Potion of Forget This

by ThatOneWaterCat486

Summary:

After Tango bans the saturated soups and honey bottles from the lobby of his decked out game, Xisuma, Cub, Stress, Grian, and Scar start mixing soups and potions for the pure curiosity of it! Too many combinations and techniques that make each batch of concoctions unique leads to endless exploration, and it seems like with every twist they put on a recipe, the entire thing flips around. More dangerous soups and potions like weakness or poison are handled with care, and everything is going smoothly... until they try to be a little more efficient with their materials and time, and accidentally get a little more careless.

It's a problem of too many cooks in the kitchen, and unfortunately, there are 2 types of grey colored base potions known. Xisuma mixes the wrong one with his experiment.

Xisuma drinks a Bad Soup. He blacks out.

"And uh, one more question..." Xisuma asked. "Who are you?"

Very bad indeed.

Notes:

Uploading because I'm so excited that season 10 has started! Sure this is season 9 but haha ignore that! Sorry that i finally have motivation to post more and its not smells like coffee or tastes like coffee- i'll get to them when i'm less overwhelmed with work! Enjoy some Xisuma hurt/comfort in the meantime!

Chapter 1: A Mix and Match Made in Hell

“I know Tango already banned these soups and honey's, but I’m really just curious on how far we can take this.” Xisuma said. “I knew they had good saturation, but my, I didn’t know how many combinations there were to these things!”

 

“It sure is fascinating.” Cub said. “I wonder if one of these will work better than the cup of coffee I missed this morning.”

 

“Trial and error my friend!” Xisuma smiled. 

 

“More like trial and observation.” Cub corrected. “We’re learning a lot of new things, even if we don’t find a substitute for my caffeine addiction.”

 

“I wish we didn’t spend so much time on getting that blasted cow just for you to have beaten us to it.” Grian pouted, stirring a convocation of his own. “I felt so smart! Just for the idea! You had already gone ahead and done it!” Grian huffed. His current soup in progress was vaguely aimed to flip gravity for an individual, mixing a floating potion with a jump boost soup, made with cornflowers.

 

“Great minds think alike!” Xisuma laughed. “And at least this lovely lady-” He gestured to the mooshroom cow lazily eating mushrooms in the corner in her cute fenced area. “-gets to help us experiment!”

 

“Better than her friend's fate.” Grian mumbled under his breath. “Nether portals are the absolute worst.”

 

“Agreed.” Scar chimed in. “The headaches? The colors? Nasty. All of it.”

 

“Well, the nether hub is nice, I have to say.” Stress said. “I know I've been off-world for a lot of the season, but it's absolutely gorgeous! Tango ‘elped on it didn’t ‘e?”

 

“I believe so? He had help from a few others I think, but it was his vision. And he made the most of the hub part of it.” Xisuma recalled. 

 

“He's done a lot this season, that's for sure.” Cub chuckled. “Maniac, he is.”

 

“As if you aren’t one.” Scar teased. “Bunch of amazin’ wackos on this server.”

 

“Which flower did you feed her this time?” Xisuma asked as he grabbed a bowl, milking her for the suspicious stew. 

 

“A poppy, and then one of those new ones..” Scar said. “Y’know, the ones the snifferes find?”

 

“Does giving her one after the other change anything?” Stress asked. “I’ve dealt with potions plenty, but stews aren’t my expertise.”

 

“I’m not sure.” Cub shrugged. “I guess we can do some tests to find out. See how many flowers we can combine. How many combinations there are.”

 

“Someone should write a book on this sometime.” Grian said. “Lists and lists of the combinations and what they do.”

 

“That's what we’re doing my friend!” Cub smiled. “Still on the research portion of it though. I might have someone more eloquent make an official book once we have a decent list of potions and functions.”

 

Xisuma set the bowl on the table and picked up the potion next to it. They had been mixing a few stews with slowness to see if that could extend the saturation longer, or just made the player slow instead, and had mixed results thus far. 

 

Poppies and dandelions mixed with slowness made the saturation last longer, but only if poppy stew was mixed with slowness ahead of time, and then added to the dandelion, and there were just so many combinations on both the types of ingredients, and the order they were mixed in. If feeding the cow multiple flowers at was was different than just mixing the stews, or drinking multiple stews, then they would simply have too many end results to explore! Of course they had milk on hand for the more dangerous combinations, because while respawn was on, it could be painful and need lasting recoveries depending on the death, and none of them wanted to go through that. Mixes like strength stew and poison potion were a mix of loopy painkillers that were an interesting find, so it was worth it to experiment with less loved soups. 

 

Xisuma poured the gray liquid in, mixed it around, and brought the bowl to his lips. His mask had been removed for a while now, because everyone had agreed to set the air in the chunk they were occupying to end air for a short while for his comfort, and it felt nice to be around people without the tinted visor between them. 

 

He finished the bowl quickly, ready to write down his findings as soon as the potion kicked in, when Cub gave him a concerned look. 

 

“Wait- wait, that was a weakness potion.” He said seriously. “That wasn’t slowness, Xisuma. We haven’t mixed anything with weakness yet.”

 

“Oh..” Xisuma mumbled, starting to feel a little dizzy as black spots clouded his vision. His head felt very faint all of a sudden, and couldn’t really feel his legs as he felt his body lose some of his awareness of his balance. He tried to crouch down so he wouldn’t fall so hard, while also trying to express the fact that he was about to faint to the group. 

 

“Whoops.” His knees buckled, and Scar, the closest to him, was holding his weight up in an instant, but he couldn’t really feel the hold Scar had on him. 

 

Panicked gasps and “XISUMA!”’s rang out in the room, but he couldn’t hear more than a soupy whistle bouncing round his skull. It kinda hurt a lot. He blacked out. 

 

---

“Was it the air?” A low voice asked, with a voice crack in the middle of it. “Do you think?”

 

“The air is still End air.” Someone with a more monotone voice answered. It sounded concerned. 

 

“We need to call someone-” The low voice said hurriedly.

 

“Who?! Xisuma is the one we’d usually call!” A panicked squeaky voice exclaimed too loudly. 

 

“Stress, do you know anything-?” The monotone voice asked. 

 

“Weakness shouldn’t have made him pass out! And we already know the recipe for sleeping potions- this isn’t that. I- I don't know.”

 

“What do we do?”

His head hurt- void his head hurt . 

 

A groan came from somewhere, and he took him a second to recognize the rumble from his own chest. The material under him was stiff and uncomfortable, and he reasoned that maybe he had hit his head? Maybe that's why everything hurt so much?

 

He shifted a little, groaning more, and savored the sweet relief of someone standing under the lights, shielding his eyes from whatever had been blinding him through his eyelids.

 

“Oh! Oh! He’s moving!” The squeaky voice said again. Whoever it was was too loud. The silhouette above him moved, and the light was back to blinding him through his eyelids. The light in the room was too loud. The boards creaking next to him as people moved around him were too loud. 

 

“Wh’ts…” He hissed as he creaked an eye open. And the light was as bright as he expected, and his eyes felt too dry to close again comfortably. The shadows were there again, and someone was behind him, helping him up as he tried to sit up with his shaky elbows propping his upper body up.

 

“Shh shhh take it easy, take it easy.” A feminine voice told him, and he obliged, trying to blink his eyes open gradually. 

 

“How are you feeling, Luv?” The same voice said in front of him. 

 

“Uhh… awful…” He mumbled as his raspy voice rattled out the words. “What happened?” He asked. 

 

His body was swaying, but a presence next to him kept him from falling over, which he was grateful for. 

 

“You drank a bad soup.” Someone answered. “A bad soup indeed.”

 

He put effort into moving his head towards the voice, but he was still blinking the black spots from his eyes too much to take in details of their appearance. Everything was fuzzy.

 

“Right.” He hated how heavy his tongue felt in his mouth. “Right.” He repeated, just to make sure he could. “And uh-” His throat also felt kinda sticky and sore, longer phrases were harder than single words. “Where am I?”

 

The person who was supporting him shifted, as the silence dragged on, and the atmosphere felt a little stiffer, like he had said the most confusing thing in the world. 

 

“Xisuma, you’re in a makeshift lab near your base.” Oh cool. That's what his name was. “ Ih-Zoo-mah.” It felt weird to have to think about it, but it was a comfortable weight in his mind. He liked the sound of it. “ Ih-Zoo-mah.”

“Uh huh.” Xisuma whispered. He blinked his eyes more rapidly, trying to clear the blur, and looked at the few other people in the room with him. The feminine voice was from a lady in pink, kneeling in front of him, and it seemed like the shadow was from a parrot hybrid with a bright red sweater, standing towards the side. He couldn’t see the person next him very well, but that was okay, he was sure he’d be able to look at them later. The person talking for the most part had square glasses resting on the bridge of their nose, and they had a pristine white lab coat over a tucked in black shirt. Bear-like ears poked out from their black hair, and overall, they seemed like a very high-class sort of person. Xisuma dubbed them as the one in charge, then. 

 

“And uh, one more question...” Xisuma swallowed, and blinked his eyes a few times before squinting at the one in charge. His head pounded, but he needed answers before he could ask for something to sooth that, from these seemingly nice people. 

 

“Who are you?”

Chapter 2: He’d say thanks for the memories but he seems to have lost his.

Summary:

A STRANGE NEW WORLDDDDDDDD~~~

Notes:

my chapter titles are funny and i want you to laugh at them. smol chap.

 

Xisuma looked up at the strangers with a severe headache and a lot of confusion. They all looked worried, but he was too dizzy to even think about trying to figure out why, and when one of them started talking to him, he had to focus all of his attention onto trying to decipher the words.  

 

“Xisuma…. Do you not know who we are?” The one in charge said slowly. 

 

“Did he hit his head?” The parrot hybrid with the squeaky voice from earlier asked. 

 

“No I caught him-” The one next to him said. Xiuma noticed he was wearing a cat ear headband now, and had a cane laying by his hand. Was it rude to dub him ‘catboy’? “I put him on the floor gently, I swear!”

 

“We need to call-” The parrot started rambling. “Would Doc know? He does weird server breaking things. Or Joe? Or Pearl? Pearl is good with soups-”

 

“Grian, luv.” The pink one said. Ok, so the parrot was Grian, or Grain, or something. “Calm down, ok? We don’t want to overwhelm Xisuma, and panicking is not going to help the situation.”

 

“What should we do?” Grian asked desperately.

 

“Hey Xisuma.” The one in charge said, looking at Xisuma to silently tell him the phrase was directed at him. “You don’t remember who we are, correct?”

 

“Uh.. yeah… no.” Xisuma answered eloquently. “Can you guys turn the lights down or something?” He asked slowly. “Kinda hurting my head.”

 

Grian, clearly needing something to do to keep himself from freaking out more, jumped at the opportunity and hit the lights on his side of the room quickly, and Xisuma let his shoulders slump a little at the instant relief it brought. The windows still had light, and the-... the weird looking lab stuff kinda glowed, which was extra weird of it, but it was significantly better. 

 

“Thanks… Grian was it?”

 

Grian swallowed. “Y- yeah.”

 

“Xisuma, do you know where we are?” The one in charge said. 

 

“Uhm…” Xisuma looked around. “A lab? I think?”

 

“And do you know where this lab is located?”

 

Xisuma’s head hurt, and the ache was fading, but he still resented these questions that made him think and made it throb a little more each time. “I would assume a server? Isn’t that how these things work?”

 

“Do you…” They paused to inhale. “Do you know what this server is called?”

 

Everyone looked at him with bated breaths. The silence was dreadful, and it was obvious everyone was afraid. Of what? He wasn’t sure, but the question still seemed much more important than it sounded. 

 

Xisuma tried to remember this server, how he got here, the names of a single person near him- a single person he’d ever known -, his own name spoken by others, what he looked like, his family- if he had one…

 

And a sharp pain gave him a headache when he thought too hard for too long. He couldn’t remember anything. He was completely lost, in a room with people he was supposed to know, in a place he was supposed to know…..

 

His breathing picked up and he sharply inhaled. 

 

Xisuma had lost his memory. 

 

He had no idea where he was. Or who he was with, or what happened. The reality of the situation finally dawned on him. 

 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, a single tear falling down his face. “I don’t.”

 

If his headache didn’t kill him, the painful silence of the room would. 

 

“Maybe this will wear off? The other potions- well most of them-” The person behind him started rambling. It felt desperate. 

 

“I’m telling you we need to call someone.” Grian said again. “We’re out of our league with this mixing potions non-sense!”

 

“Who can we even call?” The one in charge said. “The only hermit who would even have a remote idea of what to do has forgotten his own name.”

 

“I was the one who made the weakness-” The one next to him said, voice cracking. “It's my- my fault.”

 

“Scar it is not your fault.” The one in charge said. Ok, so the catboy was named Scar it seemed. “You couldn’t have known- none of us could’ve known this would happen. 

 

It was all getting very loud, very fast, and Xisuma was quickly feeling overwhelmed. He couldn’t understand most of the conversation, and even though it was darker, his headache was growing again. He winced when Scar’s voice raised, and the pink lady in front of him seemed to notice. 

 

“Hey, come with me.” She told him, standing up and offering her hand. He didn’t know who she was, but her tone was soft, and anything she was offering had to be less of a headache than what the other three were arguing about. She helped him stand up, and the talking died down as he got to his shaky feet and followed her to a corner of a room with a few chairs. 

 

“Hi luv, this all must be pretty confusing, huh?” She said kindly. 

 

“Yeah.” He admitted. He didn’t know how to express that he was starting to panic as well with the rising tensions in the room and the realization that he couldn’t remember anything from before he woke up, but she seemed to understand anyhow. 

 

“My name is Stress Monster, but you may call me Stress.” She spoke softly and slowly, and Xisuma was nothing if not grateful for it. “The one in the red sweater is Grian, the one wearing the cat ears is Scar, and the one in the lab coat is Cub. Don’t be afraid to ask for names if you-” She caught herself on her phrasing. “If you forget them. Okay?”

 

“Forget them again,” He added depressingly.

 

“Yes luv.” Stress said with soft despair. “I know this is all overwhelming, but things are going to be okay.”

 

He nodded slightly. 

 

“I just need you to trust me, and I know that's a scary thing, to trust someone who’s a stranger, but we’re all only here to help.”

 

“What happened to me?”

 

“We were testing potion and suspi- and magical stew combinations.” She dumbed-down the explanation for him. “And you drank one that had you black out, and woke up without your memory.” She explained. “We’re just as lost as you are, but we’re going to figure out a plan, and just take things one step at a time. Alright luv?” She asked. 

 

He liked the way she called him “Luv”. It didn't feel familiar, unfortunately, but it felt safe and warm, and he decided he liked it, and would trust this woman. 

 

“Ok.” He nodded. 

 

“Are you lot done bickering over there?” She called over more loudly, but with the warning of her cupping one hand to shout, it didn’t feel as startling. 

 

“We weren’t-” Grian started, but she raised an eyebrow, and he promptly shut up. “We’ve talked it out , yes.” He chose to say instead. 

 

“And the plan?”

 

“We’re going to tell the chat about what happened, and specifically call Cleo, Joe, Doc, and Pearl about the predicament, so we can see if they have any clues or solutions.” Grian stated. 

 

Stress raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to tell the entire server at once about this issue? Do you know how many hermits would come running, even if we asked them not to?”

 

“That's what I said, man.” Cub chimed. 

 

“We can’t just leave them in the dark- this can’t be a secret.” Grian argued.

 

“We’re not leaving them in the dark.” Stress stated firmly. “We are asking a few hermits for help, as you said, sorting out the details with a crowd that won’t overwhelm him, and then we can tell everyone, and ask for more help, if the problem hasn’t been solved quickly.” She said. 

 

Xisuma knew the problem was his amnesia, and not him exactly, but his mind kept twisting the words wrong to make it sting more than it should. 

 

“Fine. But if word leaks out, and several hermits break down the door claiming we lied to them, it’s not my fault.”

 

“We are trying to avoid hermits breaking down the door by staving off the announcement.” Cub pressed.

 

“By lying.” 

 

“By withholding information until we know no one will panic, like we did at first. We need to be rational about this.” 

 

“By keeping the truth from them. By lying.”

 

“Grian.” Scar started. “Drop it- please.” He pleaded, looking away to avoid eye contact. Grian faltered, but slumped his shoulders, and gave up his fighting. He stayed silent, but the decision was clear. 

 

Cub ordered them on what to say and who to call, and then they each took a few calls in separate corners of the room. Stress stayed back with Xisuma, who was trying his hardest to stay calm and understand the information being passed around. 

“Ok Xisuma,” Stress got his attention. “You’re about to meet a lot of people who all know you, but with your memory…. As it is…” She danced around the subject, and it was uncomfortable, but Xisuma knew mentioning it head on would feel more like a gut punch. “.. it might be overwhelming. Just come over to one of us if it gets to be too much, and we’ll slow things down. We’re going to get this figured out, and it doesn’t have to be rushed and scary.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Of course, luv.” She put a hand on his shoulder. It was warm and stabilizing. “Everyone here cares about you, but sometimes they might forget that this is going to be a lot for you. If speaking up is hard, just come to me. I’ll understand. 

 

Xiusma swallowed and nodded. He didn’t know what was going to happen, or who was going to show up, and do what. But at least this kind woman would be there, and he could try to stick close to her until these strangers made a plan and found a solution. 

 

Chapter 3: Names and nonsense…. Hmm where have I heard that before?

Summary:

Xisuma meets some cool strangers. some cool family.

It took a while for the first person to show up. It was a red haired woman, and Stress whispered next to him that her name was Cleo. There were a lot of names to remember already, but he was trying his best. 

 

“Xisuma.” She spotted him immediately. He looked at her and marveled at her shining green eyes, nearly glowing in the low light they had kept down for his headache. 

 

“I heard- did you, you- do- ” She was falling over her words, and took a breath to let herself organize her thoughts more coherently. “Do you know who I am?”

 

“Stress told me your name is Cleo.” He admitted. Stress nodded next to him. “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you.”

 

“Oh. Oh ok. That’s lovely innit-” She said. Her breaking voice didn’t really carry it, but he felt like that was sarcasm. He felt like dark or sarcastic humor was maybe her coping method. “Ok. Well uhm- uh. You said potions right? And memory loss? I’ve really only dabbled in the time stuff- I can try to find-” Cleo rambled. 

 

“Cleo, mom,” Scar said. Xisuma was slightly confused, as they looked nothing alike, and looked somewhat similar in ages. Maybe it was an adoption thing, or aging was different for one of them. “Take a second, ok?”

 

“I’m fine, Scar.” She brushed off. “The sooner I find a cure- the sooner.” She didn’t finish her sentence. 

 

The silence didn't have time to stretch on, for long as she breathed purposefully to calm down. The dark room hid her tears easily behind her frizzy hair, but the glow of the lab equipment let Xisuma catch the light of a falling droplet, and Xisuma felt heartbroken for a stranger. 

 

“Joes grabbing books.” She whispered. “He’ll be here soon.” She told them. “If he can’t find- maybe Scott knows something? Or Lizzy? I know they can’t easily get here- but it's an option- if we need...Because Scoot’s weird, and Lizzie had some memory issues at one point I think…”

 

The door opened quickly, half-startling Xisuma, who whipped his head towards the strangers. Everyone had been kind so far, but he was still slightly on edge. He felt like he could only solidly trust Stress, and maybe that Scar guy that helped him sit up, but anyone else entering could be dangerous. Cleo seemed nice too, if her crying over the state of things was anything to go by, but he didn’t know her more than that. 

 

“Pearl! We said don’t tell anyone!” Grian exclaimed as a second person followed her in.

 

“He was with me when I got the call!” She defended. “It's not like I could just ditch him and leave like that. He heard some of it.”

 

“How much of it?” Grian asked. 

 

“Enough, Griba. Enough.” 

 

“Shiswammy?” The person asked towards him. Xisuma had gathered context clues that the woman was “Pearl” but he didn’t know who this was. Stress was comforting Cleo a few feet away, so he didn’t have her to give him names. 

 

“Uhm- I thought my name was Xisuma?”

 

“Y- yes. It is.” They said sorrowfully, “Shis- Zooma. Xisuma.” They corrected themself. “Do you remember anything about Hermitcraft?”

 

“Uh-” Xisuma felt horribly put on the spot. “....What's Hermitcraft?”

 

“Oh Shiswammy.” They said softly, eyes brimming with tears. Xisuma didn’t feel like correcting them again. “It's your server, Shishwam. We’re on Hermitcraft right now.”

 

“He doesn’t remember anything, Keralis.” Cub said. “We already asked him those questions. He's not playing any sort of prank.”

 

“I know.” Keralis wiped his eyes with his arm. “My Shiswam doesn't play cruel pranks.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Xisuma felt like he needed to say something. “I’m sorry I can’t remember. I’m trying-” His head stung again, and he winced, the discomfort clear on his face. 

 

“Don’t hurt your pretty head, sweetface.” The person said. They wiped some more tears away sloppily, and Xisuma felt awful. “It's no- not your fault. My name is Keralis. It's nice to meet you, Shishwam.”

 

“Nice to-” Xisuma could barely bring himself to mumble the words. His chest felt tight. “Meet you too…”

 

As his conversation with this Keralis person died off, Xisuma was able to hear the argument that had started across the room. It wasn’t that big of a space. It wasn’t that difficult to hear. 

 

“Well I’m just saying it's a possibility-”

 

“We don’t want to make it worse Pearl-” Grian argued. 

 

“Worse?” Cleo scoffed, wiping at her eyes, unbothered at how her mascara smudged across her face. “He doesn’t know this is Hermitcraft! He’s at factory-reset already, it's not like his memory could be worse.”

 

It felt uncomfortable to be talked about like he wasn’t there, but he tried to focus on how they were just trying to help him. Even if their voices were loud, and they seemed awfully bad at communicating calmly or working together. He was surprised that the one in charge- No. His name was Cub - wasn’t taking the lead, but with so many people in the room, he seemed to have stepped down from that position. 

 

“The combinations have already been proven to be dangerous- they could hurt him in other ways!” Grian said. 

 

“And if we test them instead?” 

 

“Then another one of us could lose our memories, or worse!” Grian said. “We already lost our leader, and we’re falling apart. We need everyone to be safe so we can all find a cure.” 

 

Xisuma zoned in on the word “leader”. Was he their…- or did they mean someone else?

 

“Then why did you not tell the server?” Keralis asked from the side quietly. They paused their argument to look at him. “You need everyone’s help, but you didn’t even want me here? You didn’t want to tell me about Shishwam-” He voice broke, and he couldn’t finish his sentence. 

 

“ I wanted to tell everyone.” Grian frowned. 

 

Stress took Keralis’s hand, and led him a few feet away. “We can’t tell everyone, or just like you, they’ll come running.” She explained softly. “Of course we want to tell everyone, but that would be incredibly overwhelming for Xisuma, and we want to see if we can find a quick simple solution first before we throw everyone into a panic. Alright, luv?”

 

Keralis nodded. 

 

“Just be patient. Everythings going to work out.” She told him. She said it so surely, that Xisuma himself believed it. Everything was confusing and loud, and a little terrifying, but maybe if he stuck by Stress, things would work out as she said they would. 

 

She was much shorter than Keralis, but still tucked him into a hug somehow, letting him get his sniffles out. 

 

Xisuma made the mistake of glancing at her face, and saw an exhausted fearful expression. Oh. She was lying to comfort him. She was terrified too. 

 

Oh. 

 

The group continued to argue about soup-themed solutions while Xisuma struggled to keep track of who was talking and what was being said. He was sure he had forgotten a few names already, and the names of other people being tossed around just flew over his head. 

 

It was starting to feel a little suffocating in the room, with so many people there, and talking, but he didn’t know how to speak up to voice that. 

 

The man with the cane and cat ears walked near him, taking a seat by on the chair next to his. 

 

“Sorry, my joints are giving me some trouble for standing for so long. I just have to sit for a while.” They said casually, rolling their shoulders back as they got comfortable.  

 

“What was your name again?” Xisuma asked. “I’m sorry- I’m losing track-”

 

“My name’s Scar.” They interrupted his apologizing rambles. “Scar Goodtimes.”

 

“Nice to uh- meet you.” Xisuma said awkwardly. He looked back to the group, who seemed to be in deep discussion about soups and potions and maybe time travel? It was hard to tell, because it was so overwhelming. 

 

“Are they always like this?” Xisuma asked in a whisper.

 

“This motivated? Or this…” Scar waved his hand as he searched for the right word. “Loud?”

 

“Both.” Xisuma said. “This disorganized.”

 

“Yes, yes, and no.” Scar chuckled. “In that order. Normally they have a leader to organize group discussion. It makes things- well, more organized. But they’re still loud. And they’re still motivated.”

 

“Ahh, I see.” Xisuma swallowed. “And I assume… I was that leader?”

 

“Eh sometimes.” Scar shrugged, which wasn’t the answer Xisuma was expecting. “Sometimes Grian makes a good leader too, when he isn’t so emotional.”

 

“Is he-... because of me?”

“He's not so great at crying.” Scar answered quietly, like it was a secret. “Unfortunately, he’s really good at being angry. Revenge. The likes. Even when everyone is trying to figure out the same thing.”

 

“Ah.” Xisuma acknowledged eloquently. He looked around the room, and noticed a few people were missing. Stress and the one that kept calling him the wrong name, and uh- Pearl was her name? Or Cleo? The one who had been talking with the parrot hybrid- his name is Grian!! -  a lot. 

 

“Are they ever going to make a plan then?” Xisuma asked. “I’m not sure if I really can.”

 

“They’ve each made their own plan already.” Scar sighed. “They just can’t pick one right now.”

 

“Oh.” Xisuma said. “What's going to happen then?”

 

“I’ve seen them on the battlefield.” Scar reminisced, seemingly avoiding the question. “I’ve seen each one of them fight, up close, and I know they’ll wear themselves out soon. And then they’ll find a solution, more calmly, when arguing feels more pointless.”

 

“Even uh- your mom?”

 

Scar looked at him with a confused look before his eyes shot open. “Oh! Cleo? You heard me call her mom, huh?”

 

“Yeah- is she not..?”

 

“It's a bit of a running joke.” He explained. “In a-.. In a game we were playing, on another server, me and another person called her mom to annoy her, and it kind of stuck. She hated it at first, but I think it grew on her a little. She says I’m her favorite.” He beamed. 

 

“Heh, that's nice. To have a found family like that.” Xisuma hummed. “Do I uh.. Do I have a family?”

 

“Everyone on hermitcraft is family, X.” Scar said. “Do you mind if I call you X? A lot of people do, but if-”

 

“X is fine.” Xisuma said. “And you said… everyone is family? Even me?”

 

“Especially you. You’re our admin. You're our family.” 

 

Xisuma felt himself tearing up. “I'm sorry. I’m sorry I can’t remember you.”

 

Scar shuffled his chair over right up next to Xisuma’s, and let Xisuma title his head onto his shoulder as he cried quietly. 

 

Xisuma once knew these people. These motivated, loud, kind people. And he was part of their family. And he couldn’t even remember their names. 

 

Some time passed and Xisuma had gotten his crying under control while the others spoke in low voices about what to do next. Smaller groups had formed to discuss what they knew and what they could try, and Xisuma could only sit back and watch it all. People kept glancing at him, then looking away when he made awkward eye contact with them, and he was so uncomfortably out of place here. Scar was at least nice enough to keep him company, but the constant reminder that he was supposed to recognize him , was nagging his brain nearly as much as being left out. 

 

“Howdy ya’ll.” A new voice came into the room. Cub, Keralis, and Stress were back again as well, and looked over to the new stranger. He had a section of his hair dyed a neon green, and neon green fishnet fingerless glove to match. If Xisuma had thought the people around him had looked unique so far, this person took it up a level. 

 

“Sorry my travel time was so long.” He tipped his head in a short nod. “A found a good number of books, and couldn’t fly with them easily.” He glanced at Xisuma quickly, and then looked at the rest of the group. “I’m not sure how many answers we’ll find, but this doesn’t need to be rushed. We can accumulate our knowledge, and what we read, and go through trial and error until our dear Xisuma’s memory is what it once was.”

 

“Should we… just start reading then?” Pearl asked. The conversations had died out a little, it seemed as if Scar was right about them losing the energy to argue. 

 

“If y'all have another solution to try first, may you lead us.” Joe said. “But if not, or if no conclusion on a plan has been reached yet, this is what we have to learn from.”

 

“The more experimental ideas we thought of should be saved for tomorrow.” Cub said with a nod. “We should all take a book home, read it, and come back tomorrow with anything we’ve found. If we’re empty handed again, we tell the main chat of the situation, and go from there.”

 

The room was in mutual agreement. People started taking books, and there were extras, so some people with smaller ones took a second. In the hussle, the door slammed open, and a very tall person with 4 legs jumped in the room. 

 

Xisuma flinched back, the only one in the room to do so, and stared at the stranger. 

“I’m sorry-” The creeper, as Xisuma could tell, panted in a thick accent Xisuma didn’t recognize. “I’m late-” He took a deep breath, trying to calm his heart rate. “I fell in the middle of my perimeter, and had to climb out with nothing but the slimes I could kill with a stick. It was rough.”

 

Now that sounded like a story to tell, and Xisuma only started in awe, while others only winced in sympathy. 

 

“How is..” The creeper said as his eyes traveled across the room. He stopped when his gaze landed on Xisuma, and Xisuma stared at the red glowing eye on one side of his face, which was also covered with metal. Including the journey here, this guy seemed like he had a million stories to tell. 

 

Xisuma felt a little awkward as this guy just stared at him, and tried to look away to ease the uncomfort. He didn’t know why, but he really didn’t like being stared at. 

 

“So it’s true..” The creeper-cyborg said. “You look like you’ve never seen me before.” 

 

Xisuma frowned and twisted his hands in his lap. He was quickly aware of the height differences, added to the fact he was sitting down, and felt like the smallest thing in the room, everyone around him analyzing him like he was under a microscope. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

They sighed, and tried to smile at him. “It’s not your fault, my friend. My name is Doc Monster, but you can call me Doc.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Xisuma said, trying to burn the name in his brain to remember it. 

 

“I think I forgot to introduce myself earlier.” The neon green one said. “I’m Joe Hills from Nashville Tennessee. Call me Joe.”

 

“Nice to meet you as well.”

 

“Joe, you’re the sole admin currently.” Doc said, facing Joe. “I know it's asking a lot, but could you grant me access to the server logs? I think I'd be a bigger help scanning through those than anything else. I’m not the fastest reader in English. Logs are easier.”

 

“Yeah- yeah I'd say this counts as an emergency.” Joe said. “Just do so carefully. Have a steady hand.”

 

“I have the steadiest.” Doc said, and Xisuma expected him to say how it was because he was a doctor or something, but not the phrase Doc spoke next.

 

“I programmed it that way.” He finished, patting his metal arm.

 

Xisuma's eyes went wide, and he stared in blatant awe. He was in front of someone incredibly smart, if they made an entire mechanical arm for themselves. Seemingly with only one good arm to do so. 

 

“Don’t overwork yourself, searching.” Joe patted Doc’s shoulder. “Everyone here needs to take care of themselves so we can figure this out. An exhausted hermit is not a helpful one. Get rest, take care of each other. He needs us to.”

 

Xisuma didn’t know how to react when everyone stared at him, or just glanced, trying not to stare, and he felt himself shrinking slightly under their gazes. 

 

“Before we all leave, I need you all to promise to keep this a secret.” Cub spoke out. “I know it feels like we are lying to our friends, to our family, but we are going to tell them all tomorrow, when even the sleep deprived hermits are more likely to be level headed and listen to us.” Cub stepped towards Xisuma. “I’m going to be blunt. Xisuma has lost his memory. He doesn’t remember any of us, or any of Hermitcraft. Things are difficult for all of us, but things are the most confusing for him.” Cubs glasses titled in a way that let Xisuma see his eyes instead of just the reflection of the dim lights. Xisuma saw a softer look in them. “We don’t want to overwhelm... You .”

 

“Thank you.” Xisuma whispered. “This is.. A lot. But I feel like I was very lucky to know such kind people before.”

 

“We love you, Shishwam. Memory or not, you’re still our friend.” The one who called him nicknames- Right! Keralis ! - said. 

 

“I think I trust you guys.” Xisuma said honestly. “I must’ve been the luckiest person in the world.”

 

After the sentiment that had Keralis barely tearing up again, and had others swallowing down emotions until their throats hurt so they could get home with clear vision. 

 

Xisuma stood up, pressing his palm to his head at the immediate headache, and wobbled over to the table with two books left. He picked up the one closer to him, with gold lettering indented on the magenta hardcover. 

 

The history and discovery of potions

 

“Oh, you don’t have to take a book.” Joe said, “You’ve had a long day.”

 

“I feel like my day has just started.” Xisuma joked, and Joe actually smiled at it. “And I want to help figure out what's wrong with me.” Xisuma added, smoothing his hand over the cover. “As long as I haven't forgotten to read, that is.”

 

That would surely make this predicament more difficult.” Joe joked back. Xisuma noticed he used a lot of fancy words. He wished so desperately that it felt familiar. He wished he recognized the tone and sound of voice of this person he logically knew was a dear friend. Xisuma smoothed his hand over the book again, reading the title again. He could read it, and so he could probably understand a lot of the book, meaning he could take notes and possibly help the hermits learn something new. It was wishful thinking, but he wasn’t about to just cope with his new life. He was going to work hard to get what he had back. Either his memory, or the complications of strangers that he would have to learn how to call friends again. 

 

“I would surely hope it only gets easier from here.” Xisuma mumbled loud enough for Joe to hear. “The thing about bedrock is….” He trailed off. 

 

He forgot how the rest of that saying went. Knowing the first half was a revelation in itself, but he couldn’t remember the rest. That was disappointing. 

 

“You can only go up.” Joe finished for him. “Unless you’re a Mr. Impulse SV.” He chuckled. 

 

Xisuma looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Joe smiled fondly. “You’ll meet him again. He knows how to break bedrock.” He explained.

 

Xisuma could only stare in awe. Who had he been, to be in the presence of such incredible people?

 

He looked at the cover of the book again and nodded to himself, a silent promise to do everything he could to get his memory back. One way or another, he was going to figure out who he was. 

Notes:

you should comment that would be sooooo cool of you <3

Chapter 4: Putting the hospitality in- wait wait SCARLAND IS NOT A HOSPITAL YOU FOOLS

Summary:

Xisuma goes to Scarland. Drinks Tea with 2 sugar cubes and Nothing Else.

(scar really is just advertising scarland in this one huh.)

Notes:

Brought to you by the fact i have to wait until other people finish scrabble before i can go home to work. because i was dumb and agreed to it on the spot when asked to. one of them just went out and got ice cream and came back. ughhhhhh.

A few hermits, as Xisuma had learned to call them, had to head out before it got dark. They had a hard time explaining it, but something about needing to get home before dangerous creatures attacked them, which only happened when they didn’t sleep for a while. It didn’t really make sense, but Xisuma nodded along anyway. He knew about servers, and what reading was, and the fact that bedrock existed, so why couldn’t he remember these seemingly common monsters lurking in the night? They felt like a pretty important part of life to have forgotten.  

 

“Where should I uh- stay? For the night?” Xisuma asked the remaining hermits. “So those monsters they were talking about, maybe don’t attack me?”

 

It was clear he had said something a little off, based on the subtle looks the others were pretty bad at hiding, but no one corrected him either. It was a little frustrating, being left in the dark for everything, but he figured they just didn’t have time to explain everything to him like he was a child. He sure felt like one, being helpless and confused. 

 

“Yeah, you should probably stay with one of us, for safety reasons.” Grian though aloud. “Who do you want to stay with?”

 

Xisuma looked at Stress hopefully, the one he trusted most thus for, and frowned when she looked apologetic immediately. 

 

“I’m sorry luv, but I’ve been off server for most of this season. My base doesn’t have a guest room, nor proper protections and light in the surrounding area.”

 

“Oh- ok..”

 

“He could stay at Scarland?” Scar offered. “There's plenty of rooms, and a chunk or two can be easily set to End air if Doc or Joe tags along for a minute.”

 

“End air?” Xisuma titled his head, what's that?”

“Oh-” Grains’s voice caught. The entire group looked shocked and slightly horrified. “It's uh-...” He paused to figure out his phrasing. “It’s the air you need to breathe properly, X.”

 

“And you all…” Xisuma connected the dots slowly. “You don’t need this End air?”

 

“We can breathe it, but no, we don’t need it to live.” Grian said. “It's thinner, so it's as if we were at a very high elevation in the overworld, which is where we are now. We can’t exercise in it, or we’d faint most likely. It's not enough oxygen for most of us.”

 

“Oh.” Xisuma said. “If I can’t breathe the normal air-”

 

“ Overworld air.” Grian corrected. 

 

“-then how am I supposed to get to scer-lin scer land-”

 

“Scar-Land.” Grian helped him.

 

“How am I supposed to get to Scarland?”

 

“We set this chunk to end air, so you wouldn’t need it...” Grian turned around, and grabbed something from the counter top Xisuma hadn’t noticed this whole time. “But normally, you wear this.”

He held out a helmet that looked like a biker gang helmet, with a few more ridges and compartments. 

 

“A helmet that filters the air into something breathable for you.”

 

Xisuma took it gently, and looked at his eyes in the reflection of the visor. The glass was tinted, he couldn’t tell what color they were. 

 

He didn’t remember ever wearing it, but his hands moved on their own, flipping it around and putting it on like he was sure he had done before a thousand times. It slid over his head more easily than he expected it to, and it didn’t catch over his nose. When he twisted it a little to make sure it was facing correctly, it felt natural. Something clicked into place, and he heard machines whirring to life before the sound dimmed down and faded to background noise. 

 

The panels on the inside lit up, and he jumped back. 

 

“Ah- must be a lot huh.” A gruff voice said behind him. The helmet was lighter than it looked, but it still took a little getting used to the difference of weight on his head, and it felt weird to spin around and see who was talking. It was the cool creeper, Doc, talking. 

 

“There's a lot of.. Lights?”

 

“You showed me how to change that from the outside once.” Doc said. “May I…?”

 

“Please.” Xisuma answered. 

 

A click of a button later, near where his left ear would be on the outside, the lights were all gone, and the helmet functioned as normal. It felt a lot less overwhelming. 

 

Doc gently lifted Xisuma’s hand loosely so he could pull away if he wanted, and guided his fingers to the button he had just clicked. 

 

“This is where the control switch is. Panels and lights off and on. They are good for some situations, but until you learn what they are again. ” Doc lifted it higher towards the back of his skull. “Here's where the panel tabs can be pushed down to adjust sizing. It should fit perfectly. But if for any reason it's too loose or tight, those should help.” 

 

Xiumsa nodded, taking in all of the important information. “This visor can be taken off, I know you have a few colors and specialty ones somewhere in your base, although I don’t know where. But be careful about taking it off casually. You need to be in a chunk that's set to end air, or be in the end dimension itself.”

 

“Thank you.” Xisuma breathed. He wanted to ask what the end dimension was in more detail, but that also sounded like a lot of information, and things felt overwhelming enough as it was. 

 

“You would do the same if I forgot how my arm worked.”

 

“I knew how that worked?” Xisuma asked in awe. 

 

“Well you helped make it.” Doc smiled. “Group science project, you could say.”

 

Xisuma could only stare at the arm, completely mesmerized by the engineering that would have gone into that. As it was, it hurt his head to think too much about what he knew and what he didn’t, but knowing that he used to be smart enough to build something like that , well, it was kinda cool. 

 

“Hey Doc, Joe.” Scar started. “One of you needs to join us to set the end air in a few chunks in my base.”

 

“I’ll join you both.” Doc offered. “Give me some time to make sure X here knows how his helmet works for sure.”

 

“You know how to set the end air up, Doc?” Joe confirmed, packing up the last book for himself. 

