Work Text:
- Scene 1 Snippet, Dialog Only -
Dean: so ah i take it you didn't think that was funny
Cas: was it obvious?
Dean: not at first. i thought maybe you OUCH! just wanted to OW! i though you were just checking out the brand of my Ohfuck! jeans or something
Cas: and now?
Dean: now i really really OW! i get it i swear cas i get it you can stop
Cas: i don't think you've learned your lesson. when the babysitter misbehaved, the pizzaman kept slapping her rear until she said she was sorry
Dean: okay okay i'm sorry! stop!
Cas: that doesn't sound like a sincere apology
Dean: how the fuck would you know what a sincere apology sounds like when you still don't even understand that you were watching p0rn?!
Cas: ...
Dean: ...
Cas: ... 😡
Dean: ... 😊
Cas: you're not sorry yet.
Dean: I SWEAR I'M OW SORRY STOP OUCH FUCK STOP!!
Sam: i wanted a separate room but no we didn't have enough money for that but it's no problem we'll just share a room no big deal it's not weird at all 🙄
- Scene 2 -
Dean scowls at him. "A what now?"
Cas patiently repeats himself. "Maintenance spankings."
"I don't know what the fuck that means but you do realize I'm an adult, right?" Dean asks. "I don't know what maintenance has to do with it, but I definitely heard spanking in there."
Sam tries very hard to blend into the shitty cowboy wallpaper like he isn't eating his sandwich just a few feet away from a conversation that he really didn't want to hear.
"Children shouldn't be spanked, Dean," Castiel says with all the seriousness he thinks the statement deserves.
Dean lets out a frustrated huff. "Fine. Kid, adult, whatever," he says, glancing in Sam's direction and lowering his voice. "That thing you did a few days ago was just a one-off thing. I fucked up, and I said I was sorry."
"But you've been unsure of your standing with me ever since, and for that I apologize. I didn't realize it would be taken as a blow to your character instead of punishment for dangerous behavior."
Dean blinks at him. "Fuck you."
Cas takes a step toward Dean, and Dean freezes, eyes widening. "If you need it, I don't mind repeating myself."
Dean shakes his head. "No. I'm good."
Cas nods. "As I said, the spanking you received a few days ago was for your behavior. A maintenance spanking, on the other hand, isn't meant to be a punishment, but rather a reminder to behave and to assist in balancing you. It can also be a stress relief."
"But I don't get a choice in it? You just- I don't want that!" he says, taking a step back.
Cas tilts his head a bit. "Perhaps you've forgotten that I can see every part of you. I know everything about you."
Sam's had enough, so he stands up and tosses his sandwich wrapper into the trash can near the bathroom before brushing by Dean. "Don't lie to the angel, dude."
Dean tries to grab his brother, but he misses. "What the fuck does that mean?"
Sam opens the door to the room, his back to Dean. "You really think he doesn't know how many times you went back to see The Chief? Even I know you weren't going there for sex, and I don't have any super angel powers."
Dean's still sputtering when Sam closes the door. He looks across the room at Cas, wishing his cheeks weren't on fire. "Okay so I lied about knowing what maintenance spankings were but that doesn't mean I want you to start doing that shit!"
Cas just stares at him. The longer Cas stares, the more Dean squirms until he just can't do it anymore.
Dean angrily pulls his jacket off, balls it up, and throws it down onto the bed. "Fine, that was a lie too, but this doesn't mean I like it," he growls as he unbuckles his belt.
"Thank you for being honest about that, Dean," Cas says as he sits down on the end of the bed. "You may not like it, but you enjoy the benefits, and I'm happy to help you."
"Fuckin' perv," Dean says under his breath as he shoves his jeans down, leaving his boxers up, and settles himself over Cas' lap. "Hey!" he yelps as Cas pulls the boxers down under the curve of his ass.
"Settle," Cas says, his left hand warm and firm at the middle of Dean's back. "You're over my lap because I care about you and about what happens to you."
