Chapter Text
Madara Uchiha stares down at the journal in his hand, too many emotions filling him.
Greif. Sorrow. Pain. Guilt.
Madara stands, making his way through the dark night of the village as he makes the journey to the Hokage's office.
He freezes in place when he enters, spotting the very man he's feeling... way too many things over.
Tobirama Senju, and his usual blank face, the one I would have scowled at, walks down the hallway to his own lab, never sparing me a look... a reason I now understand. The lab Hashirama insisted he have in the Hokage's building.
I was for it, but because I could keep an eye on him here. Now...
I walk to the Hokage's office, opening the door and ignoring Hashirama's excitement as I close the door behind me, activating the silencing seal.
Hashirama immediately calms, understanding something is wrong.
"Madara?" He asks seriously.
I walk over to him, slamming the journal down on the table.
Hashirama looks at it in confusion.
"It was Izunas. I found it going through his things." I mutter, still overwhelmed with too many emotions.
I raise a hand when he goes to speak. "Read it." I give him a look. "All of it, Hashirama." I say firmly.
Hashirama nods slowly, reaching out and picking it up.
It only takes a few entries about childish excitement over ninja before Hashirama freezes.
____________________________________________________________
January 1980
I made my first friend today! The boy with the white hair and red eyes was so strong! Not that I would tell him that...
But he showed up out of nowhere and saved my life. He didn't speak, and it confused me, until I realized he was scared.
Why was he scared? He just saved my life!
Then I saw his clan symbol. A Senju. A Uchiha's mortal enemy.
But he was scared, and he saved my life!
He disappeared though. I was upset I couldn't thank him, but I don't care what clan he's from! A Senju or not, he saved my life and I'm going to make him my friend!
_______________________________________________________________
March 1980
I saw him again!
I learned his name was Tobirama Senju. Talk about a mouthful.
He barely spoke to me, but that's okay. He didn't run away this time... something he denied doing last time. *Rolls eyes. *
Anyways, Tobi- yes, I will continue calling him that, regardless of what he has to say about it- was super cool!
He didn't speak much, but I learned he was the second born, and was super kind!
He's also two years younger than me! He's only six and he's already so strong... my first friend is going to be the strongest of them all, I know it!
That makes me the elder, so I have to guide my new friend.
I've never been the elder before.... I hope I do okay.
_________________________________________
April 1980
I met Tobi again today.
We ran into each other on my mission, and he was on one too.
It makes no sense! He's only six, why is he going on so many missions at such a young age? And alone at that!
I'm worried for my new friend.
He doesn't speak much, but he's young, and kind...
I think my new friend is being hurt.
________________________________________
May 1980
I ran into Tobi again...
Tobi was hurt.
Tobi doesn't know my Sharingan can see beneath his seals. But they can. Why was Tobi hurt, when he told me he hasn't been on a mission since the last time he saw me?
I know the answer, an answer I don't want to write here.
That makes it real, and I don't want it to be real.
_________________________________________
July 1980
I haven't seen Tobi in two months.
That's a good thing, right? That means he's not going on missions. Right?
__________________________________________
September 1980
I saw Tobi again.
He's gotten stronger... but he's broken.
How does a six-year-old break? Who could break a six-year-old child?
I'm going to fix him.
_______________________________________
February 1981
Tobi has gotten much better!
Who knew a little kindness and encouragement could fix someone?? ME!
He's begun opening up to me. It's such a rewarding feeling, learning about someone like Tobi, knowing he'd never allow another to know.
His father hurts him. It makes me so angry.
I hate that I'm too small to do anything.
I hate that no one bigger is doing anything.
Tobi thinks he needs to stay quiet, because it was beaten into him.
Tobi thinks he's a weapon, because his father practically tortured him until he stopped showing emotions!
It makes me so angry... so, so... sad.
When I'm older, I'm going to kill Tobi's father.
________________________________________
April 1981
I got Tobi a bracelet for his birthday. He was so shocked to receive it that I vowed to get him gifts all the time!
He was so shy and watching him fluster in his embarrassment was rewarding in its own way.
