even think about driving in your current state," Ling Rui admonished him. "You're in shock. It's not safe to drive like this."

"I know."

Something beeped, and Ling Rui whined in frustration. "I'm sorry. I fell asleep without plugging my phone." He clicked his tongue. "I've gotta hang up to save the remaining bit of battery to call you back in case of an emergency, alright?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue confirmed, even though every fiber of his being refused to let Ling Rui go. He couldn't do this alone. He needed Ling Rui's help to calm down. But Wang Chao's safety came first. Wang Yue couldn't ask for too much. He had to take care of himself while Ling Rui took care of Wang Chao. Wang Yue shouldn't push his luck. He should be grateful that Ling Rui helped him at all. "Thanks, Rui-ge. I'm sorry."

"Everything will be alright, Yue'er," Ling Rui said so reassuringly that Wang Yue wanted to believe it, clutching the phone tighter. "Take your time to calm down before carefully driving home. And don't hesitate to call or text me again if you need to! I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can. See you soon."

"Yeah," Wang Yue mumbled, even though he wouldn't dare to call Ling Rui again. "See you. Be careful."

"Always," Ling Rui replied and ended the call.

Trembling, Wang Yue lowered his arm and tried to take a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he focused on breathing in and out, in and out. Now wasn't the time to freak out. He had to get a grip! Wang Chao needed him. 

When he opened his eyes again, Wang Yue realized he was sitting on the sidewalk. He could neither remember sitting down nor falling. He must have been too out of it to notice, his worry about his brother making him panic. What a useless reaction. Gripping his thighs, Wang Yue focused on the pain and tried to stay in reality. Panicking wouldn't help anyone. It would only slow him down. He felt sick and dizzy. Groaning, he squeezed his eyes shut again and took a breath deep enough to feel his chest rising. His jeans were cold against his palms.

After exhaling, he buried his nose in his scarf. It was so soft. It always reminded him of Ling Rui. It soothed him. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open, looking down. His phone was lying on the ground between his legs next to his helmet. He put it into his pocket. After taking another deep breath, Wang Yue forced himself to stand up, his helmet in his hand. His legs shook, and he staggered backwards, almost falling down again. He paused to focus on breathing. He put a hand against his forehead to steady his swaying head before putting on his helmet. Trembling, he pulled his hand back and opened his eyes. 

He was dizzy, but he had to get going.

He knew that he shouldn't be unreasonable. Driving in his current state was a risk not only to himself but also to everyone else on the road, but he couldn't stay here any longer. Wang Chao needed him, and Wang Yue couldn't make Ling Rui wait forever. 

After a few more seconds, Wang Yue sat down on his bike. His thoughts were running wild, his heart beating fast as anxiety rushed through him, but Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip, using the pain to ground him. He felt nauseous and dizzy, but he wouldn't black out. He knew himself well enough to judge that. It would be fine. 

Trembling, he got back on the road.

 

---

 

It was probably a bad sign that Wang Yue didn't remember anything from his drive, but somehow, he managed to arrive safely. As soon as he noticed the blue lights in the distance, he parked his bike and ran towards the building. 

It was a scary sight that he usually only knew from movies or the news. Water ran down the street, his shoes soaked before he even arrived at the scene. Firefighters shouted instructions at each other, some going into the building, others standing outside, trying to guide the water with sandbags away from other buildings and towards the overflowing sewer.

There was too much happening for Wang Yue to even process all the information, but he didn't have time for that anyway. Panting harshly, he checked his surroundings, searching for his brother. He spotted some of his neighbors huddled together with blankets, carrying backpacks and suitcases. They must have managed to save some of their belongings before everything was flooded. Several curious onlookers stood close by, whispering to each other and taking pictures with their phones as if they enjoyed gawking at other people's misfortune. 

Wang Yue's breathing sped up. Where was his brother? Panicked, he looked around again. There were so many people and so much noise. It made him dizzy. It was late at night, but the emergency lights lit everything up. Wang Yue's eyes went from one person's face to the next. None of them were Wang Chao. It couldn't be that he was still inside, could it? Alone and scared, freezing with all the cold water and—

"Yue'er!" 

A strong hand squeezed Wang Yue's shoulder, startling him.

Gasping, Wang Yue turned around, staring right into Ling Rui's face.

"He's alright," Ling Rui said, but Wang Yue just stared at him, his brain unable to catch up. "I couldn't call you because my phone ran out of battery, but Wang Chao is alright." 

Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's shoulder tighter and nodded towards the other side of the road, further away from the commotion. Wang Yue's eyes followed the movement, and he finally spotted his brother. He sat on a folded chair on the sidewalk that wasn't flooded, dressed in the shirt he wore for sleeping, one of these big silver-golden thermal blankets wrapped around his shoulders and covering his legs. Next to him crouched a female emergency doctor, talking to him and pointing at his teddy bear.

Wang Chao laughed, and Wang Yue finally recovered from his state of shock. 

"Ge!" Wang Yue exclaimed, rushing over.

Wang Chao looked up. "Di!" he replied excitedly. Whatever he wanted to say next was muffled when Wang Yue fell to his knees to wrap his arms around his brother, pressing him against his chest. The asphalt was cold and hard under his knees, his shins hitting the edge of the sidewalk, his jeans slowly soaking up the water from the street. But none of it mattered as long as Wang Chao was alright.

Wang Yue had to fight back his tears of relief as he stroked Wang Chao's head. 

"Are you alright?" Wang Yue asked. Trembling, he squeezed Wang Chao tighter, the blanket rustling. 

Wang Chao laughed while trying to free himself from Wang Yue's embrace. Reluctantly, Wang Yue loosened his grip, giving his brother enough space to breathe.

"He's fine," a female voice next to him said, and Wang Yue remembered that they weren't alone. "He was a bit cold when we found him, but he isn't injured." 

Cradling Wang Chao's face, Wang Yue took a good look at him, checking him for any injuries. He didn't seem to be in pain, and his cheeks felt warmer than Wang Yue's hands. Wang Yue should probably let go to avoid making him cold again. Still kneeling, he rested his hands on Wang Chao's knees instead, the blanket rustling under his palms. 

"Thank you, Doctor Jiang," Ling Rui said to the woman. The name sounded weirdly familiar for some reason, but Wang Yue was still too agitated to think clearly. "You've been a big help — as always."

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled, unable to avert his eyes from his brother. He looked fine, but deep down, Wang Yue was still worried. Not every wound could be seen from the outside.

"You're welcome," Doctor Jiang replied. "Wang Chao was very brave." The tone of her voice conveyed her smile, and she patted Wang Chao's head, making him laugh. "I'm sure he'll recover quickly."

"It runs in the family," Ling Rui said, his voice filled with conviction. "His little brother is also very brave."

Doctor Jiang laughed heartily, and Wang Yue furrowed his brows, perplexed. He wasn't brave. What was Ling Rui talking about?

"A-Ming told me that Doctor Ling was head over heels lately, but I didn't expect it to be this bad."

"W-what?" Ling Rui stuttered. "I wasn't— I just—" Ling Rui's protest broke off as a flustered squeak left his lips. Wang Chao laughed.

Doctor Jiang chuckled again, amused. "I'll leave these two in your care, Doctor Ling. I've gotta check on the others, but don't hesitate to call me if you need anything else."

"Al-Alright," Ling Rui replied, stuttering. 

When Doctor Jiang walked away, she seemed to mumble something like, young love, but Wang Yue must have misheard that. Ling Rui was only flustered because he liked Wang Yue. It wasn't love. Or could it be that he was embarrassed that someone had found out that the famous Doctor Ling was dating a shabby delivery driver? Maybe he was ashamed of Wang Yue.

Surprised, Wang Yue turned his attention towards Ling Rui when he realized how casual and familiar Ling Rui had talked to the other doctor. "You know her?" Wang Yue hadn't even considered the possibility, but it wasn't too far-fetched that Ling Rui knew some of the rescue workers. Ling Rui's cheeks were still red, his expression flustered. Wang Yue only now noticed how blood-shot Ling Rui's eyes were, the rings under his eyes even darker than the last time Wang Yue had seen him. Fuck. How much sleep had he skipped lately after working overtime every day? And to make it worse, Wang Yue had woken him up tonight, even though Peng Bo had arranged some hours off for Ling Rui.

"Fleetingly," Ling Rui replied, his gaze drawn to her. Wang Yue followed his line of view if only to stop being aware of Ling Rui's exhausted expression. Doctor Jiang was talking to one of Wang Yue's neighbors, a friendly and encouraging smile on her lips. "We work in different wards. But she's the wife of Nurse Jiang, who works with me."

Wang Yue's eyes snapped towards Ling Rui. "What?" Did he mean the one that had flirted with Ling Rui? That was why the name had sounded so familiar. 

"The one I talked about some days ago," Ling Rui reminded him patiently. "Nurse Jiang is really hard-working and never complains. She always cheers us up and loves talking about her wife Doctor Jiang." 

"They’re married? I thought they might be sisters because they share the same last name." It wasn't that Wang Yue didn't believe Ling Rui, but it sounded too good to be true. If that nurse was happily married, she wouldn't have any reason to flirt with Ling Rui. 

Ling Rui hummed. "They've been married for about two years, I think." He chuckled. "My parents also shared the same last name by coincidence." 

"Huh." Wang Yue had never realized that.

"Di, di!" Wang Chao called out, catching Wang Yue's attention. "Everything was swimming!" He pointed towards the house, water still running down the staircase. 

Worried, Wang Yue squeezed Wang Chao's knee. "I'm sorry that I wasn't home. Was it scary?"

Laughing, Wang Chao shook his head and clapped his hands, his teddy bear resting on his lap. "I looked for fish!" He stopped laughing, some snot running down his nose. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, and Wang Yue only hoped Ling Rui wouldn't feel too disgusted by the sight. "But I couldn't find any." Suddenly, Wang Chao turned his attention towards Ling Rui. "Da-ge! Do you know that book about fish?"

Blinking, Ling Rui crouched down, his long coat touching the dirty ground, soaking up the muddy water. Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath. Somehow, he felt guilty about that.

"Your picture book with the fish and dolphins?" Ling Rui asked patiently.

Excitedly, Wang Chao nodded. "Yes! Let's read it!" He looked around, searching. "Where is it?" He frowned, his eyes traveling towards Wang Yue. "Di, where's my book?"

Wang Yue choked on his breath as he saw his brother's pleading expression. How was he supposed to answer that question? He couldn't even remember where he had last seen that book. If it was on a shelf, they might be lucky, but if it had been on the floor, it was probably drenched and useless by now. Wang Yue paled as realization slowly settled in. How much of their stuff would be lost due to the water damage? His gaze snapped back to the house. The firefighters still didn't let anyone close, but Wang Yue had to go and see. He needed to know how much damage the water had caused in his flat. He needed to know how much money he had to scratch up to make up for all the loss. He needed to—

"Calm down," Ling Rui said, squeezing his shoulder. "Take a deep breath."

"Di?" Wang Chao called out. "Are you okay?"

Wang Yue gasped. "I'm fine," he replied subconsciously. He couldn't worry his brother, who had already been through enough. And he couldn't worry Ling Rui, who had already helped him out so much. "I'm fine," he repeated to convince himself.

"Wang Yue?" 

Startled, Wang Yue turned towards the loud voice. His old neighbor from downstairs, who always complained about Wang Chao running around too much, had his hands on his hips and looked around. His expression was as grumpy as always.

"I'm here," Wang Yue called out, getting up. His shoulder felt cold as Ling Rui's warm hand slipped from it. On shaking legs, he walked to his neighbor, his shoes making squelching noises as he stepped into one puddle after another. 

"Always gotta look for you," the neighbor grumbled, crossing his arms. "Listen 'cause I don't wanna repeat myself. They said we can't go back inside tonight cause they've gotta check whether or not the building is in danger of collapsing. We're meeting here tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock with our landlord. You better show up."

"Oh." Wang Yue grabbed the cuffs of his jeans jacket sleeves.

Without caring about Wang Yue's reply, the neighbor turned around and walked to the other neighbors. Wang Yue vaguely heard them talking about staying with friends or at a hotel tonight, about household contents insurance, and about having wanted to move to a better building for months anyway and taking this as a chance for a new beginning.

It didn't feel like a chance to Wang Yue. It felt like the end.

He really hoped he hadn't stored too many things on the floor. The furniture should be alright, shouldn't it? And he could always wash their clothes after buying new laundry detergent next month. And most of Wang Chao's toys should be waterproof — except for the picture books. But what if—

"Xiao Yue."

"Huh?" Startled, Wang Yue turned around. Ling Rui looked at him with a soft and empathetic smile. 

"There's nothing we can do for now. Let's go home."

Home.

Inevitably, Wang Yue's eyes drifted towards the building. Water kept running out, the walls shimmering blue from the emergency lights. Firefighters kept shouting, and one of his older neighbors was crying bitterly, her husband soothingly patting her shoulder. The whole situation still felt so unreal.

"Yue'er." Ling Rui squeezed his hand, Wang Chao standing behind him. "Let's go home and warm up."

Once again, Wang Yue became aware of how much colder his hands were than Ling Rui's. Usually, Ling Rui was the one who always got cold first, but unlike Wang Yue, he wore proper clothes for this frigid time of the year. Self-consciously, Wang Yue freed his hand from Ling Rui's grip. Ling Rui looked surprised but didn't say anything.

"But my home is—" Wang Yue couldn't even say it out loud, feeling a lump in his throat. "Where am I supposed to—"

"You'll stay with me tonight, Xiao Yue. Don't worry about anything."

Don't worry? How was Wang Yue supposed not to worry? He was nothing but an inconvenience to Ling Rui lately. He failed to satisfy him, woke him from his nap, asked him to rush here — and now he was supposed to intrude on Ling Rui's home? What would Ling Rui's family think? Wang Yue inhaled, his breathing stuttering.

"But I—"

"Di, I'm tired," Wang Chao complained, and suddenly Wang Yue didn't have it in him to protest anymore. What did he even intend to do if he declined Ling Rui's hospitality? Wang Yue had no other place to go. He had no money for a hotel and knew his landlord wouldn't easily bear the costs, even if he might be obligated to do so. And he didn't have any friends except Meilin and—

"Shit."

"Hm?" Worried, Ling Rui furrowed his eyebrows while Wang Yue already reached into his pocket, searching for his phone.

"I'm supposed to work. I forgot to call the restaurant and—"

"I called them immediately after talking to you," Ling Rui said in a calm voice, placing his hand on Wang Yue's lower arm to stop him from taking out his phone. "I told them about the emergency, and they said you shouldn't worry about work tonight. Your boss will take care of the deliveries for the rest of the night. My phone died right after that."

Wang Yue groaned. He was glad Ling Rui had called the restaurant in his stead but still felt pathetic for not thinking about it sooner. Why couldn't he be a responsible working adult like society expected him to be? Furthermore, Wang Yue had already missed several work shifts these past days to care for Wang Chao. He couldn't afford to skip again today, but he couldn't ask Ling Rui to look after his brother tonight either just to return to work.

"But I—" Wang Yue's lips trembled. He was getting dizzy again. Why did he have so much bad luck lately? "What if they fire me after missing so often in a row?"

Ling Rui frowned. "Xiao Yue. You've worked for them for years, and they know you well. They know that you're a reliable worker and that this is an exceptional situation due to an emergency."

Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue held back another retort. Ling Rui just didn't understand how desperately Wang Yue needed this job and money. He was already barely scraping by, living from paycheck to paycheck. Even if he hadn't seen the state of his flat yet, he knew he would need more money to pay for the loss than he could afford.

He didn't know what to do. He could only try to get a second job somehow and—

"I'm tired," Wang Chao whined, stomping with his feet on the ground, the blanket slipping from his legs. Wang Yue only now realized that his brother wasn’t even wearing any shoes. Wang Yue hated himself for not being more attentive. 

"I parked my car at the end of the street," Ling Rui said, pointing over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go." Putting a hand on Wang Yue's lower back, Ling Rui softly pushed him. "We can calmly talk about everything later." 

"Wait." Quickly, Wang Yue slipped out of his shoes and crouched down. 

"Xiao Yue, what are you—"

"Steady him," Wang Yue said. 

"It won't be better if you're without shoes, Xiao Yue." Ling Rui sighed but grabbed Wang Chao's elbow to help him keep his balance as Wang Yue helped his brother to slip into the shoes. They were wet, but at least Wang Chao would have a sole under his feet to avoid getting hurt while walking.

Swaying, Wang Yue got back up once he was done. The wet ground was cold under his thin and worn-out socks. He was exhausted. It probably was the best decision to rely on Ling Rui for tonight. He adjusted the blanket around Wang Chao's shoulders.

"Let's go," Ling Rui whispered, and they quietly walked to the car.

The brothers took their seats in the back, and Wang Yue fastened Wang Chao's seatbelt. Sometimes, Wang Chao still grew anxious in cars —subconsciously remembering the accident from their childhood— but tonight, he appeared to be okay. Ling Rui had barely taken two corners when Wang Chao's head lolled to the side as he slowly nodded off, his teddy resting in his lap. Wang Yue watched his brother, ignoring Ling Rui's worried glances in the rearview mirror that were directed at him. 

Wang Chao looked exhausted, groaning after coughing twice. Wang Yue needed to make sure his brother got enough rest tomorrow, so he wouldn't suffer a relapse after finally recovering from his cold. Shivering, Wang Yue rubbed his arms. He almost couldn't wait for spring to come. It was really cold. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how Ling Rui turned up the heating. What a waste of energy. They would soon arrive at Ling Rui's home anyway. 

During the whole drive, Wang Yue kept watching his brother. Despite everything that had happened and whatever financial problems Wang Yue would have to face in the near future, he should be happy that Wang Chao was alright. Nothing was more important. Nothing else mattered. And besides, it wasn't the first time Wang Yue had to face difficulties in his life.

 

Notes:

Sorry for the sudden cut, but the chapter was getting too long.

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Chapter 4: Broken (Monday, March 29th)

Summary:

After the water pipe broke at Wang Yue's flat, he and his brother are allowed to spend the night at Ling Rui's place.

Notes:

Click here for some screenshots of Ling Rui's flat.

8,7k words

Despite the late hour, Ling Rui found a free parking space in front of his house. It was one of many yellow houses in a row, the turquoise parts of the walls over and under the big window fronts looking almost black in the darkness of the cloudy night. Wang Yue unfastened his seatbelt and reached out to wake his brother but paused when he studied Wang Chao's sleeping face. He looked so exhausted. Wang Yue didn't see any reason to rouse him again. Wang Chao had already been through enough tonight. He deserved some rest. 

After quietly getting out of the car, Wang Yue walked around it and opened the door on the other side. The air felt even colder than before now that he had sat in Ling Rui's heated car, and the asphalt was rough under his feet, his old socks too thin to provide any protection. Carefully, Wang Yue leaned into the car and unfastened Wang Chao's seatbelt. He put his hands around Wang Chao's back and under his knees to pick him up without dropping Wang Chao's favorite teddy bear.

"Isn't he too heavy?" Ling Rui whispered worriedly, a white puff of breath visible in the cold air. He reached for the thermal blanket that had slipped from Wang Chao's shoulders and closed the car door. The rustling and the thudding sounds felt loud in the silence of the night, but Wang Chao didn't stir from his slumber.

"It's okay," Wang Yue forced himself to say with gritted teeth. Wang Chao wasn't light, and his limbs were long, but Wang Yue wouldn't complain. This was the least he could do for his brother. 

Ling Rui hurried ahead and unlocked the front door. With every step, Wang Yue inwardly cursed Ling Rui for living on the third floor, almost losing his balance twice while carrying his brother up the stairs. When they finally arrived, Wang Yue almost ran into the bicycle leaning against the white and green wall. He was breathing heavily as he waited for Ling Rui to unlock the thick, dark door of the flat. The lights inside were turned off, and Wang Yue sighed in relief. He really didn't have the mental strength to deal with Ling Rui's noisy family tonight, so he was glad they were already asleep. Quietly, Ling Rui snuck inside. When Wang Yue followed him, he tripped over the small step at the entrance, and Ling Rui quickly turned on the lights. 

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, don't worry," Wang Yue whispered, standing up straight. His toe hurt, but the pain would subside soon. It wasn't the first time he had bumped his foot. And the most important thing was that he hadn't dropped his brother.

It had been a while since Wang Yue had last been here, but he still remembered the layout of the flat. The entrance area led into the big main room. To his right was a white counter with a wooden top that separated the entrance area from the kitchen with the dark gray tiles. To his left was a wooden counter with a small aquarium and hanging lockers in front of the living room. 

Opposite the entrance was a small dark wooden cupboard with the phone and some potted plants. The wooden door to its left led to Ling Yazhi's bedroom, and the doorway on its right to the room Ling Rui's mother and older aunt shared. Further to the right —past the kitchen and out of view from the entrance area— was a door with six opaque glass tiles leading to the bathroom. The entrance to Ling Rui's bedroom was at the far left end of the living room, on the same side as the entrance door. 

Without taking off his shoes, Ling Rui dropped the blanket and hurried towards the sofa bed in the living room that his aunt Ling Yazhi had bought around New Year. Wang Yue, however, didn't dare to dirty anything. He paused at the entrance to carefully slip out of his wet, dirty socks, kicking them to the side. By the time he was done, Ling Rui had already pulled the coffee table out of the way and converted the light gray sofa into a bed. Turning around, he rushed off to his room for whatever reason. 

Slowly, Wang Yue stepped into the living room, the laminate flooring chilly under his already cold feet. 

The walls of the living room were filled with pictures, colorful shelves, dark wooden cupboards, and a light wooden wall unit. Inside the room stood a black dining table with several chairs of different colors and designs, two white armchairs, and the sofa bed facing the television. Further to the back was a big window front with another small table and chairs. The thick gray curtains were drawn shut. Even though Wang Yue wasn't seeing it for the first time, he was once again surprised by the unusual mix of furniture. Somehow, although it all didn't fit together, it still looked like a perfect, warm home. 

Ling Rui returned with a white sheet. After unfolding it, he threw it over the sofa bed. "Put him down. I'll fetch some clothes for you."

Wang Yue wanted to protest that it wasn't necessary but couldn't deny that not only his but also Wang Chao's clothes were dirty and wet. They couldn't stay like this and stain the home of the Ling family. Carefully, Wang Yue set Wang Chao down on the sofa, his feet still on the ground. Relief washed through Wang Yue as his muscles which had been trembling from exhaustion relaxed.

As he took off Wang Chao's shoes —or his shoes, actually— Ling Rui returned carrying such a big pile that he barely managed to see over it. He placed everything on the bed, and Wang Yue spotted a pillow, a blanket, a fresh pillowcase and duvet cover, and several pieces of clothing. Ling Rui really went out of his way for them. Wang Yue was overwhelmed by affection and guilt. He hadn't considered how much work their stay here would cause Ling Rui. Maybe Wang Yue could offer to wash everything before leaving again tomorrow.

Ling Rui still wore his shoes —muddy and wet, all their usual polished sparkle gone— and his dirtied coat, looking restless. Wang Yue once again became aware of the dark circles under Ling Rui's eyes. He had been stressed and exhausted for days —weeks, even— and today when he finally had some time off to recover, Wang Yue had made everything worse by calling him in a moment of thoughtlessness. Ling Rui had to be so mad at him.

But instead of complaining or blaming Wang Yue, Ling Rui only reached for the pillowcase, picking up a pillow. 

"Take a shower to warm up," Wang Yue said. He couldn't bear Ling Rui fussing about him and his brother any second longer. Wang Yue already owed him way too much for today. "I can take care of the rest without you."

"We can shower together once we're—"

"No," Wang Yue refused, knowing that Ling Rui was only forcing himself to be a good host. "Go." He nodded towards the bathroom. "Take a shower and go to bed. You've gotta sleep. I'll take care of my brother. I don't need your help."

For some reason, Ling Rui looked displeased. But Wang Yue was too exhausted to wrack his brain about what he had done wrong this time. He was just so tired of it all. Stubbornly, he reached out, waiting for Ling Rui to hand him the pillowcase.

Sighing, Ling Rui dropped it. "It hurts when you shut yourself off like that, you know?" 

"I don't—"

"I'm sorry. Forget it." Ling Rui dragged a hand over his face and shook his head. "We're both exhausted. I don't want to fight on top of that." He smiled, but it looked forced and fake. "I know you don't want to accept help, but at least believe me when I say that no matter what happens, you won't have to carry that burden alone, alright?" 

Wang Yue parted his lips to reply, but the words eluded him. Which burden was Ling Rui talking about? Wang Yue carried so much on his shoulders.

"I'll be quick so you can shower afterwards," Ling Rui whispered.

"Take your time," Wang Yue murmured, even though Ling Rui had already hurried off to his room. He returned with his pajamas in his hands and vanished into the bathroom. It didn't take long until Wang Yue heard the shower running. The sound took some pressure from Wang Yue's shoulders. Ling Rui was finally taking care of himself.

Wang Yue used the time to focus on Wang Chao. For a moment, he got lost in routine as he mindlessly took off Wang Chao's pants and shirt. Wang Chao grumbled as the shirt slipped over his head but didn't wake up. Reality quickly came crashing back as Wang Yue checked all the clothes Ling Rui had brought over. There were sweatpants, shirts, hoodies, pajamas, underwear and socks. Ling Rui was really overdoing it. Wang Yue wasn't used to having so many choices. After a short moment of hesitation, he reached for a pajama that felt so fluffy and warm in his hands that he paused. He hadn't even known that clothes could be so soft. Was that the magic of fabric softener? Wang Yue didn't know. He had never managed to afford it, but maybe he should. His brother deserved that much.

Wang Yue managed to dress Wang Chao without waking him up. It wasn't a sign of Wang Yue's skills but of Wang Chao's exhaustion. As he pondered where to put Wang Chao's wet clothes, Wang Yue remembered the thermal blanket Ling Rui had dropped at the entrance. He didn't know what to do with that either, but he couldn't cause any mess after the Ling family was kind enough to let them stay overnight. Ling Rui loved it when everything was clean and tidied up. Wang Yue couldn't cause chaos after only a few minutes of being here.

But first, he had to make sure Wang Chao wouldn't get cold. Quickly, he put the pillowcase on the pillow and carefully placed it under Wang Chao's head before taking care of the duvet. He covered Wang Chao with it and placed his teddy bear right next to him. For a moment, Wang Yue sat down and watched Wang Chao's sleeping face. Tentatively, he brushed a strand of hair from his forehead. He was glad Wang Chao was alright. Things could have gone much worse today.

Wang Yue's moment of peace was short-lived as he realized that he couldn't hear the shower running anymore. Shit. When had Ling Rui turned it off? Wang Yue hadn't finished cleaning up yet! Quickly, he gathered Wang Chao's dirty clothes and threw them over his shoulder. As he hurried towards the entrance area and picked up the thermal blanket, the bathroom door opened.

Ling Rui walked towards him and took the loudly rustling blanket out of his hands. "I'll throw it away," he whispered, walking towards the kitchen. "Just put the dirty clothes in the basket in the bathroom," he said once he returned. "I'll wash everything tomorrow." 

"Sorry for the inconvenience," Wang Yue mumbled, too tired to protest.

"It's fine. Please don't worry about that." Ling Rui smiled. This time, it looked sincere. Letting Ling Rui take a shower had been the right decision after all. Wang Yue was glad he had insisted and helped to improve Ling Rui's mood. Ling Rui peeked towards the sofa. "Is everything alright?"

Wang Yue hummed. "He's sound asleep."

"Good." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's upper arm. "Take a shower before you join me in bed."

"I can sleep on the sofa."

Ling Rui furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why?"

Wang Yue opened his mouth to reply but closed it again. Why? It was a valid question. The few times he had stayed over, he had always slept in Ling Rui's bed, but now, Wang Yue suddenly felt like he didn't deserve to be there. Why should he sleep in a bed while his brother had to sleep on the sofa? Furthermore, Ling Rui shouldn't have to wait for him or get woken up by him. "I don't wanna disturb your sleep," Wang Yue mumbled.

"Nonsense." Smiling, Ling Rui brushed the back of his hand over Wang Yue's cheek. His skin was soft and warm. "Come on. You're cold. Take a shower. I'll hang up your jacket."

"You don't have to—" Wang Yue's protest was fruitless as Ling Rui unwrapped his scarf and pulled the jacket from his shoulders. Wang Yue barely managed to catch Wang Chao's dirty clothes that he had thrown over his shoulder.

"Just take a towel from the shelf," Ling Rui said, nodding towards the bathroom. 

Sighing, Wang Yue gave in. "Alright."

He quickly grabbed a pair of Ling Rui's sweatpants and a shirt before going to the bathroom. The air was hot and humid. Ling Rui must have taken an especially hot shower. Wang Yue took a quick look around. The wall with the door and the one on the right with the sink and a small shelf had white tiles. The other two walls were decorated with dark, hexagon-shaped tiles. The different colored tiles caused the small bathroom to look more spacious than it was. The shower was to his left next to the washing machine, and the toilet was in front of him under a small window, the blinds drawn shut. Sighing, Wang Yue placed his fresh clothes —Ling Rui's clothes— on the closed toilet lid. 

Chewing on the dried skin on his bottom lip, he hesitated to put Wang Chao's dirty clothes into the white basket right next to the door, even though Ling Rui had asked him to do it. Somehow, Wang Yue was afraid to dirty the clothes of the Ling family. He knew it was a stupid thought. These clothes all had to be washed anyway. And what did he intend to do with Wang Chao's clothes otherwise? Sighing, he put them inside before slipping out of his own. He didn't know where to put them. His jeans were soaked and dirty, but Wang Yue didn't mind that much. He could wear them again tomorrow when he went home. There was no reason for Ling Rui to go out of his way and wash them. For now, Wang Yue decided to drop them on the floor and take them with him to Ling Rui's room later. 

Fully naked, he stared at the shelf filled with colorful towels and beauty products. There were also a lot of skincare products from different brands. Did some of them belong to Ling Rui? His skin always looked impeccable, even though the stress lately seemed to have gotten to him. Maybe he didn't have time for his skin routine anymore? And now Wang Yue had robbed him of even more of his time tonight. He shook his head, willing that thought away, strands of hair falling on his forehead. He needed a towel. But which one? Using a small one was probably less inconvenient for Ling Rui since it wouldn't take up so much space in the washing machine. He already had enough dirty laundry to deal with after this day. Wang Yue remembered the state of Ling Rui's coat and swallowed down the lump in his throat as he felt guilty again. Hopefully, that coat could be washed and wasn't so fancy that it needed to be brought to a specific cleaning service. Wang Yue didn't know. He didn't own such expensive clothes. But worried about that now wouldn't help in any way. 

He should hurry up to avoid making Ling Rui wait after troubling him all evening.

Quickly, Wang Yue stepped into the shower and closed the shower curtain that looked like opaque glass before turning on the water. It was so hot that he tensed at first, his frozen toes burning and stinging. But a moment later, he sighed, his tense muscles relaxing. At home, the hot water often didn't work properly, forcing him to take a cold shower. Therefore, this hot water was a welcome change. He allowed himself to relax for a few seconds, taking a deep breath as the hot water ran down his back and warmed him up. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been so warm. These past few days, he had been freezing all the time.

However, he soon remembered that he didn't want the water bill of the Ling family to skyrocket and turned off the water. Reflexively, he reached for his all-in-one conditioner, shampoo, and shower gel bottle, his hands bumping against a pink bath sponge. Blinking, he only realized now that he hadn't brought any toiletries. How should he? He hadn't planned to spend the night here. Hesitantly, Wang Yue peeked at Ling Rui's black shower gel between all the other colorful bottles that had to belong to Ling Rui's family. Pondering whether or not it would be okay to use it, he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. In the end, he came to the conclusion that he shouldn't touch Ling Rui's stuff without his permission. 

Raising his arm, he turned his head to smell on his armpit. It seemed fine. He had taken a quick cold shower at noon today. It should be okay to not use any shower gel now. He could even save water that way. 

After opening the shower curtain, he reached for his towel. It was small, but Wang Yue managed to dry himself off before stepping out of the shower and immediately drying off his feet and the two wet spots they had left on the floor. Only then did he dare to step on the fluffy, soft carpet. It was warm. Afterwards, he placed the towel on a rack and put on his underwear and Ling Rui's clothes. The sweatpants sat loosely on his hips, and their legs were a bit too long, but it would work. Realizing that he hadn't brought his toothbrush either, Wang Yue only quickly rinsed his mouth.

Afterwards, he sneaked out of the bathroom. The lights inside the living room were turned off, but the door to Ling Rui's bedroom was open, light falling out.

After reassuring himself that Wang Chao was still sound asleep, Wang Yue tiptoed into Ling Rui's room and closed the wooden door behind him. Just like the last time Wang Yue had been here, a white armchair stood on the right side next to a reading lamp and a wide, black desk with a black chair. The same dark gray curtains that decorated the living room hung on either side of the wide window front, some thin white curtains drawn shut. 

Looking to his left, Wang Yue felt mocked when he spotted a coat rack. Ling Rui had one in his room and one at the entrance door, whereas Wang Yue couldn't afford even one. Swallowing down his guilty conscience, he let his eyes travel further and found Ling Rui sitting in bed, leaning against the dark brown cushioned headboard, his phone in hand. On both sides of the bed were two small black nightstands, one bedside lamp turned on. On the right side were several shelves filled with many books and a few storage boxes. On the left was an open wardrobe system with Ling Rui's clothes. The first time Wang Yue had been here, he had been wondering why Ling Rui would risk letting his clothes get dusty while storing them in the open like this, but he soon realized that something like dust simply didn't exist in Ling Rui's flat. He really was a neat freak.

When he noticed Wang Yue, Ling Rui looked up in surprise.

"That was quick."

Wang Yue felt caught. Hopefully, he really didn't smell. Self-consciously, he only nodded awkwardly.

"Come here." After placing his phone on the nightstand, Ling Rui pulled back the blanket and patted the empty space to his left.

Ling Rui's bed was big enough for both of them and had two pillows. They would have to share the blanket, but it shouldn't be a problem. Unlike Wang Yue's bedroom, Ling Rui's room was warm and comfortable, with the heating turned on. Wang Yue wouldn't freeze tonight, even if he left the bigger part of the blanket to Ling Rui. 

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled. After slipping into bed, he lay down on his back. Even though he was exhausted, he didn't feel ready to sleep either. There was too much on his mind. He wondered how much damage would await him when he returned to his flat tomorrow. Hopefully, nothing important had been lost. He couldn't even afford new laundry detergent. How was he supposed to replace anything that had been broken?

His train of thought was interrupted when Ling Rui moved to lie on his side, throwing his arm over Wang Yue's chest. Wang Yue blinked in surprise when he noticed that Ling Rui hadn't turned off the bedside lamp. Didn't he intend to sleep?

"Xiao Yue," Ling Rui whispered. Scooting closer, he nuzzled his nose against Wang Yue's shoulder, his hand traveling up to cup Wang Yue's cheek.

"Hm?"

"Do you want to—" Ling Rui's voice trailed off, but the red flush creeping up on his cheeks was telling enough.

For once, Wang Yue wasn't in the mood for sex. But after everything that Ling Rui had done for him today, Wang Yue couldn't deny him anything. If Ling Rui wanted an orgasm, he would get one. Wang Yue still owed him at least two anyway.

Humming, he turned towards Ling Rui, putting a hand on his hip. Due to the shower, his cold hands had warmed up, and he could touch Ling Rui without feeling guilty. "You know I'm always up for it," he whispered what was usually the truth, and Ling Rui smiled. 

A second later, Ling Rui was already pressing Wang Yue back down on the mattress. Halfway lying on top of Wang Yue, Ling Rui kissed him. His lips were hot and soft, moving with purpose as his tongue swiped over Wang Yue's dry lips. Self-consciously, Wang Yue parted his lips and met Ling Rui's tongue with his own, distracting him from his rough lips. 

Even though Wang Yue hadn't been in the mood to make out, he couldn't deny how good Ling Rui's kisses and the hot body on top of him felt, a wave of arousal stirring in the core of his body. He wished nothing more than to give in to the sweet seduction and forget his worries for a short moment. 

But Wang Yue had learned from his previous mistakes. 

Tonight, he would focus on making Ling Rui come without fail. He wouldn't lose track of his goal. He would avoid getting lost in pleasure so he wouldn't be too out of it to take care of Ling Rui. Furthermore, he would act quickly, making Ling Rui come before anyone could interrupt them. The thought caused him to remember something important, and he broke their kiss to look up.

"Let me lock the door?" Wang Yue suggested carefully.

Ling Rui grimaced, no doubt remembering how they had gotten interrupted by his mother and by Wang Chao lately. Sighing, he rested his forehead on Wang Yue's, long strands of hair separating their skin. "Good point."

Instead of simply rolling down from Wang Yue to allow him to stand up, Ling Rui went and locked the door himself. Wang Yue silently cursed himself for not reacting quicker. What was he doing, letting Ling Rui do all the work? Ling Rui shouldn't have to get out of his comfortable bed anymore tonight — except if he wanted to have sex on his armchair or while leaning against his desk. But from what Wang Yue knew, Ling Rui preferred sex in bed. It was a bit sad and boring since Wang Yue wouldn't mind getting more adventurous from time to time, but Wang Yue also knew not to push his luck. He was aware that even getting fucked in bed by Ling Rui meant he was already getting more than he deserved.

When Ling Rui returned to the bed, he opened the small nightstand drawer to take out the lube and condoms. 

Wang Yue had already mentally prepared himself to give Ling Rui a quick blowjob —knowing that even though he still struggled to deepthroat Ling Rui's thick, long cock, he was more skilled with his mouth and tongue than with his hands— but apparently, Ling Rui intended to go the whole way and fuck Wang Yue despite the late hour. Maybe Wang Yue's oral skills were more insufficient than he thought, and he failed to thoroughly satisfy Ling Rui with his mouth. He had to work on that. Maybe he could practice with a dildo or some vegetables. But for now, he needed to go along with Ling Rui's wishes. Quickly, he slipped out of his pants and underwear and dropped everything on the floor. 

"Should I prepare myself?" Wang Yue reached out for the bottle of lube. 

"I want to do it if you don't mind," Ling Rui replied.

"Sure," Wang Yue replied, pulling his hand back. Ling Rui's every wish was his command. "Should I turn around?"

Warily, Ling Rui narrowed his eyes and looked at Wang Yue. Afraid to get caught, Wang Yue quickly forced himself to smirk. He couldn't risk that Ling Rui called the whole thing off because he noticed that Wang Yue wasn't really in the mood. They had argued about this before, and Wang Yue had learned that Ling Rui wanted him to enjoy himself — and Wang Yue would enjoy it very much to not mess up tonight but manage to make Ling Rui come. Obviously, it would be even better if Wang Yue came as well, but that hadn't worked out the last time, and Wang Yue wouldn't take any risk tonight. Ling Rui had to come. Nothing else mattered. 

"It's okay if you want me like this instead," Wang Yue whispered, trying to sound seductive. "I just want your fingers up my ass no matter what position." Leaning up, he cupped Ling Rui's face and pulled him into a kiss, quelling the embarrassed yelp that had threatened to slip from Ling Rui's lips after hearing Wang Yue's shameless words. It also served to escape Ling Rui's scrutinizing gaze. 

The distraction seemed to work as Ling Rui moaned against Wang Yue's lips, and they lay down on the mattress together. Eagerly, Wang Yue wrapped his legs around Ling Rui. They couldn't waste too much time. Even though they had locked the door, Wang Yue was afraid someone might knock against it and interrupt them anyway. 

Fortunately, Ling Rui seemed to get the hint. Without breaking their kiss, he reached for the bottle of lube and coated his fingers. As always, he was more careful than necessary and spent a long time rubbing his wet fingertip over Wang Yue's puckering rim. It felt good but also maddening. Wang Yue wasn't as stimulated as he usually was —if only because he actively fought against it every time the arousal threatened to boil up inside him— but he wasn't any less impatient. Eventually, Wang Yue whined and shifted his hips, urging Ling Rui to continue. They had no time to take it slow. Ling Rui had to come before destiny decided to interrupt them again. And even if they wouldn't get disturbed tonight, Ling Rui still had to work tomorrow. He couldn't spend the whole night making out. He needed to catch up on sleep. 

When the first finger finally slipped inside, Wang Yue greedily squeezed down on it and deepened their kiss. A pleasurable shudder went through his body before he sucked in a sharp breath. For a moment, he had almost forgotten that he intended to take care of Ling Rui without getting too lost in pleasure. Following his mission, he reached for Ling Rui's groin. He was pleasantly surprised when he felt the big bulge against his palm, and Ling Rui gasped into their kiss. Wang Yue smirked and invitingly wiggled his hips.

"Fuck me," Wang Yue whispered, planting kisses on Ling Rui's cheeks and chin while hoping that his lips didn't feel too dry and rough. He licked them to cover them with more spit, creating the illusion of them being softer. 

"Soon," Ling Rui promised. Carefully, he inserted a second finger. 

A moan escaped Wang Yue's throat as Ling Rui pushed deep enough to rub his fingertips over his prostate. Quickly, Wang Yue slipped his hand into Ling Rui's pajama pants and underwear to grab his erection. It was hot and heavy in Wang Yue's hand, growing thicker as Wang Yue pumped up and down, thumbing over the slit. Ling Rui gasped against his lips, and Wang Yue raised his head to kiss him again. He loved hearing Ling Rui's sounds of pleasure —the quietest gasp as much as the loudest moan— but they couldn't risk waking anyone up. From what Wang Yue remembered from his last stay here, the walls weren't very thick.

It was difficult to not lose himself in pleasure as Ling Rui urgently reciprocated the kiss, rocking his hips to fuck into Wang Yue's hand. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Wang Yue focused on rhythmically stroking Ling Rui's cock. He loved feeling it growing thicker, pulsing under his touch. Wang Yue felt proud that he managed to make Ling Rui react like this. It made him greedy for more.

He whined when Ling Rui leaned back, his cock slipping out of Wang Yue's hand. Slowly, Ling Rui kissed his way down Wang Yue's neck while making scissoring movements with his fingers, widening Wang Yue's hole. With his free hand, he pulled up Wang Yue's shirt until he could press his flat palm against Wang Yue's collarbones. His hands were so big. Wang Yue would never stop being attracted to them. 

Eyes closed, Ling Rui leaned down to suck on Wang Yue's nipple, causing him to bite into his own hand to muffle his sounds. Wang Yue couldn't risk waking anyone. His dick was twitching as arousal rushed through his body against his will. Groaning, he bit down harder, using the pain to ground himself. He couldn't get lost in pleasure. He couldn't. He had a task to fulfill and needed his full attention for it. His breathing stuttered as he tried to grab Ling Rui's dick again, only to realize that it was out of reach. Shit. It would be bad if Ling Rui intended to rile Wang Yue up even further while Wang Yue didn't have any chance to distract Ling Rui from his task.

"Hurry," Wang Yue begged instead. As soon as Ling Rui was inside Wang Yue, it would be easy to make him come.

A breathy chuckle left Ling Rui's lips, but he pressed a third finger into Wang Yue. He kissed Wang Yue's nipple before switching to the other one, sucking on it without holding back. Wang Yue slapped a hand against his mouth, muffling a scream as another spark of arousal shot through his body, arching his back. Groaning, he bit down on his hand as he forced his body to lie back down. He closed his eyes and tried to think about something unsexy to keep himself from giving in to the pleasure. Why had Ling Rui decided to caress his nipples tonight of all times? They were his weak points. Every other time, Wang Yue would be grateful for the sweet stimulation, but tonight he couldn't afford to give in. Recalling the memory of today —the fear when receiving that phone call and the state of the house, surrounded by firefighters trying to push back the water— Wang Yue managed to quell his arousal before it could get out of control. With his free hand, he caressed the nape of Ling Rui's neck, playing with his hair. Ling Rui moaned against Wang Yue's chest. 

"I'm good," Wang Yue said once he was sure he had his voice back under control. "You can fuck me now."

Frowning, Ling Rui raised his head. "Already?" 

Wang Yue nodded quickly. Who knew how much longer he would manage to hold back? It would be better to get things done before it was too late.

Ling Rui spread his fingers, widening Wang Yue's hole further. Wang Yue did his best to relax his muscles, proving to Ling Rui that he was ready to get taken by him. Ling Rui's eyes traveled down Wang Yue's body until he suddenly paused in surprise. Wang Yue followed his line of view and spotted his half-hard cock. Fuck. He hadn't even thought about that. Ling Rui would be displeased if he realized Wang Yue wasn't into this.

"Are you sure you—"

Sitting up, Wang Yue grabbed Ling Rui's face with both hands and pushed his tongue into his mouth before Ling Rui could give in to his hesitation. Surprised, Ling Rui gasped but quickly reciprocated the kiss, his fingers slipping out of Wang Yue.

"I want you," Wang Yue whispered against Ling Rui's lips.

Hesitantly, Ling Rui peeked at Wang Yue's half-hard cock. 

"Fuck me." Wang Yue squeezed Ling Rui's face tighter, forcing him to look back up. "Please, Rui-ge." Using the nickname felt like a dirty trick, but Wang Yue didn't mind as long as it served to reach his goal. 

Ling Rui whined, his whole body shivering with need. "Are you really in the mood?" he asked anyway, putting Wang Yue's desire before his own. Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui tended to be quite selfless in every situation. But he would never understand why Ling Rui cared so much about him.

"Yes." It wasn't a lie. Wang Yue was in the mood to pleasure Ling Rui, although Ling Rui's question might have had a different meaning. Wang Yue didn't mind twisting some words if it served the greater good of satisfying Ling Rui.

"Okay," Ling Rui whispered.

As soon as Ling Rui slipped out of his pants and picked up a condom, Wang Yue turned around. With his ass up high in the air, face squished to the mattress, he reached back to spread his cheeks. "Fuck me." The new position served two purposes: first, riling Ling Rui up even further to make him come faster, and second, hiding Wang Yue's face and dick in case he failed to fake his pleasure.

Ling Rui yelped, embarrassed, but Wang Yue didn't miss how impatient and needy Ling Rui was, clicking his tongue as he failed to rip open the condom wrapper on the first try. Wang Yue's plan was working.

While Ling Rui put on the condom and covered his dick with lube, Wang Yue listened carefully for any sounds outside the bedroom. Fortunately, no one of their family members seemed to be awake. Still, they couldn't hurry enough. Enticingly, Wang Yue wiggled his ass. 

"Yes, yes." Ling Rui chuckled in amusement and patted Wang Yue's thigh. "I'm almost ready." 

Peeking over his shoulder, Wang Yue watched how Ling Rui stroked his cock to full hardness while thoroughly spreading the lube. Wang Yue swallowed down another wave of arousal. He loved Ling Rui's thick cock, and it had been so long since they had fucked without getting interrupted. Wang Yue almost regretted that he couldn't enjoy it tonight, but Ling Rui's well-being was more important than his own. Accepting his fate, Wang Yue turned his head back around. Hugging a pillow, he stared at the headboard.

Once he was finally done, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's hips and steadied his erection. After rubbing the tip against Wang Yue's entrance a few times, he slowly pushed inside. Wang Yue took a deep breath, trying to relax as the thick cockhead breached him. 

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered as he grabbed Wang Yue's hips with both hands, smearing lube on Wang Yue's skin. Slowly, he pushed deeper. 

Groaning, Wang Yue buried his face in the pillow. Fuck. Ling Rui's cock was so big. It felt so good, even though it bordered on being painful. Wang Yue wanted to fuck himself on it until he even forgot his own name, but he had promised himself to focus on Ling Rui today. Exhaling, he shuddered. Raising his head only far enough to rest his chin on the pillow, he stared at the headboard again. It was made from dark brown leather — smooth but boring. Wang Yue tried to focus on that as he shifted his hips, slowly getting used to the intruding feeling without getting greedy for more. 

Ling Rui whined, gripping Wang Yue's hips tighter. It was obvious that he tried to hold back. That wouldn't do. Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue rolled his hips enticingly, feeling Ling Rui's cock shifting inside him.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui gasped. Wang Yue faked a moan, trying to coax Ling Rui to move. It worked. In the next moment, Ling Rui pulled back until only the tip of his cock remained inside before quickly pushing back in, rubbing Wang Yue's prostate.

A shudder went through Wang Yue's body, and he bit down on his lower lip to keep himself grounded, burying his fingers in the pillow. Slowly, Ling Rui repeated the movement, and Wang Yue was growing anxious. Ling Rui loved a slow pace, but Wang Yue couldn't help but worry about them getting interrupted again. Should he change their positions and ride Ling Rui to speed things up? But if he used the wrong pace, it could be that Ling Rui wouldn't enjoy it enough to come. 

Subconsciously, Wang Yue tensed, clenching down on Ling Rui's cock. 

"You're so tight," Ling Rui gasped, sounding breathless.

"Only for you," Wang Yue whispered, squeezing Ling Rui's cock on purpose. 

Whining, Ling Rui increased his pace, thrusting faster and harder into Wang Yue. Maybe that was the right way to do it. Ling Rui seemed to enjoy how tight Wang Yue was. Wang Yue could do this. He couldn't do much, but he could do this. He had trust in his skills when it came to sex. Paying close attention to Ling Rui's rhythm, Wang Yue met Ling Rui's thrusts with little shifts of his hips and clenched down on his cock. 

Meanwhile, Wang Yue never stopped keeping his ears open for any suspicious sounds coming from the living room. He was afraid to hear footsteps, the toilet flushing, or a knock on the door at any moment. Filled with tension, he gripped the pillow tighter. They had to hurry up. There was no time to waste. Ling Rui had to come as quickly as possible.

"Are you feeling good?" Ling Rui asked all of a sudden.

"Huh?" Perplexed, Wang Yue blinked, releasing his grip on the pillow. His fingers almost hurt from gripping it so tightly. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

Ling Rui stopped moving, and Wang Yue immediately paled. Shit. Had he messed up again? Would he leave Ling Rui unsatisfied, even though no one had come to interrupt them? What had he done wrong this time? Hadn't he made sure to squeeze down on Ling Rui's cock, making his insides as tight as possible to please him? Or was even that not enough to satisfy Ling Rui? Did Wang Yue suck in bed? Had his confidence been baseless?

"Let me see your face," Ling Rui said, pulling back.

"No!" Panicking, Wang Yue reached back to grab Ling Rui's thighs to stop him. "I like this position!" He couldn't risk doing it the other way around. Ling Rui would notice that Wang Yue wasn't into it today and would want to stop. This wouldn't do. Quickly, Wang Yue rolled his hips, his fingers digging into Ling Rui's thighs to keep him in place. "Come on. Keep going."

"But—" Ling Rui gasped as Wang Yue squeezed down on his cock. "Are you sure you—"

"Rui-ge." Whining, Wang Yue dragged out the name, and it was enough to coax Ling Rui back into action.

Groaning, Ling Rui leaned down, pressing his chest against Wang Yue's back as he finally fucked him again, Wang Yue's shirt still pulled up to his shoulder blades. Ling Rui's breath was hot against the nape of Wang Yue's neck. Relieved, Wang Yue pulled his arms back into a more comfortable position, hugging the pillow.

"You're so quiet today," Ling Rui whispered, increasing the pace of his thrusts.

"Don't wanna risk waking anyone," Wang Yue mumbled. It wasn't too far from the truth. 

Ling Rui groaned again and buried his nose in Wang Yue's hair. Shit. When had Wang Yue washed it the last time? Yesterday? No, it had been the day before yesterday. He hadn't even showered yesterday. Hopefully, his hair wasn't greasy yet. Ling Rui inhaled deeply, and Wang Yue held his breath in fear. "But I love hearing you moan," Ling Rui said without commenting on the state of Wang Yue's hair. 

Wang Yue exhaled in relief. "Next time," he whispered, even though he neither knew when nor where the next time would be. They didn't have many occasions to fuck and even fewer to be loud while doing it. 

Instead of replying, Ling Rui only moaned, picking up the pace of his thrusts. "I'm sorry." His breathing stuttered. "I think I'm already close." He whined, frustrated as his hips lost their rhythm. "Usually, I'm not so quick, but it's been so long that—"

"It's fine." Actually, it was perfect. Wang Yue rolled his hips to meet Ling Rui's thrusts. "I want you to come." It was the truth. Wang Yue had wanted to make Ling Rui come for ages. He had thought about it several times every day after messing up twice in a row. 

"Yue'er, I—"

"You're making me feel so good," Wang Yue whispered to rile him up even more. It worked, and Ling Rui's breathing stuttered, his chest rising and falling against Wang Yue's back. Pressing his nose against the nape of Wang Yue's neck, Ling Rui muffled his sounds. He was panting harshly, the rhythm of his hips faltering as he chased his orgasm.

Wang Yue's breathing sped up, too, as he realized that Ling Rui was close to coming. He had almost reached his goal!

"Come on." Impatiently, Wang Yue rocked his hips. "Come for me," he begged.

"Yue'er!" With a choked-up gasp, Ling Rui tensed, his cock pulsing. Wang Yue held his breath —afraid to cheer too soon— but when Ling Rui flopped down on him with a satisfied sigh, Wang Yue relaxed.

He had done it. 

He had really done it.

He had made Ling Rui come.

Finally. Wang Yue had waited for that way too long. Relief rushed through him as all strength seemed to leave his body. He sighed happily as Ling Rui slowly slipped out of him. 

However, his feeling of joy quickly subsided as Ling Rui reached for his cock. 

Flinching, Wang Yue turned around and scooted further back to be out of reach.

Frowning, Ling Rui first stared at Wang Yue's face before his eyes drifted down to his half-hard cock. 

"Why aren't you—"

"I've already come!" Wang Yue exclaimed.

Ling Rui narrowed his eyes. At first, Wang Yue was confused when Ling Rui studied his stomach and the inside of his thighs before patting the sheets, but then Wang Yue realized that Ling Rui was looking for a wet spot of cum. Fuck.

Panicking, Wang Yue pulled the blanket over his lap. "It was a dry orgasm!" he blurted out without thinking, digging his own grave.

Ling Rui paused, his hand resting on the dry, clean sheets. Slowly, he raised his head. Wang Yue would never forget the look of disappointment on Ling Rui's face at that moment.

"You don't have to lie to me, Xiao Yue." Ling Rui's voice was cold and distant. Sighing, he pulled back his hand. "I thought we were over this."

"I just—"

"I've told you multiple times that I can't enjoy myself if you're not into it," Ling Rui interrupted before Wang Yue had any chance to explain himself. He was speaking faster than before. "I don't want this."

"But you did enjoy yourself, didn't you?" Wang Yue asked carefully. "You moaned and came and—"

"And I feel very guilty about it now, yes!" Ling Rui had raised his voice in anger.

"But I've done well, haven't I?" Wang Yue whispered, asking for confirmation. Why wasn't Ling Rui praising him? Wasn't he proud of him? "I've made you come! I'm a good boyfriend, right?" Wang Yue asked, almost hysterically. His breathing sped up as Ling Rui only crossed his arms, looking more displeased with every word that fell from Wang Yue's lips.

Wang Yue closed his mouth. Should he apologize? But he had only pleasured his boyfriend. What was there to apologize for? Shouldn't Ling Rui be happy? Why were they suddenly fighting? 

"I don't get what the hell your problem is," Wang Yue whispered, his eyes wide as he turned his head to stare into the distance. What had he done wrong this time? "A moment ago, you weren't complaining."

"I want you to be honest about your desires!" Ling Rui exclaimed, too loud for the late hour. Wang Yue flinched, and Ling Rui took a deep breath. As he continued to speak, his voice was more quiet but not less agitated. "I don't want you to hold back or do something you're not really up to only because you feel obligated to do it! I want you to enjoy yourself! It's okay if you are not in the mood, but then speak up about it, and we can just cuddle, or you can lend me a hand or something. But I don't want to take you when you're not in the mood for it!"

"It doesn't matter what I want," Wang Yue mumbled, resigned. It really didn't. It never had, and it never would.

"It does!" Ling Rui shouted so loudly that Wang Yue reflexively shushed him. What if someone overheard them? "It matters to me! And it should matter to you, too. I know it's not your fault that your depression makes you think and do these things, but it's really exhausting sometimes, you know that?"

Something inside Wang Yue snapped as he heard these words. He wasn't depressed. He wasn't ill in any kind of way. He was just a pathetic loser. Wallowing in self-pity, Wang Yue huffed. "Sucks to be me, I know."

Rolling his eyes, Ling Rui grabbed his pants and put them on. "I've gotta clean up and calm down before I say something I'll regret." Without further ado, he stomped out of the room.

Without moving even an inch, Wang Yue stared at the door. He had fucked up again. He was such an idiot. Ling Rui had told him several times that he only enjoyed sex if Wang Yue enjoyed it, too. Wang Yue had sabotaged their sex life often enough at the beginning of their relationship. Why was he suddenly falling back into old habits? It had gone well for a while. But then they had not fucked at all for a period, and then they had gotten interrupted twice, and—

Wang Yue slapped his cheeks as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. It stung. But the pain helped to ground him. He had no right to cry now. Self-pity was a useless emotion. How pathetic was he? He focused on his breathing. There was no time to freak out. Maybe he should apologize to Ling Rui after all. But he didn't know if he would manage to sound sincere, and his gut feeling told him that a fake apology would only make everything worse. 

But maybe he could at least make it up to Ling Rui somehow. 

Before Wang Yue could come up with any plan of action, Ling Rui had already returned. He closed the door behind him and walked to Wang Yue's side of the bed, a washcloth in his hand. 

Wang Yue blinked in surprise when Ling Rui silently pulled the blanket away and began to wipe away the lube stains he had left on Wang Yue's hips. Why was Ling Rui cleaning him up? Wang Yue didn't deserve so much care after messing up again.

"You don't have to go out of your way just because I—"

Annoyed, Ling Rui huffed and threw the washcloth to the floor, where it made a loud splatting sound. 

Shit.

Now Wang Yue had messed up for real.

Without another word, Ling Rui stepped around the bed, lay down on his right side —his back towards Wang Yue— and pulled up the blanket after turning off his bedside lamp.

The silence felt heavy. 

Wang Yue didn't know what to do. Why didn't Ling Rui understand that he didn't have to go out of his way to clean Wang Yue up? Wang Yue wasn't worth the effort. But since Ling Rui was a very clean person and probably didn't want to sleep in the same bed as someone sweaty and smelly, Wang Yue sat up and reached for the washcloth to pick it up from the floor. It smelled like soap. Thoroughly, he wiped down his whole body to make up for not using any shower gel earlier. 

Once he was done, he folded the washcloth and placed it on the nightstand. Quietly, he slipped back into his underwear. He really didn't want to make any more noise and rob Ling Rui of his sleep, but Wang Yue was afraid of letting the wet washcloth rest on the nightstand for too long. Damaging Ling Rui's furniture was the last thing Wang Yue wanted to do.

He quickly pulled on his pants in case he ran into someone else and quietly sneaked out of the room. Wang Chao was snoring on the couch. It was still difficult to navigate through the dark living room, but Wang Yue took slow, careful steps to avoid bumping against anything and accidentally making a noise that could wake someone up. He held his breath when the bathroom door creaked as he opened it.

In the bathroom, he quickly rinsed the washcloth and placed it over his towel. Afterwards, he sneaked back into Ling Rui's room and slid into bed. He made sure to lie at the edge of the mattress, leaving enough space for Ling Rui, not even daring to reach for the blanket. It was fine. Even without a blanket, this room was warmer than Wang Yue's bedroom at home.

Silently, they lay back to back without touching. Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui hadn't fallen asleep yet. His breathing wasn't deep enough. Maybe he was still mad at Wang Yue, and his thoughts kept him awake. Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip. He was such an idiot for messing things up again after finally making Ling Rui come. Wang Yue really couldn't spend five minutes without doing anything wrong.

The blanket rustled, and the mattress dipped when Ling Rui turned around. Wang Yue held his breath, feeling Ling Rui's gaze on his back.

"Can I hug you?" Ling Rui asked.

It was an unexpected question after everything that had happened, but who was Wang Yue to deny Ling Rui anything?

"If you want to," Wang Yue replied.

"Only if you want it." 

Was Wang Yue even allowed to want it? His lips trembled as he didn't dare to reply. Sheepishly, he nodded once, unsure whether or not Ling Rui would even notice. But as so often, Ling Rui was attentive enough.

The tension melted out of Wang Yue's limbs as he felt strong arms wrapping around his torso and pulling him against a reliable chest, the blanket covering them both. Closing his eyes, Wang Yue pressed his back to the warm body behind him, cupping Ling Rui's hands with his own. 

He was glad there was someone to hold him, even though he didn't deserve it.

He was glad he wasn't alone, even though he hated being a burden to Ling Rui and his family.

But Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui's company alone wouldn't be enough to solve all of his problems. It was simply too much.

Notes:

Ling Rui: Rely on me, and let me love you. (｡•́︿•̀｡)
Wang Yue: I shouldn't bother anyone, and no one loves me. ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌
the author: Waaaaang Yuuuueeeeeee (╥_╥)
the beta-reader: Wang Yueeeeee deserves all the hugs!!!!!!!!
the reader: [pls leave a comment about this chapter ♥]

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Chapter 5: Exposed (Tuesday, March 30th)

Summary:

After spending the night at the flat of Ling Rui's family, Wang Yue and Wang Chao join them for breakfast.

Notes:

Don't worry, this story will have character development, but it takes a while. Also, chapters 5-8 cover one day. It was supposed to be one chapter, but ended up being too long.

8,5k words

The first thing Wang Yue became aware of was a quiet whisper. He couldn't make out any words and was too tired to even wonder where he was or whose voice it might be. It couldn't be his brother. Wang Chao had more energy when he tried to wake up Wang Yue, loudly calling for him and bouncing on the bed to make the whole mattress wobble.

A warm hand was placed on Wang Yue's shoulder, softly shaking him.

"Xiao Yue."

"Hm?"

Frowning, Wang Yue blinked his eyes open. Someone was sitting next to him, but the light shining through the window was too bright, causing him to see nothing but a shadowy silhouette. Groaning, he closed his eyes again. 

"Breakfast will be ready in half an hour," someone whispered, stroking Wang Yue's cheek, and he finally recognized Ling Rui's voice. 

Breakfast? What a weird dream. As if Ling Rui would make breakfast for him. Wang Yue yawned and turned around to lie on his right side, pulling the blanket up higher. He inhaled deeply. The sheets smelled like a fresh breeze mixed with vanilla — Ling Rui's scent. It soothed Wang Yue.

"Are you awake?"

Wang Yue hummed.

"You're so cute." Ling Rui chuckled, ruffling Wang Yue's hair as if he were a little child. Reflexively, Wang Yue grumbled but was too tired to escape from the touch. "I'm sorry for losing my temper last night."

Last night? Wang Yue's breath came to a halt, and his eyes snapped open as he suddenly remembered everything. Gasping, he sat up straight, his vision spinning as he got dizzy from the rapid movement.

"Whoa!" Ling Rui grabbed his shoulders, and Wang Yue vaguely realized how his body stopped swaying. "Slowly."

"Sorry," Wang Yue said. Avoiding Ling Rui's gaze, he stared at his light gray pants instead, watching how the fabric of his white pullover pooled around his hips. Bright colors really suited Ling Rui. "I'm awake now. Sorry for sleeping in. Sorry about last night. Sorry for bothering—"

His string of apologies was cut off as Ling Rui pressed his lips against his. "It's okay," he whispered, his breath hot against Wang Yue's lips. 

"It's not," Wang Yue objected. How could it be okay? He had been such a burden on Ling Rui last night — not only because he was staying at his place but also because he had messed up the sex. Reflexively, Wang Yue tried to curl in on himself, pulling up his legs to wrap his arms around them. 

"It wasn't okay last night, but it is okay now." Ling Rui slowly leaned back and reassuringly squeezed Wang Yue's arms, catching his attention. "Holding a grudge will help no one." Ling Rui couldn't mean that, could he? Did he really forgive Wang Yue this easily? He was too kind for his own good. Wang Yue didn't deserve his mercy. 

Too taken aback to speak up, Wang Yue only stared at Ling Rui in disbelief. 

Ling Rui smiled softly. "If possible, I don't want this to happen again." 

Wang Yue nodded. It had never been his intention to disappoint Ling Rui like he had done more than once lately. Wang Yue would do everything in his power to avoid repeating his mistakes.

"I know it's not easy," Ling Rui whispered, "but I think we should at least try to communicate more instead of bottling everything up until it's too late. Alright?"

It sounded easier than it would be, but Wang Yue didn't have it in him to object. He agreed that it couldn't go on like yesterday. If Ling Rui continued to be unhappy in this relationship, they wouldn't be together much longer. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue nodded again. "Okay," he whispered, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. The thought of losing Ling Rui scared Wang Yue. Reflexively, he leaned forward to steal another kiss from Ling Rui, greedily pushing his tongue into Ling Rui's hot mouth. It was a selfish action, but Wang Yue's body had moved before his brain had been able to catch up.

Ling Rui reciprocated the kiss with a moan, cupping Wang Yue's cheek before leaning back again — too soon for Wang Yue's liking.

"You should get up."

If Wang Yue could, he would stay in bed with Ling Rui forever. But he knew he had to face reality sooner or later, even if he didn't want to. Sighing, he gave in. His gaze traveled to the nightstand only to realize his phone wasn't there. Had he left it in the pocket of his jacket? 

"How late is it?"

"About half past eight," Ling Rui explained. "Breakfast will be ready in about half an hour, and afterwards, we can drive to your flat to check the situation."

Wang Yue's head snapped towards Ling Rui. "What about your work?" He only realized now that Ling Rui shouldn't even be here at this hour.

"Peng Bo covered the early shift for me," Ling Rui explained, smiling. "I'll go to the hospital later and stay longer."

"You don't have to do that because of me!" Wang Yue exclaimed, panicking. Ling Rui's job was important. He shouldn't neglect it because of Wang Yue. Furthermore, Ling Rui was a morning person. He hated working in the evening or at night. "I can walk to my flat and talk to my landlord alone and—"

"Nonsense." Ling Rui flicked his finger against Wang Yue's forehead. "I won't let you carry that burden alone, Yue'er. You don't have to carry any burden on your own if you don't want to. We're dating. I'm willing to share not only our happiness but also our pain and every part of our lives with you. I'll help you as much as I can." He grabbed Wang Yue's hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles. "Promise."

Perplexed, Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui. His brain couldn't follow. Why would Ling Rui say all these things? They couldn't be true. No one could want to share all of his burdens. But Wang Yue also knew that Ling Rui wasn't a liar. It made no sense. "But—"

"I want to help you as much as I can."

"Ling Rui!" a strict voice called out. It sounded like Ling Yunzhi, Ling Rui's older aunt. "Your oil is getting too hot!"

There were some hushed voices before Ling Zhu suddenly yelled, "Just leave it to me, son!"

Ling Rui rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I've got to finish cooking before Ma banishes me from the kitchen." Sighing, he got up. "The bathroom is free if you want to freshen up a bit before breakfast. Just tell me if you need anything else," he added, rushing out of the room.

Groaning, Wang Yue dragged his hand over his face. Somehow, he felt anxious about having breakfast with Ling Rui's family. They were all very kind, but Wang Yue was always afraid to make a fool of himself somehow. But no matter how much he dreaded the situation, he couldn't avoid it. Once again, he wished he could curl up in Ling Rui's warm bed and hide from the world, but that was a luxury he couldn't afford. Wang Yue took a deep breath. It was time to get up. He slipped out of bed and put on the clothes he had borrowed from Ling Rui, messily rolling up the long pants legs.

As soon as he opened the door to leave the room, he wanted to close it again. 

"Careful, careful, careful!" Ling Zhu yelled, running towards the living room with a dishcloth and towel.

Wang Yue's eyes followed her and landed on his brother, sitting on the couch with a runny nose, hugging his legs. A mug was on the ground, tea spilling out and flowing over the polished hardwood floor.

"You didn't burn yourself, did you?" Kneeling down on the floor, Ling Zhu checked Wang Chao's hands.

"The tea wasn't hot anymore when I put it on the table!" Ling Rui called out from the kitchen.

Quickly, Wang Yue hurried to his brother and crouched down next to Ling Zhu. 

"Di! Morning!"

"Are you okay?" Wang Yue asked, checking Wang Chao for any signs of injury while ignoring the greeting.

Wang Chao shook his head and whined. "My throat hurts!" 

Fearing the worst, Wang Yue put a hand on Wang Chao's forehead. He was burning up. "Shit." 

"Shit!" Wang Chao repeated, clapping his hands. "Shit! Shit!"

Someone reprimandingly cleared their throat, and Wang Yue peeked at Ling Yunzhi. She sat at the dining table on one of the many differently colored chairs, her legs crossed. Her eyes were narrowed, averting her gaze from Wang Yue to look at Ling Rui. 

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, apologizing for his rude language. Or was she mad that he hadn't greeted her? And why was she staring at Ling Rui now? Did she want him to throw him out? "Morning," Wang Yue added quickly. He had already fucked up, hadn't he?

"Don't worry, don't worry," Ling Zhu said, patting Wang Yue's arm. "It's just some tea." That wasn't what Wang Yue had apologized for, but now he realized that he should. If he had taken better care of his brother, this wouldn't have happened.

"Sorry." His mind couldn't keep up with everything happening at once. He touched Wang Chao's forehead again. It really felt worse than yesterday. 

"Ling Rui already went to buy cold medicine this morning," Ling Zhu explained, placing the mug on the coffee table. "As soon as Chao'er has eaten breakfast, he can take some. He'll be fine again." 

"Sorry for the inconvenience," Wang Yue said towards the kitchen where Ling Rui was standing at the stove. "You could have just woken me up." Why had Ling Rui gone out of his way to do this? And how much money had he spent on that medicine? "I'll pay you back." 

"Don't worry about it," Ling Rui replied fondly. "It's the least I can do." Looking over his shoulder, he smiled at Wang Yue, dimples on his cheek. 

Ling Yunzhi's lips parted as she saw that, and her eyes snapped back to Wang Yue. He flinched, feeling uncomfortable under her piercing gaze. What was going on in her mind? Wang Yue couldn't read her at all. It was scary. Restlessly, he avoided her eyes. 

Meanwhile, Ling Zhu had picked up the mug and used the dishcloth to wipe the floor. Quickly, Wang Yue reached for the dishcloth. "I can do that." Why had he slept in? Everyone was taking care of his brother while he had lazily laid in bed. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. Taking care of Wang Chao was his responsibility.

"It's fine, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, not letting go of the cloth. "You just woke up. Why don't you go to the bathroom first, hm? I can clean up here."

"You don't have to," Wang Yue replied, trying to catch the cloth, but she wiped up the puddle on the other side where Wang Yue couldn't reach from his current position.

"I'm not so old that I can't wipe up spilled tea anymore," Ling Zhu complained.

"I never said—"

"You should listen to your elders," Ling Zhu said, and Wang Yue flinched. 

"Ma," Ling Rui dragged out the name. "Don't push him."

Wang Chao laughed and clapped his hands until he suddenly had to cough. 

"Cover your mouth when you cough," Wang Yue instructed. Grabbing Wang Chao's wrist, he tried to move his hand to his mouth, but Wang Chao only whined and averted his face, displeased, coughing again. Wang Yue felt his stomach dropping as anxiety crept up his throat. It wouldn't take much longer until Ling Rui's family would throw them out, annoyed by his brother's lack of manners because Wang Yue hadn't raised him well enough. 

"Off you go!" Ling Zhu said, nodding towards the bathroom.

Wang Yue hated the thought of letting Ling Zhu kneel on the floor to wipe up Wang Chao's mess, but his brother wouldn't stop coughing, and Wang Yue really didn't want him to spread his germs everywhere.

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled. Pulling his brother with him, he hurried towards the bathroom, feeling Ling Yunzhi's penetrating gaze on him. In his hurry, he threw the door shut too quickly, flinching as he heard the loud sound. Groaning, he leaned back against the closed door. He wouldn't survive this morning. It was too much pressure. 

Wang Chao was still coughing and whining, rubbing his running nose with his free hand. 

Sighing, Wang Yue stepped closer and turned on the faucet. "Wash your hands." He dragged Wang Chao's hands under the water while reaching for some toilet paper. Displeased, Wang Chao rubbed his hands while Wang Yue wiped his face dry and threw the paper into the toilet. He only realized now that the washing machine was running and his clothes —which he must have forgotten on the bathroom floor last night— were gone. Great. He had successfully left another bad impression on whoever had found his discarded clothes here first in the morning. 

Since there was nothing he could do about it for now, he at least used a washcloth to quickly wash Wang Chao's and his face before raking his fingers through their hair until it looked at least moderately combed. Afterwards, Wang Yue rinsed his mouth. He really missed his toothbrush.

When he opened the bathroom door again, Ling Yazhi stood in front of them with messy hair. She must have only woken up a moment ago.

"Finally!" she exclaimed. "I almost peed myself."

"Sorry!" Wang Yue apologized, quickly pulling his brother along as he pressed himself against the wall to make room for Ling Yazhi to pass by. 

"Ignore her," Ling Yunzhi said. "It's her own fault for sleeping until her bladder almost bursts."

"Da-gu." Ling Rui sighed, carrying a plate with fruits to the table. "Why are you in such a bad mood today?"

Without replying, she averted her eyes.

"It's not your fault," Ling Rui whispered as he passed by Wang Yue on his way back to the kitchen.

Sure. And how was Wang Yue supposed to believe that? She was probably pissed that Wang Yue and his brother had intruded on her home like this, acting like ill-behaved brats.

"Take a seat," Ling Rui said. "Breakfast is almost ready."

"I've gotta check my phone," Wang Yue mumbled but led Wang Chao to the table first. "Because of work," he added when he felt Ling Yunzhi's eyes on him. Why was she looking at him all the time? Was there something on his face? But he had just washed it. A shudder ran down Wang Yue's back. He felt watched as if each and every one of his movements was being judged.

"Come here, Wang Chao." Excitedly, Ling Zhu patted the empty chair next to her. "Ayi will help you with breakfast."

Wang Yue felt bad for letting her look after his brother again, but he wouldn't risk objecting to his elders again and displeasing anyone. He quickly went to the entrance area and fished his phone out of his pocket. To his surprise, he had a missed message, but it hadn't to do with work. Instead, Peng Bo had messaged him.

PB [6:11 am]:
Don't hesitate to tell me if you need help.

WY [8:57 am]:
Thanks.

Wang Yue didn't intend to rely on him but had to admit that he appreciated the offer. It was more than Meilin had done. He checked his phone again. She hadn't even messaged him. If he was honest, he hadn't expected her to. Even though they were on better terms again, she still rarely offered her help. She only liked to spend time with Wang Yue when it was convenient for her. Peng Bo, on the other hand, deserved the title of Ling Rui's best friend —Wang Yue didn't dare to call him his friend— and was always kind and attentive. They often talked when Peng Bo ordered food on late-night work shifts. Wang Yue didn't like small talk and felt uncomfortable around strangers, but Peng Bo's company was always welcome.

When Wang Yue noticed Ling Rui sitting down at the table, he quickly slipped his phone into his pants pocket, hurried to the dining table, and took his seat next to Ling Rui. He couldn't make everyone wait for him after he had already slept in. 

Wang Chao sat at the head of the table next to him, laughing happily when he spotted the fried youtiao. Wang Yue wanted to be useful, but Ling Rui and his mother were quicker, placing some youtiao and fruits on everyone's plate before Wang Yue could reach for them. Once they were done, Ling Zhu helped Wang Chao to dip the fried dough stick into his bowl of soy milk. Wang Chao smiled after taking a bite of the fried treat. Sometimes, Wang Yue wished he had more money to spoil Wang Chao the way he deserved instead of giving him oatmeal for breakfast every day.

"Thanks for letting us stay," Wang Yue said.

"Don't mention it," Ling Zhu replied. "You're always welcome."

"Don't forget Wang Chao's medicine," Ling Rui said, nodding towards a glass of water and a pill.

Ling Zhu waved her hand. "Let the boy eat first. Look how hungry he is!"

As if on cue, Wang Yue's stomach rumbled. 

"You can have as much as you want," Ling Rui nodded towards Wang Yue's plate.

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled. There was more food on his plate than he ever ate for breakfast on his own: a pile of deliciously smelling youtiaos and a variety of different fruits, all cut into perfectly even pieces. Wang Yue wasn't sure how much he could stomach, but he was hungry after only eating soup for three days. Carefully, he took a small bite from the youtiao. It was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, the taste as perfect as everything Ling Rui cooked. Without realizing it, he greedily took a larger bite, and Ling Rui chuckled happily.

"I'm glad you like it."

Wang Yue didn't dare to reply with his mouth full, so he only nodded sheepishly. If it made Ling Rui so happy to see how Wang Yue enjoyed his food, maybe it was okay for Wang Yue to indulge himself for once and accept this treat. 

"Ladies!" Ling Yazhi exclaimed, returning from the bathroom with a broad grin. Her previously disheveled hair was tied into a neat bun now, her oversized pale blue sweater hanging down from her shoulder, a pink top peeking out from beneath that matched the color of her sweatpants. "I've found something to prove that I've won our bet!" Proudly, she put her hands on her hips.

"What proof?" Ling Zhu asked at the same time as Ling Rui furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "What bet?"

Clicking her tongue, Ling Yunzhi averted her eyes. "I know."

"Aha." Ling Yazhi grinned mischievously. "Is that why you're in such a bad mood, Da-jie? You've already seen it, too."

"What proof?" Ling Zhu repeated, looking from Ling Yazhi to Ling Yunzhi and back. "What did I miss?"

Giggling, Ling Yazhi pressed a hand against her lips while pointing towards the bathroom. "There's a used condom in the trash can!" 

Coughing, Ling Rui spit out his tea, his face glowing as the tips of his ears turned beet-red. "W-what?" he exclaimed with a high-pitched yelp.

Meanwhile, Wang Yue froze. The youtiao dropped from his hand and landed in his bowl, soy milk splashing over and leaving white stains on the dark table, unnecessarily illustrating the mental image. 

Expressionless, Ling Yunzhi looked at the white drops first, then at Ling Rui, and then at Wang Yue. She narrowed her eyes.

Wang Yue wished to vanish into thin air.

"W-why are you searching the trash?" Ling Rui tried to sound reprimanding, but his voice cracked towards the end of his question.

"I didn't search for it." Ling Yazhi crossed her arms, defending herself. "I just saw it when I threw my trash away." She looked at her sister and her sister-in-law. "Anyway, I win!"

"That thing on its own isn't proof enough," Ling Yunzhi said. Ling Yazhi opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak up, Ling Yunzhi added, "But you are right anyway." Once again, she scrutinizingly studied Wang Yue's expression before looking at Ling Rui. "It's written on their faces." For a second, Wang Yue thought that she was smiling softly. But as soon as he blinked, she looked serious again. Maybe he had only imagined it. "And Ling Rui being here this morning is already proof enough. He never skipped work for Lu Fangning." 

Lu Fangning? Why were they suddenly talking about Ling Rui's ex-wife?

Ling Zhu sighed happily. "I'm glad I lost."

"Likewise," Ling Yunzhi admitted, taking a sip from her tea.

"What are you talking about?" Ling Rui demanded to know. Slowly, his embarrassment was turning into anger. And Wang Yue knew that it took a lot for Ling Rui to get angry — or at least angry enough to show it. He gulped when he remembered how mad Ling Rui had been at him last night. 

"Oh, we made a bet!" Ling Yazhi explained, putting her hands back on her hips. "Jiejie thought you had broken up, but Da-jie thought you were fake-dating — like you did with Lu Fangning. And I said you two were still dating for real!"

"What?" Ling Rui spit out the word in disbelief.

"Can you blame us?" Ling Zhu asked, patting her chest. "My poor heart. You scared me so much when you didn't bring Xiao Yue home anymore!"