 

“I’ve played around with air chunks somewhere else, but if I need help I'll call you.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

The rest of the hermits left the room, a few sparing glances in X’s direction before they left. Xisuma hoped this was all just a bad dream, and after some sleep he'd have his entire life back. Like Stress said though, he just needed to take this one step at a time. And the next step was getting to Scar’s place, and then it was doing research through reading. He might’ve been lacking any memories or knowledge that could’ve helped them quicker, but he wasn’t going let that stop him from learning things anyways. He wasn’t going to let that stop him from helping these people help him. 

 

His memory was gone, but he refused to let that fact make him useless. 

 

“So how do we get to your place?” Xisuma asked. He followed Scar out of the door, and looked around the small building they had left. It was cute, but also seemed to be in the middle of the woods, and he had no idea on which direction civilization could be in. 

 

“Oh-” Scar said, like he had oversighted something. “Right, you probably don’t remember how to fly.”

 

“How to w hat ?” Xisuma asked in disbelief. 

 

“It's really more common than it sounds! And I can explain it to you later, but I have a feeling teaching you how to fly, even if you still have the muscle memory for it, will be too hard for now. It's getting dark.”

 

“Walking it is?” Doc asked, glancing towards Scar. “Do you know the way from down here?”

 

“Yeah- yeah it's one of the closer bases at least.” Scar hummed. Just follow me, gentleman! And Doc, do look out for your scary brethren.”

 

Doc scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you Scar…”

 

“I know! Just make sure me and X here don’t get blown up please! Or sniped.” Scar added cheerfully. “My old bones are giving me a hell of a run for my money today.”

 

“Do you need me to carry you?” Doc asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Not yet, but thank you.” Scar said. “It’ll be easier for you to defend us if I’m not on your back, and I don't think Xisuma is capable of being our body guard for tonight. We’ll just be quick about it so mobs can’t catch us!”

 

Xisuma gulped. This did not sound safe.

 

Scar, with a grin bright enough to light in lieu of the setting sun, double checked a device taken from his belt, and set off in the directions X could only assume was his home. The walk overall felt horribly long to Xisuma, who felt out of place in each forest they waded through as he marveled at bark types he couldn't name and plants he felt like he once knew. He kept nearly tripping on every tree root with his slightly limited vision (the helmet let him see more than he expected to with it on, but it still wasn’t perfect), but by the near end of it, where trees got sparser and Xisuma could faintly see buildings in the distance, Doc and Scar were chatting about how “quick of a walk that was!” and how “so few mobs got near us!”. They had a weird idea of time if this walk through multiple forests and terrains, that seemed like it lasted late into the night, was considered “ short ”.

 

Xisuma wanted to disagree on both fronts verbally, because it was already very dark by the time they reached the flower field in front of this famous “Scarland”, and a few arrows from these “mobs” scratched or even got stuck in his armor as they ran through the thickest forest, Scar sitting on Doc’s back by that point. That didn’t really feel that safe. But he was too exhausted to find the words or hear about how it was usually longer, or there was a time when his old self (was it appropriate to think of his pre-amnesia self as a different person? Everyone talked about him like he was. His old self felt like a stranger he had only heard about through conversation) would’ve done better for longer. He also didn’t really want to hear that he was struggling in comparison to this stranger of a past life. That he wasn’t as good anymore. 

 

Would these people even love him as much without his memory? Would he even know if he couldn’t compare the love he felt now to times before?

 

Xisuma shook his head, attempting to rid himself of the thought. He didn’t need to be negative about this!! These people were kind, clearly, and he’d be a fool to ignore that. He just needed to stay optimistic and helpful, and everything would turn out alright! 

 

He felt less winded than he expected to be when he saw the pearly gates of Scarland, but stepping into the atmosphere of civilization was still a full relief when the thought about sitting down soon crossed his mind.

 

Scar gestured for Doc to walk through the side panel instead of the regular ticket entrance, and Xisuma followed quickly. He didn’t want to be left alone if any more mobs decided to get up close and personal with the more lit up area they were in now. Some of them had had weapons. Even if he could see them better in the light, he had no shot of defending himself. 

 

Doc sat down on his hind legs so Scar could slide off easily, and Scar grabbed a wheelchair (one of many lined up) from the corner, before getting it out of the small room and sitting down. 

 

“That door is always a struggle to get through.” Scar explained. “I need to find the time to knock that wall down and fix that soon.”

 

Xisuma followed them once again, feeling slightly more on edge as they walked through the middle. There were crevices everywhere; just more places monsters could jump out at them from.

 

“Oh- I forgot to mention, Scarland is spawn proof.” Scar listed like he was explaining the history of the place. “Had a grand ‘ol time triple checking that fact!” He laughed. 

 

Xisuma just titled his head at Doc with a questioning look. 

 

“It means no mobs can get here. Not easily anyways. You can relax.” Doc said. 

 

Xisuma nodded, trying to trust them. They had been kind so far, and had no obvious bad intentions, but being in such a strange new place had him on edge. What was worse, was that he could remember basic things like servers, admins, the need to eat and drink and sleep-

 

But he couldn’t remember how the world functioned? He couldn’t remember the supposed “End dimension” that existed, which didn’t seem to be any sort of secret, and he couldn’t remember how he needed to breath specifically, and what mobs were- or what spawn proof meant, or-

 

Xisuma collided into Doc, with an “oof” and Doc turned around curiously. 

 

“You okay dude?” He asked. 

 

“Yep. All good.” Xisuma lied. 

 

“This is it.” Scar said, stealing Xisuma’s attention from his spiraling thoughts.

 

Xismua looked at what Scar was waving his hand towards like a showman, and his breath caught. 

 

Fairly lights were strung through the town, the lanterns glowed softly like galaxies among the stars. Lights lit up the castle that was the perfect backdrop for the scene, and the low artificial waterfall in the center was lit up from underneath. 

 

It felt magical. 

 

“Speechless.” Scar smiled proudly. “My favorite reaction.”

 

“Now that he’s seen the sights, we should set up the end chunks in the guest room he’ll be in.” Doc said, moving things forward. “I’d like to skim through some code before the night is over.”

 

“You better get some rest as well!” Scar said. “Standing Admin Joe declared so!” 

 

“Yeah yeah I'll get to it.” Doc huffed. “I’m just knocking some sections off the list for problems. Most likely, and hopefully , I won't find anything wrong tonight.”

 

Scar hummed, and started the way to the room Xisuma would be in. “This way folks! Luxury awaits us!”

 

Through a door, up an elevator, and down a wide hallway, they were at a door with a golden cat engraved plaque sitting elegantly on it. VIP, whatever that meant, was right under it, and when Doc pushed through after using a key that Scar handed him and held the door open, Xisuma got a chance to look through before he stepped in. it looked safe at the very least.

 

They walked through a small kitchen area that connected to a luxurious living room, and to a door farther down in the area. Scar called it Xisuma’s, mentioned something about checking stock, and left Doc and Xisuma at the door. 

 

The room was actually quite cozy. Xisuma didn’t know what he was expecting, because he couldn’t remember what a stereotypical hotel room would look like annoyingly, but he was pleased to find that this far exceeded his expectations of hospitality. 

 

The bed was grand, the wall to the right of him had a low dresser with a mirror, and next to him was the entrance to a small walk-in closet. It was quite luxurious for a hotel room.

 

“I’ll just set the End Air in here, and if Scar says it’s alright, I'll do the kitchen area in the lounge room as well in case you want to eat in a space other than your room.”

 

“Ok.” Xisuma nodded. “Thank you.”

 

“Of course, man.” Doc hummed as he pulled up a shiny transparent blue-teal screen in front of him. 

 

Xisuma was a little mesmerized as Doc fluidly swiped through screens, barely glancing at each one before clicking a button or swiping to get to a new one. Far faster than Xisuma could even read through them. 

 

“Sorry I'm a little slow.” Doc murmured. “Haven’t done this for a while. Little rusty.”

 

“Oh uh-” Doc called this slow???? “It's no issue.” Xisuma reassured him. “This is faster than I could have read the screens myself.”

 

“Yes. I guess it just takes practice.” Doc hummed. “More muscle memory than problem solving I think.”

 

“Ah.”

Doc set up the room's air chunks, complaining about how the corner was slightly off, so he had to do it more than once, and Xisuma assumed he could see something Xisuma couldn’t to know that. Maybe his robotic eye had something to do with it? He might ask about it later if it was confirmed it wasn’t rude to do so by someone else. 

 

With Scar’s permission, the hallway and the kitchen were set the same way, and roughly 20 minutes later, according to the cat shaped clock on the wall of the kitchen, it was all done. 

 

Doc bid the two farewell, after Scar made him promise to get some real rest tonight, and then it was just the two of them. 

 

Xisuma didn’t really know what to do or say, so he just stood there as Scar watched a very big bird’s silhouette fly off into the distance like it was important. 

 

His stomach rumbled, and he had the decency to blush under the helmet he hadn’t taken off yet. He could now, the air was fine, but it felt weird to just do it in the middle of the room where he would just have to hold it or put it on any surface. The thing keeping him alive felt too important for that kind of treatment. 

 

“Oh you must be famished!” Scar said. “Lucky for us, this kitchen was recently stocked up for easy meals. Courtesy of Scarland.”

 

“Oh. Lovely.” Xisuma smiled. “Is there, uh, anything I'm not able to eat? As such with the whole breathing thing?”

 

“Nothing that I know of.” Scar said. “But I’ll still find something I've seen you eat before to stay on the safe side. Our Doc just left us.” Scar joked poorly. 

 

Xisuma laughed along weakly. This wasn’t awkward at all!

 

“Just make yourself comfortable, and I'll remind myself of our options before I choose a few out for you to pick from.”

 

“What if I can't remember what I like?” Xisuma asked miserably.

 

“Then I will find something guaranteed to delight your taste buds!” Scar answered cheerfully. 

 

“Ok.” He said. “Thank you.” He whispered as an afterthought .

 

Xisuma felt awkward just standing there, so he went back to his room, where he had earlier dropped the book he took onto the nightstand. If he had to wait for dinner, the least he could was keep himself busy and learn a thing or two in the meantime. 

 

He looked over at the dresser with the mirror. The mirror. 

 

He could see his reflection. He could remember what he looked like. Even with his helmet on, he could see some of his face-

 

He could-

 

He head stung again, and he should put away the thought for now. It might be overwhelming to do so, and Scar was already very kindly making dinner. Scar shouldn’t have to deal with an outburst as well, possibly ruining the food, just because Xisuma made a decision at a poor time. He could wait. Patience was something he seemed to have an abundance of.

 

He took off his helmet finally and set it on his bed easily. It seemed like a safe place for it for now, and he sort of wanted to breathe normally for a while. Doc put in all that effort to change the air anyways. 

 

Xisuma brought the book back to the kitchen-living room area, feeling bad just leaving Scar there, and found a place to sit and read. There was a nice looking couch he could tuck himself into the corner of that faced a place where a fireplace could be lit. This was some fancy hotel room. 

 

“Before you get all cozy over there.” Scar called from the kitchen, “Do you want to choose dinner?”

 

“Oh- right.” Xisuma said. Standing up again. 

 

He walked a few feet toward the counter, where Scar had laid out a few options for food. 

 

“We have simple pasta, some premade soup- but that has a higher risk of allergens I may not know about-, and sandwiches, and frozen spring rolls.”

 

“Pasta sounds good to me.” Xisuma said, slightly happy he could feel confident about it and wasn’t lost on another thing. “You said I drank a bad soup right? Don’t want a repeat so soon.” He joked lightly. It still felt too heavy. 

 

“Splendid choice.” Scar nodded as he started putting the other options away. “It’ll be about a 12 minute wait then to get it all ready.”

 

“Ok, thank you.” Xisuma said. 

 

While Scar made the pasta in what seemed to be a new wheelchair, one that could extend him higher to easily reach the countertops, Xisuma, after being assured his help wasn’t needed, went back to the couch in the living room space to read. 

 

The history and discovery of potions He read again. 

 

The words on the cover made sense, so that was a good sign that he could still read , but definitions of certain words or places could still elude him. He decided to mark every page he had questions about or thought was possibly helpful with some sticky notes laying on the table, and got to reading. 

 

The pasta only took 10 or so minutes to make, near what Scar predicted, so Xisuma only got through the introduction (which provided a lot of helpful context for him actually-) and then dinner was being served up in bowls for the both of them. 

 

Xisuma had to hand it to the chef, for something made so quickly, it tasted pretty good. Not that he really knew what to compare it to, but it was filling, and he enjoyed eating it, and that was all that mattered.

 

They ate relatively quickly, and Xisuma, still feeling too awkward to speak up first, didn't try to start a conversation. Scar seemed a little worn out himself, so the meal was eaten in a mostly comfortable silence, and was cleaned up in a similar fashion. Xisuma managed to help with that task better. He might not have remembered how to cook, but when Scar started to get up to put his bowl away, he instinctively followed suit, and copied Scar in washing out the dish. It felt… normal. 

 

“Would you like some tea?” Scar asked, breaking the silicon gently. “I have a wide variety.”

 

“That does sound nice actually.”

 

“I have a soothing chamomile one?” Scar offered. “Good to unwind with. It's been a long day.”

 

“That sounds lovely.” Xisuma answered honestly. 

 

“You go ahead and sit down, brewing it only takes a few minutes.” Scar said. 

 

Xisuma hummed, and took the same place on the couch. He was not learning anything that no one else knew, but he still felt it was important to familiarize himself with the situation. And if he did learn something new, and someone called him helpful, well, that would be all the more reason to motivate him to keep going. Something about learning was grounding, he guessed. 

 

Scar didn’t enter the living room for a little bit longer than Xisuma had expected “a few minutes” to be, but in the time, Xisuma had felt like he learned a lot from the introduction of the book alone. Potions were made with brewing stands, which explained some of the laboratory looking equipment he saw earlier, and the stands themselves were made with rare materials from another dimension. The “Nether”. It was described differently than “The End” that the others had mentioned, and it only made him curious as to how many dimensions there were. 

 

It felt weird that he knew what a server was, he knew what admins were, he knew that he needed to eat and he knew how to read, but couldn’t for the life of him remember entire dimensions that everyone felt familiar with. It was frustrating, feeling so lost in a brand new world without a sense of self, but a part of him just tried to revel in the new curiosity he was being allowed to experience all over again. 

 

As long as he told himself this was all temporary, it would be fine!

 

He flipped the page in the book, and frowned when he noticed he had bent the page he was holding slighting in his accident tight grip. He would have to apologize to the neon green person, supposedly the keeper of the books, for that tomorrow. He forgot their name again. He felt guilty about it.

 

As complicated as the brewing stands themselves were, the recipes for potions, which took up 2 full pages of tree root looking diagrams to fit every combination onto, seemed even moreso. A little too tired to analyze every pathway and attempt to understand it, Xisuma skipped the section and moved on. Only half of the ingredients he could name, anyways. 

 

Disclaimer. Most potion effects wear off after a varied length of time. Milk can also reduce, halt, or entirely stop potion effects after consumption, but can make the subject feel dizzy if drunk too fast. Some milk substitutes have also been proven to negate potions effects to some degree, but data on the topic has only been shallowly explored. Check later editions for more information.

 

Too bad that Xisuma drank a bad soup and not whatever these things were.- “Right. Yes. potions. That’s the name of the book.” - because this seemed like a nice simple solution for whatever problem had caused his memory loss. Maybe they would try it as a last resort if all else failed. 

 

Xisuma tabbed the page with a nearby sticky note - a sticky note shaped into a cat's head of course, as was the theme of this place- and continued reading. 

 

The first recorded use of potions predates…

 

There was some light clattering behind him, and Xisuma put his thumb in the book to hold his place while Scar slowly wheeled in, holding a tray with two cups and a steaming pot of tea. How he was balancing it so gracefully without spilling a crumb of a cookie or a drop of tea, Xisuma didn't know. The wheelchair was expertly smooth in its movements, which helped, but Scar still seemed to have had an incredibly steady hand to hold the tray in one hand and maneuver the chair with the other with a remote on the side at the same time. 

 

“I took the liberty of guessing your clothing size,” Scar broke the silence. “And lay out a few slightly varied sizes on your bed. So you can see which one fits the best.”

 

Xisuma only gave him a quizzical look. 

 

“Well you don't expect to sleep in your suit do you?” Scar chuckled. “You've complained before about it, and I’m not about to make you sleep buck-naked in my fabulous guest room when we already have complimentary pajamas!”

 

“Oh- thank you.” Xisuma blinked in realization. “That’s very kind.”

 

“Only the finest silks, and only the most purrfect cat embroidery for you! Nothing less!”

 

“I appreciate the gesture, and the tea, Scar.” Xisuma thanked him. He felt like he wanted to say more, but the words felt lost on the tip of his tongue, and the moment passed before he could think of something to add. 

 

“Milk, sugar, or honey?” Scar asked, pouring his own cup (obviously cat shaped) first, and two sugar cubes in his tea. 

 

“Isn’t honey practically just sugar?” Xisuma asked. “I’m not sure why I know that, and not know what all of the dimensions here are, but… heh.”

 

“Well if you know what honey is, you must also know it can be infused with flavors that give tea a little more life! I chose simple sugar for myself because it's a little easier to maneuver right now.” Scar mentioned offhandedly. “But we have a good honey to try made with poppy flowers.”

“Oh uh- I’ll take sugars as well then-” Xisuma started. 

 

“Oh no- no I meant-” Scar started, realizing how Xisuma interpreted that. That honey would be too hard for Scar and he would be hurting himself to give Xisuma honey. 

 

“No, it's really fine-” Xisuma babbled.

 

“No, it's just if you want honey you have to scoop it yourself is all-” Scar corrected himself. “You can still have some if you’d like!”

 

“I really don’t mind.”

 

“Neither do I!”

 

“How about I have normal sugar tonight, and honey the next time, and I’ll learn the difference myself?” Xisuma offered to stop the needless back and forth conversation.

 

“Ok.” Scar chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

Scar put 3 sugar cubes into his tea, and Xisuma stood to pick up his own tea with its 2 sugar cubes. 

 

“Thank you. Again.” Xisuma said. 

 

“No worries X! Just make yourself at home, relax a little.” Scar said, yawning a little. He was smiling, seemingly always positive, and something about it rubbed Xisuma the wrong way. 

 

“Find anything in that book of yours?” Scar asked calmly, sipping his tea. 

 

“Nothing you all probably don’t know already.” Xisuma mumbled. “Some context for myself I suppose.”

 

“Ah that's alright.” Scar hummed. “We’ll find something eventually.” Scar yawned, and sounded almost… bored? 

 

Xisuma knew these people had been nothing but kind to him so far, but Scar’s unwavering smile and cheery attitude was making him a little paranoid that he had ulterior motives. He knew he should trust these people, considering he couldn't even trust his own knowledge in this strange world, but a part of him hated the fact that he was so vulnerable. That he could be putting his trust into the wrong people and wouldn’t even know it. 

 

“If you don’t mind me asking.” Scar started, shaking Xisuma from his thoughts. “And you are free to ignore this question if it makes you uncomfortable, but uhm- what does it feel like?”

 

“What?”

 

“Not knowing - I mean- well, you seem to know some basic world things, but not others. Have you found a pattern in what you remember versus what you don’t?”

 

“Uhm-” Xisuma tried to think of something, and a headache stabbed his temple. 

 

“No. I just get a headache if I try to remember things I can’t. And it's hard to remember everything everyone is telling me.”

 

“Hmmm.. interesting.” Scar mumbled quietly. 

 

Xisuma’s anxiety about the whole situation spiked. 

 

“How do you know what you can remember then? Like how you knew honey was sugar, or what a server was?”

 

“It's just like- like a feeling, or something.” Xisuma tried to explain. “I don’t remember the taste of honey, I don’t remember ever having it, but it sounds good to me anyways… It's weird. An apple sounds tasty too, but I can’t remember ever eating one. I know some things, but I can’t recall learning them. And- and I don’t even know everything... Because how do I know what honey is but I don’t know what End air is? I know what an apple is, but not these “elytras” you keep speaking of?” Xisuma rambled, breathing a little faster. Yes, he had been confused and scared this whole time, but now, everything felt so much more real, so much more scary. Moving had kept the thoughts from sinking in, but now that he had a real chance to rest and take everything in…

 

“This whole situation is weird. It's okay to be confused.” Scar tried to backtrack to calm him down. 

 

“But it's not! I didn’t even know what End Air was! The thing I need to- I need to breathe .” Xisuma started, shaking. “What if I had been alone? What if you guys weren’t there to help me, and tell me how to survive? I could’ve walked a few steps and choked on the air!”

 

“It would've been- well I don’t know if it- but it's okay now , X!” Scar reasoned. “We don’t have to think about what-ifs. Just relax a little bit and-”

 

“Are you not- do you not care ?” Xisuma asked with a broken voice, looking up at Scar slowly. “Are you so happy because I've forgotten something about you, or you never liked me that much?”

 

Scar’s eyes got red. Xisuma immediately felt guilty, like he had overstepped. 

 

“Oh Xisuma.” Scar said softly, eyes brimming with tears. Xisuma felt even worse. He wanted to run away. He couldn’t move. 

 

“Can I touch you?” Scar asked carefully. 

 

Xisuma wasn’t really sure if he was okay with that. He didn’t know what it would feel like, but he felt like he owed it to Scar to say yes. Scar had been nothing but a kind host and a helpful person, and he let his emotions get away from him, and he yelled at him. He hadn’t trusted the person kind enough to push themselves mentally and physically to help him.

 

Xisuma nodded. 

 

Scar took his hands from where his arms were crossed on the table, and just… held them. 

 

Xisuma felt less of the touch through the gloves, but it still felt nice. It felt like he was being seen, and cared for, and loved. How could he have ever doubted this man's intentions?

 

“I am absolutely terrified.” Scar said honestly. “I’m scared my friend has lost his memory forever because of a small mistake, because none of us were careful enough, and we won’t be able to figure out how to get it back.”

 

Tears brimmed at Xisuma's eyes. Gods…he didn’t even know what color his eyes were. He tried to hold the tears back. 

 

“Everyone else is freaking out, and someone has to hold it together so we can find a cure, and someone has to be there for you- you’re going through the worst of it. Stress is trying too, but it's not fair for her to do that alone. She’s, funny-enough,” Scar chuckled brokenly, and more tears fell, “ Stressed enough.”

 

“Oh-” Xisuma chuckled too. A tear fell with the movement. “I see what you did there.”

 

“It's not that I don't care.” Scar whispered. “It's that I care so much that I gotta shove the emotions down a bit until you’re better. Or until you aren’t, but someone else is able to take over for me.”

 

Xisuma didn’t really have the eloquent words to answer that, so he just leaned forwards, and hugged Scar. 

 

“That's a lot of pressure,” He whispered, letting the tears fall. “I'm so sorry I thought you were happy about this.”

 

“Just-” Scar laughed, and Xisuma could tell he was sobbing with it. “Just means I'm doing my job well.”

 

“That you are, my friend.” Xisuma squeezed Scar a little tighter. 

 

They both cried for a little while, and by the end of it, they were equally exhausted. Scar drank some of his tea as he wiped his eyes to calm down, and just sat there with his tea until it was nearly finished. 

 

Xisuma sipped his tea too, and as delicious as it tasted, he didn’t finish nearly as much. Something just felt missing from it. 

 

Maybe it was the honey he needed. 

 

----

 

Xisuma looked around his room. He had already been in here, when Doc made sure every space in here had the correct air, however he tested that , but the lights were off, and he was trying not to stare too much yet. Stepping into it felt like a special action that needed more thought and time into it. 

 

He had helped Scar put away the tea cups, and with a final hug, they parted into different rooms. Scar had whispered something possibly meant to be too quiet for him to hear, but Xisuma made out the words anyway, and didn’t know how to react to them. 

 

“We’ll get your memory back.” Scar had spoken. “We will.”

 

Now that Xisuma was alone, he tried to focus on those words whenever his mind wandered to the possibility that they wouldn’t . Because Scar had told him these hermits- his hermits,- were always this motivated, and he just had to trust that they would find a cure somehow. 

 

Xisuma took his time looking around the room again, saving his far away analysis of the mirror for last. It was connected to the dresser, and angled in a way where he couldn't see himself. Yet. 

 

But before he looked at it, before he looked at himself , he had to test something. 

 

He sat on the nearest chair, far from the mirror, and closed his eyes. His hands sat in his lap, palms up, resting limply. Maybe it was peaceful. 

 

Xisuma tried to remember the color of his eyes, the color of his hair, what blemishes covered his skin, anything special he was supposed to know about. It didn’t have to be a full visual- it just needed to be something . 

 

Nothing. 

 

His helmet was still sitting on his bed. He tried to remember the shape of his eyes, what they looked like when he saw himself in a mirror with the helmet on. 

 

Nothing. 

 

He had seen a part of his reflection in the helmet visor earlier in the day, he remembered that- but he couldn't remember what he had seen. It just felt like a blur now.

 

His hands clenched in something that was a mix of frustration and desperation. He lifted his arms up, and ran his fingers over his face, his jaw and nose and eyebrows, trying to remember the feel, the shape, could he visualize it with just touch? Would it help? Could it?

 

Nothing.

 

“What color are my eyes?” He desperately begged his memory. His head stung, but he tried to push through as he imagined colored eyes on a blank slate of what a face could look like. 

 

He felt a slight bump over his nose. Did he have a healed scar there? Was the skin darker or lighter than the complexion on the hands he could already see? What did the shape look like?

 

“What color are my eyes?” He whispered to himself in the lonely room. 

 

Blue? Brown? Red? Green?

 

He couldn’t even remember what color of eyes were natural for whatever species he was (he couldn’t think about how he didn’t know that. He didn’t know his species. He couldn't think about that.) and he couldn’t remember whether he had a common color, or even the same color in each eye. 

 

He didn’t know. 

 

He dry sobbed, too exhausted to put the emotional effort into properly crying, and slumped forwards over the table he was next to. The mirror was behind him. 

 

He didn’t know what color his eyes were. 

 

He stood up, keeping his eyes training on the dark wood floors as he walked across the room. 

 

He didn’t know if he had scars, or what the shape of his nose was, or whether his jaw was sharp or rounded, or what his hair looked like-

 

Xisuma’s feet were a foot from the dresser, and he knew the mirror was in front of him. He would finally have a face to his own name. 

 

He lifted his head, and stared at a stranger in the reflection. 

 

Their eyes were purple, staring back at him. Were his eyes purple too?

Chapter 5: Pancakes and Planning

Summary:

Fire and Ice enter the chat!!

Xisuma felt his headache before he was aware of his surroundings. It was splittingly painful, and drew a groan from him as he tried to lay still and wait it out. As quickly as it started, it ended, and he just felt confused. 

 

He blinked his eyes open, trying to remember where he was…and who he was. 

 

“Who am….” He thought fearfully. 

 

Xisuma . 

 

“Right.” He relaxed a little. “That's my name. And I'm….” He looked around the room. He recognized it from the night before, and slowly the few memories he had came back to him. “I’m in the person named Scar’s home. And I've lost my memory. And there are a lot of names I've forgotten again.”

 

 Xisuma sat up, and even though his headache had dissipated, he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead and held it there as if the pain would come back, and as if that would soothe it. 

Xisuma changed back into the same clothes he had worn before, skipping out on the armor for now, because the pieces looked complicated and he wanted to ask for help with them later. That Doc guy knew how to work his helmet, maybe he also knew how to assemble the suit of armor that protected him from this dangerous world he was relearning about. 

 

When he got into the living room, Scar was already there, standing again, and making something on the stove.

 

“I heard you moving around and figured you were awake.” Scar said, “So I just started cooking these, so, y’know, they’d be ready quickly, hot and fresh!”

 

“Oh, thank you!” Xisuma smiled. “They smell wonderful.”

 

“It's an old recipe.” Scar chuckled. He flipped a pancake and set it on a plate before setting that to the side. For efficiency's sake, he poured more batter onto the stove top before tending to the first pancake, drizzling honey and blueberries on it. He topped it off with a dollop of whip cream he scooped from a bowl, and held it in front of Xisuma. 

 

“This looks incredible.” Xisuma praised. 

 

“Don’t flatter me until you’ve tried it!” Scar said. “If your tastebuds haven’t also lost their memory, this should be near your favorite.”

 

“Near?” Xisuma questioned. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“Well there's this fruit called chorus fruit, and if I remember correctly myself, those are your favorite. You at least liked the cookies I put them in.” Scar recalled. “But they only grow in the end, and I haven’t made a trip over there in a while. Also, they make you teleport, which might not be the most fun for someone who needs to relearn how to use an elytra.”

 

“What's an elytra?” Xisuma asked automatically.

 

“It's sort of a glider that some of us hermits use to get around quicker. They’re difficult to get, and take some practice with, but eventually every hermit has one if they want it.”

 

“Hmm.” Xisuma hummed through a mouthful. The pancakes really were incredible. “I think you deserve that praise now, Scar. I don’t know what you did, but it's just-...” Xisuma trailed off as he took another mouthful. He hummed contently. 

 

“I think you patented the recipe for that honey actually.” Scar mentioned. “I’m glad you like it.”

 

“I did?” Xisuma asked excitedly. 

 

“Yeah. I made this batch of it, but a season or so- oh wow two seasons ago- you had a lot of bee farms and experimented with flowers and the taste of honey. This was a fan favorite, so you sent the recipe to anyone who wanted it.”

 

“I can see why it was.” Xisuma smiled. “What did you say was in it again?”

 

“I think it was lavender extract that sold the flavor. And the bees had a variety of flowers to stay healthy and give the honey that rich flavor.” Scar said. “My attempts aren’t as good as yours were, but I'd like to think I got pretty close.”

 

“However close you were, it turned out great.”

 

Scar smiled at the compliment, and Xisuma felt something in him beam. Everything was so overwhelming, but pancakes weren’t. Pancakes were easy and delicious and so was honey and Xisuma was just going to focus on them. One step at a time. Pancakes. 

 

“After we finish breakfast,” Scar started, setting his own plate down to start his meal. “I think some of the hermits from yesterday are itching to meet up and go ahead on the plan to get your memory back.”

 

Xisuma nodded. They were moving to step two now, getting to a meeting spot. This was a straightforward step he could manage.

 

“Because teaching you to fly will take a while if muscle memory doesn’t kick in quickly, we’ll have to walk. I’m not sure if I can walk that far all in one go, so I might need you to help carry my wheelchair if that's alright with you? It's not too heavy, and it folds nicely, but if you think it's too much I can call another hermit over to walk you there while I fly.”

 

“I’ll do my best to carry it,” Xisuma agreed. “As long as… the monsters..”

 

“Ah yes.” Scar realized. “Mobs, as they’re called, of that variety won’t show up during the day. Most of them burn in the sunlight.”

 

“And the ones that don’t?”

 

“We just have to hope we don’t blow up!” Scar laughed. “It’ll be an adventure!”

 

Xisuma swallowed. And not just because he had finished the last bite of his pancakes. An action he wished he had stretched on a little longer now. 

 

This was maybe going to be a difficult step two. 

 

---

 

They stepped out of Scarland from the same entrance they used before, and started to walk in a similar direction that they had come from last night. Xisuma had his helmet back on, and viewed the world through a pretty slightly purple lens. Everything looked different from the night before, and even if slightly on edge, he was content just taking in the scenery as they traveled. 

 

“Oh! I thought of something last night that I thought might interest you.” Scar said to get Xisuma's attention. 

 

“Hmm? And what’s that?”

 

“You don’t remember Star Wars, so I can see your reaction to it for the first time again!” Scar said cheerfully

 

“What's star w-ah-rs?”

 

“Star wars. ” Scar corrected. “And it's one of my favorite movie series! Oh uh- do you know what a movie is?”

 

“Funny enough, I do.” Xisuma chuckled, “I can’t tell you if i’ve ever seen one, but it's like a moving picture is it not?”

 

“It is indeed!” Scar smiled. “And if your memory hasn’t been fixed by the end of today, we can relax a little with the first movie.” Scar said. “And if everything’s back to normal, we can still relax with it.”

 

“That sounds nice.”

 

---

 

The walk was actually… not nearly as scary in the day time. Scar had told the truth, there were no monsters in the light hours, and his wheelchair was fairly light and easy to fold and carry under the rough terrain it wasn’t quite suited to roll over. Scar used it on the smoother paths, and Xisuma carried it over the rough patches, and they made good time walking to… wherever Scar was leading them. 

 

“Ehm, if you don’t mind, “Xisuma started. “Where are we heading again?”

 

“Oh!” Scar exclaimed. “Sorry for not mentioning it earlier! We’re heading to a giant castle, that's also like a dungeon crawler game.” Before Xisuma could process that and freak out, Scar continued. “Don’t worry though! We’re just meeting in the lobby. No scary games for us today!”

 

Xisuma relaxed a little. 

 

“It's just a good place to meet because it's far off from spawn, it has plenty of room for everyone, and the master of the dungeon might have some ideas of his own to test. He’s a bit of a crazy genius, and he might know some strange world mechanic if Doc didn’t get through all of the logs last night.”

 

That was a lot of words, and Xisuma didn’t understand all of it, so he just hummed and continued to follow Scar. Hopefully it would all make more sense later. Even as the world got more complex and more confusing, things also were starting to make more sense. It was weird. Everything was weird. 

 

---

 

“Scar, how much rest did you get?” Grian asked, noticing the wheelchair in Xisuma's arms. 

 

“Oh enough enough.” Scar waved off. “The walk to Scarland was just a bit much is all. Nothing to fret over.”

 

“You could’ve taken the day off. Another one of us could’ve helped Xisuma here, or we could’ve done it at your place.” 

 

“And steal a nice stroll through the forest from me?” Scar smiled. “Not a chance! But if you’re so worried, I'll take it easy today. “ Scar vaguely waved his arm towards Xisuma, something Xisuma had learned as a cue to set the wheelchair down on the walk over, and Scar sat down. Xisuma noticed how he relaxed a little more when he could stop standing, and wondered how much pain he had been hiding this whole time. Scar had mentioned himself a conman, and that had proved to be true in his everyday tendencies as well. He was much too good at hiding things from the group. A charmers smile made to woo a crowd seemed awfully good at hiding emotions and pain too. 

 

“Sorry I was late!” A shrieky voice came calling as a cloaked figure came tumbling in the room.

 

“The -ificators with the doohickies were not cooperating with me this morning! And Panic got into a room she wasn’t supposed to be in, and it was a whole thing!” They continued rambling, not acknowledging the large crowd as they got closer. They took off their hood, and a blazing blue fire was revealed as his hair. Xisuma just stared in awe as he watched the flames dance. 

 

“So why did you need this meeting again? Something about closing Decked Out 2 for today?”

 

Cub tried speaking up, but Tango continued his rambles as he greeted people with nods or smiles. He seemed a little oblivious to the current atmosphere. 

 

“We wanted to-”

 

“Oh Xisuma!” Tango noticed Xisuma standing in place awkwardly. “Not too upset I banned your soups and honey, are you?”

 

“Tango,-”

 

“I’ll give you another shard if you give me the recipe for that saturation one. I can never remember what flowers do what.” He lamented. “It’s just so complicated-”

 

“ Tango .” Cleo spoke up more harshly. He finally noticed her tone, and when he looked up, he saw everyone’s faces. 

 

“What's wrong?” He asked ignorantly, tilting his head to the side. 

 

“I didn’t want to tell you over text, but we have a situation.” Cub said, taking the lead again. “A bad situation.”

 

Tango furrowed his eyebrows, and looked at Cub, listening closely.

 

“Step to the side with me.” Cub said, stepping away from the group. 

 

Xisuma had conflicted feelings about the action. On one hand, it felt weird to be left out again, and to know someone was talking about him just slightly out of earshot for him to be part of the conversation. On the other hand, Scar had already broken down in front of him because of these circumstances, and if Cub reminded everyone about the grave situation they were in, void knew who else would start sobbing in front of the crowd at the reminder. That person who called him the wrong name- his name is Keralis. His name is Keralis. His name is Keralis - wasn’t here yet, if he was coming at all, but he was quite emotional at the first interaction. Telling this new person with the flaming hair that Xisuma has severe amnesia needed to be done more carefully. 

 

“While they're talking, I would like to ask,” Joe started, getting the crowd's attention, and stealing Xisuma’s attention away from his thoughts as well. “Has anyone found anything helpful? Cures, history, charts?”

 

No one jumped up to say yes, which was a solemn action in itself. 

 

“All I found was the normal crafting recipe for potions.” Grian mumbled. “The same ol’ thing printing next to every brewing stand. Some mention of the stuff witches use; it could be a lead?”

 

“I thye use anything abnormal it could be, yes.” Joe said. 

 

“History of mushroom cows was interesting.” Pearl said next. “Not too helpful yet.”

 

“That one may have some hidden insights on soup properties.” Joe nodded. “Good to continue with that one.”

 

She hummed an affirmation. 

 

“We can see what Doc comes up with when he gets here.” Scar said. “If he’s gotten far enough to find it yet.”

 

Joe hummed. “It may just be a research day for us all. We can’t test solutions all willy-nilly.”

 

“Do we know when he’s showing up?” Pearl asked. “I know we didn’t set a strict time for this morning, but…”

 

“Yeah, who else are we missing?” Grian piped up. “Doc, Keralis, Stress.”

 

“Stress messaged me.” Cleo said. “Her wings broke. She’s mending them and then she’ll get here.”

 

“I didn’t see her with wings before?” Xisuma whispered to Scar.

 

“It's another word for that elytra I was talking about. She wasn’t wearing them in the lab to avoid…well. Accidents.” Scar phrased it awkwardly.

 

“Ah.” Xisuma said stiffly. He picked at the long sleeves he was wearing, trying not to fidget too much while he constantly felt watched. It wasn’t working. 

Tango and Cub came back to the group, and Tango seemed more solemn. 

 

“Sorry X.” Tango said. Xisuma had no idea how to respond to that. He clenched his fist to stop himself from picking at the ends more.

 

“My uh- my name’s Tango.” He introduced himself properly. Xisuma had gathered his name from context clues, but it was nice to know he was correct in his assumptions. 

 

“Nice to meet you.” Xisuma nodded. “Scar’s told me you’re some sort of genius?”

 

“Scar’s a flatterer, but yes, I'm a bit of an engineer.” Tango chuckled. “But enough about my inventor's prowess; why do you think I could help? I mean I'll do whatever I can and more, but I've never heard of something like this either.”

 

“We were hoping you knew any cures from memory loss at respawn?” Grian said. “You help the victims of your dungeon after a brutal respawn, maybe those tips could help jog X’s memory?”

 

“Those incidents are pretty rare, but uh- yeah, we can try them.” Tango said. “But when they respawn it's usually very quick and temporary amnesia and wears off on its own. I just make the process less overwhelming.”

 

“Respawning…” Xisuma mumbled as he processed the sentence. He knew what that meant. He knew- “Wait!”

 

Everyone looked at him quickly. This was the loudest he had been since the incident. 

 

“Couldn’t I just respawn?” He asked quickly. “I just die, and then- and then-” he head stung and he pressed his palm to it with a wince, but he continued anyway. “-And then everything would reset right? I would be better?”

 

Nervous glances looked around the room. 

 

“It…. could fix you.” Tango started first, breaking the silence, “But it would also make this well- unfixable.”

 

“What do you mean?” Xisuma asked. It didn’t make any sense, and he felt a little desperate, and they had no plan, and no one was explaining things to him . 

 

“He knows what respawn is, but not the side effects?” Grian asked, a horrible mix of curiosity and worry. 

 

“Grian be nice.” Cleo hissed. 

 

“Tell me what's going on.” Xisuma demanded. “Why can’t I just kill myself and-”

 

Someone, or multiple hermits, gasped under their breaths. 

 

“Xisuma.” Cub interrupted him with a powerful voice.

 

Xisuma turned to him. 

