Chapter Text
The laugh was unexpected, even by himself. Tighnari tried to cover it with his hand but it was no use. The others were already looking at him as if he’d gone mad.
“What? That one wasn’t so bad.” It had been. He couldn’t remember what the ‘joke’ was but it had definitely been one of Cyno’s worse ones. If he was honest with himself, he shouldn’t have started drinking. If he was honest with himself, he probably should have stayed home.
January was always a tough time for Tighnari. His kind is rare in Sumeru and he doubted that others would understand how hormonal cycles affected him differently. Either that or, what he was always more afraid of, they might see him as far more animal than human. Most years he’d go about his duties alone, citing how January was more dangerous due to the wildlife and that they needed to spread out in smaller groups, followed by excusing himself from social activities due to tiredness. In reality, being away from people helped him to manage his symptoms with medicines that would otherwise draw his health into question and potentially expose what was going on. The last few years, he’d been able to have Cyno around again - something that he hadn’t been able to do since they were teenagers - as he seemed completely oblivious to his change in behaviour. He never asked Tighnari about why he had to disappear every now-and-then or why he had to shower more often. He never mentioned his tail, which still twitched despite Tighnari trying his hardest to control it, or Tighnari wanting to practise sparring with him more often. How Tighnari would take the opportunity to touch Cyno or have Cyno touch him - always non-sexually, but just enough to calm his mind for a bit.
He’d even taught Cyno how to use a bow last year, which was a big step for him. Tighnari had physically corrected Cyno’s posture. The other had needed a lot more guidance than he’d first thought, having to be stood with almost their whole bodies touching so he could ensure Cyno was using the bow safely and the arrow wouldn't hit some poor animal or passer-by. He'd expected Cyno to be fine wielding the weapon but that wasn't the case. Still, Tighnari was able to stay calm through the whole session without having to excuse himself once. It had been intimidating at first. It was scary to imagine he’d end up in a cold shower feeling guilty for not controlling his urges. Feeling like he’d betrayed Cyno. He felt bad enough for having feelings for the other without making it worse by acting on those feelings, even by himself. It felt like a betrayal of his trust. Something the other would never forgive if he had found out. Every time Tighnari thought about it, his heart sank at the idea of Cyno no longer wanting to be around him. At least this issue was unique to January, sometimes a few days into February, and the rest of the year he barely had to think about it. There were times when Cyno would do something that brought those feelings up again, but it was much easier to push them out of his mind when he wasn't filled to the brim with hormones.
Tonight he’d agreed to go out to celebrate one of Kaveh’s projects. He’d only had one glass of wine and yet he could already feel his cheeks burning, not helped by the looks on Alhaithem and Kaveh’s faces.
“If Nari is already drunk, I guess we’ll need to ‘wine’ down early ‘tighnight’.” Cyno continued, drawing Tighnari’s attention to his proud look instead. It made him squirm in his seat for a moment, trying his best to keep his mind away from thoughts of the man giving the same expression in a different context.
Looking down at him.
“There’s no way Tighnari is drunk. He’s barely touched his wine.”
Pushing him into the mattress.
“He does get sick around this time of year, it can lower alcohol tolerance. He only came out to celebrate you.” Alhaitham corrected. At least it had drawn Kaveh’s attention away from Tighnari and towards complaining about the reaction instead.
Filling him with pleasure.
He couldn’t focus on whatever Kaveh’s words were, instead standing and excusing himself to go to the bathroom.
His face was redder than he’d thought and even splashing water on it did little to cool it down. There wasn’t anything he could do here. It would be completely inappropriate to relieve himself in one of the stalls, not to mention he had no idea how long that would take as he’d never done it before, and his medicine didn’t mix well with alcohol. The last thing he needed was a migraine tomorrow. If anything, that would only make getting up and going out all the harder. Still, he stared at the herbs in his hand, considering whether it might be worth it. He could always settle a migraine with some pain relieving herbs, but he didn’t have many other options for treating his current situation. Whatever he did, he didn't want to ruin the night for Kaveh and he didn't want them catching onto what was going on with him.
His ears twitched as Cyno’s chair moved in the bar, shoving the herbs back into his pocket and washing his hands as if he’d actually gone to the toilet. At least, it would have been if he'd remembered to take off his gloves first. It would look even more conspicuous now if he decided to take them off in the middle of washing his hands.
