Spiderverse groupchat

by rainchu

Summary:

Hobie: nicknames are just labels

Miles: So deep and thoughtful hobie

Margo: What’s the point of all this again

Peni: whimsy and joy

Peter: I feel like the adults here will all get several headaches.

Noir: Yeah.

Ham: Seconded

 

///////
Classic Spiderverse groupchat probably the occasional angsty moment but mostly silly content

Chapter 1: kilometers: WHY DO YOU JUST HATE ME

Notes:

Mild CW for mentions of blood/injury miles gets a little hurt nothing serious

Peni Parker added several people to SPIDERPPL!!

Peni Parker changed several nicknames

SP//dr: HAIIIII (((o(°▽°)o)))

Pav: HELLOOOO ＼(≧▽≦)／

Kilometers: Hello??

Kilometers: Wow very funny Peni.

SP//dr: (⊙_⊙)

Kilometers: That’s not an acceptable response

Ghost: hey?

Ghost: oh I like mine

Kilometers: WHY IS MINE THE ONLY ONE LIKE THIS???

SP//dr: ur name is easier to work with

Kiloemeters changed SP//dr’s nickname

Penny: what

Penny: NOOOOO ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏ <) ･ﾟ｡

Spiderdad: Miles, don’t be rude

Spiderdad: Oh my god and I really am I dad now

Kilometers: SHE STARTED IT

Punk: I’m fine with mine too

Avatar: I mean it’s fine

Kilometers: WHY DO YOU JUST HATE ME

Penny: (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

Kilometers: STOP GUILT TRIPPING ME :(

Pav: stop yelling at her kilometers

Kilometers changed their nickname

Miles: I can’t think of anything else.

Ghost: boring

Miles: SHUT

Penny: (╥_╥)

Miles changed Penny’s nickname

Peni: ok!! thx!!!

Noir: I don’t think these nicknames are all that good of an idea anyway.

Peni: everyone’s a critic huh (￣ ￣|||)

Green Ham: Yeah I’m not a big fan

Peni: i wasn’t gonna keep em long anyway just wanted to test the nickname feature

Peni changed several nicknames

Pav: Mines the same

Peni: A few are

Gwen: back to just Gwen

Hobie: nicknames are just labels

Miles: So deep and thoughtful hobie

Margo: What’s the point of all this again

Peni: whimsy and joy

Peter: I feel like the adults here will all get several headaches.

Noir: Yeah.

Ham: Seconded

Peni: (￢_￢;) we’re not that bad..

Noir: You kids are all just… a lot.

Miles: Aw :(

Pav: I think we’re all great

Peni: so true!!

Gwen: Mhmm

Hobie: I’m in between adult and teenager here

Margo: such is the curse of being 19 I guess

Hobie: I’m responsible though

Gwen: you’re most of an adult in that regard

Noir: Eh we need any responsible figure with these kids

Peni: (눈_눈) nuh uh

Peter: I’ve watched you drink five milkshakes in one sitting

Peni: they were good

Pav: They were exceptionally good milkshakes!!

Miles: I think it was more how fast she did it that had me concerned

Gwen: I don’t even think she was breathing

Peni: i wasnt!!

Peni: who needs oxygen when I can chug sweet sugary milkshakes instead

Hobie: I see where the headaches are going to come in…

Miles: :(

Pav: We need to get you some kaomojis miles you can’t keep “:(”ing

Miles: Okay..?

Miles: Ntt to prove you all right with the headache thing so soon…

Miles: but…….

Hobie: Oh God.

Miles: Can someone pls hop on into my universe who knows how to deal with head injuries <(_ _)>

Pav: Hey the kaomojis!!!

Pav: (°▽°)

Peni: YAYYYY o(≧▽≦)o

Gwen: ARENYUU OKAY???

Gwen: WHY IS NO ONE OAYING ATTENTION TO THAT??

Margo: Yeah guys how are the kaomojis the highlights here

Hobie: I’m on my way calm down

Miles: Cool!! I will be waiting for you in my school dorm (＾་།＾)

Peter: Did you add a fucking nosebleed

Miles: For accuracy

Peni: ヾ(´ ▽ ` )

Noir: Miles, how do you feel?

Miles: just slammed into a wall high speed but I don’t feel light headed

Margo: How..

Miles: Mostly just like…

Miles: Headache :(

Peni: live miles clip- ☆⌒(> _ <)

Miles: Me^^^

Margo: Oh my god

Hobie: Jfc

Peter: Are you there??

Peter: Does he need more help????

Pav: I’m surprised you didn’t volunteer to go tbh

Miles: Me too bitch

Peter: The baby is asleep on me.

