Work Text:
Karkat Vantas was enjoying a quiet night at home, wrapped tightly in his favorite blanket. His roommate was out for the night and he fully intended to take advantage of the lack of competition for the shared TV. His microwaved dinner sat on the coffee table as he scrolled through the list of shows he had saved for nights like this.
Nights off were far and few between for him as one of the only active coroners in his small town, so he had to fully savor them when he managed to get one. With a job like his, he truly needed more time to recover, but it simply wasn't an option at this time.
If he had just not moved back to his small hometown after finishing school, perhaps this wouldn't be an issue, but he felt himself drawn home to his roots, tangled as they were. Karkats whole life was here - his father, his friends, his entire past. It wasn’t so easily abandoned, not for someone like him.
A shrill ring pierced the air, the tinny jingle playing on loop as Karkat grit his teeth and sighed in irritation. He let it ring for another beat before giving in with a groan, swiping to accept the call.
"What?" he answered tersely. "I'm not working tonight. You know this, Aradia."
There was an uncomfortable chuckle on the other end of the line. "Sorry, Karkat. You know I wouldn't call you in unless I had no other choice. I've got a full schedule for the night, but we just had a new one come in."
"Can we not just put the new arrival in storage until the morning?" Karkat asked.
"Unfortunately, no. The police themselves are bringing this one in, they believe it to be the victim of a cold case from years ago. They want answers as soon as possible."
This piqued Karkat's interest. Working in a small peaceful town meant that most of the cadavers he examined were victims of more mundane deaths, such as heart attacks or strokes. It wasn't often that the police requested their assistance.
Karkat stood, cradling his phone between his ear and shoulder as he gathered his untouched meal and shut off the TV. "Do we have an ID?" he asked, setting his food inside the fridge uncovered and heading to his room to get changed.
"I haven't had a chance to look over the paperwork yet, but I do know that the body was previously frozen for God knows how long. I'm keeping it in cold storage right now but it's going to thaw fairly rapidly." Aradia said.
"Frozen? Where the fuck did they find this? How long has it been frozen?" Karkat asks, drawing his eyebrows together in confusion. He quickly pulled on his work uniform and shoved his feet into his boots. Their town was fairly warm with a mild winter cycle, so even bodies left outside in December wouldn't fully freeze.
Aradia hummed thoughtfully, the sound of papers shuffling coming through faintly. "Looks like they found him on the south edge of town, near the water tower, I think. Hmm, poor kid was shoved in a meat freezer."
Karkat's stomach dropped. "Fuck, it's a kid? Do we know how old?" Children were the most difficult cases for Karkat, he never quite managed to purge their still lifeless faces from his memory. You can't be sensitive with this career path, but there are some things that were nearly impossible to harden his heart to.
Aradia was quick to correct him. "Don't worry, he's not a little kid or anything. Mid to late teens, they think. I don't really have more information than that at the moment, sorry. I do have to get back to my set, though. See you in a bit?"
Karkat breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I'm heading out now." Ending the call, he grabbed his keys and climbed into his car.
The drive to his office was mercifully short, and he managed to keep his mind from flashing back to the faces of the dead children from his previous cases. It felt as though he would never be free of them, their lifeless eyes and bloodless faces haunting his dreams. He only saw them after death, but at the beginning he felt as though he should have saved them, somehow.
The gravel of the facilities driveway crunched under his tires as he pulled in. Karkat took a deep breath to steady himself. It may not be a child on that table, but he didn't anticipate the sight to be easy.
He unlocked the front door of the facility and slipped in quietly. His footsteps echoed on the tiled floor as he made his way to the examination room. None of the other employees were currently here, save Aradia, which meant that management insisted on a majority of the lights staying shut off. Alternating bulbs illuminated the hallway, his shadows extending and shrinking around him. Had he been less accustomed to the sight, he would have described the atmosphere as the set up to a horror movie. Luckily he took great care to avoid any and all things horror. No need to give his mind more ammunition to torture him with while he tried and failed to sleep.
Aradia smiled at him when he entered the exam room, buried up to her wrists in the cadaver on her table. She pulled her hands out carefully, fingers wrapped around a swollen liver. Karkat winced at the sight of cirrhosis. Fuck, that's a nasty way to go.
"Thank you so much for coming in, Karkat. I really appreciate your help. I've got my hands full with Mrs. Lalonde here." she said as she holds up the liver, chuckling at her own joke.
Karkat snorted. "I can see that."
Mrs. Lalonde's alcoholism was well known among the community, and he couldn't exactly say he was terribly surprised to see she found herself on Aradia's table. Still, it's sad to see members of his town succumb to their vices, especially before they hit their 60th birthday. He made a mental note to reach out to Rose in the morning to deliver his condolences.
He stepped over to the body, gazing down at her peacefully empty face. "I thought she was in AA. I could've sworn she quit. Again, at least."
Aradia shrugged. "Apparently not. Or maybe she did, and it was just too late. Either way, it doesn't particularly matter."
Karkat frowned. "It should. I hate to think that she was trying to get better, but lost anyway."
