Chapter Text
___________
Buck pulls into the station parking lot, he parks in a spot no one ever usually takes. He‘s trying to avoid running into Eddie on a bad mood. He hurries in the station as it is raining. It has been since about 5 am this morning.
It’s his fifth week back, he’s so close to just giving up. But he could never. Not on his family. Not on the people that he fought so hard to get back to. He just wishes they’d understand. Why don’t they understand? Why can’t they see his side of things?
Because that’s all you see. Immediately comes to mind. Followed by, you’re exhausting. How could he forget. Oh, he just found out the answer to his question. Finally something he can get right.
Buck walks, no, drags himself, into the station, his head hung low and sulking. Trying to make himself small, unseen. It’s hard when you’re a six foot three tall man of muscle. But he tries anyway, making his way to the locker room.
Eddie is there. Of course he is. Buck thinks about trying, begging, for forgiveness that he doubts he’ll ever receive. He fucked up. He fucked up bad. Their friendship, no more than a friendship, whatever this was, is now torn apart. Because of him. All because of him and his stupid wants.
Eddie avoids eye contact in any way as Buck moves his head and looks towards him. Buck sighs lightly, opening his locker and putting his duffel bag inside, looking straight again.
He looks down for a second, then looks back up with a hand on the locker beside his as Eddie is ready to close his own locker about to leave. He breathes in just before saying, “Eddie I ju—“
He is abruptly interrupted by the slamming of Eddie’s locker, causing him to flinch and look down. He sighs again as Eddie walks fast as possible out of the locker rooms. He clenches his jaw, and lightly sets his fist on his locker.
Buck changes quickly and heads up the stairs of the station. He was going to the fridge, intending to grab an apple, but instead got interrupted by the bell and Bobby barking orders.
“Buckley! I want you mopping these floors and cleaning the gym while we’re gone,” Bobby yells, pointing towards Buck without looking. Buck sighs closing his eyes as well as the fridge.
Don’t get frustrated. Don’t get caught slacking. Don’t fuck up. Again.
“And clean the kitchen and dining room too!” Bobby yells as the trucks pull out, the bay doors closing loudly in the silence of the station.
So he does. Buck first starts in the kitchen. Grabbing the cleaning supplies needed. He wipes down the counters, throws unneeded or outdated items away, and does the dishes, by hand mind you. He takes the cleaning supplies to the dining table, wiping it down and pushing the interrupted chairs back in place.
He finishes in nearly 20 minutes. Putting the supplies away he grabs a bucket and fills it with water, then grabs a mop. He then heads downstairs with the two. The bucket is heavy, straining his arm. His leg cramps up and throbs but he can’t stop mid clean. What if the team comes back to his half assed job? What will Bobby say?
Buck pushes through. He sets the bucket down at the bottom step and takes a second. Precious seconds, Buck reminds himself. He grabs the mop, shoving it into the bucket and gets to work.
Just as he finally finishes the floor, the truck rolls in. Buck sighs, taking the less heavy bucket back up the stairs. Buck drains the water and sets the mop into the bucket which he placed back into the storage cabinet.
By the visible soot and noticeably strong smell of burnt wood and rubber. Buck takes the hint that it must have been a house fire. They probably had to rescue someone stuck inside considering the soot is the worst on Eddie’s turnout. They all hit the showers as Buck once again grabs cleaning supplies and heads downstairs to the gym.
Buck is about to finish the gym as Bobby is the first to get out of the shower. “Buckley!” Bobby shouts as soon as he sees him. Buck jumps at the sudden change in volume as his captains voice echos loudly through the station. He looks up as Bobby continues, “Did you finish everything?”
Buck hesitates before replying, “Uh- I did everything else, Captain. I just have to finish the gym, then yes.”
“Then hurry it up! We might want to use it.” Bobby sighed. Not mentioning the fact that Buck may want to use it. Buck reminds himself, we , as in the team. Excluding him.
Buck nods, even though Bobby had already turned away paying him no mind. He finishes the gym and puts the supplies away, not knowing what more to do with himself.
This is how things have been since he came back. He hates it. He didn’t want this. It’s just a reminder coming to bite him back in the ass of his worst mistake. Maybe not the worst, maybe the worst was when he thought twice about taking those pills back in college.
All Buck wanted was family. What more do people need from him? Why can’t he have his family? Why is it so hard to just love him? Why do people always leave?