"You used to talk about him all the time," Ling Yunzhi said, looking at Ling Rui. "But last week when you returned home late at night, you avoided all questions and didn't look well."

Was she talking about the night they had gotten interrupted by Wang Chao? Wang Yue could only guess what a bad mood Ling Rui must have been in afterwards.

"You've worked even more after that," Ling Yunzhi added. "Why are you neglecting your partner so much if you are in a happy relationship?" she asked reproachfully. "Work is important, but think about how your boyfriend must feel."

Why was she blaming Ling Rui for doing his job? And why would she care about Wang Yue's feelings? Furthermore, Wang Yue was the one with the unusual work hours. If it weren't for his job, he could meet Ling Rui in the late evening.

"Yes, look at him," Ling Zhu added, nodding towards Wang Yue. "He looks so sad and miserable." 

Ling Yunzhi clicked her tongue, frowning at Ling Zhu.

Wang Yue felt sick after getting called out like that by Ling Zhu. Was that why Ling Yunzhi had glared at him all morning? Had she tried to figure out whether or not he was making Ling Rui happy? Subconsciously, Wang Yue slouched his shoulders —making himself smaller— and rested his hands in his lap. He didn't like being the center of attention.

"Could you please stop making bets about my love life?!" Ling Rui exclaimed, and Wang Chao looked from one person to the next, utterly clueless about the topic of their conversation.

And had Ling Rui said love life? No, Wang Yue must have misheard. They were only dating because Ling Rui liked him for some weird reason. They had never talked about love. Wang Yue flinched when Ling Rui grabbed his hand and squeezed it, his thumb soothingly brushing over Wang Yue's skin.

"Anyway." Happily, Ling Yazhi sat down. "I won. So you two—" she smirked at Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu "—have to take over my household duties for the next four weeks."

Ling Rui stared at her in disbelief.

Ling Yunzhi rolled her eyes. "I don't mind losing. I just want Ling Rui to be happy in his relationship." When Wang Yue felt her glaring in his and Ling Rui's direction, he lowered his head to avoid her gaze. "If they are happy," she added, mumbling. "I'm not sure how long it's going to stay like this if Ling Rui continues to neglect Wang Yue."

"Da-gu!" Ling Rui complained, and Wang Yue felt a lump in his throat. Ling Yunzhi seemed to have misspoken and mixed up their names, but she was right. Wang Yue would mess this up sooner or later, failing to fulfill his duties as a boyfriend. 

"Don't take everything for granted, Ling Rui." Ling Yunzhi warned before looking back at her little sister. "And you—" She took a deep breath. "Stop rubbing your victory in my face."

"Never." Ling Yazhi grinned as she reached for a youtiao. 

"Oh." Ling Zhu looked at Ling Yunzhi. "That's why you're in such a bad mood! You knew Yazhi would be insufferable about this."

Ling Yunzhi clicked her tongue, and Ling Yazhi smirked triumphantly.

Wang Yue avoided everyone's gaze by staring at the table, counting the soy milk drops. There were fourteen. He didn't dare to look up.

Ling Rui huffed, annoyed. "I'm not talking to any of you again today." He squeezed Wang Yue's hand. Did that mean he wouldn't talk to Wang Yue either? Maybe. After all, Wang Yue was at fault as well. If he hadn't been here, Ling Rui wouldn't have needed a condom, and this whole conversation would have never happened.

"Son, please," Ling Zhu reached across the table to place a hand on Ling Rui's lower arm. "Don't be mad. I'm happy I was wrong! I'm glad you're still dating Xiao Yue. And I'm glad he and Wang Chao are finally visiting us again. I missed them." She sighed. "Even though the reason behind their sudden visit could be better."

For the first time during breakfast, Ling Yazhi's smile fell from her face, and she awkwardly cleared her throat. Apparently, she hadn't even remembered why Wang Yue was intruding on their home.

Ling Yunzhi sighed. "Enough chitchat," she said with the authority that only the head of a family had. "Let's eat."

Wang Yue felt sick. He wasn't in the mood to eat. But if he said he wasn't hungry anymore after two bites of youtiao, Ling Rui would give him that look of worry and disappointment. Wang Yue hated that look on Ling Rui. It didn't suit his beautiful face, and he had seen it too often lately. 

With a trembling hand, Wang Yue reached for an apple wedge. Ling Rui would be happy if Wang Yue ate some fruits, right? He would probably say something about vitamins being healthy. As he picked up the fruit, Wang Yue felt Ling Yazhi's gaze on him. She was staring at him, her eyes sometimes flicking to Ling Rui before going back to him. She was mindlessly chewing on her youtiao but more focused on staring than eating. Wang Yue felt his stomach drop again. Why was she staring at him like that? Had he done something wrong again? 

"Yazhi," Ling Yunzhi called out, reprimanding.

Ling Yazhi giggled. "Sorry. I'm just trying to figure out whose condom it is." She smirked, her eyes darting back and forth between Wang Yue and Ling Rui.

"Yazhi!" Ling Zhu hissed. "That's none of your business."

"None of this is your business!" Ling Rui shouted, slamming his fist on the table so hard that the tableware clattered. Wang Chao furrowed his brows as Ling Rui glared at his family. "This only concerns Xiao Yue and me. Stop being so nosy!"

"My apologies," Ling Yunzhi said, reaching for her cup of tea. "We meant no harm but I admit that it came across the wrong way."

"It's not our fault!" Ling Zhu retorted. "If Ling Rui hadn't made us worry so much, we wouldn't have had to pry. I was just anxious, so I talked about it with your aunts."

"Talking about it is one thing," Ling Rui replied, "but making bets is a whole different story!"

"He's right." Ling Yunzhi placed her cup of tea back down after taking a sip. "We went too far. My apologies."

Ling Zhu inhaled and opened her mouth to retort something, but Ling Yunzhi glared at her, causing her to keep quiet.

Sighing, Ling Rui visibly deflated. Avoiding everyone's eyes, he dipped his youtiao into his milk and continued to eat. He looked displeased.

An awkward silence filled the room. Wang Chao was the only one who remained blissfully unaware of the tension, snot running down his nose to his chin as he happily chewed on his youtiao. Wang Yue put down his apple wedge without having taken a bite and reached for his napkin to wipe Wang Chao's face clean. 

"Eat some fruits," Ling Zhu said once Wang Chao was done with his youtiao, handing him a wedge of orange. Wang Chao grumbled, but fortunately, he did as he was told. 

To everyone's surprise, Ling Yazhi still couldn't drop the topic. "I'm surprised you even were in the mood for it—" smirking, she wiggled her eyebrows as if anyone hadn't understood she was still talking about sex "—after everything that happened last night."

Ling Rui tensed, and Wang Yue hastily used the clean side of the napkin to wipe up the drops of soy milk still staining the table. He knew Ling Yazhi hadn't meant any harm, but she had hit a sore spot with these words. Even though Ling Rui had said this morning that everything was okay, he was probably still mad about Wang Yue's actions last night. 

"It's good for stress relief," Ling Zhu explained.

Wang Yue didn't know what made him more uncomfortable — listening to Ling Rui's family talking about sex or Ling Rui growing more and more tense with every passing second. Wang Yue pondered saying something to save the situation but couldn't come up with anything that wouldn't make it worse. He couldn't confirm that Ling Zhu was right —even though sex indeed was a great stress relief— because it had only caused more stress for Ling Rui last night. But he also couldn't object to Ling Zhu because Ling Yazhi would ask for more details then. And Wang Yue really couldn't say that he had only tried to please Ling Rui without thinking about his own needs.

Humming, Ling Yazhi took a sip of her tea. "I don't think I'd be in the mood for it after such an exhausting day."

Wordlessly, Ling Rui stood up, stomped to the bathroom with large strides, and slammed the door shut. His face had been tense, and Wang Yue felt ready to cry. Hadn't it been enough that he had messed up last night? Did Ling Rui's family have to remind Wang Yue of his failure and make Ling Rui miserable in the process?

"Don't worry, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, unaware of the seriousness of the situation. "He's only embarrassed to talk about this with his family." She giggled.

"I don't think that's everything," Ling Yunzhi mumbled, her scrutinizing gaze once again directed towards Wang Yue. How much did she know? It felt like she could look right into Wang Yue's soul and read his thoughts. Somehow, it reminded him of Ling Rui when he was more attentive than Wang Yue expected, discovering Wang Yue's darkest secrets.

If Ling Rui hadn't fled to the bathroom already, Wang Yue would do so now. He couldn't bear this anymore. When he had stayed with the Ling family before, the mood had never been so bad. And even though no one had openly accused him, Wang Yue felt responsible for everything. If he hadn't stayed overnight, Ling Rui would have gone to work like normal this morning, and his family wouldn't have any spicy topics to discuss. 

"They are fine," Ling Yazhi said. "They are dating, they use condoms, they are happy! What more do you want?" 

"Are they?" Ling Yunzhi asked, not specifying which of Ling Yazhi's statements she doubted. 

Wang Yue gulped. If she really was as perceptive as Ling Rui, she might have realized that Ling Rui wasn't happy lately because Wang Yue kept messing up. "Sorry," he whispered for a lack of words, staring at the table. He had his hands in his lap, grabbing his thighs so tightly it hurt. He tried to focus on breathing to avoid getting a panic attack. 

He felt seen. 

He felt judged. 

He felt sick. 

Ling Rui had always had such a wonderful relationship with his family, and now he couldn't even enjoy breakfast with them anymore — only because of Wang Yue.

Distantly, he noticed Ling Yunzhi saying something, but his brain couldn't make out her words. He didn't know whether or not he felt relieved when he heard Ling Rui returning from the bathroom. When Ling Rui sat down, he stroked Wang Yue's upper arm. His palm felt warm through the fabric of Wang Yue's shirt — the shirt he had borrowed from Ling Rui. 

Ling Rui said something, his voice soft and melodic, but Wang Yue couldn't make out the words. Knowing Ling Rui, he had probably asked if Wang Yue was alright.

Wang Yue wasn't alright. But neither admitting it nor lying about it would lead to anything good because he knew that Ling Rui and Ling Yunzhi would see through his facade immediately. He was too churned up to put on a poker face. What was he supposed to say if every reply would only make things worse? 

"Xiao Yue?"

Everyone's eyes were on him. It was too much pressure. His mind was spinning.

Without thinking, Wang Yue got up and fled to the bathroom on shaky legs. As he closed the door behind him, it was as if he still felt everyone's gaze on him. He heard Ling Rui angrily raising his voice before his mother loudly responded. Wang Yue crouched down and pressed his hands against his ears. He couldn't understand what they were talking about but didn't want to hear it anyway. He didn't want to witness how he destroyed the harmony of this peaceful family. 

Wang Yue tried to think about other things — like breathing. He had learned that. He knew he had to focus on breathing when he felt like freaking out. He couldn't afford to break down now — not before getting back to his flat and meeting his landlord. 

Remembering last night's events and imagining the state of his flat didn't help Wang Yue to calm down. With a groan, he pulled on his hair. Screw breathing! He would simply focus on the stinging pain until it suddenly turned dull. Yeah. That was better. Not feeling anything was the best. Who said he had to keep fighting all the time? Why couldn't he just give in for once without caring about the consequences? 

Someone called Wang Yue's name.

He barely recognized Ling Rui's voice. It sounded muffled and far away. Wang Yue tried to sharpen his senses.

"Are you alright?"

Fine. Had he said that out loud or not? He wasn't sure. His ears were buzzing. But he didn't hear Ling Rui talking anymore, so Wang Yue must have managed to reassure him. Everything was dark. Had he closed his eyes? Whatever. Ling Rui didn't have any reason to worry about him anymore. Wang Yue had done well. He didn't need to do anything else. He could just let go and—

Wang Yue's lungs hurt as he suddenly gasped for air. He felt dizzy. He was scared. Why was he scared? Where was he? Reflexively, he reached out for something —anything— and bumped his hand against something. Blinking, he tried to focus his eyes. He saw a hand. He saw tiles. The tiles belonged to a wall. They were white. Was it his hand? Had he knocked it against the wall? Oh. He was lying on the floor. When had that happened? Hadn't he been crouching down? Suddenly, there was more distance between his hand and the wall. But he hadn't moved. Had the wall moved? No, that couldn't be. Walls didn't move.

Wang Yue groaned, closing his eyes. Was he hallucinating? He really needed to learn to get his shit together instead of having panic attacks all the time for no good reason. Did he have a panic attack? It was scary. He shook his head. Something wasn't right. Was he trembling? Maybe this was just a nightmare. He did feel like he was floating, drifting between reality and dream. It almost felt like this morning when he woke up — just less comfortable for some reason. 

Breathe, a voice reminded him.

That was weird. Usually, the voice inside his head didn't sound so nice. Wang Yue breathed. He opened his eyes and stared at his hand again. It was less scary when he saw things. His hand still lay on the floor, and when he curled his fingers, he saw them moving. He shouldn't be so fascinated by that, but once he had lost his grip on reality it felt weird when it returned. It was like his brain slowly became aware of all the connections. His hand was connected to his body. His eyes were also connected to his body. The pain was also connected to his body. Ah. He really must have knocked his hand against the wall with too much force. Had he fallen after all?

"Just like that. You're doing great. Keep breathing."

Wang Yue frowned. This couldn't be the voice inside his head. It never praised him for doing something right. His fingers twitched. He saw it. His eyes traveled from his hand over his arm. It went slightly upwards. He wasn't lying on the floor anymore. At least, his head and shoulders seemed to be elevated. 

Oh.

Suddenly, Wang Yue became aware of the warm presence of another body. Turning his head, he stared up into Ling Rui's face. Ling Rui's eyebrows were furrowed with worry.

"Yue'er?"

"Uh-huh. That's me." What a dumb thing to say. Wang Yue blinked, realizing that his head was resting in Ling Rui's lap. When had that happened? Since when was Ling Rui even here? "I'm fine. I'm sorry." Sluggishly, he tried to get up, but his legs only twitched, not listening to his command. He tensed his muscles but barely even managed to lift his head, searching for his legs with his eyes. They rested on the closed toilet lid. Why? The world was spinning, and he flopped back down, relaxing his muscles. "Sorry," he repeated, closing his eyes. Ling Rui's lap was warm and comfortable. Hopefully, Wang Yue wouldn't wrinkle Ling Rui's pants. "Did I pass out? I'm dizzy. Why are you even here? Weren't you having breakfast?" Why was he babbling so much?

"You were gone for so long that I got worried," Ling Rui explained. "And when I called for you, you didn't reply, so I came in to check on you. I'm not sure when exactly you fainted or why."

"Oh." Wang Yue took another deep breath. He shouldn't make Ling Rui worry about him like that. "I said I was fine when you called."

"I didn't hear anything," Ling Rui replied, and Wang Yue knew Ling Rui didn't have any reason to lie. Maybe Wang Yue had failed to speak up after all.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," Ling Rui replied, squeezing Wang Yue's shoulder. "You didn't hit your head when you fell, did you?"

"Nah," Wang Yue denied. "I was crouching down, and then I—" His voice trailed off as his memory left him. He tried to make a vague gesture with his hand but hissed when he moved his fingers, feeling a jolt of pain.

"What is it?" Ling Rui asked, his voice filled with worry.

Wang Yue hummed. He felt drowsy. "Might have knocked my hand against something. I don't remember."

"Which one?"

How was Wang Yue supposed to tell right from left? He felt something getting lifted from his stomach. Oh. So that's where his other hand had been. He had started to wonder. As soon as he became aware of Ling Rui's warm hands holding his hand —turning and touching it— the feeling was already gone, and his hand was placed back on his body. It was his left hand. He was almost proud to realize it.

His other arm —it had to be the right one, Wang Yue concluded— was grabbed and lifted, his hand hanging down, and, yeah, that hurt a bit. 

"Right hand," Wang Yue mumbled to reply to Ling Rui's previous question. He hissed as something brushed over his knuckles. Was that the spot that hurt the most?

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered but didn't stop dragging his thumb over Wang Yue's knuckles, examining them. "It's red and slightly swollen, but I think your bones are fine." He sighed in relief.

"Of course, they are fine. I've hit my hand, not my bones, silly Doctor Ling."

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head?" Suddenly, Wang Yue's right hand was placed on his stomach next to his left one, and Ling Rui's fingertips pressed against Wang Yue's head as if searching for something. "You're still pretty out of it."

"Am I?"

"You just called me silly."

Wang Yue paused. Had he? Furrowing his brows, he tried to recall their conversation. Shit. Shocked, he ripped his eyes open and reflexively tried to sit up, but Ling Rui immediately pressed a hand against his upper chest, pushing him back down. Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui's face above him. "Sorry. You're not silly. I'm silly."

"Don't worry," Ling Rui said reassuringly. His eyes were still on Wang Yue's head, his fingers brushing through Wang Yue's long hair. "I know you didn't mean it."

"I didn't hit my head," Wang Yue said, and Ling Rui's eyes snapped towards him. "You're checking for an injury, right? I didn't hit my head."

"What's your name?"

"Wang Yue."

"Where are you?"

"On your bathroom floor."

"How did you get here?"

"Couldn't stand the pressure during breakfast anymore and fled to avoid messing things up even more."

They both paused.

"And I know I usually don’t easily admit such things." Wang Yue frowned. "Maybe I did hit my head," he mumbled.

"No," Ling Rui replied, chuckling quietly. "You're fine." He stroked Wang Yue's cheek. "Sorry about my family." He sighed. "They are exhausting lately."

"It's fine."

"It's not." Ling Ru groaned. "Sorry. I really shouldn't burden you with that right now. I'll make sure they apologize to you later."

"Don't bother," Wang Yue whispered. "Addressing it will only make it worse again."

Ling Rui sighed but gave in. For a moment, it was quiet. 

"We should cool your hand," Ling Rui said. "At least with water."

"I wanna wash my face," Wang Yue whispered. Some cold water often did wonders.

"Let's wait another moment until the dizziness subsides."

"Okay." For once, Wang Yue agreed, even though he wasn't sure whether or not he was still dizzy. But Ling Rui was a doctor — a good one, not a silly one. Wang Yue should listen to him in these situations. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to give in to exhaustion for a while. It didn't take long, though, until his thoughts bothered him, reminding him that he had to leave soon to meet his landlord. Restless because he had lost track of time, he opened his eyes. "I've gotta go."

"Unfortunately," Ling Rui whispered but helped him to sit up. "Take it slow."

"I'm fine." Wang Yue took a deep breath. It was okay. He had passed out often enough in his life to recognize the signs. He wouldn't faint again right now. Why had he even been so scared earlier? Passing out really wasn't a new feeling, but somehow, losing control over his body when he was about to black out always scared him. But it was alright now. It wouldn't happen again. Wang Yue would continue to breathe, and everything would be fine. "Sorry for worrying you."

"I'm sorry it even came to this."

"It's not your fault," Wang Yue immediately said. 

"It's not your fault either," Ling Rui replied with a stern gaze. Wang Yue sighed. It was difficult to believe, but fighting about who was guilty of what wasn't worth the effort. If he were honest, he had to admit that he didn't know what had caused him to lose consciousness. Had it been a panic attack or something else? His body and mind had probably simply been too weak. Other people didn't pass out as quickly as he did. But Wang Yue really didn't need to remind Ling Rui of his flaws. Agreeing with him would be easier.

"Okay," Wang Yue whispered, and Ling Rui smiled. 

Ling Rui helped him to stand up, an arm wrapped around Wang Yue's waist. Being pressed against Ling Rui's reliable body felt good, his white pullover unbelievably soft. 

"Tell me immediately if you get dizzy again or feel nauseous," Ling Rui said, as always worrying too much.

"Yeah." Wang Yue turned on the faucet and held his right hand under the cold water. His knuckles were red but didn't hurt as much anymore as they had before. It would probably be fine again after a few more minutes. Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue leaned down to splash some water on his face. The coldness felt good. Relaxing, he raised his head and looked into the mirror. Ling Rui stood next to him, smiling softly and holding out a fresh towel, his other arm still wrapped around Wang Yue's waist. "Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled. He dabbed his face dry before deciding to splash it with more cold water.

"Your clothes are still in the washing machine, so I'll get you some pants to wear outside," Ling Rui explained. "I don't mean to push you, but if we want to arrive on time, we've gotta leave soon."

"It's okay," Wang Yue replied before splashing his face once more. He was starting to feel alive again.

"Do you want a pullover or sweatshirt?"

"Don't bother," Wang Yue mumbled. Ling Rui already had enough laundry to do because of him. "The shirt is enough."

Ling Rui hesitated shortly before giving in. "I'll be back in a second." 

Wang Yue hated that he had to rely on Ling Rui so much but didn't have any other choice. He splashed more water into his face, his fingers almost freezing by now. A shudder went down his back. After turning off the faucet, he reached for the towel to dry his face and hands.

Ling Rui returned with a pair of denim jeans that looked old and worn out, and Wang Yue couldn't help but relax when seeing them. He probably would have freaked out if he had to wear some of Ling Rui's expensive fancy-looking slacks. Wang Yue quickly shed his sweatpants, letting them fall to the floor, the fabric pooling around his ankles until he stepped out of them. When he raised his leg to slip into the jeans, he swayed, and Ling Rui had to steady him. Wang Yue hated himself for still being so unsteady on his feet. He really owed Ling Rui a lot for these last twelve hours.

As they left the bathroom, everyone's heads turned towards them, different levels of worry on their faces.

"Is everything alright?" Ling Zhu asked.

"Yes, Ma," Ling Rui replied in Wang Yue's stead. 

"I'm fine," Wang Yue added anyway, hoping that would quell all questions. He didn't like being the center of attention like that.

"Sit down," Ling Rui whispered, pushing Wang Yue to take a seat at the dining table. "I'll get you some shoes," he explained. "Yours are in the washing machine."

"Oh. Okay." Wang Yue had forgotten how wet and dirty his sneakers had been. Of course, Ling Rui had washed them, too. 

"Do you already know how long you'll stay with us, Xiao Yue?" Ling Zhu asked.

"Uh." Awkwardly, Wang Yue cleared his throat. "We'll be leaving now. Don't worry." He should probably help Wang Chao to change out of that pajama. 

"Oh." Ling Zhu chuckled. "No, no. I meant how many days you'll stay."

"Days?" Wang Yue repeated in disbelief. "We won't—"

"You can't move back into your flat today," Ling Yunzhi said with so much conviction that Wang Yue felt his heart drop. "It takes time to dry a building after such huge water damage, and the dehumidifiers are too loud. And don't underestimate how long it takes to repair the pipes and renovate the building."

Wang Yue already felt dizzy again after hearing this. How had he not considered all of that before? What was he supposed to do? He couldn't stay here any longer. He had already messed up so much and disturbed this happy family and—

"Take it one step at a time." Ling Rui said, putting a warm hand on Wang Yue's shoulder while placing something on the floor. "We'll go and take a look at the flat before deciding anything else."

Wang Yue took a deep breath. That sounded reasonable. He nodded.

"Yes, do that," Ling Zhu said. "And don't worry about Chao'er. I'll be home all day and make sure he gets plenty of rest to recover from his cold."

Wang Yue already felt indebted to Ling Zhu, but he couldn't deny that it took a huge load from his shoulders. He really didn't want to drag Wang Chao back to the flat before seeing the state it was in. No need to risk traumatizing Wang Chao.

"Thank you," Wang Yue whispered. "I'll make it up to you somehow."

"Nonsense." Ling Zhu smiled. "You're both part of our family. We help each other out."

Wang Yue didn't understand why Ling Zhu thought of him and his brother as family members, but he didn't have time to object since Ling Rui nudged his shoulder and nodded towards a pair of black sneakers. At least it wasn't a color that would get dirty easily.

"We've gotta go."

"Yeah." Wang Yue put on the shoes while sitting, not fully trusting his legs yet. 

"Do you want to take some youtiaos with you to eat on the way?" Ling Rui asked, but the mere thought of food made Wang Yue's stomach turn.

Quickly, he shook his head, annoyed when a strand of hair poked his eye. He tucked it behind his ear.

Ling Rui sucked in a sharp breath, and his mother and aunts furrowed their brows in confusion, but Wang Yue really couldn't stomach any food right now — not even for the sake of pretending to have healthy eating habits.

Hopefully, his flat wouldn't be in such a bad state as Ling Yunzhi expected. As long as Wang Yue could return to it later along with his brother, everything would be fine.

But first, he had to meet his landlord.

 

Notes:

Yes, I'm making Wang Yue suffer a bit too much on this day. And this was only just the beginning.

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Chapter 6: A moment of strength (Tuesday, March 30th)

Summary:

Wang Yue meets his landlord and checks the amount of damage the water did to his flat. What could possibly go wrong? :D

Notes:

That one chapter that somehow miraculously barely needed any editing. It even had a title. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ling Rui's outfit is totally stolen from Begin Again episode 26.

6,5k words

The drive to Wang Yue's flat felt awkward. 

Ling Rui hadn't changed out of his white pullover and light gray pants, but had put on a light blue coat over a light gray jacket. Wang Yue assumed he was wearing the new coat because his beige coat was too dirty after last night. He kept peeking at Wang Yue from the corner of his eye, his jaw tense as his hands gripped the steering wheel more tightly than usual. He was worried, and Wang Yue couldn't blame him for it. In the last twelve hours, Wang Yue had called him while having a panic attack, had failed to come during sex, and had skipped breakfast only to faint afterwards — although these last two events might be unrelated. The only good thing was that Ling Rui didn't know Wang Yue hadn't eaten enough these last few days either. But something told Wang Yue that Ling Rui had managed to put two and two together already.

No matter what happened at his flat now, Wang Yue had to make sure to keep his composure and reassure Ling Rui that he would be fine on his own for the rest of the day. Because Wang Yue wouldn't accept it if Ling Rui offered to skip work only because he was worried about him. Ling Rui loved his job, and it was an important job. People's lives were on the line. And from what Wang Yue knew, some of Ling Rui's colleagues were still sick, so Ling Rui had to fill in and take over their work. Therefore, whatever Wang Yue's landlord might tell him, it wouldn't justify Ling Rui skipping work. And Wang Yue knew that, deep down, Ling Rui didn't even want to skip work no matter how stressful it was. 

"When does your work shift start?" Wang Yue asked if only to make sure Ling Rui arrived on time.

Ling Rui parted his lips and inhaled, a protest ready on the tip of his tongue, but Wang Yue beat him to it.

"You can't afford to be late after you've already canceled your morning shift at the last minute."

Sighing, Ling Rui gave in. "It's fine if I arrive between 12 and 1 o'clock."

"Got it." So they had two to three hours. It should be more than enough. There wouldn't be much to discuss with his landlord, right? Maybe make an appointment for some workmen to drop by during the next few days for some minor repairs, hopefully a rent reduction due to the inconveniences, and that was it. Wang Yue buried his nose in his scarf and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling up inside him that told him it wouldn't be so easy.

You can't move back into your flat today, Ling Yunzhi's words reverberated inside Wang Yue's head. Just because she was very knowledgeable, didn't mean she was always right. She could be wrong about this. She had to be wrong about this. She couldn't be right. If she were right, Wang Yue wouldn't have a place to sleep tonight because he sure as hell couldn't impose on the Ling family again for who-knew-how-many days. Ling Zhu wouldn't want it either. She might have taken a liking to Wang Chao and said that she had missed him, but that didn't mean she'd like to be stuck with him for days. 

And Wang Yue really wouldn't want Ling Yazhi to keep teasing and exposing Ling Rui like she had this morning. No, that wouldn't do. Wang Yue's flat had to be alright. It was just a little water. Nothing too bad could have happened, right? If he was lucky, even Wang Chao's favorite picture book would be alright. Who knew? Maybe Wang Yue had remembered to clean up for once and put it on the top of the shelf. Everything would be alright. His flat wouldn't have too much water damage. He wouldn't have to buy new furniture. Wang Chao's things would all be intact. Wang Yue wouldn't have to spend any money, which he obviously didn't have and—

"Talk to me, Yue'er!"

"What?" Gasping, Wang Yue blinked and turned his head towards Ling Rui. He only now realized that Ling Rui was squeezing his shoulder, his expression torn as he visibly had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road instead of staring at Wang Yue.

Ling Rui took a deep breath. "You were spacing out again."

"Oh."

"You scared me," Ling Rui whispered.

"Sorry." Wang Yue only now realized how breathless he was. Had he forgotten to breathe again? He was so stupid. He took a deep breath. Why couldn't his body function on its own like other people's bodies? He shouldn't have to remember breathing — his body should do it naturally.

"What's on your mind?"

Ling Rui had to pull his hand back to shift gears before taking a corner. Wang Yue's shoulder felt cold without Ling Rui's touch.

"Just worried about the state of my flat, I guess," Wang Yue mumbled. He could at least admit that much without worrying Ling Rui even further, couldn't he? Ling Rui was pretty attentive and smart. He should have guessed that much on his own already.

"I know it's easier said than done, but try not to overthink ahead of time," Ling Rui advised. "Let's take a look first."

"Yeah."

"I'm with you, Xiao Yue. No matter how good or bad it turns out to be."

That was also easier said than done. Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip, some scraps of dried skin getting caught on his teeth. He didn't question the sincerity of Ling Rui's words, but what if Ling Rui changed his opinion later? Maybe, once he saw how bad Wang Yue's flat looked, he'd decide that he couldn't afford the time and effort to deal with it. He was already busy enough in his life. He didn't need any additional stress. And even if Ling Rui wanted to be with Wang Yue, the past had proven over and over again that they barely had any time together. Wang Yue should better be prepared to face this problem alone.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Ling Rui asked, too attentive again. Sometimes, it felt like he could read Wang Yue's thoughts. It was scary.

"I'm trying to," Wang Yue murmured before shaking his head. "I do."

"But?"

Clicking his tongue, Wang Yue averted his face. He rested his elbow against the window, hand supporting his head. Outside, everything was covered by a thin layer of frost, glistening in the sun. "I'm afraid you might change your mind with time," he mumbled.

"I'm trying not to," Ling Rui replied, mirroring Wang Yue's words. "I won't."

Licking his lips, Wang Yue tried to believe it was true.

"Tell me if I ever need to repeat myself to reassure you. I don't mind saying it over and over again until it's firmly anchored in your head. I'll never grow tired of repeating myself for you."

Warmth surrounded Wang Yue's heart, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. He wanted to believe in these words but couldn't help but remember last night when Ling Rui had been fed up with him and his depression. Wang Yue still hated that word. He wasn't depressed. It sounded like a disease, but Wang Yue wasn't sick. He was only negative, weak, and pathetic — and maybe also a bit self-destructive from time to time, but mostly in the form of neglecting his diet. He wasn't depressed. 

"Sounded differently last night," Wang Yue said because he wasn't only self-destructive, but also sabotaged his relationship whenever he could.

"I know. And I'm still very sorry about losing my temper like that. That was neither fair nor right of me, and I can only hope you'll forgive me one day. I'm sorry, Yue'er. I'll do my best so it won't happen again."

Wang Yue's lips parted in disbelief, and he turned his head to stare at Ling Rui. He looked sincere. 

"I'm not mad at you," Wang Yue said, and Ling Rui's eyes darted towards him for a second before flicking back to the road. "I forgive you." Wang Yue had been very pathetic last night. Ling Rui had every right to vent his anger and give it to Wang Yue straight, even though Wang Yue did hate getting called depressed. "I should be sorry for making you mad in the first place." Wang Yue cleared his throat. "Sorry."

Ling Rui pressed his lips together as if he would say something he might regret otherwise. His eyes darted back to Wang Yue for another moment, throwing him the same scrutinizing gaze as Ling Yunzhi had all morning, trying to read Wang Yue's mind. Last night, Wang Yue hadn't apologized because he hadn't understood Ling Rui's problem. And this morning, he had uttered a string of apologies, but Ling Rui had probably realized that it had happened subconsciously and not because Wang Yue had thoroughly reflected on his actions. Even now, he wasn't entirely sure why Ling Rui had been so mad, and judging by Ling Rui's stern expression, Ling Rui knew what was going on in Wang Yue's head. 

"Alright," Ling Rui whispered eventually. He took a deep breath and smiled softly. "Thank you."

Wang Yue didn't have any more time to ponder over this conversation because Ling Rui parked the car a few houses down the street from Wang Yue's flat. It was time for a reality check. 

Wang Yue got out of the car and buried his nose in his scarf. Only wearing his denim jacket over Ling Rui's shirt hadn't been Wang Yue's smartest decision. It was cold. He shivered.

When they walked down the street, Wang Yue already felt his stomach sinking. The entrance to the building was covered with that red and white barrier tape he only knew from movies. His chubby landlord Zhao Jun was standing in front of the house with a grumpy expression, his arms crossed. His thick, dark blue scarf was pulled up to his nose, and his black cap was pulled down to his bushy eyebrows. It was obvious after one short glance that he didn't deal well with the cold and didn't want to be here. Well, Wang Yue didn't mind. He had never gotten along with the guy and wouldn't mind if their conversation was cut short because Zhao Jun wanted to return home as soon as possible. Wang Yue wasn't feeling any different. He also couldn't wait to get back home and forget about this chaos. 

Taking a deep breath, he walked over and stood next to his other neighbors who had already gathered. They moved to the side when they noticed him, leaving some space between them. A quick look at his phone told Wang Yue that he had arrived five minutes early. Good. At least no one could complain about him being late.

"Oh, look who's finally here," Zhao Jun mumbled instead of greeting Wang Yue. 

"Always the last one," his grumpy neighbor huffed and crossed his arms.

Well, so much for no one being able to pick on him. Wang Yue forced himself to keep his expression neutral instead of replying. He didn't take it to heart. These people hated him, and Wang Yue had given up on getting along with them. Sometimes, he wished to tell them off, but there was no point in adding fuel to the fire. He had better things to do in his life than fight with strangers.

Zhao Jun peeked at Ling Rui and furrowed his brows but seemed to stop caring a moment later. He buried his hands in his pockets and raised his head until his mouth wasn't covered by his scarf anymore. Beard stubble covered his chin and cheeks.

"It doesn't look good," Zhao Jun said, and as if that weren't telling enough already, he added, "looks like shit, actually."

"What do you mean?" one of Wang Yue's neighbors asked.

"It will take forever ta get everythin' dry and repair the pipes. At least a week, prob'ly two, maybe three." He sighed loud and open-mouthed.

Wang Yue took a deep breath and grabbed the hems of his jacket sleeves. This had to be a joke. It would take so long? 

"So y'all can't live here for a while," Zhao Jun explained. "Ya'd just get in the way when the workmen do their work, and there isn't any water supply either, so—" He shrugged his shoulders. "Just move in with some relatives for a while, would ya?"

"That's it?" Wang Yue blurted out in disbelief. Had that guy seriously told them that they couldn't move into their homes for —worst case scenario— three weeks? 

"Yeah, that's it." Zhao Jun crossed his arms again. "Oh, no, wait." With a glare that promised nothing good, he turned towards Wang Yue. "One more thin'." 

Zhao Jun came closer, and Wang Yue reflexively took a step back. Had that guy never heard anything about personal space? 

"One more thin' concernin' ya." Zhao Jun angrily spat out his words, pointing at Wang Yue, even though they stood so close. "Cause ya just had ta make somethin' that's already bad enough even worse." He expressed his anger by pointing at Wang Yue with every word he spoke, stepping closer and closer while pushing Wang Yue further back. It almost looked like he intended to stab Wang Yue with his finger.

"W-what?" Panic crept up Wang Yue's throat. His legs trembled as he retreated further. What had he done? He hadn't done anything this time! He hadn't even been there when it happened. 

"Ya think this whole shit isn't already expensive enough for me, huh?" Zhao Jun exclaimed, his voice loud and his breath smelling like alcohol. 

Disgusted, Wang Yue took another step back. He didn't even want to imagine how expensive this water damage would be for himself —much less for the landlord and owner of the building— but Wang Yue really didn't know what it had to do with him. He hadn't done anything to make it worse. If it were any other person, Wang Yue would just tell them off, but he couldn't do it in this situation. He needed this flat. He was dependent on this landlord, no matter how much of an asshole he was.

"D'ya have any idea how yer door looks after they had to break it down 'cause yer freakin' brother was too stupid ta get out on his own?!"

Wang Yue paled. He had completely forgotten about that. Someone had told him the firefighters would break down his door to get Wang Chao out, but Wang Yue hadn't even thought about the financial consequences of it. He had only thought about saving his brother as quickly as possible.

"It's torn to pieces!" Zhao Jun exclaimed, making Wang Yue flinch. He wildly gesticulated with his arms, his face twisted with anger. "Do ya have any idea how much this will cost?!" Angrily, he stomped closer, raised his fist, and—

Wang Yue closed his eyes, expecting to get hit in the face, but the impact and pain never came. Instead, he only heard a shocked gasp.

"If you touch him, you will regret it," Ling Rui threatened with a darker voice than Wang Yue had ever heard coming from him. 

Surprised, Wang Yue opened his eyes. Ling Rui was standing halfway in front of him, chin up, chest out. His light-colored clothes made him glow in the sun like a knight in shining armor. He made good use of his height advantage, staring down at Zhao Jun with narrowed eyes. Wang Yue gulped. He had never seen Ling Rui so angry before. It shouldn't be as arousing as it was. 

Zhao Jun paused, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something before pressing his lips together. He glared at Ling Rui, but after a moment, he cleared his throat and took a step back. It almost looked as if he was intimidated. "And who the fuck are ya?" he spat out the question without daring to look into Ling Rui's eyes. Instead, he glared at Wang Yue again.

Protectively, Ling Rui stepped to the side to completely hide Wang Yue from Zhao Jun's gaze. "I'm Doctor Ling, head surgeon of the local hospital. I'm Xiao Yue's boyfriend," Ling Rui declared without even a hint of shame.

"A doctor?" one of Wang Yue's neighbors whispered to another.

"But why would a handsome man like him—" The gossip died on the woman's lips as Ling Rui threw her a stern glare.

"A doctor, huh?" Zhao Jun huffed, and Wang Yue peeked over Ling Rui's shoulder. "Well, he certainly needs one." Zhao Jun spat out some saliva from the corner of his mouth. It landed on the ground with a splash. Wang Yue was surprised that Ling Rui had neither followed it with his eyes nor contorted his face in disgust. Instead, he still stared at Zhao Jun with a serious gaze.

"Care to repeat that?" Ling Rui asked, his voice calm but dark.

"Hmpf. That pair of imbecile brothers needs more than a doctor."

"Should I sue you for insults now or later?" Ling Rui threatened, making Zhao Jun's eyes warily snap away. "Also, don't even think about charging Xiao Yue for that broken door. The cost will be covered by your building insurance like every other part of the house, too."

Zhao Jun clicked his tongue and took another step back. "I never said that he had ta come up for it," he mumbled, even though everyone knew that this had been his intention. 

"Good." Ling Rui put on a smile, but somehow, he didn't look less threatening than before, his eyes still burning with rage. "And I'm sure you know that since you can't fulfill your part of the rental agreement on such short notice for possibly up to three weeks, your tenants won't have to pay any rent next month."

"Are ya a doctor or a lawyer, huh?" Zhao Jun demanded to know.

"Try me and find out," Ling Rui replied with so much threat and self-confidence in his tone of his voice that Zhao Jun paled.

It was silent.

No one dared to say a word as everyone expectantly stared at Zhao Jun.

"Whatever!" Zhao Jun exclaimed and waved his hand. "No rent for April, alright, alright." He turned around and nodded towards the house. "I don' want any of ya comin' back here every day for a new pair of socks, botherin' the workmen. They need space to work anyway. So grab all yer shit and then get lost. The workmen will be here in two hours. I'll call ya when the repairs and renovations are done next month."

Wang Yue was still rooted in place as he watched his other neighbors rushing into the building and shoving each other like old ladies at the seasonal clearance sale. He couldn't believe this had happened. Firstly, because no one had ever dared to talk to the landlord like that, and secondly, because Ling Rui had never been this dominating and protective before.

"That was sexy as fuck, Doctor Ling," Wang Yue blurted out, his brain-to-mouth filter apparently still damaged after fainting earlier this morning.

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed, flustered, suddenly looking like a completely different person. It was so adorable. Wang Yue snorted. But he still didn't know how to handle the warm feeling surrounding his heart. 

"Thanks," he whispered sincerely. "For standing up for me, I mean."

Ling Rui's expression softened. "Always, Yue'er." His eyes flicked to the side, checking if everyone else was away far enough so he wouldn't be overheard. "That guy deserved much worse," he hissed, a hint of anger seeping back into his voice.

"I just hope you didn't piss him off too much," Wang Yue mumbled. It wasn't his intention to protect the guy, but Wang Yue was afraid of the consequences this might have. If his landlord decided to get revenge, Wang Yue would be at his mercy.

"Don't worry," Ling Rui said reassuringly. "Fangning knows enough lawyers."

Sometimes, Wang Yue forgot that Ling Rui was rich and had connections to even richer people. Money really made life easier, didn't it? Wang Yue couldn't afford any lawyer, though, and didn't have any rich friends who could. "You're safe then."

"You're safe, too, Xiao Yue." 

"But I—"

"Whatever that guy tries to pull, tell me immediately." With a serious expression, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "We won't let him make you pay for anything you are not responsible for."

"Like that door?" Trembling, Wang Yue averted his eyes. "I didn't even know who had to pay up for it." Wang Yue felt stupid for not knowing. "I thought I had to—"

"It's fine, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui explained. "I only knew because a colleague told me once after being in a similar situation."

"Oh."

"Anyway." Ling Rui dropped his hands and turned towards the building. "We only have two hours. So let's go and pack up your things."

"You don't have to help me," Wang Yue said, hurrying after Ling Rui, who had already started walking towards the building. 

"Nonsense," Ling Rui brushed him off, entering the house. "Of course, I'll help you." They went up the stairs. "We'll be quicker if we do it together, and it's easier to transport things in my car than on your bike."

"I don't even—"

Wang Yue stopped in the middle of the staircase when he realized that he didn't even have a place to stay for two weeks. He didn't have any relatives or friends who would take him in. Where was he supposed to store his things? They couldn't stay in Ling Rui's car. And what about Wang Chao? It was still so cold. Wang Yue could manage to sleep on a park bench for a few nights, but Wang Chao needed a warm home and—

"Careful!" 

Wang Yue gasped as he lost his balance and almost fell down the stairs before a strong hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards a reliable body. The scent of vanilla and fresh laundry detergent hit him, telling him that Ling Rui had pulled him close. It should have been obvious. Who else would save him?

"Don't space out in the middle of the way!" Wang Yue's grumpy neighbor exclaimed, hurrying down the stairs with a heavy-looking suitcase.

"Are you alright?" Ling Rui asked, one hand still wrapped around Wang Yue's wrist and the other one around his waist.

"Yeah," Wang Yue whispered. He really needed to stop spacing out so often — especially in public. 

"Stop thinking for a moment and follow me upstairs," Ling Rui said, pulling him up the steps until they stood next to the entrance to Wang Yue's flat — or what remained of it. It was scary to see pieces of his front door lying in the hallway. Had they used an ax to open it like in the movies? "Alright. What's on your mind?" 

"Huh?" Wang Yue blinked when Ling Rui grabbed his shoulders and forced him to meet his gaze.

"What did you think about just now when you didn't notice your neighbor hurrying down the stairs, bumping into you?"

"Oh." Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip.

"Can you try to tell me?" Ling Rui asked with way more patience than Wang Yue deserved.

"I don't have any relatives who can take me in for three weeks," Wang Yue mumbled, averting his gaze in shame. Why was he ashamed? It wasn't his fault that his few remaining living relatives had broken off all contact after his parents had died, was it? Or maybe it was. It was always his fault. They probably didn't want to deal with him.

"You will stay with me."

"What?" Wang Yue's eyes snapped back to Ling Rui.

"Wang Chao and you will stay with me until your flat is completely restored — no matter how long it might take."

"But I—" Wang Yue couldn't accept it so easily. "Your family—"

"They won't mind." Ling Rui smiled. "I know they aren't always the best company, but please bear with them for a while."

Wang Yue furrowed his brows. Wasn't that mixed up? They had to bear him and not the other way around.

"I'll tell them to behave better than this morning." Ling Rui clicked his tongue and averted his eyes. "I'm still mad at them about that."

"Don't fight with them because of me!" Wang Yue blurted out. 

"It's not because of you, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui whispered reassuringly. "I've told you before that they keep nagging at me and that I'm annoyed because Ma refuses to accept my boundaries." He sighed.

Now that Ling Rui pointed it out, Wang Yue did remember these things. 

"Yue'er." Ling Rui cupped Wang Yue's cheek to get his attention. "I don't want to cut you off, and if you want, we can discuss this all in detail — but later. We only have about two hours to pack your things, so we should focus on that for now, alright?"

Wang Yue took a deep breath. Ling Rui's warm hands soothed him. He nodded. "Yeah." Ling Rui was right. Ling Rui was reasonable. Ling Rui thought things through instead of freaking out. 

Now wasn't the time to freak out because of his lodging for the coming weeks. If he came up with a better solution that didn't include imposing on Ling Rui and his family, he could still move out of their flat again tomorrow. For now, he needed to gather his belongings.

Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue walked to his broken front door and looked inside.

"Fuck."

Everything was wet.

The cheap linoleum floor was completely soaked, making squelching noises as Wang Yue stepped inside. The wallpaper was coming down on every side of the room, and the things Wang Yue had stored in the corner of his room had all tumbled over after the cardboard box on the bottom had fallen apart. 

Carefully, he stepped over his belongings to reach the main room. For a weird reason, he had hoped it wouldn't look as bad as the entrance room, but he had been right in the wrong way. It didn't look as bad. It looked even worse. 

There was a head-sized hole in the wall where his shelf used to stand. The shelf was now lying on Wang Chao's bed —one of the bed legs broken— and all its contents lying on the floor. It looked like the flat had been hit by an earthquake. Almost mockingly, the single blue sock he had searched for days lay on the floor right in front of Wang Yue's feet, forced out of hiding.

Ling Rui had caught up with him and inhaled sharply. Groaning, he covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Judging by the smell, I guess the wastewater pipe broke, too." He stepped closer to the wall, where the shelf used to be, and inspected some dark spots. "That's mold," he mumbled. "Old one." He walked towards the fridge and used the flashlight of his phone to check the wall behind it. He hissed and checked the wall behind Wang Yue's wardrobe next. "Here, too. That's not healthy."

That was it. Wang Yue's life was officially over. How was he ever supposed to recover from all that? Even if he didn't have to pay his rent next month, the money he saved wouldn't be enough to make up for everything that had been lost. 

Gulping, he walked towards his wardrobe and opened it. The stench that hit his nose made his stomach turn, and he whirled around, pressing his hands against his mouth to suppress the urge to retch. 

"Shit."

Maybe the clothes could still be saved if he washed them — if he could afford to buy new laundry detergent, the voice inside his head reminded him. What about his bed? He went back to the other room. Trembling, he touched his mattress. It was wet, too. Carefully, he sniffed at his fingers before stretching his arm to get his hand as far away from his face as possible. No way. He couldn't ever sleep on that mattress again, and there was no way to clean it. He walked back to the main room, trying to collect his thoughts. He needed a new bed — actually, two new beds, but at least one for his brother. He had only bought Wang Chao's bed about half a year ago. It had been secondhand, but Wang Yue had still used all of his remaining savings for it, and now it was ruined. How unlucky could a person be? He had to afford a new bed for his brother somehow. Wang Yue could make do with sleeping on the floor if worse came to worst. Winter was officially over, even if it was still cold. 

"Do you have household contents insurance?" Ling Rui asked.

Wang Yue felt ready to cry. Of course, he didn't. He couldn't even afford to buy enough food this month, how was he supposed to pay for a monthly insurance that he might never need? Except that he did need it now. But no one could have known that beforehand. Or maybe it was Wang Yue's fault for not thinking ahead. What was he supposed to do now? Wang Yue felt lost. 

"It's okay," Ling Rui said, stepping into Wang Yue's field of vision.

"No." No, it wasn't. Wang Yue shook his head in denial. "No, it's not." Nothing about this was okay, and nothing would be okay. This was a disaster. Even Ling Rui couldn't sugarcoat this.

Smiling, Ling Rui intertwined their fingers. "Everything that has been lost can be replaced, Xiao Yue."

Wang Yue huffed. "With enough money, sure." Was Ling Rui mocking him?

"There's always a way. We can ask around if someone has some old furniture they don't need anymore. We can look for stuff at the flea market. We can buy the most necessary things first. But the most important thing is that you and Wang Chao are safe, isn't it?"

Taking a sharp breath, Wang Yue looked at Wang Chao's bed — broken and buried under a shelf. He didn't even dare to think what might have happened if it had crashed down while his brother had been asleep. He shuddered. Looking back at Ling Rui, he slowly nodded.

"Let's save what we can for now, alright?"

An almost hysterical sound left Wang Yue's throat. "What is there even—"

"We'll take all your clothes and wash them," Ling Rui instructed. "They'll be as good as new, I promise. Do you have some backpacks and garbage bags? Just to transport stuff, not to throw anything away."

"Yeah," Wang Yue mumbled. He had just bought a new roll at the beginning of this month.  

"Your kitchenware should still be fine, too," Ling Rui pointed out, and Wang Yue's eyes immediately went to the big pot on the sink that belonged to Ling Rui. He hadn't had a chance to return it yet after eating the chicken soup. "I'm sure the toiletries in the bathroom are safe, too." He smiled encouragingly. "And all that stuff on the table." He nodded towards the middle of the room. "I guess it's a good thing that you didn't tidy up this room and have so much stuff lying on the table."

Wang Yue ignored the fact that he also had a large amount of stuff lying on the floor which had been soaked and swept away. Slowly, he walked to the table, silently thanking it for its metal legs that hadn't soaked up any water. He lifted Wang Chao's hoodie and found his old laptop lying next to his brother's favorite picture book. Now that he saw it, Wang Yue fondly remembered how Wang Chao had bothered him two days ago while he was browsing the internet, asking him to read his picture book with him, the snot from his nose dripping onto the table. Wang Yue was glad the book was safe.

"Come on, where are your bags?" Ling Rui asked, full of zest for action. "I'll start with the kitchen, and you get the clothes. Alright?"

"Okay," Wang Yue confirmed, even though his pathetic corner with a fridge, a sink, and a portable cooking plate could hardly be called a kitchen. 

They started to work, packing Wang Yue's stuff into bags. When Ling Rui was done with the kitchenware, Wang Yue took over the task of carrying the bags downstairs and putting them into Ling Rui's car. Meanwhile, Ling Rui continued to pack the remaining stuff. 

Only when Wang Yue returned to his flat and spotted Ling Rui crouching in the bathroom, unmoving, did he remember what he stored at the back of his bottom bathroom shelf.

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, causing Ling Rui to yelp and flinch as he felt caught.

"I'm sorry!" Ling Rui exclaimed after almost losing his balance. "I shouldn't have—" He cleared his throat. "This is your private—" He stood up and averted his eyes. "I didn't touch—"

"It's just two dildos," Wang Yue said, unable to hold back a slightly amused tone after witnessing Ling Rui's outburst. "Don't freak out."

"Aren't you embarrassed that I found them?"

"Apparently, not even half as much as you are." Wang Yue walked over and picked up the toys. He furrowed his brows as Ling Rui only stared at him with wide eyes. "Should I be embarrassed?" Was his relationship with sex toys not normal? Was he supposed to freak out because his boyfriend had found his pathetically small toy collection? Or was it because he didn't have a big nightstand, causing him to store them in the bathroom instead?

"No!" Ling Rui exclaimed. "It's fine! I don't mind! I just thought you would be embarrassed because I found them. Because I would be embarrassed if someone found my—"

"Do you have sex toys, Doctor Ling?" Wang Yue asked, full of interest, and Ling Rui yelped again. That reaction was way too adorable.

Ling Rui defensively raised his hands and shook his head so quickly that Wang Yue was afraid he might get dizzy. "I've looked at them on the internet once or t-t-twice," he stuttered. "But I never dared to buy anything!"
 
If Wang Yue had more money, he'd have a big toy collection. But with his meager budget, he hadn't ever managed to afford more than two dildos of different sizes. A vibrator would be nice, but he couldn't risk making too many sounds with his brother sleeping next door, and batteries weren't cheap either. Most days, he couldn't even afford lube to use his toys. Furthermore, he really shouldn't waste his money on such unnecessary stuff. Maybe that was something to be embarrassed about? That he had given in to his desires and bought these toys for himself instead of saving money for more important things like laundry detergent and food. Wang Yue looked at the pink and black dildos in his hand. If he hadn't bought these, he—

"It's nice that you bought something for yourself."

"What?" Wang Yue blinked, surprised that Ling Rui had once again managed to read his thoughts.

"This is the first time I've seen something that you bought for yourself," Ling Rui whispered. "Usually, you only buy new things for your brother."

"Ah." Nervously, Wang Yue averted his eyes and cleared his throat. "Yeah. It happened in a moment of weakness," he admitted. He really wasn't proud of it.

"No." Ling Rui shook his head. "It happened in a moment of strength."

Wang Yue looked at Ling Rui in surprise.

"You should treat yourself like that from time to time," Ling Rui explained. "It's a good thing."

Wang Yue's lips trembled, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat. "You really think I deserve that?" he whispered so quietly that it was a miracle that Ling Rui had even heard him.

"Yes." Ling Rui smiled reassuringly and nodded. "You deserve good things, Xiao Yue. You deserve to treat yourself. You deserve pleasure."

"Ah." Wang Yue's eyes widened in realization. "Is that why you were mad last night?" The moment the question had left Wang Yue's lips, he felt stupid for not realizing it any sooner. Of course, that was the reason. Ling Rui had even explained it to him, had told him that he didn't like getting off when Wang Yue wasn't into it and had literally said that he wanted Wang Yue to enjoy himself. It hadn't even been the first time. They had had that conversation before — several times. But sometimes, the thought that something insignificant like Wang Yue's pleasure mattered so much to Ling Rui was simply unfathomable. "Because I was too stuck in my head and thought my pleasure didn't matter?"

Carefully, Ling Rui nodded. His expression was slightly tense as if he feared Wang Yue would object to him again.

"Sorry." Wang Yue had already apologized earlier in the car, but it felt more sincere now. "It's—" he raked his teeth over his bottom lip, searching for the right words "—difficult."

"I know." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's upper arm. "I'll try to help you as best as I can."

Since Wang Yue felt overwhelmed by too many emotions he didn't know how to deal with, he decided to brush it all off with a joke. "Well." He raised and waved his hand holding the dildos, nodding towards them. "You're a better help than these two." Licking his lips, he dared to add, "Better and bigger." 

Ling Rui buried his face in his hands to muffle an embarrassed scream, and Wang Yue heard a chuckle before realizing that the sound was coming from him. When was the last time Wang Yue had laughed? He couldn't even remember. Ling Rui suddenly stared at him with so much surprise as if Wang Yue had grown a second head. A moment later, Ling Rui smiled brighter than the sun, dimples appearing on his cheeks, and he hugged Wang Yue so tightly it knocked the air out of his lungs for a moment. 

Wang Yue felt warm and cherished.

It was a nice but dangerous feeling.

He was afraid to get used to it.

He was afraid to lose it.

He was afraid of losing Ling Rui. 

For over 20 years, Wang Yue had fought for himself and his brother all alone. Even Meilin had never done more then giving them some leftovers at the restaurant. But now it suddenly felt like Wang Yue couldn't do anything anymore without depending on Ling Rui's help.

It was scary. But at the same time, Wang Yue longed to open up and entrust himself to Ling Rui's care. He wanted to believe that all the things Ling Rui said were true and that he deserved at least a little bit of happiness.

"Thank you," Wang Yue mumbled against Ling Rui's reliable chest, "for putting up with me."

"It's my pleasure." Ling Rui planted a kiss on the top of Wang Yue's head.

Wang Yue inhaled deeply, taking in Ling Rui's soothing scent of vanilla before leaning back again. "Time to pack up the remaining stuff."

Ling Rui nodded, and they got to work.

Notes:

Hey, look, a chapter that ends on a lighter note! Enjoy it while it lasts :D

 

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Chapter 7: Cornered (Tuesday, March 30th)

Summary:

After retrieving Wang Yue's belongings from his flat, he needs to clean and store everything while Ling Rui has to work.

Notes:

Ling Zhu and Ling Yunzhi both turned out differently than planned, but I like how their characters developed while writing this fic.

The tags of this fic haven't changed, but I'd like to remind you of their existence. *points at the top of the page*

9k words

Wang Yue didn't have that much stuff, but it still took them two hours to pack everything and load it into Ling Rui's car. Wang Yue had tried to argue that he didn't necessarily need some of these things during his stay at Ling Rui's flat and it shouldn't bother the workmen if some stuff remained in his wardrobe or in boxes on the table, but Ling Rui had said that he trusted these workmen as much as the landlord —not at all— and that they'd better take everything Wang Yue intended to keep. 

Once they were done, Ling Rui handed him some wet wipes to clean his hands, and they drove back to the Ling family flat — Ling Rui with his car and Wang Yue with his bike.

When they arrived, Wang Yue checked his phone and realized that it was already after noon.

"You've gotta go to work," he exclaimed as soon as Ling Rui got out of the car.

Ling Rui blinked in surprise before patting Wang Yue's shoulder. "Don't worry."

"No," Wang Yue cut him off, taking a step back to escape Ling Rui's touch. "Work is important," he said, ignoring Ling Rui's sad look when his hand hovered in the cold air. It hurt to see this expression on Ling Rui's face, but it was for the best. This was about his job. He couldn't be late.

Sighing, Ling Rui pulled his hand back. He smiled a bit awkwardly and peeked at his car —even the backseat and passenger seat filled with bags full of the brothers' stuff— before his eyes drifted back to Wang Yue.

Wang Yue paled. "Shit. Okay, wait, I'll unload that quickly." He would have offered to drive Ling Rui to the hospital on his bike, but Wang Yue wouldn't be able to pick him up tonight because their work shifts overlapped. 

"Don't hurry too much," Ling Rui said. "A few minutes don't matter. Peng Bo knows I might be late. I'll just stay longer tonight."

Wang Yue didn't like how casual Ling Rui was about this. He had been overworked for days and had never been a night owl. Working late wasn't something he easily managed to do. 

"But think about all your patients."

Ling Rui smiled weakly. "I have to trust my colleagues that our patients are in good hands. Otherwise, I would never be able to relax when I'm not on duty."

That was a valid argument, especially for a worrywart like Ling Rui. But that didn't change the fact that Wang Yue worried about him and didn't want to cause him even more stress. "I'll feel bad if you are late because of me," Wang Yue admitted, hoping that honesty might get Ling Rui moving.

It worked.

Ling Rui's eyes widened in surprise. "You don't have to," he said, causing Wang Yue to grit his teeth. "But let's get moving instead of discussing this." 

Finally a reasonable suggestion.

"I'll show you the basement," Ling Rui said. Grabbing his keys, he unlocked the main entrance of the house and went downstairs. Wang Yue quickly followed him. "You can store the clean things you don't need often here."

"Alright," Wang Yue replied, already pondering which bags he would carry down. He really didn't intend to take up too much space at the flat. 

"And we can carry everything else that needs to be washed or cleaned upstairs."

"I can do that on my own," Wang Yue immediately interfered. "Let's just unload everything at the entrance so you can get to work."

Ling Rui didn't look very happy but nodded. "If you say so." He unlocked a room in the basement and turned on an old lightbulb. It was a plain, dusty room with spiderwebs sticking to the upper corners. Some shelves were on the walls, carrying boxes of different sizes, some chairs and a grill pushed into the corner of the room. "Here."

Wang Yue looked perplexed when Ling Rui took the basement key off of his keyring and handed it to Wang Yue.

"So you can lock up when you're done," Ling Rui explained.

Wang Yue understood the logic behind the action, but it still came as a surprise that Ling Rui trusted him with something important like a key — even if it only belonged to a dusty storage room. With trembling hands, Wang Yue accepted it. He had to be extra careful not to lose it. "I will." Nodding, he made a mental note not to forget to lock up later. He quickly put the key on his keyring so he wouldn't lose it.

"I've gotta get ready for work now," Ling Rui said.

"Yes," Wang Yue agreed, relieved that Ling Rui intended to leave on time. "Don't worry about me. I can manage on my own."

"I know," Ling Rui whispered, looking dejected somehow.

They went upstairs — Ling Rui to his flat and Wang Yue to the car. Wang Yue was mesmerized for a moment by how easily Ling Rui took two steps at once with his long legs. Wang Yue loved touching them, kissing his way from Ling Rui's ankle over the ticklish back of his knee to the sensitive inside of his thigh, causing Ling Rui's laughter to turn into moans. But now wasn't the time to daydream about Ling Rui's perfect body like some horny creep. If Wang Yue wanted to worship him, he should have done so last night instead of messing everything up. He shook his head to chase the thought away. He had to focus on his task for now.

Wang Yue had just unloaded the third and fourth bags and put them next to the entrance to carry them down later when his phone rang. Frowning, he pulled it out of his pocket and spotted Ling Rui's name on the display. "Yeah?"

"Ma asks if you want to have lunch while it's still hot."

Wang Yue felt his stomach cramping. How was he even supposed to think about food when he had so much to do? There was no time. Wang Yue had to unload the car so Ling Rui could drive to work, had to wash some clothes so he and Wang Chao wouldn't have to rely on Ling Rui's wardrobe anymore, and he had to ponder what to do about food if they really had to stay for three weeks. They couldn't keep eating the Ling family's meals like some nasty parasites. Wang Yue should probably go grocery shopping and feed Wang Chao on his own. He groaned. It would be difficult to get him to eat the cheap and pathetic meals he could offer if Wang Chao saw the homemade cooking of the Ling's. 

Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath. Could he even provide enough food for Wang Chao? They had thrown away the things he had stored at home since the fridge had stopped working, and everything else had been soaked by wastewater. It hurt to discard food, but it had been spoiled. Wang Chao couldn't have eaten it anymore. At least they hadn't had much stored anyway, but Wang Yue still hated to waste food like this. He barely had any money left this month and was only getting paid the day after tomorrow. Maybe he should accept the lunch Ling Zhu had offered him and use it as dinner for Wang Chao tonight. Or would she be mad if he rejected her cooking like that? Maybe he really should use his last money to go grocery shopping for his brother. It might just be enough for tonight and tomorrow, and then—

"He says he'll just eat some leftovers later," Ling Rui suddenly said, probably directed towards his family.

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue took a deep breath. "Thanks," he mumbled, clutching his phone tighter. He really didn't want Ling Rui's family to comment on his eating habits. Actually, he didn't want anyone to comment on that. He didn't even want to think about it. There was no reason to think about it. Everything was fine. 

"Don't mention it," Ling Rui replied. "I'll be downstairs in a moment."

"Okay," Wang Yue replied, and they ended the call. 

Without wasting any time, Wang Yue continued to unload the bags from the car. At some point, Ling Rui joined him, helping out after putting his working bag onto the driver's seat. Wang Yue hated to inconvenience Ling Rui like that, but they were faster together, and time was of the essence.

Wang Yue exhaled in relief when he finally set the last bag down next to the stairs leading down to the basement. Using the back of his hand, he wiped some sweat from his forehead. At least he wasn't cold despite the weather. 

Ling Rui checked his phone before humming. "I still have some time left."

Frowning, Wang Yue took out his own phone to check the time. "Didn't you say you've gotta start working between 12 and 1 o'clock?" he asked, pocketing his phone again. "It's already half past—" The words died on Wang Yue's lips when a cereal bar appeared right before his eyes. Ling Rui had pulled two cereal bars out of his pocket, holding one out for Wang Yue. Frozen in place, Wang Yue stared at it until Ling Rui basically shoved it against Wang Yue's chest and let go, causing him to reflexively catch it.

Smiling, Ling Rui sat down on the stairs and unwrapped his own cereal bar. Casually, he took out his phone, browsing social media while taking the first bite.

Wang Yue stared at the cereal bar in his hands. The wrapping was bright yellow. He knew that Ling Rui only meant well. He knew that Ling Rui was worried. He knew that he had to eat. Wang Yue took a deep breath, trying to fight off the nausea. He was glad Ling Rui had helped him out of the family lunch situation and appreciated that Ling Rui didn't push him even now.

A few bites wouldn't hurt, right? 

Slowly, Wang Yue sat down next to Ling Rui and fumbled with the cereal bar, turning it around and around. According to the wrapper and the weight, it was a thick bar with many different nuts and some honey. Wang Yue had seen it at the store several times but never bought it. It was more expensive than the others. Wang Chao had reached for them a few times while grocery shopping, but Wang Yue had to refuse every time, unable to spoil his brother, even though he would deserve it. Maybe Wang Yue should save this one for him. Wang Chao would be happy about this sweet treat.

Ling Rui bumped his knee against Wang Yue's, their thighs pressing together.

Wang Yue flinched and almost dropped the cereal bar, the wrapper rustling as he quickly caught it. Protectively, he wrapped his hand around it, covering it with his other hand. He should be more careful since Ling Rui had gone out of his way to get this for him. 

It took a moment until Wang Yue felt the warmth of Ling Rui's leg seeping through the fabric of their pants. Wang Yue took a deep breath. Ling Rui must be thinking that Wang Yue was the biggest idiot ever, unable to simply unwrap and eat a cereal bar. Wang Yue didn't even know why he was struggling so much. He knew he didn't have to save this one cereal bar for Wang Chao. Ling Rui probably had a whole kitchen cabinet filled with snacks that he would gladly share with them because Ling Rui was always generous. And Wang Yue also knew that he had to eat because his body needed nourishment to function. And his body needed to function because he had to take care of his brother, store all these bags, go to work later, and—

"Do you prefer the ones with fruits?"

"What?"

"I wasn't sure whether you prefer cereal bars with nuts or fruits," Ling Rui explained. He pocketed his phone and straightened the wrapping of his cereal bar. "This one has raisins and dried cranberries in it."

"Oh." Wang Yue hadn't even noticed that Ling Rui had brought two different kinds.

"We can trade or divide fifty-fifty if you want?" Ling Rui suggested, holding his partly eaten cereal bar out for Wang Yue to take.

Was it really okay if Wang Yue just snatched Ling Rui's food like that? Wasn't that supposed to be Ling Rui's lunch? Wang Yue shook his head, feeling his hair moving against his forehead. Nonsense. Sharing wouldn't reduce Ling Rui's amount of food if he had intended to give one bar to Wang Yue anyway. Furthermore, Ling Rui had probably grabbed a quick bite while being upstairs earlier. "Which one do you prefer?" Wang Yue asked to turn the attention away from him.

"Hmm." Ling Rui hummed, pondering. "I'm not sure." He smiled. "You like cereal bars in general, don't you? I know you often buy some."

Wang Yue nodded. He probably shouldn't admit that they weren't only snacks for Wang Chao but also served as a full meal for himself whenever he was running low on money and could only provide proper meals for his brother. 

"Ever tried these ones?"

Wang Yue shook his head, subconsciously licking his lips.

"Me neither. Then we really should share them fifty-fifty," Ling Rui suggested, "so we can try both flavors." He smiled encouragingly and waited patiently, still holding out his cereal bar.

It did look tasty. And Wang Yue had always been curious whether the more expensive ones really tasted different —better— than the cheap ones. He only realized he had subconsciously leaned in after he had already taken a bite, eating out of Ling Rui's palm. Embarrassed, he sat up straight, but Ling Rui only cocked his head with a smile.

"Tasty?"

The question prompted Wang Yue to become aware of the taste on his tongue. Chewing, he enjoyed the mix of sweet honey and slightly sour cranberries. The cereals tasted richer than the cheap ones he usually got. They were crispy but didn't stick to his teeth as much as he was used to. Apparently, these things were worth their money. Sheepishly, he nodded.

"Then let's share." Smiling, Ling Rui reached for the cereal bar in Wang Yue's hand to take it away from him. Wang Yue let it happen, watching how Ling Rui unwrapped the nutty cereal bar with his skillful, long fingers before taking a small bite from it. 

"This one is also good," Ling Rui said after swallowing. "Here." He unwrapped the bar completely and pushed it into Wang Yue's hand.

Wang Yue hesitated to touch the food he intended to share with Ling Rui with his dirty hands, but to avoid the risk of dropping it, he could only take it.

"Oh, wait," Ling Rui mumbled. "Hold that for me for a moment." After unwrapping the fruity cereal bar, he handed it to Wang Yue as well. Ling Rui easily crumpled the wrappers in his big hand while fishing for his phone with the other. "Oh no, I've gotta go to work." He jumped up. "See you later!" he yelled, already running out of the building.

Perplexed, Wang Yue blinked, staring at the two unwrapped, half-eaten cereal bars in his hands.

He had been tricked.

Without a chance to store the cereal bars and unable to waste any food, he didn't have much of a choice but to eat them himself. It would be weird if he went upstairs to give them to his brother now. Wang Yue's stomach rumbled. Sighing, he gave in. At least he felt more hungry than nauseous now. Carefully, he took a bite from the nutty cereal bar, enjoying the crunching sound as he chewed a hazelnut. He had never been picky about food and ate everything, but if he was honest, he had to admit that he preferred the nutty cereal bar to the fruity one. Therefore, he decided to eat the fruity one first to save the best for last. Now that he had started to eat, his body was getting greedy. Before he knew it, he had gulped down the first cereal bar, immediately biting into the other. 

As he stared at the last bite, he paused. Maybe it was a stupid idea. But maybe it would serve to ease Ling Rui's worries. Wang Yue reached for his phone and took a selfie at the moment he pushed the remaining piece of cereal bar into his mouth. It wasn't an artistic picture. The angle was weird, and the back of his head was cut off. 

But Wang Yue sent it to Ling Rui anyway.

WY [12:47 pm]:
All finished.

Wang Yue pocketed his phone and reflexively wiped his hands on his pants before realizing that he still wore Ling Rui's jeans. Shit. He shouldn't dirty them. Frantically, he peeked at the fabric, trying to discern if his sticky fingers had left any stains. It appeared to be fine. He sighed in relief. 

When the short moment of panic had subsided, his eyes traveled to all the bags. He didn't know where to start. He needed some clothes, a few toys for Wang Chao, and their toiletries, but he had just randomly thrown everything into these identical-looking bags. That hadn't been smart, but he hadn't had much time to think while packing his stuff. Maybe Ling Rui had packed his bags more well-thought-out, but Wang Yue hadn't had any time to watch him. He had no choice but to check the contents of each bag before deciding what to carry upstairs and what to store in the basement.

But maybe he should check in on his brother first. He couldn't expect the Ling family to take care of him the whole day. 

Hoping that no other resident would have to use the staircase soon and complain about all the bags standing in the way, Wang Yue went upstairs. 

The door to Ling Rui's flat was slightly ajar, but he still felt awkward for simply intruding on someone else's home. But ringing the bell, even though the door was open, would be even more awkward. 

Hesitantly, he pushed the door open and peeked inside.

"Oh, Xiao Yue!" Ling Zhu exclaimed, walking up to him. "I was just about to come downstairs and look for you."

"I've gotta go to work," Ling Yazhi said, passing by him in a rush. "Have fun doing the dishes for me, Da-jie!" She snickered.

Wang Yue already felt overwhelmed again. He took a quick look around and spotted Ling Yunzhi standing at the sink in the kitchen, her back turned towards him, but there was no trace of his brother.

"Ling Rui said you've got a bunch of clothes to wash and things to clean." Ling Zhu rolled up the sleeves of her cardigan. "Let me help you."

"You don't have to!" Wang Yue immediately exclaimed, raising his hands defensively. "I can do it." He looked around again.

"Chao'er is sleeping," Ling Zhu mentioned as she noticed Wang Yue's searching gaze. "He took his cold medicine after lunch and got tired."

"Oh." Wang Yue still had to pay Ling Rui back for that medicine. Confused, he looked at the couch. 

"He's in Yazhi's room so he can sleep peacefully," Ling Zhu explained. "Yazhi will sleep on the couch from now on."

"She doesn't have to give up her room," Wang Yue said, his voice cracking up towards the end of his sentence. Ling Yazhi had done the same thing when the brothers had stayed over around New Year, and Wang Yue hadn't felt good about it back then either, even though she had never complained. It didn't feel right to drive her out of her room and bed. It made sense that Wang Chao couldn't sleep in the living room, where everyone stayed in the late evening, whereas Wang Chao went to bed early, but driving Ling Yazhi out of her room didn't feel like the right solution either. If it would help, Wang Yue would sleep on the couch, but unfortunately, even that wouldn't mean that there'd be a free bed for Wang Chao. 

"It's fine, it's fine," Ling Zhu said. "Come on. We can talk while carrying your bags upstairs."

"They are heavy!" Wang Yue exclaimed. "Let me do it."

Putting her arms on her hips, Ling Zhu huffed. "Well, then you carry it all up, and I'll sort the clothes by color to wash them."

"No need to wash everything!" Wang Yue felt panic rising up inside of him. He liked Ling Zhu, but she could be so pushy. He already owed her enough for looking after his brother. He didn't want to be even more indebted to her. "Just one or two outfits for my brother is enough."

"Xiao Yue." Ling Zhu sighed. "You've gotta wash everything before the smell creeps into the fabric and never goes away again."

Was that how it worked? Wang Yue didn't know and really couldn't afford to lose the few clothes he owned — especially not with his tight budget.

"But I—"

"Hm?"

Wang Yue sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Even if Ling Zhu told him to wash everything and probably even allowed him to use her washing machine, Wang Yue couldn't use it until he bought new laundry detergent. And he really didn't want to tell her that he didn't have enough money left to buy it today. Wang Yue still remembered the first time he had met Ling Zhu, running into her at the supermarket when he barely knew Ling Rui. Back then, Wang Yue had become aware of their different lifestyles — the gap between rich and poor. He had been so ashamed that he couldn't provide enough food for himself and his brother. He had been afraid to get judged by Ling Zhu — he still was. She knew that Wang Yue wasn't rich. But she didn't know he was living from hand to mouth, struggling every last week of the month to keep his brother fed while he himself skipped as many meals as possible. Thinking about that made Wang Yue realize that they hadn't talked about how much he was supposed to pay for the food Wang Chao had eaten today. With how fancy the Ling family's meals were, they couldn't be cheap. Wang Yue probably couldn't afford it.

"What's wrong, Xiao Yue, hm?" Ling Zhu asked, patting Wang Yue's arm and interrupting his train of thought. "You can always tell your Ayi everything." 

Could he? Wang Yue didn't want to disappoint her but didn't know how to get out of the situation otherwise.

"Tell your Ayi what's on your mind."

Taking a deep breath, he spoke quietly but quickly. "I don't have any laundry detergent and—"

"Oh! That's no problem," Ling Zhu immediately interrupted him. "You can just use ours if you don't mind that it might be a different brand with a different smell."

As if Wang Yue would ever be picky about something like that. He would probably even like it if his clothes smelled like Ling Rui's. What was he thinking? Ashamed by his thoughts, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. "But—" nervously, he shifted from one foot to the other "—I don't know when I can pay you back."

"Xiao Yue." Ling Zhu chuckled as if she didn't take his concern seriously, dismissively waving her hand. "You don't have to pay me back."

"But I can't just—" Wang Yue grabbed the hems of his jacket sleeves and tried to keep his breath even. He couldn't just not pay her back. It didn't feel right. Why should the Ling family have to pay for his things? It made no sense. "I also have to pay for my brother's meals and—"

"Listen," Ling Yunzhi said without looking at him, scrubbing a pot clean. "You can talk about the financial stuff with Ling Rui."

Ling Zhu frowned. "What's there to talk about? They don't have to pay for anything. They are family!" 

"Let Ling Rui decide," Ling Yunzhi repeated calmly.

"If that boy charges even a single Yuan from my Xiao Yue, I'll teach him a lesson!" Ling Zhu huffed, putting her hands on her hips.

"That boy is your son."

"And if he demands money from a family member in distress, I've raised him wrong!"

"Drop it, Zhu'er."

"Please don't fight," Wang Yue whispered. His presence was tearing this family apart. He lowered his head. Why did he always cause trouble? 

"We're not fighting." Ling Zhu waved her hand to make a gesture of refusal. "Don't worry. Come on, carry up those bags, and let Ayi do the laundry."

Since Wang Yue didn't intend to spend the whole day trying to convince Ling Zhu to let him do everything on his own, he eventually gave in. It wasn't easy to accept so much help since he didn't know how and when to return the favor, but if he stayed vigilant a chance might show up. At least, Wang Yue hoped it would. He put his denim jacket and scarf on the coat rack and got to work, going up and down the stairs to fetch the bags.

After he had carried up three bags, he received a message and checked his phone.

LR [1:03 pm]:
Well done.

Would Ling Rui still say that if he knew how much Wang Yue owed to Ling Zhu now? Without replying, Wang Yue pocketed his phone again. He checked the contents of the next bag, deciding it could go to the basement later. He continued like this until he had checked every bag.

He was still busy carrying up the last clothes bag when Ling Zhu had already started to empty the others. The living room looked like utter chaos. Clothes were scattered all over the place, some of them piled up by colors, others still unsorted.

"Some of these could use some mending after washing," Ling Zhu said, holding up a pair of jeans with a ripped pant leg. 

"I know," Wang Yue mumbled self-consciously. His mending skills weren't the best, but he had thought about buying some new black thread soon. It was cheaper than getting new clothes, and Wang Yue didn't mind if the color of the thread didn't match with the fabric. Most of the time, though, he didn't care enough about some holes in his clothes. He wouldn't let Wang Chao wear them —worried that he might get cold— but they were still good enough for himself.

"Ling Rui is really good at that," Ling Zhu said, and Wang Yue already felt a sense of dread. "He can help you out with that."

"He doesn't have to," Wang Yue declined. Ling Rui was already doing more than enough for him. "He's busy enough lately."

"He's too busy." Ling Zhu sighed, dejected. "My poor boy barely manages to spend time with me anymore."

Wang Yue felt Ling Yunzhi's gaze on them but ignored her. Dealing with Ling Zhu was exhausting enough. "Sorry." Wang Yue didn't know why he apologized to Ling Zhu. It wasn't his fault that Ling Rui was drowning in work, and he didn't spend much time with him either. But still. Every minute Ling Rui spent with him, he could spend with Ling Zhu instead. It wasn't Wang Yue's intention to keep a son away from his mother like that.

"I'm not as skillful as him, but I can also mend some clothes for you," Ling Zhu suggested all of a sudden, "or Da-jie can. She taught Ling Rui how to sew."

"You don't have to," Wang Yue declined at once, but Ling Zhu only waved her hand.

"Stop being modest." She reached for the new bag Wang Yue had carried upstairs and emptied it, sorting the clothes by color.

Wang Yue started to help her, hurrying so she wouldn't have to do more on her own than she already had.

"Let me do that and carry up your other stuff, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, taking the shirt out of his hands.

"I'll put the other things in the basement."

"Get it all up here for cleaning first — Chao'er toys, your kitchenware, whatever else," Ling Zhu listed, "just bring it all here. It's better to clean it up now and put it into new bags before storing it."

Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. She was right, but he really didn't feel well about clogging the whole flat with his dirty stuff. He hesitated.

"Oh." Ling Zhu's eyes widened. "Or are you too exhausted?" she asked, interpreting his hesitation wrong. "Ling Rui left your food on the counter," she said, pointing towards the kitchen. "Why don't you take a break and eat something, hm? You must be hungry after skipping breakfast."

"Zhu'er!" Ling Yunzhi hissed reprimandingly.

Ling Zhu frowned first and then rolled her eyes when she noticed Ling Yunzhi's stern gaze.

Wang Yue didn't understand what was happening, but he sure as hell wasn't in the mood for food. And he was way too restless to even think about a break. 

