four idiots get a haircut

by cavalchr

Summary:

Literally the title. Colors argue about hair, then proceed to take THREE CHAPTERS LONGER THAN PLANNED TO GET A HAIRCUT.

Notes:

Disclaimer I don't know how hair works :D

Chapter 1: Chapter One

Summary:

The idiots argue about getting a haircut.

 

the more I re read this the more I dislike it but you know whatever

“It’s getting a bit long, isn’t it though?” Green argues, no small amount of anxiety in his voice. “I feel like it’s too long. It’s past our shoulders. That guy called us a she.”

 

He’s been trying to bring this up for hours now, and the other colors were getting a teensy bit riled. Four has almost tripped like, six times because of the constant arguing. If it weren’t for the quite literal inner turmoil going on in their head, then maybe they’d be able to appreciate the beauty of the nature around them. Golden sunshine highlights the brilliant shades of orange and red in the Akkala region of Wild’s Hyrule. The sky is a pretty—

 

“We look like a girl,” Green frets.

 

“I think it looks nice!” says Blue. She and Green’s debate about the body’s hair length was starting to escalate into more of an argument than a civil discussion, and Red was getting antsy.

 

“Stop arguing!” He cries, and Vio can hear the tears in his eyes. He has to physically stop said tears from appearing on Four’s face, and tilts the head down to stare at the leaves crunching beneath their feet. Focuses on putting one foot in front of the other. Keep a steady pace and don’t trip—

 

“Shut it, Red!” Blue hisses, her voice rising in volume. Vio supresses a wince. “You’re on his side.” Vio can feel the glare in her voice. “I don’t see a problem with it, personally.”

 

”But it’s feminine!” Green whines.

 

“So?”

 

“You identify as a girl, Blue,” Green points out, “You don’t get it.”

 

A spike of rage rises in the body, and Vio keeps a scowl off the face.

 

“I don’t get it?” Blue asks. “I don’t get it? You don’t get it! I’m letting you and Red get the fucking surgery soon and you already changed our pronouns so you could feel comfortable! You should at least, oh, I don’t know— Let me have this for myself? Because it’s how I want to look?” She’s shouting now, and Red whimpers.

 

“Guys—” he starts.

 

“SHUT IT RED.”

 

Vio internally sighs. He didn’t care really, but the conflict with Green and Red versus Blue over gender of all things had been nonstop for years. He hadn’t taken a side when Green and Red had been trying to convince Blue to let them get top surgery. He hadn’t taken a side when they’d been debating what pronoun to formally introduce themselves with.

 

He’s jolted back into the conversation when Green says, “Hey, Vio? Back me up here. Isn’t the hair getting too long?”

 

That gets Blue going again, “See? You all are teaming up on me! Again! It’s always three against Blue! When was the last time I got to choose for the rest of you?”

 

“Don’t bring me into this—” Vio starts. Wind gives them an odd look, and he clamps the mouth shut. Clears the throat.

 

“Sorry,” Four says, “I uh—” Wind raises an eyebrow at their lack of an excuse, but shrugs, smiles, and turns back to its conversation with Hyrule.

 

Gods, they were this bad? They must be, if the chain were able to brush off the talking-to-themselves thing. Like they were used to it.

 

“Don’t bring me into this,” Vio states, mentally this time. “I’m possibly the worst of us to ask about gender.”

 

Red hums a bit, “I’d say Four as a whole is the worst, actually. Four different opinions.” Vio snorts.

 

“She doesn’t care!” roars Blue. Vio doesn’t even blink at the pronoun choice. It’s not as if she had a preference anyway. “I don’t get why you guys feel so strongly about this.”

 

“To be fair—” Vio says, at the same time Red starts with, “Well—”

 

But Blue cuts them both off.

 

“Well, I do, actually. But—”

 

Green, as Vio could predict, opens his mouth to respond with his own retort. He doesn’t get very far, though, before—

 

“To be fair,” Vio interrupts, “Hair shouldn’t be gendered. Just like with clothes.”

 

That shuts all of them up. Well, other than a soft “oh,” from Blue and Green.

 

Red is the first to speak up, with a timid “Vio’s right.” He raises his voice so the others can hear, “I wear dresses all the time. Dot wears a suit sometimes, but she’s a girl.” He pauses for a moment before saying, with more confidence, “Wild has long hair, and he’s a boy a lot of the time.”

 

The flame in the body’s chest dies a bit as the other two deflate.

 

“We were planned for a haircut, before this journey started,” Green says, trying to pull Blue to his side even more. “That was, what? Five months ago? We have grown it out a bit more than planned.”

 

Blue sighs, “Shit. I’m being dicky again, Vi’s right. I don’t even really care that much, honestly. It’s been just a fuckin’ crazy week.”

 

Red lights up, “Does that mean—”

 

“Yea, you can cut the gods damn hair. Whatever,” she pauses before admitting, “It looks cool when it’s short. Curlier. And poofier, or whatever. Shit, Vio, don’t give me that look—”

 

Vio laughs softly. “That was a whole lot of drama over nothing, then?”

 

“I’m sorry, Blue,” Green says. “We should listen to you more often and, ugh—” he sighs, “I’m sorry you have to deal with people, uh, calling us a boy.”

 

The shoulders shrug the slightest bit as Blue says, “No one really calls us a boy. The gender in this chain is too crazy. Most of them just say ‘person’, and whenever Time says ‘Boys’ is more gender neutral than anything.”

 

Then, “You know I’m perfectly fine with ‘They,’ right? And sorry for uhm, being an ass."

 

“Yes,” Green says, over Red’s sing-songy “Then why’d you make a big deal out of it?” He grins and adds "Apology accepted, but you owe me a hug."

 

Blue curses playfully, before she shrugs again, “Like I said, shitty week. Needed to piss someone off.”

 

Green sighs dramatically, “And of course, you chose me.”

 

"What can I say? You're such an easy target."

 

They all dissolve into giggles, and Vio is finally able to focus his attention on walking in a straight goddamn line.

 

Blue snickers, all playful with the last traces of anger fading quickly, “Straight is the worst word to describe you.”

 

“Says you. How’s Erune doing?” Vio retorts, fighting to keep both his and Blue’s blush from creeping onto the face.

 

Blue sputters as Red and Green break into peals of laughter. She glares at Green playfully, “How’s Dot, huh?”