I cracked Tobirama Senju! Me! Izuna Uchiha!
Tobi is such a sweetheart... I only wish he would allow the world to see it.
____________________________________________
June 1981
Our brothers got caught seeing each other. Isn't it funny that they became friends too? I found Tobi first though, HA Aniki!
Tobi's brother blamed him. I'm so angry. Tobi has no one at home. Not a single person. He just lost one of his younger brothers, and had to feel him dying, due to his sensing. No one even asked if he was okay, and his stupid brother had the nerve to ask him how he could feel nothing.
CAN'T YOU SEE HIM?
I sure can. And my Tobi is broken once more.
His stupid Anija blamed him for being caught, as if he just forgot Tobi was a sensor all of the time and could feel them meeting up for months.
Stupid Hashirama. I won't kill him, but I'll hurt him very badly.
Maybe that will knock some sense into the Tree brained man.
_______________________________________________
January 1982
I had to battle my best friend today.
He was so powerful. Fast and already knowing so many Jutsus! But... he was scared. So very scared.
I don't like seeing Tobi scared. It's a terrifying feeling. Like a pit has carved its way into my stomach.
It doesn't matter how powerful he is when he hates battling, hates killing.
Why is the world so against Tobi being happy?
I'm going to ensure his happiness... just watch.
___________________________________________________
February 1982
Tobi messed up today.
Or did I?
I never would have guessed it. Ever.
If the seals he created to hide himself weren't revealed, I would have forever lived in ignorance.
I had no chance to question the drastic change in appearance, only focused on the one very blaringly obvious change as he ran from me.
Tobirama Senju... is an omega.
_______________________________________________________
March 1982
I've not seen Tobi all month.
There's been no battles, so I can't corner him.
Doesn't he know I don't care? Hasn't our friendship made that clear enough? That i'd always help him?
Stupid Izuna. Of course, he doesn't know. Tobi is gentle, emotionally sensitive. He's been hurt too many times, betrayed many times by his own blood, to believe I wouldn't use this information against him.
I'm going to prove it to him. Just watch!
___________________________________________________________
July 1982
Many months later and I finally caught him.
I cornered him on a mission and finally got him talking.
It took a lot of enticing, but he broke.
I'd never understood how he could break and not cry until that moment.
The seals.
The seals hide it all. His emotions, his looks, his tears.
Everything.
Tobirama Senju is a made-up creation of Batsuma Senju.
The perfect emotionless weapon.
Tobi, though? Tobi is beautiful.
His long white hair hits his lower back, and curls is these perfect ringlets that I couldn't stop tugging on, just to watch them bounce back. His pretty red eyes, brightened to a red even brighter than my Sharingan. His height drastically shortened, something he was very pouty over. And isn't that funny to write? I'm sure the Izuna from a few years ago wouldn't believe his first friend could pout.
Tobi explained how his father viewed Omega, and if he ever found out, would either sell him, or kill him.
I shudder just thinking about the way he said that. Like it was normal.
Uchiha cherish Omega. Always.
And I plan to cherish the one that just so happens to be my very best friend.
__________________________________________
October 1986
I can't believe I forgot about this!
Oh man, looking back on all my entries... I can't help but laugh, remembering it all.
Tobi was such a cute little kid.
It's rewarding knowing he's changed so drastically from the Tobi he was four years ago.
Hm... Tobi. I guess it wouldn't hurt to begin writing once more. Maybe I can give this journal to him as a gift.
Well, let's see. Tobi and I continued to grow closer together, never being caught by our brothers.
Shocked? Nah, I'm not. Tobi's too brilliant to be caught, unlike our elder brothers.
Ha! Take that Tobi's stupid Anija! He's one hundred times smarter than you ever could be!
Okay... so maybe I'm not his biggest fan, but can you blame me?
The man basically disregards how everyone treats his brother.
He's not the emotionless tool he portrays out of self-preservation, but even if he was, you're his brother! You should always put him first!
...
I had to take a breather.
Anyways, Tobi has come up with seals we use during battles. Together with my Sharingan he was able to make it look like we're battling, when we're in fact... not.