Aradia was quiet for a moment. "These things happen, you know that. Sometimes you can't outrun the mistakes of your past, no matter what you do to atone." she said softly.
Karkat looked away sharply. He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to release the sudden tension and popped his upper back. He strode over to the new cadaver files, picking up the one Aradia set aside for him. He held it up, making a questioning noise.
Aradia glanced up and nodded, then turned her attention back to weighing Mrs. Lalonde's innards, murmuring quietly into her dictation headset.
Karkat flipped open the file on his new assignment, blood freezing in his veins at the name listed.
Strider, Dave.
There must have been a mistake. He blinked furiously, staring at the name, hoping to blink away what must have been a hallucination.
Dave's name remained, staring back at him.
This was impossible. Dave should be grown, he was only a few months younger than Karkat. He was supposed to be in California, making art and playing music for the past 15 years. He's supposed to be happy and thriving, and alive.
What is he doing here?
"Karkat?" Aradia's voice broke through Karkat's rapidly rising panic. "Are you all right?"
Karkat gasped in a breath, his hands trembling visibly. With the file still clutched in his hand, he walked to the drawer containing Dave as if in a dream.
No, not a dream. A nightmare.
He unlatched the door and pulled the slab from the frozen depths. His eyes were wide and unblinking as he looked down at the face that undeniably belonged to Dave Strider.
Dave's empty eyes stared back up at him, the once brilliant red clouded by death. His pale skin was drawn tight against his muscle and bone, mapping the structures hidden from sight.
Most notable were the assorted wounds littered across his body. Dark bruises and deep cuts marred his pale skin.
"Fuck." Karkat breathed. "Fuck!" He buried his face in his hands, turning away from Dave's empty face.
Behind him he heard Aradia removing her gloves and stepping behind him, softly placing her hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" she asked as she glanced down.
Karkat shook his head, desperately attempting to control his breathing. He didn't trust his voice just yet.
"Do you know him?" she asked gently. He nodded. "Would you like to switch? You don't have to do this one if you don't want to."
He rubbed his hands over his face before removing them, taking a deep breath. "No, I...I need to do this." He stepped away from Aradia's comforting touch to gather his work supplies. She watched him for another moment before returning back to her own assignment.
Karkat's mind whirled as he pulled on his PPE. The last time he saw Dave was halfway through their senior year of high school, just before Dave's 18th birthday. He had vanished without a word to anyone, with the general consensus being that Dave had finally run away from his older brother to live out his dreams on the West Coast. Karkat had fought that idea for a long time, refusing to believe Dave would leave him without so much as a goodbye.
As the years passed, he came to accept the idea that Dave had moved on from his old life, from Karkat. He had never reached out, and Karkat never tried to find him. It hurt to imagine, but he believed Dave had found his happiness without him, and didn't want to ruin that.
Had he been here this entire time?
Karkat hovered over Dave's still form, taking in the sight. He didn't look much older than the last time Karkat saw him. Karkat's gloved hand gently stroked Dave's cold cheek, following the familiar path of freckles. He bit his lip as he pulled his hand back, his heart breaking in his chest.
He maneuvered his gurney under Dave's slab, lowering and latching it securely before wheeling Dave to his station. Grief threatened to boil over his tightly held control as he blinked back tears. Gently he brushed Dave's bangs back from his forehead and silently promised to find out what happened to him.
He had an awful feeling he already knew.
Karkat clicked on his dictation headset once he was sure that he could speak without wavering.
"Name: Strider, Dave. Specimen collected on 12/16/2023 by police. Specimen frozen for several years, discovered in a meat trunk. Post mortem examination continues as detailed in Derse County autopsy protocol. Initially reviewed from presumed scene of death in black body transport bag."
Karkat raised his documentation camera, taking snapshots of Dave from several angles. His professional detachment was coming in handy now, holding tight to the destruction of his heart. On the surface, he was carefully composed, but inside he was a howling maelstrom of grief at the sight of his childhood friend laying motionless on his table.
"Now conducting external examination, starting with patients head. Contusion along right cheek, as well as lacerations on the same site."
He gently turned Dave's head to the side to examine the back of the head. He frowned at the sight of dark blood caked into the fine blonde strands, and ran gentle fingers over his skull. There was definitely an impact, the back of his skull nearly caved in.
"Depressed skull fracture along the occipital and parietal region, consistent with heavy impact. C3 and C4 appear to be fractured as well. There are...bruises along the throat suggesting strangulation."
He reset Dave's head, moving on.
"Slightly pronounced lividity along right side of body, indicating the body was laying on the right side when placed in the...freezer." A deep breath. "Due to the light coloration, the body must have been frozen nearly immediately after death, not giving the blood a chance to settle."
"Left arm shows trauma to the ulna. Positioning suggests defense-type wound. Appears to have been inflicted with a...blade of some kind. Bone is visible through the wound."
A blade. Fuck.
The two thirteen year olds sat in Karkat's room, a solemn silence smothering the atmosphere. Dave curled in on himself defensively, avoiding Karkat's eyes.