"I'm done with the dishes," Ling Yunzhi announced. "Should I drain the dishwater, or do you want to use it to clean your kitchenware?"

"Da-jie!" Ling Zhu exclaimed. "Why should he use that dirty—"

"I'll use it!" Wang Yue exclaimed. "Thanks. I'll fetch the bags."

"Do you want some help with cleaning?" Ling Yunzhi asked, holding her wet hands over the sink, droplets dripping into it. 

"I can do it on my own." Wang Yue would go nuts if he had any more favors to repay.

"Alright." Ling Yunzhi reached for a towel and dried her hands, her back towards Wang Yue.

Perplexed, Wang Yue blinked. He had been ready for another discussion, expecting Ling Yunzhi to force her help on him, but apparently she accepted Wang Yue's decisions. It was a nice feeling. Ling Yunzhi could be strict and almost scarily perceptive, but she knew how to accept boundaries.

"Thanks, Ayi," Wang Yue whispered without realizing it.

"You're welcome," Ling Yunzhi replied, turning towards him with an unusually soft smile.

"Oh!" Ling Zhu exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "It's been so long since you've called me Ayi!" She frowned. "Actually, I think you only did it once when—"

"I'll get the other bags," Wang Yue said, rushing out of the door. He felt pressured. Ling Zhu was a kind woman, but she crushed Wang Yue with her affection and care. He couldn't handle it. And he sure as hell couldn't force himself to address her so familiarly if he didn't feel like it. Names carried more meaning to him than to most people. They made him feel vulnerable, and he couldn't help but keep his walls up around Ling Zhu. 

 

---

 

Wang Yue spent the day cleaning his kitchenware, putting it into new bags —something else he eventually had to repay the Ling family for— and carrying them down to the basement. Once he was done, he locked the room, returned upstairs to the flat, and placed the key in the bowl next to the little aquarium on the sideboard.

He had tried to hang up his laundry, but Ling Zhu had snatched the clothes from his hands, insisting she would do it. She had even taken out her drying racks — Wang Yue's drying rack too small to carry all the clothes, towels, and bedding. Wang Yue felt guilty for letting her do so much work, but she wouldn't listen to him no matter what he said. 

When Wang Chao woke up, he joined Wang Yue in the kitchen, excitedly watching how his toys got cleaned. He complained when he wasn't allowed to let his soap-covered toy car drive on the floor, but Wang Yue could distract him by feeding him his leftover youtiao from breakfast after quickly drying his hands. The moment he did that, though, a shudder went down Wang Yue's back. When he peeked over his shoulder, he noticed Ling Yunzhi's eyes flicking back to the book she was reading —pretending she hadn't seen anything— while Ling Zhu looked at him with so much worry in her eyes that Wang Yue felt sick. Quickly, he turned back around, gripping the kitchen counter.

Wang Yue really wished he had a place to withdraw. He had thought about staying in Ling Yazhi's room with his brother but felt bad for intruding on a stranger's bedroom like that. On the other hand, shutting himself away in Ling Rui's room also felt impolite. But staying here in the kitchen with Ling Yunzhi knowingly watching him from the living room and Ling Zhu fussing over him all the time was exhausting.

Wang Chao was happily chewing on the last youtiao while Wang Yue dried off his favorite toy car. When Ling Yunzhi went to the bathroom, Ling Zhu came rushing into the kitchen.

"Chao'er," she said, reprimanding him with a hushed voice. "Stop eating Xiao Yue's food!"

"It's fine," Wang Yue immediately said. He was glad Wang Chao's cold symptoms had lessened and his appetite was back to normal.

"No, it's not." Ling Zhu opened one of the upper cabinets and took out a package of cookies. "I hid them from Ling Rui, but I think we deserve some sweet treats from time to time." 

She offered one to Wang Chao, and he happily accepted it.

"You should thank her," Wang Yue mumbled. On the one hand, he was happy Wang Chao was getting spoiled like this, but on the other hand, he felt bad for being unable to spoil his brother himself.

"Thanks, Ayi!" Wang Chao exclaimed while chewing on his cookie.

"Oh, such a sweet boy!" Ling Zhu cheered happily. "I'll give you another one if you promise to stop stealing Xiao Yue's food."

Wang Chao happily nodded, and Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath.

"He's not stealing my—" Wang Yue failed to finish his sentence as he realized that, in fact, they were both stealing the food of the Ling family. He really needed to talk to Ling Rui about the financials. 

"Come on, Xiao Yue, eat your fruits," Ling Zhu said, nodding towards the plate with Wang Yue's leftovers from breakfast. "You need some vitamins, boy." She kept pushing. "Or do you not like these fruits? I never knew you could be picky." She placed two cookies on the plate. "Here, have some of these instead."

"I'm not picky."

"Then eat up." Picking up the plate, Ling Zhu shoved it into Wang Yue's hands. 

Startled, Wang Yue barely managed to catch it without dropping it. 

"Come on," she repeated, putting her hands on her hips. "You've already skipped breakfast and lunch. You've gotta eat something."

"Di?" Wang Chao asked, cocking his head as he looked from Wang Yue to Ling Zhu and back. He had already eaten his cookies. Why was eating so easy for others? When had eating become so difficult for Wang Yue? "What's wrong?"

Wang Yue felt sick. His hands trembled as he clung to the plate, the fruits and cookies that might have looked tasty at some point suddenly looking like a threat. His stomach clenched. He didn't want to eat. Not here, not now, not—

"Xiao Yue." Ling Zhu sighed, exasperated. When she heard the toilet flushing, her eyes nervously drifted towards the bathroom. "Come on, hurry." She picked up an apple wedge and held it close to Wang Yue's mouth. "Ayi only means well, Xiao Yue."

No.

Panic made Wang Yue's mind swirl. He slammed the plate down on the counter and ran. Somehow, he managed to slip into a pair of sneakers and rush down the stairs without falling. He had vaguely heard Ling Zhu calling after him —worried or angry, he didn't know, his ears ringing too loudly— but his legs simply kept moving. 

He ran without any goal in mind. He just needed to get away — from the food, from the pressure, from everything. The cold, dry air made his lungs burn. He kept running until his thighs felt like they were getting ripped apart, and then he still kept running. Sweat ran down his face, his shirt clinging to his back like a second layer of skin. It didn't take long until his feet hurt, his heels blistering, feet not used to wearing Ling Rui's sneakers, a size too big for him.

It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered — only the wind on his skin as he kept running. 

Sometimes, he wished to be a bird and fly away — away from his responsibilities, his life, and his thoughts.

But there was no way out.

No matter how far or quickly Wang Yue ran, he couldn't run from himself. He knew that but still had to try.

Gasping, Wang Yue braced for a fall as he tripped. His mind swirled as he crashed down on the dirty road. His senses were dulled, but Wang Yue still noticed the hushed voices, confused whispers, and worried glances. He didn't need pity from any strangers. He had fallen often enough in his life —metaphorically and physically— and had always gotten back up on his own.

Gritting his teeth, he stood up and ran. He heard a car honking and tires screeching. Squeezing his eyes shut, Wang Yue kept running while waiting for a crashing sound. It never came. Good. He couldn't live with the thought of having caused an accident, pulling innocent people into his misery.

Wang Yue opened his eyes again. He couldn't risk hurting anyone else in his carelessness. He was dizzy and out of breath but needed to escape this place and the curious onlookers. He kept running, careful not to bump into anyone. He went around a corner and then another until he came to a halt, leaning against a wall. He was panting open-mouthed, fighting back dizziness and nausea. The air was cold, but his throat burned with every breath he took. His legs hurt, and his muscles quivered. Since when was he so exhausted after a quick run? He should work out more often instead of slacking off all the time.

People stared at him as they passed by. He didn't want to be seen. On trembling legs, he walked into a side street, crouched down while ignoring the searing pain in his thighs, and closed his eyes. He couldn't sit down. He was still wearing Ling Rui's old jeans. He couldn't dirty them. For a while, he just tried to catch his breath. 

When he opened his eyes, he spotted the fabric of the jeans around his right knee — ripped and bloodied.

Fuck.

That must have happened when he had fallen. The sight made him aware of the pain in his knee, but that was secondary. He had damaged Ling Rui's clothes. He had disappointed Ling Rui again. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he buried his face in them and wished to vanish from the earth.

Wang Yue didn't know how long he sat there. At some point, he remembered his responsibilities. He had to work tonight. He had to help Wang Chao shower and put him to bed. He had to pretend to be alright to avoid worrying Ling Rui and his family.

Wang Yue took a deep breath and checked his phone. It was time to get back. 

Groaning, he got up. His legs hurt — strained thighs, scratched knee, and blistered feet. But it was his own fault, so he shouldn't complain. A shudder went through his body, and he subconsciously rubbed his arms. He was only wearing a T-shirt, and his sweat had turned cold in the early spring air.

He didn't know what to do about Ling Rui's jeans. At some point, he had to confess what had happened. Maybe he could buy a new pair of jeans for Ling Rui to compensate for his mishap. But a pair of jeans was expensive, and Ling Rui's jeans were probably even more expensive. Wang Yue had to come up with a solution — if not now, then later. But first, he had to go back and take care of Wang Chao.

Wang Yue stepped out of the side street. Since he hadn't paid attention to where he'd been running, he needed a moment to orientate himself. Fortunately, he had mesmerized most of the neighborhood's streets after delivering meals for years and quickly found his way. He hadn't run that far, or maybe he had been running in circles. His legs felt dull as he walked back, either from the overexhaustion or the cold. 

As he went around the last corner, he spotted Ling Yunzhi in front of the house, taking out the trash. Wang Yue wondered if it was another task she had taken over for her younger sister after losing that bet they had mentioned this morning. Ling Yunzhi's eyes widened in surprise when she spotted Wang Yue. For a split second, she looked worried before forcing a smile upon her lips. 

"Welcome back."

"Uh, hi." Wang Yue cleared his throat. His voice sounded rough. He needed to drink some water.

"Are you alright?" She kept her voice neutral.

"I'm fine," Wang Yue replied as he always did. Ling Yunzhi didn't believe him. It was obvious from the way she knowingly eyed him up and down, her gaze lingering on the bloodied, ripped part of his jeans.

"Alright," she replied anyway, but the smile fell from her face. She looked serious. "I just want Ling Rui to be happy, you know?"

"Okay," Wang Yue mumbled, taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

"And I think he's only truly happy when you're happy," she said, carefully judging Wang Yue's reaction.

Feeling caught, Wang Yue averted his eyes. He knew he wasn't the most happy and cheerful guy. 

"Do you want him to be happy?" Ling Yunzhi suddenly asked.

"Of course!" Wang Yue replied, looking at her with determination. What kind of question was that? The answer was obvious, wasn't it? "His happiness is very important to me." 

"I knew you would say that." Ling Yunzhi smiled. "You're a good guy."

No. He really wasn't. "But I—" sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue searched for the right words. To his surprise, she didn't interrupt him but only waited patiently, even though the cold wind made her shiver. "I don't know if I can make him happy," Wang Yue admitted.

Ling Yunzhi's expression softened. "You do make him happy." She said it with so much conviction that Wang Yue's eyes widened in surprise. "Even though I can't deny that you also make him worried sometimes."

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized.

Ling Yunzhi shook her head. "It's okay. That's also a part of life. You haven't been dating long. Or rather — you haven't spent much time together since your schedules are so different. It will get better once you two are more confident and learn how to take care of each other."

Ling Rui was already perfect at taking care of Wang Yue, but Wang Yue really needed to learn how to be a better boyfriend. He winced when he remembered how he had messed up after sex last night. 

"And now—" Ling Yunzhi's voice turned serious as she crossed her arms, her gaze strict "—tell me what Zhu'er did to you."

Wang Yue paled. He had felt pressured by Ling Zhu, but he still didn't intend to rat her out like that. It didn't feel right.

"Even though I can guess what happened," Ling Yunzhi mumbled. Narrowing her eyes, she watched Wang Yue like a hawk. "Did she push you too much? Tried to stuff you with cookies because she only meant well?" She rolled her eyes towards the end of the sentence.

Wang Yue pressed his lips together. He balled his fists and lowered his head, trying to focus on breathing. He didn't even want to remember that situation. 

"It's okay," Ling Yunzhi suddenly said. "You don't have to reply. Your reaction is telling enough."

"Sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I'm sorry you've been put into an uncomfortable situation, and I even reminded you of it." She smiled apologetically. "Do you want to come back inside with me?"

Wang Yue hesitated. He really wanted to take a shower — if only because he couldn't show up at work like this. And Wang Chao also needed one.

Ling Yunzhi patiently waited for Wang Yue's reply. She reminded him of Ling Rui. Wang Yue had always thought that Ling Rui had taken after his mother when it came to his kindness, but the better he got to know the Ling family, the more Wang Yue realized that Ling Rui had taken after his older aunt. On the surface, she could be strict and scary, but deep down, she was as empathetic and kind as Ling Rui. 

"Can I take a shower?" Wang Yue suddenly blurted out. "My brother also needs one and—" he paused. He didn't have anything else to say and lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Of course," Ling Yunzhi replied. "Let's go."

Nodding, Wang Yue followed her back inside. Every step up the stairs felt heavier than the previous one, and it hadn't anything to do with Wang Yue's exhaustion. He just didn't want to see Ling Zhu again. He liked her, but sometimes, her presence felt suffocating. 

"It's okay to speak up if something —or someone— is bothering you," Ling Yunzhi said as she walked slower so Wang Yue wouldn't fall behind.

He hummed in confirmation but didn't intend to follow her advice. He wouldn't dare. He wasn't in any position to complain about anything or anyone. He was an uninvited parasite, living at the Ling family's flat and letting his brother get spoiled at their expense. 

As they stepped back into the flat, Wang Yue was hit by the smell of food and immediately wanted to step back out again as he spotted Ling Zhu at the stove. 

"Xiao Yue!" she exclaimed as soon as she noticed him, and Wang Yue flinched. "I'm so glad you're back! I was so worried when you suddenly ran off!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. "I went jogging." It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a complete lie either. He could live with that.

"Di, you're back!" Wang Chao exclaimed, walking towards him.

Wang Yue used the chance to get out of the situation. "Go to the bathroom. It's time to take a shower."

"Can't we play? Let's draw!"

Guilt crept up Wang Yue's throat. He really had neglected his brother today, hadn't he? 

"Maybe afterwards," Wang Yue mumbled. He checked the time on his phone. If possible, he wanted to get to work a bit earlier to make up for the lost time yesterday. "Shower first."

"Come on, Chao'er," Ling Zhu said. "Be a good boy and listen to your brother. Take a shower first, and then we can all have dinner, alright?"

Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath, but before he could even get lost in his head again, Ling Yunzhi spoke up.

"If you're not careful, your vegetables are gonna burn."

"Oh!" Surprised, Ling Zhu turned his attention back to the stove, and Wang Yue let out a relieved breath.

His eyes darted to the drying racks occupying most of the living room. There was no way his clothes would be dry already, but Wang Yue would feel better if he didn't have to rely on Ling Rui's wardrobe anymore. He quickly fetched the clothes he had worn last night since they had been washed first this morning. The fabric was still damp, but Wang Yue didn't care. It could continue to dry while he wore it. Gritting his teeth, he had to accept that Wang Chao would have to wear Ling Rui's pajamas for one more night. Wang Yue couldn't force his brother to wear wet clothes and risk that his cold got worse again. 

After fetching their clothes, Wang Yue picked up their toiletries. He stored them under Ling Rui's bed since he didn't want to occupy too much space in the tiny bathroom. Afterwards, he went to the bathroom with his brother, closing the door behind them.

"Care to explain why you pushed him to eat again?" Ling Yunzhi asked loud enough to be heard inside the bathroom.

Wang Yue held his breath, pausing his movements as he helped Wang Chao out of his shirt. 

"Have you looked at him?" Ling Zhu replied, aghast. Either they both didn't know or didn't care how thin the walls were. "That boy is just skin and bones! He needs to eat!"

Reflexively, Wang Yue's eyes went to the mirror. Did he really look so bad? His cheeks were a little sunken, but that was only due to exhaustion, wasn't it? Last night had taken its toll on him.

"Di?" Wang Chao patted Wang Yue's arm to gain his attention.

Startled, Wang Yue forced himself to smile at his brother and help him out of his pants.

"Yes," Ling Yunzhi said, "but Ling Rui told us to offer him meals without pushing him!"

Ling Rui had talked to them about that? Wang Yue wasn't sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, he appreciated that Ling Rui tried to look out for him so Wang Yue wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but on the other hand, he hated that Ling Rui made an issue of this in the first place. Why was everyone freaking out whenever he decided to skip a meal? It wouldn't kill him. It never had, so far. He was the living proof of that.

"You're clinging too much to the phrasing of one single sentence Ling Rui has said."

Oh. So Ling Rui hadn't made a big deal out of it. Wang Yue relaxed.

"Ling Rui chooses his words carefully," Ling Yunzhi replied. "So stop pushing Wang Yue."

"I don't care what Ling Rui said. It's not healthy how little Xiao Yue eats, Da-jie!" Ling Zhu retorted, and Wang Yue felt offended. He was healthy enough. Wang Chao was the one who had —unfortunately— caught a cold and not him! Remembering that he shouldn't wait until his brother got cold before his shower, Wang Yue took off his shirt and put it in the dirty laundry basket.

"All the more reason to listen to Ling Rui!" Ling Yunzhi hissed outside. "He knows best. He's a doctor—"

"He's not a doctor for eating habits!"

"Stop interrupting people all the time!" Ling Yunzhi said, her voice louder and stricter than before. "Ling Rui is a doctor and Wang Yue's boyfriend. He knows him best."

"Di, look!" Wang Chao said, holding the shower head and reaching for the faucet. Wang Yue quickly took it out of his hands and grabbed Wang Chao's wrist before he could flood the bathroom. Wang Yue really had seen enough flooded rooms today. Quickly, he slipped out of his pants, hissing when the fabric rubbed over his hurt knee. It was red and swollen. Ling Rui would be so mad if he saw that. Wang Yue had to do something.

"I just meant well!" Ling Zhu yelled in the kitchen. "That boy is going through enough trouble with that water damage in his flat!"

"Then don't make him feel worse by pushing him to do things that clearly make him uncomfortable!" Ling Yunzhi exclaimed.

"I only meant well!" Ling Zhu yelled, and Wang Yue flinched when he heard a loud clanking sound. Had Ling Zhu thrown something into the sink? Wang Yue hadn't expected her to do something like this, but she sounded really angry. Wang Yue knew that she only meant well. Maybe he was the problem. Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu wouldn't have to fight if he had accepted her kindness — and her meals. Ling Rui's family had always been so kind and harmonious. He had never thought they were even able to fight like that. Wang Yue had once again messed up. He wondered how much longer they would let him stay until they were fed up with him ruining the mood all the time. 

"You always mean well, Zhu'er," Ling Yunzhi replied, sounding exasperated. "I'm not doubting your sincerity. But sometimes, you do the wrong thing and make everything worse, even though you mean well. He won't feel better if you suffocate him with your care. If you want to coddle someone, spoil Chao'er. He enjoys it. You've gotta learn to accept boundaries. Give Wang Yue some space. And give your son some privacy." 

"What does Ling Rui have to do with this?"

"He's a grown man, Zhu'er," Ling Yunzhi replied, and she sounded as if they had had the same conversation several times already. "Stop barging into his room unannounced all the time."

"Haha!" Wang Chao laughed as he turned on the shower, the sound of the rushing water drowning out the conversation in the kitchen. 

"Careful!" Wang Yue exclaimed and pulled the shower curtain shut. He quickly pulled off his socks, gritting his teeth as the fabric stuck to his burst blisters. Today had really taught him how important it was to wear comfortable, fitting shoes. He still heard Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu talking in the kitchen, but their voices were too muffled to be understood. Maybe it was better this way. Listening in on their conversation had only served to make Wang Yue feel unwell, but he hadn't been able to not listen. Maybe he should be grateful that Wang Chao had gotten him out of that situation by turning on the shower.

As if on cue, Wang Chao was laughing loudly, spraying some water against the shower curtain. Wang Yue should hurry and join him. Helplessly, Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui's ripped jeans again. He still hadn't decided how to solve that predicament. Too scared to face that problem, he hid the pants at the bottom of the dirty laundry basket. He would talk to Ling Rui about it tomorrow. They wouldn't see each other today anyway since Wang Yue would already be gone when Ling Rui returned from his late shift. 

Wang Yue missed Ling Rui, but maybe it was better that way. If they didn't meet, Wang Yue couldn't mess anything up.

Sighing, Wang Yue joined his brother in the shower.

 

Notes:

Sorry for the sudden cut. The chapter was getting too long (again).

Also, please don't call me out on any injuries and their treatment in this and the following chapters. I have no medical knowledge. This is just fiction. But feel free to talk to me about this fic/chapter, make memes, and cry/yell in the comments. Passionate feedback keeps me going!

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Chapter 8: Coldest night (Tuesday, March 30th)

Summary:

Despite his exhaustion, Wang Yue goes to work and is glad about that familiar feeling of falling back into a well-known routine. That is, until he returns to the flat of the Ling family at night and remembers that he has forgotten something very important.

Notes:

During research, I noticed that the Ling family has a small aquarium. I went back to ch 4 and added one sentence to mention it exists. It's not important for this chapter, but I don't want anyone to be confused if it gets mentioned later in the fic.

Also, yes, the total chapter count went from 18 to 20 during editing XD

And now I hope you are ready for some hurt/comfort. (・∀・ )

5,9k words

When Wang Yue turned off the shower, it was quiet. Apparently, the quarrel in the kitchen had finally dissipated. He enjoyed the short moment of peace, focusing on getting his brother dried and clothed before he could run out of the room naked as the day he had been born. For once, getting himself dressed was more of a chore since his clothes were still damp after only having been washed that morning. They clung to his skin, but Wang Yue didn't mind. They would dry soon enough. Once they both looked presentable again, they left the bathroom, Wang Yue carrying their toiletries.

Ling Yunzhi was sitting at the table set for four, rice and a few side dishes already laid out. Ling Zhu was in the kitchen, stirring the vegetables one last time before turning off the stove.

When Wang Chao spotted the food, he excitedly ran towards the dining table and tried to snatch some fried eggplant with his fingers, but Wang Yue quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Wait for the others," he scolded. "And don't eat with your bare hands. You'll get burned."

"Di, I'm hungry!" Wang Chao complained, stomping with his feet. Wang Yue sighed. How could he already be hungry again? His brother really had a hearty appetite. 

"Sorry," Wang Yue whispered to Ling Zhu and Ling Yunzhi.

"It's fine, it's fine!" Ling Zhu replied, placing the wok with the stirfry on the table. "Just sit down and eat, you two. We don't have to wait for Yazhi and Ling Rui. Who knows when they'll come home."

"Oh." Wang Yue grimaced. He wasn't in the mood to eat with Ling Zhu. He didn't bear a grudge, but his stomach clenched just at the thought of Ling Zhu shoveling huge amounts of food on his plate, forcing him to eat everything.

Ling Yunzhi cleared her throat.

"If you want," Ling Zhu suddenly added, unsubtly staring at her sister-in-law for confirmation. Ling Yunzhi closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as if annoyed by something. From what Wang Yue had listened in on earlier, Ling Yunzhi wouldn't push him to eat. And apparently, Ling Zhu was trying to hold back now. He appreciated that. But somehow, Wang Yue felt even more pressured now that he knew that they knew that he—

He couldn't do this.

"Sit down," he whispered, pushing Wang Chao onto his chair. "I've gotta put that away." He nodded towards the toiletries he still carried before his gaze drifted towards the kitchen. He only now remembered that he had run away earlier while being in the middle of cleaning Wang Chao's toys. Surprised, he noticed that everything was gone.

"Oh." Ling Zhu perked up. "If you're looking for Chao'er toys, I've cleaned them all and put them into a box." She nodded towards the living room, and Wang Yue followed her line of sight. A big cardboard box stood next to the coffee table.

"You didn't have to do that. Sorry that I left in the middle of cleaning," Wang Yue apologized immediately. He would never be able to pay her back for everything she had done for him.

"When do you have to leave for work?" Ling Yunzhi asked, and Wang Yue took it as his chance to escape. It was still a bit early, but he couldn't wait to get out of here.

"Now," he replied. His eyes flicked to Wang Chao. "Would you mind putting him to bed later?"

"Of course not!" Ling Zhu replied. "Leave it to your Ayi. I'll even read Chao'er a bedtime story."

"With fish!" Wang Chao exclaimed happily. Lately, he really loved his picture book about fish more than the one about rabbits that he used to prefer for years.

"Yes, we can read your picture book with the fish," Ling Zhu confirmed while shoving food onto Wang Chao's plate. 

Wang Yue felt relieved. No matter how stressed Ling Zhu's presence made him feel, he knew that Wang Chao was in good hands with her. 

"Thank you." Wang Yue went to store the toiletries under Ling Rui's bed again —his right knee painfully pulsing with every step— before returning to the table. "Be good and listen to your Ayis," Wang Yue said, patting Wang Chao's shoulders. He looked at Ling Zhu and Ling Yunzhi. "Thanks for looking after him." 

"It's no trouble," Ling Zhu replied. "Are you really leaving already?" She frowned.

"Yeah," Wang Yue confirmed. "Gotta work."

"What about dinner?" Ling Zhu asked, and Ling Yunzhi's eyes flicked towards her. "I'm not pushing," Ling Zhu hissed, and Ling Yunzhi dragged a hand over her face, sighing. "I'm just asking."

Wang Yue tried to force himself to smile, but the corner of his mouth only twitched once. Ling Zhu only meant well. He needed to remind himself of that. She only meant well. 

"I'll eat at the restaurant," he said briefly. He disliked lying, but the words had fallen from his lips on their own. After putting on his jacket, he slipped back into Ling Rui's sneakers, biting back a hiss as his blistered feet hurt. Fortunately, his job required more driving than walking. "Bye-bye." Without waiting for a reply, he went outside.

 

---

 

Working had never felt like such a blessing before. After everything that had happened since last night, Wang Yue was grateful for a moment of his familiar daily routine. After chugging down a bottle of water, he ignored the burning pain in his feet, his throbbing knee, and his nausea and focused on delivering meals instead. His hands were freezing since he had no idea where his gloves were, but they had been in poor condition anyway. Losing them wouldn't make much of a difference. His damp clothes felt even wetter when they got hit by the cold wind, but whining wouldn't change anything. So, he gritted his teeth and pushed through.

At some point during his work shift, Meilin asked what he would have done without Ling Rui the previous night, and the question pulled the rug out from under his feet. It was a valid question. What would he have done without Ling Rui? What could he have done without Ling Rui — without money? He could have stayed at a hotel, trying to get his landlord to pay for it since the guy failed to fulfill his part of the rental contract. But Wang Yue would have had to fight for weeks to receive that money from his landlord and probably never would have gotten the full amount. It wouldn't have worked out. Maybe Wang Yue would have asked to sleep at the restaurant — Wang Chao on the old couch in Zhang Wei's office and Wang Yue on the floor. Because where else could he have gone? The world was big, but there was no place for him.

Wang Yue only now realized how dependent he was on Ling Rui and his family. It was a scary thought. For years, Wang Yue had solely provided for himself and his brother, but now he suddenly had to depend on others. It made him feel weak and pathetic, and he spent the remaining time of his work shift haunted by negative thoughts, his mood plummeting further and further. 

Around midnight, Zhang Wei closed his restaurant since he didn't expect any more guests, and Wang Yue set out for the Ling family's home. Exhaustion made his limbs heavy, and he sighed in relief when he finally reached his goal. Parking his bike, he shivered as he got off and limped the last few meters. His legs really hurt by now. His muscles were sore, even his blisters had blisters, and his knee throbbed so much with every step that Wang Yue was afraid it might give in. Standing in front of the house, he reached into the pocket of his denim jacket.

He didn't have a key.

Wang Yue froze in place. Why had he not thought about that sooner? He was such an idiot! He knocked his head against the locked door and took a deep breath, feeling pain and coldness radiating from his forehead. He slouched his shoulders. Turning around, he took a step to the side, slid down to sit on the ground, and leaned against the wall next to the door. Hissing, he stretched his right leg, his knee protesting. It hurt. It really hurt. But bending it hurt even more.

Wang Yue shivered as the coldness of the night crept up on him. He pulled up his left leg and hugged it. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't have any other place to go and didn't dare to ring the bell and wake everyone up. For a moment, Wang Yue pondered calling Ling Rui, but then he remembered the dark circles under Ling Rui's eyes and how stressed and sleep-deprived he had been for days. Like hell, Wang Yue would disturb Ling Rui's well-earned rest!

A rumbling sound drifted to Wang Yue's ears, and he realized that it was his growling stomach. He huffed at the irony of it. Now of all times, his body decided to demand food? Well, now it was too late. Wang Yue sighed and threw his head back, bonking it against the wall. He looked up. The sky was clear, and he could see the stars. They were beautiful. It was an especially cold early spring night, but at least it wasn't raining. He sighed again, watching the white cloud of breath dissipating in the air. 

Another shiver rushed through his body, and he rubbed his arms. It was so cold. Wang Yue had always thought that his bedroom at home was cold, but it was a luxury compared to this. Home. Wang Yue had never been fond of the two rundown rooms he called his home, but now he missed them. Two days ago, his life had still been normal. And now, everything seemed off-kilter. He felt like he was losing his place in the world — if he ever even had one to begin with.

Yawning, Wang Yue took out his phone. When did Ling Rui usually get up? Around six or seven o'clock? At that time, Wang Yue could call him and ask him to open the door. Wang Yue just had to wait until then. That meant about five more hours. He could manage. Shivering, he buried his nose in his scarf. Even if it didn't smell like Ling Rui anymore like it used to when he had first received it, the scarf always helped ground Wang Yue. It felt like a piece of Ling Rui was always with him. Wang Yue really wished Ling Rui were here right now, pulling him into a warm embrace.

Groaning, Wang Yue shook his head. What was he thinking? Usually, he wasn't this needy. Ling Rui had better things to do than pamper Wang Yue. Wang Yue didn't even want to get pampered. Dealing with Ling Zhu had been enough today. When he saw how much she spoiled his brother, Wang Yue was happy for him but wouldn't want to be in his place. 

The wind picked up, and Wang Yue's body began to tremble. Why was it so cold tonight? He could barely feel his fingers anymore. He pulled his right leg closer to his body, ignoring the throbbing pain in his knee. It was too cold. He couldn't stop shivering. He had hoped to catch some minutes of sleep while waiting for Ling Rui to wake up, but it was too cold to even think about sleep. How was he supposed to sleep when he couldn't stop trembling? His body was too restless. Wang Yue tried to move his toes, unsure whether or not he even felt them. 

He just wanted to go home — wherever that even was.

Was this his home now? It didn't feel like it. He didn't even have a key. But when he had visited his flat today, it hadn't felt like home either. Wang Yue shook his head, trying to suppress the pictures of his destroyed door, soaked floor, and broken shelf. He almost hadn't recognized his flat anymore. Everything had looked so different. It was like Wang Yue had seen it all with different eyes. He had always known how shabby his flat was, but today, he had truly realized for the first time just how bad it was. And he didn't even want to think about the mold that Ling Rui had found behind his furniture. Wang Yue groaned. Since when had that been there? Why hadn't he noticed it before? Was that the reason Wang Chao had gotten sick? 

Wang Yue shuddered as another gust of wind ruffled his hair. Why did it have to be so cold tonight? Why did he have to be outside? He didn't want this anymore. He was sick and tired of it all. He just wanted some peace and quiet. Why couldn't he be happy? He didn't want to freeze anymore. He didn't want to be in pain anymore. He didn't want to be alone anymore. 

Biting down on his bottom lip, Wang Yue swallowed down a sob. Crying wouldn't help him. He wasn't that weak. There was no reason to cry. One night outside wouldn't kill him. He just had to grit his teeth and stay strong. 

But Wang Yue didn't want to be strong anymore. He was tired — so, so tired.

As he sat there, hugging his legs and shivering so loudly that his teeth chattered, he almost didn't notice when his phone rang. It had to be a dream. Maybe he had fallen asleep or passed out after all. With trembling hands, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers were so cold that he barely managed to hold it. When he spotted Ling Rui's name on the display, Wang Yue had to swallow another lump down his throat. Somehow, he managed to accept the call with his cold, trembling fingers.

"Xiao Yue?" Ling Rui asked as soon as the line connected. "It's so late. Why aren't you home yet? Where are you?" He sounded agitated. Was he mad?

"Outside," Wang Yue mumbled.

"What?"

"I don't have a key."

"Outside the house?" Ling Rui exclaimed in disbelief, his voice cracking towards the end of his question.

"Mmn."

"Oh my god!" Ling Rui exclaimed, and Wang Yue heard rustling sheets, followed by hurried footsteps. "Stay right where you are. I'll come down and get you."

Wang Yue huffed. Even if he didn't want to stay, he had no choice but to do so. It felt like he was frozen in place, his body too cold and exhausted to move even a single finger. He was so tired of it all. Throughout his whole life, he had needed to be strong for his brother. And even when he hadn't been strong, he'd had to pretend to be. It was Wang Yue's duty, and he loved his brother enough to do that for him, but sometimes, it didn't feel fair. Sometimes, Wang Yue just longed for a break. Sometimes, he wanted to be allowed to be weak. Sometimes, he needed to be taken care of. 

Wang Yue knew it couldn't have taken Ling Rui more than a minute to come downstairs, but every second he waited felt endlessly long. When the door finally opened, Wang Yue was so overcome by relief that he raised his arms like a little child begging to get picked up by their mother.

"Rui-ge."

Warmth filled Wang Yue's heart when Ling Rui immediately leaned down to wrap his arms around him, pressing him against his dark blue satin pajama. Wang Yue gasped in surprise when Ling Rui picked him up without hesitation. Reflexively, Wang Yue wrapped his arms and legs around Ling Rui, clinging to him like a koala. 

"You could have called me!" Ling Rui scolded as he carried Wang Yue up the stairs, and it sounded like he barely managed to hold back an insult at the end. A whine slipped from Ling Rui's lips. He must have been worried.

"I didn't want to wake you up," Wang Yue mumbled, still perplexed that he was getting carried. Why was he getting carried? He was never getting carried. "Let me down." His legs twitched as he tried to move. "I can walk on my own." It was a lie. He couldn't. He had no energy left. 

"I'll let you down when we're inside," Ling Rui replied. "God, you're so cold, Xiao Yue!" He shivered as if Wang Yue's cold had already seeped through their clothes and into Ling Rui's body.

"Sorry."

"I'm sorry for not noticing sooner."

"You were asleep," Wang Yue whispered.

"Yes, but before going to sleep, I could have checked if someone had given you the spare key."

"It's my fault that I forgot to ask." Wang Yue wouldn't even have dared to ask. This wasn't his home. Why should anyone give him a key? It had been weird enough that Ling Rui had given him the key to the basement this afternoon. 

Instead of replying, Ling Rui only sighed, and Wang Yue wasn't sure whether he agreed or was too tired to discuss this topic. It didn't matter anyway. Wang Yue knew it had been his mistake. 

"Why are you up anyway?"

"I just woke up and wondered why you weren't home yet," Ling Rui explained while taking the last step up the stairs.

A relieved sigh slipped from Wang Yue's lips when they entered the flat. It was so much warmer here. Ling Rui paused to slip out of his shoes before walking through the dark. Ling Yazhi was asleep on the couch in the living room, the moonlight shining through the thin white curtains. Wang Yue was surprised when Ling Rui turned right instead of going to his bedroom. After using his elbow to turn on the lights, Ling Rui entered the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

"Take off your clothes," he instructed as he set Wang Yue down on the closed toilet lid.

Perplexed, Wang Yue watched as Ling Rui turned around and searched for something on the shelf. Why should Wang Yue undress? Ling Rui couldn't intend to fuck in the bathroom, could he?

"You should take a shower to warm up," Ling Rui explained, pulling a big, fluffy towel from the shelf.

Wang Yue felt like an idiot for his previous thought, but that wasn't the reason he hesitated. A hot shower sounded like heaven, but if Ling Rui saw the state of his knee, he would ask questions, and Wang Yue still hadn't decided how to confess that he had ripped Ling Rui's jeans. Self-consciously, he grabbed his thighs and lowered his head.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered. With a fond smile, he crouched down, the towel trapped between his torso and legs. He was barefoot. He really must have rushed out of bed to pick up Wang Yue downstairs, only quickly slipping into his shoes at the entrance door. Carefully, Ling Rui reached for Wang Yue's fists, cupping them with his hands. They were so warm. Wang Yue relaxed his chilled fingers. "What happened?" Ling Rui asked with so much patience and understanding that Wang Yue didn't know how to deal with it. "We wanted to communicate more, didn't we?"

"I ripped your jeans," Wang Yue blurted out without thinking, his hands trembling. Ling Rui squeezed them tighter. There must have been a way to break the news more gently, but Wang Yue couldn't think straight anymore. He was cold, tired, and exhausted. He just wanted to lie down, close his eyes, and forget about the world.

"What happened?" Ling Rui looked so small yet so reliable as he crouched in front of Wang Yue.

"I fell," Wang Yue admitted, feeling ashamed. "I didn't pay attention." He hated how broken and quiet his voice was. "I spaced out. I'm sorry. You told me to be more careful, but it happened again." He hated himself for letting that happen again. How often had it happened lately? "I was running away and—" Wang Yue shook his head.

"You ran away?" Ling Rui furrowed his brows in confusion but never lost his patience. "From what?"

Wang Yue didn't know how to reply. 'Everything' wouldn't be an answer Ling Rui accepted. But for a while, it had felt like he had been running away from everything. He shivered, the coldness still deep in his bones. "Everything," he whispered, "my thoughts, my feelings, your mother—"

Ling Rui sucked in a sharp breath before narrowing his eyes, squeezing Wang Yue's hands almost painfully tight. "What did she do?"

Wang Yue shook his head. He didn't want to remember. "She meant well, but she pushed me," he explained anyway. He had promised to communicate more, hadn't he? "She wanted to clean all my stuff and urged me to eat. She tried to force me. It was suffocating."

Anger painted Ling Rui's face.

"She only meant well," Wang Yue mumbled more to himself than to Ling Rui.

"It doesn't mean that she did well!" Ling Rui clicked his tongue, and Wang Yue failed to reply. "She should mind her own business. When I came home, she only told me that you didn't eat anything at home but wanted to eat at the restaurant instead. She wondered if you disliked our meals but didn't mention anything about trying to force you to eat."

"But she did!" Wang Yue retorted reflexively. "She really would have forced me if I hadn't escaped." Why did she even have to talk to Ling Rui about this? Why was everyone talking about this?

"I know." Ling Rui smiled reassuringly, the grip of his hands loosening. "I know you won't lie to me."

Groaning, Wang Yue buried his face in his hands, the sleeves of his jacket slipping down to his elbows. He was digging his own grave. "But I lied to your mother about eating dinner at the restaurant. Sorry." He couldn't stop the words from falling from his lips. "I know you hate lies. Sorry. I didn't mean to! I—"

"Hey." Tentatively, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's wrists and pulled his hands back. "Look at me."

Scared, Wang Yue peeked at Ling Rui's face, surprised when he noticed the soft smile. 

"Thank you for telling me the truth now."

Feeling his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, Wang Yue averted his eyes. "I hadn't intended to lie to her," he mumbled to explain himself. "But after everything she did this afternoon, I—" He paused, feeling like he was fishing for excuses.

"It's okay, Xiao Yue. I understand." Ling Rui's warm fingertips slipped down Wang Yue's wrists, his thumbs brushing over the backs of Wang Yue's hands. "I can talk to her about it if you want. I can tell her to mind her own business."

"Don't." Wang Yue shook his head again. "Your aunt already got into a fight with her."

"Da-gu?" 

Wang Yue nodded, and Ling Rui grimaced. 

"I'm so sorry you had to witness all that negativity."

"They both meant well," Wang Yue whispered.

"I hope tomorrow will be better." Ling Rui sighed.

"It's fine." It wasn't. But Wang Yue didn't want Ling Rui to get into a fight with his family.

"Alright," Ling Rui said, followed by a yawn. 

It made Wang Yue become aware of how late it was. Ling Rui wasn't even supposed to be awake anymore. Why were they even sitting  in the bathroom in the middle of the night when they could be cuddling in a warm bed instead?

"Wait." Suddenly, Ling Rui frowned. "You said you fell." His eyes widened. "Did you get hurt? I'm sorry. That should have been the first question to ask."

"I ripped your jeans," Wang Yue repeated, but Ling Rui only shook his head.

"I don't care about some pants." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's hands tighter. "Are you alright?" 

Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip and saw the exact moment when his hesitation caused Ling Rui's patience to run out. Ling Rui's expression tensed, his brows drawn together. He lifted Wang Yue's hands and turned them around, checking his palms for injury before his eyes darted further down. He reached for Wang Yue's left shoe and untied the shoelaces. Wang Yue hissed the moment Ling Rui held his ankle and tried to pull the shoe off.

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered, widening the shoe even further before carefully pulling it off. "Bear with it for a moment."

"It's just some blisters," Wang Yue mumbled, but Ling Rui never lost his scrutinizing gaze. Wang Yue gritted his teeth when Ling Rui carefully took off his sock and inspected his foot from all angles, even checking his ankles and toes.

"I'm sorry," Ling Rui whispered. "It's because my shoes are too big for you."

"That's not your fault." Wang Yue was glad he had gotten any shoes at all. If he had worn his wet shoes, his toes would have frozen off for real. And it had been his own fault for going running this afternoon.

When Ling Rui lifted Wang Yue's right foot next, Wang Yue's knee throbbed with so much pain that he hissed loudly and reflexively grabbed the toilet bowl to avoid toppling over. 

Ling Rui's eyes widened in shock. "Your knee?"

Wang Yue huffed. "Can't hide anything from Doctor Ling, can I?"

"You shouldn't even try to hide it."

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled. "I didn't want you to get worried, or mad, or—" Feeling like he was digging his own grave again, Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip to shut up.

After carefully taking off Wang Yue's right shoe and sock, Ling Rui looked at Wang Yue's fly. "Can you take off your pants, or should I cut them open?"

"I'm not an emergency patient for surgery!" Wang Yue exclaimed and immediately stood up, favoring his left leg. Ling Rui got up as well, steadying Wang Yue so he wouldn't fall. After opening his pants, Wang Yue pulled them down below his ass and let go. He expected them to get caught on his thighs, but they simply fell to the floor, pooling around his ankles. Had his legs gotten that much slimmer? Why had he never noticed that until now? 

Ling Rui looked at Wang Yue's knee and inhaled sharply. He opened his mouth, and Wang Yue braced himself for a lecture, but Ling Rui only sighed. "Sit down," he whispered. "Be careful."

Wang Yue did as he was told. Ling Rui rested Wang Yue's foot on the towel in his lap and thoroughly examined his swollen, skinned knee. It looked even worse than this afternoon. Tentatively, Ling Rui palpated the skin that wasn't torn, his expression focused.

Somehow, the silence was even more oppressive than getting scolded.

"It wasn't that bad at first," Wang Yue mumbled, having the urge to vindicate himself.

"It got worse because you strained it too much," Ling Rui explained, and Wang Yue immediately felt guilty again. He knew he had to take better care of himself. Why was he such an idiot? What had he been thinking? Maybe he hadn't been thinking at all. And why wasn't Ling Rui scolding him? Wang Yue deserved it. 

"Why aren't you yelling at me?" Wang Yue asked, his self-destructive nature breaking through. Why couldn't he just be happy that Ling Rui didn't get worked up over this?

"What's the point?" Ling Rui smiled tiredly. "You already know that you should have said something sooner, and I can see you regret it."

Wang Yue pressed his trembling lips together but couldn't stop the next words from escaping his mouth anyway. "If you don't scold me, I'll think that it doesn't matter to you — that I don't matter to you."

Surprised, they stared at each other before Wang Yue slapped a hand against his mouth, afraid of what else he might say unintentionally. 

"I do care," Ling Rui said. Looking into Wang Yue's eyes, he squeezed his thigh. "I don't want you to get injured, to run away, to skip meals, to—" Ling Rui took a deep breath and shook his head. "I don't know how to say this. I'm exhausted, Yue'er. We both are. But please believe me when I say that I do care," he repeated. "I'm so worried about you that I seriously don't even know what to do anymore. I wish nothing more than to help you in every way possible until you're happy and carefree. But crushing you with my feelings or getting angry won't help. I'm trying to steer a healthy middle course. This whole situation isn't easy for me either." 

Once again, Wang Yue noticed the dark circles under Ling Rui's eyes. Ling Rui had already been overworked for days but still had skipped sleep last night to rush to Wang Chao's side and had helped clear out Wang Yue's flat this morning without complaining even once. And as if that weren't enough already, he had also worked at the hospital the whole day. He had to be exhausted. And now he was awake in the middle of the night again to take care of Wang Yue.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't Wang Yue's intention to make things worse for Ling Rui. 

"I know," Ling Rui replied, reassuringly stroking Wang Yue's thigh. 

"What should I do?" Wang Yue asked, afraid to mess this up on his own again.

"How about this: Take a shower to warm up, let me treat your wounds, and then we'll go to bed and sleep," Ling Rui suggested carefully.

It sounded reasonable. Ling Rui always kept a calm mind and knew what to do next. Wang Yue nodded. 

"I'm always here for you, Yue'er," Ling Rui said with a soft smile. "And if I'm not around, you can always call for me — even in the middle of the night or when I'm at work."

Overwhelmed by Ling Rui's attention and care, Wang Yue whined in frustration when his cold fingertips refused to open the buttons of his denim jacket. 

"Let me help," Ling Rui whispered. Tentatively, he placed a hand on Wang Yue's. "We'll be quicker this way."

It wasn't easy for Wang Yue to accept help, but Ling Rui was right; They were both tired and exhausted. Instead of falling into a dance of Ling Rui offering help and Wang Yue refusing it, he should just give in and let it happen for once. He could always pay back Ling Rui another time. He still owed him so much anyway. Wang Yue didn't even want to think about it right now. They could discuss financials tomorrow.

Quietly, Wang Yue gave in and nodded.

Ling Rui looked pleased as he took off Wang Yue's scarf before unbuttoning his jacket.

"My phone," Wang Yue whispered, and Ling Rui reached into the pocket of the jacket. He securely placed the phone on the shelf before dropping the clothes on the floor. Afterwards, Ling Rui took off Wang Yue's remaining clothes. Steadied by Ling Rui, Wang Yue limped into the shower without straining his right knee. 

"You've gotta warm up slowly," Ling Rui explained, setting the water temperature to lukewarm.

"Alright," Wang Yue replied, turning on the shower after Ling Rui had drawn the shower curtain shut. 

"Tell me if you need help," Ling Rui offered, and Wang Yue heard the sound of the sink cabinet being opened. 

"I'm okay," Wang Yue whispered truthfully. Even though Ling Rui had set the water temperature to lukewarm, it felt hot on his chilly skin. Closing his eyes, Wang Yue allowed himself to enjoy the warm water for a moment. 

Once Wang Yue felt warm again, he didn't waste any more water and stepped out of the shower, where Ling Rui immediately wrapped the big, fluffy towel around his shoulders. Wang Yue felt warm and safe. It was an unusual feeling but a good one. Hesitatingly, he allowed Ling Rui to kneel down and dry his legs with another towel. Their eyes met, and Ling Rui smiled as if he enjoyed taking care of Wang Yue like that. It was a weird thought.

"Keep the towel to stay warm for now," Ling Rui said as he got back up again. He wrapped the big towel around Wang Yue's chest, covering his torso to the middle of his thigh.

"Okay." Wang Yue couldn't deny he liked how warm and fluffy it was.

"Sit down," Ling Rui nodded towards the closed toilet lid. Steadying Wang Yue, he helped him to take a seat. Afterwards, Ling Rui reached for a first aid box that hadn't been there before. He had probably fetched it from the cabinet while Wang Yue had been in the shower.

Quietly, Wang Yue watched how Ling Rui applied ointment to his blisters before covering them with bandaids. Afterwards, Ling Rui treated his knee, causing Wang Yue to hiss as he carefully applied the ointment to the broken skin.

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered, even though he had barely touched Wang Yue. 

"It's fine," Wang Yue whispered, gritting his teeth.

Fortunately, it didn't take long until Ling Rui reached for a bandage and covered Wang Yue's knee. Once he was done, Ling Rui immediately picked up Wang Yue as if he weighed nothing.

Gasping, Wang Yue reflexively wrapped his arms around Ling Rui. "I can walk on my own." Sometimes, Wang Yue wondered why he never could let himself get spoiled for long, even though he wanted to.

"Nonsense," Ling Rui mumbled, tightening his grip. Without giving Wang Yue another chance to protest, Ling Rui turned around. Wang Yue only managed to quickly grab his phone from the shelf before Ling Rui left the bathroom and carried him to his room. After placing him down on the bed, Ling Rui hurried off again, mumbling, "I'll fetch an ice pack for your knee."

After almost freezing to death, Wang Yue didn't look forward to an ice pack, but Ling Rui was a doctor and knew what he was doing. Wang Yue placed his phone on the nightstand and put on the shirt Ling Rui had lent him last night. He didn't have any underwear within reach but didn't mind. He preferred sleeping with fewer clothes, and Ling Rui's bedroom should be warm enough. Feeling self-conscious and being afraid to get cold, he pulled up the blanket to cover his legs and groin.

When Ling Rui returned with the ice pack, Wang Yue stuck his right leg out of the blanket. Ling Rui placed the ice pack on Wang Yue's bandaged knee before securing it with another bandage. 

Exhausted, they both lay down, Wang Yue hissing as he tried but failed to find a comfortable position for his knee. 

"Wait," Ling Rui whispered. He rearranged himself in bed, taking his place on Wang Yue's other side, lying on his back. "Come here," he encouraged Wang Yue to turn until he lay on his left side. "Place your knee here." Carefully, he grabbed Wang Yue's right thigh and pulled it up until Wang Yue's knee rested on his stomach. 

Wang Yue sighed in relief when his knee stopped throbbing, the pressure gone. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arm around Ling Rui, but when he felt Ling Rui's warmth, Wang Yue cuddled even closer and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow would be a better day. He only had to firmly believe it to be true. 

 

Notes:

"fun" fact: Wang Yue was supposed to return home, accidentally wake up Ling Rui when crawling into bed, and then sleep with his back turned towards him. But the moment I wrote about Wang Yue returning home and reaching into his pocket, I realized that I never gave him a key, and then this *points at the whole chapter* happened. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That made him suffer even more, but he also got some comfort that wasn't planned (yet).

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Chapter 9: On the mend (Wednesday, March 31th)

Summary:

To rest his knee, Wang Yue spends the day at the flat of the Ling family.

Notes:

You don't wanna know how often I've cut and rearranged chapters 9-13.

Chapter title by G!

6,3k words

The first thing Wang Yue became aware of was Ling Rui's displeased groan. Next, he realized that his phone was ringing. Startled, he sat up straight in bed, wincing when he put too much pressure on his knee. Why was his phone ringing? It couldn't be that something had happened to Wang Chao, could it? 

He quickly reached for the nightstand, the bright display of his phone blinding him. His landlord, Zhao Jun, was calling him. With trembling fingers, Wang Yue accepted the call.

"Yes?" he rasped, his voice rough from sleep.

"Oh, finally pickin' up, aren't ya?" Zhao Jun huffed. "I just wanted ta tell ya the whole buildin' needs ta be renovated so the rent will increase 'cause the quality of the flats will go up," he talked loud enough for Ling Rui to turn on the bedside lamp and sit up with a worried expression.

"What?" A foreboding sense of dread made Wang Yue's stomach turn.

"For the next half year, the rent's gonna increase 10% every month compared to the previous month." 

That had to be a joke. Wang Yue was too tired to do the exact math, but that meant his rent would increase at least by half. How was he ever supposed to scrape up enough money to cover that? 

"And no, I won't accept any late payments," Zhao Jun said. "Since it's such short notice, I'll give you a week to decide whether you'll keep the place or fin'lly move out at the end of next month. Call me back ta tell me yer decision." 

"That's not legal!" Ling Rui called out as soon as he realized that Zhao Jun had hung up on Wang Yue. "I'm calling Fangning to ask for a lawyer." He reached for his phone.

"Don't," Wang Yue whispered, placing a hand on Ling Rui's arm to stop him. "It doesn't matter."

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter?" Ling Rui exclaimed but gave up on fetching his phone. It was rare for him to be this agitated. "This is insane, Xiao Yue! He can't just—"

"He's wanted to throw me out for years." Wang Yue huffed. Maybe he should have been more shocked, but somehow, he had seen it coming. He hadn't known when and how it would happen, but he had always known his landlord wanted to get rid of him. "I never liked living there in the first place. And even if you're right—" Wang Yue cleared his throat, silently cursing himself for questioning Ling Rui's judgment. "I mean, I know that you're right. This can't be legal. But I don't have the time or strength to file a lawsuit. I can't afford it."

"But he can't just—" Ling Rui snapped his mouth shut and yanked on his hair, venting his anger. "You can't afford to keep living there either if the rent increases that much!"

Wang Yue smiled bitterly. He knew that only too well. He opened the calculator app on his phone to do the math and felt ready to cry. The rent would be increased by about three-fourths in the end. The money that had previously served for seven months would now be used up in four. It was impossible to handle. Wang Yue struggled at the end of every month to keep his brother fed. He couldn't handle such a sudden rise in expenses. Dropping his phone, he pulled up his legs and buried his face in the blanket. His right knee hurt. The ice pack had melted overnight. If all of this was a nightmare, he just wanted to wake up already.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered softly, soothingly rubbing Wang Yue's back.

"I don't know what to do," Wang Yue admitted, mumbling against his knees.

"Probably get some more sleep first," Ling Rui replied, the tone of his voice half joking, half serious. "We will think about it together and come up with a solution, I promise."

And what if they didn't? Lately, everything seemed to go wrong. Wang Yue didn't think it would be different this time. 

"Let me check your knee before I have to go to work."

Wang Yue didn't reply but didn't protest either when Ling Rui carefully reached for his right leg. He was still wearing nothing but one of Ling Rui's shirts, so Ling Rui had easy access to his knee. Sighing, Wang Yue simply flopped back down, his leg resting in Ling Rui's lap, the blanket covering his lap. How late was it anyway? It was still dark outside. 

"Sorry I woke you up," Wang Yue mumbled.

"You didn't wake me up," Ling Rui clarified while unwrapping the outer layer of bandages to retrieve the warmed-up ice pack.

It was still Wang Yue's fault that Ling Rui had gotten robbed of sleep again. If Wang Yue hadn't been here or had turned off his phone, Ling Rui would still be sleeping now. 

"Do you have to work tonight?" Ling Rui asked, taking off the other bandage.

"Of course," Wang Yue replied, taken aback. What kind of question was that? Frowning, Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui and saw him worriedly looking at his knee. It was swollen, but not as much as last night. If Ling Rui suggested Wang Yue skipped work and stayed in bed because of something insignificant like a slightly bruised knee, Wang Yue would be mad. He knew Ling Rui was always worried and meant well —just like his mother— but Wang Yue was old enough to make his own decisions. He wasn't delivering these meals by foot — he was riding his bike. Sure, his knee had given in last night, but only after work and because he had been running in the afternoon. 

"You're looking mad before I've even said anything," Ling Rui mumbled, getting out of bed. "I'll fetch some ointment and another ice pack."

Groaning, Wang Yue buried his face in his hands. They felt rough and dry — probably from freezing so much last night. But that didn't matter now. He had to work on his poker face. And he shouldn't have judged Ling Rui before he had even done anything. Ling Rui hadn't forced him to skip work and stay home. He had only asked if Wang Yue had to work tonight. Instead of getting lost in assumptions, Wang Yue should have replied with a simple yes. He sighed.

As soon as Ling Rui returned and closed the bedroom behind him, Wang Yue sat up. "Sorry," he mumbled. How often had he apologized to Ling Rui lately? He really was pathetic. Had he always been like that?

Ling Rui opened his mouth to reply, but a yawn escaped him before he could speak up. "Sorry." He laughed, embarrassed, and rubbed his eyes. He looked very tired. "And it's okay. Don't worry."

Ling Rui always said that it was okay or fine. But how much longer would it take until it wouldn't be fine anymore? At some point, even Ling Rui's patience had to run out. 

Quietly, Wang Yue watched how Ling Rui applied ointment to his knee. The small bottle looked different than the one he had used last night, and he didn't apply it on the broken skin but on the swollen parts around it. Ling Rui's fingers were so beautiful — long and delicate. His nail beds were so much bigger than Wang Yue's, and his usually perfectly manicured nails were a bit long. Had he not had time to file them lately? Wang Yue could spend forever watching these fingers — getting touched by them. He had to bite back a needy whine as his mind provided him with the image of a better life, a day free of worries and obligations, just he and Ling Rui, waking up together, fucking, showering together, eating breakfast together, fucking again — it would be too good to be true. It would be more than Wang Yue deserved. It was more than destiny had in store for him. 

"It's your decision—" Ling Rui suddenly began to talk, startling Wang Yue out of his inappropriate thoughts. He was speaking slowly as if picking every word with caution, carefully peeking at Wang Yue "—but as a doctor, I recommend propping up your leg and icing your knee as much as possible today."

Wang Yue didn't like how wary Ling Rui looked. It was almost like he expected Wang Yue to lash out at him or throw a tantrum. Wang Yue knew that he wasn't good at taking care of himself, but he always tried to listen to Ling Rui. 

"Can you try to take it easy today?" Ling Rui asked. "For me?" he added, teary-eyed. He was still rubbing the ointment into Wang Yue's skin, but his touch was so soft that it felt like he was caressing him.

It wasn't fair. The last thing Wang Yue wanted was to worry Ling Rui even more than he already had. If his knee got worse, and Ling Rui noticed, Ling Rui would have to spend even more time patching him up. "What does that mean, taking it easy?" Wang Yue asked, knowing full well that he and Ling Rui often saw things differently.

"Don't strain your knee. Only walk if it is absolutely necessary," Ling Rui explained, and Wang Yue immediately grimaced. "At least until you have to go to work," Ling Rui added. It sounded like a compromise.

Wang Yue took a deep breath. Ling Rui was looking at him with a pleading expression, his thumb soothingly rubbing the side of Wang Yue's knee. His eyes were bloodshot, and the circles under them were still dark. Wang Yue almost didn't remember how Ling Rui looked when he was well-rested and not stressed. He couldn't add more to Ling Rui's worry right now. He really couldn't. 

"Alright," Wang Yue agreed, and Ling Rui's eyes immediately lit up. Smiling broad enough for his cheeks to show dimples, Ling Rui leaned in, pressing his lips against Wang Yue's. Surprised, Wang Yue closed his eyes and eagerly pushed his tongue into Ling Rui's mouth. How long had it been since they had last kissed like that? Somehow, it felt like ages ago, even though they had made out only two nights before. Maybe it felt different because his mindset had been different at that time? Wang Yue reached for the nape of Ling Rui's neck and let his hand travel further up to bury his fingers in his hair. Since it hadn't been styled yet, he didn't have to worry about tousling it. It was thick and soft.

Ling Rui groaned as if he were surprised by Wang Yue's enthusiasm. His hand slid up Wang Yue's naked leg, his fingertips grazing the delicate skin of his inner thigh. 

A shudder rushed through Wang Yue's body, and he gasped as he tried to muffle a moan. 

"Yue'er," Ling Rui panted against Wang Yue's lips before angling his head to the side to kiss him deeper. 

The fire of arousal had been lit inside Wang Yue, and he felt his dick twitching in interest as Ling Rui's fingertips traveled even further up. 

A loud sound rudely interrupted the short moment of intimate togetherness.

Startled, they separated and looked at Ling Rui's phone on the nightstand, his alarm ringing.

Groaning, Ling Rui rested his forehead on Wang Yue's shoulder and pulled his hand back. Wang Yue's thigh immediately felt cold.

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered. Sighing, he reached for his phone and turned off the alarm.

"It's okay," Wang Yue replied. "We shouldn't even have—" His eyes widened in surprise when Ling Rui suddenly kissed him again.

"We should have," Ling Rui said, his breath hot against Wang Yue's lips, "because we were both in the mood." He smiled. "So we did." He quickly kissed Wang Yue again, but this time, it was a short and innocent kiss. "I don't mind making out if we're both into it. It feels good even if we don't get to finish." His cheeks were red, but his gaze was determined. 

Licking his lips, Wang Yue hummed. He couldn't deny how good he felt, his whole body tingling in a pleasant way. 

"Try to sleep for another hour or two," Ling Rui whispered, tentatively pressing down on Wang Yue's shoulder. 

Willingly, Wang Yue let himself get pushed down again, lying on his back. He watched how Ling Rui skillfully bandaged his knee again twice, securing the ice pack. Once he was done, he shoved a pillow under Wang Yue's knee and pulled the blanket back up.

"Rest," Ling Rui whispered, kissing Wang Yue's forehead. 

Feeling warm and safe, Wang Yue decided to at least close his eyes for a moment, even if he wouldn't fall asleep again.

***

Apparently, Wang Yue had fallen asleep again because when he opened his eyes, the sun was shining through the window. Shit. How late was it? He sat up straight in bed and blindly reached for his phone, his eyes not yet used to the bright light. Groaning, he eventually managed to read the display and realized in shock that it was already after 9 o'clock. Wang Chao must have woken up at least an hour ago! 

Throwing the blanket back, Wang Yue swung his legs out of the bed, his knee throbbing after the abrupt movement. Oh, right. He had promised Ling Rui to take it easy. Sucking in a sharp breath, Wang Yue remembered the conversation with his landlord this morning — if it even could be called a conversation. It had been very one-sided. He had to think about how to handle that problem, but first things first. He needed to look after his brother.

He became aware of the cool air hitting his naked legs and realized that he had never put on any pants last night. He couldn't leave the room and run into Ling Rui's family like this. Before he could panic, his eyes fell on the nightstand. There was a big bottle filled with something green, some of his clothes that Ling Rui must have picked up from the drying rack, and a note. Surprised, he picked up the note and read it.

I had some leftover fruits and vegetables close to spoiling, so I made smoothies for everyone. This is yours. If you don't want it, put it in the fridge. It might still be good tomorrow. I'll drink it then.
— Rui-ge

Wang Yue didn't know why his heart felt so warm when he noticed Ling Rui had signed the note with his nickname. Perhaps because Ling Rui knew how much meaning names and nicknames bore for him. So Ling Rui signing the note like this was like a sign that he accepted their deep emotional connection. Wang Yue shook his head. He was probably overthinking again.

Rereading the note, Wang Yue frowned. If Ling Rui had already made this from leftovers, Wang Yue shouldn't risk keeping it until tomorrow. Maybe Wang Chao wanted to drink it. He needed some vitamins to fight off the remnants of his cold anyway.

Wang Yue reached for his clothes and put on his underwear first. Next, he grabbed his pants. They were his old gray sweatpants with the loose, wide pant legs, and Wang Yue wondered if Ling Rui had chosen them on purpose so he could easily slip into them even with his thick, bandaged knee. He probably had. Ling Rui was always this thoughtful. Next, Wang Yue took off Ling Rui's shirt and dropped it on the bed. There was no need to wash it yet. He could wear it again tonight. He put on his own shirt and immediately felt better now that he was wearing his own clothes again and didn't have to depend on others. 

Wang Yue pocketed his phone before grabbing the smoothie and his bag of toiletries. For a moment, he pondered keeping Ling Rui's note, but then the idea alone felt stupid. He wasn't some teenager with their first crush. The thought made him snort, and he threw Ling Rui's note into the wastebasket next to the desk before leaving the bedroom, favoring his left leg. His knee didn't hurt as much as it had last night if he walked slowly, but Wang Yue had promised Ling Rui to take it easy. 

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Zhu exclaimed immediately. "Good morning!" 

"Morning," he mumbled, nodding at everyone sitting at the table. Apparently, they had just finished eating. "Thanks for making breakfast for my brother."

"You've gotta eat something, too! What do you want? Your Ayi will make whatever you want! Bread? Oatmeal? Rice? Some fruits? Noodle soup? Or how about—" Ling Zhu's words trailed off as she noticed how Ling Yunzhi paused while clearing the table to narrow her eyes. Ling Yazhi, who had lazily enjoyed her tea —still basking in her victory of that stupid bet— looked at her older sister and her sister-in-law, her braided hair swinging left and right, before she turned towards Wang Yue, an eyebrow raised in question.

It was too much attention. "Maybe later," Wang Yue mumbled vaguely. "I'll go to the bathroom first." After placing his smoothie on the living room table, he looked at his brother, still dressed in Ling Rui's pajamas. "Come on. Time to get dressed and brush your teeth."

Wang Chao pouted but got up.

"Oh." Ling Zhu's face lit up. "By the way, I rearranged our things on the bathroom shelf to make space for your belongings."

Wang Yue felt guilty that she had to adjust because he was here now. He hated intruding on someone's home and privacy like that. "Sorry for the inconvenience," he said. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's fine, it's fine!" She waved her hand. "Don't mention it. We all want you to feel at home here."

Wang Yue didn't know if he would ever feel at home here. When he had been here for a few days during the holidays, he had felt tense, too, but not as much as now. Maybe because back then, he could have returned to his flat at any time, but now it felt like he was stuck here. He had to be here. There was no other place he could go. Maybe Ling Rui's family didn't want to have him here and only didn't throw him out because of pity. Wang Yue hated that emotion.

"Di?" Wang Chao asked, cocking his head, standing in the doorway to the bathroom. It was surprising how easily he had gotten used to the new environment.

Wang Yue nodded, leaving the worried gazes unmentioned as he picked one of Wang Chao's outfits from a drying rack and limped to the bathroom.

***

Since it would have been rude to take his toiletries back to Ling Rui's bedroom after Ling Zhu had gone out of her way to make space, Wang Yue begrudgingly left them on the bathroom shelf together with the pajamas Wang Chao had worn. He still didn't like intruding on someone else's home like that, though.

"Di, let's play!" Wang Chao exclaimed as soon as they left the bathroom. He ran to the living room, almost knocking over one of the drying racks, and picked up one of his toy cars.

Wang Yue was glad his brother had recovered from his cold enough to be this lively and felt bad for neglecting him so much yesterday, but he really wasn't in the right mindset to play with him now. He only had a week to decide whether or not he would stay in his flat despite the unreasonable rent increase. Furthermore, he couldn't take up so much space in the Ling family's flat. He needed to fold all these clothes and take them to the basement. But on the other hand, he also couldn't expect someone else to entertain his brother all day again.

"I've gotta take care of the laundry," Wang Yue said, gritting his teeth as he watched the smile falling from Wang Chao's lips. "You can play on your own, can't you?"

"Ge can help!"

"That's a great idea!" Ling Zhu said, ruffling Wang Chao's hair. "You've gotta help your brother today, Chao'er. His doctor said he needs to rest his knee."

Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue barely managed to keep calm. Why did she know about that? Ling Yazhi, who had watched her sister doing the dishes, curiously peeked at them.

"Zhu'er found the first aid box in the bathroom this morning," Ling Yunzhi explained without looking at him, once again proving that she could read Wang Yue's mind. She drained the dishwater and dried her hands. "She was worried and pressed Ling Rui for answers."

"I'm fine," Wang Yue said as he noticed everyone's —even Wang Chao's— worried gazes. He walked to the first drying rack —paying more attention to appearing to look fine than taking it easy on his knee— and started taking down some clothes. 

"Come on, Chao'er," Ling Zhu said, patting his back. "You can take down the clothes for your brother, right?" 

Wang Yue wasn't sure how well that would work, but they could try. Sighing, he picked up the drying rack and placed it right next to the couch, where he sat down with his brother. "Hand me some clothes," he instructed, "so I can fold them."

Laughing, Wang Chao pulled some pants down and handed them to Wang Yue. Next, he reached for some boxer shorts and put them on his head.

"Di, look! I've got a hat!" 

Wang Yue sighed. This was exactly what he had expected. "That's no hat," he explained patiently. "That's underwear."

"No, it's my hat!" Wang Chao exclaimed, taking a step back as Wang Yue tried to reach for it. "It belongs to Ge!"

"It's a nice hat!" Ling Yazhi called over from the kitchen, chuckling.

Wang Yue bit back a sigh. Did she have to encourage him? But it didn't matter. If Wang Chao was happy with his new hat, Wang Yue wouldn't complain. 

"Could you please get out of the way if you don't intend to help?" Ling Yunzhi asked her little sister, drying and putting away the dishes.

"Don't forget that I won the bet. No household chores for me," Ling Yazhi chanted happily but left the kitchen. Ling Yunzhi rolled her eyes.

Wang Yue folded the pants and placed them on the living room table for now. His eyes fell on a bowl with cereal bars, rice crackers, and other things. It hadn't been there yesterday. There was a note sticking to it, saying, free snacks. Wang Yue recognized Ling Rui's handwriting. The note was ridiculous and unnecessary but also cute. 

Ignoring it for now, Wang Yue picked a pair of jeans from the drying rack to fold. 

"What's with the smoothie that Wang Chao didn't want?" Ling Yazhi nodded as she passed by the dining table.

"You didn't like it?" Wang Yue asked his brother, his eyes drifting back to the bottle. It was almost completely full. 

"He spat it back out." Ling Zhu sighed. "Another boy refusing his—"

"Zhu'er!" Ling Yunzhi hissed.

Offended, Ling Zhu looked at her sister-in-law, putting her hands on her hips. 

"I'm sorry he did that," Wang Yue apologized before these two could start fighting. Quickly, he stood up to retrieve the bottle, and Ling Yazhi hurried to meet him after a few steps, nervously peeking at his knee. Great. Now everyone treated him like an invalid. Trying not to take it to heart, he walked to his brother. "Do you want to try another sip?"

"No!" Shaking his head, Wang Chao ran to Ling Zhu, hiding behind her. "It's not tasty."

"Sorry." Wang Yue grimaced. "Usually, he's not picky."

Sighing, Ling Zhu turned around and pulled the underwear from Wang Chao's head to affectionately ruffle his hair. "Alright, alright, it's okay." She folded the underwear and placed it on the coffee table before looking at Wang Yue. "At least he took his cold medicine and ate his breakfast."

Was that a jab at Wang Yue because he hadn't eaten breakfast? Not in the mood to discuss this any further, Wang Yue dropped the topic. He sat back down on the couch, placing Wang Chao's smoothie bottle next to his own. 

"Zhu'er, we've gotta leave," Ling Yunzhi said. She was done with the dishes and went to put on her shoes. 

Ling Zhu turned her wrist to check her watch. "Oh! I didn't realize how late it was." She turned her attention back to Wang Yue. "We'll meet the neighborhood ladies and go grocery shopping later," she explained. "Is there anything you need?"

A dry, affordable flat, Wang Yue almost blurted out. "No, thanks." He really needed to talk to Ling Rui about how to handle his and Wang Chao's living expenses as long as they stayed here. Why hadn't he done that this morning instead of getting lost in kissing Ling Rui? Wang Yue sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. He had to make sure to talk to Ling Rui this evening before going to work.

Ling Zhu didn't look happy with that reply but turned her attention to Ling Yazhi next.

"I want chips," Ling Yazhi said.

"I didn't ask you," Ling Zhu replied but couldn't refrain from smiling when Ling Yazhi pouted. "Will you be home for dinner?" 

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I'm only working four hours around noon today."

"Good, good." Ling Zhu nodded happily. "I'll tell Ling Rui to cook some nice dinner for all of us." Her side glance at Wang Yue was unnecessary, in his opinion, but he simply ignored it.

Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu put on their coats and left the flat. Ling Yazhi grabbed her phone and sat down on one of the armchairs sideways, her feet resting on the other one.

"Do you want the couch?" Wang Yue offered immediately.

"Nah, don't bother." She smiled. "I'm comfortable here." She tapped something on her phone, and cheerful music started playing. "Do you mind if I play some games? I can fetch my headphones if the sound bothers you."

"Oh, no, no. I don't mind." Wang Yue didn't want to impose any restrictions on her. "I hope my brother doesn't bother you," he said when Wang Chao played with his toy cars on the floor, laughing loudly.

Ling Yazhi made a gesture of denial. "He's an angel compared to Jiejie."

Perplexed, Wang Yue stared at her.

Ling Yazhi pressed a hand against her mouth as if she was surprised by her own words. For a moment, they stared at each other, unmoving. But eventually, she dropped her hand and sighed loudly. "Between you and me, Jiejie has been really exhausting lately." She rolled her eyes. "She's fussing too much about everything and everyone instead of minding her own business."

"Oh." Wang Yue didn't want to badmouth Ling Zhu, but he understood where Ling Yazhi was coming from. 

"I don't know what her problem is," Ling Yazhi mumbled, her eyes glued to her phone as she played her game. "Usually, she's not like that."

Wang Yue hummed. He didn't know Ling Zhu that well, but when he had stayed over during New Year, she hadn't been such a force of nature. Pondering, he continued to fold the laundry. "When did it start?" he asked, trying to be polite and keep the conversation going. Meanwhile, he always kept an eye on his brother, who was still happily playing with his toy cars. 

"Difficult to say," Ling Yazhi mumbled, frowning as she tapped her phone faster. She was lost in her game for a moment before she relaxed again and continued to speak. "Two or three weeks? It didn't happen from one day to the next."

"Maybe something happened that caused her to change." Wang Yue reached for a shirt, biting back a curse as he failed to fold it properly. Why did shirts always wrinkle? He didn't care enough to fold it again, though. He literally had to fold all his clothes. There was no time to redo anything. 

"I guess. No idea what, though." Ling Yazhi shrugged her shoulders. "I just hope that she goes back to normal soon."

"Yeah," Wang Yue confirmed. He would also prefer it if she were less intruding again.

The conversation quieted down, and they both busied themselves with their tasks. It was a peaceful atmosphere, but it gave Wang Yue too much time to think. The conversation with his landlord came back to his mind. If things continued as they were, he would be unable to pay his rent in one or two months. The realization was painful, but that didn't make it any less true. So far, Wang Yue could only think of two possible solutions, maybe three. Option one, he found another flat that was as cheap as his current one. It sounded simple, but as far as he knew, the rental prices had been rising for years. The second option was to find an additional job or, option three, another job that paid way more than his current one. Since he could only work at night when Wang Chao was asleep and didn't have any experience in any other job than doing deliveries, Wang Yue didn't know who would ever hire him. But he at least had to try to find a new flat or job.

"Di, look!" Wang Chao exclaimed. Laughing, he raised his arm, holding a black shirt he had snatched from the drying rack, sticking his finger through a big hole. 

Wang Yue groaned. He really couldn't afford new clothes any time soon.

"Oh." Ling Yazhi put down her phone and jumped up. "Don't worry. We've got some needles and thread." She walked to the living room cabinet behind the couch and opened it. "I just have to find them," she mumbled.

"Don't bother," Wang Yue declined politely. 

"No need to be humble. Da-jie has more thread than she could ever use in her whole life."

Wang Yue wanted to protest again but paused when Ling Yazhi placed three old shoe boxes on the couch. She took off the lids, and Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise when he looked at the big collection of threads of different colors. After a moment, he blinked and picked up four spools of different sizes, the threads all looking black. When he rubbed his fingers over them, they also felt the same.

"Don't ask." Ling Yazhi sighed. "Da-jie says they all have different colors, but either I'm colorblind, or they are exactly the same."

"I'm colorblind, too, if it helps," Wang Yue mumbled, and Ling Yazhi chuckled.

"Do you know how to sew and mend clothes?" Ling Yazhi asked, and Wang Yue grimaced.

"I can do some mending, yeah." It never looked perfect, but it served its purpose.

"I'm not as good as Da-jie or Ling Rui, but I can help you," she offered. Smiling, she walked to Wang Chao. "Can I have that shirt? I'll fix it for you."

Wang Chao seemed to ponder for a moment before he nodded and handed it over.

"Thanks!" She sat down at the other end of the couch, the shoe boxes between her and Wang Yue.

"Di, look!" Wang Chao exclaimed, holding up a blue shirt with two holes in it.

Wang Yue sighed, but Ling Yazhi only laughed. "Your brother is good at finding ripped clothes!"

"Yay," Wang Yue mumbled, rolling his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched as Ling Yazhi laughed again. He reached into the box and took out two spools with blue threads. Frowning, he looked at them, trying to compare them to his shirt.

"Unspool a bit of the thread and place it on the shirt," Ling Yazhi suggested while picking up the scissors from one of the boxes. She cut off a long length of black thread. "That makes it easier to judge if you got the right color."

Wang Yue did as instructed and was surprised by how different the two blue threads suddenly looked when they lay on the shirt. Usually, he only bought black and white thread to save money, so he didn't know how to handle such a huge collection of colors. Pondering, he reached for a third blue thread. It was too dark.

"Try that one," Ling Yazhi said, holding out another one. Wang Yue accepted it and placed it on his shirt. Suddenly, it almost looked light blue. "Or not." She laughed awkwardly. "Sorry."

Wang Yue relaxed. It was nice to know that she wasn't perfect at this either. "It's fine. They are all blue."

"Colorblind," she said with a playfully large amount of conviction.

"Colorblind," Wang Yue confirmed with a nod, meeting her eyes. 

Laughing, she threaded her needle and created a knot at the bottom of the thread. "I hope I'll be helpful and won't make it worse."

"Don't worry," Wang Yue said sincerely. His shirts were old and damaged anyway. It couldn't get worse. He picked up the next blue thread and nodded contentedly when the colors finally matched. Since when did he even put so much attention to detail? 

When Wang Chao walked to the kitchen, Wang Yue warily followed him with his eyes, hoping he wasn't up to something. But Wang Chao only fetched his plastic water bottle. On his way back, he paused at the little aquarium on the sideboard, watching the fish while sipping on his water. Licking his lips, Wang Yue realized that he was thirsty, too. His eyes darted to the two smoothie bottles on the table. If Wang Chao refused to drink his smoothie, it wouldn't hurt if Wang Yue took a sip from it. He couldn't offer it to anyone else anymore after Wang Chao had already drunk from the bottle, and throwing it away would be a waste. 

Wang Yue reached for the bottle and opened it. The green color didn't look very appetizing, but it smelled good. Warily, he took a small sip. It was a bit sour but otherwise pretty delicious. It tasted healthy somehow. Feeling greedy, Wang Yue gulped down half of the bottle in one go. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand once he was done and suddenly remembered that he wasn't alone. 

Warily, his eyes snapped to Ling Yazhi, but her attention was on her needle, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She held the shirt close to her face as if she wouldn't see enough otherwise, slowly pushing the needle through the fabric. 

"Ouch!" she exclaimed, sticking her finger into her mouth.

"Did you get hurt?" Wang Yue asked, about to get up to fetch a bandaid if necessary. 

"It's fine," Ling Yazhi mumbled. Pulling her finger out of her mouth, she inspected it closely. "Just a little pinprick."

As she continued to sew, Wang Yue got to work as well. They mended the shirts in comfortable silence. Wang Chao drove his toy cars over the floor and, at some point, over their feet, but except for pressing against one of Wang Yue's blisters once, he didn't bother them in any way. 

When Wang Yue was done, he placed down the needle and inspected his shirt. It looked nice, but as he brushed his fingers over the stitches, some of them ripped open again. He sighed. He must have sewed too close to the hole.

"I'm not sure I did that right," Ling Yazhi mumbled, holding up the shirt. A widespread seam covered the rip, but there was a thin but long fold running through the fabric, starting at the seam. 

They looked at each other and sighed in defeat.

"Da-jie really is better at this than I am," Ling Yazhi said. "Sorry for ruining your shirt."

"It's not ruined. It's just a fabric fold." Wang Yue shrugged his shoulders. He had worn way worse. "Looks better than a big hole."