Peter: I would trust Peni to go get you before I woke her up honestly

Miles: UM??(

Peni: WHAT

Peni: WHATS WRONG WITH ME???

Peter: YOURE YOUNGER THAN MILES!

Peni: (¬_¬)…

Margo: Ooooohhhh you’re in trouble

Miles: You guys keep forgetting how effectively peni guilt trips </3

Peter: NOT LIKE THAT

Noir: It’s just that you wouldn’t trust a baby to babysit another baby, doll.

Margo: Digging yourself a deeper whole man

Peni: (∘⁼̴⃙̀˘︷˘⁼̴⃙́∘)

Miles: Jesus

Miles: HOBIE IS HERE (-^〇^-)

Miles: [image attached]

Peni: he looks angry

Pav: (⌒_⌒;) I would be scared

Hobie: If I said I was just disappointed how would that feel

Peni: OLDDDDDD

Miles: Old man

Ham: You kids are insane

Ham: How’s Miles doing though

Gwen: ^^^^

Miles: Fine

Hobie: Not that bad, no stitches needed

Hobie: Disinfected and taped it up.

Miles: The biggest problem is how to explain this to my parents

Peter: Your super healing should deal with it by the end of the day if it isn’t that deep

Peni: I can bring u super fast healing injections if u rlly need I just don’t know how ur body will react to future medicine

Miles: You can take it right?

Peni: Miles I live in a time where the air is like 20% oxygen

Peni: ofc I can handle chemicals

Peter: I’m always so concerned about all of you

Noir: Was it not jarring to appear in Miles’ dimension?

Peni: I thought the clean air was just like… an after effect of portal hopping

Peni: like it made everyone’s lungs kinda weak

Peni: took a second to realize when I got back to mine

Ham: We’re gonna have to give you oxygen in a can or something

Pav: I think we should all take from Noir’s dimension, isn’t his the oldest and least polluted?

Miles: That is a very fair point

Noir: For know all YOU need to do is rest, Miles.

Peter: Yeah, agreed.

Ham: Uh huh

Hobie: I hate to agree with all the old people, but yeah

Noir: How old do you all reckon I am?

Peni: 35

Noir: What?

Miles: NEVER ANSWER A WUESTION ABOUT SOMEONES AGE PENI

Peni: 人(_ _*) was I off?

Margo: Don’t hit the man with a Kaomoji right now 😭

Hobie: Honestly I was betting around the same

Noir: Not even close.

Miles: Like… older or younger

Peter: GUYS YOURE MAKING THIS WORSE

Gwen: 30???

Pav: Maybe like 28

Noir: I’m twenty-three.

Peni: SHOCK??!!?

Pav: ∑(O_O;)

Miles: (⊙_⊙)

Gwen: NO WAY?(?

Ham: Okay even I’m a bit caught off guard

Hobie: Is that what I’m gonna be like in a few years?

Peter: I thought at the very least 25 tbh

Noir: I regret asking that question.

Ham: How old how old is everyone else here because I don’t trust my guessing skills now??

Miles: 15

Peni: 14!!

Pav: 15!!!! Age twins Miles ( ˙▿˙ )

Gwen: 16

Margo: Same 16

Hobie: 19

Peter: 39

Ham: 30, Jesus you are old Peter

Peter: Oh god I am

Peni: man I really am the youngest

Peter: Get back to elementary Peni

Peni: get back to the retirement home old man (¬_¬)

Peter: You’ve wounded me.

Hobie: I think we need to start not letting anyone under 18 do this spiderman business 

Miles: You’re BARELY 19 you’re closer to us than them man

Peni: BE ON OUR SIDEEEE

Hobie: I can’t support the reckless endangerment you guys participate in on a daily basis honestly

Pav: ╥﹏╥

Miles: Hobie doesn’t get to be in the super secret side chat us kids make then

Peter: IS THAT REAL???

Peni: (･ω<)

Noir: Don’t do that, is that chat real?

Pav: (^_<)

Hobie: jfc

Ham: You guys are the worst

Miles: \_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯

Margo: I don’t know how much I’d like to be in that chat actually..

Miles: Then you’re cut

Margo: WAIT I TAKE IT BACK I DONT LIKE THE IDEA OF NOT BEING INVOLVED ANYMORE

Peni: THEN UR IN!!!

Peni: ☆:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:☆

Peter: God dammit

Notes:

Working on a peni Parker fic at like 9k rn but it’s very angsty and hurt comfort stuff so doing this in the meantime!!