"Look, it's not...it's not a big deal. He's just trying to help me get stronger." he muttered, keeping his eyes locked on his feet. A finger idly ran along the edge of a hole in his sock, the fabric worn thin throughout the years.
Karkat's eye twitched. "You can't actually believe that. He cut you with a fucking sword, Dave! A sword!" he hissed quietly, trying not to wake his father.
Dave's shoulders drew up farther as if trying to hide him from Karkat's fury. "Yeah dude, I was there, I know about the goddamned sword. You don't have to keep saying it."
Karkat sighed heavily. "How often does this happen?"
"What, the training or me eating shit?" Dave joked weakly. When Karkat didn't respond, Dave shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know what you want me to say. Just because your family doesn't do it, doesn't mean it's wrong."
Karkat wanted to grab Dave by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. Instead he said softly, "Yes, it does. It's wrong for him to hurt you."
Dave exhaled sharply, pressing his lips tightly together, still refusing to meet Karkat's eyes.
Chewing his lip, Karkat carefully slid closer to Dave until their shoulders were pressing against each other. The warmth of Dave's skin on his was electrifying and he was unable to suppress his shiver. Carefully, gently, he leaned his head onto Dave. Dave tensed near imperceptibly but didn't move away.
Karkat sighed, his breath fanning across Dave's skin. "You don't deserve to be hurt. By him, or by anyone."
Had Karkat not been so close, he may have missed the way Dave's lip trembled. He may not have heard the shuddering breath Dave tried to hide, the thick swallow holding back tears.
Dave licked his lips before speaking. "If I don't deserve it..." he began hesitantly. "...Then why does it keep happening to me?"
A single tear made it's way down Dave's cheek, glittering in the moonlight. Biting back his own tears, Karkat pulled Dave into a tight embrace. They clung to each other tightly, and if more tears were shed, neither of them mentioned it.
"Left and right leg only show abrasions on the knees, otherwise free of new injury."
Karkat walked around the table to reach Dave's other side.
"Right arm contains abrasion on elbow, potentially from catching himself from a fall. All four main metacarpophalangeal joints show bruising."
He stood upright, examining the trunk of Dave's body, the familiar expanse of pale skin.
"Left lumbar region of abdomen contains contusions. On the umbilical region, there is a puncture wound, 2 inches above specimen's navel. Wound seems to be consistent with injury on left ulna. Likely made by the same weapon."
Small pale scars were scattered across Dave's chest and arms, wounds so old that he didn't need to mention them in his report. The sight of them momentarily stunned Karkat, the rage he felt ran so deep he could imagine the marrow of his bones boiling. What made this last time so different? Why did it go so much further?
He gently rolled Dave onto his side to examine his back and sucked in a harsh breath.
"Puncture wound from front umbilical region pairs with a matching exit wound on the back, just missing the spine. There are several lacerations along the back, varying in depth."
Karkat rolled Dave back over and braced his hands on the table, bowing his head in despair. He lifted his wrist to his forehead, choking out a groan. "Fuck!"
He felt Aradia's eyes on him, no doubt ready to jump in the second he requested. She has always respected his boundaries, both professional and personal, trusting him to tell her if he's going to break. He won't break, he can't. Not yet. Not before finding out what happened to Dave.
"Now collecting samples from underneath patients fingernails, labeled under Strider, Dave. Reference number of vial is 5859."
Karkat gently lifted Dave's right hand, saddened but not shocked at how much smaller it was than his own. The last time he held this hand was days before Dave was meant to turn eighteen.
Dave ran his fingers over a flat stone before winding his arm back to skip it across the river. It bounced once, twice, three times before sinking beneath the waves. He turned to grin at Karkat who scowled in return.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up while you can." he sneered, holding up his own stone. "Watch this!" He hurled his stone at the water with all his might. When it hit the waves it splashed and sank immediately.
Dave howled with laughter behind him. "Fucking incredible. Don't you worry, I watched every second." he gasped, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.
Karkat huffed, crossing his arms. "That wasn't my fault, the rock sucked." he grumbled as he walked back up to Dave's side.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Dave chuckled as he stretched his arms above his head. "C'mon, I wanna get in." He bent down to remove his shoes and socks, using Karkat's shoulder to balance. Tossing them carelessly up the bank, he rolled his jeans up to his knees before wading into the water.
"You're fucking insane if you think I'm getting in that water. It's November, aren't you freezing?" Karkat shouted from the riverside, his arms crossed to ward off the chilly air.
Dave threw his head back and groaned. "Man, it's never going to be perfect. Just lighten up and do what you want without being so afraid all the time." He made his way back to Karkat and held his hand out invitingly. "I'll keep you safe, just trust me."
Karkat hesitated for another moment before reaching out to take Dave's hand. Using his hand to balance, he removed his own socks and shoes before following Dave into the water. The cold bit at his skin and he shivered, gripping Dave's hand tighter. "This is so fucking cold I'm going to die, I swear."