"I guess you're right." Smiling, Ling Yazhi folded the shirt and handed it to Wang Yue, who placed it on his pile of shirts on the table. Seeing all of his clothes piled up here made Wang Yue realize that he had too many thin shirts and not enough warm pullovers. But at least it was the beginning of spring, so he could wait half a year before tackling that problem. For now, he had enough other problems at hand. 

"Oh," Ling Yazhi said after checking the time. "I've gotta go to the dance studio," she announced, and now that Wang Yue heard it, he remembered that Ling Rui had once told him that she worked there. 

"Work?" he asked anyway, trying to be polite.

"Yup." Grinning, she got up from the couch and placed the shoe boxes with the threads on the coffee table. After fetching some clothes and a bag from her room, she vanished into the bathroom. 

For a moment, Wang Yue looked at the door. He had felt pressured ever since arriving at the Ling family's home, but being with Ling Yazhi just now had been comfortable. He was glad they got along well enough to bear each other's presence. Hopefully, it would stay that way. 

Wang Yue continued to take the remaining clothes down from the drying rack and struggled to match all of his socks. Eventually, he decided it didn't matter whether the socks were dark gray or light black and simply put whichever two he grabbed together. It wasn't like anyone paid attention to their socks anyway. When he reached for a blue sock, however, he immediately searched for the other one. He found it and put them together. Was that supposed to tell him that not everything was going wrong this week? At least his missing blue sock had shown up again yesterday and was reunited with its counterpart now. Wang Yue snorted. What was he thinking? 

His thoughts were interrupted when Ling Yazhi returned from the bathroom and hurried to put on her shoes and coat. "See you later," she said cheerfully. 

"Yeah, bye," Wang Yue replied. While he pondered what else to say to sound less grumpy, Ling Yazhi had already opened the door and left.

Even though she had been pleasant company, Wang Yue was glad to have some time to himself without Ling Rui's family now.

Notes:

It was nice to write more about Ling Yazhi!

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Chapter 10: Rock bottom (Wednesday, March 31th)

Summary:

Wang Yue and his brother are alone at the Ling family flat. Wang Yue wants to use the chance to clean up his stuff but overestimates his body.

Notes:

Gotta make it worse before I can make it better.

Additional content warning for this chapter: vomiting.
And we all remember that tag about eating disorders, right? Good. Please be safe.

5k words

After Ling Yazhi was gone, Wang Yue waited until Wang Chao was distracted by playing. Now that he didn't have anyone's attention and worried gaze on him, Wang Yue rolled up his right pant leg. He quickly undid the outer bandage and removed the melted ice pack. After rolling up the bandage, he carefully got up. He walked slowly, trying not to strain his knee, but it barely even hurt anymore. Maybe Ling Rui had been too worried — like so often. 

In the kitchen, Wang Yue opened the freezer and blinked in surprise when he noticed that it was filled to the brim. He wasn't used to seeing so much food outside the supermarket or restaurant. It must be nice to live without worrying about money and food. And hadn't Ling Zhu said that she would buy even more? That was crazy.

Shaking his head before drifting off into negative thoughts, he quickly stored the ice pack and closed the freezer.

Frowning, Wang Yue looked at the rolled-up bandage he carried. Should he just put it back into the first aid box? Or did Ling Rui prefer it if it got washed first? Or should Wang Yue just put it on the nightstand since Ling Rui would want to put another ice pack on Wang Yue's knee tonight? Raking his teeth over his bottom lip, he chose the last option. Since his knee barely hurt anymore, he walked normally again.

After returning to the living room, he took care of the sheets and towels hanging on the other drying rack. Once he was done, he stored the Ling family's drying racks in the bathroom —fortunately, he knew where they belonged— before grabbing the roll of garbage bags the Ling family had given him yesterday. He made a mental note to buy them a new roll after using so many of their bags. He quickly selected two outfits for himself and three for his brother before storing the other clothes in the bags.

"I'll be back in a moment," he said, and Wang Chao nodded, laughing before he got lost in playing again. 

Wang Yue hesitated for a moment as he stood in front of the key bowl, pondering whether or not it was okay to simply take the key to the basement. But Ling Rui had entrusted it to him once, and Wang Yue was sure everyone would be happy if his stuff didn't litter the living room any longer than necessary. 

As he went downstairs and back up again several times to carry his drying rack and all the little bags of clothes, Wang Yue started to feel his knee again. At first, it was just a dull pressure after every step. Then, it was a constant throbbing. And in the end, it simply hurt. He had just carried down the last bags when it hurt so much that he had to take a break before going back upstairs. Fuck. Ling Rui would be so mad. Wang Yue had promised him to rest, but he really had thought he had recovered. It had still been fine half an hour ago! Maybe it would be fine again if Wang Yue rested more? He should probably do that. Now that he had cleared up the flat, there was no reason to move around anyway.

Gritting his teeth, he took the stairs back up, clinging to the handrail so he wouldn't risk falling and worrying Ling Rui even more.

When he returned to the flat and stored the key where it belonged, he needed a moment to catch his breath. Why was he so exhausted? Using the back of his hand, he wiped some sweat from his forehead. He was thirsty. 

Wang Yue limped back to the living room and flopped down on the couch, wincing from pain.

"Di?" Wang Chao asked, worried.

"I'm fine." Wang Yue forced out the words. Groaning, he used his hands to lift his right leg up on the couch, stuffing a cushion under his knee like Ling Rui had done this morning. Wang Yue tried to catch his breath. He felt dizzy. 

Wang Chao still stared at him, and Wang Yue forced himself to put on a poker face. 

"I'm good," he whispered, reaching for the half-empty smoothie bottle. When Wang Chao saw the green drink, he grimaced before turning around to grab his favorite picture book. Wang Yue tried to relax his tense muscles and take some deep breaths, but the throbbing in his knee and the dizziness wouldn't stop. He rested the bottle in his lap and grabbed the backrest of the couch in an attempt to stop swaying. He couldn't black out now. He couldn't leave Wang Chao unsupervised. A shiver rushed through Wang Yue's body, making him shudder, and a sharp jolt of pain sparked from his knee. He bit back a whine and pressed his eyes shut. Why did he suddenly feel so cold? He was still sweating. It made no sense.

"Di?" Wang Chao's voice sounded dull and far away. Wang Yue's ears were ringing. He was about to pass out.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"I'm good," Wang Yue mumbled, unsure whether or not he had said it out loud. Why was he so out of it? He grabbed the backrest tighter and realized that he still clutched the bottle with his other hand. Maybe his body wanted him to drink something. He had felt thirsty. Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue reached for the lid of the bottle with a trembling hand. After a few attempts, he managed to open it and greedily gulped down the remaining contents of the bottle. 

Only then did he open his eyes. The world was still swaying, but not as much as before. He rested the empty bottle on the couch.

"Di? Are you thirsty?" 

Blinking, Wang Yue tried to focus his eyes. Wang Chao was sitting on the floor next to him, holding the other smoothie bottle out for him.

"Drink!"

Wang Yue already felt full, but he couldn't worry his brother. He intended to ruffle Wang Chao's hair, but his hand landed on his shoulder instead. He patted it. 

Laughing, Wang Chao pushed the bottle towards him, and Wang Yue could only accept it.

"Thanks," he whispered. Opening the bottle, he took another sip. 

Wang Chao happily laughed and clapped his hands. "You've gotta drink more!" 

Even though Wang Yue knew his brother only meant well, he felt pushed again. It reminded him too much of Ling Zhu trying to force him to eat yesterday. It also reminded him of Wang Chao walking in on him and Meilin making out once, offering his water because he saw them sweating — similar to last week when he had walked in on him and Ling Rui, worried because of their noises. Wang Yue groaned. 

"Di, drink!" Wang Chao said, nudging Wang Yue's thigh to gain his attention.

Not in the mood for a fight, Wang Yue took a deep breath before gulping down the whole smoothie. A burp escaped his throat when he was done, causing Wang Chao to laugh loudly.

"Good, good!" Wang Chao exclaimed.

"Why don't you read your book, hm?" Wang Yue asked, swallowing down another burp. He didn't feel well.

Fortunately, Wang Chao excitedly crawled back to the spot where he had left his toy cars and picture book. "It's about fish, Di!"

"That's great," Wang Yue replied. 

Something was not right. He felt sick. His stomach rumbled. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so much at once. Closing the empty bottle, he placed both bottles back on the table. Wang Yue pressed a hand against his mouth and tried to focus on breathing. He was still dizzy. Why was he still dizzy? Why was his body working against him? Why was he so weak? Wang Yue hated that. Wang Yue hated himself. He was pathetic. What was he freaking out for now? Why was he so exhausted from carrying some bags to the basement? Couldn't he ever do something without causing trouble or breaking down? 

"Di, I'm hungry," Wang Chao whined.

Wang Yue ripped his eyes open, panic surging through his veins like burning lava. 

Lunch.

Lunch for Wang Chao.

Why hadn't Wang Yue remembered that? Why hadn't he gone grocery shopping yesterday already? How could he simply expect that the Ling family would take over the task of feeding his brother? It wasn't their responsibility to care for Wang Chao. It was his responsibility. Furthermore, they still hadn't even discussed how much he had to pay for all these meals.

Filled with regret, he swung his legs from the couch and tried to get up, but his knee gave in with a stinging pain, and he flopped back down. The world was spinning, and his breathing was heavy. He was still sweaty and nauseous. Why? There was no time to break down now.

"Di?"

"Yeah, I—" Wang Yue swallowed when he felt as if something crept up his throat. He needed to get up and buy lunch for his brother. But how was he supposed to do that when he couldn't even stand up? "Keep playing," he mumbled. "I'll make lunch." It wasn't his intention to lie to his brother, but it felt like an empty promise he couldn't keep.

His eyes fell on the bowl with the free snacks. Wang Chao could eat some of them, but it wouldn't suffice. It wasn't a proper meal. Wang Chao deserved a decent lunch. Wang Yue didn't know when Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu would return. Had they said anything about eating lunch at home or not? Wang Yue buried his face in his hands and tried to think. He only remembered that Ling Yazhi wouldn't be home for lunch but for dinner. Either way, Wang Yue shouldn't count on anyone to come back to feed his brother. He needed to do something. But what was he supposed to do if his knee refused to cooperate and his mind wouldn't stop spinning? Wang Yue didn't want to admit it, but he couldn't walk to the grocery store like this. 

Maybe he just needed to grit his teeth and push through. But Ling Rui would be so mad as soon as he heard about this, and Wang Yue was bad at hiding injuries from Ling Rui — especially when Ling Rui already knew that Wang Yue's knee was hurt. There was no way to avoid showing it to him again tonight. 

Wang Yue didn't know what to do. It felt like he had to choose between listening to Ling Rui and taking care of Wang Chao — like choosing between Ling Rui and Wang Chao. Wang Yue didn't like that. He didn't want to choose. They were both important to him. He knew that, no matter what, Wang Chao should always come first, but the thought made his heart clench. Why were feelings so complicated? Wang Yue hated this. Sometimes, he wished he could just stop loving Ling Rui. But he couldn't. It was impossible. He had tried often enough to know that it wouldn't work out. His heart wasn't listening to him. If he risked going out to buy food and something happened to him, Ling Rui would be so disappointed and hurt. Just remembering his pleading expression from this morning made Wang Yue's stomach clench. He couldn't worry him even further. He couldn't. But he also couldn't let Wang Chao starve.

Wang Yue's eyes drifted to the adjacent kitchen. Even though Ling Zhu had said she'd go grocery shopping, Wang Yue knew the Ling family always stored enough food. The freezer was still full. And there had to be some things left in the fridge and cabinets. But Wang Yue couldn't just go to the kitchen and take something. He wasn't a thief. Even if he intended to pay Ling Rui back, he couldn't ever take anything without asking first. 

Pondering, he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. What if he asked Ling Rui? He shouldn't bother him during work when he was busy. But Ling Rui had told him to reach out whenever needed. And he would probably prefer a short interruption during his working hours rather than taking care of Wang Yue after he collapsed on his way to the grocery store, fucking up his knee for real.

Wang Yue flinched when his phone suddenly buzzed. Startled, he took it out of his pocket and unlocked it to read the message.

PB [12:37 pm]: 
Your boyfriend wanted to skip the rest of his lunch break after gulping down his food, but I told him to at least close his eyes for a minute because he's too stressed. And now look who's drooling in his sleep. Isn't he cute? 

The photo Peng Bo had attached showed Ling Rui wearing his green hospital scrubs and a white coat. He sat in his office chair, head cushioned on his arm on the desk, his other hand resting in his lap. His eyes were closed, the dark circles under them even more prominent than before. His lips were slightly parted, drool running down from the corner of his mouth. He looked adorable, but Wang Yue couldn't help but feel guilty. Ling Rui was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the spot, and it was Wang Yue's fault. Wang Yue shouldn't have kept him up tonight after returning from work. Wang Yue shouldn't have woken him up this morning when receiving a call. Wang Yue shouldn't have caused him more stress by intruding on his home this week. 

And Wang Yue really shouldn't call him now to rob him of his sleep for the third time today.

It was one thing if Wang Yue's life was going to hell, but he couldn't drag Ling Rui down with him. 

A strong wave of nausea finally hit Wang Yue, and he ran to the bathroom, pressing a hand against his mouth. His knee gave out several times, and he bumped against the sideboard once but barely even noticed the pain. Vaguely, he heard Wang Chao calling for him, but Wang Yue only slammed the door shut, dropped down in front of the toilet bowl, and vomited. 

It burned in his throat, and the feeling, stench, and taste only caused him to vomit again. He was swaying, so he clung to the toilet bowl with both hands, hoping he wouldn't accidentally miss. He really couldn't puke on the Ling family's bathroom floor after they had been so kind to take him in. He tried to control his body and suppress the urge to gag, but it was futile. It wouldn't stop. His stomach and throat hurt, he felt nauseous, and he was so dizzy that he couldn't tell left from right anymore, black splotches obstructing his vision when he opened his eyes. He closed them again.

He didn't know how much time had passed, but at some point, he was only retching, nothing left in his stomach. Holding onto the toilet bowl, he tried to stop gagging, focusing on his breathing. He was dizzy again. Or was he still dizzy? He couldn't even remember if it had ever stopped. How long had he been sitting here? He groaned.  

"We're back!" Ling Zhu's voice suddenly echoed through the flat. "And we brought lunch!"

"Ayi!" Wang Chao exclaimed, sounding agitated. "Di, di!"

"Where's your brother?"

"Toilet!" Wang Yue shouted, hoping that would stop anyone from coming in. He had remembered to close the door, hadn't he?

"Take your time!" Ling Zhu shouted back.

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue took a deep breath. It had been a while since he had been so happy about Ling Zhu's presence. She was home and had brought food. It irked Wang Yue that he couldn't take care of his brother himself, but at least someone was here to take care of him in his stead. Wang Chao would be alright. That was the most important thing. Everything else was secondary.

Wang Yue took another deep breath. He should get up. If he stayed here too long, Ling Zhu would get worried and start fussing again. Biting back a groan, he stood up, favoring his left leg, and flushed the toilet. Still dizzy, he turned around and grabbed the sink, trying to find purchase. As he looked at his reflection in the mirror, Wang Yue was shocked. His hair was disheveled, his skin pale, and his cheeks sunken in. Trembling, he reached out for his reflection as if trying to judge whether or not it was real. His fingers bumped against the mirror, staining it. He was such an idiot. Frantically, he searched for a towel and used it to rub over the mirror, hoping to destroy the evidence of his stupidity. It worked. The stains were gone — but his pathetic reflection remained. 

He wiped over the mirror again, clinging to the unrealistic hope that it would change anything, but it didn't. He almost didn't recognize himself anymore. When had his appearance changed so much? His hair had grown longer, but that wasn't everything. Had he lost weight? He touched his face, feeling his prominent jawline and cheekbone under his fingertips. He remembered how easily his pants had slipped down last night and pressed a hand against his stomach, surprised how much it gave in. He grabbed his waist with both hands, his fingertips almost touching at the front as he pressed hard enough. Gasping, he let go. 

No.

He was just overthinking again. He had always been slim. He had always skipped meals. He had always been dizzy when getting a panic attack. He wasn't dizzy because he didn't eat enough, no. He had never been. He was dizzy because he panicked all the time. Nothing had changed. Nothing had gotten worse. If anything, his ability to cope with stress had decreased. But that was something he could work on. He just needed to get a grip and stop freaking out because of every triviality. Maybe he was also out of shape because he wasn't working out regularly anymore. 

Turning on the faucet, Wang Yue leaned down to splash his face with cold water. It calmed him down. After rinsing his mouth, he drank some water. He used the towel to dry his face and checked his reflection again. He still looked horrible. Maybe something was wrong with the mirror? Or the lighting in this room made him look different than the light in his bathroom at home. Home. Wang Yue huffed. What was he standing around here for? He needed to look for flats. But if he returned to the living room looking like this, Ling Zhu would start fussing over him again, and he really wouldn't be able to deal with that right now. He also wasn't in the mood for Ling Yunzhi's knowing gaze.

Sighing, he raked a hand through his hair. It was tousled. Clicking his tongue, he tried to fix it, but it was futile. It looked tousled no matter what he did. Maybe it was time to cut it again. But not now. Wang Yue took a deep breath. Afterwards, he leaned down and drank some more water. It seemed to help settle his dizziness, but he still felt exhausted. How long had he been in the bathroom? Probably too long already. He needed to move if he wanted to get out of this situation without drawing too much attention.

After another deep breath, he limped to the door. He put his hand on the handle and paused, steeling himself for a short moment. He only needed to pass through the room, say a few words, and retreat. He didn't feel well about leaving Wang Chao in someone else's care again, but there was no choice. Wang Yue needed a moment to himself to recover.

Ignoring his throbbing knee, Wang Yue finally stepped out of the room.

"Can you look after him?" Wang Yue asked, trying not to look at all the food and the fourth pair of chopsticks on the table that was meant for him. The other three were already eating, but the smell of food was enough to make Wang Yue feel sick again. 

Instead of replying, Ling Zhu and Ling Yunzhi only stared at him in shock, unmoving.

Did he really look that bad? They were exaggerating. He avoided his brother's eyes. "I wanna lie down for a moment." Wang Yue pointed towards Ling Rui's bedroom. "To rest my knee like the doctor instructed," he tried to go for a joking tone, unsure whether or not he nailed it.

"Yes," Ling Yunzhi whispered, reawakening from her trance. She cleared her throat to speak louder. "Take a rest, and don't worry about your brother. I'll look after him."

"Thanks," Wang Yue replied, immediately turning around and leaving. He knew he could count on Ling Yunzhi.

"Did you see how—" 

Wang Yue threw the door shut to drown out Ling Zhu's alarmed voice. Pressing his hands against his ears, he tumbled towards the bed and threw himself on it, pulling the blanket over his head before covering his ears again. He didn't want to hear them talking about him. He didn't want them to worry about him. 

Wang Yue didn't have any time to waste lying around, but he needed to wait until they had stopped gossiping. Afterwards, he would sit up and use his phone to look for flats and jobs. He felt like he was falling, but he knew this couldn't be. He was lying down. Was the bed moving? He groaned. This dizziness was getting annoying. Maybe his body needed a break.

He could rest for a few minutes until his dizziness subsided and Ling Zhu stopped fussing loud enough to be heard through the thin walls. 

He could rest for a short moment — just for a short moment.

 

---

 

When Wang Yue realized that he had unintentionally drifted off to sleep, it was already too late. 

Gasping, he sat up and reached for his phone. It was shortly after 5 o'clock. Wasn't that the time Ling Rui usually returned from work? Shit. Wang Yue had wasted a whole afternoon. Throwing back the blanket, he got out of bed. His knee still hurt, but not as much as it had after carrying all the stuff to the basement earlier, and the annoying dizziness had finally subsided. Quickly, he went to the living room.

The Ling ladies and Wang Chao sat on the couch, all of them wearing sheet face masks and watching some television drama while snacking on popcorn from a big bowl resting in Ling Yazhi's lap. For a moment, Wang Yue paused to take in the picture. Was he still asleep and this was some weird dream? But Wang Chao looked happy, stuffing popcorn into his mouth and laughing while pointing at the television with his free hand. He looked like he belonged here. He hadn't even noticed Wang Yue yet. 

"Join us, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, patting the armrest. "We can squish closer together to make room for you." 

It already was a tight fit with four people on that small couch. There was no way Wang Yue would be able to join them. 

Before he got a chance to reply, the landline rang. Sighing, Ling Zhu pulled off her facemask and placed it on the table to go and pick up the phone. Wang Chao and Ling Yazhi didn't let it bother them, totally captivated by the television show. 

"Oh. That's the hospital's number," Ling Zhu mumbled after checking the display, and Wang Yue almost panicked until he remembered that it was Ling Rui's workplace. "Yes? This is Ling Zhu speaking," she said calmly after taking the call. 

Wang Yue didn't intend to listen in, but he was too curious. He noticed Ling Yunzhi peeking at her sister-in-law. Her eyes quickly returned to the television, but it felt like she wasn't paying attention to the show anymore.

"Oh, Nurse Jiang," Ling Zhu said. "Yes, yes, of course I remember you." 

Was that the nurse who had flirted with Ling Rui, even though she was married to that kind doctor who had looked after Wang Chao two days ago? Wang Yue clicked his tongue. He shouldn't think like that. But even Ling Zhu had assumed her son was dating that nurse now, and Nurse Jiang spent more time with Ling Rui than he did. Raking his teeth over his bottom lip, Wang Yue tried not to overthink. He felt someone's eyes on him and noticed Ling Yunzhi looking at him. He couldn't interpret her expression.

Ling Zhu laughed heartily, and Wang Yue's eyes drifted back to her. "You're such a kind girl."

Wang Yue frowned. What had Nurse Jiang said to make Ling Zhu this happy? She never was this happy with Wang Yue, only criticizing his eating habits.

"Oh, I see," Ling Zhu said more calmly. She hummed a few times, signaling that she listened. "That's unfortunate, but I understand. Is Doctor Peng with him?" 

Anxiety crept up Wang Yue's throat. Had something happened to Ling Rui after all, or was this still about work? Nervously, Wang Yue checked his phone again. Ling Rui really should be home around this hour.

"Yes, that's good." Surprised, Ling Zhu blinked, her eyes darting towards Wang Yue. "Xiao Yue?" 

Wang Yue held his breath as he suddenly felt her attention on him, clutching his phone.

"Yes, he's here. Why are you—" Ling Zhu paused, listening before her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, yes, yes. Of course. Tell him not to worry, please." Ling Zhu sighed. "My son always worries too much. I'm glad he at least has you by his side." She chuckled, and Wang Yue felt sick. Why couldn't he be by Ling Rui's side? He knew it was stupid to be jealous of Ling Rui's colleagues, but it felt like Ling Zhu liked Nurse Jiang more than him. "Yes, yes," Ling Zhu said. "I'll do it immediately. Thank you for calling. Bye-bye." 

A moment later, Ling Zhu ended the call and walked towards the sideboard next to the entrance door.

"Is he neglecting his family and his boyfriend again?" Ling Yunzhi asked, displeased, her eyes never leaving the television.

"There was a bus accident, so they have a lot of emergency patients," Ling Zhu explained as she returned to the living room. "Ling Rui and Doctor Peng have to help out."

Ling Yunzhi sighed. She didn't look happy but knew that this was an unavoidable emergency. Wang Yue wasn't happy either. He would have liked to talk to Ling Rui about all the money he owed him for letting Wang Chao and him stay here. 

"Please bear with him for a while longer," Ling Yunzhi almost begged Wang Yue, causing him to blink in surprise. 

"Oh." Awkwardly, Wang Yue cleared his throat. He was glad Ling Rui put up with him and not the other way around. "It's fine."

"You're too kind," Ling Yunzhi replied. "I already would have kicked a man out if he neglected me that much."

"That's why you've been single for the last 15 years," Ling Yazhi murmured, and Ling Yunzhi glared at her.

"Here, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, catching Wang Yue's attention. "That's our spare key. It works for the main door downstairs and for our flat. Take it with you when you go to work."

"Oh." Reflexively, Wang Yue pocketed his phone and held up his hand. He stared at the key that was placed in his palm. "Are you sure I can have it?" 

"Of course," Ling Zhu replied, putting her hands on her hips. "Ling Rui is too busy to call but told Nurse Jiang to contact me. She asked me to give you the key since he wouldn't make it back home on time to do it himself."

"Oh," Wang Yue repeated. Feeling his heart warming up, Wang Yue enfolded the key in his hand, pressing it against his chest. Ling Rui had thought about him, even though he was stressed at work. Ling Yunzhi smiled at him.

Suddenly, Ling Zhu frowned. "Did you take the key with you last night?"

"No!" Wang Yue blurted out before realizing that a vague answer would have been wiser. "I wouldn't take your key without asking!" Although he had taken the key to the basement earlier today.

Ling Zhu's frown deepened, her forehead full of wrinkles. "How did you get back inside last night without a key?"

"I, uh—" Awkwardly, Wang Yue cleared his throat. He really didn't want to tell Ling Zhu that he had sat outside for who-knew-how-long. She would only start fussing and trying to coddle him again. Wang Yue's eyes darted to the side as he noticed Ling Yunzhi observing him with a sharp gaze. After a moment, her lips parted in surprise as if realizing something. She sighed. For some reason, she looked utterly disappointed. Wang Yue didn't like that expression on her. She had smiled so kindly just seconds ago.

"What do you even need to ask for, Zhu'er?" Ling Yunzhi said eventually. "Obviously, he called Ling Rui to open the door for him." It wasn't the truth, and Ling Yunzhi knew it. 

Somehow, Wang Yue suddenly felt even more guilty than he would have after calling Ling Rui for real.

"Oh, of course. I see." Ling Zhu laughed. "Well, it's easier if you have a key. So, take it." She nodded.

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled. 

"Who's gonna cook dinner now that Ling Rui won't be home on time?" Ling Zhu asked, her hands on her hips. 

"I won our bet. No chores for me," Ling Yazhi reminded her while Ling Yunzhi simply ignored the conversation, her attention focused on the television.

Ling Zhu sighed, defeated.

Not in the mood for a family dinner, Wang Yue decided to go to work early again. "I've gotta get ready for work and leave," he said. "Thank you for taking care of my brother."

After changing his clothes, he left, avoiding any further questions.

 

Notes:

I know this hurt/comfort fic has been heavy on the hurt part until now, but the comfort will come very soon. Trust me.

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Chapter 11: Turning point (Wednesday, March 31th)

Summary:

After work, Wang Yue has a conversation with Ling Rui that is long overdue.

Notes:

The tags of this fics haven't changed, but I'm pointing at them to remind you — especially the tag about eating disorders.

9,4k words

Whenever Wang Yue had a free moment between deliveries, he looked for additional jobs on his phone. It quickly proved to be an impossible endeavor. The majority of jobs didn't offer the option to work at night and demanded qualifications and certificates he didn't have. He had worked as a babysitter for the child of one of Ling Rui's colleagues a few times, but that was more of an occasional job. He needed something with a steady income to pay his rent. It was vexing enough that his current income depended on how many hours he worked instead of being a fixed monthly wage. Whenever he couldn't work because Wang Chao was sick or something else came up, Wang Yue struggled as he was left with less money than usual that month. 

Frustrated, he looked for flats with his current budget. It felt like a slap in the face. It was impossible. There were barely any search results, and most of them were single rooms in shared apartments for students or basement rooms guaranteed to be full of mold and bugs. This wouldn't be a healthy living environment for his brother. Wang Yue could hate his landlord and neighbors as much as he wanted, but that cheap two-room flat had always been a blessing — even if Wang Yue struggled to make it through the month lately. 

As the night went on, work got busier, and Wang Yue didn't have any time to use his phone for research anymore. His knee hurt whenever he had to walk the short distance between his bike and the restaurant or deliver meals to the upper floor, but Wang Yue gritted his teeth and pushed through. 

When he finally drove home late after midnight, he was exhausted. He wasn't tired. He had slept more than enough today. But it still felt like his body had run out of energy hours ago. It was annoying. 

After parking his bike, Wang Yue reached into his pocket and took out the key. He was grateful to have it and quickly unlocked the door, glad he didn't have to freeze again tonight. Quietly, he walked upstairs and sneaked into the flat. He put the key into the bowl on the sideboard and went to the bathroom to freshen up. 

Once he was clean, he limped through the living room. He was careful not to wake Ling Yazhi up, but she still turned around on the couch with a displeased groan. Shit. Wang Yue froze, not even daring to breathe. Ling Yazhi didn't move any further, her breathing even. He relaxed. Slowly, he opened the door to Ling Rui's bedroom —silently cursing when it squeaked— and rushed inside. 

After closing the door, he took a deep breath. The thick dark curtains were open, only the thin white drapes covering the windows, the moonlight shining through. Once his eyes had gotten used to the darkness, Wang Yue walked to the bed. His knee hurt, and his exhaustion made his limbs feel heavy. Looking forward to sleeping, he slipped out of his jeans, the fabric rustling as they fell to the floor.

"Xiao Yue?" Ling Rui mumbled drowsily.

"Shit," Wang Yue whispered. "Sorry for waking you."

"'s fine," Ling Rui mumbled, rubbing his eyes, the sleeve of his dark blue satin pajama slipping down, revealing his pale wrist. He reached for the blanket on Wang Yue's side of the bed and pulled it back. The side didn't really belong to Wang Yue. It was just the left part of Ling Rui's bed where Wang Yue usually lay. 

Wang Yue hurried to change his shirt and take off his socks before slipping into bed, lying on his back. He was still wearing one of Ling Rui's shirts for sleeping. It made him feel warm and safe.

"How's your knee?" Ling Rui asked, his hand patting Wang Yue's hip before sliding further down. "Should I take a look and—"

"It's fine," Wang Yue whispered, cutting Ling Rui off before he got so worried that he couldn't fall back asleep. Wang Yue really didn't want him to skip sleep again. His workday must have been exhausting enough after that emergency.

Humming, Ling Rui sat up. He grabbed Wang Yue's right leg and placed it on his own before flopping back down. "At least prop it up a bit," he mumbled, followed by a yawn. Ling Rui's leg was warm.

"Sleep," Wang Yue whispered, and Ling Rui hummed, already drifting off again. Closing his eyes, Wang Yue tried to sleep. Despite his exhaustion, he still felt too awake. He wouldn't mind staying up a bit longer and looking for flats again, but he couldn't risk disturbing Ling Rui's sleep with the light of his phone.

Wang Yue's stomach rumbled loudly.

"Are you hungry?" Ling Rui slurred, his voice muffled as he barely parted his lips while speaking.

"It's the middle of the night," Wang Yue whispered.

"That's no answer to my question," Ling Rui murmured. "If it were morning right now—" Ling Rui yawned. "Would you eat something?" 

"Wang Chao should have breakfast first," Wang Yue mumbled, not getting where Ling Rui was going with this.

"If Wang Chao were already full and content," Ling Rui corrected. Pondering, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his lips, and Ling Rui took the silence as a sign to continue speaking. "So, if you happened to have a tasty meal —more than enough for you and your brother and too much to store all the leftovers— would you eat something?"

In the scenario Ling Rui described, Wang Yue really didn't have any reason to refuse. "I guess." 

Wang Yue flinched when Ling Rui pushed back the blanket and jumped out of bed. 

"I'll put something together."

"What?" The moment Wang Yue realized what was going on, Ling Rui had already reached the door. "Wait, you can't! Your aunt is—" Wang Yue broke off his sentence when Ling Rui opened the door and slipped out of the bedroom. Shit. Wang Yue didn't want him to wake up Ling Yazhi because of him. Mumbling another curse, he reflexively grabbed his phone. The floor was cold underneath his feet as he hurried to follow Ling Rui, wearing only a shirt and boxers.

Without a care in the world, Ling Rui turned on the lights in the kitchen. Wang Yue warily looked towards the couch, but Ling Yazhi lay with her face turned towards the backrest, so he wasn't sure whether or not she was still asleep.

Ling Rui was already opening the rice cooker and checking its contents when Wang Yue limped into the kitchen. Clicking his tongue, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's waist with his big hands and effortlessly lifted him up to sit on the counter. 

"Don't strain your knee," Ling Rui whispered, turned around, and opened the fridge.

Perplexed, Wang Yue blinked. He knew that Ling Rui was strong, but he had picked him up as if he weighed nothing. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue held his breath. Did he weigh nothing? Had he lost so much weight that he could be so easily carried around? Somehow, it was a scary thought. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled again. 

"I'll be quick," Ling Rui promised, placing some of the things he had fetched from the fridge on the counter and some in the sink.

"Aren't you afraid to wake up your aunt?" Wang Yue whispered, worriedly peeking towards the living room. If the kitchen at least had a door that separated it from the living room, it wouldn't be so risky. But Wang Yue could see Ling Yazhi lying on the couch from his spot on the kitchen counter.

"She's wearing earplugs," Ling Rui whispered as he washed the vegetables in the sink. "It'll be fine." He turned on the stove after placing a wok on it.

It had been a while since Wang Yue had watched Ling Rui cooking, and he had never been so close, afraid to bother him. 

Ling Rui reached for a big knife and a cutting board. Skillfully, he cut a big slice off of a red bell pepper before flipping it over to repeat the process. Once he had four slices, he tossed away the center part like the core of an apple before repeating the same process with a second bell pepper. He quickly chopped everything into pieces and threw them into the wok while adding some oil. 

Wang Yue didn't know it was possible to cook so quickly — and he worked at a restaurant. As his eyes returned to the cutting board, Ling Rui was already chopping a carrot. His knife went up and down in quick succession, but the thin slices all had the exact same size. It was impressive. Once he had cut two carrots, he added them to the wok and stirred everything with a wooden spoon. The oil was sizzling, the scent of stirred vegetables drifting to Wang Yue's nose. His stomach rumbled again. 

"Just a few more minutes," Ling Rui whispered, throwing Wang Yue a smile as he went back to cutting more carrots.

Lately, food had made Wang Yue nothing but anxious, but watching Ling Rui cook made him feel at ease. Ling Rui's long, slender fingers made even the biggest, sharp knife seem small and harmless, and his precision and efficiency were mesmerizing. Wang Yue was convinced that whatever Ling Rui cooked for him, it would be tasty. 

After cutting all the carrots, Ling Rui picked up an onion and frowned, his eyes drifting to Wang Yue.

"I don't mind onions," Wang Yue whispered. 

"They might cause flatulence on an empty stomach," Ling Rui mumbled, putting it further away. "And I should have added them first anyway to caramelize them."

"Oh." Wang Yue hadn't thought about that. 

"Something plain like congee would be better for your stomach, but I want to make something tasty to avoid spoiling your appetite."

"Thanks." Wang Yue appreciated it. He knew he shouldn't be picky, but he really wasn't in the mood for congee.

After pressing a button on the rice cooker, Ling Rui reached for a block of tofu. It quickly got cut into little cubic pieces and added to the wok to be sautéed with the vegetables. Ling Rui once again stirred everything with the wooden spoon. Next, he opened several cabinets and took out more ingredients. He poured soy sauce into a small bowl and mixed it with maple syrup. 

Curiously, Wang Yue eyed the mixture. Would it taste salty or sweet? Unconsciously, he licked his lips.

Next, Ling Rui added some cornstarch, the white powder disappearing in the mixture, causing it to thicken. Afterwards, he added a dash of rice vinegar and some spice powder Wang Yue didn't recognize. Ling Rui mixed it all with a spoon before putting a drop on his fingertip. He licked it off, and Wang Yue held his breath as he caught a glimpse of Ling Rui's tongue. Wang Yue remembered how they had kissed this morning — deep and passionately. He wanted to do it again. He also wanted to suck on Ling Rui's fingers. Wang Yue loved them. He could never get enough of them — feeling them inside his mouth or ass.

Pondering, Ling Rui cocked his head, unaware of Wang Yue's dirty thoughts. He frowned before his face lit up with realization. He fetched a piece of ginger and a grater, adding some to his mixture. After stirring it again, he put another drop on his fingertip. Before he could taste test it, Wang Yue grabbed his wrist and leaned in, sucking Ling Rui's finger into his mouth. They held eye contact when Wang Yue sensuously swirled his tongue around Ling Rui's finger, taking in the perfectly balanced mix of salty, sweet, and spicy flavors. Reluctantly, he let go again.

"It's good," Wang Yue whispered.

"Oh." Blushing, Ling Rui needed a moment to recover. "Alright." He quickly added his sauce to the wok, mixing everything. Afterwards, he grabbed two bowls and put some rice in them. Wang Yue was surprised it was already cooked, but maybe Ling Rui had just warmed up some leftovers. Ling Rui turned off the stove and divided the tofu stir fry between the two bowls before adding some sesame seeds to both bowls and a few red pepper flakes to only one bowl. 

It was very thoughtful, but the ridiculously tiny amount made Wang Yue snort. "You can add some more." Unlike Ling Rui, Wang Yue liked spicy food.

Ling Rui shook his head. "I'm not sure if you can stomach something too spicy tonight."

Wang Yue parted his lips to protest, but then he remembered how his stomach had turned over after drinking the smoothies today. Maybe Ling Rui was right. Wang Yue couldn't trust his stomach today. 

After grabbing two pairs of chopsticks, Ling Rui turned off the light and effortlessly carried their bowls with his big hands. "Can you walk?" he whispered, his voice full of worry.

"Yeah." Carefully, Wang Yue got down from the counter and followed Ling Rui back into his bedroom. He tried his best to walk steadily to avoid worrying Ling Rui, but the pain in his knee made him wince, and Ling Rui didn't miss it, his ears as sharp as his eyes.

Ling Rui put the bowls down on his desk and rearranged some books to make more space before fetching a water bottle from his nightstand. He pulled his white, well-cushioned reading chair closer to the desk. "Sit down here," he instructed while taking his place on his simple black lacquered wooden chair. 

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled, placing his phone on the desk. The moment he sat down on the soft armchair, gravity immediately pulled him back, and he sank into the cushions. He tried to sit up straight again, but Ling Rui softly shook his head and handed him his bowl and chopsticks. 

"Just relax." Tentatively, Ling Rui reached for Wang Yue's right leg, rearranging it until the back of Wang Yue's injured knee rested on the armrest and his foot in Ling Rui's lap. 

Wang Yue almost felt too pampered. 

"Enjoy your meal." Ling Rui immediately started to dig in, and Wang Yue blinked in surprise. He had wondered if Ling Rui had only made two bowls so Wang Yue wouldn't have to eat on his own, but apparently he had been hungry, too. It was nice to know. Wang Yue would have felt guilty if he had been the sole reason for robbing Ling Rui of his sleep again. 

The bowl was warm in Wang Yue's hands, and the food smelled delicious. But when he grabbed the chopsticks and picked up a piece of tofu, he hesitated. He didn't know why. His hand just stopped moving as he stared at the tips of his chopsticks, squeezing the soft piece of tofu. Its white color was gone as it had taken on a brownish tone from absorbing the sauce. What had he even done to deserve Ling Rui's delicious cooking in the middle of the night?

Ling Rui continued to eat and tried not to let it show that Wang Yue's hesitation worried him, but Wang Yue knew him well enough by now to notice his worried glances no matter how subtle they were.

"Do you think I've lost weight since the first time we met?" Wang Yue spoke his thoughts, and Ling Rui paused in the middle of lifting his chopsticks. 

"Yes." The reply came immediately, without even a second of hesitation — as if the answer were the most obvious thing ever. And maybe it was — to everyone but Wang Yue. He knew it had to be true. He had noticed it when changing his clothes. He had seen it when watching his reflection in the mirror. And it was the rational consequence of him skipping so many meals. But somehow, Wang Yue didn't believe it.

"Do you think my body is attractive?" 

"Do you think your body is attractive?" Ling Rui returned the question. Patiently, he placed his bowl on the desk and his chopsticks on top of it, giving Wang Yue his full attention.

Wang Yue had never loved himself, but not everything about his body was unattractive — at least, that was how it used to be. Nowadays, he wasn't sure anymore. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he had been shocked the last few times he had looked into a mirror — so shocked that he had shut his eyes to the facts. He didn't recognize himself anymore. He didn't look attractive anymore. He looked sick. 

The word felt too strong. He wasn't sick — just a bit unhealthy.

"Not anymore," Wang Yue replied. 

The realization hurt. Maybe it shouldn't, but it did. And Wang Yue was too exhausted to carry the burden alone. His hand trembled and the piece of tofu slipped from his chopsticks. It landed in his bowl, mockingly taunting Wang Yue to pick it up again and eat it. But Wang Yue couldn't. He wanted to, but he couldn't. Eating was supposed to be one of the easiest things for a living being and should happen naturally like breathing, but Wang Yue struggled to do it. 

"Rui-ge," Wang Yue whispered, his voice trembling as he almost didn't dare to continue talking. "I want to eat again."

He felt stupid for saying it because more often than not the only thing stopping him from eating was himself. Ling Rui must think of him as a pathetic idiot. Self-consciously, Wang Yue averted his eyes.

"I'm proud of you."

"For real?" Hopefully, Wang Yue raised his head. 

"Mmn. It's the first step to getting better." Smiling, Ling Rui caressed Wang Yue's leg, his fingertip brushing over his skin. "Yue'er?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's move in together."

Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise. "What?" he whispered, staring at Ling Rui in disbelief. He must have misheard that. Where was this sudden change of topic coming from?

"Let's move in together," Ling Rui repeated with a warm smile. "Just you, me, and your brother. I promise I'll cook for you every day."

"You—" Wang Yue was still too perplexed to catch on. "You want to—"

"I want to spend more time with you, Yue'er," Ling Rui confessed. "I know we haven't been dating for long and one could think that it's still too soon. But—" He paused, searching for the right words. "When Fangning and I moved in together, we hadn't even known each other for two weeks. It was a bit rushed, even though the circumstances were different. And on the other hand, you and Meilin were dating for years, but never moved in together. So I really don't know whether or not the two of us are good at picking the right moment for such a decision, but—" he licked his lips and took a deep breath "—it feels like the right moment."

"Because my flat was—"

"No," Ling Rui interrupted him immediately. "Not only because of that. Sure, it is part of the reason — just like the fact I want to move out of here is part of the reason."

"What?" 

"Don't get me wrong. I love my mum and my aunts, but we could all use some distance."

Wang Yue blinked in surprise when Ling Rui sighed loudly. He knew that Ling Rui and his mother were on bad terms lately, but Wang Yue had no idea that it was bad enough for Ling Rui to intend to leave.

"But I want to move in with you for selfish reasons," Ling Rui admitted, his cheeks flushed. "I love nothing more than the thought of coming home to you every day, Yue'er. I want to cook dinner for you and your brother, watching you smile while you eat. I want to wake up at night when you sneak into bed after work, cuddling close to share body heat. I want to see you sleeping peacefully in the early morning." Tentatively, he caressed Wang Yue's leg, brushing from his bandaged knee to his ankle and back. "I just want to spend as many seconds with you as possible. These past few weeks taught me that I'm sick and tired of being without you. I know our work schedules will still be different most of the time, but if we live together, we will see each other more often than we used to."

Wang Yue had held back the tears for days, but now he felt his lips quivering and his eyes burning. It all sounded too good to be true. Ling Rui didn't want to move out because he wanted to get away from his mother but because he wanted to be with him. Ling Rui wanted to spend time with him. Ling Rui didn't even not mind getting woken up at night, no, he even wanted it. 

It was difficult to comprehend, and Wang Yue had a million questions about how this was supposed to work, but for now, neither those questions nor their answers mattered. For now, the only thing that mattered was the warmth that filled him up from the inside as he realized that even in this harsh, cold world there was a soft, warm place for him. 

Because Ling Rui wanted him by his side.

"Rui-ge," Wang Yue called out in need, unable to say more as the tears finally broke free, the exhaustion from everything that had happened lately mixing with the relief and joy that Ling Rui wanted to be with him — wanted to spend even more time with him. 

As so often happened, Ling Rui understood what Wang Yue needed the most, and a moment later, Wang Yue's bowl was securely placed on the desk as Ling Rui joined him in the armchair, pulling Wang Yue onto his lap without straining his knee. Wang Yue buried his face in the crook of Ling Rui's neck, crying loudly as he clung to Ling Rui's dark blue pajama shirt.

Ling Rui simply let it happen — encouraged it, even, as he told him to let it all out, soothingly stroking his back and kissing the top of his head. 

So Wang Yue let it all out — the joy and the pain, the hope and the fear, the longing and the frustration. His emotions were all over the place, but he felt safe in Ling Rui's embrace. Whenever he cried alone in his bed in a moment of weakness, Wang Yue felt miserable, but Ling Rui was warm and strong, his touch gentle, and his heart kinder than anyone else's. It felt good to cry in his arms. It lifted a burden from Wang Yue's shoulders. The realization made Wang Yue cry even more, his body shaking. 

"It's okay," Ling Rui whispered, hugging Wang Yue tighter. "I've got you. I'll always be here for you."

Wang Yue allowed himself to be selfish, clinging to Ling Rui's warm body like a greedy child, relishing the reassuring words and touches. He didn't know how much time had passed until his tears finally slowed down. 

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, his voice raspy. Embarrassed, he lifted his head and tried to wipe away the wet spots on Ling Rui's pajama shirt, even though he knew it was futile.

"It's fine," Ling Rui whispered, placing a kiss on Wang Yue's forehead. His lips were soft and warm. "You've been under a lot of stress lately." He caressed Wang Yue's cheek, wiping away the remnants of his tears. "You had to let it out at some point."

"You, too," Wang Yue immediately replied. He leaned back to sit sideways —the backs of his knees on the armrest— to get a better look at Ling Rui's face. Tentatively, he reached out to trace the dark circles under Ling Rui's eyes. "You're also stressed."

"I'm fine."

"No." Wang Yue shook his head, and Ling Rui's lips parted in surprise. "You're exhausted. You said it yourself last night," Wang Yue reminded him, and Ling Rui almost looked as if he regretted admitting it. Knowing him, he probably tried to keep it all in to be strong for Wang Yue's sake. This wouldn't do. Ling Rui would eventually break under all that pressure. "You're exhausted, too," Wang Yue repeated. "You even fell asleep during your lunch break."

"Wait." Ling Rui paused, furrowing his brows. "How do you know about that?"

Wang Yue parted his lips to say something before he decided to simply show it to Ling Rui. Wordlessly, he reached for his phone. He opened his chat with Peng Bo, the picture at the bottom of the screen, and turned his phone so Ling Rui could take a look.

The embarrassed yelp that slipped from Ling Rui's lips, made the corner of Wang Yue's mouth twitch. It was adorable how easily Ling Rui got flustered. Ling Rui zoomed in on the picture and groaned, his cheeks turning red. "I'm drooling! Couldn't Peng Bo take a better photo of me?" 

Wang Yue snorted. "I like it."

It was quiet for a moment while Ling Rui carefully peeked at Wang Yue several times before his eyes returned to the screen. 

Irritated, Wang Yue frowned. "What?" 

"Why didn't you reply to him?"

"Huh?" Blinking, Wang Yue turned his phone back towards himself. 

"You never answered him," Ling Rui clarified.

"Oh, I—" Wang Yue's sentence broke off as he remembered the circumstances. He had received that message in the middle of another breakdown and completely forgot about it later. "It was bad timing," he mumbled, turning off the screen of his phone. As he averted his gaze, his eyes drifted to the bowls on the desk. It looked like the food had gone cold. Wang Yue felt guilty. He had already wasted Ling Rui's smoothies by spitting them back out and now he hadn't even tried the food Ling Rui had cooked for him in the middle of the night.

Wang Yue's body shifted as Ling Rui wordlessly leaned forward, reaching for their bowls and the water bottle. After leaning back again, he placed the bowls in their laps and uncapped the bottle. Wang Yue hadn't even realized how thirsty he was until his hand reached for the bottle on its own, stealing it before Ling Rui could take a sip.

"Slowly," Ling Rui whispered as Wang Yue gulped down the water like a starved man, the plastic creaking as it crumpled.

And maybe he was a starved man.

What had he eaten these past few days? Some chicken soup over the course of three days, a bite of youtiao, not even two cereal bars, and some smoothies that he hadn't kept in for long. Was that the reason he felt so exhausted? Now that he realized it, he felt stupid for not noticing sooner.

Wang Yue put down the bottle, the plastic cracking as the bottle expanded with air again. It couldn't go on like this. Today, he had been lucky that Ling Zhu had returned on time to bring lunch for his brother, but he couldn't always count on others. Wang Yue needed to have enough energy to go grocery shopping and cook for his brother. "You've gotta force me to eat without forcing me," he mumbled before grimacing. "Sorry. That makes no sense."

"No, I understand." Ling Rui retrieved the bottle from Wang Yue's hands and took a sip himself. "Do you want help from other—"

"No," Wang Yue immediately declined. "I'm good. I don't need—" Biting down on his bottom lip, he stopped himself from talking. He didn't know if he was in denial or if he could manage this on his own with only a bit of Ling Rui's help. But he knew that he wasn't sick and didn't need professional help or whatever Ling Rui had intended to suggest. It was just part of his personality that he had a complicated relationship with food. It had always been like that —sometimes better, sometimes worse— but he had always recovered well enough to survive.

"Did you like the smoothie I made for you?" Ling Rui asked. He picked up his chopsticks and resumed eating, either not minding that the food had gone cold or not letting it show that it bothered him.

"Until my brother pushed me to drink it all in one go and I vomited it back out afterwards, yeah."

Ling Rui failed to keep his poker face, his expression torn from worry as he swallowed his food with visible effort. Maybe Wang Yue needed to reinstall his brain-to-mouth filter or at least work on his timing.

"Does that happen often?" Ling Rui asked hesitantly as if walking on eggshells. 

"What?" 

"The vomiting."

Wang Yue shook his head. "Rarely." 

Ling Rui released a deep breath, looking relieved. "I'm sorry you had to go through that today," he said. "But thank you for being honest with me." Despite the unappetizing topic, Ling Rui continued to eat. He really had to be hungry if his appetite still wasn't spoiled.

Wang Yue's stomach rumbled. Raking his teeth over his bottom lip, he stared at the vegetable stir fry with rice. It looked delicious. He pondered trying to eat, his fingers brushing over the edge of his phone. He only now realized that he was still holding it for a reason. Quickly, he sent a reply to Peng Bo. 

WY [1:47 am]:
He's really cute. Send me more pictures if it's not too much trouble.

After placing his phone back on the desk, Wang Yue picked up his chopsticks, pushing a piece of tofu back and forth. It looked like the piece he had already picked up earlier, but it could also be another one. They all looked the same thanks to Ling Rui's perfectly precise cutting. 

"Do you know what makes it easier for you to eat?" Ling Rui asked carefully. "Or what makes it more difficult?"

"I'm not sure," Wang Yue mumbled. He really didn't know why he struggled so much. "I always feel like I need to save the food for my brother."

"Wang Chao is well-fed and asleep right now," Ling Rui replied.

"But what about tomorrow?" Wang Yue asked. He didn't know if Ling Zhu would be home to make lunch for Wang Chao. Why had his life been filled with uncertainties lately? "I can't eat if my mind is too busy," Wang Yue mumbled in realization. Putting the chopsticks back down, he cupped the bowl with both hands. It really had turned cold by now. 

"What's on your mind?" Ling Rui prompted softly. 

"A lot."

"For example?"

"I asked your family how much money I owe them for staying here and for all of Wang Chao's meals, but they told me to talk to you about it." Somehow the topic made Wang Yue embarrassed, and he didn't dare to look at Ling Rui.

"Xiao Yue." A quiet sigh slipped from Ling Rui's lips, his voice growing soft. "You don't have to pay for anything while being here." 

"But I—" Wang Yue's eyes snapped back to Ling Rui. He didn't understand. "How can you—"

"You're part of our family, Yue'er," Ling Rui explained patiently. "Would you ever demand money from Wang Chao when giving him food?"

"What?" Wang Yue frowned. "Of course not! He can't even earn money."

"Okay, but—" Ling Rui hummed, pondering. "I remember staying at your place and having dinner together a few times." Most of the time, Ling Rui brought over food. But on some days, he had cooked something from the leftovers he found in Wang Yue's kitchen. "You never charged me for that."

"Of course, I didn't! You're my boyfriend. Why should I—" Wang Yue paused as it suddenly clicked. With parted lips, Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui, who expectantly raised his eyebrows. "But—" Ling Rui was one thing, but what about his family? They weren't dating him. 

"But?" Ling Rui prompted softly. Wrapping an arm around Wang Yue, he reassuringly stroked his hip.

"What about your family? Maybe they don't want to pay for my meals." Not like Wang Yue had had any meals yet. "Or for my brother's meals."

"Did they say so?" Ling Rui asked patiently.

"No," Wang Yue whispered. On the one hand, he couldn't even imagine they ever would say so, but on the other hand, it was so difficult to comprehend that someone would not charge him money. "Your mother said I don't need to pay for anything. And when I insisted, your aunt said I should talk to you."

"I don't know if this helps," Ling Rui said, "but we've split up household expenses and I'm in charge of paying for all the groceries. It has nothing to do with my family's money." 

Wang Yue hesitated. Living off Ling Rui's money didn't feel appealing either, but at least he was less of a stranger. Last year, Wang Yue had never had any trouble accepting leftovers from the restaurant or food from Meilin. Why was he struggling so much when it came to Ling Rui? 

"I know you're not dating me because of my money, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui said. "If that's what you're worried about deep down."

Wang Yue's eyes widened in realization. Maybe that was part of it. Maybe he had been afraid of that. Ling Rui really was good at reading his mind — just like his older aunt was. It was a bit scary to be seen like that, but maybe it could also lead to good things. Ling Rui realized things that Wang Yue didn't. "And you won't want me to pay you back eventually?"

Ling Rui shook his head. "Never. I promise." 

"What about that cold medicine you bought for my brother?"

"No need to pay me back either. I saw a family member wasn't feeling well and did what I could to help."

A family member. It always warmed Wang Yue's heart that Ling Rui not only accepted but also cared about Wang Chao. 

"If there's anything that can make you happy, I'm willing to do it for you. Make yourself at home here." Patiently, Ling Rui smiled, knowing that Wang Yue hadn't spilled all the beans yet. He took another bite from his meal, but his attention never left Wang Yue.

"Is it okay to take something from the fridge?" Wang Yue dared to whisper. "Today, I wanted to make lunch for my brother but didn't know if—" His words trailed off as he saw Ling Rui's shocked expression, Ling Rui's hand with the chopsticks coming to a rest on his lap and his thumb pausing the caressing of Wang Yue's hip. Shit. Had he asked for too much after all now? "Forget it, I—"

"Of course, that's okay!" Ling Rui dropped his chopsticks and raked a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't even consider the possibility that this might be a hurdle for you."

Wang Yue blinked.

"I thought it was obvious. Sorry, that's my mistake." He squeezed Wang Yue's hip. "I had even put that note on the snacks but forgot about the fridge." Ling Rui shook his head and grabbed Wang Yue's hand. "Yue'er, listen." He waited until Wang Yue met his eyes. "I want you to feel at home here. You can act just like you would at home. You can do what you want and eat what you want and take what you want." 

"So I could have used your shower gel on the first night?" Wang Yue blurted out, and Ling Rui stared at him with big eyes.

"You—" Ling Rui licked his lips and swallowed down his exclamation, clearing his throat. "You didn't use it?" His voice sounded less accusing this time. 

Wang Yue sheepishly shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. He shook his head again to shake the annoying strands away.

"But you didn't have yours. So you showered without using any shower gel?" Ling Rui concluded. 

Wang Yue nodded.

"Oh my god." Ling Rui took a deep breath, massaging his temples with his long fingers. "Yue'er." He put down his hand to meet Wang Yue's eyes. "You don't need to ask for permission to use anything in this house. You can use all my stuff in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in my bedroom, everywhere! You can eat with my family or eat on your own. My family or I will make sure Wang Chao gets at least three meals every day, but if you want to cook something different for him that's also okay. And you can always join us to eat — or eat later or sooner or in the middle of the night." Ling Rui snorted but looked more worried than amused. He reached out to cup Wang Yue's face. "I just want you to feel comfortable and be happy and healthy."

It was a lot that Ling Rui offered, and Wang Yue didn't know if he could accept it. But somehow, he wanted to try. "You think I deserve that?" Wang Yue whispered, feeling the tears getting back to his eyes.

"Yes, Yue'er," Ling Rui confirmed. "You deserve every good thing in the world." 

"You've told me that before," Wang Yue whispered. "Before we started dating."

"I remember." Ling Rui smiled fondly, stroking Wang Yue's cheek. "And I still mean it. I'll tell you as often as necessary."

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled softly. Turning his head, he kissed Ling Rui's palm. He traced the rim of his bowl with his thumb. "I don't like getting pushed to eat — by anyone."

"Then say so," Ling Rui advised, pulling his hand back to rest it on Wang Yue's thigh. "No one has the right to push you. Speak your mind in such a situation."

Wang Yue huffed. "What makes you think that I could do that?"

"Xiao Yue," Ling Rui said with a deadpan expression. "When I met you, you always blurted out your thoughts without mincing your words. I always liked that about you." He blushed as if he were ashamed to admit it, even though Wang Yue remembered that Ling Rui had often told him he appreciated his brutal honesty. "I'm not telling you to be impolite or rude on purpose, but you really don't have to hold back and bottle everything up while getting pushed around."

Now that Wang Yue thought about it, he realized that Ling Rui was right. Wang Yue had changed. But that was because he knew how much Ling Rui cared about his family and because Wang Yue loved him so much. He wouldn't want to get on their bad side and risk hurting or displeasing Ling Rui. He would react differently if a stranger bothered him. 

"You can tell my mum to stop if she pushes you too much," Ling Rui explained when Wang Yue stayed quiet. "I'm serious. Tell her."

Wang Yue sighed. Ling Yunzhi had also told him yesterday to speak up if something or someone bothered him. But it wasn't that easy, even though their advice was valid. "She only means well," he mumbled.

"Yes, she means well, but she only makes it worse. We talked about that yesterday." Ling Rui rolled his eyes, and Wang Yue tensed, remembering the fight between Ling Yunzhi and Ling Zhu he had overheard. Ling Yunzhi had said the same thing. "I also mean well when I cook for you in the middle of the night and would love to shove that food down your throat, but I wouldn't ever do that because I know it wouldn't help. It would only make you feel worse. If my mum means well, she needs to learn to hold back." He wildly gesticulated with his hands. "You can't force your help onto people! She always does—" Ling Rui groaned. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

"Has your relationship with your mother always been so tense?"

"No." Ling Rui sighed deeply. He picked up his chopsticks and continued to eat. "We had some ups and downs, but lately she's been really exhausting. I barely recognize her anymore," he mumbled the last sentence as if not intending to say it out loud, shoving more food into his mouth.

"Your aunt also mentioned that your mother changed lately."

"Da-gu or Xiao-gu?" Ling Rui blushed when he realized he had talked with his mouth full and some grains of rice had fallen from his lips.

"The younger one," Wang Yue whispered, brushing a grain of rice from Ling Rui's chin, causing it to fall back into the bowl. "Maybe I'm bothering your mother."

"No, no, no," Ling Rui immediately denied. "Don't even think that. I already complained about her days ago. Remember? It has nothing to do with you staying over."

Wang Yue nodded. He remembered. Actually, Ling Rui had told him more than once, and Ling Yazhi had told him so as well. And yet Wang Yue still considered the possibility that it could be his fault. He was such an idiot. Sighing, Wang Yue picked up his chopsticks again. He couldn't worry Ling Rui even further. He had to eat. Indecisively, he alternated between poking a piece of pepper and a carrot slice with his chopsticks. 

"I want to help you, Xiao Yue, but I'm not sure how," Ling Rui admitted with a pained whisper.

"Sorry." Wang Yue grimaced. This whole situation would be easier if he understood himself better.

"I wasn't sure whether or not making meals especially for you would help you," Ling Rui admitted. "Like that smoothie." He paused as he took another bite of his meal and chewed. "I thought drinking vegetables and fruits could be easier than eating them. And since I made a bottle for everyone, you wouldn't have to worry about taking away anyone else's food. But on the other hand, I wasn't sure whether or not that would put too much pressure on you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Wang Yue said, staring at his untouched bowl of vegetable stir fry, his hand with the chopsticks resting in his lap. "You've put a lot of thought into it." He had liked the smoothies until his brother had urged him to drink more. "It was tasty."

Ling Rui's eyes lit up. "I can make you another one tomorrow."

"If it's not too much trouble."

Ling Rui shook his head. "It's not." He leaned forward and placed his empty bowl on the desk. He was done with his meal before Wang Yue had even started. "I like cooking for my family."

It wasn't the first time Ling Rui had called him family, but Wang Yue's heart still beat faster as he was overcome by emotions. Ling Rui was so patient and gentle. Wang Yue didn't deserve him. Ling Rui cared so much for him, and Wang Yue only troubled and worried him more with every passing day. It couldn't go on like this. 

Lifting the bowl to his lips, Wang Yue held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut, afraid that—

Afraid that what? There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just food — food that Ling Rui had cooked for Wang Yue. 

Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue opened his eyes and used his chopsticks to shovel a large amount of food into his mouth — rice, carrots, bell peppers, tofu, everything. 

Tears ran down Wang Yue's cheeks as he became aware of the flavors spreading on his tongue. It was like he could taste all of Ling Rui's feelings he had put into cooking this. His affection, care, and worries. Or maybe Wang Yue was just imagining things and finally losing his mind for real. 

Quietly, Ling Rui stroked Wang Yue's back and his thigh. His hands were warm.

Still pressing the bowl against his lips, Wang Yue chewed and swallowed before shoveling more food into his mouth. 

"Slowly," Ling Rui murmured, but now that Wang Yue had taken the first bite, he realized how hungry he was. It was like his body couldn't get enough now that it had gotten a taste of this delicious treat. "Xiao Yue," Ling Rui reprimanded when Wang Yue tried to quickly shovel even more food into his mouth. "You'll get a stomach ache if you eat too quickly and don't chew properly."

Reluctantly, Wang Yue rested the bowl in his lap, thoroughly chewing the food in his mouth. The sauce was a perfect mix of sweet, salty, and spicy flavors, and Wang Yue's stomach rumbled. Even though the food was cold, it was delicious beyond words. Wang Yue felt like he hadn't had a proper meal in ages, even though he had eaten a bit of Ling Rui's chicken soup on the weekend. His instincts told him to gobble down the food, but Ling Rui had warned him about that stomach ache. If Ling Rui had said it, it had to be true. Ling Rui always was right about these things. He had also been right about Wang Yue's knee. Wang Yue paused chewing when he remembered the state of his injury. 

"Hm?"

Wang Yue swallowed. "I fucked up my knee again," he blurted out before picking up some bell peppers. He put them into his mouth. "I thought it was fine again," he mumbled while chewing. "It was fine again." He swallowed and picked up a piece of tofu. "But then I carried my stuff to the basement, and suddenly it wasn't fine anymore." Guilt made him pause. Ignoring his food, he looked at Ling Rui. "Sorry."

Ling Rui sighed, but for some reason, he didn't look surprised. "Stay here," he said as he rearranged Wang Yue's legs to stand up, leaving Wang Yue alone in the reading chair. "I'll fetch the ointment and an ice pack."

"Sorry," Wang Yue whispered, but Ling Rui only ruffled his hair and left the room. He hadn't seemed mad, but he had to be disappointed. Thoughtfully, Wang Yue lifted the piece of tofu to his lips. Maybe Ling Rui was already used to Wang Yue's self-destructive nature and didn't get mad about it anymore. Or he had given up on Wang Yue ever being more careful. Somehow, the piece of tofu between his chopsticks suddenly felt too heavy. Slowly, Wang Yue put his hand back down. It was getting difficult to eat again. He stopped trying.

Ling Rui returned to the bedroom, his arms full. He walked to the nightstand on Wang Yue's side of the bed and placed down some cereal bars. After picking up the bandage Wang Yue had left there this noon, he went to Wang Yue, handing him a bottle of water while placing the other things he had carried on the desk. 

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled, his bowl resting in his lap. He took a few sips of water. It was very refreshing. He really should remember to drink more during the day.

Ling Rui sat down on the chair and scooted closer. After pulling Wang Yue's right leg on his lap, he looked at his foot first. "What about your blisters?"

"Only hurt when I had to wear shoes during work," Wang Yue said, placing the water bottle on the desk. It still hurt, but it wasn't bad enough that Wang Yue couldn't ignore the pain. "But it's better now that I have my shoes back." 

"That's good," Ling Rui replied but eyed Wang Yue's foot from all angles anyway. Content with what he saw, Ling Rui began to unwrap the bandage around Wang Yue's knee. He paused, trying to hide a big yawn by turning towards his shoulder. "Sorry," he mumbled, blinking several times as if he had trouble keeping his eyes open.

"Sorry for keeping you up again!" Wang Yue exclaimed, guilt making him feel sick. He placed his bowl on the desk so quickly that it clattered loudly, and Ling Rui lifted his head, their eyes meeting. "My knee isn't that bad! You can treat it tomorrow."

Suddenly, Ling Rui looked just as guilty as Wang Yue felt, and they were both shocked by their actions when Wang Yue tried to pull his leg back, but Ling Rui tightly grabbed his ankle to keep it in place. Regret made Ling Rui's pale face look fallen. "Sorry," he whispered. He let go of Wang Yue's ankle but reached for the bandaged knee again. "It's fine, really." He bit back another yawn. "I can manage somehow." When Wang Yue didn't reply, Ling Rui sighed. "Sorry for making you feel bad again when you'd just started to feel better."

"It's not your fault," Wang Yue mumbled, grabbing the hem of his shirt.

"My yawn triggered this," Ling Rui replied, peeking at Wang Yue's abandoned bowl. 

Wang Yue was about to say that it wasn't true since he had already stopped eating when Ling Rui had left to fetch his things, but that wouldn't help to reduce his guilty conscience. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue looked at the bowl. He knew he should eat up, but the thought of keeping Ling Rui up any longer made him feel sick. What had he even been thinking, talking to Ling Rui and crying in his arms in the middle of the night? Ling Rui was already sleep-deprived enough. 

"Dessert?" Ling Rui asked, sounding hopeful, and Wang Yue was startled out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed that Ling Rui had brought a cereal bar to the desk instead of leaving them all on his nightstand. Reflexively, Wang Yue accepted it. It was the nutty one he had preferred over the fruity one yesterday. He traced the edge of the package with his fingertip. It had been tasty. He wouldn't mind eating it again. But something about it didn't feel right. 

"No," Wang Yue said, placing the cereal bar on the table. Determined, he reached for the bowl instead. "You skipped sleep to cook this for me." He picked up his chopstick. "I won't let it go to waste."

"Don't force yourself," Ling Rui whispered, but the hopeful glimmer in his eyes told another story. Ling Rui wanted him to eat up. 

"I like your cooking," Wang Yue said sincerely. He picked up some rice and warily stared at it before putting it into his mouth. He was afraid to feel sick or worse, but fortunately, his stomach seemed to behave. Relieved, he swallowed and exhaled deeply.

Smiling, Ling Rui palpated Wang Yue's knee, the bandage already taken off. It was still a bit swollen but didn't hurt as much as it had last night. Content with what he saw, Ling Rui reached for the ointment.

"If you consider moving in with me—"

"Isn't that a done deal already?" Wang Yue blurted out, putting down his chopsticks.

Ling Rui's eyes widened in surprise. "You never agreed," he mumbled. "I mean, I want it! But I wouldn't want to force or push you." Defensively, Ling Rui raised his hands. "And I just wanted to ask if you'd ask Wang Chao about his opinion on this or if I should do it."

Now it was Wang Yue's time to look surprised. "You want to ask for his consent?"

Ling Rui frowned. "Of course." He put some ointment on Wang Yue's knee. It felt cold. "This involves him as well."

Wang Yue blinked. Now he almost felt bad that he hadn't considered asking his brother. But he knew him well enough. Wang Chao loved Ling Rui. "I'll talk to him, but you don't have to worry." He lifted his bowl and shoved some of the remaining rice into his mouth. It had soaked up the sauce, a delicious mix of different flavors. "He wouldn't mind moving in with you. I'm more afraid that he won't want to move out of here."

Ling Rui smiled awkwardly. "Are they spoiling him too much?" Tentatively, he rubbed the ointment into Wang Yue's skin.

"No," Wang Yue replied, picking up a piece of tofu. Only after chewing and swallowing did he continue to talk. "He enjoys and deserves this. I'm glad there's someone who can afford to spoil him a bit."

"You're also spoiling him, Xiao Yue."

"I'm not—"

"You're always putting him first, Yue'er," Ling Rui insisted. Self-consciously, Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip and grabbed the bowl tighter. "You're spoiling him way more than yourself."

"If you put it like that—" Awkwardly, Wang Yue shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I guess." To avoid eye contact, he pressed the bowl against his lips and raised it to shove some rice into his mouth.

"There, done," Ling Rui said.

"Hm?" Wang Yue mumbled, his mouth full.

Ling Rui looked down, and Wang Yue followed his line of view. Wang Yue's knee was already bandaged again. 

"You're so quick and efficient, Doctor Ling," Wang Yue teasingly praised him. "Your treatment didn't even hurt." He put a carrot slice into his mouth. It tasted sweet.

"You should rest again tomorrow, even if it doesn't hurt anymore. Otherwise, it might get worse again."

Wang Yue knew Ling Rui was right but still couldn't refrain from sighing. "Yes, Doctor Ling," he mumbled.

"Xiao Yue." Ling Rui narrowed his eyes in warning.

"How many lives did you save when you worked overtime today?" Wang Yue asked to turn the attention away from him. After finally taking the last bite, he placed the empty bowl on the desk. He had managed to finish a whole meal. He was almost proud of himself.

Pondering, Ling Rui cocked his head and grabbed his chin. "Three?" he asked, frowning. "Maybe four."

"You're amazing." Wang Yue was seriously in awe. 

Humbly, Ling Rui shook his head, his cheeks turning red. He grabbed the ice pack and placed it on Wang Yue's knee, securing it with the second bandage. Wang Yue watched Ling Rui's beautiful, slender fingers working and before he knew it, Ling Rui was already done. 

"Alright." Ling Rui nodded, content with his work. Carefully, he put Wang Yue's foot down and stood up. "Let's sleep, or Peng Bo will make fun of me again tomorrow."

Wang Yue snorted. He knew Peng Bo was only looking out for Ling Rui. He was glad Ling Rui had such a good friend. Before Wang Yue could even try to stand up, Ling Rui wrapped his arm around his back and reached for his legs, easily lifting him up. Startled, Wang Yue wrapped his arms around Ling Rui's neck.

"I can walk on my own!" Wang Yue protested, even though he secretly enjoyed getting manhandled like that. Before he knew it, they had already arrived at the bed where Ling Rui carefully sat him down. "My phone," Wang Yue mumbled, and Ling Rui went back to the desk to fetch it and turned off the lights before returning to Wang Yue's side of the bed. Wang Yue pondered turning his phone off in case his landlord decided to call at an ungodly hour again for whatever reason, but he hesitated. He was too used to always being on call in case something happened to Wang Chao.

"Leave it," Ling Rui mumbled as if he could read Wang Yue's thoughts. He pulled back the blanket so Wang Yue could put his feet beneath it. "If that idiot calls again, I'll tell him off."

"Oh?" Smirking, Wang Yue placed the phone on the nightstand and looked at Ling Rui. "Will you be my knight in shining armor again?"

"Always," Ling Rui replied with so much sincerity that Wang Yue suddenly felt embarrassed. "Scoot over," Ling Rui instructed, sitting down on Wang Yue's side of the bed. "It's better for your knee like this."

"Thanks," Wang Yue whispered, turning to lay on his left side, facing Ling Rui. He willingly placed his right leg on Ling Rui as soon as Ling Rui lay down on his back.

"You're welcome," Ling Rui replied. "Also—"

"Hm?"

"I like it when you cling to me," Ling Rui admitted. He wrapped his arm around Wang Yue's back to pull him closer and grabbed his thigh with his other hand.

"I'm glad," Wang Yue whispered, burying his face in the crook of Ling Rui's neck. He felt warm and safe. Somehow, he wished every night could be like this. And maybe it would if they moved in together. 

The thought made Wang Yue relax as he drifted off to sleep.

 

Notes:

See? I told you this hurt/comfort fic would eventually have comfort! 9 chapters remaining. What could possibly go wrong now?

Also, somehow, writing Ling Rui finally asking Wang Yue to move in with him felt like writing the Oh. moment of a slow burn fic. I've been waiting for it ever since I started writing chapter one. It's a very important turning point of their life.

Let me know what you liked or disliked about this chapter ♥

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Chapter 12: Pondering the future (Thursday, April 1st)

Summary:

After Ling Rui suggests they move in together, Wang Yue has to ask his brother for his consent.

Notes:

A new day that once again turned out to be too long to be only one chapter — I'm not even surprised anymore. And yes, my outline said "one chapter for every day, about 3-4k words." Sounds like a joke, looking at the result, right?

Bad news: this is my least favorite chapter
Good news: the fic gets better again after this chapter. Trust me. Chapter 14 will be amaaaazing.

Chapter title by G. Thank you!

5,1k words

Groaning, Wang Yue turned around, hugging Ling Rui tighter. He frowned when Ling Rui's body yielded more than usual. Since when was Ling Rui so squishy? Confused, Wang Yue blinked his eyes open, staring at a pillow in his arms. 

A sigh slipped from his lips as he turned to lie on his back. The ceiling was white and well-illuminated. With another groan, he realized that the sun was shining into the bedroom. Apparently, he had slept in again. Maybe he should start to set an alarm, but he was so used to getting woken up by his brother in the morning that he hadn't thought of it yet.

Still half asleep, he reached for his phone and noticed two messages. He must have been sleeping so deeply that he hadn't even heard them.

PB [6:14 am]:
Sure thing. Leave it to me! I'll send you more adorable photos of Ling Rui.

Wang Yue snorted. Peng Bo was very enthusiastic about Wang Yue's and Ling Rui's relationship. It was good that Ling Rui had such a valuable friend.

LR [6:34 am]:
Can you talk to Wang Chao about moving in together? I'll come home on time today and make dinner. We can tell ma and the others afterwards. 

Suddenly, Wang Yue sat up straight in bed. That hadn't been a dream?! After rubbing his eyes, he read the message again. It was still the same. Ling Rui had really asked him to move in with him last night. It felt surreal. 

Wang Yue took a look around. The bowls on the desk were gone, but the books that Ling Rui had moved out of the way hadn't been returned yet. On his nightstand were some cereal bars and a water bottle. There was enough proof that last night's events had really happened.

Moving in with Ling Rui.

How was that even supposed to work? Ling Rui had totally different living standards than Wang Yue. Would they even find a flat that Wang Yue could afford and Ling Rui didn't find too shabby? It sounded impossible. Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue shook his head. One step at a time, no overthinking. He shouldn't freak out before trying. 

After taking off the now-warm ice pack, Wang Yue put on some pants and a fresh shirt and left the room.

Ling Zhu was sitting at the dining table together with Wang Chao, reading his picture book. 

"Di!" Wang Chao happily exclaimed as he spotted Wang Yue. "Good morning!"

"Oh, Xiao Yue, you're up." Smiling, Ling Zhu got up. She looked ready to go out, wearing a flowery dress, a beige cardigan, and thick tights. "Good morning."

"Morning," Wang Yue replied.

"The others are all at work," Ling Zhu said, carrying her empty mug to the kitchen. 

Wang Yue hadn't even known that Ling Yunzhi had a job. Somehow, it made him curious. Maybe he could ask about it later.

"Chao'er already had breakfast and even helped me feed our fish," Ling Zhu explained, nodding towards the little aquarium before returning to the table. "Ling Rui left a note for you about breakfast." She tapped the note as if Wang Yue wouldn't see the big piece of paper under the smoothie bottle. "I'll go out to meet the neighborhood ladies. I was just waiting for you to wake up so Chao'er wouldn't be alone."

"Oh." Wang Yue immediately felt guilty. "Sorry for sleeping in," he apologized. "Just wake me up the next time."

"Don't worry, Xiao Yue." Her smile was warm and caring. "You've worked late and need your sleep." She picked up her bag and patted Wang Chao's shoulder. "Bye-bye, Chao'er. Ayi's gonna meet some friends."

Happily, Wang Chao wrapped his arms around Ling Zhu. "Bye-bye, Ayi!"

"Oh, you're so adorable." Chuckling, Ling Zhu reciprocated the hug and ruffled his hair. Wang Yue would feel crushed by so much affection, but it was nice to see how much Wang Chao enjoyed it. "See you later, Xiao Yue."

"Yeah." Awkwardly, Wang Yue raised his hand and waved. "See you later." He sighed in relief once she had put on her shoes and coat and left the flat. Ling Zhu had too much energy in the morning. Actually, she always had too much energy.

"I showed her my book, Di!" Wang Chao explained.

"That's nice," Wang Yue replied. Stepping closer to the table, he picked up the note Ling Rui had left for him.

Good morning, Xiao Yue! 
I made another smoothie for you. On the stove is some leftover congee that my mum made if you want some. Oatmeal is in the upper left kitchen cabinet if you prefer that for breakfast. It's what you usually eat, right? Or just take whatever else you like from the kitchen. 
Rui-ge

Wang Yue sighed fondly. Ling Rui worried too much again, but it was Wang Yue's own fault after everything he had told him last night. Maybe he shouldn't have confessed all his thoughts and sorrows. Ling Rui was stressed enough without worrying about Wang Yue's problems. From today on, Wang Yue had to do better and relieve the pressure on Ling Rui. 

Getting breakfast would probably be a good start so Ling Rui wouldn't have to worry about Wang Yue breaking down, but it felt like too big of a hurdle in the early morning. He wasn't even hungry yet after eating so much late at night. Instead, he ushered his brother to the bathroom to shower, wash their hair, and shave. Wang Yue pondered putting the bandage around his knee again, but it didn't hurt anymore and even though Wang Yue had watched Ling Rui bandaging his knee more than once, he had no idea how to properly do it himself. Deciding to simply rest his knee today, Wang Yue rolled up the bandage and placed it next to the first aid box in case Ling Rui wanted to wash it before putting it away.

Afterwards, the brothers left the bathroom and Wang Yue took a sip of the smoothie Ling Rui had made for him. Its color was more orange than green today, and it tasted less sour without being too sweet. It was good. He took another sip before remembering that he shouldn't overdo it. His body might not like it if he gulped down everything at once again.

"Di?" Wang Chao asked, standing next to him. "What about home? Will we go home?"

Wang Yue inhaled sharply. He didn't know why his brother suddenly came up with that topic. If it were up to him, Wang Yue would have wished for more time to mentally prepare himself for that conversation. But he couldn't waste this chance.

"Let's sit down," Wang Yue mumbled. He reached for Wang Chao's upper arm and led him towards the couch.

"Di, what's wrong?" Wang Chao asked as soon as they sat down, noticing the tense atmosphere.

Nervously, Wang Yue wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He didn't even know where to start. "Remember all the water in our home?"

Wang Chao nodded. "When I looked for fish!"

"Yes," Wang Yue replied, glad that his brother was more happy than traumatized about this event. "But there weren't any fish." Wang Chao's expression fell, and Wang Yue immediately pondered if he had said the wrong thing. But he didn't want to lie to his brother. "The water did a lot of damage, so we can't live there anymore."

"It's our home!" Wang Chao exclaimed, his eyebrows drawn together in worry.

Wang Yue grimaced. Maybe he should have skipped everything about their old flat and only talked about the new one. But it was too late now. "It was, yes. But now it's broken, and next month, it will be too expensive."