“Tighnari.” Cyno started as soon as he’d come through the door, “Do you want to go home? Kaveh said he’d forgotten about the time of year and he’s happy to celebrate once you’ve recovered. He actually said he’d prefer it, so you’re not uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine. There’s no need not to celebrate on account of me. I just needed a moment.”
“Either way, we agreed it best to go back to my house for now. We can play some TCG and relax. Alhaitham will bring some wine.”
Although the suggestion may have been with the best intentions, actually being at Cyno’s house was far more overwhelming than Tighnari had anticipated. He had regained some composure on the walk and yet as soon as the door opened, Cyno’s scent made his head spin. The others didn’t seem to comment at all, so there was no way it was as strong as it seemed to Tighnari, yet he seemed so attuned to it. It made sense. Cyno was the only person he could smell at the bar, despite usually being able to smell all the wines, foods, and other patrons. Now he was surrounded by Cyno’s scent, sitting with one leg over the other to hide any potential reaction he might have through the evening. Fortunately, he was able to mostly ignore it by focusing on Kaveh’s ramblings about clients and Alhaitham and his latest project and Alhaitham and blueprints... and Alhaitham. He was making a point to question everything or give advice. It was something he’d normally do, so it wouldn't draw any attention but was also helping to distract him, even if his advice happened to be terrible due to his current state. Kaveh was calling the latter out, although seemed adamant that Tighnari's bad advice was due to him being a scientist and not an artist.
“When we have our celebration in February, we’ll go more towards the desert. That way we can have some fireworks too. I’ve wanted to experiment with putting on a firework show.”
“That’s unlike you. Are you planning on recording it or something?” Tighnari questioned, his head tilting. Honestly, Kaveh hadn’t said anything to actually worry him all night but for some reason the idea of him creating something so impermanent was out of character in a concerning way, “I mean, once it’s over, it’s-...”
“Shh.” He was waving his hands in front of him now, glancing over at Alhaitham before moving to whisper near Tighnari’s ear, “I’ll be recording it but… I was actually planning on putting something together for around then anyway. At first I thought maybe something more private but I couldn’t think of something that Alhaitham could enjoy that wasn't reading. Reading is fine, I suppose, but I can't just make him a quiet space with piles of new books every year. That's just lazy! Then the other day he mentioned how going to Liyue or Inazuma to see the fireworks would be good next year. I know the risk of fires, so I wanted to ask you and Cyno if there was somewhere I could set them up safely in the desert, without it being too far to walk? I don't want to pass out again and I'd like it if you and Cyno could also join us. I have the designs at home, if that helps, I could bring them over tomorrow.”
“I thought the point of waiting to celebrate your success was for me not to be sick? If you’re coming over anyway, that defeats the point. Not that I’m against helping with this, I think it would be a great birthday gift for him, but you know I’ll still be sick when you come over. If you want me to take you through the forest to look for risks or the view of the sky, that’s not a great idea.”
“Why not?” Both their eyes went to the other two as Kaveh’s voice raised. They were sat on the other side of the room, Kaveh having made an ‘excuse’ that he wanted to talk to Tighnari about work and didn’t want to bore the others. At least Kaveh took the hint to return to a whisper, but that did nothing to comfort Tighnari at his words, “Cyno’s your partner, not me, so surely it won’t make any difference that I’m around. Just tell me a time when you two won’t be dealing with your ‘sickness’ and if you need to step away to-...”
“Have I been that obvious? Do Alhaitham and Cyno know?”
“I’m not sure about Alhaitham but of course Cyno knows. You two have been together longer than we have. He doesn’t talk about what you two get up to, fortunately, but I ask how you’re doing and he’ll often say you’re handling it fine. Sometimes he’ll mention you’ve had a particularly bad day or that you needed more distractions, but he’s never even mentioned that it’s heat. He just-...”
“Please don’t call it that .”
“Well, I guess that explains why he doesn’t.”
“Anyway, we don’t ‘get up to’ anything. Cyno helps distract me and sometimes holds me when I’m struggling to sleep, that’s all. I haven’t even told him how I feel. I don’t want him to feel obligated to help me or have him look at me like an animal. I can control myself just fine.”
“You mean you don’t even tell him you love him? Tighnari, even Alhaitham tells me he loves me and that’s Alhaitham .”