Love the spider kids <3

Was on the fence with wether or not I wanted to go with the idea that the movie probably aged Noir up or make him younger but I think it’s funnier if he’s like young twenties and everyone is shocked

Chapter 2: Peni: heyyy who’s not a snitch

Notes:

Peni is sick :’(

Miles created SPIDERLINGS

Miles added Margo, Peni, Gwen, Pav, and Prowler to SPIDERLINGS

Miles: everyone say hi to 42 miles, nicknaming him Prowler for simplicity sakes

Prowler: hey (¬ ¬ )

Miles: I told him to use one

Peni: HELLOOOO (((o(°▽°)o)))

Gwen: Hiiii

Pav: HELLO NEWER NEW GUY o(>ω <)o

Prowler: jesus they really are “energetic” huh?

Miles: I warned you

Peni: /pos or/neg (⌒_⌒;)

Prowler: uhh /pos I think

Miles: it’s /pos he just never talks to people

Margo: Are you adding him to the main chat

Miles: We are starting slow (o^▽^o)

Prowler: yeah

Pav: WELL WELCOME TO THE CHAT!!! Ur miles age then?

Prowler: yeah 15

Peni: you should’ve been a year younger I’m getting lonely

Prowler: how old r u???

Peni: 14 (↼_↼)

Peni: I can’t keep being the youngest

Margo: You’re a baby

Prowler: you’re like a freshman

Peni: im a senior im actually a kid genius (￢‿￢ )

Gwen: Emphasis on the “kid”

Peni: SHUT UP

Prowler: Jesus

Margo: Me and Gwen are officially the oldest and most responsible here

Gwen: Most responsible? We’re using that one VERYYYY loosely then huh

Margo: Yes.

Gwen: I’ll take it

Peni: we’re all the same age basically

Gwen: well….

Peni: IM RLLY NOT THAT MUCH YOUNGER

Pav: honestly im only 15 by a couple months

Peni: oh im only 14 by like a month

Peni: huh (￣ ￣|||)

Pav: well I tried (ｏ・_・)/

Peni: thx Pav ur a real one ( _ _ )

Miles: (ｏ・_・)/( _ _ )

Miles: Peni and Pav rn

Pev: TRUE!!!

Peni: !!!!

Prowler: oh my god is this all they do

Margo: We get dumber by being here honestly

Gwen: I think it’s kinda funny

Margo: I will demote you

Gwen: Sorry.

 

Peni: heyyy who’s not a snitch 

Margo: Nervous

Margo: So so nervous right now

Peni: thats not an answer

Prowler: Concerned by the lack of kaomojis honestly

Peni: none of you are good at answering

Pav: I’m kind of a snitch honestly I just like when authority figures aren’t mad at me (⌒_⌒;)

Peni: I appreciate the honesty but we’re 0 for 3 here now

Peni: @Miles @Gwen how we feeling

Gwen: Margo will yell at me

Margo: Good job Gwen

Gwen: WOW i need more compliments that made me feel smth

Margo: ??????

Gwen: Sorry

Prowler: Nah i get it

Miles: what’s up Peni

Peni: you won’t tell

Miles: unless you’re actively bleeding out nah

Peni: ALRIGHT GIVE IT UP FOR MILESSSSS

Peni: ☆:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:☆

Miles: YAYYYY???

Pav: now i wish I didn’t snitch

Margo: STOP ALL OF YOU

Peni: pls come to my dimension rn (¯︶¯)

Peni: I’m in my room hop on through the window and help me 

Miles: Yeah on my way

Peni: r u scared of needles

Peni: pls don’t be scared of needles

Gwen: I think im gonna go over there after hearing that one

Margo: So close to snitching

Prowler: That was.. ominous yeah

Peni: shut up \(^ヮ^)/

Peni: wrong one

Peni: no it works

Miles: I might be a snitch now that im here

Peni: NOOOOOOOO

Margo: You two are in the same room??

Peni: NILES

Miles: never in my life seen someone so fucking sick holy crap

Miles: SHE HAS A FEVER OF 105??

Pav: (⊙_⊙)

Prowler: What the fuck

Gwen: Huh!

Margo: I’m snitching

Peni: MILES YOU BITCH

 

SPIDERPPL!!

Margo: @everyone PENI HAS A FEVWR OF 105

Peter: THE SIDECHAT IS REAL???

Noir: 105°?!

Ham: What the hell

Hobie: I’m on my way where is she

Peni: IM FJNE

Peni: FURURE GUYS FUTUREEEEE

Peni: CHEMICALS GUYS WE CAN HHAVE HIGHER TEMPERATURES

Pav: is 105 not a high fever???

Peni: noooooo

Peni: yes yeah it is 

Miles: IM SORRY PENI

Miles: IM SCARED

Miles: IT GENUINELY HURTS TO TOUCH UR FOREHEAD AND U CAN BARELY MOVE

Peni: im voice texting this all yeah

Peni: it got more advanced and accurate later

Pav: THE KAOMOJIS???