Dave rolled his eyes. "You're not gonna die, drama queen." Tugging Karkat's hand, Dave pulled him into his arms. "Besides, I'd keep you safe." he whispered, kissing Karkat's forehead softly.
Karkat wound his arms around Dave tightly, smiling into his shirt. They had danced around each others affections for years - it felt surreal to finally be able to hold him like this. He didn't think he'd ever get over it. "Yeah? What, you're gonna protect me?" he asked playfully.
Dave raised his eyebrows. "Of course. What, you don't believe me?" he demanded with a grin.
"With what, these limp noodles?" Karkat teased, turning his head to kiss Dave's arms.
Gasping with faux outrage, Dave exclaimed, "Low blow, Karks. I may be a string bean but that doesn't mean I'm not strong." In a swift motion he crouched and scooped Karkat up in a princess carry. "See? This ain't nothin."
Karkat gasped in surprise, scrambling to clutch onto Dave's shoulders. "What the fuck, let me down!" he demanded.
Dave tilted his head and hummed in fake consideration. "Nah, I don't think so. Not until you admit that I'm strong enough to protect ya."
"Fucking -- fine! You're strong, whatever. Now put me down!" Karkat shouted.
Dave grinned widely. "Nah. I don't think I will."
Karkat sputtered indignantly. "Wh-? I did what you asked! Keep your end of the deal, you ass."
"Maybe I want to hold my boyfriend. You ever consider that, Vantas?" Dave asked, raising his eyebrows. His arms were beginning to tremble with exertion, but Hell would freeze over before he admitted it.
A blush spread over Karkat's face at Dave's words and he tightened his hold on Dave's shoulders. He smiled shyly, lifting his face to Dave's and pressing their lips together.
Dave gasped softly before tilting his head, heart fluttering at the sensation. He shifted his feet to steady them when a rock gave way, sending them both tumbling into the water with a shriek. They landed with a loud splash, falling away from each other.
"Fucking ow! Motherfucker, I told you!" Karkat shouted as he resurfaced.
Dave sat up with a groan, rubbing his hip. "My bad."
A breeze whipped by, ruffling their hair and causing a shiver to run through both boys. Dave stood and offered his hand to Karkat, pulling him to his feet. He kept their fingers linked as they walked back to the bank. They slipped their shoes on in silence, their teeth chattering from the chill.
Karkat wrapped his arms around himself. "Let's head back to my house, we can get dry clothes."
Dave agreed gratefully, extending his hand to Karkat. Their fingers intertwined as they walked, only dropping the connection when they hit the edge of town.
Tears clouded his vision as he ran his swabs underneath Dave's short nails. Squeezing his hand softly, he lowered it back down to the table and repeated the process on the opposite side. With the specimen collected, he sealed the tube, adding it to his counter.
"External examination complete. Proceeding with internal examination." he said, his voice tight.
Behind him, he heard Aradia quietly finish up with Mrs. Lalonde, wheeling her back to her drawer before grabbing her next cadaver.
Karkat numbly reached for his scalpel, his hand shaking as he lifted it over Dave's sternum. He inhaled shakily, trying and failing to steel himself to this next step.
Fuck, Dave already had so many blade wounds, and Karkat was about to inflict his own. Even in death, he couldn't escape the sharpened metal.
He ran his hand over Dave's ribs, prominent under his touch. His fingers curled over the curve of his ribs, grounding himself as he lowered the scalpel. The cold metal bit into Dave's flesh, splitting it easily.
Karkat carefully pulled the scalpel through Dave's flesh in a Y formation, starting at his shoulders to meet at the sternum and ending a couple of inches below the navel. Setting aside his scalpel, he gently worked his fingers between the skin and muscle and pulled them apart, revealing the ribs below. He ran a finger along a rib tenderly, hesitating when it caught on a crack.
"Internal examination reveals fractures along the 6th and 7th rib on the left. No bruising visible from the corresponding external site." Karkat's breath hitched as he realized just what that meant. "Ribs most likely broken prior to death, long enough for outward signs of bruising to heal."
He frantically thought back to the last days he saw Dave, trying to recall if he had seemed to be in more pain than usual. Nothing came to mind, so either Karkat had a shit memory or Dave had been more adept at hiding injuries than he initially believed.
After snapping a couple photos of Dave's ribcage, Karkat grabbed the rib shears. Lining them up to snap Dave's lowest rib, he hesitated. It's been a long time since this part of the process has caused him distress, but then again he's never cracked the ribs of a person he used to love.
If he were to be honest with himself, someone he still loves.
He grit his teeth and continued his grisly task.
One by one, Dave's ribs surrendered to Karkat's shears. His strong, practiced fingers slid beneath them to lift and spread, revealing Dave's inner self.
The sheer absurdity of the situation startled a laugh out of Karkat. "You always said I got under your skin, didn't you? I guess you were more right than you realized." he murmured.
Behind him, he heard Aradia still her movements. Her scalpel clinked against her metal tray as she set it down before walking over to Karkat.
"Seriously, Karkat. You don't have to do this one, just let me take over." she offered again.