 

“I don’t know how much you remember, but respawn is not a pretty thing.” Cub explained. “Yes, it usually heals you from major injuries and any open wounds are closed, but it is not a foolproof solution to every problem.” Cub paused, and his tone turned softer. “Not everything heals, or it doesn’t heal perfectly, and it often makes things more concrete. A scar from a fight can heal, a scar from a slow death and respawn is stuck with you.”

 

Doc stepped up. “God took my arm, a bad respawn took my eye.” 

 

“We’re not trying to scare you.” Cub said. “We just need you to know that respawn is a very last case scenario option. We won’t purposely send you into it until all other options are stressed.” Cub broke eye contact. “We don’t want respawn to make your memory loss permanent .”

 

“Ok.” Xisuma gave in, drawing back both verbally and physically. “Ok.” The message was clear.

 

“Tango? Your methods?” Cub asked, trying to shift the awkward silence into something more productive.

 

“Right, yes, I'll get the supplies.”

 

Xisuma felt like he was just standing there awkwardly with the crowd as they waited for Tango. Some people were having hushed conversations slightly out of hearing range, and others just looking around or shifted from foot to foot. Xisuma was definitely part of the latter group. The dungeon (as Scar called it) had an incredibly grand lobby, and the details were jaw dropping. 

 

Wherever Tango had disappeared to, Xisuma didn’t have time to wonder, because a sing songy phrase called out to the not-so-empty space, catching the attention of most hermits instantly. 

 

“Ohh Tangoooooo~” The new voice sang out. “I’m ready for my runs today! Gotta- heh- gotta stay on top!”

 

Everyone whipped towards the new person, and Xisuma just titled his head towards the stranger. He obviously did not know who they were.

 

“Crowded day?” They asked quizzically as they spotted the large group. 

 

“Who are they?” Xisuma whispered not very quietly to Scar. 

 

“Uh- am I interrupting something?” They asked. Xisuma took the moment of silence to get a better look at them.  They didn’t seem like a threat, and no one was getting more defensive than just being a little nervous, so he assumed this person was safe. They had streak-white hair and a black mask over their mouth and nose, and a green vest over a black turtleneck. Far from the strangest person Xisuma had met, but he was curious about the heterochromatic eyes and the long scar over one of them. 

 

Tango got back, holding a box, and perked up at the sight of the new person.

 

“Ah! Etho! What are you doing here? I said the dungeon was closed today!”

 

“Communicator died.” This “Etho” person said. “I was just gonna charge it here.”

 

“You freeloader!” Tango accused. “And it's closed! Leave!”

 

“Then why’s everyone else here?” Etho asked. 

 

“Errr…. Surprise party?” Tango squeaked. “Helping me with.. The winners prize!)

 

“You’re worse at lying then-” Etho laughed at his own joke before he finished it. “You're worse at lying than at running your own dungeon.”

 

“Should we tell him?” Grian whispered to someone next to him. It wasn’t quiet enough.

 

“Tell me what?” Etho spoke up. 

 

“Dammit he heard that.” Grian mumbled. 

 

“Hard not to, in all of this silence.”

 

“Well uh-”

 

“You see,”

 

“We have this… situation..”

 

“Uh huh?” Etho prompted

 

“I’ve lost my memory.” Xisuma spoke up.

 

Everyone looked at Xisuma. They had been doing that a lot. 

 

“Huh?” Etho asked eloquently. 

 

“I don’t-” Xisuma tried to explain more. “Well I don’t know how -”

 

“He drank a bad soup.” Scar added information that was less than helpful without context. 

 

“Yes, thanks.” Xisuma said. “I lost my memory, and these people are helping me get it back.” 

 

“Oh snap.” Etho said. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well what can I do to help?”

 

“It's fine really, we have it handled-” Grian tried, but Cleo interrupted him. 

 

“If you have any knowledge on memory loss, potions, or glitches, any and all information is useful.” She said, “Most of us are reading Joe's book on the topics, Doc is looking through the code, and Tango is about to try some quick fixes to temporary amnesia.”

“Ok.” Etho nodded. “I can pick up a book? I can also talk to Bdubs, he might remember something from mindcrack that could help us.”

 

The silence was deafening. 

 

“What?”

 

“We haven’t…. Exactly told anyone else yet.”

 

Etho blinked at them.

 

“We don’t want to overwhelm X more than we already have, and we don’t want a mass panic.” Cub explained. “But if nothing works today, then we tell the other hermits.”

 

“Ok.” Etho said with a wince. “I get it, I just…. Feel guilty.”

 

“We all do.”

Notes:

Thanks for the patience with slow updates! I'm taking this one at a leisurely pace so I don't burn out, especially because my outline is a bit shaky so its not something i can force myself to push through easily.
I adore every comment i see, even if i don't always have time to respond! thank you! have a great day or night!!

Chapter 6: Testing testing 1, 2, nO WAIT-

Summary:

Decked Out Silly Funtimes! ^-^ and nothing goes wrong at all!!

Notes:

XISUMA IN MCC XISUMA IN MCC THIS IS NOT A DRILL AHHHHHHHH

Stress and Doc arrived together because they saw each other on the way, and flew nearer each other to land at the same time. (Xisuma still didn’t understand how they flew without wings, especially when neither had any wings or whatever those elytra-things were when they walked in, but he didn’t feel like questioning something that might not make sense even after another explanation) They were already talking when they walked in, but quickly finished their conversation and spilt up when they entered the room, cutting off any further conversation with a nod. 

 

Stress took Xisuma’s side, offering support of speaking up for him once again, and he was internally grateful that he wouldn’t have to constantly talk on his own to such a large group of strangers. 

 

The one that- KERALIS. HIS NAME WAS KERALIS- ... Keralis arrived last carrying a bag full of things. Xisuma assumed it was the reason he was late, although he couldn’t imagine what was in the bag or what Keralis was going to do with it. 

 

“Well now that everyones here. I say we test some theories and read up on more strategies in the meantime.” Joe announced, getting everyone’s attention. “We’re gonna write out all the ideas we have, and test them carefully one at a time. The safest ideas go first.”

 

Everyone agreed, and then Xisuma felt like everyone was staring at him. He felt incredibly awkward, and a little anxious. He had only half-met most of the people in front of him, and he still couldn’t name most of them. 

 

“Could everyone uh- not stare at me.” Xisuma asked Stress quietly. 

 

“Of course.” She whispered back. “How about I get everyone to disperse, and come up with ideas in other side rooms. Do you think you can handle four people?”

 

Xisuma was actually not sure if he could handle four people, but it was early in the day, and his energy was high enough that he was willing to try. “Yeah that sounds alright.”

 

“Tango, Cub, and Doc join me with Xisuma.” Stress told the crowd, interrupting where Joe had started writing down ideas from the group. “Everyone else, spread out and come up with other ideas we can try today. You can all talk together, but please do it separately from us.”

 

A few hermits gave her confused looks, but when their eyes landed on Xisuma, who was dutifully staring at the ground and avoiding everyone's eyes, they held back their questions and just did as told. 

 

Joe and Cleo started laying out books and figurines on the ground in some sort of pattern or plan in the far left corner of the lobby, while Scar and Grian filled Etho in on the situation and exactly what had happened. Pearl took a cozy spot in Gem’s cubby on the bed with her book in hand to finish, and Keralis gently placed his bag next to the bed, taking a spot next to her on the ground with a pillow between the bed frame and his lower back. That left Stress and the three other hermits she listed to be alone with X.

 

“Ok Tango. It's why we called you to meet ‘ere. Do what you do.” Stress said when the group had shrunk significantly. 

 

Xisuma hesitated and stepped back, unsure about the situation. He didn’t know what Tango was about to do and instinctively he wanted to flee.

 

“Hey hey hey it's ok.” Tango said, approaching slowly, as if Xisuma were a wild animal. “I’ll tell you what I'm about to do before I do it. Nothings gonna hurt.”

 

“Ok.” Xisuma mumbled.

 

“We’re just doing some memory back-ification tips I use after a rough run here in this dungeon game I made. It's nothing extreme.”

 

Xisuma didn’t understand how he pronounced some of the words he did (what was back-ification??) and was still a little confused on how this was a game, but Tango assured him it was nothing bad. He trusted him enough for that. He nodded once.

 

“Can you smell this for me?” Tango asked. Xisuma leaned forwards, but his helmet was clearly in the way of whatever weird lumpy thing Tango was holding up. 

 

“Oh shoot right-” Tango realized. Xisuma giggled a little before he could stop himself. 

 

“Doc, can you set the end air in this chunk?”

 

“Right.”

 

Doc started setting up the chunk, the glowy blue panels pooping up in front of his face again. While he was working on that, Tango started to explain his process. 

 

“I know it's sorta grasping at strings here,” Tango chuckled nervously. “But usually I just have the person become aware of their surroundings again. Smelling things, touching things, and in the worst cases I just sit with them until it comes back to them. If he hasn’t gotten his memory back naturally yet….”

 

“It's worth a shot though.” Stress said somberly. 

 

One of the worst cases was Gem.” Tango continued. Xisuma didn’t recognize that name, but paid attention all the same. “She didn’t know who she was or where she was for 20 minutes, and I had to calm her down, sit with her, explain what Hermitcraft was, and have her taste some familiar foods before she started to come back. I also tried regen, but I'm not sure if that helped or not.”

 

Xisuma listened dutifully, and tried to relate his situation to this “Gem” person. It didn’t really line up, unfortunately. He knew he was Xisuma, and he now knew this was Hermitcraft, so reminding him of that wouldn’t do much. Also, it had obviously been more than 20 minutes, and Scar had already made him a delicious breakfast he apparently had before in his lifetime. He didn’t know what regen was, but that seemed like a weak solution as it was. Maybe he could ask about it soon. 

 

“End air is set for most of the dungeon” Doc said, interrupting Xisuma’s inner monologue. “Go ahead.”

 

Xisuma clicked off his helmet without fuss, and Stress helpfully took it from his arms. 

 

Tango held the same something to his face, a weird purple fruit looking lump. “Smell this.” He ordered.

 

Xisuma sniffed it, and tried to remember what it was. It smells more strongly than he thought it would, sort of sweet and tangy. Whatever it was, it smelled really good, and once this was over, he’d ask if he could try it.

 

“Anything?”

 

‘It smells… good? I guess?” Xisuma says. “What’s it called?”

 

Tango sighed. “It's called chorus fruit. One of your favorites.”

 

“Oh.” Xisuma frowned. “Well it smells good.”

 

“That's alright, I got a few more things. Touch this.” Tango held out a slightly glowing red block. When Xisuma went to touch it, it felt warmer than he thought it would, and much grimier too. The red color stained his fingers instantly, and when he rubbed them together, he could feel more of the individual particles of it. The subtle glow was a little mesmerizing actually, and the color was so vibrant. 

 

“What is it?”

 

Tango frowned again. “It's called redstone. Something you’re very good at using.”

 

Xisuma frowned too. He couldn't think of a way that this was used for more than a tiny space heater or as a way to dye things because the texture was so pigment-like. It also could be an ingredient in paint? Some sort of watercolor? Maybe Tango was implying he was good at painting before? He’d have to ask Stress or Scar about that later. Maybe he still had the muscle memory for that sort of thing, and could pick it up again as a pastime. 

 

“One last test I got.” Tango said. “Can you take a bite of this?” He held out a shimmering apple that seemed to gleam a purple color at the right angle. It was probably just the trick of the light in here (there were blue fires on the wall somehow! Those had to be some sort of trickery, and could also be changing the lighting in this room) but Xisuma felt mesmerized all the same. 

 

“An apple?”

 

“A golden apple.” Tango said. “Yeah.”

 

Tango took it, and Xisuma tried not to crumble under the pressure of everyone staring at him. 

 

The apple was crisp, and made a loud crack under his bite. His mouth exploded with flavor, sweet, tangy, and just pure bliss-like flavor, and he savored the bite as if it filled him with life and swallowing it too soon would leave him an empty shell of a man. (Not that he wasn’t already. He was really trying not to think about it that way.) 

 

The burst of life he felt, however, did not include any previous memories. 

 

“It's incredible.” Xisuma whispered. He couldn't meet anyones gazed for a moment. “But I’m so sorry, I don't remember anything new.”

 

The group was quiet for a few seconds, while everyone tried to think of something to say. 

 

“That's alright, luv.” Stress touched his arm gently. “We have a whole room full of more solutions to try. We’re taking this one step at a time.”

 

The others agreed with her, and Xisuma felt himself nodding too. These were all wonderful people. He was determined to remember them, as long as it took. 

 

Tango let him finish the apple, mentioned how it was basically a little magic, and the effects of it would wear down within a few minutes. It was a caution so Xisuma wouldn’t freak out when the burst of energy and life he felt wore off, which Xisuma appreciated. He liked when people over-explained things to keep him in the loop. 

 

Stress asked him if he could rejoin the group, and maybe he was still on the magic apple high, but he felt like he could handle it and agreed, ready for more solutions. 

 

---

 

Joe and Cleo had papers and devices spread across the floor in the cubby they resided in when Xisuma and the hermits with him made it to their side of the room, and it all looked pretty confusing. Cub had split away from the group to the one with Scar and the parrot… NAMED GRIAN- so adding two more people to the group Xisuma was in didn’t feel suffocating in the slightest. 

 

“Ah- back so soon?” Joe asked, a hidden question behind those words. 

 

The hidden question was answered when Tango looked away, and Doc slightly shook his head. 

 

“Any brainstorming ideas ready?” Stress asked instead, trying to keep things positive. 

 

“We have a bunch of lists-” Cleo said, picking one up to the side of her. “Of people we can ask for help if nothing comes up in the next few days. Scott knows some weird niche stuff and has extensive research on weird magic. And Shubble- I don’t know her personally, but she's done stuff with potions and witchy stuff in general.”

 

“And some other empires folks might have knowledge on mods and glitches and things. I think some stuff got corrupted over there, and a theory we have is that we picked up a bug in a mod pack we have, or something carried over from our time on empires.” Joe said. He picked up another paper. “Here's a list of things we're gonna poke ‘round these next few days. Hypotheses and jotted ideas to test and research.”

 

Pearl walked over as the group was listening intently to Joe, joining the conversation. Kerlais stayed behind in the cubby, looking through something in his hands alone. Xisuma couldn’t see what it was from where he stood.

 

“Anything to add from your book?” Joe asked. 

 

“Not yet unfortunately.” Pearl frowned. “Interesting things, but no mention of anything like this. Later chapters might have something. I need a break.”

 

Cleo hummed. “Help us contact Scott. You were close for a while.”

 

“Who's Scott?” Xisuma asked. “Am I supposed to know him?”

“Hmm.. not well, I don’t think.” Cleo thought over. “You briefly met him when our servers crossed paths, but me and Pearl know him better from another server all together.”

 

Xisuma hummed as he took in the information. 

 

“We also have friends from MCC- those players know all kinds of stats and specific things right?” Tango mentioned. “Cub just left, but he should know people. So should Grian, False, and Ren…and Iskall knows some people too I think. ”

 

“MCC?” Xisuma asked. He also wanted to know about the names just listed, but figured that information would be harder to remember all at once. MCC stuck out the most. 

 

“It's a championship sort of game.” Joe explained. “A good community building thing based around a lot of competitions. Only some of us have participated.”

“Oh that sounds fun!”

 

“You mentioned trying it one day.” Cleo said. “You’d be so bad at it , I know.” She laughed. “You’d have the best time in the world.”

 

“Weren’t I an admin?” Xisuma felt the need to defend himself with a laugh. “I feel like a championship couldn’t have been that hard!”

 

“What you are is an idiot.” Cleo said, a tone of voice that felt like she was talking to an old friend. “A cat too curious for his own wellbeing.”

 

“Satisfaction brought it back, did it not?” Xisuma asked. He had no idea how he knew that phrase, but it came naturally to him before he could think of what he was saying. Cleo looked him in the eye, and it was clear she was searching for something in his gaze. She didn’t find it in the moment, looking away with a fond huff. 

 

“That it did.” She mumbled. 

 

---

Apparently, after Scar and Grian had filled Etho in on what happened, they had started to make potions. They weren’t gonna mix anything with any soups today, but Etho had the idea of resetting his code with other potions by reminding the code that potions were only supposed to last an hour at most. It was safer than a respawn sort of reset at least. 

 

“Are we sure this is safe?” Tango asked. “I mean, wasn’t this what caused the- loss-ification of memory in the first place?”

 

“That was soups and potions combined.” Grian corrected. 

 

“This doesn’t seem different enough from that.” Tango argued. 

 

“It's just a few basic potions.” Etho tried to assure Tango. “If something is wrong in code that has to do with potions, this will tell us that. And they're generally safe potions.” 

 

“Fine. Still feels risky.” Tango mumbled. 

 

The group turned to Grian as he started to explain the specifics of the potions. 

 

“We made healing, because that's a safe bet for potions, and might heal him if it's some sort of sickness. We also made levitation, because we had the ingredients for it.  And then we made speed, cause like- maybe it’ll speed up the effect from the last combination? Like maybe what we made just has a really long effect time?”

 

“That's kinda-”

 

“Grasping at straws. We know.” Grian said. “It's all we got.”

 

“Well let's get on with it then.” Cleo said. “No use in dilly-dallying.”

Xisuma tried the speed first because it was the only one they really had an explanation for. It tasted slightly carbonated and had an electric sweet flavor that was a little strong for his taste buds, but he still liked it. His head sorta swayed, but he didn’t really feel different as he stood still. 

 

“You feel okay Xisuma?” Keralis, who had joined the group again when everyone crowded around the center, asked slowly. Xisuma nodded, but he accidentally nodded so fast it made him feel dizzy. He stepped forwards to catch himself, and really without thinking, he was a much farther distance from the group than he was originally. 

 

“Oh that's weird.” He giggled. The other hermits laughed with him, and forgetting about the organically goal completely, he tried to test the limits of his temporary superpower. 

 

He ran around the room, and felt the dizziness fade away as he embraced his speed. The small rooms to the side whizzed by his vision as he lapped around the room, and his feet felt lighter than they ever had as the energy boost coursed through his veins and pumped his legs forwards. 

 

He was actually very giggly about it and laughed as he ran around the room with speeds he couldn’t believe. He was barely even breaking a sweat and it felt like he could outrun anything. He wasn’t really paying attention to where he was running, and while his limit to his speed felt unmatched, his agility clearly had not taken the same hit of whatever was in that potion. He hit a corner of a wall, and tumbled forwards as he winced. His forearm stung, and he fell forwards, only narrowly catching his body with his hands so his head didn’t hit the stone floors. 

 

“Xisuma!” A few hermits yelled as they rushed over. 

 

He giggled, and sat up, trying not to fall backwards now too. His wrists kinda hurt. 

 

“I’m all good! I’m all good!”

 

“Why’s he all giggly?” Grian asked. 

 

“It can be a side effect of speed potions…. Especially when you’ve never had one before.” Doc said slowly, having a half realization. “I might look into that area of his code tonight if this is more than a fluke.”

 

“Mmm.” Grian hummed. 

 

“I’m dizzy.” Xisuma mumbled, trying to figure out how to stand up again. 

 

“That's normal.” Doc said, holding out a hand so Xisuma could stand up. Instead of letting go immediately, he held onto Xisuma by the shoulder, which was nice. It helped Xisuma stop swaying. 

 

“The blood is new.” Grian said, pointing to Xisuma's arm. “Healing was next on the list anyways.”

 

Doc hummed. “Hey Xisuma, we’re going to the bench real quick, and we’re gonna patch up your arm, ok?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Xisuma was standing one moment, sitting the next, a little disoriented from coming down from his speed potion high. He recovered quickly enough, and Stress was next to him again, ready for any questions he might have. 

 

“Here, this is the next potion to try.” Scar said, wheeling over. “It’ll also patch up your arm.”

 

Xisuma trusted everyone here trying to help, but especially Scar and Stress, who both seemed alright with this idea, so he took the potion and drank it. His arm felt tingly, and when he lifted it to see what was happening, he could see the cut just- healing itself. The work that could’ve taken days to close up underneath bandages was just magically fixed in front of his eyes. 

It was incredible. 

 

What was this world, to be full of such wonderful people and such magical features?

“Any memory?” Keralis asked him softly. 

 

Xisuma's lack of awareness of the question was almost enough of an answer. Right- they had been doing all of these things for a reason. Xisuma's head stung when he tried to recall anything from longer than a day ago, and he shook his head. 

 

“I’m sorry- no.”

 

“That leaves one potion.” Etho said. “Our most random.”

 

Xisuma took this one from Etho more carefully than the last two, and titled it back carefully to drink the potion. The flavor was subtle, almost a bitter flavor with a sickly sweet aftertaste on the tip of his tongue, and for a second, not much happened. 

 

And then he burped. 

 

And when he curled forwards, his chest felt another bubble in it, but it didn’t go all the way through, like it was stuck in his chest. His body was lifted from the seat and no one was close enough to grab him before he floated out of reach, scrambling to stay upright. 

 

The struggle was futile, as he still lost balance and involuntarily flipped forwards, almost doing a somersault mid air. “ahh- AHH!”

 

“Oh shoot he’s getting close to-”

 

“THE RAVAGER- WHY DID HE DRINK IT NEAR THERE??”

 

“EVERYONE CALM DOWN-”

 

Xisuma noticed the massive cage he was nearing, as he was flipping upside down still, and his eyes widened in fear. He totally didn’t scream at all - but hey at least he was hard to tell as everyone else was screaming under him as well!

 

“Someone, fly up there and grab him!”

 

“Xisuma! Swim to the side!” 

 

“The ravager is in a cage; It's totally fine!!”

 

“DOES IT LOOK FINE DOC??”

 

“I got this!” Someone yelled, and one moment, Xisuma was face to face with the most terrifying beast he had seen so far, something opening its massive jaw, about to snap forwards (Xisuma was suddenly not confident in the structural integrity of iron bars at all), and the next, something was wrapped around his foot, tugging him down swiftly. 

 

Once he was out of sight of the beast, he was more steadily pulled down with the rope wrapped  around his foot. He was still floating, but he was secured to the ground with the rope now, no longer face to face with his doom. 

 

He was basically a human sized balloon right now. 

 

Xisuma was breathing heavily, nearly crying in relief as he laughed off the adrenaline rush, and everyone else was a mix of laughing and freaking out over him as well. Someone grabbed his hand, another anchor to the ground, and Xisuma squeezed it back. He couldn’t tell who it was through the surge of emotions of terror and relief and the continuous dizzy feeling from still being pulled upwards. 

 

“Jimmy taught me that.” Tango said proudly. “My rancher was a good teacher.”

 

Xisuma didn’t know who Jimmy was, but if he ever met them, he’d thank them a thousand times for teaching Tango lassoing skills. 

 

Someone pulled him down a little more so they could hold his other hand, and after that jumpscare, he was very grateful for it. He was fine. He was fine. Xisuma was fine, and alive, and completely unharmed. He breathed out slowly. 

 

“Someone get some milk.” Etho mentioned, kinda mumbling. “Stop him floating.”

 

His request seemed mostly unheard, but it was fine because just a few seconds later, Xisuma was floating down slowly, before completely falling for the remaining foot of air. 

 

Hermits scrambled to help him up, but he waved them off, just continuing to lay on the ground almost comically.

 

“I am very appreciative of the ground right now.” Xiuma mumbled into the stone. “And the laws of gravity. Laws I do not intend to break again.”

 

And with that, Hermits actually laughed as all the adrenaline of the situation wore off, and a joking break was issued for potions for the rest of the day. Xisuma agreed. They were considering mixing potions to make some sort of counter potion, but agreed they would wait a few days for that, and also have intense safety measures taken.

 

Someone mentioned that the worst that could happen would be that Xisuma loses the few memories he’s made since the incident, and they sort of start from scratch with acclimating Xisuma to the world, and the idea made Xisuma’s stomach drop a little. Was it selfish that he wanted to keep the memories he had made thus far so badly? He of course wanted to get his old memories back, but he was also becoming fond of these new ones, and the idea that he could lose it all again terrified him. They were all he had. 

---

“I have one more idea, for Shis- for Xisuma to try today.” Keralis whispered. He took off his bag gingerly, and took out a small box. From the box, he pulled some photos out, and held them to Xisuma. They were individually wrapped in a clear film, clearly to protect them from damage of any kind, and Xisuma knew these were special, and possibly quite old. Keralis had been hoping he wouldn’t have to use these as a last resort. Xisuma knew it. 

 

Xisuma carefully held two of them, and looked at the one in his right hand first. It was a slightly blurry photo of a group of people he didn’t recognize posing for a photo. Not everyone was looking at the camera correctly, but the entire thing felt so full of life. He recognized Keralis before he could recognize the person he thought was himself, because the armor looked a little different. Keralis had an arm slung around him, and another armored person was next to them both. He vaguely recognized Joe a few people over, but the man looked wildly different, with shorter brown hair, clear square glasses, and a much simpler outfit. The large ‘@’ symbol on his shirt remained the same. 

 

When he looked away from the photo without saying anything, he felt the air shift into something more solemn. The second film was a photo of Xisuma holding up a fancy arm bracelet, with banners behind him. 

 

“Our new admin!” The big sign behind the old him read, and Xisuma’s heart sped up. So it was true. He was their admin. Even if not now, he was at some point, and couldn’t remember any of it. He had already sort of pieced it together, but seeing himself in such a big moment of his life- one he had no connection to outside of this photo- it felt so much more real. 

 

He was wearing a paper crown in the same photo with a ‘2’ drawn bold enough to see even with the grainy photo. He looked so happy. He looked so much younger than the person he had seen in the mirror yesterday. 

 

“Season 1 and 2.” Keralis said, voice wavering. “Those might be too old-” He took the photos back from Xisuma with incredible care, as if breathing wrong would shatter the photos. “These are more recent. They might- you might-” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

 

Xisuma took the next 3 photos. The first was of Grian, with his considerably recognizable wings, crashing into a hug of someone much taller in a black suit. He was short enough that the other person was able to pick up and at least hold his weight long enough for the photo to be snapped. Xisuma was in the corner by a purple square thing, smiling fondly at the scene of the two hermits hugging. 

 

The next was of Keralis and Xisuma taking a selfie, but they were both wearing bee-themed outfits, and even Xisuma's helmet had been fitted with fake antennae and stripes. They were in a jungle, and a clean white building was behind them. Xisuma didn’t know what it was for. 

 

And the last was the weirdest, because it looked like there were 2 visions of him in front of a massive black building with some sort of coin on the front. The person in red was scowling and crossing his arms, hunched over while the person in pink had a strong arm pulling them close, doing a peace sign for the camera while they smiled. 

“Who’s that?” Xisuma asked, only then aware how he hadn’t spoken in a while. No one had. 

 

Keralis looked over his shoulder, to see which photo he was looking at. “Your brother.” He answered. 

 

“I have a brother?”

Xisuma went a little numb after that. The day had been… overwhelming… to say the least, and now he knew there were so many more people in his life he couldn’t remember. He had a brother. He didn’t even know their name. As much as he didn’t want to forget more -if that was even possible- he kinda just spaced out. And he didn’t really know what happened after Stress gently guided him away from the group and sat him on a bed in a cozy pink room with only 3 walls. He knew people were talking, making plans, and he knew it was later and they were probably calling things off for the day, but he couldn’t focus on much. He was still grappling with the fact that his memory was lost, and with every new thing he learned about himself, and with every failed experiment the fear at this was all permanent was growing stronger. He could feel that everyone else felt similarly. 

 

Stress mentioned something about being right back, and asking if he was okay for a moment alone, and he nodded. As much as he was vulnerable in this strange world, he was still a person capable of sitting still for a few moments. He could take care of himself. 

 

But then he thought about that too. Could he- actually take care of himself? Sure, he was an adult, and sure, he had clearly been in a position of great power before, but right now, like this, was he able to take care of himself?

 

He didn’t know what air he needed until someone else told him. 

 

He didn’t know what mobs were; He didn’t know how to fight them. 

 

He didn’t know how to fly, or what other dimensions there were, or the consequences of respawn. 

 

He didn’t know what potions did, or how to think about their effects before drinking one and struggling to manage what they did.

 

Xisuma breathed in the fact that alone, he was vulnerable to everything. He wouldn’t survive a day alone. Not right now. 

 

And something about that was terrifying, because in every aspect, he was a little bit alone. No one else knew what it felt like to not recall things from more than a day ago. No one else knew what it was like to wake up in a room full of strangers who knew your name better than you could. No one could understand. 

 

He looked at the people crowded in the lobby. They were discussing something passionately, and Xisuma knew it was about him. Anything people were ever saying out of earshot was about him. It was so weird to feel like he was the center of the universe. He wasn’t sure he liked the feeling, but it was nice to know others cared. 

 

They cared a lot, huh? They cared so much, and he didn’t even really know why. And… even when he didn’t know them, even when they could have abandoned him and he’d never know, they stuck with him. They knew he would never be the same person they loved- he couldn’t be like this, not having lived that life that made him who they once loved- but they cared anyway. If he couldn’t take care of himself, they would be here to help him every step of the way. He had a feeling there wasn’t a timer on that extent of help either. 

 

Actually, no. No. No. Xisuma wasn’t alone. He was surrounded by family and friends. And just because they didn’t understand how he felt on a deeper level, didn’t mean they couldn't sympathize and help him. It didn’t mean they weren’t grieving too. It was a different sort of loss for them, but it still hurt them. Xisuma couldn’t say it wasn’t real grief either. 

 

Xisuma, tucked away in the corner of a room filled with strangers, never felt less alone. He was vulnerable, but he was safe with these… with his Hermits. 

 

---

 

“I think it's time we tell the server.” Cub stated. “Nothing we’ve tried has worked, and more people helping find a solution is better.”

 

“Mention that we can’t crowd Xisuma.” Stress said, “That he's staying at Scarland, and that we can have a meeting tomorrow to all talk as a group, but we can’t suffocate the poor thing and make this more difficult than it is.”

 

Cub nodded, and turned on his communicator. The light was making his glasses gleam again, and Xisuma couldn’t see his full reaction. It seemed a little solemn… at least. Xisuma had only joined the group back for the ending of their conversation when Stress waved him over, and while he didn’t know what was said, he knew it wasn’t any sort of celebration or revelation. It was all just sad. Everyone was a little lost on what to do. 

 

Cub was typing, and Xisuma realized that with options expended, the only thread they could hold onto was the idea that someone else might know something. Someone else in this world, or the next, someone Xisuma didn’t know, someone he would have to meet all over again, was going to be the one to help. It was a little scary, having to rely on something so foreign to him. 

 

But it was going to be okay. Like Scar had said, Xisuma was surrounded by family. 

Cub: Hermitcraft, we have a problem. 

Notes:

Stress: hey Cub you have to be detailed in your message to the chat so no one freaks out and we don’t overwhelm Xisuma.

Cub *nods*, then SLAMS THE PANIC BUTTON: fear not. I have it handled.

Chapter 7: A taste of freedom, a touch of family

Summary:

Xisuma meets some family, and gets to touch the sky

“Hey Xisuma,” Scar got X’s attention, waving him over to the kitchen where he was brewing some sort of tea. The “Tea of the Jellie Cat” label on the box was a less than informative title for flavor. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“How would you feel about helping Cleo out today? She's just going shopping, and I figured you don’t want to be cooped up in here all day if you can help it.” Scar offered, picking up the boiling water and pouring them each a cup. The little papers on the strings of the tea bags were cat faces. 

 

“Are we not doing more tests to get my memory back today?” Xisuma asked bluntly. 

 

Scar chuckled, and it sounded a little tired and a little nervous. “We’re uh, taking a break from that today.” He busied himself with putting the pot back on to the stove, and it was clear he was avoiding eye contact. 

 

Xisuma blinked. Scar wasn’t saying something. 

 

And then he figured it out.

 

Oh. They had no more ideas to try, currently. Oh . 

 

“It could be good for you to explore the server a bit more too!” Scar continued. “The shopping district is an amazing place, and Cleo could use the help carrying stuff, or making decisions! She's soooo decisive sometimes- not like in a bad way! She just uh- she likes help sometimes. In picking things. Yeah.”

 

While it was true Xisuma had not gotten to know Cleo much yet through their limited interactions, he had a feeling this was not true. Scar might have had a conman's charm, but he seemed like just as bad a blunt liar. Maybe he was better at lying when his head was in the game. 

 

“Right.” Xisuma said. He wasn’t really agreeing, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

 

“And I have work to do- y’know boring stuff- so I figured it would be more fun for you to hang out with another hermit. You don’t wanna hear one-sided business calls all day.” Scar waved his hand around. “After breakfast I have so many dull- business things.” Scar kept his hands busy and moving, picking up a spoon and stirring his barely-brewed tea. He had honey and a small cup of milk to the side to pour in, but Xisuma had already decided he wanted to try the tea on its own before adding either. 

 

“Right. Yes.” Xisuma repeated. “I can hang out with Cleo today. I don’t mind.”

 

“Great! I’ll text her, and she’ll walk you to the shopping district, and you two can make a day out of it!” Scar smiled, and because Xisuma was looking closely, he saw that it was a little strained. 

 

Scar pulled out his communicator, and Xisuma, to his surprise, actually recognized it as that. He recognized that it was a communicator, and remembered that everyone on a server was supposed to have one. 

 

Actually, now that he had the chance to think about it, where was his? Everyone, players and admin alike, were supposed to have one at all times. Did someone have it for safekeeping? Had he lost it completely? Was it left in that weird lab room still? Maybe he would ask for it today, so he could piece together more of his old life from it. There was still so much he was missing. 

 

Xisuma sort of tuned out what Scar was saying while he typed something to presumably Cleo, while he thought about all he didn’t know. Maybe the old-him would’ve already had the solution to all of this. Maybe the right-now-him could learn about his old life through talking to the family he had woken up surrounded by, and he would learn- or remember - some critical information to solve everything. If they had no ideas anyways, it was worth a shot. It was a goal to move towards, at the very least. 

 

Scar mentioned something about waiting for Cleo to arrive, and Xisuma sat at the table, picking at the end of his fruit plate and sipping at the sweetened tea that needed no milk or honey, formulating a plan in his head.  

 

He was going to hang out with Cleo for the day, and while they did shopping, he could ask about his life. If it didn’t spark his memory, it could at least point him in the right direction to research things. He could also ask about his communicator and if could get it back, and while helping her, he could try to piece things together. 

 

It was a slightly shaky plan, because there really wasn't a guarantee he would learn anything useful, but he was going to try anyway. He was going to be helpful, on the chance that Scar was telling the truth about Cleo being indecisive, and it was going to be a productive day. 

 

Xisuma wasn’t just going to exist in ignorance, he was going to take control of his situation and learn about who he was. 

 

---

 

Scar walked Xisuma to the shopping district, a nice nature hike after breakfast was cleaned up, and a woman with fiery red hair stood waiting. 

 

“Heya Cleo!” Scar waved out to her. Xisuma waved much more timidly next to him. 

 

“Hey Scar, Hey Xisuma.” Cleo smiled. “How is the morning treating ya?”

 

“Pretty good I'd say.” Scar answered. “Pancakes for breakfast.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Cleo continued the small talk, while X just stood there. “Glad you got something in your system. You’re gonna need it for today.”

 

“Got a long grocery list?” 

 

“Eh, not worse than normal.” Cleo shrugged. 

 

“It feels like you're dropping me off for my first day of grade school.” Xisuma chuckled nervously. He felt like a small child, standing by their parent and hiding behind their leg while the adults made small talk. He was obviously not, but the visual made him giggle.

 

“Heh.” Cleo laughed. “I can’t promise this’ll be as fun as preschool, but we’ll have our own fun.”

 

Scar laughed too, and stepped slightly away. “I’ll love to continue our adult chit chat, but I do have some stuff to finish back at scarland, so I’ll leave you both to your day out.”

 

“It's shopping, Scar, not Disneyland.”

 

“Well Xisuma lives in our own Scarland right now, so mundane shopping is new! You’ll have fun!”

 

“Yeah yeah.” Cleo rolled her eyes and smiled. “Go get to your work scar.”

 

“Bye!” Xisuma waved. He really did feel like he was being dropped off. 

 

“Business calls await me!” Scar called out, and then spun on his heel, and started walking back to his base. 

 

“Come’on X, I’ll show you the heart of the shopping district.” Cleo said. Xisuma only nodded, following Cleo to a path near the edge of what looked like a small town. 

 

They walked by many beautiful and interesting buildings, and when they were in some sort of center of it, Cleo stopped walking. She looked at Xisuma with a solemn frown, and he immediately felt like something was wrong. Trying not to assume the worst, he waited for her to talk first. 

 

“I don’t think we should be keeping any information from you.” Cleo sighed. She looked away. “Even if it stings a little.”

 

Xisuma just listened to her, not understanding where she was going yet. 

 

“I don’t know where they put your communicator, nor if you have it, but if you haven’t been able to read the chat messages between the whole server-” She had what looked like an upgraded communicator with stickers and key charms on it, a dark teal color, in her hand, and clicked it on tapping the screen a few times before handing it to him. “Here. Yesterday’s conversation starts around there, and you can read through the messages from then.” Cleo explained. “You should read through them.”

 

She looked at him square in the eye as he took it slowly. “I have nothing to hide, and everyone can see the general chat. Scroll as far upwards as you wish while I shop.”

 

“But uh- Scar said you needed help uh- making decisions? And carrying stuff? For shopping.”

 

Cleo just raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. “And you believed him?”

 

Xisuma sheepishly smiled, “Not really.”

 

“You have fun reading that and I’ll come find you when I'm done. If you get bored, you can walk around the area, it's probably the safest area besides Scarland right now. In terms of the monsters and things showing up.”

 

“That's somewhat reassuring.”

 

“Good.” Cleo said. “Now get to reading before the chat gets spammed and you screw something up and can’t find the same spot again.”

 

Xisuma chuckled. “Will do.”

---

 

Xisuma found a nice spot to sit down, a small bench on the side of some roads between buildings, and started reading through the messages. He didn’t recognize all of the user names, but from the names he had learned yesterday, he could make assumptions about some of them.

 

Cubfan135: hermitcraft, we have a problem

 

BdoubleO100: ??

 

Cubfan135: As of yesterday afternoon, Xisuma has lost his memory. He drank a suspicious stew and a potion mixed together, blacked out, and has no recollection of anything upon waking up. We didn’t want to alarm the server in case it was a temporary fluke, but after many tests to get his memory back with no avail, we need the help of everyone here to find a cure for his amnesia. Calling friends who may know things on potions, soups, or memory loss is helpful. Please do not run experiments alone. We don’t want any more accidents like this. 

 

BdoubleO100: WHAT?!!

 

Cubfan135: He’s staying at Scarland for the time being, but please don’t visit. We don’t want to overwhelm him. 

 

BdoubleO100: HE’S HURT AND YOU WANT US TO STAY AWAY?

 

Cubfan135: he's not hurt. Physically. This is emotionally difficult for him as well. We can’t crowd him right now

 

BdoubleO100: but

BdoubleO100: what do we do?

 

iJevin: this isn’t a funny joke

 

EthosLab: its not a joke.

 

BdoubleO100: YOU KNEW?

 

TangoTek: he wasn’t supposed to

 

EthosLab: Bdubs i’m coming over

 

FalseSymmetry: how many people are in on this?

 

Stressmonster101: me, scar, grian, and cub were there at the incident. We asked some other hermits to help immediately, and even that was a lot for xisuma to handle. Please don’t come and crowd him

 

FalseSymmetry: Is he okay?

 

Rendog: Xisuma’s memory is gone? This is for real?

 

BdoubleO100: what do we do? Tell me what to do! How can i help??

 

Docm77: I’ve been looking through his code, but if anyone else is experienced in code or could point me where to look that would be helpful. 

 

impulseSV: do you need any potions? Any other supplies?

 

iskall85: is this for real? Our admin’s gone? Is he okay???

 

Stressmonster101: i don’t know. Im’ sorry

 

Welsknight: please tell me this is a joke

Welsknight: cub tell me this is a joke

Welsknight: tell me right now that this is a joke

Welsknight: tell me it's reversible. 