Buck wonders. He wonders all day and night. He wonders if he did something differently maybe this wouldn’t happen. Maybe if he tried to look for a bomb, to be more cautious. Maybe if he listened to Bobby? Maybe if he didn’t file the lawsuit? Or maybe if he just never became a firefighter. Maybe it would be different. Maybe someone would love him, but does he deserve it?
He’s tried numerous times to make it up to the team. He’s brought in cookies, cake, he’s made them breakfast. To which they all throw away. At first Hen and Chim were decent, but then they eventually fell in line with Bobby and Eddie.
Buck has tried so hard. Maybe he just has to try harder. With that, Buck walks up to the loft. Everyone is by now eating lunch. It’s been a few hours since the day started. He walks up to the table, staying a good 8 feet away, feeling awkward as hell. Everyone is now watching him with confused and annoyed looks. Eddie isn’t looking at him at all.
Buck looks down and looks back up before asking, “Can you just please tell me what I need to do to help you to forgive me?”
Bobby was going to say something before Eddie cut him off, “Just stop. We can’t forgive you yet. I can’t forgive you yet. Clearly you don’t understand what you did. You keep coming in here, asking for forgiveness, that we so clearly aren’t going to give you anytime soon! Why do you even bother trying? Dios, Evan, just- just stop. Just get out of my life! ”
You’re exhausting.
You’re exhausting.
You’re exhausting.
He couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe? God, why does his chest hurt? He feels a pit in his stomach. It hurts. Why does everything hurt? He feels his heart drop. Does Eddie really feel this way? Buck tries to say something, instead, it ends up coming out as a weak, pathetic, sob.
He doesn’t know how he got himself to run downstairs. Or how he even made it to the bathroom. He threw up, he threw up bile. He hasn’t eaten today, he wonders if the team even noticed how he never eats while at the station. But why would they?
It burns, his throat burns and his eyes burn. He is sobbing, he just can’t get anything right. Why can’t he get anything right? Everything is his fault. Eddie is right, he needs to stop. He should quit. His mouth feels like cotton. He can’t breathe and his stomach hurts. Why does everything hurt? Why won’t it stop hurting?
___________
“Eddie, that was quite harsh.” Chim says.
Eddie sighs as he thinks about what he had just said. He nods, ashamed. He can’t blame it all on Buck, he can’t take it out on him. He has a bad habit of taking his anger out on others. He really should try to apologize. He wouldn’t blame Buck if he decided not to forgive him.
“Yeah.” Eddie agrees. “I- fuck. I fucked up. That was way too harsh. Damn. I need to apologize.”
“We all do Eddie.” Bobby remarks.
“You- you were just angry.” Hen tries.
That’s not an excuse. How can that be an excuse? ‘Just angry’? No. Buck doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.
Everyone agrees. They will do whatever it takes to make it up to Buck. They agree that they went overboard. Sure what he did was not the best thing to do, but then again he is human and he makes mistakes.
___________
After what feels like 7 years, but is really 7 hours, Buck’s shift finally ends. It is still down pouring. The roads are slick and it’s hard to see, but Buck will manage.
___________
He walks straight to his bed after his shift. Setting his duffel down and changing. He lays down, almost immediately falling asleep. The exhaustion of just trying to make himself right pulling him into a deep sleep.
He just has to try harder.
___________
The next day comes around slow. So slow. But it does. He won’t let anyone interrupt him and he’ll get his point through. He will make them understand.
It’s still pouring rain and his jeep is quite outdated so it doesn’t have four wheel drive. His windshield wipers look as if they might snap, like a twig, within the next second with just a small gust of wind. Just with his luck, as he hears thunder pound in his ears, like the beginning of a very cliche horror movie, the street lights happen to go out. Leaving the streets in pitch black.
He seriously can’t see anything. He’s trying to drive slow but also hurry so he’s not late. How does that make sense? He is pulling up to an intersection when the power seemingly goes back on. His side shows green. Little does he know, so does everyone else’s.
Buck presses the gas to move forward just as another car comes flying towards him from the right. All he hears is the screeching of rubber on the streets as he feels the car slam into the passenger side of his jeep. He hears the crunching of metal when another car slams into the back shoving his car forward, his body jerking with the sudden movement. He feels a sudden sharp pain in his chest and his stomach. It gets hard to breathe and he forgets where he is.