Tobi and I hide behind yet another seal he created to conceal us, and we use the time to catch up, giving funny commentary on the different battles going around us.
I usually bring the games and Tobi the snacks.
God, I wish I could tell someone about this.
How funny is it? I'm laughing just writing it!
A Uchiha and a Senju, watching their clans battle to their death while we snack on fruit and play cards. HAHA
____________________________________________________________
December 1986
Tobi is getting stronger.
It's fascinating to see.
I've never heard of someone, let alone seen someone be able to use every element.
He does though, and he's mastered them all.
The day he produced his own Moktun, I was laughing so hard.
Of course, Tobi would attempt it because he was bored. Yes! Bored! Tobi completed his project and had nothing else to do, so he figured, why not try? And it worked!
Only Tobi... Tobi.
__________________________________________________________
March 1987
Today, Tobi and I got to go out together!
No missions, no hiding, just two friends getting to explore the town.
He took off his seal, I removed my Uchiha clothing, and we had the best day ever!
We shopped and ate and god, his laugh was so perfect.
And his smile.
And his eyes. Such a pretty red.
Oh fuck.
I went on a date with Tobirama Senju.
____________________________________________________________
April 1987
I had to remind Tobi to take breaks again.
I swear, is it a think with geniuses? To not take breaks and rest?!
God, if only that stupid Anija had brains to SEE his brother needs help.
Tobi has been hiding things from me.
I don't know what. But he was learning to take care of his health when I'm not there to help him. He was creating nests and seeking me out when he needed help.
Now...? It's like he's reverted.
Tobi's hiding things from me... and I'm going to figure out what.
_______________________________________________________________
July 1987
I know what Tobi was hiding from me.
I don't want to write it down. I don't want to chance anyone finding this and knowing.
But I need to tell someone. Someone needs to know. They need to know-
Tobi's father found out.
Tobi's father found out he was an omega.
Tobi's father hurt him.
Irrevocably .
I'm angry. Filled with so much rage. I don't think I'll ever get the image of my broken Tobi out of my mind.
His father stole something from him. The one thing that was solely his, the one thing that-
My poor Tobi.
Tobi.
Tobi.
what do I do?
____________________________________________________
August 1991
I can't believe I forgot about this... again!
I'm going to keep up with it this time. Believe that!
Let's see... I'm nineteen now, Tobi is seventeen, something he's still pouty over. HA! Respect your elders, Tobi!
Tobi came up with a seal to transfer him through time and space itself.
It's brilliant, just as everything else he does.
Tobi can now come to me whenever he can.
Tobi used it for the first-time last night, and we spend the whole night in the safety of my room, away from his clan and... father.
He was safe, and he nested.
He nested! In my room!
I've never felt pride like I did last night. My alpha instincts we're the calmest they've ever been.
I held him all night! The entire night I got to hold him, and protect him, and watch over him.
I've sealed my room for 'privacy'. I'd rather never allow Aniki in, than remove his scent. The perfect scent of lavender and ink. Such an odd mix, but it comes together so beautifully.
Tobi....
Oh fuck.
I'm in love with Tobirama Senju.
____________________________________________
December 1991
I told him.
My heart is still pounding.
I told him I love him... and he said it back.
Tobirama Senju, the most powerful ninja to exist, loves me.
The man of my dreams loves me.
His smiles, his laughs, his happiness... it's now mine.
I'm going to cherish this and protect it with my everything.
I won't lose this. Not Tobi. Not my Tobi.
He's mine now, my omega, and I'm going to love him with everything I've got.
________________________________________________
January 1992
Tobi's Anija became clan head.
We're so close.
Once Aniki becomes clan head, we can create a village and be together forever.
No more sneaking, no more false image. I refuse to allow Tobi to continue with this feared image he's got going on. My sweet Tobi hates it, but is too scared to tell the truth.
No worries. I'll do it for him, and kill any that upset him, clan or not.
_____________________________________________________
March 1993
I'm dying.
_______________________________________________________
April 1993
Tuberculosis.
The only uncurable disease. Even Hashirama Senju himself can't heal it.
The healer says I have a year to live.
A year.
One more year.