Peni: had to do it manually genuinely hurt

Peni: MILES

Miles: AHHHHHH(?? HELP

Hobie: IM GOING.

Noir: Please tell me if I can go.

Peter: ^^^

Hobie: wait a sec idk how crowded it is

Peni: just grab that tube out in in my tight like an epi pen and click the PENI WHAT THE FUCK MILES THE VOICE CHAT IS ON SHUT UP PENI WHAT THE FUCK AGAIN MILESSS SEND SEND

Miles: It really was on

Pav: Oh my god????

Gwen: THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP

Gwen: I CANT

Gwen: PENI YOU BETTER BE OKAY OR IM GOING TO HELL

Hobie: I handled it jfc

Miles: I am never ever

Miles: NEVER

Miles: EVER.

Miles: taking future medicine

Miles: Her whole fucking body just went straight, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and then she jumped up fine

Peni: Yeah im fine

Peni: I just forgot to take the injection in time and it hit me hard

Peni: remind me to never trust miles again

Miles: HOW JS THIS

Peni: ALL YOU HAD TO DK WAS PRESS THE FUCKINF BUTRIN

Miles: 105???? ONE HUNDRED AND FIEV?!?!?!

Peni: GO HOME

Miles: NO IM SCARED NOW

Hobie: I left

Gwen: im going to hell oh my god

Margo: This is the worst

Margo: You guys are the worst

Peni: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° yayyyyy im all better

Noir: Lay down and rest or I will go there and tie you to your bed sweetheart

Peni: don’t petname and threaten me

Miles: I mean she seems fine honestly

Hobie: Put me in the side chat

Margo: No you’re a bigger snitch than me

Peter: HOW LONG DID YOU KEEP THIS FROM US????

Miles: Five minutes calm down

Ham: HEADACHE

Ham: HEADACHES AND HEART ATTACKS AND MIGRAINES

Peni: Margo shouldn’t have snitched

Margo: 105 is a daunting number

Miles: ITS SCARY RIGHT

Hobie: I can’t handle spider kids oh god

 

SPIDERLINGS

Prowler: What the fuck happened

Peni: miles is a pussy and couldn’t give me the injection so hobie had to do it

Prowler: @Miles bitch

Miles: I was so scared

Pav: It was scary

Margo: I leaked the existence of this chat

Gwen: The adults are onto us

Peni: NO ONE LET HOBIE IN

Margo: Yeah actually I won’t he is a big snitch

Prowler: the punk dude

Prowler: Isn’t that like anti snitch

Miles: Well by snitch we mean tell the responsible adults when we deem we cannot handle the situation

Miles: Hobie is more responsible than us

Peni: if i can hide and repress it thats what i am gonna do

Pav: Do all spidermen turn out like this because I was doing pretty good before 

Miles: depression is a canon event

Gwen: ^^^

Prowler: I have a spiderpersons fate i guess

Margo: Something about canon event

Peni: third impact.

Prowler: like…

Prowler: like evangelion?

Peni: what

Miles: No we we don’t talk about that one man

Miles: Just move on

Prowler: Moving on i guess…

Pav: Does life just get worse

Gwen: Yeah

Miles: yep but the people get better!!

Margo: It evens out at some point probably

Prowler: Not for me it hasnt

Peni: everything gets worse and worse until you lose every single important person in your life and you’re left with a spider and basically live in the spider dimension

Gwen: I also basically live here

Prowler: Don’t they have a therapist for you guys…

Miles: I went but he just started crying halfway through so I left

Margo: I’ll bring that one up to Jess…

Pav: Are you guys okay (″ロ゛)

Peni: FEELING GREAT o(≧▽≦)o

Prowler: (↼_↼)

Notes:

Peni and miles r siblings

I almost had Margo say “good girl” in a joking way but it came off more flirty than I figured she would be

Chapter 3: Miles: They’re taking advantage of the power they know they have

Notes:

The adults realize they’re all somehow someone’s parent now

SPIDERPPL!!

Peter: Just saw Peni call Noir “dad” on accident and they both just stared at each other for half a minute and then kept talking

Peni: we stopped talking bc we were avoiding it!!! (((＞＜))) thx for this!!!!!!!!!

Peni: HEAVY /SARC

Noir: I don’t mind it, doll.

Peni: (×_×)

Peni: im not emotionally up for this conversation alone @Miles called Peter “Dad” when he and I were talking once

Miles: YOU BITCH

Miles: IM NOT GOING DOWN ALONE

Miles: @Gwen TOLD ME SHE WISHED JESS WAS HER MOM

Gwen: NOOOOOOOO

Miles: blame peni (￢_￢;)

Peni: BLAME PETER 凸(￣ヘ￣)

Noir: Don’t use those gestures Peni.