It all happens so fast, cars slamming into his jeep and cars slamming into other cars. Before he knows it, it’s a multiple vehicle collision. A pile up. A bad pile up.
___________
Eddie walks in the station quite early. It’s only him and Bobby.
“Hey, cap.”
Bobby turns his head around from the skillet on the stove filled with mushrooms, eggs, cheese, etc. “Oh, hi Eddie.”
“Um, no one’s here yet?” Eddie questions. He’s never quite had time just him and Bobby.
“Well Hen is, she’s somewhere downstairs.” Bobby replies.
“Ah.”
“Hey, Eddie? Mind giving me a hand?” Bobby questions, hinting to the omelette.
“Uh. Yeah sure.” Eddie feels like he’s sort of taking Buck’s place. This is Buck and Bobby’s thing. They did this together. Not Eddie and Bobby.
“Just so you know, I’m not that great in the kitchen. Just ask Chris.”
Bobby laughs at that. “Well I trust you, don’t worry”
A few minutes pass and Chim walks up to the loft next to Hen, chatting.
“Oh really!?” Is heard through the loft, followed by a slap on a leg and a laugh. “Sure.”
Eddie turns to see Hen leaning over with her hands on her thighs laughing. He smiles at the sight, but he thinks of Buck, and how he should be here laughing too. It’s their fault.
Bobby finishes the omelette, calling to Hen and Chim. “Breakfast.”
Just as Bobby sets the plates down on the table Hen and Chim burst out laughing.
“What is so funny?” Bobby asks, smirking.
“Okay, okay,” Hen starts, “so, you remember the guy at the gas station? Who got stuck on one of the cleaning parts?”
“Uh,” Bobby thinks, looking up as if the ceiling will give him answers, before smiling and instantly remembering and snapping his fingers. “Oh yes! Why?”
“He’s back at it again!”
“He didn’t get fired?” Bobby asks, genuinely shocked.
“I guess not.” Hen shrugs.
Eddie is so confused, he doesn’t remember this. He should especially if it was this funny.
Hen shows Bobby and Eddie a video. “Oh yeah, Eddie this was before you came.” Hen said. Eddie nodded watching the video. It, this time, was of the guy being continuously blown to the floor from the car washing dryers.
Bobby laughs at the video while Eddie sits there confused. “I don’t get why it’s so funny. He fell.” It’s sounded more like a question than a statement.
“Eddie you just don’t know how to laugh unless you’re with Chris.” Or Buck. His brain supplies to Chim’s comment. Eddie sighs. Where is Buck anyway?
“Hey, Buck isn’t here yet?” Eddie questions.
Hen stops as she realizes, looking around. “Um, I guess not.” She frowns slightly, missing that day when she heard Bobby’s laugh sounding so pure. Even now it doesn’t sound as joy filled as it did then. She also misses the kid she thought of like a younger brother. She really has to make it up to him.
“He’s late. How can he be late? Especially on a day like this?” Bobby remarks. “Well, let’s eat while we can.”
As soon as everyone starts eating the bell rings. “I guess it’ll have to wait,” Bobby sighs, taking their plates and quickly putting them in the fridge.
Bobby and Eddie hurry to the rig after grabbing their turnouts while Hen and Chim grab their turnouts and head to the ambulance.
Bobby starts over his headset, “This is a big one, multiple vehicle collision. It’s a very large pileup.”
They pull up to the accident. Dispatch was not lying, it is a huge pileup. LAPD is already on scene handling traffic and crown control, Bobby immediately recognizes a very familiar cop cruiser.
Eddie steps put of the truck after Bobby. Hen and Chim make their way towards Bobby looking for orders.
“We are a man short, Díaz, Wilson, check on people in vehicles, call us over if tools are needed to get them out. If not help them however you can. Han, check on bystanders anyone who appears to be injured and aren’t in any vehicles. The 122 will be pulling up to help. So go now!”
Eddie and Hen hurry to a vehicle closest to them, they don’t seem too injured, they must have pushed on the breaks at the right time. Their car is shoved into the back of a grey Sedan.
They are there for already 30 minutes. Almost to the complete center. Eddie stops for a second, looking around. He nearly has a heart attack when he spots a grey jeep. It can’t be. He tries to see the license plate, but the jeep is completely surrounded. It’s in the middle of all this caos.