“Well, you two are dating. Cyno and I are just friends. Sure, we say ‘I love you’ as friends, all friends do that, right? Best friends, at least, I wouldn’t say it to you or Alhaitham because… because although we’re friends the two of you are closer and I don't really want to fight Alhaitham.” Tighnari’s eyes stayed on Cyno for a few moments before acknowledging the obvious shock on Kaveh’s face, “what?”
“That’s not what Cyno thinks.”
“And what does Cyno think?”
“Well…” Kaveh stopped suddenly, looking towards the others and back, except this time he didn’t stop on Tighnari, “Cyno, how long have you two been dating? Tighnari has lost track and I just can’t finish this blueprint without the number.”
“8 years, 11 months, and 25 days.” Cyno’s confidence made Tighnari’s tail shoot up, faster than he could grab it to pull it down around his front, “Although Tighnari always forgets the day, so we tend to celebrate the day after. He also tends to feel better by then.”
“That’s right. I thought it was ten years but I was probably just rounding up.” His voice sounded nowhere near as confident, but seemed to have the desired effect. Cyno was smiling and hadn’t questioned why Kaveh had asked or if Tighnari had really been oblivious all these years. It did make sense, now he was thinking about it. Cyno held him when he was upset or tired. They went for dinner with each other. Cyno would sometimes even kiss him on the head before they slept. They told each other they loved one another almost every day. Even then, how many other signifiers was Tighnari missing?
“So, have you been holding off because you thought you two weren’t together?” Kaveh’s voice had returned to a whisper as he pretended to write things down.
“Honestly? I haven’t even pleasured myself. It just felt like I'd be breaking his trust.”
The pause seemed to last forever, only broken by Kaveh shooting out of his seat and marching over to his own partner, “Alhaitham, it’s time we went home. Tighnari isn’t feeling well and he needs time to recover.”
“We’re in the middle of a game.” Alhaitham objected as he was dragged to his feet, dropping his cards over the table, “What’s gotten into you?”
“You can finish when we come over tomorrow. Let’s go.”
“Kaveh, why are we leaving?”
“Tighnari needs rest. With Cyno. Alone.”
Tighnari’s eyes went between them. It was as if they were having a conversation without speaking. At least, a one-sided conversation. Kaveh pulled a range of expressions while Alhaitham’s face stayed neutral.
“I see. If you were that eager, I don't see why you didn't ask directly. I suppose Tighnari must be contagious.”
“You… I was trying to be subtle.”
“Subtlety isn’t exactly your strong suit.” Despite the conversation, Alhaitham was following Kaveh to the door far faster than Tighnari would have expected him to. It was as if he'd suddenly remember he left the oven on but didn't want to draw attention to it. “We’ll finish the game tomorrow, Cyno.”
“Of course. I’ll keep the cards set up.”
They were completely silent as Cyno tidied Alhaitham’s hand into a pile next to his deck and put his own hand next to his. It seemed like the task took hours, rather than the less than a minute that it actually took, and even after that, Tighnari didn’t turn to Cyno until the man was sat next to him.
“You're feeling bad again?” Cyno’s hand on his forehead made Tighnari want to melt into the seat beneath him. Why would he be checking Tighnari’s temperature if he knew what was going on? “You do still have a temperature. Strange, I didn't think you were contagious, I've never come down with anything.”
“I’m fine, Kaveh was using me as an excuse to get some alone time with Alhaitham.” Despite everything civil inside of him telling him not to flirt, not to make any moves or say anything to Cyno, Tighnari couldn’t help the smug look that came over his face, or the way it lingered in his tone, “But no, I'm not contagious. That was a joke. Don’t get it? Do you need it explained to you?”
Cyno didn’t lean back, even as Tighnari moved onto his hands and knees, his eyes seeming to flick from Tighnari’s ears, to his tail, and then his lips, “Actually, I think I do. You’re sick, so being contagious would mean you gave Kaveh your sickness… but why would that mean leaving? Unless the joke was in your name… but I can't see what that would be... Con-Tighnari-agous doesn't work.”
“Cyno. He was referring to the specific sickness I’m currently suffering.”
“But you said that wasn’t contagious?”
He paused. Cyno did the same, his eyes moving back up to Tighnari’s own. Cyno actually seemed confused. It was something he didn’t often see on the other’s face. In fact, it was far more expressive than he was used to from Cyno at all.
“Cyno…” Tighnari started, taking his time to be cautious with the words, “... what is the sickness I’m suffering?”