Peni: gnawing on the bars of my enclosure

Peni: I hate you Peter

Margo: Peter that was a little dirty

Peter: IM SORRY

Peter: I’m not it was funny

Peter: @Miles do you see me as a father figure

Miles: NOOOOOOO

Miles: UNLIKE PENI AND GWEN I HAVE TWO PARENTS I SHOULDNT BE IN THIS DISCUSSION

Peni: I mean for NOW

Peni: ur dad’s life is on the line pal.

Miles: (°ロ°)

Peni: srry that was really mean but so was that

Margo: You guys are VICOUS..

Gwen: yeah fuck you miles ik I don’t have a mom

Miles: Sorry I got called out

Peter: So you DO see me as a father?

Margo: I think we should add Jess to this

Gwen: NO

Peni: NOOOOO

Miles added Jess to SPIDERPPL!!

Miles: We’re evening it out

Jess: Hello?

Gwen: FUCK YOU MILES

Jess: Language??

Gwen: Srry.

Peni: now u know how it feels

Noir: Did I make you uncomfortable before?

Peni: hyperventilating 

Peni: i cannot answer this one without having to unpack fifteen childhood traumas first

Miles: STOP

Gwen: So real Peni

Hobie: You guys are so dysfunctional 

Peni: SHUT UP

Jess: What the Hell is going on

Peter: @Jess Peni called Noir Dad, Miles called me Dad, and Gwen said she wanted you to be her mom

Ham: Peter outed Peni Peni dragged Miles down with her and Miles dragged Gwen down with her

Jess: Aww, Gwen

Jess: You had no one else to pull down with you?

Gwen: I’m thinking about it

Pav: HMM!!!

Pav: let’s all take a breath

Pav: A DEEP BREATH!

Gwen: It’s not AS embarassing

Gwen: but now that Jess is in the chat

Jess: I’m right here yes

Gwen: Sorry cannot talk to you directly right now

Pav: What’s going on Gwen

Peni: SAY IT SAY IT

Gwen: Pav said @Hobie is like the big brother he never had 

Hobie: Huh

Pav: THATS NOT EVEN BAD THO

Pav: WERE BEST FRIENDS HOBIE

Hobie: It’s fine lmao

Pav: oh thank god

Pav: o(≧▽≦)o YAYYYYYYY

Gwen: FUCK

Jess: Gwen that was kinda mean

Gwen: Sorry.

Peter: DONT ABUSE YOUR POWER JESS YOURE JUST AS MEAN

Noir: Guys, none of us are bothered by you seeing us in a parental way.

Noir: It makes sense, anyway. It’s not like we haven’t… discussed this.

Peni: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A SIDECHAT???

Peter: We talk in person because we’re fucking normal

Peni: mean.

Peni: and im already sad (つ﹏<。)

Miles: How have you guys discussed this…

Gwen: Ong talk now

Hobie: Peter literally told everyone that he had a kid so that he could raise it like he “raised” Spiderman Miles

Peter: Honestly i think I told you that Miles

Miles: I DIDNT KNOW HIW TO TAKE THAT

Peter: HOW ELSE???

Miles: I DONT KNOW STOP CAPS LOCKING ME

Jess: Gwen you said “please adopt me” when we first met, babes. I figured you saw me like that, it’s fine

Gwen: taking deep breathes

Gwen: OKAY.

Gwen: OKAY COOL

Miles: ONGONG THIS IS COOL GUYS

Miles: SMHAHAHAHA HAHHAHA WE CLEARED IT UP

Noir: Peni, I will not object to you calling me “Dad” or any other variation

Peni: OK.

Noir: Are you three all okay now?

Miles: This was a very cool conversation 

Gwen: super super cool

Peni: YEP

Pav: I’m genuinely pleased with the outcome love you hobie ur my big brother

Hobie: Love you too Pav lmao

Peni: @Peter

Peter: Yeah kid?

Peni: fuck. you.

Miles: PENI U R STILL MY ENEMY RIGHT NOW

Gwen: MILES IM GONNA FIGHT YOU LIKE TODAY

Peni: im 14 u guys cant hit me (￢‿￢ )

Miles: Wanna bet?

Noir: Miles.

Peter: Miles, she’s, like a kid don’t hit a kid

Jess: Gwen, you either

Miles: They’re taking advantage of the power they know they have

Gwen: This is not fun

Peni: im enjoying this right now but i feel like the tide will change out of my favor very soon

Noir: You know, doll, it really wasn’t nice to drag Miles with you like that. You should apologize.