 

Green giggles, “That doesn’t even work for me! I’m in a straight relationship.”

 

“None of you can get me!” Red announces. They don’t all exactly exist in Four’s head physically, but Vio is met with the mental image of Red whirling around and pointing directly at Blue. “I set up your date, and you are therefore in my debt.”

 

Blue groans and buries her head in her arms.

 

“Didn’t you also just say you liked curly hair?” Green teases.

 

“ERUNE HAS CURLY HAIR!” screeches Red. Vio winces at the volume and resists the urge to put a hand on where the pain is growing in Four’s temple. He didn’t want to bring out Healing Hyrule.

 

“STRAIGHT HAIR LOOKS WEIRD ON US!” Blue yells, but there is no heat in her voice.

 

“I’m not a fan either,” Vio agrees. He tugs distastefully at the hair for emphasis. It tended to curl more when it was short, but when it was long it just weighed itself down. Which resulted in the curtain-y hair they had now.

 

It was the hair that the chain recognized them with, too.

 

“Didn’t you just start a whole argument about keeping it long? It’s usually only curly when it’s short,” Red says.

 

“Well, technically, that one time two years ago—” Blue starts.

 

“Three years,” Vio interjects, earning himself a mental kick from Blue.

 

“Shut it, bookworm,” Blue hisses.

 

“Oh! It did stay curly that one time it was long,” Red recalls, and Vio can envision the little way his head and shoulders jerk and the way his eyes light up when he figures something out.

 

“Before someone decided to chop it completely.”

 

“Hey!” Green yelps, “At least now we know that a buzz cut doesn’t fit us.”

 

”Oh it was horrid!” whines Red. Four’s lip quirks at the exaggeration. Well, it had been ‘horrid.’ But Red loved to exaggerate his movements. If he had a physical form, he’d surely have a hand over his forehead, eyes closed. Probably using someone to lean on.

 

“Stop being dramatic,” Green scoffs. He says it like he’s not finished, and the four colors go silent while waiting for Red’s usual response.

 

“I am not dramatic!” He gasps in the most offended, dramatic voice he can manage. Fails to hold back giggles.

 

It’d been a running joke since they were younger. Red was always dramatic. He’d been, you know, genuine when they were younger. But now they laughed about it, and he laid it on so thick it was stupid.

 

And hilarious.

 

“We haven’t cut it since, though,” Red realizes.

 

“Green’s not doing it this time,” Blue says firmly, her tone leaving absolutely zero room for any argument at all. She huffs, “I thought I was impulsive.”

 

“Fuck you too,” Green grumbles.

 

“I mean, hey,” Red adds, “Obligatory mid-breakdown impulse haircut, you know? It was bound to happen at some point.”

 

“We had no hair!” Blue cries.

 

“We had hair, just not much of it,” Vio says, unable to resist. Four’s lip quirks again.

 

“Oh you f—”

 

“Maybe we can finally get rid of the headband,” Vio muses. Blue shuts up, before—

 

“Oh gods, yes!” Blue and Red cry. Blue’s is more of a groan, and Red’s in the same overly dramatic tone as earlier. The sound, both colors’ voices coming together as they complain, sends a pang through the head.

 

“Hey!” Green protests.

 

It was another one of the things that made up their appearance. But it was Green’s, and the others didn’t like it much. It was scratchy. Uncomfortable.

 

Green.

 

There wasn’t much use for it with shorter hair, anyway.

 

“I’m letting you cut the hair,” Blue reminds him, pauses, “Well, permission to cut the hair. Someone else will do the actual cutting.”

 

“We are removing the headband,” she adds firmly.

 

Green deflates, “Fair.”

 

“I wonder how the others will react when we cut our hair,” Red wonders nervously, “It’s like… our hairstyle.”

 

“We’ll be fine,” Vio assures him, “Wild chopped off nine inches just last week.”

 

“But their hair is still so long! Ours looks so different when it’s short.”

 

“There are weirder things than chopping the hair,” Blue scoffs, “Like, oh, talking to ourselves!” She directs that last bit at Red, who has the tendency to blurt out more than anyone else.

 

“Hey!”

 

The headache is getting worse.

 

“Guys, could you maybe tone it down a bit?” Vio asks. He has to whisper it aloud. It takes a bit of energy to say it internally, and all this walking is starting to grate on the body. Wind is too immersed in its storytelling to notice anything. And even though Vio’s voice is quiet, the colors should be able to hear it at a good volume.

 

“Sorry, Vio!” Red says. He and the others quiet their voices, but if he wanted, Vio can still hear them. He has practice with tuning them out, though, so he does just that.

 

The hike is peaceful, and Vio can finally appreciate it.

 

But he can practically feel Wind, Wild, and Hyrule getting antsy with how uneventful the walk has been.

 

And it’ll probably go to shit soon.

 

 

 

Notes:

Red would be a theater kid in the modern world tbh

Anyways prepare yourselves. I have three. THREE!!! more chapters up my sleeve. This was supposed to be two at max.

This fic is kinda a mess ngl. Listen, I just wanted to write some sillies. It's not supposed to be good. Ch 2 next week!!

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Notes:

Yeah idk what this is at this point but yk it's whatev :)

Hey I'm just vibing alr? Writing what I want.

Enjoy, fellas!

“We should take the chance!” Red insists.

 

“NO! No way. I said Green is NOT doing the haircut,” Blue hisses at him, and Green can feel the swat she sends to Red.

 

Green— Well, Four— sighs and flops backward onto his— their bedroll. Stares up at the canopy of leaves. Little bits of sunset orange manage to seep through. Scents of fried vegetables waft from the cooking pot placed in the center of camp, and Wild’s humming can be heard, faintly, over the sounds of a bunch of sweaty, stinky, tired heroes. The sound of rushing water can be heard from a nearby river.

 

It’s the only downtime they’d had in two days. They’re still in Wild’s area, but they’ve managed to get to Necluda. The haircut argument was four— pfft, four— days ago, and the colors were getting impatient.

 

Wild groans again, and scratches at his back. Nine inches hadn’t been enough, apparently, and his hair had lost another three inches. But he hadn’t had time to wash off recently and has been wallowing in the misery of itchy hair down his tunic for the past three days.

 

He looked so different and so not at the same time. His hair was now just barely past his shoulders, instead of the waist-length it’d been just a little bit ago. But he laughs the same, bickers the same, and cooks the same.

