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Guilt troubled Barok more than ever these days as he and Kazuma grew closer. Kazuma was a light in his life he hadn’t expected. He was sharp, dedicated, and just. While he had flaws—aggression and shortsightedness being the most obvious—at heart he was the sort of person Barok could truly admire.
Privately to himself, Barok could also admit Kazuma was incredibly handsome.
Sometimes he gazed at the other man’s face when he wasn’t looking and imagined wild scenarios where they met under other circumstances, such as a world in which Kazuma was the same age as him and they met at university. Back then, he would have been far too shy to approach a man like Kazuma, but perhaps Kazuma would have approached him, befriended him, and flirted with him, until they ended up in a passionate embrace in a secluded corner.
Or he’d imagine a world where the Professor never came to be. Years after Genshin returned to his homeland, Barok would visit with Klint and find his heart stolen away by Genshin’s son. Or even a world in which Stronghart had prosecuted Genshin’s trial himself, and when Kazuma came to London seeking revenge, he and Barok could have become allies sooner. Anything but the current state of things, where his past mistakes had built an unsurpassable barrier between him and what his heart craved.
But those worlds did not exist, and so Barok savored every moment he had with Kazuma and dreamed of things that could never be.
He sighed as he stared at the pages of the book he was ostensibly reading. Kazuma lived in the manor with him, and these cozy evenings made it all too easy to get lost in fantasies of the other man cuddling up by his side.
“Lord van Zieks, may I speak with you?”
He looked up from his book and ignored the way his heart skipped a beat. “Certainly.”
Framed in the doorway of the parlor, Kazuma was as gorgeous as ever. His eyes were narrowed in that fierce expression he used when closing in on the truth in court. “I would like to apologize to you.”
“What?”
Confident strides carried him into the room, and he stopped in front of Barok’s chair. “When we met, I prosecuted you and tried to have you condemned as a murderer. I know those days still haunt you; I can see it in your eyes. Therefore, I would like to apologize to you properly.”
Barok furrowed his brow. “You and I have long since said our apologies to one another. If anything, I should be the one to offer further apologies, not you. Besides, why do you feel the need to announce your apo—why are you getting on your knees??”
Now kneeling in front of him, Kazuma reached toward Barok’s pants.
He scrambled to his feet and backed out of reach. “What are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to suck your cock.”
“I beg your pardon?!”
“Don’t look so horrified; I know you’re attracted to men. And I’ve seen the way you look at me.”
Horrified didn’t come close to describing Barok’s mortification.
“Come on…” Kazuma gazed up at him with the most enticing smile he’d ever seen. “I put you through a lot of pain in that trial, so it’s time to make up for it now. Just shove your cock down my throat and work out aaaall that frustration.” He opened his mouth wide.
A fantasy flashed through Barok’s mind, himself holding Kazuma’s head steady while thrusting hard into his mouth, perhaps coming all over his handsome features… Heat pooled in his stomach and his cock twitched with interest, but something about it felt so wrong. He didn’t want Kazuma’s apologies, not like this.
He fled the parlor.
#
Neither of them said anything about it the next day, and Barok hoped the matter would be forgotten. He couldn’t fathom what had gotten into Kazuma’s head to make him suggest doing such a thing. That image of Kazuma on his knees opening his mouth for Barok would haunt his dreams for a long, long time…
He shook his head and forced himself to concentrate. If he wanted the incident forgotten, he ought to start by forgetting it himself.
The case they were preparing for was particularly tedious, with the sort of defendant who had escaped previous guilty verdicts through bribed juries and other forms of corruption. Barok had worked tirelessly to make their case as solid as possible, but failure remained a risk. He set aside the case documents and rubbed his head. Although he’d gone over every detail, the feeling that he ought to do more persisted.
“You seem stressed,” Kazuma said.
He lifted his head and saw his apprentice had approached his desk. “Forgive me.”
“You know what I think you need?”
“What?” Unsettling déjà vu made Barok regret asking the moment the word left his lips, but it was too late to take it back.
Kazuma circled around the desk to stand right by his chair. With a sly smile, he took one more step to stand in front of him. “I think you need to bend me over your desk and take out your frustrations on my helpless body.”
Heat rushed to Barok’s face, though he kept his voice steady. “You and ‘helpless’ are not two things I associate with each other.”
“I can pretend.”