Peter: Miles apologize to Gwen

Jess: Honestly, Pavitr didn’t even care that much

Pav: (°▽°)

Peni: that happened fast

Peni: oh man

Miles: hhhhhh

Miles: sorry Gwen.

Peni: im sorry miles (◞‸◟)

Gwen: I’m gonna apologize to Pav anyway sorry

Pav: ITS ALL GOOD GWENDY!!

Gwen: Since when did you start

Gwen: Nvm

Hobie: I think Peter should apologize

Peter: WHATD I DO

Jess: You brought it all up first

Miles: YEAH

Peter: But im an adult

Hobie: Adults vote on it

Ham: i vote yay

Noir: I think he should apologize.

Jess: Agreed

Peter: DAMN???

Margo: Like how im the only one without a spider parent figure

Gwen: Idk you also get kinda cozy with Jess

Margo: STOP

Margo: Don’t make stuff up to drag me down

Jess: I can’t have TWO spider kids

Ham: And one of the way!!

Ham: But I dont even have ONE spider kid

Gwen: Ham you can be my dad im on shaky ground with my actual dad anyway

Ham: Oh neat!!

Ham: Alright Jess gets Margo

Miles: @Peter APOLOGIZE

Peni: YEAH

Peter: IM SORRY PENI I WAS BEING MEAN

Peni: (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

Peter: I started this whole thing

Peter: But i think the end result is fine!

Miles: I GUESS

Peni: it was AWKWARD

Noir: You kids made it more awkward than it had to be.

Gwen: debatable….

 

Actual Adults

Peter: You think they’re onto us about this chat?

Jess: Why would it matter

Hobie: Why am i here 

Ham: You’re one of us man

Noir: I think it went well, over all.

Peter: WHY DID YOU ALL VOTE FOR ME TO APOLGIZE AS IF WE DIDNT ALL PLAN THIS

Hobie: Hey. I didn’t

Hobie: i had no skin in this game

Jess: Peter you should’ve apologized anyway

Noir: I just wanted to make Peni happy, honestly.

Peter: IM NOT BEING UR FALLGUY ANYMORE

Ham: I’ll do it next time then calm down!

Peter: UGHH

 

SPIDERLINGS

Prowler: you’ve all been quiet

Pav: oh they’re all enemies right now

Miles: we think the adults have a sidechat too

Peni: and the adults all know the power they hold over us bc we all crave parental approval and see them all as parental figures

Gwen: Yeah no one here is having a good time

Pav: I’m fine actually I have great parents and me and hobie r brothers now!!

Prowler: im starting to think Pav is absorbing all the spider people’s luck or smth bc why is he always catching a break

Pav: Well my dimension almost completely fell apart so I think this is all just like good karma after that horrible awful event

Prowler: huh

Peni: I’ve had a lot of horrible awful event and gotta say no good karma

Gwen: Yeah idk about that one Pav I think the universe just likes you

Pav: yay for me either way ＼(≧▽≦)／

Notes:

Pav after being the only spider person who is functional happy and having a relatively good time

Chapter 4: Peter: Who gave Peni drugs.

Notes:

Underage smoking and some anxiety but like all pretty light and playful and the smoking was under strange conditions

Miles was excited for his hang out with Peni and Gwen. It had been a bit since just the three of them got to hang out, especially in his dimension, and they were having a good time.

They were just walking down the street, Peni excitedly chatting about something, when she must’ve seen something she liked, because she suddenly darted off.

“Peni!” Miles groaned as he chased after her. They quickly caught up to her standing at one of those coin meter things.

“Aww, I’ve never seen an authentic one of these look so new!” Peni held out her hand and SP//dr crawled along it, “Isn’t it cool? You think I could keep this?”

Before Miles had time to explain the logistics behind stealing a coin meter thing— would that parking spot be open or closed forever?— someone yelled out and smacked Peni’s hand.

“SP//dr!” Peni shrieked, dropping to the ground to look around for the guy. Miles looked up at the person who smacked her hand, seeing a guy who looked like a late teen, early 20s maybe? He was holding a drink, one you get from, like, a soda fountain— plastic lid and straw and stuff.

“The fuck you bringing a tarantula to the city for?” The guy yelled, reeling back in disgust. Miles realized that he was holding SP//dr, and Gwen gently tugged Peni up and pointing to him, “Seriously, this thing is nasty!”

“Just give it back, dude,” Miles moved in front of Peni and Gwen, “It’s a good… spider. It doesn’t bite.”

“Give him back!” Peni added, trying to push forward, but being gently held back by Gwen.

“You want this freaky little thing so bad?” The guy sneered before quickly drinking the rest of the drink and popping the lid off before dropping SP//dr in, and popping the lid back on, without the straw. “I need something first.”