 

Wanders off the same.

 

Green reluctantly tunes back into the argument in his head.

 

“It’s the only chance we’ll have for a few days!” Red frets, anxiety lacing his voice. Green can almost imagine him flapping his hands like he does when he’s nervous.

 

“Are you forgetting what grasshopper over here did to us last time?” Blue asks him.

 

Green barely suppresses an eye-roll, and mentally scoffs, “You guys can literally watch me and my every move. You’ll be right there. It’s not like last time, when you were asleep and I was panicking by myself at like, two in the morning.”

 

“Please, Blue?” Red whines. This time, Green can perfectly imagine his stupid puppy dog eyes that work way too well for a sixteen-year-old.

 

“I don’t want a damn buzz cut,” Blue states.

 

“He won’t give us a buzz cut!”

 

“I’m not going to give us a buzz cut!” Green groans, snapping their eyes shut. The head was pounding and they hadn’t slept in almost forty hours.

 

“How do you know that?” Blue asks. “I don’t trust you.”

 

That stung a bit. Green pushes back Red’s tears before anyone sees them. The topic of trust had been… well. A sore subject after Vio’s double-crossing scheme. Even now, Vio’s absent humming, a fruitless attempt to tune out yet another argument, goes quiet.

 

Four turns their head away from the campfire, where Shadow gives a tiny wave. The heart lifts a bit.

 

“Please, Blue?” Green asks genuinely, turning the face back to the rapidly darkening sky. The angry tone drops from his voice, “I seriously won’t do anything bad. You can watch— I’ll wait for your word.”

 

“I swear.” He says.

 

Blue sighs, “Stop giving those eyes, Red.” She earns a small giggle in return. Addresses Green, “Fine. But I’m guiding you, yeah?”

 

Green beams, and Four’s lips quirk the slightest bit, “Yes!”

 

“What time is it?” wonders Red aloud. “Maybe we can get some shut-eye before we cut our hair.”

 

Blue snorts, “We should volunteer for the third watch and cut our hair then. Confuse the shit out of them for a few moments.”

 

Green sighs fondly, before pushing away from the conversation and swinging the body into a sitting position.

 

“Maybe you can ask the old man?” Vio suggests, “He always seems to know what time it is.”

 

Four rubs their eyes tiredly, before glancing around camp. Time is seated a little ways away, and Four reluctantly stands up from the comfort of their bedroll and wanders over.

 

“Hey, Time,” They yawn, plopping down onto the grass next to wear the old man is settling down, having just finished the process of taking all his armor off.

 

The old man gives a small smile, “Hello, little one.”

 

They would be annoyed at such a comment, had it come from anyone else. But from Time it felt… natural. Comforting. Caring.

 

The two heroes sit in comfortable, content silence. Quietly watching the others as they unwind. The flames dance in Time’s eye, and Four finds themselves humming a small tune.

 

“Isn’t that what Vio was humming earlier?” asks Red.

 

“What?” Green can feel Vio startle a bit, from where they’d probably been spacing out. “Oh,” They say, listening for a moment. “Y-Yea.”

 

“I like it!” Red decides. Vio laughs quietly. In the corner of their eye, Four can see Shadow wave again.

 

“Shadow taught me it,” Vio admits. “At the…” clears his throat, “Fire temple.”

 

“Cool!” Red cheers, then to Green; “Ask Time the time.”

 

He dissolves into a fit of quiet giggles.

 

“Time?” Four asks, and they try not to fidget when the old man’s gaze locks with theirs. Don’t look down, stop breaking eye contact—

 

It was a problem they had with everyone, no matter how comforting their presence was. They could never read anyone— and it set them on edge. Better to just not make eye contact.

 

But that was rude, people said.

 

Time seems to sense their discomfort, and pats his bedroll. Right next to them.

 

He smiles, “You don’t have to sit on the ground, you know,” he gives a tiny laugh, “We’re all so close to each other already. I don’t mind.”

 

Four thumbs the grass next to their feet before scooting over to sit next to Time. The man says nothing, and continues to gaze at the campfire. Four also looks to the fire.

 

The way the flames move is rather mesmerizing. They can feel Red’s excitement.

 

“What did you need?” Time asks, breaking the smith from their thoughts.

 

“Do you know what time it is?” Four asks, not looking away from the fire.

 

Time chuckles, “Well, now. I wouldn’t be the Hero of Time if I didn’t.” He thinks for a moment, before saying, “It is the twentieth hour.”

 

Four pauses for a moment, considering. The group usually started settling down when it was the twenty-second hour, so it was a bit early for sleep. Then again, most of them hadn’t slept for two days, so they’d most likely turn in a bit early. And, hopefully, sleep later. That also meant that watches were longer.

 

“Thoughts?” Green asks the colors.

 

“It’d be smartest to get to sleep soon. Volunteer for the third watch, like Blue said,” Vio states. There’s a bit of humor in his voice when he adds, “It’d be funny to see their reaction.”

 

Blue snickers.

 

“Can’t say no to more sleep,” admits Red. Blue agrees.

 

“So, Vio’s plan?” Green clarifies. There is a resounding ‘yes.’

 

“Four?” Time asks. He’s facing them now, a tad of concern laced into his expression and voice.

 

“Ah, sorry,” Four says, smiling sheepishly. “Spaced out a bit.”

 

Before Time can respond, Wild announces that dinner is ready.

 

Five hungry heroes immediately flock toward the cooking pot. Time and Four lag behind, not wanting to get caught up in the trampling that’s bound to happen. Four is left alone when Time excuses himself to go wake Sky up from where he’d passed out with his chainmail strewn next to him and his boots still on.

 

There is a bit of shouting between Legend and Wind as they race for the first serving, and Twilight assigns them both dish duty, eliciting a snicker from Warriors. Twilight just smiles sweetly at him and says if he doesn’t get his act together then he’s got first watch.

 

Warriors will probably get at least one of the watches, anyway. He’s one of the few that got to sleep last night.

 

Hyrule gets the first serving, weaving in between the squabbling heroes. He and Wild sit down to watch the drama.

 

Eventually, they get sorted out and drift into their own smaller groups around the campfire.

 

The meal Wild made is delicious— millions of times better than whatever they’d been eating before the champion joined their group. It’s simple, but amazing all the same. White rice with a few bites of meat and various vegetables. Four pokes around suspiciously with their fork for a minute, before deeming it safe and taking a bite.