Eddie turns around sprinting to Bobby. “Cap! Cap!” Tears from his throat as he screams for Bobby, his voice scratchy. He’s looking back and running, he looks forwards as he makes it to where Bobby is standing.
“Cap- Bobby- I- I think—“ Eddie tries through ragged breaths, trying to compose himself. He squints against the sun as he breaths in deep rapidly looking back and to Bobby again.
“Woah, woah. Okay slow down. What’s going on Eddie? Hm? Talk to me what happened?” Bobby places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder in attempt to ground him.
“I th- I think it- that,” Eddie sighs, “Fuck. I think that’s Buck’s jeep.” Eddie wheezes as he turns to point in the middle of all the caos surrounding the streets.
Bobby’s eyes go wide. He’s right, Eddie is right. It makes sense. The jeep seems like it was on its way to the firehouse even. This is bad, this really bad.
“Bobby- Bobby the- the blood thinners,” Eddie cries out.
“I know,” Bobby nods, “I know.”
Bobby leans into his radio, “Han, Wilson, report to the rig now. I repeat report to the rig it is urgent.” Eddie can hear Bobby’s voice crack through the radio on his shoulder. He turns around to see Chimney jogging towards them. Hen is currently with someone who seems to not be too injured.
Chim is about halfway when an explosion is heard. Eddie whips his head around staring in horror at the sight. A propane tank truck flipped on its side has now blown up, having caught on fire. Things just got a whole of a hell lot worse.
___________
As Buck comes to, it hit him all at once. He can hear everything and nothing all at the same time. What the hell happened? Where is he? Is it still raining? Yes.
Buck lifted his head off of the window hearing the glass break and fall off. Just the one small movement sent aches throughout his entire body. He finally opens his eyes. When had he closed them? He hears screaming and sirens, and he can see the flash of red and blue lights filling the streets.
His abdomen was wet. Why was it wet? He winced as he placed a hand on his stomach. He pulled back, squinting, trying to make out whatever the hell was on his hand. Blood. He was bleeding? Why? What happened? Where is he? What is that insanely loud blaring noise that he can’t seem to rid. Oh sirens, right. Wait, why? Why can’t he think straight? Why can’t he remember anything?
Buck tries to move. Unable to do so, he panicked. His breath hitched as he tried to push himself up, causing him more pain. He winced, a pain filled groan escaping his lips.
He looked around, his jeep was absolutely crushed. What the hell? It all came back to him, it hit him like a fat truck. He’d hen in an accident. He was on his way to work, shit Bobby would be so angry with him. Maybe he’d understand? He moved his hand, it felt like a hundred bricks were laid on top of it. He set it on the handle of his jeep and pulled then pushed trying to open the door to no avail. He takes in a sharp breath of air at the shiver sent through his body at the motion. Only causing him to hack up a cough.
Something wet falls on his lips. He takes two fingers to his mouth and pulls back showing blood. Shit. External and internal bleeding? Not good.
Buck tries to move again, he can’t. He looks down to his legs. Shit again . He’s pinned. His bad leg is pinned. What the fuck? This year has got to be his least favorite. The universe just has it out for him. Buck can feel something he assumes is blood trickling down the left side of his face. His head hurts like hell.
He hears a second —what he thinks is— fire truck pull up. Just as he looks to his right, he not only hears but feels the loud explosion burst into the already chaotic mess. He could feel his jeep tremble from the shock of the explosion. That sends a wave of pain through his sore and aching body, causing him to see black spots accompanied by darkness.
___________
The fire is rapidly spreading to multiple cars, screams are heard as well as more explosions. Hen and Chim are now both at the rig looking confused.
“I’m making this quick as possible. That is most likely Buck in that jeep. I need you all to handle this situation like you would any. By the looks of it he needs help, and fast. So go! All of you go, go!”Bobby barks out orders to the people he trusts most to save someone he thinks of like a son. Someone who he mistreated so terribly, and someone who deserves so much better. He has to make it up to him. He will.
With Eddie fully sprinting, he makes it there first. He feels bad about having to leave people crying out for help behind, but to be honest, Buck matters more.
He quickly moves to the door, his heart sinking to his feet and shattering at the sight. “Buck! Buck, can you hear me?” Eddie nearly shouts. He tries his best to keep composed, it’s difficult when it’s Buck. When it’s the man he felt more than a friendship with. With the man he could tell anything to. But to leave it on this note? Ignoring the other, angry with the other? He can’t have it this way.