“Hey! Knock it off!” Peni’s eyes widened and she pushed forward, shoving Gwen away before running straight up to the guy and reaching for the cup, “Give him back now!”

“Peni!” Miles tugged her back— she was plenty capable, but she couldn’t exactly win a fight with this guy without her tech or something, and Miles didn’t want to deal with a fight. “What do you want?”

“You know those dealers on 45th and 6th?” The guy looked at Miles, probably recognizing him from being around here. “They aren’t selling to me right now— a little problem. I ain’t got that much money, either, so you guys get me something, anything, from them, and I give this bug back.”

“Like drugs?” Gwen finally spoke, narrowing her eyes, “Seriously?”

“Yeah, fine, you just stay here, and we’ll be back in less than an hour!” Peni nodded fervently, “Promise you won’t hurt him.”

“Pinky promise kid,” He held out his pinky, probably sarcastically by the way his eyes widened a bit when Peni leaned forward and shook his pinky, but he didn’t say anything. “I’ll be right here until, say, 6:30, then I’m tossing this bug off a bridge and moving on.” Peni tensed at that, before grabbing Miles and Gwen and pulling them off.

“Peni, you know what he was talking about, right?” Miles checked when they were far away enough, “He wants us to buy drugs for him.”

“Miles, I will give him a bomb to make sure SP//dr is back,” Peni hissed out before wincing a back, “Okay, he said not a bomb. But I’m giving him drugs for SP//dr.” Miles remembered the psychic link and hummed a bit. He wondered if Peni could feel SP//dr’s fear right now, if the little guy was scared.

“Are drugs not a thing in your dimension? You’re being really casual about drug dealing,” Gwen emphasized, and Miles nodded along.

“Well, first of all, not everyone was raised by cops, so not everyone freaks out over crime committing like you two-”

“It’s not just crimes, it’s drugs!” Miles cut in with a whisper-yell. Peni gave an exasperated sigh.

“All your drugs have been legalized, secondly,” Peni continued, “What are we even gonna get him? Like, cocaine?”

“I was aiming for, like… a vape, at most?” Miles suggested with a shrug, eyes widening a bit, “Peni, cocaine is super illegal and very very expensive.”

“Ohhh, yeah, your guys’ drugs were harder to get back then… now?” Peni hummed and dug around in her pockets before handing Miles a 20 dollar bill, “This enough?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Honestly, Miles was expecting more like 50 for the vape, but he would cover the rest of it— Peni was probably already stressed about SP//dr, judging by the way her gaze was shooting around nervously.

“Here, just in case,” Gwen seemed more knowledgeable about the cost and pulled out a ten, handing it to Miles. He offered a thankful smile as they kept walking.

“I think we could’ve just jumped that guy and moved on,” Peni mumbled, crossing her arms.

“Peni, I live here,” Miles frowned and gestured around, “I don’t wanna be known as the kid who got into a fist fight over a spider.”

“SP//dr,” Peni emphasized with a frown, “He’s not just any spider!”

“No one else would know that,” Gwen added, and Peni gave a frustrated huff but gave up. Gwen and Miles glanced at each other when the girl’s shoulders dropped.

“Hey, Pen, we’re gonna get him back,” Miles set a hand on Peni’s shoulder, “Really. Don’t worry about it.”

“I promise we are taking this seriously,” Gwen nodded at her.

“I know, I’m just worried because SP//dr is worried, and then he gets worried because I am, and.. it’s a whole cycle,” Peni mumbled with a shrug, “Let’s just hurry up and get this done. This is the street, right?”

Miles looked around and nodded, spotting a guy standing in a corner. “You two stay here, they’re more likely to sell to me if I’m alone, and they’ve probably seen me around,” He glanced at the other two, who nodded and let him go over to the corner alone.

The conversation was awkward— the guy recognized him as the police chief’s kid and Miles had to awkward explain that the short girl over there was basically his little sister and some guy stole something of hers, and Miles didn’t want his dad to find out about this as much as the dealer didn’t. He eventually admonished and let him have it for 45, a pretty good deal, all things considered— at least Miles thought so. Not like he did drugs. This guy definitely could’ve been overcharging him, but he didn’t complain and darted back to the others.

“Okay, let’s go get SP//dr,” Miles sighed with a nod. Peni grinned up at him and Gwen offered a sympathetic shoulder pat, recognizing the fact Miles was probably out some money, and terrified of someone recognizing him and telling his dad.

They got back to the guy, and Peni seemed relieved, so Miles guessed that SP//dr was fine.

“Here,” Miles glanced around and shoved the vape into the guy’s hand. He grinned and took it from Miles, inspecting it.