Wang Chao furrowed his eyebrows, unable to follow Wang Yue's explanation. 

Raking his teeth over his bottom lip, Wang Yue pondered how to continue. "That's why we've been living here for a while now," he spoke slowly to make sure Wang Chao could follow him, "with your Da-ge and the Ayis."

Wang Chao's eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically.

"But we can't stay here forever either," Wang Yue explained. "We can't bother them for long. This isn't our home."

"Di, where is our home?" Wang Chao asked, apparently understanding more than Wang Yue had thought at first. "Isn't our home at home?" Wang Yue felt his stomach sinking. "We live at home!"

"We will look for a new home," Wang Yue explained before Wang Chao could get even more agitated. "Would you like it if we moved in together with Rui-ge?" Nervousness caused Wang Yue to fumble with the hem of his shirt. He didn't know what he would do if his brother refused. Wang Yue still didn’t have any idea how moving in with Ling Rui was supposed to work, but he wanted to try. Even if it wouldn't last forever, Wang Yue longed for a moment of paradise.

Wang Chao cocked his head.

"Do you want a new home with me and your Da-ge?" Wang Yue rephrased his question. "A home with Di," he pointed at himself, "Ge," he tapped Wang Chao's shoulder, "and your Da-ge." Looking around, Wang Yue's eyes fell on the pictures hanging on the wall. He was about to get up and fetch a photo of Ling Rui when Wang Chao suddenly happily clapped his hands.

"Yes!"

"Yes?" Wang Yue asked hopefully.

"Home with Da-ge and Ayi!" 

Wang Yue's face fell. 

"Di, what's wrong?" Wang Chao lost his enthusiasm, and his gaze drifted towards the wall with the pictures. "Did someone hurt you?"

"No." Wang Yue clicked his tongue in frustration, even though he appreciated how protective Wang Chao was. And Wang Chao wasn't even that far off. Staying here had hurt Wang Yue, even though it hadn't been Ling Zhu's intention. "A new home with your Da-ge but without the Ayis."

Wang Chao furrowed his brows in confusion, and Wang Yue chewed on his bottom lip while raking a hand through his hair. He hadn't expected this conversation to be so difficult.

"We can always visit the Ayis, but we will only live together with your Da-ge. He will be at our—" It sounded wrong. "We will live at his home," Wang Yue corrected.

Wang Chao nodded, but Wang Yue wasn't sure whether or not he had really understood. Wang Yue could simply leave it at that and hope for the best, but his conscience wouldn't let that happen. He needed to be assured that Wang Chao didn't dislike the idea of moving in with Ling Rui. Desperately, he grabbed Wang Chao's arms and met his gaze.

"Rui-ge, your Da-ge, will have a new home soon," he repeated his explanation slowly, "and we will live at this home with him. Do you want that?"

"Di! What do you want?"

Too perplexed by the question, Wang Yue only stared at his brother with parted lips. It wasn't important what he wanted. It was only important what Wang Chao wanted — and what Wang Yue could afford.

Wang Chao grabbed Wang Yue's arms in return.

"Di, do you like a home with Da-ge?"

"Yes," Wang Yue whispered, his mind still not catching up.

"Good!" Wang Chao clapped his hands. "Home with Da-ge!" He nodded.

It sounded like Wang Chao finally understood what Wang Yue had tried to tell him. But why did it suddenly feel like Wang Chao had asked for Wang Yue's consent and not the other way around?

"Can I play?"

"Huh?" Wang Yue blinked, still lost in his thoughts. "Yeah, sure." He let go of Wang Chao's arms.

Laughing, Wang Chao walked towards his toy box and sat down on the floor to play with his building blocks.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Wang Yue took out his phone and opened his chat with Ling Rui. 

WY [9:37 am]:
I talked to him. It's fine. 

To his surprise, he immediately saw that Ling Rui was typing a reply. Anxiously, Wang Yue stared at his phone and waited.

LR [9:38 am]:
Perfect! It looks like I'll finally have a day off tomorrow. We can discuss details and start looking for flats then.

WY [9:38 am]:
Okay.

Everything was happening so fast. Sure, Wang Yue would appreciate knowing where he was going to live in the near future and how much it would cost, but he wasn't used to so much change. In the last few years, before meeting Ling Rui, Wang Yue's life had always been the same — day in, day out. The thought of living in a new flat together with his brother and Ling Rui still seemed so surreal.

Wang Yue was startled when his phone suddenly buzzed with another message.

LR [9:39 am]:
Did you have breakfast?

WY [9:39 am]:
Not yet.

LR [9:40 am]:
Can I help somehow? Do you

Frowning, Wang Yue stared at his phone. He didn’t know how Ling Rui was supposed to help him from afar, nor what to make out of these last two words. Had Ling Rui accidentally sent the message too soon? But he wasn't typing anymore either. He couldn't be mad, could he? 

Before Wang Yue could drift off into negative thoughts, he received a string of messages from Peng Bo.

PB [9:41 am]:
Ling Rui was just called away by a nurse because of an emergency. 

PB [9:41 am]:
He rushed out of the office while yelling that I should text you.

PB [9:42 am]:
Uh, hi! :)

PB [9:42 am]:
What am I supposed to text you? What were you talking about?

Wang Yue exhaled in relief. Ling Rui had only rushed off for work. That made sense.

WY [9:42 am]:
It's fine.

WY [9:43 am]:
Thx for letting me know he's busy now.

PB [9:43 am]:
Hmm... alright. But you know you can always talk to me! 

PB [9:43 am]:
And I'll stick to my promise and try to take more pictures of Ling Rui for you! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

WY [9:44 am]:
Thanks.

Wang Yue stared at his phone. He rarely liked people, but Peng Bo was a nice guy. Sometimes, Wang Yue had to be careful to not get too casual or be too pushy. After all, Peng Bo wasn't his friend — he was Ling Rui's friend. Wang Yue shouldn't bother him too much.

His eyes drifted towards the kitchen. He should probably have breakfast, but maybe he should make himself useful beforehand and look for flats. That sounded like a reasonable decision. He scooted over on the couch until he sat sideways, his legs resting on the couch to avoid straining his knee. Ling Rui had told him to take it easy today, and Wang Yue intended to listen as best as he could. From his position, Wang Yue had a good view of his brother, playing with his building blocks. 

Wang Yue opened an app and started to look for flats. He had no idea what Ling Rui had in mind, but together they had a higher budget than Wang Yue had on his own. Raking his teeth over his bottom lip, Wang Yue pondered how high the rent should be. It would be perfect if he didn't have to pay more than he used to. They hadn't talked about how to split the rent yet, but it would only be fair if Ling Rui paid one-third and Wang Yue paid two-thirds — for him and his brother. Wang Yue nodded. That sounded fine. Ling Rui shouldn't have any objections to that. 

Therefore, Wang Yue started to look for flats with 1.5 times the rent that he used to pay. Now that his budget was higher, his search results should be more promising than yesterday.

They weren't.

Reality quickly crashed down on Wang Yue.

He found some flats with that budget close-by, but they were too rundown for Ling Rui. Wang Yue sighed. Maybe he needed to relax his search criteria. They hadn't even talked about which part of the city they wanted to move to. Ling Rui probably wanted a flat that was close to the hospital. He often worked overtime lately, so a home close to his workplace would at least save him some time. It would mean Wang Yue would have to travel a longer way to work, but that was fine. Wang Yue was used to driving anyway. It wouldn't matter if he returned home later. 

Wang Yue changed his search radius, but unfortunately, it didn't help much. He wasn't very picky as long as he found something with two rooms so he could place Wang Chao's bed in a different room —so he and Ling Rui could have privacy when fucking— but those flats looked small and shabby. It was good enough for Wang Yue, but Ling Rui wouldn't be content with it. When Ling Rui had lived with Lu Fangning, he had gotten used to luxury. Wang Yue still remembered the photos Ling Rui had shown him once. It looked like the flat right out of a luxury furniture magazine — which probably shouldn't be a surprise given Fangning's job as a general manager of a home furniture corporation. 

Wang Yue groaned. How was he ever supposed to compete with that? Furthermore, what if Ling Rui wanted a room for himself? He had been annoyed by his mother lately, so Wang Yue wouldn't be surprised if Ling Rui became annoyed by him, too, after living together for a few days. Ling Rui needed his own bedroom — and maybe also a room to do some paperwork at home? He currently had a desk in his bedroom, too.

"Di, let's drink!" 

"Huh?" Perplexed, Wang Yue raised his head. Wang Chao stood next to him, holding Wang Yue's smoothie and his water bottle. "Ah, yeah." He accepted the smoothie and took a sip.

"Drink more!"

Wang Yue was about to listen to his brother to avoid worrying him when he remembered his conversation with Ling Rui last night. No one had the right to push him, even if they meant well. Wang Yue was allowed to say no.

"Later," Wang Yue replied. Nervously, he pressed his lips together, his heart beating quickly. He wasn't used to objecting to his brother.

To his surprise, Wang Chao only laughed and walked back to his toys. After sitting down, he drank his water, Wang Yue and his smoothie forgotten.

Wang Yue sighed in relief and picked up his phone again. Maybe he shouldn't limit his search results to his budget for now but just search for a nice flat for Ling Rui. If it wasn't that much more expensive, Wang Yue might be able to scrape together the money.

It was futile.

He found some nice flats that should meet the high standard Ling Rui deserved, but Wang Yue wouldn't ever be able to afford them. Wang Yue wished he had more money to spoil his brother and Ling Rui. 

Driven by that thought, he ended up looking for an additional job again, only to get frustrated as he was faced by the same hopeless results as yesterday.

"My head hurts," Wang Yue eventually mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. How much time had he spent unsuccessfully looking for jobs and flats? As if on cue, his stomach rumbled, and Wang Yue realized that it was already around noon. Hadn't he wanted to eat more again? He probably shouldn't skip lunch after already skipping breakfast. But he wasn't in the mood to eat. First, he needed to clear his mind. 

Wang Yue sat up, his feet touching the ground. He wanted nothing more than to go running and get away from his thoughts, but Ling Rui had told him to take it easy today because of his knee. Wang Yue groaned. How was he supposed to stick to all his good resolutions at the same time? It was too much. Pondering, he sucked his bottom lip onto his mouth, tracing it with his tongue. Maybe he could at least work out without straining his knee. 

Even before he had finished his thought, his body had already moved on its own. Wang Yue got down on the floor and started to do push-ups. He felt the tension in his knee after a while, but it was nothing compared to how much his arm muscles were burning, his whole core trembling as he tried to keep up his body tension. Wang Chao took delight in placing his toys on Wang Yue's back, watching them go up and down whenever Wang Yue moved, laughing when they suddenly slipped down and fell to the floor. 

It hadn't been Wang Yue's intention to entertain his brother, but he didn't mind.

When his arms eventually gave in and he had to admit defeat to exhaustion, Wang Yue turned around and flopped down on his back. He was still breathing heavily when he started to do sit-ups. Wang Chao whined when he realized that placing his toys on Wang Yue wasn't entertaining anymore, but he simply returned to piling up his building bricks on the living room floor. 

Wang Yue didn't know how long he worked out, closing his eyes as his abs strained and protested in pain every time he sat up again. It was a soothing exhaustion. Pushing himself to the limit required Wang Yue's whole attention, his thoughts focused on doing another sit-up and another and another.

"Di, I'm hungry!" Wang Chao eventually complained, and Wang Yue flopped down on the floor, arms spread wide. His chest was rising and falling quickly as he tried to catch his breath, his shirt sticking to his sweaty torso. 

Wang Yue groaned as he forced himself to sit up, his abs trembling from exhaustion. The world seemed to sway for a moment, but after taking some deep breaths, everything returned to normal. He hadn't overdone it. Everything was fine. After two attempts, he managed to get up, staggering as he lost his balance for a second. He was fine. If he only told himself often enough, his body might start to believe it.

"Sit down at the table," Wang Yue told his brother.

Meanwhile, he went to the kitchen and pondered what to do. Ling Rui had told him last night —and wrote on his note— that Wang Yue was allowed to take whatever he wanted, but for some reason, Wang Yue still struggled. He didn't want to inconvenience or displease anyone by taking the food they had looked forward to. 

His eyes fell on the leftover congee. This should be fine. No one would miss such a simple meal, right? And Ling Rui had offered it in his note, too. He added a little bit of water and turned on the stove to reheat it. After getting spoiled for two days, Wang Chao might not be pleased to get leftovers for lunch, but it was still a decent, warm meal. It was more than Wang Yue could provide on some days.

His stomach rumbled and tensed. It hurt.

Wang Yue sighed. He also needed lunch. Hesitantly, he looked at the fridge before finally opening it. It was filled to the brim with vegetables, fruits, yogurt, cheese, eggs, meat, and more.

It was overwhelming.

Wang Yue closed it again. How was he ever supposed to choose something from there? Needing some distance, he left the kitchen and spotted Ling Rui's note on the table. He read it again, and his lips parted in surprise. How could he forget about the oatmeal? 

He returned to the kitchen and opened the upper cabinet. There were two packages of oatmeal — one half-empty, one full. Nobody should mind if he took some of those. There would still be enough left if someone else wanted to eat them today. 

Carefully, Wang Yue opened the fridge again and found three bottles of milk — more than enough for him to take some without getting a bad conscience.

As he reached for the milk, he smelled something burning and his eyes snapped to the stove.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, quickly turning it off. He pulled the pot from the stove, cursing again as he almost burned his fingers. 

He opened the lid and desperately searched for a spoon. After finding one in a drawer, he stirred the congee. Some parts were a bit brown, clinging to the bottom of the pot, but it should still be well enough to eat. But why was it so hot already? He had only turned on the stove a moment ago. Frowning, Wang Yue stared at it, taking in the modern design and the digital clock with red digits. 

"Oh," he mumbled as realization suddenly dawned on him. This stove probably heated up faster than the old cooking plate he used at home. Wang Yue sighed. He should have considered that. 

He searched for a bowl and filled the congee into it. It looked a bit pathetic with the slightly burned parts and without any toppings, but it was all he could offer. 

"Here," Wang Yue mumbled as he placed the bowl in front of his brother. "Be careful. It's still hot." He had stirred it enough to mix the hot part at the bottom with the cold part on the top, but one could never be too careful.

Once Wang Chao was slowly eating without burning himself, Wang Yue returned to the kitchen to get some oatmeal and milk for himself. Afterwards, he sat down at the dining table as well. 

Wang Yue had just intended to take the first bite when his phone buzzed. Putting down his spoon, he took his phone out of his pocket.

LR [1:07 pm]:
Sorry for leaving so suddenly, Xiao Yue. There was an emergency.

WY [1:07 pm]:
It's fine.

Wang Yue almost dropped his phone right into his bowl when it suddenly rang.

"Yes?" he asked after picking up. Why was Ling Rui suddenly calling him? Had something happened?

"Hi," Ling Rui said, sounding awkward.

"Hi," Wang Yue returned, perplexed.

"Sorry for calling out of the blue." Ling Rui groaned, his voice suddenly turning muffled as if he buried his face somewhere. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"He's really needy and whiny today!" Peng Bo yelled in the background.

"Be quiet!" Ling Rui hissed without any real malice.

Wang Yue snorted and lifted a spoon full of oatmeal. Ling Rui was just too cute. After taking a deep breath, Wang Yue put the spoon into his mouth. "Is he right?" he asked while chewing.

"Oh!" Ling Rui sounded alert before his voice grew soft. "Are you having lunch?"

Wang Yue swallowed and licked his lips. He was a bit disappointed that Ling Rui had ignored his question. "Late breakfast?" he asked carefully, unable to lie to Ling Rui.

"Oh," Ling Rui said, sounding a bit disappointed. 

"Sorry."

"No, no. It's okay!" Ling Rui exclaimed. "I hope mum isn't bothering you too much today."

"She went out this morning to meet some friends."

"Oh, I see. That's nice. Is she back yet?"

Wang Yue shook his head before remembering that Ling Rui couldn't see him. "Nah. I'm alone with my brother."

Whatever Ling Rui wanted to reply got lost in his loud yawn.

"Tired?"

"Mmn," Ling Rui hummed in confirmation.

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, pushing his oatmeal back and forth with his spoon. "I kept you up again last night."

"It's fine," Ling Rui reassured him. "I'm just a bit tired."

"You're drinking coffee!" Peng Bo yelled in the background. "Coffee!"

"Stop listening in on my private conversation!" Ling Rui complained, and Peng Bo laughed loudly. 

But Wang Yue wasn't in the mood to laugh. He knew that Ling Rui preferred tea and only resorted to drinking coffee when being especially tired. Tonight, Wang Yue would be as quiet as possible to avoid waking Ling Rui up again. 

"Couldn't get much sleep with your sexy boyfriend lying right next to you all night, huh?" Peng Bo joked in the background, and Wang Yue could imagine him smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. "Or lying above you? Or under you?"

Ling Rui yelped, embarrassed, even though they hadn't fucked last night. "We just talked!"

"Sure, sure." Peng Bo chuckled. "Talking with your bodies, hm?" 

A long, drawn-out groan escaped Ling Rui's throat. "I wish," he mumbled.

"Wait, what?" Peng Bo sounded taken aback. "You really didn't—"

"When?!" Ling Rui exclaimed as if it were Peng Bo's fault for not knowing. "We have different work schedules and live together with four relatives!"

"Sheesh. Talk about getting cock-blocked," Peng Bo mumbled almost too quietly for Wang Yue to hear.

"Sorry," Wang Yue murmured, putting down his spoon. He really wasn't in the mood to eat anymore.

"It's not your fault, Xiao Yue." Ling Rui sighed.

"You need a break, bro," Peng Bo said. "I'll go and leave you alone with your boyfriend." He clicked his tongue, and even without seeing him Wang Yue knew that Peng Bo was making finger guns. "Time for a phone sex quickie!"

Ling Rui groaned. 

Wang Yue listened to the sound of footsteps and a door opening and closing. "Are you okay?" he asked once it was silent on the other end of the line.

"I miss you," Ling Rui whined.

"I miss you, too," Wang Yue whispered. It wasn't his style to be clingy, but he could admit that much for once, couldn't he?

"I just wanna go home and cook, and cuddle you, and then—"

"Doctor Ling?" a breathless voice called out in the background. "Doctor Yang needs you in room 402. Emergency!"

"Sorry, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui said quickly. "We'll talk later. Enjoy your meal!" 

Before Wang Yue could reply, Ling Rui had already hung up. Perplexed, Wang Yue stared at his phone. Was this what their whole life would be like? Constantly missing each other due to their different work schedules? Sighing, Wang Yue stared at his oatmeal. It looked utterly soaked through by now, and Wang Yue's appetite was gone. He picked up his spoon and forced down another bite, but immediately felt nauseous. Pressing a hand against his mouth, he dropped the spoon and pushed the bowl away. 

"More food?" Wang Chao asked excitedly. He grabbed the bowl and looked at Wang Yue. His congee was already eaten up.

"Yeah," Wang Yue mumbled. "You can eat it if you want."

Happily, Wang Chao stuffed a spoon full of oatmeal into his mouth. 

If only Wang Yue shared his brother's appetite. He sighed. How much had he eaten? Two spoons full, or maybe three? Did that even count as a full meal? Probably not. Wang Yue sighed. He had failed.

He watched his brother happily eating, hoping it might reawaken his appetite, but it didn't. Wang Yue only felt sick.

Notes:

Ling Bad Timing Rui. That's his new full name now.

Also, I love Peng Bo. I need more Peng Bo in my fics.

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Chapter 13: Self-confidence (Thursday, April 1st)

Summary:

After Wang Yue spent the morning alone with his brother, the Ling family returns home.

Notes:

A short chapter without Ling Rui.

4,6k words

Once Wang Chao was done eating, Wang Yue took the bowls back to the kitchen. When the front door opened, he held his breath and only sighed in relief when he realized that it was Ling Yunzhi and not Ling Zhu. 

"Welcome back," he greeted, trying to be polite.

"Thank you," Ling Yunzhi replied, taking off her shoes and coat. She was carrying a white plastic bag with takeout. "Oh, did you already have lunch?" 

"I guess," Wang Yue replied vaguely, putting their dishes into the sink — not like he had eaten much. 

"More food!" Wang Chao exclaimed excitedly as Ling Yunzhi placed the bag on the table.

"You've had enough," Wang Yue said, even though it was always difficult to deny his brother anything. "You'll get a stomachache if you eat even more."

Pouting, Wang Chao stomped his feet on the ground.

"Hey." Wang Yue walked over and pulled the bag further away when Wang Chao tried to reach for it. "Be good, okay?" 

Without replying, Wang Chao walked back to his toys and sat down on the floor. He crossed his arms and pouted.

Wang Yue sighed. "Sorry about that."

"Don't mention it," Ling Yunzhi replied. "Feel free to take some of those whenever you want." She nodded towards the bag before vanishing into the bathroom.

Driven by an unusual curiosity, Wang Yue opened the plastic bag and then peeked into one of the paper bags inside of it. The scent of fresh steamed buns drifted to his nose. They were still warm. When Wang Yue's stomach rumbled, he quickly closed the bags again and hurried to the kitchen. He couldn't eat that now. Ignoring his clenching stomach, he started to clean the bowls and pot. 

When Ling Yunzhi returned from the bathroom, she sat down at the dining table. Wang Yue heard the plastic and paper bag rustling, subconsciously licking his lips. Once again, the delicious smell of steamed buns drifted to his nose — or maybe he just imagined it. Trying to think about something else, he focused on doing the dishes. It took a while until he had freed the bottom of the pot from the burnt congee, but somehow, he managed. Once he was done, he dried everything and put the bowls back in the cabinet, the spoon in the drawer, and —after struggling and searching— the pot back in the other cabinet where it seemed to belong.

Ling Yunzhi was still sitting at the dining table, slowly chewing on a bun while browsing through a magazine. Awkwardly, Wang Yue hesitated and stood in the kitchen. Would it be impolite to sit back down on the couch? Maybe he should join her at the table and offer some company. But she was busy reading and Wang Yue really didn't want to disturb her.

After pondering for another moment, he fetched his smoothie and joined her at the table. He had walked slowly to avoid aggravating his knee. Taking out his phone, he intended to look for flats again. Even though they hadn't talked to Ling Rui's family yet, Ling Yunzhi shouldn't get suspicious if she caught a glimpse of his screen. After all, his flat was damaged. There was nothing wrong about looking for alternatives.

His stomach rumbled.

Without looking, Ling Yunzhi pushed the bag closer to Wang Yue, silently offering him a steamed bun. His mouth was watering, but he quickly shook his head.

"I can't," he whispered.

She paused reading and looked up. "Why not?"

Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip, unsure how to explain it. But Ling Yunzhi was a lot like Ling Rui, so maybe she would understand him no matter how he phrased it. "I can't eat after telling my brother not to eat."

"But you only told him that because he already had enough lunch, right?"

Had it been enough? Suddenly, Wang Yue wasn't so sure anymore. Who was he to know how much food was appropriate? Wang Chao had eaten more than usual for lunch, but who knew if Wang Yue hadn't unknowingly given his brother too meager meals for years? Maybe Wang Chao was always hungry and not well-fed because Wang Yue's portions were too small?

"Whatever you're thinking — stop."

"What?" Blinking, Wang Yue looked at Ling Yunzhi. Her eyes were narrowed and her voice was strict.

"I can see you spiraling into negative thoughts," she explained, and Wang Yue swallowed hard. Was he that easy to read? "Don't overthink." 

His stomach rumbled. 

"There's no reason to torture yourself."

Wang Yue wanted to protest and say that he wasn't torturing himself, but somehow, he failed to speak up.

"Do you like steamed buns?"

"I eat everything," he mumbled.

"That's great." A placid smile graced her face for a second before she looked serious again. "And do you like steamed buns?" Even though Ling Yunzhi had repeated her question, Wang Yue didn't feel pushed for an answer. Patiently, she reached into another one of the paper bags, taking out another bun. Did they have different fillings?

"Yeah," Wang Yue admitted in a whisper.

"Have you ever tried Ling Rui's homemade buns?" Ling Yunzhi asked, a fond smile on her lips now that she couldn't suppress. "The boy is a great cook in general, but his steamed buns are the best."

It was rare to hear such high praise from Ling Yunzhi.

"Don't tell him I said that," she mumbled, averting her eyes.

Wang Yue shook his head. "I've never tried them." He hadn't had many chances in general to taste Ling Rui's cooking since they were often too busy to meet. 

Ling Yunzhi sighed. "That boy really needs to learn to take better care of his partner."

"It's fine," Wang Yue immediately defended Ling Rui. "We're both busy."

"He's too busy," Ling Yunzhi retorted, angrily taking another bite. After chewing and swallowing, she added, "he's lucky you're so kind-hearted."

"He's more kind-hearted than me," Wang Yue replied. 

"Oh yeah? You're having a hard time with that water damage to your flat and everything, and what does he do?" She clicked her tongue. "Nothing but working overtime."

"He cooked for me last night," Wang Yue blurted out.

"Did he?" Ling Yunzhi asked, looking surprised.

Wang Yue hummed. "And he took care of my knee — like the night before." Groaning, Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip, overcome by guilt. "He's skipping too much sleep for me."

"No," Ling Yunzhi replied, smiling contentedly. "He's doing the right thing." 

"Hm?"

"You're feeling better today, aren't you?"

Wang Yue didn't like Ling Yunzhi's knowing smile, but there was no way to hide from her. He didn't know whether or not she was right. The whole living situation still made Wang Yue miserable, but talking to Ling Rui last night had lifted some of his burdens. "Maybe," Wang Yue mumbled, rubbing his thumb over the edge of his phone. "But he's feeling worse now. He's stressed, worried, and sleep-deprived." And at least two —if not all— of these things were Wang Yue's fault.

"He's working too much." Ling Yunzhi took another bite from her bun, and Wang Yue hated how his eyes drifted towards it. Since when was he so envious of food? He opened his bottle and took a large gulp from his smoothie to distract himself and fill his stomach. Ling Yunzhi observed his every movement. "I'm surprised he hasn't snapped and broken down yet. But maybe he's pulling himself together for you. He tends to keep things to himself to avoid worrying people he cares about. He's always been like that."

Wang Yue frowned. Now that he thought about it, he realized that it had been a while since he had seen Ling Rui cry. When they had first met, Ling Rui had cried a lot. He wasn't afraid to show his emotions —even though he quickly got embarrassed— and usually didn't refrain from crying to sort out his feelings. Was it a good or a bad sign that he hadn't cried in front of Wang Yue despite all the stress lately? Maybe Ling Rui had cried at night on his own before Wang Yue returned from work? Or he hadn't cried at all. "It's not good if he bottles everything up, is it?" Wang Yue mumbled. Not like he was one to talk. 

"It isn't." Ling Yunzhi sighed. "But at least he has you." 

She smiled, and Wang Yue felt utterly unable to cope with that statement. He was barely even by Ling Rui's side if one didn't count the hours they slept. And even if he was by Ling Rui's side for a brief moment, Wang Yue only made it worse. He knew Ling Rui was stressed and worn-out but had no idea how to help him. He had thought sex would be the solution, but that had gone horribly wrong three nights ago. And last night, Wang Yue had vented and whined instead of providing a sympathetic ear for Ling Rui's worries. He was a bad boyfriend. Placing his phone on the table, he stared into the distance. 

"He talks about you a lot," Ling Yunzhi mentioned all of a sudden. "Not lately because he's too busy and stressed to talk about anything, but in general." Wang Yue turned his attention back to her, but her eyes were on her bun, inspecting the filling as she spread the bun open with her thumbs. "He never talked that much about Lu Fangning." She snorted. "He never talked that much about anyone." Her eyes met Wang Yue's, the inside of the bun forgotten. "Have more self-confidence."

Wang Yue took a deep breath. He wanted to have more self-confidence. He used to have more self-confidence. He needed to have more self-confidence — if not for himself than for Ling Rui. "Yeah," he replied. "Okay." Once again, his eyes fell on the bags on the table. He peeked at Ling Yunzhi, and she nodded softly. 

After another deep breath, he dared to reach into one of the paper bags and pulled out a steamed bun. It wasn't hot anymore, but it was still very warm in his palm. Lured by the delicious scent, he took a large bite without hesitation. The savory flavor spread on his tongue, and Wang Yue had to hold back a moan as he realized he had grabbed a bun with pork filling. Those had always been his favorite. He still remembered the second time he had met Ling Rui. Back then, Ling Rui had shared his meal with Wang Yue at the restaurant. Just like Ling Yunzhi, he had asked about Wang Yue's preferences, even though Wang Yue had said that he ate everything. 

Ling Yunzhi continued to eat without saying a word, but Wang Yue didn't miss the smile gracing her face. 

They ate in companionable silence, and Wang Yue even reached for a second bun. He had eaten half of it when the door opened and Ling Zhu and Ling Yazhi returned together. 

"We're back!" Ling Zhu announced happily. "Oh!" Her eyes fell on Wang Yue, and she delightedly clapped her hands together. "You're eating."

Wang Yue swallowed, feeling like the food got stuck in his throat. His appetite vanished within a second.

"Ayi!" Wang Chao exclaimed excitedly, and Ling Zhu walked towards him to ruffle his hair. 

"Aw, there's my favorite boy! Did you have a nice day?"

Wang Chao laughed and nodded happily. Meanwhile, Ling Yazhi only waved tiredly and vanished into the bathroom after fetching some comfortable clothes.

"That's great!" Ling Zhu smiled. "Ayi would love to play with you, but I've gotta prepare dinner on time so I can watch my favorite TV drama. Do you want to watch it with Ayi later? It will be even better than the one we watched yesterday." 

"Yes!" Wang Chao exclaimed happily.

"I thought Rui-ge wanted to cook dinner," Wang Yue mumbled. 

Ling Yunzhi's eyes snapped towards Wang Yue. For some reason, she looked pleasantly surprised. Wang Yue became self-aware when he realized that had let Ling Rui's nickname slip. Or was it because she hadn't expected Wang Yue to talk back to Ling Zhu? 

Ling Zhu, however, wasn't impressed at all as she turned towards Wang Yue and crossed her arms. "Yes, like yesterday and the day before," she said mockingly and huffed. "He's too busy to cook for us."

"But he wanted to come home early and—"

"Like yesterday," Ling Zhu interrupted him again. She rolled up her sleeves and went to the kitchen.

"But isn't cooking his way to relieve stress?" Wang Yue asked, peeking at Ling Yunzhi for help.

Ling Zhu waved her hand in refusal. "He'll be even more stressed if he has to quickly cook dinner before Chao'er goes to bed and you to work."

Wang Yue pressed his lips together to bite back another remark and put his half-eaten bun down. He really couldn't say anything against that argument. 

Ling Zhu sighed. "I should have come home sooner. There's not enough time."

"What's for dinner tonight?" Ling Yunzhi asked.

"Beef stew with vegetables," Ling Zhu mumbled as she opened the fridge and the kitchen cabinets, taking stock. "We've got potatoes, carrots, and onions."

Thoughtfully, Ling Yunzhi hummed. "Even if Ling Rui doesn't work overtime today, beef stew needs too long to simmer. We should take care of it before he comes back." She smiled apologetically at Wang Yue before turning to her sister-in-law. "Should I help?" she asked, already getting up. "I can peel and cut the vegetables."

"No, no, no," Ling Zhu quickly denied. "We can't risk you hurting your fingers. How are you supposed to work then?"

Ling Yunzhi sighed but gave in, rolling her eyes. It looked like they had had that conversation several times before.

"What's your job?" Wang Yue asked, too curious for his own good.

"I'm a Guqin teacher," Ling Yunzhi explained, and Wang Yue looked at her in awe. He knew nothing about music, but the Guqin was a traditional and somehow noble instrument. It fit someone like Ling Yunzhi.
 
"Why is it so late already?" Ling Zhu mumbled while washing the carrots.

"Can I help you?" Wang Yue asked. It wasn't his intention to take Ling Rui's stress relief activity away, but the others were right. There was no guarantee that Ling Rui would return on time today, and Ling Rui getting called because of emergencies the two times Wang Yue had briefly talked to him earlier, didn't give him much hope about Ling Rui arriving on time. Maybe it really was better to prepare dinner now. Wang Chao always got cranky when he had to stay up late, so Wang Yue wanted him to have dinner on time.

"You're not allowed to strain your knee, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu replied.

"I didn't intend to cut the vegetables with my knee," Wang Yue retorted without thinking. 

Ling Zhu paused to look at him in surprise.

"He's got a point," Ling Yunzhi said, looking proud for some reason. Smiling, she stood up and went to the kitchen. "Let the boy help out."

"He's a guest," Ling Zhu replied. "He doesn't have to help!"

"A guest?" Ling Yunzhi repeated, raising an eyebrow, a hand on her hip. "Didn't you say they were family?"

Wang Yue didn't dare to breathe.

"Well, yes, of course they are!" Ling Zhu confirmed. "But—"

"Then let him help if he wants. He can keep sitting to rest his knee while he cuts the vegetables." Ling Yunzhi picked up the ingredients and carried them to the dining table. Afterwards, she turned back around and smiled at Ling Zhu. "Sorry for interrupting you, Zhu'er. What did you want to say?"

Ling Zhu sighed before giving in. "That wasn't my idea if anyone complains."

"Who should complain?" Ling Yunzhi asked, shaking her head. She fetched a cutting board, a knife, and a big bowl. "Peel the potatoes and onions before cutting everything into pieces. Don't worry about the size. It's gonna be cooked for so long that even the big chunks will be soft in the end."

"Got it," Wang Yue said, even though he was afraid to mess this up. Fresh vegetables were expensive so he didn't have much experience cooking them. Furthermore, he had gotten leftover food from the restaurant for years, leaving him with no reason to cook on his own. 

"I'll take care of the meat," Ling Zhu announced. "Thanks for the help, Xiao Yue."

"You're welcome." He meant it. He felt less like a parasite when actually doing something to help Ling Rui's family during his stay here. 

As he started peeling the onion, Ling Yazhi returned from the bathroom and flopped down on the couch. She turned on the television.

"Is it already time?" Ling Zhu asked, her voice filled with panic.

"Nah," Ling Yazhi replied tersely. 

Wang Yue wondered if something had happened or if she was just exhausted from work. He didn't dare to ask. Usually, he wasn't interested in other people, but this was Ling Rui's family. Wang Yue felt like he had to care. And deep down, he was still afraid that his presence was bothering them. Maybe Ling Yazhi was tired and wanted to sleep in her own bed again instead of on the couch. Wang Yue chewed on his bottom lip as he peeled the next onion. He needed to find a new flat quickly — with or without Ling Rui. The sooner he got out of here, the better. 

A moment later, he regretted his thought. He didn't want to move out alone. Now that Ling Rui had suggested moving in together, Wang Yue couldn't help but crave it, even though he was afraid he would get on Ling Rui's nerves. It was the same as about half a year ago when Wang Yue had met Ling Rui and quickly fallen in love with him. Wang Yue had known that they lived in different worlds and wouldn't be together forever — or at all. Losing Ling Rui after having him once would only hurt more, but Wang Yue still couldn't help but reach for that sliver of happiness. Ling Rui didn't love him —and Wang Yue hadn't confessed his love— but at least Ling Rui liked him enough to date him for some reason. If Ling Rui also liked him enough to move in with him for a while, then Wang Yue couldn't help but go for it. He was like a moth getting drawn to a flame, unable to resist even though he knew he would get burned in the end.

But maybe he could delay the inevitable.

With their different work schedules, they wouldn't see each other often, even if they lived together. It sounded depressing, but maybe it was more of a blessing than a curse. If they didn't spend much time together, Ling Rui might bear with Wang Yue a bit longer.

Ling Yunzhi cleared her throat, and Wang Yue reflexively looked at her. Silently, she mouthed something that looked like self-confidence.

Groaning, Wang Yue turned his attention back to his vegetables. Ling Yunzhi was too powerful with her ability to read minds. Wang Yue made a mental note to never underestimate her.

When Wang Yue was done peeling the onions, Wang Chao walked over. First, he looked at the remaining half-eaten bun lying on the table and then at Wang Yue. Since Wang Yue's appetite was gone and he couldn't refuse his brother again, he nodded. Happily, Wang Chao grabbed the bun and stuffed it into his mouth, some crumbs falling to the table that Wang Chao greedily picked up. Wang Yue sighed. His brother used to have better manners. Still chewing, Wang Chao walked to the little aquarium and observed the fish. With how much he loved his picture book, it wasn't a surprise that he had taken a liking to them.

Wang Yue reached for the knife and cut the onion into uneven halves. Even though Ling Yunzhi had told him not to worry about the size of the pieces, Wang Yue wasn't sure how to cut them. They should at least be small enough to be eaten with one bite, right? Wang Yue could do that much. He had cut things often enough for his brother.

He finished cutting the onions —his eyes tearing up— when Ling Zhu stepped up to the table with her hands on her hips and a scrutinizing expression on her face. Wang Yue felt like getting judged and held his breath. Fortunately, she quickly nodded and smiled.

"Just put the vegetables in the pot once you're done," she said, pointing towards the pot on the stove. "The meat has to simmer for at least one and a half hours to be tender and juicy anyway."

"Okay." That meant he didn't have to rush, right? Vegetables never needed to cook that long. 

Ling Zhu hurried over to the couch. "I'm so excited for today's episode." She patted the place beside her. "Come here, Chao'er. It's time to watch TV with your Ayis."

Wang Chao hesitated for a moment before he tore his eyes away from the aquarium. As he ran to the couch, he almost tripped over his building blocks. Wang Yue sighed, making a mental note to clean up after him later.

Ling Yunzhi also joined the others on the couch, and Wang Yue was glad that everyone's attention was on the television and not on him. He felt more relaxed. 

Quietly, Wang Yue cut the carrots, enjoying how much Wang Chao relished watching this television drama with the others. They always laughed and gasped and cheered at the same time. Wang Yue didn't pay much attention to the plot until the Ling sisters suddenly all made a sound of displeasure.

"Have you ever seen someone looking so displeased after receiving a love confession?" Ling Yunzhi asked.

"Ling Rui," Ling Zhu and Ling Yazhi replied in sync, and Wang Yue dropped the carrot he had just picked up. What were they talking about?

"You should have seen his face, Da-jie!" Ling Yazhi explained, turning away from the television to put her whole attention on her big sister. "I picked him up after work once and walked in on that nurse talking to him. I immediately sensed that something important was going on, so I patiently waited at a safe distance."

"You eavesdropped," Ling Yunzhi concluded.

"I looked out for my precious nephew!" Ling Yazhi retorted, putting a hand on her chest as if swearing that her actions had purely been of a noble nature. "Anyway, that nurse blushed and stuttered before telling Ling Rui that she loved him!"

Wang Yue felt sick. He didn't know how far in the past this event lay, but he was sure it happened more often than not. Ling Rui was popular. 

"We all know that Ling Rui is always polite. He kept a neutral but friendly expression throughout their whole conversation, but after her confession, he contorted his face," Ling Yazhi said, grimacing as if trying to imitate Ling Rui's expression. "I've never seen him looking so disgusted before! Not even that one time when he found the moldy grapes sticking to the bottom back corner of the fridge."

Wang Yue bit down on his bottom lip so hard that it hurt. He couldn't imagine Ling Rui reacting so extremely, but why should Ling Yazhi lie? If Wang Yue ever confessed his true feelings to Ling Rui and was met with such a disgusted expression, Wang Yue's heart would shatter into a million pieces. He would never recover from that. 

"It was the same with Fangning," Ling Zhu suddenly said, turning towards Ling Yunzhi. "When they were still newly married —or fake-married at that time— she told me that she confessed her feelings several times, but Ling Rui never believed her and looked more displeased and mad every time. They even fought about it — yelling at each other and everything. Can you believe it? My son — yelling!"

Ling Yunzhi kept her poker face, but Ling Yazhi gasped. "No way!"

"I'm serious!" Ling Zhu replied, turning her attention towards Ling Yazhi. "I even witnessed it once. They were here and Fangning clung to his arm, saying, I love you, husband, but Ling Rui only grimaced and told her to save it, saying that he wasn't interested in her lies. He got really mad."

Ling Yazhi gasped again, pressing both hands against her mouth. "He really doesn't deal well with love, does he?"

The moment Wang Yue felt Ling Zhu and Ling Yazhi turning their heads towards him, he quickly picked up a potato. Trembling, he started to peel it, feeling their gazes and attention on him. What were they thinking? Did they pity him because they thought he had been on the receiving end of Ling Rui's disgust, too? Well, good thing that Wang Yue knew his place and had thought ahead. He wouldn't confess his love to Ling Rui — at least not until Ling Rui confessed his feelings first. Wang Yue sometimes had a self-destructive nature and could be reckless and greedy when it came to Ling Rui, but even he wouldn't run into an open knife like that. 

"Can we stop gossiping and continue watching now?" Ling Yunzhi asked, and the other two turned their attention back to the screen. Wang Yue inhaled deeply. 

"I'm watching!" Wang Chao exclaimed.

"Wait, what did we miss?" Ling Yazhi asked, furrowing her brows.

"She realized she's pregnant," Ling Yunzhi said, nodding towards the television.

"No way!" Ling Yazhi gasped again. All the tiredness she had shown after work had vanished as soon as she had started watching that show. 

"How lovely," Ling Zhu said, followed by a sigh. "Her mother is so lucky. I wish I had grandchildren, too."

"Really?" Ling Yazhi asked.

"Of course!" Ling Zhu replied. "Just imagine Ling Rui, cuddling a cute little child." She sighed fondly. "He'd be such a great dad."

"Drop it," Ling Yunzhi said.

"But I want grandchildren!" Ling Zhu retorted. "At least let me dream, okay? A little girl or a little boy — or maybe both. They can stay with us while Ling Rui goes to work. I would take good care of them and spoil them all day." 

"Oh no!" Ling Yazhi suddenly exclaimed, her eyes back on the screen. "She doesn't know who the father is! She had two guys!"

Gasping, Ling Zhu looked at the television, her potential grandchildren forgotten.

But Wang Yue couldn't forget. He could only feel guilty that Ling Zhu would never get her grandchildren as long as Ling Rui dated him. Why did Wang Yue always fail to make people happy? He only always made everything worse. It really sucked to be him. 

Sullenly, he peeled and cut the potatoes, ignoring the others as best as possible. He wasn't in the mood to deal with people anymore. It hurt too much. 

Once he was done, he put the vegetables in the pot on the stove like instructed and cleaned up the table. He was in the mood to go running again, but he had promised himself to stick to his word and follow Ling Rui's instructions. He would take it easy today. For a moment, he pondered hiding in Ling Rui's bedroom, but he didn't want to be impolite, shutting himself off as if he didn't care about the others. 

Morosely, he sat back down at the table and took out his phone, looking for flats. 

His mood only went downhill after that.

 

Notes:

Guess what's gonna happen later that day/next chapter. Hehe :D

Reblog on Mastodon.

Chapter 14: Only meant well (Thursday, April 1st)

Summary:

Ling Rui returns home for a family dinner, but things don't go as smoothly as planned.

Notes:

This is one of my favorite chapters.

9k words

Around half past four, the front door suddenly opened and Ling Rui stepped inside. Thinking that he had fallen asleep and was only dreaming, Wang Yue stared at him with wide eyes.

"You're back early," Ling Zhu said, sounding as surprised as Wang Yue felt. 

"I told you I'd return on time to cook dinner," Ling Rui said with a hint of annoyance that his voice usually didn't carry. But his eyes only stayed on his mother for a second. Smiling, he walked up to Wang Yue, leaned down, and kissed him. "Hi, Xiao Yue," he whispered, his breath hot against Wang Yue's lips. His hands were on the table and the backrest of Wang Yue's chair as he continued to stay in Wang Yue's personal space. 

Perplexed, Wang Yue blinked, his brain non-functioning for a moment as warmth surged through his whole body. 

"Ooh," Ling Yazhi cooed from the couch, followed by a giggle. "Look at the little lovebirds!"

"How was your day?" Ling Rui asked Wang Yue, ignoring his aunt. The circles under his eyes were even darker than yesterday.

"I—" 

"Don't worry, son," Ling Zhu said, interrupting Wang Yue's reply. "I already made dinner."

In an instant, the smile fell from Ling Rui's lips. He stayed where he was but turned his head away from Wang Yue to look at Ling Zhu. "Ma." Ling Rui's voice sounded strained as if he needed all of his self-control to refrain from getting angry. "Why? I told you this morning that I wanted to cook dinner." 

"I thought you would be late again! You've always been late these past few days." Ling Zhu huffed. "These past few weeks!" 

"And I always called to inform you that I wouldn't make it on time." Ling Rui gripped the edge of the table tighter, his knuckles turning white. "Did I call you today?"

He was tense. He was horribly tense. He was so tense that Wang Yue almost didn't dare to breathe. In every other situation, the dominance and power Ling Rui exuded would have been sexy, but right now, it was frightening. It felt like Ling Rui's patience hung by a thin thread, strained so much that it threatened to burst any second.

"No, but I had to prepare dinner on time in case you were late again because I wanted to watch my favorite show." Ling Zhu nodded towards the television. "It's a special edition double episode today! Anyway. Be grateful that you don't have to worry about dinner anymore tonight. It just needs to simmer a bit more."

Clicking his tongue, Ling Rui opened his mouth, but before the obvious retort could slip from his lips, he pressed them together. He didn't even manage to force himself to smile. "I'll take a shower," he whispered eventually, leaning back up. His eyes drifted back to Wang Yue. "Will you join me?"

"Oh!" Ling Yazhi's ears perked up, a smirk on her face.

"I already showered this morning," Wang Yue replied, too honest for his own good. Unfortunately, he only realized his mistake when Ling Rui wordlessly stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him, causing everyone to flinch in surprise. 

Shit. 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

That had been the wrong reply, hadn't it? Wang Yue should have gone with him, even though he had already showered today. It would have been a waste of water, but Ling Rui's well-being was more important than that. Maybe Ling Rui was so stressed that he needed an outlet. Maybe he didn't want to shower with Wang Yue but to get blown by him. It had been three days since Ling Rui's last orgasm. Wang Yue didn't even remember when he had had his last orgasm, but that didn't matter now. It never mattered. It only mattered that he had fucked up once again. Groaning, he buried his face in his hands.

"Don't worry, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said. "He's just stressed from work. Let him shower and relax."

Wang Yue appreciated the thought, but her words didn't help. Somehow, it didn't feel so easy. Ling Rui had been too tense — way more tense than usual. Spreading his fingers, Wang Yue peeked through the gaps between them to look at Ling Yunzhi, seeking advice. She was good at reading people and judging their moods. But her eyes were only glued to the bathroom door, her brows furrowed. She looked deep in thought. Was that a good or a bad sign? Wang Yue didn't know.

While Wang Yue pondered whether or not it would be awkward to change his mind and join Ling Rui in the shower after all, Ling Yunzhi suddenly spoke up.

"He forgot to take a change of clothes with him, didn't he?"

Reflexively, Wang Yue stood up. That was his chance. The shower was already running, but Wang Yue could go into the bathroom under the pretense of bringing Ling Rui some fresh clothes and then ask him if he needed something else — like a blowjob. But before Wang Yue could take the first step towards Ling Rui's bedroom, he froze. He didn't know where exactly Ling Rui stored his casual clothes. He had an open wardrobe, but the clothes on the hangers were all more formal. Were his casual clothes in the boxes? What was Ling Rui even in the mood to wear? Wang Yue didn't know what he usually wore at home after a long workday. They had been dating for so long, but usually Ling Rui visited him after work or they met outside on their free days. Furthermore, he didn't have any right to just rummage in Ling Rui's wardrobe, did he?

"What's wrong?" Ling Yunzhi asked when Wang Yue hesitated.

"Ah. I just thought that his wardrobe—" Awkwardly, Wang Yue cleared his throat. "And I don't know—"

"I know where his clothes are," Ling Zhu announced and immediately walked into Ling Rui's bedroom as if she owned the place. Ling Yunzhi sighed in disappointment, and Wang Yue felt like he had messed up again. But was it really alright to intrude on Ling Rui's privacy like that? Chewing on his bottom lip, he watched how Ling Zhu returned from Ling Rui's bedroom, carrying a pile of clothes.

She knocked on the bathroom door twice before opening it without awaiting Ling Rui's reply.

"I brought you some clothes, son."

"Ma!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his voice loud even through the sound of the running shower. "Don't barge in when I'm taking a shower!"

"Oh please. I've seen you naked since the day you were born," Ling Zhu replied. "And it's not like I can see anything anyway with the shower curtain closed. Since when are you so shy?"

"That's not the point!"

"Yes, yes," Ling Zhu mumbled. Walking back out of the room, she closed the door behind her.

"Ma!" Ling Rui's voice was muffled, but Wang Yue could feel the anger seeping through. He shuddered. Maybe it was good that he hadn't brought Ling Rui his clothes. He seemed to be in a bad mood, and Wang Yue didn't intend to make it worse by bothering him. Work must have been even more exhausting than usual, even though Ling Rui hadn't worked overtime today. 

"That boy is too stressed," Ling Zhu mumbled. With her hands on her hips, she walked back to the couch. 

Awkwardly, Wang Yue sat down on his chair again. He picked up his phone but was too restless to look for flats. His eyes drifted back to the bathroom all the time. He picked up his smoothie bottle to take a sip, nervously tracing the lid with his thumb afterwards.

After the shower turned off, it didn't take long until Ling Rui returned, wearing tight black sweatpants and a long white sweatshirt with colorful letters on it. Somehow, it made his long legs look longer, and Wang Yue subconsciously licked his lips. 

Without saying a word, Ling Rui went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He paused, taking stock, before closing it again. Next, he opened one cabinet after the other.

Restlessly, Wang Yue got up —smoothie bottle still in his hand— and walked a step closer. Peeking over the counter, he tried to judge what Ling Rui was doing. 

Ling Rui took several bowls out of a cabinet as if searching for something at the back. Eventually, he pulled out a package of graham crackers. Maybe he was in the mood for a certain snack.

"What's with all the noise, son?" Ling Zhu asked, still watching TV with the others. "What are you doing?"

"Cake," Ling Rui replied tersely.

"Do you need some sugar after all that stress at work?" Ling Zhu reached for the bowl of snacks on the coffee table. "We still have chocolate chip cookies. No need to bake."

"I want to make a cake," Ling Rui replied without looking at her. He opened the fridge and took out cream cheese, butter, and whipping cream.

"It won't be ready on time for dessert anyway," Ling Zhu remarked. "And it's too troublesome to keep an eye on the oven during dinner."

"I'll make a no-bake cake." He opened a cabinet and reached for a big bowl.

"You don't have to go through all that trouble, son." Ling Zhu sighed. "Should I go out and buy some cake for you? It's okay to be picky for once and prefer cake over cookies."

"Ma!" Ling Rui exclaimed, slamming the bowl down on the counter. Wang Chao flinched, worriedly looking towards the kitchen, while the Ling sisters kept their eyes on the television.

"It's not about the cake," Wang Yue said, his heart beating fast as he was afraid whether or not he had gotten that right. "It's about making it." 

"Thank you!" Ling Rui exclaimed, pointing at Wang Yue. He looked agitated yet grateful at the same time. Had Wang Yue finally done something right? 

"Should I help you?" Ling Zhu asked.

"No." Ling Rui clicked his tongue. "Just watch your show."

"You're more important than some TV show, son," Ling Zhu said, already standing up. "Let me help you."

"Ma, no." Ling Rui stepped to the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. "Imagine our kitchen had a door." He pointed at the entrance of the kitchen. "And said door is closed. So whoever is in the living room, stays in the living room. And whoever is in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen." His eyes flicked to Wang Yue. Quickly, he grabbed Wang Yue's wrist and pulled him into the kitchen. 

Wang Yue gasped in surprise. What was he supposed to do here? 

"Got it?" Without awaiting his mother's reply, Ling Rui whipped back around. 

"There's no need to vent your frustrations about work on me," Ling Zhu mumbled, but Ling Rui didn't reply anymore. He turned around to open another cabinet, bumping into Wang Yue.

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized at once, clinging to his smoothie bottle as he reflexively took a step back. He really shouldn't be here. He'd only get in Ling Rui's way.

"Sorry," Ling Rui whispered. "I didn't look where I was going." Just like last night, he grabbed Wang Yue's waist with his big hands, easily lifting him up to sit on the counter. 

Wang Yue felt like a little child, but somehow, he couldn't complain. He liked getting manhandled like that. If Ling Rui just placed him wherever he wanted him to be, Wang Yue wouldn't have to worry about getting in the way. He did worry about whether or not it was okay to talk to Ling Rui, though. He wanted to. But Ling Rui looked so stressed and tense that Wang Yue didn't dare to open his mouth.

"What's wrong?" Ling Rui asked quietly as he inserted the plug of an electric mixer into the socket.

"Hm?"

"You look like you wanted to say something."

Wang Yue took in a sharp breath. Had he been so obvious? He fumbled with the lid of his bottle.

"Do you prefer that one or yesterday's smoothie?"

"This one," Wang Yue blurted out. It was a sincere answer, but maybe he should have thought about it first. What if Ling Rui had put more effort into yesterday's smoothie and wanted Wang Yue to prefer that one?

But Ling Rui smiled softly as he put some butter into a small pot and put it on the stove to melt. "I'm glad you have a preference."

That was what Ling Rui was happy about? Feeling embarrassed for some reason, Wang Yue busied himself by taking a sip from the smoothie. It really was tasty — not too sour but also not too sweet. Ling Rui had gone out of his way to make this smoothie for Wang Yue, but Wang Yue hadn't even managed to stop his family from taking over the cooking he had been looking forward to. Wang Yue had a guilty conscience. 

"Sorry," Wang Yue eventually mumbled.

Frowning, Ling Rui looked at him, holding the package of graham crackers in his hands. "What are you sorry about?"

Restlessly, Wang Yue opened and closed the bottle several times. "I reminded your family that you wanted to make dinner," he whispered quietly enough so the others wouldn't hear him over the TV, "but they explained that beef stew needed too long and wouldn't be done on time if you made it." Sighing, he closed the bottle and placed it on the counter. "It sounded reasonable." He lowered his head and only dared to peek at Ling Rui. "So I helped and cut the vegetables."

"I would have made something else." 

It was such a simple solution that Wang Yue felt stupid for not even considering that option earlier. "Sorry."

"I'm not mad at you," Ling Rui said, but his voice sounded strained. He took a deep breath. "Thank you for speaking up for me when I wasn't here."

Wang Yue shook his head. It hadn't changed anything in the end, so he didn't deserve Ling Rui's gratitude.

While the butter slowly melted in the pot, Ling Rui channeled his excessive energy into smashing the graham crackers into little pieces. Wang Yue watched in awe how crumbs trickled down between Ling Rui's long fingers like sand. His hands looked strong and elegant at the same time. It was mesmerizing. 

Ling Rui quickly measured out some sugar and added it to his bowl together with the melted butter. After stirring it all with a spoon, he reached into the bowl, kneading the mixture with his bare hand. Wang Yue sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he watched Ling Rui's fingers curling and uncurling. Fuck. He really loved Ling Rui's hands. 

"What kind of cake are you making?" Wang Yue finally dared to ask if only to distract himself from his dirty thoughts.

"A peanut butter pie," Ling Rui replied, dumping the crumb mixture onto a pie plate. He spread the mixture up the sides of the plate and pressed it, turning it into an even mass. 

"Sounds horribly sweet," Wang Yue mumbled without thinking.

Ling Rui snorted. "Yes. It's too much sugar to be healthy." He placed the cracker pie crust in the freezer. Noticing Wang Yue's confused frown, Ling Rui mumbled, "It cools down quicker that way than in the fridge." He measured some cream cheese before putting it in a big bowl. "Did you ever eat peanut butter pie?" 

Wang Yue shook his head. "Not that I know." He had eaten some things without knowing what they were called, but he rarely indulged himself and bought cake. And if he bought some, he gave it to Wang Chao. He deserved a sweet treat more. Furthermore, Wang Yue could only afford cheap local products and not expensive special things like cream cheese and graham crackers that probably have been imported. The Ling family really was wealthier than him. 

"You should try it," Ling Rui said while putting several large spoons full of peanut butter into the bowl.

"Even though it's unhealthy?" Wang Yue asked, daring to tease Ling Rui.

"It's delicious," Ling Rui replied with a smile. With a click, he turned on his electric mixer, leaving Wang Yue no chance to reply without yelling to drown out its loud whirring. But Wang Yue didn't need to reply. Seeing Ling Rui smiling was all he had ever wanted.

Content, Wang Yue drank his smoothie while watching how Ling Rui gradually added more ingredients into his bowl, mixing it all together. In the end, Ling Rui took the pie plate out of the freezer and spread the mixture on the pie crust. After sprinkling some chopped peanuts on top, he placed everything back in the freezer. 

He looked more relaxed. Cooking and baking really was Ling Rui's way to relieve stress. It was easier to believe after witnessing it. 

Ling Rui put the dirty dishes into the sink and held out a hand, looking expectant.

Perplexed, Wang Yue followed Ling Rui's line of sight and realized he had drunk his whole smoothie. He handed the empty bottle to Ling Rui, watching how it was placed in the sink as well.

"I can do the dishes later," Ling Zhu called, and Ling Rui immediately tensed again. "Dinner should be ready and our show is over." She turned off the television.

Self-consciously, Wang Yue slipped down from the counter as Ling Zhu entered the kitchen. He wasn't doing anything prohibited, and she must have seen him sitting there the whole time, but somehow Wang Yue felt awkward being so casual and relaxed in her presence.

"I'll set the table," Ling Rui said as Ling Zhu walked to the stove to check the beef stew. 

"I can help you," Wang Yue mumbled, suddenly feeling the urge to make himself useful. Ling Rui wouldn't mind if Wang Yue took over some of his tasks, would he? The baking should have helped to relieve his stress. But on the other hand, Ling Rui's lips were tightly pressed together, his mouth a straight line, and his eyebrows lowered and pulled closer together. Warily, Wang Yue chewed on his bottom lip. He had a bad feeling. 

"Let me carry everything, so you won't strain your knee," Ling Rui said, and Wang Yue didn't dare to object. They worked together, Ling Rui handing him the dishes and cutlery, and Wang Yue distributing them around the table.

The moment the table had been set and everyone sat down, Wang Yue felt sick. Wang Chao was sitting at the head of the table, unusually quiet as he seemed to stare into the void. Wang Yue sat to his right and Ling Zhu to his left. The atmosphere was tense as she scooped beef stew into everyone's bowls. Ling Rui had sat down next to Wang Yue, looking displeased and deliberately ignoring his mother's worried gaze. Ling Yunzhi quietly watched them both, her expression unreadable as she sat between her sister and her sister-in-law. Ling Yazhi avoided everyone's gaze. She looked as uncomfortable as Wang Yue felt.

Once Ling Zhu was done, everyone picked up their spoons, mumbling thanks for the meal.

But Wang Yue didn't want to eat. He couldn't — at least, not like this.

Pretending that it was still too hot, he stirred the contents of his bowl, watching the chunks of potatoes, carrots, and beef swirl around. The onions were barely even visible anymore, dissolved into small thin pieces. He tried to avoid eating by helping his brother eat, but Wang Chao was perfectly fine on his own, blowing on his food before carefully pushing the spoon into his mouth. 

Wang Yue desperately searched for a way out of the situation. The silence was unbearable. He felt sick.

Suddenly, something squeezed his right thigh and Wang Yue blinked in surprise as he spotted Ling Rui's hand. Ling Rui smiled encouragingly, and Wang Yue appreciated the gesture, but it didn't help at all. Ling Yazhi grinned knowingly, and Ling Rui pulled his hand back with a sigh.

"I've got the next three days off," he announced and everyone looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" Ling Yunzhi asked.

Ling Rui nodded. "Doctor Yang returned today, and Doctor Zhou will be back tomorrow. So I can take two days off. And Sunday would have been my free day anyway. So I've got three free days in a row."

"Finally." Ling Yunzhi smiled. "Use your free time well." Her eyes darted to Wang Yue. Why was she staring at him? 

"I will," Ling Rui confirmed as if knowing what Ling Yunzhi had in mind. Maybe those two communicated without words.

Wang Yue peeked at Ling Rui. Did he have plans tomorrow? As far as Wang Yue knew, Ling Rui had worked more than two weeks without any day off. Surely he had more important things to do than spending his time doing tedious things like looking for flats, even though he had mentioned it in one of his text messages today.

"We could go shopping together," Ling Zhu suggested. 

"Sorry," Ling Rui replied, lowering his hand, even though he had just intended to take a bite. "I'm already busy tomorrow."

"You don't even have a few hours for your mother?" Ling Zhu asked, and Wang Yue noticed how Ling Rui grabbed his spoon tighter. "Let me buy some new clothes for you."

"I don't need new clothes, Ma."

"Don't need." Ling Zhu waved her hand in a gesture of refusal, and Ling Rui's nostrils flared outwards. "I just want to treat you."

It always was a mystery to Wang Yue how other people managed to spend money on a whim like that. He didn't even have a proper winter jacket because he couldn't afford it, and Ling Zhu wanted to buy new clothes, even though Ling Rui wouldn't need them. Huffing, Wang Yue stirred his beef stew again, the spoon clinking against the bowl.

"What's wrong, Xiao Yue?" Ling Zhu asked, and Wang Yue didn't even dare to look up, already knowing what this was about. "Why are you not eating? Do you not like beef stew?"

"Xiao Yue and I decided to move in together," Ling Rui said all of a sudden, metaphorically dropping the bomb and snapping everyone's attention back to him. "With Wang Chao, of course."

Wang Yue held his breath, frozen in place. He had thought Ling Rui had intended to talk about this after dinner. Scared about everyone's reaction, his eyes naturally sought out Ling Yunzhi. Her lips parted in surprise before she smiled fondly, giving an encouraging nod. Wang Yue inhaled shakily, cupping his bowl with both hands. He needed something to hold onto. 

"Oh." Ling Zhu blinked. "It's gonna be a bit crowded here with all of us, but sure. I don't mind."

"No, not here," Ling Rui denied. He let go of his spoon.

"Oh!" Happily, Ling Zhu clapped her hands together. "You'll look for a house for all of us then? That's a really nice idea, son."

Ling Yazhi pulled her bowl to the edge of the table and turned to the side, halfway putting her back to Ling Zhu and Ling Rui. It looked like she didn't want to be here, and Wang Yue understood that feeling only too well.

"No, Ma," Ling Rui denied again, staring at her across the table, his hands balled into fists. "I'll look for a flat for Xiao Yue, his brother, and me — just us three and no one else."

"You're taking his family with you but not your own?" Ling Zhu asked, and Wang Yue couldn't discern whether the tone of her voice was hurt or accusing. Nervously, his eyes darted back and forth between Ling Zhu and Ling Rui whenever they spoke up.

Ling Rui clicked his tongue. "Don't say it like that."

"I'll say it as it is," Ling Zhu replied with a stern gaze.

"Di?" Wang Chao warily called out. Wang Yue reached out to squeeze his lower arm, hoping to look reassuringly, even though his hand trembled and he felt nauseous. 

"Wouldn't it be easier if we all lived together?" Ling Zhu asked. "Think about it, son. I could look after Chao'er and take care of the housework while you two are working."

"You don't have to do that," Ling Rui replied, the corners of his mouth pulling downwards.

"Well, maybe I want to!" Ling Zhu insisted snappishly.

"Well, maybe I don't want you to!" Ling Rui exclaimed, slamming his palm on the table.

Without a word, Ling Yazhi grabbed her bowl and escaped to her room on tiptoes, leaving the door slightly ajar. 

"Why are you so ungrateful lately?" Ling Zhu yelled, and Wang Yue flinched, remembering how she had argued with Ling Yunzhi yesterday while Wang Yue had been in the bathroom. 

"Why are you so intrusive lately?" Ling Rui yelled back.

"Can't a mother worry about her child?" Ling Zhu replied, indignantly. "It would be easier if I moved in with you. It's for your own good!" She wildly gesticulated with her hands. "Why are you refusing? I only mean well!"

Groaning, Ling Rui not only rolled his eyes but his whole head. "I'm sick and tired of hearing that!"

"Yes, you're tired! That's why I'm doing my best to help you!" Ling Zhu retorted, and Wang Yue noticed that she totally missed the point. "Can't you try to see things from my perspective for once?" she asked as if being the victim. "I'm doing my best, and my son doesn't appreciate it all! I'll be a big help if I move in with you!"

"This isn't about you!" Ling Rui exclaimed, banging his fist on the table. "This is about me moving out. End of discussion! There isn't even anything to discuss!" Agitated, he threw up his hands. "I neither asked for your permission nor for your advice! I only told you that I'm moving in with Xiao Yue!"

"Da-ge, Ayi, what's wrong?" Wang Chao asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. Restlessly, he shifted on his chair.

Once he remembered Wang Chao's presence, Ling Rui took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Wang Yue squeezed Wang Chao's arm again, soothingly brushing his thumb over it. 

"Don't worry, Chao'er," Ling Zhu said, stroking his other arm. "Your Da-ge is just being complicated again and doesn't want to get spoiled. You should tell him how nice it is to get spoiled by your Ayi."

"Keep him out of this or you will regret it," Ling Rui threatened with such a cold voice that Ling Zhu paused and stared at him in shock. 

Wang Yue appreciated that Ling Rui had immediately jumped to Wang Chao's defense. "Come on," Wang Yue whispered, slowly pulling Wang Chao up. He carried his bowl and walked towards Ling Yazhi's room. Carefully, he peeked inside.

Ling Yazhi smiled sympathetically and nodded when Wang Yue silently threw her a questioning gaze. Wang Chao looked a bit confused when Wang Yue led him inside and got him to sit down on the floor at her low table. 

"Close the door," Ling Yazhi said to Wang Yue while handing Wang Chao his spoon. "We'll eat dinner here."

"Thanks," Wang Yue whispered. He felt bad about entrusting his brother to someone else again but leaving Ling Rui alone in this situation felt even worse.

When Wang Yue returned to the dining table and warily sat down —his hands resting in his lap— Ling Zhu and Ling Rui seemed to be at a stalemate, glaring at each other. 

Unfazed by the tension, Ling Yunzhi refilled her bowl and ate more stew. Wang Yue was impressed. He wouldn't manage to get down even a single bite in this situation.

"Ma." Ling Rui sighed, massaging his temples. "I don't want to fight. I just want to understand. What's wrong with you lately?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!" Ling Zhu exclaimed, crossing her arms in defense as if she felt attacked. "I'm just a mother trying to help her son! I don't know why you can't appreciate that."

Ling Rui was already seething with rage again, looking strained as if it took all of his willpower to refrain from lashing out. "Because you're unbearable lately," he hissed.

Gasping, Ling Zhu touched Ling Yunzhi's arm. "Did you hear what he said to me?"

"Are you sure you want me to participate in this conversation?" Ling Yunzhi asked, and it sounded like a warning. Wang Yue felt anxious, but if he hadn't completely misjudged Ling Yunzhi's character, she should be on Ling Rui's side in this case. 

"Ma," Ling Rui called out. "Talk to me if you have a problem with me."

"I don't have a problem with you," Ling Zhu replied snippishly. "But you seem to have a problem with me for some reason!"

"Because you're fussing too much and don't respect my boundaries!"

"What boundaries?" Ling Zhu asked with a frown. "Since when do you keep secrets from your mother?"

"I'm not keeping secrets!" Ling Rui retorted. 

"Says the man who lied to his mother's face and had a fake marriage last year."

She had a point, but it was still a low blow. Ling Rui had only done that to help out his aunt. He rolled his eyes as if she had reproached him for that several times before. 

"You still don't have to stick your nose into everything!"

"I only mean well!"

"I swear if you say that one more time, I'll—" Ling Rui pressed his trembling lips together, his fists balled in anger. Wang Yue had never seen him so angry — not even when Ling Rui had protected him from his landlord. On that day, Ling Rui's anger had been calm and calculated. Now, he was burning with rage — way more than this morning.

"Why do you mean well and try to help him so much?" Ling Yunzhi asked calmly, and Wang Yue really hoped she would manage to help them to solve their argument. 

"Because he's so stressed lately," Ling Zhu replied.

Ling Rui furrowed his brows. "Yeah," he suddenly mumbled, some of his anger dissipating as he got lost in thought. "It's gotten worse since I started working overtime."

"See?" Ling Zhu asked, and Wang Yue could already guess that she missed the point once again. "It's only because you're so stressed."

"I'm stressed, so what?" Ling Rui asked. "What's your goal?"

"To take the pressure off you!"

"You're putting pressure on me with your behavior!" Angrily, Ling Rui raised his voice again.

"Son, please." Ling Zhu sighed. "I'm working my hardest to help you."

"Why?" Ling Yunzhi asked while Ling Rui had already inhaled to talk back.

"Because I need to support him even more when he's stressed," Ling Zhu explained.

"Why?" Ling Yunzhi repeated calmly. She had stopped eating, cupping her bowl with both hands as if warming her fingers on it. 

"Because it's—" Ling Zhu's voice trailed off as if she had suddenly lost her energy. "That's my duty as his mother, isn't it?" Her voice was quiet and trembling. "I've gotta support my son. Even more so when he's stressed." She spoke louder again. "Even more so since I neglected him so much as a child when his father was sick."

"Ma," Ling Rui whispered softly. 

Wang Yue had briefly heard about Ling Rui's father being bedridden for a long time before eventually passing away when Ling Rui had still been young. Apparently, that was the reason why Ling Rui had chosen his career, becoming a doctor to research the illness that had taken his father's life. Ling Rui was very filial — unlike Wang Yue. What had Wang Yue done after his parents had died in a car crash? Nothing. He hadn't even thought about working in the car industry to increase safety measures somehow. 

"I've gotta make up for that lost time," Ling Zhu said, suddenly talking faster again. "Maybe you're just not used to getting spoiled since I neglected you so much, but that's okay. That was my fault. I'll make up for it now. You will learn to appreciate it."

"Ma, I'm fine," Ling Rui replied. "You don't have to make up for anything."

"No, I have to," Ling Zhu retorted frantically. "You don't have a brother or sister I could spoil to make up for my mistake. You don't have any children either. And Chao'er isn't here often enough. I've gotta spoil you. It's the only way."

Ling Rui narrowed his eyes. "So this isn't even about me getting spoiled to feel better but about you feeling better after easing your bad conscience?" Ling Rui spat out the question, his face darkened with anger.

"Don't get lost in details," Ling Zhu brushed him off. "Your mother wants to spoil you!"

"It sounded more like you wanted to spoil someone, not me."

"Is that why you kept talking about wanting a grandchild all afternoon?" Ling Yunzhi asked, knowing full well that she was adding fuel to the fire. 

Ling Rui stared at Ling Yunzhi in shock before his eyes drifted back to Ling Zhu. "Are you serious?" His voice was cold.

Wang Yue felt sick. Wrapping an arm around himself, he grabbed his hip. His other hand clung to the edge of the table. Why did they have to talk about that again? When he felt Ling Rui's gaze on him, Wang Yue scooted further down in his chair, his lower arm pressing against his abdomen. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to witness the moment Ling Rui realized he wouldn't ever have any kids with Wang Yue. They were both men. That wasn't how nature worked, no matter how much Ling Zhu wished to have a grandchild.

"You talked about wanting to have grandchildren while Xiao Yue—"

"So what?" Ling Zhu interrupted him. "You won't let yourself get spoiled by me, so what's wrong with me saying that I wished I had grandchildren to spoil instead? Don't worry, I'm well aware that you left Fangning and I'll never have any grandchildren because you have him now."

"You'll never have grandchildren because I'm gay!" Ling Rui exclaimed louder than ever before. Ling Zhu flinched and stared at him with wide eyes. "Don't you dare try to blame this on Xiao Yue!" Angrily, he pointed his finger at her. "If I weren't dating him, I still wouldn't date Fangning or any other woman! I'll never sleep with a woman again! The thought alone is disgusting to me!" he spat out the declaration, contorting his face.

Even though Ling Rui said not to blame it on him, Wang Yue couldn't feel anything but guilt. Who knew if Ling Rui would have ever realized that he was into men if Wang Yue hadn't dropped the hint last year. Maybe he would have stayed with Lu Fangning, tried sleeping with her at least a few more times, and gotten her pregnant. Ling Rui would be a good father. The patience and care he showed while with Wang Chao proved that more than enough. 

"I know! That's why I said I only have you to spoil!" Ling Zhu explained.

"You're not spoiling me!" Ling Rui exclaimed, emphasizing every word. "You're crushing me with your affection!"

"I only mean well!" Ling Zhu yelled, and Ling Rui snapped. Blind with rage, he jumped up, his chair scraping the floor harshly as it almost toppled over. Furiously, he lashed out, knocking his bowl over which loudly shattered into a thousand pieces as it hit the floor. Shouting, he raised his other hand.

"Rui-ge, stop!" Wang Yue sprang to his feet and grabbed Ling Rui's wrist. He knew that he wasn't in any position to order Ling Rui around, but Wang Yue couldn't watch Ling Rui doing anything he would regret later.

"I just want my old ma back!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his voice trembling as tears streamed down his face, his eyes red and bloodshot. Shocked, Wang Yue let go of his wrist. "My ma who understands and supports me and listens to me instead of twisting my words around and only thinking about herself!" Burying his face in his hands, Ling Rui sobbed loudly as he flopped back down on his chair. "I don't want this anymore." He shook his head. "I can't bear this anymore!" Sobs made his body shake.

"Ling Rui, son," Ling Zhu whispered, her voice trembling. She looked shocked. "Your ma is right here! I've been here all the time. If only you would let me take care of you and—"

"Zhu'er," Ling Yunzhi whispered, shaking her head. 

Insecurely, Ling Zhu reached out with her hand for Ling Rui.

"You're not my ma!" Ling Rui suddenly exclaimed without looking up.

"Ling Rui!" Ling Yunzhi hissed, warning him as Ling Zhu pulled her hand back as if her fingers had been burnt.

"My ma hasn't been here for at least two weeks!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his face still buried in his hands. "I miss her!"

"Son, I—" Ling Zhu's voice broke off as she started crying as well, tears running down her face.

Wang Yue was overwhelmed by the whole situation. Still standing, he looked down at Ling Rui's trembling back. He looked like a pile of misery, suddenly appearing to be so weak and helpless as he curled in on himself, crying louder while making himself even smaller. When they had first met, Ling Rui had been crying a lot, but never this intensely. Back then, Wang Yue hadn't known how to comfort Ling Rui and had only awkwardly held his hand. Today, Wang Yue still didn't know how to comfort Ling Rui, but at least, he could touch him more confidently. 

"Come here," Wang Yue whispered. As soon as he placed a hand on Ling Rui's back, Ling Rui turned around to throw himself at Wang Yue. Desperately, he clung to Wang Yue's arms, his side, his back — it felt like he couldn't be close enough. Unashamed, Wang Yue straddled Ling Rui's lap, allowing Ling Rui to press even closer, their torsos flush together. 

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whined, hiding his face in the crook of Wang Yue's neck as he wrapped his arms around him. His tears were warm.

"I'm here," Wang Yue whispered, unsure whether or not it was the right thing to say. His presence and their desire to move in together had triggered the fight between Ling Rui and his mother. But somehow, Wang Yue felt like this escalation had only been a question of time — he had only sped up the inevitable.

Wang Yue had his back towards the table but heard Ling Zhu crying bitterly, her sounds a bit muffled. Wang Yue could only guess that Ling Yunzhi had lent her a shoulder to cry on.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui called out in need, wrapping his arms even tighter around Wang Yue's waist. Whining, he adjusted his embrace, restlessly moving his hands up and down as if he couldn't grasp enough of Wang Yue. And maybe he really couldn't. It made Wang Yue realize how scrawny he had become, feeling guilty that he couldn't offer Ling Rui more to hug. Wang Yue was so thin that he got lost in Ling Rui's embrace, Ling Rui's hands not even touching him even more as he was trapped in the crooks of Ling Rui's arms.

"Sorry," Wang Yue whispered, kissing the top of Ling Rui's head. Soothingly, he rubbed Ling Rui's back. Wang Yue wished he had some encouraging things to say, but his mind was empty. Ling Rui always knew how to make him feel better, but Wang Yue could do nothing but offer the pathetic remainder of his body, hoping it would suffice to ease Ling Rui's worries. "Sorry," Wang Yue repeated, burying his face in Ling Rui's hair as he barely managed to hold back his tears.

Ling Rui was clinging to him while his body was wracked by one sob after another. Neither Ling Rui nor Ling Zhu managed to stop crying. It was as if the moment one of them calmed down, they became aware of the other crying and their own tears came flowing back. 

Ling Rui was still trembling and shaking, coughing as he clung to Wang Yue like a lifeline. It hurt Wang Yue's heart to see Ling Rui like this, but there wasn't anything he could do but hug Ling Rui. "It's okay," Wang Yue whispered, remembering how freeing it had felt to cry in Ling Rui's arms last night. Hopefully, Ling Rui would also feel better after this. "Let it all out." 

Wang Yue felt helpless as he held a crying Ling Rui in his arms, barely keeping himself together, his eyes stinging. This whole fight between Ling Rui and his mother had been too mentally straining. And if he already felt that bad, he couldn't even imagine how horrible Ling Rui had to feel. It had to be devastating if your mother had changed so much that you couldn't even recognize her anymore. Wang Yue hated to see Ling Rui suffer like that. He felt a lump in his throat but knew that he couldn't break down and cry now. Knowing Ling Rui, he would immediately gulp down his own feelings to worry and care about Wang Yue instead. That wouldn't do. Ling Rui needed an outlet.

"I'm here," Wang Yue whispered again, hoping to sound reassuring. It was the only thing he could do. Ling Rui tightened his grip, a desperate whine slipping from his lips as he tried to touch Wang Yue with his hands while pushing him closer. Wang Yue remembered their phone call this noon and how Peng Bo had called Ling Rui needy and whiny. He couldn't have been more right, and Wang Yue was ready to satisfy Ling Rui's every need as best as possible. But was simply hugging him really the best he could do? 

"Wang Yue?" Ling Yazhi suddenly called out, peeking out of her room. "Your brother keeps calling for you. I think he's whiny because he's tired."

"Di!" Wang Chao yelled in the background.

Shit. How was Wang Yue supposed to take care of his brother and Ling Rui at the same time? He didn't want to leave Ling Rui alone, but he couldn't ignore Wang Chao.

"Sorry, I—"

"It's okay," Ling Rui whispered and immediately let go of Wang Yue. His face was red and covered with splotches, his eyes swollen. "Go," he whispered.

"Are you sure?" It hurt to see Ling Rui like this. Wang Yue didn't want to leave him alone. 

Ling Rui nodded, avoiding Wang Yue's eyes.

Hesitantly, Wang Yue stood up. "I'll be back in a moment, alright?" He squeezed Ling Rui's shoulder, waiting for a reply.

Ling Rui tried but failed to smile before averting his face. His lips parted as his eyes fell on the broken bowl, shards, and beef stew covering the floor.

"I'll clean that up later," Wang Yue said. "Don't worry about it."

After hesitating for a moment, Ling Rui got up, Wang Yue's hand slipping from his shoulder. "I'll go to bed," he announced. "Good night."

"Son, I—"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore today," Ling Rui brushed his mother off, walking to his room. "I've gotta calm down and sleep on it first." 

"I'm sorry!" Ling Zhu exclaimed, her voice trembling as new tears streamed down her face. But Ling Rui had already closed the door behind him.

Sighing, Wang Yue raked a hand through his hair. What a day. And he still had a full work shift ahead of him. But first, he needed to look after his brother.

Wang Chao was whiny and agitated, tired and confused by the yelling he had no doubt heard even through closed doors. Wang Yue did his best to calm him down, brushing his teeth and washing his brother's face like he usually did, hoping the routine would help soothe his worries. 