“I don’t know. Homeostasis?”
“Homeo-...? That’s not a disease…”
“But it rhymes with contagi-s.”
“I can’t tell if that’s a bad joke or if you’re serious. Either way, you’re making it extremely difficult not to pounce on you right now.”
Cyno’s eyes narrowed for a moment, his eyes doing another few loops of Tighnari’s ears, tail, and lips, Tighnari's own watching them move. He could feel his tail standing tall behind his back, twitching to the side each time Cyno’s eyes passed over it and each time he punctuated it with a, what he thought was obvious, sign by running his tongue over his canines.
“Tighnari… are you… in heat?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? Kaveh said the same thing! I’m a man, I’m not ‘in heat’. It’s a rut.” Tighnari sat back on his feet, his ears pushed backwards in annoyance, "Heat is where a female is fertile and shows breeding behaviour, ruts are the male version. Yes, granted, my tail stands up but that doesn't make it a heat."
“Well, if you’re stuck in a rut, Cyno a way to help with that.”
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s a yes, although I may require some guidance. I’ve only ever pleasured myself before.”
“Guidance? I-... ah… I’ve never even done that. Fennec Foxes mate for life, I was sort of relying on-... well, on you knowing how everything worked. I know biologically, I've read textbooks and papers and seen animals do it, but in practice, I’ve no experience and doubt that medical knowledge alone will make for a pleasurable experience.”
The two stared at each other in silence. Tighnari was the first one that broke, Cyno following closely behind as the room filled with laughter. Once they’d both settled, Tighnari perched himself on Cyno’s lap, burying his face in the other’s neck to take in as much of his scent as he could. He’d been working all day, and his scent was stronger than Tighnari had smelt on him before. Usually Cyno would shower before visiting Tighnari but they’d both agreed to meet with the others as soon as they’d finished work. There wasn’t any sweat on his skin, but Tighnari was still imagining his body glistening in the sunlight of the desert with each deep inhale.
“Sorry, I didn’t get time to shower. We could shower-...”
“No.” Tighnari moaned. It seemed like all his other senses had left him, only focused on Cyno and his body. He’d already freed his hands from his gloves in order to feel Cyno’s skin as he slowly caressed his chest and abs, “Take this off.”
Cyno obliged the request, Tighnari watching as he tossed his headdress and neck piece to the side before putting his hand on Tighnari’s chest to stop him from immediately burying his face again, “How desperate are you right now?”
It took a moment to regain his composure, especially as he held back a whimper at the question, “If you’re not feeling it, we can stop. You’re more impor-...”
There was little time to process the sudden jerk forward or Cyno’s grip on the front of his hoodie, instead hungrily exploring Cyno’s mouth as the other pressed their lips together. His lips were chapped against Tighnari’s softer ones, his teeth beaconing them back each time they broke for air. When Cyno pulled away, Tighnari didn’t hesitate this time to express his displeasure with the lack of contact. A whimper, followed by a small growl, only silenced by a small laugh from the other, “I meant, do I need to Tie-nari you up…” Even Tighnari was unsure if the groan that escaped him was sexual or not, “... so I can savour every bit of you, or are you going to be a good boy while I fox you.”
“You are so lucky I’m in rut and your jokes are actually turning me on for once.”
“You know…” Cyno started again. Tighnari prepared for whatever onslaught of puns was coming but instead ended up staring at Cyno while the other was freeing him of the top half of his clothing and tying his hands over his head with his own sash, “... while we were playing TCG, Alhaitham mentioned that-...”
“If you’re worried about interlocking, don’t. My penis is standard for humans, I don’t appear to have any facilities to-...”
“I know what your… wait, what’s interlocking?”
He paused, watching the confusion play over Cyno’s face, “Oh… ah… don’t worry. What did he mention?”
“That you might be able to have multiple orgasms. I don’t want to make you cum too quickly if that’ll lead to you being over-sensitive but if you can, that would be…” His toes curled as Cyno teased his nipples with his thumbs, circling each slowly, prickles of pleasure following the touch, “... interesting to experiment with.”
“I… ah…” His mind was going blank, even with just the small amount of contact his lover was giving him, “... just fuck me, please, Cyno. I want you. I need you so badly!”
“Already begging, Nari? I’ve barely even started touching you?” His voice was teasing, a near whisper that Cyno must have known Tighnari would hear despite being so far away from his ears, “Go into the bedroom. If you can take your shoes off without help, take them off. Don’t touch yourself - wait for me. If you’re a good boy, I might let you cum.”