 

“What’s your problem with green peppers, anyway?” Blue scoffs. “Your name is ‘Green’ You’d think they would be like, your favorite food in the world.”

 

Green shrugs the body as minimally as possible, so as to not draw attention. He stabs a bit of meat as he replies, “They’re freaky.”

 

“You don’t have any actual reasoning?”

 

Green doesn’t reply as he shoves a bite into his mouth. The food is warm, too. It warms the body’s insides and the colors love it.

 

Blue sighs.

 

“So,” Twilight starts, jolting Four out of their conversation. The smaller groups have come together, and all nine heroes sit together in a circle. “Who is doing night watches tonight?”

 

Groans sound around the campfire, and Four can’t blame them. They’d been in almost constant fights for the last forty-eight hours, and all of them wanted to sleep.

 

But they were in Wild’s era. A time filled of monsters and assassins, so having no one on watch was out of the question.

 

“I can take third,” Four offers, before anyone beats them to it. Twilight shifts his gaze to them, eye burrowing in concern.

 

“You sure? Smithy, you and Wild have gotten the least amount of sleep lately. You should rest.”

 

Four shakes their head, “I’m sure. I’ll be fine, Twi. I don’t think I could sleep much tonight, honestly.” The colors, including, surprisingly, Blue, were all way to excited for a haircut. Green can practically feel Red shaking. So, yeah. There’s no way they’re getting much sleep.

 

Twilight squints at them suspiciously before sighing and turning away again, “Anyone else wanna volunteer? Or I could start assigning.”

 

Warriors sighs, “I can take second watch.” He smiles sadly, “I have experience running on low energy.”

 

Time says, “Yes, that makes most sense. Warriors and I have gotten more sleep than the lot of you,” He smiles at them, “I will take the first watch.”

 

Twilight claps his hands, startling Wind, who’d been nodding off beside him. Hyrule catches its bowl before it can topple off its lap. “It’s settled then,” he says. Looks to Time for leadership as he so often does, “Are we changing the timing? For watches, I mean.”

 

Time hums, mulling it over in his head before saying, “I think that’d be smartest, yes. Assuming all of us want to turn in a bit earlier than usual?” He says it like a question, and there are mumbled, sleepy agreements all around.

 

“All watches extended by an hour?” Legend suggests.

 

Time nods, “That works.”

 

“Four hours instead of three,” Vio tells them. Red can’t stop a giggle at the number four.

 

They finish off their dinner and pass the dirty dishes to Legend and Wind. There’s not much; only ten bowls. It shouldn’t take much time, and the pair look immensely grateful that Wild didn’t make a bigger meal.

 

After all, less time spent cleaning was more time spent sleeping.

 

Four excuses themselves from camp, and takes their clothes into the forest to change. Their bedtime clothes aren’t much different from their normal clothes. The tunic is a bit softer and looser, yes, but it could pass as daytime clothing easily.

 

The air is cold against their skin. Four shimmies out of their tunic and removes their binder, and Green refuses to look down at his chest. He closes the eyes and puts on the sleep clothes.

 

They take a deep breath with their eyes still closed, and they lean their head back on a tree. It was much easier to breathe without the binder.

 

But that didn’t mean Green would ever have control without wearing it.

 

They all have different opinions on the binder. Green and Red always had it on, and there were never any exceptions. Blue tended to wore it because she was so used to feeling it, but sometimes took it off when she was having a particularly bad day. Vio didn’t care, but usually wore it because it’s what he’s used to.

 

They all liked it, though.

 

Four slips off their headband, gathers their clothes, and walks back to camp.

 

. . . .

 

 

The bedrolls have been laid out.

 

Only Time, Legend, Hyrule and Sky were in camp. Four assumes that the others are preforming their other various nighttime routines.

 

The bedrolls are in their usual groups— Hyrule and Legend, side by side. The duo is sitting in content silence, Legend sitting and the traveler laying down, already drifting off to sleep. Sky is next to Time and where Twilight will be soon, already asleep. The old man sits against a log with his legs crosses and a sheathed sword next to him. He smiles at Four when they walk into the dim light of the dying fire.

 

Four’s bedroll is right where they left it. Wild and Wind’s are laid only a few feet away.

 

Warriors liked to have his own space, and his bedroll was like a island away from the others. It was closer to Time’s side of camp than it was Four’s.

 

Four stumbles over to their bedroll, yawning. They stuff their clothes clumsily into their pack, despite Blue’s protests of “Organize it!”

 

They flop down face-first onto their blankets.

 

There’s a giggle, and for a moment Four thinks it’s Red. But then they look up and see Wind looking down at them, eyebrow raised and an amused expression on its face.

 

”Tired, smithy?” It asks, putting its tunic in its bag in a similar messy manner.

 

“Disorganized freaks,” Blue hisses.

 

Four can only give an incoherent mumble in response as they peel their blankets back and slide under them. Wind laughs as they curl into a ball and stay like that.

 

“G’night, Four,” It says.

 

Red gives one last tired reminder to cut the hair when they wake up before Four’s mind goes silent

 

 

Notes:

Fingers crossed I remember to update next week! Sorry i forgot last time.

Now, the notes I found on the original doc:

FUCK DO I HAVE TO MAKE A WHOLE NOTHEE CHAPTER....????????? NO. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONESHOTX!!!!11!+ MAYBE 2,000 WORDS AT MOST. FOUR HASNT EVNE CUT THEIR PHAIR YET.!!! Four was NOT productive in this chapter. Stop sleeping and cut yoUR HAIR.

gods.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Summary:

Woah!!! Four actually cuts their hair!!!

Notes:

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!

I'm so sorry guys 😭
I don't even have a proper ao3 author excuse for this

Uhm. I'm not a hairstylist. I dunno how to cut hair. This chapter is a mess ‼‼

Four jolts awake when they feel a gentle hand on their shoulder. Their minds catches up with them before they punch Warriors in the face, though.

Four sheepishly lowers their fist, and grins at the captain.

“Hey, Wars,” They greet, “Sorry about that.”

Warriors snorts, patting them on the shoulder, “It’s fine. I’m no different when someone wakes me up.” He smirks, “You’re nowhere near as bad as some of the others, though.”

“No,” Four agrees. They frown as they look at the other hero’s face, “Go get some sleep, you look exhausted.”