He reaches his hand in, placing two fingers under Bucks jaw, his pulse point. It’s there, and it’s strong. Maybe too strong. Eddie looks up, noticing Hen and Chim are both now here. But also noticing the 122 putting out the fire.
“Buck! Buck, c’mon. Wake up!” Eddie taps Buck’s face, and when that doesn’t work he tries the sternal rub. That causes Buck to stir and crack open his eyes.
“There are those pretty blue’s,” Hen smiles softly. “Can I see your hand, hun? I just need to start a line,”Hen shows the IV in hand, noting that she needs to place it on him.
Buck slowly lifts his arm, Hen takes it gently, being careful of the glass surrounding. She places the IV in, noticing how Buck winces at the small pinch.
“Eddie, hold this?”
Eddie nods, taking the bag and holding it up.
Hen takes her stethoscope and presses it to Bucks chest. “Shallow, short, and ragged breaths, heartbeat is slowing.” Hen takes the stethoscope off, handing it to Chim who places it in the med bag. She takes a look around the jeep, the door is completely crushed closed. They need the jaws. “We need the—“
“Jaws. On it!” Eddie interrupts, sprinting to the truck to grab the jaws.
Chim takes hold of the IV bag instead. “Hey, Buckaroo. We’re gonna get’cha out’a here.”
“Hurts..” Buck mumbles, he takes in a gasp of air. The impact has to have fucked with his lungs somehow. Maybe he was jerked forward and hit the steering wheel.
“I know, we’re doing what we can right now.” Hen reassures, meeting Buck’s eyes. They seem foggy, like he’s not really there. With them.
Hen looks further in the Jeep, noting the protruding glass in Buck’s upper abdomen. Possibly pierced a lung. “Chim, gauze pads.”
Chimney looks up, concerned, but immediately grabs the gauze when Hen turns to look at him. Hen quickly tears open the gauze and tries her best to stuff them around the glass. Buck shudders and flinches at that, attempting to pull away, only to no avail.
“Ah- no stop that, Buckaroo. You know you can’t be moving. I’m sorry, I know it hurts, but please stay still.”
Buck wheezes, he nods. “Trying.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
Eddie comes back in an instant with the jaws. Bobby now making his way over.
Eddie looks at Buck and at the jaws a couple of times while he’s getting them ready. “Hey, Buck, I’m getting ready to use these jaws, okay? You might feel a vibration, but it’s okay.”
Buck nods, he just wants to go home.
Eddie lifts the jaws, placing it in a crack where the door overlaps the back passenger door. He switches it on. He finishes the door, practically peeling it back when it’s loose enough.
Eddie shudders at the sight. There’s so much blood, too much blood. And it’s Bucks blood. There’s a huge piece of glass trying to make its way right through Buck’s lung. Shit. He thinks.
Bobby clenches his jaw, barking orders, “You guys know what to do. Get him out, get him stable, and get him to the hospital!”
Eddie nods along with Hen. Eddie leans in the car to take note of Bucks legs. “Buck can you move your legs?”
“I— I c’n f-feel ’m, but I— c’nt m’ve ‘m.” Buck slurs through ragged breaths.
“Okay. That’s good you can feel them.” Eddie starts, he looks again. He can’t even see his feet from how the car is crushed. “Buck, can you tell me everything that hurts?”
“M’ head, leg, m— m’ st’m’ch, ‘nd m’— ch’st.” Buck tries. He hopes they understand, why is it so hard to speak? And why does it hurt so much just to breathe. Why does he keep having to pause to take such a small breath in? It’s getting annoying.
“Your chest? How come.” Eddie grew more concerned at the mention of Buck’s chest.
Buck nods. He just said that his chest hurt why did Eddie ask again? “M- brea— breathing.”
Eddie nods, “okay, we’re gonna get you out of here.”
“Ch’m s’id th’t.”
“His slurring is getting worse,” Hen whispered.
“At least he’s coherent and remembers what I said.”
As time goes by, they are able to free Buck’s leg and get him on a back board. His pained yelps and shouts that fill the streets as they have to maneuver his leg to free him, along with blood pouring out of his abdomen. The glass shifted in the maneuver.