“I don’t care about coming.” A blatant lie, but the easiest way to convey the message he wanted, especially in the condition he found himself in, his voice cracking, “I want you. I want you.”
Cyno’s face wasn’t what he’d expected, going from a playful smile to a small frown. Tighnari froze. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong, especially with his head flooded with hormones and not even thinking properly. He could barely form a thought. He was just filled with sudden anxiety. If he’d said something wrong, he couldn’t grasp what it could be.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” The question caught Tighnari off guard, opening his mouth but not knowing how to react, “We don’t have to have sex just because you’re physically turned on.”
“What makes you think I don’t want to?”
“Well,” His pause seemed to last minutes, “You’ve been ‘sick’ before and not wanted to. Also, you’re very rigid. You’re talking like you want to, and reacting, but is that just your hormones or is it because you’re actually feeling it? I just want to know if this is first time nerves or if I should be concerned.”
He was rigid. He hadn’t noticed. Why was he so rigid?
Tighnari took a deep breath, settling into Cyno’s lap and cuddling against his chest. His body was burning. He could feel a desperate need in every inch of skin. It took a moment but he cleared his thoughts and the feeling passed, at least as much as it would for the time being. It felt more natural again. More like when he had held Cyno’s arm to show him how to aim. More like when they’d cuddled before. Maybe he had just felt like he had to. Why did knowing that they were dating changed anything? It shouldn’t and he knew that. Instead of feeling like he wanted sex, suddenly he just felt like crying. He wouldn’t. He didn’t want to cry and moreover he didn’t want Cyno to feel guilty when he was the one making himself feel this way. Instead, he offered a meek, “Can we just cuddle and talk?”
Cyno kissed his head as he released his hands and Tighnari realised his ears had pushed themselves back, “Of course.”
“I just feel so stupid. We’ve been dating for almost nine years.” His voice had settled again, although his chest was still tight. He didn’t like being emotional, even though he knew Cyno would be understanding. Tighnari was logical, he rationalised things, and even now that doing so was the problem he didn’t want to stop.
“You’re not stupid. You’re the smartest person I know. I don’t care if we never have sex, Tighnari. You’re more important to me than that.”
“No that’s not…” He sat up, looking into Cyno’s eyes again. He looked confused in the most adorable way. Tighnari couldn’t help but chuckle, “I didn’t realise.”
“You didn’t realise?”
“That we were dating.” Another pause. He’d expected the other to be shocked, but instead there was just a look of amusement, “I know, I know. I should have. Even when I was talking to Kaveh, I realised it’s been obvious.”
“We shower together.”
“Men shower together all the time…”
“We wash each other in the shower.”
“I know.”
“We sleep cuddled up together quite a lot.” Cyno grinned and nuzzled into Tighnari’s neck.
“Cyno…”
“I kiss your head and cheeks. We tell each other we love one another. We have those custom TCG cards… I wouldn’t give something like that to just a friend, Nari.”
“I know, I know. That’s why I’m saying I’ve been stupid.”
“That’s before even mentioning Collei. I’m sure some friends raise children together but more often that’s something that happens in relationships.”
A small sigh escaped his chest. He hadn’t even thought about that, or tried to rationalise it. When it came to Collei, he saw her like a younger sister rather than a daughter but even so, it made sense that they had still raised her since Cyno had brought her back from Monstadt. Regardless of the label he put on their relationship, he and Cyno were still her guardians and still worked together to make sure she had the best life possible.
“Cyno,” He took a deep breath, waiting for their eyes to meet again, “I don’t want this to change anything. In my eyes, we’ve been dating for all this time. There wasn’t a need to make some official show of it or say it or have some… relationship certificate or something. I’ve just been stuck in my own head and should have talked to you.”
“We can’t change what’s done, and I wouldn’t want to either.” His hand felt soothing against Tighnari’s cheek, “Feeling better?”
“A lot. I’m sorry for letting my hormones drive me. I guess I got over excited and wasn’t thinking. Maybe in the morning we could try again but slower? Do you want to head to bed?”
“Are you tired?”
“Today’s been pretty draining for me, yeah.”
Tighnari laugh as Cyno lifted him with ease into a bridal carry, not having expected the gesture, but snuggling into it all the same.