He did. There were bags under his eyes and one of them was slightly red as if he’d been kneading at it. He looked on the verge of passing out, if Four were being honest. His scarf is draped across his shoulders like a blanket like it usually is at this time of night. Or, morning, really.

Warriors sighs in relief, “I’m not gonna say no to that.” He squeezes Four’s shoulder, before standing up, dusting himself off, and walking away towards his isolated bedroll.

Four pulls off their blanket with one hand, and rubs crust from their eyes with the other.

Their mind is foggy and the colors are scrambled like they are everytime they wake up of they go through a portal. It’ll be a few minutes before the colors will be able to hear one another. They won’t know who’s got control until then.

Four decides to spend their time waiting by packing up their bedroll— It’s not as if they’re going back to sleep. They fold the blankets not very neatly, but well enough that they’ll fit in their pack. They hear Warriors’ breathing start to slow somewhere to their right.

Just as they’re done rolling up their bedroll, they feel a presence stir in their head.

“’ Morning,” yawns Red, voice quiet like he wasn’t quite awake yet.

“Hey,” Vio whispers, and he startles when it comes out loud. “Guess I’m in control,” he adds, internally this time.

“Yay!” Red cheers sleepily. Vio smiles.

“Are the others awake?”

”I don’t kn—”

“Is it time for the haircut?” Green bursts in, and Four jumps.

Red giggles, “Haircut time!”

”Who’s got control?” Blue asks.

“Good morning to you too, Blue,” Vio grumbles.

“Yeah, whatever,” she replies, “Better you than Green.” Then, “Are we doing this or not?”

”We’ll need to be quick-ish,” Vio tells them, “It’s around the fifth hour, if Warriors woke us up when he was supposed to.”

“And some of us wake up at the sixth hour regardless of how tired they are,” Blue finishes for him. “What a bunch of maniacs, honestly.”

“Hey! Don’t be mean,” Red pouts.

“VIO! Come on! Go!” Green yelps, “We need to—”

“It’s okay, Green,” Vio assures him, spurring the body into action, “We’ll have time.”

Four fishes out a dagger from one of the smaller pouches of their pack. They pointedly ignore how familiar the blade feels in their hands, and the scars itching on their arms. Don’t think about it, Vio chides himself.

“Where should we do this?” Vio asks. He feels the other three glance at one another, unsure. “How should we do this?”

“Uh…” Green says intelligently.

Vio sighs, “We can probably do it with a hairband, and just donate it?”

The other colors agree, and Four digs around for a hairband.

“Do we not have one?” Vio asks, eyes squinted in confusion. They put their hair up all the time… where were the hairbands?

“This is why you need to organize,” Blue tells them, in her I-told-you-so tone.

Four digs into one of the side pockets, and successfully pulls out seven hair bands. There is a full rainbow of colors, including black.

“At least we found a few,” says Vio. The others cheer.

“How many inches are we taking off?” Red asks. “How long is it now?”

“Hmm, well—” Four takes a strand of hair in their hand, “It’s probably thirteen or fourteen inches now. Maybe twelve?”

“We should cut it to our ear,” Green decides, “How many inches is that?”

Four slides their hand down the strand until it reaches ear length, “Maybe six or seven inches?”

“What do you think, Blue?” Red asks, trying his best to include their sister in the decision. Especially after her outburst about not being acknowledged.

Four can feel Blue shrug, “Well, I’d say just go for it. Trial and error. Might be shitty, but it won’t be a buzz cut.”

“Aren’t you the one who was making a big deal about this just a few days ago?” Green asks, “I feel as if you should be, you know, instructing us. Ordering us around, like you threatened yesterday.”

“Shut it, Green,” Blue threatens half-heartedly.

“So, six inches?” Vio interrupts before Green can retaliate.

“Yep!” Red says, popping the ‘P’.

Four shrugs, “Alright.”

“Wet it,” Blue suggests.

“Ah, yeah.”

“There should be a stream around here, right?” Red wonders, “We passed by one just before settling down.”

“To your left,” Green says. “You should run into it if you keep walking for,” He does a quick calculation, “Less than two minutes. It’s not far.”

“Thanks,” Four says, gathering some things from their pack before standing up and turning to the left. “This way?”

“I’m pretty sure, yeah,” Green tells them. “Uh… ninety percent. Ninety percent sure, I mean.” He did that lots— making sure they know he’s not completely sure just in case he was wrong.

“Can we just leave watch like this?” Red frets, “I don’t wanna be gone and then something happens and we’re not here and—”

“They’ll be fine,” Blue insists. “Hurry up, Vio.”

Four walks over to the edge of the small area they’re camped in. It’s not a clearing— trees separate them and are scattered throughout the camp. But the woods are a bit lighter here. Four steps into the denser trees, listens for a moment, and follows the sound of water.

A stream comes into view. It’s small, maybe a meter or two wide. It’s not very deep, but water trickles smoothly and it’ll get the job done.

“Did Wild ever get the chance to wash the hair off their back?” Red asks as Vio pulls their hair over their shoulder and does his best to get it wet.

“I think so,” Blue says, “He wasn’t there when we fell asleep. Maybe he was washing off?” She shrugs, “Obviously, I don’t know. We were asleep. But It’d be a smart course of action.”

“But then again, we can’t always rely on him to make smart decisions,” She adds dryly.

Four does their best to wash their hair a bit, too. The colors continue to chat throughout the process.

“Where does it lead to?” Green wonders, “The stream.”

Blue rolls her eyes, “We passed by a huge river on the way here, remember? ‘Course you don’t— Anyway. Dueling Peaks Stable is… somewhere,” She gestures somewhere, but no one can see her. “Behind the Dueling Peaks. We were going to aim to stay there but, you know, Sky nearly passed out.”

“You could just tell me it leads to the river without calling me an idiot,” Green grumbles.

Vio can hear the grin in Blue’s voice as she says, “But what would be the fun in that?”

“Is this good?” Four asks her, running a hand through their wet hair so she could feel it. While the colors had been talking, they’d managed to scrub at it and brush it until it was as straight and untangled as possible.

Blue hums, “It’s as good as we’re getting here,” she decides. “Let’s head back.”

“Why couldn’t we have just gone to the river?” Red asks her, “It’s bigger. It would’ve been easier to work with.”

“Lizalfos, Red. You guys are lucky I remember these things,” Blue laughs at him, but her tone is teasing and fond.