Welsknight: please

 

Stressmonster101: we’re trying our best to find a cure. We need everyones help to find one. 

 

Welsknight: i’ll go anywhere. Just tell me where to look. 

 

Cubfan135: Hermit Meeting Tomorrow at Noon. bring any knowledge or ideas you have, and we’ll make more plans. We’re figuring this out. 

 

MumboJumbo: I had my notifications silenced- what happened???

 

iskall85: read back mumbo.

 

MumboJumbo: ok??

MumboJumbo: WAIT WHAT?? WAIT WAIT WAIT NO NO NO

 

Grian: mumbo it’s gonna be ok. We’re meeting tomorrow and we’re gonna figure it all out. 

 

MumboJumbo: YOU DON’T KNOW THAT GRIAN

 

iskall85: mumbo, its gonna be okay. Take a deep breathe

 

MumboJumbo: i cna;t

 

iskall85: do you need someone to come over?

 

MumboJumbo: yes

 

Grian: i’m on it

 

iskall85: me too. We’ll be ther soon munbo

 

MumboJumbo: thx

 

GeminiTay: i just read back, and is this real? I’m kinda reading it through tears but uh- is there anything i can do to help? Is he comfortable and safe right now?

 

GoodTimeWithScar: he’s doing better! We’re making pasta right now, and he’s petting jellie. Hes just as confused as we are. But hes okay. 

 

GeminiTay: good. Thanks for telling me. 

 

PearecentMoon: Hey Impulse lets head to the base right now. Soup group sleepover.

 

impulseSV: i’ll get the blankets

impulseSV: anyone that needs some comfort or company, the soup group base is open. 

Xisuma found himself smiling. He blinked, not having done so for a while, and noticed his eyes were a little welled up. He couldn’t easily wipe his cheeks with his helmet on, so he tried to hold them back, but a tear slid down anyways. He mourned the life he couldn't remember, and he felt sorry for the people that loved his old self so much. He cried for the people that were so caring. They instantly flocked to one another in times of crisis, and no one was left out. It was admirable. He wanted to be in their family again. 

 

The chat logs kept going, but through blurry eyes, he decided he needed a moment. He’d read the rest in a few minutes.  

Xisuma eventually finished reading the messages, and while he didn't recognize many of the names, his heart still ached for these people mourning. There were admittances of heartbreak, so many panicked questions, and several plans to meet up in groups for comfort and planning. This was really a community, huh. 

 

A community he was a part of. Or a community he would be a part of again. One way or another. 

 

He put Cleo’s communicator in his pocket, and decided to look around while he had some free time to. It was a gorgeous area after all, and he wanted to explore like a child. Maybe for the second time, but it felt like the first. 

 

He just wandered around the shopping district, marveling at the impressive builds that surrounded him. Taking everything in felt magical. 

 

He stopped by a weird looking bug shaped one, with long spindly legs supporting what looked like a massive rock? He wasn’t sure what it sold, but the chests that littered the ground outside of it just had normal supplies that anyone could need. Wood, stone, and basic things. He wasn’t really sure what the bug-rock theme was for, but it looked cool. 

 

“So.” A voice said behind him. “I guess it's true huh.”

 

Xisuma whipped around from where he was looking through the chests, and the lid fell shut, a loud snapping noise that interrupted the silence. 

 

“Oh- hello?”

 

Xisuma blinked, taking in the other's outfit. It looked… familiar. He didn’t recognize the voice, something a little low and scratchy, nor the face he saw, but something…..

 

Keralis’s photos. The armor wasn’t exactly the same, but it looked similar to his own, just a different color. Some pieces were different shapes and sizes than his own, but it looked like they could have been from the same set. Made by the same company, or the same people. 

 

Xisuma was staring at his brother. For the first time in his memorable life. 

 

He breathed in, and stared, not really sure what to say. 

 

“You look like you’ve never seen me before.” They said, not betraying any emotion. 

 

“.....You’re my brother. Aren’t you?” Xisuma breathed. “I saw a photo.”

 

They didn’t smile or laugh to ease the tension, nor did they cry or step forwards for support. So far, this was the hardest person to read the body language of. They were just still. Cold. 

 

“I am.” They said, “My name’s Ex. We’re twins.”

 

Xisuma stared at his other half, trying to memorize everything they could. Maybe when he looked in the mirror again, he could recognize the similarities better than through the glimpse of the photo. He didn’t know what to say. 

 

“You don’t recognize me. The rumors are true.” They said again, breaking the short silence.

 

Xisuma wondered why they couldn’t find out for themself- why they relied on rumors- but decided not to ask yet. This stranger was their brother, but they didn’t act like a brother. No rushing to aid, no frantic questions, no emotion . 

 

“Were we….. On good terms?” Xisuma breathed, trying to understand it. “I’m missing things.”

 

“Clearly.” Ex said. Their demeanor didn’t break, but they shifted their weight to the other foot. If that was some sort of tell, Xisuma couldn’t know yet. 

 

“To answer your question-” Ex sighed, and some of the emotional shield they held up broke down. They glanced away. “We’re not on good terms often. But most recently? Yeah, I guess.”

 

Xisuma blinked at them. That was a lot to unpack actually. “I’m sorry I can’t remember.” Was what he ended up saying. It wasn’t an apology, it was a way to say ‘this sucks. I feel bad that this is something we are both going through’. He wasn’t sure if his tone of voice came out right.

 

“Don’t apologize.” Ex answered. So clearly Xisuma’s voice didn’t quite communicate the message of shared sorrow. “It's probably better that you’ve forgotten all the awful shit I did.” They said, looking away for longer this time. It felt like they were waving off things now. Maybe his brother was easier to read than he thought after all. 

 

“I’d much rather remember it all.” Xisuma joked, trying to lighten the tone of what nearly felt like a stand off. “Had to have had some good moments in there too. Something funny in there.”

 

“The good didn’t outweigh the bad, if that’s what you’re asking.” Ex rolled their eyes. “Can’t really tell if I like this-” They twisted their hand side to side in front of Xisuma “-neutral ground much though.” They frowned. “I’m glad you kept the annoying optimism though.”

 

“Heh.” Xisuma tried to laugh. It felt horribly forced and awkward. “Gotta have a little optimism in a situation like this I think. Don’t got much else to my name.”

 

“I-” Ex stopped. They stared at Xisuma, and it looked like they were thinking something over before speaking. “I just- I came here to see if they were lying to me.” They half-explained. “I hate when they lie to me, and I know they wouldn’t have a good reason to lie to me about you, but I wanted them to be lying to me.” Ex stained. Their voice seemed to break a little. 

 

Xisuma felt confused. Why would the hermits lie to his brother? What was the relationship between Ex and the kind people he had met so rocky Ex assumed malice first? 

 

“And now you’re here, and you’re the same void-dammed person,-” Ex continued their rant. “-but you don’t recognize me, and its awkward as fuck!”

 

That was… that was the first time Xisuma had heard someone swear yet. It felt a little out of place. It was weird. 

 

Ex took a deep breath in, trying to calm down, and the way they did it made it seem like it was a skill they learned recently. They had to force it, and look away, and Xisuma almost felt bad for staring so much. 

 

“Listen. I’m sure your friends will find a cure, so like- none of this matters anyways.” Ex muttered. “You’ll just remember everything soon, and it’ll all be fine, and you’ll remember how shitty I am, but you’ll still be nice about it like you always are, and it’ll all be fine, so don’t even worry about it.” Ex said. “I just came here to see if they were lying. And I hoped they were, for once.”

 

“Are the hermits not your friends in the same way were- are - mine?” Xisuma asked. He knew there was a lot of history he was missing, but it was hard to ignore the phrasing of everything Ex had been saying. It was hard to make sense of what Ex was saying, and piece together the past, and read Ex’s body language all at once. Xisuma felt out of his league with this emotional situation. He didn’t know how to both get answers, and comfort his brother. 

 

“That's what you focused on!?” Ex exclaimed, whipping his body towards Xisuma again. 

 

“Your phrasing has been weird this whole time.” Xisuma observed. “I’m an amnesiac. I’m not deaf.” 

 

Ex seemed to pause at the half-joke. They blinked, and tried to think of something, but it was as if their anger had dissipated within a second. They laughed with a strained smile, and looked at Xisuma with conflicted eyes.

 

“Glad your damn humor’s the same.” They laughed. “Your bullshit comedic timing is the only thing you had going for you. A whole server of found family and stupid fucking jokes no one can laugh at.” He laughed. Xisuma felt the need to point out that it got them to laugh, but bit his tongue. Ex clearly needed a moment. 

 

“You’re the same stupid person, with stupid jokes and stupid friends and stupid optimism.” Ex mumbled. “And you don’t recognize me.”

 

“We’ll figure out something.” Xisuma tried to reassure them. “The hermits all seem smart. They’ll figure it out.”

 

“They’re all dumbasses.” Ex said, stealing their expression a little more. “Your friends- your ‘hermits’.” Ex quoted with their fingers. “Are not my friends. There are a few exceptions.”

 

“Why? What happened?” Xisuma asked. 

 

Ex sighed. “I tried to destroy this place. Well not exactly this place, but another one they lived in. A few times actually.” They rubbed the back of their neck. Most of them aren’t too fond of me. That feeling is mutual.”

 

“Destroying this beautiful place?” Xisuma asked, looking around the shopping district where they stood. Every building was unique, with its own charm and style. If he had time to, he wanted to explore every one of them and examine every detail he could. He was standing in the love and creativity of many people, and it was a wonderful thing. 

 

“Why?” 

 

There really wasn’t a better way to phrase it. 

 

“A different one.” Ex corrected, avoiding the question. “An older server.”

 

“That doesn't seem all that kind.” Xisuma said, still asking for a reason. Sure Ex was a little touchy and broody and clearly had some difficulty expressing emotions, but they didn’t seem like the malicious type either. Xisuma didn’t get it. 

 

“It wasn't!” Ex shouted, spreading their arms in frustration. “It wasn’t kind! It was evil. Don’t you get it! I’m not a good person! I’m evil! My name-” Ex breathed in roughly, like he was hesitating to say it. “My full name is Evil Xisuma! I’m the evil version of you!”

 

They were nearly crying in frustration now. So much for being hard to read.

 

“Why, even when you know I've done shitty things,” Ex was breathing heavily. “-and you don’t remember my whole character redemption arc or whatever Zed fucking called it- are you still so friendly?!”

 

“Aren’t you my brother?”

 

“I’m a stranger to you!”

 

“It sounds wrong to give up on family.” Xisuma frowned. “I may not know you, but you seem to be going through a lot. You’re trying to be good, you just have a funny way of coping.”

 

Ex breathed, scowling through his visor. Xisuma saw through it, and a glint of a tear gave away Ex’s stature. 

 

“You don’t know me.” Ex said. “Not anymore. You don’t remember me.”

 

“You’re not a very closed book.” Xisuma spoke. “You don’t look familiar, and I don't know your mannerisms or tics, but you’re hurting. A lot. I’m sorry.”

 

Xisuma opened his arms slightly, inviting Ex in for a hug. He wasn’t sure if it was the right move, but his arms were low enough that he hoped Ex didn’t feel pressure to give Xisuma a hug. Ex didn’t move, but Xisuma kept his arms slightly open, not removing the offer too quickly. 

 

They both breathed in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Two halves reuniting after disaster. Two strangers meeting for the first time. 

 

“Why did you have to go and be such a derp?” Ex sobbed, growling the words. He stumbled a step forwards and slumped into X’s hold. The armor was clunky, and it made a weird sound as Ex’s crashed into his. Ex didn’t make much of an effort to hug Xisuma back, but they didn't need to; X figured out how to hold them gently on his own.

 

 “You’re still a trusting fool, even as vulnerable as you are. You don’t even know me. I could be planning to stab you in the back.” Ex argued with him, crying. “A fuckin derp.”

 

“Derp.” Xisuma chuckled, trying not to cry as well. “I like that word.

 

“You practically invented it.”

 

“I like it.” Xisuma repeated. “Derp..” He mumbled to himself. 

 

Ex stood there limply in his arms, and Xisuma held them for a while. Ex repeated the statement once or twice of not to be so trusting. That someone might take advantage of him like this. Xisuma told them that he trusted these strangers. These hermits. His hermits. 

 

And his guard was still up, and he was still trying to be as aware of his surroundings as he could, and he was a little jumpy and his feelings towards every person he met were conflicted. 

 

But something told him, with or without his memory (“without” was a thought he refused to touch before. He thought about it more now. Acceptance of this situation felt less scary than it had before) things would turn out alright. 

---

 

Ex had said they were going to some sort of scientist’s house to find some “weird as fuck” (in their words) potion to fix Xisuma. And if that didn’t work, they’d travel to something called a “bastion” in another dimension, because: “If those pigs know how to mix potions, they might have information.” Xisuma wasn’t sure if they actually meant pigs, because they honestly sounded absurd, but he figured he could ask another hermit about it later. 

 

Ex didn’t like feeling guilty for having a bad history that Xisuma couldn't remember. And they didn’t like they had a whole “character improvement arc” that Xisuma was proud of them for, just so that Xisuma could go and forget the whole thing. Xisuma said that they shouldn’t need his approval. They should just be proud of themself for all the progress they made. Ex called him a derp for that. Again. 

 

Xisuma only told them to stay safe, not to mix potions and soups, and to not be afraid to stop by again. That was his brother. 

“Hey, X!” Cleo walked up to him, waving with weirdly freed arms. Hadn’t she been shopping?

 

“Oh hello Cleo!” He said, waving back. 

 

“Are you ready to leave? Seen enough?”

 

“Ah yes I'm alright to depart.” Xisuma nodded, “But I'm confused. Weren’t you shopping?”

 

“Yes. I did. And I'm done.” She nodded. 

 

“But where are the things you bought?”

 

Cleo blinked at him slowly, like she was trying to figure out how to word something. “For simplicity's sake, let's just say they were put in storage.” She said, “It's something I can teach you about later, but I have a feeling it’ll bring up a lot of questions, and I'd like to teach you something else instead for now.”

 

At the mention of getting to learn something, Xisuma perked up. 

 

“Thought you’d be excited.” Cleo smiled. It was almost sad in a way, how she knew he would be so excited about the concept of learning. She knew him so well. He was still trying to remember her name.

 

“Now get ready,” She started. “I’m gonna teach you how to fly .”

 

---

 

Xisuma felt a weird mix of fear and excitement, and he almost wanted to ask for someone to do that magic trick to let him breathe air in a certain area just so he could take his helmet off and take a deep breath. Or so he could vomit if he needed to. Flying sounded like the type of thing to make someone nauseous.  

 

“Now,” Cleo held up a shiny piece of purple fabric that seemed to shimmer even without light. “We’re gonna take this slowly, and if you don’t get it today, that's okay.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“These things are called ‘Elyra’ and they’re a mode of transport for us. They help us fly, glide, and get places faster than a lot of other ways to travel. We’re gonna work on gliding first, and if you get the hang of it fast, we’ll add rockets.”

 

“Rockets?”

 

“Rockets are something we use to take off from the ground, or propel ourselves from the air. The elytra on their own only let us glide.”

 

Xisuma nodded, trying to contain his excitement. He was actually having a lot of fun, learning how to do something. He liked the clear explanations, and he felt like this was actually something very useful to know. It was really exciting!

 

She showed him how to clip the elytra on, and then how to crouch, and jump in the air high enough to spread out the wings so he could glide down. It resulted in a few too many face plants into the ground, even one from Cleo herself, before he was able to jump from a block, glide, and then get his feet under him before landing. He was wobbly, but he was picking up the hang of it much faster than a complete newbie would, and within a few minutes, he was jumping from heights twice as tall as himself, with ease. 

 

Cleo watched his wrists and arms move, ready to give him tips for adjustments, but found him making slight changes to his movements as he jumped from different heights, caught different bursts of winds, and landed more or less softly. Things that could take years to learn before they were second nature, and he already had them figured out. 

 

“Since you’re advancing so fast, I think we try a rocket, and if it goes poorly, we can call this successful anyways. You’ve made a lot of progress for today.”

 

“Thank you!” Xisuma beamed at the praise. “How do we start with rockets?”

 

“First, I want you to feel familiar with setting them off in front of yourself.” Cleo instructed, pulling a rocket from her pocket. “If you’re scared of it when it's in front of you, you can’t trust it to keep you steady in the air.”

 

Xisuma nodded, and watched carefully, as she set it on the ground, held her face away from the tip, and pulled a string at the end of it. It exploded instantly, and a line of sparkly white particles shot straight up into the air. There was no dramatic explosion at the end. It just sort of fizzled out. 

 

“Keep the tip away from your face, and pull the tab.” She instructed as she handed him one. “If you ever test a set of rockets and one of them has colors in the air, don’t use them to fly. Those rockets are fireworks, and when they explode, they can hit you in the air and hurt you. They can be hard to tell apart sometimes unless they’re labeled.”

 

He took in the information carefully, and held the rocket in the same way she did to test it. Again, it shot straight up, and fizzled out, with no dramatic colors. 

 

“Now we’ll try them in our hands, and then we’re ready to try them in the air.”

 

He expected a sting from the spark in his hand, but when they both pulled the tab together, C emphasized to keep it away from his face, and he only felt the quick and strong pressure in the hand that had released the rocket. If he hadn't been so careful, he would’ve fallen forwards from the strength of it, and he was glad he was learning this before leaping into the air. 

“Now here's where it gets a little tricky…” Cleo said, handing him a few more rockets. “Because we can’t practice it on the ground.”

 

Xisuma watched as she climbed up two blocks from the mini staircases they made earlier to practice gliding, and held a rocket in her hand. 

 

“Now this is a little hard to demonstrate.” She took the rocket, and clearly showed the act of turning it around upside down so the tab was pointed to the sky. “But to actually use these, we have to point them upside down, so they propel us forwards. Some people turn them in other directions for quick turns, but that's much too advanced for right now. It's even tricky for me. You want to already be gliding before you use one, or it’ll probably just slip out of your hand, or just give you a particularly big jump in your step if you get lucky. Without an activated elytra, these won’t help you fly.”

 

“Ok…”

 

“Now I'm going to jump, activate my elytra, and quickly pull the rocket to go upwards. This is a little easier from up higher….” Cleo mumbled, standing only 2 blocks higher than the ground. “But this will be easier to see if I can actually do it. And it's safer from this height if I screw up.”

 

It all happened very fast. Xisuma was glad she explained it first, because if he blinked, he would have been very lost, or would have missed the whole thing. She jumped off the platform, flicked out the elytra with one hand and had the rocket ready in the other, thay she pulled as soon as her first hand was free. She shot up into the air like a bullet, before slowly falling, and then spinning in circles back to the ground. It was incredibly graceful, in Xisuma’s correct opinion. 

 

“Woah… that was incredible…” He stared in awe. 

 

“I was a little shaky on my landing, but I’ll take the compliment!” Cleo grinned. “Glad I didn’t fall on my face and make a fool of myself there.” She chuckled. 

 

Xisuma chuckled nervously. “That looked really difficult.”

 

“Yep!” She grinned. “Now get up there X!”

 

He tried to protest, but she had him up the two blocks with an upside down rocket in his hand before he knew what was going on, and he just had to swallow his fear and trust the process. 

 

And then he fell on his face. 

 

“HA!” Cleo cackled. “Oh I’m sorry for laughing-” She was having trouble stopping laughing. “I just haven’t seen you screw up so bad in a while. I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

 

“It's quite alright.” Xisuma chuckled too, dusting himself as he stood up with Cleo’s help. “I imagine I looked quite silly.”

 

“Heh- I think your height is not doing you any favors here. Rockets are harder than just gliding. Maybe we should raise this up a block.” She considered

 

“So I fall from even higher!?”

 

“So you have more time! You need to activate your elytra before the rocket can work!”

 

Xisuma dramatically dropped his shoulders and frowned, and she laughed. “Get up there you big baby.”

 

It sounded like reasonable logic(not the big baby part), so Xisuma listened, and went up a block higher. He fell on his face again. After a burst of determination, three more falls, and another block added to his pedestal, he took a deep breath, jumped off, and did it. Whipping his elytra out right after he jumped gave him just enough time to fire the rocket before he grazed the tall grass below him, and then, he was flying . 

 

Xisuma actually closed his eyes, waiting for the impact, but when he didn’t feel the pain in his legs he expected, and felt the push of air around his arms, he blinked them open. 

 

“Oh my void.” He whispered. 

 

He felt the plummet of free fall in his stomach before he noticed his view start to change, and realized he was starting to fall. 

 

“Shoot another one!” Cleo yelled at him. “Glide down slowly in circles when you want to come down. 

 

Xisuma nodded, and fired the next more carefully. He adjusted his elytra, making sure it was still open, and then looked upwards, propelling himself to higher skies. The view was even more jaw dropping, and Cleo looked smaller from where she stood with her hands on her hips. 

 

He didn’t know any tricks of course, but just being weightless in the air gave him a sort of adrenaline rush he was laughing about. He felt so incredibly alive, allowed to experience this magical world all over again like this. He was free to learn and just take in the world, and he was laughing in joy about it. 

 

Cleo had said to glide down in circles, and he tried to copy what he had seen her do from her demonstration. She had titled her wings inwards to turn, and he assumed it would work the same for him. It felt dizzy, and a little nauseous after enough circles that made his vision spin, but he landed safely. 

 

He grabbed onto Cleo’s arm for support when he started to sway. 

 

“Dizzy huh?” Cleo laughed. “ Yeah you get used to it. Or you find strategies to cope.”

 

“Maybe that should be the next lesson.” Xisuma mumbled.

 

“I’ll prepare my teaching notes.” Cleo promised. “Bring out the ‘ol chalkboard.”

 

Xisuma laughed, when he felt good enough to stand on his own again, he did. 

 

“Now that you can comfortably take off-”

 

“I don’t think one successful takeoff counts as comfortable-” Xisuma interupted. 

 

“I have one more place I’d like to take you for the day. And then I’ll bring you back to Scarland. Is that okay?”

 

“Of course.” Xisuma agreed. 

 

“It's not far from here.” Cleo said, handing him a lot more rockets than she had previously. “But it's up high. Do you think you can follow me while flying?”

 

“I’ll do my best!”

 

Cleo grinned at him, and held up her rockets, jumping from the ground and taking off quickly. It almost felt like it was in slow motion, the way her wrist flicked her elytra out more than actually opening it fully so the wind could do the rest of the work, so she could pull the tab towards the ground in enough time, and Xisuma felt himself staring in awe.

 

Oh wait- he was supposed to be following her-

 

“Give me a moment to get up 4 blocks!” He shouted, and he could hear her laughter from the air. She climbed the mini staircase they had been practicing on earlier, and took a leap of faith, taking off with an ease he wished he had felt earlier into his practice session. 

 

It felt… natural. 

 

He was grinning as he shook the nerves off and adjusted where he was looking to find Cleo in the sky. She waved to him, slowly gliding away, and he propelled himself towards her with another rocket. 

 

“Its close! Its just up high!” She shouted, and when he finally noticed what they were flying too, he was amazed that he hadn’t seen it earlier over the ocean. 

 

A massive floating island was in front of them, with the tips of what looked like a castle peeking from the edge. It was pretty tall if he could see the top from this angle.

 

Cleo flew up there, and Xisuma followed, trying no to let his awe distract him. He’d have plenty of time to marvel at it when he was standing on solid ground again. 

 

His legs braced for the landing when he was high enough to land, and he looked up to see an overgrown palace in front of him. The detail was incredibly intricate, and he felt like he was standing in front of a real life fairy tale. 

 

“Like it?”

 

“It's incredible.”

 

Cleo smiled. “I’ll let you tour it sometime.” 

 

Xisuma was a little confused, because he thought that was the reason they came here, and that question was clearly written on his face, because she answered it before he could ask. 

 

“I took you up here because of that.” She pointed behind him, where a floating ring filled with water surrounded the island. They were over an ocean, and on the shore, he could see the shopping district clearly. 

 

“That view.” She said, sitting down cross legged on the grass near the edge. “It’s my favorite one.”

 

He understood why. 

 

She encouraged him to sit on the grass next to her, and he did, bringing his knees to his chest before letting one fall to the ground. They looked over the water to the shopping district, where the lowering sun was luminating the miniature city from the side. 

 

“Back a season or two, I want to say Season 7?” Cleo said, tapping her chin to think it through. “Yeah, Season 7- You had this flying course that looped through your base and you made a whole game with diamonds on the line and everything.”

 

“I did?” Xisuma's eyes lit up, hearing about his past.

 

“Mhm. You didn’t win your own game, but you didn’t do half bad either. Top five maybe.”

 

“I was that good at flying?”

 

“Better sometimes, when you weren’t being a derp about it.” Cleo chuckled. There was that word again. “Derp”. He was more fond of it now.

 

“I’ll be honest,” Cleo started again. “I think you still have the muscle memory for it. For flying.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I saw you using techniques that can take a really long time to master. You weren’t doing it consciously, but I think your body remembers how to fly.”

 

“But I feel like I'm still learning it all over again.” Xisuma said. It felt almost scary- to think that he still remembered something. That he still had a physical piece of his old life. It was like the scras on his face, but he had to learn about what he could do from thr people around him. He couldn’t just see them in a mirror. It was a whole adventure on its own. 

 

“Maybe, but you're still learning incredibly fast.” Cleo hummed. “There are things you have to remember, to know. When you fly too fast, you need to actually know how to slow down. How to use rockets, how to activity the elytra, a lot of the things we went over today. But the skill of it? The tiny quirks of adjusting yourself midair, or getting your body to twist right quickly? You still know it all.”

 

“I like that I still have that part of me with me.” Xisuma whispered, glancing down at the grass. It was such a beautiful vibrant green. This world was so colorful and alive. 

 

“All of you, is with you.” Cleo said. She looked up at him, and her eyes sparkled. Xisuma would have missed the way the light caught unshed tears of the sun hadn’t been in front of them the way it was. “Your kindness, your patience, your curiosity, and your family. All the important bits.”

 

Xisuma looked at her and smiled. He felt like crying too. He slid his hand over hers and squeezed lightly, grounding them both. “All the important bits.” He repeated back to her. 

 

---

 

They sat on the edge of Cleo’s floating island, watching the sun creep towards the horizon. The adrenaline had worn off, and Xisuma was feeling a comfortable buzz underneath his skin. He was… content. 

 

Sure, he was still confused, and worried, and trying to avoid thinking about the future too much, but he was also just sitting here. Sitting here with a new friend, learning about the world, hearing stories of himself, and watching the sun set slowly. And he was content. 

 

“Hey. I know this is… a lot. For you.” Cleo started the conversation again. 

 

“It's a lot for you all as well.” Xisuma hummed.

 

“It is, but it's all focused on you.” Cleo said. “And just-.” She took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?”

“For being so brave about this.”

 

“I don’t think-”

 

“Oh just learn to take a compliment you silly man!” She scolded lightly. “You’re incredibly brave, and you should know that.” She took a slow breath, and Xisuma knew not to interrupt the moment. “You woke up in a new world, surrounded by strangers, and you didn’t freak out.”

 

Xisuma wanted to argue that he very much did freak out. He just did so quietly, and mostly in his head, but he let her continue instead. 

 

“I probably would have murdered someone.” She chuckled. “Fought my way outta that room, and made some dumb decisions while running. But you’re so brave, to be trusting of others. You’ve always been brave.”

 

They both let the silence sit, and watched the clouds slowly roam across the sky. From up here, the shopping district looked so small, and Xisuma could spot the bug-rock building from earlier. It looked like an actual bug from up here. 

 

“On the topic of thank you’s, I'd like to give you my appreciation for today.” Xisuma spoke, breaking the silence. Cleo turned to him, looking him in the eye, through his visor.

 

“You gave me a lot of freedom I didn't think I was allowed to have, and then taught me something new. So thank you.”

 

“Awe don’t make me tear up X.” Cleo said, wiping at the corner of her eyes. “Again.” 

 

“And you’re a good teacher as well. Everything was so clear and easy to follow.” Xisuma praised. “It makes the world feel a lot less overwhelming.”

 

“I’m glad you think so.” Cleo smiled. “And about that teacher thing, I used to be one, actually.”

 

“Really?” Xisuma asked, surprised with a smile.

 

“A small village on another world.” Cleo said. “I was a different person back then, but I'm glad my teaching skills can come in handy again. I’ll teach you anything I can, if you want.” She offered. Xisuma’s eyes lit up. “Not everything can be taught like this, but I’ll do my best.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The sun started to dip below the horizon finally, and the red color that bled through the sky was gorgeous. The oranges that blended in from the edges made the world look like an oil painting made with the most vibrant of paints, and Xisuma couldn’t make himself look away.

 

 Xisuma knew what a sunset was, but this was still the first time he could remember seeing one. He never wanted to forget something so beautiful again. He wondered if they ever came in other colors. 

 

Birds were chirping from somewhere behind them, and Xisuma had no doubt that the vines and crevices of the castle were perfect places for bird nests and small critter homes. He thought he heard a faint whistle somewhere, something that felt too long to be a single note from a bird call, but he brushed off the thought. They were up high, and he had no idea what was in the castle. It was probably just the wind hitting something at a funny angle. 

 

“Do you know why we decided you’d spend time here today?” Cleo asked, staring towards the sky herself.

 

Xisuma noticed how she didn’t say ‘Scar’. He had a feeling “we” meant more than just her and Scar too. He thought back to the chat; to the rushed messages begging for instruction and reprieve of their sudden griefs. Cub had mentioned where he was staying, Scarland, and several of the hermits he had met had asked the rest of the chat not to visit. 

 

“I think it was to keep my family from rushing to my aid?” Xisuma chuckled lightly. Cleo did too. 

 

“Yeah. Crowdin’ the heck out of you. Lovingly. Like family. You still catch on quick.” She shifted her weight and looked down, off the cliff they dangled from. “They’re all well meaning. They would guise visits with gifts or supplies or something like that.”

 

“There's a lot of them huh? More than I realize.” 

 

“It feels small when you know all of them. But on paper, yeah, I guess there's a lot.”

 

Xisuma blinked, and remembered something. He finished it out of his pocket, and held out the communicator to her. “Thanks for letting me read through it. It's nice to not be left in the dark. I think it helped.”

 

“Helped what?”

 

“Helped me understand things. Helped me feel… connected.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

There was a moment of silence, where Cleo and X just looked over the server, basking in the low glow of the nearly set sun. The warm night was refreshing, and a slight breeze took away some of the heat he still felt from flying up here. It was a little magical to know he could fly now. 

 

“I know it's late, and I know you should head back to Scarland soon- something I promise to accompany you on-” Cleo said, before looking him in the eye slowly, “But would you be okay with meeting one new Hermit today?”

 

“I think I could do that.” Xisuma smiled, nodding gently. 

 

“Ok.” Cleo smiled. “I think he needs it.”

 

Xisuma nodded, trying not to let his heart tug too uncomfortably when he thought about a face he wouldn’t recognize was missing him so deeply. They would be a stranger that knew more about him than he knew about himself. They would be a missing piece of his family. Maybe he needed this too. 

 

“Mumbo!” Cleo called over her shoulder. “You can stop hiding now!”

 

Xisuma sat up a little more, trying to see where she was looking.

 

“Uhm- I'm sorry.” The person said as they stepped out from behind the wall of the building. “I know you said to wait below- and I tried to I really did, but I was dumb- and I’m sorry-”

 

“I heard your rocket going off minutes ago.” Cleo said calmly. “If I wanted you gone. I would’ve called you out then.”

 

“Oh uh- right.” Mumbo swallowed. “Well I thought I was sneaky- but it makes sense that you heard me since I didn’t fly far enough away- it’s a little bit heard over the ocean I’ll be honest- I’m a bit of a spoon about that I suppose.”

 

“Mumbo.” Cleo spoke to stop his rambling.

 

“Right yes-” Mumbo stopped himself again. “Uh- hi?”

 

Cleo took a deep breath, “I think it’d be easier if this was more private.” She said, “I’m going to step away, so you two can talk. I’ll be in my palace. Come get me when you need me again. Or text me.”

 

“Ok.” Mumbo said nervously.

 

“That okay with you, Xisuma?” Cleo asked. 

 

“Yeah it's alright.” Xisuma said. He looked the person up and down, and noticed the crumpled suit, nervous pose, and lack of weapons. They were lanky and a little awkward about it, and within the few seconds of standing there, they had alright shifted their weight from foot to foot several times. Yeah. No threat here. 

 

Oh and Cleo trusted him. That was a good sign too, he guessed. 

 

Cleo hummed, and jumped, taking flight so smoothly it was like she was born with those fake wings. He hoped one day he'd be that good again, if he ever came close to begin with. Even with his muscle memory, he knew he would need practice. She spiraled downwards to the top of her palace, and vanished from his vision. 

 

A few seconds after she left, Mumbo still hadn’t spoken up, and his arms were pinned to his side, arms in front of him like he was trying to curl in on himself while standing up. Xisuma wasn’t sure if he was going to speak up first or not with this nervous kid, so he tried speaking first.

 

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Xisuma asked, clearing his throat. 

 

“Right yes- uhm- sorry.” He stuttered. Xisuma didn’t interrupt him to say there was no need for ‘sorry’s’. He figured this was hard enough to do, and interrupting would make him lose his train of thought. 

 

“My name is Mumbo. And I know you forgot everything, but uh- gods this is awkward.” Mumbo mumbled. 

 

“I assure you, it's not the weirdest encounter I've experienced yet.” Xisuma said. “It's all ok.”

 

“Yes- yes I suppose so.” Mumbo said. He took a dramatically deep breath, and that seemed to actually help calm his nerves. 

 

“I uh- well it's a bit silly, since I trust the other hermits to tell me the truth, but I heard that you’ve lost your memory. And just uh- seeing you. Uh. Yeah.”

 

“Yeah,” Xisuma rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re trying to find it again,” He joked. “Misplaced it somewhere-”

 

It clearly took Mumbo a second to get the joke, but when he did, he nervously laughed loudly, rubbed his face a little, and tried to calm down. 

 

“Same sense of humor…” Mumbo laughed breathlessly. 

 

“Bad jokes?”

 

“Bad dad jokes.” Mumbo said with a little more of a grin. 

 

“I think those must be the best ones then.”

 

“When you tell them they are.” Mumbo said. “But uhm- what I came here to say was….”

 

It was clear he was struggling to piece together the thoughts into something comprehensible out loud. 

 

“Heh-” Mumbo looked like he was avoiding eye contact so he wouldn’t cry. “This is just a little hard to word.”

 

“It's alright. Take your time.”

 

“I had all the words on my way here, but now you’re here, and I just- I can’t-”

 

“Hey hey,” Xisuma wanted to go forward a little to comfort him, but he wasn’t sure if that was wanted or not. He had no idea how Mumbo liked to be comforted, and that was a sad thought. To be this important to someone, he probably knew that at one point. “Just breathe alright? Everything’s gonna be ok.”

 

“This is the second time I’m crying today.” Mumbo sniffled, wiping his eyes with his palm. “Thought I got it all out of my system earlier.”

 

“I know this is difficult.” Xisuma said. “But we still have a lot of ideas to try to get my memory back. It might not be permanent.” He tried to assure Mumbo…. He tried to assure himself .

 

“I’m sorry dad I just-”

 

Xisuma processed the words, and his stomach dropped. 

 

“What did you call me?” He whispered, a little horrified. 

 

Mumbo looked confused for a second, tilting his head and blinking away tears to figure out what Xisuma was talking about, and then it clicked. 

 

“Do I have a- are you my son ?” Xisuma whispered in fear. “Did I forget I have a son ?”

 

“No no no no -” Mumbo started. He rubbed his eyes, trying to stop his crying more so he could talk. “No no I'm sorry- please don’t freak out.”

 

Xisuma only stared at him, trying not to rush to conclusions while Mumbo took a second to collect his thoughts and explain. Mumbo took another dramatic deep breath. 

 

“You’re not my dad- I didn’t mean that.”

 

“But you called me dad ?” Xisuma reiterated.

 

“Yes- I did-” Mumbo said. “But I didn't mean to! You just- you were-” He took a shaky breath in. “You were like a father to me,” He admitted. “You took me in many years ago, and I was the youngest on the server, and you- well you didn’t raise me, but you were there, when I needed you, always. And uh- well.” He swallowed, and Xisuma could only stare and listen. “And well you taught me a lot of what I know now, and you gave me all of the confidence I've ever had and just-”

 

It was clear Mumbo was trying not to cry again now as he continued. Like he was rushing against time to explain everything before he broke down again.

 

“And I never really said thank you for that. And now- well you’re not dead, but you wouldn't know what I was thanking you for- and-.. and it's a bit awkward mate.” He tried to joke, but void his heart was not in it. 

 

“Oh-” Xisuma's voice wavered as he exhaled. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No- don’t be. Please.” Mumbo croaked, eyes red. His body was stiff, clearly taking everything in him to cry again, but he clearly wasn’t that good at it. 

 

Xisuma's expression softened, and he held out his arms, offering a hug. It felt like the right thing to do this time.

 

Mumbo broke a second before he crumpled in Xisuma’s arms. 

 

“You can cry all you need to. It's ok to mourn me. Mourn who I was.” Xisuma said, trying to ignore the waiver in his own voice as he held the kid he just met. His body clearly remembered how to hug more than he remembered ever doing so, because even with his light armor, he knew just the way to shift to make it most comfortable for both of them. When he did so, Mumbo only cried harder. 

 

“It’s gonna be ok.”

Notes:

ok so like the middle of this chapter rested on the fact that Cleo’s base was near the shopping district. I went to look at her season finale video and couldn’t tell where it was relative to anything else, so I have no idea if that's true. I have no idea why I thought it was near the shopping district, but this is an au already so if it's wrong, eh whatever.

thanks for reading! comment if you'd like to!

Chapter 8: Home is where the Hermits Heart's are

Summary:

the hermits have a calm and civil meeting with no issues or unexpected guests! and we get the perspective of some other hermits finally! stop hogging all the spotlight Xisuma!

Notes:

who's gonna get the emotional trauma and grief on this episode?

*spins massive wheel way more violently than needed*

oh! ONE OF THE HERMITS THAT AUTOCORRECT DESPISES OK ALRIGHT!

“We’ve gathered you all here today to discuss a serious issue involving our admin Xisuma.” Cub stated loudly, getting the chattering of the group to die down. They were meeting at Decked out once again, for the same reasons they had met there the first time. The location was well known and spacious, and made breaking into groups easy with the cubby rooms. Cub stood farther in the back, looking at the crowd of hermits mingling around the backroom. Some had fashioned chairs or places to sit, while others were fine with standing or pacing around. 

 

 “Is everyone here so we can begin?” Cub asked. 

 

“Where’s Cleo?” Ren spoke out from the crowd. People looked towards Cub, and a few towards Scar, who was near the edge of the crowd, for the answer. 

 

“And Xisuma?” Hypno asked. “He's kinda the star of the show.”

 

“She's with Xisuma today.” Scar answered the first question. “We uh- we thought it’d be overwhelming for him to meet everyone at once, and I didn’t want to keep him cooped up in Scarland for the whole day so…”

 

“So she's babysitting him?” False asked. 

 

Scar glanced to the side, slightly guilty about the way she phrased it. “Basically yeah.”

 

“I feel like Cleo should be here.” Pearl mentioned. “She was going to talk to me about Scott and about her experience with Time-Based magic.”

 

“She offered to watch Xisuma.” Scar explained. “Said she could show him some stuff today.”

 

“I guess I can call her later.” Pearl muttered. 

 

“Gods you’re all talking about him like he’s a baby.” Jevin scoffed from the block he was sitting on. “Did the potion turn him into a kid too? I’ve dealt with those before. They just wear off.”

 

“Well he has no memory like a child.” Grian said. “And yes, we all know about your child potions. As adorable as those were, please no repeats.”

 

“And this isn’t wearing off.” Cub said. “It’s been days and his memory isn’t even coming back slowly.”

 

“Is it getting worse?” Mumbo asked. 