Karkat clenched his teeth in frustration. "I fucking said no, Aradia. Stop asking me!" he snapped.
She jerked back, shocked at the intensity of his tone, her mouth opening in a small 'o' of surprise. Wide eyes stared at him in disbelief until he sighed and relented.
"Look, I'm sorry." he mumbled as his shoulders sagged. "Please stop offering, I'm not strong enough to keep refusing."
Her eyebrows pulled together in concern as she removed her gloves so she could lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Tell me," she requested. "Why is it so important that you're the one to do this?" Her gaze swept across the still form of Dave, his inner self open and offered to the open air.
Karkat lowered his eyes, staring into Dave's own, sightless forever. Eyes that should have been lit up with laughter even from behind the stupid shades he always insisted on wearing.
"I didn't look for him hard enough." he admitted quietly. "What if I had tried just a little more? Would he still be here?"
Tears rolled down his cheek. "Was he waiting for me to help him?" he choked. He wiped his sleeve over his eyes, allowing himself this single moment of weakness. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply once - twice - three times before resetting his shoulders. Aradia's eyes were wide with worry, her lower lip pulled between her teeth as she considered what to say. Karkat simply shook his head and stepped away, towards Dave. Her hand slid from his shoulder, hovering in the air for a moment before she lowered it to her side. She scrutinized his face carefully before nodding once and silently returning to her own task.
Dave lay waiting on his table, ribs spread wide. Steeling himself, Karkat snapped photos of the damaged organs before grabbing his tools. Carefully he cut the liver, lifting it gently and placing it on the scale.
"Liver weighs...1677 grams, measures at 5.3 inches." Karkat said into his mouthpiece. He moved the liver to his counter and returned to Dave for his next measurement.
Lungs, intestines, pancreas, kidneys, stomach, and spleen were meticulously cut free and weighed. When it came to his heart, Karkat hesitated. The solid weight of it in his hands grounded him as he tentatively ran his fingers over the chilled flesh.
Karkat famously hated Valentine's Day, taking great pains to mention it whenever possible. As a sophomore in high school, he didn't expect this one to go any differently. Luckily he normally spent the holiday with Dave as they talked shit about all the over-the-top couples at their school.
In some ways, he preferred spending that time with Dave anyway. At least with him, Karkat could be himself rather than waste his time trying to impress some girl.
A small smile spread across his face as he thought of his best friend. He hadn't seen him yet that day and was excited to tell him about the ridiculous gift displays he spotted that morning.
Dave met him at his locker, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he leaned casually against them. Too casually. Karkat narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on with you?” He asked.
The stiff lines of Dave’s shoulders twitched, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Nothing! What, I can’t meet my best friend without an interrogation?” he replied defensively.
Karkat hummed in mock thoughtfulness, tapping his finger to his chin and pursing his lips. “Hmmm…NO.” he jabbed his finger into Dave’s chest. “Not when you’re acting completely suspicious!”
Dave scoffed, shifting uncomfortably. “Get your finger off my chest, man. Stop trying to feel up my tits in public.” He knocked Karkats hand away gently, his wrist lingering against his own for a moment too long.
“Jesus, don’t just say that! People can hear you, you know!” Karkat sputtered. Fighting his blush, he chewed the inside of his lip as he studied Dave. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
The pink of Dave’s ear deepened into a dark red, the flush crawling across his cheeks. “Well. It’s Valentine’s Day, and —“ he began.
Karkats eyes widened as he cut Dave off. “Oh shit, are you gonna ask someone out?” Something in his gut sank uncomfortably at the idea, but he was going to be supportive, damn it!
“Yeah, I —“
“Who? Jade? You should go for it, she definitely likes you back! And I’ve seen how you look at her. You can’t fool me.” Karkat said with a cheer that sounded false even to him.
Dave frowned. “No, it’s not —“
“Terezi? Good fucking luck with that one. Not that I don’t think she’d go for it, that’s not what I meant, it’s just —“
Dave cut him off with a hand clapped over his mouth. “Karkat, just…shut the fuck up and listen to me for a second.”
Karkat raised an eyebrow, glancing down at Dave’s hand.
“If I take it off, are you going to let me finish my sentence? Nod for yes, blink forty times for no.” Dave teased.
Karkat rolled his eyes nodded.
“Okay, thank you. Jesus.” Lowering his hand, Dave fidgeted with the sleeve of his jacket, the other hand dipping into his pocket.
He was quiet for another moment, but Karkat refrained from interrupting.
Dave took a deep breath. “It’s Valentines Day, so…I’m. Um. Here.” He removed his hand from his pocket, shoving something into Karkats palm, his blush back in full force.
Confused, Karkat opened his hand. A smooth stone sat in his palm, the surface painted red. In small messy script, it read, will you be my valentine?
Karkats jaw dropped. “Is this…for me?” He choked out.
Dave nervously fiddled with his sleeves, shifting his weight side to side. “It’s - yeah. I thought you’d like something like this? It’s from our spot at the river.”