They walk over to just outside of camp and sit down on the ground on their knees.

In all honesty, they don’t know how to cut hair. The last few times had been a disaster, even if you don’t include the buzz cut. They don’t know how to cut hair properly using hair bands, and they’re using them more for catching the hair and keeping it together than they are for getting an even cut.

And hey, they could always ask Wild or Warriors to clean it up for them if worst comes to worst.

They carefully measure out six inches on the right side of their head, before tying a band around it. They also tie a band beneath it, so the hair doesn’t get all over the place. They repeat the process on the other side and in the back. It’s definitely not even, no. But they just need to get it off their damn neck before Green loses his mind.

Yeah. Someone’s gotta help them clean it up.

“No turning back,” Vio warns.

“DO IT!” They cheer. Four grins.

The dagger cuts with little problem through Four’s hair, directly under the first band. The chunk of hair makes a soft sound of impact as it hits the grass.

The cheer from the colors sends a spike of pain through Four’s head, but they can’t bring themselves to care. They cut the other two ponytails, eliciting two more cheers. It feels amazing.

Four leans forward and ruffles their hair, trying their best to get the excess out. It’s satisfying, how little time it takes to run a hand through it. They grab a mirror that they’d placed in their pocket and take it out in front of them.

Their face stares back at them. Their hair looked… surprisingly good, actually. There were some weird spots, but all in all, it was acceptable. It was amazing. The hair was still completely straight like it makes sense it would directly after a cut. It looks a bit silly, but it’s a matter of time before it starts to dry and poof up a bit.

Green squeaks in excitement, and while Four can’t feel him, they can feel a phantom sensation around their chest. One of comfort, almost like a hug. They assume that’s what it is.

“Thank you thank you thank you Vio!” He giggles, all sense of keeping up a calm facade gone. “And you, blueberry.”

“Calm down, you freak,” Blue grumbles, but they can all hear her smiling, and she’s fooling no one.

“Red! We cut the hair!” Green cheers, and Four winces a bit at the volume but does nothing to stop it.

Red giggles in response and yells “We cut the hair!” This time, Four can’t stop themselves from pressing a hand to their head.

“Guys,” They hiss, out loud. They don’t need any more noise in their head, “I get you’re excited, but please quiet down a bit?”

“Sorry!” They all say, in almost perfect unison.

“It's alright,” Four replies, grinning. Then, “You guys know it’ll take a bit of time, maybe three weeks before it starts curling, right?”

“Yep,” Green says.

“Yeah,” Red says, nervously, “It starts getting fluffier when it dries though, right?”

“It should,” Blue assures him.

“We should head back,” Green interrupts, “It’s been almost an hour, and Wild will probably be up soon. We don’t want him to think we left or anything.”

An image of Blue with a mischievous, feral grin on her face appears in Four’s head. “Oh gods, this is gonna be awesome. I wish we had a way of recording their reactions.”

“What if they don’t recognize us? Or they think we’re Dink disguised but got something wrong—” Red worries, wringing his hands.

“We’ll be fine,” Vio soothes. “They can always ask us a question to confirm. Also, this isn’t the first time someone has cut their hair without telling anyone.”

Four walks back into camp and to their bedroll. No one else is awake yet, they note as they put their things back into their pack. They pause as their hand brushes against the embroidery on their tunic.

“Should we change?” Vio asks, hand resting on the tunic and absently tracing it.

“If you can do it in under five minutes,” Green responds.Four nods and grabs their tunic and trousers. They have to search for their binder for a moment, and they find it tangled into their other clothes.

”Wow. You really couldn’t be bothered,” Vio tells Green as he stands the body up and walks them back into the trees.

“Sorry,” Green mutters.

Four shakes their head as they pull off their sleep clothes. They blindly put their binder on, eyes closed just like Green the night before. Though Vio doesn’t really care much about the body’s appearance, he’d rather Green and Red not freak out this morning.

They pull on their usual outfit, and Four walks back into camp, rubbing their hand on the violet square of their tunic.

Notes:

I actually got a haircut like 4 hours ago-

Too bad I spaced out during the process *thumb up*

Notes I found on the document:

Oh no. Oh hylia. I still have more????? The chains reactions. I was gonna put kt in this chapter but it's alr 2100 words!!!!! Please save me I'm so.

Four chapters for four? Yeah. Not doing five. I refuse.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Summary:

Chain reactions wahoo

Notes:

IM SO SO SO SO SORRY TO ANYONE WHO WAS ACTIVELY FOLLOWING THIS FIC. ITS BEEN LIKE HALF A YEAR. IM SO SORRY. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PROPER AO3 AUTHOR EXCUSE FOR THIS 🙏🙏

 

anyways! Hope you guys enjoy!!??

In the few minutes they’ve been gone, Wild has managed to drag himself up. He still looked tired, but he also preferred having a consistent wake-up time.

 

Waking up too early, or, more commonly, too late always put him on edge. They all knew why, and didn’t bug him about it. (Well, other than Hyrule telling him to get to bed earlier.)

 

He also liked getting up on time to make breakfast.

 

“Hey, Four,” Wild greets, not looking up from where he’d scrolling through his Purah Pad. He is sat on his bedroll, Wind curled up next to him. His eyes do dart quickly to Four’s feet, most likely identifying them by the boot, but he doesn’t look up at their face. Much to Blue’s annoyance.

 

“Good morning, Wild,” Four says, walking up to stand next to the champion. It’s a rare— and quite odd— feeling to be able to stand over someone like this. They were the shortest of the group. Even Wind, the second shortest, was still a good five inches taller than them.

 

“Where’d you head off to?” Wild asks, still not looking up. He’s started to press at something, but Four can’t see what.

 

“I was getting dressed,” They said.

 

Wild does a quick glance up at that, just enough to confirm that they’re in their multi-colored tunic, before looking back down.

 

Only to do the biggest double-take of all time.

 

Wild’s head whips up, eyes wide as he takes in Four’s new haircut. In the motion, he’d accidentally sent what’s probably around thirty apples tumbling out of thin air. With pure luck, they don’t bonk into the sleeping sailor. He winces and flushes red as they hit the ground, but doesn’t take his eyes off the smith.

 

The colors burst into laughter, and Vio can barely keep a straight face on the body. He allows a subtle smirk that he knows is just enough to be annoying.