“Okay, ready? One, two, lift!” Eddie shouts and he and Chimney lift Buck up on the backboard and walk him to the gurney. Hen takes some quick vitals, “He needs a hospital, now. We have to go.”
Eddie heart sinks further, if that’s even possible, at the sight of Buck’s head lolling to the left and right as they push him to the ambulance.
They get him in and Hen immediately starts a new line. She also sets up the EKG machine and puts an oxygen mask on Buck’s face. “He's bradycardic. Pupils uneven. GCS 10 and falling. Let's move!”
Bobby closes the ambulance doors as Chim hurries to the drivers seat. “We ready?” Chim asks.
“Did I not just say, ‘let’s move’? Yes! Go!”
Chim immediately turns around at that, flipping on the lights and sirens. He maneuvers around this huge mess until they’re on the road to the hospital.
“Dispatch, this is ambulance 118.” Chim starts.
“Go ahead, 118.”
“We are in route to the hospital with a critical patient.”
“Copy.”
Hen clips away Buck’s shirt, revealing dark purple bruising. She carefully, yet quickly, peels away his shirt from around the glass.
Eddie stuffs more gauze around the piece of glass in Buck’s abdomen, before he sets the IV bag in a clip on the ambulance.
“He definitely has internal bleeding at that. Dammit.” Hen remarks.
Buck lifts his head and groans when Eddie applies more pressure to his wound. He sucks a shallow breath in, causing him to cough in the mask, blood squirting in it.
Hen shared a concerned expression with Eddie across from Buck. “Hey, hey it’s okay. Stay still. I really need you to stay still.” Eddie tries. He tries to reassure Buck.
“BP dropping,” as if on cue, Buck begins to lose consciousness, “No, no, no. None of that. Come on Buck, you know the drill. Stay awake for me.”
Buck nods. “‘M try’n. ‘S h’rd.”
“I know.” Hen says, sharing a second glance with Eddie. “He’s losing too much blood.”
Buck tries, he really does. He tries so hard, but he can barely believe if this is even happening or if he’ll wake up in the car. This being some sick illusion. He thought they hated him? Why would they try and save him now?
“Eds?”
“Right here, Buck.” Eddie reassures, placing his hand in Buck’s. Damn blood thinners.
“Th’t y’ll h’t’d me.”
Eddie’s heart shatters. If it’s not disintegrated by now, it’s definitely in a million pieces and on its way there. “No, no, no. We don’t hate you, Buck. It was a stupid mistake. I should never have said what I said or did what I did. I’m so sorry, Buck.”
“‘M s’rry two Eds.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“ ‘m ‘onna m’ss you. M’ss evry’ne.”
“Buck, no.” His heart can’t take it. He can’t do this. Not this.
“‘M sorry. ‘M sorry H’n. L’ve you ‘ll.” Buck slurs. Maybe he means more than just an ‘I love you’ to Eddie, but he doesn’t have to know that.
“Just hang on, Buck,”Eddie feels a pain in his chest. He can’t bear it. He can’t. Buck can’t go like this. “We’re almost there, Buck. Come on in just a little longer. You can fight, you can do it.”
“‘M s’rry. L’ve you. L’ve Chr’s. L’ve every’ne. D’n f’rg’t ‘bout me.”
“I could never.” Eddie places a hand on Buck’s cheek. He almost sobs when Buck pushes his head further into the warmth of his hand.
“Buck, I need you stay awake for me. We’re almost there.” Hen worriedly tries to keep Buck awake. His injuries may just be too severe. She prays that they get to the hospital in time.
“‘M s’rry.” Right then and there, he looses consciousness.
Hen panics as soon as Buck’s head lolls to the right, his mouth open yet his chest not rising nor falling.
“He’s flatlining. Chim! Drive faster!”
Chim looks back for a split second. “There’s damn traffic!” Chim angrily honks the horn and a few people drive onto sidewalks or curbs to get out of the way. “We’re nearly a minute out if these stubborn cars would let up and move the hell out the way!” He once again honks the horn aggressively, as if getting angry will help.
Eddie is too lost in thought to think. Buck’s hand has gone cold to the touch. He’s being talked to, but he doesn’t know what exactly is being said. He finally snaps out of it when a tap on his face is introduced.
He finally notices the high pitched blaring sound of the EKG machine shouting out Buck’s current physical state.
“Hen?” Eddie croaks out.