Afterwards, he put him to bed, even reading him a bedtime story from his current favorite book about fish. It took longer than usual, but eventually Wang Chao fell asleep.

Relieved, Wang Yue snuck out of the room, and quietly closed the door behind him. Apologetically, he looked at Ling Yazhi, who had made herself comfortable in one of the armchairs, wearing earplugs. She had retreated to her room to avoid the conflict, but now she had to stay in the living room because Wang Chao slept in her bed. Wang Yue felt horribly guilty. For some reason, though, she looked up from her phone and only smiled at him. She didn't seem to be mad.

"Wang Yue," Ling Yunzhi called out from the couch. She nodded towards the dining table where two pieces of cake stood before nodding towards Ling Rui's bedroom door.

Ling Zhu was sitting next to her sister-in-law, rubbing a handkerchief between her fingers. She was staring into the void but at least she wasn't crying anymore.

When Wang Yue looked at the floor, he realized that the broken bowl and spilled food was gone. He didn't know who had cleaned it up but felt sorry for being too slow after offering to take care of it.

"Sorry," he mumbled to no one in particular. Quickly, he gathered Wang Chao's toys that were still scattered on the floor and put them into his box. Afterwards, he grabbed the plates with the cake and walked to Ling Rui's bedroom. He hesitated. Was it alright to simply barge in? Wang Yue really didn't want to be like Ling Zhu had been these past few days. Awkwardly, Wang Yue held the plates with one hand and knocked on the door with the other. "It's me."

"Come in," Ling Rui called out, his voice sounding raspy.

Relieved that he had gotten a reply and was allowed to enter, Wang Yue snuck inside, quickly closing the door behind him again. 

"You don't need to knock," Ling Rui mumbled. He was lying in bed, buried under his blanket and hugging a pillow. His hair was ruffled.

"Sorry," Wang Yue whispered.

"You don't need to apologize either." Ling Rui sighed, sounding more exhausted than annoyed.

Wang Yue grimaced. He was already fucking this up again, wasn't he? Slowly, he walked over to the bed. 

When Ling Rui spotted the cake, his eyes widened and he sat up. He leaned against the headboard, and his stomach rumbled.

Wang Yue couldn't help but huff. "You should have eaten your dinner instead of wasting it while destroying a perfectly fine bowl, Doctor Ling."

The moment Wang Yue realized the words that had slipped from his lips, he paled. Why was he accusing Ling Rui like that?

"I know." Ling Rui groaned. Sighing, he patted the mattress. 

Hesitantly, Wang Yue sat down. "Sorry."

"For what?" Ling Rui asked, almost sounding amused. "For telling the truth?"

"I—"

"I've always liked your brutal honesty, Yue'er." With a weak smile, Ling Rui reached for one of the plates. "You're right. I shouldn't have lashed out like that." 

"Huh." Perplexed, Wang Yue could only watch how Ling Rui picked up the fork and took a large bite of the cake. 

Ling Rui's eyes went wide. "Oh my god!" Greedily, he immediately took an even larger bite and moaned as he chewed, rolling his eyes back. "It's so good!" He lifted another forkful of cake and held it out for Wang Yue. "You've gotta try this."

Blinking, Wang Yue stared at the cake in front of his face.

Suddenly, Ling Rui's face fell. "Sorry! I didn't mean to force—"

Before Ling Rui could finish his apology and pull his hand back, Wang Yue had already leaned in and wrapped his lips around the fork. He pulled the cake into his mouth, surprised as the sweet flavor spread on his tongue. How could it be so tasty, even though it was so ridiculously sweet?

"Fuck," Wang Yue mumbled, licking his lips. "It is good." 

After hesitating for a moment, Ling Rui put another piece of cake into his mouth, grabbed Wang Yue's shirt, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Wang Yue gasped against Ling Rui's lips, moaning when Ling Rui suddenly pushed the cake into Wang Yue's mouth. Closing his eyes, Wang Yue angled his head to the side. Their tongues swirled around each other, pushing crumbs of cake back and forth as the cream slowly melted inside their hot mouths. The sugar made it sticky and messy, and eventually, Ling Rui leaned back, panting harshly, his eyes half-lidded.

"Doctor Ling." Wang Yue smirked, licking the remaining cream from his lips. "How naughty."

Pushing his bottom lip forward, Ling Rui pouted. "Don't call me that. Call me Rui-ge."

Playfully, Wang Yue hummed. "What if I refuse?"

"Then I'll make you."

The threat was sweeter than any cake could ever be, and Wang Yue willingly leaned in for another kiss. Carelessly, he placed the plates down on the mattress to cup Ling Rui's face. Appreciatively, Ling Rui moaned into the kiss, burying one hand in Wang Yue's long hair and grabbing his arm with the other. 

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered against Wang Yue's lips, shoving his tongue into Wang Yue's mouth before he had a chance to reply. Wang Yue felt hot. It was just a kiss, but Ling Rui radiated so much passion that Wang Yue felt his arousal awakening, surging through his body like a river of liquid lava. 

"Rui-ge." The nickname had slipped from Wang Yue's lips, and he felt the corners of Ling Rui's mouth lifting into a smile. When Wang Yue's hand snuck under Ling Rui's sweatshirt, Ling Rui's breathing stuttered. 

Without breaking the kiss, Ling Rui got up to straddle Wang Yue's lap.

The television turned on, its sound reverberating through the room. The voices were too muffled to make out any words but loud enough to get reminded about how thin the walls were in this flat and that Ling Rui's family was sitting in the next room. 

Sighing, Ling Rui climbed out of Wang Yue's lap. He sat down on the mattress and threw his head back, knocking it against the headboard. 

"I can't wait to move out of here," Ling Rui mumbled. 

Wang Yue hummed in agreement, trying to swallow his disappointment about getting cock-blocked. He had let himself get too carried away. Self-consciously, he checked his phone. "I've gotta go to work," he whispered.

"Oh." Ling Rui's eyes widened in surprise. "Sorry. I had completely forgotten about that."

"It's okay," Wang Yue replied, stroking Ling Rui's cheek. It still looked red from crying, his skin rough from his dried tears. "Me too for a moment."

With another sigh, Ling Rui stole a quick kiss. "Thanks for being here with me, Yue'er."

Too taken aback by these words, Wang Yue failed to reply. 

"Sorry you had to witness that outburst today," Ling Rui whispered, self-consciously rubbing the nape of his neck.

"It's okay." Even though the situation had been more than unpleasant, Wang Yue felt like it had served some greater good. It had been necessary. Maybe it had finally opened Ling Zhu's eyes, and she would return to her usual self. "You had to let that out before it ate you up from the inside." 

"Yeah, I guess." Ling Rui smiled weakly. "Thanks for staying with me throughout it."

"I didn't really do anything," Wang Yue mumbled.

"It helped that I wasn't alone," Ling Rui admitted. "And you stopped me from going on an even worse rampage."

"It was the least I could do." Feeling too awkward to continue the conversation, Wang Yue picked up the plate. "Cake?" he offered carefully.

"Feed me?" Ling Rui asked with such a needy voice that Wang Yue had no choice but to comply. During their call this noon, Wang Yue had thought that Peng Bo was only joking, but Ling Rui really was needy today. Wang Yue wished he didn't have to work.

Quietly, he fed Ling Rui the cake, first one piece, then the other. From time to time, Wang Yue stole a few bites for himself, relishing Ling Rui's happy smile even more than the sweet taste.

"I've gotta go," Wang Yue eventually mumbled reluctantly. He was already late.

"Sorry for keeping you," Ling Rui replied with an apologetic smile. "Go," he whispered when Wang Yue hesitated. "I'm okay. I'll just read a book until I fall asleep."

"Yeah." Wang Yue brushed a strand of hair out of Ling Rui's face. "Catch up on sleep."

"I will," Ling Rui promised. 

They shared another kiss before Wang Yue reluctantly got up. "Good night. Sleep well."

"Good night," Ling Rui replied. "Drive carefully and cuddle me when you return." Ling Rui narrowed his eyes as Wang Yue parted his lips. "And no, I don't care if you accidentally wake me up because of it."

Wang Yue huffed. "Alright. Whatever you want."

Ling Rui smiled like a cat that got the cream, and Wang Yue felt at peace. It had been a rough evening, but things could only get better from here on.

"Watch out for your knee!" Ling Rui called out when Wang Yue left.

"Yeah, yeah." Wang Yue waved his hand without looking back.

After taking the plates to the kitchen, Wang Yue grabbed the spare key and said goodbye to Ling Rui's family before rushing off to work. 

It was raining tonight, and the wind was cold against Wang Yue's drenched clothes. He had a raincoat somewhere, but it was lost in one of his many bags in Ling Rui's basement. But it didn't matter. The memory of Ling Rui's kisses and his scarf kept him warm. Furthermore, it was the beginning of the month, and he had finally received his pay today. It always raised his spirits to know that he wouldn't have to worry about money for a few days.

When he returned home after midnight, his knee throbbed slightly but not as much as the previous day. Wang Yue quickly changed his clothes and snuck into bed, carefully wrapping his arms around Ling Rui. Ling Rui sighed happily in his sleep, reciprocating the embrace. Wang Yue felt safe and wanted. 

Without any negative thoughts, he closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep, his exhaustion catching up to him.

 

Notes:

This is one of my favorite chapters, and I totally cried while writing the argument between Ling Rui and Ling Zhu, so I've gotta ask how you're feeling after reading this chapter. Let me know in the comments ♥

On a lighter note, my friend (who unfortunately doesn't live close by) tested the cake recipe I used as reference and according to her, it's very tasty.

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Chapter 15: Making decisions (Friday, April 2nd)

Summary:

Ling Rui finally has a day off and time to discuss some details about moving in together with Wang Yue.

Notes:

Chapter title by my beta-reader G ♥

8,4k words

Wang Yue felt warm. 

Everything was soft and comfortable.

It was a good feeling.

He sighed contentedly. 

Slowly, he became aware of his surroundings, about to wake up. His first coherent thought was that he had forgotten to set an alarm again. But it didn't matter anymore when he realized that he wasn't alone in bed. Something hard was under his torso, his left leg tangled together with other legs. His hands lay on the mattress, cupped by something warm, being stroked.

Frowning, he blinked his eyes open.

"Good morning, Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered softly. His face was right in front of Wang Yue's, his breath brushing over Wang Yue's lips. His eyelids were a bit swollen, but the dark circles under his eyes were barely even visible anymore. His hair was tousled. 

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled when he realized that it was Ling Rui's arm he had been lying on the whole time. "Did I trap you in bed?" Reluctantly, he raised himself up and tried to give Ling Rui some space, but Ling Rui only pulled him back down, wrapping his arms around him.

"Stay," Ling Rui whispered. "Please."

Wang Yue melted into Ling Rui's embrace like the butter in the pot yesterday evening. 

"Don't you have to get up?" Wang Yue asked because Ling Rui always got up in the morning. Even after dating for half a year, Wang Yue could count the number of times he had woken up with Ling Rui by his side on one hand. Ling Rui always had to leave early because of work. And even on his free days, Ling Rui was an early riser, getting up to do housework and make breakfast. Wang Yue yawned. How late was it anyway? He peeked towards the window. The sun was already up again. He groaned.

Ling Rui chuckled. "You make such cute sounds when you're waking up."

Grumbling, Wang Yue pushed his bottom lip forward, making Ling Rui chuckle again.

"It's nice to wake up with you like this," Ling Rui whispered softly, and Wang Yue definitely wasn't awake enough yet for such a confession. Whining, he scooted closer and buried his face in the crook of Ling Rui's neck. His body was surrounded by warmth as Ling Rui hugged him even tighter. Ling Rui brushed the hair away from Wang Yue's forehead to give him a kiss, but it stubbornly fell back into place. Ling Rui made a displeased sound.

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled, trying to get his hair under control and brush it away, but it was futile. He groaned. "It's gotten too long."

"I thought you wanted to grow it out," Ling Rui whispered, raking his fingers through Wang Yue's hair, managing to at least brush some strands behind Wang Yue's ear.

"Nah," Wang Yue denied. "I was just too lazy to cut it." He should cut it. A sigh fell from his lips as he remembered all the bags with his belongings in the basement. "And now I don't even know where my scissors are." 

"You're cutting your own hair?"

Wang Yue snorted. "That's why it looks so shabby, yes."

"It's not shabby." Reprimanding, Ling Rui flicked his finger against Wang Yue's forehead. "I wouldn't be able to cut mine that well on my own."

"I bet the rich and famous Doctor Ling always goes to his own personal, very professional hairdresser," Wang Yue couldn't help but tease.

"Usually, I go to a normal hairdresser, but sometimes ma—"

Wang Yue opened his eyes and peeked up. Ling Rui was staring into the distance, lips parted, lost in his thoughts.

"Your mother cuts your hair?" Wang Yue concluded.

"Huh?" Ling Rui blinked, his eyes snapping back to Wang Yue. "Ah, yeah. Sometimes. She's really good at it." He smiled. "Maybe I—" He trailed off into thoughts again, his expression growing distant.

"Maybe?"

Ling Rui shook his head. "Forget it," he whispered.

Wang Yue propped himself up on his elbows to get a proper look at Ling Rui's face. "Maybe?" he prompted again.

Groaning, Ling Rui closed his eyes. After a moment, he sheepishly opened one eye only to close it again when Wang Yue expectantly raised an eyebrow. Wang Yue waited —patient and persistent— until Ling Rui eventually gave in with a sigh.

"Maybe I could ask her to cut our hair?" Ling Rui whispered.

Frowning, Wang Yue looked at Ling Rui's hair. Now that it was tousled from sleep and not perfectly combed and styled like during the day, it was more obvious how long it had gotten. Carefully, Wang Yue raked his fingers through Ling Rui's thick hair. "It has gotten a bit long."

"Yeah," Ling Rui whispered, sounding insecure.

"You should ask her."

"You think so?" Ling Rui asked, a sliver of hope in his voice.

"She'd be happy to help," Wang Yue replied, doing his best to sound convincing. After yesterday's conversation, Ling Zhu should have dialed it down a notch. At least, Wang Yue hoped that was the case. Just like Ling Rui, he also missed the old Ling Zhu he had gotten to know around the New Year. She had been clingy and fussing, but not to the same extent as now. It had been bearable.

"I don't know how to face her after last night," Ling Rui admitted in a whisper.

"Just be normal?" Wang Yue suggested, even though he had no idea how to handle this situation. He wasn't the best at giving advice about how to deal with your parents, but walking around on eggshells would only serve to make everything worse. 

"What if it gets awkward?" Ling Rui asked.

"I guess that's unavoidable at first," Wang Yue replied, regretting his words when he noticed Ling Rui grimacing. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's okay." Ling Rui smiled. "You're just honest." He sighed. "I just hope she won't fall into depression again," he mumbled more to himself than to Wang Yue.

"Did she have trouble with that before?"

Ling Rui averted his eyes, and his nod was barely noticeable. Apparently, he didn't want to talk about it. "But I guess you're right." Ling Rui took a deep breath. "I just have to grit my teeth and push through until it's not awkward anymore."

"It shouldn't take too long." Wang Yue could only imagine that everything would return to normal or stay as bad as it had been for the past few days. He didn't think they would settle for an awkward in-between. 

Sighing, Ling Rui sat up. "I'm really hungry."

"You only had cake for dinner, Doctor Ling," Wang Yue replied, smirking teasingly until he noticed Ling Rui's unimpressed gaze. Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. "I also only had cake for dinner, I guess," he mumbled.

"Breakfast?" Ling Rui asked, carefully but hopefully.

"Maybe," Wang Yue whispered, averting his eyes. He honestly didn't know. Now that he had realized how much his body had changed, he wanted to eat again. It wouldn't do if he got even thinner and there was nothing left for Ling Rui to hug anymore. But depending on Ling Zhu's mood, Wang Yue might not be able to eat. He shook his head before he could get too negative. "I'll try."

"Alright." Ling Rui smiled and ruffled Wang Yue's hair, satisfied with that answer. "And after breakfast, we can look for flats."

When Ling Rui got up to change from his pajamas into his sweatpants and sweatshirt, Wang Yue shamelessly ogled him — if only to refrain from thinking about Ling Rui's last words. Watching Ling Rui put on pants always reminded Wang Yue how long Ling Rui's legs were. Ling Rui wasn't even that much taller than Wang Yue, but his legs were so much longer — just like his fingers. Everything about Ling Rui was long — even his cock.

Groaning, Wang Yue buried his face in his hands, desperately trying to think about something else. But his mind only provided him with memories of Ling Rui's long legs wrapped around his head when he blew him, his long fingers brushing over his body and teasing his nipples, his long cock bumping against the back of his throat, pleasantly heavy on his tongue. A needy whine slipped from Wang Yue's lips.

"Something wrong?"

"No," Wang Yue mumbled against his hands, his cheeks heating up. He could feel Ling Rui's worried gaze on him, knowing full well that saying nothing would only make things worse. Wang Yue sighed. "Just having some dirty thoughts."

"Oh." Ling Rui paused, and Wang Yue peeked at him through the gap between his fingers. "Because I—" Ling Rui looked down at his naked chest, sweatshirt in his hands. He blushed. "Oh."

"Stop being so damn cute and sexy," Wang Yue murmured but couldn't stop staring at Ling Rui's flushed chest, light brown nipples, and trained abs. 

"Sorry!" Self-consciously, Ling Rui turned around, utterly unaware of the fact that his broad back was just as attractive as the rest of him, muscles moving as he put on his sweatshirt. Awkwardly, Ling Rui cleared his throat. "Get dressed?"

"Hm?" Wang Yue blinked. "Ah. Yeah." He should get out of bed and look after his brother. Furthermore, Ling Rui was nervously shifting from one leg to the other. He really needed to sort this out with his mother. Wang Yue could only hope that it went well. 

"Is your knee okay?" Ling Rui asked all of a sudden, his eyes traveling to Wang Yue's leg.

"Yeah, don't worry." Slipping out of bed, Wang Yue quickly changed his shirt and put on some socks and pants. Encouragingly, he squeezed Ling Rui's arm once, relishing the small smile Ling Rui gave him. "Let's go."

After taking a deep breath, Wang Yue opened the door and stepped into the living room, Ling Rui hesitantly following after him. Ling Zhu, who was sitting on the couch, jumped up when she saw them while taking off her red reading glasses, a book resting on the table. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. Self-consciously, she rubbed her arm, averting her gaze. It was unusual to see her so quiet and humble. Wang Chao —still sitting on the couch— cocked his head in confusion.

"Morning," Ling Rui whispered.

"Morning!" Ling Yazhi replied. She was sitting at the dining table, hair held back by a white hairband, wearing a facemask. Elbows propped up on the table, she frantically tapped the screen of her phone —probably playing another mobile game— a half-full bowl of oatmeal standing in front of her. 

"Morning," Ling Zhu whispered almost too quietly to be heard. 

Wang Yue had to hold back a sigh. This wasn't going well. Searching for help, he looked around, but Ling Yunzhi wasn't anywhere to be found. Maybe she was at work. 

"Ayi, Da-ge," Wang Chao suddenly called out. "Are you fighting — still fighting?"

Shocked, they both looked at Wang Chao.

"No!" Ling Zhu exclaimed before warily looking at Ling Rui.

Ling Rui smiled softly. "No. We're not fighting." 

Ling Zhu relaxed, a small smile appearing on her lips. "Can I hug my son?"

"Always," Ling Rui whispered. 

They both walked forward, meeting in the middle to wrap their arms around each other. Wang Chao happily clapped his hands. 

"Sorry for last night," Ling Rui whispered, but Ling Zhu only shook her head. She looked so small in Ling Rui's arms. Had Wang Yue looked the same last night, getting lost in Ling Rui's embrace, even though it should have been the other way around?

"I'm sorry," Ling Zhu replied, leaning back, her hands still on Ling Rui's arms. "I should have tried to understand your feelings sooner."

"I'll try to rely more on you in some situations," Ling Rui promised, a weak smile on his lips.

"I won't force you to," Ling Zhu replied. 

"Thanks."

Without letting go of Ling Rui, Ling Zhu suddenly looked at Wang Yue. "I have to apologize to you, too."

Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise as he failed to reply. 

"I'm glad my son found someone as nice as you," she said, smiling. "You have to take good care of each other."

Standing up straighter, Wang Yue nodded awkwardly. He was afraid to disappoint Ling Zhu and fail to meet her expectations. But he would do his best to look after Ling Rui and make him happy.

"I already ate with Chao'er and Da-jie earlier," Ling Zhu suddenly said, her attention back on Lign Rui, "but should I make some nice breakfast for you two?" 

"No," Ling Rui replied, his voice quiet as he let go of her and took a step back. "I'll do it."

"Alright." Sighing, Ling Zhu gave in. "But tell me if you need help."

"Thanks, Ma." 

She waved her hand in refusal and sat back down on the couch. After putting on her reading glasses, she picked up her book.

When Wang Yue went to the bathroom with Wang Chao, Ling Rui quickly followed them. Wang Yue blinked in surprise, but didn't say anything as all three of them huddled together in front of the sink, brushing their teeth together. Silently, Wang Yue wondered if it would be like this more often in the future if the three of them moved in together. It was a nice thought. Wang Yue didn't know why something so simple made him so happy, but it did. Afterwards, Ling Rui reached for a row of skin care products, washing and cleansing his face. Wang Yue only watched in awe. He had wondered if Ling Rui's skin was perfect naturally, but maybe there was actually a lot of work and care behind it. With all the stress lately, Ling Rui probably hadn't had time and energy to properly take care of his skin. Wang Yue could only hope that things would calm down again soon, but today looked promising in that regard. He just had to make sure Ling Rui could enjoy his day off.

When they returned to the living room, Ling Yazhi used the bathroom, and Wang Chao walked to the aquarium to observe the fish. Ling Rui made some lavish breakfast — toast, eggs, bacon, and salad. It was too much. Overwhelmed, Wang Yue stared at all the dishes covering the dining table. But Ling Rui didn't push him to eat, only telling him to take whatever he wanted. It also helped that Ling Rui started eating without waiting for Wang Yue. It took the pressure off. Ling Zhu peeked over her book a few times, her eyes looking even sharper while wearing the red glasses, but she didn't say anything and her gaze didn't linger. 

After a while —Ling Yazhi had already returned from the bathroom and sat down in one of the armchairs with her phone— Wang Yue picked up his chopsticks and grabbed a little piece of scrambled eggs from the big plate in the middle of the table. He had expected them to be bland and boring, but they were soft and smooth, their rich taste salty yet sweet at the same time. Wang Yue's eyes lit up. Ling Rui really was an amazing cook. Eagerly, Wang Yue shoveled some scrambled eggs onto his plate, curiously taking them apart to analyze all the ingredients. He spotted thinly chopped spring onions and peppers, but couldn't discern what spices Ling Rui had added. But it didn't matter. Whatever Ling Rui had done, it was delicious. 

Wang Yue gulped down a few bites —realizing that he would chide his brother if he ever ate so quickly— and reached for a slice of toast. But before he was even halfway through, it felt like too much. Elbow on the table, he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, swallowing down a burp. He placed the toast on his plate.

A giggle suddenly drifted to his ears, and Wang Yue looked at Ling Yazhi, not knowing why she would laugh about him in this situation. Her eyes, however, weren't on hin. Following her line of sight, Wang Yue snorted when he spotted Ling Rui with his upper lip painted white after drinking from his glass of milk. Mindlessly, Wang Yue reached out to wipe it away with his thumb, causing Ling Yazhi to giggle again while Ling Rui only blinked, perplexed. 

Somehow, seeing Ling Rui like this made Wang Yue feel at ease. He reached for his scrambled eggs again, watching how they got squeezed between the tips of his chopsticks. They had been tasty, but somehow, he hesitated to take another bite. He already felt so full. Should he try eating more anyway? 

His decision was taken away from him when his brother walked over to him, apparently having had his fill of watching the aquarium. His eyes immediately went to the scrambled eggs and the half-eaten slice of toast before he sheepishly peeked at Wang Yue. 

"Sit down," Wang Yue whispered with a soft smile, pushing his plate to the side. Giving his brother food was easier than eating it himself.

Immediately, Wang Chao did as he was told and eagerly gulped down Wang Yue's food. Wang Yue always enjoyed seeing his brother so happy, but he felt bad for only giving him leftovers. It felt wrong. Wang Chao should eat first until he was truly sated before Wang Yue ate his leftovers — not the other way around. His stomach clenched. He knew that Wang Chao had already eaten breakfast before, but he was clearly still in the mood to eat, so he shouldn't have to refrain. But overeating wasn't good for Wang Chao either. Should Wang Yue have offered him some of the breakfast Ling Rui had made instead of just eating it himself or not? Wang Yue didn't know what was right. Ling Rui had made this for the two of them, but leaving out Wang Chao made him uncomfortable. Maybe Wang Yue was just too used to eating Wang Chao's leftovers — if there even were some.

"Do you want some of mine?" Ling Rui suddenly offered, pushing his plate towards Wang Yue. 

Wang Yue quickly shook his head and grabbed his mug of tea, wrapping both hands around it. He couldn't steal Ling Rui's food. He wasn't hungry anymore anyway. He had eaten enough. He didn't need much. The little bit he had had was sufficient for someone like him. 

"Hey," Ling Rui whispered. "It's okay." Softly, he brushed Wang Yue's hand, making him realize that he was trembling and clinging to his mug for dear life. Wang Yue tried to take a deep breath and relax, but he felt tense. 

Wang Chao had finished eating and jumped up from his chair to join Ling Zhu on the couch.

"Ayi! What are you reading?"

Wang Yue stared into his mug and drowned out the conversation. Why couldn't he eat up and leave the table? Why did he feel trapped here, feeling like he had fucked up once again, even though he had managed to eat breakfast. Somehow, he was afraid to face Ling Rui. What if he was disappointed because Wang Yue hadn't eaten more? What if he thought Wang Yue hadn't eaten because he disliked his food? Hadn't Ling Rui mentioned that he looked forward to moving in with Wang Yue and cooking for him every day? He probably wouldn't enjoy that if Wang Yue didn't eat his meals. 

Furthermore, the wish to move in together was all well and good, but actually finding a flat was another story. Wang Yue had suppressed the thoughts all morning, but now they occupied his mind. Yesterday, Ling Rui hadn't had any time to look for flats. Unlike Wang Yue, Ling Rui had no idea how pathetic their options were. Or maybe he hadn't considered how little money Wang Yue had. Anxiously, Wang Yue stared into his mug, trying not to overthink. His stomach clenched. He was starting to feel sick. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten so soon after waking up.

"What's wrong?"

Wang Yue didn't dare to meet Ling Rui's eyes, slightly shaking his head and pressing his trembling lips together. He didn't want to disappoint Ling Rui. He didn't want to ruin his first free day in ages in any way.

"You're pale," Ling Rui whispered. Worriedly, he pushed up Wang Yue's bangs to press his palm against his forehead. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

"'m fine," Wang Yue mumbled, trying to ignore Ling Yazhi's and Ling Zhu's questioning eyes. Why was everyone's attention on him again? Couldn't he just be small enough so no one would notice him? Couldn't he just vanish into thin air? "I'm fine," he repeated, using all of his willpower to look at Ling Rui and convince him.

But Ling Rui only threw him a silent gaze that said, clearly, you're not, and Wang Yue felt bad for lying to his face.

"Sorry." Wang Yue inhaled deeply. "Just—" Vaguely, he waved his hand, pointing at nothing before staring at his tea again. What was he even trying to say? That he dreaded the moment Ling Rui realized that this wouldn't work out? That nothing would work out? Cooking for Wang Yue wouldn't work, moving in with him wouldn't work, and dating him wouldn't work.  

"Anxious?" Ling Rui whispered, and Wang Yue only shrugged his shoulders. 

Was it anxiety? Getting anxiety from having breakfast before looking for flats felt a bit over the top, but thinking about everything this entailed, Wang Yue had every reason to worry and freak out. As soon as Ling Rui realized that they wouldn't find a suitable flat with Wang Yue's low budget, he would look for a flat on his own. Or maybe Ling Rui would even consider staying at home now that he had reconciled with his mother. And then Wang Yue would be at a loss as to what to do. He couldn't afford the new rent of his place, and every available flat he could afford, wasn't a flat but a single room. That would be the final end of Wang Yue's sex life — and the end of his relationship with Ling Rui. What was Wang Yue good for if they couldn't even fuck anymore? He wasn't even good enough for hugging because he failed to eat enough to maintain a proper body shape.

"Please talk to me—"

Wang Yue gasped when he suddenly stared into Ling Rui's face and felt his hands pressing against his cheeks. Hadn't he been looking at his mug of tea? Ling Rui's palms were warm but his fingertips were cold.

"—and breathe."

Why was Ling Rui telling him that? Wang Yue was fine. He was breathing. He was worried, yes, but he wouldn't freak out. He couldn't — not here, not now. He frowned. Why not? 

Because his brother and Ling Rui's family were here, and Wang Yue couldn't risk worrying them.

Were they still here? Frantically, he tried to look for them, but somehow he couldn't see clearly. His vision was blurry. No, no, no. Not now! He couldn't black out. Why was he even dizzy? There was no reason. He was probably only imagining it. His mind was playing tricks on him. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, the nausea wouldn't stop, and everything swayed around him.

Wang Yue heard some dull sounds. Was someone talking to him? It suddenly felt like the world was shaking more than before. Was he moving? He felt warm and safe, like getting embraced, even though he didn't feel safe at all. It made no sense. He was scared. Where was he? 

The world shook again, the warmth gone.

"—back in a moment."

Had that been Ling Rui's voice? Wang Yue took a deep breath. Breathing was always good, right? Sometimes, his body forgot to do it, but Wang Yue remembered he had to. He took another breath and noticed something soft against his back — under him. Was he lying down? He tried to move, trying to become aware of his hands and legs. His limbs felt heavy. There was something under his legs. It was soft and seemed to give in when he pushed down on it. His hands grabbed something, clung to it. Fabric. Were those sheets? 

Groaning, he blinked his eyes open. He only saw white. Was it the ceiling?

"You're in bed," Ling Rui explained as he suddenly appeared next to Wang Yue. The ground seemed to shake for a moment but Wang Yue realized that it had to be the mattress dipping as Ling Rui sat down. "I told the others you were still tired."

Had Ling Rui carried Wang Yue to the bedroom? Ling Rui reached for Wang Yue's legs, causing him to realize that they lay on a blanket. He pushed a second blanket under Wang Yue's legs, propping them up higher. 

"Can you hear me?" 

"Sure," Wang Yue slurred. It was like his lips were too heavy to move.

Wang Yue's hand was lifted and turned over, something pressing against the inside of his wrist. Turning his head to the left, he blinked his eyes open. When had he even closed them again? Ling Rui pressed the tips of his index and middle fingers down on Wang Yue's wrist, a focused expression on his face as he stared at his watch. 

"I'm fine," Wang Yue whispered.

"Eh, that's debatable," Ling Rui murmured, silently counting as he took Wang Yue's pulse.

"Rude."

"Sometimes it helps to be rude enough to coax you to talk back."

"Rude and scheming, Doctor Ling."

Ling Rui shrugged his shoulders and let go of Wang Yue's wrist. "I can live with those accusations as long as you're feeling better again." He took Wang Yue's hand, stroking his knuckles. 

"Sorry for worrying you," Wang Yue whispered, closing his eyes again. His eyelids felt heavy. 

"It's okay," Ling Rui whispered. "I'm just glad I noticed quickly enough."

Ling Rui had probably noticed it even sooner than Wang Yue had. Wang Yue sighed. He really should know himself better. 

"Can you try to drink some water?" 

"Yeah."

When Wang Yue tried to sit up, he realized how weak his body still was.

"Wait," Ling Rui wrapped an arm around Wang Yue's back. "Just slowly sit up a bit."

Wang Yue wanted to protest that he could sit up on his own, but there was no point. His muscles wouldn't listen to him. So he accepted Ling Rui's help, leaning against him while taking little sips from the water bottle Ling Rui held against his lips. It helped. 

Sighing, Wang Yue lay back down. "I don't know why that happened," he mumbled. Sure, he had been lost in thoughts again, but that was no reason to panic and get dizzy again. But at least no one could blame it on his eating habits this time. "I did eat more breakfast than usual," he added defiantly, immediately feeling stupid for even pointing it out. What was he even trying to prove here? 

"It looked like an anxiety attack," Ling Rui mentioned, putting the bottle back on the nightstand. "Do you know what might have triggered it?"

Wang Yue frowned. He had a lot of worries. How was he supposed to know which one of them suddenly caused him to freak out for no reason? He had always been anxious about losing Ling Rui, but he had always known the day would come. Maybe he was freaking out because everything happened so quickly all of a sudden. After realizing that they wouldn't find a flat, it was only a question of time until Ling Rui left him — a short question of time. And what was Wang Yue supposed to do without Ling Rui? He didn't want to be alone again. But his well-being wasn't even the most pressing problem. Finding a flat for Wang Chao was the most important thing. His brother also needed a new bed, and—

"Yue'er."

"Huh?" Confused, Wang Yue blinked. When had Ling Rui grabbed his shoulders and leaned down? "Are you trying to take advantage of me, Doctor Ling?" Wang Yue smirked, and Ling Rui rolled his eyes.

"What's worrying you?" Ling Rui whispered, and Wang Yue sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. "You don't have to tell me, but sharing your thoughts might be easier than overthinking on your own."

"We won't find a flat," Wang Yue blurted out the most pressing thought on his mind.

Ling Rui paused and leaned back, one hand still touching Wang Yue's shoulder. It was warm. "What makes you think that?"

"I've already checked," Wang Yue explained, trying but failing to smile. "Yesterday."

"I know that it's not easy, but I'm sure we'll find something nice."

"You're too optimistic." Maybe it was time to rip off the bandage. "I'll show you." Determined, Wang Yue gathered his strength to sit up. "Where's your laptop?" He looked around, groaning as the quick movement caused his vision to waver again.

"Take it slow," Ling Rui said, steadying Wang Yue until he leaned back against the headboard. Afterwards, he fetched his laptop from the desk. Quietly, Wang Yue watched how Ling Rui turned it on and opened the most popular real estate website. It was the same Wang Yue had used yesterday.

"Let me show you," Wang Yue mumbled, pulling the laptop onto his lap. Ling Rui sat down next to him, watching how Wang Yue restricted the search results. 

"Is that your budget?"

"I wish." Wang Yue smiled wearily. "It's our combined budget."

Ling Rui blinked, looking confused. "But I didn't even tell you my budget."

"I can do the math, Doctor Ling. I'm not that stupid," Wang Yue replied, feeling offended. "I can't pay more than I used to and I've gotta pay two thirds of our rent, so the maximum amount of our combined—"

"Why would you have to pay two thirds of our rent?" Ling Rui frowned. Ignoring the laptop, he turned around to sit cross-legged, facing Wang Yue.

"We are three people." Wang Yue couldn't believe he had to explain this to Ling Rui. "I've gotta pay for my brother and for myself, and you've gotta pay for yourself."

"No."

Now it was Wang Yue's time to frown. "What do you mean, no?" Wang Yue hadn't miscalculated. There wasn't even much to calculate. It was simple and easy.

Shaking his head, Ling Rui turned around and sat next to Wang Yue, leaning against the headboard. "So your budget is two thirds of this," he mumbled, pulling the laptop back into his lap. Their thighs were pressed against each other. "Adding my budget to yours leaves us with—" he deleted the number and typed something else before pressing enter "—this much."

Wang Yue stared at the screen in disbelief. "Why should you pay twice as much as I do? You don't have to pay for my brother!"

"Xiao Yue," Ling Rui said, and it sounded as if he had to force himself to be patient. "You're paying as much as you're willing to, and I'm paying as much as I'm willing to."

"It makes no sense." This was ridiculous. Ling Rui couldn't just go and pay more than Wang Yue did. 

"If you looked for a flat on your own, you would use the same budget as you had calculated now, right?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied carefully. What was Ling Rui getting at?

"And if I looked for a flat for myself, I would also use the same budget as I calculated now. I wouldn't pay more or less. We are both throwing as much money into this as we are willing to pay for a flat."

Wang Yue frowned. "What?"

"Whether we get two small flats on our own or one big flat together, won't change how much each of us pays."

"I guess it makes sense." Wang Yue understood that Ling Rui had done the math differently but that didn't change a thing. "But it still isn't fair if you have to pay more."

"It wouldn't be fair if you had to pay more than you can afford just because I want a more luxurious flat for us."

Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip, thinking this through. No matter what Ling Rui said, it wouldn't be fair if he had to pay so much more money for something they were supposed to use together. And Ling Rui had said, us, not me — like he really intended to share this flat with Wang Yue, instead of just letting Wang Yue live at his flat. What a crazy thought. "If you're paying two thirds, you should also get to use two thirds of the space."

"Xiao Yue." Ling Rui sighed. 

Ling Rui rarely ran out of patience, but Wang Yue suddenly felt like he was pushing his luck. He tensed when he remembered Ling Rui's outburst last night — the yelling, the tears, the shattered bowl. He wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that rage. But that wouldn't stop Wang Yue from being stubborn when he knew he was right. He crossed his arms.

"We'll share the flat and use everything together," Ling Rui explained, sounding weary.

"Then we should at least split the rent fifty-fifty."

"Can you afford half of that amount?" Ling Rui nodded towards the screen.

"Never," Wang Yue had to admit. He still needed money for Wang Chao's meals, clothes, and other things — like laundry detergent, his mind mockingly reminded him. Thinking about how he always ran out of money towards the end of month after spending all his savings last year, maybe he couldn't even afford as much as he had told Ling Rui. Maybe it was time to get more money. He had thought about it even before the water damage. "I can try to get a second job and—"

"You don't have to work yourself to death, Xiao Yue." Groaning, Ling Rui raked a hand through his hair, the long strands getting ruffled. "I don't know what I can do to make you understand that it is fine if I pay more," he mumbled more to himself than to Wang Yue.

"I just—" Wang Yue searched for a way to explain himself, getting frustrated since Ling Rui wouldn't understand his point of view. "I don't want to owe you something."

"You won't owe me anything, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui explained, placing his hand on Wang Yue's thigh. "I won't force you to pay more than you're willing to — neither now nor later. I'd never do that."

"I don't want to exploit you either," Wang Yue mumbled, averting his eyes. "I'm not with you because I want your money."

"You aren't exploiting me," Ling Rui replied. "I know that and would never assume anything else." Sighing, Ling Rui reached for Wang Yue's hand. For a moment, he just quietly touched Wang Yue's hand, tracing one finger after the other, brushing over his knuckles, stroking his palm. "We're looking for a flat together, and we're both honestly offering as much money as we want," Ling Rui repeated what he had already said before. "It doesn't have to be the same amount. You can't offer more, so you won't. And I can't offer more, so I won't. We just have to see what we can find with our combined budget." Ling Rui pulled his eyebrows closer together, their inner corners angled up. "Or do you not want to move in with me?"

"I do!" Wang Yue exclaimed, his heart hurting as he saw Ling Rui's pleading expression. He intertwined their fingers. "I really want to." He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I still feel like I'm exploiting you, though." He grimaced. "I'm sorry." Maybe he was too stubborn for his own good, making this more complicated than it had to be. 

"If it helps, I'm exploiting you just the same."

"What?"

"On my own, I couldn't pay so much rent." Ling Rui nodded towards the laptop. "Those are flats that neither of us could afford on our own. But we can afford it together." He squeezed Wang Yue's hand. "I can only take such big, luxurious flats into consideration because I'm relying on your money."

"Really?" Wang Yue whispered. He wanted to believe it, but it was difficult to imagine. He had always thought that Ling Rui was rich and had an endless amount of money. Obviously, Wang Yue knew it wasn't true. But he was so used to pinching pennies that everyone who could spend money without giving it a second thought, was endlessly rich in Wang Yue's eyes. 

"Really, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui confirmed. He was telling the truth. Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui could never tell a lie with such a straight face. "Also, this is our maximum budget. It doesn't mean we have to pay that much. Maybe we will find something nice that's a little bit cheaper."

Wang Yue narrowed his eyes. "If we find something cheaper, you'll pay less. You're still paying back your aunt's debt, aren't you?"

Ling Rui blinked as if he were surprised Wang Yue still remembered what he had only told him once. "I'm paying Fangning back in small monthly installments," Ling Rui explained. "It's not worth mentioning, really. And Xiao-gu is slowly paying me back, too."

"Still," Wang Yue insisted. "If we find something cheaper, you'll pay less." 

Ling Rui opened his mouth to object before pressing his lips together. Pondering, he frowned before he eventually sighed. "Alright." He sighed. "If we find something cheaper that we are both comfortable with, I'll pay less." He nodded. "But only unless we reach fifty-fifty. I won't let you pay more than I do. And no—" he pressed his fingertip against Wang Yue's lips "—that's not debatable. I'm serious." He pulled his hand back.

"Okay," Wang Yue replied, giving in to Ling Rui's unwavering determination. He still didn't feel completely happy with this result, but they had to come to a compromise if they wanted to make progress. Wang Yue's landlord had only given him an ultimatum of one week. The most important thing was to find a flat. Wang Yue could always worry about finding a second job to reduce Ling Rui's financial burden later.

The relieved smile on Ling Rui's lips was the most beautiful thing Wang Yue had seen today, and he already regretted his last thoughts. Maybe he needed to learn to accept generosity instead of pondering how to pay people back all the time.

"Thank you, Yue'er." 

Before Wang Yue could reply, Ling Rui had already leaned in to kiss him, and Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise. It had only been a short peck, but when Ling Rui leaned back, he licked his lips, and Wang Yue hungrily followed the movements with his eyes.

"Alright." Determined, Ling Rui pulled his laptop closer. "We should try to look for our perfect dream flat first before lowering our sights. What's important to you?"

"Uh." Wang Yue hadn't given it that much thought. He seriously just wanted an affordable flat that wasn't only a single room. "Two bedrooms?" he asked carefully. "A bedroom for my brother and a room for us. If you want to share!" Wang Yue added quickly. "It's fine if you want a room to retreat to."

"If possible, I want a bedroom for your brother, a bedroom for us, and a large living room," Ling Rui said, adjusting the settings of his search. 

Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise. Ling Rui really wanted a shared bedroom. It shouldn't come as such a surprise to Wang Yue, but it did. But could they even afford a large living room and two bedrooms?

"Won't that be too expensive?" he asked warily.

"We'll see," Ling Rui replied, smiling. "Like I said: Let's search for the perfect flat first. We can always look for alternatives afterwards."

Wang Yue hummed. It was true, but he just hoped that Ling Rui wouldn't be too disappointed if he couldn't find anything.

"What else?" Ling Rui asked, and Wang Yue was at a loss for words. He had never had the luxury to wish for anything else. But apparently, he didn't even need to say anything because Ling Rui had thought it all through. "It would be nice if it were located somewhere between the restaurant and the hospital so we won't have a long trip to work."

"I don't mind driving a bit longer." 

"I know, but maybe you won't have to." Pondering, Ling Rui rubbed his chin. "A balcony would be nice, but it's not necessary. I'll add it for now." Crossing his arms, Ling Rui stared at the screen. "A park to take walks or a playground for Wang Chao nearby would be great, but I can't really add that to the search. We'll have to check the surroundings of each flat. And it shouldn't be close to the main road, so it won't be loud. I don't want you to wake up early every morning because commuter traffic is too loud. And we shouldn't live on the top floor. I don't want you to get dizzy from the heat. And—"

"Okay, wait," Wang Yue called out to interrupt him. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you'll never find a flat with all these requirements."

"I can at least try," Ling Rui retorted, clicking on the search button. 

They both looked surprised when several results showed up.

***

They had spent the whole morning searching for flats, scrutinizing and analyzing pictures, and checking the neighborhoods. They had adjusted their search settings a few times and, in the end, they had found one flat that miraculously seemed to meet all of Ling Rui's requirements, and four flats that had little flaws in Ling Rui's eyes, but were still perfectly fine for Wang Yue. There had been two more flats that met all requirements except their budget, and Ling Rui had taken them into consideration until Wang Yue had protested. Ling Rui was already willing to pay twice as much as Wang Yue — he really shouldn't pay even more. Otherwise, Wang Yue wouldn't be able to reconcile with his conscience.

Begrudgingly, Ling Rui had accepted Wang Yue's decision and they had only messaged the landlords or real estate agencies of the first five flats. Wang Yue had been surprised how quickly Ling Rui had typed out the emails and how professional they sounded. 

Ling Rui had just turned off his laptop when someone knocked on the door.

"Yes?" 

"I'm reheating leftovers for lunch," Ling Zhu said without opening the door, "if you want some."

"Thanks!" Ling Rui called out. "We're coming." 

"Alright."

"Huh." Ling Rui blinked in surprise. "She remembered not to barge into my room."

"That's nice," Wang Yue mumbled. He was sincerely happy for Ling Rui, but his thoughts were drifting off. He was already dreading sitting at the table with everyone and eating lunch. Somehow, none of the family meals this week had gone particularly well. "I feel sick," he murmured.

"Do you know why?"

Wang Yue's gaze snapped towards Ling Rui as he realized that he had spoken out loud. "Ah." He cleared his throat, self-consciously raking his teeth over his bottom lip. "Just afraid things will get awkward again."

"If you're not feeling well, you can leave at any time."

Wang Yue huffed. It was a nice but ridiculous offer. "How? I can't just stand up and walk away without giving any explanation."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone will stare at me, and fuss about it, and ask questions, and—"

"Did anyone do that when Xiao-gu left during dinner yesterday?"

Wang Yue paused and frowned. Now that Ling Rui mentioned it, Wang Yue realized that no one had given it any second thought when Ling Yazhi had gone to her room with her bowl of beef stew. At least no one had mentioned it as far as Wang Yue knew — neither at the moment, nor afterwards. 

"I don't want you to feel trapped at the dining table, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui whispered. "No one is forcing you to be there." He took Wang Yue's hand to intertwine their fingers. "If you want, you can also stay here and I'll bring you some food."

Wang Yue released a breath and shook his head. He appreciated the offer, but it didn't feel right. It wasn't like him to hide. "I'll go with you."

Ling Rui's broad smile told Wang Yue that this had been the right decision. It felt good to do something right for once. 

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Zhu exclaimed as soon as they left the bedroom. "Are you alright?" She stepped closer and patted his cheek. "You looked so pale. I was worried!"

Guilt crept up Wang Yue's throat, but he took a deep breath and swallowed it down. "I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you."

"It's okay." Pulling her hand back, she smiled. "I'm just glad you're alright. Do you want beef stew or steamed buns for lunch?"

Protectively, Ling Rui stepped between them, and Wang Yue reflexively reached for the hem of Ling Rui's sweater, clinging to it. 

"We have leftover steamed buns?" Ling Rui asked.

"Yes," Ling Zhu replied. "The ones Da-jie bought."

"I ate them as a late lunch with Wang Yue yesterday," Ling Yunzhi said, and Wang Yue only now realized that she was home again, already sitting at the dining table next to her younger sister. "We can share again if you want."

"Only if there are enough left," Wang Yue replied hesitantly. He didn't intend to eat her food. "And if no one else wants—"

"You can eat whatever you want, Xiao Yue!" Ling Zhu said. "Don't hold back. You can choose first."

"Ma," Ling Rui whispered.

"What?" Frowning, she put her hands on her hips. For a moment she glared at Ling Rui, but then she sighed and turned around, mumbling. "What have I done now?"

Ling Rui inhaled to say something, but Wang Yue quickly pulled on the sleeve of his sweater to gain his attention. He shook his head, strands of hair falling into his eyes. He really didn't want them to fight again — especially not because of him. Ling Rui exhaled loudly but gave in, and Wang Yue squeezed his arm, silently thanking him.

Afterwards, Wang Yue went to the dining table and put his hands on Wang Chao's shoulders, standing behind him. "What do you want?"

"This!" Excitedly, Wang Chao pointed at the beef stew. 

"Alright." Wang Yue tried to reach for the ladle, but Ling Zhu was faster. 

"Let me do it," she insisted, and Wang Yue didn't even try to fight her. She really was set on spoiling his brother, and Wang Chao visibly enjoyed it. There was no reason to stop her.

Quietly, Wang Yue sat down at his place, mumbling his thanks as Ling Rui placed a glass in front of him. "Iced tea?" he asked, and Ling Rui nodded. Wang Yue took a sip. It was lemon flavored. 

"Good?" Ling Rui asked.

Wang Yue nodded. It wasn't too sweet. It was probably homemade and not store-bought.

"Who wants steamed buns?" Ling Yunzhi asked.

Patiently, Wang Yue waited, but everyone only shook their heads and reached for the beef stew instead. Hesitantly, he raised his hand, and Ling Yunzhi smiled. 

"There is one with pork filling, one with chicken, and two with vegetables," Ling Yunzhi explained. "Which ones do you want?"

"I don't mind," Wang Yue said, wanting her to choose first. "I eat everything."

"Well, I don't mind either," Ling Yunzhi replied, smiling calmly and patiently, even though there was a challenge reflected in her eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted Wang Yue to choose. Quietly, they stared at each other.

"Just—" Ling Zhu broke off her sentence, patting her lips as if scolding herself for speaking up. "Take you time to choose," she said more quietly. "I'll start eating before it gets cold."

Wang Yue felt weird as everyone began to eat while Ling Yunzhi still waited for his decision, Ling Yazhi eying them warily. Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. If he waited too long, the reheated buns would go cold again. The safest choice would be a vegetable bun since there were two of them left. Even if Ling Yunzhi secretly wanted to have that one, there would still be one left for her. But Ling Yunzhi was clever and attentive. She would notice it if Wang Yue didn't choose his favorite, and she would throw him that unbearable look of disappointment. She could do it as well as Ling Rui. Somehow, that would be even worse than accidentally choosing the bun she craved. It was her own fault for letting Wang Yue choose first, right? Sighing, he gave in.

"My favorite is pork," Wang Yue mumbled. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed Ling Rui pausing for a moment as if he were surprised that Wang Yue had admitted it.

Smiling, Ling Yunzhi held out the big plate with the four buns on it. "It's the one on your left."

"Thanks," Wang Yue reached for it. It was still hot and smelled delicious. Suddenly feeling greedy, he immediately took a large bite. It was as tasty as yesterday. Ling Zhu's obviously relieved expression made him a bit wary, but he tried his best to ignore her. He knew she was just worried. 

Ling Yunzhi picked a vegetable bun.

"Ma?" Ling Rui whispered. At first Wang Yue was afraid Ling Rui might scold her for her expression but then he noticed the hesitation in Ling Rui's voice and how he nervously fumbled with his spoon while avoiding her gaze.

"Yes?"

"Are you busy today?"

Ling Zhu blinked in surprise. "Not particularly, no. Why?"

"Can you cut my hair?" Ling Rui asked, and Wang Yue only now remembered their conversation from this morning. "It's gotten a bit long."

"Mine, too," Wang Yue blurted out. "If you don't mind," he added quickly. 

Ling Zhu's eyes teared up. "Yes, of course!" She nodded quickly. "I can take care of it after lunch."

"Thank you, Ma," Ling Rui replied, and they smiled at each other. 

Wang Yue felt relieved that those two really seemed to be getting along again. Without thinking, he reached for the chicken bun, even though he hadn't finished his pork bun yet. But he wanted to save the best for last. Ling Yunzhi smiled proudly, dimples appearing on her cheeks. She really resembled Ling Rui.

 

Notes:

It takes time, but Wang Yue is slowly getting better.

Did you enjoy this chapter? Lately, I'm struggling a lot to edit this fic.

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Chapter 16: Courageous (Friday, April 2nd)

Summary:

After searching for new flats all morning, it's time for a haircut.

Notes:

This chapter made me regret that I decided to use chapter titles in this fic because I couldn't come up with anything.

7,6k words

After lunch, Ling Rui wetted his hair and sat down on a chair in the living room to let his mother cut it. Wang Yue was surprised by how professional she looked doing it. She didn't only have a comb and scissors, but also a razor to cut the hair at the nape of Ling Rui's neck. The sisters Ling Yunzhi and Ling Yazhi were sitting on the couch, both engrossed in their phones while mindlessly snacking on some sunflower seeds. 

Wang Yue used the time to play with his brother, who excitedly spread his Memory game cards on the floor. As always, Wang Yue tried to let his brother win without making his loss too obvious. He still had a guilty conscience for neglecting his brother so much this week, but Wang Chao was happy and cheerful, not carrying any grudges. He looked healthier than ever, and Wang Yue silently vowed to himself to spoil his brother more in the future — like Ling Zhu did. He would have started today since he had finally gotten his pay yesterday, but with all the uncertainties about his living situation, Wang Yue had decided to save his money for now, even though it still wasn't easy to depend on the Ling family like this. He tried his best to accept their generosity now and would make it up to them when he got a chance in the future. 

While playing Memory with his brother, Wang Yue let his thoughts drift. Fondly, he remembered waking up with Ling Rui by his side this morning and then using the bathroom together. It was something so simple and mundane, but Wang Yue longed for that peaceful togetherness. He knew that not every day would be like this even if they moved in together. Ling Rui would still have to leave early for work in the mornings while Wang Yue was catching up on sleep after delivering meals until late into the night.

But he wondered if it would be okay to let Wang Chao stay with the Ling family for a weekend every now and then after moving out. Wang Yue could never abandon his brother, but Wang Chao liked being here, Ling Zhu enjoyed spoiling him, and Wang Yue and Ling Rui would surely find a way to make good use of their free time. 

Subconsciously, Wang Yue remembered how Ling Rui had fucked him Monday night. By now, he really regretted that he had been so obsessed with making Ling Rui come that he had denied chasing his own pleasure. In hindsight, it felt like a wasted opportunity. And Wang Yue had no idea when he would get his next chance. It had been so long since his last orgasm. He really couldn't even remember anymore when it had been. He only remembered all the times it hadn't worked out because they had gotten interrupted or because they hadn't been able to meet in the first place. 

Wang Yue knew that jerking off on his own was an option. Even though he preferred sex with a partner, he had often done it by himself while dating Meilin. But lately, he had wanted to save himself for Ling Rui. It felt wrong to do something without him, even though Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui wouldn't mind. 

Furthermore, ever since living with the Ling family, it felt like he didn't have enough privacy to even try and jerk off. He never was alone — not even in the shower because he helped his brother wash himself. And after work when everyone was asleep Wang Yue would feel weird for sneaking into the bathroom to masturbate. He was too scared of getting caught in case someone had to use the toilet at night, even if he locked the door. And the thin walls were another problem. 

Doing it in bed right next to a sleeping Ling Rui would be more torture than anything else. Being so close to Ling Rui, Wang Yue would want to get intimate with him instead of making do with his own hand. He wanted to touch Ling Rui and make him come, watch his face getting torn by pleasure as he praised Wang Yue for his skills. And he wanted to be touched by Ling Rui, feel his long fingers all over his body, stroking his skin and massaging his nipples. 

Wang Yue wanted to get fucked by Ling Rui. 

He wanted to suck on Ling Rui's cock, making him moan and squirm as he traced the prominent vein on the underside before he teased his slit until Ling Rui went wild from arousal, grabbed Wang Yue's hips to flip him around and bury his thick cock deep inside his ass, fucking him rough and hard.

"Xiao Yue?"

Wang Yue yelped loudly when he heard Ling Zhu's voice. Starled out of his thoughts, he dropped the Memory card he had been turning around. He had no recollection of how the game was going but knew that the chances were high that he had mindlessly flipped over the same two cards again and again. 

Feeling his cheeks heating up, he turned his attention towards Ling Zhu. He knew there was no way that she could read his mind, but he still felt utterly ashamed for having dirty thoughts while being in the same room as Ling Rui's family.

"Yeah?" Shit. Was his voice as raspy as it sounded in his own ears?

"It's your turn." Smiling, Ling Zhu patted the chair where Ling Rui had still been sitting a moment ago.

"Oh." Wang Yue's eyes darted to the side until he spotted Ling Rui. His hair was shorter than before but more important was that it was still wet, clinging to his skin like when he was sweaty after an especially intense make out session. Subconsciously, Wang Yue licked his lips, longing to kiss Ling Rui's neck and feel the soft and delicate skin. He wanted to suck on it, making Ling Rui squirm, giggle, and half-heartedly remind Wang Yue to not leave any marks. He craved to rake his teeth over Ling Rui's neck, making him gasp in surprise and shudder from pleasure.

Suddenly, Ling Rui's cheeks flushed as he stared at Wang Yue with wide eyes, and for a moment Wang Yue wondered if he had spoken his thoughts out loud.

"He needs to wet his hair first, right?" Ling Rui mumbled, his eyes glued to Wang Yue's face as he stepped closer. 

"Yes, of course," Ling Zhu replied. "That makes it easier to cut it evenly."

"We can go to the bathroom together," Ling Rui suggested, already standing right in front of Wang Yue. "I've gotta dry my hair anyway." 

Out of the corner of his eye, Wang Yue noticed Ling Rui's aunts peeking over their phones to watch them —Ling Yazhi giggling— but Wang Yue's brain didn't have any free capacity to think about them. Since he still sat on the floor, he had to bend his neck to look up to Ling Rui. He looked even taller than usual. To relax his neck, Wang Yue let his eyes drift further down again until they got caught at Ling Rui's groin. It took all of his self-restraint to refrain from raising Ling Rui's long sweatshirt to nuzzle his face against his dick, only covered by these tight black sweatpants. 

He gasped when Ling Rui leaned down to grab his wrist and pulled him up from the floor without warning. Wang Yue's legs reflexively worked, following Ling Rui as he basically ran to the bathroom.  

Ling Rui slammed the door shut as soon as they were inside —the sound horribly loud in this badly soundproofed flat— and pressed Wang Yue against it, his thigh between Wang Yue's legs. His body was hot, and he panted heavily, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned down to whisper into Wang Yue's ear.

"You're aroused."

Well, if he hadn't been aroused before, he certainly would be now.

A shudder went through Wang Yue's body and he grabbed Ling Rui's sweatshirt as he felt his knees going weak. He inhaled sharply, trying to ignore Ling Rui's hot breath against his neck.

"We can't," Wang Yue whispered, even though his body didn't agree with him, his hips reflexively pressing against Ling Rui's thigh. His dick twitched and pulsed in interest. "They'll notice."

Groaning, Ling Rui buried his face in the crook of Wang Yue's neck. "I know," he dragged out the word with a whine, reluctantly pulling his thigh back. Wang Yue bit back a disappointed whimper as he couldn't rub against it anymore. "But it's been so long since you've been so aroused."

Wang Yue tried to chuckle, but it sounded more like a breathless gasp. "I was horny this morning."

"No," Ling Rui denied. "That was different."

He raised his head and cupped Wang Yue's cheek. His palm was hot. "I could see the fire of arousal in your eyes just now," he whispered, and Wang Yue felt heat pooling inside his stomach. "Do you have any idea how you looked at me? Such an intense gaze. It felt like you wanted to undress me on the spot." Ling Rui swallowed, his eyes drifting to Wang Yue's lips. "That came out of nowhere. It was different than this morning when you watched me changing my clothes." 

Wang Yue took a deep breath, forcing himself to avoid Ling Rui's intense gaze. Had his arousal really been so obvious? Hopefully no one else had noticed. But thinking about Ling Yazhi's grin and about how attentive Ling Yunzhi was in general, Wang Yue suddenly didn't have much hope to have remained unnoticed. Wang Yue's mind was swirling. His body knew exactly what it wanted, but they had to be reasonable now.

"Your mother is waiting for me," Wang Yue whispered.

Ling Rui groaned, and his arms slid away from the door, to hang down loosely, his forehead resting on Wang Yue's shoulder. "Way to kill my arousal."

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized, putting his hands on Ling Rui's shoulders. Should he have given in? But Ling Rui would surely regret it later if his family teased him about it again. Furthermore, it really wouldn't be polite to make Ling Zhu wait. 

"No, no." Ling Rui raised his head and took a step back, Wang Yue's hands slipping from his shoulders. "I'm sorry for dragging you into here."

"I appreciate the thought." Wang Yue leaned up to kiss Ling Rui's cheek. "I like it when you manhandle me like this," he couldn't help but add in a whisper.

His eyes went wide when Ling Rui grabbed his wrist and pulled him in, their lips crashing together, teeth clicking against each other. Groaning, Wang Yue closed his eyes and gave in, meeting Ling Rui's tongue in the middle. Ling Rui's thumb rubbed over the sensitive inside of Wang Yue's wrist.

Clinging to Ling Rui's sweatshirt with his free hand, Wang Yue angled his head to deepen their kiss. Ling Rui moaned, his hand on Wang Yue's lower back to push him closer, their dicks pressing against each other. 

Gasping, they both broke the kiss at the same time, remembering that they had just agreed to be reasonable and not make out. 

"Fuck," Wang Yue whispered. Too aroused to resist, he leaned in and sucked on Ling Rui's neck, making him yelp first and then moan as he nibbled on the soft skin. Ling Rui's sounds were like music to Wang Yue's ear. He could listen to them all day, but they didn't have time for that. Reluctantly, Wang Yue leaned back, but as he spotted the red mark on the pale skin, he couldn't help but lick a long stripe over it. 

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed, scandalized and no doubt loud enough to be heard throughout the whole flat. Slapping a hand against his neck, he took a step back. His cheeks were bright red, and even though he tried to glare at Wang Yue, the arousal in his eyes was undeniable.

Snorting, Wang Yue sneaked around Ling Rui and went to the sink. After turning on the faucet, he leaned down to hold his head under the water to wet his hair. Maybe using the shower to do this would have been easier, but Wang Yue hadn't been thinking. How could he when his mind was filled with dirty thoughts? The cold water hadn't done much to help yet.

Meanwhile, Ling Rui was suspiciously quiet. When Wang Yue turned off the faucet and leaned back up, he looked at Ling Rui through their reflection in the mirror. Ling Rui's eyes were turned downwards, no doubt staring at Wang Yue's ass. Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath. He was glad Ling Rui still found him —or at least parts of him— attractive enough to stare at. 

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat, and Ling Rui's gaze snapped back up, his cheeks heating up as he felt caught. 

"Sorry!" Ling Rui apologized. 

"I don't mind," Wang Yue replied sincerely. In any other setting he would have made the best of the situation and gladly entrusted his ass to Ling Rui, but Ling Zhu was still on the other side of the thin door, waiting for him. 

A drop of water ran down the nape of Wang Yue's neck, and he shuddered.

"Your hair is dripping." Tentatively, Ling Rui reached for a towel and lightly dried Wang Yue's hair, his fingertips massaging his scalp. Wang Yue closed his eyes and let it happen until the towel was placed around his shoulders. "Done."

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled.

Awkwardly, they stood in front of each other like two teenagers unwilling to part ways after their first date. It was ridiculous. Nervously, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip.

"Go," Ling Rui whispered eventually, "before I really lose my self-control and do something we might regret."

For a moment, Wang Yue was tempted to set reason aside. It would be so easy to give in to the sweet temptation and just enjoy the moment without thinking about the consequences. But lately, Wang Yue always thought about consequences. Sighing, he turned around and left.

All eyes were on him when he exited the bathroom, and Wang Yue felt like he was doing a walk of shame even though they hadn't even done anything. Maybe they should have done something if he was receiving these smirking gazes and obvious giggles anyway.

"That was quick," Ling Yazhi teased.

"I just wet my hair," Wang Yue retorted with all the stoic composure he could come up with. It seemed to work because the smirk fell from Ling Yazhi's face, disappointment taking its place. Pouting, she ignored Wang Yue and busied herself with her phone again.

"Come here, Xiao Yue," Ling Zhu said, nodding towards the chair standing in the middle of the living room. A broom was leaning against the dining table, most of Ling Rui's cut off hair already swept up.

Wang Yue obediently sat down, hearing the sounds of the hair dryer coming from the bathroom. Wang Chao was playing with his favorite yellow toy car.

"Is there any particular haircut you'd like?" Ling Zhu asked, carefully combing his hair. 

"Just a bit shorter so it will stop falling into my eyes."

"Alright," Ling Zhu replied and got to work.

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue tried his best to think about nothing and especially not about how amazing Ling Rui's firm thigh had felt, pressing against his cock. Knowing that his thoughts were about to drift into dangerous territory again, he opened his eyes and met Ling Yunzhi's gaze by chance. It took him less than a second to remember how good Ling Yunzhi was at reading someone's mind, and he felt his face paling. It couldn't be that she had realized what had been on his mind the whole time, could it? She smiled, amused, and reached for a sunflower seed. Wang Yue averted his gaze, wishing the ground would open and swallow him up.

When Ling Rui returned from the bathroom —his hair combed and dried— his cheeks weren't flushed anymore, but the red mark on his neck remained. Ling Yazhi squeaked, tapping her sister's arm to gain her attention, but Ling Yunzhi looked unimpressed and Ling Rui threw his younger aunt such a murderous glare that she pressed her lips together and hid her face behind her phone. Ling Zhu was too focused on her task to even notice anything.

Wang Yue relaxed. At least no one teased them this time.

Ling Rui sat down on the floor to play with Wang Chao, and Wang Yue felt his heart warming. He knew that Ling Rui not only accepted Wang Chao but also got along with him well, but it still got to him whenever he saw how much Ling Rui really cared. 

"Don't move," Ling Zhu whispered, grabbing Wang Yue's chin to turn his head back into its original position.

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled. He shouldn't get distracted while she was cutting his hair.

"There's a new aquarium opening up," Ling Yunzhi suddenly said, her eyes on her phone. "We should check it out."

"Not interested," Ling Yazhi mumbled. 

"The cafe is offering an all-you-can-eat cake buffet tomorrow to mark the occasion," Ling Yunzhi added.

"I'm in," Ling Yazhi corrected immediately.

"Sure," Ling Rui said. "I think that's—"

"No," Ling Yunzhi interrupted him, even though she usually let people finish. "You're exhausted after working so much, you should stay home." Her eyes snapped to Wang Yue. "We'll probably be there the whole day, so you should stay home, too. Otherwise, you might be late for work." Wang Yue didn't care about the aquarium, but he was taken aback that she didn't want him to come along. Before anyone could say anything, she addressed Wang Chao. "Do you want to go and look at fish with your Ayis?"

"Yes!" Wang Chao exclaimed, full of excitement. "Fish!"

"I think I'll stay home," Ling Zhu said. "I could use the time to clean and—"

"Did you hear that, Wang Chao?" Ling Yunzhi asked. "Your Ayi doesn't want to accompany you." She nodded towards Ling Zhu.

"Ayi!" Wang Chao called out. "The fish! Let's look at fish! Please!"

Ling Zhu sighed while smiling. "If Chao'er wants me to come, I've got no choice."

"Yay!" Wang Chao clapped his hands.

"Good." Ling Yunzhi crossed her legs, a satisfied smile on her lips. "Then we'll go to the aquarium with Wang Chao tomorrow, ladies."

It took Wang Yue a moment to realize that she had just organized a day for Ling Rui and Wang Yue to spend alone at home. He should have known. She had always been on his side. 

"Don't waste the chance," Ling Yunzhi mumbled to no one in particular, but Ling Rui immediately blushed, red up to the tips of his ears.

"Da-gu!"

"What chance?" Ling Zhu asked while Ling Yazhi slid further down on the couch, hiding behind her phone, giggling. Ling Zhu frowned, looking from one person to the next, but no one filled her in. After being irritated for a moment, she shrugged her shoulders and continued to cut Wang Yue's bangs.

Wang Yue gulped, trying not to get too excited for tomorrow. He also had to make sure to return the money Ling Yunzhi would spend on Wang Chao's entrance ticket.

When Ling Rui's phone suddenly rang, Ling Yunzhi narrowed her eyes.

"This better not be the hospital calling you to work on your day off," she mumbled.

"Da-gu." Ling Rui sighed. "Even if — that's my job." He took his phone out of his pocket and frowned. "Yes? Hello," he said, picking up the call. "This is Ling Rui speaking." 

Wang Yue tried to peek at Ling Rui's expression, but his hair was obscuring his view as Ling Zhu continued to cut it. It didn't sound like someone from work had called.

"Yes, of course, we're still interested," Ling Rui said politely. 

Who was still interested in what?

"Today?" Ling Rui repeated, sounding surprised. "At three o'clock?" Wang Yue noticed how Ling Rui moved his arm to check his watch. "Ah, no, it's fine. We'll be there. Thanks! See you then." Ling Rui ended the call. "It was one of the real estate agents we messaged this morning."

"Oh." Wang Yue's ears perked up. "Which one?"

"Hm, the second to last one," Ling Rui explained. "The flat that was close to the hospital."

Wang Yue remembered. It hadn't been Ling Rui's first choice since it was located on a main road, but it was close to the hospital and the cheapest of all the flats they had applied for. "Sweet." Wang Yue almost couldn't believe they had so much luck. "How late is it? Will we make it on time?"

"We can go once ma finishes cutting your hair." Ling Rui turned his attention to look at Wang Chao. "Will you come with us to take a look at a potential new home?" Ling Rui smiled when Wang Chao nodded. "Then we should get you changed into some other clothes."

"Ah, I can do that when—"

"It's fine, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui replied, already standing up. "I can help him change. It's no trouble."

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled. Ling Rui shouldn't have to do what was Wang Yue's task. 

"It's fine," Ling Rui repeated. "I don't mind at all."

"Sorry," Wang Yue couldn't help but say again. Ling Rui was already doing so much for him.

"You're supposed to say, thank you, in these situations," Ling Yunzhi commented without looking up. 

"Thanks," Wang Yue said, knowing that she was right. Why was it always so difficult for him to accept help?

"You're really moving out, huh," Ling Zhu mumbled more to herself than to anyone else.

Before Ling Rui had any chance to reply, his phone rang again. 

"Yes?" he said after picking it up. "Oh! Sorry, I thought someone else was calling. Yes, this is Ling Rui speaking." He paused for a moment, listening to the person on the other side of the call. "At seven o'clock," he mumbled, walking over to Wang Yue with a frown on his face. "Would it also be possible to come a bit earlier? I think my boyfriend has to work at that time."

Wang Yue couldn't help but blush every time Ling Rui called him his boyfriend. It still felt unreal and too good to be true.

"Ah, I see," Ling Rui replied, sounding a bit crestfallen. "No, it's fine. Maybe we'll find a way. Otherwise I'll come alone. Yes, thank you. See you tonight."

"Another?" Wang Yue asked once Ling Rui had ended the call.

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed. "Can you go to work later tonight?"

"No chance," Wang Yue replied. "It's Friday night." Friday and Saturday nights were always the busiest. His boss would be so mad if he showed up late.

Ling Rui sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that."

"Sorry," Wang Yue mumbled. He really was making Ling Rui do all the work today.

"It's okay. I can take a look and tell you about everything later."

"I trust your judgment." Wang Yue had already decided to choose whichever flat Ling Rui wanted to have. Wang Yue was fine with everything. After living in his shabby flat for years, everything else would be luxury. He couldn't complain. The most important thing was that Ling Rui wouldn't regret his choice. 

Ling Rui smiled before turning his attention back to Wang Chao. "Come on. Let's change our clothes."

Wang Yue patiently waited for Ling Zhu to finish cutting his hair while Ling Rui and Wang Chao went to the bedroom. As soon as they returned, Wang Chao sat back down on the floor to play with his toy cars again, making two of them race against each other. 

"I think I'm done," Ling Zhu said a short moment later. She walked around Wang Yue, checking his hair from every angle.

"Looks good," Ling Rui confirmed. 

"Sorry for the trouble," Wang Yue said to Ling Zhu. "I owe you."

"Nonsense! It was my pleasure." Not accepting any denial, Ling Zhu sternly looked at Wang Yue.

"Sorry," Wang Yue subconsciously apologized again, and Ling Yunzhi loudly cleared her throat. "Thanks!" Wang Yue exclaimed, and Ling Yunzhi smiled contentedly. He still felt like he had to make it up to Ling Zhu somehow, though. 

"Get changed," Ling Zhu said, taking the towel away from Wang Yue and brushing some cut off hair from his clothes. "I'll clean up here."

"I can help." Looking around, Wang Yue searched for the broom.

"It's fine," Ling Zhu said, taking the broom right out of his hands as soon as he had grabbed it. "You've got an appointment, don't you? Go, go!" She waved with her hand, signaling him to leave.

Groaning, Wang Yue gave in, biting back another apology. He quickly changed his clothes in Ling Rui's bedroom before hurrying back into the living room. "Alright, let's go." He crouched down to get Wang Chao's attention. "We've gotta go now. You can play later."

Wang Chao pouted for a moment before getting up, still holding his yellow toy car. When Wang Yue tried to take it away from him, Wang Chao clung to it. "No!"

"Alright." Wang Yue sighed. "You can take it with you." He looked his brother in the eyes. "But be careful not to lose it."

Wang Chao nodded, and Wang Yue already made a mental note to keep an eye on it. 

"You don't want to dry your hair first?" Ling Rui asked, but Wang Yue refused. He never blow-dried his hair. Electricity was too expensive. 

"I'm fine." He slipped into his denim jacket and wrapped his scarf around his neck. "Let's go."

 

---

 

They drove to their destination and would have arrived on time if they had immediately found a free parking space. After driving around the block three times, Ling Rui decided to check the side streets and finally managed to park his car. The street was dark and kind of dubious, littered with rubbish. They got out of the car and hurried towards the flat, the wind cold against Wang Yue's skin as he led his brother along, a hand on his back. Ling Rui was wearing his scarf and beige coat —his mother had washed it yesterday morning— and Wang Yue deliberately walked a step behind him, never getting tired of staring at him. Ling Rui just looked too attractive with this coat. It accentuated his long legs and made him seem even taller. Even though he was tall himself, Wang Yue had always been attracted to taller people. Somehow, it made him feel safe.  

"We're here," Ling Rui said, and Wang Yue reluctantly averted his eyes from him. 

The building was big, the white facade looking freshly painted and almost out of place next to the other old, unrenovated houses. A truck passed by, the sidewalk vibrating under their feet, the windows rattling. Wang Yue narrowed his eyes. Something about this house seemed fake. From afar it looked shiny and new, but under the white paint it was probably way older than expected. The front door was open, people hustling in and out like at a busy train station during rush hour, bumping into each other before exchanging angry glares. 

"The real estate agent said we'd meet on the third floor," Ling Rui explained.

"'kay." Somehow, Wang Yue had a bad feeling about this. He took a deep breath. The air smelled like fumes and asphalt.

They went up the stairs, and it quickly turned out that they weren't the only people at this open house. There were young adults, elderly people, and couples — with and without children. It was loud and crowded. How were they supposed to get this flat if so many others wanted it, too? If the landlord had so many people to choose from, he would never choose Wang Yue. Who in their right mind would ever choose him anyway? Maybe it was good that Ling Rui had messaged the real estate agents and left his phone number when they had applied for flats this morning.

A woman with a crying baby rushed by, and Wang Yue took a step to the side to get out of the way.

"Stay close to me," he said to his brother, who nodded, clinging to his toy car with both hands. Wang Chao looked overwhelmed, his eyes nervously drifting from one person to the next. He wasn't used to being in crowds. The last time he had been surrounded by so many people had been in autumn when they had visited that local fair. Wang Yue sucked in a sharp breath before his thoughts could drift off. Now really wasn't the time to remember the night he had abandoned his brother.

"Excuse me," Ling Rui called out, walking towards some important looking guy in a navy blue suit who had just finished talking to a couple. Wang Yue waited at a safe distance, not in the mood to talk to strangers and afraid to make a bad first impression because of it. "Are you the real estate agent?"

"Yes." The guy turned around with a smile so bright that it looked as fake as the facade of the house. How much had he paid to bleach his teeth to be this white? "And you are?" Raising an eyebrow, he critically eyed Ling Rui from top to bottom.

"Ling Rui."

"Ah, the doctor." The real estate agent smirked knowingly. "Take your time to look around first. We can talk after you've seen everything."

"Thank you," Ling Rui replied politely. 

Wang Yue couldn't pinpoint why, but he didn't like the guy. Something about him was off. Maybe it was his slimy grin, his hair that looked greasy because of all the hair gel he had been using to comb it back, or his noxious perfume that was so strong that Wang Yue could even smell it from a distance. He looked like a sly asshole who worked for landlords who owned more buildings than they could count and only rented out flats for fun and not because they needed the money. 

Ling Rui nodded towards one of the doors and Wang Yue quickly pulled his brother along to follow Ling Rui while peeking at the real estate agent. He was already smiling at the next person, exchanging artificial pleasantries. Silently, Wang Yue told himself that they only needed to like the flat and not the real estate agent. They wouldn't see the guy often anyway. 

On the left side of the hallway were two rooms of the same size that they could use as bedrooms for themselves and for Wang Chao. They weren't big, but they would spend most of the day in the living room anyway. Ling Rui tried to take a closer look, but with all the other people going back and forth, he didn't stand a chance. Without any furniture in the rooms, it was a bit difficult for Wang Yue to imagine living here, but everything looked newly renovated and clean — except for the floor, but that was unavoidable with all the people and their dirty shoes. Ling Rui should like this flat. 

Wang Yue heard the cars passing by on the street outside, but it was probably only because the windows were open.

The right side of the hallway led to a well-lit bathroom with a shower and a bathtub. Wang Yue really didn't know why people needed both, but Ling Rui had been very happy about it when they had looked at the photos of the flat this morning. Unfortunately, this room was filled with people, too, feeling even more crowded because it was smaller.

"Let's take a look at the kitchen," Ling Rui suggested, and they went back to the spacious living room.

When the real estate agent rushed past them, he knocked his shoulder against Wang Chao's. Wang Chao gasped, dropping his toy car as he stumbled and almost fell.

"Can't you watch where you're going?!" the real estate agent spit out angrily. 

Frantically, Wang Chao looked left and right. "Oh, no. Where are you, little toy car? Di said— Di said I can't lose you!"

"And now you're ignoring me?!" the real estate agent complained. Glaring at Wang Chao, he clicked his tongue before he turned around to leave. "Imbecile," he mumbled angrily.

Ling Rui looked ready to teach that guy a lesson, his expression mad, but Wang Yue was faster.

"Hey!" Wang Yue called out. Crossing his arms, he blocked the real estate agent's way. "Apologize to my brother." He nodded towards Wang Chao, who was still looking around, searching for his toy car.

The real estate agent followed Wang Yue's line of sight before rolling his eyes. "Me? If anything he should apologize for running into me!" 

"You clearly bumped into him," Wang Yue corrected the obvious lie. "And he dropped his toy because of you."

"And? Nothing happened," the guy said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. "He can just pick it up again." As he tried to walk away, Wang Yue took a step to the side and blocked his way again.

"Apologize," Wang Yue insisted, narrowing his eyes.

"Who do you think you are, talking to me with such an attitude?" The real estate agent huffed, putting a hand on his hip. "You know what? I don't even care who you are, but you sure as hell won't get this flat if you can't even show me some respect!"

"Maybe you should learn to respect others first," Wang Yue replied, his voice strict and his expression stern. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how Ling Rui had picked up the toy car and handed it back to Wang Chao, reassuringly squeezing his shoulder. 

The other interested parties started to murmur, looking at the real estate agent and Wang Yue. Wang Yue kept his arms crossed, waiting for the real estate agent's apology. He didn't expect to get one, but he couldn't just quietly stand by and watch how the guy looked down on his brother.

The real estate agent huffed and pointed towards the door. "Get out of here before I call the police!"

Wang Yue couldn't believe the attitude of that asshole. But this idiot wasn't worth the time and effort. "Whatever." With a huff, Wang Yue turned around. "I didn't like it here anyway." He went to his brother and Ling Rui. "Let's go," he whispered.

But Ling Rui remained unmoving, silently glaring daggers at the real estate agent. 