He stood up and tried to ignore the feel of Kazuma’s body so close to his and the way he leaned forward slightly as if anticipating being bent over the desk like he’d suggested. It would feel so good… but no, he couldn’t. He treasured Kazuma far too much to degrade him in such a way. Guilt would torment him forever if he did.
He hurried away from the desk before the temptation grew too great. “There are some aspects of the case I wish to investigate further; proceed as you wish with your own work.”
#
As he feared, although their case was solid, a bribed jury prevented them from getting a guilty verdict. Whispers of the Reaper began to circulate once again, and by the time Barok and Kazuma returned to the manor that evening, he was ready to go to sleep and forget it all, though things would be no better in the morning.
Kazuma followed him up the manor’s grand staircase to the hallway just outside his bedroom. “You look frustrated.”
Barok sighed and opened the bedroom door. “Should I not be?” Perhaps he should have gotten some wine in order to aid his attempts to sleep. “Neither the trial’s outcome nor the resulting gossip will leave my thoughts easily.”
To his horror, Kazuma stepped past him into the master bedroom. “I have a cure for that.” He flopped backwards onto the mattress and looked up at Barok through half-lidded eyes. “Why don’t you come over here and get a little stress relief from my tight body?”
Mortified, Barok covered his face. “No.”
“Argh!” Kazuma threw his hands into the air. “What do I have to do to make you touch me?! I’ve seen the way you look at me; I know you want me as much as I want you. Are you waiting for me to beg or something?”
Heat uncoiled in Barok’s stomach, and he lifted his head to look at Kazuma again. “Excuse me?”
“I hate begging, but I’ll sacrifice my pride if it’s the only way.”
What in the…
Barok moved before he had time to think. He pushed Kazuma back down onto the mattress and kissed him. He kissed him with near desperation, craving his touch and the feel of his mouth under his. So much time spent wanting, yearning, needing, and now Kazuma was underneath him like he’d dreamed. He pushed his tongue between Kazuma’s parted lips, and the other man groaned.
The sound sent a jolt straight to his groin. He pulled back and stared down into Kazuma’s face, flushed and breathless and more beautiful than ever.
“Now this is more like it!” Kazuma stared up at him, his voice slightly dazed. “What made you finally crack?”
Barok leaned in and kissed him again, softly this time. “Why did you never simply say you wanted me? You always framed it as me using you.”
“Because it’s hot!”
“You are impossible.”
Kazuma grinned. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you.”
“You have spent days causing me undue frustration.”
“And now you’re finally ready to work all that frustration out after all.”
Barok loomed over him on the bed and glared at him. He couldn’t tell if Kazuma truly had intended to tease him until he couldn’t resist, or if he was simply trying to cover for the fact that he’d made things unnecessarily complicated. Regardless, if he wanted Barok to use him so badly, then he was through holding back.
He ripped away Kazuma’s pants and undergarments and cast them aside. Fully bared, his desire was obvious. He was fully erect already. Barok’s own cock stirred, and he pushed up Kazuma’s legs to spread him. At once he cursed his lack of preparation. He had no oil nor anything else to help. He looked around for inspiration, then tore off one of his gloves and brought two fingers up to Kazuma’s lips. “Suck.”
“I knew you’d be into this.”
A hint of guilt crept through Barok’s desire at how commanding he’d been—but then Kazuma parted his lips and took his fingers into his mouth, and he stopped thinking about anything else. He sucked his fingers obediently, far more docile than Barok ever expected, then met his gaze with a lascivious wink.
Cock straining against his pants, Barok withdrew his now-wet fingers and brought them to the tight, waiting hole. He slowly pushed one finger inside, gaze on Kazuma’s face to better judge if he was too rough or not. Kazuma gasped and threw his head back against the mattress, panting. Barok fingered him gently, then worked another finger in.
With a low groan, Kazuma writhed on the bed. His hands clenched around the sheets beneath him. “Ugh, yes… just like that…”
“Perhaps it was you who needed an outlet for your frustrations,” Barok said, “not me.”
“Y-Yeah.” Kazuma pressed against his hand as if trying to drive his fingers further inside. “Don’t stop now, please.”
“And now you’re begging after all.”
“I need it.” His eyes were dark with desire. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Every word he spoke sent a wave of heat straight to Barok’s cock. He forced himself to have patience as he continued to work Kazuma open, lest he hurt him by mistake. With his free hand, he reached up and pulled open Kazuma’s uniform enough to reach skin and caress his chest.