 

“What?” Four asks, voice shaking with barely restrained giggles.

 

“Y-Your hair!” Wild sputters, blush growing. He says it as a whisper yell, but Wind starts to stir a bit. Wild looks down at him and seems to make a decision.

 

He wacks Wind on the head, and the sailor is up in a second, yelping and swinging a fist towards Wild’s shoulder. (Wild’s lucky Twilight has confiscated Wind’s dagger, or else they’d be in a very different situation right now.)

 

“What?” Wind hisses, somehow managing to not wake anyone else.

 

Wild shakes it by the shoulders and points to Four, “Am I hallucinating right now or did smithy get a haircut?”

 

“What?” Wind is so, utterly confused. As it whips its head around to find Four, the confusion only grows. “S-s— What the— Smithy?” Four just gives a little grin and a wave.

 

It faces Wild, “I see it too.”

 

They stare at Four, who shrugs. “Hey, you just chopped more than half your hair off. You can’t judge me.”

 

Wild waves his hands, “NO! No no. I’m not judging you I’m just…” He thinks for a moment, “Surprised?”

 

He squints, “It’s a bit uneven in the back.”

 

Four laughs, “Yeah. If you or Warriors could help me with that it’d be great.”

 

“Sure?”

 

Wind pouts before Four can respond, “I can’t braid your hair anymore! It’s too short!”

 

Four smiles apologetically, “Yeah, sorry. It was making Gr— me feel dysphoric.” If Wild or Wind noticed the slip-up, they didn’t say anything about it.

 

“D-dysphoric?”

 

“Transgender male, sailor,” Four reminds it. The stomach clenches for a moment. Vio didn’t have a gender preference and found it easy to talk about. Green… tended to shut down conversations about his birth gender relatively quickly.

 

“Oh!”

 

In fact, if Four hadn’t gotten so injured in a battle a few weeks ago, none of the chain would even know they weren’t physically a male. They had a rather androgynous facial structure, and their chest was more on the flatter side. But Lizalfos spear to the stomach had outed them, and they hadn’t even been conscious for it.

 

It was a lot easier with the secret out though.

 

There’s a light thumping sound, and Four watches as Hyrule quietly comes up behind Wild. Their steps are quiet on the grass, and Wild jumps like a cat when they gently tap him on the shoulder. Blue snickers.

 

“Hylia, Rulie—” He pants, “Y’ scared the shit outta me—”

 

Hyrule gives him an irritating grin and signs, ‘Can I have an apple?’

 

Wild sighs and hands them an apple. Hyrule waves at Wind and Four, seemingly unsurprised by their haircut.

 

“Why aren’t they reacting?” Blue demands.

 

Four raises an eyebrow at the traveler, “No comment?”

 

Hyrule shrugs and shoves the apple into the pouch that was always clipped to their pouch— Four hadn’t even seen them wake up and leave to change— before signing,’Legend impulse cuts his hair a lot. Nothing really surprises me anymore.’

 

Their expression shifts to concern, ‘You alright though? It’s usually a breakdown thing for the vet.’

 

Four waves them off, “No, I’m okay. Just some minor gender dysphoria.”

 

The healer gives them a suspicious glance, before waving and half walking half skipping over to where Legend is putting on his boots.

 

The trio sits in silence for a few minutes, helping Wild gather the rest of the apples. When Wind sneaks one into its pocket, Four says nothing. They doubt the chef will notice one apple gone missing.

 

“I need to start breakfast!” Wild realizes, glancing at the gradually lightening sky. Glances at the other two, “Suggestions?”

 

“Fruit?” Wind suggests.

 

Wild looks at it incredulously, “We just spent five minutes putting fruit away!”

 

“I don’t know!” Wind yelps in defense, “You asked for ideas!”

 

“That wildberry cake you made for Wind’s birthday was pretty good,” Four suggests after some prodding from Red.

 

Wild gives them The Look too. “I can’t make a whole cake. We’re in the middle of a forest.”

 

“Something with wildberries, I meant. Fruit salad?”

 

Wild sighs, “You know what? I’ve got nothing better, so. Fruit salad it is.” He turns to Wind, “As punishment for kicking me in my sleep, you’re helping me cut the apples.”

 

Wind sputters, but allows Wild to drag it away.

 

“Now we wait for the others to wake up,” Blue declares confidently.

 

“The double take was pretty entertaining,” Red supplies.

 

“They’re idiots,” Blue answers confidently, “They can do better.”

 

Four pulls out a book, much to the annoyance of the colors, and settles down to start reading.

 

—

 

Half of them don’t even react. Hylia, Sky doesn’t even notice.

 

Blue has been silent the entire time, probably gaping stupidly at the scenes laid out in front of her.

 

Vio and Green fail to hide their disappointment. Red succeeds in hiding his disappointment, instead insisting that ‘all that matters is that they got the haircut!’

 

Legend’s lack of a reaction made sense, at least. Hyrule hadn’t been lying after all— he did cut his hair unexpectedly. A lot. The traveler had probably also told him. The two were inseparable.

 

The veteran hadn’t spared them more than a few seconds glance, before he shrugged and turned away muttering “You do you.”

 

Four hadn’t been discouraged.

 

No, they hadn’t been discouraged until Time had woken up, caught sight of them, and didn’t even blink. Well… It was the old man. He always had less of a reaction. But they were running out of people.

 

Twilight had just said it looked good on them and moved on with his day.

 

Warriors had a better reaction. He hadn’t even recognized them at first. He glanced at them quickly, not truly taking in their nearly rainbow tunic before turning away. “Hey, sailor? Could you help me with this—” And he does a double take, whipping around to stare again. “F-Four?”

 

Four waves.

 

“When did you even— Is that why you wanted third watch?” Four’s smirk tells him everything he needs to know, and he sighs. “Do you want help cleaning it up, at least?”

 

Four grins, “Yeah, definitely. I don’t know how hair works.”

 

“It’s not that bad,” Warriors assures them, “A bit uneven, but you did good.”

 

Four feels a childish urge to fidget and react strongly to the praise, but quickly pushes it backwards. They have a bit of a reputation, still. They’d rather keep it.

 

“Thank you,” Is more formal and mature.

 

Warriors nods at them, then jerks his head over to his bag, “Can you help me find something in my bag? We might need to completely take things out and re-organize it,” He smiles at them, “You don’t have to really, if you have other things, but I can’t help with your hair until I find this.”