 

“Worse than factory reset?” Beef looked at mumbo.

 

“Well he could continuously be losing his-” Mumbo stuttered. “Like every day he could forget everything again-”

 

“No no no-” Scar waved his hands in front of himself. “No, he's been able to remember things from the past few days. It's not getting worse.”

 

“So whadda we do?” Bdubs asked, looking around at everyone. “Whadda we do?”

 

The crowd erupted into a lot of overlapping voices, and it was impossible to tell them apart or get anywhere in the conversation. This disorganization didn’t happen often, but they were without a clear leader, and the topic was much more emotional than some regular glitches or world updates. Unlike normal, everyone had something to say. It was chaos. 

 

Stress looked at Iskall, who was oddly quiet in the multiple overlapping conversations, and tried to emphasize something with just her eyes. They got the hint, and pulled out their sword and shield before stepping around the crowd to get closer to the back of the room where Cub was. 

 

“HEY!” They yelled, knocking their sword onto their shield to a loud banging noise. “HEY! SHUSH!”

 

The hermits all stopped talking at once, looking at Iskall. 

 

“We aren’t getting anywhere talking like this. Even during normal meetings we aren’t this bad!”

 

“Xisumas the leader during normal meetings!” Tango said, and there were murmurs of agreement through the crowd. 

 

“And Xisuma is a quiet man!”

 

“And Cleo speaks up for him.” Impulse added. “She's not here either.”

 

“We have plenty of capable leaders to get through a single meeting without our admin.” Iskall said. “Cub, you organized this meeting, you’re the leader. You call on people to talk. We’re all raising our hands like school kids now. No complaining.”

 

Grian was about to speak up, but Iskall caught his gaze and glare before he could, and he shut his mouth. 

 

“Good? Good.” They said, stepping away from Cub to give him more room to talk. 

 

“Thank you.” Cub cleared his throat. “Ok, let's start with what we know, and catch everyone up to speed.”

 

All the hermits, even the ones who clearly had things to say, held their tongues to let their temporary leader go over everything. 

 

“Xisuma drank a soup mixed with a potion, and has forgotten his memory. The amnesia hasn’t worn off thus far, and he hasn’t shown any signs of remembering any part of his old life. We’ve tried giving him other potions, but nothing helped to reverse effects. We’ve read old books, but haven’t found any information on this so far, to my knowledge. We’re working on several ideas for solutions, but this is now a server issue. It’s more severe than just an accident that could work itself out, and all safe and reasonable ideas are welcome.” Cub took a breath, and found Doc’s eyes in the crowd. 

 

“Doc, have you found anything in the server logs or his code so far?”

 

“I’ve been looking through the worst possible options first, so I’m actually relieved to say I've found nothing.” Doc explained. “That being said, it crosses off things. It's not a respawn glitch, so I’m fairly confident Xisuma can die and respawn safely now, but I would still like to avoid testing that theory.”

 

Murmurs of agreement waved through the crowd, and Doc cleared his throat. 

 

“It also means dying is unlikely to have any chance of restoring his memory, but if he dies on accident, we’ll get answers for both hypotheses. I’ve also checked off it being a player glitch, so it isn’t anything perma-life threatening.”

 

Many relieved sighs came from the crowd. Thank void. Losing his memory was one thing, but losing Xisuma permanently? It would be unbearable. 

 

“Those were what I was most worried about, and now I’m going through the server logs to see any world glitches from the area the lab was set up in on the day of the incident, but it's difficult to sort through coords and read back on every single world log, so it might take some time.”

 

“Thank you Doc.” Cub stated, and Joe raised his hand. 

 

“Yes Joe?”

 

“If anyone else knows how to read logs, or Doc is willing to give a mini lesson to a few hermits who don’t, I can give access to more hermits to help him out.”

 

Etho raised his hand. “I’m out of practice, but with a quick rundown of the stuff that's changed or updated, I can help.”

 

“That’d be helpful.” Doc said. 

 

Grian flapped his wings and also flicked his hand to the sky. He didn’t wait for Cub to call on him, but no one else was talking. “I can help after I talk to Jim and Joel and Lizzie. The life series taught me the basics.”

 

“Thank you both.” Doc looked at both of them, giving them a tired looking smile. As calm and composed as he seemed, it was clear he was losing some sleep over this. 

 

Actually, scanning over the crowd, it was clear to Joe that a good number of hermits had lost sleep recently. Eye bags or that sort of tired buzzing energy that makes people jittery was obvious if someone knew what to look for, and Joe, being close friends with the often overworked admin of this server, did. Even Bdubs looked kinda drowsy. This was a problem.

 

“Pearl,” Cub started. “I think you were reading the most promising book yesterday? Did you find anything?”

 

“Yes and no.” Pearl sighed. “It said that potions and soups being combined had only been shallowly researched, and proved to be chaotic and unpredictable, so they gave up a lot of potential experiments. One thing that stuck out though was the possibility of reverse mixtures.”

 

Everyone paid attention to every word, but Pearl only looked disappointed about it. 

 

“It said that in one case, they made a super slow mixture, more powerful than either a potion or a soup, and a super speed potion canceled it out when they drank that after. It was the only example they had. Any relations to other potions having reverse versions of them was purely theoretical.”

 

“Do we know what was in the potion-soup thing that Xisuma drank?” Gem piped up. “Maybe we could reason through the opposites of those ingredients, and then make some sort of antidote?”

 

“It’d take a lot of trial and error.” Impulse siad. “And therefore, a lot of risk…”

 

“What was in what Xisuma drank?” Pearl asked, looking at Cub. 

 

“I’m-...” Cub paused. “I’m not sure.”

 

Scar and Grian looked at each other, and Cub looked at Stress, who shook her head with a frown. 

 

“A weakness potion was in it.” Scar said. “It was supposed to be slowness, but I made a weakness potion to put to the side, and he mixed the wrong gray potion with his soup. I don’t know what soup it was.”

 

“It was written down!” Grian realized. “We were all writing down stuff in our notebooks as we went- I think we left them all in the lab.”

 

“We can find them later today then.” Gem said. “We’ll make some potential cures, and find a way to test them before Xisuma tries any. We’ll be very clear about everything we do.”

 

“That's a good plan.” Cub said. “So we have server logs covered, and potential homemade cures. Anything else we know?”

 

Grian raised his hand again. “Lizzie knows some stuff on memory loss from the Empires servers, so I’m calling her, but she isn’t free until tomorrow.”

 

“Good.” Cub nodded. “Anyone else we can call?”

 

“I think Cleo’s calling Scott.” Pearl said, repeating herself from earlier. “Or I am if she’s calling someone else. I’ll text or call her about that later.”

 

Cub hummed affirmatively, and another hermit raised their hand. 

 

“I know some other people who might know stuff.” Bdubs mentioned. “Outdated mindcrack guys, but they’re sometimes smart.”

 

“Might know something.” Etho agreed, giving a halfheart smile to Bdubs under his mask. “Few brain cells floating around that crowd.”

 

“Yeah, only a few.” Bdubs huffed a chuckle. 

 

The hermits started to talk more in smaller groups, and Cub let the chaos develve. Talking about connections and friends on other servers wasn’t really something they had to do one at a time as a group, and it was probably more productive if everyone just made a list of people they could call and tried anything to find new information. Once the conversations settled down on their own, there was only one more solution he wanted to bring up. 

 

“You think Skizz could know something?” Impulse asked Tango closer to the corner near the dungeon entrance door. “He’s joining next season anyways.”

 

“You would know better than me.” Tango said, “But yeah let's call him.”

 

They both looked at Zed, who was moving towards them. “Wanna join for a ZITS call? See if Skizz has some weird helpful connection?”

 

“Yeah that sounds nice.” Zed smiled. “He’ll at least have some advice for emotional- everything.” 

 

“Skizz is pretty good at that stuff huh.” Impulse said. 

 

“I kinda wonder if he can help Exy.” Zed mentioned. “I told them about everything after Cub texted the chat and…..”

 

“Yeah. It must be extra rough for them.” Tango sympathized. Ex wasn’t on the best terms with everyone in hermitcraft, but some could still understand that this was extra hard for the only known family member of Xisuma. 

 

“How did they take it?” Impulse asked Zed. 

 

“Weirdly okay i think?” Zed said, sounding confused in his voice. “I mean I told them last night, and the conversation was really short, and-”

 

“HEY!” One of the hermits from the middle of the room yelled, looking towards the entrance of the dungeon. Zed couldn’t tell who yelled, but as the crowd started forming in the middle, it didn’t really matter. He saw the cause of the commotion, a shadowed figure walking toward them all. There were very few people it could be, and Cleo and Xisuma would have probably arrived together if it was either of them. 

 

“Speak of the devil.” xB, who was close to the small group before, muttered. 

 

“In this case, the literal devil.” False sighed, resting her hand on her sheathed sword. It was no real threat, but the message was there. Zed purposely looked away from it.

 

“Were they invited?” Beef asked quietly, scratching the back of his neck. “Kinda late to the party.”

 

“No.” False answered bluntly. 

 

“Well….” Zed looked away with a guilty expression. 

 

“Zed c'mon. You gotta tell the group first.” Hypno said, looking at Zed and then back at Ex. “Like it's fine, just warn us.”

 

“I’m glad I still make you all scared .” Ex said, and Hynpo rolled his eyes. They had been close enough to hear Hypno’s remark. 

 

“Exy, what have we talked about?” Zed lightly scolded, and a few hermits snickered at it. 

 

“We talked about not calling me that in public.” Ex sneered. “And I'm not here to start a fight. Probably.”

 

Ex stared at the group that was all now staring at them. “I’m here to ask what the fuck you did to my brother.” 

 

“We didn’t do anything.” False sneered back. Her grip tightened, and Ex flicked their gaze to her sword. 

 

“Ex I told you-” Zed tried before being interrupted. 

 

“Yeah?” Ex glared at False, before sweeping their gaze across all of the hermits. “And that's why he didn’t recognize me, huh?” 

 

“Wait, you saw Xisuma?” Cub asked. “How did you know-”

 

“He’s my brother. Of course I know where he is.” Ex scoffed. Their glare flicked to Cub, and Cub only titled his head up. It felt like a stand-off between all of the hermits and Ex, and Ex was not about to back down. 

 

Mumbo blurted the words before he could think better. “Where is he?”

 

Ex gave Mumbo a weird look, dropping their glare as they looked confused. “Your shopping district, why?”

 

A few hermits winced or glanced away, and Ex quickly realized something.

 

“Oh, were you trying to keep that a secret ? Cats outta the bag now. Can’t believe you even lie to your own.” They paused, and then looked back at the hermits. “Oh wait, yes I can. It's not much of a stretch actually. Lying to me, lying to my brother, lying to half the people here.”

 

“Guys-” Stress said to the crowd that started to murmur. Mumbo was trying to be invisible, feeling guilty for bringing it up. “Please don’t all rush over there and overwhelm him.” She begged.

 

“Void, you're treating him like a child.” Ex frowned. “I trust you, Stress, so you probably know what you’re doing, but jeez could you all treat him like a person for once? First you overwork him as an admin, and then baby him. Make up your minds’.” 

 

“We aren’t treating him like a baby.” Doc said. “We’re treating him like a person with amnesia. Which he is.”

 

“Uh huh.” Ex said sarcastically. “Well I didn't come here to argue with a bunch of losers for my whole afternoon, so let's keep this short.”

 

“Then why did you come here?” Hypno asked. Ex scowled like he interrupted them right before thy were about to continue. “You clearly already knew about Xisuma.”

 

“ I came here to make sure you weren’t all purposely keeping him like this before I went on a wild goose chase for a cure. And because Zed said I should come.”

 

A look or two was thrown Zed’s way again, and he shrunk on himself. He didn’t regret inviting Ex, but he wished he got to speak with them before the meeting so their entrance wasn’t so abrupt. But that was just part of the package that came with Ex. showing up where and whenever they liked. 

 

“Why would we do this on purpose?” Pearl asked Ex, distraught.

 

“I don’t know! I only trust two and a half of you and I’m not fucking off to the Nether unless I’m sure you’re all telling the truth that this was an accident! That you give a shit about Xisuma and you’re trying to help him after whatever-the-fuck you did to him.” Ex seethed. 

 

“I wish we had a solution Ex.” Stress looked at him in the eyes, and his glare faltered. “We’re coming up with as many ideas as we can, and this meeting is to organize everyone so we’re efficient. I hope you can believe that, and we appreciate you looking too.”

 

Ex looked away. With Stress’s words and soft voice, they seemed to lose the spark of anger fueling their arguments. “Yeah well he’s my derp of a brother. Course I would.”

 

She smiled at him when he glanced back, and he looked away again. 

 

“The Nether you said?” Wels stood up straighter. “I’ll go with you.” He offered.

 

“You? Fuck no.” Ex declined the offer rudely. “I’m taking your cooler brother. He knows the nether better and I can tolerate his existence for more than a few minutes. Don’t try to follow us.”

 

“Sheesh, a simple ‘no’ would work just fine.” Wels muttered, crossing his arms. “Don’t gotta be a jerk about it.”

 

“That actually brings me to my last topic smoothly.” Cub said, brushing over Wels’ statement. “I was going to propose that some of us go to the End and the Nether to look for more books or potential cures. If Ex wants to have the Nether to themself, we can just organize ourselves to go to the End.”

 

“I’ll go to the End.” Wels said, raising a hand. Ex rolled their eyes. 

 

“Me too.” False added next. 

 

“Beats reading.” Hypno chimed in.

 

“We should explore the Stronghold too.” xB said. They have a library in there that might have some weird and helpful stuff.”

 

“I don’t want to explore the library, but I’ll join you in the End.” Jevin offered. “I don’t want to ruin any books if I get stressed.” He lifted up his hand, showing how the slime melted a bit to emphasize how that could ruin any old or fragile books down there. Normally his slime could be trusted around books or things that were sensitive to water, but when he got stressed, it was harder to control the shape of his body, and if he got really stressed (or really relaxed) his slime could involuntarily stick to things or just melt away until he was a puddle. Melted slime and ancient books didn’t mix well. 

 

Hermits started to think of plans, and talk about preparation and how long it would take to get supplies and food for the various trips. Ex stared at the group as the attention was taken off them, and fiddled with their gloves while they thought something over. The end group had branched off a bit into the main dungeon room, since they had more preparations to discuss. Ex, who hadn’t moved much during the conversation, clenched their teeth, and walked over. 

 

They waited until the attention was on them, and tried to ignore how most of the stares weren’t friendly. With a deep breath in, they steeled their gaze, and spoke clearly.

 

“Take Xisuma.” 

 

It felt like the whole group blinked at them in confusion. 

 

“What?” Wels asked. 

 

“Take Xisuma to the End.” Ex repeated, trying to keep the confidence in their tone. “Take him with you.”

 

There were clearly a lot of questions running through their minds collectively, but before they could verbalize them, Ex started to explain themself. 

 

“The End- it's where we’re from .” Ex started. “I don’t like it much, but fuck- I dunno- maybe it jogs his memory or something.”

 

“We’ve tried to ‘jog his memory’ a few times already.” Tango mentioned. “He didn’t recognize chorus fruit.”

 

“Yeah well maybe breathing through something other than a helmet or a single fake end-air chunk will knock something better than some mediocre purple fruit.” Ex argued, shooting Tango a glare. “The nether is too dangerous for someone who hugs a stranger with ‘evil’ in their name. I don’t want him to hug a piglin brute because it looked at him too long before swinging its axe.”

 

“The End is much safer than the Nether…” Hypno considered. “With the dragon gone and all.” 

 

“Why should we take him at all? Jevin asked. “We have plenty more babysitters staying in the Overworld that can watch him for a day if Cleo’s busy.”

 

“Because if he’s gonna have amnesia, you all should treat him like a normal person and let him learn about the world. It’s his real home.” Ex breathed, and steeled their expression again. “Take him to the End or I'll do it myself.”

 

It was like a standoff. Wels and Ex stared at each other, frozen still. Neither trusted each other, but in a twisted sense, they both deeply cared about Xisuma, and they both knew the other cared more than they openly showed. In another world, they could’ve been friends. Pride, honor, loyalty, trust issues; They had so much in common. 

 

“We’ll take him.” Wels said, squinting. He refused to be the first to look away. Ex seemed to have the same thought.

 

“Glad that's settled!” Zed jumped in, interrupting their silence purposely. Both Wels and Ex were forced to look away from each other, and now not looking back at the other was the silent competition. 

 

They both loved Xisuma, they both hated each other. The feelings were mutual. 

 

“Exy since you’re going to the nether, I’d like to request some things. Ingredients and the likes.” Zed said, pulling Ex’s arm from the group. It was a good way to ease the tension in the room, and let things move forwards on their own. A few groups were already starting to finish their plans and conversations, wrapping up final details before they grouped back up at the back of the dungeon. No one was sure if there was more to discuss, but it was only polite to wait until the official end of the meeting to leave unless of an emergency. 

 

“The Soup Group is working on reverse potion-soup mixtures for Xisuma to try, and while they're doing that, I'm going to try wacky potions myself.” Zed explained when they got to a farther area. “If they need help I'll join them, but it might be a while before they get to more complicated combinations. If my potions aren’t anything special, then I’d like to have some normal ones ready to help them faster.”

 

Ex had no idea who the “Soup Group” was, and didn't really feel like asking. Zed wasn’t done talking anyhow.

 

“But I’m out of some ingredients, and I'd like extra stock on others. Since you’ll already be out there….” Zed trailed off, looking up to Ex with a pleading expression. 

 

“Just give me a list.” Ex sighed.

 

“Always so straight forward.” Zed smiled. “Thanks Exy. Just get to me when you can, and please do keep safe. And take care of yourself.”

 

“I can handle the Nether.”

 

“I know you can.” Zed looked down. Ex figured he wasn’t talking about the nether. “We’re doing everything we can. It's gonna be okay.”

 

Ex realized what he was implying, and his throat felt a little tighter. 

 

“You don’t-” Ex’s breath picked up. “You don’t know that….. He didn’t- He didn’t recognize me Zed .”

 

Zed looked up at them, and then grabbed their gloved hand, squeezing it lightly. 

 

“Before or after your Nether trip, come to my place okay?” Zed asked. “Please.”

 

Ex sighed, trying to calm down. They couldn’t meet Zed’s eyes, but Zed felt the brief squeeze back before Ex dropped his hand and pulled it away. 

 

“Ok Worm Man.”

 

---

 

Ex left soon after that, and tensions were-

 

Well it was hard to describe. 

 

Most hermits were nervous, anxious about their situation, and worried about Xisuma. All of them were worried, actually. The group had finally recombined, and it was clear the unsettled energy was there. 

 

Some of them were hopeful. With straightford tasks all laid out, things seemed… manageable. They had goals. They had ways to achieve those goals. Whether they would work or not was a concern for later.  

 

Zed wished Ex would stay until the end, just in case more important information was revealed. 

 

Wels seemed to visibly relax when they left the room. 

 

False let go of the hilt of her sword when their silhouette disappeared in the foggy gray clouds that sometimes surrounded the dungeon. 

 

Mumbo looked nervous, flicking his gaze between certain hermits and the floor repetitively, like he wanted to ask something but couldn’t even word it in his head. 

 

Tensions were confusing.

 

“Thank you all for coming to this meeting.” Cub said. “I gotta say, this is the best turnout we’ve had in a while.” He barely chuckled with his own joke, but it got a few other solemn giggles from the crowd too. 

 

“If anyone has anything else to add, speak now.” Cub said, scanning the crowd for raised hands or hermits about to talk. No one said anything, so he just nodded. “Then that ends this meeting. We all have our tasks, and hopefully one of them works before we have to think of more potential solutions. Group chats will be made soon for each project, and while everyone will be added to all of them, please only use them if you have questions or information to add so they don’t get overcrowded. Hermitcraft meeting adjourned.”

They planned to ask Xisuma about the End dimension trip tomorrow, while they were preparing for their adventure. It was his choice to go or not, and Wels hoped that if he said no to them, he would also say no to Ex if they brought it up. 

 

“I’ll meet you in the morning, yeah?” False looked at Wels, expecting an answer. It snapped him out of it. 

 

“Yeah, sounds good.” He said when he processed the words. He looked around him, and looked confused. “Where’s Jevin and Hypno?...And xB?”

 

“They both already left.” False said slowly, squinting at him. “And xB is with Joe so he can borrow a book bag. I don’t think he wants to go to the End. We’re looking in the library first.”

 

“Okay.” Wels said. 

 

“Hey wanna-” False cleared her throat, lowering her voice a bit. Wels looked at her. “Wanna get some fresh air real quick?”

 

“What for?” Wels asked genuinely. 

 

“Just follow me.” False said, tapping his shower twice and stepping around him towards the entrance of the dungeon. 

 

The air was fresher outside, and while a few hermits were taking off to the skies, most others that stayed were still inside, talking with others. False led him to the side, where they couldn’t see anyone else, and cleared her throat. 

 

“So uh- how are you doing?”

 

“I’m fine.” Wels said. “Why?”

 

“You seemed a little spaced out in there.” False glanced at him, he looked away. “And you look like you were gonna tear Ex’s head off that whole time.”

 

“Yeah well we don’t get along.” Wels huffed. 

 

“Hey, I'm not a fan of them either.” False said. “But I don’t think Xisuma’s gonna take it well if we kill his brother, amnesia or not.”

 

“I won’t kill them.” Wels said. “Unless they lay a void-damned finger on X-”

 

“Ex won’t hurt Xisuma.” False said. “Can’t say that about all of the hermits, but Xisuma is safe from their… Evil-ness.”

 

Wels sighed. “I know.”

 

False let the silence sit, hoping it would get Wels to just spit out what he was thinking. It worked much faster than she anticipated. 

 

He looked over the horizon, firmly avoiding eye contact. “It's just…. all so-” He shook his hands around. “It's so confusing, and awful, and…”

 

“I can’t even believe it.” False agreed solemnly. 

 

“We’re gonna see Xisuma the day after tomorrow.” Wels mumbled. 

 

“He’s not gonna recognize us.” False voiced both of their worries out loud. It felt so heavy just to say it. 

 

“That's so… that's so weird, right?”

 

“It's terrifying .” False whispered. “Its-…. I hate it.”

 

“Me too.” 

 

They stood in silence, just listening to the whistle in the wind. No other hermit had left for a while, so there were probably important conversations inside from those who stayed. Neither had it in them to go back inside and listen. 

 

“Wanna… I dunno.. Hug about it?” False asked awkwardly, breaking the silence. “I dunno man; This isn’t really my specialty.”

 

“Uhhhh I guess?” Wels answered, just as awkwardly. “That's what we’re supposed to do right? That's what everyone else is doing.”

 

False opened her arms, and Wels opened his, and they hugged. Wels’ armor was clanky, and without trying to, he felt stiff and too tall. False, while still being taller than people like Bdubs or Stress, was by far not the tallest hermit, and with one arm wrapped around Wels shoulder, she felt like she had to balance her weight on her toes. They tried to shift around to make it work, before just holding still for a few seconds when it clearly wasn’t working. 

 

It was the most awkward thing ever. 

 

“Yeah nope.” False said, pulling away.

 

“Mm mm.” Wels hummed disapprovingly. “We tried.”

 

“How does Ren do it?” False asked out loud. “He hugs like- everyone all the time and they always feel more- normal- with him??”

 

“I swear I've hugged a person before.” Wels said. “How can I do it so- wrong??”

 

“Stress hugs me all the time! It doesn’t feel… like that.”

 

“We’re bad at this.” Wels concluded, chuckling.

 

“The worst.” False agreed with a laugh. 

 

They stood in silence for a while, looking at the rolling clouds in the distance together. Another hermit flew out of the mouth of the dungeon, but didn’t notice the pair standing on the side. 

 

They just stood in shared quiet grief, both unable to explain or process their emotions as well as they wanted to. It was true, it was real, their dear friend Xisuma had forgotten his entire life, and them with it. And no one had a solid cure. Had a real goal to work towards. Exploration and research was the best they could do, and there was no guarantee either of those would have a cure. This could very well be permanent. That was hard to think about.

 

“Wanna do it again?” Wels looked at False. 

 

She nodded. 

 

And it was a little more comfortable because she put her arms lower than Wels this time, and he was more careful to avoid his armor hitting her too fast, but it was still very awkward and clankey and not very comfortable to do for long. 

 

It was perfect. 

---

 

Cleo sat in her castle, watching Xisuma and Mumbo from a distance from an obscure window. She said she’d give them some privacy, but she couldn’t help but worry still that Xisuma might fall off the floating island or some other disaster would happen if she looked away for too long. Besides, she couldn't hear their conversation from this distance, and she was texting Pearl about the meeting she missed while only sorta keeping an eye on the two outside, so they had mostly-privacy. 

 

PearlescentMoon: So are you gonna call Scott or should I? I’m doing some potion-soup stuff with impulse and gem tomorrow but i’ll have free time at some point if you’re busy

 

ZombieCleo: my schedule is free, i can call him

 

PearlescentMoon: Thanks. and tell him i say hi

 

ZombieCleo: will do

 

PearlescentMoon: Wanna hear about the rest of the meeting?

PearlescentMoon: Ex showed up. 

 

Cleo hummed to herself while she typed, glancing out the window again. Mumbo doing that thing where he both folded in on himself, and moved his hands in every direction to explain something. He was rambling. It was probably needed. 

 

ZombieCleo: yeah tell me the important stuff

ZombieCleo: or the interesting stuff 

 

In all honesty, Cleo had a hunch that Evil Xisuma was going to show up to the meeting at some point. She had seen them flying over the shopping district, and then saw them leave much later than a quick fly by or reroute would need. They didn’t really use the shopping district for shopping, so it was obvious they had visited Xisuma for a while during then. Cleo considered it a good thing. Xisuma needed to meet his family, including the family that didn’t always bode well with the rest of hermits, and as long as no one died, it could be assumed the visit was good. 

 

Mumbo confirmed her theories of Ex visiting when he texted her, begging to see Xisuma even though he wasn’t really supposed to. He had to have gotten that information from someone. 

 

Cleo didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

PearlescentMoon: Well I found stuff about “reverse” soup-potions in my book, so me, impulse, and gem are going to play around with that idea tomorrow. We found the Amnesia potion recipe today when the meeting ended, so we’re making a mixture as opposite of that as we can. 

 

ZombieCleo: how are you deciding whats opposite?

 

PearlescentMoon: vibes mostly

PearlescentMoon: and trial and error. If this is what works, it might take a while to get there

 

ZombieCleo: didn’t know what i expected. 

ZombieCleo: and we got all the time in the world if we need it.

 

PearlescentMoon: Also a lot of hermist are calling friends, and etho and grian are gonna help doc with code stuff. Doc said a lot of stuff, but basically Xisuma can safety die we’re pretty sure. It wont bring back his memory, but it wont be a permadeath either. 

 

ZombieCleo: thank void

 

PearlescentMoon: yeah. Everyone relaxed a lot after that.

PearlescentMoon: Wels, False and some others are going to the end. 

 

Cleo looked out of the window, where Mumbo and Xisuma were hugging now. That was healthy. It seemed so, so needed for both of them. 

 

PearlescentMoon: they want to take X with them. 

 

Cleo read it twice. And then three times. 

 

They wanted to take Xisuma to the end dimension. She couldn’t begin to guess whose idea that was, but she knew there was something to it. Some hope in getting his memory back naturally, she guessed. 

But….was Xisuma ready for a new dimension already? It had only been a few days since the incident, and when players rushed to a new world, they at least usually knew what to expect and what to be aware of. Xisuma hadn’t even known there were other dimensions. Was this… safe?

 

Xisuma might have had the muscle memory for picking up flying techniques quickly, but it wasn’t nearly enough skill to fly in the end, where up and down looked identical and being able to control your breath while flying for a long time was essential. 

 

But they had blocks to bridge with, and they had all the best gear already, and maybe if a solution was going to be natural, it was also time sensitive. 

 

That was a terrifying thought.

 

Cleo breathed out slowly. It would be dangerous, but it could be worth it. For Xisuma to see where he was from. Maybe- maybe if they didn’t find a cure in the flying cities of the end, maybe of the books all drew blanks, and the potions and experiments couldn’t help him-

 

Maybe breathing the air he was supposed to, maybe seeing the inky void of the infinite sky, maybe meeting an enderman and understanding the language behind their eyes….

 

Maybe it could all jog his memory on its own. 

 

ZombieCleo: i think thats a good idea

 

Cleo looked at where Mumbo and Xisuma had finally pulled away from the hug and she figured that was her cue to meet up with them again. Mumbo started looking around, probably to find where he could walk into the castle to call her back, and she pulled out her communicator to save him the effort. 

 

ZombieCleo: text me when you’re done. Its getting a little late

MumboJumbo: perfect timing actually, we  just finished talking. 

 

Cleo chuckled, and decided to let Mumbo think the timing was a coincidence. She flew down back in front of them, and looked at mumbo. It was obvious he had been crying a lot, with red eyes and a messy mustache, and she gave him a sympathetic smile. 

 

“Ready to go back, X?” She asked. The wind blew past them, and Xisuma was unmoving. 

 

“Yeah. I think so.” He said after a beat too long.

 

Mumbo took a second to get the hint that he had to leave when Cleo was staring at him. 

 

“Oh- right-” Mumbo took a deep breath. “Bye Cleo, bye Xisuma. See you both later.” He meekly waved, and then he was jumping in the air and taking off. Xisuma stared at him distantly while he flew off and his silhouette got smaller and smaller.

 

“Something on your mind, X?” Cleo asked carefully when she noticed he hadn’t moved at all. 

 

“Do I have any other family I'm forgetting?” He asked quietly. Through his visor, she could see a broken expression on his face. “I met my brother, and someone who thinks of me as their father-”

 

Oh. So that was what Mumbo had to talk about. Cleo noticed that Xisuma was breathing a little heavier now, and his posture was painfully stiff. 

 

“-And do I have any other family? A sister? a mother? Other ‘adopted’ children or pets or-”

 

“No.” Cleo spoke, interrupting him. 

 

He looked at her, waiting for her to continue like he was desperate for information. No matter how much she told him, it would never be enough. He was searching to understand a life he couldn’t remember living. 

 

“The only relative we know of is Evil Xisuma. And Mumbo being your son was always a joke thrown around since you took care of him like one, but you’ve never officially adopted any children.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“But,” She inhaled. “All of Hermitcraft is your family Xisuma. We’re your found family, and you, ours . And you haven’t re-met all of us, because there’s a lot of us and we don’t want to overwhelm you more than you already are. This is a new world you’re getting used to, and I know that's so much stress on you. But we’re trying not to leave you in the dark alone either. It's sometimes hard to balance.”

 

“Scar said the same thing.” Xisuma chuckled weakly. “About the overwhelming stress stuff. Like son, like mother.”

 

“Oh you heard that joke huh.” She laughed too, smiling something sad. “That's not biological either, if you haven’t heard yet. Not many blood relatives here on the server, but we joke about titles and family relationships a lot. None of them make any sense, but that's half of the fun.”

 

“It sounds fun.”

They had a million more things to talk about, million more things to explain, and a million more things to work through together. It was a process to learn and grieve for all of them, and it felt like they just never had enough each time to say everything that needed to be said. To clear the water of truth in such a crystalline way. The pond of his memories for Xisuma was foggy enough to also not understand the things they were doing day to day. 

 

But it was getting darker by the minute, and Cleo knew they didn’t have time to go through everything on either of their minds. It would have to wait for another day.

 

Cleo looked at him and smiled. “It's getting dark, let's head home before we have to deal with any pesky phantoms.” Cleo wasn’t sure if he knew what those were, but he didn’t ask when he nodded, so she left the conversation there. 

 

“Do you think you can fly home?” Cleo asked. “Get some last minute practice in?”

 

“I think I could try.” Xisuma said, and it sounded like he was smiling at least a little now. 

 

“Just follow me, and we’ll see if you still have your stamina.” Cleo said. “If you need a break, just shout at me and land on the nearest safe spot and I'll find you.”

 

He nodded firmly, and then looked over the edge of the castle. 

 

“Ready to head home?” She asked, readying her elytra in her hands and getting rockets out for the both of them. She placed more than plenty in Xisuma’s hand, and he looked at her for a moment longer as he held them. 

 

“I already am.”

Notes:

i've read every single comment like 10 times over they make me so incredibly happy. thank you guys so much of the support on this silly little book. it was supposed to be maybe 10k, 20k at most when i started, and now the google doc i'm writing on just hit 44k and like- wow. i did not mean to take this story so far.

but i'm really enjoying writing it, so thank you for making enjoyable to post too. i love every comment even if i sometimes forget to respond to them right away <3

(the chapter number is also just a guess too. i've already upped it from 11 to 12 and it could very easily go up again heh)

Chapter 9: Silly soups surely should solve this!

Summary:

the soup group made some mixtures of soups and potions, and now comes the time to test them! sure, the first time Xisuma drank unknown potions, he ended up 2 feet from a ravager in the sky and added a new fear to his inventory, but its not like unknown effects from undocumented mixtures could be any worse,... right?

Notes:

haha whoops this was not meant to be over 10k words!

anyways! warning for panic attacks because even if i don't write them the most realistically, i don't want to accidentally trigger someone if i put no warning down!

Xisuma, once again, woke up with a splitting headache and a very shaky grasp on reality. 

 

“Who- what- where-” His mind raced as he jolted awake and his body stiffened. He saw his ceiling, and blinked slowly as he tried to calm down quickly. His heart should not be beating this fast so early in the morning, and the slight movement only made his head pang in pain. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes again. “My name is Xisuma, and I’m at Scarland. Everything is fine, and I am safe.”

 

It was becoming a routine at this point, to wake up, unaware of his surroundings or sense of self, before reciting what he knew to himself to calm down. The headaches always dissipated quickly, and were manageable as long as he stayed as still as he could until they were gone. 

 

Once, he thought about telling someone about the headaches. To ask for some sort of painkiller or strategy to reduce the flaring pain he felt at every twitch of his muscles during these moments. Maybe it was something he would need to do the night before, like a hot or cold pad, or just adjusting his pillow could help somehow. Maybe it was a common thing among players he had yet to learn about, and there was some simple medication to fix or reduce it. Maybe it was just something he’d have to deal with, but he’d also understand what it was or why it happened. All he had to do was ask.  

 

But then he considered the burden it could be to his family. They were all already working tirelessly to find a cure, and putting such a selfish request on their plates wasn’t worth it to him. Plus, the headaches always went away quickly enough. If it was a problem in a week, he might mention it, but for now, he didn’t want to disturb anyone with his minor inconveniences. 

 

Xisuma got ready for the day, a routine he was getting familiar with, and walked into the living room where Scar was pouring boiling water into a cat themed cup. How Scar always woke up earlier than Xisuma was still a mystery, but as a familiar cat pawed at Scar's leg repeatedly until she got attention, there was a clue to solving that. 

 

“Ah up a little early huh?” Scar said with a cheery smile as he pulled away from Jellie. “I’ll pour your cup now too then.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Jellie, noticing Scar was ignoring her again, walked over to Xisuma, immediately demanding his attention now. He scratched between her ears, and she flipped her head in a way so he was scratching under her chin and on the side of her face instead. He smiled fondly. 

 

“By the way, Cleo told me you didn’t have your communicator, and I apologize for not noticing sooner!” Scar said. The tea was brewing now, and Scar clicked open a can, which had Jellie running towards him again. She jumped onto the counter, meowing impatiently while Scar dished out her food on another counter. 

 

“Oh it's really alright-” Xisuma started, standing back up. “I’m not even sure if I'd know how to use one so it’s fine.”

 

Scar smiled at him. “If you struggle with using it, I’d be happy to take some time to teach you the basics.” Scar moved over to another counter once Jellie was loudly munching on her wet cat food, and picked something up. He held it in front of Xisuma. “Impulse brought this over early this morning. You can meet him today if you’re up for it.”

 

Xisuma picked up the communicator from Scar slowly, and flipped it around in his hand. Stickers of animals were placed carefully, and none overlapped the other like each one was placed intentionally. They looked waterproof, but some still seemed more worn than others. A turtle looked especially old, with a faded shell and more scratches than many others. This communicator had been taken care of for a long time. 

 

“We’re meeting people?” Xisuma asked, continuing the conversation Scar had hinted at. 

 

“If you’re up for it.” Scar repeated himself, making the control of choice clear. He inhaled loud enough for Xisuma to realize he was about to say something, and Xisuma met his eyes. 

 

“We thought of some more potential solutions to try.” Scar breathed, trying to hold back much of a smile. “A lot, actually.”

 

Xisuma tried not to let himself get too hopeful, but a spark of motivation burned in his chest once again. Things weren’t hopeless, and Xisuma let himself take a small comfort in the fact that they were going to keep trying. They had solutions. They were not giving up without a fight. 

 

“Oh ok. Cool.” He said, incredibly eloquently. “Where do we begin?”

 

---

“So,” Scar hummed, setting down his tea. “We have to talk about some things before we start the day.” He looked at Xisuma and his eyes went wide. “No no it’s all good I promise!” Scar backtracked quickly.

 

Xisuma didn’t even realize he had looked worried until Scar had clarified, but he felt himself relax afterwards anyhow. 

 

“Doc told everyone that we know you are able to safely die and respawn now.” Scar said, smiling. “I know we said we have to treat it as a big deal if you die, and we will! But this is amazing news, because there's no worries about your condition becoming permanent if you die. It also means dying won’t fix this, but I'm glad we don’t have to choose to take that risk at all.”

 

“What would happen if I did die?” Xisuma asked curiously. 

 

“Well, you would respawn, as normal, in the bed you last slept in, which would be most likely here. It depends on how you die, but many respawns can leave huge scars.” Scar rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m walking evidence of that.”

 

“All of your scars…”

 

“The majority of them.” Scar shrugged. “Some are just because I lived, but didn’t take care of them correctly. I was a little bit stupid about that back in the day. Thought the scars made me look cool.”

 

“They kinda do.” Xisuma smilied. 

 

“Aw thank you.” Scar beamed. “I should’ve treated the injuries better though. I have plenty of scars to make up for the ones I could have avoided!” He laughed, shaking his fist lightly at the ceiling as if to scold his younger self.

 

Xisuma laughed with him, and listened to the rest of his warnings carefully. 

 

“Some injuries or deaths won’t leave scars, but they might leave you bedridden for a few days. Or being in a death loop can cause that too. I would know, of all people.”

 

“I’ll… keep that in mind.”

 

“So you can die, you can respawn, it won’t be the cure to your amnesia, but won’t make it more permanent either, and please try to avoid it.” Scar summed it up. Xisuma nodded. “Now that that's out of the way, here’s our plan for the day. If it sounds uncomfortable, just say so, and we’ll change plans.”

 

Xisuma nodded, but secretly decided he’d do nearly anything they asked of him. They were working so hard to help him. He needed to put in the same effort, even if things sounded a little scary. 

 

He steeled his initial anxiety, and listened to Scar intently. Scar made everything sound hopeful while he explained where they were going and how many people would be there, but even with his smile, the plan was a little bit on the scary side of experimental . It didn’t matter though. They were all doing this to help him , and Xisuma was going to make it as easy as he could for them by doing whatever they said. 

 

If he was once their leader, he needed to be brave. And if he ever wished to live up to the version of himself that everyone knew, then he was going to have to do scary things in new environments and not cry about it. He was Xisuma void, former admin of Hermitcraft. He could handle this. 

 

---

 

Standing in front of two massive statues of the same person, Xisuma felt the dread again. It was a weird thing to feel dread and awe at the same time, but his stomach pulled off a great feat, flipping in ways never seen before! It should go to the olympics. 

 

Had the mountains always been carved like that? Which hermit had spent the time to make such a thing twice? The artistry was clear in the manner of details in the area around him, and something told him the massive plants across the river were not naturally there. A hermit, or several maybe, had put so much soul into this world, and in a slightly too positive way to think about his amnesia, he was lucky enough to experience it all again. 