"He's not worth it," Wang Yue mumbled. "Come on." Grabbing Ling Rui's arm, he softly but insistently urged him towards the door. Fortunately, Ling Rui let himself get pulled along without saying another word. But he kept looking back over his shoulder, his eyes remaining on the real estate agent until they had left the flat. 

 

---

 

"I'm so mad!" Ling Rui exclaimed the moment he slid into the driver's seat. He had angrily stomped the whole way from the flat to the car, Wang Yue and Wang Chao barely managing to keep up with his speed. Those long legs weren't just for show.

Wang Yue snorted. Despite the situation, Ling Rui's pouting face was just too cute. 

Arms crossed, Ling Rui turned around to look at the brothers in the backseat. "I can't believe that guy!"

Wang Yue huffed. "You would be surprised how many people are like him." It wasn't the first time Wang Yue had been disappointed in humanity. Soothingly, he stroked Wang Chao's arm. "Are you alright?"

"Da-ge found it!" Wang Chao exclaimed, holding his toy car with two hands. "I didn't lose it!"

"That's great." At least, Wang Chao didn't seem to have realized what an asshole that guy had been. "I'm glad you're alright," he whispered, patting Wang Chao's shoulder before letting go.

"I'm still mad!" Ling Rui repeated. Apparently, he didn't know how to handle his rage. Pouting, he peeked at Wang Yue. "Why aren't you patting my shoulder to comfort me?"

"What?" Wang Yue stared at Ling Rui in surprise. Surely, he must have misheard that. But Ling Rui's cheeks only flared up in embarrassment, proving that Wang Yue hadn't misheard after all. 

"Forget it," Ling Rui said, about to turned back around, "I—"

Cupping Ling Rui's jaw, Wang Yue leaned forward and pulled Ling Rui's face towards his to press their lips together. Ling Rui gasped in surprise, but willingly parted his lips when Wang Yue pushed his tongue into his mouth. Wang Chao laughed and happily clapped his hands, and Wang Yue could feel Ling Rui pulling back in embarrassment. Reluctantly, Wang Yue let him go. He wanted to kiss him some more.

"I'm glad you're alright, Doctor Ling," Wang Yue said teasingly, patting Ling Rui's shoulder. 

Groaning, Ling Rui slid further down in the driver seat, burying his face in his hands. Before he could recover from his embarrassment, his phone rang. Sighing, he fished it out of his coat pocket. "Another number I don't recognize," he mumbled. "Hello. This is Ling Rui speaking."

Wang Yue leaned forward, hoping to catch what the other person was saying, but the sound of the passing cars on the main road was too loud, even though they were in a side street. Wang Yue regretted that Ling Rui couldn't have gotten this flat because he had antagonized the real estate agent, but maybe it was a good thing. The neighborhood was too loud and the flat had looked more fake than luxurious anyway.

"Yes that is correct," Ling Rui said politely, and Wang Yue couldn't help but be curious what he was talking about. Was it another real estate agent? It had to be. Ling Rui never got any calls from strangers out of the blue. "Today at five o'clock?" he repeated, throwing Wang Yue a questioning gaze. Quickly, Wang Yue nodded. Why not? They had nothing to lose. "No, it's not too sudden. Don't worry. We'll be there. Thank you for your time. See you soon." 

"Another flat?" Wang Yue asked once Ling Rui had ended the call.

"Our second favorite choice!" Ling Rui exclaimed excitedly. "And the apartment owner sounded like a lovely old lady."

"Huh." Wang Yue couldn't believe their luck. "Well, it can only get better than whatever this was." He vaguely nodded towards the direction of the flat they had just visited.

"Let's get out of here." Ling Rui sighed. "Driving home would be a waste of time, so how about we get there early and check out the neighborhood?"

"Sure," Wang Yue confirmed, helping his brother fasten his seatbelt. 

 

---

 

This time, they immediately found a parking space close to the house. They got out of the car, and Ling Rui opened the navigation app on his phone. "There should be a park further down the street." He nodded towards it. 

"Let's check it out," Wang Yue replied. 

It only took them five minutes to reach the park Ling Rui had mentioned. Some couples were taking a walk, others were jogging. Wang Yue's legs itched. It had only been three days since he had last gone running, but it felt like too long ago. If they moved into this flat, he could often come here to run. 

"Di, look!" Wang Chao called out, excitedly pointing to his left.

"It's a playground," Ling Rui mumbled in realization.

"Can I play?" Wang Chao asked, and Wang Yue turned to look at Ling Rui. 

Surprised, Ling Rui blinked. "Why are you looking at me?"

"I don't know if you wanted to walk somewhere else or—" Vaguely, Wang Yue gestured with his hands.

Smiling, Ling Rui shook his head. "Let him play if he wants. We can always take a look around some other time."

Hopefully, Wang Chao looked at his brother.

Wang Yue nodded. "Go and have fun."

Happily, Wang Chao ran towards the playground and crouched down in the sandbox. Wang Yue could only hope that he wouldn't carry too much dirt into Ling Rui's car and home. 

Another jogger passed by them and Wang Yue followed him with his eyes full of longing. 

"Would you like to go running here?" Ling Rui asked, his hands buried in his pockets.

"Huh?" Wang Yue blinked. "I don't think we have time for that."

"Not now." Ling Rui chuckled, the tip of his nose red. Was he cold? "In general, I mean. If we lived here." 

Wang Yue hummed. "Yeah. It's a nice park." There were several paths leading through the park, some of them close to the playground. He would probably even be able to do some laps while keeping an eye on Wang Chao. It looked very promising.

"Shall we sit down?" Ling Rui asked, nodding towards a bench.

"Sure," Wang Yue replied, even though he would have preferred to take a walk. 

"How's your knee?" Ling Rui asked as they sat down. "You didn't strain it too much while walking, did you?"

"It's fine." Wang Yue hadn't even thought about it anymore, but that explained why Ling Rui wanted to sit.

"Let me take another look later anyway."

"You're worrying too much," Wang Yue replied. "It's fine."

"Let the doctor decide that."

Rolling his eyes, Wang Yue leaned back, stretching his arms on the backrest. He knew that Ling Rui was worried and only meant well. In that regard he was just like his mother. Always fussing because they couldn't stop worrying. But it made Wang Yue's heart beat faster anyway. He wasn't used to other people caring about him to such a degree. 

Ling Rui shuddered.

"Cold?" Wang Yue asked. The wind had picked up again.

"A bit," Ling Rui mumbled. Taking out a handkerchief, he wiped his nose. It looked red from the cold. Afterwards, he put the handkerchief away again and pulled his scarf further up. He was wearing the same black and gray striped scarf as Wang Yue. Wang Yue repeatedly had to remind himself that they weren't wearing a couple look. Ling Rui had simply had enough yarn to knit two scarves. 

Maybe they should have taken a walk after all if Ling Rui was cold. Scooting closer until their thighs were pressed together, Wang Yue put an arm around Ling Rui, hoping to warm him up. Ling Rui smiled, appreciating the gesture, even though Wang Yue wasn't sure if it really helped. 

"I was too mad to say it earlier, but it was really impressive how you stood up for your brother," Ling Rui said all of a sudden, and Wang Yue was taken aback.

"It's nothing."

"No. You were amazing." Ling Rui swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Attractive."

Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Wang Yue tried to accept the praise. He really didn't feel like he had done anything special or worth mentioning. Ling Rui shuddered again, and Wang Yue pulled him closer, rubbing his upper arm. His coat felt soft. Ling Rui exhaled —a white puff of air— and relaxed into Wang Yue's touch as he rested his head on Wang Yue's shoulder, his nose nuzzled into Wang Yue's scarf. 

A young girl with a dog walked past them, followed by an elderly couple. The old lady chuckled when she spotted them, and her husband deliberately averted his eyes. Wang Yue felt Ling Rui tensing and peeked down to watch how his cheeks —already flushed from the cold— grew even redder. Wang Yue nodded towards the lady, trying to be polite, and she nodded back with another giggle. 

Wang Chao was kneeling in the sand, piling it up in front of him as he tried to build a sand castle.

Wang Yue liked this park. It had a peaceful atmosphere. Sitting here with Ling Rui reminded him of his birthday last year. It had been right before they had officially started dating. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster for Wang Yue — crying while confessing to Ling Rui how he had abandoned his brother for a whole evening, laughing when they played football together, and having an emotional breakdown at night when Ling Rui tried to kiss him while drunk, causing him to realize his feelings were more than just a fleeting crush. Months had passed since then, but Wang Yue still hadn't dared to confess his love to Ling Rui — and after overhearing his family talking about Ling Rui's aversion to love confessions, Wang Yue didn't intend to change that soon. He didn't need to. Just sitting here with Ling Rui in his arms was more than he could ever ask for. 

"You're quiet," Ling Rui whispered, interrupting Wang Yue's train of thoughts. He placed his hand on Wang Yue's thigh. His fingertips were red from the cold. "What are you thinking about?"

"My birthday last year," Wang Yue mumbled. Taking Ling Rui's hand, he brushed his thumb over his knuckles. As expected, Ling Rui's skin was cold. 

"Ah." Ling Rui smiled, his eyes filled with understanding as he peeked up at Wang Yue. "It was a different park, but it feels very similar." His eyes drifted off into the distance. "I only have good memories of that day," he admitted in a whisper, "so I think it's a good sign regarding the new flat."

"You really think so?"

"I want to believe so." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's hand.

Humming, Wang Yue let his eyes wander, watching how Wang Chao happily put more sand on his pile. Wang Yue didn't know whether or not Ling Rui was right, but he felt the same.

He wanted to believe it.

 

Notes:

Yes, I totally got emotional about Meeting you (the first fic of this series) while writing this short scene in the park.

Also, describing locations and people isn't my strong point, but I think I did a good job about that flat and real estate agent. And even though I failed to properly describe the park, I at least managed to get the nice atmosphere across, so that's good!

Edit: Shout-out to my lovely beta-reader who said she could picture the park clearly, though. (｡•́︿•̀｡)~♥

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Chapter 17: Compromise (Friday, April 2nd)

Summary:

Ling Rui and Wang Yue take a look at another flat.

Notes:

I don't have any notes. Why do I not have notes? I always have notes.

7,3k words

Wang Chao had managed to get sand everywhere while playing in the sand box. Afraid of making a bad impression on the landlady, Wang Yue brushed the sand from Wang Chao's clothes as best as possible before they walked to the flat with Ling Rui. 

Even though they arrived ten minutes early, they could already spot an old lady waiting in front of the building. She was tiny, her back slightly hunched, and her light gray hair tied up in a bun. A long, orange muffler was wrapped around her neck and half of her face several times, and her white jacket was so thick that her torso was almost as round as a ball. Her legs were short and thin, the dark blue tights vanishing in thick, dark blue boots. She looked adorable, although Wang Yue was afraid she might freeze on the spot or get blown away by the wind at any moment. 

"Mrs. Zhang?" Ling Rui called out as they got closer. "Hello. I'm Ling Rui. We spoke on the phone earlier."

"Oh!" Her eyes lit up, the corners crinkling as she smiled. "Welcome, A-Rui." She pulled her hands out of her pockets and held the right one out to Ling Rui. It was covered by a thick orange glove that matched her scarf. Politely, Ling Rui shook her hand, and she patted his hand with her other one.

Curiously, she looked at Wang Yue and Wang Chao next.

"This is my boyfriend Wang Yue and his brother Wang Chao," Ling Rui explained as he pulled his hand back.

Smiling, she walked over with short steps and held out her hand. "Welcome, A-Yue. I'm Zhang Yan."

"Um, hi." Awkwardly, Wang Yue shook her hand. He was a bit taken aback by the familiar address — especially since his ex-girlfriend had often called him that. 

"Hello, A-Chao." Smiling, she held out her hand to Wang Chao next.

"Di." Warily, Wang Chao hid behind Wang Yue, clinging to his jacket.

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized at once. "Sometimes, he's a bit shy when meeting strangers."

She cocked her head, but pulled her hand back.

"He has a disability," Ling Rui explained, scrutinizingly narrowing his eyes as he waited for the landlady's reaction. He looked tense, but Wang Yue couldn't blame him for that after their encounter with the real estate agent earlier today. 

"I see," Zhang Yan replied, nodding at Ling Rui. Next, she turned her attention to Wang Chao. "Nice to meet you." She smiled, not getting irritated when Wang Chao didn't reply. Instead, her eyes lit up when she spotted the toy in his hands. "Oh! You have a yellow toy car. Do you like toy cars?"

Wang Chao took a step closer. "Yes!"

"Oh, that's nice." She nodded contentedly, and Ling Rui relaxed. "The couple living on the same floor as the available flat has two young boys. They often play with toy cars, racing them through the hallway." She laughed, hiding her mouth behind her thick glove. "Maybe you can be friends and play together."

Wang Chao looked excited.

"You don't mind when the kids play in the hallway during the day?" Wang Yue blurted out. "Or the other tenants don't mind?"

"Not at all." Zhang Yan shook her head, a thin strand of hair falling loose. "It's nice to see when kids have fun playing. And most of the tenants have children on their own. They know how it is. But let's get inside before I freeze to death." Chuckling, she turned around.

They went to the main entrance, and Zhang Yan unlocked the door.

"Wipe your feet," Wang Yue mumbled towards Wang Chao as they stepped on a doormat. There was so much sand coming off Wang Chao's shoes that Wang Yue wondered if any was still left in the sandbox. "Sorry," he apologized as he leaned down to wipe more sand from Wang Chao's pants and shoes. He really didn't know where it was coming from. He had already brushed it off at the playground. "We were at the park before coming here."

"Ah, it's just some sand," Zhang Yan said, waving her hand. "It's nothing a good old broom can't take care of. Do you kids still know brooms or are you only using vacuum cleaners?"

"I'm still using a broom to clean the staircase before wiping it with a wet cloth," Ling Rui explained.

"Oh!" Zhang Yan's eyes lit up as she clapped her hands together, her thick gloves muffling the sound. "I like you, young man." She nodded happily. "You know how to work efficiently." 

Sheepishly, Ling Rui rubbed the nape of his neck. 

They all entered the house and closed the door behind them. Zhang Yan led the way. Even though she looked so fragile, she easily went up the stairs. Apparently, those thin legs harbored more strength than one could have guessed at first glance. They went up to the second floor. 

After unlocking the door to the flat, Zhang Yan held it open. "Come in and take a look around," she offered.

"Thank you," Ling Rui replied politely as he stepped inside. 

"After you," Wang Yue mumbled, and Zhang Yan giggled as she followed Ling Rui.

"Oh my." She playfully patted Ling Rui's arm. "Your husband is a real gentleman."

Wang Yue's mind blanked.

"W-we're not married!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his cheeks heating up, and the tips of his ears turning red.

"Yet," Zhang Yan replied.

"What?" Ling Rui yelped.

"You're not married yet." She chuckled, lowering her head to hide her mouth behind her muffler. "It's only a question of time, isn't it?" Amused, she stepped further into the room. It was open and spacious, with big windows and a balcony on the left. She pulled her thick gloves off and stuffed them into her pockets. Her hands almost looked tiny in comparison.

Ling Rui rubbed his hands as he took in their surroundings. The room wasn't being heated, but it was still warmer than outside — especially since the wind was gone. 

The wallpaper looked a bit yellowed, with some scattered holes as if someone had hung up pictures before taking them off with the nails. The flooring was darker in some spots —especially close to the walls— as if the sun had lightened the parts that hadn't been covered by furniture. The ceiling probably used to be white but had taken on a gray touch, electric cables hanging down where lamps used to be. 

"Di, it's huge!" Stretching his arms, Wang Chao spun around.

"It is," Wang Yue murmured, trying to imagine how the flat would look with furniture. Even if they put in some shelves and cabinets, a couch, and a dining table, there would be some space left. A wall reached into the room, separating the area in the far corner on the right from the remaining space.

"Is this where the kitchen would be?" Ling Rui asked, pointing towards it, and Wang Yue spotted a power and water connection.

"Yes, that's correct." Zhang Yan nodded. "It's an open kitchen. As you can see, the flat hasn't been renovated yet. Someone else wanted to move in here this week and do it, but they canceled at the last minute. If you decide to take the flat, you can either renovate by yourselves —my husband and I will pay for what you need— or you can wait until we get some professionals to do it. That's gonna take at least two months, though."

"How soon can we move in if we renovate it?" Wang Yue asked. He really didn't want to stay with the Ling family any longer than necessary.

"On the 15th," Zhang Yan replied. "But I could give you the keys earlier so you can start renovating sooner."

Within two weeks? Wang Yue's lips parted in surprise. He almost couldn't believe their luck. 

"Do you want to see the other rooms?" Zhang Yan asked, already walking ahead.

"Of course," Ling Rui replied, following her. 

Wang Yue placed a hand on Wang Chao's back, and they followed Zhang Yan into the hallway. First, they turned left. 

"That's usually the bedroom," Zhang Yan explained once they had entered, "but you can use it however you want." 

The room was as empty as the main room had been. It needed to be re-wallpapered as well, but otherwise it looked good. There was enough room for a big wardrobe for Ling Rui and a small one for Wang Yue. They could also manage to fit two beds in here — or one bed if Ling Rui preferred sharing. Wang Yue swallowed. He didn't want to assume, but he would love sharing a bed with Ling Rui every night.

"The window is on the same side as the street," Zhang Yan explained, interrupting Wang Yue's thoughts, "but not many cars pass by here. They shouldn't disturb your sleep."

"How thick are the walls in this building?" Ling Rui asked, and Wang Yue only stared at him in disbelief. Was he seriously asking this old lady if the walls were thick enough for them to fuck without getting overheard? 

"If the window is closed, you can barely hear the cars. And if you have little kids, you've gotta leave the bedroom door open or use a baby monitor to hear them cry."

Oh. That was also a valid reason to ask about the walls. Wang Yue's eyes drifted towards his brother. Maybe they really needed a baby monitor. Sometimes, Wang Chao had nightmares, and Wang Yue needed to calm him down. 

Now that he thought about it, Wang Yue felt ashamed for having dirty thoughts right from the beginning. But when he spotted Ling Rui's flushed face, he suddenly didn't feel so bad anymore. Apparently, Ling Rui had asked for the reason Wang Yue had had in mind first. It was a bit unexpected. When they had first started dating, Ling Rui had been shy and hesitant, but lately, he was getting hornier and more outspoken. Their eyes met, and Ling Rui quickly averted his face, the tips of his ears glowing. Wang Yue bit back a snort. Ling Rui was so adorable. Wang Yue felt the unusual urge to tease him and make him even more flustered. 

"You really don't have to worry about any noises in this flat," Zhang Yan mentioned, and Ling Rui flinched, a yelp slipping from his lips. Blinking, Zhang Yan cocked her head. "Is something the matter?"

"No!" Ling Rui exclaimed. Defensively, he held up his hands and took a step back. "I just, uh—" He was way too flustered. "What noises—" His voice broke off.

On the one hand, his reaction was adorable, but on the other hand, Wang Yue couldn't watch him struggling much longer in this situation. 

"Is that why no one is bothered by the kids playing in the hallway?" Wang Yue asked. "Because you don't hear much inside the flat anyway?"

"Yes, that is correct." Zhang Yan nodded. "Noises from the hallway don't travel into the flat," she explained, and Ling Rui relaxed. "And noises from the flat —or the bedroom— don't travel to the hallway." Giggling, she left the room. "Ah, young love," she mumbled.

Ling Rui looked mortified, and Wang Yue immediately remembered the conversation he had overheard yesterday about Ling Rui's aversion to love confessions. Wang Yue gulped. Hopefully, Ling Rui wasn't bothered that Zhang Yan assumed more of their relationship than there was to it. She had even called them husbands earlier. Wang Yue knew it was a hopeless dream, but deep down, he couldn't help but wish for a future where Ling Rui loved and married him. 

"Di?"

"Huh?" Wang Yue blinked. Apparently, he had spaced out just like Ling Rui. Wang Chao looked at them with a frown before his eyes drifted towards the hallway. "Oh." Awkwardly, Wang Yue cleared his throat. "Let's go," he whispered, and Ling Rui nodded, his cheeks still flushed.

Afterwards, Zhang Yan showed them two other empty rooms. They would use one as Wang Chao's bedroom, and hadn't decided yet what to do with the last room. They had both been surprised that such a big flat with so many rooms had been within their budget. 

At last, they went to the bathroom. It had a shower but no bathtub, and the room didn't have any windows. It was a bit unfortunate in Ling Rui's opinion, but everything else about the flat seemed perfect. If it weren't for the bathroom, this flat would have been their first choice.

They went back to the main room.

"It's really lovely," Ling Rui said, his eyes drifting to Wang Yue, a silent question on his face.

"Yeah," Wang Yue agreed. "It's perfect." He couldn't ever ask for more.

"Di, look!" Excitedly, Wang Chao suddenly ran towards the balcony door to look outside.

"Don't touch the glass with your—" Wang Yue sighed when he realized that his warning had come too late "—hands."

Zhang Yan chuckled. "Don't worry about it. It's nice that he is so enthusiastic about the flat, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied. It was even nicer that this lady treated Wang Chao like a human being instead of looking down on him in any way like his old landlord or the real estate agent earlier today had done.

"We can go outside here!" Wang Chao exclaimed, still glued to the glass and staring at the balcony. He held up his toy car. "We can drive outside!"

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied softly. Carefully, he pulled his brother away from the door. "Can we take a look?" He asked before reaching for the balcony door handle.

"Of course," Zhang Yan replied.

As soon as the door was open, Wang Chao stepped on the balcony. Still holding his toy car, he grabbed the railing. His eyes went wide as he looked down to the street.

"Don't drop your toy," Wang Yue mumbled, but Wang Chao was too excited to even listen.

"Are there many other interested parties?" Ling Rui asked, and Wang Yue nervously shifted from one leg to the other. He had almost forgotten about that. It wasn't guaranteed yet that they would get this flat.

"I got so many inquiries that I couldn't even invite everyone." Zhang Yan sighed. "I just picked my three favorites. One couple already declined after taking a look at the flat and another couple with two kids wanted to call me later and tell me their decision since they still had other flats they wanted to check out," she explained. "If they decide to take this flat, they would have priority since they visited first. I hope you understand."

"Yes, yes, of course," Ling Rui replied politely.

"If you want, I can give you a call as soon as they tell me their decision," Zhang Yan suggested.

"That would be great," Ling Rui replied, smiling.

Wang Yue checked his phone. "Um," he mumbled, clearing his throat. "I don't wanna be impolite, but I've gotta leave now. I've gotta go to work."

"Oh!" Zhang Yan exclaimed, putting her hand in front of her mouth. "By all means, don't let me keep you! Do you often work in the evenings?" Curiously, she cocked her head.

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied. "I'm a delivery driver." He patted Wang Chao's shoulder to gain his attention and led him back into the flat.

"Oh, that has to be a very stressful job on Friday night, doesn't it? But it's very important." She nodded more to herself than to Wang Yue. "People need to get their dinner." She chortled. "I bet my husband has already ordered takeout for us since I'm still not home yet to cook dinner."

"Then let's call it a day, shall we?" Ling Rui asked, and Zhang Yan nodded.

"Yes, yes. If you have any further questions, you can call me. And I will call you as soon as I know whether the flat is available or not."

"Thank you," Ling Rui replied. Awkwardly, he paused. "I don't want to be intrusive, but are you getting home on your own or should we give you a ride?" 

"Oh, how cute that you ask!" Zhang Yan chuckled. "Don't worry. I only live three streets away. I can walk. And I don't want your husband to be late for work."

Ling Rui blushed when she called Wang Yue his husband again. It was a nice term. It made Wang Yue's heart beat faster and filled him with useless hope. He tried to enjoy the feeling for as long as it lasted, even if it was just a dream. 

They said their goodbyes while Wang Yue was still lost in his thoughts and went back to the car where Ling Rui turned the heating to maximum. He really must have been cold.

Once they were on the road, Wang Yue took out his phone and checked the time. Even if he immediately got on his bike and drove to the restaurant, he still wouldn't make it on time. He clicked his tongue. 

"Can you eat dinner with my brother and put him to bed?" Wang Yue hated to rely on others, but he really didn't want to miss a whole hour of his work shift. He had been absent too often lately. Wang Chao looked very tired, already nodding off next to him.

"Of course," Ling Rui replied, peeking into the rearview mirror with a smile. "Just leave it to me."

"Thanks." Wang Yue messaged Meilin that he would be a few minutes late, and she quickly replied with a simple ok. Wang Yue dreaded the moment when Ling Rui would be so curt with him after eventually breaking up with him. Sighing, Wang Yue shook his head. He shouldn't think about that. Instead, he should enjoy every second with Ling Rui that he got. Pocketing his phone, Wang Yue looked up again.

"What about your dinner?" Ling Rui asked, his voice neutral, eyes never leaving the road. Even though he didn't meet Wang Yue's eyes, he had clearly waited until Wang Yue's attention was back on him.

Wang Yue paused. He hadn't even thought about eating dinner, and now that he did, he felt sick. "No time."

Ling Rui gripped the steering wheel tighter, his expression tense. He wasn't satisfied with that answer but didn't say anything against it either. Good. Wang Yue really wasn't in the mood to fight about it and ruin their evening.

"Did you like the flat?" he asked to change the subject. 

Ling Rui's lips parted as he hesitated a moment before giving in. "Yes, it's really nice," he replied. "And Mrs. Zhang is such a lovely landlady. The bathroom isn't perfect, but it's okay."

"Will you still check out the other flat later?" Wang Yue asked. He didn't remember which one it was out of the flats they had expressed interest in. Had Ling Rui even told him after receiving the call? 

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed. "It's a bit smaller and has one room less, but the bathroom looked nice in the pictures and it seems to be in a quiet neighborhood."

Wang Yue hummed thoughtfully. "Is it cheaper?" 

"Yes."

Slowly, Wang Yue could deduce which of the flats it was. He had liked the flat they had looked at just now —and the landlady— but if the other flat was cheaper, it would be better.

"Can I call you during work if we have to decide quickly which one to take?" 

"Just choose one if you're lucky enough to get two offers," Wang Yue replied. Actually, Wang Yue couldn't imagine that the other flat would be better than the one they had seen just now. He didn't care about the bathroom. For him, the flat had been perfect. It had felt right — even though the nagging voice inside his head told him to choose the cheaper option if given the choice. "I trust your judgment."

"I would prefer it if you had seen everything in person before we decided."

"There's not much to see anyway." Wang Yue shrugged his shoulders. "It's just some empty rooms."

"I guess," Ling Rui mumbled. "But you liked the flat just now, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

Ling Rui stared at him through the rearview mirror with such an intense gaze that Wang Yue was almost afraid for a second that he wasn't paying attention to the road anymore. But Ling Rui always drove safely. Still. He looked a lot like Ling Yunzhi right now, trying to read his mind.

Just as Wang Yue grew nervous, Ling Rui averted his eyes again, a peaceful smile on his lips. 

"Then we'll take that one if Mrs. Zhang calls me later," Ling Rui concluded. "Your brother seemed to like it, too."

"Yeah," Wang Yue mumbled, his eyes drifting to Wang Chao. He was sleeping. 

"But I'll still check out the other flat just in case that the other couple decides to take Mrs. Zhang's flat," Ling Rui said.

"Okay." Wang Yue couldn't imagine why anyone in their right mind would decline such a flat, but he still hoped the couple would do so.

When they arrived at the Ling family's home, Wang Yue quickly grabbed his keys and got on his bike to leave for work.

 

---

 

Work was as exhausting as every Friday night. What made it even more unbearable was the fact that Wang Yue's stomach had started rumbling at some point. He didn't mind being hungry —he might even have bought a meal at the restaurant then— he simply craved Ling Rui's peanut butter pie. It was ridiculous. Usually, Wang Yue didn't have such a sweet tooth. Whenever he had gotten his hands on some sweets, he had always given them to his brother. But now, it suddenly felt like he couldn't get enough anymore. 

Time seemed to drag on endlessly during his busy work shift, and it was almost 1 o'clock when Wang Yue finally returned to the Ling family's home.

After sneaking into the flat with the spare key and taking off his shoes and jacket, he paused as he passed by the kitchen. Ling Rui had told him that he could always take whatever he wanted, but Wang Yue couldn't steal cake in the middle of the night, could he? Shaking his head to suppress the absurd thought, he went to the bathroom.

Once he returned, he paused in the living room again, peeking at the kitchen. Was there even any cake left or had the Ling family eaten everything? It should be in the fridge. Wang Yue could take a look and then decide. Maybe it was already gone anyway, or there was only one piece left — which he wouldn't dare to take in case anyone else looked forward to eating it tomorrow. 

As he stood there, pondering, Ling Yazhi turned around on the couch, mumbling in her sleep. Biting down on his bottom lip, Wang Yue held his breath until it was quiet again. Apparently, she hadn't woken up. Relieved, he exhaled. What was he lingering around here for? It was the middle of the night. He should just go to bed and sleep. And if he really craved some food, he could always eat one of the cereal bars Ling Rui had left for him on the nightstand.

Quietly, he slipped into the bedroom, closed the door behind him, and blinked in surprise when he realized that the lights were on.

"You're back already?" Ling Rui asked at the same time as Wang Yue said, "Why the hell are you still up?"

Ling Rui wore his dark blue pajamas, a pink blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was sitting at his desk in front of his laptop. Frowning, he stared at the bottom corner of his screen, checking the time.

"Oh my god," he mumbled in realization, his eyes going wide. His face looked pale as it was illuminated by the light of the laptop screen. "I didn't realize how late it already was. I was just—"

"Can I eat some cake?" Wang Yue blurted out without realizing. Balling his fists, he bit down on his bottom lip. Was he an idiot? "Sorry for interrupting you."

"There's still enough peanut butter pie in the fridge if you want some," Ling Rui mumbled, perplexed. "Take as much as you want."

"Do you also want a piece?"

Ling Rui slowly shook his head. "I'm good. Thanks."

"I'll be right back," Wang Yue said and slipped out of the room. He couldn't believe he was doing this. On tiptoes, he went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. His heart was beating quickly as he spotted the cake. Half of it was still left. Wang Yue reached for it and quietly placed it on the counter. After searching for a knife and fork, he took a small plate out of the cabinet and cut off a large piece of cake. It really was big. It was more like one and a half pieces and not just one. He felt greedy but couldn't undo what he had already done. Sighing, he put the knife into the sink and the cake back into the fridge.

Afterwards, he went back to the bedroom with his stolen goods. He had expected Ling Rui to have moved to the bed by now, but that wasn't the case. Wang Yue placed the plate down at the edge of the desk and quickly changed into a more comfortable shirt and sweatpants. It was a bit cool, but not as cold as it had been outside. He sat down in the white armchair, reached for his sweet treat, and pulled his legs up on the seat so his feet stayed off the cold floor. 

"So? What's keeping you up?" he asked, taking the first bite from the cake. It was even better than he remembered, and he barely managed to hold back a moan. All the exhaustion from his work shift seemed to melt out of his tired bones. Why hadn't he eaten more cake in his life? Or more like, why didn't other sweet stuff taste so good? It wasn't like he had never tried cake before, but somehow, he had never liked it so much. It took him a moment to realize that Ling Rui hadn't answered his question but only stared at him with wide eyes. It took him another moment to realize that Ling Rui didn't actually stare at him but at his plate — half of the big piece of cake already gone. Wang Yue swallowed. He hadn't even realized he had wolfed down his sweet treat so quickly. "Sorry," he mumbled, licking the inside of his teeth to gather more of the delicious peanut butter creme. 

"Ah." Ling Rui blinked, awakening from his trance. Smiling, he shook his head. "It's fine. Sorry for staring. Keep eating and ignore me. Just don't forget to chew properly." He turned his attention back to the laptop, and Wang Yue appreciated that he didn't stare or comment anymore on his eating habits. But Ling Rui still hadn't answered his question.

"Earth to Doctor Ling," Wang Yue said teasingly. "Why are you awake in the middle of the night?"

"Oh." With wide eyes, he looked at Wang Yue. His surprised expression was adorable.

Wang Yue snorted, taking another forkful of cake. "Feels like you're not actually awake but just sleepwalking," he mumbled, his mouth full.

Grumbling, Ling Rui pouted and crossed his arms.

Wang Yue raised an eyebrow, still waiting for an answer to his question.

"Oh!" Ling Rui exclaimed once again, the blanket sliding from his shoulders as he uncrossed his arms and turned towards Wang Yue in excitement. "We got the flat!"

Wang Yue paused in the middle of his movement, fork lifted. "Which one?" His heartbeat was speeding up from anticipation. 

"The second one we looked at today." The smile on Ling Rui's lips was wide, dimples appearing on his cheeks. "Mrs. Zhang called me and said that the other couple found another flat so we can have this one."

"Did you accept?"

Ling Rui nodded. "Yes. I hope that's okay? We might still get some other offers, but we both liked that flat. It wasn't our first choice, but—" he nervously fumbled with the sleeve of his pajama shirt "—it feels like the best choice, right?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue whispered, putting down his fork. They shared the same feeling. He couldn't believe this was happening. From what he'd heard, it usually took months to find a decent flat. Was he dreaming? There was no way that they had found something within 24 hours that they both liked. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him and this was just his wishful thinking. Had he passed out from hunger during his work shift and hit his head?

"Xiao Yue?"

"Huh?"

"You're spacing out again." Ling Rui furrowed his eyebrows, looking worried. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied reflexively. "Yeah," he repeated more firmly. "My mind just can't keep up. It's all happening so quickly."

"It is," Ling Rui confirmed. "I've been looking at the layout and the photos of the flat after Mrs. Zhang called me, trying to imagine how the flat would look once we moved in." He shook his head. "It still feels too good to be true."

"How was that other flat you checked out tonight?"

Ling Rui grimaced. "Don't ask. The windows were leaky —cold air seeping in— and the corners were moldy. I left immediately."

All the better that they didn't have to rely on that one. "So we got the nice flat with the nice landlady," Wang Yue whispered. Saying it out loud made it more real somehow. 

"We just need to decide whether we are going to renovate everything by ourselves, or if we wait about two months until professionals have done it."

"Let me do it!" Wang Yue exclaimed, sitting up straight, his feet slipping from the seat to the floor. A second later, he bit down on his bottom lip. He shouldn't be so loud around this hour of the night. "Let me do it," he repeated in a whisper, clinging to his plate. "I can handle it."

"You don't have to force yourself to do it."

Wang Yue shook his head. "I have to do it." Ling Rui had already done so much for him, it was time for Wang Yue to do something for him in return. Wang Yue wasn't a professional, but he was technically skilled enough. It wouldn't be the first time he renovated or repaired something after looking up some tutorials online. And he really didn't want to rely on the Ling family's hospitality any longer than strictly necessary.

"You don't have to," Ling Rui mumbled.

"I want to," Wang Yue corrected. "I helped my ex renovate her bathroom once," he explained. "I laid the tiles and everything. And at the restaurant, I installed all the new lamps and painted the walls of the office."

"Huh." Ling Rui blinked in surprise. "I didn't know you had so much experience. I've never done any renovations," he admitted, looking sorry. "I won't be much help."

"That's okay." Wang Yue shook his head. "You don't have to help. You can rely on me. Just trust me to—" Wang Yue paused when the voice inside his head reminded him that no one in their right mind would ever trust someone like him with something so important like renovating their whole flat. But Ling Rui only smiled brightly.

"Alright. I'll leave it to you. Thank you, Xiao Yue."

Wang Yue should be happy about Ling Rui's trust, but now he suddenly felt nervous, afraid to mess this up. Even if Ling Rui currently only lived with his family, he had experienced luxury before when dating Lu Fangning. He knew how a perfectly renovated flat looked like. What if he started to compare Wang Yue to Lu Fangning? Wang Yue wouldn't stand a chance.

"Xiao Yue?"

"I'll disappoint you," he whispered.

"Yue'er." Smiling softly, Ling Rui stood up and walked over, carrying his blanket with him. It was a tight fit, but they managed to sit down on the armchair together, Wang Yue on Ling Rui's left thigh, leaning back against his chest. "You were so confident just a moment ago."

"That was stupid," Wang Yue mumbled. When he peeked at Ling Rui, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't seen them before while Ling Rui's face had been illuminated by the laptop screen. Apparently, one night of rest hadn't been enough for him to fully recover, and now, he had stayed up late after a busy day again. Resting the back of his head on Ling Rui's shoulder, Wang Yue averted his eyes. He was tense, clinging to his plate. He hadn't eaten everything yet. He didn't know if he was still in the mood to eat.

"It wasn't stupid. It was perfect." Ling Rui caressed Wang Yue's lower arm.

"What if I mess this up?" Wang Yue mumbled.

"How?" Ling Rui asked. "If you somehow mess up painting the walls, we will just paint them again." He shrugged his shoulders, and Wang Yue felt the movement against his back. "It's no problem. But I don't think you will mess this up." Ling Rui turned his head to whisper into Wang Yue's ear, his fingers sliding further down to trace Wang Yue's knuckles. "I know you're good with your hands."

Wang Yue inhaled sharply as he noticed the sexual innuendo. Ling Rui's fingers traveled to the sensitive inside of Wang Yue's wrist, teasingly brushing over it. A shudder went through Wang Yue's body, making him squirm on Ling Rui's thigh. "You're also good with your hands," he whispered. "I like them—" he swallowed, the sound unusually loud in his ears "—a lot."

"Yeah?" Ling Rui asked, slowly drawing his fingertips over the inside of Wang Yue's forearm. 

"Yeah." 

When Ling Rui's other hand suddenly crept under Wang Yue's shirt, slowly traveling upwards, Wang Yue clung to the plate with his left hand while grabbing Ling Rui's thigh with the right. He held his breath as Ling Rui's cold fingertips brushed over his stomach up to his chest, circling his nipple. A needy whine slipped from his lips, and he felt Ling Rui's breathy chuckle against his cheek. Wang Yue bit back a gasp when Ling Rui trapped his nipple between his forefinger and thumb, softly massaging it. Reflexively, he grabbed Ling Rui's thigh harder, feeling him flinch underneath him.

"Sorry," he apologized, letting go.

Whining, Ling Rui buried his face in Wang Yue's hair. "That felt good," he whispered, sounding embarrassed.

Oh. For a moment, Wang Yue had forgotten how sensitive Ling Rui's thighs were. "Yeah?" Feeling bold, he reached back to slip his hand under the waistband of Ling Rui's pajama pants and touched his naked skin. Ling Rui gasped when Wang Yue's thumb brushed over the inside of his thigh, and he pinched Wang Yue's nipple. A spark of pleasure shot through Wang Yue, causing his hand to twitch, his fingers digging into Ling Rui's soft skin, making him moan.

When Wang Yue felt Ling Rui's dick harden and pressing against his ass cheek, he angled his head to the right. Immediately, Ling Rui leaned in for a kiss, their tongues meeting in the middle as they both started to caress each other faster, lust taking over their minds. Wang Yue kept squirming in Ling Rui's lap, rubbing against Ling Rui's growing erection, causing him to massage Wang Yue's nipple with even more eagerness until Wang Yue reflexively grabbed Ling Rui's thigh hard enough to make him yelp and groan. Riling each other up, they kept trading messy kisses, panting and gasping as arousal burned them up from the inside.

A bumping sound followed by a muffled, "Ouch!" made them pause. 

Frozen in place, they perked up their ears. Wang Yue heard footsteps going further away until a door was opened and then closed.

Displeased, Ling Rui groaned and pulled his hand back.

"I think Xiao-gu went to the bathroom," he mumbled. "Sorry. I can't—" He groaned. "Knowing she's awake, I—" he whined, frustrated.

"It's okay." Wang Yue pulled his hand out of Ling Rui's pants. He sighed, swallowing down the upcoming frustration. 

"I can't wait to move out and have a flat with thick walls."

Wang Yue snorted. "Just because you're horny, Doctor Ling?"

Embarrassed, Ling Rui buried his face in Wang Yue's hair. "Not only because of that, but—" He sighed. "Yes."

"I'll make sure you're always satisfied," Wang Yue promised. It was the least he could do. It was his duty as boyfriend, and Ling Rui looked so cute and sexy whenever they made out. Wang Yue couldn't see it often enough.

"Me too," Ling Rui promised before taking a deep breath. "Okay, we should think this through."

"Think what through?" Wang Yue asked, perplexed. "The sex?"

Ling Rui yelped. "The flat!" he replied, and anxiety crept up Wang Yue's throat. Was Ling Rui already getting second thoughts? "If we want to move in on the 15th, we need to renovate everything and get furniture before then," Ling Rui explained. "I don't know if we can make it on time."

"Furniture." Wang Yue hadn't even thought about that yet. He was confident enough to say that he could finish renovating everything on time if they got the keys next week and someone else looked after his brother, but he didn't even have enough money to buy furniture. He wouldn't mind sitting and sleeping on the floor, storing his clothes in bags, and eating simple snacks he could prepare without a kitchen. But his brother and Ling Rui deserved better.

"We should go shopping tomorrow," Ling Rui said.

"What?" 

"I know we've gotta renovate first, but getting the materials for it on time won't be a problem. The furniture, however, will take a while to be delivered."

"Shit," Wang Yue cursed. He really hadn't thought this through.

"It's okay," Ling Rui replied. "I'll ask Fangning for help. I'm sure she has something nice in stock or can speed up the delivery."

Panic made Wang Yue sit up straight, and he hastily thrust the plate onto the desk. "I can't afford her stuff." He had never even set foot in her store but knew that the prices of her furniture had to be exorbitant. Even though Wang Yue hadn't touched his most recent pay yet, it wouldn't be enough to cover everything he needed to buy for his brother — much less for himself.

"Yue'er, calm down," Ling Rui said. "I've got it covered."

"You don't have to pay for—"

"Listen." Ling Rui sat up, hugging Wang Yue from behind. "You'll take care of the renovations, and I'll buy our furniture."

"It's not fair if you have to pay for everything!"

"Going by your logic, it's also not fair that you have to do all the work."

"I don't mind doing that," Wang Yue retorted.

"And I don't mind paying for our furniture," Ling Rui replied.

Rolling his eyes, Wang Yue groaned. "You can be so stubborn."

Ling Rui snorted. "Right back at you." Wang Yue grumbled, but Ling Rui wasn't deterred by it. "Fangning's Infinity home furniture brand was made for the middle class. It is affordable for me. Also, I get a 50% discount on everything due to my VIP membership card."

"You do?"

Ling Rui shrugged his shoulders. "Benefits of being her ex, I guess. Usually, I don't exploit my connections like that, but she always told me to rely on her if I ever needed furniture. I already looked at her online store before you returned home and found some nice things." 

Outside, they could hear Ling Yazhi returning from the bathroom, walking to the couch. The walls really were too thin. 

Pondering, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. It didn't feel right to let Ling Rui pay for everything, but what was Wang Yue supposed to do? He couldn't expect Ling Rui to not buy any furniture just because Wang Yue couldn't afford it. He also couldn't expect him to buy some shabby second hand stuff. Ling Rui valued quality. Sighing, Wang Yue gave in. "Fine." He gritted his teeth. "But let me try to pay for some things at least — like my brother's bed. And I'll assemble as much furniture on my own as possible."

Ling Rui sighed. "You know you don't have to do that, but I also know that you're meeting me halfway with that compromise." He kissed Wang Yue's cheek. "Alright, deal."

"Thanks," Wang Yue whispered. He felt a little bit less useless and pathetic now. 

"I'll text Fangning," Ling Rui said, and Wang Yue only reluctantly let him get up. Ling Rui sat back down on his chair and grabbed his phone from the desk. "Maybe she can recommend something."

"So we'll go there tomorrow?" Wang Yue asked. He shuddered, feeling cold now that Ling Rui and his blanket were gone. He pulled his naked feet back up on the seat, curling his toes.

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed without looking up from his phone. "Or did you have other plans?"

"Except for making good use of the time while our family is at the aquarium—" Wang Yue's voice trailed off.

"Oh my god!" Ling Rui's cheeks heated up as he stared at Wang Yue. "I totally forgot about that." Pressing his lips together, he seemed to wrack his brain for another solution. Sighing, he gave up and drew his eyebrows together, the inner corners angled up. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"I'll make it up to you," Wang Yue replied. He still owed Ling Rui for fucking up last time, even though he had made him come. "But you're right. Getting furniture is the most important thing now." Ling Rui was always right about these things. Unlike Wang Yue, Ling Rui thought everything through without freaking out or forgetting important things. "What's the plan after getting furniture?"

"Furniture first, renovation materials next," Ling Rui listed before sheepishly peeking at Wang Yue, "and then we can make good use of our time if the others haven't returned from the aquarium yet."

Wang Yue smirked. "Alright." It should be possible to do all that in one day, shouldn't it? They only had to get up on time. "Maybe we should go to bed," he mumbled. "And set an alarm for tomorrow morning."

"I still have to finish texting Fangning," Ling Rui mumbled, already looking at his phone again. He quickly peeked at Wang Yue again. "You can eat meanwhile if you want."

"Ah." Wang Yue only now remembered that he had never finished eating his cake. "Yeah. Good point." He was a bit hesitant as he fetched the plate from the table, his appetite gone, but as soon as he took another bite of the delicious cake, his hunger returned and he devoured the remaining cake in no time.

After Ling Rui had texted Lu Fangning, he set his alarm and turned off his laptop. Yawning, he went to bed. Wang Yue pondered for a moment about returning the empty plate to the kitchen, but he didn't want to risk waking Ling Yazhi and, if he was honest, he was too lazy, too. Instead, he simply slipped out of his sweatpants and joined Ling Rui in bed. Ling Rui wrapped an arm around Wang Yue —holding him close to his chest— and fell asleep almost immediately. Wang Yue stayed awake a bit longer, listening to Ling Rui's steady heartbeat while trying to calm down his racing thoughts. Everything was happening so quickly. It felt surreal. But he should be happy that he might get out of his old flat and away from his grumpy landlord fast enough to spend a happy time living with Ling Rui — even if he couldn't know how long it would last. 

 

Notes:

Yes, they found a new flat within a day. This miracle is called fiction.

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Chapter 18: Shopping (Saturday, April 3rd)

Summary:

Ling Rui uses his day off to buy some furniture for the new flat together with Wang Yue.

Notes:

You can't begin to imagine how much I struggled to edit this chapter. It took me over a month.

10,8k words

Wang Yue groaned when he heard the alarm, reflexively clinging closer to the body that shifted beneath him. Despite his tight grip, the moving didn't stop but at least the alarm was turned off. Peaceful silence filled the room, and Wang Yue sighed in relief.

"Are you awake?" 

Wang Yue only grumbled when he recognized Ling Rui's voice.

"Yeah, same." Ling Rui exhaled loudly, finally relaxing in Wang Yue's embrace again. "I don't feel awake either."

"But you're talking," Wang Yue mumbled against Ling Rui's shoulder, his voice slurred.

"Not really." As if on cue, Ling Rui yawned before he groaned. "I'm dizzy."

Wang Yue's eyes shot open, and he abruptly propped himself up on his hands. Ling Rui was lying on his back, the blanket pulled up to his armpits. His brows were furrowed and his eyes closed, the back of his hand resting on his forehead, his fingers slightly curled.

"Are you okay?" What a stupid question. Ling Rui had just told him that he was dizzy. Of course, he was not okay! 

"Just tired," Ling Rui explained, murmuring as he pulled his hand back, letting it rest on the blanket. The corners of his mouth twitched as if he tried but failed to smile reassuringly.

A stomach grumbled, and for once, it wasn't Wang Yue's.

"And hungry, I guess," Ling Rui added. He still had his eyes closed as he groaned again. 

"Should I—" Wang Yue paused when he realized that even though he wanted to help, he had no idea what Ling Rui needed. More sleep would probably be the best, but they had decided to get up early to buy furniture and renovation materials for the flat. Maybe it would be enough if Wang Yue made breakfast for Ling Rui? But would Ling Rui even eat breakfast in bed? He seemed like the type of person who worried too much about crumbs in bed, even though he hadn't minded eating cake in bed the other night.

"I just need a moment to wake up," Ling Rui mumbled, patting Wang Yue's arm and interrupting his thoughts. He blinked his eyes open and smiled weakly. "Sorry for worrying you."

Wang Yue shook his head. "Sorry for not being any help." He should do something instead of just overthinking things.

"Cuddle me?" Ling Rui begged with such a sweet voice that Wang Yue simply melted into his embrace. He lay down, halfway on top of Ling Rui, wrapping his arms around him before slowly turning them to lay on their sides, their legs intertwined.

"I don't know how that's supposed to help you," Wang Yue mumbled, softly bumping his forehead against Ling Rui's. Their noses touched.

"Well, it does help," Ling Rui insisted, cutely stubborn. Wang Yue could feel his breath on his skin.

"Is that so, Doctor Ling?" Wang Yue asked teasingly, playing with the tips of hair on the nape of Ling Rui's neck. It felt different now that his hair was shorter — a little bit prickly yet still soft. Wang Yue liked the feeling.

Humming, Ling Rui closed his eyes. For a while, Wang Yue just looked at him, silently counting Ling Rui's long eyelashes. When he felt his eyelids growing heavy again —threatening to fall closed— he stretched his legs. The movement made Ling Rui groan in displeasure. 

"Do we get up or do we just go back to sleep?" Wang Yue asked, and Ling Rui opened his eyes in realization.

"Up." Sighing, Ling Rui freed himself from Wang Yue's embrace, who only reluctantly let him go. He slowly sat up and leaned against the headboard, holding his head. 

"I'm no doctor, but I think you should go back to sleep." Worriedly, Wang Yue sat up, too. "Maybe I can take care of some things on my own." Even though he suggested it, Wang Yue didn't know what he could do on his own. He couldn't buy furniture without Ling Rui —due to his lack of money— and couldn't buy renovation supplies without knowing what colors and materials —wallpaper or just paint, hardwood or carpet— Ling Rui preferred for every room of their new flat.

"You didn't catch more sleep than me," Ling Rui mumbled.

Wang Yue shrugged his shoulders. "But I'm used to it." 

"That doesn't make it better." Ling Rui narrowed his eyes before he sighed once again. "I need a coffee," he mumbled. Turning around, he placed his feet on the floor. "Do you want some, too?"

"I can have some?" Wang Yue whispered in disbelief. He couldn't remember the last time he had drunk coffee. Wang Chao didn't like it, so Wang Yue never bought it. It was a luxury item he couldn't afford for himself, even though he loved it.

"Of course." Ling Rui paused. Frowning, he looked over his shoulder. "Have I ever seen you drinking coffee? I don't even know if you like it."

"I love it," Wang Yue admitted self-consciously. "I just never—" He couldn't say it out loud. Sometimes, he felt pathetic for being so poor.

"I see." A soft, knowing smile appeared on Ling Rui's face. "Well, time to make coffee for my coffee-loving boyfriend!" Motivated, he jumped up from the bed, only to stagger and sway while holding his head.

"Careful!" Immediately, Wang Yue lunged over the mattress to get up from the bed and grab Ling Rui's shoulders to steady him.

"I'm fine," Ling Rui replied. Tentatively, he brushed Wang Yue's hand away as if he needed to prove to both of them that he could stand without support. "Don't worry. I'll make us some coffee."

It was a sweet promise, but Wang Yue felt guilty. Ling Rui wasn't feeling well, so Wang Yue should be the one spoiling him and not the other way around. "Lemme help." It was the least he could do.

"I can show you where we store our coffee," Ling Rui said, putting on his slippers. Apparently, he didn't intend to change out of his pajamas yet. "We don't need it often, so it's kinda hidden at the back of the cabinet."

Without waiting for Wang Yue, Ling Rui started walking towards the door. He could be so stubborn sometimes. "You usually prefer tea, right?" Wang Yue asked to catch his attention.

"Yeah, it's healthier," Ling Rui confirmed. He paused, finally waiting for Wang Yue to follow him. "But sometimes, I need coffee."

"Doctor Peng mentioned something like that." Wang Yue quickly put on some pants and grabbed his phone before hurrying to Ling Rui. He stood close to him in case he needed to steady him again. 

Awkwardly, Ling Rui rubbed the nape of his neck. "Whenever I drink coffee at the hospital, everyone gets worried. Peng Bo usually teases me about it while everyone else doesn't even dare to talk to me anymore because they are afraid of bothering me when I'm tired or stressed." 

"That could come in handy if you just want some peace and quiet some days," Wang Yue remarked.

"Huh." Ling Rui blinked. "I guess," he replied thoughtfully as if he had never even thought about using this to his advantage. Turning around, he opened the door, and they left the bedroom.

Ling Yazhi was awake but still lying on the sofa bed, wrapped up in her blanket, tiredly browsing her phone. "Morning," she mumbled, without looking at them.

"Morning," Wang Yue and Ling Rui whispered. 

Ling Zhu was busy in the kitchen, probably preparing breakfast.

"Are the others still asleep?" Ling Rui asked, and Ling Yazhi hummed in confirmation. 

How early was it? Wang Yue hadn't even checked the time. He took his phone out of his pocket and realized that it was only around half past 7. Maybe Ling Rui shouldn't have set his alarm so early.

"You're already up?" Ling Zhu asked when they went to the kitchen. As soon as her gaze fell on Ling Rui, her eyes widened in surprise. She dropped the towel she had been holding and quickly walked over to cup Ling Rui's face with both hands. "What's wrong, son? You're not looking well."

"I'm just tired, Ma," Ling Rui mumbled as his cheeks got squeezed. "I need a coffee."

"Sit down, sit down," Ling Zhu immediately said, pushing Ling Rui towards the dining table. "I'll take care of it."

"Ma, I can—"

"No, you sit down," Ling Zhu insisted. "You're too pale. I don't want you to faint! Tell him, Xiao Yue!"

"Uh." Awkwardly, Wang Yue watched how Ling Zhu pushed on Ling Rui's shoulder, getting him to sit. Ling Rui didn't show much resistance, an exhausted sigh slipping from his lips when he sat down and grabbed the edge of the table for support. "Yeah." For once, Wang Yue agreed with Ling Zhu. "He's too tired. He should rest."

Pouting, Ling Rui peeked at Wang Yue. "Traitor," he whispered. The comment would have hurt if Ling Rui hadn't pushed his bottom lip even further forward, obviously overdoing it on purpose. 

"There, there." Playfully, Wang Yue patted Ling Rui's head. "Take it easy." He left his pouting boyfriend behind and went to the kitchen, taking two mugs out of the cabinet. Ling Zhu had already fetched the ground coffee and put several spoonfuls into the coffee machine.

"Do you want some coffee, too, Xiao Yue?" she asked without interrupting her task.

"Yeah," Wang Yue replied. "Please," he added. "If that's okay."

"Of course, it is." Ling Zhu whirled around and smiled. "Just sit down and let Ayi take care of everything."

"Oh." Wang Yue felt awkward letting her do all the work, but he couldn't really be of much help in this case anyway. There was no point in him watching as the drip coffee machine did its work. "Okay." He returned to the table and sat down next to Ling Rui. "How are you feel—" Wang Yue flinched and broke off his question when a phone suddenly rang. Who called people this early on a Saturday morning? 

Frowning, Ling Rui took his phone out of his pocket and accepted the call. "Fangning?" 

At once, Wang Yue felt someone staring at them from behind, a shudder running down his back. When he peeked over his shoulder, he saw Ling Zhu leaning against the counter, watching Ling Rui like a hawk.

"Just tired, don't worry," Ling Rui said. 

Had Lu Fangning noticed that he wasn't feeling well just from the way he sounded when picking up the phone? She really knew him well — maybe even better than Wang Yue ever would. Clicking his tongue, he shook his head. He shouldn't think that. If he paid close attention, he would soon be able to read Ling Rui well, too.

"Yes, exactly. Furniture—" Ling Rui turned around to glare at his mother "—for the whole flat."

Ling Zhu's face lit up in understanding, and she turned back around to make breakfast. What had she been thinking? Wang Yue couldn't help but remember how much Ling Zhu desired grandchildren. It couldn't be that she was still hoping for Ling Rui and Lu Fangning to get back together, could it? Warily, Wang Yue balled his hands into fists, sitting up a bit straighter. 

Ling Rui rolled his eyes as he averted his gaze from his mother. "Second and third floor? Alright." He continued to listen to Lu Fangning, making little sounds of confirmation every now and then. "A bit, yes. Fifth floor, alright." 

Wang Yue started to feel a sense of dread. How many floors would they have to check out?

"It's okay. We will take a look around on our own first."

Wang Yue hoped she hadn't suggested coming with them. He couldn't bear her overwhelming presence for so long.

"Yes, we also need to do the kitchen," Ling Rui said. "At 1 o'clock?" he repeated, sounding exhausted. "No, no. It's okay. Thank you for arranging everything on such short notice. I owe you one." He laughed. "Alright, alright. Talk to you soon. And thank you. Yeah, bye-bye."

Sighing, Ling Rui ended the call. "This might take longer than I thought," he mumbled.

"What did she say?" Wang Yue asked curiously.

"She told me which floors will have what we're looking for," Ling Rui explained. "We also got an appointment at 1 o'clock with a professional kitchen planner." 

Wang Yue frowned. "What's there to plan?"

"A lot," Ling Rui replied, looking a bit perplexed. "We can't just buy any kitchen cabinetry. It's gotta be custom-made so it fits perfectly into the flat."

"Oh." Wang Yue was pretty sure that it didn't have to be done that way and that cheaper possibilities existed, but unlike Wang Yue, Ling Rui probably wouldn't be satisfied with only a sink, a fridge, and a hotplate. "Okay."

"Don't worry." Soothingly, Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's knee. "We'll be in good hands. Fangning made sure one of her best employees will advise us."

Wang Yue hummed. He hadn't been worried about that. A big and expensive furniture store like Lu Fangning owned was bound to have capable employees, wasn't it? He just didn't want to know how expensive everything would be. Just thinking about it made his stomach turn, even though Ling Rui had offered to pay for everything. Wang Yue still didn't feel well about getting so much expensive stuff. But it was Ling Rui's kitchen, and Wang Yue would only use it as little as possible. So it was Ling Rui's decision how much money he wanted to spend on it. If Ling Rui had the money, he could spend it. Wang Yue wasn't in any position to berate him about how much he was allowed to spend or had to save. 

"I still have to call our landlady and tell her that we'll renovate on our own," Ling Rui mumbled more to himself than Wang Yue, staring at his phone.

"Now?" Wang Yue asked.

Blinking, Ling Rui looked up as if he only realized now that he had spoken out loud before. "Later. I don't want to bother her at this hour. Maybe she's still asleep."

Wang Yue nodded. They shouldn't wake her up because of this. 

"Two cups of coffee for my tired boys," Ling Zhu said, placing the mugs on the table and immediately leaving again. 

"Thanks," Wang Yue said. He wrapped his hands around the big mug, relishing its warmth as he watched the coffee steaming. 

"Thanks, Ma," Ling Rui replied.

"And here's some milk and sugar," Ling Zhu added after returning from the kitchen again.

Ling Rui added a bit of sugar and lots of milk to his coffee, questioningly looking at Wang Yue. But Wang Yue only shook his head. He liked his coffee black. Milk and sugar only diluted the taste. He lifted the cup and inhaled deeply. He loved the smell. Carefully, he took a sip. It was hot, but the rich and slightly bitter taste on his tongue was heavenly. He hummed happily. 

The smile on Ling Rui's lips told him that he would get coffee more often from now on. Wang Yue didn't think he had done anything to deserve getting spoiled, but he might be able to live with receiving a cup of coffee every now and then. 

 

---

 

After breakfast with their family —Wang Yue didn't manage to stomach more than a few spoons of oatmeal— everyone took turns in the bathroom, getting ready. Fortunately, Ling Rui had felt better after drinking his coffee and eating something, so Wang Yue was no longer worried he'd suddenly get dizzy again and fall over. 

They all left the house at the same time, the Ling ladies going to the aquarium with Wang Chao, and Wang Yue and Ling Rui going to Lu Fangning's furniture store. Wang Yue felt bad for letting Ling Rui drive every time they went out together and had intended to take Ling Rui along on his bike today, but it was raining heavily, and Wang Yue didn't want to subject Ling Rui to that. Instead, Wang Yue was once again sitting in the passenger seat, peeking at Ling Rui from time to time to make sure he wasn't getting dizzy again like this morning. 

When they got closer to their goal, Wang Yue immediately felt a sense of dread. Everything about this building was way too big and overwhelming. He was pretty sure if he stood in front of it and looked up, he wouldn't be able to see the top. Fortunately, he didn't have a chance to try as Ling Rui turned the car to the side and drove into the underground parking lot. Wang Yue couldn't remember ever seeing such a big parking lot before. He tried to memorize the parking space number —1640— so they could find Ling Rui's car again later while Ling Rui already placed a hand on his lower back and led him towards a door, up some stairs, and through a corridor. Wang Yue was pretty certain that he would have gotten lost on his own before even arriving at the first floor of the building. The place was bustling with people, and the music was too loud and happy for Wang Yue's liking. Everything about this bordered on too much. 

"Where do we start?" Ling Rui asked, and Wang Yue almost panicked. Hadn't Ling Rui thought this through after talking to Lu Fangning this morning? Why did Wang Yue have to make that decision? From what he remembered, they had the appointment for the kitchen at 1 o'clock. So they had to start with something else. He didn't even care where they started, he just wanted to get away from the main entrance before they were overrun by all the people rushing in.

"Bed?" Wang Yue suggested carefully. They needed a lot of furniture, and Wang Yue couldn't recall everything they needed, but he knew that Wang Chao needed a bed. Everything else could wait in Wang Yue's opinion. He could live without a sofa, without chairs and tables, without wardrobes and shelves. He could even live without a bed for himself and just sleep on the floor, but Wang Chao needed a decent bed. His brother had enough problems with nightmares every now and then. He at least needed a comfortable bed at night.

"Alright." Ling Rui nodded. "Bedroom furniture is on the third floor."

They went up some escalators, and Wang Yue made sure to stick close to Ling Rui. He was still surprised by how many people were already here at this early hour. Didn't they have better things to do on their Saturday mornings than look at furniture that was probably too expensive to be bought anyway? Or maybe that was only Wang Yue's problem.

When they arrived on the third floor, Ling Rui looked around before turning to the left. Wang Yue quickly followed.

"We need beds, nightstands, and wardrobes," Ling Rui listed, "for Wang Chao and for us."

"Our wardrobe might still be okay despite the water damage," Wang Yue remarked.

"We'll buy a new one for your brother," Ling Rui replied, walking through the aisles as if he knew exactly where he was going. Maybe Lu Fangning had given him more detailed instructions than Wang Yue knew. "Don't worry."

Knowing that Ling Rui probably wouldn't accept no for an answer, Wang Yue gave in. "Then I'll use the old wardrobe for my clothes."

Ling Rui frowned. "That's not necessary, Xiao Yue. We'll just get a big wardrobe for our bedroom. I've had enough of storing my clothes in the open like I'm doing now." Wang Yue had been wondering about that for a while now. It made sense that Ling Rui wanted a proper wardrobe considering how tidy he was. So that wasn't the point that surprised Wang Yue.

"You wanna share a wardrobe with me?"

Ling Rui stopped walking to look at Wang Yue in surprise. "Do you not want to share one? I thought getting a big one would be easier than two small ones standing next to each other."

Wang Yue opened his mouth to protest, only to close it again afterwards. Now that he thought about it, he had to admit that Ling Rui was right about this. One big wardrobe was probably also cheaper than two small ones. He really knew nothing about living together with a partner. Wang Yue was afraid of causing chaos in Ling Rui's wardrobe, but if he only ever touched one or two shelves, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. But then they could use his old wardrobe for Wang Chao after all. Throwing it away, even though it wasn't broken yet, felt wrong. But it also felt wrong for Wang Yue to get a new wardrobe —even if it was only a small part of it— while giving the old wardrobe to his brother. New things were always meant for Wang Chao, not for him. 

"Xiao Yue?"

"I—" He tried to collect his thoughts. "You want to buy a wardrobe for yourself, and let me use parts of it, and you want to buy a wardrobe for my brother?"

"I'll buy a wardrobe for us," Ling Rui corrected, and Wang Yue didn't know how he felt about that specification. It wasn't really his wardrobe if Ling Rui paid for it, was it? "And I'll buy a wardrobe for Wang Chao."

"Even though our old wardrobe isn't broken yet?" 

"Xiao Yue." Patiently, Ling Rui placed a hand on Wang Yue's shoulder. "I know you don't want to waste money, furniture, or anything, and that is very laudable, but remember the state of your flat. There was mold behind every piece of furniture I checked. I'm certain some of it also got stuck to the back of your old wardrobe. Even if you clean it, there's no guarantee you'll be able to eliminate it all. It might be back before you know it. It's not healthy."

Wang Yue had forgotten about the mold. Remembering the state of his flat still felt like a nightmare. It was only natural to suppress some parts of it, wasn't it? "You're right," he whispered. He couldn't risk Wang Chao getting sick because of a moldy wardrobe in his bedroom.

Smiling, Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's shoulder. "Let's look for beds first, and then get matching nightstands and wardrobes." 

They continued their way through the spacious floor, went around a corner, and stood before an endless amount of beds. Wang Yue didn't even know where to begin.

"Looks like it starts with single beds, so let's look for something for Wang Chao first," Ling Rui suggested.

"Yeah," Wang Yue agreed. "I'll pay for it," he reminded Ling Rui about what they had agreed on last night. 

Wang Yue looked at the first bed and almost choked when he noticed the price. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he walked to the next one. They probably put the most expensive beds first, hoping people would buy these instead of searching for the cheaper ones. Unfortunately, the second and third beds weren't any cheaper. But Wang Yue didn't give up hope yet. This store was huge. There had to be something he could afford.

At some point, he gave up on the first aisle and rushed through the second and the third and—

"Xiao Yue, slow down," Ling Rui said, hurrying after him. "Are you looking for something specific?"

Wang Yue couldn't say that he was looking for something that was actually affordable, could he?

"Does Wang Chao have any favorite colors or a type of mattress he prefers?"

"Type of mattress?" Wang Yue repeated, confused. A mattress was a mattress wasn't it? 

"Yes, like innerspring mattresses or memory foam or something else?" 

Wang Yue looked at Ling Rui with a blank expression. 

"Sorry. We can think about that after getting a bed frame."

"Bed frame?" Wang Yue repeated, getting a bad feeling about this.

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed. "If you read the description, it says that these are only bed frames." He pointed at all the beds they had passed. "We still need a slatted frame and a mattress."

Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui had no reason to lie but couldn't believe it anyway. He walked up to a bed and read the fine print on the big price tag. Ling Rui was right. The price was only for the bed frame.

Wang Yue couldn't afford this. He didn't even have any savings left. He only had his pay from last month, and apparently, that wasn't enough to buy a bed frame — much less a slatted frame and mattress. Until about half a year ago, he still used to have savings. But he had spent it all on his brother to make up for his guilty conscience after almost abandoning him. And ever since breaking up with Meilin, he hadn't managed to save anything anymore. When they had still been dating, Wang Yue had often taken Wang Chao to the restaurant to eat leftovers for lunch, taking more leftovers with them for dinner or to eat them as breakfast the next day. Wang Yue only realized afterwards how much money that had saved him — groceries weren't cheap. 

He also hadn't had any idea how expensive new furniture was. The bed he had bought for Wang Chao last year had been secondhand — a complete bed, not just a part like they offered here. 

Speechless, Wang Yue stared at the price tag and the mocking fine print description. This had to be a bad joke.

"It's okay, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui whispered. Stepping up behind Wang Yue, he placed his hands on his shoulders. 

"It's not!" Wang Yue replied, his voice high-pitched as he stepped away from Ling Rui's touch. He laughed hysterically. "I can't even afford a bed frame. I can't afford anything." He felt pathetic.

"I'll pay for Wang Chao's bed," Ling Rui said. "You can buy something else for him."

Wang Yue shook his head. "I can't afford what he needs the most."

"Yue'er." Ling Rui reached for Wang Yue's other shoulder and turned him around, facing him. "I know that new furniture is expensive. That's why I offered to pay. And don't forget that I'll also get a 50% discount on everything. Also, there has to be something cheaper. This isn't from the collection Fangning recommended to me."

"I'm a bad brother." Wang Yue averted his eyes, ashamed.

"You're not." Ling Rui grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his eyes. His expression was stern. "You're a good brother. It's too soon to give up. Also, do you know what else Wang Chao needs?"

Wang Yue shook his head, unknowing what Ling Rui was getting at.

"A nice, fluffy carpet," Ling Rui replied. "He loves sitting and playing on the floor, doesn't he? So I thought we should get a big carpet for the living room. Not too fluffy —so he can still drive his toy cars on it— but thick enough so he doesn't get cold from sitting on the floor."

It was such a sweet idea, and Wang Yue immediately felt guilty for never thinking about it himself. "Aren't carpets expensive, too?"

"Some, yeah," Ling Rui replied. "But I checked the online store. They also have some cheap ones with good quality."

Wang Yue took a deep breath. "Okay." He didn't have any choice, did he? If he couldn't afford a bed for the night, he could at least get a carpet for Wang Chao, so he had something warm to sit on during the day.

"Alright." Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's shoulder one more time before letting go. "So, what kind of bed would he like?"

Wang Yue really didn't think that his brother had any preferences when it came to that. "Just let me choose between the cheapest ones — please," he added firmly. It was already difficult enough to accept Ling Rui's generosity. Ling Rui could at least get the cheapest expensive stuff — not like Wang Chao didn't deserve the more expensive ones. But they had more things to buy than a single bed.

"Let's talk to a sales associate and get his recommendation."

 

---

 

Wang Yue had to praise Lu Fangning's staff. They had asked for the cheapest bed frames, and even though the guy had only realized that he was serving Lu Fangning's ex-husband when they filled in the sales contract, he had really offered them the cheapest bed frame, slatted frame, and mattress combination. Ling Rui had messaged Lu Fangning to confirm since only the bed frame was from the collection she had recommended, and she replied that the slatted frames and mattresses didn't belong to any specific collections but were the cheapest they had in store. Wang Yue didn't think she had any reason to lie to them. He was impressed. He had always thought that everyone working at such a luxury furniture store would try to sell their more expensive products first, even if that meant ignoring their customers' wishes. 

The bed Ling Rui had ended up buying for Wang Chao had been so cheap that Wang Yue would have easily managed to afford it, but Ling Rui had still convinced him not to pay, so that Wang Yue wouldn't spend such a large amount of money on the third day of the month. Another moment that proved that Ling Rui always rationally thought everything through. 

Since they were surrounded by beds now anyway, they looked for a double bed next. Wang Yue was at a loss about what to do when Ling Rui asked him what kind of mattress he preferred. It shouldn't even be Wang Yue's decision. Ling Rui was the one buying this bed, even though he intended to let Wang Yue sleep in it, too. The sales associate led them to several cheap beds, offering to let them try lying down. 

"What about this one?" Ling Rui asked Wang Yue, pointing at yet another mattress. "Try it."

Wang Yue lay down, sinking into the soft fluffiness. It was too much. "I can manage," he replied vaguely.

"I don't want you to manage, Xiao Yue," Ling Rui replied. "I want you to be comfortable."

Wang Yue didn't feel comfortable at all — neither on the mattress nor in this situation. Ling Rui narrowed his eyes, looking too much like Ling Yunzhi before he sighed.

"Just tell me if you don't like it," Ling Rui said. "I'm asking because I want to hear your honest opinion."

"That thing is way too soft. It feels like getting sucked down by quicksand," Wang Yue blurted out.

Ling Rui blinked once before he burst out laughing. If Wang Yue's honesty made Ling Rui happy, he should try to be honest more often.

The sales associate snickered before pointing to the left. "If you would follow me over there? If you prefer firm mattresses you might like our new latex foam mattress."

They followed the sales associate, and when he pointed at the bed, Wang Yue slowly lay down, careful not to dirty anything with his shoes. 

"What do you think?" Ling Rui asked, his eyes full of hope. It looked cute how eager he was, but Wang Yue wasn't happy with this choice of mattress either.

"This thing is as hard as a brick," he blurted out. "You'll break my back if you fuck me on this."

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed, scandalized, his cheeks and ears growing red. Flustered, his eyes darted to the sales associate and then back to Wang Yue, staring at him with an intense plea reflected in his eyes.

"Oh." Wang Yue only now remembered that they weren't alone. "Fuck, sorry." Awkwardly, he cleared his throat and sat up. "I didn't mean to—"

"I'll leave you alone so you can discuss things in private," the sales associate said politely. "Take your time and feel free to test the other mattresses."

"Thanks," Wang Yue mumbled, watching the sales associate leave while Ling Rui whined in embarrassment, hiding his face behind his big hands. Wang Yue licked his lips, looking at Ling Rui's long fingers as his thoughts drifted off to other methods to put these mattresses to test. He groaned. Now really wasn't the time to fuck. "Come on." Getting up, Wang Yue reached for Ling Rui's elbow to pull him along. "Let's check out another one."

"How can you just—" Ling Rui yelped when Wang Yue suddenly pushed him down to sit on another mattress. Blinking, Ling Rui scooted a bit further back and shifted this weight. "This one feels nice. It's not too hard, but not too soft either. It's bouncy." 

Since Ling Rui looked way too cute, sitting on this bed with his face flushed, staring up at Wang Yue with big eyes, Wang Yue couldn't restrain himself. Smirking, he straddled Ling Rui's lap, relishing the shocked expression on Ling Rui's face as he slapped his hands over his mouth to muffle another loud yelp. Teasingly, Wang Yue hummed. "Yeah, it's not hard under my knees."

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui hissed, reprimanding, his cheeks dark red. 

Smirking, Wang Yue pushed Ling Rui backwards before letting himself fall down, too. He wrapped his arms around Ling Rui and turned them to the side, rolling over the mattress. The look of shock on Ling Rui's face when he was suddenly lying above Wang Yue, propped up on his elbows, was priceless. Snorting, Wang Yue raised an eyebrow. "Comfortable?"

Embarrassed, Ling Rui flopped down, burying his face in the crook of Wang Yue's neck. "I guess," he mumbled. 

"Yeah?" Wang Yue asked, trying to focus on the mattress under his back and not on Ling Rui's hot body on top of him. He felt comfortable being trapped like this. 

Humming, Ling Rui carefully freed himself from Wang Yue's embrace to lie down on the mattress. "Yes," he replied, taking Wang Yue's hand. "It's comfortable." 

"It is," Wang Yue confirmed. 

They turned their heads towards each other and their eyes met, Ling Rui chuckling happily. "This one then?"

Wang Yue nodded. "Yeah." It was comfortable enough and Ling Rui seemed to like it. The only question was how expensive it was. "How much does it—" The question died on his lips when Ling Rui pressed one of his slender fingers against Wang Yue's mouth.

"We'll take this one." It wasn't a question, and Wang Yue knew well enough how stubborn Ling Rui could be. Sighing, he gave in. 

"Alright." Maybe it was better if he didn't even know the price.

They stood up and Ling Rui fussed about adjusting their clothes before they went back to the sales associate. Afterwards, they got matching nightstands and wardrobes —for them and for Wang Chao— and the total prices already made Wang Yue's mind swirl, even though that was only the bedroom furniture. 

They went to the second floor next to decide on a sofa-loveseat set and some shelves and cabinets for the living room. They even found a nice big carpet that was affordable within Wang Yue's budget — even more so since Ling Rui got the 50% discount. Wang Yue handed him the money. It felt good when Ling Rui accepted it. It was a ridiculously small amount —especially compared to what Ling Rui would pay today and already had paid for Wang Yue and his brother this week— but it still served to soothe Wang Yue's guilty conscience. 

When they were about to leave this floor, they passed by a collection of coat racks and Wang Yue stopped in his tracks with wide eyes. He had wanted to buy one for weeks, so Ling Rui could hang up his coat when he visited him. Once they lived together, Ling Rui wouldn't be visiting him anymore, but he would still need a coat rack. This was Wang Yue's chance to finally buy something for Ling Rui. He still had enough money left and a coat rack couldn't be too expensive, could it?

"You need a coat rack, don't you?" Wang Yue asked, walking over to take a closer look. "I'll buy one for you."

Perplexed, Ling Rui looked at Wang Yue. "You don't have to."

He had to. He had always had to — since weeks ago. And now, his time had finally come. Stubbornly, Wang Yue ignored Ling Rui's words. "Which one do you like?"

"Xiao Yue, I don't need a new coat rack. I've got one in my bedroom at home, remember? I'll just take it with me when we move."

For once, Wang Yue had been ready to stand his ground, a whole speech ready at the tip of his tongue, explaining to Ling Rui why this was important to him. But now, Wang Yue could only close his mouth again after parting his lips. He nodded barely noticeable, silently agreeing with Ling Rui. It didn't matter that this was important to Wang Yue. Ling Rui already had a coat rack he could take with him. It would be a waste of money and resources to buy another. There was no reason to buy one — except for the sake of Wang Yue's sense of self-esteem.

"Xiao Yue?" Ling Rui asked, his brows furrowed. It looked like he tried to read Wang Yue's mind, his expression so similar to Ling Yunzhi —who always did manage to read Wang Yue's thoughts— that he averted his face, afraid to get seen.

"It's fine," Wang Yue said, trying to sound convincing. "Let's go. We still have a lot to do." Without awaiting Ling Rui's reply, Wang Yue turned around and started walking away.

A hand grabbed his wrist and held him back.

"Wait!" Ling Rui exclaimed. For a moment, it was silent as neither of them moved. "It's dark gray!" Ling Rui suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Perplexed, Wang Yue turned around to stare at Ling Rui.

"My coat rack," Ling Rui said, but Wang Yue still didn't understand. "It's dark gray. It won't go well together with the new sideboard we bought, and ma's coat rack is almost broken, so she wanted another one. I could give her mine and—"

"Which one do you want?" Wang Yue asked, full of hope, pointing at the large collection of coat racks.

Ling Rui seemed to exhale in relief and let go of Wang Yue's wrist. Pondering, he walked through the aisle, looking at all the different coat racks. "Either something white or something black," he mumbled, deep in thought. Nodding, Wang Yue followed Ling Rui, waiting for his decision. Ling Rui peeked at Wang Yue, unable to hide his surprised expression. 

"What?" Warily, Wang Yue narrowed his eyes.

Defensively, Ling Rui raised his hands and shook his head. "Nothing!" He lowered his hands and smiled softly. "Just surprised by how eager you are about this."

"I always wanted to get one for you," Wang Yue admitted, mumbling. 

"You kind of mentioned it before, but I had no idea you cared about it so much."

"Because you care about it," Wang Yue blurted out, looking into Ling Rui's eyes. "You care about your appearance and hate wrinkled or dirty clothes." Wang Yue hated how Ling Rui's coat got dusty every time he had to hang it over one of Wang Yue's chairs. His eyes raked over Ling Rui's perfect figure. "And you look fucking amazing in this coat," he praised sincerely, making Lign Rui blush. "So you need a proper coat rack to hang it up."

The smile on Ling Rui's face grew bigger and bigger, dimples decorating his cheeks. "That's so thoughtful of you, Xiao Yue."

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Wang Yue put his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket and turned around to avoid Ling Rui's gaze. "You're exaggerating."

"I'm not." Ling Rui chuckled. "Thanks, Yue'er."

Clicking his tongue, Wang Yue raked his teeth over his bottom lip. He couldn't accept Ling Rui's praise without telling him the whole truth. "I'm also doing it for me."

"Hm?"

"I feel bad that you always do so much for me while I can't even afford the littlest things for you."

"Xiao Yue." Ling Rui's voice was nothing but a soft whisper, a hint of pity in it. "You know you don't have to—"

"I know," Wang Yue interrupted Ling Rui. "But I want to do this for you." Nervously, he fumbled with the hem of his jacket sleeve. "Let me do this for you," he mumbled, a questioning tone in his voice. "It makes me feel better," he admitted. "More worthy of being by your side."