Kazuma groaned. “Get on with it already…”
A request easily granted. Barok pulled his fingers back and unbelted his pants feverishly. His cock sprang free, and he pressed it against Kazuma’s hole. He paused, afraid of hurting him after all without anything else to ease the passage, but Kazuma made a needy mewl deep in the back of his throat, and Barok couldn’t resist any longer.
With barely enough willpower to fight the urge to drive in with one quick thrust, he pushed into him slowly. Kazuma’s eyes fluttered shut. His tight heat seemed to welcome Barok, demanding more as it pressed in around his shaft. He kept his movements slow and steady until his cock was buried inside the other man, then pulled out slightly and thrust in harder.
Kazuma grunted.
“Does this feel good?” Barok asked.
“Yes… oh yes…”
With that affirmation easing his concerns, he began to thrust steadily in and out. Waves of heat and pleasure surged through him with each deep plunge. He ripped Kazuma’s shirt open the rest of the way to bare his chest as he panted beneath him. Unfathomable though it seemed, this beautiful treasure of a man was all his.
Kazuma clutched at Barok’s shirt and yanked him down into a fierce kiss, and a dominant urge Barok never knew he possessed welled up in him. He bit Kazuma’s lower lip and thrust his tongue into his mouth, while thrusting into him faster with a hard rhythm. He felt as if he were consuming Kazuma, claiming him completely as the other man clutched at him and moaned against his lips.
This was everything he had ever wanted. The heat of him was driving Barok mad. He broke the kiss and gripped his hips to hold him steady as he pounded into him harder, chasing that heat, that pleasure, as it built within him. “Is this what you hoped for when you asked me to relieve my frustrations?” he asked, his voice a low growl.
“Yes!” Kazuma grabbed his shoulders and dug his nails into the fabric of Barok’s coat. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop!”
Barok released Kazuma’s hip with one hand and grabbed his neglected cock instead. The feel of Kazuma in his hand was almost as powerful as the rest. He stroked him, slowly at first and then faster, in time with his hard thrusts.
“Aaah!” Kazuma clutched at him. “Just like that, Barok, yes, yes!”
His seed spurted out over Barok’s fingers and his own stomach as he clenched around Barok’s cock and came. Driven to the brink himself, Barok pounded into him harder still, fueled by his cries.
His pleasure crested into bliss, and he released inside Kazuma, thrusting in hard a few more times to ride it out. He collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily. At last, he pulled out of him and moved to lie on the bed, alongside him, on his side to gaze at the other man.
Awareness returned with a sense of shame. For all Barok had rejected the idea of using Kazuma for his own pleasure, in the end he had shown no restraint. “Forgive me.”
Kazuma opened his eyes and shot him the withering glare he used when he thought Barok was being an idiot. “Why exactly are you asking forgiveness for giving me the best night of my life?”
“I was far too rough.”
“You were perfect amounts of rough.” Kazuma stretched out on the bed and squirmed in a way that would have been unbearably enticing if Barok were not so spent. “And I bet you feel a lot more relaxed now, huh?”
Barok blushed. He couldn’t deny it. All the day’s earlier frustrations felt like they belonged to another time, while all that mattered right now was the man in bed with him.
“See, you have the perfect stress relief tool at your disposal anytime you—”
“Must you keep describing it like that?”
Kazuma fell silent. “I don’t have to, if you dislike it that much.” His voice was quiet.
His quick acquiescence made Barok’s heart skip a beat. He reached out and cupped Kazuma’s cheek. “It is only that you are far too precious for me to think of you as an object to use for my desires.”
“Then… can I sweetly and lovingly relieve your stress while you treat me to hard, rough sex in exchange?”
Barok covered his face. “You are simply adding more words.”
“Does that make it sound palatable enough for you?”
An unfamiliar smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he drew the other man into his arms. “Your terms are acceptable.”
Kazuma pressed his face against Barok’s shoulder. “I knew this was what you needed.”
Barok stroked his hair and sighed in contentment. Everything felt right in a way it hadn’t in a very long time.
“All right,” Kazuma said, reaching up to unbutton Barok’s coat, “now let’s get you undressed.”
“What?” Barok instinctively covered himself, even if it felt absurd under the circumstances. “Why?”
“Because you have a lot more stress to work out tonight.”