 

“We’re here!” Scar cheered. As he rolled up to the entrance of what looked like a cave inside. 

 

Xisuma tried to focus on the aesthetics of the entrance over the fear he felt on testing potions, which is what Scar had mentioned before, and tried to remember that they were going to make everything safe…..and hopefully they’d also make everything clear to him too. A passing thought told him the ceiling was higher here, and floating up high would be a lot more dangerous if he drank that same potion again, but he waved it off. His hermits were his family. His family wouldn’t scare him if they could help it. 

 

“Oh-” A strong statured man walked out of the cave, and almost seemed surprised to see them. He looked like the statues, and Xisuma assumed this was his base then. Whether he built it or it was made in his honor, he clearly owned the place. 

 

“I thought I told you to meet at….” The man’s voice trailed off as he held up a communicator, and he frowned. “Of course it didn’t send.” He mumbled. “Stupid thick walls I built.”

 

Scar tilted his head, silently asking what was wrong, and the man shook his head, looking at them both.

 

“Ok, sorry about that.” He said, sighing. “We’re gonna test the stuff we’ve made at Gem’s base instead of mine. So I texted you to meet there, but the text never sent and I didn't notice.”

 

“Oh.” Scar said. “Why Gem’s?”

 

“It's….. safer.” Impulse managed to explain. “Less lava.”

 

“Ah.” Scar clicked his tongue. “Well that just means we get to see more sights! And before we head over,-” Scar looked at Xisuma, who felt frozen in the sudden attention directed at him. “-Xisuma, this hermit is ImpulseSV. The one who found your communicator. He’s a member of the soup group and he helped with the potion-soups you’ll be trying today.”

 

“I dunno if I helped that much.” Impulse rubbed his neck. “I just brought over some spare ingredients I already had lying around.”

 

“I’m sure Gem and Pearl would both disagree.” Scar smiled. “So let's not waste your hard work and just stand around! Let's get to Gem’s base!”

 

“Uh- nice to meet you.” Xisuma slipped in timidly before they started to make plans to head over. 

 

Impulse smiled, something relaxed and confident, and held out a hand for Xisuma to shake. Xisuma hadn’t shaken many hands so far, but Impulse’s grip was firm and sturdy, and Xisuma tried to make himself calm down. Impulse was nice, Scar was enthusiastic, and nothing could go wrong! This was going to be fine, nerves be damned!

 

“Gem’s base is just over there.” Impulse said, pointing in the distance. “Not the worst walk, but there are a lot of hills…” He trailed off, glancing at Scar’s wheelchair to make his point.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think I can wheel over there, but I can fly and sit on a bench and wait for you both if that's ok?” Scar said. “Does Gem have any seating around there?”

 

“Yeah, yeah of course you can fly. And yeah, Gem has plenty of seating everywhere. I told her we were coming over, so she can find you and show you where a bench is if you don’t see one.” Impulse said. “Do you want me to carry your chair for you or are you going to fly with it?”

 

“If you could carry it that’d be great.” Scar chuckled. “This ones a little heavier than my usual. Better for terrain, but I still can't get it over the steep parts between your bases.”

 

“I can try to fly if that helps us get there?” Xisuma said quietly. “If you show me where it is?”

 

Scar looked at him, visibly surprised. “You can still fly?”

 

Impulse was staring at him too now, and Xisuma sorta wanted to shrink on himself a little. 

 

“Yeah uh- Cleo showed me how. I’m not very good yet.”

 

“It's a short distance if you want to try?” Impulse offered lightly. “But I don't mind walking too if it's too hard.”

 

“I’d like to try.” Xisuma said, glancing away nervously. 

 

Impulse smiled at him, and Xisuma felt a small sense of pride at that. 

 

“I’ll still carry your chair.” Impulse told Scar. “You go ahead and I'll show Xisuma the way.”

 

Scar nodded, standing up from his wheelchair briefly so he could jump up and fly towards wherever Gem’s base was. Xisuma wasn’t sure how Scar was able to jump and fly when he was already having a bad pain day, but he tried to shake off that thought. Scar knew his own limits and didn’t need Xisuma excessively worrying over him like a child. It was unlikely he’d push himself so far he’d have it much worse later, and Xisuma just had to trust that Scar could handle himself unless informed otherwise. 

 

Impulse looked at Xisuma, silently asking if he was ready. Xisuma nodded, but then hesitated. 

 

“Is it alright if I place blocks here?”

 

“Uhhh sure? Why?”

 

“It's a little easier to y’know, fly… if I jump from higher up.”

 

“Ah yeah,” Impulse chuckled. “I remember doing that.”

 

“You had to start this way too?” Xisuma asked, eyes wide. 

 

“Most players do.” Impulse explained. “Other than the few who are kinda like- perfect at it first try y’know? Even people with natural wings start flying by jumping off things, usually.”

 

Xisuma placed a block under his feet. “I can’t tell if that makes me feel more or less childish about it.” He chuckled. 

 

“Oh-” Impulse started quickly. “Well even between seasons, some hermits have to place a block or two to get used to it again! If that makes you feel any better.”

 

“Really?” Xisuma asked, intrigued. “Why?”

 

“Well at the start of a season, it takes a while to get elytras again, and when you’re out of practice a little more time in the air to get going can help a lot.” Impulse explained. Xisuma smiled a little, feeling a little better about his lack of skills as compared to others. 

 

“What's a season?” Xisuma innocently asked. 

 

The hitch in Impulse's breath was all too noticeable in the quiet morning air, and Xisuma had an immediate feeling that he had said something wrong. The feeling almost suffocated him, but after a second too long of silence, Impulse was quick to realize the gap in conversation and stutter an answer. 

 

“Oh uhm- uh. Well- w-well ya see.” Impulse took a deep breath, and when Xisuma looked at him, he saw Impulse avoiding eye contact like it was the plague. Like he was a plague. 

 

“A season is when- well, see these structures? Like uh-...” Impulse swallowed. “How do I explain..” He mumbled so quietly Xisuma almost missed it. Impulse completely stopped for a moment to compose himself, and then seemingly found his words as he was able to explain more clearly. “Every once in a while, the server gets crowded. A lot of buildings and farms and it just gets messy- I guess. So we all decide to start it all over again on a new server, and we call that a season.”

 

“You get rid of it all?” Xisuma breathed. He looked at the horizon, where incredible feats of building skills crowded every corner of his vision. Massive structures, intricate details, beautiful colors- it was clear that so much time and creativity and love was put into these landscapes. Xisuma couldn’t imagine throwing something so beautiful away. 

 

“No no no!” Impulse raised his hands in front of him. “We don’t get rid of it- we can always return to visit it- uh- we just… move on. To a new world, a new server. To the next blank canvas that awaits us.” 

 

“And that's not scary?”

 

“It's a lot easier with your entire family making the jump with you.” 

 

Xisuma didn’t have much to add, so he just nodded, slightly unsurely, and finished his four block tower, getting his rockets ready in his hands. He waited for Impulse to take off and lead the way, and tried not to worry about how Impulse would carry Scar’s chair midair. 

 

Before Impulse got ready to fly, he looked back up at Xisuma. 

 

“You visit- you used to visit the old seasons the most.” Impulse said, almost like it was a secret. “You never really said why, but with or without another hermit, you go back to early seasons the most.”

 

Xisuma stood there with eyes wide, and scrambled to hold onto the information about his past like it was sand slipping between his fingers. He tried to repeat what he learned about seasons, servers, visiting old servers, family- all of it , in his head so he could be sure he remembered it, and maybe ask more questions later if he got a chance to. 

 

Impulse didn’t do more than nod before setting Scar’s chair in front of him, taking off, and swooping back around to grab the chair by a handle positioned on the back of it and fly with it easily. He made it all look so effortless. 

 

Xisuma took the jump from his vantage point, firing rockets as quickly as he could before he could hit the ground. He could tell, especially compared to Impulse , that his form was sloppy at best, but he tried to shake off the feeling of things being wrong as he followed Impulse over the hills. He was the only wrong thing here.  

 

Balance seemed like the most important thing in flying so far. Sure it probably took a lot of muscle too, but the amnesia clearly hadn’t erased whatever muscle he already had from flying, so it didn’t feel like something he needed to regain control over. Other than his slightly shaky limbs, and the feeling that he had to stay focused to keep steady the entire time, everything felt mostly fine. It was incredibly impressive that impulse was not able to lift Scar’s chair, but fly with it in one hand, and the amount of strength and control of balance needed to keep flying steady as he was had to be thoroughly above average. 

 

Impulse landed on the hill a good time before Xisuma, but luckily Xisuma could still see where he needed to go as Impulse found Scar, and they both waved him over. 

 

Flying was fun. Falling was not. 

 

As much as Xisuma had been getting the hang of taking off and flying, he couldn’t say the same for his landing skills. Whether he was tripping over his own feet, crashing into water headfirst, or falling on his knees, he couldn’t seem to figure out how to shift his weight to his feet at the right moment to actually land properly and on his two feet each time he tried.

 

Maybe he should pay Cleo a visit and see if she had any more good tips for this thing, and if he was lucky again, he’d pick it up quickly again. Hopefully his old self was as good at landing as he apparently used to be at flying. 

 

That being said, visiting Cleo was a future thought, and in the moment, as he laid face down in the dirt on a hill, it was not the priority. 

 

“Oh my god Xisuma are you okay?” A feminine voice asked quickly, getting louder as they approached Xisuma’s limp body. 

 

Having no strength or motivation to actually get up yet, Xisuma just twisted his fist to a thumbs up to show he was alright. Nothing but his dignity was actually damaged. 

 

A woman with red hair and small antlers extended a hand to him when he finally found the will to get up, and he gratefully accepted it with a muttered “Thank you.”

 

“Hey Xisuma, ready to get started?” She asked brightly after he had dusted himself off. 

 

He looked at her, blinking a few times, before realizing he had to answer. “Uh- yes. Yes I'm ready.. Uh…”

 

She blinked too, and then rushed to offer her name. “Gem! My name’s Gem!”

 

“Nice to meet you, Gem.” He smiled. 

 

“Nice to meet you… too.” She said, trying to keep her voice excited and keep the awkwardness from getting too thick. 

 

“Welcome to my base!” Gem said, waving her hand around the area. When Xisuma looked around, he saw Scar and Impulse continuing to talk by the bench and Scar caught his eye and waved. Xisuma waved back. 

 

“Pearl will be meeting us in a few minutes, but she told us to get started if we were ready too before she got here. Are you ready?”

 

Xisuma clenched his fist, trying to hide his nerves. “Uh.. yeah. Yeah.”

 

“Alright. Just remember that if you're uncomfortable with anything, say so. We made a lot of mixtures- as we’re calling them -, but we don’t have to try them all at once or anything. We can take this slow.”

 

Xisuma didn’t have it in him to respond, and just curtly nodded, avoiding eye contact. 

 

They both walked over to Impulse and Scar, and by the time the group had made it into a wide room with a lower ceiling, another person had came bursting through the entrance. She had light brown hair, dyed blonde at the tips, and an embroidered jacket with constellations and space stuff down each of the sleeves. With a moon hair clip and pearlescent bracelets, on each arm, she looked like she could have fallen from the night sky itself. 

 

“I’m here, I'm here!... hoo that was a workout … You guys start yet?” She asked quickly, panting. She raked her hand through her bangs backwards, and made eye contact with Xisuma with a smile.

 

“Nope!” Impulse said. “Getting off to a slow start. You haven’t missed anything.”

 

“Phew!” She exclaimed. “Hiya Xisuma! My name’s Pearlescent Moon, but ya can call me Pearl!”

 

“Nice to meet you, Pearl.”

 

Pearl walked closer to Gem, and helped pull the mixtures out from the cupboard that Gem was already digging through. 

 

“Don’t let my entrance slow anything down.” She said, “Let's get this show on the road!”

 

---

Xisuma kinda wished Stress was here. 

 

Scar was lovely! Don’t get him wrong! But in the same way that Scar could sense when Xisuma woke up what he would like for breakfast, Stress had been incredible at understanding Xisuma’s emotions with a glance, and voicing his concerns to the crowd in a way that fixed the problem without drawing attention to him. And this entire plan raised many many concerns for Xisuma that he wished he had the words to articulate. 

 

“So you don’t know what these potions do..?” Xisuma squeaked, feeling a little bit pathetic about the way his voice betrayed him. A number of bottles had been laid on a table behind them all, each with different labels and colors. None of them actually had effects written down, only the ingredients they were made with. 

 

Gem inhaled. “Thats…. Correct…” She said, and Xisuma's shoulders dropped more, if that was possible. “But we’re using ingredients that are usually very safe in regular potions and regular soups, and so far the mixtures we know about have some sort of relation to what they do and the ingredients we use.”

 

Xisuma couldn’t bring himself to respond. That was barely anything to go off of, and he already took potions that he didn’t understand before he took them, and paid the price.

 

“We’ll tell you what's in each one.” Impulse quickly added. “And we don't have to try all of them. We made a whole list of every possible combination of mixtures with strength potions, since that's clearly the opposite of weakness, and we don’t even have them all made yet so we couldn’t try them all even if we wanted to.”

 

Xisuma hated the wording of that. It heavily implied that they wanted him to try at least one, and that he was going to have to stand up for himself to say he didn’t want to. And he wasn’t sure he could do that. 

 

Scar was looking at him, and Xisuma wasn’t the best at reading facial expressions, but it seemed both concerned and hopeful at the same time. The hermits had a plan. They had a well thought out plan that had a lot of potential solutions, and just because his first experience with potions wasn’t a positive one, it didn’t mean this one would be as bad too. 

 

He didn't have it in him to refuse. 

 

One moment they were standing there, and Xisuma was dreading everything, looking up at ceilings and around the walls for any potential danger he could be vulnerable to if a mixture made him float again or made him dizzy or unable to control his body in any way. If things went horribly wrong, he needed to know that his surroundings were safe.

 

And then the next moment, he was standing in front of Pearl, who held both a drink and a notepad to write down the effects of the mixtures. It was unlikely the first one he would drink would fix his memory, and so they wanted to learn as much as they could on patterns and aspects of the combined drinks so they could find a solution quicker. 

 

He took off his helmet, because sometime in the space between those moments, Impulse had told him he set the air to something breathable for him, and in the back of his mind he knew it was safe. Pearl handed him the mixture, which they had put back in a potion type bottle even though it was half-soup too, and everyone was staring at him. 

 

“Whenever you’re ready.” She said with a short nod. 

 

Xisuma swallowed well before he brought the bottle to his lips. 

 

“So? How do you feel?” Pearl asked, leaning closer to analyze him after the mixture had plenty of time to take full effect. “Any…. effects? Weirdness?”

 

“Well it didn’t taste that good.” Xisuma said, opening and closing his mouth a few times. “Bitter aftertaste.”

 

Pearl scribbled that down on her notepad before looking at him again from an angle. He slightly leaned away when she leaned closer, because even if she knew him , he didn’t really know her that well, but when he tried to take a small step backwards, he found that he just… couldn’t . 

 

“Huh?” He tried lifting his foot again, and found it to be stuck to the floor. He was eventually able to pull it free, but everyone was now staring at him as he held his foot in the air.

 

“Uhh.”

 

Not having the best balance in the world, he had to put his foot down soon enough, and found that his other foot also felt stuck when he tried to lift it after. It wasn’t impossible to pull up, but walking was an effort, like he was moving with tar or sap stuck to his boots, and Pearl was scribbling on her notepad faster than he thought could be legible handwriting. 

 

“Quick hold this!” Pearl shoved… something in his hands, and he grabbed it with both hands. Both hands, which were now stuck to this object . Oh. It was a mug. 

 

“Uh…” He tried to let go of it, but the mug didn’t budge. 

 

“Fascinating.” Pearl whispered. 

 

“Can you let go of it? Can you control it?” Gem asked, pointing to the mug.

 

Xisuma tried pulling his hands away again, the same way he had, and frowned. “Am I stuck like this now?”

 

“The potion only lasts a few minutes.” Impulse said. “Soups only also last a few minutes, so as long as there isn’t a glitch or anything you should be able to move more soon.” He explained, and Xisuma felt much more relieved. That was good news at least. He wasn’t stuck forever.

 

Suddenly, there was a crash below his feet, and he didn't realize he wasn’t holding the mug anymore until he heard it.

 

His eyes went wide. “Ohh no I’m so so sorry I didn’t even feel it slip I swear I-”

 

“Hey, hey it's just a mug!” Impulse quickly siad. “It's ok, it's not your fault!”

 

“I have a million mugs.” Gem agreed quickly. “That one wasn’t special or anything!”

 

Xisuma nodded, trying to feel less guilty about it, and noticed Scar staring at the mug on the floor. 

 

“How were you able to drop it?” He asked curiously. “Wasn’t it stuck to your hands? Did the mixture wear off that fast?”

 

Xisuma blinked. He tried to lift his foot gently, but found it still very much stuck to the floor. It didn’t seem impossible to move, but it wasn’t exactly easy either. “My feet are still sticky.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“Maybe it has to do with- I dunno, emotions? Do potions do that?” Pearl asked. “Do soups do that? We should know that shouldn’t we? We’re the soup group.”

 

“I’ve heard stories about people being so scared they lost their water breathing effects while in an ocean monument, but I thought those were just myths.” Gem said. “I thought the people just lost track of their time underwater and were either confused or embarrassed to say so.”

 

“Hey Xisuma, do you wanna try testing that? Since we have to see how long this lasts anyhow?” Impulse asked him. It was nice that he was asking, but Xisuma still just felt very put on the spot. 

 

“Uh.. sure?” He said. “But how do I do that?”

 

“Just breathe in…” Impulse lifted his hands, motioning Xisuma to follow his lead. Xisuma breathed in, not sure what Impulse was vying for, but willing to follow along. “... and out…” Impulse flipped his hands down, leading a very slow exhale to follow. “And in…… and out…..”

 

Impulse talked in a slow and calm voice that was relaxing, especially after all of the ideas of testing had Xisuma so high strung. So far this was a little uncomfortable, but nothing as scary as floating towards a ravager, and he tried to remind himself of that fact to relax. Breathing like this felt grounding, and Xisuma continued the slow breathing more quietly when Impulse had stopped the repetitive commands. 

 

“Now step forward.” Impulse instructed, and while Xisuma didn’t understand what Impulse was doing, he listened without hesitation. 

 

And he found that it was surprisingly easy to. His feet didn’t feel stuck to the floor, and he took 3 whole steps forwards… before he noticed everyone staring at him , wonder and amazement on their faces. The nervousness instantly came back as he was the center of attention again, and it instantly felt like glue was keeping his feet in place again. 

 

“So it is based on emotions…” Gem whispered in awe. “That means like- with some practice, this could be really useful for things like sneaking around!”

 

“Huh?”

 

Xisuma didn’t understand what they were saying when Gem and Scar started talking excitedly about something called “spiderman” and breaking into people’s bases, but they looked like they were having fun, so he didn’t try to interrupt it with questions. Plus with some of the attention off of him, he found it slightly easier to walk around again, and he was able to stand awkwardly to the side instead of exactly in the center of the room. That felt marginally better. 

 

“Do you know exactly how long it will last?” Xisuma asked Impulse while they all just watched Scar and Gem talk. Pearl had also joined their mini conversation, so Xisuma felt like it was easier to speak without everyone watching him. 

 

“Well we made the lowest timed potions we could, and potions all have a set time, soooo, I would assume either a number in between those times, or maybe the timing from each added up? We’ll have to time them and find out.” Impulse thought out loud. 

 

“HEY X!” Pearl yelled toward the group.

 

He felt frozen in place, but when he made eye contact with her, she continued. “Do you think you could climb on the wall if you tried?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Like stick your hands on the wall and see if you can climb!” Gem smiled. “I’m not sure if you know who Spiderman is-”

 

Xisuma shook his head. 

 

“- but if this potion works like his powers, it could be a fun thing to try out later.” She explained. With a softer voice, she added, “I know we're supposed to be finding cures for your amnesia and this doesn’t seem related to that at all, but I promise we’re still focused on that. All the data we get from these experiments will help us be more informed about making more mixtures later, and protecting the whole server from just making them without knowing what they do.”

 

Xisuma nodded slowly, only half understanding what she meant. He got the message that she was being sincere though, and if this could help other hermits, other people he used to care about deeply, then it was worth a bit of uncomfort on his end. The hermits had been so generous to him, the least he could do was not complain about potential solutions making him feel weird. 

 

Xisuma used the breathing technique to get to the wall, and then put his hand up high. 

 

“Like this?”

 

“Can you hoist yourself up?” Pearl asked. 

 

Xisuma put his other hand near it, and tried to keep his breathing even. He lifted one foot up on the wall, and when he tried to bend his arms and kick upwards with the foot on the wall, he completely expected to basically kick himself away from the wall. Instead, he was actually able to lift himself up, with less difficulty than he assumed he’d have, and when he put his dangling foot higher up to kick upwards again, he felt a bit of pride. 

 

He was doing it! He was actually climbing up the wall!

 

“Now the hard part,” Scar chuckled. “Can you unstick one limb without completely falling down.”

 

Xisuma gulped, but with focus, he was able to slowly raise one hand off the wall, and the first foot as well, and managed to push himself up a little higher. The other foot and hand firmly stayed stuck to the wall, and it seemed that with focus, he was able to control the level of stickiness of each limb individually. 

 

“Hey you’re actually doing it!” Gem cheered! “You’re like Spiderman!”

 

“I still don’t know what that is.” Xisuma laughed a little. He managed to get to the top of the wall, and was now reaching for the ceiling itself. 

 

“We’ll show you some of the movies next time we see you.” Gem said. “I think Joe might have it in his archive? I’ll find it somewhere.”

 

“That sounds fun.” Xisuma replied quietly. 

 

“You good Xisuma?” Pearl asked. “Don’t get vertigo up there. As someone who stands on her head often, I can assure you it's not a fun feeling!”

 

Xisuma smiled, finally feeling a little relaxed with the group. He knew everyone was watching him, but as he focused on actually getting onto the ceiling with his temporary superpowers, he didn't mind the thought so much. Being relaxed was also making his climbing much easier too, and his surprising strength was making the climb less impossible than he first assumed. 

 

The only issue was that he forgot to emphasize “ temporary powers” in his mind while he was one step away from being a bug on the ceiling, and as he tried to get his last foot stuck above the first, he found it just didn’t stick anymore. His foot slipped on the ceiling, and then his stomach dropped as the magic glue from his fingertips loosened up and gave him nothing to grab onto. 

 

“aHHH!”

 

“Gotcha!”

 

Xisuma opened his eyes to see Impulse’s face above him, and when he turned red in embarrassment, Impulse quickly set him down, which was very appreciated. He was breathing a little fast, trying to reel back from his adrenaline rush while falling, and felt sort of dizzy. Holding his hand on the wall helped him stabilize himself. 

 

“Looks like the time for that was almost twenty minutes. But I started the timer a little late, so I should keep better track next time.” Pearl said. “Interesting.”

 

Xisuma wanted to ask why ten minutes was interesting, but the words didn’t quite come to him fast enough before Gem was grabbing another bottle off the shelf and holding it out in front of him. 

 

“Next up, a strength potion with an azure bluet flowers mixed in the soup.” She said cheerily. 

 

Xisuma took it slowly, trying not to show his lack of balance, and tried to breathe slowly to calm down. He was fine, he was stable, and he was safe on the ground . 

 

“Bottoms up!” Scar said. 

 

Xisuma drank it all in one swig, praying that the taste wouldn’t be as bitter as the first. It had a sort of fizzy taste to it, but it wasn’t sweet like the healing potion, and the fizz felt like it spread throughout his body after he finished it. He felt a little stiff, so he flexed his fingers as he looked at his hands, trying to see if anything had changed immediately. He tried to think about something from a year ago, only to get a slight headache as he usually did when he tried to remember things, so this probably wasn’t a cure then. 

 

As he looked up again, about to ask the others if they noticed anything weird, he found them all to be weirdly taller than him, and getting taller and taller by the second. 

 

“Wha- what's happening??” Xisuma yelled, frantically looking around the room, only to see that everything else was also getting bigger and farther away from him. 

“Oh my GOODNESS!” Gem squeaked. 

 

“Why aren’t you a cute thing!” Scar chuckled. His voice felt like thunder above him, and Xisuma almost wanted to cover his ears from it. 

 

The grain on the floor was visible from where he stood, and the walls looked miles away. Before Xisuma could process too much more of his surroundings, a giant hand, bigger than his entire body, was sweeping under him, making him very disoriented as he was purposely tripped back backwards into their palm. He had nothing to hold onto as the air rushed around him, and he knew that if this person slipped up at all, he was done for. What a sad death, to be crushed like the little bug he was. This was terrifying.

 

With his arms wrapped tightly around himself and eyes closed, he finally felt the air stop moving around him, and he finally felt like he could breathe . 

 

“Sorry sorry!” Impulse apologized much too loudly. “I should have warned you. I just wanted to bring you up to the counter so we could all talk better, and so you wouldn’t get crushed. The floor is not that safe when you’re small.”

 

Xisuma was breathing too heavily to respond, but weakly nodded, trying to look around better now that he could actually see the room he was in again. He did not like this. 

 

“How tall is he?” A voice asked from farther away. He couldn’t recognize it more than being either Pearl or Gem, and felt guilty about that. How bad of a person was he, to not even remember people he had already met? These people were supposed to be his family! He should be paying more attention to them!

 

“Two inches maybe?” Scar said. “Do you have a measuring tape?”

 

Xisuma felt slightly like a cornered animal as he backed away from the loud voices and dizziness of the hermits moving around him. He was still breathing too fast, and trying to move backwards without quite looking where he was going, and he only felt his mistake when he physically ran into it. 

 

An unbalanced book was just unstable enough to fall towards him as he knocked it, and the shadow that was falling towards him was a death sentence if he got crushed under it, so he ran for his life away from it. He had to jump a little to get completely away before it crashed and caught the attention of the hermits, and he was pretty sure he bruised his knees when he fell on them to get away. He was breathing too fast on his hands and knees while voices talked too quickly around him. 

 

He hated being so small, but couldn’t help but curl up on himself anyways, wanting to disappear completely. The voices were louder, but he was breathing so fast he couldn't understand the words or recognize the voices. It was too bright, even with his eyes screwed shut, and everything around him just felt like too much. He couldn’t do this he couldn’t do this he couldn’t do this-

 

“Xisuma!” 

 

The darkness felt so soft. 

 

It wasn’t warm, or like a blanket, but it surrounded him and made the air feel easier to breathe. He was still breathing too fast, but his inhales were gradually slowing down, and after a stuttering breath in and a shaky breath out, he was able to uncurl from where he was laying on the table and become aware of himself again. 

 

It was dark. Did they turn the lights off or something?

 

Xisuma sat up, and noticed that the walls were much closer again, but the room had no furniture, and he was alone. Did the potion wear off? Did it have a weird side effect? Was he dreaming?

 

It took a few minutes of closing his eyes and breathing before he felt stable enough to stand up again, and when he did, he noticed a weirdly shaped window with light spilling from it. 

 

The material of the window didn’t look like wood or stone, something softer and more paper-y, and when he peered through it, a lot more things made sense at once. 

 

He was under a cardboard box.

 

He put his hand under it to lift it up, and while it was heavier than any cardboard had the right to be, he was still able to lift it enough to get the attention of the other hermits. The weight was lifted from his arms and he had enough room to walk out from under it without ducking. 

 

“Hey Xisuma.” Impulse said, keeping his voice soft. “Sorry to trap you under there. You doing alright?”

 

Xisuma took note of his breath, which was back to a somewhat normal pace, and while his heartbeat was still a little fast, it didn’t feel like it was trying to escape his chest anymore. 

 

He nodded, and everyone looked relieved. 

“We’re gonna take it easy until this potion wears off.” Impulse said. “We can just sit here if you want, or make another chunk End Air so we can move to another place if that's more comfortable. I know everything is overwhelming, but you’re safe now. It's all ok.”

 

“Maybe we should go outside for some fresh air?” Scar offered. “If you could make a chunk or two safe out there we could just relax for a bit until this one wears off.”

 

Impulse looked at Xisuma. “How does that sound X?”

 

Being outside sounded nice. There wouldn’t be any falling books and voices wouldn’t echo off the walls, and it really just sounded peaceful.

 

“Sounds alright, yeah.” Xisuma agreed. He hated how scratchy his voice sounded, like he hadn’t said anything for days, and tried to clear his throat to fix it. 

 

Impulse went a few steps ahead to set the air to End Air, which was necessary since Xisuma couldn’t put on the helmet that was much too big for him currently. Scar held his hand out on the table. 

 

“Wanna ride with me out there? My wheelchair might be a little smoother than riding on the shoulder of someone who’s walking.” Scar offered kindly. 

 

“Thank you.” Xisuma nodded, and hopped onto his palm. Now that he knew what he was doing and where he was going, being held felt a lot less overwhelming. He was able to take a comfortable spot on Scar’s shoulder as they wheeled out to a gorgeous clearing outside of the building, and when they stopped moving, a lot of things felt better instantly. 

 

Outside, Xisuma didn’t feel so small. He saw the same view that the other hermits did, from the same height, and nothing was overwhelming. The buildings in the distance were gorgeous, and for a few moments, he was able to forget about the potions and soups and all the overwhelming anxiety that made everything feel so suffocating so fast. Huh. He was happy that he could forget things for a little while. That was a little counterproductive. 

 

It felt…different , to feel the wind on his face. The wind probably felt stronger because of his current size, but it didn’t knock him over, and being able to gently press into it made him feel a little powerful. This was the first time he could remember it actually, since the only End Air was indoors in Scarland, and he hadn’t been outside without his helmet yet. 

 

He was gonna not think about that too much, for his own sanity, actually. Maybe he’d think about it later. 

 

Xisuma felt a tingling feeling again after a few minutes of enjoying the view, and quickly told Scar so he could set him on the ground before Xisuma could crush him. He had already moved to Scar’s palm by the time the potion wore off, so it was easy to get off in time, and after the stiffness went away, Xisuma felt a lot better being bigger again. What a funny thing to learn to appreciate.

 

“Twenty minutes this time.” Pearl said. “It's a good thing it's consistent.”

 

They went back inside, and Xisuma took a slow breath, pushing down his creeping fear and steeling his expression. “What's the next one?”

 

The others all looked between themselves with concerned glances before they looked back at Xisuma. 

 

“We kinda assumed you’d want to be done today.” Impulse said. “We mentioned it while uh- while you were under the box.”

 

“But I’m okay now.” Xisuma blinked. “I’m fine now. What's the next potion?” He asked again. 

 

Pearl squinted at him, analyzing his expression before she spoke. Something about keeping a neutral expression to prove to them of his “okay-ness” came too naturally, and after a moment, she picked up a potion from the shelf. “This last one has a strength potion, and a wither rose. We figured one of the more extreme flowers might be the answer over any ol’ flower, and we had them on hand. But you don’t have to try it today. We can try it another day.”

 

The idea that this one could be the solution had Xisuma reaching out to take it much faster than he had been ready for the others. He was so tired, physically and mentally, but if there was only a chance- if he could get everything he lost back-......

 

And if it didn’t cure him, it would still be helpful data. It was still progress. He was being helpful.

 

“Are you sure ? We can be done for today. We got a lot of information and there's no rush on this.” Gem said softly. “I know that was.. A lot.”

 

“No no-” Xisuma said quickly, too quickly. “I can do at least one more.” He insisted. He needed to know if this was the answer, or curiously would eat him inside out until he could try it.

 

“Ok, but if anything goes wrong at all, this is for sure the last one.” Gem said with a firm nod.

 

Xisuma was quick to agree to those terms, and took the mixture from Pearl. He was ready. 

 

This one by far tasted the worst. It smelled like death a second before he drank it in one go, and the awful acidic and bitter taste lingered on his tongue longer as well. Maybe that was something to be wary of.

 

“Feel anything?” Gem asked. 

 

Xisuma was about to say no, and then was about to try to remember something from a long time ago to see if he could, but his vision went white before he could speak a word. 

 

His body fell forwards, but after a split-second, he felt weightless, and he didn’t feel any pain when he hit the floor as he expected to. 

 

“XISUMA!”

 

“X! Are you ok!!??”

 

He sat back up, about to rub at his face, when he felt nothing where his head was. 

 

“What the-”

 

He opened his eyes quickly, and took stock of his body and where he was. Everything was taller again, but when he looked at his hands compared to the floor, it was easy to tell he had just fallen and hadn’t actually shrunk again. At least he wasn’t small again.

 

Oh yeah. And his hands were transparent. 

 

“What happened to me?” He asked in a panicked whisper. “What- what's going on?”

 

Impulse was holding a hand out in front of him to help him up, but when Xisuma tried to grab it, his hand passed through. 

 

“You’re a ghost.” Scar said, like he couldn’t believe it. “Oh my goodness you’re like the phasmotopia game.”

 

“ What ?” Xisuma didn’t even know what phasmo-whatever was, but he understood the first part. He was a ghost.

 

“Hey hey it's okay!” Impulse said. “The potions are just temporary, remember?”

 

“But- but mine wasn’t!” Xisuma exclaimed, breathing too fast, horrified that his hand passed through the floor when he tried to use it to stand up, “What if I’m stuck like this forever? I can’t touch anything or stand up or-”

 

“Hey hey hey-” Impulse said. “Breathe. It's gonna be okay. Breathe.”

 

Xisuma hyperventilated again, and it felt like a crashing wave of emotions as he realized how bad of an idea this was. They said he could stop earlier. They said they could try more later . He should have taken that offer. What if he was stuck-

 

Impulse breathed very audibly, doing the up and down thing with his hands again, Xisuma followed along until it felt less overwhelming, but still hated that he couldn’t figure out how to stand up or move around without phasing through everything around him. It was an awful feeling, to have nothing to ground him at all. Even his breaths he felt like he could barely feel, if he could at all. 

 

When Xisuma wasn’t panicking anymore, he was able to look at everyone's reactions. Gem was standing close to Impulse, looking apologetic, and Pearl was near Scar, both of them looking worried. Xisuma hated the attention so much. “How was I ever an admin if I can't stand four people looking at me?”

 

“If you’re a ghost, can you float up?” Scar asked innocently. “If you can’t grab a hand, maybe you just have to think about floating to do so.”

 

Xisuma blinked rapidly, and then nodded. He could try that. It couldn’t hurt to, at least. 

 

With some focus, he actually floated up! It just took a little bit of concentration about the direction he wanted to go, and once he started, it didn't feel so hard to keep going. But then he didn’t stop when he was standing up right. And then he didn’t stop when he was scrambling not to hit the ceiling. And then he didn’t stop when everyone was screaming at him to stop- as if he could obviously control it . 

 

He clenched his eyes closed, trying to curl in on himself and make himself feel heavy, but he just kept floating upwards, until the lighting completely changed, and he slowly opened his eyes. 

 

Good news: he stopped floating upwards!

 

Bad news: he was outside, and not where Impulse had already set the chunk to End Air.

 

Xisuma started to panic, but it didn’t take a genius to see that he wasn’t suffocating or even struggling to breathe out here, and even when he held his breath, it never felt like he was running out of air. 

 

“Huh. I guess I don't need to breathe after all.” Xisuma wondered out loud. “This is some weird potion.”

 

He looked over the horizon, where the server sparkled in its serenity. Birds flew by, bugs chirped, pollen drifted over the grassy fields, and Xisuma the ghost just floated over the roof of Gem’s base. 

 

“There you are!” Impulse exclaimed, smiling in relief when he flew closer and landed on Gem’s roof. “I was afraid you just kept floating up- I'm so glad you’re okay.”

 

“I don’t think I need to breathe.” Xisuma mentioned instantly. “I’m not suffocating out here.”

 

Impulse blinked at him. “That's… huh I guess that makes sense. I’ll tell Pearl to make note of it.”

 

“Thanks for uh- thanks for helping me calm down earlier.” Xisuma said after, a little awkwardly. “I appreciate it.”

 

“Oh- uh- of course man. No need to thank me.”

 

“I still appreciate it.” Xisuma smiled. “I’m gonna try to use that when I need to. That breathing thing.”

 

“Do you….” Impulse paused, like he was unsure if he should continue. “Do you get overwhelmed like that often?”

 

Xisuma blinked at him. He didn’t know how to answer that. 

 

Sure today had probably been the worse for his overall fear and anxiety, but on a normal day, out of the very few days he remembered, did he feel panicked that often? Meeting so many people, struggling to know what he liked or who he was, forgetting things even after people had explained them- maybe it was all just building up to a bad day. Hopefully this would be the worst of it, and then tomorrow would be better, and then he wouldn’t even have to use the breathing exercises. 

 

“Uh- I’m not sure. A few times, but I don’t know-”

 

“Hey, it's okay. It's okay if you don't know.” Impulse said, cutting off what would have probably been another spiral.

 

“It’s kinda not okay.” Xisuma sighed. He really wished he could feel the roof he was sitting on, or hold himself so he could feel real and alive and present in the conversation. “That's why everyone’s stressing over me; Because I don’t know anything anymore.”

 

Impulse sighed, and took a seat next to where Xisuma was floating. 

 

“No one really knows anything.” He admitted. “Even before. You’re not the only one struggling for answers. We’re all blindly walking through this together.”

 

“I just feel like a test subject.” Xisuma whispered. “I appreciate everyone explaining what they can, but I never understand it all. I’m just, well heh, for lack of better words-” Xisuma waved his hand over his body. “I’m just floating through it all.”

 

“It's too much, huh?” Impulse asked, glancing at Xisuma with a sympathetic smile.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I’ve been there before.”. 

 

“Really? Has my amnesia- did something similar happen?” Xisuma asked curiously

 

“Not quite memory loss.” Impulse said. “I’m not sure what you’ve heard about this thing- these death games me and a few others have gone through a few of- have you…?”

 

“Scar mentioned it. Cleo too. I don’t know many details.”

 

“You don’t need any.” Impulse sighed, like it was a little painful to bring up. “But on the first one, called 3rd Life, no one really knew anything. No one knew what was going on until it all got real . Game or not, it was really overwhelming. I tried to be everyone’s friend, have every ally I could, and I was left with no one when it came down to it. That breathing exercise- well I can’t say it helped me win or anything- I was far from the final few in that game ,- but it kept me sane on bad days. Got me through it.”

 

“Why would you go through something that makes you so stressed?” Xisuma whispered.

 

“Everyone has different reasons, but a lot of them boil down to keeping life interesting.” Impulse chuckled, trying to make light of the end of his story. “But what I'm saying is that I know things are getting really difficult and overwhelming, but even if we don’t win, we’ll get through it.”

 

“Is “winning”... getting my memory back?” Xisuma asked. 

 

“I hope we win.” Impulse said instead of answering. “This is far more important than any stupid death game.”

 

“Guess we both gotta keep breathing through it.” Xisuma said. Ironically, he didn’t even need to breathe up here. No helmet, no End air; he was starting to miss both of them. They were more comforting than this empty feeling of being weightless. 

 

“I already told the others I found you.” Impulse said after the calm silence. “Do you want to try to float back down? I can also change the chunks here so you can breathe when it wears off if you want to wait however long that takes.”

 

“I can try to figure this out.” Xisuma said. 

 

Xisuma didn’t need to breathe, but focusing on doing it anyways was what cleared his mind enough to think about feeling heavier, sinking downwards, getting back to the room. It was less overwhelming with Impulse’s calm voice guiding him through the first steps. Even when Impulse had to leave to meet him on the other floors he was slowly going through, Xisuma still heard his voice in his head. It was enough. 

 

Going through walls felt like a shiver going down his spine, and staying stuck between two rooms made him feel a little sick. But as awful as it felt, Xisuma was glad he was able to get back to the original room quickly, and then actually stop himself from moving once he got there. 

 

“You made it, phew.” Scar comically wiped his hand over his forehead, and grinned at Xisuma. 

 

“You had us worried there for a minute, mate!” Pearl said. “Glad we don’t have to unstick you from between floors!”

