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Vaggie stiffened. While a completely innocent question for most, it was one of the most difficult & painful parts, if not THE most, of her afterlife.
She was not about to open up so quickly, so easily about that. She wasn't Charlie. She couldn't do it.
The younger angel stood, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. “I've got to go.”
Lucifer decided that this wouldn't be the only meeting…
___
The fallen angel walked quickly out of the room, turning it into a sprint after the door shut. She had to get away from that conversation, far away. And away from her thoughts. Part of Vaggie thought about flying somewhere, anywhere, to clear her head. But she couldn't guarantee it wouldn't draw unnecessary attention. This was hell afterall.
Maybe a walk? It wasn't like she was incapable of defending herself…but a mindless walk had led her to that alley before. No. She couldn't go there.
Hurrying through the hotel hallways, Vaggie hoped that the movement would help clear her head, exercise had before. It was often her go to release in life & death. Not that the running was entirely conscious. She just had to get away. Everything recently had been such a heavy reminder. Charlie's meeting with him. Her desire for a meeting with heaven.
Going back there had nearly caused a panic attack in and of itself. Not because of the place itself. But certain people…Charlie still didn't know they'd come to the room. The meeting itself was horrific. They'd forcefully revealed her past to the one person who she loved more than anything, who she fully expected to hate her for eternity given her role in the exterminations.
It was rough coming back and things were tense between her and Charlie. That hurt. A lot. Then she'd gone to Carmilla and felt stupid. But got her wings back. Extermination day came. She had to face them again. Face to face with Lute. It was her fault Dazzle was dead. Half Vaggie half Lute since Lute killed him but Vaggie didn't help.
Things shouldn't spiral. When others asked, because of course it was a natural question when talking to a couple. It just happened to be probably the most traumatizing part of her life. Or one of them.
Lost in her head, Vaggie was not paying attention. Her mind was brought forward when she suddenly ran headfirst into something…or someone.
The sound of a body hitting the floor had her panicked but then a slight groan was heard…that was Charlie. CHARLIE
“Babe are you okay?” Eyes trained now on the demon on the floor.
“Funny,” Charlie said as she stood, eyes looking down at her girlfriend. “I was gonna ask you the same thing.” Actually she'd been on her way to check on Vaggie and her dad when the former ran straight into her, at full speed no less.
“Yea. I'm fine.” Deny, deny, deny. “Why wouldn't I be?”
“Because I found you sprinting down the hall, away from dad's room. And you were running without looking.” She'd successfully dodged Charlie before, even playfully teasing her saying she was lucky Vaggie had such quick reflexes
Of course Charlie noticed. And she couldn't bear to gaslight or lie to Charlie, even about her own well being. Not after hiding her background as an exterminator. She'd promised no more secrets…she couldn't break it so soon.
Her eyes looked to be fighting back tears. Taking the gray-skinned woman's hand in her own, she led her back to their room. It was a safe place. She would've made it sound proof but several people said that…wasn't smart. So slightly removed from others and a bit resistant it was.
Regardless, it was theirs. It was a place for rest, comfort, planning, and, well, anything. Truth telling in this situation maybe.
After getting in, Charlie carefully shut and locked the door in plain view of her partner. It was all above board. Afterwards she took her still obviously shaken up girlfriend to sit on the bed and looked at her, trying to see her honest feelings.
“You're safe here. You're safe with me. It's okay to cry Vaggie. I'm here “ Followed by a hug, rubbing circles on her back.
As ashamed as Vaggie was, because tears meant weakness (a fact she'd expressed before), she let it out. It had been building far longer than the conversation with Lucifer. It was something she had been shoving down instead of addressing. Leaning onto Charlie's chest, the silent tears running down both sides of her face and quickly dampening her eye patch. Not her biggest concern at the moment.
Right now Charlie just rubbed her back, placing a gentle kiss on top of her head. “You are worthy. Your feelings matter. It is okay to cry.” This was not the first time she'd had to remind Vaggie that it was ok to be vulnerable. It was an ongoing struggle.
There were no words happening right now. It was all the angel could do to let it out. She didn't want to talk about it. Maybe later. But now? No. Now she just needed to feel safe, secure, and like it couldn't happen again. Because while the threat seemed gone with Adam dead, and perhaps limited with Lute missing an arm, and they defeated the exorcists back to heaven. It still felt like it could happen again. She was never safe. But she was the protector. She had to be strong.
Despite those fears, Charlie held onto her, soothed her, and allowed her to cry. The demon encouraged it even, telling her it was good to let it out.
This continued for a little while until the smaller woman fell asleep in the taller's arms.
Time for bed. Leaning her down on her side and slowly pulled the covers up right up under her girlfriend's chin. Gently, Charlie took the opportunity to remove Vaggie's eyepatch to let it dry. She hated to be seen without it, but she wouldn't let that happen.
Once assured that Vaggie was actually out, Charlie changed into her own pajamas so that she could go to bed when she returned. And of course, to avoid panic if the Latina did wake up, she made a quick drawing and note to tell her she'd be back.
Now it was time to go get some answers. What happened in that short conversation that led to this?