Dean glares at the fugly motel room carpet, his vision blurring even though Cas hasn't hit him yet. The words are familiar. The ritual of it all so similar to what The Chief did for him that it crashes through a few of the walls Dean was sure Cas wouldn't be able to get through already.
The Chief always left him in tears even if the spanking itself wasn't severe. Dean wonders if Cas can tell exactly what he needs. If he can get him where The Chief got him to in what seemed like an effortless way.
He hates the vulnerability. The feeling of being so open to being hurt in more than one way. Hates the fact that he wants it. That it makes him feel more grounded, just like Cas said. Just like The Chief promised that first time.
Cas runs his right hand over Dean's ass for a moment before starting, and Dean does his best to stay quiet. Maybe Cas knows that Dean cried every fucking time, but that doesn't mean he's going to give Cas the satisfaction of bawling his eyes out after one or two smacks.
His ass is warming up, and it stings enough that he's squirming on Cas' lap. His breathing is becoming more and more shallow. His vision blurring as he fights the tears that want to come.
"There are people who care about you," Cas says.
Dean grits his teeth. He wants to tell Cas to shut the fuck up and just beat his ass already, if that's what the stupid fucking angel wants, but he thinks he might not be able to keep his emotions in check if he starts talking, so he bites his tongue instead.
"I care about you," Cas says, his voice soft and gentle in the worst ways because it fucking hurts to hear it. "I love you, Dean."
Cas has said it before. Dean knows the angel cares about them. Loves them. Would kill and die for them. He's done it before and he'll do it again. But Dean doesn't know why it feels like a punch to the gut.
The pain in his ass is building with each smack, and he finds it impossible to stay still, boots catching on the carpet as he fights the urge to get away. To hit back. To kick Cas' ass even though he wouldn't win.
The words swirl in his head over and over again. The tone of Cas' voice, like he really means it, makes the words hurt even more. They're good, don't get him wrong, but they fucking hurt because he wants to think that it doesn't matter what happens to him as long as he makes things right.
But it's not true. Not when he's scaring and hurting and breaking the hearts of those around him who care.
He sniffles and wipes his eyes with the back of his right hand, but the tears are coming too quickly, and he lets out a soft sob that makes him feel so fucking small and wrong and awful.
"You're doing so well, Dean."
The wrong. Awful. The small. It all scrunches inside him and twists and turns and implodes, and he's crying. He's fucking sobbing because it's been too long since anyone's done this for him. It's like everything since then was just waiting below the hard surface he shows the world.
When it reaches its limit and the scrunched up ball of wrongawfulbad implodes, he feels a warmth wash over him. A calmness. And yeah, a stupid fucking grounding that feels physical somehow. Like he's been calibrated properly, and he doesn't even feel awkward balancing on Cas' lap anymore.
Because Cas isn't telling him to suck it up. To quit being such a big baby. To learn how to shove it down and ignore and be a fucking man.
Cas is comforting him. He's telling him how strong he is. How proud Cas is of him. How much he's loved. How he's done so much good for so many people, and it doesn't matter if some of it didn't work out because Dean did it with good intentions.
And that the shit he fucked up because he wasn't doing it with good intentions -- that shit can just fuck off and die because everybody does stupid shit now and then. Everybody fucks up.
Okay, so maybe Cas doesn't say it that way, but it's what Dean hears, and he believes it.
Cas' hands feel warm and strong on him as he lets Dean finish getting everything out. Doesn't rush him or hurry him off his lap. He just waits him out, touching him like he's someone loved. Someone Cas cares about.
Dean expects Cas to leave him alone after it's done. Why do anything else? He got his point across and gave Dean the catharsis he needed
But once Dean fixes his clothes and sits down on the bed with a wince, Cas wraps his right arm around Dean's shoulders and just sits with him.
Dean doesn't push him away. Doesn't tell him to fuck off so he can lick his wounds in private because there are no wounds from what just happened.
"I still don't like it," Dean says, his voice wrecked even though he wasn't crying hard enough for that to happen. "I want it, but I don't like that I-"
"You don't have to explain it to me, Dean. I'm here for you any time you need me."
Dean wipes his eyes again and nods.