 

Xisuma chuckled with them, trying not to think about how that could’ve been a real possibility if the mixture wore off before he got back to the right room. When Impulse made it inside again, they shared a knowing smile. 

 

“Ok does anyone have milk?” Gem asked. “I think ending this early would be good.”

 

Pearl stepped forwards, holding a bucket of milk. “I do, but do we even know if milk works on potion-soup mixtures? Does milk work on soup?”

 

“I’m not sure, but it's worth a shot.” Gem said. 

 

Pearl held up the bucket to Xisuma, handing it over.

 

Clank!

 

The bucket fell to the floor, and milk spilled everywhere. 

 

“Oh no I’m so sorry I-” Xisuma still had his hands out, and by all accounts, he should have been holding it. 

 

“I’ll grab a towel. It's no big deal.” Gem assured him.

 

Pearl looked at the bucket, confused, and then grabbed a book off the shelf. It was the same one that had almost crushed Xisuma earlier, and he tried not to wince at the sight of it. 

 

“Hold this.” Pearl said, holding it in front of her. 

 

Xisuma once again tried to grab it, but his hands just passed right through it, no matter how much he grabbed at it. 

 

“Interesting.”

 

“So that means he can’t drink any milk.” Impulse said. “We should write that down. This mixture is more dangerous if there’s no immediate fix. I mean we’re not sure if milk works at all, but it's still something to remember.”

 

Pearl nodded, and put the book down to grab her notepad again and write it down. Gem came back with the towel, cleaning up the spilt milk, repeating that it was “nothing to cry over” and then went to throw the towel in a water bucket to clean it later. 

 

“I think you just have to float there until it wears off.” Impulse told Xisuma apologetically. “If you want to try things out you can, but if the time is the same as the other two, it should only be a few more minutes anyways.”

 

“I think I'll just sit here.” Xisuma mumbled. “I don’t wanna accidently float somewhere I can't breathe if it wears off before I get back here.”

 

“That's smart, yeah.” 

---

 

The ghost mixture might have been the worst so far, because at least with the other two, he could feel his body and move it intentionally instead of just spinning around in circles when trying to move back or forth at all. He couldn't touch anything, but he somehow still felt nauseous, and that wasn’t helped by the way his body was suddenly blinking from its slightly transparent look into a more solid color before-

 

From where he was hovering, he blinked back into his solid self, and fell with the gravity that his mass granted him. It was a less than graceful fall onto his face, and although he felt no lasting sharp pains, indicating nothing was likely broken, he still groaned. 

 

“I think that's enough of that for today.” Gem said with a soft chuckle. “We can try more another day.”

 

Even though Xisuma already knew this had been the last one, he breathed a sigh of relief, still on the floor, and the tension in his shoulders slightly relaxed. He was nauseous and a little dizzy still, but it was over now. He could relax for the rest of the day. It was finally over. 

 

---

“That was a lot, huh.” Scar said, as they stepped back into the living room. Xisuma felt emotionally and physically spent, and was tempted to decline anything Scar offered just so he could go to sleep early and prepare for whatever else they had in store for tomorrow. He knew he had promised himself to not decline anything the other hermits want him to do, but if they asked him to try more potions or visit more places today he was afraid he was going to break down. He wasn’t good enough. 

 

Xisuma blankly nodded, not finding the strength to speak up.

 

“I was wondering if you wanted to take the rest of the day easy? I have a few movies we could watch with dinner. They’re some of my favorites, and I'd love to see your first reaction to them. ”

 

Xisuma smiled a little. “That sounds lovely.”

 

Xisuma felt bad not helping with dinner, so even though he was tired, he stood up to help cut things up where Scar instructed. Soup sounded a little nauseating, even if there were no potions mixed in, so they made a vegetable pasta, sir frying all the vegetables while they waited for the noodles to cook. 

 

“Oh! I was going to tell you!” Scar turned toward Xisuma, excited. “We can start cooking more interesting foods now! Keralis sent me a list of all of your allergens, and so we just gotta avoid those!” Scar beamed. They had already made a delicious meal for tonight, but the allergens list would come in handy for more complicated dishes with ingredients that could be common allergens. 

 

Xisuma didn’t understand what was so boring about the meals, because to him, they had all been exciting and new and so skillfully made thus far, but Scar seemed excited, so he just smiled and nodded along. 

 

“It looks like you’re allergic to-” Scar squinted at his communicator. “Give me a moment, I'm dyslexic-.... Right! Magma cream because you tried it and broke out once, spider eyes always make you sick- who doesn’t get sick?-” Scar mumbled to himself. “And you dislike most of the ocean foods but you can eat them if needed. So that leaves us a lot of options!”

 

“That sounds nice.” Xisuma smiled. “I can’t exactly remember any complicated dishes, but if you have something in mind I’d love to try it tomorrow.”

 

“I have plenty of recipes I think you’ll like. Plus! I can show you how to make some easy things, so if I'm ever not here, you can still make something nice for yourself.”

 

At that promise, Xisuma lit up a little, thinking about the idea of getting to learn something new and interesting and safe.

 

“I’d love that.” He said honestly, smiling at Scar. “Thank you.”

 

They both got their servings’ of food when the noodles were done and they mixed them in, and then took spots on the couch to start the movie. 

 

“So what's this Star Wah-rs about?” Xisuma asked, reading the title that Scar was selecting. 

 

“Star Wars. ” Scar corrected. “And it's about a galaxy far far away…”

 

--- 

 

At the end of the day, Xisuma was thoroughly exhausted. Between all of the new things he was learning and practicing, all of the mixtures he tried, all the movies he had watched, and all of the people he met, it was a lot. But now it was time to read a short chapter of his book on potions before he fell asleep, as per his nighttime routine. It was relaxing, informative, and something useful he could do other than being a test dummy for everything. He had knowledge, and he had control , with his reading. 

 

He had finished the historical section the night before, and had finally made it to the properties section. When he flipped to the table of contents, he reread the order of the sections of the book. 

 

Map of potions ingredients list and outcomes

History: discovery, initial uses compared to modern day uses, significance, important potion discoveries(lab and exploration discoveries)

Potions and descriptions: known base potions and mixed ingredient outcomes

Potion Table: how to use it

Notes, disclaimers, additions

Glossary

 

He was only one section through, but it was the longest of the sections by far, so he was proud of the progress he’d made so far. He didn’t want to judge any chapter by its title and possibly miss an important detail, so he continued through it chronologically as he had been. He was excited for the potion table chapter, because if he learned how to make his own potions, he could possibly help the soup group with their work, and also feel more confident with potions as a whole. He didn’t want a real fear to develop because of a few bad experiences, as if that  was something he could control. 

 

As he finally started to settle into the book, relaxing and just taking in the information he was learning, he was interrupted by a buzzing feeling next to him. His communicator. 

 

He was glad Scar and Cleo had taught him how to use these, because he was quick to find the general chat to see who had said something. It was unlikely he could help with much if it was a physical task or an emergency, but he was still curious. 

 

What he did not expect was for the group chat to be empty, but for his direct messages to have a notification. 

 

Welsknight: Hey Xisuma, I know you haven’t met me yet, but my name is Wels. Me and a few other hermits are on a quest to search for more answers for your amnesia, and your brother mentioned that we should ask you if you wanted to join. We completely understand if you are uninterested for any reason, and if you have any questions we can answer them. I don’t know if anyone has told you about this, but we’re going to the dimension you’re from. The End dimension. 

 

As Xisuma finished reading the text, eyes wide, another text from the same stranger popped up. 

 

Welsknight: we’re leaving the day after tomorrow, and we have any gear or supplies we could need. Before we go to The End, we’ll be visiting the stronghold which has an old library in it. You can go to both places or just one if you’d prefer. No pressure to come. Just let us know if you’re interested. 

 

Xisuma took a deep breath. This was a big decision, and if they were only leaving in two days, he didn’t have much time to think about it. 

 

On one hand, this had to be dangerous. An entirely different dimension? He was having trouble getting used to the world he was currently in, and there was no doubt that this one would function differently and could be very overwhelming. Scar had told him he could die and respawn safely, but that hadn’t been tested yet, and dying surely had to be painful even if it wasn’t permanent. 

 

But on the other hand, this Welsknight hermit said this was where he was from, and Xisuma had no idea when he would have another chance to learn about his past so deeply like that again. And Ex, his brother, had suggested it. That had to mean something… right? Something important was in this dimension, whether answers to his many questions, or the one answer that would fix everything. That was a chance he couldn’t let slip away. 

 

And if he got there, and didn’t feel ready to go to this new dimension, he could always stay in the library they talked about. Surely one or two hermits would stay with him or take him home early at any point if he couldn’t make the whole journey. Everyone had been so accommodating, and he wanted to give these new hermits the benefit of the doubt that they would continue that. They were hermits. They were family. He could trust them. 

 

It would be scary and unknown, but it would probably be beautiful and unknown too. 

 

That was it then. That was his decision. 

 

Xisumavoid: I’d like to join you if it isn’t too much trouble. Could you give me a list of supplies I should find and anything else I should know?

 

Welsknight: I'll send over a detailed list tomorrow morning to everyone, and if you’re missing anything on it we have plenty of spare…. Everything. 

 

Welsknight: Welcome to the end busting team X

Notes:

hope you enjoyed! leaving a kudos or comment would be super appreciated! thanks for reading!

:D

Chapter 10: To steal your own belongings

Summary:

Xisuma has a lovely time visiting his old base

Notes:

Gonna be completely honest, something that stopped me from finishing this chapter was that i could not, for the life of me, figure out what Xisuma’s base looked like in season 9. I finally found a good link that shows where and what everyone built that season, but even then, it didn’t give me much to work with. Xisuma’s name was just in the empty mountain!! What did he actually build??? So sorry for the wait! And please ignore how little I actually describe the place he’s going. I don’t know what his room looks like. It's an author's nightmare.

 

Xisuma, as usual, woke up with a headache. It went away on its own, and when Xisuma felt like he could comfortably move again, he got out of bed to be greeted with a delicious breakfast. Scar was cooking something, and pouring tea for the both of them. 

 

After picking up his tea and thanking Scar, Xisuma cleared his throat, ready to ask something that had been on his mind all morning. 

 

“So….” He started, not sure how to articulate his thoughts. “Uh…”

 

“Yeah?” Scar prompted casually. 

 

“Someone named Welsknight messaged me last night.” Xisuma said. “He said I should go to the End dimension with him and some other hermits, and he said it was uh- where I’m from. And I want to know more about myself, so I said yes, and uh- I guess I'm here to ask you about that? Did I make a mistake? Should I actually go? Everyone has been nice so far, but are there any people I shouldn't talk to around here?”

 

“Woah woah,” Scar chuckled. “That's a lot of questions, slow down a bit.”

 

Xisuma closed his mouth, slightly embarrassed. 

 

“First off, I’m glad you asked me before going off with anyone.” Scar smiled. “And yeah, Wels is a good person and close friend of yours. Really most people on this server are good people.”

 

“That implies there are some who aren’t.” Xisuma stated.

 

“There are some who…” Scar frowned, trying to figure out how to word it. “There are some people who don’t consider themselves hermits.” He started. “Your brother, for instance, and a lot of their friends. We’ve had complications in the past, but for the most part these days, we stay out of their way, and they stay out of ours. They aren’t violent unless provoked, and it's not exactly dangerous to cross paths anymore either, but they’re not the friendliest either.”

 

“They won’t like- attack us? Right?” Xisuma asked timidly. “I mean like- someone said- ... .Like I was an admin, or- or.. The Admin -, and I'm not exactly myself right now, and they could see that as an opportunity…. And-”

 

“The Helsmits, as they call themselves, like to pride themselves on a fair match.” Scar said, purposely interrupting Xisuma’s nervous rambling. “They wouldn’t kick a player when they’re down, or attack a server with no admin. We’ve had our struggles, but they aren’t something you should worry about.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Positive.” Scar nodded. “My other half has even helped me with bad pain days before. He once came over to cause mischief, but when he saw me struggling, he picked me up and took me home. Kinda sweet, even if rare.”

 

“Your- do you have a sibling Scar?” Xisuma asked in surprise, blinking rapidly as he took in the information.

 

“I don't call him that, but eh, maybe more like a cousin or something. Helsmits are kinda hard to explain, so we can save that conversation for another day.” Scar smiled sheepishly. “His name is BadTimes, but he doesn’t come over often, and when he does, he’s barely a bother. A little mischief sometimes, but not a threat at all. Similar things can be said about the other Helsmits. Ex was the only one who took it pretty far, and I can't say I know all the details, but they’ve gotten some character improvement over the years. Some hermits hold grudges longer though, Wels included, so Ex and Wels aren’t…on the best terms.”

“So this Wels-guy is safe, right?”

 

“Very much so.” Scar said firmly. “If safety is a concern, know that Wel’s would go to extremes to keep you safe. Whether you remember him or not.” He tried to say it softly.

 

“That's… reassuring.” Xisuma felt awkward still holding his tea, so he finally took a sip of it. It was a little grounding actually. He was here, at this moment, drinking tea with a friend and having an interesting conversation. Things were okay. And it was good tea.

 

“I briefly heard of this plan to go to the end, but you might have more details than me. Do you know when it is?” Scar asked after his own sip of tea.

 

“Tomorrow, I believe. Wels said I should get supplies ready if I want to join. And that they should have some spares if I needed them.”

 

“Well in that case, I think I have an idea of where you can get some well fitted armor, my friend.” Scar said, a hopeful glint in his eye. “If you’re up for it, that is.”

 

----

 

Cub had joined them, since Scar’s joints were acting up and he didn’t want to accidentally strand them both if something happened and Scar couldn’t walk on his own. It was just a precaution, but Xisuma also enjoyed the company of another hermit while they traveled. Don’t get him wrong! Scar’s company had been nothing but wonderful! But after several morning breakfast conversations, it was nice to have another voice to add to conversations so Xisuma could listen to more of the conversation than he had to participate for. Even if Cub didn’t talk nearly as much as Scar. 

“Could you tell me more about the End dimension?” Xisuma asked as they stepped into the-... As they stepped into his base. “So I know what to prepare for, other than the list Wels gave me.”

 

“It's a lot emptier than you might expect.” Cub started. “It feels endless.”

“There's not much wildlife, but what does live there will leave you alone if you don't make eye contact.” Scar warned. “They're called enderman, and hoo boy they do not like us players looking at them too long.” He chuckled. “If you do make eye contact and they get aggressive, find water to step in. They don’t like it.” 

 

“Huh.” Xisuma mumbled, confused but intrigued. He looked at Scar and nodded. “Good to know.”

 

“Your brother is visiting the Nether right now. That's the other dimension.” Cub said.

 

“There's another one?” Xisuma asked in surprise. 

 

“Heh, yeah man.” Cub chuckled. “A Hell of a dimension.”

 

“Literally.” Scar grinned.

 

“It's kinda the opposite of the overworld.” Cub said when Xisuma looked obviously confused. “Hot and fiery and dangerous stuff. We can show you it someday. It’s pretty easy to get to.”

 

Xisuma nodded, a little hesitant when he processed the word “dangerous”. Cub had said it so casually he almost missed it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to visit a place labeled dangerous, especially when he had to prepare so much for the End, which was supposedly very calm and empty compared to the other dimensions. He didn't even want to think about how much he’d have to prepare- both physically and mentally- for that adventure. 

 

The rest of the flight was mostly in silence, as Scar and Cub had to focus on the direction they were going. They checked their communicators multiple times, but Xisuma didn’t know why, and he felt a little too embarrassed to ask about it. 

 

“We’re here.” Cub said, looking up from his communicator, again, to tell them both. 

 

“Home sweet home!” Scar said enthusiastically. 

 

When they landed in front of the massive structure, Xisuma could only stare, hoping his memory would provide any sort of recognition for him. And when it didn’t, as he expected, he suddenly found the tiles underneath his feet more interesting than his old home’s entrance. 

 

Walking in had no grandeur to it, and as boot clicked on cold stone floors Xisuma could only stare at the empty hallways with a newfound curiosity. As he expected, and to his disappointment, he recognized none of it. 

 

Their path led them to a door, which Cub opened for both of them. Besides some simple decoration in the hallways, the base has been pretty bare, and Cub and Scar had emphasized how Xisuma’s redstone farms were something to truly marvel at. His storage system was also something efficient and unique every season, but neither could remember where it was, so Xisuma assumed he could find that later. In comparison to the rest of the base, this room was significantly more detailed. 

 

“We’ll give you some space.” Scar said as Cub started to open the door again. “Take all the time you need, and me and Cub can pick you up when you’re done.”

 

Xisuma wasn’t really sure why they left him alone. But he didn't know how to phrase that question quickly enough, and they were already out the door before he could make a sound. 

 

Lacking the right words in the moment, stuttering through questions or answers- He wondered how they ever thought of him as a leader. Maybe the old Xisuma learned how to control those things over time, and X was ruining all his hard work by showing the hermits the childish aspects of himself. Hopefully, if he got his memory back, that past version of himself could forgive him for the mistakes he felt like he was constantly making.

 

Taking a step forwards, his boots echoed in the open space. He was all alone now, truely. 

 

He ran his hand over the wooden desk, begging for a memory of building it on some late night when he needed a desk to work at. Maybe it took a while to make the desk, and he drew things on the ground for much too long before he built it. Maybe he preferred working on his bed or in another room all together, and the desk was just for show. Maybe he hadn’t even built it, and it was a gift from a friend. 

 

He couldn’t remember . 

 

He sighed, trying not to let the frustration build up, and looked away from the desk. He went over to some chests in the corner, hoping there were some answers to anything here. Maybe even a cure, by some miracle!

 

But of course, as he was getting used to, there was nothing of value, nothing to save him from the nightmare of losing everything, and nothing to give him hope that anything else in his storage would benefit him in such a spectacular way. 

 

Half scoffing under his breath, he muttered to himself. “Of course. What did I expect?” 

 

Xisuma wanted to say it felt familiar. That it felt like home, or even had the essence of something he used to know. Something that was his, designed and built by his hands from his own mind, and filled with everything that made him… Xisuma. This was his , once. It should have felt like it.

 

As he walked around the space that was once his home, with his worn touch in every crevice of every block, he didn’t recognize a thing. It didn’t smell familiar, or look familiar, or have any sort of weight that maybe this structure belonged to who he once was….. To who he was trying to be again .

 

The dust had started collecting on the shelves, and with no recollection of the last time he cleaned the place, it felt nearly abandoned in the still life that remained in his absence. In Xisuma’s absence. 

 

And it just felt lonely. 

 

----

 

“FUCK!” Ex slammed the lid of the chest shut, flipping it off before deciding to also kick it. 

 

“Woah, what’d that chest do to you?” Hels asked, sliding up behind Ex. 

 

“It didn’t have the fuckin shit we’ve been searching for all day.” Ex bit back. “That was the last one of this bastion. I’m so fuckin’ tired of this.”

 

“Then let's take a break.” Hels suggested. “Three bastions is a lot in a day anyways.”

“No, we can't,” Ex argued instantly. 

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because- we have to find something .” Ex stressed. They threw their hands in front of them. “We can’t just- we can’t give up!”

 

Hels looked at them slowly, not answering, and didn’t react when Ex threw a glare at him.

 

He sat down on the brick, dangling his legs over the edge where he could look into the heart of the bastion. A few magma cubes bounced around the middle, and a few pigs wandered the halls on the far side. They had blocked off any halls that led to this area, so they were as safe as they could be in the Nether. Hels was used to being always aware of his surroundings, and moments where he could let his guard down were rare. He secretly enjoyed them. 

 

Hels patted the brick next to him for Ex to sit down, but Ex didn’t move to. 

 

“We need a break.” Hels said, calm in a way that sounded apathetic. Ex knew he was just bad at putting any emotion in his voice. “ You need a break.”

 

“I’m fine.” Ex lied. “I need to find a cure.”

 

“You probably won’t.” Hels stated in a monotone voice, shrugging. He didn’t bother looking at Ex when it said it, and continued to watch the lava bubbles popping below.  

 

“You take that back.” Ex growled, glaring at Hels. “You take that fucking back.”

 

“You want me to lie to you?” Hels asked casually. “I can if you want, but you’re always so mad when I do.”

 

“I hate you.” Ex said. 

 

“You hate a lot of people. I’m not special.” Hels said, not even bothering to look at them. He scraped some dirt out of his fingernails, and enjoyed the view over the bastion they had just finished raiding. 

 

The silence hung in the air as magmas grunted below them and ghasts screeched in the distance. Ex gave into the pull of the need to rest and sat on the same blackstone ledge as Hels, leaning on the opposite wall where the wall above them dipped lower. It wasn’t the most subtle move, sitting as far away from Hels as they could, but Hels paid no mind to it. The silence was stiff, but it wasn’t anything either of them weren’t used to. Without piglins chasing them down now, the Nether was surprisingly peaceful.

 

“We can look through more bastions tomorrow.” Hels mentioned. He threw a pebble over the edge and into the lava below. The lava didn't bounce where water would, and the rock just fell straight in. “Go farther out north where the hermits haven't touched anything yet.”

 

“I thought you said this was pointless.” Ex mumbled angrily. “We’re not gonna find anything here and you’re right.”

 

“We’re getting other helpful stuff. Plus this is healthy for you.” Hels threw another pebble, but it hit a rock jutting out from the pool and bounced into a lower room on the first floor. A tiny magma slime bounced towards it, curious. Hels almost smiled at the sight.

 

“What?” Ex asked. Their voice was confused enough to grab Hels attention again. 

“Ex.” Hels looked away from the small slime below, finally giving Ex his full attention as he raised an eyebrow. “You just lost your fucking brother. If you dont keep moving, I know you’re gonna end up in some depressive slump in the middle of dumb fuck nowhere. I’d rather you hang with me than get yourself killed over and over.”

 

“I didn’t-” Ex breathed sharply. “I didn’t lose him. He's still alive.”

 

“Maybe alive, but you still lost him. He doesn’t know you. You said it yourself. I think that's as close to losing someone as you can get when they’re still alive.” Hels said. He scooted closer to Ex. 

 

“I’d rather have you grieve by slamming chests close and punching basalt, than do something stupid like you would alone.” He said a little softer. 

 

Ex growled again, mad at everything Hels was implying, and then whipped their gaze away from Hels, glaring at the inside of the bastion. 

 

“Jackass.” Ex seethed, pointing their middle finger towards Hels. 

 

“Loser.” Hels replied smoothly. Ex could hear the smile in his voice.

 

“Dick.”

 

“Fuckface.”

 

“Dipshit.”

 

“Asshole.”

 

Hels got the last word, and when he looked at Ex to see why they paused the slew of insults, he saw them staring blankly at the lava below. The fire behind their eyes was calmer.

 

Ex scooted closer to the middle, just enough so they could bump shoulders lightly. 

 

“Thanks.” Ex mumbled. They wrapped their arms around themself, and leaned on Hels. 

 

Hels leaned towards Ex, so balancing was easier for both of them. More bubbles of lava popped slowly below them, and the swirl of slowly moving colors was a little mesmerizing. In their own little world, everything almost felt like any other day. Just the two of them, being most comfortable in the most dangerous dimension, together.

 

“No problem.” Hels said quietly. 

 

The lava pool wasn’t as pretty as a sunset, but sitting here was their own serene moment that was good enough for the both of them. 

 

Whether they were successful tomorrow or not, it was going to get better. 

 

----

 

Xisuma came to his old base with a goal. To get supplies for the End dimension, so he could explore his homeland with new parts of his family and hope to find some sort of cure for his amnesia. But as he stared at the desk he knew nothing about, he was reminded of his previous goal as well: to learn about his past life. 

 

Well, he was staring at the room he had apparently built with his own two hands, so no time like the present to work towards that one at the same time!

 

He didn’t really know where anything was, obviously, but he wasn’t sure if Scar or Cub could help him with that even if they had stayed. Maybe it was actually nice that they gave him space, because it gave Xisuma the time to wander on his own and take everything in at his own pace, without having to keep up with constant conversation. It was tranquil. 

 

Chests creaked when he opened more of them, and old belongings were dug through in hopes of finding something useful. Either Xisuma wasn’t looking in the right area, or his old self had been a hell of a hoarder, because after the 5th chest of junk, half broken nick-nacks, and unused raw materials, Xisuma was starting to get a little frustrated. 

 

“He couldn’t have just labeled these chests?” Xisuma mumbled to himself… about himself. “How could an admin be this disorganized? It's dreadful .”

 

With a huff, he closed the lid again, and stood up. This was getting him nowhere. He was tempted to just keep wandering, because maybe Cub and Scar had left him near the wrong room when they left, but when he stood up to make good on that thought, he saw it. 

 

An ender chest . 

 

And he knew what it was. 

 

In all of his time in this world, he hadn’t had the faintest thought about there being anything only he could access, and now that it was sitting right in front of it, his breath was stolen away. 

 

This could have so many answers in it. This could have letters, writing, answers to his past. Admin codes, instruction manuals, maybe the cure to his amnesia. The potential was endless. 

 

It was almost scary, to reveal this all on his own, with none of his family around him for support. This felt like a special moment, and if he had the chance to, he wanted to share it with someone he knew. If it was disappointing, the comfort from them would be just as needed as the support.

 

“If I ever want to be a leader again, memory or not, I'm going to have to do scary things on my own.” Xisuma told himself as he took a decisive breath. 

 

“I’m going to have to discover who I was, on my own .”

 

He put his hand on the lid. 

 

“And I'm going to have to remake myself, who I am right now, on my own.”

 

And he opened the chest. 

 

----

 

“Man, does Xisuma do this for every glitch we have?” Etho asked, eyes glued to his screen. “This is so…..”

 

“...Exhausting?” Doc finished for him. Etho glanced over to where Doc was staring at his own screen, eyebags illuminated by the artificial blue glow from it. He might have been sleeping every night, but it sure didn’t seem restful.  “Yeah.. I think he does this for every one of them.”

 

“Man…”

 

“He’s faster than me though.” Doc mentioned. “I've seen him do it before, and it's faster. Maybe he figured out some shortcuts to these since then.”

 

“I hope he has. This is making me feel guilty for every glitch I've reported before.” Etho sighed. He blinked twice, trying to keep his eyes in focus so he could read the code file names to sort through another page for glitches. 

 

“Don’t feel too bad. Reporting them at least means he doesn’t have to track and find them on his own.” Doc said, giving him a sympathetic look. 

 

“How much do you know about glitches, Doc?” Etho asked. “I mean, you sorta abuse them all the time, right? You gotta know something.”

 

Doc sighed, and looked away from his screen. It was clear they both needed a break with the way their eyes felt itchy when they looked away for more than a second and blinking felt like a thing they had to manually remember how to do. 

 

“I don’t know as much as I should.” Doc admitted. “More than the average player, but most of this is new to me.”

 

“Do you know if they go away?” Etho asked quietly. “Like, if they aren’t taken care of, do they alway get worse? Or do some just go away on their own? Or if there are ways to fix glitches other than through admin controls? If we don’t report them, do they just get worse until they’re finally noticed and taken care of the hard way?” He was sort of rambling, but he was down the rabbit hole of work that was fixing glitches, and now he was curious about how much work Xisuma actually put into the server that no one knew about. 

 

Doc shook his head. “I have no idea.”

 

“Xisuma would know….Huh?” Etho looked out the window, stretching his eyesight by looking at something far away. The headache that was forming was something he was going to be forced to deal with soon. “He’d probably have this whole thing fixed by now.. If it was any other hermit in his place…”

 

“He would.” Doc agreed. 

 

The silence seemed to stretch on for the two, and it seemed like it was the end of the conversation. Both of them clearly needed a break, some sort of meal or snack and probably some sunlight and fresh air, but they had both turned back to their screens, sifting through code with too much determination. Xisuma would do the same for them. He probably did, or used to, in fact. The least they could do was repay a small portion of the favor. 

 

The quietness returned as the conversation died off, and both of them continued to focus on looking through code. The issue with the task was that it was really hard to gauge how much work they had actually done, because they couldn’t see how much work was ahead. Normally, not being able to see progress visually made motivation difficult, but when either of them thought about Xisuma, confused and anxious in a world he couldn’t remember, surrounded by the family he couldn’t remember , any motivation issues vanished. 

 

“I hope he can tell us sometime.” Doc muttered, like it was on his mind for several minutes. The words had such weight to them. He hoped . He wasn’t sure they’d ever get their old Xisuma back to tell him about the wonders of code again. Etho heard the subtle message in it. 

 

“Yeah… me too.” Etho breathed. “Me too.”

 

----

 

Xisuma stood tall for the first time in his memorable life.

 

Shoulders pressed back, arms loose at his sides, and back straight, he looked in the first full length mirror he had found, and felt a sense of peace that he hadn’t realized he'd been missing. 

 

It wasn’t difficult to see that he was tall. Far from the tallest of the family members he had met, because Doc was something else in height, but something about this armor made him feel complete in a way he couldn’t describe. He felt tall with it on. 

 

There was no familiarity in the weight on his shoulders, or the bulk on his arms, but there was comfort. It made him feel less like an awkward lanky being, clumsily tripping his way through this new world, and more like someone with a presence. Someone who took up enough space to exist . 

 

Someone fit to be an admin. 

 

Xisuma took a slow exhale. 

 

He didn't recognize the person in the mirror. Purple eyes and star freckles; He probably couldn’t pick out his own face in an array of photos more than he could pick out any other hermit. The body in the mirror was still unfamiliar and foreign, and probably would be for some time. 

 

But finally, he liked what he saw. 

 

He didn’t even realize that the person in his mirror in Scarland had felt so different from him until now. With the pressure of this suit- his suit!- and the added bulk to his silhouette, he felt whole. He felt stronger, powerful. He felt comfortable. 

 

At the start of it all, and when he first met Ex, he had been wearing armor. It had felt comfortable, even if the hug between the two was loud and clanky, but this somehow felt… different. For a few days, he hadn’t bothered with putting that armor back on, because it had too many buckles, and the lighter plastic only added a little bit of comfort. This set didn’t feel more familiar by any means, but it felt heavier, more secure, and Xisuma felt stronger. 

 

Maybe after the End dimension, he would still keep this one on more often.

The weapons he had already admired sat leaning against the wall so he wouldn’t forget them when he left. The craftsmanship on each one contained so much detail, and he wished he remembered where he got them or how he made them. Maybe another hermit could tell him. 

 

With armor and weapons down, Xisuma wasn’t really sure what else he should look for here. Wels had mentioned food, but Xisuma was doubtful he’d find fresh food around here, and Scar probably knew how to pack a lunch better than he could anyhow. With nothing else to really look for, Xisuma decided he’d take some time to look through his other belongings. Even if they couldn't help him through the End trip, they could help paint a better picture of his old life. Who he used to be. 

 

This decision brought his attention back to the other thing he found in the Enderchest. It sat on the still unfamiliar desk: A blank lined book, with nothing but a signature on the first page. 

 

If lost, please return to Xisuma (thanks :D) 

To be in an ender chest, and to have been started with a signature- the old Xisuma had some plans for this book, even if he had no idea what those were now. This book was special. 

 

He felt a buzz in his pocket, and pulled it out to read the message sent in the general chat. 

 

Grian: Anyone have some spare TNT? Testing something real quick

 

MumboJumbo: you better not be trying to blow up Xisuma! Man’s gone through enough!

 

Grian: nothing of the sort! Just getting familiar with logs and data stuff!

 

FalseSymmetry: and you need TNT for that? -_o

 

MumboJumbo: I think I have a bit of spare tnt you can use. 

 

Grian: about that….

 

MumboJumbo: GRIAN!

 

Oh Grian; What a character of a hermit. His sweater matched his personality- a bright fiery red. And from the late night stories Scar told Xisuma, detailing that other world that a few hermits had been on, it seemed that passion and determination carried over in other universes. 

 

Xisuma never wanted to forget Grian’s personality again. Nor any of the hermits. He wanted to know them as thoroughly as he used to. 

 

“If only I could write it all down somewhere.” Xisuma mumbled. “So I could read it all back in case I forget again.”

 

Xisuma looked at the desk with the book and sighed. Maybe he could ask Scar for a spare book tonight. 

 

He started to turn around, to look in another chest for anything else that could be helpful, and then paused.

 

Actually, wait. Memory or not, he was still Xisuma! And all of this stuff, even if it didn’t feel like it, was his! Screw whatever plans his past self might have had for this book, he wasn’t going to just wait around for his memory to come back before he would use his own things! He was going to write in this book about the things he wanted to write about. Now. In this moment. And nothing was gonna stop him!

 

With newfound determination, Xisuma sat down, picked up a pen, and opened the empty book. 

 

I hope it never comes to this, but I never want to forget my family again. In this book lies the personalities and descriptions of every hermit I have met and will continue to meet. It will be updated often. 

 

Fact one: I love my family. 

 

Grian: 

 

• Parrot hybrid

• Wears a red sweater often

• Loud, enthusiastic, chaotic

• Strong opinions that sometimes clash with others

• Likes TNT (?)

 

 

Scar: 

 

• Wears cat ears often

• Brown hair, green eyes

• Has a charming conman’s smile, but still a little bad at lying

• Incredible host, good at making pancakes

• Overworks himself sometimes. 

 

 

Cub: 

 

• Short back hair, glasses, wears a lab coat often

• Monotone and somewhat low voice

• Natural leader. Knows how to organize people. 

• Kinda quiet. 

• Hard to read his emotions

 

 

After writing out those three descriptions, Xisuma got the idea to draw little doodles near each name, so he could better remember small details about them, and have more fun with this. Grian got a feather, and after reading back on the chat fondly, Xisuma added a mini block of TNT as well.  He put a cat next to Scar with no hesitation, and left Cub’s space blank for the time being, so he could think of a symbol that was better than just glasses. 

 

Xisuma wrote every aspect of every hermit he could remember. Some faces were blurry, so he described voices. Some names were on the tip of his tongue, so he wrote down if it was long or short, crisp or soft, or what letter it started with, if he could remember that. He could fill in gaps later. Any detail that could be used to figure out who people were if he somehow forgot them again, and any details that he wanted to remember for his own sake. His hand cramped with the intensity he held the pen, any with so many hermits he’d met in the past few days, it took a lot longer than he expected to. 

 

And then water dripped on the page. 

 

He instantly wiped it, fearing it would sink into further pages and crinkle them, but smudged the ink in the process. With a slight frown, he looked towards the ceiling, to see if any leaks caused it. It hadn’t been raining when they flew over, but maybe it had started in the time he was inside, and he hadn’t noticed. He wondered if that could affect the journey home to Scarland. 

 

There was no visible leak on the ceiling. 

 

He titled his chair backwards to look behind himself where he saw a window, and the day was as clear as it had been earlier. Maybe a little dimmer, but no signs of rain recently or on its way.

 

He looked back at the ceiling to be sure there wasn’t a leak, and he squinted his eyes to peer closer, he noticed it. 

 

Fingers brushed his cheek, and came back wet.

 

“Oh.”

 

He laughed a little at his own obliviousness, and his eyes closed with his smile, letting him feel more tears stream down his face in the same tracks he hadn’t noticed before. 

 

“How did I not…?” He chuckled. 

 

And then through his laughing tears, a sob escaped him. 

 

“Oh.” He laughed again, louder. “Huh.”

 

He pushed the book father up the table, so he wouldn’t cry on it anymore, and tried to hide his face in his hands. No one was there to watch him, but through his confusing emotions of sobbing and laughing and not really even knowing what triggered this onslaught of feelings, he wanted hiding to be the one control he had over the world. He leaned his elbows on his desk for support, and held his head in his hands, feeling comfort in the pressure. 

 

“I’m such a derp.” He laughed. He cried. “Forgetting myself like I have. That Ex fellow was right.”

 

Even just thinking of their name, Xisuma was reminded of his brother, and could only scarcely bring a face to mind. 

 

“I’ve forgotten everything.” He sobbed. “I don’t know who I am.”

 

He let himself revel in the emotions that had been building up; They felt like they had been bubbling under his skin for a while. It was cathartic to let it all out, when no barriers could stop him. Sitting in his home, no one was watching him, and he had no task to complete. He just had time to be with himself, and cry. 

 

With each sob, each renewed cycle of crying, Xisuma felt a little bit better. After a while, he didn’t feel the same relief with each sob, and he knew it was healthy to calm down and come out of it slowly now. It just felt right. 

 

“I don’t know how I am.” He cried softly as he calmed down. “But I'm learning about who my family is.” 

 

He carefully slid the book closer, and tried not to hover over it too much so no more water could crinkle the pages or smear the ink. He flipped back through the pages he had written in his time here. The descriptions were sparse, or even outright blank, under many names, but it was something to start with.

 

“That's enough for right now.” He smiled despite the tears still streaming down his face silently. “My family is a part of me, and I'm going to have to learn about them and other parts of myself slowly. I’m in no rush.” He hugged himself, and took a slow breath. “I’m in no rush.” 

 

Xisuma didn’t really look at the time, so he didn’t know how long he had been crying. When he sniffled for the last time, and softly chuckled about the state he must look like, he felt…. Better. 

 

Things were okay. They were going to be okay. 

 

It was about time to head home, so he started to pack up the things he’d collected for the End journey, and the things he wanted to bring back to Scarland for his own comfort. Surely his past self wouldn’t mind him borrowing his own belongings. He had already stolen a book after all. 

 

His communicator buzzed, and after jumping from the surprise, he laughed at himself while he pulled it out. Interestingly, it wasn’t Scar or Cub calling him for an update.

Stressmonster101: heya luv! I’m planning a tea party for the day after tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us! It’s just a nice way to relax and unwind. I maybe be named stress, but I don't want my family to feel that way all the time! 

Stressmonster101: just let me know if you can make it, and if you can’t, i’ll find another thing we can do to relax at another time. 

 

Tomorrow was the day they were going to the End, but this party was conveniently timed after that! Xisuma smiled, feeling a warm feeling in his chest, and started to type out a reply. 

 

Xisumavoid: I'd love to join! As far as I know I’m free! Do you need any help setting things up?

 

Stressmonster101: oh i’d love help! You can get some extra cookies for ya service ;) see you then!

 

Xisuma grinned to himself, and set down his communicator just so he could enjoy the warmth the mini conversation brought him. His knowledge about this world was limited, but he was sure of one thing. Xisuma loved his family. His hermits. 

 

Xisuma was about to text Scar that he was done getting his stuff and wanted to head back to Scarland for the night, but paused, and pulled out his book instead. Near Stress’s name, with all he had written about her and the flowers he had drawn, he added a little teacup with a heart on it. It felt fitting.

 

Xisumavoid: i’m ready to head back whenever you can guide me back! I’ve got armor, weapons, and some other small stuff to bring with me. 

 

GoodtimeswithScar: wonderful to hear! Cub will be over soon to pick you up, since I can’t fly anymore today. I’m making mushroom soup for dinner!

 

Yeah. Everything was going to be alright. 

Notes:

Thank you for the patience with inconsistent chapter updates! 7 midterms and then an immediate finals week has been kicking my ass and I've barely found the energy to write even when i occasionally have free time!

Chapter 11: Don't hit the books too hard; they're fragile

Summary:

Xisuma and the gang go to the stronghold library in search of answers. They find a lot of dust.

Notes:

Sorry for such a long wait! its been a hectic year! enjoy!

Xisuma was not so sure everything was going to be alright. His palms were sweating through his new- old?- pair of gloves, and while the heavier armor was grounding him in a way the other set hadn’t, Xisuma was still getting used to the feeling of something almost like a weighted blanket on him at all times. It was comfortable, sure, but he still had to get used to it. 

 

“Used to it again. I guess.” Xisuma thought to himself. 

 

“I’m glad you found your regular armor!” Scar mentioned, snapping Xisuma out of what was nearly a mental spiral. They were waiting for the other hermits at the meeting spot for the End Dimension Trip. “It was getting kinda weird seeing you in just a shirt so often.”