“Little help here?” Hen hints to the manual oxygen bag, she has been clearly trying to hand him, as she has begun two person CPR.
Hen has lapped compressions about 6 times now. (Meaning she’s gone through 30, 6 times)
“Hen, switch.” Eddie nods.
Hen takes the oxygen mask and moves off of the gurney to let Eddie take over. She presses the bag as Eddie moves his legs to straddle over Buck, careful of his abdomen, begging CPR once again.
After another few rounds of compressions that lead to no avail, Hen grabs the Defibrillator and messily and quickly —yet correctly— slaps on the pads.
She starts up the machine yelling, “Charging!” As Eddie lifts his hands up to pause CPR.
“Clear!”
Eddie watches as Buck's chest convulses up with the first shock and collapses back on the gurney, eyes still closed and face slack. The long line on the EKG simply seeming to go on forever. Acting as if there will never be rift, in which the straight line bumps up twice and down one and comes to a steady beat, at that.
Eddie immediately starts CPR again until Hen yells, "Again!"
Eddie begs for Buck to wake up. "Clear!"
Buck's chest lifts up with a force, and it falls back down, lifeless.
The blaring sound decides not to change. Buck's heart doesn't beat.
Eddie himself takes one step closer to dying.
"Pushing adrenaline." Hen informs.
Hen sighs. Buck’s head lolls, showing no life. Is this really it? Is this how he dies? It can’t be. He survives a god forsaken tsunami, just to die from a car? Really?
Eddie hasn’t stopped compressions. Buck is still bleeding through the bandages, and who knows where else inside.
“Call it.” She finally says.
Eddie snaps his head to his right. “What?” He sounds broken.
“I’m calling it, Eddie. He’s gone.”
Chim listening in horror, tears streaming down his face. What the hell? Is all he can think.
“10:56 a.m.” Hen nearly whispers. “Eddie. Come on. It’s done. You’re done.”
“Wh— no I- what!? What— no! How can you just give up on him so easily? He’s not- he- he’s— no I just have to- I-“
“Eddie! Eddie, stop. There’s nothing more we can do. We have no clue how bad his injuries are inside, and you might just be making them worse. He’s cold to the touch and his lips are blue. He’s gone Eddie. He’s gone.”
___________
They arrive at the hospital. Eddie sat on the bench in the ambulance, his head in his hands, sobbing.
Chim can’t bring himself to look back or open the door when Bobby comes up to the drivers side, his hands raised in question. Chim just gives him a look. One of dispare, of hurt, of loss.
Bobby looks concerned at that. He immediately darts to the ambulance doors, swinging them open. Nothing could ever prepare him for what he sees. Buck. His lifeless body on the gurney, a blanket brought just to his neck, only his head visible. His hand, although, stretched out as Bobby soon realizes Eddie is who occupies it.
“What happened?” Bobby dares to ask. Is it not clear?
“10:56 a.m.” Hen supplies.
Bobby’s heart shatters. It can’t be. How? Why like this? It shouldn’t be after such a terrible time. He was supposed to apologize. His chest feels heavy, it’s hard to breathe. Like bricks are continuously being stacked on top of his chest. One after the other.
They were supposed to be “good” now. It’s too soon. No. No. This- this is all just a bad dream. It’s not real. Not real. Not real. Not real. Not real—
“Bobby!” Hen shouts. Seemingly not for the first time. If how she sounds and looks so concerned is anything to go by.
Bobby’s eyes are wide. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Bobby, come on.” Hen is next to him now. Since when did she come next to him. Eddie is gone too. Where did he go? Why did he leave? Wait, where’s Buck?
“Buck.” Bobby whispers.
“I know,” Hen rubs Bobby’s back letting her hand rest on his tense bicep. “I know, Bobby.”
His eyes rimmed red. He can’t see. Everything is blurry and—“Buck.” Bobby sobs out. His knees weak and his legs failing to keep him standing.
Hen follows him to the ground. “I’m sorry, Bobby. Im so sorry.” Hen cries with him.
They sit, on the hot pavement, tears spilling out of their eyes over someone they never thought they could live without. Someone they wonder, how could they have not known him sooner. Someone they all regret being so harsh to. All? Chim is here, when did Chim get here?
Oh well. All that matters now is Buck. Buck . Where’s Buck? Oh. How could he forget. He’s gone. Buck is gone. His son is gone. He lost his only son. Again.