Ling Rui exhaled, and when Wang Yue peeked at him, Ling Rui's face looked torn as if he wanted to say a million things —probably ready to scold Wang Yue and tell him he shouldn't evaluate his self-worth on something like this— but in the end, Ling Rui only smiled proudly for some reason. "Thank you for telling me this," he said, making Wang Yue more self-aware than he liked to admit. "And thanks for buying me a coat rack." Ling Rui smiled. "I need your help to decide on one, though."

"Huh?"

"I've seen several that were to my liking."

"Oh." Wang Yue's eyes lit up in understanding. "Which ones?"

Ling Rui walked to a coat rack with a white pole and round base. "This one is nice, but something about it is bothering me." He frowned, looking unhappy that he wasn't able to pinpoint the problem. 

"Another one then?" Wang Yue suggested. If Ling Rui had spotted several ones, they didn't need to focus on this one.

"Probably, yes." Ling Rui walked ahead and came to a halt in front a black one. "Maybe something like this would be—" His voice faded as his gaze drifted off.

Confused, Wang Yue followed Ling Rui's line of view. 

"Oh my god!" Ling Rui exclaimed, already rushing away. "They have combined coat and shoe racks!"

"Uh." Unable to share the enthusiasm about this discovery, Wang Yue hurried after Ling Rui.

"You place them against the wall," Ling Rui explained, probably misinterpreting Wang Yue's confused expression with lack of knowledge. "You can store the shoes at the bottom and the coat and jackets at the top."

"I know what it is, Doctor Ling." Wang Yue didn't take it to heart but only snorted. "I just didn't know we were looking for a shoe rack as well."

"Of course we are!" Ling Rui exclaimed. "What else are we supposed to do? Just leave our shoes on the floor when we get home?"

Wang Yue raised an eyebrow. That was exactly what he had done all his life and it had never been a problem.

"Yeah, okay, alright, it is possible to live without a shoe rack, but look!" Excitedly, Ling Rui pointed at a rack. The frame was black, but on the upper back it had dark wooden boards with hooks attached and small shelves at one side, hidden behind a mirror. On the bottom were three shelves for shoes — two black, one wooden. "It even has room to store hats or gloves." Ling Rui's eyes sparkled with excitement as he examined the piece of furniture from all sides.

Seeing him so excited made Wang Yue happy. Carefully, he peeked at the price tag. It was more expensive than a simple coat rack would have been, but still cheaper than expected. Wang Yue could manage. "I like it," Wang Yue said because he knew Ling Rui valued his opinion — for whatever reason. "Do you want that one?"

"You'll buy it for us?"

For a moment, Wang Yue pondered correcting Ling Rui, telling him that he was buying it for him not them, but then he decided to let it slide. Ling Rui looked so happy. Wang Yue shouldn't risk ruining this moment. "Yes," he confirmed. "Let's take this one."

They went to the sales associate and told him to add it to their list of purchases. Like with Wang Chao's carpet, Wang Yue simply handed the money to Ling Rui — half of the amount listed on the price tag thanks to Ling Rui's membership card. For a moment, Wang Yue hadn't even thought about that anymore. But it was a welcome surprise. It made the whole thing even more affordable.

Now that Wang Yue had bought something for his brother and something for his boyfriend, he felt like a weight had been taken off of his shoulders.

"Lunch break?" Ling Rui asked as if he knew Wang Yue had just let his guard down and wasn't able to refuse in this state.

"Yeah."

 

---

 

Wang Yue shouldn't be surprised that such a huge furniture store had an upper floor filled with different restaurants and cafes but he was. It felt like another world, the smell of different meals drifting to his nose from all sides like at a food festival. Since Ling Rui's VIP membership card also gave him a 50% discount at the store-operated restaurant, they decided to eat there. 

"What do you want?" Ling Rui asked as they stood at the beginning of the big buffet. 

It was too much, and Wang Yue could only shake his head. He wasn't particularly interested in eating any of these things. "Choose whatever you want. I don't really need anything. We can share if you insist." Before Ling Rui could complain —already looking worried and displeased by Wang Yue's reply— Wang Yue pointed over his shoulder. "I'll get a table and wait for you." Before he could witness Ling Rui's reaction, Wang Yue went away and sat down at a free place further at the back, away from the busier aisles. 

Closing his eyes, Wang Yue took a deep breath. He hadn't thought that buying furniture would be so exhausting. And they weren't even done yet. They still needed to plan the kitchen, get some things for the bathroom, and then drive to the next store to buy renovation materials. And after all of that Wang Yue still had to work. It would be a long day.

When he heard the distinctive sound of a tray being placed on the table and a chair getting pulled back, Wang Yue opened his eyes. Blinking, he looked at the tray in front of him. Either Ling Rui had been indecisive or was craving too many different things at once. The tray was filled with several small plates and bowls containing rice, pasta, soup, different kinds of vegetables, fish, and meat. Did Ling Rui intend to have a feast?

Flabbergasted, Wang Yue stared at his boyfriend.

"Since you didn't give me any specifics, I had to grab whatever I could," Ling Rui explained, sounding a bit petty. 

"That's no reason to get that much," Wang Yue replied. How were they supposed to eat all of that?

Ling Rui only shrugged his shoulders and reached for a small bowl of soup. "Too late. We can't let it go to waste now."

Groaning, Wang Yue dragged a hand over his face. He wasn't stupid. Ling Rui had done this on purpose. Wang Yue couldn't even blame him for it. After all, he had asked Ling Rui to force him to eat without forcing him. Wang Yue still cringed when he thought back to his weird way of phrasing it that night. Reluctantly, he picked up his pair of chopsticks, but didn't know where to start. Couldn't he just wait until Ling Rui was done and eat his leftovers? Fortunately, the decision was taken away from him.

"Here," Ling Rui said, pushing the small bowl of soup towards him. "This is really good. You should try it."

They only had one spoon, but Wang Yue didn't mind sharing. He stirred the soup, trying to identify what it was made of. Eventually, he gave up and simply took a sip. He couldn't discern the taste, but it was delicious. 

"It's good, yeah," Wang Yue confirmed. "Do you want the rest?" he asked, already pushing the bowl away from him again.

But Ling Rui only shook his head. "No, you can finish it." He reached for some pickled vegetables. "I prefer these."

"Oh." Well, if Ling Rui didn't like the soup that much, Wang Yue should eat it for him. 

"These are so good," Ling Rui said after the next bite. "They are sour enough, but not too soggy. Here," he said, holding his chopsticks with a piece of vegetable out for Wang Yue, "try it."

Without thinking, Wang Yue leaned in and wrapped his lips around Ling Rui's chopsticks. His eyes widened in surprise as the fresh but sour taste spread on his tongue. "Yeah, not bad."

"I've gotta pickle some vegetables at home soon if I can find the time for it," Ling Rui mumbled, already eating another piece.

Afterwards, Ling Rui somehow got Wang Yue to try each and every one of the dishes he had chosen — that alone was enough to fill Wang Yue's stomach. After all, he wasn't used to eating much. Wang Yue always got a bit tense when it was time to eat, but he had to admit that it was nice to simply share food with Ling Rui while listening to him excitedly talking about cooking and buying a kitchen next.

At that moment, Wang Yue hadn't known yet how long it would take to plan a kitchen. He was utterly overwhelmed by the different designs and functionalities they offered. At some point, he had touched so many different handles for kitchen cabinets and drawers that he didn't even care anymore which ones they would get as long as they were more functional and less decorated. He was also surprised by the fact that the measurements they had gotten from the listing of the flat weren't sufficient and they had to send in the missing data as soon as possible. The staff member had offered to drop by their flat next week and measure it himself, but Ling Rui had politely declined. They didn't have a key for the flat yet, and Ling Rui visibly felt bad for causing him so much trouble.

Afterwards, they were too exhausted to look for a bathroom shelf and sink cabinet and decided to call it a day, even though they hadn't managed to buy any renovation materials either. 

When they finally returned to the parking lot and sat down in the car, they both sighed deeply.

"I'm so exhausted," Ling Rui murmured.

"Same," Wang Yue whispered. How was he supposed to survive his work shift tonight? Saturday nights were always especially busy because more people ordered food than during the week.

Sighing, Ling Rui picked up his phone. "Let me call our landlady before I forget again. We still haven't told her that we'll renovate the flat on our own." After dialing her number, Ling Rui put her on speaker and rested his arm on the center console. Wang Yue didn't know whether Ling Rui did it to let him listen in on the conversation or simply because he was too tired to hold the phone against his ear.

"A-Rui, my boy! I recognized your number," Zhang Yan said proudly as she picked up the call, chuckling.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Zhang," Ling Rui greeted.

"Always so polite." She chuckled again. "A good afternoon to you too. What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to inform you that we decided to renovate the flat ourselves so we can move in sooner."

"Oh, you're really in a hurry, aren't you? That's no problem. My husband and I will pay for the materials. Just give me the receipts once you've got them."

"Thank you," Ling Rui replied. "Also, uh, if it's not too much trouble, we would like to drop by again soon. We have to take measurements for our kitchen planner."

Zhang Yan hummed thoughtfully, and for some reason, Wang Yue was afraid she would decline.

"Let me check my calendar."

"Of course."

They waited, and Wang Yue's heart was beating faster with every passing second. Without realizing it, he grabbed Ling Rui's forearm, clinging to it for support. Surprised, Ling Rui turned his head to look at him. He placed his free hand on Wang Yue's, and his reassuring smile soothed Wang Yue's baseless anxiety. Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue relaxed. He closed his eyes and stopped squeezing Ling Rui's arm to avoid hurting him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Zhang Yan said, and Wang Yue opened his eyes again, peeking at the phone. "If you and A-Yue aren't busy tomorrow, we can meet at 11 o'clock at the house. We can sign the rental contract, and I can give you the keys for your flat so you can start measuring and renovating as soon as you want."

Caught off guard, Ling Rui and Wang Yue could only turn their heads towards each other with wide eyes. They would already get the keys? It shouldn't be such a surprise since the flat was empty and Zhang Yan had told them they could move in within two weeks, but Wang Yue still hadn't thought they would simply be given early access to the flat like that. It was too good to be true. A feeling of giddiness he hadn't felt in a long time bubbled up inside of Wang Yue, and he reflexively tried to swallow it back down. 

"A-Rui? Are you still there?" Zhang Yan's voice suddenly sounded so distant, the static noise in Wang Yue's head too loud. 

"Oh! Yes, sorry." Ling Rui cleared his throat, embarrassed. He looked at Wang Yue, a question reflected in his eyes, and Wang Yue could only nod, his lips trembling. What was Ling Rui even waiting for? As if Wang Yue could have any objections to such an offer! Ling Rui's expression softened as he intertwined his fingers with Wang Yue's and spoke up again. "We'd love to sign the contract tomorrow at 11 o'clock." 

"Good, good." The tone of Zhang Yan's voice conveyed that she was smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes, see you tomorrow," Ling Rui replied. "And thank you so much, Mrs. Zhang."

She laughed. "No need to thank me, A-Rui. Bye-bye. Say hello to your husband from me."

"I will," Ling Rui replied, his cheeks flaring up as she ended the call.

They both stared at Ling Rui's phone as if they couldn't believe this had happened just now. 

"We'll get the keys tomorrow," Ling Rui whispered.

"Yeah," Wang Yue rasped. It still felt surreal.

Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's hand and leaned in for a quick kiss. Slowly, Wang Yue felt the stress and exhaustion from the week slowly falling from his shoulders. This was really happening. They would get the keys for their flat tomorrow. The giddiness returned, and Wang Yue trembled as he once again tried to push it back. He was afraid to celebrate too soon.

"I'm excited," Ling Rui whispered against Wang Yue's lips, followed by a giggle. 

Wang Yue only managed to nod, too overcome by emotions. He felt like he was dreaming. He would get a new flat together with Ling Rui. Ling Rui would always be by his side. Wang Yue looked into Ling Rui's sparkling eyes, his heart beating faster. Ling Rui would be there every time Wang Yue returned from work. Wang Yue felt Ling Rui's breath ghosting over his lips, desire surging through his veins. Ling Rui would spend every weekend with him. Wang Yue heard Ling Rui's happy chuckle, and the giddiness finally burst free. Ling Rui would—

"I'm so fucking horny right now," Wang Yue blurted out before his brain could catch up with his mouth, squirming in his seat. The next thing he knew, he was getting pressed against the backrest, Ling Rui's lips on his, their intertwined hands bonking against the window. Moaning, Wang Yue closed his eyes, a shudder rushing through his body as he let himself get manhandled like this, his mouth plundered by Ling Rui's hot tongue.

Way too soon for Wang Yue's liking, Ling Rui leaned back again, breathing heavily. He licked his lips, and Wang Yue followed the movements with his eyes, a needy growl reverberating through his throat. Ling Rui whined in response, his cheeks flushed.

"Rui-ge." There was only raw desire in his voice.

Ling Rui inhaled sharply, his eyes wide, and he squeezed Wang Yue's hand so hard, it almost hurt. "Maybe the others aren't back from the aquarium yet," Ling Rui whispered, his voice hoarse, his thumb stroking Wang Yue's hand.

Wang Yue shifted in his seat, trying not to get any harder than he already was because of the alluring promise Ling Rui's words carried. "Let's get home?" Wang Yue suggested, trying not to sound too pushy but unable to keep his eagerness in check. He wanted Ling Rui. He needed Ling Rui.

"Yes."

 

---

 

During the drive, Wang Yue kept peeking at Ling Rui, mesmerized by his beautiful face and elegant hands. At one point, a moan slipped from his lips when Ling Rui reached for the gearshift, and Wang Yue's thoughts drifted back to memories of getting jerked off by Ling Rui. Ling Rui only hissed reprimandingly, mumbling something about having to focus on driving, and Wang Yue forced himself to close his eyes for the rest of the drive to avoid distracting Ling Rui — safety first. He pressed a hand against his mouth to muffle any moan that might have slipped from his lips otherwise as his imagination ran wild. He remembered how Ling Rui had pressed him against his seat just moments ago, imagining how Ling Rui could have climbed into his lap —cutely struggling with his long legs— to get even closer, pressing their groins together. 

When they finally arrived at the Ling family's flat, Wang Yue was rock-hard. One peek at Ling Rui's pants was enough to tell him that he wasn't the only one. Hungrily, Wang Yue licked his lips. They quickly got out of the car, rushed through the cold rain that didn't do anything to calm Wang Yue's racing heart and burning arousal, and hurried up the stairs. 

As soon as they were inside the flat and realized that they were still alone, they turned towards each other and kissed, hands desperately touching whatever they could reach. Greedily, Wang Yue sucked on Ling Rui's bottom lip while slipping out of his denim jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Ling Rui moaned against his lips, trembling as he struggled to take off his wet coat, his arm getting stuck. Snorting, Wang Yue let go of him and helped him out of his coat, hanging it on the coat rack.

They somehow managed to walk a few steps into the living room before they were drawn to each other again, hugging and kissing, hands roaming over each other's body. Wang Yue was too aroused to think clearly. When he pressed closer against Ling Rui, feeling the thick bulge pressing against his thigh, he moaned in need. He wanted to feel more of Ling Rui's cock.

Wrapping an arm around Ling Rui's lower back, Wang Yue pulled him closer, deliberately rubbing his thigh against Ling Rui's thick erection.

"Yue'er, I—"

"We're back!" Ling Zhu exclaimed as the door suddenly burst open.

Startled, Wang Yue jumped back while Ling Rui crouched down with a yelp and hugged his legs to hide the obvious tent in his pants. His face was bright red, and he quickly turned his back towards everyone.

"What's wrong, son?" Ling Zhu frowned as she stepped into the living room after taking off her wet shoes. 

"J-just tidying up!" Ling Rui exclaimed, reaching for some of Wang Chao's toys lying close-by. He put them into the toy box before sorting everything, putting the cars in one corner and the building blocks in the other. 

Ling Yunzhi picked up Wang Yue's denim jacket. Her eyes darted to Ling Rui first, then to Wang Yue, and even though she kept a neutral expression, Wang Yue knew that she knew exactly what was going on. 

Wang Chao and Ling Yazhi were still outside, putting away the wet umbrellas.

Awkwardly, Wang Yue shifted his stance and put his hands in his pockets to hide his erection. It was easier for him than for Ling Rui, who had to hide such a thick bulge in tight slacks. Wang Yue swallowed hard, trying to think about something unsexy to kill his boner. He should also help Ling Rui out of this situation before he died from embarrassment, but that was easier said than done. 

"Di!" Wang Chao exclaimed excitedly as he came rushing into the living room. His pants were a bit wet from the rain, but at least he had taken off his shoes to avoid leaving puddles all over the living room floor. "There were so many fish!"

"Yeah?" Wang Yue ruffled his brother's hair. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" Wang Chao laughed happily, and Wang Yue felt at ease. He was glad his brother had gotten a chance to go to an aquarium. Wang Yue wouldn't have been able to afford it. He hadn't even considered it, even though he knew his brother loved fish lately.

"How much do I owe you for the entrance ticket?" Wang Yue asked the Ling ladies, but his eyes were on Ling Yunzhi.

"Nothing."

Hesitantly, he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. Was it okay to accept that reply? "You sure?"

"Yes," Ling Yunzhi confirmed, slightly narrowing her eyes.

Wang Yue took a deep breath, knowing he couldn't win this discussion. "Thanks for taking him there."

"You're welcome," Ling Yunzhi replied, smiling proudly. Was she happy that Wang Yue hadn't apologized but thanked her like she had taught him yesterday?

"Chao'er's excitement was contagious." Ling Zhu giggled. In the next moment, however, she turned her eyes towards Ling Rui and frowned. "What are you still crouching down for, son? You've already cleaned up everything. Stop overdoing it."

Ling Rui froze, no doubt feeling called out. A second later, he jumped up and wordlessly ran to his bedroom. They all blinked at the door in confusion. It didn't take long until he returned, holding a pile of clothes in front of his crotch that hopefully only looked way too suspicious in Wang Yue's eyes. "I'll take a shower!" Ling Rui slammed the bathroom door shut behind him. If it weren't way too adorable to watch Ling Rui desperately struggling to hide his embarrassment, Wang Yue would feel sorry for riling him up so much.

"What's wrong with him?" Ling Zhu asked, her eyebrows knitted.

"Leave him be," Ling Yunzhi said. "He's a healthy young man."

Ling Zhu frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" When her eyes drifted to Wang Yue, he shifted awkwardly, his dick still half-hard but hopefully not as obviously visible as Ling Rui's bulge had been.

"I, uh, I've gotta go to work." It was still a bit early, but Wang Yue didn't feel like staying here. He patted Wang Chao's shoulder. "You can tell me more about the fish tomorrow, alright?"

His brother looked a bit disappointed but nodded. Trusting that Ling Rui and his family would make dinner for Wang Chao and put him to bed, Wang Yue slipped into his denim jacket and grabbed his keys. 

"What about dinner?" Ling Zhu called when Wang Yue already opened the door.

"No, thanks," Wang Yue replied, closing the door before he could hear her undoubtedly disappointed reply.

He wasn't hungry after Ling Rui had made him try so many different dishes during lunch.

As he drove to work, he tried but failed to avoid imagining how Ling Rui was taking a shower right now. Was he so aroused that he couldn't refrain from touching himself, even though his family was home? Or would he do it in bed later? Or would he wait for Wang Yue to return home? He sucked in a sharp breath. The thought of coming home to a Ling Rui with flushed cheeks, needy and waiting for him, was too hot.

Wang Yue's excitement was killed as soon as he arrived at the restaurant. Even though he was early, his boss immediately handed him a pile of meals to deliver, and that was only the beginning.

It was a very exhausting work shift, even more than expected on a Saturday night, leaving Wang Yue not even one minute to take a breath, new deliveries always piling up the moment he returned to the restaurant. The rain and wind were cold, and by the time Wang Yue finally returned home, he was chilled to the bone. 

Knowing that he would only disturb Ling Rui's sleep if he went to bed like that, he dared to take a hot shower to warm up before sneaking into bed and cuddling against Ling Rui, sharing his warmth. 

Exhaustion made him fall asleep immediately.

 

Notes:

I'm so glad I managed to rewrite and edit this chapter.

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Chapter 19: A dream come true (Sunday, April 4th)

Summary:

Wang Yue and Ling Rui get the keys for their new flat.

Notes:

Second to last chapter. Wang Yue made so much progress in this fic, I wanna cry!

7,4k words

Yawning, Wang Yue blinked his eyes open. He was lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. The light inside the room was dim, but it wasn't dark anymore. The night had to be over. A glance to the right told Wang Yue that Ling Rui had already gotten up. Feeling needy, Wang Yue scooted over and buried his nose in Ling Rui's pillow. It smelled like vanilla — Ling Rui's scent. It was soothing, but Wang Yue wished Ling Rui were here, not just his scent.

Groaning, Wang Yue peeked towards the window. Even though the thin white curtains were drawn shut, he noticed that —just like yesterday— it was raining outside, gray clouds blocking the sunlight. He sighed. How late was it? Reluctantly, he let go of Ling Rui's pillow to turn around and reached for his phone. It was already after 9 o'clock. He had really slept in. 

Excitement suddenly rushed through his veins as he remembered their appointment at 11 o'clock — they would sign the rental contract and get the keys for their flat! It still felt like a dream. Wang Yue sat up in bed and pinched the skin on his forearm. He flinched. The pain was real. This was real. 

Feeling impatient, he quickly changed his clothes and rushed out of the room.

 

---

 

Wang Yue had been too nervous to stomach any breakfast, but he hadn't even cared about the worried glances Ling Rui and his family gave him. Instead, he spent an hour playing with Wang Chao to distract himself from checking the time every few seconds before he and Ling Rui eventually got into the car and drove to their new flat.

They had decided to leave Wang Chao with Ling Zhu, not knowing how long it would take to discuss and sign the contract. Wang Chao would only have gotten bored. 

They arrived early, but just like last time, the lovely landlady was already waiting for them. She wore her thick, orange muffler and white jacket again, looking like a tiny ball on thin legs. She stood under the roof, a closed pink umbrella in her hand, a white handbag hanging on her forearm. She smiled when she noticed them coming over.

"Hi," Wang Yue greeted, having run the short distance from the car while shielding himself from the wind with his arms. Nervously, he tried to fix his hair that had been messed up by the weather.

"Hello, Mrs. Zhang," Ling Rui said as he caught up. He stepped under the roof and closed his black umbrella, little droplets of water falling off as he shook it, careful not to get anything on the bag he carried. "You could have gotten under my umbrella," he mumbled after turning towards Wang Yue and brushing a strand of hair to the other side of his head, helping him to adjust it properly.

"Thanks," Wang Yue whispered, putting down his hands to let Ling Rui fix his hair.

Zhang Yan chuckled as she watched them. "Hello, A-Yue and A-Rui," she finally greeted, nodding warmly. "Let's go inside," she said once Ling Rui was done and had turned his attention to her. "It's dry and at least a bit warmer there."

Wang Yue hadn't even noticed the cold, but Ling Rui's nose was already getting red, even though he was wearing his thick, beige coat. They wiped their shoes on the doormat, and Zhang Yan led them into a room at the end of the hallway. 

"We've got a little office here," she explained as she unlocked the door and held it open for them. "Our facility manager uses this room, too."

Curiously, they stepped inside. It was a small room with a big window above the heater. The walls were plastered but not painted, metal shelves filled with tools standing on the right side of the room, a half-empty sack of road salt and a broom leaning against it. On the left were three chairs and a small wooden desk with an old computer and printer.

"Make yourselves comfortable," Zhang Yan said, gesturing to the chairs. She placed her handbag on the desk and walked to the wall with the window.

"Thanks," Ling Rui said, sitting down. Wang Yue quietly followed him. His hands were sweating, and he nervously rubbed his palms against his thighs. This was really happening. As soon as they signed the contract, a new part of Wang Yue's life would begin. 

After turning on the heating, Zhang Yan opened her jacket and sat down on the other side of the desk. Her legs were so short that her feet barely reached the ground. She turned on the computer and took a spectacles case out of her handbag. Glasses on her nose, she waited for the computer to boot.

"It's a bit old and slow," she explained. "But it still does its job, so we haven't replaced it yet."

"That's fine," Ling Rui said.

"No reason to throw it away if it still works," Wang Yue added, and Zhang Yan hummed in agreement. He knew the feeling only too well. Sometimes, he thought that a lot of people nowadays didn't properly value their things anymore and only cared about owning the newest model of everything.

"Is that your husband?" Ling Rui asked all of a sudden. 

Curiously, Wang Yue followed his line of view and spotted a framed picture on the desk. It showed Zhang Yan wearing a broad straw hat and yellow dress, standing in front of a sunflower field together with a man around her age with a white shirt and denim overalls. Wang Yue blinked in surprise when he realized that this guy was half a head smaller than Zhang Yan, even though she was already so tiny. Somehow, it was adorable.

"Indeed." Zhang Yan chortled. "A friendly passerby took that photo during our vacation last year."

"It's lovely," Ling Rui replied, a glint of longing in his eyes that Wang Yue couldn't quite interpret.

"Thank you, A-Rui." Zhang Yan's eyes flicked back to the monitor. "Alright, there we go." Smiling, she typed in her username and password and opened a document. "Do you want both of your names on the rental contract?"

"Yes," Ling Rui replied, reaching for Wang Yue's hand that still lay on his thigh. "We're doing this together."

Wang Yue sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Somehow, that made him very emotional. They hadn't discussed the details before, but it meant a lot to him that he wouldn't be living in Ling Rui's flat. Instead, it would be their flat. 

Zhang Yan smiled. "And the rent? Do you want to transfer it every month or should we just give you the information to set up an automatic deposit? From which bank account?"

"We'll set it up to be taken out of my account," Ling Rui replied. Before Wang Yue could protest, Ling Rui squeezed his hand and turned his head to look at him. "You can just give me your part of the rent every month. You're getting paid in cash anyway. It's easier for you if you don't have to bring the money to the bank on time."

"I guess," Wang Yue mumbled. He just hoped Ling Rui would accept his money every month, and wouldn't insist on paying everything on his own. 

Nodding, Zhang Yan turned the monitor around and pushed the keyboard towards Ling Rui. "Just type in your bank information here, then."

Ling Rui did as he was told, and they discussed the building rules, utilities, and some other things before Zhang Yan finally printed out three copies of the rental contract. She checked everything again, humming and nodding to herself before she pushed up her glasses and signed the contracts. Afterwards, she turned the papers around, handing them to Ling Rui first. 

"You can move in on the 15th, but I'll give you the keys today, so you can start renovating as soon as you want," Zhang Yan explained one more time.

"Can we already use water and electricity?" Ling Rui asked, reaching for the pen Zhang Yan offered him.

"Yes, yes, that's no problem." She smiled. "You're just not allowed to live and sleep there until the 15th. It's an insurance thing. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Ling Rui reassured her immediately. "We understand." He reread the contract one last time before signing everything. 

Wang Yue felt his breath speeding up as Ling Rui pushed the contracts and the pen towards him. This was it. This was the final moment. He picked up the pen and immediately dropped it again, nervousness making his fingers shake. It landed on the floor, clattering way too loudly.

"Sorry!" Wang Yue exclaimed reflexively. Embarrassed, he reached for the pen and accidentally knocked his forehead against the edge of the desk, causing the picture frame on it to rattle. 

"Careful!" Zhang Yan called out, sounding worried.

"Sorry!" Pen forgotten, Wang Yue leaned back up to steady the picture frame.

"Not that," Zhang Yan replied. "Are you alright?"

Ling Rui immediately cupped Wang Yue's face and pushed his bangs away, checking his forehead for injuries. His fingertips felt hot against Wang Yue's skin.

"I'm fine," Wang Yue mumbled. "Sorry for the ruckus." He pinched his thigh, focusing on that stinging pain together with the dull throbbing on his forehead. He couldn't mess this up now.

Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's upper arm to keep him in place and leaned down to pick up the pen. "Here."

"Sor—" Wang Yue cleared his throat. He couldn't keep apologizing all the time. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Ling Rui moved his hand to soothingly rub Wang Yue's back.

Taking a deep breath, Wang Yue held the pen in his fist, careful not to drop it again. He stared at the contract. The voice inside his head told him to thoroughly read everything, even though they had discussed it all just now and Ling Rui had already checked the contract. But Wang Yue couldn't make out the words anyway, his mind dizzy and his vision swaying whenever he tried to focus. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how Zhang Yan cocked her head, looking worried as he hesitated. He didn't even know what he was waiting for. This was all he had ever wanted. 

Wang Yue's gaze was drawn to Ling Rui, and he was met by a reassuring smile. It calmed his nerves. After taking another breath, Wang Yue managed to hold the pen properly and finally signed the contracts.

It was done.

He stared at the contract.

He had done it.

He was finally free.

No.

He wasn't free yet.

He still had something to do.

He averted his eyes from the contract.

It had to be done — now.

"Alright," Zhang Yan said, putting away her glasses. "Let me show you the basement storage area and—"

"I've gotta call my old landlord," Wang Yue blurted out, dropping the pen on the desk. 

Nervously, he reached into his pocket and took out his phone. With trembling fingers, he searched for the right contact and tapped the call icon. He was breathing too quickly and sweating too much, his bangs clinging to his forehead. He felt sick. Ling Rui grabbed his free hand and tightly held it, his other hand still rubbing soothing circles on Wang Yue's back. It grounded him. He closed his eyes to avoid seeing Zhang Yan's confused but worried expression.

"Why the fuck are ya callin' me on a Sunday?!" Zhao Jun yelled after picking up the call. 

Startled, Wang Yue opened his eyes and held the phone further away from his ear. Zhang Yan gasped in surprise —both hands pressed against her mouth— and Ling Rui held his hand even tighter. 

"To tell you that I'll move out," Wang Yue said as he brought the phone back to his ear, his voice trembling more than he liked to admit. He stared at his lap, his head hanging down and his shoulders hunched. Cold sweat ran down his back, but Ling Rui's hand was warm.

"What?"

"You gave me a week—" Wang Yue tried to inhale deeply, but his breathing stuttered "—to tell you my decision. So I'm telling you now." He raised his head and opened his eyes. "I'll move out at the end of the month. I'm canceling my rental contract with you." 

"In writing," Ling Rui whispered.

"I'll send you my decision in writing, too." Wang Yue was glad Ling Rui had thought about that. It wouldn't be beyond that guy to simply demand rent again next month, pretending he had never heard anything about canceling the contract.

"Tch." Zhao Jun clicked his tongue. "You better get your trash out of my flat then and return my keys!"

"I will."

"But don't ya dare bother the workmen doin' the repairs!"

"I won't."

"Pah! Whatever. I'm glad I won't have ta deal with ya and yer stupid brother anymore!"

Ling Rui squeezed Wang Yue's hand so tightly it hurt, radiating anger, his other hand balled into a fist on Wang Yue's back. Somehow, that gave Wang Yue the courage he needed.

"Likewise," he replied, sounding calmer than before as he sat up straight.

"What?" Zhao Jun asked, taken aback.

"I'm glad I won't have to deal with you and your baseless insults anymore," Wang Yue said, feeling a sense of accomplishment. "Bye." Without awaiting a reply, he ended the call, resting the phone in his lap. 

"Such a nincompoop!" Zhang Yan suddenly exclaimed, crossing her arms. She was fuming with anger. "He has no idea what a valuable and kind tenant he just lost!"

"I hate that guy," Ling Rui whispered. Hate was a strong word coming from Ling Rui, but Wang Yue knew that it was sincere.

Wang Yue took a deep breath. Another burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He was exhausted and his body wouldn't stop shaking, but he still felt better than in a long time. He clung to the phone in his lap, his thumb rubbing over the edge. "Help me write the termination for that old rental contract?" he asked in a whisper, pleadingly peeking at Ling Rui.

"Of course." Ling Rui reassuringly squeezed Wang Yue's shoulder one last time before he let go, though his other hand still clutched Wang Yue’s tightly. "Leave it to me. We'll write it together and let Fangning's lawyer check it before we send it over."

"Thank you." For once, Wang Yue didn't mind accepting help. He looked at the lovely landlady. "Sorry for interrupting you earlier." His voice sounded raspy, and he felt a bit dizzy. His body yearned for something to drink, but they hadn’t brought anything here with them. 

"Oh!" Zhang Yan's ears perked up. "Don't worry about that! I understand that you couldn't postpone that phone call." 

"Thanks," Wang Yue whispered. For some reason, he was still trembling.

"Breathe," Ling Rui whispered, stroking his hand. "And tell me if you want to lie down for a bit."

"I'm fine," Wang Yue replied reflexively. Where was he supposed to lie down anyway? He didn't intend to inconvenience anyone. Consciously, he took a deep breath, his lungs filling with air.

"Rest for a moment before I show you the basement," Zhang Yan said, hopping down from her chair. Was it so obvious that Wang Yue wasn't feeling well? He hated being such an open book. She walked over to the window and turned off the heating. "Let's get you some fresh air. It might help." She went up on her tiptoes and reached for the handle but couldn't grasp it.

"Wait," Ling Rui said, hurrying over. Wang Yue twitched when Ling Rui left him, all of his muscles suddenly cramping. "Let me help you." Easily, Ling Rui grabbed the handle and opened the window. The air was cold but Wang Yue relished it anyway. He just needed a moment to calm down so he could focus on breathing and wouldn't pass out. He closed his eyes.

"Oh, thank you, A-Rui!" Zhang Yan chuckled. "How convenient that you are so tall. I bet you have no problem reaching the upper cabinets in the kitchen, do you?"

Ling Rui chuckled, too. "It really isn't a problem." 

Wang Yue heard footsteps and felt a familiar hand on the nape of his neck, soothingly caressing his skin. He exhaled and relaxed now that Ling Rui was back.

"Do you cook a lot?" 

"Yes, actually I—"

Wang Yue tuned out their conversation, and focused on breathing. He appreciated that they were making small talk, giving him a chance to recover without being the center of attention. He didn't even know why he was so exhausted. His nervousness from before was gone. He shouldn't struggle anymore now that the worst was over. Yes, the worst was over. He took a deep breath, relishing Ling Rui's gentle touch. There was nothing to worry about anymore. They had come so far, they wouldn't fall back now. Everything would end well. 

Outside, it was cold and windy, the rain still pouring down, the sound loud in Wang Yue's ears. In movies, this always meant something sad was about to happen, but in reality, the weather didn't care about any person's emotional state. Today was a happy day for Wang Yue. He had signed the contract for a flat with Ling Rui. There was nothing to be sad about.

After another deep breath, Wang Yue opened his eyes. Carefully, he stood up and tried not to feel bad when they both paused their conversation to stare at him, Ling Rui's hand slipping away. 

"Should we check out the basement?" Wang Yue asked once he was certain his body wouldn't betray him, his legs not giving out.

"Sure." Zhang Yan nodded, and Ling Rui closed the window. They both stored the contracts in their bags —Ling Rui taking Wang Yue's as well so it wouldn't get wet in the rain— and grabbed their umbrellas. Wang Yue almost felt a bit weird coming here empty-handed, only his phone and wallet in his pockets.

Zhang Yan led them to the basement, showing them a big room that belonged to them alone. Ling Rui was in awe at all the additional storage, already mumbling something about seasonal decorations. Afterwards, they went outside and Zhang Yan quickly showed them their mailbox and where the trash cans stood. They returned to the entryway, and she held out a keyring with four keys — two for the main entrance and two for their flat and basement room. 

Encouragingly, Ling Rui looked at Wang Yue, waiting for him to take the keys. With a trembling hand, Wang Yue reached out and accepted them.

"Thanks," he whispered, rubbing his fingers over the keyring as if he couldn't believe it was  real. But they were real.

"You're welcome," Zhang Yan replied, opening her umbrella. "I've gotta go back home now. Don't hesitate to call me if you have any trouble renovating or need anything else."

"Thank you, we will." Ling Rui replied, waving at her. "Goodbye. Get home safely."

"Bye-bye," Wang Yue whispered, unable to speak up louder as his mind still tried to process what had happened just now.

They watched her walking through the rain, protected by her bright pink umbrella. After she rounded a corner, Ling Rui's and Wang Yue's eyes met. Without exchanging a word, they went back inside and upstairs to their flat. It really was their flat now. Trembling, Wang Yue inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it. The door unlocked with a click, and Wang Yue pushed it open. 

After stepping inside, they closed the door behind them and took a look around the empty room. Their eyes met, and the next thing he knew, Wang Yue was pressing Ling Rui against the wall, kissing him heatedly, the bag and umbrella dropped somewhere on the ground. 

Ling Rui grabbed the front of Wang Yue's shirt, yanking him even closer, their teeth clinking together. He buried his hand in Wang Yue's hair, angling his head to deepen their kiss. Wang Yue pushed his tongue into Ling Rui's mouth while pressing his thigh between Ling Rui's legs. Greedily, he ate up the delicious moan that escaped Ling Rui's throat. Unashamed, Ling Rui rolled his hips, rutting against Wang Yue's thigh like an animal in heat. Wang Yue sucked Ling Rui's bottom lip into his mouth, nipping and gnawing on it. 

Aimlessly, Ling Rui let his hands wander over Wang Yue's body —ruffling his hair, cupping his face, stroking his back— until they sneaked into his jeans and slipped under the waistband of his boxers.

Wang Yue yelped when he felt Ling Rui's cold fingertips digging into the flesh of his ass cheeks but quickly moaned when Ling Rui coaxed him to roll his hips, rubbing against Ling Rui's thigh. 

"Fuck." Breathless, Wang Yue let go of Ling Rui's lip to suck on his neck instead.

"Yue'er!" Whimpering, Ling Rui threw his head back, bumping it against the wall. His breathing was heavy as he rolled his hips faster, groping Wang Yue's ass. 

Wang Yue groaned when he felt how thick and hard Ling Rui's cock already was, pressing against his thigh. He wanted to take it out of Ling Rui's pants, press it against his own cock, and wrap his hands around them both, but he was too aroused to stop rutting against Ling Rui's thigh, and Ling Rui didn't seem to be faring any better. 

Their lips met for another breathless kiss, spit running down Wang Yue's chin as he grabbed Ling Rui's hips, roughly pushing their bodies even closer together. His jeans were too tight, his underwear getting damp, but none of it mattered as long as he could rub against Ling Rui while feeling Ling Rui's thick bulge pressing against him. 

It didn't take long until they had to break their kiss to gasp for air, feeling each other's hot breath on their lips. Wang Yue rested his forehead against Ling Rui's, the dull pain from earlier forgotten. The tips of their noses were touching. He listened to Ling Rui's heavy breathing, and the sudden realization that they didn't have to be quiet caused another wave of arousal to rush through Wang Yue's body, burning him up from the inside.

"Fuck," he mumbled, rolling his hips faster. "Fuck!" he repeated, louder and more deliberate. "You're so hot, Rui-ge."

The compliment made Ling Rui whine.

Wang Yue groaned loudly, squeezing Ling Rui's hips tighter as they ground against each other. "The sounds you make turn me on so fucking much."

"Yue'er!" Ling Rui gasped, no doubt realizing what Wang Yue had already realized before. They didn't have to be quiet.

Smirking, Wang Yue turned his head to seductively whisper into Ling Rui's ear. "Moan for me."

The high-pitch yelp that fell from Ling Rui's lips was followed by a loud drawn-out groan, and Wang Yue wouldn't mind listening to those sounds forever. 

"Yue'er!" Ling Rui called out between two breaths, reaching for Wang Yue's upper arm with a trembling hand. "I can't! I'm too aroused." His other hand slipped between Wang Yue's cheeks, his fingertip rubbing over Wang Yue's entrance.

Wang Yue whined in need, suddenly torn between pushing forward to rub his dick against Ling Rui's thigh and pushing back to meet Ling Rui's teasing finger. He knew Ling Rui wouldn't ever insert it without lube, but the thought was thrilling, and the way Ling Rui constantly teased his rim, brushing and massaging it, made Wang Yue see stars. 

Curling his toes, he held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut, his body tensing up and refusing to move, but Ling Rui was as reliable as always, rolling their hips to produce the last remaining bit of friction that was necessary to push Wang Yue over the edge. He came in his pants with a loud, guttural scream, and Ling Rui shuddered and whined as he followed him, his hips twitching as he rode out his orgasm. 

Arms wrapped around each other, they slowly sank down to the floor, their legs finally giving out. Panting, they tried to catch their breath as they suddenly started to chuckle, their foreheads resting on each other's shoulders. Wang Yue felt Ling Rui's body shaking, their chuckles soon turning into laughter. Throwing their heads back, they laughed loud and unrestrained, and Wang Yue couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy and carefree. 

Everything was perfect. 

He had been so stressed lately, anxious about everything, struggling with himself, but this moment, right here and now, with Ling Rui by his side, was everything he had ever needed. No matter what life had thrown at him, getting through all the hardships had been worth it to reach this moment of happiness with his boyfriend. 

"Yue'er?"

Wang Yue only realized he had started crying when Ling Rui wiped a tear from his cheek. 

"Shit." Wang Yue hiccuped, giggling as he cried. He was a mess. "I'm just so relieved."

"Yue'er," Ling Rui whispered fondly. Cupping Wang Yue's face, he tentatively wiped more tears away and leaned in for a kiss. His lips were so soft, and he looked at Wang Yue as if he were something special.

Something inside Wang Yue broke, and he started crying for real, even though he never stopped smiling. It was weird, but his emotions were just running wild, his brain and body unable to deal with this unusual burst of happiness.

"I—" he barely managed to hold back a love confession "—like you so fucking much."

"Me too," Ling Rui replied, kissing him again. "I'm so glad you're my boyfriend, Yue'er. I'm so glad we're finally moving in together."

Wang Yue smiled even wider, his cheeks starting to hurt. He wasn't used to smiling anymore. How long had it been? He remembered that a chuckle had escaped his lips when he had teased Ling Rui about sex toys in his old flat on Tuesday, but when had he last laughed loudly? He couldn't even remember. But now they had gotten the keys for their new flat, and the future that always appeared to be so dark, suddenly looked bright.

The keys. 

Wang Yue reached into his pocket and pulled out the new key ring, brushing his fingertip over the key ridges as if he couldn't believe that it was real. Ling Rui cupped both Wang Yue's hand and the keys, enfolding them in his big hands. 

"This is a new beginning," Ling Rui whispered. 

"It is." Wang Yue could feel it. Everything would be better from now on. For the first time in ages, he looked towards the future filled with hope. "Thanks for staying by my side," Wang Yue whispered, kissing Ling Rui's cheek.

Ling Rui blushed, touching the spot Wang Yue's lips had touched.

Wang Yue snorted. "Shamelessly rutting against me like an animal in heat just moments ago, but getting embarrassed about a kiss on the cheek now?" He smirked teasingly.

Flustered, Ling Rui only made an incomprehensible noise, his cheeks flaring up even further.

Wang Yue laughed, using the back of his hand to wipe his remaining tears away. He couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

Whining, Ling Rui grabbed the nape of Wang Yue's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. "You're so sexy when you're happy."

"Am I?" Wang Yue whispered against Ling Rui's lips, feeling his cheeks warming. He rarely blushed.

"Yes," Ling Rui confirmed, kissing Wang Yue's lips. "And your laugh is beautiful." He kissed his cheek. "And your smile is breath-taking." He kissed the tip of his nose. "I'll do my best to make you happy from now on."

Wang Yue felt his lips twitching into another smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling as the sweet promise filled him with warmth. "Thanks, Rui-ge." 

Their lips met for another kiss, their tongues dancing around each other. The kiss was slow and leisurely without a hurry in the world, and Wang Yue put all the emotions in it that he couldn't speak out loud.

They only separated again when Wang Yue's stomach rumbled, and Ling Rui looked worried.

"I'm gonna treat you to lunch," Wang Yue declared.

"What?" Ling Rui blinked in surprise.

"Don't even think about declining," Wang Yue immediately said, standing up. "Let's clean up, and then we'll look for some street food vendors. I'm hungry and want to treat my boyfriend to lunch."

It took Ling Rui a few more seconds to catch up with reality, but then he smiled, dimples on his cheeks. He was so cute. 

"Come on." Wang Yue held out a hand, ready to pull Ling Rui up on his feet. "I know you're itching to clean up." 

The words caused Ling Rui to look pleading and relieved at the same time. He let himself be pulled up and led to the bathroom by Wang Yue. Once they were inside, Ling Rui immediately pulled down his pants and underwear, his expression when he spotted the mess way too disgusted for a gay man who liked sex. 

"How are we supposed to—" Desperately, he looked around the empty bathroom. "There's no paper or towels. Isn't there any other option?"

"How about we go to the flat next door, ring the bell, and say, hi, we are the new neighbors who just made out like horny teenagers. Would you mind if we used your bathroom real quick?"

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui exclaimed, his cheeks heating up.

Amused, Wang Yue snorted. Ling Rui was way too easy to tease. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly and dropped to his knees. "I'll help you out."

"You—" Ling Rui's words got cut off by a startled yelp as Wang Yue wrapped his lips around Ling Rui's cock, sucking off the remnants of cum clinging to it. 

Smirking, Wang Yue leaned back again, licking his lips. "Delicious."

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui was too flustered to speak properly. It was adorable. "You didn't have to— I could have— I just—"

"Thanks for the appetizer." Wang Yue winked, and Ling Rui buried his face in his hands, whining from embarrassment. Apparently, he had forgotten where he had put his finger just minutes ago. Snorting, Wang Yue did his best to wipe Ling Rui's underwear clean with his hands, even though most of the cum had already soaked into the fabric. Afterwards, he stood up and washed his hands before washing the tear stains away from his face and taking some sips of water. He had been so thirsty for a while now. Raising his shoulder, he wiped his cheek dry on his jeans jacket. Afterwards, he wetted his hands again and provisionally cleaned his dick and his boxers. 

Ling Rui peeked at him through the gaps between his fingers. Eventually, he also reached for the water and dabbed his underwear and cock. Afterwards, he thoroughly washed his hands. "There's not even soap," he mumbled, his expression torn. Wang Yue knew that Ling Rui was a clean freak, but he hadn't known it was that bad. 

Wang Yue also washed his hands again, wiping them dry on his jeans before pulling them back up. Meanwhile, Ling Rui still stood there, his dripping hands held above the sink as he desperately looked around as if a towel would suddenly magically appear. If Wang Yue didn't hate the emotion so much, he would almost pity Ling Rui. "Just wipe them on my pants," he offered, raising his knee so Ling Rui wouldn't have to bend down.

"But—" Ling Rui looked torn, his eyes flicking to the wet stains on Wang Yue's thigh. "You wanted to go out for lunch. What will the people think if they see—"

"That I got into the rain?" Wang Yue suggested, raising an eyebrow. "What would you think if you saw someone with wet pants on a rainy day, Doctor Ling?" Smirking, he leaned closer to whisper into Ling Rui's ear. "That they just had a quickie?"

Yelping, Ling Rui took a step back, looking so ashamed that Wang Yue suddenly wondered if he had overdone it.

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely. "I shouldn't have pushed you against the wall as soon as we entered the flat. I didn't consider that we couldn't properly clean up. I wasn’t thinking. I just—"

"It's fine!" Ling Rui interrupted him, his eyes wide. "Please don't apologize."

"But I—"

"It's fine," Ling Rui repeated, more resolutely. Holding eye contact, he suddenly wiped his hands on his beige slacks, the fabric getting dark. "I don't mind."

"You do."

Ling Rui opened his mouth to protest, but then he grimaced. "I do mind not feeling clean," he admitted in a whisper. "But I don't regret what we did." Embarrassed, he averted his eyes and pulled up his underwear and pants. Afterwards, he sheepishly met Wang Yue's gaze again. "I enjoyed it." He took a deep breath. "I wouldn't mind doing it again."

Surprised, Wang Yue parted his lips. "Really?"

Ling Rui nodded.

Wang Yue had no reason to disbelieve Ling Rui's words, so he exhaled in relief. "Alright." He wiped his hands on his pants one last time. "Then let's go. I wanna eat." 

At once, Ling Rui's eyes sparkled as if Wang Yue had just promised him the world. Was he really that happy about Wang Yue wanting to eat? It was still weird that someone cared so much about him and his well-being. But it wasn't a bad feeling.

They returned to the main room, and Ling Rui suddenly paused in his tracks.

"Ah!" 

"Hm?"

Ling Rui sprinted through the room and crouched down next to his bag. He opened it and searched for something before grinning widely as he proudly held up a package of wet wipes.

Amused, Wang Yue crossed his arms and watched how Ling Rui took out one of the wipes to clean his hands.

"Did you forget you brought them with you?"

Sheepishly, Ling Rui scratched his cheek. "Actually, yeah." He held the package out for Wang Yue, and Wang Yue knew there was no way he could refuse.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he reached for it and wiped his hands clean.

Ling Rui sighed. "We don't even have a trash can here yet," he mumbled, looking around.

"We can just throw it in the big trash can outside the house," Wang Yue remarked, rolling his eyes. "Come on, let's go before I starve."

It was meant to be a joke, but Ling Rui almost tripped over his feet as he quickly stuffed the package of wet wipes back into his bag and picked up his umbrella. They left the flat and locked the door, throwing their trash away outside.

Afterwards, they walked in a random direction sharing Ling Rui's umbrella. Wang Yue's right and Ling Rui's left shoulders were getting wet, but they didn't mind as they strolled through the streets in search of something to eat, Wang Yue holding onto Ling Rui's arm. Ling Rui was humming the melody of a popular love song, subconsciously mumbling, "ai ni, wuhu," whenever he reached the refrain. It was too adorable, and Wang Yue wouldn't mind taking a detour just to bask in this moment of happiness for a little while longer. But he was hungrier than ever, and when he finally spotted a small restaurant, he increased his pace. 

Since it was still raining, they decided to sit down inside instead of taking the food with them. As soon as the waiter arrived at their table, Wang Yue ordered steamed buns filled with chicken and pork, fried noodles, vegetable stir fry, and two bowls of rice. Ling Rui blinked, not used to Wang Yue taking the initiative and getting so much food for both of them to share. But after the first moment of surprise had subsided, Ling Rui smiled, ordering them some tea.

"We've gotta go back after lunch and measure out the kitchen before we make a list of what we need to buy for renovating," Ling Rui said after they received their drinks.

"Yeah," Wang Yue agreed. "Sorry for suddenly taking you here before that was done."

"It's fine." Ling Rui smiled. "I was getting hungry, too. And—" Sheepishly, he averted his eyes, his thumb nervously brushing over his tea cup.

"And?"

"This is nice," Ling Rui whispered. "Feels like a date."

Wang Yue felt the corners of his mouth twitching, another smile finding its way onto his lips. "It is." Embarrassed, he gulped down some tea to hide his giggle. 

Their eyes met, and they blushed like teenagers in love. Wang Yue had never thought that he would one day feel like that again. 

But even though he was happy, Wang Yue still had too much on his mind. He didn't like asking for support, but it was unavoidable this time. "Rui-ge."

"Yes?" The smile fell from Ling Rui's lips as he noticed the seriousness Wang Yue's voice carried.

"Can you or your family take care of my brother for two more weeks?" Wang Yue asked, wiping his sweaty palms on his damp jeans. "He can't stay with me every day if I want to finish the renovations on time. He would get bored if he had to play on his own the whole time. And I wouldn't have time to make him proper meals." He frowned. "If I even have enough money for groceries after buying that carpet and the coat rack." He hadn't even calculated what their meal would cost. "And this lunch date," he added, mumbling. Maybe it had been a reckless decision to invite Ling Rui out of the blue. Maybe he shouldn't have ordered so much food for himself. He didn't need it. His stomach rumbled as if trying to point out his lie. "Also, I've gotta get my old furniture and everything out of my old flat." How was he even supposed to carry and transport everything? "And I—"

"Yue'er," Ling Rui said softly, but Wang Yue immediately stopped talking.

Smiling, Ling Rui reached out and laid his hand on the table, palm turned up. He crooked his fingers, indicating for Wang Yue to take his hand. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Wang Yue placed his hand on Ling Rui's. Ling Rui's fingertips were cold from walking through the rain.

"We will gladly support you and your brother for another two weeks," Ling Rui promised, and Wang Yue inhaled and exhaled in relief. "I will always support both of you if you want it, but I know this isn't your intention, so I won't force you to rely on me for longer than necessary."

Wang Yue nodded, glad that Ling Rui accepted that Wang Yue wouldn't dare to live from his money. 

"And I'll help you with everything tomorrow. I'll take another day off from work and—"

"You don't have—"

"Hush, I know," Ling Rui interrupted Wang Yue's protest. "But I want to do this, and I have filled in for my colleagues long enough. They can cover for me for a day. They'll survive."

"I hope your patients will survive," Wang Yue murmured.

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui hissed, aghast.

"Sorry," Wang Yue apologized but didn't miss how Ling Rui barely managed to refrain from laughing. Maybe he hadn't minded the bad joke.

"They've got it covered even without me," Ling Rui said reassuringly. "Don't worry." He squeezed Wang Yue's hand. "I think it would be best if I rented a small van for tomorrow."

"What?" Surprised, Wang Yue studied Ling Rui's thoughtful expression.

"We can disassemble your old furniture and take everything to the trash dump, and afterwards we can buy everything we need for renovating and transport it to the flat."

Now that Wang Yue heard it, it made sense. If Ling Rui went to work, and Wang Yue had to do everything with his bike alone, he wouldn't get very far.

"Just one day," Wang Yue threatened, narrowing his eyes. "The day after tomorrow, you'll go to work and leave renovating the flat and assembling the furniture to me." Most of the things they had bought at Lu Fangning's store would be delivered within two weeks. Wang Yue didn't know how it was possible to receive furniture so quickly, but Lu Fangning had probably left no stone unturned to help them out.

"I promise," Ling Rui said, smiling.

The waiter chose that moment to bring over their food, and they sheepishly pulled their hands back. 

When Wang Yue saw all the different meals barely fitting on their small table, he pondered again if he hadn't ordered too much. But as he inhaled the scent of the hot food, his stomach rumbled. 

"Thanks for inviting me and ordering so much," Ling Rui said, interrupting Wang Yue's train of thought. "It makes me happy that you want to eat with me." Encouragingly, Ling Rui smiled, and Wang Yue's stomach rumbled again. It was two against one. He could do nothing but surrender and give in.

"Let's dig in," Wang Yue said, reaching for a steamed bun. Before he could start to hesitate again, he took a big bite, sharply sucking in some air as the hot filling burned on his tongue. "Shit! It's so hot," he cursed with his mouth full. "But so fucking good."

Ling Rui grinned in amusement. "Just be careful not to burn yourself."

Wang Yue hummed in confirmation, but immediately took another bite, not having learned his lesson. His body simply craved more food, no matter the consequences. "Your aunt said the steamed buns you make are even bet—" He paled and broke off his sentence as he remembered that he wasn't allowed to say it.

But Ling Rui had already caught on and narrowed his eyes. "Da-gu?" He smirked triumphantly. "So she does like my steamed buns. I knew it! She always pretends not to care about them, but I noticed the sparkle in her eyes every time I made them."

"I wasn't allowed to tell you," Wang Yue mumbled, feeling guilty.

"She won't know that I know."

"She'll take one look at me and know."

Ling Rui huffed a laugh. "She's not a mind reader, Xiao Yue."

"She is," Wang Yue retorted, utterly convinced about this.

"It's fine, don't worry." Amused, Ling Rui chuckled. "And if she gets suspicious and asks, I'll deny everything. It can be our little secret."

"Doctor Ling!" Wang Yue exclaimed, playfully scandalized. "Who would have thought you could cover up the truth like that! That's like the first step to being a liar. And being a liar is the first step to being a criminal. What's next? Selling organs on the black market?"

"Xiao Yue!" Ling Rui hissed, his cheeks flaring up. Embarrassed, he checked their surroundings, looking left and right several times, afraid that someone might have listened in on them. But everyone else was busy with their own meals and conversations. Relieved, he sighed. "Don't say things like that!" He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "But you're right. I shouldn't lie." He sighed in defeat. "If she gets suspicious I'll tell her that I coaxed the information out of you."

"So you will twist the truth after all."

Panic made Ling Rui's face pale, and Wang Yue snorted. Teasing Ling Rui was too much fun. Suddenly, he didn't even mind anymore if Ling Yunzhi found out. After all, she wouldn't be mad for long, even though Wang Yue had let her secret slip. She wasn't resentful.

"Maybe I should call her and confess that I know," Ling Rui mumbled in thought, his brows furrowed.

"You're ridiculous, Doctor Ling."

"Hey!"

Wang Yue laughed until his cheeks hurt, and Ling Rui quickly joined him. Afterwards, they ate so much that their stomachs hurt, and Wang Yue wondered when he had last been this full. He couldn't remember.

He paid their bill, feeling weirdly proud to have treated his boyfriend to lunch, and then they went back to the flat. As planned, they took measurements and sent the missing data to their kitchen planner. Afterwards, they discussed how to renovate every room —Wang Yue giving his honest opinion after being asked— and made a detailed list of materials they had to buy. 

They returned to the Ling family's home, and Wang Yue took a shower before quickly gulping down a cereal bar and going to work. Meanwhile, Ling Rui rented a van for the next day, and spent the evening packing some of his stuff into boxes.

They slept happily and peacefully that night, looking forward to the next day, even though they had a lot of work to do. But they knew they would make it — together. 

 

Notes:

No, this is not the end! There's still one more chapter — an epilogue, if you wanna call it that.

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Chapter 20: Moving forward (epilogue)

Summary:

Wang Yue renovates the new flat until it's finally time to move in with Ling Rui.

Notes:

That's it, friends. That's the last chapter. Please enjoy.

Chapter title by G.

4,2k words

Fortunately, Monday went as planned. Ling Rui had rented a small van, and they had taken the remaining things and old furniture out of Wang Yue's flat to take to the waste dump. 

Once they were done, Lu Fangning had already sent them her lawyer's written termination of Wang Yue's rental contract. They had intended to write it by themselves and only let Lu Fangning's lawyer check it, but she had immediately offered to let her lawyer take care of everything. She had even provided feedback about what to watch out for when handing the termination over together with the keys. Wang Yue was impressed by how helpful and proactive she was, and since it all had happened so quickly, Ling Rui was determined to finish everything regarding Wang Yue's old flat today. Wang Yue saw no reason to drag this out further than necessary either, so they drove to his old landlord, handed him the termination and keys and got his signature to make sure he couldn't complain about not having received everything.

Wang Yue breathed easier after it was finally done, knowing he wouldn't have to meet his old landlord ever again. 

Afterwards, they bought a bathroom shelf and sink cabinet before they went shopping for renovation materials in the afternoon. Even though Wang Yue had intended to let Ling Rui make all the decisions, he honestly mentioned his opinion whenever Ling Rui asked or couldn't decide between two wallpapers. 

The following days, Wang Yue drove to the flat as soon as he woke up, eager to renovate and create a beautiful new home for him, his brother, and Ling Rui. Ling Zhu was happy to help out by watching over Wang Chao and preparing a lunchbox for Wang Yue every day. Ling Rui always video-called him during his break, and they ate together — often with Peng Bo. Eating was easier with their company, even though Wang Yue still regularly skipped breakfast and often ate his leftovers from lunch for dinner. But Ling Zhu always packed him more lunch than he could eat — even Ling Rui said that it would be too much for him. As always, Ling Zhu was too well meaning. Some things would never change.

Every evening before going to work, Wang Yue showed Ling Rui pictures of his progress, and Ling Rui was impressed and happy every time, praising Wang Yue for his skills. The recognition felt good.

During the week, another real estate agent called, but Ling Rui happily declined their offer.

By the weekend, Wang Yue was already done renovating the living room, so he assembled the big shelves and cabinets together with Ling Rui. Since Ling Rui's family was meeting some friends, Wang Chao was at the new flat, sitting on his new favorite carpet, playing with his toy cars. 

After folding and ripping up the packaging of the second shelf, Wang Yue and Ling Rui intended to take out the trash. But after opening their door, they almost ran into a small group of people.

"Oh," the white-haired woman said, her dark eyes wide as she spotted Ling Rui. She was probably a little bit older than him and wore red eyeshadow and lipstick. Despite her obvious surprise, she had a very calm and collected aura. "You're that kind doctor who helped A-Qiao a while ago."

"Doctor Ling," the black-haired woman next to her said. She looked a bit younger but no less beautiful. Two little dark-haired boys hid behind her, clinging to her legs. 

"You know them?" Wang Yue asked Ling Rui since he couldn't remember ever hearing about those people.

"We met briefly."

"Doctor Ling was so kind as to carry A-Qiao's bags and steady her after she sprained her ankle," the white-haired woman explained. "He accompanied her all the way from the mall to another store down the street where we had decided to meet up."

Humbly, Ling Rui shook his head, and Wang Yue was sure he would have raised his hands if they weren't full of cardboard packaging. "I just did what anyone would have done."

"That's not true," the black-haired woman said. "Everyone else only ignored me when I tripped and fell. You were the only one who came to help." She bowed. "Thank you for that again."

"It's no trouble!" Ling Rui replied, awkwardly shifting from one leg to the other.

Wang Chao walked over, curiously peeking over Wang Yue's shoulder. 

"Are you the new neighbors?" the white-haired woman asked, her voice calm and melodic. "We're living over there." She pointed at the door further down the hallway on the opposite side. Her eyes went wide. "Oh. Where are my manners? I'm Luo Fumeng, this is my wife Liu Qianqiao, and these are our boys—"

"Mom, we're secret agents!" the older one of the boys blurted out.

Luo Fumeng smiled softly. "Our sons, whose names are secret." She chuckled. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," Ling Rui nodded, bowing as best as he could while carrying all the cardboard pieces. He smiled at the boy who had spoken up, but the kid warily hid behind Liu Qianqiao again. He had to be very shy. "I'm Ling Rui, and that's my boyfriend Wang Yue, and his brother Wang Chao."

"Hello," Wang Yue said. "Nice to meet you." Usually, he was wary when meeting new people, but somehow, this couple made him feel at ease.

"A little car!" Wang Chao suddenly exclaimed, pointing at a blue toy car one of the kids held. Shyly, the boy grabbed Liu Qianqiao's shirt tighter while the other one warily observed the situation. Wang Chao only laughed and quickly ran back into the flat to fetch his yellow toy car. Happily, he returned and held it out. The eyes of the boys went wide, and they let go of their mother's shirt.

"Is he your little brother?" Luo Fumeng asked carefully.

"My big brother actually," Wang Yue explained. Awkwardly, he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. "But he's also kinda seven years old, even though he's not, so maybe he's also my little brother in some ways," he vaguely added in a whisper, remembering the annoyed and disgusted gazes of his old neighbors.

"I'm sure he'll get along well with our boys then," Luo Fumeng replied, smiling. "They are five and six."

The kids and Wang Chao were already crouching and running down the hallway, letting their toy cars race against each other. At first, Wang Yue tensed, afraid that other neighbors might open their doors and scold them because of the noise, but then he remembered how their kind landlady had told them that the kids often played in the hallway. He relaxed.

"When will you move in?" Liu Qianqiao asked. 

"On Thursday," Ling Rui said. "We're still in the middle of renovating and assembling furniture."

"Oh. Don't let us keep you for too long then," Liu Qianqiao said. "Once you've settled in, we've gotta invite you for some tea and cake. Right?" She looked at her wife.

"Absolutely," Luo Fumeng replied. "And tell us if you need any help."

"Oh." Humbly, Ling Rui shook his head. "That's not necessary! But thank you for the offer."

"You're welcome." Smiling, Luo Fumeng looked down the hallway. "Alright, boys, time to go home."

"But we wanna play with our new friend!" the taller boy complained. It was only one sentence, but it was enough to make Wang Yue happy. Maybe Wang Chao finally had the chance to make some friends.

"You can do that starting next week," Luo Fumeng explained. "They are busy today."

The kids crossed their arms and pouted but quickly gave in. Blinking, Wang Chao also walked back to Wang Yue. 

"Well then," Luo Fumeng said to Wang Yue and Ling Rui. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again."

"Likewise," Ling Rui replied. 

"See you," Wang Yue added, and had to admit that he wouldn't mind meeting them again.

The couple waved one last time before they went into their flat with their kids.

"They seem nice," Ling Rui whispered as Wang Chao went back inside while Ling Rui and Wang Yue carried down the trash.

"Yeah," Wang Yue confirmed. "I guess you already left a good impression when you helped her out a while ago."

"I couldn't ignore someone in need."

"I know." Wang Yue smiled. He liked that about Ling Rui. He was kind to everyone who needed help — no matter what.

 

---

 

On Thursday, they finally moved in. Ling Rui had taken the day off from work, and was making sure everyone stayed hydrated and fed with a bunch of steamed buns he had prepared the day before. Their kitchen appliances would only be delivered some days later, but they would make do with Wang Yue's old cooking plate, Ling Rui's buns, and sandwiches until then. 

Ling Yunzhi hadn't been lying when she said that Ling Rui's steamed buns were the best. Even though Wang Yue was busy all day, assembling the last remaining furniture and carrying all their boxes from the rented van to the flat, he stole a bun whenever he could. Ling Rui's aunts took turns looking after Wang Chao and cleaning up while Ling Rui and his mother unpacked all the boxes. The new friendly neighbor couple showed up, offering help, and when Ling Rui politely declined they later returned with coffee and cookies for everyone, insisting they had to do at least something. 

With the help of everyone, they managed to finish just around sunset. Ling Zhu cried when it was time to say goodbyes, but Ling Rui hugged his mother and aunts tightly, promising to visit them often. 

Afterwards, they put Wang Chao to bed, happy that he fell asleep without trouble. Wang Yue hadn't been sure how his brother would react to the new environment, but everything had been fine so far. There was no reason to worry. Wang Chao liked this new flat just as much as they did.

Smiling, Ling Rui and Wang Yue left Wang Chao's bedroom and closed the door behind them. They quietly walked through their flat, taking a look around. The bathroom to the left of Wang Chao's room already looked perfect, towels and toiletries stored in the shelf and placed on the sink, shower gels standing in the shower. The room on the other side was still unoccupied, provisionally serving as a storage room for now. They hadn't decided what to make out of it yet —a workout room, a guest room, an office for Ling Rui— they had several options in mind. 

The space where the kitchen was supposed to be still looked a bit shabby, but that would change soon. The living room lacked some decoration in Ling Rui's opinion, but they had a couch and armchairs, Wang Yue's old television, and some shelves and cabinets filled with books, Blu-rays, and other things. 

They still needed curtains for all the rooms —something they had entirely forgotten while shopping— and some chairs and a table for their balcony, but those things could wait.

Ling Rui's beige coat hung neatly on the coat rack next to the entrance door whereas Wang Yue couldn't even remember where he had dropped his denim jacket. Ling Rui's black, polished dress shoes stood on the shoe rack, neatly arranged, right next to Wang Yue's dirty, worn-out sneakers, the heel of the left one sticking out over the edge. Those two pairs of shoes looked so different, but somehow, it felt like they belonged together. 

Exhausted, Wang Yue went to the bedroom, face-planting on the new soft mattress with a loud sigh. All of his muscles were sore after doing so much physical work for days. He hadn't even noticed how worn out he was until the realization settled in that the most important things were finally done. He groaned when he tried but failed to turn around.

"Are you tired?" Ling Rui asked, the mattress dipping as he sat down.

"You bet," Wang Yue mumbled against the sheets.

Humming, Ling Rui let his hand travel over Wang Yue's back, his fingertips tracing the outline of his vertebrae through his shirt. "Too tired?"

Opening one eye, Wang Yue peeked at Ling Rui. "Too tired for what?"

Ling Rui swallowed —hard— his Adam's apple bobbing. His eyes traveled down Wang Yue's body before he sheepishly looked back up. He kept his eyes on Wang Yue's face as his hand followed the path his eyes had taken just now, brushing over Wang Yue's lower back before slipping even further down, cupping Wang Yue's bottom. He licked his lips as he squeezed Wang Yue's ass cheeks, a silent question reflected in his needy gaze.

Moaning, Wang Yue closed his eyes. "I'm too tired to move," he admitted, "but I'm never too tired for sex."

"That's fine as long as you're in the mood," Ling Rui said, immediately straddling Wang Yue's thighs. He was surprisingly eager — almost as if he had been looking forward to this moment for quite a while. It felt good to be wanted like that. "Let me spoil you for all your hard work these past few days."

Wang Yue gasped as Ling Rui's hands slipped under his shirt, pulling it up until it got stuck around Wang Yue's shoulders. "Are you sure you—" 

"Yes," Ling Rui interrupted him immediately. "I'll take care of you, I promise." Humming, he leaned down to pepper Wang Yue's back with kisses. "Let me take you like this," he whispered into Wang Yue's ear. "I want to feel you trembling from pleasure."

"Fuck." Wang Yue's hips twitched as his cock stirred to life. He still wasn't good at letting Ling Rui do all the work, but even if he wanted to move, he couldn't. His body had finally given in, exhaustion taking over. Furthermore, they hadn't had any chance to make out since their quickie one and a half weeks ago after receiving their keys. Wang Yue's body longed for Ling Rui. He loved getting taken from behind, feeling Ling Rui deep inside. Wang Yue didn't know whether or not he could gather enough strength to raise his hips, but maybe Ling Rui would simply grab and lift them. The thought of getting used and manhandled like that made Wang Yue whine in need.

"I love it when you're so aroused that you can't hold back your moans," Ling Rui whispered into Wang Yue's ears. "I'm so glad we don't have to be quiet anymore." After squeezing Wang Yue's ass one last time, Ling Rui let go and scooted over on the mattress to reach for the nightstand. Wang Yue whimpered, missing the possessive grip and the weight on his legs. Ling Rui soothingly stroked his back. "Shh. I've got you."

With a lot of effort, Wang Yue pulled off his shirt that had still been stuck around his shoulders and carelessly dropped it to the floor. 

After Ling Rui had put the lube and condom he had fetched on the bed, he reached for the waistband of Wang Yue's pants. "Raise your hips a bit."  

Wang Yue groaned, his thighs burning in protest as he raised his hips only far enough for Ling Rui to pull down his pants and underwear. As soon as his clothes were gone, he flopped back down on the mattress, his cock pressing against the soft sheets. Subconsciously, he rolled his hips, seeking friction. 

Ling Rui kissed the nape of Wang Yue's neck, his fingers teasingly brushing downwards. Wang Yue arched his back and whined in need.

"Please," he whimpered, his hole twitching and clenching down on nothing. He just wanted to be filled. Ling Rui chuckled, amused, and grabbed Wang Yue's ass, kneading his cheeks. "Rui-ge," Wang Yue complained. It wasn't his intention to push Ling Rui, but his body and mind were exhausted, making him moody. 

"Alright, alright," Ling Rui said, reaching for the lube. 

Wang Yue shuddered in anticipation as he heard the familiar sound of the bottle being opened. 

Once his fingers were coated, Ling Rui grabbed Wang Yue's left ass cheek with his clean hand, pushing it to the side to expose his hole. "Can you spread your legs a bit?"

Groaning, Wang Yue didn't even try. "Just push it in," he mumbled, the left side of his face pressed against the mattress. "I don't mind when it's tight."

"You don't mind or you—"

"I fucking love it," Wang Yue admitted, interrupting Ling Rui's question so he wouldn't hesitate anymore. "Please, Rui-ge." With glistening eyes, he peeked over his shoulder. "You promised to take care of me."

Ling Rui inhaled sharply, a spark of arousal reflected in his eyes. Licking his lips, he brushed his fingertip over Wang Yue's puckering rim, making him shudder. Just as Wang Yue wanted to complain again, Ling Rui finally pushed his finger inside, going deeper, deeper, and deeper. 

Rolling his eyes back, Wang Yue allowed a guttural groan to escape his throat. "I love your long fingers," he whispered. Reflexively, he grabbed the sheets, his hips twitching as he sought more friction but lacked the strength to move. "Mor—aah!" Just as Wang Yue started to beg for more, Ling Rui rubbed his fingertip over Wang Yue's sweet spot deep inside of him, sending sparks of arousal through his body. Wang Yue inhaled deeply, his dick throbbing. It had been way too long since he had gotten off.

"Yue'er," Ling Rui said, his voice breathless and filled with need. Why was Ling Rui so aroused? Wang Yue hadn't even touched him yet. "You're so hot," Ling Rui whispered. Leaning down, he kissed Wang Yue's shoulder blade. Without warning, he pushed a second finger inside, coaxing another loud moan to fall from Wang Yue's lips. "I love hearing you." 

Ling Rui kissed his way down Wang Yue's back, apparently not minding all the sweat. When Ling Rui reached Wang Yue's ass, the kisses suddenly turned into little bites, gnawing and nibbling on Wang Yue's cheeks, making Wang Yue yelp in surprise first, and then moan in pleasure. Ling Rui continued to suck on Wang Yue's cheeks, raking his teeth over them from time to time while his fingers never stopped spreading Wang Yue's tight hole and massaging his prostate. 

The double stimulation caused Wang Yue's cock to twitch and leak precum. Ling Rui's other hand held onto Wang Yue's hip, his thumb digging into his cheek to pull on it. Wang Yue loved that strong and possessive grip. 

"Fuck me," Wang Yue begged, too aroused to overthink whether or not it was okay to push Ling Rui. His mind was swirling, and if he hadn't been lying down before, his body would give in now, too overcome by arousal. 

Ling Rui's breathing stuttered as he pushed a third finger inside, spreading Wang Yue's rim further, but not far enough, pushing deeper, but not deep enough. Wang Yue whimpered, thrashing his head left and right, rubbing his face against the sheets. It wasn't enough. He needed more. He needed Ling Rui's cock. 

Gathering his last remaining strength, Wang Yue blindly reached out with his hand, patting the mattress until he found Ling Rui's knee. He moaned when he felt naked skin under his palm. Ling Rui must have taken off his clothes at some point. Purposefully, Wang Yue raked his fingertips over the sensitive inside of Ling Rui's thigh, feeling him shudder and tense. 

"Xiao Yue!"

It was a warning, but Wang Yue didn't heed it. He reached for Ling Rui's groin, fondled his balls, and wrapped his hand around Ling Rui's dick. 

"Wait!"

Smirking, Wang Yue stroked Ling Rui's thick cock as best as he could despite the weird angle, relishing the gasp that slipped from Ling Rui's lips. His cock was hard and erect, feeling heavy in Wang Yue's hand. Wang Yue brushed his thumb over the wet tip, smearing a bead of precum.

"Oh my god!" Ling Rui hissed. "Don't make me come!" He scooted further back on the mattress, out of Wang Yue's reach. 

Wang Yue opened his eyes to complain —even more so when Ling Rui's fingers suddenly slipped out of him— but when he saw Ling Rui reaching for a condom, Wang Yue could only whine in need, breathing heavily. 

"I know," Ling Rui mumbled as he fumbled with the wrapper. He finally managed to open it with the help of his teeth, groaning as he tried to put it on, struggling to pull the tight rubber over the thick head of his cock. 

Wang Yue whined. He needed this cock inside him, the broad tip spreading his rim, the long shaft filling him up — now. "Rui-ge!" 

"I know," Ling Rui repeated, his voice sounding strained. He finally managed to roll down the condom and immediately reached for the lube. He squeezed more than necessary out of the bottle, hurriedly spreading it on his cock. A second later, he was kneeling left and right of Wang Yue's thighs, digging his thumb into Wang Yue's cheek to pull it to the side, steadying his dick with his other hand.

Wang Yue held his breath in anticipation as he felt the tip rubbing over his rim. Before he could beg again, Ling Rui finally pushed inside, slowly but steadily filling Wang Yue up, spreading him further and reaching deeper than Wang Yue could remember ever having felt before. He cried out in pleasure, curling his toes. 

"Fuck!" He gasped, his lungs filling with air. Greedily, he clenched down on Ling Rui's cock. 

"Oh my god. You're so tight, Yue'er." Ling Rui let go of Wang Yue's ass cheek to lie down, his chest flush against Wang Yue's back. "It doesn't hurt?" he whispered, his lips brushing Wang Yue's ear.

Wang Yue shook his head, grabbing the sheets. "Feels so fucking good."

"It does," Ling Rui confirmed, slowly but steadily rolling his hips. 

Ling Rui's body weight pressed Wang Yue deeper into the soft mattress, Wang Yue's cock trapped underneath him. Moaning, Wang Yue rolled his hips as best as possible, meeting Ling Rui's movements. He never would have thought that such short and slow thrusts could feel so good. Usually, Wang Yue preferred getting fucked hard and wild, feeling Ling Rui's whole cock slipping out and then back in, but today, this leisurely pace was perfect. It was almost too perfect.

Whining, Wang Yue pulled on the sheets, so aroused that he couldn't think clearly anymore. It felt so good and he needed more, but at the same time it already felt overwhelming and like too much.

"Yue'er." Ling Rui's hot breath grazed Wang Yue's ear, tickling him. He grabbed Wang Yue's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You're making me feel so good, Yue'er," he praised, causing Wang Yue to whine and squeeze down on his cock. "Yes!" Ling Rui shuddered against Wang Yue's back. "That."

Wang Yue clenched down on Ling Rui's cock again, relishing the high-pitched whine that fell from Ling Rui's lips in return. 

"Yue'er," Ling Rui dragged out the last syllable of Wang Yue's name, rolling his hips with more vigor now. Wang Yue shuddered and whined, thrashing his head left and right. When Ling Rui let go of his right hand to reach under his body instead, long fingers wrapping around his cock, Wang Yue curled his toes and cried out in need.

"Rui-ge!" Pressing his eyes shut, Wang Yue tensed, feeling his orgasm building up inside. Ling Rui kept brushing against his prostate and stroking his dick at the same steady rhythm, driving Wang Yue crazy with need until his arousal finally exploded and he came with a loud, drawn-out scream.

Gasping, Ling Rui immediately followed him over the edge —as if he had only waited for Wang Yue to come first— his cock twitching and pulsing inside Wang Yue.

They both shuddered, trying to catch their breaths as they lay on top of each other, their bodies covered in sweat.

Wang Yue's eyelids felt as heavy as his limbs, but he smiled, blissed out. 

"That was so good," Ling Rui mumbled, lazily kissing Wang Yue's shoulder.

Wang Yue only hummed in confirmation, too exhausted to speak. 

"I'm so glad we don't have to hold back anymore from now on," Ling Rui whispered. "We'll see each other every day, have a bedroom door we can lock, and thick walls."

Wang Yue smirked. He liked where this was going. "So you'll fuck me more often?" he mumbled against the sheets, his words slurred from exhaustion.

"As often as I can." Ling Rui kissed Wang Yue's cheek. "Promise."

It sounded too good to be true. It was more than Wang Yue could ever have asked for. He had a new home, together with his brother and the man he loved, kind neighbors, and a lovely landlady. Ling Rui's family didn't live far away and supported them whenever and however needed. Wang Yue wasn't alone anymore. He had people he could rely on, and people who cherished him. It would take him a while to realize all that and to learn to depend on others from time to time, but that was a challenge that Wang Yue gladly accepted.

As long as Ling Rui was by his side, Wang Yue would be happy — always.

 

Notes:

That's the end of the fic. A big THANK YOU to my lovely beta-reader G who read it all and gave me so much feedback to improve my writing, patiently answering all my questions.

Also thanks to everyone who read this whole fic (or maybe even the complete series) and wrote me comments. I really appreciate it. Your kind words encourage me to keep going!

I didn't write this series chronologically, and unfortunately, it shows. But I still hope you enjoyed it as a whole! I put my heart and soul into this series and I'm very happy it's finally complete. I will always love LingYue. Thank you, and goodbye. ♥

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Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Accepting your love is a challenge I want to win