Staring mutely at the carefully painted stone in awe, Karkat’s heart thumped painfully against his ribs.
Dave chuckled nervously at the silence. “Ahh, haha, I love suspense as much as the next guy, but you’re killing me here, Karks. Seriously no pressure but if you hate it please just tell me.” he said quickly, voice quivering at the end.
Raising his wide eyes to meet Dave’s, a wide grin broke across his face. His fingers curled around the stone as he brought it to his chest. All he could manage was a nod.
Dave’s froze, eyes widening before answering with a small smile of his own. “Okay, cool.” he said breathlessly.
Karkat burst into loud laughter. “Cool? That’s all you’ve got? So romantic, Dave.”
Dave snorted, shoving him playfully. “Shut the hell up, dude.”
Karkat slid the stone into his pocket, running his finger over the cool surface, just to assure himself he wasn’t dreaming.
Karkat bit back a sigh, adding the dead heart to the rest of Dave's innards. With the abdomen now emptied, he stared at the hollow form. God, he didn't even look real anymore. Between the frozen pallor of his skin and the dark purples and reds of his muscles, it was easier to believe this was just an uncomfortably realistic Dave mannequin. Karkat hadn't needed to dissociate from his process in years, but he was rapidly unraveling, feeling as empty as the form on the table.
He turned his face away. Now it was time for the...god. Fuck. Removal of the brain.
More fucking cuts.
With shaking hands, he picked up his scalpel. He pressed the blade against the skin just behind one ear, dragging it slowly but deliberately across Dave's forehead, ending at the opposite ear. The skin split easily, offering no resistance.
Karkat set his scalpel back on his tray, his breath coming faster now. His eyes flitted across Dave's face as he swallowed heavily, guilt writhing in his belly. Dave stared lifelessly ahead as Karkat gently fit his fingers under the incision and peeled the skin back, revealing the stark white bone of his skull.
Dave's light blond hair brushed the cold examination table as Karkat let the scalp settle into its new position.
It's okay, it's not real. This is just a dream. A terrible, horrible dream.
He just has to push through. Just a little longer.
The bone saw purred to life in his hands. The shrill whir of the saw split the tense silence of the examination room as it bit into Dave's skull. The air rapidly filled with the scent of powdered bone, smelling uncomfortably like the shitty corn chips Dave used to scarf down. Karkat vehemently avoided all corn chips since his first anatomy lab when the odor of Fritos threatened to choke every student. It was difficult to enjoy a snack when it was associated with cadavers, after all.
With the skull split, Karkat carefully set the skull cap aside, revealing Dave's brain.
Gently prying the brain from the cranial vault, Karkat took a moment to just...look. His hands tingled where it touched the cold flesh.
Everything that Dave ever was, or ever would be, was cradled in his palms.
Every thought, every emotion, every memory, was just. Right here.
Never again would it come up with the shittiest raps known to man, never again would he make the choice to kiss Karkat.
Never anything, ever again.
No more jokes.
No more smiles.
No more music.
No more soft words murmured in the dark.
Dave's entire human experience, just...over. Left incomplete, left unsatisfied.
Karkat stood rooted to the spot, his world tilting on its axis. He had really believed Dave was still out there. Despite his pain at being abandoned, he found contentment in the idea that Dave was finally out from his brothers shadow, that he finally had a chance to thrive. Karkat fully expected to hear Dave on the radio one day, or to come across his art online. There was so much he had to offer to the world.
The grief was suffocating.
This was so much worse than the day he realized Dave was gone.
The empty desk next to Karkat kept drawing his eyes. Pulling out his phone, he glanced up quickly at the teacher to ensure they were occupied before sending Dave another text.
CG: WHERE ARE YOU
CG: ARE YOU COMING TODAY?
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he sighed. Today was Dave's 18th birthday and he had brought his gift to school to deliver, but Dave was nowhere to be seen. This wasn't like him, he'd normally let Karkat know if he was going to skip.
Class slipped by, the hours flying. Periodically he'd pull his phone back out to check for messages, but...nothing.
CG: YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE SHIT DR. HARLEY WAS SAYING TODAY
CG: HE'S SO FUCKING WEIRD
CG: AS ALWAYS
CG: DID YOU STILL WANT TO HANG OUT TONIGHT
CG: ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY, AFTER ALL
CG: WE SHOULD CELEBRATE
CG: IN FACT, I DEMAND THAT WE DO
CG: DAVE SERIOUSLY
CG: ARE YOU SICK OR SOMETHING?
CG: MESSAGE ME BACK
By the end of the day, Karkat had worked himself into a frenzy. The second the last bell rang, he called his dad. He'd know what to do.
His father picked up on the 2nd ring. "Kiddo? What's wrong? It's the middle of the afternoon."
"Dad, Dave didn't go to school today. He's not answering me either. I'm worried." Despite his determination to keep the panic out of his voice, it wavered through.
The line was quiet for a moment. "Are you sure he's not just sick?" his father asked.
Karkat shook his head before realizing his father wouldn't be able to see it. "No, he would have said something to me by now."