I'm not scared of death, I'm a ninja.
I'm scared for Tobi though.
My beautiful, sweet Tobi.
I'm so sorry, little love.
_____________________________________________________
May 1993
I told him.
I told him, and of course my brilliant Tobi went off to find a cure.
My brilliant, stubborn Tobi.
It's going to hit him. The fact that I can't be cured. It's going to hit him, but I'll be here, waiting in my room for him, arms wide open.
_____________________________________________________
May 1993
It hit him. Hard.
My sweet Tobi.
Broken once more, and it's my fault this time.
__________________________________________________
October 1993
My Tobi has gotten good at acting like he's okay, but I know him better than he knows himself.
Silly Tobi forgets he's readable when his seal is off.
I'm so sorry, little love.
______________________________________________
December 1993
We got in our first fight today.
It's surprising to realize we've never argued about anything.
Tobi is too sweet to not listen. He's so good, so kind... but he was hiding something from me. And we don't hide things from each other.
Tobi was planning on dying with me.
I can't stop crying. I don't know how too. What an alpha I am... huh?
I always knew I was his world, just as he is mine. But the realization that he sees no reason to stay in a world I'm not in, is the most painful feeling I've ever experienced.
He has no one else.
I have my brother, my clan and my Tobi.
Tobi's father turned his clan against him. Tobi's Anija is too blind to see what's right in front of him. Tobi only has me.
And I'm leaving him. God, why is fate so cruel?
Too bad I'm a selfish man. A man who would do anything for Tobi, even if it's something he would hate me for.
I'm going to ensure Tobi can't die.
I'm going to pray to Amaretsu for someone to find him in time, and I'm going to force him to live.
__________________________________________________________
January 1994
Tobi mastered Sage mode.
He'd been working on it for years, and I'm so proud of him.
His wolf summons aided him, making him a wolf sage.
He's brilliant when he's in sage mode, his power fully revealed and blanketing the surrounding area.
How does no one see the powerful being in front of them?
How does anyone look at Tobi and feel fear or hate?
He's perfect.
_____________________________________________________________
February 1994
I found it.
The solution.
It took secrets and bribery, but I acquired the seal to ensure he can't harm himself in anyway.
Sadly, the seal only lasts for a year, but it's the best I could find.
For a whole year after my death, Tobi won't be able to die.
I wondered why it wasn't widely used, until realizing so much Chakra is needed, that it would kill the person activating it.
Jokes on them, I'm almost dead anyways.
Tobi thinks I don't know he's still going through with his plan to die by my side, but I know Tobi better than he knows himself.
I'm sorry, little love... this is one adventure I'm going to take alone.
_________________________________________________________________
March 1993
I didn't need to say anything.
The moment Tobi looked into my eyes; he knew my request.
I couldn't form the words, knowing they were selfish... but I'd always wanted a warrior's death, something I know Tobi also understood.
Tobi agreed to be Tobirama Senju, and end my life on the battlefield.
With less than a month to live, and the seal ready, it's almost time.
Time to leave the world and my sweet Tobi.
I've prayed to Amaretsu over and over again, begging for her to watch over my other half, to guide someone, anyone to my broken Tobi. Anyone.
A year. Just one year. It seems so long, but now that I've lived it with my impeding death on the horizon, I know how fast it can go.
__________________________________________________________________
April 1993
As I've prepared for the battle, I've just realized something very big.
Something that will hurt my Tobi even more.
Something I forgot and will now not be able to warn him about.
My Aniki will take my eyes after my death.
God, I'm so sorry little love.
Don't look.
Just don't meet his eyes.
I'm begging anyone, anything, out there to push Tobi to look away. Too keep his gaze averted.
Please. If no request gets answered, then at least this one.
Don't force him to meet my eyes on another. Not unprepared. Not like this. Please.
...
Tobi.