“Give me-” Peni let out a frustrated growl as she grabbed for the cup, and the guy held it back, “Hey!”

“Man, we did what you asked,” Miles gave an exasperated sigh, starting to consider using his spider powers now.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just messing,” The guy chuckled and held the vape out to Peni, “Look, how about you take a hit and take some of that edge of, kid?”

“Whoa, dude, she’s fourteen,” Miles cut in, shaking his head, “She doesn’t vape.”

“Come on, dude, plenty of middle schoolers vape,” He laughed, but was starting to move to hand Peni the cup, “Take yo-”

Peni moved forward and grabbed the vape, and Miles was left too horrified to act for a couple seconds, then finally pushed her and pulled the vape away, shoving it back to the guy. “Peni!”

“Peni, breathe,” Gwen was patting her on the back, but Peni just breathed the smoke out, and Miles frantically waved it away.

“Without coughing?! Man,” The guy laughed and tossed the cup, Peni jumping up to catch it, “Your friend isn’t as innocent as you thought.” With that he left, and Miles turned to Peni, his eyes wide.

“What? I got SP//dr back,” Peni popped the cup open and smiled as he shot back onto her arm, “Aww, missed you, too!”

“Peni,” Gwen blinked at her, “You- your throat doesn’t hurt? Like, you feel fine?”

“Yeah,” Peni shrugged as she cooed at SP//dr, “What was that? Like, a vape? I think I heard about those in history class, but they weren’t very relevant.”

“Drugs, Peni,” Miles groaned, eyeing her nervously, “You feel fine? Really?”

“Your universes’ ‘drugs’ are, like, nothing to me,” Peni rolled her eyes and looked at them, “Again, my planet is mostly chemicals. I breathe that stuff in on the daily. It was just kinda sweet and metallicy.”

“Don’t- do not ever do that again,” Gwen grabbed Peni by the shoulders, “Like, ever. Don’t even touch drugs, even if they are lame to you.”

“I just wanted SP//dr back, guys, it’s fine,” Peni held her hands up, “But I promise I won’t do any of your universe’s lame drugs ever again.”

“Don’t do any drugs that aren’t legal in your universe, either,” Miles added, and Peni nodded.

“Yeah, sure,” She smiled and pet SP//dr, “What were we doing before all this.”

Gwen and Miles just exchanged tired looks.

 

SPIDERPPL!!

Peter: Who gave Peni drugs.

Miles: WHAT

Hobie: ??? What kind of drugs???

Peni: I TOLD YOU I DIDNT HAVE ANY

Jess: Miguel set up sensors to track if someone’s chemical levels are ever out of order

Jess: Peni came in with 2-3% more chemicals in her body than her previous peaks and it got flagged

Miles: That’s nothing

Gwen: Yeah and why do you guys think someone GAVE her drugs

Margo: Honestly guys her dimension has plenty of drugs around

Peni: I TOLD PETER

Peni: I had a really bad migraine so I took some medicine that is ALL

Peter: Uh huh…

Noir: Doll, if you did something, we won’t be mad.

Noir: Just tell us if you need help.

Peni: IM NOT AN ADDICT GUYS ITS THE EQUIVALENT OF LIKE TYLENOL

Ham: That only resonates with like half of us

Peni: omg okay it’s fine

Peni: no big deal (((＞＜)))

Jess: Guys it’s probably nothing

Peni: IT IS

Miles: I don’t think Peni would ever do that

Gwen: Let’s trust her

Pav: I mean Peni doesn’t seem like the type to do drugs or anything 

Hobie: her dimension DOES have more chemically advanced things than us

Peni: EXACTLY ALL RIGHT

Peter: I’ll drop it this time but don’t let it become a pattern

Peni: trust me I won’t

Peni: this conversation sucks

Noir: Good, I’m glad.

Noir: Try a nap next time you have a migraine.

Peni: yep

 

SPIDERLINGS

Miles: PENI NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

Peni: I SAID I WOULDNT

Pav: uh oh

Margo: Did she actually do drugs

Peni: I DIDNT KNOWWWW

Gwen: I ALMOST CRIED IF THAT WAS AN IN PERSON INTERROGATION I WOULDVE CRACKED

Peni: I DIDNT MEAN ITTTTTTT

Peni: I JUST WANTED SP//dr BACK

Pav: UHHHH

Miles: DONT SNITCH NO ONE

Prowler: WTF IS GOING ON

Miles: hhdjbs guhhhhhghgg ill explain it

Peni: (￢_￢;)

Notes:

Say no to drugs kids

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of SPIDERVERSE/╲/\╭[☉﹏☉]╮/\╱\