"How about you call his house to check? If you can't get ahold of him, then we'll try something else when I get home, okay?" his father suggested.
Karkat grunted in agreement, hanging up. Dread coiled under his skin. Why wouldn't Dave reach out to him? Even a single word? This wasn't like him, at all.
The radio silence continued for the rest of the school day, the dread and panic threatening to choke him on the walk home. Dozens of potential scenarios whirled through his mind, each more catastrophic than the last. Did his phone shatter? Was he so sick he couldn't move? Did he get in another fight with his brother? Was he hurt? Fuck, what if both of his arms were broken or something?
His feet carried him home without any input. Waiting for him on the front porch was his father, worry etched on his features as well.
His father ruffled his hair affectionately in an attempt to calm Karkat. "Hey, kiddo. Any word?" he asked.
Karkat shook his head, pressing his lips together to keep the anxieties from spilling out and drowning the both of them.
His father sighed. "I see. How about we go check up on him directly?" he suggested.
"Wait...like go to his house?" Karkat asked hesitantly. Dave had never explicitly told him not to come over, but in all the years of knowing him, he had only been over once. Dave usually tried to steer them away from any potential interaction with his brother. But...there weren't a lot of options left at this point. He hadn't heard from Dave since they left the riverbank yesterday afternoon.
Taking a moment to steel his nerves, he nodded.
The drive to Dave's house was a short one. His home was nestled on the edge of town among the trees, the branches draping over the patchy roof. The yard wa
s overgrown, the tangled weeds nearly knee high. Grime stained the exterior of the home. All in all, it was not a welcoming place. Merely stepping out of the car had the small hairs on the back of Karkat's neck raised. The air itself seemed darker, heavier.
His father stepped out of the car, shutting the door firmly and walking around to karkat. Squeezing his shoulder in comfort and giving him a small smile, he nodded his head towards the front door.
The gravel crunched under their shoes as they walked to the front door. Without hesitation, his father rapped his knuckles against the dirty door. There was no immediate answer, but after knocking again, they heard movement inside the home.
The man answering the door was as imposing as Karkat remembered. Towering over the two men, he leaned against the door with a sneer. A scar running along his top lip pulled oddly with the expression, twisting it into a snarl. His entire demeanor dripped with disdain. He didn't speak, merely raised an eyebrow in question.
Karkat's father refused to be intimidated. "Good afternoon. Karkat and I are here to check on Dave. Karkat hasn't heard from him all day."
Bro snorted. "Dave ain't here." he said simply.
"What do you mean he's not here?" Karkat asked. "Where else would he be?"
Bro shrugged. "Not my problem. He wanted out of here so damn bad, now he's gone."
Karkat shook his head in disbelief. "He wouldn't just leave like that. He would've said something!" The dread spiked in his stomach, settling into cold fear.
Bro flicked his eyes to Karkat, his amber eyes boring through as if he was peering inside him. The sneer deepened, air crackling with tension. "You callin' me a liar, kid?"
Karkat's father stepped between them. "No, none of that." He raised his hand in a calming gesture. "No one is accusing you of lying, we are simply concerned for Dave. Do you know where he was heading?"
Bro was quiet for a moment, assessing the two of them as if calculating just how quickly he could dispose of them. Finally he scoffed, standing to his full height. "No. And I don't fuckin' care to know. He's not my goddamn problem now, and if you have any brains in that tiny lil head of yours, you'd wash your hands of him too."
Without waiting for a response, he slipped back into the darkness of his home and slammed the door.
The two of them stood in shock for a moment. Karkat opened his mouth to speak, but a look from his father halted his words. His father shook his head and indicated subtly back to the car. They drove in silence, only speaking once they were parked in the driveway.
Karkat couldn't hold it in any longer. "There's no fucking way! He has to be lying! Dave wouldn't just leave without saying anything to me!" he exploded.
His father nodded slowly, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. "Yes, something isn't right here. Come inside, we'll call the police and file a missing persons report."
They unbuckled quickly, rushing inside. Karkat hovered near his father's side as he made the call, telling them when Dave was last seen and how the encounter with Bro went. They thanked him and promised to look into it after taking his details, and ended the call.
"What now?" Karkat asked, voice small.
His father smiled sadly. "Now we wait. It's all we can do."
On autopilot, Karkat placed the organs back into Dave's body. With each nestled in their original place and the skin folded back over, he began to sew the incision closed. Each loop and stitch feeling like a nail in a coffin, the finality pervading the air.
Dave was sewn back together, but would never again be whole.
He wonders how different things would have been. If the police had taken them seriously. If they had actually taken the time to look for Dave, instead of writing him off as a runaway. If Karkat had pushed just a little bit harder, looked for him longer.
Would those bright red eyes still shine with life?
Would he have had the chance to see the face around them grow? To see the edges of those eyes crinkle with smiles and laughter, the lines deepening with age?
He deserved so much more than this, than to be hurt and tortured and stuffed in a freezer for fifteen fucking years.