The light of my life. Thank you for saving me in the woods as children. Thank you for showing yourself to me. Thank you for accepting me and allowing me to accept you in return. Thank you for being my first friend and becoming my best friend. Thank you for your laughs and your smiles and most of all your happiness. Thank you for trusting me with it. Thank you for placing yourself in my hands and allowing me to cherish and adore you with every fiber of my being. I love you to the moon and back, my little omega. Never forget it. You always have been and always will be my most prized accomplishment, and I could never regret meeting you that day. I only hope you stick around and allow another to cherish you in the way you deserve. I approve, wholeheartedly. I promise. Your happiness is above all, darling. Love and be loved, don't settle and grab it all. Hold it close to your heart and trust again. You won't regret it, Tobi. I promise.
I'm sorry for leaving.
I'm sorry for keeping a secret.
I'm sorry for this, little love.
Forgive me?
_________________________________________________________
I stare across the Hokage's desk, at my best friend, watching as tears stream down his face.
I'm no better, but no one's here to see me constantly wiping at my eyes.
"How was I... so wrong?" Hashirama chokes out.
I look at him, really look and see the guilt and devastation.
He's just as in the wrong as I am for how we've treated Tobirama.
Granted, I've had no reason to like him, but this is his brother. He should have seen... "Your father ensured you split." I murmur in my own slight surprise.
Hashirama looks up to me, rage filling his eyes.
I would be shocked if I didn't know this man as well as I do.
He freezes in the next moment. "Madara... why were you going through Izuna's things." He asks quietly.
I give him a look like he's an idiot. "It's his anniversary."
Hashirama stares at me, and I stare back, until realization dawns. "A year." I gasp, shooting from my seat.
We waste no time, racing through the building and throwing open the door to Tobi's lab.
He's not here.
"Oh god." Hashirama whispers with horror, and I understand. The place has been cleared of all of Tobi's work and projects, leaving it with only the tools and bare necessities.
"Your home?" I ask sharply, anxiety building in my heart at the thought of us being too late.
Hashirama shakes his head. "He's barely there." He says with resurfacing guilt that we don't have time for.
I sigh in frustration before realization dawns, and I take off.
"Madara!" Hashirama barks out, following quickly.
"Where they met." I mutter, continuing to run through the night.
Hashirama gasps before he's next to me, running just as hard.
We push, never slowing, the moon in the sky shining down on us in its melancholy.
The time it takes to get to the place Izuna described feels like hours.
We skirt to a stop, standing on a cliff and looking down into the little paradise.
The trees surround a small lake, moon shining down and illuminating the white hair spread out on the ground.
Hashirama and I waste no time jumping down and rushing for the man.
I freeze, sucking in a breath at the site of him.
Izuna wasn't exaggerating. He's just as he described... beautiful.
And very much not breathing.
I drop to my knees, beginning to push on his chest as Hashirama also snaps out of his shock, Chakra entering his system quickly, even if tears stream down his face at being faced with the consequences of his negligence.
Tobirama gasps, the poison in his system causing him to blink blearily.
His eyes meet mine for the first time.
Izuna's words come to mind.
Tobirama smiles, and it's breathtaking, before his heart-breaking words register. "My star." He whispers with so much love and happiness that my eyes water. I look nothing like my brother, but Tobirama is too out of it as he shakily brings a hand up to cup my cheek. "I've missed you so much." He chokes out.
His eyes close, and I catch his hand before it can drop to the ground.
"He's going to need time to recover, but he'll... live." He chokes out before he's crying heavy, fully realizing how badly he's fucked up.
I can't take my eyes off of Tobirama Senju.
"I'm here." I murmur to his asleep form, pulling into my arms and ignoring Hashiramas shock.
I hold him closely, inhaling his scent. Pleasant... just as Izuna described. Lavender and Ink, such an odd combination, but the most pleasant scent.
"Madara?" Hashirama asks with something in his tone I decide to ignore.
"I'll help him recover." I cut off his next words. "You're Hokage, you're busy." I mutter, beginning to walk away.
Hashirama sighs. "Just... be gentle. Please." He murmurs.
I look over at him, giving him a look.
"I know I have a lot to apologize for and make up for... but, he's still my brother." He says quietly.
I look at him, before nodding. "I won't hurt him." I vow, looking into his eyes seriously.
Understanding passes, and we're off once more.
Tobirama Senju.... Tobi. huh.