 

“Wait-” Xisuma blinked. “Was that not what I normally wore? What about that other set of armor?”

 

“Oh sure you wear that light set sometimes, but this is your usual stuff. I think you said you wore the light stuff for uh ... that day … because it was better for the small space we were working in.” Scar explained, only briefly tripping over his bright demeanor.

 

“Oh.. ok.” Xisuma said, not really knowing how to respond. He looked down at himself, and held up his arms so he could see the plating of the armor strapped to his forearms. The more he moved, the more natural it felt, and the more he was feeling safer in his own skin. “I like this set.”

 

Scar smiled fondly. “I’m glad you do.”

 

They didn’t have to wait long before more people started showing up to the spot Scar had requested. They were originally going to meet above ground at the stronghold, but Scar wanted to introduce Xisuma to the new hermits for Xisuma’s sake, and decided that he himself couldn't make it that far today on the pain scale of the day. It was an easy decision to choose somewhere much closer to the Scarland entrance. 

 

Xisuma almost jumped back when a blurry figure dressed in black landed only a few feet away. They slammed into the dirt, sending some of it flying to the side, and stood up slowly with a confident grin. Instead of looking at Xisuma, the person in the long black trench coat was looking at the sky, and smiled even wider when he saw something in the sky. Xisuma looked to his gaze, and saw something shiny. It became nearly blinding as it turned, and reflected the sun right into his eyes, so he looked away from the mysterious ball of light crashing down. He would learn their names soon enough, surely. The shadows and the sun. 

 

“Beat cha!” The first person said, wearing a smug smile, as the second person landed with a heavy thud and clank. Xisuma noticed that the reflective glare was from the silver armor this second person wore, that was shined and taken care of so well it looked brand new. The small scratches all over it proved it wasn’t just actually new, and Xisuma was immediately curious about how he maintained it so well. It seemed pretty heavy too. Likely heavier than the armor he donned, and Xisuma wanted to ask what that was like too. See if he could connect with this stranger he once knew. 

 

“You live closer.” They spoke in a voice that was slightly higher than Xisuma had predicted. 

 

“I do not!” The first exclaimed. 

 

“How about we check the coords-”

 

“Oh shove off, Wels.” They laughed, “You’re so competitive!”

 

“You started it!” The other person in metal, Wels apparently , exclaimed. “You started-”

 

Scar cleared his throat loudly, getting both of their attention at once. They turned towards him with embarrassed smiles, one clearly more embarrassed than the other. 

 

“Sorry-” Wels started. 

 

“Heya Scar!” The other talked over them quickly and confidently. 

 

“Hey you two,” Scar smiled. He looked at both of them, like he expected something from them, and they both looked at him, and then at each other, and then back at him in confusion. Before either of them could ask what he wanted, Scar nodded his head towards Xisuma. 

 

“Go on. Introduce yourselves.”

 

Wels went wide, even more embarrassed about forgetting, and the other one glanced away quickly before they could make eye contact with Xisuma. 

 

Wels held out his gloved hand, and Xisuma admired the shiny metal on his forearm, so smooth it reflected his own face in a warped view. “I’m Wels. I messaged you and organized this trip. I made the route we’ll be starting off with. False, who should be here soon, is leading us through it.”

 

Xisuma shook his hand, noticing his firm handshake, and nodded once. “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll do my best to keep up.”

 

X felt a little nervous to be around such an organized group, and just hoped he could fit into this adventure and not be a burden. He wanted to learn about his old life, but not at the expense of annoying or slowing down the family he had yet to get to know. Sure, they all already knew him, but it still felt like he was meeting them all for the first time, and he wanted to make a good impression whether it mattered or not. 

 

“Wow what an office meeting this is.” The other guy rolled his eyes, hands behind his head casually. “Hey X, I'm Hypno. Let's try to make this a normal End adventure, yeah? We don’t gotta get all strict about it and stuff.”

 

“But we’re doing this for an important reason-” Wels started, before Hypno cut him off. 

 

“Being stressed isn’t gonna help that! We’re all friends here. Let's act like it.” Hypno grinned. He playfully punched Wels in the shoulder, and Xisuma could see the moment on his face when he regretted that action. Punching metal had its consequences.

 

Hypno clutched his hand to his chest, letting out a slow exhaled word. 

 

“Owwww.”

 

“Karma.” Wels muttered. 

 

“For WHAT?”

 

“For being an asshole.” He teased. 

 

“Least I’m a fun asshole, you stuck up-”

 

“Fellas fellas!” Scar stepped in again, interrupting their bickering. “Lets just think about the journey ahead hmm? You can squabble when you get back.”

 

“We weren’t-” Wels started before he was interrupted.

 

“Don’t call it that .” Hypno crossed his arms. “We aren't children.”

 

“You sure act like children.” Xisuma snickered under his breath. 

 

Everyone looked at him, and he realised he had said that a little too loudly. In the silence, Xisuma’s eyes went wide in embarrassment, and he was about to apologize. 

 

“HA!”

 

“Oh my- aHAH!”

 

“Oh Xisuma haha!”

 

Hypno wiped his eye as he cackled. And even Wels was laughing into his hand. “You were right, Scar; Same sense of humor.” Hypno clapped Xisuma on the back. “Memory or not, you’re the same X.”

 

Xisuma found himself smiling with the group, and felt a whole lot more comfortable with them both. “I’m the same X.” He repeated in his head, trying to hide how he smiled a little brighter at that one-off comment. Wels was laughing too, even if Xisuma’s joke wasn’t all that funny, just timed well, and Xisuma hoped the entire adventure was like this. Comfortable, easy going, fun. 

 

The crunch of boots in dead grass altered the group to a new person showing up, and the laughter died down as they turned their attention to see who it was. 

 

“Howdy Xisuma!” A familiar voice said. “Joe Hills here, at your service.”

 

Xisuma recognized him, and remembered his name, but appreciated the reminder nonetheless. It also assured him he was correct with the name, so he wouldn’t feel the need to dance around the topic of names if it came up. Joe was thoughtful to do that.

 

“Hey Joe,” Xisuma waved. “Are you joining us? I didn’t read the guest list.” He joked nervously. 

 

“Just for the stronghold portion.” Joe said. “Figured my skills are better towards organizing the books we already have here in the overworld; Let you guys do the exploring for today.”

 

Xisuma hummed, and took note of the box-shaped bag Joe held, which was most likely for books. It was well made and well loved, and Xisuma wanted to ask if Joe had made it himself. Maybe he’d have the chance to ask today. 

 

Before he had time to think about it further, two more people landed in quick succession, a blonde woman and a dog hybrid guy. 

 

“We aren’t late, right?” The woman asked. 

 

“We’re still waiting on several people.” Wels answered. “You’re all good.”

 

“Good good!” The guy cheered. “We had a bit of trouble finding some things, is all. Glad we’re not last!”

 

Wels looked at Xisuma, and swept his hand towards the two new hermits. 

 

“This is False,” The blonde woman tilted her head and lifted her hand slightly as a greeting. “-and Ren.” The dog hybrid man did a mock-bow, and winked at Xisuma when he stood back up. 

 

“I’m the leader for the End trip.” She introduced herself. “Its not more than a formality though, since anyone here could lead and I-”

 

“Oh Falsey! Don’t put your skills down like that!” Ren slung his arm over her shoulder. He looked at Xisuma. “She gets downplayed a lot, but don't worry, she knows her worth deep down. She's one of our strongest fighters here on the server, so we're here to slap her into the front of the group and take down any foes we might face.”

 

“There aren't that many-” She started to counter. “Don’t listen to him, X, the end isn't that dangerous, I’m the leader as really just more of a formality."

 

“Nice to meet you both.” Xisuma smiled, already fond of the two. “I’m sure you’re the perfect person to lead us.”

 

“See? X-y gets it.” Ren grinned confidently.  

 

Conversation seemed to glide easily with everyone present, and with details about the trip being saved for when everyone going was together, they had some time to talk about old and new projects and plans. Xisuma didn’t have much to say or add, but he enjoyed listening to what everyone was doing. Eyes wide with awe, he was taken aback by everything these hermits were planning to accomplish, especially with how casually they were mentioned. It sounded like he used to be friends with gods . Wait- no. Still was friends with gods . With incredible people who did awe inspiring things each and everyday. Even without talking much, Xisuma felt included, and he could only feel lucky that in this scary situation, he was surrounded by safe and kind people. 

 

Caught up in their conversation, Xisuma didn't even notice two more hermits joining the party until he was being half startled as they walked into his field of vision, and he had to stop himself from physically jumping. 

“Hey Shish- hey Xisuma!” A familiar face greeted him. 

 

Xisuma froze. 

 

He forgot this hermit's name again. 

 

“Ah- hello there!” Xisuma said, trying to figure how to phrase the question in the least awkward way possible. “I’m uh- I’m sorry- uh…” Xisuma looked at this hermit, with a bright expression, and he chickened out. Clearing his throat, he started over. “Are you joining us on the adventure to the End?” He asked instead, his voice going a little high.

 

“No, no sweetface, just the stronghold for me and my princess today.”

 

The confusion clearly showed on his face, because they answered his question before he asked it. 

 

“xB is my princess, just a little nickname I have for him to make life silly.”

 

“Ah, that's cute.” Xisuma smiled softly. 

 

“I have nicknames for all my family, though some I use more than others.” They said, “But I won't confuse you too much until you know everyone's real names, yeah?” They smiled at him. And Xisuma wanted to cry. 

 

“Ah uh-” Xisuma’s throat felt tight. “Thank you. For that. Uh- real quick, I just remembered I need to talk to Scar about something before he leaves, so uhm, excuse me one moment.” Xisuma spit out, backing away.

 

The poor hermit looked mildly confused as Xisuma turned and tried to walk away at a casual pace. Xisuma racked his brain for their name, for the moment he met them the first time and they introduced themselves to him, and while he remembered the moment– people rushing in the door. Cleo crying and rambling. Pearl coming in with this hermit, them calling Xisuma the wrong name, “Don’t hurt your pretty head, sweetface.” The person said. They wiped some more tears away sloppily, and Xisuma felt awful. “It's no- not your fault. My name is —” the room had been crowded, and loud, and Scar had talked to him white everyone was arguing. – Xisuma couldn’t pinpoint the sounds this stranger said. He couldn’t remember their name. 

“Scar. Help.”

 

“What- what's wrong?” Scar asked quickly, leaning forwards and putting more weight on his cane.

 

“Oh- Uh-....nothings-” Xisuma realised how panicked he sounded, and willed himself to calm down so he wouldn’t make Scar freak out. “Nothing’s actually wrong- sorry I didn't mean to scare you…”

 

“No no it's okay.” Scar laughed, putting his hand to his chest as he took his own deep breath. “Okay that's good.”

 

“Sorry.” Xisuma repeated. 

 

Scar smiled softly, shaking his head to dismiss the apology. “What happened? What do you need help with?”

 

Xisuma bit his lip, and looked at the ground in guilt. “I-” he paused, and frowned. His voice got quieter. “I forgot his name. Again.”

 

“Whose name?”

 

“The one over there. Who called me a nickname a few times.”

 

Scar looked where Xisuma had nodded, and saw the hermit in question. “He won’t be offended. It's not your fault. Just ask him again.” Scar said reassuringly.

 

“Can't you just tell me?” Xisuma whispered, pleading. “Just tell me what his name is- surely you know it!” 

 

Scar smiled sadly. “I know it's difficult, but you should be the one to do it.”

 

Scar elbowed Xisuma slightly, trying to push him towards the group. Xisuma took half a step forward. Scar frowned. 

 

“He’s not gonna hate you.”

 

“ I hate me.” Xisuma mumbled. 

 

He didn’t mumble it quietly enough, and Scar sucked in a sharp breath. Xisuma winced. He hadn’t meant for Scar to hear that.

 

“X…”

 

“I can’t even blame this on the amnesia.” Xisuma turned back to Scar to explain himself. “I can’t- I haven’t forgotten your name, or Stress, or Cub, or Grian- so why can’t I remember his ?”

 

“It's not your fault.” Scar said again. “These past few days have been stressful, and it's a lot for you to take in.”

 

“He had a nickname for me.”

 

Xisuma bit his lip, taking a slow breath to calm down. “He had a-...” He looked away from Scar, the guilt making it difficult to maintain eye contact. “We were close , weren’t we?”

 

Scar's slow exhale answered his question enough. Xisuma couldn’t look him in the eyes as he felt the overwhelming guilt of forgetting someone so close to him. At least with everyone else, he could ease his guilt by blaming his absence of knowledge on the potion that has caused it all. But with people he had already met since then? Well, he could only blame himself. 

 

“Go ask him for his name. He could never hate you.” Scar encouraged softly after a moment. 

 

“We were really close, weren’t we…” Xisuma almost cried. 

 

“You can be close again.” Scar said. “But you gotta know his name to do that.”

 

“Ok.” Xisuma mumbled, breathing slowly to calm down again. “I’ll ask.”

 

---

 

Xisuma took a long breath, repeating the words in his head over and over. He knew the exact script of what he wanted to say, the phrasing, the tone, everything. But the words weren’t coming out. 

 

“Uh- hi again.” He said, sounding stiff and cringing in on himself a little. 

 

“Yes, Sweetface?”

 

“I’m sorry, but I forgot your name again.” Xisuma blurted. “I’m sorry. I-” he took a shaky breath in. “I'm sorry.”

 

“It’s Keralis.”

 

“Keralis.” Xisuma repeated, hoping that by saying it himself, it would stick in his mind. It had to .

 

“Mhm, Keralis.” Keralis nodded, giving Xisuma a sad smile. 

 

“Thank you, sorry.”

 

“Nothing to apologize for, Sweetface.”

 

“But you told me it already.”

 

“And I will tell you it again, as many times as you need.” Keralis said so surely, Xisuma believed him. 

 

“Thank you.” Xisuma whispered. 

 

Xisuma was gonna write it down in his book as soon as he got home. He was going to remember it this time. He had to. 

 

---

 

“GAH! Sorry I'm late!” Someone was running to the group, waving frantically. “Don’t leave- don’t leave without me!”

 

“No worries Pearl; We would have texted ya before we flew off!” Ren chuckled. 

 

“Glad I made it here in time.” She panted. “Woo-... hold on, give me a moment!”

 

“Take all the time you need.”

 

“There was just this- and then another- gah running out of rockets is a pain!”

 

“Oh you’re out? Need us to spot a few?” False asked. 

 

“I have plenty in my enderchest; Just forgot to bring my spare one on the rush out! Anyone uh…”

 

“Yeah yeah, got you.” Ren butted in, placing his enderchest for her to use. 

 

Xisuma stared at it, almost mesmerized again. Nothing in there was a mystery anymore. He remembered everything he had found in preparation for this trip, and with the memory, the comfort of his armor felt more secured to him. He had left the book on his table in Scarland, because he wasn't sure he’d get another chance to open an enderchest for a while, but maybe if everyone had one so casually, he could ask for a spare too. 

 

Pearl had gotten her rockets, and the group had come to the conclusion that they were ready to go. Xisuma, afraid of getting in the way, stayed quiet while everyone else looked at the map, looking at their communicators, and started pointing in directions. He was sure they’d tell him to follow in a minute or so. It was nice to leave decision making to everyone else. 

“Hey Scar, we’re about to head out. Are you good to get back home yourself?” Wels asked. “You know there's no shame in asking for help when you need it.”

 

Scar chuckled. “I know, I know. But I feel good enough to get back on my own.” He said with a charming smile. “Just focus on your mission, and take care of Xisuma for me today.”

 

Wels gave a sharp nod. “Will do.”

 

---

 

“It's just practice,” Xisuma told himself, adjusting his elytra as the others double checked the map and the direction they were in. He had tried to find an area naturally a block off the ground, like the workings of a stage or a mound of grass he could jump off from, but in the middle of- well, wherever they were, he found nothing close enough to be casually close enough. He was trying to be discreet with it. And trying to tamper down the anxiety that came with so many voices and instructions and people in one place. Being so social was practice too. 

 

Wels had told him to get ready to fly, and count the rockets he had, since it would be easier to get more now than landing to borrow more later. The End wasn’t far, but inexperienced with flying tended to use up more. 

 

“Alright gang! We’re off to the stronghold. Coords were sent in chat if you get off course, but let's just try to stick close to False’s lead and we’ll be fine.” Wels announced. 

 

“It's just a fly, I'm sure everyone can get there easily.” False chuckled, waving off the slightly leadership role Wels was giving her for this. 

 

“Eh it's good to stick together a bit.” Wels said. “I’ll hold up the back end. I’m a bit slower anyways. ” 

 

False nodded. “See you there.”

 

She took off with ease, and one by one, the other hermits followed. X started to scramble, getting onto his pre-placed block and lining up the rocket in his hand the right way. It didn't feel as smooth and effortless as everyone else’s setup, but it was what worked for him. 

 

A spark and a sizzle, and he spread his wings at the right moment to catch the air before his face planted into the grass. More sparks in rapid succession, and he was gliding fast enough where he could swoop up without hitting his feet and ruining his momentum. And then he could aim, and try to catch up with the group. 

 

Xisuma was flying, and he never wanted to fall. He never wanted to land. 

 

---

 

The stronghold wasn’t as spectacular as Xisuma was expecting. The entrance had been an obnoxiously long staircase down that he hit his head on more times than he cared to admit, and when the others ahead had exclaimed that they made it, Xisuma was expecting it to be a little more…. Grand. 

 

Tiles stone walls, iron doors, low ceilings and some pathways leading nowhere- it was pretty ugly all things considered. He opened a chest on a rudimentary pedestal, only to find some loose string, coal, and a bone. Not much treasure down here, unless it had already been picked through. 

 

“Ah I found a gapple in that chest last time I visited.” xB mentioned with a smile. “You were there, got so mad that I found the only gapple when it was the only chest I opened.”

 

“Oh! What's a gapple?” Xisuma asked with a smile, happy someone was talking about his old self so casually. 

 

They were good at hiding it, but Xisuma saw the hint of a wince in the twitch of their eye. “Ah its uh- its a god-apple. We tend to shorten the name for fun.” He chuckled. “But they give a temporary health boost so they’re pretty valuable. Golden apples are good but common, and god-apples are super rare.”

 

“What's the difference?”

 

“God apples can heal a lot more, a lot faster, and can give a lot of positive boosts like potions sou- or uh. Yeah like other things do.” xB stuttered. 

 

Xisuma didn't miss the slip up, but didn’t mention it. He furrowed his eyebrows, thinking on the past days and the solutions they’d tried so far. Everyone was arguing around them, looking around for the direction to go in, while X and xB stood by the chest in the hallway closest to the staircase they had descended from. 

 

“Could one of those heal me? Those gapples?”

 

xB blinked. He was silent for a moment, clearly in mild shock. 

 

“Or is that not-” Xisuma started to backtrack, nervous he had said something wrong. 

 

“Even without a memory, you’re the smartest one here!” xB laughed, shaking his head and grinning. “That's a wonderful idea. I’m not sure if I still have the gapple in my base, but right after this trip, I'll make a stop there and check. If I don't find it, we’ll ask the group chat so see if anyone has one.”

 

“Oh- how rare are they?” Xisuma asked. “I wouldn’t want anyone to waste-”

 

“I’ll tell False and Ker about this when I can get them alone.” xB said, not hearing Xisuma properly. “I can’t really talk in big groups, but they both can, and they might know if anyone has one.” He turned to Xisuma, with a sincere smile on his face. “It might not be the solution, so don't hope too much, but it's worth a shot, right?”

 

“Yeah.” Xisuma mumbled. xB was so earnest in his voice, and Xisuma didn’t have the heart to ask if he was even worth something called a god -apple. He would keep the doubts to himself. “I guess it is.”

“Arguing is getting us nowhere.” False said a bit ahead of them. Xisuma and xB perked up, starting to pay attention to the rest of the group. “Everyone buddy up and split up, and yell or type in chat when you find the library. Please don't die before we can set up a bed.”

 

The group nodded, and split up into two groups at the first intersection, most hermits either elbowing someone to be their partner or counting to make sure their group had an even number of people in case they needed to split up more. 

 

False, Pearl, Keralis, and Joe went right, and Hypno, Xisuma, Ren, xB, and Wels went left. 

 

The tunnels forward were darker as they got deeper into the stronghold. Wels pulled out a torch and took the lead of the group, and while 3 people could comfortably walk next to each other with the width of the tunnels, with Wels taking the front, it was easy to fall into two lines behind him. 

“It’s a bit musty down here,” Ren said. “Kinda grosser than I remember.”

 

“What’d you expect?” Wels chuckled. “It's underground.”

 

“I just thought someone took better care of it this season... hmm or maybe that was last season?” Ren thought aloud. “I always get these things mixed up you know you know.”

 

“Eh, who can remember?” xB mentioned next to Ren. 

 

“Not me.” Xisuma mumbled. He winced as soon as it left his mouth, hoping no one else heard him, and after a moment of silence, he was startled by a clap on his back. 

 

“HA! Xisuma you are too funny!” Hypno cackled. The hand on Xisuma's shoulder stayed there, and it was weirdly comforting. Even if he had hit a bit hard and very unexpectedly, Xisuma didn't want him to let go as they kept moving forwards. 

 

“Don’t get too used to self deprecating jokes, X.” xB said. “But I do have to admit, that was a little funny.” He chuckled. 

 

“Ah, another intersection.” Wels said. “Ren, Xisuma, you go that way, we’ll go right.”

 

“Cause we’re always right?” Hypno elbowed Joe.

“Becasue I see another intersection ahead and we’ll have to split up as the bigger group.” Wels deadpanned. 

 

Xisuma skipped a step to catch up to Ren who had already started walking down the left tunnel. It was nice that he wasn't being treated like a lost child who always needed an eye on him, but he also didn't want to become that lost child either. 

 

“So what exactly are we looking for? I thought we were just looking for the stronghold, and we’re here aren't we?”

 

“Well, sorta dude! We’re tryna find the library around here. Someone forgot the map of this one, so we’re gonna be aimless until someone screams they’ve found it.” Ren explained. “No one really visits the library so we never have premade paths for it.”

 

“OVER HERE GUYS!” A voice yelled from some corner of the hallway in front of them. 

 

“Ah, right on cue.” Ren grinned, and Xisuma chuckled. 

 

“Congratulations pearly Pearl for getting here first.” Ren said as they caught up to the voice where everyone was gathered. 

 

“Ah it was no biggie,” She smiled. “Just running loops around here till I got lucky.”

 

Xisuma’s eyes looked up as he entered the room. He vaguely heard Ren telling her not to sell herself short on her magnificent searching skills, and heard more hermits filing in the room behind him, but all he could focus on was the fine detail of the architecture of the cobweb ridden room. There were chandeliers on the ceiling absolutely caked in dust with intricate patterns between the support bars, and wooden engravings on the shelves that seemed in good shape for the age that the library seemed to be. With a bit of TLC, Xisuma could see how beautiful this place could be again. 

 

“I think everyone's here now.” Wels said behind Xisuma somewhere in the crowd. Xisuma's attention snapped back to the group, and he saw Wels looking at False for direction. 

 

She looked at Joe. “If you’d do the honors?” She offered, and he smiled brightly. 

 

“Alrightly! The first part of this adventure might be less glorious than exploring the end, but no less important!” Joe said confidently. “As much as we’re hoping your trip gets us results, we also have a lot of other sources of information at our disposal to find a cure for our admin. And as these books are filled with a whole lot of ancient knowledge, it's a good place to start looking for answers! Any books that relate to potions, soups, curses, spells, amnesia, or code should be scanned through for relevance and put in a pile near this entrance here. Ones that look especially helpful should go on the left side of the door, and others on the right.”

 

Xisuma was a little surprised Joe had said so much without stuttering, and had mentioned the problem directly without wincing like everyone else had around the topic. 

 

There was a chorus of agreement, and then the hermits all split up to search the library. 

 

---

 

Xisuma wanted to stay closer to the group, in case there were mobs deeper in the library or around corners he couldn't fight off on his own, so he went to the first shelf he saw and started scanning the bookshelves for any sort of organization. 

 

“Ah, I'm afraid they're alphabetical. The organization here is… subpar compared to more modern techniques." Joe said. 

 

“Oh.. so we have to read each title of each book?”

 

Joe chuckled. “Thats why we brought so much help. If only a few of us were doing this, we’d lose our minds pretty quickly.”

 

“Suddenly this library doesn't feel so small.”

 

Joe chuckled. “When you finish a row, tag it with a torch or a block so we can keep track of what lines have been looked through. It’ll help keep you sane too, makes it feel like progress over time.”

 

Xisuma hummed in acknowledgment, and then titled his head to start reading the titles. His eyes squinted when he saw a faint engraving on the wood of the shelf. The symbol didn’t look like English or any other common language, but he recognized it anyway somehow. It was a B, so the alphabetical system Joe mentioned made more sense. 

 

Bad things in the night: a survival guide.

 

It was the first book in the lineup. Xisuma scanned ahead to a book with the brightest cover, a dull burnt orange color. Some part of him hoped the perfect book was going to be the most obvious one and easiest to spot on the shelf, and some part of himself called to look at that one before going perfectly in order. He hoped that the right book would just speak to him , like the cure wanted him to find it.

 

Berries and how to tame Foxes.

 

Ok. Maybe this wasn’t going to be magically easy for him. This was going to take a while.

---

“Here Sh- Xisuma.” The big eyed hermit said, standing on a block and grabbing the book Xisuma was reaching for on his tippy toes. 

 

“Oh, thanks!” Xisuma smiled. It took him a second to remember the man as Keralis, and when he figured it out, he mentally slapped himself for forgetting again! This hermit had talked to him several times already, how could it be so hard to just remember a name!! He didn’t let his frustration show as he took the book from Keralis and smiled just a little wider, hoping it showed in his eyes through his visor. Keralis kept looking at the books higher up as Xisuma read the title. 

 

Soups, saturation, and secrets of nutrition

 

He added it to the stack in his hand, and looked at Keralis, who was still browsing the top shelf from his vantage block. 

 

“Any other good ones up there?” Xisuma asked, “This was the only one I could read the spine of.”

 

“Hmmmm, it doesn't look like it, sweetface- Xisuma .” He hummed. “Many sea creature titles in his section.”

 

Xisuma perked up, and while he knew the mission was to find relevant books for his circumstance, he still wanted to see if he could take a personal book or two home to read during his downtime. 

 

“Those still sound like interesting reads.” Xisuma smiled. “Any about turtles? Or axolotls? I read about something that mentioned those yesterday!”

 

Keralis blinked at him with those wide eyes, and Xisuma immediately felt like he had said the wrong thing. 

 

“U-uh-” Keralis stammered. He immediately directed his gaze to the bookshelf, shutting his mouth and reading the titles. 

 

“Sea creatures might have general information?” Keralis said, grabbing a thick book and quickly handing it to XIsuma, who struggled to balance it so quickly. “But uh nothing else… Xisuma.” He swallowed. “Ohp! I hear xB calling me! I better head over and see what the princess needs. Bye!” He jumped off his block, and rushed away in a way that left Xisuma confused and a little disappointed. Even still, he had a job to do, so he tried to ignore the bad feeling swirling in his chest as he scanned through the titles of more books. The organization of them was atrocious. 

 

“-it's just so weird.. To hear him say that.”  A voice said from behind a bookshelf. Aussie accent. Pearl’s voice, then.

 

Xisuma heard muffled conversation from the other side of the bookshelf. He felt bad eavesdropping, but well, if they were talking loud enough for him to hear, that was on them. 

 

“I know. I don’t think Keralis has called him by his full name since like- ever?” Another voice said. “Well maybe in early seasons. But I can’t remember it.” Xisuma quickly recognized it as Ren. 

 

“I know Joe made the nickname first, on accident, and then Keralis made it stick, but I haven't heard his real name like that in forever.” False whispered better than the other two, but Xisuma was able to pick it out now that he knew to pay attention.

 

“It's….. wrong. It feels wrong.” Pearl said. “He shouldn’t have to go through this. Neither of them. None of us.”

 

“Yeah. But we’ll make it right, yeah?” False said, hopeful.

 

“Hopefully. I can’t say I'm too hopeful about these dusty books, but maybe the End has some secret. We don’t explore it more than for elytra’s anyhow, so there's gotta be something we usually miss, dudes.”

 

“I hope so.” Pearl finished. 

 

---

 

Xisuma had been tempted by the balconies, even if it was just so he could get a better view of the library. He put the two books he had found on this shelf in the piles, and waved to Pearl who was sorting the books into categories of relevance and topic with a system Xisuma didn't understand. 

 

He climbed up the ladder, freezing when the wood creaked under his weight. Nothing snapped, so he steadily kept going up until he could climb onto the platform. The wood, however old this place was, held up fine with a little more than creaking under his feet. He didn't want to put all his faith in the integrity of the wood railing, so he rested his arms on it without leaning his weight forward. From this place, he could see the entire library and all the hermits walking around in it. It wasn’t really a big library, but it still had hundreds of books at least, and the hermits were thorough with their search. He felt a fondness for their kindness, and hoped that their efforts were not in vain. He wanted to remember the names of the people who showed such love towards him, without having to ask for them repeatedly. 

 

He sighed, and stepped away from the railing to look at the bookshelf behind him, walking down the line to read the titles of the books. If there were cures to be found so he could be what he once was, he wasn’t going to sit back and let the others do the work for him. 

 

---

 

“Yoooo…. I’m not late, am I?” A voice Xisuma didn't recognize was on the other side of the bookcase, talking to Pearl and Joe.

 

“Not at all!” Pearl said, waving to the stranger. 

 

“The others are spread out through the library.” Joe said. “A few went to scope out the end room and get it prepared.”

 

“Gotta get rid of the lava and stuff.”

 

“Ah that's nice. It's always so hot in that room. I usually rush through it so I don’t melt before I get there.” They joked, clear in their tone. The others chuckled. 

 

“You’re actually a bit early.” Joe mentioned. “I’d say we could use an extra hand, but I assume not today?”

 

“Unless you wanna wash the covers of these very fragile books. Or you enchanted them already to avoid that.”

 

Xisuma didn’t understand what they were talking about at all.

 

“Need an enchanting table for that, I'm afraid.” Pearl said. “And we didn’t think to bring one… for some reason.”

 

“I’ll be more helpful in the End I think, anyways. I’ll light up the stronghold, while I wait for you guys to finish up. I had to kill two skeleys on the way here, so with some time to spare…”

 

“Ah alright, we’ll be done soon I think. Pearl and I are just counting the books we have first.”

 

Xisuma was holding a few books, so with the information he overheard, he decided to step around the bookshelf and finally introduce himself to the stranger that already knew him.

 

“Uhm, hi?” Xisuma stepped out from behind the bookshelf. “I’m sorry, I couldn't help but overhear- and uh, I also have these last few books-”

 

“- ah perfect, thanks Xisuma.” Joe said, stepping in to take the books from Xisuma.

 

Xisuma looked at the stranger, a blue slime hybrid in a white hoodie. “If it's not impolite to ask, why can’t you help with the books?”

 

“Ah yeah I guess it's only obvious if ya-” The stranger shook their head. “Hey X, my name's Jevin.” He held out his hand, and Xisuma immediately felt guilty for not asking this person their name before such a personal question! He rushed to put out his hand to correct for his rudeness. Jevin only chuckled, and after a handshake, he pulled away. But his hand didn’t fully pull away, even as Xisuma let go too. 

 

“That's why I can't touch books today, I'm afraid.” Jevin said. “Its usually not too much of a problem, but the past few days… well lets just say I gotta think about sticking myself together a little harder.” He put his arm towards where Xisuma's hand was still limply in the air, connected by a string of slime to Jevin’s body, and stuck his whole hand around Xisumas. It was a weird feeling, but the gloves dulled the sensation to just feeling a little wet and cold. Jevin pulled back more slowly, and all of the slime left with him this time. Jevin wiggled his fingers to prove he was free, and Xisuma didn't really know how to react. 

 

“Thats so cool.” He mumbled without thinking. “Uhm I mean! Ah sorry- I don’t mean to be so rude today.”

 

“Nah man you’re good you’re good!” Jevin chuckled, smiling a little wider. “Not often I get compliments on that party trick anyways. People are usually kinda grossed out.”

 

Xisuma didn't have the words to argue with that statement, but he thought nothing but amazement and wonder for the ability to control one's fluidity like that. He wanted to ask more questions about it, but bit his tongue in fear of coming off as rude again, so he stayed silent. 

 

“Anyways uh-” Jevin said, bridging the gap of silence. “I better go help them prepare the stronghold, since I'm not much help here. Might block off the tunnels a bit and light them up more.

 

“Ah yeah right. I’ll get back to books then.” Xisuma said nervously. 

 

“I'll see you in a few when we take off. Good luck with books man. Don't hit them too hard. I heard they're fragile.” Jevin chuckled, and Xisma did too at the little joke. 

---

 

“Ok ya’ll, I think we have enough here.” Joe announced loudly from the balcony he had climbed up to to get the last of his pile of books

 

“But we haven't gone through the whole library yet?” Ren asked, tiling his head out from behind a bookshelf. 

 

“We have plenty for now.” Joe said. “And I don't think we can carry more than this, even with shulkers and a somewhat clean enderchest. Once we get all of these sorted and handed out, we can make another trip, but it's enough for today.”

 

Hermits started to stop where they were searching, bringing back the few books they already had in their arms to the piles in the front of the library. 

 

“Plus I'd hate to delay your End trip any longer.” Joe said cheerily. “Dont want to wear you out too much before that! And I'm sure Xisuma is excited to see the new dimension.”

 

Xisuma hadn’t even thought about that yet, but now that Joe had brought it up, he started to perk up at the thought. He didn’t respond quick enough, so Joe just smiled and hummed at him before turning toward the rest of the group. 

 

Joe found Keralis and Pearl in the crowd. We might have to make two trips, but if we plan this carefully, it hopefully won't be more than that. We’ll let the rest of you go on with your plans, we got it from here.”

 

Wels nodded at once, before waving the rest of the group traveling to the end down a hallway. Xisuma made eye contact with the party staying behind, and waved a silent goodbye before skipping a step to catch up to his party leaving. 

 

 Xisuma hadn’t explored any more of the stronghold than the chests on their way to the library, and didn’t really know what to expect when the group finally stopped moving in a room with metal bars around the entrance. A wide staircase led to something that was higher than Xisuma could see, and the sides of the room were lined with uneven chests and furnaces that Xisuma guessed were not organically there. 

 

“Alright! Everyone get yourselves ready, food, armor, respawn, water, blocks, tools,” False listed. “And then we’ll all jump through together.”

 

There was a collective agreement, and then each hermit did their own things to prepare. Xisuma, who had been prepared this entire time from Scar’s help the day before, didn’t really know what to do other than looking around the room to feel busy. He double checked the inventory, checked his armor and tools, and then, seeing as this was a small room that was already fairly crowded with everyone in it, walked up the short flight of stairs in the center of the room to make space for people walking around.

 

Oh. 

 

Wow. 

 

So this was the End dimension portal then. 

 

It felt royal with its inlaid orbs on the frame of the portal that each resembled a cat's eye. The frame had intricate green designs running along the sides and was gorgeous on its own, but the beauty of the matter that created the portal was something indescribable. It was almost mesmerising, the way the stars moved with his gaze in a way nothing else in this dimension did. It looked like he could reach out and scoop the stars into his hands as if the pinpricks of light floated in inky water he could swim in. 

 

He wanted to touch it, but was afraid that would be breaking some unspoken rule. False said they would all go in together, so he pulled back from his trance to avoid the temptation that itched at his skin. A few more minutes of staring, and he might fall in without realizing it. 

 

He went over the list of instructions False had said again, and his mind caught on one word he couldn't account for on his person. 

 

Respawn. 

 

He looked in the corners of the room, near the door, behind him, and finally noticed the matching beds on either side. 

 

So that was what those were for. He couldn't remember ever using them, but he knew somehow that those beds were tied to the life after death of this world. 

 

He climbed down from the staircase, trying not to trip on the weird gap in the middle at the top, and went over to the beds. He just had to touch it. Right? Or lay down or something? A memory of using one would have been helpful in this moment.

 

“Wait- WAIT!” Wels reached towards Xisuma in a hurry to stop his movement, and froze when Xisuma pulled back and looked at him. Xisuma looked confused and a little hurt, and Wels winced with guilt for raising his voice. 

 

“Sorry- sorry.” Wels said, lowering his arm awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to yell. Just-....don’t touch the bed.”

 

Xisuma looked even more confused. “Why?”

 

He and False glanced at each other, a silent conversation, and then both looked at Xisuma. Xisuma looked between them both. “What-... what's wrong?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong.” False said quickly. 

 

“Just-” Wels started, then paused to figure out how to phrase it. “We just thought- I mean-.. As a group we decided… we figured… uh. The bed is-”

 

False sighed at Wels pathetic attempt to explain their intentions, and took over the conversation. “We don’t want you to respawn here if you die in the End.”

 

Xisuma still looked confused, so she continued. “If you die, and we’re far out, it’ll be a while before anyone can get back here from either the End or the Overworld, and you’ll be stuck in this stronghold for a while. I know it's been peaceful so far, but strongholds can be dangerous, especially alone, and we’d rather you spawn back in Scarland.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Listen Xisuma,” Wels awkwardly rubbed his neck. “It's not that we think you’re- we know you can take care of yourself and you don’t need a babysitter or anything- it's just…. Safer.”

 

“No no I get it,” Xisuma said quickly. “I get it.”

 

“Oh- ok.” Wels tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. “Great! I’m glad! We just want this to go smoothly- and not that uh! Not that you’re stopping that or anything!! We just- well dying isn’t fun and-”

 

“Wels. Stop.” False said. 

 

“It's okay, I get it.” Xisuma chuckled nervously. “I wouldn’t want to get stuck here without a map back home or a way to find you guys again, or slow you down trying to meet up again.”

 

It felt like the whole room silently winced at his phrasing. 

 

“It's not a judgement of you or anything like that.” False said. “We just care about you, and we know this a lot already. If you die, it's a hard thing to go through. It's better if you can be somewhere safe after it.”

 

Xisuma tried to quell his mounting guilt, and really listen to the words False was saying. It made sense, and she was good at phrasing it. He didn’t know what to say other than repeating himself, so he just nodded, and the silence after it was a little painful. 

 

“Well let's get the show on the road.” Jevin said, and the collective relief at the interruption of the silence was palpable. 

 

Everyone gathered around the portal, and Wels checked over each person to make sure they were ready. When Wels’s eyes landed on Xisuma, Xisuma tried to encentuate confidence through his nodding. He failed. 

 

The portal was still mesmerizing as they all gathered around to jump in. Xisuma didn’t understand why Scar and Cub had described the End as empty, when the portal was filled with stars endlessly right in front of him. He was sure he could stare at this for hours, counting every light in sight just for the fun of it. It was beautiful. 

 

“Ready?” False asked.

 

“Ready!”

 

“Ready.”

 

“Yep yep!”

 

“All set dudes!”

 

Xisuma was the last to speak, too caught up in the sight that was the portal. When the words finally processed in his mind, he breathed an answer just loud enough to be understood. 

 

“...yeah.”

 

The history books of Hermitcraft will say he valiantly leapt from the frame of the portal with his friends, in search of density and knowledge. That with determination, the hermits wouldn’t be stopped by anything, and this graceful step was the first of many to come on their adventure. As a surprise to no one, Joe was the author of these books. 

 

Xisuma wasn’t the first to move, but he swallowed his nerves when the first hermit leaped, and moved forwards to follow bravely. He was about to step into the past, into the dimension of his homeland, into an adventure that could lead to the cure they’d been searching for for all the time he could remember. It was an important moment. 

He tripped. 

Notes:

Stress is in the book since i wrote most of the last chapter before all the events of the situation, and it would genuinely be very hard to write her out of it so while i won't be writing her any more, you still might see her a bit in future chapters. Sorry about this, I just really wanna finish this book without so much writers block again and rewriting it all would be too hard for me.