His breath shook as he exhaled slowly. He just had to finish, then Dave could finally rest.
"Based on the evidence of defensive wounds, subject was attacked and killed. The amount of blood in the abdominal cavity suggests that the stab wound was not the killing blow. I believe the cause of death to be head trauma." he said into his headset. "This was clearly a case of foul play, and I fully recommend it be further investigated and pursued to the fullest extent of the law."
He clicked off his headset, sliding it off and setting it on the counter. Hands shaking, he cupped Dave's cold cheeks, stroking them softly with his thumbs.
"I'm so sorry, Dave." he murmured. "I'll take him down for this, I swear on my life."
Dave stared straight ahead.
Karkat bit his lip and softly closed his eyes.
He didn't feel quite real as he loaded Dave back into the freezer and latched the door. He couldn't feel his hands as he cleaned his station, wiped away all traces of Dave from the cold metal surface. It didn't even register as he numbly removed his PPE, his body simply following the motions from countless autopsies.
He leaned heavily on his counter, feeling crushed under the weight of his new reality.
Aradia stepped up to him, exhaling heavily and pulling him close. One hand on the back of his head, guiding him to her hair. He held her tightly as she ran a comforting hand through his hair, humming quietly.
"Who was he to you?" she murmured in his ear, swaying him softly.
Karkat buried his nose in her hair, sighing into the curls. "Dave was...everything to me." his throat caught, words held hostage by his sorrow. He squeezed her tightly around her waist, desperate for comfort.
She held him as his body shook with silent sobs. "I don't think you should be alone tonight. Would you like to come to my house? You know my wife always loves to see you."
Karkat nodded, smiling weakly through his tears. "I don't know how good of company I'll be, but yes. Thank you." The idea of going back to his empty apartment to spiral alone was beyond agonizing. He didn't trust himself to not simply drink himself to death in an attempt to drown his despair.
Aradia smiled sadly. "All right. I'll give her a call. Give me a moment to finish up here, I'll clock out early." She stepped away, hands lingering on his shoulders before walking to her station to call her wife.
Karkat couldn't stop staring at the drawer that housed his old friend, his old love.
"I'm just saying that maybe you shouldn't go back, that's all."
Dave and Karkat sat on the bank of the river, their knees pulled up to their chests to fight off the chill, their thighs and shoulders pressed together.
Dave's jaw tightened. "Don't start this shit again, Karkat. I'm serious."
Karkat scowled. "Fuck you, I'm starting it. Why do you have to keep going back when all he does is fuck you up? You'll be eighteen in a few days anyway, it's not like he can make you do anything anymore." His arm wound across Dave's shoulder, holding him tight.
Dave scoffed. "You really think he's gonna just let me go? Even if I left the fucking state he'd track me down."
"But why? I don't understand." Karkat pleaded. "If he hates you so much, why won't he let you go?"
Dave groaned and buried his face in his hands, his fingers tugging at his hair. "Fucking...because he feels like he owns me, dude. If I'm gone, who's gonna clean his stupid fucking house and cook his stupid fucking meals? Who's he gonna beat into the goddamned dirt when he feels frustrated? You think he's just going to give that up? He'd kill me before letting me leave." he ranted, frustrated. "I'm lucky I even get to go to school or hang with you."
Something ugly stirred in Karkat's chest. "That's bullshit, Dave, and you know it. You always say he'd track you down, but you haven't even tried to leave!" he argued.
"Because I don't want to fucking die, Karkat! That's why I haven't tried it! You remember what he did when I spent the night at your house!"
"Just, come live with me! Stay with me and my dad, we'll keep you safe! He won't break into our house to get to you." Karkat insisted, his fingers digging into Dave's shoulder.
Dave jerked away from Karkat, rising to his feet. "Stop and listen to me. For once, just listen to me. He absolutely would, and he would hurt you to do it. You think he'd bat an eye before taking you down? He'd probably fucking enjoy it, too! You know he's had it out for you ever since he accused me of dating you."
"You are dating me, though."
Dave sighed, exasperated. "Yes, obviously. But he can't know that! I mean, fuck, do you think I refuse to hold your hand in public because I'm ashamed of you? No, it's because if he got even a hint of a whiff that I'm gay, that's it. I'd be fucking done. Dead, in the ground before I had a chance to fucking blink. You knew this when we started dating, this is part of the deal."
Karkat's lip quivered as he averted his eyes back to stare at his sneakers. "Yeah, I know. I just...I want you to be happy." he said quietly.
Dave's eyes softened and he lowered himself back down next to Karkat. "...I know." he whispered.
They sat in silence, watching the water rush by as the sounds of the forest filled the air.
Karkat leaned his head on Dave's shoulder. "If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" he asked softly.
Dave hummed, leaning his head against Karkats. "Anywhere? I think...California. I'd sit on the beach all day, learning guitar and painting and shit."
Karkat trailed his fingers over Dave's. "That sounds nice. Would you let me come with you?"
Pressing a kiss to his hair, Dave smiled. "Like I'd go anywhere without you."