 

“No, it’s fine. I have nothing to do anyway,” says Four, reluctantly closing their book and pulling themselves to their feet.

 

Blue nods in appreciation, “Yes, why read when you can clean?”

 

“I don’t get why you like cleaning so much!” Red whines.

 

“It’s therapeutic.”

 

“What did you need to find?” Four asks, gently stuffing their book back into their pack.

 

“Sewing kit,” Warriors says, and he hold up an end of his scarf which is still not wrapped around his neck like usual. He holds it preciously in his hands, “There’s a few things I need to patch up. Constantly fighting is not helping me preserve this thing, but I’m trying my best.”

 

“How did you even get it through the war?” Four asks.

 

The captain smiles wistfully, “Lots of care.”

 

Four doesn’t press, and follows him towards where his bag lays with some of his belongings spilling out.

 

—

 

Vio ends up sitting back as Blue shoves her way to control. He doesn’t really mind, and the other colors space out a bit as she and Warriors go through the rather boring process of finding the captain’s damn sewing kit.

 

The time passes quickly though, as Red and Green rant to each other about something or other. Smithing techniques, the best shades of green or red or whatever other color. Whatever comes to mind, and whatever can get them going and keep them interested for more than two minutes.

 

Before any of them know it, Blue has managed to locate Warriors’ kit. She presents it to him with a flourish and restricts a long rant about not keeping it at the bottom of his bag to a simple, one-sentence tease.

 

And soon after that, Wild and Wind announce that breakfast is ready.

 

It’s simple, but yummy. Four knows they’d be able to manage it. It’s just chopped fruit, after all.

 

That doesn’t stop them from teasing Hyrule about managing to mess this up. Of course, they had no way to know because the traveler was completely banned from making food ever again. But, still.

 

Wild had listened to their suggestion. There were wildberries mixed with apples. A few bananas, as well. There’s another fruit that Four can’t identify. It’s shock yellow and leaves a small tingly sensation on their tongue.

 

Their hair is mostly dry now, and it feels fluffy and just so right when they reach a hand up to touch it.

 

The smithy’s eyes fall onto their final chance to get an interesting reaction; Sky. He’s sat next to them, fighting to not nod off and dump food on the ground.

 

Before Four can think of any move to make, Sky turns to them slowly. He blinks and shakes his head and smiles as best as he can.

 

“Good morning, Smithy,” He hums, making eye contact like he usually does to show that he’s involved in the conversation. Four forces themselves to keep it.

 

“Morning, Sky. You sleep decently?” They ask.

 

“Well enough,” Sky responds. He goes back to his meal.

 

Four doesn’t try to hide their frown. Blue still has control, and she always tended to wear her emotions on her sleeves for everyone to see.

 

Sky catches it and turns to them again, “Something wrong?” He’s concerned, Four can tell, but his speech is still slurred from fatigue.

 

“You don’t notice anything different?” Four asks, a bit of incredulity leaking into their voice. Sky was tired— they got that.

 

But they were also missing half their hair. They gestured to it. To the very obvious change.

 

Sky tilts his head and squints, only to smile sheepishly, “Uhm, no? Sorry.”

 

Blue bites back a scathing comment, instead simply sighing and placing the bowl down.

 

“These heroes, they’re all idiots,” She says mentally.

 

Even Red can’t argue with her this time.

 

“Sorry,” Sky says quietly, rubbing at his neck absently.

 

“No, it’s fine.” Four looks at him, “I cut my hair.”

 

The way Sky’s eyes widen is comical, and it takes every bit of all the colors’ willpower to not bust out giggling.

 

“Ohhh!”

 

Four can’t stop it this time, and they dissolve into a fit of hysterical laughter. The entire chain is sat around the same earlier in a nowhere-near-perfect circle, and they all glance over to Four. Their faces are seas of confusion and concern and holding back giggles.

 

Laughing tended to be very, very contagious in this group.

 

“I can’t—” Four cuts themselves off as giggles take over again, “Hylia— I can’t tell which is funnier, Wild’s double take this morning or Sky completely not realizing.”

 

“Not realizing what?” Legend asks.

 

“My hair.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Sky and Wild flush red and both protest “I had just woken up!”

 

Four’s giggling drowns them out, “That was so anti-climactic!”

 

Wind frowns, “Your haircut?”

 

Four nods vigorously, “I spent almost a week debating the pros and cons and Sky just— doesn’t realize!” The chosen hero squeaks in embarrassment, but Four continues on, “Half of you don’t care! I can’t believe w— I spent so long thinking about it.”

 

‘To be fair,’ Hyrule signs, hands shaking with concealed laughter, ‘Some of us cut their hair so often it’s hard for any of us to be that phased by it.’

 

The Vet and the Cook glanced at each other. Wind giggled.

 

Four turns to Wild, mouth open to say something. But before they can get even a syllable of their friendly tease out, the champion shouts, “OKAY! I want to make it to the stable as soon a possible! We should start packing up camp. I’m going to uhh, put my stuff away!” He darts away.

 

No one says anything about the Purah Pad he’d left in the circle, but Four sees Twilight silently slip in into his pouch so it doesn’t get lost.

 

Well, no one other than Legend— “I wonder how he’ll pack up without that thing,” He says, voice dripping in sarcasm.

 

Twilight rolls his eyes and gives Legend a little kick in the knee.

 

Warriors grins at Four, “Still want a bitta help cleaning that up?” he asks.

 

“Yes, please,” Four replies before stuffing an apple slice into their mouth.

 

Warriors nods, “It might be easier at the stable, if you wanna wait until then?” He phrases it like a question.

 

“That works for me, yes.”

 

They finish their breakfast in peaceful silence.

 

As Four eats their wildberries, they take a moment to appreciate the lack of hair against their back. The four colors hum in content unison, for once not arguing or talking. They can’t really tell who’s in control. When they’re relaxed it tends to blur the lines a bit, and they become more combined and less divided. More ‘One’ than ‘Four.’ They’re glad for the peace while it lasts.

 

They run their hand through their hair again, sighing happily.

 

One of them, they can’t tell who, says, “Well, that was a lotta drama for a haircut.”

 

The others all can’t help but agree.

 

 

 

Notes:

Is it obvious I don't know how to end fics

Anyways. Uh. Sorry again yall >:)

Hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Arch's Zelda Fics